opening sentences for personal statements

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How To Start A Personal Statement: Tips & Examples

• Published January 20, 2023

We’re regularly asked the question “ how to start a personal statement ”? It’s a challenging task for anybody but worry not as we’re here to help guide you through the process. 

The introduction is the first thing the admissions committee will read. That’s why the first sentence of a personal statement should be a catchy, attention-grabbing hook or story that grabs the reader’s attention and sets up the main point of your essay.

A lacklustre introduction may lose your readers’ interest, preventing them from reading the rest of your personal statement!

But don’t worry, this article will guide you on writing a personal statement introduction, a few examples of opening sentences and how to captivate the admissions tutors. Without further ado, let’s get started.

Top Tip: Leave Your Introduction For Last

You know what they say, the hardest thing to do is  start . So skip the introduction for now and focus on the main body of your personal statement. If you’re not sure what your main content should be, read out how to write a personal statement guide.

After nailing down the main points, you’ll have a concrete idea of how your introduction can captivate the reader and stay relevant to the bulk of the writing. Go ahead and work on the rest of your personal statement.

Come back when you’re finished! And if you’re worried about your conclusion then check out our advice on  personal statement conclusions .

2. Cut To The Chase

You only have  4,000 characters  to sell yourself as an ideal student candidate. Make each character and paragraph count! That means forget about flowery words and directionless statements. When you start your personal statement, explain your motivations for choosing your course in one or two sentences.

Although you will discuss this in-depth in the main body of content, capturing your reader’s attention with a quick overview of why you’re enthusiastic about your chosen course is crucial. That’s why capturing the reader’s attention by jumping straight to the point is key to starting a personal statement.

3. Be Specific

Never give vague details when expressing why you want to pursue your course. “I always wanted to be an engineer since I was a kid,” or “I want to become a doctor because I enjoy science” isn’t advised. 

On that note, if you’re applying to medicine refer to our guide on  how to write a medical personal statement . We suggest being more specific than that, and you can include your academic achievements too. Here are a few suggestions that may help you:

• You witnessed an inspirational figure in your life solve a massive problem with a specific skill set (doctor, engineer, etc.)
• While you were at a charity event, you encountered a problem that kept people in deprivation. By pursuing this course, you’re a part of the solution.
• You’re good at, and you enjoy a specific skill set. The course you’re eyeing puts great emphasis on this particular skill.
• There was a moment in your life when you succeeded in solving a problem. You felt significant by doing so, and you want to keep doing that for the rest of your life (teaching poor children how to read)
• You watched a movie or read a book that ignited your passion for the course. After doing volunteer work or part-time employment related to your course, you’re determined to pursue it.

Craft a sentence or two that encapsulates the core of your “why.” Do this, and your reader will want to read more!

4. Demonstrate Knowledge In Your Chosen Course

An essential element of starting a personal statement is to express why you’re enthusiastic about taking your chosen course. You need to demonstrate that you’re aware of what you’re getting yourself into in the process. Answer any of these prompt questions for inspiration:

• What do you find interesting about the course?
• How do you believe the course will help you achieve your goals?
• How will you use your chosen course to contribute to society?
• What hurdles do you expect to encounter, and how will you handle them?

Decide which of these questions fits best into the main content of your  personal statement . Write your answer in a sentence or two, weave them into your application essay and think about the help you received from your tutors in the past.

5. Ditch The “Since I Was A Child” Line

We’re often asked  what not to put in a personal statement  and “Since I was a child” is a cliche statement that gets thrown around haphazardly. How many students have said this at least once in their personal statements?

Recalling your childhood passions is a weak “why” for pursuing your course. Why? Because the admissions committee is looking for a relevant and up-to-date reason.

When you were little, you had zero knowledge and little enthusiasm to become successful in your field. You had no idea what skillsets you needed or what other options were available to you.

But if you were to cite a recent event in your life that supports your determination to pursue your course, that screams “educated choice” right there. And  that  is what the admission committee is looking for after reading hundreds, if not thousands of introductions.

6. Brainstorm Several Versions Of Your Opening Lines

The desire to get it right the first time paralyses you from starting. So permit yourself to write freely. Write as many versions of your opening lines as possible.

Don’t worry about the grammar, spelling, or character count just yet. Type everything that goes off the top of your head. When you’re done, take a look at your list.

Cross out the ones you dislike, and encircle the ones you think have potential. Then start piecing the puzzle pieces together to check out if the intro lines fit with the rest of your personal statement. 

If you’ve found three potential opening statements, try reading them aloud together with the rest of your personal statement. Do they flow seamlessly into one another? Make the necessary adjustments. Play around with it until you feel you’ve hit the spot.

7. Make Your Opening Statement Error Free

Your opening statement is your hook line. Spelling or grammatical errors at the start discourage your reader from reading further. If you have errors at the beginning, you’ll most likely have them in your main content!

So make sure your English is simple, flawless, and straightforward. Run your personal statement through a tool like Grammarly to weed out most of the errors.

The Hemingway app is also a helpful tool for checking for passive voice and other writing problems. Take advantage of writing assistant tools, especially if you’re a non-native English writer.

8. Read Examples Of Personal Statements

Read as many personal statement examples as you can. Any that captivated you, keep them in your notes. Figure out  why  these statements stood out to you compared to the others. What elements can you place in  your  personal statement?

When reading personal statements that put you off, find out why. What characteristics do they have that elicit a negative reaction from you? List them down, and make sure you avoid them.

After this exercise, you should have a few more ideas about your personal statement introduction.

9. Ask For Feedback

Never underestimate what feedback can give you. Ask your family, friends, and acquaintances about your opening statement. Does your personality shine through? Is it straight to the point? Does it flow smoothly with the main content of your personal statement?

Listen to what they have to say. Jot down important points. You’ll need their feedback to get a second opinion on whether it works for you or not.

10. Give Yourself Time

Your chosen career depends on your college education. And a first crucial step is to convince the admission committee you’re worth accepting into your university. You have to give your personal statement your best shot. Give yourself enough time to brainstorm and think everything over.

You can’t finish a complete,  well-written personal statement  in a week. Much less overnight!

So make sure you set aside enough time to put your best foot forward. After finishing a complete draft of your personal statement, put it down. Forget about it for a few days. Then come back and reread it.

With a fresh set of eyes, you’ll notice details you may not have seen before! Revise as much as you need.

Do I Need To Write An Introduction For A Personal Statement?

Yes, we recommend writing an introduction for your personal statement as it provides context to the rest of your writing. The introduction is an opportunity to make a good first impression and capture the university admissions officer’s attention.

What is a good opening sentence for a personal statement?

Here are some examples of a good opening sentence for a captivating introduction. Note how it ties into the university degree almost straight away with first-hand experience:

• “Growing up in a small town with limited resources sparked my curiosity and drive to pursue higher education and make a positive impact in my community.”
• “From a young age, I have been fascinated by the intricacies of the human mind and the power of psychology to improve people’s lives.”
• “As a first-generation college student, I am determined to break barriers and pave the way for future generations through a career in law.”
• “My passion for sustainable design was ignited by a volunteer trip to a developing country, where I witnessed the devastating effects of environmental degradation firsthand.”
• “A chance encounter with a blind person and their guide dog inspired me to pursue a career in veterinary medicine, with the goal of improving the lives of animals and their human companions.”

Please do NOT use these in your personal statements, use these to guide you on how you want to start your personal statement.

Can You Open Your Personal Statement With A Quote?

It is a risky move to open your personal statement with a quote and can come across as clichéd or insincere to the university admission officers. However, there are rare occasions when it can work, just make sure the quote relates to your degree and experience you’re writing about.

Get Ready To Write Your Personal Statement

How does one start a captivating personal statement? Take the time to think about what makes an effective introduction.

Read examples of personal statements from other students to glean ideas for how yours might stand out. Once you have read through some good ones, they should be more than just two or three!–look closely at what elements made them so successful. 

Then try applying those same principles on how to start a personal statement! Don’t forget to bookmark this post for future reference.

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Exploring the Best Personal Statement Opening Sentence Examples

Table of Contents

A personal statement opener should be powerful and engaging to capture the reader’s attention. It can be tricky to write a statement that conveys your message while staying true to yourself. But with the right approach, you can craft an excellent introduction that will leave a lasting impression.

This article provides effective personal statement opening sentence examples and tips on how to create one tailored to fit your unique experiences and personality. With these tools, you’ll have all you need to write an impactful statement that stands out among other applicants.

Why Is a Personal Statement Opening Sentence Important?

A personal statement starting sentence is vitally important because it sets the tone for the entire piece. It gives the reader a glimpse into who the writer is and why they are writing the statement in the first place. When crafted with care, it can demonstrate the writer’s expertise, showcase their accomplishments, and illustrate their passion for the subject matter. It makes an emotional connection with the audience.

A well-crafted opening sentence conveys emotion, showcases creativity, and utilizes uncommon words to draw readers in and convince them to continue reading. This makes it essential for writers to take time to craft their opening sentences thoughtfully. They must draw upon their experience and knowledge to create something meaningful and powerful that stands out from the competition.

Effective Tips on How to Write a Personal Statement Opener

Below are some valuable tips on how to start writing your personal statement opening sentence and make it effective for the audience:

Take some time to brainstorm ideas and think through the main points you want to include in your personal statement opening sentence. Consider what makes a great opening line that can capture the attention of readers right away.

Be Creative

Create an original and interesting opening sentence by using creative language, vivid imagery, and humor if appropriate. Make sure it stands out from other statements that may be more generic or expected.

Evoke Emotion

Use language that elicits an emotional response from readers and allows them to connect with your story. This will help keep their attention and make them more likely to remember your statement when considering applicants for admission.

Keep It Short

Try not to exceed two sentences, as this can be overwhelming or unappealing to read. Also, check that each sentence contains only one core idea so as not to clutter the content with too much information at once.

Show Your Expertise

Let your experience shine through! Include factual examples demonstrating your knowledge of the subject matter and your expertise level. This will draw the reader in and build trust in your writing ability.

Use uncommon words to stand out from other candidates. Avoid repeating the same words and use varied sentence structures to create a unique and engaging statement.

Stay True to Yourself

Write in your own voice rather than trying to sound perfect or robotic like AI. Using colloquial language and weaving details about yourself can add personality to your writing and make it memorable.

Personal Statement Opening Sentence Examples

Here’s a list of different personal statement opening sentence examples to inspire you to write one on your own.

Personal Statement Example 1:

Applying to university is an essential step in furthering my education and enriching my career. So I’m thrilled to be submitting this application for consideration as a student on the course.

Personal Statement Example 2:

With over five years of experience, I am confident my qualifications make me a prime candidate for this opportunity at your esteemed university.

Personal Statement Example 3:

I’ve been driven by curiosity and ambition throughout my life, pursuing opportunities to expand my knowledge and grow professionally and personally. Thus, I am making my application for the course an exciting prospect indeed.

Personal Statement Example 4:

Fostering relationships with peers and mentors has always played a significant role in how I approach each challenge. It is no surprise I am looking forward to embracing the unique environment of your university and applying what I know to the course.

Personal Statement Example 5:

From mentorship programs to research initiatives, the opportunities available to students within the program are something I’ve long admired. This is why I’m incredibly enthusiastic about this [program name] and becoming part of such a vibrant academic community.

Personal Statement Example 6:

My relentless ambition to become a successful student has driven me to apply for university in the best way possible. I wish to show my hard work, dedication, and passion for people.

Personal Statement Example 7:

I have honed my skill set through careful study and countless hours of practice. And am now ready to put it to work on a university course that will propel me toward success.

Personal Statement Example 8:

I’m applying for admission into a top-tier university with an unwavering desire to make a difference in this world. I want to gain the knowledge, experience, and qualifications to contribute to the world.

Personal Statement Example 9:

As a passionate individual with strong interpersonal capabilities, I believe I can excel as a student and contribute significantly to any application process.

Personal Statement Example 10:

With an expansive set of academic credentials combined with industry experience, I’m confident I can enhance your university’s student body through my presence.

Personal Statement Example 11:

I have been enamored with the subject of (subject) for years. My experience and expertise allow me to cultivate a deep understanding of its nuances and complexities.

Personal Statement Example 12:

Having already established myself in the industry, I am now looking for an opportunity to use my skills and expertise at a college level.

Personal Statement Example 13:

As I start my studies and gain further qualifications, I want to learn how to apply my knowledge to future work opportunities.

Personal Statement Example 14:

Desiring to unleash my potential and creativity, I seek the opportunity to challenge myself academically while advancing my personal goals through higher education.

Personal Statement Example 15:

Drawing from my past experiences and newfound inspirations, I am excited to begin this new chapter of my life as a student.

Personal Statement Example 16:

I choose to ask myself one vital question. How best can I utilize my years of experience to make the most impact on my intended field of study?

Personal Statement Example 17:

With years of experience behind me, I am ready to take the next step in pursuing my higher education. It will refine my existing skill set and open up new growth opportunities.

Personal Statement Example 18:

Motivated by a passion for learning and driven to succeed, I seek admission to [program name] at your esteemed university. This will help me start on a path toward realizing my highest potential.

Every individual has a varied personality and different intentions for pursuing higher education and their respective career paths.

Knowing what to put in your personal statement and how to craft it can be complicated and overwhelming. This article provides valuable tips and examples for writing effective opening sentences for personal statements that will grab the reader’s attention.

Abir Ghenaiet

Abir is a data analyst and researcher. Among her interests are artificial intelligence, machine learning, and natural language processing. As a humanitarian and educator, she actively supports women in tech and promotes diversity.

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The best statements tend to be genuine and specific from the very start. You'll be on the right track if you show your enthusiasm for the subject or course, your understanding of it, and what you want to achieve.

Admissions tutors – the people who read and score your personal statement – say don’t get stressed about trying to think of a ‘killer opening’. Discover the advice below and take your time to think about how best to introduce yourself.

Liz Bryan: HE Coordinator and Careers Advisor, Queen Elizabeth Sixth Form College

Preparing to write your personal statement.

Start by making some notes . The personal statement allows admissions tutors to form a picture of who you are. So, for the opener, think about writing down things, such as:

• why you’re a good candidate
• your motivations
• what brings you to this course

If you’re applying for multiple courses , think about how your skills, academic interests, and the way you think are relevant to all the courses you've chosen.

Top tips on how to write your statement opener

We spoke to admissions tutors at unis and colleges – read on for their tips.

1. Don't begin with the overkill opening

Try not to overthink the opening sentence. You need to engage the reader with your relevant thoughts and ideas, but not go overboard .

Tutors said: ‘The opening is your chance to introduce yourself, to explain your motivation for studying the course and to demonstrate your understanding of it. The best personal statements get to the point quickly. Go straight in. What excites you about the course and why do you want to learn about it more?’

Be succinct and draw the reader in, but not with a gimmick. This isn't the X Factor. Admissions tutor

2. Write about why you want to study that course

Think about why you want to study the course and how you can demonstrate this in your written statement :

’Your interest in the course is the biggest thing. Start with a short sentence that captures the reason why you’re interested in studying the area you’re applying for and that communicates your enthusiasm for it. Don't waffle or say you want to study something just because it's interesting. Explain what you find interesting about it.’

It's much better to engage us with something interesting, relevant, specific and current in your opening line… Start with what's inspiring you now, not what inspired you when you were six. Admissions tutor

3. Avoid cliches

Try to avoid cliches and the most obvious opening sentences so you stand out from the very first line . UCAS publishes a list of common opening lines each year. Here are just some overused phrases to avoid using in your personal statement:

• From a young age…      
• For as long as I can remember…
• I am applying for this course because…
• I have always been interested in…
• Throughout my life I have always enjoyed…

And try not to use quotes . Quotations are top of the list of admissions tutors' pet hates.

4. Maybe don't begin at the start?

’Concentrate on the main content of your statement and write the introduction last. I think the opening line is the hardest one to write, so I often say leave it until the end and just try and get something down on paper.’

It may be easier to get on with writing the main content of your statement and coming back to the introduction afterwards –that way you will also know what you’re introducing.

I often advise applicants to start with paragraph two, where you get into why you want to study the course. That's what we're really interested in. Admissions tutor

The personal statement tool image

Don’t be tempted to copy or share your statement.

UCAS scans all personal statements through a similarity detection system to compare them with previous statements.

Any similarity greater than 30% will be flagged and we'll inform the universities and colleges to which you have applied. 

Find out more

Joseph bolton: year 2 history& politics student, university of liverpool.

• Do talk about you and your enthusiasm for the subject from the very start.
• Do be specific. Explain what you want to study and why in the first two sentences.
• Do come back to the opening sentences if you can’t think what to write straightaway.
• Don’t waste time trying to think of a catchy opening.
• Don't waffle – simply explain what you find interesting about the subject and show that you know what you are applying for.
• Don't rely on someone else's words. It's your statement after all – they want to know what you think.

One final thought

Think about making a link between your opening sentence and closing paragraph – a technique sometimes called the 'necklace approach’.

You can reinforce what you said at the start or add an extra dimension. For example, if you started with an interesting line about what’s currently motivating you to study your chosen degree course, you could link back to it at the end, perhaps with something about why you’d love to study this further at uni.

Need more advice?

• Struggling with the conclusion to your personal statement? Read our guide on how to finish your statement the right way .
• Read more dos and don’ts when writing your personal statement . 
• Discover what to include in your personal statement .
• Start your opening sentences with our personal statement builder now.

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Personal Statement Sentence Starters: Expert Advice

Good personal statement openings are crucial when it comes to engaging admissions tutors.

But in the process of writing your personal statement, you might realise that you’re repeating the words you use in your opening sentences and paragraphs.

This lack of variety can lead to a sense of monotony in tone and content, alienating the reader.

But don’t worry!

There are several sentence starters you can use that won’t leave your personal statement sounding stilted or unnatural and that will help your personal statement stand out.

Here’s an expert guide to using effective sentence starters to improve your personal statement…  

Personal statement sentence starters fall into three specific categories. Introductions, comparisons and conclusions are effective ways to start paragraphs. Use connections, additions and relationships when developing content.  Starters relating to the presentation of ideas work well throughout.

From sixth-form personal statement sentence starters to postgraduate applications, you’ll discover specific examples of each of these personal statement sentence starter categories in the sections below…

Introduction, Comparison and Conclusion Starters

Having a practical understanding of personal statement sentence starters in this category is extremely valuable if you want to achieve greater variety and originality in your writing.

Introducing a new point or topic can become repetitive quickly; how many times have you written “I also” or “as a result”?

Avoiding these common phrases can add depth to your statement, but also encourage the reader to view you as an informed and versatile candidate.

As Mary Curnock Cook, a former UCAS Chief Executive states:

“The personal statement is supposed to be personal. Learning to write about yourself in a compelling way is a vital skill when applying for jobs; using hackneyed phrases is not the best way to stand out.” Mary Curnock Cook

Have you ever felt the need to write the kind of overused opening sentences that start with “At a young age..?”

If so, here are some introductory personal statement openings that will add to the compelling quality of your writing, without making it sound as though you’ve plucked words from a dictionary:

If you can make good use of comparative sentence starters , your writing will be increasingly concise, your points will be made with greater precision and you will be more likely to meet the word or character limit.

Here are some effective examples:

What follows are some excellent ways in which to start a concluding sentence or paragraph.

Remember that your aim is not to repeat previous content, but to use the opportunity to lead into the next paragraph or topic:

Connection, Addition and Relationship Starters

Once you’ve begun writing about a specific point or topic, you’ll find you need to connect one idea with another in order to make a concise or compelling point.

This connection can be challenging, as very quickly you might start to use a limited range of vocabulary such as “also” or “along with” or “as well as”.

These are the kinds of words that applicants use frequently, and they can indicate a lack of breadth, vocabulary or research in the mind of an admissions tutor.

Unoriginal vocabulary can also lead to your personal statement being rejected, or even to your entire application being refused, in the case of plagiarism.

According to Carly Minsky at timeshighereducation.com these are some of the most overused phrases featured in UCAS personal statements , so do make sure you don’t repeat them.

Below are some excellent suggestions for connecting or adding phrases, concepts or ideas in your personal statement:

It can be vitally important to effectively illustrate the relationship between an experience or piece of knowledge that you hold and the demands of the course or role that you are applying for.

The focus of the reader needs to be on the content itself , not the words you use to compare or contrast it, and these personal statement sentence starters will help you achieve this, every time:

Now you’re feeling more confident about your vocabulary, you should get to grips with the right structure to use for your personal statement.

My Personal Statement Template eBook gives you 10 original templates to follow when you’re writing a personal statement, meaning you’re guaranteed to find the right structure for your application.

It’s packed full of useful advice and shows you exactly what content to include. You’ll also discover how many words or characters to use for each paragraph for maximum effect!

Perfect for UCAS undergraduate applications, Oxbridge and Medicine , master’s degrees and employment , my eBook also includes exclusive guidance for writing a perfect statement of purpose .

Click on the image below to discover how my eBook can help you write the perfect personal statement…

Sentence Starters for Presenting New Ideas

An important aspect of your personal statement is the presentation of new ideas and concepts that illustrate your understanding of the course topic.

You should also show that you can synthesise aspects of your prior experience and knowledge.

This can be a complex process to write about, so having dynamic and effective vocabulary to work with can be extremely valuable.

The table below gives you a selection of examples of the kinds of sentence starters you could use to introduce a new concept in a personal statement opening sentence:

It’s worth noting that, generally speaking, new ideas and concepts should be contained within a specific paragraph. If you’re looking for advice on how to structure the paragraphs in your personal statement, check out my article here.

You may have noticed that I haven’t included a section in this post devoted to the kinds of sentence starters you shouldn’t use in your personal statement.

That’s because each personal statement is unique, and good sentence openers need to focus on different aspects of your experiences and ambitions. Try not to think about avoiding specific words or phrases and focus more on including content that best represents your ambitions!

If you really want some pointers on what not to include, Amy Davies has a great article on words you should never use in your personal statement over at whatuni.com . 

If you want to focus on writing an amazing opening paragraph, then check out my post that tells you exactly how great first paragraphs are created!

If you’re just starting out, then this is the post for you…

Good luck with your personal statement, and don’t forget to contact me if you’d like some 1-1 support.

You’ve got this! D

Research and content verified by Personal Statement Planet .

David Hallen

I've worked in the Further Education and University Admissions sector for nearly 20 years as a teacher, department head, Head of Sixth Form, UCAS Admissions Advisor, UK Centre Lead and freelance personal statement advisor, editor and writer. And now I'm here for you...

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• How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples

How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples

Published on February 12, 2019 by Shona McCombes . Revised on July 3, 2023.

A personal statement is a short essay of around 500–1,000 words, in which you tell a compelling story about who you are, what drives you, and why you’re applying.

To write a successful personal statement for a graduate school application , don’t just summarize your experience; instead, craft a focused narrative in your own voice. Aim to demonstrate three things:

• Your personality: what are your interests, values, and motivations?
• Your talents: what can you bring to the program?
• Your goals: what do you hope the program will do for you?

This article guides you through some winning strategies to build a strong, well-structured personal statement for a master’s or PhD application. You can download the full examples below.

Urban Planning Psychology History

Table of contents

Getting started with your personal statement, the introduction: start with an attention-grabbing opening, the main body: craft your narrative, the conclusion: look ahead, revising, editing, and proofreading your personal statement, frequently asked questions, other interesting articles.

Before you start writing, the first step is to understand exactly what’s expected of you. If the application gives you a question or prompt for your personal statement, the most important thing is to respond to it directly.

For example, you might be asked to focus on the development of your personal identity; challenges you have faced in your life; or your career motivations. This will shape your focus and emphasis—but you still need to find your own unique approach to answering it.

There’s no universal template for a personal statement; it’s your chance to be creative and let your own voice shine through. But there are strategies you can use to build a compelling, well-structured story.

The first paragraph of your personal statement should set the tone and lead smoothly into the story you want to tell.

Strategy 1: Open with a concrete scene

An effective way to catch the reader’s attention is to set up a scene that illustrates something about your character and interests. If you’re stuck, try thinking about:

• A personal experience that changed your perspective
• A story from your family’s history
• A memorable teacher or learning experience
• An unusual or unexpected encounter

To write an effective scene, try to go beyond straightforward description; start with an intriguing sentence that pulls the reader in, and give concrete details to create a convincing atmosphere.

Strategy 2: Open with your motivations

To emphasize your enthusiasm and commitment, you can start by explaining your interest in the subject you want to study or the career path you want to follow.

Just stating that it interests you isn’t enough: first, you need to figure out why you’re interested in this field:

• Is it a longstanding passion or a recent discovery?
• Does it come naturally or have you had to work hard at it?
• How does it fit into the rest of your life?
• What do you think it contributes to society?

Tips for the introduction

• Don’t start on a cliche: avoid phrases like “Ever since I was a child…” or “For as long as I can remember…”
• Do save the introduction for last. If you’re struggling to come up with a strong opening, leave it aside, and note down any interesting ideas that occur to you as you write the rest of the personal statement.

Once you’ve set up the main themes of your personal statement, you’ll delve into more detail about your experiences and motivations.

To structure the body of your personal statement, there are various strategies you can use.

Strategy 1: Describe your development over time

One of the simplest strategies is to give a chronological overview of key experiences that have led you to apply for graduate school.

• What first sparked your interest in the field?
• Which classes, assignments, classmates, internships, or other activities helped you develop your knowledge and skills?
• Where do you want to go next? How does this program fit into your future plans?

Don’t try to include absolutely everything you’ve done—pick out highlights that are relevant to your application. Aim to craft a compelling narrative that shows how you’ve changed and actively developed yourself.

My interest in psychology was first sparked early in my high school career. Though somewhat scientifically inclined, I found that what interested me most was not the equations we learned about in physics and chemistry, but the motivations and perceptions of my fellow students, and the subtle social dynamics that I observed inside and outside the classroom. I wanted to learn how our identities, beliefs, and behaviours are shaped through our interactions with others, so I decided to major in Social Psychology. My undergraduate studies deepened my understanding of, and fascination with, the interplay between an individual mind and its social context.During my studies, I acquired a solid foundation of knowledge about concepts like social influence and group dynamics, but I also took classes on various topics not strictly related to my major. I was particularly interested in how other fields intersect with psychology—the classes I took on media studies, biology, and literature all enhanced my understanding of psychological concepts by providing different lenses through which to look at the issues involved.

Strategy 2: Own your challenges and obstacles

If your path to graduate school hasn’t been easy or straightforward, you can turn this into a strength, and structure your personal statement as a story of overcoming obstacles.

• Is your social, cultural or economic background underrepresented in the field? Show how your experiences will contribute a unique perspective.
• Do you have gaps in your resume or lower-than-ideal grades? Explain the challenges you faced and how you dealt with them.

Don’t focus too heavily on negatives, but use them to highlight your positive qualities. Resilience, resourcefulness and perseverance make you a promising graduate school candidate.

Growing up working class, urban decay becomes depressingly familiar. The sight of a row of abandoned houses does not surprise me, but it continues to bother me. Since high school, I have been determined to pursue a career in urban planning. While people of my background experience the consequences of urban planning decisions first-hand, we are underrepresented in the field itself. Ironically, given my motivation, my economic background has made my studies challenging. I was fortunate enough to be awarded a scholarship for my undergraduate studies, but after graduation I took jobs in unrelated fields to help support my parents. In the three years since, I have not lost my ambition. Now I am keen to resume my studies, and I believe I can bring an invaluable perspective to the table: that of the people most impacted by the decisions of urban planners.

Strategy 3: Demonstrate your knowledge of the field

Especially if you’re applying for a PhD or another research-focused program, it’s a good idea to show your familiarity with the subject and the department. Your personal statement can focus on the area you want to specialize in and reflect on why it matters to you.

• Reflect on the topics or themes that you’ve focused on in your studies. What draws you to them?
• Discuss any academic achievements, influential teachers, or other highlights of your education.
• Talk about the questions you’d like to explore in your research and why you think they’re important.

The personal statement isn’t a research proposal , so don’t go overboard on detail—but it’s a great opportunity to show your enthusiasm for the field and your capacity for original thinking.

In applying for this research program, my intention is to build on the multidisciplinary approach I have taken in my studies so far, combining knowledge from disparate fields of study to better understand psychological concepts and issues. The Media Psychology program stands out to me as the perfect environment for this kind of research, given its researchers’ openness to collaboration across diverse fields. I am impressed by the department’s innovative interdisciplinary projects that focus on the shifting landscape of media and technology, and I hope that my own work can follow a similarly trailblazing approach. More specifically, I want to develop my understanding of the intersection of psychology and media studies, and explore how media psychology theories and methods might be applied to neurodivergent minds. I am interested not only in media psychology but also in psychological disorders, and how the two interact. This is something I touched on during my undergraduate studies and that I’m excited to delve into further.

Strategy 4: Discuss your professional ambitions

Especially if you’re applying for a more professionally-oriented program (such as an MBA), it’s a good idea to focus on concrete goals and how the program will help you achieve them.

• If your career is just getting started, show how your character is suited to the field, and explain how graduate school will help you develop your talents.
• If you have already worked in the profession, show what you’ve achieved so far, and explain how the program will allow you to take the next step.
• If you are planning a career change, explain what has driven this decision and how your existing experience will help you succeed.

Don’t just state the position you want to achieve. You should demonstrate that you’ve put plenty of thought into your career plans and show why you’re well-suited to this profession.

One thing that fascinated me about the field during my undergraduate studies was the sheer number of different elements whose interactions constitute a person’s experience of an urban environment. Any number of factors could transform the scene I described at the beginning: What if there were no bus route? Better community outreach in the neighborhood? Worse law enforcement? More or fewer jobs available in the area? Some of these factors are out of the hands of an urban planner, but without taking them all into consideration, the planner has an incomplete picture of their task. Through further study I hope to develop my understanding of how these disparate elements combine and interact to create the urban environment. I am interested in the social, psychological and political effects our surroundings have on our lives. My studies will allow me to work on projects directly affecting the kinds of working-class urban communities I know well. I believe I can bring my own experiences, as well as my education, to bear upon the problem of improving infrastructure and quality of life in these communities.

Tips for the main body

• Don’t rehash your resume by trying to summarize everything you’ve done so far; the personal statement isn’t about listing your academic or professional experience, but about reflecting, evaluating, and relating it to broader themes.
• Do make your statements into stories: Instead of saying you’re hard-working and self-motivated, write about your internship where you took the initiative to start a new project. Instead of saying you’ve always loved reading, reflect on a novel or poem that changed your perspective.

Your conclusion should bring the focus back to the program and what you hope to get out of it, whether that’s developing practical skills, exploring intellectual questions, or both.

Emphasize the fit with your specific interests, showing why this program would be the best way to achieve your aims.

Strategy 1: What do you want to know?

If you’re applying for a more academic or research-focused program, end on a note of curiosity: what do you hope to learn, and why do you think this is the best place to learn it?

If there are specific classes or faculty members that you’re excited to learn from, this is the place to express your enthusiasm.

Strategy 2: What do you want to do?

If you’re applying for a program that focuses more on professional training, your conclusion can look to your career aspirations: what role do you want to play in society, and why is this program the best choice to help you get there?

Tips for the conclusion

• Don’t summarize what you’ve already said. You have limited space in a personal statement, so use it wisely!
• Do think bigger than yourself: try to express how your individual aspirations relate to your local community, your academic field, or society more broadly. It’s not just about what you’ll get out of graduate school, but about what you’ll be able to give back.

You’ll be expected to do a lot of writing in graduate school, so make a good first impression: leave yourself plenty of time to revise and polish the text.

Your style doesn’t have to be as formal as other kinds of academic writing, but it should be clear, direct and coherent. Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly from the last, using topic sentences and transitions to create clear connections between each part.

Don’t be afraid to rewrite and restructure as much as necessary. Since you have a lot of freedom in the structure of a personal statement, you can experiment and move information around to see what works best.

Finally, it’s essential to carefully proofread your personal statement and fix any language errors. Before you submit your application, consider investing in professional personal statement editing . For $150, you have the peace of mind that your personal statement is grammatically correct, strong in term of your arguments, and free of awkward mistakes.

A statement of purpose is usually more formal, focusing on your academic or professional goals. It shouldn’t include anything that isn’t directly relevant to the application.

A personal statement can often be more creative. It might tell a story that isn’t directly related to the application, but that shows something about your personality, values, and motivations.

However, both types of document have the same overall goal: to demonstrate your potential as a graduate student and s how why you’re a great match for the program.

The typical length of a personal statement for graduate school applications is between 500 and 1,000 words.

Different programs have different requirements, so always check if there’s a minimum or maximum length and stick to the guidelines. If there is no recommended word count, aim for no more than 1-2 pages.

If you’re applying to multiple graduate school programs, you should tailor your personal statement to each application.

Some applications provide a prompt or question. In this case, you might have to write a new personal statement from scratch: the most important task is to respond to what you have been asked.

If there’s no prompt or guidelines, you can re-use the same idea for your personal statement – but change the details wherever relevant, making sure to emphasize why you’re applying to this specific program.

If the application also includes other essays, such as a statement of purpose , you might have to revise your personal statement to avoid repeating the same information.

If you want to know more about college essays , academic writing , and AI tools , make sure to check out some of our other language articles with explanations, examples, and quizzes.

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How to start a personal statement

The process of writing your personal statement can be simple if you know how to start. this is our guide on where to begin..

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Make a plan

Prepare how you’re going to write your personal statement before you begin any of the actual writing. Note down how you want to structure it and what you want to say in each paragraph. By summarising what you’re going to write in a plan, you can assess whether your personal statement will flow and if you have all the things you need to include.

• What to include in a personal statement

Have a structure

Part of planning your personal statement is deciding how to lay it out. Keep in mind that you’re telling admissions tutors the story of you. All stories have a structure – there’s a beginning, a middle and an end. You can use a similar method to convey your motivation for choosing the subject you’re applying for.

There’s more than one way to structure a personal statement, but you should at least have a:

• Clear introduction
• Strong body of five–six paragraphs that link your experience and achievements to why you've chosen the subject
• Conclusion to summarise it all

A structured statement also shows admissions tutors that you can communicate effectively.

Begin with you

Tackling the introduction first? This is your chance to talk about you, your background, and your excitement for the course. It should then flow naturally into the middle paragraphs, where you can expand on why you’re interested in the subject you’ve chosen.

Tina, Lead Admissions Tutor for Adult Nursing at the University of Brighton , shared with us what she looks for in the first few paragraphs of a student's personal statement:

They should start their application with the reason why they are applying and if they have any personal insight into a role such as being cared for when they were younger, attending hospital to visit a relative or any other experience as part of a course, volunteering, or work. Tina, Lead Admissions Tutor for Adult Nursing at University of Brighton

Be to the point from the beginning

Your introduction shouldn’t be long-winded, so two or three sentences are usually enough. You only have 4,000 characters and about 47 lines to play with for the entire statement.

Don’t be afraid to go straight into talking about what excites you most about your subject and the motivation behind choosing to apply. Use language that’s punchy, concise, and relevant too. This will help you to show your ambition and enthusiasm to admissions tutors.

Avoid cliché opening sentences

Clichés are clichés because they’re overused. Put yourself in the shoes of an admissions tutor – they’ll be reading lots of personal statements, so the ones that stand out will be those that aren’t like the others.

Make a note of any clichéd sentences you can think of or have seen online, and check you don’t include them when writing your personal statement. Some examples to avoid include:

• ‘I have always wanted to study...’
• ‘I feel I’ve always had a passion for...’
• ‘From a young age...’
• ‘Since I can remember...’

Don’t feel pressured to write the intro first

The introduction seems like the obvious place to start. But you may find it easier to leave the introduction until the end. Start at whichever point suits you best, provided you have a plan and structure in place.

Fortunately, the intro is only a few sentences, and given that the most important content will come in the body paragraphs, it may make sense to start with these paragraphs.

Just start writing! Don’t feel that you necessarily need to write your personal statement in the order in which it will be read. This is only for the author to know. Dr Ceri Davies, Economics Director of Admissions and Recruitment at University of Birmingham

• Tips for writing your personal statement

Just get words down

The most important part of writing is to get words on paper. If you’re struggling to plan, try writing down the first words that come to your head about why you want to study the subject. If you do have a plan and structure, but don’t know where to begin, try taking the same approach. You can remove or edit any bits that you don’t like later.

Once you start writing you should hopefully enter a state of flow. You’ll piece sentences together and gradually craft an impressive personal statement.

Start by writing down all the reasons why you want to study the subject you are applying for and then, when all your enthusiasm is flowing, you can decide the order you want to put it in. Katherine Pagett, Student Recruitment Manager at University of Birmingham

• How to make your personal statement stand out

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How to Write a Personal Statement

A personal statement can be a key part of your college application, and you can really make yours shine by following a few tips.

When you're applying to college—either to an undergraduate or graduate program—you may be asked to submit a personal statement. It's an essay that gives you the chance to share more about who you are and why you'd like to attend the university you're applying to.  

The information you provide in your personal statement can help build on your other application materials, like your transcripts and letters of recommendation, and build a more cohesive picture to help the admissions committee understand your goals.

In this article, we'll go over more about personal statements, including why they're important, what to include in one, and tips for strengthening yours.

What is a personal statement?

A personal statement—sometimes known as a college essay —is a brief written essay you submit with other materials when applying to college or university. Personal statements tend to be most common for undergraduate applications, and they're a great opportunity for an admissions committee to hear your voice directly.

Many colleges and universities in the US, especially those using Common App , provide prompts for you to use. For example, "Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea" or "Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time" [ 1 ]. If the school you're interested in attending doesn't require prompts, you will likely want to craft a response that touches on your story, your values, and your goals if possible.

In grad school, personal statements are sometimes known as letters of intent , and go into more detail about your academic and professional background, while expressing interest in attending the particular program you're applying to.

Why is a personal statement important?

Personal statements are important for a number of reasons. Whereas other materials you submit in an application can address your academic abilities (like your transcripts) or how you perform as a student (like your letters of recommendation), a personal statement is a chance to do exactly that: get more personal.

Personal statements typically:

Permit you to share things that don't fit on your resume, such as personal stories, motivations, and values

Offer schools a chance to see why you're interested in a particular field of study and what you hope to accomplish after you graduate 

Provide an opportunity for you to talk about past employment, volunteer experiences, or skills you have that complement your studies 

Allow colleges to evaluate your writing skills 

Bring life to a college application package otherwise filled with facts and figures 

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How to write a personal statement.

As we mentioned earlier, you may have to respond to a prompt when drafting your personal statement—or a college or university may invite you to respond however you'd like. In either case, use the steps below to begin building your response.

Create a solid hook .

To capture the attention of an admissions committee member, start your personal statement with a hook that relates to the topic of your essay. A hook tends to be a colorful sentence or two at the very beginning that compels the reader to continue reading.

To create a captivating hook, try one of these methods:

Pose a rhetorical question. 

Provide an interesting statistic. 

Insert a quote from a well-known person.

Challenge the reader with a common misconception. 

Use an anecdote, which is a short story that can be true or imaginary. 

Credibility is crucial when writing a personal statement as part of your college application process. If you choose a statistic, quote, or misconception for your hook, make sure it comes from a reliable source.

Follow a narrative.

The best personal statements typically read like a story: they have a common theme, as well as a beginning, middle, and end. This type of format also helps keep your thoughts organized and improves the flow of your essay.

Common themes to consider for your personal statement include:

Special role models from your past

Life-altering events you've experienced

Unusual challenges you've faced

Accomplishments you're especially proud of

Service to others and why you enjoy it

What you've learned from traveling to a particular place

Unique ways you stand out from other candidates

Be specific.

Admissions committees read thousands of personal statements every year, which is why being specific on yours is important. Back up your statements with examples or anecdotes.

For instance, avoid vague assertions like, "I'm interested in your school counseling program because I care about children." Instead, point out experiences you've had with children that emphasize how much you care. For instance, you might mention your summer job as a day camp counselor or your volunteer experience mentoring younger children.

Don't forget to include detail and vibrancy to keep your statement interesting. The use of detail shows how your unique voice and experiences can add value to the college or university you're applying to.

Stay on topic.

It's natural to want to impress the members of the admissions committee who will read your personal statement. The best way to do this is to lead your readers through a cohesive, informative, and descriptive essay.

If you feel you might be going astray, ensure each paragraph in your essay's body supports your introduction. Here are a few more strategies that can help keep you on track:

Know what you want to say and do research if needed. 

Create an outline listing the key points you want to share.

Read your outline aloud to confirm it makes logical sense before proceeding. 

Read your essay aloud while you're writing to confirm you're staying on topic.

Ask a trusted friend or family member to read your essay and make suggestions.

Be true to your own voice.

Because of the importance of your personal statement, you could be tempted to be very formal with structure and language. However, using a more relaxed tone is better than you would for a classroom writing assignment. 

Remember: admissions committees really want to hear from you . Writing in your own voice will help accomplish this. To ensure your tone isn't too relaxed, write your statement as if you were speaking to an older relative or trusted teacher. This way, you'll come across as respectful, confident, and honest.

Tips for drafting an effective personal statement.

Now that you've learned a little about personal statements and how to craft them, here are a few more tips you can follow to strengthen your essay:

1. Customize your statement.

You don't have to completely rewrite your personal statement every time you apply to a new college, but you want to make sure you tailor it as much as possible. For instance, if you talk about wanting to take a certain class or study a certain subject, make sure you adjust any specifics for each application.

2. Avoid cliches.

Admissions committees are ultimately looking for students who will fit the school, and who the school can help guide toward their larger goals. In that case, cliches can get in the way of a reviewer understanding what it is you want from a college education. Watch out for cliches like "making a difference," "broadening my horizons," or "the best thing that ever happened to me."

3. Stay focused.

Try to avoid getting off-track or including tangents in your personal statement. Stay focused by writing a first draft and then re-reading what you've written. Does every paragraph flow from one point to the next? Are the ideas you're presenting cohesive?

4. Stick to topics that aren't controversial.

It's best not to discuss political beliefs or inappropriate topics in your essay. These can be controversial; ideally, you want to share something goals- or values-driven with an admissions committee.

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A stellar personal statement starts with stellar writing skills. Enhance your writing ability with a writing course from a top university, like Good with Words: Writing and Editing from the University of Michigan or Writing a Personal Essay from Wesleyan University. Get started for free to level up your writing.

Article sources

1. Common App. " 2022-2023 Common App Essay Prompts , https://www.commonapp.org/blog/2022-2023-common-app-essay-prompts." Accessed January 9, 2024.

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How to write an excellent personal statement in 10 steps

Stand out from the crowd: here's how to write a good personal statement that will get you noticed

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Your personal statement forms a core part of your university application, and the sooner you get going, the better you can make it. You may think that your personal statement won’t matter as much to unis as your grades and experience but a great personal statement could make all the difference between you and a candidate with the same grades. Sure, your application might not reach that deal breaker stage. But is it something you want to leave to chance?  Here we’ll take you through the process of planning, writing and checking a good personal statement, so you end up with something you can submit with confidence. And to make sure the advice we're giving you is sound, we’ve spoken to admissions staff at loads of UK universities to get their view. Look out for video interviews and advice on applying for specific subjects throughout this piece or watch our personal statement playlist on YouTube .

• Are you looking for personal statement examples? Check our library of hundreds of real personal statements, on The Student Room

Personal statement deadlines

You'll need to make sure you've got your personal statement written well in advance of your application deadline. Below are the main university application deadline dates for 2024 entry.

2024 entry deadlines

16 October 2023: Deadline for applications to Oxford and Cambridge universities, along with most medicine, dentistry, and veterinary courses.   31 January 2024: Deadline for applications to the majority of undergraduate courses. After this date, universities will start allocating places on these courses –   but you can still apply after the 31 January deadline , as this article explains . 30 June 2024:  Students who apply after this date will be entered into Clearing .

• Read more: Ucas deadlines and key application dates

What is a personal statement?

A personal statement is a central part of your Ucas application, where you explain why you’ve chosen a particular course and why you’ll be good at it. It's your chance to stand out against other candidates and hopefully get that all-important offer. You only write one personal statement which is then read by each university you apply to, so if you are applying for more than one subject (or it's a combined course) it's crucial that you include common themes or reference the overall skills needed for all subjects. Personal statements are especially important if you’re trying to get on a very competitive course, where you need to do anything you can to stand out to admissions tutors. Courteney Sheppard, senior customer experience manager at Ucas, advises that your personal statement is "the only part of the application that you have direct control over. Do lots of research to demonstrate your passion, curiosity and drive to pursue your chosen subject." There’s a limit on how much you can write: your personal statement can be up to 4,000 characters (including spaces) or 47 lines of 95 characters (including spaces); whichever is shorter. This may appear generous (read: long) but once you've got going you may find yourself having to edit heavily.

• Read more: teacher secrets for writing a great personal statement

1. Plan what you want to cover

The first thing you need to do is make a plan. Writing a personal statement off the top of your head is difficult. Start by making some notes, answering the following questions:

• What do you want to study?
• Why do you want to study it?
• What is there about you that shows you’re suited to studying this subject at university? Think about your personality, as well as your experiences.
• What are your other interests and skills?

These few points are going to form the spine of your personal statement, so write them in a way that makes sense to you. You might want to make a simple bulleted list or you might want to get all arty and use a mindmap. Whatever you choose, your aim is the same. You want to get it clear in your own head why a university should offer you a place on its course. Getting those details down isn't always easy, and some people find it helpful to make notes over time. You might try carrying a notebook with you or set up a memo on your phone. Whenever you think of something useful for your personal statement, jot it down. Inspiration sometimes comes more easily when you’re thinking about something else entirely. It might help to take a look at The Student Room for some sample personal statements by university and sample personal statements by subjects , to give you an idea of the kind of thing you want to include. 

• Read more: personal statement FAQs

2. Show off your experience

Some things are worth adding to your personal statement, some things are not. Firmly in the second camp are your qualifications. You don’t need to mention these as there’s a whole other section of your personal statement where you get to detail them very precisely. Don’t waste a single character going on about how great your GCSE grades are – it’s not what the admissions tutor wants to read. What they do want to see is: what have you done? OK, so you’ve got some good grades, but so do a lot of other applicants. What have you done that’s different, that shows you off as someone who really loves the subject you’re applying for? Spend some time thinking about all the experience you have in that subject. If you’re lucky, this might be direct work experience. That’s going to be particularly appropriate if you’re applying for one of the more vocational subjects such as medicine or journalism . But uni staff realise getting plum work experience placements is easier for some people than others, so cast your net wider when you’re thinking about what you’ve done. How about after-school clubs? Debating societies? Are you running a blog or vlog? What key skills and experience have you picked up elsewhere (eg from hobbies) that could be tied in with your course choice? Remember, you’re looking for experience that shows why you want to study your chosen subject. You’re not just writing an essay about what you're doing in your A-level syllabus. Use this checklist as a guide for what to include:

• Your interest in the course. Why do you want to spend three years studying this subject at university?
• What have you done outside school or college that demonstrates this interest? Think about things like fairs/exhibitions, public lectures or voluntary work that is relevant to your subject.
• Relevant work experience (essential for the likes of medicine, not required for non-vocational courses such as English )
• Skills and qualities required for that career if appropriate (medicine, nursing and law as obvious examples)
• Interest in your current studies – what particular topics have made an impression on you?
• Any other interests/hobbies/experiences you wish to mention that are relevant either to the subject or 'going to uni'. Don't just list your hobbies, you need to be very selective and state clearly what difference doing these things has made to you.
• Plans for a gap year if you’re deferring entry.

Read more: 6 steps you need to take to apply to university

3. Be bold about your achievements

Don't be bashful about your achievements; that’s not going to help you get into uni. It's time to unleash your inner Muhammed Ali and get all “I am the greatest” with your writing. Do keep it focused and accurate. Do keep your language professional. But don’t hide your qualities beneath a layer of false modesty. Your personal statement is a sell – you are selling yourself as a brilliant student and you need to show the reader why that is true. This doesn’t come naturally to everyone, and if you’re finding it difficult to write about how great you are it’s time to enlist some help. Round up a friend or two, a family member, a teacher, whoever and get them to write down your qualities. Getting someone else’s view here can help you get some perspective. Don’t be shy. You are selling your skills, your experience and your enthusiasm – make sure they all leap off the screen with the way you have described them.

• Read more: the ten biggest mistakes when writing your personal statement  

4. How to start your personal statement

Type your personal statement in a cloud-based word processing program, such as Google Docs or Microsoft Word and don’t copy and paste it into Ucas Hub until it’s finished.  One of the benefits of doing it this way is that you can run spell check easily. (Please note, though, that Word adds "curly" quotation marks and other characters (like é or ü) that won't show up on your Ucas form, so do proofread it on Ucas Hub before submitting it to ensure it is how you typed it.)  Another big benefit is that you'll always have a backup of what you've written. If you're being super careful, you could always save your statement in another place as well. Bear in mind that extra spaces (eg adding spaces to the beginnings of paragraphs as indentation) are removed on Ucas. In your first sentence, cut to the chase. Why do you want to do the course? Don’t waste any time rambling on about the daydreams you had when you were five. Just be clear and concise – describe in one line why this course is so important to you. Then, in the rest of your intro, go into more detail in demonstrating your enthusiasm for the course and explaining how you decided this is what you want to do for the next three or more years. However you choose to start your statement, just avoid the following hoary old chestnuts. These have been some of the most used lines in personal statements over the years – they are beyond cliche, so don’t even think about it.

• From a young age I have (always) been [interested in/fascinated by]…
• For as long as I can remember, I have…
• I am applying for this course because… 
• I have always been interested in… 
• Throughout my life I have always enjoyed… 
• Reflecting on my educational experiences… 
• [Subject] is a very challenging and demanding [career/profession/course]… 
• Academically, I have always been… 
• I have always wanted to pursue a career in… 
• I have always been passionate about…   

5. Focus your writing on why you've chosen that subject

So you’ve got your intro done – time to nail the rest of it. Bear in mind that you’ve got to be a little bit careful when following a personal statement template. It’s easy to fall into the trap of copying someone else’s style, and in the process lose all of your own voice and personality from your writing. But there is a rough order that you can follow, which should help keep you in your flow. After your opening paragraph or two, get into any work experience (if you’ve got it). Talk about extracurriculars: anything you've done which is relevant to the subject can go here – hobbies, interests, volunteering. Touch on your career aspirations – where do you want this course to take you? Next, show your enthusiasm for your current studies. Cite some specific examples of current work that you enjoyed. Show off your relevant skills and qualities by explaining how you’ve used these in the past. Make sure you’re giving real-world examples here, not just vague assertions like “I’m really organised and motivated”. Try to use examples that are relevant.   Follow this up with something about you as a person. Talk about non-academic stuff that you like to do, but link it in some way with the course, or with how it shows your maturity for dealing with uni life. Round it all off by bringing your main points together, including a final emphasis of your commitment to studying this particular course.

• Read more: how to write your personal statement in an evening  

6. How long should a personal statement be?

You've got to work to a very specific limit when writing your personal statement. In theory you could use up to 4,000 characters – but you’re probably more likely to be limited by the line count. That's because it's a good idea to put line breaks in between your paragraphs (to make it more readable) and you only get a maximum of 47 lines. With this in mind, 3,500 characters is a more realistic limit. But when you’re getting started you should ignore these limits completely. At first, you just want to get down everything that you feel is important. You'll probably end up with something that is far too long, but that's fine. This is where you get to do some polishing and pruning. Keep the focus of your piece on the course you’re applying for, why you want to do it and why you’re perfectly suited to it. Look through what you’ve written so far – have you got the balance right? Chop out anything that goes on a bit, as you want each point to be snappy and succinct.

• Read more: universities reveal all about personal statements  

7. Keep it simple

8. Smart ways to end your personal statement

Writing a closing line that you’re happy with can feel as tricky as coming up with your opener. What you’re looking for here is a sign-off that is bold and memorable. The final couple of sentences in your statement give you the opportunity to emphasise all the good stuff you’ve already covered. Use this space to leave the reader in no doubt as to what an excellent addition you would be to their university. Pull together all your key points and – most importantly – address the central question that your personal statement should answer: why should you get a place on the course?

• Read more: universities explain how to end your personal statement with a bang  

9. Make sure your personal statement has no mistakes

Now you’ve got a personal statement you’re happy with, you need to make sure there are no mistakes. Check it, check it a second time, then check it again. Once you’ve done that, get someone else to check it, too. You will be doing yourself a massive disservice if you send through a personal statement with spelling and/or grammatical errors. You’ve got months to put this together so there really is no excuse for sending through something that looks like a rush job. Ask your teachers to look at it, and be prepared to accept their feedback without getting defensive. They will have seen many personal statements before; use what they tell you to make yours even better. You’ve also got another chance here to look through the content of your personal statement, so you can make sure the balance is right. Make sure your focus is very clearly on the subject you are applying for and why you want to study it. Don’t post your personal statement on the internet or social media where anyone can see it. You will get picked up by the Ucas plagiarism checker. Similarly, don't copy any that you find online. Instead, now is a good time to make your parents feel useful. Read your personal statement out to them and get them to give you feedback. Or try printing it out and mixing it up with a few others (you can find sample personal statements on The Student Room). Get them to read them all and then try to pick yours out. If they can't, perhaps there's not enough of your personality in there.  

10. Don't think about your personal statement for a whole week

If you followed the advice at the very start of this guide, you’ve started your personal statement early. Good job! There are months before you need to submit it. Use one of these weeks to forget about your personal statement completely. Get on with other things – anything you like. Just don’t go near your statement. Give it a whole week and then open up the document again and read through it with fresh eyes. You’ll gain a whole new perspective on what you’ve written and will be well placed to make more changes, if needed.

• Read more: how to write your personal statement when you have nothing interesting to say  

10 steps to your ideal personal statement

In summary, here are the ten steps you should follow to create the perfect personal statement.  

Personal statement dos and don'ts

• Remember that your personal statement is your personal statement, not an article written about your intended field of study. It should tell the reader about you, not about the subject.
• Only put in things that you’re prepared to talk about at the interviews.
• Give convincing reasons for why you want to study the course – more than just "enjoying the subject" (this should be a given).
• For very competitive courses, find out as much as you can about the nature of the course and try to make your personal statement relevant to this.
• Be reflective. If you make a point like 'I like reading', 'I travelled abroad', say what you got from it.
• Go through the whole thing checking your grammar and your spelling. Do this at least twice. It doesn’t matter if you’re not applying to an essay-based course – a personal statement riddled with spelling mistakes is just going to irritate the reader, which is the last thing you want to do. If this is something you find difficult then have someone look over it for you.
• Leave blank lines between your paragraphs. It’s easier for the reader to get through your personal statement when it’s broken into easily digestible chunks. Remember that they’re going to be reading a lot of these! Make yours easy to get through.
• Get someone else's opinion on your statement. Read it out to family or friends. Share it with your teacher. Look for feedback wherever you can find it, then act upon it.
• Don’t write it like a letter. Kicking off with a greeting such as "Dear Sir/Madam" not only looks weird, it also wastes precious space.
• Don’t make jokes. This is simply not the time – save them for your first night in the union.
• Don’t criticise your current school or college or try to blame teachers for any disappointing grades you might have got.
• Be afraid of details – if you want your PS to be personal to you that means explaining exactly which bits of work or topics or activities you've taken part in/enjoyed. It's much more compelling to read about one or two detailed examples than a paragraph that brushes over five or six.
• Just list what you're doing now. You should pull out the experiences that are relevant to the courses which you're applying to.
• Mention skills and activities without giving examples of when they have been demonstrated by you or what you learnt from them. Anyone can write "I have great leadership skills" in a PS, actually using a sentence to explain when you demonstrated good leadership skills is much rarer and more valuable.
• Refer to experiences that took place before your GCSEs (or equivalent).
• Give explanations about medical or mental health problems. These should be explained in your reference, not your PS.
• Apply for too many different courses, making it difficult to write a convincing personal statement which supports the application.
• Write a statement specific to just one institution, unless you're only applying to that one choice.
• Copy and paste the statement from somewhere else! This means do not plagiarise. All statements are automatically checked for plagiarism by Ucas. Those that are highlighted by the computer system are checked manually by Ucas staff. If you’re found to have plagiarised parts of your statement, the universities you apply to will be informed and it could jeopardise your applications.
• Use ChatGPT or another AI program to write your personal statement for you. Or, if you do, make sure you thoroughly edit and personalise the text so it's truly yours. Otherwise you're very much at risk of the plagiarism point above.

You may want to look at these...

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A question-based personal statement will be required as part of university applications from autumn 2025 onwards

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Alan Bullock Careers

Independent careers adviser and writer, ucas personal statements: writing a killer opening.

This is a tweaked version of an article I originally wrote for the former ‘Which? University’ website. Large extracts from it can currently be found on the UCAS site. It might be useful for students who need inspiration to start their personal statement or for parents, teachers or advisers who are trying to help them put pen to paper.

Are you getting frustrated because you can’t think of a good way to open your personal statement? Or, worse still, are you struggling to write anything at all because you just don’t know where to start? If so, you’re not alone – and my advice is to stop worrying.

I picked up numerous tips on this from admissions tutors up and down the country, albeit a few years ago, and they all tended to take a similar line, which was …. don’t get stressed about trying to think up a killer opening!

Yes, it’s important to ‘sell yourself’, but don’t overdo it. In fact, one of the dangers of trying to come up with a killer opening is that what you often end up with is overkill. As one admissions tutor said: “Be succinct and draw the reader in, but not with a gimmick. This isn’t ‘The Apprentice’”.

Even some Oxbridge admissions tutors mentioned this. They emphasised the need for candidates to engage the reader with a punchy start, but not to fall into “the dreaded overly-dramatic X Factor style” of opening. They want to be engaged by your relevant perceptions or ideas, not by something flashy.

Here are some more admissions tutor comments and I hope they might help relieve some stress and give you a starting point:

• Don’t waste time trying to think of a catchy opening. It’s often a complete turn-off.
• Your interest in the course is the biggest thing. Start with why you chose it.
• The best personal statements get to the point quickly.
• Start with a short sentence that captures the reason why you are interested in studying on the programme you are applying for and that communicates your enthusiasm for it.
• Go straight in. Why are you excited about studying this course?
• The opening is your chance to introduce yourself, to explain your motivation for studying the course and to demonstrate your understanding of it.
• It’s your enthusiasm for the course we want to know about. Start with that.
• Write what comes naturally.
• ‘What you want to study and why’ should be in the first two sentences. What excites you about the course and why do you want to learn about it more?
• Be specific from line one.
• Talk about you and your enthusiasm for the subject from the very start.
• In your opening paragraph you need to show that you know what you are applying for. Don’t waffle or say you want to study something just because it’s interesting. Explain what it is that you find interesting about it.
• It’s much better to engage us with something interesting, relevant, specific and current in your opening line, not ‘from a young age’ or ‘I have always wanted to’. Start with what’s inspiring you now, not what inspired you when you were six.

And the following three comments from admissions tutors suggest you shouldn’t even begin at the start… :

• I think the opening line is the hardest one to write, so I often say leave it until last and just try and get something down on paper.
• Don’t spend too long on the introduction. Concentrate on the main content of your statement and write the introduction last.
• I often advise applicants to start with paragraph two, where you get into why you want to study the course. That’s what we’re really interested in.

The general theme here is that the best statements tend to be those that are genuine and specific from the very start. So you won’t go far wrong if you begin by explaining or reflecting on your enthusiasm for the course, your understanding of it or what you want to achieve from it.

However, do try to avoid the most obvious opening sentences. UCAS once published a list of the most common opening lines in personal statements and urged applicants to avoid using ‘hackneyed’ phrases. The top five were:

• From a young age….
• For as long as I can remember…
• I am applying for this course because….
• I have always been interested in….
• Throughout my life I have always enjoyed….

And at number eleven was a Nelson Mandela quote … which brings me to one last piece of advice.

In a very popular article I once wrote for ‘Which?’ called ’10 things not to put in your personal statement’ , quotations were top of the list of admissions tutors’ pet hates. They especially tend to dislike it if you put a quotation in right at the start – and it’s even worse if you don’t actually explain why it’s there.  

So remember, in the opening line of your statement they don’t want to know what Nelson Mandela thought, they want to know what you think.  

One last thought. A technique that can be quite effective is the ‘necklace approach’. This is when you make a link between your opening sentence and your closing sentence, whilst also adding an extra dimension to what you said at the start. For example, if you started with an interesting line about what is currently motivating you to study your chosen degree course, you could link back to it in your closing paragraph by briefly elaborating on something specific about the subject that you’re excited about exploring in more depth.

I can still vividly remember the person who first inspired me about the necklace approach. It was a student called Marianne, who used it herself and was accepted by Cambridge to study Law. Interestingly, she now has a very successful career as a Product Owner and Technical Writer. But that’s another story!

©  Alan Bullock, updated 14/6/2021

The photographic image (of Old Harry Rocks on Dorset’s Jurassic Coast) is from my own collection.

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

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How to Write a Killer Opening to Your College Essay

Whether you’re still brainstorming topics for your college essay or personal statement, or completing your final draft, you know your essay needs to stand out from the crowd. You know you need to “get creative,” but it is so hard to know what a college wants to see.

While the school you are applying to also has access to your list of activities and transcript, your essay is their only chance to get to know your personality. Your personality and life experiences matter to your future college because they are a good indicator of whether you would be a good fit on their campus. Colleges ask for a “personal” statement for a reason.

The introduction paragraph of your essay sets the tone for the rest of the essay. So while the topic of your essay or personal statement needs to show depth and provide insight into the person behind the application, the introduction lays the blueprints for the reader on what to expect. So, get creative (we’ll explain what that really means!), skip the cheese, and write from the heart.

Make Creativity the Key

Your opening line should show creativity, but without being cheesy. Something like: “Laughter, much like time, can heal most wounds…” or, “The stage lights flooded my senses, blocking out my vision and the laughter of the crowd before me…” instantly makes the reader want to read further and see where this essay will take you. The reader immediately has questions. Is the author sick? Will the rest of the essay be funny or sad? This particular essay was written by a pre-med hopeful who enjoyed writing stand-up comedy on the side. Her essay shared information about her future career plans, while also inviting admissions professionals to catch a glimpse of her personal life outside the classroom, allowing them to feel like they know her well after reading her essay. If this same student had begun her essay with, “Life is like a box of chocolates,” to indicate her unique interests, the tone would be set with a trite, less authentic opening.

Create an Air of Mystery

Have you ever been so invested in a book that you secretly read the last page? It’s human nature to be attracted to a bit of drama. Riveting, mysterious opening lines keep the reader alert throughout the rest of your essay, as they try to anticipate the curve balls your essay may throw. Don’t be afraid to leave readers hanging for a moment with your first scene, as long as you provide the answers in a timely manner. Here are some examples:

“My hands shook as I realized my mistake.” This essay describes a student who makes a mistake in a laboratory that leads him to a new discovery. By beginning with this story, he is able to talk about his internship in a science lab, as well as end the essay with his experience having his discovery published in a medical journal, hitting two major points on his resume.

“The texture of yarn beneath my fingers reminded me of childhood stuffed animals.” This essay tells the story of a girl teaching herself to knit to connect with her grandmother, and eventually begins crocheting hats, scarves and toys for homeless and foster children. Readers are invited to know the author personally, in addition to expanding on one of her resume entries.

Paint a Picture

Every article containing advice about the Personal Statement agrees: Don’t tell your reader what you did, show them. Paint a picture for them. After an attention-grabbing opening line that leaves the reader wondering what comes next, the rest of your introduction needs to tell a story.

For example: “I turned to the young boy, pausing as his eyes brimmed with tears of frustration, before explaining my new plan of action to help him understand,” is much better than: “The summer before senior year, I tutored an elementary student in math and learned a lot about myself.”

The more detail you add, the more invested the reader will become. Remember, the college is admitting YOU, not just your resume.

Act Natural

A great beginning exercise is to make an outline with the essay prompts, whether these are the Common Application essay choices or the prompts found on the college’s admissions page. Try to answer each essay prompt with three essay topics. Start writing, and see which one flows the best and resonates with your creativity. With the right topic, the opening line will sound natural and the rest of the essay will flow easily.

If you are truly struggling with the voice or organization of your essay, try reading sample essays. While you are reading these essays, write down opening lines and sentences you feel are truly effective or clever. With a page of these inspiring sentences in front of you, try to rewrite your essay using these techniques and try a variety of opening lines.

Take the Bird’s Eye View

Take it from someone (me!) who sat in one of those admissions seats: It is truly essential that your essay be memorable, beginning with the opening line.

I remember the lengthy days of reading admissions files, often reviewing dozens of essays each day. Most of them sounded like copies of one another. Others I still remember to this day, despite reading at least a dozen essays before them that day. Read your opening line and full essay through the eyes of a potential admissions official who has read 20 essays before yours. Does your essay still stand out? Would it catch your attention at the end of a long day of reading essays?

If you can answer yes to these questions, you’re headed in the right direction.

Author: Michaela Schieffer

Michaela Schieffer is a former admissions counselor and now independent college counselor, guiding students through their college applications and essays through MoonPrep.com . Moon Prep's specialty lies in the Ivy League, direct medical programs (BS/MD), and highly competitive universities.

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Crafting a Compelling Opening for Your Personal Statement

Your personal statement is your chance to showcase your skills, knowledge, and experience to the admissions team, and to convince them that you are the right candidate for their course.

Your personal statement is one of the most important parts of your university application. It is your chance to showcase your skills, knowledge, and experience to the admissions team, and to convince them that you are the right candidate for their course.

To make the most of this opportunity, you need to craft an opening sentence that will immediately capture the reader's attention and make them want to read on. Here are some additional tips to help you create a compelling opening for your personal statement:

Start with a personal story: One way to make your personal statement stand out is to begin with a personal story that is relevant to the course. This could be an experience you had that inspired your interest in the subject, or a challenge you overcame that demonstrates your resilience and determination.

Use a relevant quote: A well-chosen quote can add depth and insight to your personal statement, and show that you have a good understanding of the subject matter. Make sure the quote is relevant to the course and supports the points you want to make.

Ask a thought-provoking question: A question that challenges the reader's assumptions or invites them to consider an issue in a new way can be an effective way to open your personal statement. Just make sure the question is relevant to the course and leads into the points you want to make.

Avoid clichés and overused phrases: While it's important to be creative and engaging in your opening sentence, it's equally important to avoid tired clichés and overused phrases. This includes things like "ever since I was a child" or "I have always been interested in". Instead, focus on finding a unique and authentic way to express your passion for the subject.

Keep it concise: Finally, remember that your opening sentence is just the beginning of your personal statement. You don't need to cover everything in this one sentence – instead, focus on creating a concise, compelling hook that will draw the reader in and make them want to read more.

Examples of open statements for Law, Psychology, and Nursing Programs

A personal statement is an essential part of any application to a law, psychology, or nursing program. It allows applicants to showcase their passion for the subject, demonstrate their unique qualities, and explain why they are a strong candidate for the program. Crafting an effective personal statement can be challenging, but starting with a strong opening sentence is a great way to capture the reader's attention and make a lasting impression.

Here are examples of compelling opening statements for law, psychology, and nursing programs that are sure to make a personal statement stand out .

Law Program:

As a child, I always knew that I wanted to pursue a career that allowed me to make a positive impact in people's lives. After years of exploring various career options, I found my calling in law. The law's ability to effectuate change and promote justice has always fascinated me, and I am eager to use my skills and knowledge to make a meaningful difference. I believe that my passion for advocacy, coupled with my strong analytical and critical thinking skills, make me an ideal candidate for a law program.

Psychology Program:

The human mind has always intrigued me, and I have long been fascinated by the ways in which our thoughts and behaviors influence our lives. As I reflect on my own experiences, I realize that I have a deep desire to understand human behavior on a deeper level. Pursuing a degree in psychology is my chance to gain the knowledge and tools needed to make a real difference in people's lives. I am excited to learn about the latest research and techniques in the field and to use them to help individuals and communities overcome challenges and thrive.

Nursing Program:

Growing up, I have always been drawn to helping others. As I got older, my interest in healthcare grew, and I became convinced that pursuing a career in nursing would allow me to make a tangible difference in people's lives. I have always been inspired by the dedication and compassion that nurses bring to their work, and I am excited to join their ranks. I believe that my strong communication skills, empathy, and ability to work well under pressure make me an excellent candidate for a nursing program. I am eager to learn everything I can about the human body and to gain the practical skills necessary to provide the highest level of care to my patients.

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Personal statement examples by subject: complete list

Take a look at how other students have written their personal statements

When you're writing your university personal statement, a little inspiration can be handy.

On The Student Room, we have hundreds of real personal statements written by students when they applied for university in previous years.

You'll find all of these listed below, in order of subject. 

For more help with writing your personal statement, our personal statement section  is a good place to go. You can also find tips and discussion in the personal statement advice forum .

If you've already been to university, you can  add your own personal statement to the library  to help others.

And don't forget our sister site The Uni Guide , which has expert advice on getting your personal statement sorted.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Grad Life Grind and welcome to this series on personal statements. My name is Arielle, I'm a PhD student in clinical psychology and I know exactly how you feel about your personal statement. I've been there, it's stressful and it's overwhelming and that's why I'm sharing my tips for how to write a good statement. In this video I want to talk about some of the things that you want to think about in order to make your narrative flow nicely for your personal statement. The reason why you want it to flow nicely is because you should think of your personal statement as a story. You don't want to just list off things about yourself or have choppy experiences about you in each paragraph. You want it to kind of come together really nicely by the end so that it really wraps about around the reader's impression of you. So some of the things that you can think about before you even start writing are what are some of the threads that I want to run through this? What are some of the values that I want to make sure I'm conveying throughout this statement? So if something that's really important to you in your life is activism, then maybe you want to make sure that in every paragraph you're kind of touching on that a little bit and you don't have to be too harsh with these threads. You just have to think about what things do I want to make sure are kind of interwoven throughout my statement because you don't want to have something that you mentioned at the beginning that you kind of open your essay with that you don't come back to in the end. So if you open your statement with a story about this time when you were six and how something terrible happened to you but then you learned something from it, you want to come back to that six-year-old version of you at the end of the statement because as a reader I'm thinking about what drew me into reading this paper. Whatever got me hooked at the beginning in the first paragraph, I want to hear more about that at the end. If you started a story, you want to make sure that you finish it. So thinking about what things you want to make sure are covered throughout. And even if you've already started writing your essay and you're not thinking about the threads or the narrative flow before you started writing, that's fine. You can read through your essay once you're editing and think about, does this flow nicely? Am I touching on things throughout and not just in one or two places? And maybe not everything is something that you want to come back to. There are some things that only deserve a sentence or two and that's fine, but some of the big ideas that you want to convey are things that definitely need to run through the entire paper. So think about that when you're writing or editing your personal statement and if you want more tips then you can move on in this series. And if you're completely confused about what a personal statement is, why it's important, and what you can do to get started, you should go back and watch the first few videos in this series because all of it is laid out for you. I hope that you'll continue watching more of my videos and also subscribe to my channel for more information about grad school, what it's like applying to grad school, and my own experience working in the mental health field. Thanks.

PERSONAL STATEMENT RESOURCES

THE PERSONAL STATEMENT

Learn how to write your personal statement for the Common Application using our pay-what-you-can comprehensive online courses, blog posts, podcast episodes, and more.

Online Courses and guides:

The Free Guide to Writing the Personal Statement

Kick things off with the two greatest brainstorming exercises ever, learn about options for structuring a personal statement + example outlines, check out some amazing example personal statements, and get on your way to writing your own killer personal statement for university applications.

How to Write a personal statement

A comprehensive video course for students.

A seven-part online course designed to gives students and counselors everything they need to figure out (or help someone else figure out) how to write a personal statement for the Common App. Watch the Q&A sessions after each session where I answer important questions about the personal statement-writing process and give feedback on essays to real high school seniors and junior like you. (Pay-What-You-Can spots available - see page for more details)

Resources From the CEG blog:

100 Brave and interesting questions

100 deep questions to ask yourself, your writing partner, or anyone really. What’s the toughest decision you made today? What’s the toughest decision you made this year? What’s the toughest decision you ever made? What have you forgotten? And 96 more...

4 Qualities of an Amazing College Essay

I wasn't expecting that. I couldn't believe the ending. I feel like this person is just like me.   This article offers four clear elements of an amazing personal statement for college by showing how two real sample personal statements express them.

The Great College Essay Test

Here’s my test for what makes a (not good, but) great college essay. Learn the four components that I look for in each and every college essay and how to add them to your own.

35+ Best College Essay Tips from College Application Experts

We reached out to some of my favorite college admissions experts—some current and former admissions officers—and asked one question: WHAT’S your favorite piece of advice about writing a college essay?

How To Start a College Essay: 9 Surefire Techniques

In anything you do, there’s a very special and pivotal moment when you Do The Darn Thing (DTDT for short). It’s when you get off the couch, stop binging Netflix, and take action.

How to Make Your Personal Statement Introduction Attention-Grabbing

Personal statements that start with intrigue are about a million times more likely to get read.

How to End a College Essay

Providing insight into your thesis by answering “Why is my thesis important?” can be the difference between a so-so essay and a "yay" essay. After years of hearing my students ask, “How do I do that?” I came up with four ways to write a strong college essay conclusion.

How To Write About Yourself: Great Tips For Personal Writing That Won't Sound Awkward

To help you hone your writing chops and prepare for your personal essay, here are four of the best ways to learn how to write about yourself.

How To Sound Smart In Your Personal Statement

Discover 3 ways to sound intelligent in your personal statement (even though that shouldn’t be your primary focus!).

How to Brag in Your College Essay (Without Sounding Annoying)

A personal statement is all about you. So how do you write about your accomplishments without sounding like you’re bragging? Spoiler: it’s all about the values.

How to Add More Vulnerability To Your Personal Statement

Vulnerability is at the heart of what I do. And it’s at the heart of a great college essay. What is vulnerability, and how do you use it to tell a great story?

Should I Come Out in My Personal Statement? (And If So, How)?

Broaching a sensitive topic in your college essay requires finesse. I’ve consulted dozens of experts to find out the best way to come out in your college essay (spoiler: there are many ways).

Sample Essays

PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLES

Twelve College Essay Examples That Worked

Personal Statement Examples From Successful College Applications

The Best Common Application Essay Examples 

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Personal Statement Opening Sentence

Fine tuning the opening sentence of your personal statement is a task most students dread, particularly because so much attention is given to the opening sentence as it should catch the reader’s attention.

You’re told that there needs to be a wow factor involved and that your sentence should set the tone and quality of the rest of the personal statement. No pressure, eh?

In fact, writing a strong opening sentence is relevant to more than just university applicants.

You’ll also need a strong opening statement for applying for an apprenticeship or a school leaver scheme so sorry guys, you’re not off the hook.

We’re not going to lie — the opening sentence is pretty important, but it’s also important that the personal statement doesn’t go downhill from there.

Think of your personal statement like a football team — even if you have the best goal scorer in the world, if you have a dodgy defence or mildly-interested midfield, it’s not a great recipe for success.

Overused Opening Sentences

Whatever you do with your opening sentence, make sure you use something different to the most overused statements.

“But how do I know which opening sentences are the most overused?” I hear you cry. Well, we did some research and found an article by UCAS that listed the most overused opening sentences. Here they are:

1. From a young age I have (always) been [interested in/fascinated by]… (used 1,779 times)

2. For as long as I can remember I have… (used 1,451 times)

3. I am applying for this course because… (used 1,370 times)

4. I have always been interested in… (used 927 times)

5. Throughout my life I have always enjoyed… (used 310 times)

6. Reflecting on my educational experiences… (used 257 times)

7. Nursing is a very challenging and demanding [career/profession/course]… (used 211 times)

8. Academically, I have always been… (used 168 times)

9. I have always wanted to pursue a career in… (used 160 times)

10. I have always been passionate about… (used 160 times)

11. Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world… (used 148 times)

The (over)use of the quote from Nelson Mandela about “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world” is particularly cringe worthy — if you’re going to include a quote, make sure it’s more than just a popular quote that you once saw on Instagram. Show that you’ve done some reading around the subject and be prepared to properly explain why you like a particular quote.

Writing Your Opening Sentence

Aside from avoiding overused quotes and words such as ‘passionate’ or ‘deeply fascinated’, we recommend being original and referring to personal experiences as a way to draw attention.

For example, if you were writing a personal statement for a History course, you could open with something like, “Making an evacuation suitcase at the age of nine made me realise for the first time how historical events had affected real people.”

Not only does this draw on personal experience and highlight your knowledge of a certain area of history, it also provides you with an opening to elaborate upon your interest in social history. If you already know what graduate job or scheme you want to pursue after university, then you can further relate your opening anecdote to your future plans.

Don’t sit in front of a blank page for ages and furiously try to come up with the perfect opening sentence. If you’re stuck on your opening sentence, then perhaps try writing it last. After all, writing the rest of your personal statement will allow you to see the finished piece before adding the token opening sentence.

The best opening sentences refer to your experiences, so think hard about what stands out in your memories in regards to your relationship with your chosen subject. Jot them down and then make one of these memories attention grabbing for someone who doesn’t know you.

Opening sentences are tricky, but they don’t make or break a personal statement.

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Dos and don'ts of resume personal statements

A good personal statement can make your resume catch a recruiter's eye. We'll show you how to write a solid personal statement highlighting your unique skills, experiences, and professional goals. Whatever career stage you're in, we've got you covered. Read on to find information on the topic, resume personal statement examples, and helpful tips to help you stand out in the job market.

• What is a personal statement?
• Key elements to include in a personal statement
• Personal statement examples
• Tips on writing a personal statement for your resume
• Formatting and structuring your statement
• Common mistakes when writing a personal statement
• Bottom line

What is a personal statement?  

Think of a personal statement as a quick snapshot of yourself on your resume. It's a brief section that tells employers what kind of employee you are. Sometimes, it's also called resume objectives or CV personal statement.

The personal statement shows your goals and what makes you unique. It can be used to show how your skills, experiences, and job goals make you stand out from other applicants. This can significantly affect how the employer sees you as a potential employee.

It's your chance to add personality, passion, and purpose to your resume. You can make an impression that will make you shine during your job search.

Key elements to include in a personal statement  

To make a great resume summary, remember these important points that help a hiring manager understand who you are professionally:

• Who you are: Start by briefly saying who you are. Give a short but clear summary of your work background.
• Summary of your experiences : Give a brief outline of your career. Focus on crucial turning points, accomplishments, and related experiences. This part overviews your career path and shows how broad or deep your knowledge is.
• Your value as an employee: Explain what makes you special. Talk about the skills, qualities, and experiences that make you different from others applying for the job. Show how your experience matches the company's needs and how you can help them succeed.
• Your career objectives : At the end of your resume objective statement, list your career goals and ambitions. Make your short and long-term career goals clear. This shows that you're committed to professional growth and development.

Personal statement examples  

A good personal statement can be an important part of shaping your career, whether you’re a recent graduate or an experienced professional. Here are some examples of personal statements from different career stages. They show off relevant skills, experiences, and goals of job seekers.

Personal statement examples for students looking for internships

"I am a driven undergraduate student majoring in marketing, seeking internship opportunities to apply classroom knowledge in real-world settings. I have a proven ability to develop client relationships and execute marketing strategies. I am ready to share new thoughts and learn from people with more experience."

"Dedicated undergraduate student studying mechanical engineering, looking for an internship opportunity to apply theoretical knowledge to practical projects. Skilled with CAD tools and has experience making prototypes. Possesses strong critical thinking skills and takes the necessary steps to solve problems. Excellent collaborator who is always looking to learn and improve."

Personal statement example for fresh graduates

"I am a recent finance bachelor's degree holder with a solid grasp of financial principles and robust analytic abilities. I have operated effectively in dynamic settings and provided precise financial analysis. I am seeking an entry-level role in financial analysis to utilise my academic knowledge and contribute to organisational success."

"Highly motivated human resource management graduate who is deeply committed to cultivating positive work environments. Proficient in employee relations, performance management, and recruitment. Seeking an HR position to implement academic knowledge and acquire practical experience."

Personal statement examples for working professionals

"I am an experienced sales manager with more than five years of experience in B2B sales. I am currently looking to resume my professional career. I have a proven history of exceeding sales goals, building strong relationships with clients, and establishing vital client leads. I am looking for a challenging sales manager position where I can use my leadership skills to coach a team of top performers and make the company more profitable."

"I am an accomplished project manager with a background in information technology. I am skilled at coordinating the efforts of diverse teams to complete challenging assignments on schedule and within budget. I have consistently reduced risk and guaranteed project success. I am seeking new opportunities to apply my project management expertise in a dynamic environment."

Personal statement example for workers making mid-career transitions

"Experienced marketer ready to move into digital advertising. Skilled in both digital and conventional marketing tactics, with a particular focus on expanding brands' reach and interaction via online media. Seeks a position to use marketing talents to create modern digital advertising strategies."

"I am a project manager with extensive experience, with a career goal to work in sustainable development. I am passionate about positively affecting society and comfortable in a fast-paced environment. I have expertise at working with stakeholders and planning strategically."

Tips on writing a personal statement for your resume  

Before you start writing your statement, think about the following tips.

Selecting the most impactful experiences to share

Carefully choose which experiences to highlight in your CV personal statement. Consider the following aspects to guarantee that you demonstrate the most effective ones:

• Relevance to job scope: Select experiences and relevant qualifications that directly relate to the needs of your desired role.
• Significance of results: Highlight experiences in which you achieved substantial results. Focus on your efforts and accomplishments.
• Business impact: Show how your work has increased the company's profits. Give numbers to support your results and explain how your work has helped the group succeed or grow.

Demonstrating problem-solving and leadership through past scenarios

In your resume personal statement, use examples from your past to show how you've solved problems and led others .

Try to give an example of your problem and how you solved it. Highlight situations when you were proactive, made tough choices, and helped others succeed.

Demonstrating that you can deal with problems and lead confidently shows you're ready for new tasks in your next job.

Keeping your personal statement concise

Write a short, clear, objective statement to help you hold the reader's attention. Here are some suggestions to help you keep your resume personal statement short:

• Editing: Carefully read over your resume and personal statement. Remove unnecessary details or repeated information, and ensure you only include the most useful and important facts.
• Clarity: Write clearly to make sure your message is easy to understand. Avoid using jargon or academic terms that the reader might not know.
• Length: Personal statements should be short but full of helpful information. There is no rigid word limit but keep your statement to a few brief lines that get to the point of who you are as a professional and what you want to achieve.

Formatting and structuring your statement  

Here are some guidelines for making your objective statement more straightforward and organised.

Formatting tips for maximum readability

The layout of your resume personal statement affects how hiring managers read and interact with your content. To make sure your writing is easy to comprehend, consider the following:

• For a professional appearance, pick a classy font that's simple to read, such as Times New Roman, Arial, or Calibri.
• Keep the font size the same throughout the document. The best range is between 10pt and 12pt.
• When choosing the point of view, think about the tone and setting of your resume personal statement.
• First-person POV allows you to connect with the reader more directly, and third-person POV can present an air of professionalism and objectivity.

Pros and cons of each POV style

Both the first-person and the third-person POVs have pros and cons. A first-person POV makes it feel like the text is directed at the reader, but it can sometimes be too casual. On the other hand, a third-person POV seems objective and professional. This is common in formal settings but can feel impersonal or distant.

The POV you choose affects the way your personal statement reads. First-person POV creates a more personal and conversational tone. The third-person perspective conveys a feeling of formality and objectivity, setting a tone appropriate for formal papers.

Alignment with your overall resume style

Pick a POV for your personal statement that complements your resume's general tone and style. The document should flow from one section to the next. To make a good impression on recruiters, change the POV to fit the role, the company culture, and the business. If you’re applying for a creative role, you can make your resume stand out by matching the creative writing style of your prospective employer.

Resume personal statement in first-person POV

“With a strong background in content marketing, I excel in writing, editing, content planning, and SEO. In my previous roles, I was committed to ensuring my team met deadlines and KPIs. I'm eager to leverage my skills and enthusiasm as Content Manager for the Singapore Creative Ad Agency.”

Resume personal statement in third-person POV

“Has a strong background in content marketing. Excels in writing, editing, content planning, and SEO. In previous roles, demonstrated a commitment to ensuring the team met deadlines and KPIs. Eager to leverage skills and enthusiasm as Content Manager for the Singapore Creative Ad Agency.”

Common mistakes when writing a personal statement  

Avoid common clichés and overused phrases.

Don't include phrases such as "hardworking," "team player," and "results-oriented." They don't say much about you and won't help you stand out from other applicants.

What to leave out of your personal statements

Remove any old or useless information that doesn't fit with your story or add value to your application. For example, if your achievements as a high school student aren’t relevant to your application, don’t include them. Read the job description carefully before adding any information.

Bad personal statement examples

"Motivated individual seeking challenging opportunities to utilise analytical skills and grow within a dynamic organisation."

"Passionate team player with excellent communication skills and a strong work ethic."

"Detail-oriented professional with a proven track record of success in various roles."

These examples are too short and vague. They don’t say anything about you as a person or employee. Make sure your personal statements showcase your unique traits and career path. Show your positive impact in your previous roles, and highlight what benefit your prospective employer can get from hiring you.

Bottom line  

Personal statements can make or break a job application. Using the ideas, examples, and advice in this guide, you can write the best statement that catches the hiring managers interest and connects with them on a deeper level. Remember that your personal statement is more than just a summary of your work history. It's your chance to show potential employers what you can do and how passionate you are about the job.

• What should I write in my statement for a resume? Your statement should briefly summarise your professional attributes. It should cover relevant skills, experiences, and career goals that match the role you're pursuing. ⁠
• Can you provide summary statements and examples for a job application? Yes! Here's an example: "As a seasoned marketing professional with a passion for innovation, I'm excited to leverage my expertise in digital marketing to enhance and energise your dynamic team at XYZ Company. Committed to driving tangible outcomes, I aim to contribute my skills in crafting impactful campaigns and utilising analytics to fuel your organisation's success." ⁠
• How long should a personal statement be on a resume? A few sentences should be enough for a short but powerful statement. They should focus on the most relevant information that fits the job description. ⁠
• What are some dos and don'ts for writing a resume personal statement? Dos: Personalise your statement for the position and company. Highlight your job-related abilities, experiences, and accomplishments. Don'ts: Avoid using clichés or generic phrases. Don't make it too long. ⁠
• How can I make my statement stand out to employers? Make your personal statements special to each role you apply for. Think about your personal profile and the job description. Highlight your unique skills, accomplishments, and goals that match the role's needs. This will help you connect strongly with managers. ⁠
• Are there any online tools to help me craft a personal statement? Yes, tools like Perfect Essay Writer, Paper Help, and BBQ Papers can help you improve and modify your personal statements by giving you language tips and reading-level feedback.

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• How to End a Personal Statement With Impact

Your statement-ending paragraph is your last chance to make an impact, but it's essential to make sure that you summarise your main points and explain why you're qualified and willing to participate in the program with a strong ending. A compelling, realistic conclusion can give your application that extra oomph and show the admissions committee that you're the right choice. Just like writers on deadline, you might trip up on your statement's ending line. Here are some common mistakes to avoid:

• Repeating information already covered without adding new insight
• Introducing new ideas or topics that should have been discussed in the body
• Using clichés or overly sentimental language that doesn't add value
• Ending abruptly without a clear summary of your points
• Overstating your achievements or future aspirations

How to End a Personal Statement Correctly

Ending your personal statement firmly is crucial. If you’re ever struggling with concluding your paper, a personal statement writing service can help. If you're determined to master conclusion writing, though, here's a simple, straightforward guide to crafting a compelling conclusion.

1. Reflect on Your Opening. Go back to your introduction . A good ending will often have an echo of the opening, which sits rather like a bookend to your statement. Don’t repeat your statements word-for-word, but perhaps offer a recap of the theme you developed or the little anecdote on which you started.

2. Summarise Key Points. Most guides for how to write a conclusion for a personal statement suggest that, at a minimum, students should briefly summarise the major themes they’ve discussed. Don’t simply recite facts; instead, create a sense of closure, revealing to the reader how your experiences and goals interrelate logically, culminating in your desire to join the program.

3. Connect to Your Future. Tie your story back to the opportunity at hand. Explain how the program will be important in helping you to reach your career or academic goals. Illustrate your plans to achieve these goals and make it clear that this program is included in your plan.

4. End with a Strong Closing Sentence. When concluding a personal statement, finish with a sentence that packs a punch. Show where you are headed next. It may be your word choice, your vow of commitment to the topic, or your powerful statement of passion and readiness to work in your chosen field. In any event, make it consistent with the tone and emphasis of your essay, and make it say what you need it to say about you.

5. Keep It Simple and Authentic. Resist the urge to drown readers in big words or have grandiose claims. The conclusion should sound sincere and genuine. Don’t make it too fancy or out of reach. Every sentence should add to the main point. Nothing should wander off.

Examples of Good and Bad Personal Statement Conclusions

Finishing up your personal statement can be a make-or-break moment in your application. It's your opportunity to stand out. That is why finding a good personal statement conclusion example can be helpful. Alternatively, you can consult an online writing service for some extra tips. Below, we'll look at five examples of some good and bad ways to conclude a personal statement.

It’s A Wrap!

As you finish your personal statement, remember that the conclusion should help tie up your argument. Our tips on how to write a personal statement will come in handy. Having read this article, you should know how to conclude a personal statement easily. Use the tips we’ve shared to craft an ending that shows off your suitability for the program. Make sure that your closing remarks remain genuine and clear-headed. This will give the admission committee a confident and positive impression of you and a sense that they know what you want to achieve.

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Vision vs mission statement – what’s the difference? A definitive guide + 20 examples

Anthony Esposito Senior Account Manager at PandaDoc

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Despite being used interchangeably, mission statements and vision statements are two distinct types of brand messages that serve different purposes.

So, we’re here to clear up the vision vs mission statement debate and explore their differences. Plus, we’ll help you write your own.

Key takeaways

• Mission statements describe your company’s current purpose and goals.
• Vision statements outline your company’s future goals and aspirations.
• A powerful mission statement sets out what your company does and why.
• Aligning your core values and culture with long-term goals can help you create an inspirational vision statement.

Mission statement vs vision statement: what’s the difference?

Mission statements define what your company is doing right now to achieve its goals, while vision statements define what your company’s ultimate goal is.

So, you could say that your mission statement is the blueprint for how you’re going to achieve your company’s vision statement.

So, to sum up, here’s a table showing the main differences between mission and vision statements:

What is a mission statement?

A mission statement is a short, simple statement that communicates what your business’s purpose is.

In one or two sentences, it aims to tell readers three fundamental things about your company: what it does, who it serves, and why.

Mission statements are always written in the present tense and describe the current goals and priorities of your company.

Most mission statements begin with “to…” or some variation of “we strive to…”.

You can also create department-focused mission statements.

A sales mission statement , for example, defines the purposes, values, and goals of your sales departments.

These three things are primarily what makes a good mission statement.

What is the purpose of a mission statement?

A good mission statement helps employees, leadership, and target audiences understand the main purpose and key objectives of your company.

For customers, it serves to distinguish you from the competition and communicate the values that, hopefully, resonate with your audience.

And for employees and leadership, mission statements unite everyone involved on a focused, foundational purpose.

This is particularly important in departments like sales, where competitiveness can sabotage sales collaboration . With a strong mission statement, you can unite sales teams, helping them to focus their strategies and decision-making to meet shared goals.

What is a vision statement?

A vision statement defines the aspirational goals of your company — in other words, your vision for the future.

It focuses on the large-scale impact you hope to have on the world and communicates your brand’s long-term goals.

They tend to be highly ambitious — for example, Microsoft’s old vision statement was “A computer on every desk and in every home.”

If you’re unsure how to formulate a vision, keep reading because we cover that later in this guide.

What is the purpose of a vision statement?

Vision statements are designed to inspire and motivate employees.

Boldly aspirational, they act as your company’s guiding star, leading everyone toward shared, big-picture dreams and objectives.

A powerful vision statement can unite employees and leaders, drive company strategies, and secure stakeholder confidence.

So, to sum up the vision statement vs mission statement debate, mission statements are focused on current goals , whereas vision statements are focused on future goals .

20 mission statement vs vision statement examples

To truly understand the difference between mission and vision statements, we’ve collected 20 examples of statements that get the message across.

Let’s begin with ten mission statement examples:

• Starbucks: “To inspire and nurture the human spirit — one person, one cup, and one neighborhood at a time.”
• Google: “To organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful.”
• Coca-Cola: “To refresh the world and make a difference.”
• Tesla: “To accelerate the world’s transition to sustainable energy.”
• JetBlue: “To inspire humanity — both in the air and on the ground.”
• IKEA: “To offer a wide range of well-designed, functional home furnishing products at prices so low that as many people as possible will be able to afford them.”
• Disney: “To entertain, inform, and inspire people around the globe through the power of unparalleled storytelling.”
• Slack: “Make people’s working lives simpler, more pleasant, and more productive.”
• Lego: “To inspire and develop the builders of tomorrow.”
• American Red Cross: “To prevent and alleviate human suffering in the face of emergencies by mobilizing the power of volunteers and the generosity of donors.”

Now for some vision statement examples:

• Starbucks: “To establish Starbucks as the premier purveyor of the finest coffee in the world while maintaining our uncompromising principles while we grow.”
• IKEA: “To create a better everyday life for the many people.”
• Amazon: “To be Earth’s most customer-centric company, where customers can find and discover anything they might want to buy online and endeavors to offer its customers the lowest possible prices.”
• Pepsi: “Be the global leader in convenient foods and beverages by winning with purpose.”
• Lego: “To be a global force for learning through play.”
• LinkedIn : “Create economic opportunity for every member of the global workforce.”
• Southwest: “To be the world’s most loved, most efficient, and most profitable airline.”
• McDonald’s: “To move with velocity to drive profitable growth and become an even better McDonald’s serving more customers delicious food each day around the world.”
• Samsung: “Inspire the world with our innovative technologies, products, and design that enrich people’s lives and contribute to social prosperity by creating a new future.”
• Tesla: “To create the most compelling car company of the 21st century by driving the world’s transition to electric vehicles.”

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Mission and vision statements define and guide your company’s core initiatives and priorities.

Mission statements clarify the purpose and primary objectives of your company, while vision statements describe your future goals.

Both statements unite and motivate your employees, reassure stakeholders, and resonate with your customers.

On a sales level, a strong mission statement provides focus and direction for sales reps, improving sales quotas .

What else can you do to achieve those goals? Once you’ve crafted powerful mission and vision statements, consider using a document workflow automation solution like PandaDoc for Sales.

With PandaDoc, your teams can:

• Automate proposals to improve their workflows
• Create personalized sales documents using a drag-and-drop editor
• Access real-time reporting and notifications

PandaDoc for Sales motivates employees to succeed, enabling them to deliver better client experiences. Why not check it out today?

PandaDoc is not a law firm, or a substitute for an attorney or law firm. This page is not intended to and does not provide legal advice. Should you have legal questions on the validity of e-signatures or digital signatures and the enforceability thereof, please consult with an attorney or law firm. Use of PandaDoc services are governed by our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.

Frequently asked question

Which comes first, vision or mission.

While there’s no hard and fast rule for which one to define first, brands tend to begin with their mission statement. Your business’s purpose — i.e., why your company exists — should be at the core of your brand’s messages. So, starting with your mission statement and using it to guide your wider vision makes sense.

What are the three parts of a mission statement?

A good mission statement focuses on purpose, values, and goals.

Purpose: Why does your company exist? How does this relate to the product or service you offer?

Values: What foundational values does your company stand for? Affordability? Sustainability? Innovation? How does your brand differ from your competitors?

Goals: What are the immediate objectives of your company? What impact do you want to have on your customers?

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• Resume Examples

Student Teacher Resume: Examples & Full Writing Guide

With so many requirements to fulfill, I respect your choice to become a teacher. Getting a degree is difficult enough—but you also need to complete a student teaching program. These can feel like a breeze or a landmine, depending on the school and the cooperating teachers you work with. An impressive student teacher resume has the power to get you the best placements in your area, and I’ll explain how to craft one.

Top Insights:

• Soft skills are essential on a student teacher resume.
• Your strengths must appear on the top half of your resume for student teaching jobs.
• Our expert Mariusz advises using classic, simple fonts to make your student teaching resume easy to read.

Save hours of work and get a job-winning resume like this. Try our resume builder with 20+ resume templates and create your resume now.

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What users say about ResumeLab:

I had an interview yesterday and the first thing they said on the phone was: “Wow! I love your resume.” Patrick I love the variety of templates. Good job guys, keep up the good work! Dylan  My previous resume was really weak and I used to spend hours adjusting it in Word. Now, I can introduce any changes within minutes. Absolutely wonderful! George

Student Teaching Resume Example for Experienced Applicants

Tamara Gonzalez

K–8 Student Teacher

(111) 222–3333

[email protected]

linkedin.com/in/tamara.gonzalez

Career Objective

Dedicated and enthusiastic K–8 student teacher with a strong foundation in collaborative teaching, classroom management, and lesson planning. Seeking to leverage experience in multicultural instruction and ESE to help students at Robinson Elementary reach their academic potential. Passionate about fostering inclusive and engaging learning experiences that address diverse learning needs and inspire academic growth.

Core Competencies

• Collaborative Teaching
• Classroom Management
• Lesson Planning
• One-on-One Tutoring
• Learning Needs Assessment
• Multicultural Instruction

Work Experience

Teaching Assistant

River Park Elementary School, Bradenton, FL

October 2023–June 2024

Key Responsibilities:

• Implemented instructional activities designed to teach literacy skills in multicultural classrooms in collaboration with experienced teachers.
• Assisted teachers with all classroom activities as well as lesson and curriculum planning.
• Used a variety of classroom management techniques to motivate pupils and keep them focused.
• Communicated frequently with the school administration and students’ parents to address concerns and track progress.
• Produced required documentation, including progress reports, detailed lesson plans for supervision purposes, and assessments on time.

Key Achievement:

• Provided additional support for 11 students with exceptional needs, which helped them improve their performance in standardized tests by 21% on average.

Summer Camp Counselor

Palma Sola Adventures, Bradenton, FL

June–August 2023

• Organized and supervised recreational activities for students aged 12–14 within the established camp program.
• Ensured a safe environment for all indoor and outdoor activities and monitored student behavior to avoid potential risks.
• Lived with groups of campers of up to 6 students to help them adjust to the routine and carry out daily activities according to the camp schedule.
• Used various motivational techniques to keep order in cabins and activity areas.
• Organized a storytelling competition that facilitated creativity and inspired students to write stories about their time at camp.

Bachelor of Science in Elementary Education

The University of South Florida Sarasota-Manatee

Expected graduation in 2025

Relevant Coursework:

• Teaching Multilingual Students with Varying Backgrounds and Abilities
• Exceptional Student Education
• Developing Effective Learning and Teaching Competencies
• Assessment Principles and Practices

Extracurricular Activities:

• Tutored six K–8 students at the Samoset Community Center in the fall of 2023 as part of a student volunteer program.

Certification

• ParaPro Assessment score: 480
• First Aid, CPR, AED

Additional Skills

• Problem-solving skills
• Time management
• Effective verbal and written communication
• Microsoft Word, Excel, PowerPoint
• English—Native
• Spanish—Advanced
• Portuguese—Intermediate

Personal Interests

• Reading teachers’ blogs to learn about new educational approaches and interesting classroom activities.
• Adapting comic books into classroom material to spark students’ interest in reading.

What makes it work:

• This student teacher resume is perfect for an applicant who has some teaching experience as a teacher’s assistant or tutor. 
• It features a captivating introduction that sums up the applicant’s skills and features relevant buzzwords.
• This resume confirms that the applicant fulfilled all requirements for student teaching in their state.

Student Teacher Resume Example for Beginners

Aidan Strathman

MST Student

(222) 333–4444

[email protected]

linkedin.com/in/aidan.strathman 

Enthusiastic second-year MST student specializing in Mathematics education. Eager to participate in the student teaching program in the spring semester of the 2024–2025 school year at Penobscot High School to learn from experienced educators and gain first-hand classroom experience. Completed all state requirements and passed the required coursework to qualify for the program. Developed emotional intelligence and communication skills while volunteering at the Orono Activities Center to tutor students in STEM subjects.

• Verbal and written communication
• Effective collaboration
• Learner behavior management
• Lesson planning
• Emotional intelligence
• Positive attitude
• Cultural sensitivity

Master of Science in Teaching

Maine Center for Research in STEM Education, University of Maine

Expected graduation in June 2025

• Completed coursework in Integrated Approaches in Mathematics Education I & II, Adapting Instruction for Students with Disabilities
• Received passing scores on Core Academic Skills for Educators, Principles of Learning and Teaching Exam, and ParaPro Assessment exams

Bachelor of Science in Mathematics

University of Maine

September 2019–June 2023

Volunteer Experience

Orono Activities Center, Orono

September 2024–present

• Provided personalized 1:1 tutoring to 7 high-school learners focusing on Mathematics and Physics.
• Led a weekend study group for 6 learners aiming at improving their grades by instilling interest in science subjects.
• Adapted instruction and group activities to match the students’ level.
• Used various classroom management techniques to keep students focused and motivated.
• Running a TikTok account dedicated to explaining various science concepts in a simple and fun way
• Reading blogs of experienced teachers to learn about inspiring class activities
• This student teaching resume belongs to an applicant with no relevant work experience, so they placed the education section right after core competencies.
• The resume highlights soft skills important for teaching.
• The additional sections—volunteer experience and personal interests—include activities that show this applicant’s interest in teaching.

Student Teaching Resume Example for Career Changers

Jacquelyn Palmer

Special Education Art Teacher

(333) 444–5555

[email protected]

linkedin.com/in/jacquelyn.palmer

www.arteducationmatters.com

Innovative art instructor with an M.S. in Special Education seeking a full-time teaching position at Crescent School. Eager to help learners develop new skills, reach academic milestones, and find new ways to express themselves through meaningful arts and crafts activities. Completed 750 hours of fieldwork experience in general and special education settings.

• Special Needs Art Education
• Arts and Crafts
• Effective Communication

Art Instructor

Mt. Hopes School, Oakland, CA

October 2023–July 2024

Key Qualifications and Responsibilities:

• Taught engaging art classes to middle school students with special educational needs.
• Collaborated with experienced teachers to develop an art curriculum merging various arts and crafts techniques and aiming to aid the development of multiple skills.
• Adapted instruction and activities to meet the individual needs of each student.
• Coordinated a student field trip to the local fine art museum for a group of 20+ learners.
• Completed required documentation, including lesson plans and observation protocols.
• Organized a charity auction with students’ artwork that raised over $8,500 to refurbish the school’s art studio.

Dream Community Center, Santa Clara, CA

January–September 2023

• Organized enrichment sessions for teenagers and adults using arts and crafts activities and elements of art therapy.
• Prepared the final art exhibition presenting the artwork created by the community center’s clients.
• Collaborated with other instructors to design 10 theater play backgrounds and sew 20+ costumes.
• Helped two high school students apply for scholarships from the California Art Education Association and California Institute of the Arts, and encouraged them to pursue art degrees in the future.

Master of Science in Special Education

California State University

June 2022–May 2024

• Educational psychology
• Program design
• Teaching students with disabilities

Bachelor of Arts in Liberal Studies

September 2017–June 2021

Relevant coursework:

• Child development and learning
• Diversity in education
• Preliminary Education Specialist Instruction Credential, Commission on Teacher Credentialing, valid through June 2029
• CPR, AED and First Aid, American Red Cross, valid through October 2025
• Interpersonal Skills
• Organizational Skills
• Digital skills: Interactive smartboards, MS Office, Zoom, MS Teams

Personal Projects

• Writing a blog promoting art education and craft activities (2K readers)
• This applicant seeks to slightly change their career so the work experience section shows only relevant achievement statements and action words.
• The resume objective focuses on professional skills as well as states what this person can do for the organization.
• All the information featured in this student teaching resume is picked to confirm that the applicant is qualified and well-prepared to teach.

How to Write a Captivating Student Teacher Resume

Each year, nearly 200,000 student teachers test their professional skills in a real classroom. Experts agree that this experience is invaluable—but they also point out that 90% of traditional teacher preparation programs don’t screen mentor teachers. 

You might be lucky and land a cooperating teacher who will support you and provide real mentorship. Or have bad luck and get paired with a cranky, unhelpful, burned-out co-op teacher. That’s why your student-teacher resume must impress the placement committee and school principals.

Let’s see how one successful student-teacher created their resume. This is Tamara’s bio:

My name’s Tamara Gonzalez, and I’m an aspiring K-8 student teacher with a strong foundation in collaborative teaching, classroom management, and lesson planning. My experience includes implementing literacy skills in multicultural classrooms, supporting students with exceptional needs, and improving their standardized test performance by 21% at River Park Elementary. I organized recreational activities and facilitated creativity as a summer camp counselor. I’m pursuing a B.S. in Elementary Education from the University of South Florida Sarasota-Manatee, and I currently have a GPA of 3.76. I’m skilled in one-on-one tutoring, learning needs assessment, and multilingual instruction. Proficient in English, Spanish, and Portuguese. I’m certified in First Aid, CPR, AED, and I received a ParaPro Assessment score of 480.

When Tamara tried to write her student teaching resume, the first draft wasn’t great. That was the introduction:

My name is Tamara Gonzalez and I’m pursuing my Bachelor’s degree in Elementary Education. I hope to gain real classroom experience through student teaching practice at Robinson Elementary.

Sadly, the work experience descriptions were also rather unimpressive:

Responsibilities:

• Assisting other teachers with classroom discipline and activities
• Writing lesson plans
• Overseeing children at a summer camp

That would not get Tamara far. Thankfully, she stumbled upon our resume builder and some great advice that helped her write a student teaching resume worth an A+. Here are the tips she used—and you should try them, too!

1. Start With Essential Information

Let’s get the easiest things out of the way so you can focus on more complex parts of your resume. In your freshly created document, create a resume header where you’ll put all the contact information : full name, degree or professional title, phone number, and email address. Optionally, you may also provide the address of your LinkedIn profile , teaching portfolio website, or teaching-related social media.

There’s no space for creativity here, but if you want to make your header more unique, you can use small resume icons or symbols next to your contact information. Just remember to be subtle.

2. Advertise Your Best Teaching Qualities in the Resume Profile

It's time to show your assets. A great student teacher resume starts with an introduction that lays out relevant qualifications, teaching experience, and professional knowledge in just a few sentences.

The best format? Resume objective . Use it to combine the information about your professional background with a goal you aim to achieve at a given school. Check Tamara’s profile which was improved by our builder:

Improved Tamara’s resume objective

What makes this resume profile impressive? 

• It mentions Tamara’s strengths related to teaching.
• It includes a goal she wants to achieve while helping the school and its students.
• It expresses her passion and professional interests.

You can use a similar approach, no matter what subjects you’re going to teach.

3. Put Your Core Student Teacher Competencies Above the Fold

It’s true that you’re still in the process of learning to teach—but that doesn’t mean you don’t have professional skills that you can be proud of. Your past teaching or tutoring experiences definitely taught you a thing or two, and studying for your degree has given you foundational knowledge about education. Now, it’s time to turn these into your core competencies.

What makes this example great?

• It combines soft skills — collaboration —with professional competencies such as lesson planning .
• It features teaching buzzwords that catch attention. 
• It gives a quick overview of the applicant’s strengths.

This section must appear right under the introduction of your student teaching resume. No exceptions, and here’s why: studies show that it’s natural for readers to focus attention on the upper half of a document. The lower the gaze goes, the less focused they are.

Expert Hint

Remember to mention soft skills in your resume. Research has shown that teamwork, communication skills, problem-solving, critical thinking, leadership skills, and lifelong learning are essential for educators. They’re also becoming invaluable in the workplace, so nurturing them is one of the top education trends at the moment. You don’t have to list them all as your Core Competencies, but it’s a good idea to incorporate soft skills in various sections of your student-teacher resume.

4. Show Your Student Teacher's Educational Background and Qualifications

For the majority of aspiring teachers, this resume section is the most important one. And there’s so much information it can encompass! Let’s start with the basics: every student teacher's resume must include the name of the degree, university name, and years of study or expected graduation year. But there’s more you can add, such as:

• Relevant coursework
• Extracurricular activities
• Student associations

It’s worth mentioning these pieces of info, especially if you haven’t had any teaching-related experience yet. Plus, if you’ve never taught or tutored before, I encourage you to place the education section right after your core competencies —this way, the placement committee will focus on your academic performance.

This example is great for several reasons:

• It features the essentials straight away, so they’re easy to spot.
• It mentions coursework related to education.
• It lists an extra activity that’s teaching-related.

Make sure to check the local requirements for student teachers. They vary from state to state . If you completed an undergraduate degree in one state but want to do your clinical practice in another, it’s best if you check local teacher preparation programs for detailed information about the requirements.

5. Include Relevant Teaching Experience

Yes, you aren’t qualified to teach full-time yet. But there’s a chance that you have some teaching-related experience like tutoring, working as a teaching assistant, being a camp counselor, ESL teaching abroad, or volunteering. You can include all of these activities in your work experience section .

But how? In your student teacher resume descriptions, mention the job title, name of the school or organization, and work period. Follow with descriptions of your teaching-related duties. Try to include one or a few achievements. If you have several relevant experiences, list them in reverse chronological order .

Here’s what Tamara included in her work experience section:

What makes it great?

• Bullet points help to organize the information.
• Each line starts with an action verb to highlight relevant duties.
• The key achievement features numbers that catch attention.
• Several descriptions feature soft skills that are highly desirable in teachers.

6. Pick Additional Sections for a Student Teacher Resume

You’re not done yet! Using additional sections will help convince the placement committee that you’re eligible to student teach and that you’re also on the right track to become a dedicated teacher. If there’s any certification that’s required from student-teaching candidates, start with that. Then, follow with additional hard and soft skills that didn’t make it into the core competencies part. If you have some space left on your student teacher resume, you can also add sections such as language proficiency , volunteer experience , personal interests , or research and publications.

This is what Tamara included:

• Essential certifications are listed first.
• The additional skills section mentions computer skills that are useful for educational purposes.
• Being an advanced Spanish speaker can help when working in multicultural environments.
• The interests listed are also relevant for a teacher.

Remember to be selective. When filling out the contents of your student teaching experience on a resume, start with the essential information. Afterward, if you have some space left, mention additional sections. It’s much more important to mention your academic background than your interests.

Now, you may dig deeper into writing the contents of a resume with these guides:

• Describing Your Education on a Resume
• Different Types of Resumes
• Effective Bullet Points on a Resume

Alternatively, move on to learn about the visual elements of a professional resume.

The ResumeLab builder is more than looks. Get specific content to boost your chances of getting the job. Add job descriptions, bullet points, and skills. Easy. Improve your resume in our resume builder now .

CREATE YOUR RESUME NOW

Nail it all with a splash of color, choose a clean font, and highlight your skills in just a few clicks. You're the perfect candidate, and we'll prove it. Use our resume builder now .

Structure Your Student Teaching Resume Template Well

Research has shown that lookism influences hiring decisions. Everyone has aesthetic preferences , and they’re developed very early in life. When formatting your student teacher resume, you must try to match the placement committee preferences for document layouts. 

Now, what do you think: would they prefer an experimental approach to resume visuals or rather expect a traditional, well-organized structure that’s easy to follow?

Ensure your resume is clean, professional, and easy to read. Use a simple font like Arial or Times New Roman, with consistent formatting for headings and bullet points. Highlight your teaching experiences and skills clearly. Proofread meticulously to avoid any errors. Mariusz Wawrzyniak Career Expert

At this point, you can save time and effort by picking a pre-made, simple resume template and just filling it out. If you prefer to have full control over your application, follow the instructions to create a template in Word or Google Docs:

• Start with organizing the layout: Your student teacher resume can follow a classic, one-column layout or feature a narrow sidebar where you’ll put contact information. Pick the fonts for your resume , set the spacing, and don’t forget about resume margins .
• Keep the length of your resume reasonable: Unless you have a lot of relevant experience, limit yourself to one page.
• Make your student teaching resume distinct: Try to stand out by using one or two colors for headings, adding a simple logo with your initials to the header area, or featuring minimalist resume icons. Just remember to keep it classy.
• Optimize for ATS systems: Even if the placement committee doesn’t use applicant tracking software, it’s good practice to make the resume ATS-friendly. The sooner you learn how to do it, the better for you!

Would you like to learn more about resume formatting? See these helpful guides:

• Resume Design Ideas for You
• Best One-Page Resume Templates
• Different Resume Layouts in 2024

Double your impact with a matching resume and cover letter combo. Use our cover letter generator and make your application documents pop out.

CREATE YOUR COVER LETTER NOW

Want to try a different look? There's 21 more. A single click will give your document a total makeover. Pick a cover letter template here .

There are no mysteries left for you when it comes to creating a professional student-teacher resume. How about trying out our resume builder to write your resume quickly? Good luck!

About ResumeLab’s Editorial Process

At ResumeLab, quality is at the crux of our values, supporting our commitment to delivering top-notch career resources. The editorial team of career experts carefully reviews every article in accordance with editorial guidelines , ensuring the high quality and reliability of our content. We actively conduct original research, shedding light on the job market's intricacies and earning recognition from numerous influential news outlets . Our dedication to delivering expert career advice attracts millions of readers to our blog each year.

Roma is a Certified Professional Résumé Writer and career expert with international work experience and a background in education and humanities. She has spent considerable time assisting individuals in advancing their careers by helping them improve their communication skills in diverse cultural and professional settings. She has written over 50 articles on effective approaches to resume writing and career advice.

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Harris backs an unrealized capital gains tax. It won’t affect most Americans’ home sales

If your time is short.

Currently, unrealized capital gains, or unsold assets that have appreciated in value, are not subject to federal taxes.

Vice President Kamala Harris’ presidential campaign said she supports President Joe Biden’s 2025 budget proposal, which called for a 25% minimum tax rate on unrealized capital gains for taxpayers with more than $100 million in wealth.

Most Americans would not be subject to such a tax. There are fewer than 10,000 people in the U.S. with a net worth of at least $100 million.

Vice President Kamala Harris’ presidential campaign recently said she supports a proposed policy aimed at the ultrawealthy that President Joe Biden has pushed for years: a new tax on unrealized capital gains, or unsold assets that have increased in value.

But some social media users exaggerated how such a tax would affect the majority of Americans.

An Aug. 25 Facebook post read, "Home Owner Do you Realize that Harris plan to tax unrecognized Capital Gains mean(s) if your house goes up in value you will have to pay that Tax Even if you don’t sell your House!"

(Screengrab from Facebook)

Another Facebook post showed a photo of a Fox News segment about Harris’ tax plan with the words "unrealized gains tax: 25%; currently: 0%" circled. Below that, text on the photo read, "This means they will tax you for the house you own extra every year!"

Other posts on Facebook and Threads made similar claims about the proposed tax. They were flagged as part of Meta’s efforts to combat false news and misinformation on its News Feed. (Read more about our partnership with Meta , which owns Facebook, Instagram and Threads.)

Harris’ opponent, former President Donald Trump, said at an Aug. 23 campaign rally in Las Vegas that this unrealized capital gains tax "will soon be applied to small business owners and you will be forced to sell your restaurant immediately."

Harris’ official campaign account, Kamala HQ, responded on X that the tax would apply only to people with $100 million in wealth.

Harris has not released any tax policies. Harris’ campaign said she supports tax provisions in Biden’s 2025 budget proposal, including a tax on unrealized capital gains, Axios , The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal reported.

When PolitiFact contacted the Harris campaign for more information about Harris’ tax plan, the campaign declined to comment, pointing instead to reporting from Axios and Minneapolis-based news outlet KMSP-TV .

Biden’s budget proposes tax hikes for the wealthiest Americans; it would not raise taxes for people earning less than $400,000 a year.

One of Biden’s proposals is a 25% minimum tax on income, including unrealized capital gains, for taxpayers with a net worth — meaning assets minus liabilities — of more than $100 million.

If instituted, the White House said , this so-called billionaires tax would apply only to the wealthiest 0.01% of Americans — not the vast majority of the country’s taxpayers. In the U.S., there are about 9,850 centimillionaires, or people with at least $100 million in wealth, according to a March 2024 report from Henley & Partners, a wealth and migration advisory firm, and New World Wealth, a global wealth research firm.

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So, of this small ultrawealthy group, only the people who have more than 20% of their wealth in tradable assets — for example, publicly traded stock — would pay taxes on unrealized capital gains, Biden’s budget proposal states.

Taxpayers with more than 80% of their wealth in nontradable assets, such as real estate and shares in private startups, would be considered "illiquid." These taxpayers could choose to include only unrealized gain in tradable assets when determining how much they owe in taxes, according to the budget proposal. 

Currently, capital gains are taxed only after a realized event, such as when someone sells an asset. If an asset remains unrealized — never sold — it’s not subject to taxes.

Some economists said an unrealized capital gains tax would promote more equity in the tax code.

"As it is now, normal workers are taxed on their entire income, but we have a situation where the very rich can have hundreds of millions or even billions of dollars of capital gains which go altogether untaxed," said Dean Baker, co-founder and senior economist at the Center for Economic and Policy Research.

Wealthy people can hold stocks until they die, and then pass the assets to their heirs without paying taxes as long as their gains are unrealized, Baker said.

Biden’s budget proposal argues that tax-free accumulation of wealth over generations exacerbates income-and-wealth disparities in the U.S.

Adam Michel, tax policy studies director at the libertarian Cato Institute, said an unrealized capital gains tax would  overly burden the Internal Revenue Service and would discourage investment in burgeoning businesses.

"Such a system would encourage investors to put their money in safer investments, such as government bonds, rather than new innovative industries, like new energy sources, biopharmaceuticals, or AI," Michel said.

Economic experts told PolitiFact that this proposed tax change is not certain, even if Harris wins the presidency. Any changes would require congressional approval, and control of the House and Senate will also be decided in November.

It’s also unclear whether a wealth tax, such as this one, would survive legal challenges .

Social media posts claimed Harris’ "plan to tax unrecognized Capital Gains mean(s) if your house goes up in value you will have to pay that Tax Even if you don’t sell your House."

That claim ignores several critical facts about Harris’ plan, which is derived from Biden’s 2025 budget proposal. Most crucially: Most Americans wouldn’t have to pay a tax on the appreciated value of their unsold assets and this tax would apply only to people with more than $100 million in wealth. That’s fewer than 10,000 people in the U.S.

Although this tax would affect the country’s top 0.01% of taxpayers, the claim that American homeowners, broadly, would be taxed is an overstatement. We rate this claim Mostly False.

Read About Our Process

The Principles of the Truth-O-Meter

Our Sources

Email interview with Lawrence Zelenak, law professor at Duke University who specializes in tax policy, Aug. 28, 2024

Email interview with Dean Baker, co-founder and senior economist, Center for Economic and Policy Research, Aug. 28, 2024

Email interview with Adam Michel, director of tax policy studies at the Cato Institute, Aug. 28, 2024

Email interview with Josh Bivens, chief economist at the Economic Policy Institute, Aug. 28, 2024

Email interview with Steve Rosenthal, senior fellow at the Urban Institute and Brookings Institution’s Tax Policy Center, Aug. 30, 2024

Email interview with John Buhl, communications director of the Urban Institute, Aug. 28, 2024

Email exchange with James Singer, spokesperson for Kamala Harris’ presidential campaign, Aug. 29, 2024

Department of the Treasury, " General Explanations of the Biden Administration's Fiscal Year 2025 Revenue Proposals ," March 11, 2024

The White House, " Budget of the United States Government, Fiscal Year 2025 ," March 2024

Axios, " The reality of Kamala Harris' plan to tax unrealized capital gains ," Aug. 23, 2024

The New York Times, " What We Know About Kamala Harris’s $5 Trillion Tax Plan So Far ," Aug. 22, 2024

The Wall Street Journal, " Kamala Harris’s Tax Increases and Cuts Take Shape ," Aug. 27, 2024

KMSP-TV, " Fact check: Unrealized capital gains tax proposal of presidential candidates ," Aug. 28, 2024

The Dispatch, " Sorting Out Claims About Taxes on Unrealized Capital Gains ," Aug. 27, 2024

Henley & Partners, " USA Wealth Report 2024 ," March 19, 2024

Tax Policy Center, " How are capital gains taxed? ," January 2024

Tax Policy Center, " Moore v. The United States: Will The Supreme Court Join The Whack-A-Tax Shelter Game? ," July 2, 2024

Cato Institute, " Harris’s Tax on Unrealized Gains is Only the Tip of a $5 Trillion Tax Iceberg ," Aug. 26, 2024

Cato Institute, " SCOTUS Upholds a Tax on Stock Ownership in Narrow Opinion ," June 20, 2024

Investopedia, " Your Unrealized Gains Are Safe From Biden/Harris Tax Proposal—Unless You Have $100M ," Aug. 28, 2024

Facebook post ( archived ), Aug. 25, 2024

Facebook post ( archived ), Aug. 24, 2024

Facebook post ( archived ), Aug. 28, 2024

Facebook post , Aug. 28, 2024

Threads post ( archived ), Aug. 26, 2024

YouTube, " Right Side Broadcasting Network - WATCH: President Trump's Full Remarks at "No Tax on Tips" Event in Las Vegas ," Aug. 23, 2024

Kamala HQ, X post , Aug. 23, 2024

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The University of Chicago The Law School

Criminal and juvenile justice clinic—significant achievements for 2023-24.

The Criminal and Juvenile Justice Clinic (CJJC) provides zealous representation to indigent children and adults who are accused or have been convicted of delinquency or crime. The CJJC is a national leader in expanding the concept of legal representation for children and young adults to include their social, psychological, and educational needs. The CJJC also engages in impact work to effect systemic change. In 2023-24, Professor Herschella Conyers directed the CJJC and Professor Erica Zunkel was a CJJC faculty member.

Juvenile Trial and Not Guilty Verdict

In February 2024, Professors Conyers and Zunkel and CJJC students tried a long-running clinic case in Cook County juvenile court. After a four-day trial, the judge concluded that the State had not proven its case beyond a reasonable doubt and found our client not delinquent (the equivalent of not guilty in juvenile court). The charges were very serious, and the not delinquent result has been life-changing for our client and his family. Our client no longer has a felony case hanging over his head, and his juvenile record has been completely expunged.

CJJC students spent the year diligently preparing for trial, organizing and mastering discovery, and conducting investigative tasks. Their contributions were critical and wide-ranging. Students helped draft direct and cross examinations, the opening statement, the closing argument, and pre-trial motions, and they also appeared in court. Prior to trial, CJJC student Jordan Cohen, ’24 , successfully argued against one of the State’s motions in limine. During trial, three CJJC students— Zoe Belford, ’24 , Laura Breckenridge, ’24 , and Caleb Jeffreys, ’24 —conducted direct examinations of key defense witnesses. Caleb shared his thoughts on representing our client at trial here . Maggie Wells, ’24 , and Ajoke Adetula, ’25, were also key members of the trial team and assisted with every aspect of trial preparation.

This trial victory built on the excellent work of previous generations of CJJC students who reviewed discovery, litigated and argued pre-trial motions, retained critical defense experts, conducted investigative work, and completed other important tasks.

Cook County Criminal Cases

The CJJC continued work on several pretrial felony cases at the 26th and California Criminal Courthouse and took on a new case.

In one case, the CJJC negotiated a diversionary disposition under Illinois’s expanded First Time Weapons Offense Program (FTWOP) for a client with no criminal history and a personal background of profound trauma. After nearly a year of our client’s participation in the program, CJJC student Juliana Steward, ’24 , argued that our client’s supervision should be ended early, and the underlying charges dismissed, so that the case would no longer interfere with her employment and career advancement. CJJC students Laura Breckenridge, ‘24 , and Nicholas Smith, ’24 , researched and drafted a persuasive motion to suppress evidence in the 2022-23 school year, which was instrumental in persuading prosecutors to offer participation in the FTWOP.

In another case, the CJJC collaborated with Precious Blood Ministry of Reconciliation (PBMR), a restorative justice non-profit organization based in the Back of the Yards neighborhood, to represent a nineteen-year-old young man who is actively involved with PBMR. Under the supervision of Professor Zunkel, the CJJC student team, consisting of Matt Maxson, ’24 , Sebastian Torero, ’24 , Ajoke Adetula, ’25 , and Jessica Ritchie, ’25 , reviewed and catalogued discovery; researched, drafted, and argued a motion for release under Illinois’s new Pretrial Fairness Act; researched and drafted a motion to suppress evidence; prepared an impactful mitigation video; and assisted with plea negotiations. Our client ultimately pled guilty pursuant to a favorable plea agreement. Under the supervision of Professor Zunkel, Sebastian Torero, ’24 represented our client at his pretrial release hearing and the plea and sentencing hearing.

Excessive Sentences Project

In 2023, Professor Zunkel launched the Excessive Sentences Project (ESP) to ameliorate unjust and excessive sentences and combat mass incarceration in Illinois and the federal system. This project builds on Professor Zunkel’s groundbreaking sentence reduction work in the Federal Criminal Justice Clinic (FCJC). The ESP’s work took multiple forms: (1) litigating federal post-conviction sentence reduction motions, with a specific focus on clients who are serving lengthy mandatory minimum sentences that would be drastically lower today; and (2) broader advocacy for the increased use of second look mechanisms.

The federal sentence reduction statute permits a judge to reduce an individual’s sentence for “extraordinary and compelling” reasons. On November 1, 2023, the Sentencing Commission’s updated policy statement went into effect, which permits sentence reductions for family circumstances, abuse in prison, medical reasons, when an individual’s sentence is “unusually long,” or any other “extraordinary and compelling” reason. Professor Zunkel and her client, Dwayne White, previously testified in favor of expanding the grounds for a sentence reduction. In 2018, Congress reformed the sentence reduction statute so that people in federal prisons can bring sentence reduction motions to judges, rather than waiting for the Bureau of Prisons to grant relief.

The CJJC litigated numerous sentence reduction motions over the course of the year. Building on eleven prior successful motions for sentence reductions, including eight early releases for individuals convicted in connection with the government’s Illinois stash house reverse sting operations, Professor Zunkel and Nathaniel Berry, ’24 , filed another sentence reduction motion for a stash house client, which was granted in February 2024. As a result, our client was released from prison ten years early from his twenty-five-year mandatory minimum sentence. In addition, Professor Zunkel and Juliana Steward, ‘24 , in collaboration with Professor Alison Siegler and a team of FCJC students, filed a sentence reduction motion for a stash house client who is serving a thirty-five-year sentence and is one of just two people still imprisoned for the Illinois stash house operations. Our motion is currently pending. Professor Zunkel’s successful stash house sentence reduction litigation was featured in a recent episode of the Drugs on the Docket podcast.

Professor Zunkel, Nathaniel Berry, ’24 , Nicholas Smith, ’24 , Maggie Wells, ’24 , Christiana Burnett, ’25 , and Julianne Kelleher, ’25 also filed several sentence reduction motions under the Sentencing Commission’s updated policy statement for clients who received life or defacto life sentences that would be drastically lower today based on “once-in-a generation” legal changes that Congress did not make retroactive. Students spent countless hours scouring our clients’ case records, reaching out to our clients and their families and friends to verify release plans, conducting legal research, and drafting the motions. These motions are currently pending.

In addition to representing clients, Professor Zunkel and CJJC students advocated more broadly for expanding post-conviction second looks. Professor Zunkel and CJJC student Nathaniel Berry, ’24 authored an op-ed in USA Today on the importance of the Sentencing Commission’s new “unusually long sentences” ground for a sentence reduction. The piece highlighted CJJC client Dion Walker, who is serving a mandatory life sentence for drug trafficking that he could not receive today. In September 2023, Professor Zunkel, Nathaniel Berry, ’24 , and Maggie Wells, ’24 presented with FAMM General Counsel Mary Price and Professor Alison Guernsey (Director, University of Iowa Law School Federal Criminal Defense Clinic) at the Second Look Network’s conference about the Sentencing Commission’s updated policy statement and second looks in the federal system. Professor Zunkel also spoke at the Midwest Clinical Conference and FAMM’s Second Chances Convening about the Sentencing Commission’s updated policy statement.

In recognition of her sentence reduction work, Professor Zunkel received the Excellence in Pro Bono Service Award from the United States Northern District of Illinois District Court and the Federal Bar Association.

CJJC Students

Sixteen students participated in the CJJC in the 2023-24 academic year. Of the eleven third-year students in the CJJC, seven argued in court behalf of our clients under Professor Conyers’ and/or Professor Zunkel’s supervision pursuant to Illinois Supreme Court Rule 711. Maggie Wells, ’24 won the Mandel Award for outstanding contributions to the clinical program. Over the course of her time in the CJJC, Maggie worked on the CJJC’s juvenile trial case, the Excessive Sentences Project, and one of the CJJC’s pretrial criminal cases. Our CJJC graduating students have bright futures: five students are going on to federal clerkships, two are working in public interest positions, and several are going to law firms.