uc berkeley essays that worked

18 UC Berkeley Essay Examples that Worked (2024)

If you want to get into the University of California, Berkeley in 2022, you need to write strong Personal Insight Question essays.

In this article I've gathered 18 of the best University of California essays that worked in recent years for you to learn from and get inspired.

What is UC Berkeley's Acceptance Rate?

UC Berkeley is one of the top public universities and therefore highly competitive to get admitted into.

This past year 112,854 students applied to Berkeley and only 16,412 got accepted. Which gives UC Berkeley an overall admit rate of 14.5%.

And as of 2022, the University of California no longer uses your SAT and ACT when deciding which students to admit.

UC Berkeley Acceptance Scattergram

This means that your Personal Insight Questions are even more important to stand out in the admissions process. That is, your essays are more heavily weighed.

If you're trying to get accepted to UC Berkeley, here are 18 of the best examples of Personal Insight Questions that got into Berkeley.

What are the UC Personal Insight Question Prompts for 2022-23?

The Personal Insight Questions (PIQs) are a set of eight questions asked by the UC application, of which students must answer four of those questions in 350 words or less.

Here are the Personal Insight Question prompts for this year:

• Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.
• Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.
• What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?
• Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.
• Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?
• Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.
• What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?
• Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

18 UC Berkeley Personal Insight Question Examples

Here are the 18 best Berkeley essays that worked for each Personal Insight Question prompt #1-8.

If you're also applying to UCLA, check out more unique UCLA essays from admitted students.

UC Berkeley Example Essay #1

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UC PIQ #1: Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. (350 words max)

From an early age I became a translator for my mother anytime we went out in public. This experience forced me to have conversations with adults from a young age. It made me become a great communicator, while helping my parents overcome their language barrier.

Being a communicator has allowed me to lead. When I joined my school’s National Honor Society I was given the opportunity to lead. Applying the skills I used from being my mother’s translator I was able to do what no one else could, make the calls and start the club’s most successful event to date an annual Food Drive at a local Albertson’s, which collects over one ton of food every November. Also developing events like an egg hunt at the local elementary school, a goods drive for the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles, and stabilizing a volunteer partnership with a local park. I have been able to grow as a leader, who actively communicates and brings parties together, planning events and having them run smoothly with minor issues. For instance, last year there was an issue with the homeless shelter not picking up the food for the food drive. In a spur of the moment solution I managed for club member’s parents to collectively deliver the food. My ability to communicate benefited me allowing me to find a solution to an unanticipated problem.

Throughout the four years I have been in journalism I have led; mentoring younger writers and improving the way the paper operates. Staying after hours, skyping with writers about their articles all helped establish my role as a leader, who is always supporting his team. I have done this while writing over 100 articles, editing tons of pages, and managing deadlines. I learned that while being a leader requires effort, it is the passion like I have for journalism that motivates me to lead in my community.

Being a leader so far in my life has taught me that I need to communicate, be passionate, and pass on my knowledge helping cultivate future leaders, who can expand and supersede my work.

UC PIQ #2: Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. (350 words max)

Video games have cultivated my creative thought process. When I was a toddler I invented a game I would play with my brothers. It was nothing along the lines of Hide-and-Seek or Tag, but rather, it was meant to mimic a role-playing video game. It was called "Guy" and came with its own story, leveling system, and narrative story. While seemingly impossible to translate the mechanics of a video game into real life, the "Guy" trilogy provided hundreds of hours of fun to pass hot summer days and escape the harsh reality of our parents arguing and eventual divorce.

This thought process translated into my educational career. have always thought of a tough class or test as a video game. This mostly due to my excessive amounts of video games I played as a child through middle school (especially 7th grade). Each year comes bigger and "stronger" challenges, bigger and stronger bosses to defeat. My senior year will have me face the most powerful boss yet; full AP course load on top of heavy club involvement and community college classes.

Many thought of this "secret boss" as an impossible challenge; something that could never be beaten. No one from my school has ever attempted to take on such a challenge, let alone defeat it. That is probably what excites me about it. In a game, messing around with lower level enemies is fun for a while, but gets boring when it is too easy. The thought of a challenge so great and difficult makes the victory even more rewarding. Stormy skies, heavy rain, and epic boss battle music; I'll take that over a peaceful village any day. In the future, I seek to use this thinking to drive research. I think of abstract physics concepts like secret door and levels that need to be proven true or just a myth in the game. One day, I can make my own discovery of a secret "cheat code' that can help everyone who plays a little game called life.

UC PIQ #3: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (350 words max)

I’ve always hated the feeling of clammy hands, the needless overflow of adrenaline rushing through my veins, and the piercing eyes that can see through my façade—the eyes that judge me. I felt like this debilitating anxiety that I suffered through was something I could not avoid when doing the thing I was most afraid of—public speaking. I still felt every sweat droplet run down my skin before each speech, and this anguish never completely dissipated. Fortunately, I learned to moderate my fear in high school when I decided to join the speech and debate program. My anxiety has slowly faded in intensity as I’ve gained certitude and poise with every tournament, and every chance I’m given to speak on behalf of others; this talent has allowed me to be a voice for the voiceless.

Out of all the national tournaments that I’ve competed in, the MLK invitational holds a distinct place in my heart. It was my first invitational tournament in which I competed exclusively in Lincoln Douglas debate. I only had two weeks to prepare myself since it was finals week, while my competitors had upwards of two months to prepare. I was fortunate to break into the final round, as my years of experience helped me to articulate and explain my few arguments more effectively, while also refuting my opponent’s.

I realized that the extent of one’s knowledge is useless if it cannot be made known in a way that is clear to others. I learned that preparation is necessary, but one can be so focused on what they are going to say that they don’t hear the arguments presented. I kept an open and ready mind for various claims and strategies which left me free to adapt to the opponent’s argumentative style each round. This ability to think on my feet has served me well in countless debates, speeches, and presentations. I continuously use these skills to become a better and more active listener in my daily interactions as well.

My greatest skill is my ability to remember things really well, whether they be minute details or important information that should not be forgotten. Over time, I’ve had a knack for remembering details most people would not even bother to remember, such as old test scores, atomic masses, and other details involving numbers. My friends have always marveled at my ability to remember all these numbers. When I was in chemistry class, we used the periodic table so much that I soon began to remember the atomic mass of the more common elements, and even the molecular mass of common compounds like glucose or water. One of my best friends, who is undoubtedly the smartest person in our class, even finds it crazy that I can remember all these numbers and always tells me that my memory of numbers is amazing. I also used my memory to learn and remember how to solve the Rubik's cube, which amazes my friends, as they find it to be complex with many different, possible combinations.

This skill that I have developed, however, isn’t completely under my control, as sometimes I just remember random and irrelevant facts without really trying to do so. I recall one weekend when my eight-year-old cousin was attempting to memorize the digits of pi: I remembered them along with him, learning up to forty digits in just one day. The skill is seemingly natural and not something I have worked hard to develop, as I may be able to use my memory to my advantage, or it can be a disadvantage. It helps when I have multiple tests in one day, or a test with many questions where I have to remember a lot of information, such as finals. Sometimes, however, it is a disadvantage when I remember information during a test that is not relevant to the topic, such as random dates, names, or song lyrics, to name a few. This skill is very important to nonetheless, as it has assisted me all throughout my life in many tests and challenges involving memory.

UC PIQ #4: Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced. (350 words max)

At 10:30 pm on a hot, summer, Wednesday night, you would expect my friends and me to be having the time of our lives and going out on crazy high school adventures— but instead, we were actually stuck in a chemistry laboratory trying to map out the Lewis structure of sulfuric acid.

Over the summer of my sophomore year, my friends and I enrolled into ‘Introduction to Chemistry’, an evening course at our local community college. As a six-week summer course, I spent two hours in lecture, two hours in the laboratory, and another two hours studying on my own for four days a week for six weeks. It was evident that I struggled with adjusting to the pace of college when I received 19% on a quiz. I felt left behind, exhausted, and overall pathetic. No matter how many hours I spent studying, I couldn’t keep up. But instead of giving up, I picked up certain strategies like reading the material the night before, rewriting my notes, and joining a study group; eventually working my way up to a B.

At the end of that summer, I learned so much more than just chemistry. On top of having the raw experience of what college is like, my chemistry experience taught me that it is okay to fail. I discovered that failure is an essential part of learning. Coming to this realization inspired me to take more college courses and rigorous courses in high school. I transformed into a hungry learner, eager to fail, learn, and improve. By seizing the opportunity to take this course, I pushed myself beyond my limits. This experience and realization changed how I wanted to pursue the rest of high school, college, and life in general.

I walked into my first day of the chemistry class expecting to walk out with an A; but thankfully, I didn’t. Instead, I walked out of that class with a taste of the college experience and a principle that I now live by-- that it is okay to fail, as long as you get back up.

The relationship I cultivated with my school's college center, by simply being inquisitive, has been most significant. Over my years in high school the college center became my 2nd home, where I learned about extra opportunities and triumphed with help from counselors.

For instance, with help from my school’s college center I applied and was accepted as an LAUSD Superintendent Summer Scholar this past summer. The program selected 15 juniors out of over 450 applicants to work in one of 15 departments, and I was chosen to work for the communications department, which received over 70 applications – making me 1 of 70. Interning for LAUSD at their 29 floor high rise was very eye-opening and exposed me to working in communications alongside seasoned professionals. The opportunity gave me the chance to meet the Superintendent and school board members, who are politically in charge of my education. As part of the communications department I learned how the district operates a network of over 1,300 schools and saw how the 2nd largest school district shares info with stakeholders through universal press releases, phone calls, and the district homepage.

I wrote several articles for the district publication and worked with public information officers who taught me the principles of professionalism and how to communicate to over 1 million people. Recently, I was called from the district to become a part of their Media Advisory Council working alongside district heads, representing the students of LAUSD.

Working for LAUSD furthered my passion to pursue careers in both communication and education. I have always had a desire to be a journalist and the internship assured me of that. I want to write stories bringing student issues from areas like mine to light. Being exposed to the movers and shakers that control education in Los Angeles has heavily motivated me to become an educator and at some point become a school board member influencing the education students like me receive.

Support from the college center has spawned opportunities like a life-changing internship and set me on course for a future full of opportunity.

“Give me liberty, or give me death!”, I proudly exclaimed, finishing up a speech during my first Individual Event competition for Speech and Debate, also known as Forensics Workshop. Public speaking was always one of my shortcomings. During countless in-class presentations, I suffered from stage-fright and anxiety, and my voice always turned nervous and silent. I saw Speech and Debate as a solution to this barrier that hindered my ability to teach and learn. With excessive practice, I passed the tryout and found myself in the zero-period class. All of my teammates, however, joined because they loved chattering and arguing. I had the opposite reason: I despised public speaking.

I was definitely one of the least competitive members of the team, probably because I didn’t take the tournaments very seriously and mainly worried about being a better speaker for the future. Throughout the daily class, I engaged in impromptu competitions, speech interpretations, spontaneous arguments, etc... Throughout my two years on the team, my communication, reciting, writing, and arguing skills overall improved through participation in events such as Impromptu, Original Oratory, Oratorical Interpretation, Lincoln Douglas Debate, and Congress. I even achieved a Certificate of Excellence in my first competition for Oratorical Interpretation -- where we had to recite a historical or current speech -- for Patrick Henry’s “Give Me Liberty, or Give Me Death.”

I decided to quit Speech and Debate because I felt as if it has completed its purpose. After this educational experience, my communications skilled soared, so I could perform better in school, especially on essays and presentations. Leaving this activity after two years gave me more time to focus on other activities, and apply communications skills to them. In fact, I even did better in interviews (which is how I got into the Torrance Youth Development Program) and even obtained leadership positions in clubs such as Math Club and Science Olympiad Through my two years in Speech and Debate, I believe I became a much better thinker, speaker, and leader. Taking advantage of this opportunity boosted my self-esteem and overall made high school a better experience.

UC PIQ #5: Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement? (350 words max)

Although many would say that hardships are the greatest hindrance on a person, my hardships are my greatest assets. The hardships I have overcome are what push and drive me forward. If I had not gone through the failures of my 7th grade year I may have been satisfied as a B or C student. It is easy for us to use our hardships as excuses for not doing work, however, this is a mistake that many people make.

Through my struggles and failure, I have realized an important truth: I am not special. The world will continue to go on and expect me to contribute no matter what I have gone through. Everyone endures some type of obstacle in their life; what makes people different is how they handle them. Some sit around and cry "boo-hoo" waiting for people to feel sorry for them. Others actually take action to improve their situation.

Through hard work, I have been able to outperform my peers, yet I know there is still room for improvement. The thought of actual geniuses in top universities excited me; I long to learn from them and eventually surpass them, or perhaps enter a never ending race for knowledge with them. I used to live an hour away from school. I would have to wake up and be dropped off at a donut shop at 4 in the morning and then walk to school at 6:30 am. After school, I would have to walk to the public library and stay for as long as it was open then wait outside and get picked up around 9:30 pm. I am reluctant to retell this story; not because I am ashamed, but because it is not important. It doesn't matter what hardships I have endured, they do not determine who I am. What matters is what I have done.

At the start of high school, I saw nothing but success. From grades to extracurricular activities, everything seemed to be going smoothly. However, as my sophomore year progressed, this wave of success was soon swamped by a wave of disillusionment. I struggled to perform in Calculus and as a Vice-President, but instead of looking for a solution, I looked for excuses. Ultimately, when I was forced to face my two F’s and my lost elections, the world came crashing down. The vision I had meticulously planned out for the future seemed to shatter before my eyes. My self-confidence plummeted to an all-time low. I thought my life was over.

However, my response to this failure was what would ultimately determine the direction my life would take. In the end, I made the right choice: instead of continuing to blind myself with a false narrative that cast all the blame off my own shoulders, I admitted to my own shortcomings and used this experience as a lesson to grow from.

In doing so, I learned to focus on the aspects of my life that I was truly passionate about instead of spreading myself too thin. I learned to face challenges head-on instead cowering at the first sign of difficulty, even if it meant asking others for help. I learned to accept and utilize my own differences to create my own unique leadership style. Most importantly, rather than letting this mistake define me, I ignited a sense of determination that would guide me back on the right path no matter how many obstacles I encounter.

Looking back, this tragic mistake was a double-edged sword. While it definitely leaves a stain on my record, it is also likely that I wouldn’t have been able to find the same success a year later without the lessons I gained from this experience. At the end of the day, while I still grimace every time I contemplate my sophomore year, I understand now that this mistake is what has allowed me to develop into the person I am today.

Throughout my childhood, I grew up in a nine-person household where the channels of our TV never left the Filipino drama station and the air always smelled of Filipino food. But the moment I left home, I would go to a typical suburban elementary school as an average American kid at the playground. I grew up in a unique position which I both love and hate: being a second-generation Filipino American.

I love being a second-generation immigrant. I have the best of both worlds. But I also hate it. It chains me to this ongoing struggle of living under the high expectations of immigrant parents. How could I hate the part of me that I loved the most?

Growing up, I lived under the constant academic stress that my parents placed on me. Their expectations were through the roof, demanding that I only bring home A’s on my report card. My entire academic career was based on my parent’s expectations. Their eyes beat down on every test score I received. I loved them so much, but I could only handle so much. The stress ate me alive, but I silently continued to work hard.

Living under this stress is the biggest ongoing challenge of my life thus far. Until last year, I never understood why my parents expected so much from me. Finally being old enough to understand my parent’s point of view, I realize that they set these high expectations in the hopes that one day, all of the pain and struggles it took to get to America will pay off. Since then, I’ve overcome the high expectations of my parents by converting their pressure into a fireball of ambition and motivation, deeply ingrained in my mentality.

This intense desire to succeed in America as a second-generation immigrant is something that has and always will fuel my academic drive. As the first person in my family to go to college in America, I’ve made it my life aspiration to succeed in academics in the honor of my family-- a decision made by me.

UC PIQ #6: Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. (350 words max)

Understanding the past helps us make better choices in today’s society. History provides us with the views of people and politics, the ethnic origin of people, and much more. At the base of all history, there is an intensive culmination of research which hopes to address or bring light to a story.

My passion for history began while digging deep into own family’s story, researching the history of Latin America, and the origins of the city I was raised in.

For example, when I first saw my favorite show Avatar The Last Airbender, I spent hours researching the mythology of the show which in the process made me learn about the philosophy of China: daoism, Confucius, and the mandate of heaven. Anything can be put within a historical framework to understand the context; every decision, tv show, and law has a history and that is exactly what I love. History forces us to take into account the voices of the past before we can attempt to plan for the future.

History has helped me become a more effective writer for the school paper. It has made me think like a attorney, revisiting old cases, and writing up a winning argument in a mock trial. Thinking like a historian has helped me make sense of the current political climate and motivated me to help start Students For Liberty, at my school’s campus where political ideologies are shared respectfully.

Learning, about history drives my inquisitive nature — I demonstrated this desire by volunteering at a local museum to learn more about the origins of my community in Carson. Ultimately, learning about the Dominguez family who established the Harbor Area of LA.

In terms of academics and performance, I have passed both of my history AP exams in World and U.S. history — being the 2nd person in my school’s history to do so. Studying history in highschool has nurtured my love for social science, which I hope to continue in college and throughout my life.

Ever since I was little, I have possessed a unique fascination for nature and the way it interacts with itself. As I sat in the prickly seats of old tour buses and the bilingual tour guide has silenced himself for the dozens of passengers that have closed their curtains and fallen into deep slumber, I would keep my eyes glued to the window, waiting to catch a glimpse of wild animals and admiring the beautiful scenery that mother nature had pieced together. At Outdoor Science Camp, while most of my friends were fixated on socializing and games, I was obsessed with finding every organism in the book. Nothing else caught my attention quite like ecology.

As high school dragged on and the relentless responsibilities, assignments, and tests washed away the thrill of learning, ecology was one interest that withstood the turmoil. At the end of a draining day, I would always enjoy relaxing to articles detailing newly discovered species or relationships between species.

This past summer, I was able to further this interest when a unique opportunity to volunteer abroad caught my eye. Flying over to the beautiful tropical shorelines of the Dominican Republic, I was able to dive into the frontlines of the battle against climate change, dwindling populations, and habitat destruction brought about by mankind, and I enjoyed every moment of it.

While everyone was obviously ecstatic about snorkeling in the crystal blue waters, only I was able to retain that same excitement about trekking through knee thick mud and mosquito infested forests to replant mangrove trees. While tracking animal populations, my heart leaped at the sight of every new species that swam right in front of my eyes. Even when it came to the dirty work of building structures to rebuild coral and picking up trash along the beach, I always found myself leading the pack, eager to start and do the most.

From this experience, I realized that pursuing the field of ecology was what I could picture myself doing far into the future, and this was how I was going to impact the world.

UC PIQ #7: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? (350 words max)

Originally I saw volunteer work as a nuisance. I felt that it was an unnecessary "requirement" for college. I felt that someone decided to do volunteer work while in high school and now it has become the norm and is essentially required for college. Once I began to get involved, however, I found a true appreciation for the work I was doing.

I loved helping people and, as always, wanted to challenge myself. I worked at the Bellflower Volunteer center and tutored kids every day available, as well as helping out with large special events put on by the city. I then joined Key Club and made it my mission to attend every single event no matter what; even going to the lengths to walk for 4 hours starting at 5 in the morning (it was still dark outside) for a 2-hour beach clean up. I then became Service Event Coordinator and also made it my mission to have an event every week, while attending all of them, while still working at the Volunteer Center. I also started a tutoring program in math at my school as I really enjoy helping my peers academically.

It always warmed my heart to see fellow ninjas( our division mascot) at events I had planned, friends and neighbors at Bellflower events, and CSF members at tutoring.I am always willing to help people with anything. If someone needs my help I will stop whatever I am doing to help in any way that I can. Lending a helping hand is an important part of our society; however, a helping hand cannot do anything if the other hand does not reach for it as well. We need to be able to help ourselves first before others can help us. I tried to create a community where I could help people, but also people could help themselves so that there is no reason for anyone to not be able to achieve their goals and aspirations.

Throughout my childhood, the phrases “get good grades” and “make money” constantly harassed my every waking moment. Life seemed pointless, a never-ending cycle of trying to make more money to create artificial happiness. However, through partaking in my middle school’s ASB, I discovered my love for helping others, and I realized that I wanted to make my life about changing the world and leaving behind a better future for the generations to come.

In an attempt to live up to this philosophy, I have performed hundreds of hours of community service. From volunteering at a senior home to distributing food to the homeless, there is no doubt that I have made a substantial impact on those around me.

Despite all this, my most significant contributions are the ones that take place every day and are often undocumented. Picking up trash, staying long after my job is complete to help other groups, or even saying, “Thank you. Have a nice day,” to anyone who has provided a service for me are just a few examples. While they seem insignificant, these small actions add up.

However, above all, my biggest contribution is building meaningful connections with the people around me and making sure they realize how special and important they are to me and everyone else. In nurturing those who are less experienced, assisting those who are struggling with their emotions or their studies, and inspiring those who have untapped potential, I am not merely applying a band-aid on a wound, but elevating a whole community around me to tackle and prevent ailments the next decades will bring.

Years from now, I will likely have forgotten about my modest academic achievements. However, the memories of seeing someone I had mentored blossom into a strong leader and the smiles and laughter of someone I’ve helped battle through depression will forever be ingrained in my mind.

Serving food at school carnivals, embellishing the local marsh, tutoring students after school, and discharging patients at my local hospital were some of the ways I actively supported my city. However, a distinct way of being engaged in my community involved being selected for the Youth Development Program last summer. This organization works with the Torrance Refinery and selects thirty out of hundreds of applicants. The first week of this program involved activities that trained students for college and eventually their careers by making them adept in communication, leadership, and teamwork skills. For the next four weeks, students were assigned a specific job around the City of Torrance and Torrance Unified School District (TUSD).

I was placed in the TUSD Information Technology Department, along with six other students, and we essentially helped deal with technology-based issues around the district. Even though my professional desire incorporates biology and chemistry, I had a compelling interest and math and technology. I gave back to my community by utilizing the technological skills I gained at work. My colleagues and I traveled daily to several schools around the district and assisted in technological advancements: testing network ports and preparing schools for newer phones, imaging and updating new laptops and desktops, and arranging and setting up new computer labs and Chrome book carts.

Today, many people globally use technological and visual aids to assist their education. My summer job also allowed me to make a difference in the education of others. With the faster internet, newer telephones and computers, teachers could instruct more efficiently and students can be educated more effectively, thus improving their academic performance in the future. This program helped me a lot by boosting my teamwork and leadership skills, which will be extremely valuable as I will be pursuing many president/vice-president positions in my senior year. However, this program has allowed me to make a stronger impact on other people rather than myself; I feel delighted that my work in summer will be beneficial to twenty-thousand students across Torrance.

UC PIQ #8: Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? (350 words max)

In 2011, I started at a newly built school spanning sixth to twelfth grade. The school’s inception was not the greatest with gang culture and issues plaguing the school and nearby community. From this moment I knew wanted to make a change, improving the school and local community.

For example, two years ago a bicyclist was crushed by a container truck across the street from my school, several peers of mine and I advocated for a bike lane to get installed on the street to protect cyclists from the busy traffic. I worked day and night for three weeks using my connection with the city’s public works director to meet with city officials and make a change. I looked for solutions and ways to improve my community and lead the charge to better our street. When we met with city officials they agreed and ultimately approved our bike lane proposal. This civic action started with a group of three concerned high school students, in which I helped facilitate the conversations resulting into a bike lane project, that will be built the summer of 2018 after I graduate high school. Ultimately helping solve an issue in my community.

Using my influence as part of the Associated Student Body I advocated for a new medical academy on my school’s campus to address the growing interest in medicine and health careers of many students at my school. While I am not personally interested in a health related field, I recognized that many students at my school did and teachers agreed. I came in as an intermediary, who because of my position in ASB was also a member of my School’s Shared Leadership Council (SLC), through these means I motivated other ASB officers to support the academy’s inception and after a grueling amount of meetings in which we went through logistics the academy was approved for the benefit of students.

I am a student who will attend a UC pursuing my passions in journalism, education, and history; while being an involved student making the campus a better place than when I first arrived.

Rather than relying on pure intellect, I choose to excel through continual self-improvement, my ability to overpower obstacles, and an unrelenting force of determination. There are thousands of students smarter than me, students with better test scores, students with more volunteer hours, and quite possibly, a more socially acceptable sense of humor. I can assert, however, that my determination and ambition is hard to match.

I am willing to look in the face of the impossible without fear; in fact, the only emotion flowing through my body would be excitement. There are thousands of intelligent students, however many are unable or are unwilling to utilize their full potential. Although not a genius, I have shown my ability to improve drastically in capability over time.

At some point in my middle school career I was not technically supposed to still be enrolled because my grades were too low; now I'm on track to be valedictorian of my class. I am willing to do whatever it takes to meet my goal; if there were a service event across the country I would be willing to walk the entire way; if I could take a million AP's I would. I understand that it is a big jump to go from Bellflower High School to a UC in terms of academic difficulty; however, that is part of the excitement. I am not afraid of failure, it does nothing but make me stronger. Am I capable of making a jump of such a magnitude? It is not my judgment to make; I am only here to try.

The spin-the-wheel slows down and eventually stops at ‘try again next time’. That is, until I secretly push it one slot over to ‘princess tiara’. As the child hurries away to the next carnival game with the tiara in her hair, her mom turns back at me with a warm smile and mouths the words “thank you”. Seeing genuine happiness in the people of my community while volunteering at events such as my school carnival always remind me why I love my community so much.

I hold a lot of pride in how I’ve become a prominent figure in my community. From volunteering at festivals for my local elementary school to becoming employed by the City of American Canyon Parks and Recreation Department, I relish being in the hub of the community. I love our annual Fourth of July parades and Easter egg hunts, where I am stopped every 15 minutes to catch up with the crazy kids I worked with at summer camp or even just with the staff I’ve met from school. Growing up and connecting with such a diverse community is and will always be a large part of who I am. From kindergarten up until my senior year of high school, both my small community and I as an individual have grown immensely. By volunteering at local events, connecting with the people of my community, and finally getting employed by my city, I know that I have contributed to the successful growth of my community.

Although I really love my community here in the small town of American Canyon, I cannot help but think of the other great communities that I can potentially be a part of as well. I believe that by going to the University of California, I will be able to thrive in the liveliness of the communities that the campuses are well-known for. A major contribution I believe that I can bring to the University of California is integrating, being involved in, and building the school’s community so that both I and the school can grow together for each other.

What can you learn from these UC Berkeley essays?

If you want to get into UC Berkeley in 2022, you need to write great essays that help make you stand out. From these 18 Berkeley essays that worked, here are some takeaways:

• Use specific examples of places and events (name them) ( #8 , #17 )
• Tell a story ( #6 , #18 , #7 )
• Demonstrate your background, identity, or culture ( #3 , #15 , #4 )

If you enjoyed these UC Berkeley essays, you'll also like reading our top UCLA essays that worked. They answer the same PIQ prompts, but quite differently.

Applying to other public universities? Check out these awesome University of Michigan essays.

Let me know, which UC Berkeley essay was your favorite and why?

Meet the Author

Ryan Chiang

I'm Ryan Chiang and I created EssaysThatWorked.com - a website dedicated to helping students and their families apply to college with confidence & ease. We publish the best college admissions essays from successful applicants every year to inspire and teach future students.

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How I got in: 2 college students share the essays that got them into University of California, Berkeley

• Personal essays are a crucial part of college admissions and are often one of the best ways students can stand out in a crowded applicant field where acceptance is increasingly dictated by numbers and test scores.
• No two essays are the same, and it can be difficult to determine what specific colleges and universities want out of their essays.
• To shed some light on this process, Insider is reaching out to students all around the world and asking them to share the essay that got them into college.
• The week, Insider spoke to a senior and a sophomore at UC Berkeley who shared their success stories.
• Visit Insider's homepage for more stories.

The dreaded college essay. For many high school seniors, those few hundred words can manifest into an unyielding sense of existential, unwavering angst. They might seem daunting, but these few paragraphs often present one of the best opportunities for students to write honestly and express themselves in a college application process dominated by standardized tests, high school transcripts, and other numbers first metrics.

Knowing what to write about, or how to write it, can be challenging. Luckily, millions of other students have already gone through the process. To shed some much-needed light on what types of essays work for which schools, Insider is reaching out to students from all around the world and publishing the essays that got them into their dream schools. This week, Insider took a look at the University of California at Berkeley.

UC Berkeley is the most competitive public school in the United States 

UC Berkeley is one of nine schools that fall under the "University of California" umbrella. While many of the UC schools are competitive, none are more difficult to get into than the Berkeley location. According to data released by the school , just over 89,000 students applied last year and only 13,558 were offered admissions — an acceptance rate of 15.1%. 

The California university consistently appears listed next to other "elite" schools like Harvard, Stanford, and Princeton but it differs from these competitors in one key area: UC Berkeley is a public school. The school is also massive, with just about 42,000 undergraduates and over 350 degree programs. 

In addition to an application,  high school transcript, and standardized test scores, first-year applicants are presented with eight "personal insight questions." Students answer four of these and each are around 350 words long. A full listing of the prompts used for the 2018-2019 admissions cycle can be viewed here. 

Insider reviewed over half a dozen admissions essays from current UC Berkeley students. While their exact answers differed depending on the questions they answered and their own writing style, all of them tended to focus in on personal experiences. The best essays Insider reviewed showed off the students' writing chops and gave the reader a quick glimpse into the applicant's mind. 

Here's one of the essay questions prospective Berkeley students are asked to answer. 

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

In his vivid response, UC Berkeley senior Robbie Li used the space to revisit his time as a foreign exchange student at St. Andrew's High School in Austin, Texas. (Robbie is an international student from Shanghai, China.)

I kept trembling; the thirty-second-long standing ovation overwhelmed me. I stepped up to the front of the stage, took a bow towards the chapel full of students and teachers, and felt incredibly relieved and proud. Speaking out the hard truth about a community I so loved was no easy task, but I was glad that I made it through.

  Two months before my exchange year ended at St. Andrew's, the upper school chaplain came to me and invited me to deliver a senior homily during a chapel service. "We all would love to hear your perspective," he said. What an honor. I agreed immediately, promising him a good talk and gave him a big smile. However, when I started to craft my ten-minute script, I fell into utter bewilderment. 

It was not that I had nothing to say about this community; a year's observation gave me more than enough material. I knew I wanted to direct people's attention to the issue of inclusion, telling them how grueling my first few months were as a newcomer, and encouraging them to open up their worlds for the next new kid on campus. But I had a huge concern – the topic was so drenched with personal feelings that it might come off as a cacophonous accusation, one of those I-was-struggling-but-no-one-cared complaints. I did have a difficult time at the beginning, but it was nobody's fault. I would hate to see my friends take upon themselves for the institutionalized indifference; I would hate to see them suffer.

I could always turn to safer and easier topics - talk about Texan stereotypes, for instance. Such analysis from the standpoint of a foreign student would definitely bring sensational amusement. A love letter to football would work as well; everyone loves football here in Austin. I gave both topics a try, but the more I wrote, the more I felt the urge to go back to the discussion over inclusion. "What the community needed to hear must be said," I decided. Never shall I let myself choose what is safe over what is important. I had to be audacious in the face of such a decision, even if it meant coming across as reckless to the entire school. 

In my speech, I poured my heart out. I talked about the agony of being left alone on campus in September, the joy of being surprisingly coronated homecoming prince that same month, and most importantly, the profound confusion in between. I said I really wondered why a community as friendly as St. Andrew's could make a person feel so isolated at one point. I proposed that we make a difference together and make our friendliness more explicit. After all, no one should feel deserted.

The speech was a success. Compliments and applause and hugs enveloped me, but those were not my biggest takeaways. What defined this experience was the risk I took in hope of prompting a positive change. It felt great because I was brave.

In another essay question, UC Berkeley provided students with space to respond to a more open-ended question. 

"Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?"

By specifically including the words "beyond what has already been shared in your application," this essay asks the student to write more personally about themselves. Questions framed like this allow students the ability to describe a part of themselves that might not be fully captured by the typical dehumanizing application process. 

UC Berkeley electrical engineering, computer science, and economics sophomore Fuzail Shakir decided to tell a brief, but honest essay questioning what it means to be part of a community. 

I look around at my room, dimly lit by a yellow light. On the table in the corner, buried under a jumble of physics textbooks and notes, was a picture of a beaming Indian family of four standing in front of the Golden Gate Bridge. Tacked up on the board were an array of pamphlets from American colleges. On the opposite wall was a poster of Muhammad Ali standing over a knocked-out Sonny Liston after the infamous "anchor punch," the crowd stunned to silence. 

My mom shouted something incoherent, followed by a quick translation into English. Yes, I am an Indian who does not know Hindi. What else would you expect? I have lived my whole life in Saudi Arabia, visited more cities in the USA than India, and have studied in an American school, surrounded by American teachers and American friends. 

Am I Indian, Saudi, or American?

A few years ago, I would have said none. And yet, standing in line for Saudi customs in the "Foreign Passports" section was puzzling. I felt out of place. 

Deep down, I feared being stuck with that label, carrying it around wherever I went: "Foreigner". 

Today I still answer, none. I choose not to be defined by where I live or what passport I have or what language I speak. I choose to embrace the ambiguity as who I am.

Take a look at my room. The farrago of cultures embodies obscurity and characterizes my international life, and I have learned to embrace it. That is who I am: a distinctive viewpoint — an amalgamation of thoughts and ideas, a "melting pot", if you will, of cultures from around the world. That's the community to which I belong: those who don't fit in. 

Did your college essay help you snag a spot at your dream school? If so, we'd love to hear about it. Email this reporter at mdegeurin@businessinsider to discuss sharing your story.

• Oxford University offers the 'world's hardest test' — here's how to answer the questions
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Successful UC Berkeley Essays

Uc berkeley essays →, uc berkeley mentors →.

UC PIQ: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? | Sabria

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UC PIQ: Describe an example of your leadership experience | Sabria

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UC PIQ: What do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? | Tevin

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the

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Every piece we write is researched and vetted by a former admissions officer. Read about our mission to pull back the admissions curtain.

Blog > Essay Examples , UC Essays > 9 Outstanding UC Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

9 Outstanding UC Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Kylie Kistner, MA Former Willamette University Admissions

Key Takeaway

We talk a lot about essays in the college application process. And for good reason. Essays are one of the most critical parts of your application, and the University of California Personal Insight Questions are no different. Even though they’re quite different from personal statements or supplemental essays , UC essays serve a similar purpose: to help admissions officers get to know you and envision you on their campus.

But the tricky thing about UC essays is that they have a very particular style and form. If you don’t write your UC essays in the right way, you risk tanking your application.

Writing them the right way, however, can land you in the admit pile.

Let's start by looking at an example essay. Then we'll dive into the prompts themselves, go over some strategy, and and look at even more examples. Ready?

UC Example Essay - Prompt #7

We’ve got an extra example for Prompt #7: . This one comes from the Essay Academy , our digital college essay course. It’s about a student’s initiative to bring literacy to their community. Take a look:

This writer makes it very clear what community they’re talking about. They state the problem (libraries closing down), their solution (filling the library gap through book club), and the action steps they took to make their community a better place.

Along the way, we clearly see their strengths: they are willing to take initiative and to think critically about what the community needs. The essay also answers the entire prompt and meets the style and tone requirements of UC essays. It’s clear, action-oriented, and to-the-point. Excellent!

Now, let's actually take a look at the prompts.

The UC Personal Insight Question Prompts

The University of California system, which consists of nine campuses across the state, requires students to apply directly via their institutional application portal. That means that you won’t be submitting your Common Application to them or writing school-specific supplemental essays. Instead, you’ll choose four of the following eight prompts to respond to.

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

Once you have your prompts chosen, the essays themselves should be no greater than 350 words each.

Together, your essays should be different but cohesive enough to tell a fairly complete story of who you are.

Before we get to the examples, we have a few tips to keep you on track.

How to Write the UC Personal Insight Questions

Okay, so we actually have a whole other comprehensive guide to the UC essays that breaks down the process in extreme detail.

So for now, we’ll just go over the essentials.

What’s helpful about the UC PIQs is that we don’t have to guess what admissions officers are looking for—the UCs tell us directly in the Points of Comprehensive Review . Read through all thirteen points, but pay special attention to #10. That’s where your essays will be doing the heaviest lifting.

With that in mind, there are four rules for writing UC essays that you should stick to like glue:

Answer the prompt.

We’ll say it again for the people in the back: answer the prompt! The UC essay prompts ask very specific questions and contain multiple parts. If you misinterpret the prompt, you may end up writing the completely wrong essay.

You might find that diagramming or annotating the prompts helps you pull out the important pieces. Break down what each of your chosen prompts asks you to do, and list out all the questions in order. That way, you’ll make sure you’re not missing anything.

Skip the fluff.

Your personal statement likely has some creative descriptions or metaphors. You may have even incorporated figurative or poetic language into your supplementals. And that’s great. In fact, that’s encouraged (within reason, of course).

But UC essays are different. They’re all business.

Whereas your personal statement might open with an attention-catching hook that describes a scene in vivid detail, your UC essays should jump straight in. In general, your essay should be organized in a clear way that tells a straightforward story.

Focus on action steps.

As we saw in the Points of Comprehensive Review, admissions officers want to learn about how your concrete experiences have shaped you. That means that your essays should revolve around action steps rather than, say, 350 words of intense personal reflection. What those action steps should look like will depend on the prompts you’ve chosen. But by the end of your essay, your admissions officers should know what you’ve done and why.

Show a strength.

In the UC essays, it’s easy to get caught up in the details of the prompt and style of the essay. But don’t lose sight of the purpose of any college essay in the process: to showcase a strength to your admissions officers.

Every UC essay you write should correspond with a specific strength. That might be wisdom, artistry, good judgement, entrepreneurship, leadership—you get the idea.

Let’s say you want one of your essays to demonstrate leadership. The idea isn’t that you come out and say, “This shows that I am a leader.” Instead, by the end of the essay, after reading about everything you’ve done and reflected on, your admissions officers should sit back in their chair and say, “Wow, that student is a leader.” You’ll see what we mean in the examples.

Because of all these golden rules, your UC essays will look quite different than your Common Application essay or supplementals. They’ll probably look quite different from any essay you’ve written.

That’s where examples come in handy. Ready to dive in?

UC Prompt 1: Leadership

1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.

Prompt 1 Example Essay

When we moved to a new neighborhood, my dad always complained about the house next to us. Full of weeds and random objects, it had clearly been neglected(( Notice how, at least compared with common application personal essays, the tone of this essay is much more staid?)) .

I didn’t pay much attention to his complaints until one day when I saw that our neighbor was an elderly man. He was struggling to bring his trash to the bins outside. Suddenly, it all clicked. If taking out the garbage was a challenge, then surely he wasn’t able to do yard work. That’s why it looked neglected.

My dad always taught me that leadership isn’t about giving orders. It’s about doing what needs to be done(( A direct, succinct definition of leadership.)) . With this advice in mind, I decided that I would help our neighbor.

After my realization, I went and knocked on our neighbor’s door. I introduced myself and learned that his name was Hank. When the time was right, I informed him that I’d be cutting our grass the following weekend and would love to cut his as well. Hank initially refused.

Speaking with Hank, I learned that leadership is also about listening to people’s needs(( Showing a lesson from the experience.)) . In that moment, Hank needed to be reassured that I wanted to help. I told him it would be easy for me to cross over to his yard while I had the equipment out. He finally agreed.

The next Saturday, I got to work. The job would be bigger than I expected. All the objects needed to be picked up before I could mow. I decided to enlist the help of my two younger siblings. At first, they said no. But a good leader knows how to inspire, so I told them about Hank and explained why it was important to help. Together, we cleaned up the yard. Now, each time I mow our lawn, I mow Hank’s afterward.

Through this experience, I learned that leadership is about seeing problems and finding solutions. Most importantly, it’s about attitude and kindness(( The author of this essay does a good job staying focused on a clear definition.)) . The neighborhood is grateful that the eyesore is gone, Hank is grateful for the help, and I am grateful for my new friend.

Word Count: 343

UC Essay Checklist

Does the writer convey a strength?

Yes. The writer shows initiative in seeking out the neighbor and willingness to help in all the hard work they did.

Is every part of the prompt answered?

Yes. Since this prompt has an “or,” we know that the writer doesn’t have to meet every single criterion listed. They respond to the “positively influenced others” part of the prompt, which we can see through their interactions with their neighbor.

Does the writer adhere to UC conventions?

Yes. The essay is straightforward and clearly organized. The writer lists action steps in chronological order.

UC Prompt 2: Creativity

2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

Prompt 2 Example Essay

As a cellist, I express my creativity through music(( Directly answering the prompt up front. )) . Whether I’m playing in a symphony, chamber orchestra, quartet, or solo performance, I bring my art to the world with my instrument. My creativity has transformed me from a small child playing out of tune to a solo artist featured in my state’s youth symphony.

I’ve loved music from a young age, and I began playing the cello when I was six years old. What began as a hobby to keep an energetic child engaged has become my life’s purpose.

At first, I only played along with my private lesson teacher, Ms. Smith. I loved dancing my fingers across the fingerboard, plucking the strings, and making screeching noises with my bow. Ms. Smith told my parents that I had promise but needed to develop discipline. Despite my young age, I listened. By the time I reached middle school, I had made principal cellist in my school’s orchestra. Leading a section of fellow cellists brought my creativity to a whole new level. Not only was I expressing myself through my own music, but I also expressed myself through my leadership. With a subtle nod or an expressive sway, I learned to shape the music those behind me played. I felt most comfortable and free when I was playing my cello.

That feeling only grew as I moved into high school. In ninth grade, I landed my first solo. With it came a new creative sensation: stage fright(( This part of the essay distracts a bit from the main theme.)) . Until then, I’d only experienced positive emotions while playing. I needed to make solo performance more positive. With endless practice and exercises like playing for the public on the sidewalk, I learned that solo performance is simply a way to share my love of music with those around me.

Now, as principal cellist of my state’s youth orchestra, I jump at the chance to perform any solo I can get. Getting to this point has taken me countless late nights practicing in my bedroom and weekends spent in rehearsals. But without my cello to express my creative side, I wouldn’t be me.

Word Count: 347

Yes. The writer is an artist—a musician specifically. Their creativity shines through.

Yes. This prompt is pretty straightforward: “Describe how you express your creative side,” which the writer does by describing their love of the cello. Notice how the writer doesn’t just say they’re creative because they play the cello. They describe that creativity in detail.

Mostly. The short paragraph about stage fright takes us on a slight detour from the prompt. To make this essay even better, the writer could have eliminated that anecdote or reframed it to be more about creative expression.

UC Prompt 3: Talent or Skill

3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

Prompt 3 Example Essay

How many toes does an armadillo have? What were the main causes of the Crimean War? Who discovered atoms? When my friends or family have questions, they come to me for answers. I am an expert researcher. Although my passion for research began as a fun hobby, it has evolved into one of my greatest skills(( The writer opens with an interesting but not too out-there hook and then gets straight to answering the prompt.)) .

My first real mystery came when I was in ninth grade. My mom wanted to track down an old friend from high school but hadn’t had any luck searching on her own. Having grown up with the internet, I was my mom’s best chance. Not sure where to begin, I took to YouTube tutorials. Using the few family details my mom remembered, I tracked down the friend’s brother then found the friend’s married name(( Here’s a great example of what the skill looks like.)) . Alas–we found her on social media. I felt triumphant as I saw the happiness wash over my mom’s face.

Since then, my skill has grown exponentially(( And here the writer gets at the “developed and demonstrated the talent over time” part of the prompt.)) . Combining my natural curiosity with my love of history, I’ve advanced my research skills by volunteering with my local library for the past two years. I have learned about how keywords and search engines work, practiced cataloging and archiving, and waded my way through the intricacies of the library’s database technology. Suddenly, researching wasn’t just about finding people’s Facebook profiles. It was about having any information I wanted to find at my fingertips.

Access to information is more important now than ever. That’s why I decided to put my research knowledge to work. Part of being a good researcher is teaching others how to access information too, so I founded the SOHS Research Club. We begin each meeting by raising the hardest question we can think of, and I use the projector in the library to walk club members through my research process. Members have all gone on to share their knowledge with their friends and family. The SOHS Research Club has spread information literacy to my whole community(( Gesturing to the greater significance of the skill)) .

Looking ahead to all the ways my research skills will improve in college, I know that I’ll be ready to find an answer for anything.

Word Count: 350

Yes. We see that they’re not only skilled at research but also that they want to support their community.

Yes—but. The prompt asks about your greatest talent or skill . It also asks how you have developed and demonstrated that talent over time. The writer does answer these questions, but I’d like to see more about when the SOHS Research Club took place as part of this development.

Yes. The essay is clear, organized, and to-the-point.

UC Prompt 4: Educational Opportunity or Barrier

4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

Prompt 4 Example Essay

I jump at any chance to get my hands dirty. I am an aspiring ecologist. I’m lucky enough to live in a college town, so I was elated last semester when a postdoctoral fellow invited me to join her research team(( Okay, looks like this writer is addressing the “how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity” part of the prompt.)) .

Although at first(( Good signposting and transitions. UC essays should be clear and straightforward. This writer easily walks us through the step-by-step of what happened.)) I was intimidated by the prospect of working alongside college students and faculty, I decided to embrace the opportunity to learn what being an ecologist is really like.

The project involved studying Asclepias syriaca populations in my local park. More commonly known as Milkweed, this flower species has a long and important history in North America, particularly for Indigenous people. After learning about its history as a food source, medicine, and critical part of ecological function, I couldn’t wait to be part of the research.

As a research assistant, I helped with data collection. We began by using twine to section off population groups in the park. Then, every week I returned to the populations to collect information about population growth. I counted the number of flowers in the population, and, with a clear ruler, I measured and recorded the height of every individual flower.

The work was tedious. On my hands and knees, I squinted at the millimeter markings, trying to obtain the most accurate measurements possible. Each week, I’d return home with muddy jeans and a smile on my face.

Participating in this research project taught me that being an ecologist is about much more than looking at plants(( Going beyond the research to reflect on lessons learned—nice!)) . It’s also about learning from mentors and engaging with and having respect for the historical context of the plants we study. Being a scientist is also not as glamorous as movies like Jurassic Park lead on. Instead, science requires careful planning, patience, and hard work.

But what I learned the most from this educational opportunity is that science doesn’t exist in some nebulous place. It exists right here in front of me. I look forward to continuing to use science to serve my community.

Word count: 328

Yes. We see their intellectual curiosity and willingness to learn through their research journey.

Yes. We have another “or” prompt! This time they’ve chosen to focus on an “educational opportunity,” which is the research project. They certainly explain how they “took advantage” of it.

Yes. There’s no fluff, just a coherent narrative focused on actions the writer took.

UC Prompt 5: Challenge

5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

Prompt 5 Example Essay

While most kids fear monsters, my greatest fear has always been tests. Since elementary school, I’ve dealt with incapacitating test anxiety. I’d sit down for a spelling test and faint from anxiety(( Straight into answering the prompt)) . Math tests in middle school would make me run to the bathroom ill. By the time I reached high school, where the testing stakes became even higher, my test anxiety increased exponentially.

More than normal feelings of nervousness or anxiousness, it is a diagnosis I wrestle with daily. Test anxiety caused me to miss a number of tests that I had no option to re-take. It’s caused me to receive abysmal scores on standardized and state tests, which has had repercussions in the classes I’m allowed to take(( Strategically, this was a good prompt for this student to answer because it gives them a way to contextualize any poor grades they earned early in high school. It also gets at the “academic achievement” part of the prompt.)) . My test anxiety has been the greatest challenge of my life. In a school system so reliant on testing, it has completely affected my ability to achieve academically.

By the time I took the PSATs, I couldn’t even move my hand to write my name. I knew something had to change. I reached out for help. My mom knew I had been struggling but didn’t understand the extent of my illness. Together, we contacted my school counselor, who told us how to find a therapist.

With my doctors, I worked to mitigate the effects of my test anxiety on a medical and psychological level(( Action steps! This prompt requires you to talk about the specific steps you took to overcome the challenge. The writer does exactly that in this paragraph.)) . I began taking beta-blockers that helped slow my heart rate, thus tricking my body into being less anxious. Alongside that, I spent months working through the reasons my brain interpreted testing as such a threat. I learned to appreciate my intrinsic value instead of relying on external factors like test scores. And rather than viewing tests as chances to fail, I began to understand them as opportunities to showcase my growth.

Now, after two long years of effort, I can take any test with ease. Since learning how to manage my disorder, I’ve successfully taken my driver’s test, SATs and ACTs, and all seven of my AP exams. I’m looking forward to all the tests I’ll take in college(( And we end on a very positive note that shows lots of growth)) .

Yes—which is difficult with this prompt. The writer doesn’t get bogged down in the challenge of having test anxiety. Instead, they use this prompt as an opportunity to show a strength: resilience to overcome such a difficult problem.

Yes. And this prompt has multiple parts, too. It wants you to describe 1) a challenge, 2) the steps you’ve taken to overcome the challenge, and 3) how the challenge affected your academic achievement. This writer does all three.

Yes. The writer doesn’t provide any poetic descriptions or metaphors. They say what they mean.

UC Prompt 6: Academic Interest

6.  Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

Prompt 6 Example Essay

Sitting in front of my baby cousin, I held my hands in front of my face. I quickly snapped them down and exclaimed, “Peek-a-boo!” Delighted, he erupted into laughter. From the perspective of my more developed brain, this game is quite boring. It’s overly repetitive, and the outcome—my face reveal—is basic and consistent. But to a brain that hasn’t yet gone through the sensorimotor phase of development, the game is a downright hoot. What I perceive as boring is actually magic to a baby’s mind. Without the concept of object permanence, my cousin thinks that I disappear completely behind my hands. When my face returns, he marvels as I inexplicably materialize in front of him. It’s no wonder he can play peek-a-boo for hours.

Since I took IB Psychology my sophomore year, I have been fascinated with child psychology(( It takes a paragraph before we get to the prompt (which is too long), but I like the nerdiness the writer shows in the intro)) . No matter when or where we are born, we all undergo similar stages of development that help us understand the world around us. Imagine Albert Einstein chewing on a rock or Genghis Khan taking his first steps. Researching child development unlocks something universal and equalizing about the human experience.

Because of my interest in child psychology, I decided to get more involved with my community. I began by volunteering in a psychology lab at my local university. While there, I get our child participants settled before sessions. Occasionally I get to help with data collection. I also landed a job as a teacher’s aide at a nearby Head Start, where I feed lunches, play, and read. In both of these activities, I’ve learned so much about how to interact with toddlers, to think like they think, and to help them grow into kind and happy children(( This paragraph shows exactly how they’ve furthered their interest.)) .

My school doesn’t offer any additional psychology courses, so I took a community college class this summer. I’m looking forward to taking more advanced psychology classes as a psychology major, and I’m eager to bring the research skills I’ve been developing to one of the UC’s many child development labs. One day, I hope to use all these skills as a child therapist.

Word Count: 348

Yes. The student is very intellectually curious about child development—a perfect strength for this prompt.

Yes. The writer talks about an academic subject, child development, and describes how they advanced that interest through a research lab, classes, and a job at Head Start.

Yes—but. Overall, the essay does a great job adhering to UC essay conventions. But the first paragraph almost doesn’t. As it is, the writer stays focused on telling the story. However, it takes up quite a bit of space in the essay without really conveying much about the writer’s journey. If there were a metaphor or any poetic language in there, it would have been too far. Same goes for the snippet about Einstein and Genghis Khan—it adds personality but is close to overdoing it.

UC Prompt 7: School or Community

7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

Prompt 7 Example Essay

Nourishing loved ones by cooking for them is one of my biggest passions. But my hobby has become more difficult since moving to a food desert. Food deserts are areas without easy access to grocery stores or healthy foods. These disparities are clear in the school cafeteria, with the majority of students eating processed school lunches or packaged foods brought from home. I decided to do something about it.

The idea came to me one day as I made my way from AP Biology to my cooking elective. We needed a school community garden(( The writer sets up the stakes in the introduction so we truly understand the situation here)) . If we couldn’t access fresh foods in our neighborhood, then we would grow our own. We just needed a space to grow them and money to buy supplies.

I began by finding a spot to plant our garden. My friends and I walked around the entire school and decided that the courtyard would be the perfect place. After explaining my idea to the Assistant Principal, I got permission to proceed.

Next(( This paragraph is full of good action steps)) I raised money for the supplies. With $20 in seed money from my parents, which I promptly paid back, I drew and printed stickers to sell at lunch. The stickers were anthropomorphized vegetables. They cost $0.10 per sticker to make, and I sold them for $1.00 each. Soon enough, I had not only raised enough money to set up the garden, but I had rallied the whole school around my cause. Thirty of my classmates showed up, vegetable stickers on their water bottles, to help me plant the garden.

For the last year, we’ve maintained a spread of seasonal vegetables in the garden. We bring a basket to the cooking elective teacher each week so students can practice cooking with fresh vegetables, and we hold a daily farm stand at lunch(( And we see that they are legitimately improving their community)) . At the stand, students can grab whatever fresh produce they want to add to their lunch.

My school’s garden nourishes my community, and I am nourished every day by the fact that my efforts have made a true difference to those around me.

Word Count: 341

Yes. The writer shows really great initiative and community understanding in their willingness to start a community garden from scratch.

Yes. With only one question, this prompt is pretty straightforward. And the writer’s answer is simple: to make their school community a better place, they made a community garden.

Yes. The writer goes into detail about every step they took to make the community garden come to life. I especially like how the writer goes beyond these details to emphasize how much the community garden impacted the school community.

UC Prompt 8: Additional Information

8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California?

Prompt 8 Example Essay

When I posted a TikTok video of myself studying, I didn’t expect anyone but my friends to see it. But within hours, my video had gone viral— tens of thousands of people(( That’s a lot of people. This shows the magnitude and impact of the video.)) saw the carefully-crafted shots I’d taken of my desk setup and homework timelapse. The comment section flooded. People appreciated the work I’d put into curating the perfect desk. They thanked me for inspiring them to get started on their own homework. I was overwhelmed by the response.

At first I felt really shy. What if people from school saw it and made fun of me? I kept questioning myself so much that I completely froze. Finally, one comment caught my attention. It read, “I’ve been having a hard semester and can barely get myself out of bed, let alone to do my homework. But this is so calming! Maybe I’ll try.” That comment made me realize that it didn’t matter what people at my school thought. What mattered was that I loved making that video and it had made an actual difference in the lives of the people who saw it.

And that’s when I decided to make my mark on #StudyTok(( This is a pretty unique topic that wouldn’t have necessarily fit into the other prompt categories, which makes it a good candidate for prompt #8.)) . Since that first video, I’ve posted 318 others and accumulated over 35,000 followers(( More numbers to show impact)) . I’ve had more videos go viral and reach hundreds of thousands of people looking for work inspiration. Even the videos that some would see as “fails” still reach a couple hundred people. That may not be a big deal in the Internet world, but those same people would fill up my high school’s auditorium. My goal for every video is to make my viewers feel relaxed and able to take on whatever work they have to do. It helps me and my viewers complete our work.

These videos have made me more confident and organized, and I can’t wait to continue them in college. When I get an extra assignment or have to stay up late to finish a paper, I become excited instead of frustrated because I know that the little StudyTok community I’ve created will be there right alongside me.(( This conclusion drives home the what “makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the UC” part of the prompt.))

Yes. They show creativity through their video production and leadership through their huge community impact.

Mostly. This prompt is a tricky one to answer because its components aren’t as straightforward as the others. Through such a huge impact, the writer makes it implicitly clear why this story demonstrates that they are a good candidate for admissions to the UC, but the message could be more explicit.

Yes. The writer conveys the sequence of events in a clear and organized way, and they use good metrics to show the impact of their videos.

Key Takeaways

Did you catch our golden rules throughout? Yep. That’s what makes these essays stand out, and that’s what’ll make your essays stand out, too.

And even though these essays come from different students, hopefully you also got a sense of how an admissions officer reads a portfolio of essays for a single student.

Remember: just like your other applications, your overall goal for your UC application is to create a cohesive application narrative that shows your core strengths.

Having read all these essays, you’re now well on your way to writing your own. Try jumping into the Essay Academy or our UC essay writing guide  for help getting started.

Liked that? Try this next.

21 College Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)

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How to Write Supplemental Essays that Will Impress Admissions Officers

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First-year requirements

• Subject requirement (A-G)
• GPA requirement
• Admission by exception
• English language proficiency
• UC graduation requirements

Additional information for

• California residents
• Out-of-state students
• Home-schooled students

Transfer requirements

• Understanding UC transfer
• Preparing to transfer
• UC transfer programs
• Transfer planning tools

International applicants

• Applying for admission
• English language proficiency (TOEFL/IELTS)
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• Living accommodations
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AP & Exam credits

Applying as a first year

• Filling out the application
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Personal insight questions

• How applications are reviewed
• After you apply

Applying as a transfer

Types of aid

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• Who can get financial aid
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• You will have 8 questions to choose from. You must respond to only 4 of the 8 questions.
• Each response is limited to a maximum of 350 words.
• Which questions you choose to answer is entirely up to you. However, you should select questions that are most relevant to your experience and that best reflect your individual circumstances.

Keep in mind

• All questions are equal. All are given equal consideration in the application review process, which means there is no advantage or disadvantage to choosing certain questions over others.
• There is no right or wrong way to answer these questions. It’s about getting to know your personality, background, interests and achievements in your own unique voice.  
• Use the additional comments field if there are issues you'd like to address that you didn't have the opportunity to discuss elsewhere on the application. This shouldn't be an essay, but rather a place to note unusual circumstances or anything that might be unclear in other parts of the application. 

Questions & guidance

Remember, the personal insight questions are just that—personal. Which means you should use our guidance for each question just as a suggestion in case you need help. The important thing is expressing who you are, what matters to you and what you want to share with UC. 

1. Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. Things to consider: A leadership role can mean more than just a title. It can mean being a mentor to others, acting as the person in charge of a specific task, or taking the lead role in organizing an event or project. Think about what you accomplished and what you learned from the experience. What were your responsibilities?

Did you lead a team? How did your experience change your perspective on leading others? Did you help to resolve an important dispute at your school, church, in your community or an organization? And your leadership role doesn't necessarily have to be limited to school activities. For example, do you help out or take care of your family? 2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. Things to consider: What does creativity mean to you? Do you have a creative skill that is important to you? What have you been able to do with that skill? If you used creativity to solve a problem, what was your solution? What are the steps you took to solve the problem?

How does your creativity influence your decisions inside or outside the classroom? Does your creativity relate to your major or a future career? 3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? Things to consider: If there is a talent or skill that you're proud of, this is the time to share it.You don't necessarily have to be recognized or have received awards for your talent (although if you did and you want to talk about it, feel free to do so). Why is this talent or skill meaningful to you?

Does the talent come naturally or have you worked hard to develop this skill or talent? Does your talent or skill allow you opportunities in or outside the classroom? If so, what are they and how do they fit into your schedule? 4. Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced. Things to consider: An educational opportunity can be anything that has added value to your educational experience and better prepared you for college. For example, participation in an honors or academic enrichment program, or enrollment in an academy that's geared toward an occupation or a major, or taking advanced courses that interest you; just to name a few.

If you choose to write about educational barriers you've faced, how did you overcome or strive to overcome them? What personal characteristics or skills did you call on to overcome this challenge? How did overcoming this barrier help shape who you are today? 5. Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement? Things to consider: A challenge could be personal, or something you have faced in your community or school. Why was the challenge significant to you? This is a good opportunity to talk about any obstacles you've faced and what you've learned from the experience. Did you have support from someone else or did you handle it alone?

If you're currently working your way through a challenge, what are you doing now, and does that affect different aspects of your life? For example, ask yourself, How has my life changed at home, at my school, with my friends or with my family? 6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. Things to consider:  Many students have a passion for one specific academic subject area, something that they just can't get enough of. If that applies to you, what have you done to further that interest? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had inside and outside the classroom such as volunteer work, internships, employment, summer programs, participation in student organizations and/or clubs and what you have gained from your involvement.

Has your interest in the subject influenced you in choosing a major and/or future career? Have you been able to pursue coursework at a higher level in this subject (honors, AP, IB, college or university work)? Are you inspired to pursue this subject further at UC, and how might you do that?

7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? Things to consider: Think of community as a term that can encompass a group, team or a place like your high school, hometown or home. You can define community as you see fit, just make sure you talk about your role in that community. Was there a problem that you wanted to fix in your community?

Why were you inspired to act? What did you learn from your effort? How did your actions benefit others, the wider community or both? Did you work alone or with others to initiate change in your community? 8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? Things to consider:  If there's anything you want us to know about you but didn't find a question or place in the application to tell us, now's your chance. What have you not shared with us that will highlight a skill, talent, challenge or opportunity that you think will help us know you better?

From your point of view, what do you feel makes you an excellent choice for UC? Don't be afraid to brag a little.

Writing tips

Start early..

Give yourself plenty of time for preparation, careful composition and revisions.

Write persuasively.

Making a list of accomplishments, activities, awards or work will lessen the impact of your words. Expand on a topic by using specific, concrete examples to support the points you want to make.

Use “I” statements.

Talk about yourself so that we can get to know your personality, talents, accomplishments and potential for success on a UC campus. Use “I” and “my” statements in your responses.

Proofread and edit.

Although you will not be evaluated on grammar, spelling or sentence structure, you should proofread your work and make sure your writing is clear. Grammatical and spelling errors can be distracting to the reader and get in the way of what you’re trying to communicate.

Solicit feedback.

Your answers should reflect your own ideas and be written by you alone, but others — family, teachers and friends can offer valuable suggestions. Ask advice of whomever you like, but do not plagiarize from sources in print or online and do not use anyone's words, published or unpublished, but your own.

Copy and paste.

Once you are satisfied with your answers, save them in plain text (ASCII) and paste them into the space provided in the application. Proofread once more to make sure no odd characters or line breaks have appeared.

This is one of many pieces of information we consider in reviewing your application. Your responses can only add value to the application. An admission decision will not be based on this section alone.

Need more help?

Download our worksheets:

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Personal Insight Questions

As a vital part of your application, the personal insight questions—short-answer questions you will choose from—are reviewed by both the admissions and scholarship offices., at berkeley we use personal insight questions to:.

• Discover and evaluate distinctions among applicants whose academic records are often very similar
• Gain insight into your level of academic, personal and extracurricular achievement
• Provide us with information that may not be evident in other parts of the application

What we look for:

• Initiative, motivation, leadership, persistence, service to others, special potential and substantial experience with other cultures
• All achievement in light of the opportunities available to you
• How you confronted and overcame your challenges, rather than describing a hardship just for the sake of including it in your application
• What you learned from or achieved in spite of these circumstances

Academic achievement

For first-year applicants:

• Academic accomplishments, beyond those shown in your transcript

For transfer students:

• Include interest in your intended major, explain the way in which your academic interests developed, and describe any related work or volunteer experience.
• Explain your reason for transferring if you are applying from a four-year institution or a community college outside of California. For example, you may substantiate your choice of a particular major or your interest in studying with certain faculty on our campus.

How to answer your personal insight questions

• Thoughtfully describe not only what you’ve done, but also the choices you have made and what you have gained as a result.
• Allow sufficient time for preparation, revisions, and careful composition. Your answers are not evaluated on correct grammar, spelling, or sentence structure, but these qualities will enhance overall presentation and readability.

If you are applying…

• Your intended field of study
• Your interest in your specific major
• Any school or work-related experience
• for a scholarship, we recommend that you elaborate on the academic and extracurricular information in the application that demonstrates your motivation, achievement, leadership, and commitment .
• Discuss how the program might benefit you
• Tell us about your determination to succeed even though you may have lacked academic or financial support

Keep in mind

You can use the Additional Comments box to convey any information that will help us understand the context of your achievement; to list any additional honors awards, activities, leadership elements, volunteer activities, etc.; to share information regarding a nontraditional school environment or unusual circumstances that has not been included in any other area of the application. And, finally, after we read your personal insight questions, we will ask the question, “What do we know about this individual?” If we have learned very little about you, your answers were not successful.

• Personal Insight Questions (University of California)
• Personal Insight Question Writing Tips
• Leadership (video)
• What Leadership Looks Like

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UC Essay Examples for the Personal Insight Questions

Sample essays with explanations of their strengths and weaknesses

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• Ph.D., English, University of Pennsylvania
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Every applicant to one of the University of California campuses must write four short essays in response to the UC application's Personal Insight questions. The UC essay examples below reveal how two different students approached the prompts. Both essays are accompanied by an analysis of their strengths and weaknesses.

Features of a Winning UC Personal Insight Essay

The strongest UC essays present information that isn't available elsewhere in the application, and they paint the portrait of someone who will play a positive role in the campus community. Let your kindness, humor, talent, and creativity shine, but also make sure each of your four essays is substantive.

As you figure out your strategy for responding to the UC Personal Insight questions , keep in mind that it's not just the individual essays that matter, but also the full portrait of yourself that you create through the combination of all four essays. Ideally, each essay should present a different dimension of your personality, interests, and talents so that the admissions folks get to know you as a three-dimensional individual who has a lot to contribute to the campus community.

UC Sample Essay, Question #2

For one of her Personal Insight essays, Angie responded to question #2: Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

Here is her essay:

I’m not great at drawing. Even after taking the required art classes in elementary and middle school, I don’t really see myself becoming a famous artist anytime soon. I’m most comfortable creating stick figures and notebook doodles. However, my lack of innate talent hasn’t kept me from using drawing communicate or entertain through cartoons.

Now, like I said, the artwork itself isn’t going to win any awards, but that’s only part of my creative process. I draw cartoons to make my friends laugh, to make my siblings feel better if they’re having a bad day, to poke fun at myself. I don’t make cartoons to show off my artistic ability; I make them because I think they’re fun to create, and (so far) other people enjoy them.

When I was about seven or eight, my sister got dumped by her boyfriend unexpectedly. She was feeling really down about it, and I was trying to think of something I could do that would cheer her up. So I drew a (pretty bad) likeness of her ex, made better by some rather unflattering details. It made my sister laugh, and I like to think I helped her through her break-up, even if only a little bit. Since then, I’ve drawn caricatures of my teachers, friends, and celebrities, ventured a little into political cartooning, and started a series about my interactions with my idiotic cat, Gingerale.

Cartooning is a way for me to be creative and express myself. Not only am I being artistic (and I use that term loosely), but I’m using my imagination to create scenarios and figure out how how to represent people and things. I’ve learned what people find funny, and what is not funny. I’ve come to realize that my drawing skills are not the important part of my cartooning. What is important is that I’m expressing myself, making others happy, and doing something small and silly, but also worthwhile.

Discussion of UC Sample Essay by Angie

Angie's essay comes in at 322 words, a little below the 350-word limit. 350 words is already a small space in which to tell a meaningful story, so don't be afraid to submit an essay that's close to the word limit (as long as your essay isn't wordy, repetitive, or lacking substance).

The essay does a good job showing the reader a dimension of Angie that probably isn't apparent anywhere else in her application. Her love of creating cartoons wouldn't appear in her academic record or list of extracurricular activities . Thus, it's a good choice for one of her Personal Insight essays (after all, it's providing new insight into her person). We learn that Angie isn't just a good student who is involved in some school activities. She also has a hobby she is passionate about. Crucially, Angie explains why cartooning is important to her.

The tone of Angie's essay is also a plus. She has not written a typical "look how great I am" essay. Instead, Angie clearly tells us that her artistic skills are rather weak. Her honesty is refreshing, and at the same time, the essay does convey much to admire about Angie: she is funny, self-deprecating, and caring. This latter point, in fact, is the true strength of the essay. By explaining that she enjoys this hobby because of the happiness it brings other people, Angie comes across as someone who is genuine, considerate, and kind.

Overall, the essay is quite strong. It is clearly written, uses an engaging style , and is free of any major grammatical errors . It presents a dimension of Angie's character that should appeal to the admissions staff who read her essay. If there is one weakness, it would be that the third paragraph focuses on Angie's early childhood. Colleges are much more interested in what you have done in recent years than your activities as a child. That said, the childhood information connects to Angie's current interests in clear, relevant ways, so it does not detract too much from the overall essay.

UC Sample Essay, Question #6

For one of his University of California Personal Insight essays, Terrance responded to option #6: Describe your favorite academic subject and explain how it has influenced you .

Here is his essay:

One of my strongest memories in elementary school is rehearsing for the annual “Learning on the Move” show. The fourth graders put on this show every year, each one focusing on something different. Our show was about food and making healthy choices. We could pick which group to be in: dancing, stage design, writing, or music. I chose music, not because I was interested in it the most, but because my best friend had picked it.

I remember the music director showing us a long row of various percussion instruments, and asking us what we thought different foods would sound like. This was not my first experience in playing an instrument, but I was a novice when it came to creating music, deciding what the music meant, and what its intent and meaning was. Granted, choosing a güiro to represent scrambled eggs was not Beethoven writing his Ninth Symphony, but it was a start.

In middle school, I joined the orchestra, taking up the cello. Freshmen year of high school, I auditioned for, and was accepted into, the regional youth symphony. More importantly, though, I took two semesters of Music Theory my sophomore year. I love playing music, but I’ve learned that I love writing it even more. Since my high school only offers Music Theory I and II, I attended a summer music camp with a program in theory and composition. I learned so much, and I’m looking forward to pursuing a major in Music Composition.

I find writing music is a way for me to express emotions and tell stories that are beyond language. Music is such a unifying force; it’s a way to communicate across languages and borders. Music has been such a large part of my life—from fourth grade and on—and studying music and music composition is a way for me to create something beautiful and share it with others.

Discussion of UC Sample Essay by Terrance

Like Angie's essay, Terrance's essay comes in at a little over 300 words. This length is perfectly appropriate assuming all of the words add substance to the narrative. When it comes to the features of a good application essay , Terrance does well and avoids common pitfalls.

For Terrance, the choice of question #6 makes sense—he fell in love with composing music, and he is entering college knowing what his major will be. If you are like many college applicants and have a wide range of interests and possible college majors, you may want to steer clear of this question.

Terrance's essay does a good job balancing humor with substance. The opening paragraph presents an entertaining vignette in which he chooses to study music based on nothing more than peer pressure. By paragraph three, we learn how that rather serendipitous introduction to music has led to something very meaningful. The final paragraph also establishes a pleasing tone with its emphasis on music as a "unifying force" and something that Terrance wants to share with others. He comes across as a passionate and generous person who will contribute to the campus community in a meaningful way.

A Final Word on Personal Insight Essays

Unlike the California State University system , the University of California schools have a holistic admissions process. The admissions officers are evaluating you as a whole person, not just as numerical data related to test scores and grades (although both are important). The Personal Insight questions are one of the primary ways the admissions officers get to know you, your personality, and your interests.

Think of each essay as an independent entity, as well as one piece of a four-essay application. Each essay should present an engaging narrative that reveals an important aspect of your life as well as explain why the topic you've chosen is important to you. When you consider all four essays in combination, they should work together to reveal the true breadth and depth of your character and interests.

• Tips for the 8 University of California Personal Insight Questions
• UC Personal Statement Prompt #1
• The Length Requirements for the Common Application Essay in 2020-21
• Addressing Diversity in a College Application Essay
• Common Application Essay Option 3 Tips: Challenging a Belief
• Should an Application Essay Be Single-Spaced or Double-Spaced?
• Tips for the Pre-2013 Personal Essay Options on the Common Application
• Common Application Essay Option 4—Gratitude
• Tips for an Admissions Essay on an Influential Person
• "Gym Class Hero" - a Common Application Essay Sample for Option #3
• Sample Common Application Essay for Option #5
• College Application Essay - The Job I Should Have Quit
• How to Write a Great College Application Essay Title
• Tips for Writing an Essay on an Event That Led to Personal Growth
• 2020-21 Common Application Essay Option 4—Solving a Problem
• 5 Tips for a College Admissions Essay on an Important Issue

2023 Ultimate Guide: 20 UC Essay Examples

by Winning Ivy Prep Team | Mar 8, 2023 | UC Admissions , UC Personal Insight Essay Examples

Additional UC essay resources:

• Official UC Personal Insight Question prompts are here.
• Read our UC Essay / UC Personal Insight Essay Tips

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UC Berkeley Essay Prompts 2023-2024

By Eric Eng

Welcome to the guide on the UC Berkeley Essays for the 2023-2024 application season. If you’re applying to UC Berkeley, you already know it’s one of the top universities in the world. But getting in isn’t just about having great grades or test scores; your essays are just as important.

These short pieces of writing are your chance to show who you are beyond numbers and lists of activities. They allow you to share your thoughts, experiences, and ambitions with the admissions committee. In this guide, we’ll explore the prompts for this year and provide you with tips and strategies to craft essays that will catch the attention of the admissions officers and make a lasting impression.

Let’s get started on this journey to putting your best foot forward with UC Berkeley’s essays for the application cycle 2023-2024.

How Important are Supplemental Essays in the College Admissions Process?

Essays, particularly those for prestigious institutions like UC Berkeley , play a crucial role in the college admissions process. Here are three key points that highlight their importance:

1. Personalization and Individuality: UC Berkeley essays offer a unique opportunity for students to showcase their individuality, beyond just grades and test scores. This is a platform where they can express their personal narratives, life experiences, and specific interests that align with the school’s values and programs. A well-crafted essay can distinguish a student from the pool of applicants by providing a glimpse into their personality, creativity, and potential contributions to the campus community.

2. Demonstration of Fit: Essays specific to UC Berkeley for the years 2023-2024 allow students to tailor their responses to demonstrate how they are an ideal fit for the university. This involves not just speaking about what the school can offer them, but also what they can bring to the school.

A strong essay can connect a student’s aspirations, experiences, and values with UC Berkeley’s academic offerings, cultural ethos, and mission. This alignment showcases the student as not just academically capable but also as someone who will thrive and contribute positively to the campus environment.

3. Critical Thinking and Communication Skills: The ability to articulate thoughts effectively and persuasively is a key skill sought by top universities like UC Berkeley. The essay-writing process evaluates a student’s critical thinking, clarity in communication, and writing skills. An impressive essay demonstrates a student’s ability to present complex ideas coherently, argue a point of view, and engage the reader. These skills are indicative of a student’s readiness for college-level work and their potential for academic success.

Overall, essays are not just a formality in the college admissions process, especially for institutions like UC Berkeley. They provide a comprehensive picture of the applicant, highlighting their personality, fit for the university, and intellectual capabilities. A compelling essay can be a decisive factor in gaining UC Berkeley admission, making it an essential component of the application process for the years 2023-2024.

How Many Essay Prompts Does UC Berkeley Have?

For the 2023-2024 academic year, the University of California schools, including renowned institutions like UC Berkeley, UCLA , and UC San Diego, along with seven other campuses, have released their essay prompts for prospective students enrolling in 2024. Unlike many other major universities that utilize the Common Application, the UC system operates with its unique application process.

Students aspiring to join any of these UC campuses, including those crafting their UC Berkeley Essays 2023-2024, are required to write four essays . They have the liberty to choose these from a set of eight options . So, what exactly are the essay prompts for UC Berkeley in the 2023-2024 application cycle? Let’s delve into them!

What are the UC Essay Prompts?

If you’re applying to UC Berkeley or any University of California school, you’ll have to write answers to four personal insight questions . Each one should be 350 words long, and you can pick which ones you want to answer from a list of eight options.

1. Describe an example of a leadership experience in which you’ve positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time.

2. Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

3. What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

4. Describe how you’ve taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you’ve faced.

5. Describe the most significant challenge you’ve faced and the steps you’ve taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

6. Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you’ve furthered this interest inside and/or outside the classroom.

7. What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

8. Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you a strong candidate for admission to the University of California?

How to Write the UC Berkeley Essays

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time.

Being a leader isn’t just about having a title. It’s about guiding others, taking charge of a job, or leading a team on a project or event. Consider what you did and what you got out of it. What was your role?

Did you guide a group? How did leading others change how you see leadership? Did you solve a big problem at your school, place of worship, neighborhood, or a group you’re part of? Remember, being a leader isn’t just for school stuff. For instance, do you look after your family?

How to Respond:

Identify a Specific Leadership Experience: The first step is to recall a particular instance where the student demonstrated leadership. This could be in a formal setting like being a club president, a team captain, or an organizer of an event, or in an informal situation like leading a group project, resolving a conflict among peers, or volunteering in the community. The key is to choose an experience that had a significant impact on the student or those involved. The student should think about a situation that challenged them and where they had to use their initiative and leadership skills to make a difference.

1. Detail the Positive Influence and Conflict Resolution: Once the experience is chosen, the student should focus on how they positively influenced others. This involves explaining the actions they took to encourage, motivate, or guide others and the outcome of these actions. If the experience involved resolving disputes, the student should discuss how they approached the conflict, listened to different viewpoints, and found a solution that was acceptable to all parties involved. It’s important to highlight empathy, understanding, and the ability to bring people together.

2. Reflect on Personal Growth and Learning: A crucial part of this essay is reflecting on what the student learned from this experience. This could include understanding more about their own leadership style, gaining insights into team dynamics, or learning how to deal with challenging situations. It’s about showing self-awareness and the ability to learn and grow from experiences. The student should explain how this leadership experience has shaped them and possibly influenced their future goals or aspirations.

3. Demonstrate Long-term Contribution: Finally, the student should illustrate how their leadership contributed to group efforts over time. This isn’t just about a one-time event; it’s about showing sustained effort and ongoing impact. The student could discuss how their leadership led to lasting changes in a club, improved team performance over a season, or contributed to ongoing success in a group project. This part of the essay should convey a sense of commitment and the ability to make a lasting difference.

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem-solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

What does being creative mean to you? Is there a creative talent you really care about? What have you managed to do with it? If you’ve ever used your imagination to tackle a problem, what was your solution? How did you come up with it?

Consider how your creativity plays a role in your choices, whether you’re in school or outside of it. Does it connect to what you want to study or the job you want in the future? You might believe this question is just for people who are good at art, but if you look again, you’ll see it’s asking for your own idea of creativity.

1. Identify Your Unique Expression of Creativity: The first step is for the student to reflect on how they uniquely express their creativity. This could be through traditional artistic methods like painting or writing, or through less conventional means such as devising unique solutions to everyday problems, engaging in creative coding, or innovative project designs. Students should think about moments where they felt most creative and what they were doing at that time. It’s important to choose a form of creative expression that is genuinely meaningful to them, as this will shine through in their writing.

2. Illustrate with Specific Examples: Once the student has identified how they express their creativity, the next step is to illustrate this with specific examples. This could be a project they spearheaded, a personal challenge they overcame using a unique approach, or a hobby that requires creative thinking. Detailed storytelling is key here; rather than just stating they are creative, they should show how their creativity manifests through their actions and decisions.

3. Reflect on the Impact: After detailing specific examples, students should reflect on the impact of their creative endeavors. This could be on a personal level, such as how engaging in creative activities has shaped their identity or thinking patterns, or on a broader scale, like the impact of their creativity on others or their community. This reflection shows depth of thought and self-awareness, which are qualities universities like UC Berkeley value.

4. Connect to Future Goals and Ambitions: Lastly, it would be beneficial for students to tie their creative side to their future goals and aspirations, particularly how they plan to continue expressing and cultivating this creativity in college and beyond. This could involve discussing how they see their creativity playing a role in their intended major, future career, or how they plan to contribute to the UC Berkeley community. This not only shows that they have direction but also how their unique qualities will add value to the university.

What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

If you have a special skill or something you’re really good at, now’s the time to talk about it. It’s okay if you haven’t won any awards for it. You can still tell us why it’s important to you. Did this ability come easily to you, or did you have to work hard at it? Can you use this skill in school or somewhere else? If you can, tell us how you managed to fit it into your life.

1. Identifying the Talent or Skill: The first step is for students to introspect and identify a talent or skill that truly resonates with their personality and experiences. It’s important that they choose something that is genuinely significant to them, rather than what they think might impress the admissions committee.

This could be anything from a creative skill like painting or writing, to interpersonal skills like empathy or leadership, or even a unique ability to solve complex problems. The key here is authenticity and showing a deep connection with the talent or skill chosen.

2. Narrative of Development: Once the talent or skill is identified, students should reflect on how it has developed over time. This isn’t just about showcasing when and how they discovered this talent, but also about illustrating their commitment to nurturing and improving it.

They could discuss milestones, challenges, or pivotal moments that contributed to the growth of their skill. This narrative helps to demonstrate perseverance, dedication, and a willingness to learn and grow, qualities that are highly valued in a university environment.

3. Evidence of Demonstration: It’s essential for students to provide concrete examples of how they have demonstrated this talent or skill. This could include personal projects, participation in clubs or organizations, competitions, volunteer work, or any other relevant experiences. By providing specific examples, students can illustrate the practical application of their talent and its impact. This also offers a window into their personality and how they engage with the world around them.

4. Reflecting on Impact: Finally, students should reflect on the impact their talent or skill has had on their personal growth and on others. This could involve discussing how it has shaped their perspective, contributed to their academic or career goals, or allowed them to make a difference in their community.

This reflection shows depth of thought, self-awareness, and an understanding of the broader implications of their personal abilities. It’s an opportunity to connect their individual experiences and skills to the larger world, demonstrating maturity and forward-thinking.

By thoughtfully addressing these aspects, students can create a compelling and introspective response that not only highlights their unique abilities but also offers a glimpse into their personal journey and character development.

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

When thinking about what to write, remember that an educational opportunity could be anything that has made your learning better and helped get you ready for college. This could be being part of a special program for advanced or honors students, joining a school focused on a certain job or subject you want to study, or just taking challenging classes you like.

1. Identifying the Opportunity or Barrier: Students should begin by clearly identifying a significant educational opportunity they embraced or an educational barrier they faced. This could range from taking part in advanced courses, engaging in special academic programs, or tackling personal circumstances that impacted their education, such as language barriers or socio-economic challenges. It’s crucial to describe the situation in a way that sets the stage for the ensuing narrative. The focus should be on providing context to understand the significance of the opportunity or challenge.

2. Personal Growth and Learning: After setting the scene, the next step is to delve into how engaging with this opportunity or overcoming the barrier contributed to their personal and academic growth. Students should reflect on what they learned from the experience and how it shaped their perspective on education and personal development. This part of the essay should illustrate a journey of transformation, showcasing how the student evolved, what skills they developed, and how their approach to learning or problem-solving improved.

3. Actions and Initiative: An essential aspect of this prompt is demonstrating initiative and action. Whether it’s about how they took advantage of an opportunity or overcame a barrier, students need to highlight the specific steps they took. This might involve describing the effort put into an academic project, seeking out mentors or resources, or balancing challenging circumstances with their commitment to education. This section should convey a sense of agency and determination, painting a picture of a student who is actively engaged in shaping their educational journey.

4. Linking Experiences to Future Goals: Lastly, students should connect their experiences to their future aspirations and how it aligns with their desire to study at UC Berkeley. This part is about drawing a line from past experiences to future ambitions, demonstrating that the lessons learned and the skills acquired are stepping stones towards their long-term goals. It’s an opportunity to show how their unique experiences have prepared them for the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead in college and beyond.

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

You might face a challenge in your life, with your friends, at school, or in your neighborhood. Think about why this challenge matters to you. This is your chance to share the tough situations you’ve come across and what you’ve learned from them. Did someone help you, or did you manage it by yourself?

If you’re still dealing with a tough situation, what steps are you taking to handle it? How has this situation changed things for you at home, school, or with your friends and family?

We at Admissionsight suggest that if you don’t come from a background with many challenges, you might want to skip this essay question. That’s because there will be students who have had to deal with really big problems, like losing their homes, and it might not look good if you write about a smaller issue like your school not offering more math classes.

1. The Significant Challenge: The first step is to select a challenge that has had a profound impact on the student’s life. This could be a personal, academic, or social challenge. It’s important to choose a challenge that genuinely affected them, as authenticity in the essay will resonate more with the admissions committee. The chosen challenge should be substantial enough to allow for a detailed discussion about its impact and the student’s response. For example, overcoming a learning disability, dealing with a family crisis, or facing cultural barriers could be potential topics.

2. Describing Steps Taken to Overcome the Challenge: After identifying the challenge, the student should clearly outline the specific actions they took to address it. This is where they can demonstrate problem-solving skills, resilience, and determination. It’s essential to focus on the process rather than just the outcome, as the journey towards overcoming the challenge is often more insightful than the resolution itself. This might include seeking help, learning new skills, or changing their perspective on the problem.

3. Reflecting on Personal Growth: This section of the essay should delve into how the challenge has contributed to the student’s personal development. It’s an opportunity to showcase character strengths such as perseverance, adaptability, and emotional intelligence. The student should reflect on what they learned about themselves through this experience and how it has prepared them for future challenges. This introspection can reveal maturity and depth of character, qualities that are highly valued in college applicants.

4. Linking the Challenge to Academic Achievement: Finally, the student needs to connect their experience with the challenge to their academic life. This could mean discussing how overcoming the challenge has improved their academic performance, influenced their academic interests, or shaped their educational goals. For instance, a student who overcame a speech impediment might discuss how this experience led to a passion for linguistics, or a student who dealt with a health issue might explain how it sparked an interest in biomedical engineering.

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

If there’s a school subject you love and can’t seem to get enough of, how have you learned more about it? Talk about how you started to like this subject and share any related things you’ve done, like helping out in your community, working a job, joining in on summer activities, or being part of school clubs. What did these activities teach you?

Has your favorite subject influenced your choice of what to study in college or the job you want in the future? Have you taken any advanced or college-level classes in this area? Do you want to keep studying this subject at the University of California, and if so, how?

If you often call yourself a “nerd” or “geek” because of your love for a certain subject, this is your chance to talk about it. You can explain how your favorite subject has led to a hobby outside of school, or you can think about how a hobby of yours started from something you learned in class. 

1. Identifying the Subject and Initial Fascination: Students should begin by clearly identifying the academic subject that captivates them. This should be more than just stating the subject; it’s crucial to articulate why this subject sparks their interest. They could reflect on a moment or experience that ignited their passion for the subject. For instance, a student fascinated by physics might recall their awe when they first learned about the laws of motion and how it prompted them to explore further. This part of the essay should aim to convey the student’s initial curiosity and enthusiasm.

2. Examples of Classroom Engagement: Next, the student should describe how they have pursued this interest within their school environment. This might include taking advanced or specialized courses, participating in related clubs, or engaging in class projects or discussions that delve deeper into the subject. The key here is to demonstrate active engagement and a desire to explore the subject beyond the basic curriculum. For example, a student interested in literature might talk about how they led a book club discussion in their English class or chose challenging literary works for independent study.

3. Exploration Beyond the Classroom: It’s equally important to discuss how the student has extended their learning outside of school. This could involve personal projects, extracurricular activities, internships, volunteering, or any other experiences that show a commitment to exploring the subject in a real-world context. For example, a student passionate about environmental science might volunteer for local conservation efforts or initiate a recycling program in their community. This part of the essay should illustrate how the student’s interest is not confined to academic settings but is a part of their everyday life and personal growth.

4. Reflection and Future Aspirations: Finally, students should reflect on what they have learned from their experiences and how this will shape their future goals and pursuits, especially in relation to their potential studies and contributions at UC Berkeley. This is an opportunity to link their past experiences and future aspirations, showing a clear trajectory of passion and purpose. For instance, a student interested in engineering might discuss how their hands-on experiences and academic pursuits have prepared them to contribute to UC Berkeley’s engineering community and beyond.

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

When you hear “community,” you might think of your sports team, your neighborhood, or where you go to school. You decide what “community” means to you, and tell us how you’ve been involved. Did you see something that needed to be changed?

What made you want to do something about it? What lessons did you take away from trying? How did your actions help other people or your community as a whole? Did you work by yourself or with others to make a difference where you live?

1. Identify Specific Contributions: Encourage students to reflect on their tangible contributions to their school or community. This could include organizing events, participating in or leading community service projects, starting a club or initiative, or even small-scale actions like tutoring peers or improving school facilities. The key is to focus on specific activities where their involvement made a measurable difference.

2. Emphasize Personal Growth and Learning: A crucial aspect of this prompt is not just what the student did, but also what they learned from the experience. Did they gain new skills, like leadership or communication? Did they overcome challenges or change their perspective on a societal issue? This reflection shows maturity and self-awareness, important qualities for a university student.

3. Highlight Collaboration and Impact on Others: UC Berkeley values community and teamwork. Students should discuss how they worked with others, showing their ability to collaborate and build relationships. They should also reflect on the impact of their actions on those around them. Did their efforts lead to a stronger, more connected community? How did others benefit from their actions?

4. Connect to Future Goals and Aspirations: Finally, students should tie their past actions to their future ambitions. How do these experiences shape their goals, especially as they relate to their intended field of study or future career? This connection demonstrates forward-thinking and a commitment to continuing positive contributions, aligning with UC Berkeley’s ethos of innovation and social responsibility.

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admission to the University of California?

If there’s something about you that you think is important for the UC admissions team to know, but you haven’t had a chance to share it yet, this is the time to do so. What makes you different? Maybe you have a unique skill, a special talent, or you’ve faced a challenge that shows who you are. Think about what makes you a great pick for the University of California. It’s okay to show off here.

This part of the application is wide open—you get to take control of the story you tell. Is there a part of your life or experience that you’re eager to share with the UC admissions team that makes you stand out, but it doesn’t fit into the other questions you’ve answered? Remember to give lots of details and explain why this story is so important to you. Also, make sure you talk about why this makes you a particularly good fit for the UC system.

1. Identify Unique Personal Qualities or Experiences: Encourage students to reflect on aspects of their identity or experiences that are unique to them. This could include overcoming specific challenges, engaging in unusual hobbies or interests, or having a distinctive cultural background. For example, if a student grew up in a multicultural environment, they could discuss how this experience has shaped their worldview and ability to interact with diverse communities, a quality that’s highly valued at a global institution like UC Berkeley.

2. Highlight Unmentioned Achievements or Projects: Students should think about any accomplishments or projects they haven’t already mentioned in their application. This could be a personal project, a community initiative, or an achievement in an area not traditionally associated with academic success. For instance, if a student has developed an app to solve a community problem or has been actively involved in environmental activism, these are achievements worth mentioning.

3. Demonstrate Alignment with UC Berkeley’s Values: It’s important for students to research and understand UC Berkeley’s values and mission. They can then reflect on how their personal qualities or experiences align with these values. If UC Berkeley emphasizes innovation, a student could talk about how their creative thinking or problem-solving skills have been evident in their past endeavors, and how they plan to bring that innovative spirit to campus.

4. Showcase Growth and Learning: This prompt is a great opportunity for students to discuss how they have grown or what they have learned from their experiences. This could involve personal development, such as learning to overcome failures, or intellectual growth, such as developing a passion for a particular field of study. For instance, a student might describe how working a part-time job taught them valuable lessons about responsibility, time management, and empathy.

How to Structure Your Application Essays

A well-structured essay not only conveys the message clearly but also reflects the applicant’s organizational and analytical skills. Here are three key points elaborating how an applicant can effectively structure their UC Berkeley essays for the academic years 2023-2024:

1. Introduction with a Hook and Statement: The introduction is crucial in capturing the reader’s attention. Applicants should start their 2023-2024 UC Berkeley essays with a compelling hook – a unique anecdote, a thought-provoking question, or an intriguing statement about their experiences or perspectives.

Following the hook, the introduction should include a clear statement that outlines the main theme or argument of the essay. This approach not only grabs the attention of the admissions committee but also sets a clear direction for the rest of the essay.

2. Body Paragraphs with Clear Arguments and Examples: Each body paragraph should focus on a single idea or experience that supports the statement. Applicants should use a mix of personal anecdotes, reflections, and specific examples to illustrate their points.

This section should demonstrate how their experiences, achievements, and goals align with what UC Berkeley offers. The use of detailed examples not only provides depth to their narrative but also showcases their understanding of the university’s ethos and programs. Transition sentences at the end of each paragraph can help maintain the flow and coherence of the essay.

3. Concluding Statement: The conclusion is an opportunity to reinforce how the applicant’s experiences and aspirations make them a perfect fit for UC Berkeley. Additionally, the conclusion can be forward-looking, tying the applicant’s goals and potential contributions to what they hope to achieve at UC Berkeley. This not only brings the essay full circle but also leaves a lasting impression on the admissions committee.

Incorporating these structural elements in UC Berkeley essays for 2023-2024 will help applicants present their stories in a coherent, compelling, and organized manner. This structure not only aids in conveying the content effectively but also demonstrates the applicant’s writing skills, critical thinking, and suitability for the academic environment at UC Berkeley.

How Do the UC Berkeley Essays Compare to Other Top Universities?

The UC Berkeley essays, especially for the academic years 2023-2024, have distinctive features that set them apart from essays required by other top universities. This comparison sheds light on the unique expectations and focuses of different prestigious institutions.

Firstly, UC Berkeley essays tend to emphasize diversity, social responsibility, and innovation. The university is known for its progressive ethos and commitment to social change, which is reflected in its essay prompts. For instance, prompts may ask students to discuss how they have contributed to or plan to contribute to social justice, diversity, or environmental sustainability.

This contrasts with schools like Harvard or Yale , where essay prompts are often more open-ended and focused on personal growth, intellectual curiosity, and academic interests. UC Berkeley’s prompts guide applicants to demonstrate their alignment with the university’s values and mission, encouraging them to showcase how they can contribute to and benefit from Berkeley’s unique environment.

Secondly, the structure and style of UC Berkeley essays often require a balance between personal narrative and intellectual exploration. Unlike Stanford’s essays, which are known for creative and unconventional prompts that allow for a wide range of expressive freedom, UC Berkeley’s prompts usually call for a more structured response.

They often require applicants to provide specific examples of experiences or goals related to the prompt’s theme. This structure necessitates a clear demonstration of the applicant’s thought process, decision-making skills, and the ability to articulate their experiences in a way that highlights their potential contribution to the Berkeley community.

Lastly, the tone and content of UC Berkeley essays often reflect the university’s emphasis on real-world impact and pragmatic solutions. Unlike MIT or Caltech, where essay prompts might lean more towards technical prowess and scientific inquiry, UC Berkeley’s prompts encourage applicants to discuss the practical implications of their interests and experiences.

This includes addressing societal issues, reflecting on personal challenges in a broader context, or discussing how one’s academic interests can lead to tangible changes in the community. This focus on practical application aligns with UC Berkeley’s reputation as an institution that values not just academic excellence but also social engagement and impact.

How to Effectively Revise and Proofread

Effectively revising and proofreading essays, especially for prestigious universities like UC Berkeley, is a critical step in the application process. Here are four detailed key points on how applicants can enhance their UC Berkeley Essays for the years 2023-2024:

1. Structure and Coherence Check: Start by evaluating the overall structure of the essay. Ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next, and there’s a coherent narrative throughout. Check if the introduction effectively sets the stage and if the conclusion ties back to the main points without introducing new information. For the 2023-2024 UC Berkeley essays, it’s essential to make sure that the structure aligns with the prompt’s requirements and effectively showcases the applicant’s strengths, experiences, and fit for the university.

2. Content Depth and Relevance Analysis: Dive deep into the content of each section. Assess whether each paragraph contributes meaningfully to the essay’s overall message. Remove or revise parts that seem off-topic or do not add value to your narrative. Especially for UC Berkeley, ensure that the content reflects the applicant’s understanding of the university’s values, such as diversity, innovation, and social responsibility. Check if personal anecdotes and examples are relevant and effectively illustrate the points being made.

3. Language and Clarity Enhancement: Pay close attention to the choice of words, sentence construction, and overall readability. Use active voice wherever possible, and vary sentence structure to maintain reader interest. Avoid jargon and overly complex language that might obscure the message.

For the 2023-2024 UC Berkeley essays, it’s important to maintain a balance between a formal tone and personal voice. Ensure that the essay sounds authentic and conveys the applicant’s personality, while still being polished and professional.

4. Final Proofreading for Grammar and Typos: The final step involves a meticulous proofreading session. Look for grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, and typos. These small errors can detract from the professionalism of the essay.

Reading the essay aloud or having someone else review it can be helpful in catching mistakes that might have been overlooked. For UC Berkeley applicants, presenting a well-proofread essay is crucial, as it reflects attention to detail and dedication to presenting one’s best self.

By following these steps, applicants can significantly improve their UC Berkeley Essays for 2023-2024. The process of revision and proofreading is not just about correcting errors; it’s about refining and enhancing the essay to best represent the applicant’s abilities, aspirations, and fit for the university.

Why Choose UC Berkeley?

Choosing UC Berkeley means picking a place that stands out for its commitment to excellence and innovation. It’s not just any university—it’s a hub where bright minds meet to challenge the status quo and push the boundaries of knowledge.

At Berkeley, you’ll find yourself among a diverse group of students and faculty who are pioneers in their fields. The campus is famous for its dynamic atmosphere, where every idea and perspective is valued, setting the stage for groundbreaking research and learning experiences.

What’s more, UC Berkeley is known for its impressive alumni network, full of leaders who have made significant impacts in various industries around the world. Opting for Berkeley could connect you with opportunities that are hard to find elsewhere. Its location in the San Francisco Bay Area, a thriving center for technology and culture, gives you the chance to engage with numerous industries and communities.

At its heart, UC Berkeley is not just an institution but a community that fosters growth, ambition, and a commitment to making a difference. Choosing UC Berkeley is about embracing a future filled with possibilities and being part of a long-standing tradition of excellence. It’s where you don’t just attend classes; you join a lively and supportive community that propels you toward your dreams.

Final Thoughts

As we wrap up our guide to the 2023- 2024 UC Berkeley essays, remember that this is more than just a writing task—it’s your chance to have a heart-to-heart with t he admissions committee. Your essays are your voice in the room full of potential Golden Bears. They should reflect who you are, not just what you’ve done.

So, take a deep breath, trust in your unique experiences, and let your personality shine through your words. Keep it real, keep it you, and don’t be afraid to let your passion for learning and growing at UC Berkeley light the way. It’s your story, your future, and now is the time to share it. Good luck, and Go Bears!

AdmissionSight , a college consulting firm, offers personalized assistance to students in their college admissions journey. We help you create a strategic plan for your application process, identify suitable schools aligned with your academic and personal goals, and prioritize your application strategy. 

Our experts review your application, providing constructive feedback to enhance its quality and uniqueness. We also assist in crafting compelling essays that reflect your personality and achievements, guide you through the writing process, and offer feedback on drafts. In addition, we provide interview coaching to boost your confidence and readiness for college interviews, offering tips on professional presentation and answering common questions. 

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UC Essay Examples – Personal Insight Questions 1-8

December 29, 2023

When applying to any of the University of California schools , you’ll face a series of supplemental essays in which you are asked to quickly and, with sufficient detail, provide personal insight into who you are as a person. These essays can be confusing to students, who might be used to writing the Common App essay , which asks for a well-written story in 650 words. The UC essays (see UC essay examples below), by contrast, ask you to provide as much concrete detail as possible while showcasing your positive traits. This means your writing will need to be as efficient as possible. To be clear, that means cutting down on flowery descriptions and pulling out the clear details about your achievements while leaving enough space for mature reflection and forward thinking. 

(For help with writing efficiency, check out our tips in our Why This College Essay blog post . For tips on how to get started, check out our Overcoming Challenges Essay blog post .)

In the following examples, we’ll show you some example responses to the first four UC prompts while talking you through what works and what doesn’t. 

UC Essay Prompt #1: 

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time.

UC Example Essay: 

It was the third night in a row that we couldn’t get it together. My school’s mock trial team was finally going to the state championship after years of working together, but we couldn’t agree on how to build our prosecution. The “case” was that several people had died during a rock concert when the crowd became violent. We needed to decide if we should “sue” the event space or the artist, and the group was split around two natural leaders. 

Mark, our lead attorney for the last two years, wanted to build a logical argument that the event space intentionally oversold the show, creating danger. Emma, our star witness, said that we needed to build the case around sympathy for the families and sue the artist, who had inspired the violence.

UC Essay Examples (Continued)

I had watched Mark and Emma disagree over the last two years. They were two very different people who loved arguing, and the rest of us often had to wait through it. I typically hang back and observe, but we were down to the wire, and I realized someone needed to speak up. I came up with an idea and pulled aside some of my friends to explain my thoughts. They agreed, and encouraged me to step up. 

I surprised myself when, in a moment of silence, I opened my mouth. I calmly explained that we didn’t have to abandon either strategy and that we could, in fact, combine them to greater effect. Because I had taken time to convince the rest of the team before speaking, they rallied around me, and Mark and Emma had no choice but to agree. I realized at that moment that groups need people who are willing to listen, strategize, and then put a plan into motion, and that I have a strength for this style of leadership. Since then, I’ve started speaking up more, specifically in my robotics club, where I recently led us to second place at the 24-Hour Code-athon. I look forward to bringing those skills to my classes and volunteer work at UC. 

Analysis: 

The first thing we should note about UC’s essays is that they are asking about important parts of your life, but they want brief responses. Because UC is sorting through so many applications, we want to be sure that you are providing as much concrete detail as possible and showcasing as many positive traits about yourself as possible in these quick responses.

What I’ve written here attempts to combine a single story with positive traits that a more introverted student might possess. So, it’s a story about the development of someone’s leadership style in a single moment in time. But, there’s another way to write this essay. 

Another Option for UC1: 

A more extroverted student who has been prone to leadership activities all throughout their high school experience could write an incredibly successful essay that simply focused, paragraph by paragraph on quick snippets that showcased their leadership throughout time. For example: 

• Paragraph 1: I learned I was a natural leader the first time I successfully rallied my rhythm gymnastics team after our star tumbler got injured during a competition.
• Paragraph 2: I then became our team captain, working to institute a new bonding retreat at the start of each year to bring the team together.
• Paragraph 3: I took that same sense of leadership to my volunteer work at the local food bank, where I have worked with my colleagues to create a conversation hour. Every Wednesday, we invite volunteers and clients to a collective meal where we share stories, tough spots, and triumphs.
• Paragraph 4: While I won’t be dancing competitively in college, I plan to continue my volunteer work with the Meals on Wheels chapter at UC, bringing food and friendly conversation to people in the community, rooted in my practice and experience with community building and bonding in high school. 

No matter what your experience is, you really want to focus on direct, deliverable moments in time that showcase what you’ve done. If you have a ton of leadership experience, try to showcase as much as you can while meeting the word count. If you have less experience but a really compelling story, focus on quickly laying out the basics of the story and then building power in the essay by reflecting on your leadership style.

In the end, make sure you comment on how you will bring your leadership style to campus, being as specific as possible. 

If I edited the above essay even more, I would further condense the story and elaborate more on how I’ve applied what I’ve learned. I mention the robotics club and winning second place at the 24-Hour Code-athon, but I could have saved some space above and expanded on it to show that I have the capacity to build my skill set over time. I could have also talked about the deliverables from the mock trial experience. Did we win our case? How does the story end? If I gave this essay another pass, I would focus a bit less on the story and balance things out more with what happened as a result of my leadership revelation.  

UC Essay Prompt #2: 

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

When I was just two-years-old, my mom enrolled me in ballet classes—and I hated them. Because I was young and she wanted me to do it, I danced for another nine years, until I finally gave up ballet for the soccer field. What I hadn’t realized was that everything I learned in ballet would quickly translate to make me a star player on the field. I knew how to turn on a dime, I could jump over a slide tackle faster than anyone else, and I never took it that seriously when we lost (the show must go on, after all). This led me to being named captain of my varsity team, where my team has nicknamed me The Swann—a combination of the football player who used ballet to train, Lynn Swann, and the famous ballet, Swan Lake. 

UC Personal Insight Questions Examples (Continued)

I realized quickly that my creativity could have this extracurricular quality no matter where I went. In my high school’s annual Physics-in-the-Raw Competition, I used famous chase scenes from my favorite black and white movies (I’m a big fan of Vertigo and Chinatown ) and pulled all the data I could from the movies themselves to crunch the numbers and show whether or not the actual chase would have played out like that in real life. I even filmed shot-for-shot remakes on my phone using Matchbox cars—in black and white, of course. My AP Physics teacher never stopped laughing, even as they noted that my calculations were correct. I was the first 11th grader to win the competition in the school’s history, and I have my creativity to thank for it. 

I’ve expressed interest in both English and Physics as a double major, but I’m excited to talk to my future advisers about what might be possible for me in Interdisciplinary Studies. When I let myself think creatively, I wonder about the possibility of bringing ballet back into my life—and what it might look like to combine my love of physics with the beauty of dance and literature, all on the UC campus.  

Here’s a cheeky example from a dream student whose only obstacle in life is that they didn’t really like ballet. I wrote this essay as a way to show you how you can quickly combine story with concrete elements. Look at how we jump into the essay. The first sentence I actually typed was “Creativity is one of my favorite things about me,” and then deleted it after I wrote the rest of the paragraph. I realized quickly that it was a placeholder for what I was attempting to show throughout the rest of the essay. If you find yourself writing bland or empty sentences like that in your UC essays, you should delete them, too. 

Then, look at what happens along the way. I try to list vivid-yet-concrete examples of my creativity ( I knew how to turn on a dime, I could jump over a slide tackle faster than anyone else, and I never took it that seriously when we lost ), and then I take what I learned about myself (that I have an “extracurricular sense” of creativity) and show the achievement that best showcases that sensibility on display: I was the first 11th grader to win the school physics competition because I’m so creative. I don’t need to over-explain the connection: it’s there for my readers and they can easily see how the experience in the first paragraph leads to the second experience. 

Finally, I take the chance to project myself onto the UC Campus by talking earnestly about an interest I have in the Interdisciplinary B.A. This moment is effective because I’m not promising anything or using overextended language to build a fake version of myself on campus, but because it makes sense that this type of student would be interested in this type of major. I demonstrate that I’ve done some research and that I’m thinking critically about how I would fit in on campus. 

If I edited this essay into another version, and I had another set of accomplishments to showcase, I would skip talking about the Interdisciplinary major and talk instead about that third accomplishment.  

UC Essay Prompt #3: 

What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?

I stepped onto the pad and looked over at my coach. She gave me the sign: breathe in, breathe out, pull. One kick to the right to loosen my tight hip, and I lowered my hands to the bar. In the 2022 USA Powerlifting High School Nationals, I set a personal deadlift record of 242.5 pounds, putting me in fifth place. When the rankings shook out, my coach screamed and hugged me: she knew what it had taken me to get here. 

Something about powerlifting always compelled me. I was tiny at the start of my journey in ninth grade, but I decided to just keep with it. My coach laid out a progressive plan for me, and I followed it to a T. I was making steady progress all through fall of sophomore year, and I even won a regional title.  I broke my right leg in a skiing accident that winter and was devastated. But I remembered all the progress I had made and didn’t want to stop. I watched practice with my cast on, doing seated, upper-body lifts when my coach said it was safe. 

In the meantime, I focused on my academics. I turned around my AP Chemistry grade by showing up to afterschool tutoring and finally making flashcards the way my teacher had recommended, dedicating an extra 30 minutes to chem every day.  I realized I could apply my same sense of persistence and tenacity to the classroom, too, and it paid off: I got a 5 on the AP Chemistry exam. 

My coach wasn’t surprised when she saw me back at the barbell a week after my cast was off. Over the next year, I dedicated myself to rebuilding the muscle I had lost by following an increased- calorie diet and working accessory lifts to challenge myself. I realized I could see precisely what my ability to perform sustained, focused effort got me: a comeback fifth place ranking at a national competition in the sport that I love. I can’t wait to apply my focus to my major at UC. 

Many students think about “skill” or “talent” as a discrete thing. For example, this student could have simply written about being really good at powerlifting. However, if we take one step back, we can see that the student’s true talent (and the more interesting thing to say) is that they are really good at persistence, tenacity, and sustained, focused attention on a goal. This is a tremendous thing to talk about when it comes to applying to college, because going to university is a project in your sustained focus over the course of four years. 

That meant that it was important to also bring in an academic component to the essay to showcase how this student was skilled in persistence in another realm. In this context, obviously, the academic realm is incredibly important. Drawing the parallel with the AP Chem course shows the reader that the student also understands how their skillset works in an abstract way. 

I’ll repeat the same editing principle here that I’ve said above: if the student had other stellar examples of exhibiting persistence and focus, I would cut down on the storytelling elements, and I would include those pieces, instead. If you’re working on an essay for which you have a lot of solid examples, you can think of your response to the prompt like a vividly conceptualized list. You can showcase your personality through your language choices, and you can tell the story of your achievements, but again, worry less about setting the scene and more about highlighting your successes. 

UC Essay Prompt #4: 

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

As a gifted student, I was shocked when my favorite teacher asked me if I had ever considered getting examined for ADHD. My grades had been slipping that semester, but it was just because I wasn’t working hard enough to stay organized, right? My teacher indicated that he knew I was working really hard already, and that maybe, I would benefit from a little help. 

When my diagnosis came back as primarily inattentive ADHD, I felt both surprise and grief. My psychologist talked to me about how my hyperfocus had been likely sparked when I was a little kid in elementary school, but that, as time went on, it was easier and easier for me to become bored in school. Even if the classes were more challenging, the repetition of the structure wasn’t. I had enough coping mechanisms to do “well enough,” but if I wasn’t being challenged, my inattention could be taking over and making me lose out on reaching my goals. 

Working closely with my parents, my psychologist, and my teachers, I was able to build a plan for myself to get back on track. I chose for myself that I wanted to start treatment without medication, so I did counseling to put my time in high school in perspective, and I started practicing mindfulness meditation, which has been a revelation. When I focus on the fact that every day is a new opportunity to learn something new, I can really savor those opportunities. The semester that I received my diagnosis, I stabilized my grades and my 4.0 GPA before anything started to slip, thanks to my careful teacher. 

When I come to UC, I know I may be faced with challenges to my inattentive ADHD as time goes on, however, I now know what warning signs and how to rely on my support networks. I look forward to volunteering as a peer mentor to share my tips, tricks, and to help other students identify when they need help, as well. 

Writing about mental health and learning disabilities can be tricky. In every case, you need to be sure that you’re demonstrating a clear arc of overcoming something. There is no shame in actively dealing with a mental health problem or diagnosis, but when it comes to writing your college admissions essays, you want to be sure that you have a demonstrable positive outcome that you can discuss if you choose to go down this path. 

So, I wanted to show an example of someone who had that clarity of overcoming their diagnosis with a demonstrable stabilization of their GPA. Pay attention to the way in which the essay departs from the identification of the problem, the diagnosis, and then focuses mainly on the solutions that the student finds. Leaving the essay in a place of generosity where the student wants to extend what they’ve learned to others around them solidifies their success and showcases that they truly have overcome this educational barrier. 

Of course, there are other significant educational barriers that someone could talk about. They could include structural barriers within a school system or unfortunate events, like surviving a wildfire or a flood, that can demonstrate a student’s perseverance. To write this essay in the opposite direction, about a significant educational opportunity, might entail writing about an invitation to speak at an important event, an opportunity to travel to a foreign country, or the chance to participate in an extracurricular activity that led to a particular success. Were you asked to help start your school’s award-winning field hockey team? That would be an excellent thing to write about. 

To view all of the full list of prompts and other helpful tips, check out our other UC Essay blog post, here . And when you need help crafting and editing your UC essays, reach out to College Transitions for a free consultation and to get started. 

Now let’s dive into the next series of supplemental prompts, UC Personal Insight Questions 5 through 8. 

UC Essay Prompt #5: 

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

When I was five years old, my mother decided to separate from my father because of his addiction. I have learned to understand the details based on what my mother does not say. My mother tried to help him overcome his illness. She had hoped that doctors, rehab, and twelve-step programs would have stopped him from becoming violent. She was wrong. I grew up without him. 

Last year, out of the blue, my father started showing up outside of my high school, telling me he wanted to see my mom again. It became severe enough that the police issued a restraining order. I haven’t seen him since. 

But I suffered. The idea that he could appear outside of my school at any moment made me paranoid. I was scared for my mother, and I wanted to believe that the restraining order would be sufficient, but then I stopped trusting myself. What if something happened and no one believed me? I had never experienced anxiety before, but all of the sudden, I was having tunnel vision and couldn’t be alone. 

My physics teacher, Mr. Bevelacqua, noticed first. He saw that my grade had slid from an A to a C- in five weeks, and he rightly assumed that, if it was happening in his class, it was happening in others. I loved his class and sense of humor, so I felt comfortable enough confiding in my teacher about my fears. He helped me talk with the school psychologist, who suggested a course in mindfulness and a series of conversations with the police. I created healthy boundaries for myself and developed a mindfulness routine with my mother that has benefited both of us.

Now, my grades are back up, and I’m helping Mr. Bevelacqua tutor other students for the AP Physics exam. I’ve even started attending Alateen meetings, where I’ve made close friends who have experienced similar things. Sharing our experiences has almost helped them dissolve. I’ve learned that, even though I’ve thought I should be ashamed of my father, I can talk openly about my experiences—and maybe even help myself and others.  

This essay is a completely fictional one in which I’m imagining a rather difficult experience that triggers a mental health episode in a student. You’ll see that I spend the first three, quick paragraphs detailing the challenge and the final paragraph outlining the steps the student has taken to overcome the problem. The student shows self-awareness by confiding in a favorite teacher about what’s happening, then the student doesn’t hesitate to take the teacher’s advice, then the advice pays off and we see the positive effects of the student’s willingness to address their fears and work with the people they trust around them.  

I want to point out that both sections are fairly concrete. I take some creative liberties in the first paragraph in order to artfully describe a situation of domestic violence, but for the most part, I’m stating directly what happened. This doesn’t mean excluding difficult details, like the anxiety attacks and fear, but it does mean that I’ve avoided overly flowery language. 

Writing about heavy things doesn’t mean that your prose has to be particularly heavy. In fact, writing about particularly difficult things in plain, straightforward ways —without the use of too many colorful adjectives—can help communicate the painfulness even more. You don’t want to smother your reader in emotion; you want to lead them to their own emotional reaction through the things that happened. Restraint in prose can help to achieve this goal. Let the painful things be painful. They will do the work for you. 

That is all to say: when you’re tackling this essay, you don’t want to bleed on the page. Oftentimes, students who have suffered traumatic, difficult things believe that they need to convey the full weight of their distress to admissions officers. To be clear, your trauma and your suffering matters, but admissions officers are reading the full breadth of painful experiences from across the spectrum of human existence. Adversity and suffering visit us all, and the unfortunate pain of these events is highly relative.

Admissions officers are interested in seeing what you do with your pain. You want to focus on the tangible, provable things that you have done to overcome your challenges. Those things could be big or small. It would have been enough for this student, for example, to have simply found a productive mindfulness meditation routine that they practiced with their mother, and then described their newfound perspectives that came from that practice. You don’t have to do twenty things to prove that you’re emotionally mature enough to attend college; but you do want to prove that you’re doing well despite adversity. 

UC Essay Prompt #6: 

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

Standing in front of the seven-foot-tall, room-length canvas for the first time, I was overwhelmed. Then, slowly, I realized what Warhol was doing. Here was Elvis, the iconic American figure of rock ‘n’ roll, stamped out eleven times, his pistol pointed at us, his larger-than-life body repeating like a film strip left on the cutting room floor and then splayed out before us, so that we could see each instance of his fame, however fleeting, now indelible. 

Going to the Andy Warhol Museum in my hometown of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania opened my eyes to the world of Art History, and as soon as I realized I could study it, I ran full speed ahead. To compete in National History Day, I underwent a six-month research process in the Warhol Museum archives, reading Warhol’s journals, correspondences, and making analytical reviews of drafts of his earlier, un-exhibited works. I made a thirty-minute documentary about Warhol’s work, including interviews I conducted with experts, museum curators, and with the only living family member who knew Warhol when he was still alive. With my documentary, I progressed to the national competition and placed as an honorable mention in the individual documentary category. 

Growing out of that experience, I worked with my AP History teacher to establish a connection with Duquesne University Art History Professor Laney McGunnigan, with whom I completed a semester-long independent study project on the development of pop art in the twentieth century. This fall, I will be assisting Professor McGunnigan in cataloging the body of Diego Rivera’s work held at Fallingwater, in order to assist with a larger place-based analysis on the intersection of diverse artistic movements hidden across the greater Pittsburgh area. 

I am thrilled by the possibility of studying under UCLA Department Chair Saloni Mathur. The Fallingwater project has opened my eyes to the influence of colonialism and post-colonialism in Art History, and I am deeply interested in the possibility of an interdisciplinary approach that involves anthropological practices like those I engaged during my Warhol documentary production process. 

For this essay, you want to choose that interest toward which you’ve put the most effort during your time in high school. It’s kind of like a “Why This College?” essay, but it’s about a subject, instead. In this fictional example essay, I’m drawing on a personal experience with creating a Warhol documentary in high school (true story!) and how an incredibly diligent and well-resourced student might have expanded that experience into further study (that part is fiction). No matter the level of involvement, you want to pull out all of the details about what you’ve done as a high school student as you’ve pursued a particular interest. 

You can see that I’m naming names throughout the essay, and also that I’m talking about how I’ve used my academic network to further my interest. For example, I say that I worked with my AP History teacher to make a valuable connection with a professor—don’t leave those things out. Seemingly small conversations and connections that lead to bigger things are worth including in this essay because they demonstrate your pursuit. Show the reader the steps you took along the way to get to where you are; every step counts—and you can always pare down the word count later.  

The opening lines are deceptively normal. Yes, they paint a quick scene for the reader. However, they’re also showing how I got interested in art history to begin with. The reader can see the first moment of inspiration outside of the classroom, and how I pull that inspiration into my academic life. 

Finally, I closed the essay by doing some quick research into the Art History department at UCLA. I might not know a ton about anthropology as a high school student, but I do know that I did interviews for my documentary. A good essay coach (like someone from College Transitions) could help you make the elegant connection between the work you’ve already done and the academic interests of the faculty in the department where you’d like to study. 

UC Essay Prompt #7: 

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

I can’t begin to tell you how the opioid epidemic has ravaged my community. In the last three years, three graduating seniors and eight recent graduates have died from heroin-related overdoses. The most recent death was my best friend Evan’s older brother; he had been a star soccer player and he went on to study communications at Regional State University. When Evan called to tell me what happened, I did the math silently as I listened to my friend cry: his brother overdosed at the age of 23. 

In the weeks following the funeral, I felt a heaviness I had never felt before. I’m pretty introverted; to say that I’ve never had anyone offer me drugs is an understatement. It’s the same with Evan. Even though his brother had gotten into drugs, we never saw them, which made the whole thing all the more painful, scary, and confusing. We felt hopeless. I watched Evan start to plummet. 

It was then that I heard a news story about a Harm Reduction group out of Chicago. It was the first time I’d ever heard of harm reduction, but Evan and I took the idea and ran. In just four months, we contacted the National Harm Reduction Coalition and set up a voluntary Narcan Network through our school. We built a program where kids and their parents can get trained on how to use free Narcan kits that we receive through donations we organized with NHRC.

We got trained, and we have trained more than two hundred people in our monthly sessions. The community support has been overwhelming. Parents who have had kids die or go to rehab have become integral parts of our project, and we’ve helped them start a monthly support group. If someone takes a kit, they don’t have to report using it to us, but through voluntary reporting, we know that our kits have been used at least twenty times so far. Twenty lives, twenty families, twenty more reasons to keep doing what we do. We like to think that Evan’s brother would be proud. 

In this essay, you can see that I dedicate a fair amount of time to the problem. The first two paragraphs set up what happened to the student and their best friend’s family. If I were editing this essay—and the student had a substantial amount more to say about the Narcan group—I might shorten those two paragraphs and leave space at the end for more reflection and balance, especially if the student had more achievement-oriented information to include. 

Writing about the positive things you brought to the situation is the crucial part here. The admissions officers want to know about the context for the solution, yes, but the more important thing here is your character that has allowed you to improve your community. You need to provide significant, concrete details that demonstrate your contribution to your school or community. In this case, the student is able to provide a time frame, the name of outside organizations with which they organized, the number of people trained, and an approximate number of lives saved . This is a Herculean effort that I invented for the sake of this prompt, however, I’m using it to show you the kinds of information you should provide. 

Maybe you didn’t create a live-saving program at your school, but perhaps you organized a fundraiser that brought in hundreds of dollars for cancer research or even your marching band’s annual competition trip. Tell us that. And tell us how you did it. Maybe you organized the calendars of thirty different students to do tabling during different periods of the school day. Maybe you held a week’s worth of car washes in the parking lot of your local library, and you had to coordinate the efforts between the library staff and fifteen volunteers. Or perhaps you were in charge of keeping the cash box, opening a bank account, and ensuring the safe transfer of funds to the organization.

Those are the kinds of concrete details this essay wants to see. Be sure to gas yourself up and don’t be afraid to sound like you’re “bragging:” UC wants to see your personal achievements.  

Essay Prompt #8: 

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? 

Well, why don’t you take a crack at it? 

For this essay, I’ll reiterate those best practices for all of your UC Personal Insight Essays . You want to quickly describe, in concrete language, a situation that distinguishes you from others. Then, you want to use numbers, names, responses, and your personal process to show very clearly how you overcame a situation, created something beneficial, committed yourself to a positive outcome, helped your family, helped your friends, helped your community, and on and on. Don’t take this opportunity to flex your creative writing muscles. Do stick to demonstrative outcomes. Don’t worry about winning the Pulitzer Prize for literature.

Again, UC essays are different from the storytelling you’re expected to do in the Common App essay . Do concern yourself with communicating the clear, discrete benefits of your work on a project, course, or group of people. Don’t worry about “bragging.” Your 350 words will go by fast! Gas yourself up while you can. 

• College Essay

Brittany Borghi

After earning a BA in Journalism and an MFA in Nonfiction Writing from the University of Iowa, Brittany spent five years as a full-time lecturer in the Rhetoric Department at the University of Iowa. Additionally, she’s held previous roles as a researcher, full-time daily journalist, and book editor. Brittany’s work has been featured in The Iowa Review, The Hopkins Review, and the Pittsburgh City Paper, among others, and she was also a 2021 Pushcart Prize nominee.

• 2-Year Colleges
• ADHD/LD/Autism/Executive Functioning
• Application Strategies
• Best Colleges by Major
• Best Colleges by State
• Big Picture
• Career & Personality Assessment
• College Search/Knowledge
• College Success
• Costs & Financial Aid
• Data Visualizations
• Dental School Admissions
• Extracurricular Activities
• Graduate School Admissions
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How to Write the UC Berkeley/University of California Application Essays 2016-2017

Check out the university of california application essays for 2017-2018.

The University of California system is comprised of ten public research universities all over California, from San Diego to Berkeley. UC Berkeley, UCLA, UC Irvine, UC San Diego, and UC Santa Barbara are all ranked in the top 75 national universities.

The flagship institution, UC Berkeley, is the oldest institution of the University of California universities, all of which are public research universities. With over 38,000 students, Berkeley is an academic powerhouse in a wide range of fields, and currently ranks fourth on U.S. News’ Best Global Universities list for its worldwide reputation.

In addition, it is consistently ranked among the very top of public universities. It is particularly well known in science and especially chemistry, claiming 16 of the periodic table’s elements (including number 97, the eponymous Berkelium) and 72 Nobel Prizes.

Berkeley’s 106 bachelor’s majors are offered across 7 colleges and schools, and the most popular majors are Electrical Engineering and Computer Science (EECS), Political Science, Molecular and Cell Biology, Environmental Science, and Economics.

The campus is located in beautiful northern California, and encompasses 1232 acres, though only about 178 are occupied by the central campus (the rest include various laboratories and institutes, museums, an 800-acre ecological preserve, and a botanical garden). Berkeley is known to have a diverse student body as well and holds a long-standing sports rivalry with Stanford.

For the entering class of 2016, Berkeley received 82,539 applications and admitted 12,226 for an admission rate of 14.8%. Its admissions rate has been steadily declining over the past five years.

The University of California system has just developed a new set of eight application prompts, from which you choose four. Each essay has a maximum of 350 words. Fortunately for you, these prompts come with some questions to get you started in your brainstorming!

The University of California Application Essay Prompts

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time.

Things to consider: A leadership role can mean more than just a title. It can mean being a mentor to others, acting as the person in charge of a specific task, or taking lead role in organizing an event or project.

Think about your accomplishments and what you learned from the experience. What were your responsibilities? Did you lead a team? How did your experience change your perspective on leading others? Did you help to resolve an important dispute at your school, church in your community, or an organization? And your leadership role doesn’t necessarily have to be limited to school activities. For example, do you help out or take care of your family?

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.  

Things to consider: What does creativity mean to you? Do you have a creative skill that is important to you? What have you been able to do with that skill? If you used creativity to solve a problem, what was your solution? What are the steps you took to solve the problem? How does your creativity influence your decisions inside or outside the classroom? Does your creativity relate to your major or a future career?

What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?  

Things to consider: If there’s a talent or skill that you’re proud of, this is the time to share it. You don’t necessarily have to be recognized or have received awards for your talent (although if you did and you want to talk about, feel free to do so).

Why is this talent or skill meaningful to you? Does the talent come naturally or have you worked hard to develop this skill or talent? Does your talent or skill allow you opportunities inside or outside the classroom? If so, what are they and how do they fit into your schedule?

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced.

Things to consider: An educational opportunity can be anything that has added value to your educational experience and better prepared you for college. For example, participation in an honors or academic enrichment program, or enrollment in an academy that’s geared toward an occupation or a major, or taking advanced courses that interest you — just to name a few.

If you choose to write about educational barriers you’ve faced, how did you overcome or strive to overcome them? What personal characteristics or skills did you call on to overcome this challenge? How did overcoming this barrier help shape who are you today?

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?

Things to consider: A challenge could be personal, or something you have faced in your community or school. Why was the challenge significant to you? This is a good opportunity to talk about any obstacles you’ve faced and what you’ve learned from the experience. Did you have support from someone else or did you handle it alone?

If you’re currently working your way through a challenge, what are you doing now, and does that affect different aspects of your life? For example, ask yourself, “How has my life changed at home, at my school, with my friends, or with my family?”

 Describe your favorite academic subject and explain how it has influenced you.

Things to consider: Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had inside and outside the classroom — such as volunteer work, summer programs, participation in student organizations and/or activities — and what you have gained from your involvement. Has your interest in the subject influenced you in choosing a major and/or career? Have you been able to pursue coursework at a higher level in this subject (honors, AP, IB, college or university work)?

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?  

Things to consider: Think of community as a term that can encompass a group, team or a place — like your high school, hometown, or home. You can define community as you see fit, just make sure you talk about your role in that community.

Was there a problem that you wanted to fix in your community? Why were you inspired to act? What did you learn from your effort? How did your actions benefit others, the wider community, or both? Did you work alone or with others to initiate change in your community?

What is the one thing that you think sets you apart from other candidates applying to the University of California?

Things to consider: Don’t be afraid to brag a little. Even if you don’t think you’re unique, you are — remember, there’s only one of you in the world. From your point of view, what do you feel makes you belong on one of UC’s campuses? When looking at your life, what does a stranger need to understand in order to know you? What have you not shared with us that will highlight a skill, talent, challenge, or opportunity that you think will help us know you better? We’re not necessarily looking for what makes you unique compared to others, but what makes you, YOU.

When choosing your four prompts, keep in mind that you will want to cover a very broad range in your four essays.

If you find yourself repeating topics in a couple of the essays, you may want to diversify. For example, if you are writing an essay for the fourth prompt about an educational barrier, and also one for the fifth prompt about overcoming a significant challenge, make sure that the essays are different from each other. You want to say as much as you can about yourself, and you only have a total of 1400 words to do so, so don’t waste precious words repeating yourself!

Also, don’t necessarily start drafting ideas until you’ve thought about all of the prompts. Do any of these questions provoke an immediate, strong response from you? If yes, then definitely write about those. However, it is likely that you will not have immediate responses to four of the prompts, and that is perfectly fine. You can also approach the process from the opposite direction — what topics are important to you, and how can you use those topics as responses to some of these questions?

In general, remember that the UC system wants to see you as a real person. Think about what makes you special, use your own voice, and tell your own story! 

Check out our blog post The Ultimate Guide to Applying to the University of California to get a comprehensive understanding of how to apply to the UC system.

Want help with your college essays to improve your admissions chances? Sign up for your free CollegeVine account and get access to our essay guides and courses. You can also get your essay peer-reviewed and improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

University of California (UC) Personal Insight Questions Guide: 2021-2022

Not sure how to approach the UC Personal Insight Questions? With tips from an Ivy League graduate, CollegeAdvisor.com’s guide to the UC essay prompts will show you how to write engaging UC essay prompts.  Using both the UC essays guide and our UC PIQ examples, you can stand out from the crowd and maximize your admissions odds.

Want help crafting your UC personal insight questions? Create your free  account  or schedule a no-cost advising consultation by calling (844) 343-6272.

There are nine University of California campuses that offer undergraduate programs. The tenth campus, UC San Francisco, only offers graduate programs in the health sciences. Each campus requires essay responses for the UC Personal Insight Questions (PIQs). In this guide, we’ll walk through each of the UC Personal Insight Questions. We’ll also break down what each UC school looks for in its applicants.

UC  Personal Insight Questions Essay Guide Quick Facts:

• UC Berkeley  has an acceptance rate of 14.5%— U.S. News  ranks UC Berkeley as a  highly competitive  school.
• UC Davis  has an acceptance rate of 49%— U.S. News  ranks UC Davis as a  competitive  school.
• UC Irvine  has an acceptance rate of 29%— U.S. News  ranks UC Irvine as a  competitive  school.
• UC Los Angeles  has an acceptance rate of 10.8%— U.S. News  ranks UCLA as a  highly competitive  school.
• UC San Diego  has an acceptance rate of 34.3%— U.S. News  ranks UC San Diego as a  highly competitive  school.
• UC Santa Barbara  has an acceptance rate of 29.2%— U.S. News  ranks UC Santa Barbara as a  highly competitive  school.
• We recommend answering the UC Personal Insight Questions comprehensively and thoughtfully.

UC Merced ,  UC Riverside , and  UC Santa Cruz  are not ranked in the top 100 schools on U.S. News.

What are the UC Personal Insight Questions?

The UC Personal Insight Questions are UC essay  prompts  specific to the University of California campuses . The UC system does not accept the Common or Coalition Application —instead, they use their own application system called UC Apply. You can find the main UC application  here .

Looking for more information on how to navigate UC Apply? Check out our webinar hosted by a UC alumnus.

Read on for tips on the UC Personal Insight Questions as well as information about successful UC essay examples. Need tips on writing your Common App essay for other schools? Check out our  blog article .

How Many UC Essays are Required?

There are a total of eight UC Personal Insight Questions. You will only choose and complete four UC essay prompts, however. All eight UC PIQs are accepted at all of the University of California schools. This means you’ll have a bit of flexibility when writing your UC essays.

Below, we will walk you through all of the UC essay prompts. We’re also proud to feature our UC PIQ examples  here . Our UC PIQ examples include information from admissions officers about why each of the UC essay examples worked. Struggling to respond to the UC essay prompts? These UC Personal Insight Questions examples are a great place to start! Reading the UC essay examples will give you added insight on how to approach the UC essay prompts.

Remember that you will only need to respond to four UC essay prompts. Use this guide to determine which of the UC essay prompts is best for you!

How Long is Each UC Essay?

Each of the UC essay prompts has a maximum of 350 words. This is equal to about one double-spaced page for each of the UC essay prompts.

When reviewing our UC PIQ examples, you might notice that the UC essays feel long compared to other supplemental essays. However, once you read these UC Personal Insight Questions examples and start writing your responses to the UC essay prompts, you may find 350 words feels like relatively little space to answer the UC essay prompts!

Which UC Essay Should I Write?

Narrowing down which four UC essay prompts to respond to may be challenging—but don’t stress. No single UC PIQ will make or break your application. Read over the UC essay prompts and remind yourself—there is no wrong choice.

Struggling to select a prompt? Return to the UC Personal Insight Questions examples. From a Science Olympiad to a bullied student with a vocal coach, and finally, the teen hotline volunteer—notice how each of the UC PIQ examples offers a different perspective. Take your cue from the UC essay examples. A successful UC essay is not about prompt selection—it’s about how you write it.

You should select each UC essay based on what you think best reflects your identity, experiences, and personal circumstances. The most effective UC essay will be honest and well-written while allowing your personality to shine through. Read on for details about each of the UC essay prompts and more information on successful UC essay examples.

How to write UC Application Essays:

Uc personal insight questions — essay 1.

Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes or contributed to group efforts over time. (350 words maximum)

This guide will walk you through responding to all of the UC PIQs. Looking at the first UC essay, this UC PIQ asks you to discuss a leadership role you’ve held. It also asks you to reflect on the impact you had on others during this experience. Remember, leadership can mean more than just being president of a club at school. Leadership can also come from mentoring others, taking care of family members, or taking initiative in a volunteer position.

However you define leadership, make sure you write about an activity that is important to you. Have you resolved a dispute between members of an extracurricular organization that you belong to? Perhaps you took over for someone at church when they had to step down last minute from planning an event.

Additionally, leadership does not necessarily have to mean that you’re the one person “in charge.” You can discuss how you have contributed to group efforts in a collaborative way, working closely with a team of others to make a positive impact and lead by example. Let’s take a look at how they accomplished this in the UC Personal Insight Questions examples.

UC essay example

In the UC essay examples, one writer discusses her experience as a Science Olympiad in high school:

“ Three thousand, four hundred and seventy-one dollars. That was the bill for the hotel room expenses alone for our thirty-member excursion. And those were the least of my worries for the weekend. Between drilling wood pieces into a working frame for Air Trajectory and tying a knot in floss to build a pendulum, I was running down the halls, talking to worried parents on the phone, anatomy textbook in hand. The other captains study while I ensure everyone eats dinner and sleeps by 2 am, responsible as the school’s sole legal representative for ensuring typical high school shenanigans of music blasting didn’t manifest into real danger. ”

All of the UC essay examples begin with great anecdotes that pull the reader into the story, and the first of the UC essay examples is no different. Let’s tease out some of the information that this writer provides in the first few sentences of their UC PIQ. From reading, we know that they are a captain, which establishes their leadership role in the organization. We also know that they carry many responsibilities. From keeping track of trip expenses to overseeing team members’ welfare and acting as an informal representative with the hotel. Successful UC essay examples, like this, will show and not tell.

Be detailed

Like in the UC personal insight questions examples, and specifically, in the UC PIQ example above, you should provide context for your answer. In other words, describe the leadership position and organization and pay specific attention to your role. Another great way to discuss leadership is by demonstrating how you noticed something was missing and stepped in to fulfill the need. Admissions officers will want to hear about how and why you ended up in the position you were in. They’ll also want to know what you did in that position and what you learned from it.

Next, talk about your own actions and impact. Once you give context, then you can get into specifics. Did you elect to be in the leadership position? Did you offer to help a friend with their project and find you wanted to take on a more serious role?  Were you unsure of your capabilities as a leader and then proved your doubts wrong?

You will also want to reflect on the leadership experience itself. Was something about the situation particularly challenging? Did it make you realize you were a born leader? Did you gain a quality or notice an attribute about yourself that you’re proud of? Reflection is an important part of all the UC Personal Insight Questions.

UC essay example feedback

Finally, let’s review some of the feedback from the UC essay examples article for this UC PIC response. According to a former admission officer, “This essay works because the author not only demonstrates their leadership skills but also highlights the qualities and characteristics that make her a successful leader.” Finally, in the UC personal insight questions examples article, the admissions officer comments that “Beyond demonstrating her leadership, she effectively shows the admissions committee the type of student she will be on campus and how she will possibly contribute to the community.”

When crafting your own essay response, think about how your leadership experience works on broader terms. Does your chosen experience for this UC essay communicate a positive influence you had within a community? If not, you may want to consider if this is the strongest experience you can write on.

While we reviewed portions of the first UC Personal Insight Questions examples, you can read the rest of the UC PIQ response and the admission officer’s feedback in  CollegeAdvisor’s UC essay examples article. As with all of the provided UC essay examples, remember that you don’t need to model your UC PIQ response after them. What made the UC personal insight questions most effective is their authenticity. The University of California also publishes a UC Personal Insight Questions  guide  for applying freshmen.

UC PIQ Draft Key Questions:

• Do you define what leadership means to you?
• Does your UC PIQ essay directly describe how you made a positive impact, resolved a dispute, or worked with others?
• Like the first of the UC essay examples, does your draft  reflect  on your role in the community?

UC Personal Insight Questions — Essay 2

Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. (350 words maximum)

This UC PIQ might push you to think further outside the box than some of the other UC essay prompts. Creativity can take many different shapes and forms; every industry has some sort of creative aspect. When this UC essay says “creative,” they’re asking what kinds of things or experiences do you  create  in your daily life. How do you innovate?

Your answer to this UC essay could discuss a more conventional creative outlet, such as poetry or visual art. You could also write about a less conventional activity. This could look like making your own crossword puzzles or talking about an entrepreneurial project or a nonprofit startup you are working on.

In this UC essay, you will first want to describe  what  it is that you do. Paint a picture of your creative outlet. What is your creative process? Once you have used active storytelling to talk about the  what , you can turn to the  why . Is this something you started doing for others, as a performance-based activity, or is it something that you use as a calming and centering activity in private?

Let’s look at the UC personal insight questions examples article again. In the second of the provided UC essay examples, the author wrote the following:

“ 440 Hz exactly. The flames flare to life, forming the perfect wavelength as I transitioned from note to note, the curves transitioning along. My classmates crowded around as I sang (shouted?) into the Ruben’s tube, a simple PVC pipe with holes cut at even intervals so that high notes translated to beautiful waves of flames.

The fight to get a vocal teacher in the first place was an uphill run. Singing, unlike playing the piano or learning to draw, wasn’t deemed worthy of spending money on – wasn’t even seen as a skill. After multiple pitches, I finally got my way, just a foot in the door: one month. ”

Each of the UC personal insight questions examples begins with a really strong story, and this UC essay is no different. The author doesn’t hop right in and tell us she sings and has a vocal coach. Instead, she draws readers in with a story that at first glance seems unrelated.

UC essay examples like the one above are most successful because they offer a brief history of how the student became involved with their creative activity. Other things to consider when you draft a response to this UC PIQ: end with a few thoughts on how this activity has shaped you and discuss what you’ve learned from it. Will you continue to pursue this creative activity while at school? How will this creativity inform your academic and personal development?

Whatever creative activity you choose to describe, make sure it is something that you  enjoy  doing. Your passion will shine through in your writing and make your UC essay engaging and dynamic. These UC Personal Insight Questions aim to reveal who you are on a deeper level than just the academic and extracurricular information you have already listed on your application. Admissions officers want to read your responses to the UC essay prompts and feel like they know you.

In fact, in the UC personal insight questions article, the former admissions officer notes how well the student who wrote the UC PIQ above highlighted her creativity by “weaving in examples of finding and using her voice in various situations.” Like in the second of the UC essay examples, your response to this prompt should just be a discussion of something creative you like to do, but how that creative pursuit has shaped your life.

• Does your essay give an example of a creative endeavor you enjoy?
• Like in the second of the UC personal insight questions examples, do you connect what you do with why you do it?
• Does your essay gesture towards how this creative activity connects to your future goals or your success at UC?

UC Personal Insight Questions — Essay 3

What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (350 words maximum)

This UC essay asks you to do something a little different from other UC PIQ, and that might not come naturally to you—brag about yourself. Of course, you will want to keep a humble tone. However, this UC essay prompt is asking what you do best. In this UC PIQ, you should write about a time when you stood out or a time when you were the best at something. Do you have an interesting hidden talent? If so, this might be the essay for you!

Talent vs. skill

If you are having a hard time thinking of particular talents you have, you might turn to the second option in this prompt: a skill. A skill can be anything from an accomplishment to a trait you like about yourself. Perhaps you never fail to make your friends laugh, even in the most stressful of situations. Maybe your biggest strength is that you’re an incredibly empathetic person. You could provide anecdotes of times when empathy has helped you, perhaps to understand a friend when they needed help that they couldn’t articulate.

You will want to include a narrative arc in this UC essay. Here, Admissions Officers will be looking to read a story of what your talent is, how you have developed it, and why it means so much to you. You could describe an obstacle you have faced while performing this skill or talent and then demonstrate growth in how you overcame that obstacle.

As you respond to this UC PIQ, you want to show that you value creative pursuits and that you will bring your creative skills to the UC campuses. How has this activity offered you a new perspective on other aspects of your experiences? How does this creative activity interact with other areas of your life?

Let’s look at how one student approached this prompt in the third of our UC personal insight questions examples. The second paragraph in our provided UC essay examples is the heart of why this author’s response was successful.

“ The best swimmers are 5’10” with broad shoulders and huge feet. These characteristics are advantages during competitions because the athletes are able to move faster in the pool without being pushed back by the waves. I am not a typical swimmer. I am half-Black and half-Mexican, topping out at a whopping 5’0″. My skills are not Olympic-bound, but I am passionate about the sport despite the fact that I initially felt like an outlier. ”

Let your self-awareness shine through

As you can see, the author isn’t necessarily bragging, which you may see in many UC PIQ examples. Instead, she readily admits that she may not be the best swimmer, but it is her greatest  skill , one that she’s passionate about and has developed since the age of eight. UC PIQ examples like this demonstrate that there are many ways to answer this prompt, especially if you don’t feel that you have any talents/skills. Like the author, think of the things that you’re passionate about and have been practicing for years. While you may not be a prodigy, you have most likely become skilled. Let the passion and dedication that you feel for this talent/skill shine through in your response. Additionally, UC PIQ examples like this are effective because the author doesn’t just establish her skill but talks about what the skill/talent has brought her.

“ Even though I used to get lonely when swimming, I found a huge amount of joy in being a part of the sport at my high school. Our team started off with only six members, most of whom had never even been to a swim meet before. Eventually, we gained enough participants and experience to compete against other schools. We were neither the largest nor the fastest team, but I did not care. I had finally found a group of people I connected with. ”

Of the three UC personal insight questions examples, this draws the reader into the author’s vulnerabilities. Not only does she “confess” to not being the greatest swimmer, but she talks of how lonely she found her skill until she was able to find community in her high school swim team. The former admissions officer in the UC PIQ examples article, says that this is the author’s strength.

This essay works because it’s touching and speaks to the admissions officers’ emotional side. This applicant scores high on the likability factor. As a reader, you are able to quickly connect with the author and find yourself cheering for them. The student comes across as dedicated, determined, humble, appreciative, caring, and sincere – which is a lot to accomplish in just 350 words.

In other words, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable in your UC essay prompts, this can be an effective way to connect with your readers.

As you can see from the third of our UC personal insight questions examples, there are different ways to answer this UC PIQ! Check out the remainder of this author’s essay in our UC essay examples article.

• Does your essay define what your skill or talent is?
• Have you discussed how you’ve worked at this talent over time?
• Do you sound proud of yourself?
• Do you fit this accomplishment into who you are as a person and who you hope to be on a UC campus?

UC Personal Insight Questions — Essay 4

Describe how you have taken advantage of a significant educational opportunity or worked to overcome an educational barrier you have faced. (350 words maximum)

This UC essay asks about your journey in overcoming a specific hardship. You will want to take readers through the narrative arc you followed while you were living through your chosen experience. You will then want to discuss the resonance of this event for the rest of your life, with specific regard to your academic career. This emphasis on academics sets this UC PIQ apart from other UC essay prompts.

How to discuss an educational opportunity

There are two directions you can take when writing this UC PIQ. If you discuss an educational opportunity, you should first describe what the opportunity was and how you came to do it. You should then focus on describing how you made the most of this opportunity. It’s one thing to go to the best summer intensive research program in your field, and it’s another thing to follow up with one of the professors you meet there and pursue a personal project with them as a mentor.

You’ll want to talk about how you utilized the resources that this opportunity provided in order to squeeze the most out of it. This UC essay prompt examines how much of a go-getter you are, so show that to the Admissions Officers!

How to discuss an educational barrier

You might also choose to follow the second avenue this UC PIQ offers and discuss a setback or barrier you encountered. If you go this route, you will first want to define and contextualize the challenge you faced. Because this UC essay specifically asks about an  educational  barrier, you want to make sure that the experience you discuss impacted your academic life specifically. If you have a non-academic-related challenge that deeply impacted your life, save that for UC PIQ 5. You’ll want to pay careful attention to what each of the UC essay prompts asks of you and be sure to respond directly to the  question  in each of the UC Personal Insight Questions.

After you define the challenge, explain how you overcame it. Focus on your strategies, ideas, and actions specifically. This is the work that you did to defeat the barrier and come out stronger on the other side. You’ll want to demonstrate how you learned or matured from your experience. If you need inspiration, check out our UC Personal Insight Questions examples; you’ll notice that growth and maturity are common themes.

You will also want to reflect a bit on how this experience affected you long term. How did this barrier influence other aspects of your life? What did you gain from the opportunity you had? You could mention any professional skills or qualities that you might have developed from your chosen experience and how you will carry those with you in your future endeavors. In all of these UC essay prompts, you will want to gesture toward your future intentions; Admissions Officers would like to see that you’re forward-thinking in your responses to the UC Personal Insight Questions.

• Do you address a topic specifically related to your academic experience?
• Does your essay show that you learned something from the experience?
• Does your essay demonstrate a thoughtful approach to your academic career and opportunities?

UC Personal Insight Questions — Essay 5

Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement? (350 words maximum)

Overcoming a challenge is a classic college supplemental essay topic, and the UC essay prompts are no exception. Admissions Officers want to see how you handle a crisis and how you move forward in the face of adversity when they read your UC PIQ responses.

Make sure it’s a “real” challenge

This UC essay asks for  the most  significant challenge you’ve ever faced—so try to pick something bigger than your first C on a test. This UC PIQ should discuss a time when you faced a setback but did not let that setback beat you. As you can see from reading successful UC PIQ examples, Admissions Officers will be looking for your resourcefulness, creativity, and problem-solving skills when they are reading this UC essay. Make sure you focus on describing the  how  and not just the  what  in this UC PIQ.

In a college environment, you will likely face unexpected academic and personal challenges. UC wants to know that you can struggle, or even fail, and come back stronger than before. This UC PIQ asks you to prove that you will face any challenges head-on and not be overwhelmed when things take a turn for the worse.

Be sure to demonstrate growth

In this UC essay, be sure to clearly address both what the problem was and how you fixed it. Focus on your storytelling abilities to connect point A (the setback) to point B (your solution). Admissions Officers are looking for your creativity and problem-solving methodology: what is the process you use when addressing a challenge? Why was this challenge such a meaningful one to you? What was at stake for you? You will want to indicate that you perform well under pressure in this UC essay.

Once you have described both the challenge and your process in overcoming it, you should turn to the final part of this UC PIQ; that is, you’ll want to discuss the relationship between this challenge and your academics. Be sure to address how the challenge you faced impacted your academic achievement in particular, though the challenge itself does not have to be an academic one. You should describe how overcoming this challenge resonated throughout your life and perhaps changed your perspective, provided you a new way of thinking, or altered your academic path in some way. These UC Personal Insight Questions want you to showcase what kind of student you are and how you will succeed on the UC campuses.

• Do you explain why this challenge was so important to you?
• Does your UC PIQ response demonstrate how you solved or addressed the challenge?
• Do you reflect on the impact of overcoming this challenge?

UC Personal Insight Questions — Essay 6

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. (350 words maximum)

You might read this UC PIQ and know exactly what subject you want to write about. It might be clear that you have a passion for English because you took AP Language and AP Literature, you’re in the journalism club, you write for the school literary magazine, and tutor ESL students after school. Even if you have all of these great examples, you will still want to address  why  this subject inspires you. What is it about literature or the English language that excites you? Maybe you’re obsessed with grammar, or maybe you read translations in their original language and then in English to discover any discrepancies. This UC PIQ gives you a valuable opportunity to discuss your academic inspirations and where they come from!

However, you might not have such an easy response to this UC PIQ. Maybe you’re passionate about multiple subjects, or maybe you only discovered your true passion a few months ago and don’t have that many specific experiences to discuss. If no subject immediately jumps to mind when you look at this UC essay, you can still answer this UC PIQ! Once again, refer to the UC Personal Insight Questions examples for more guidance.

In this UC PIQ, you don’t have to write about your favorite subject or the subject where you got the very best grades. Instead, you can write about an academic subject that really challenged you, for example, and discuss how that inspired you to go above and beyond what was required in the classroom in order to grasp the material better.

Make connections between your chosen academic subject and your other interests

You could also connect an extracurricular to an academic subject in a more abstract way. Maybe you love physics, and you use your understanding of the body in motion to aid you in dance competitions outside of school. Maybe a love of math translates into a love of baking because you devise your own recipes and perfect the ratios of ingredients.

Whatever you choose to write about in this UC PIQ, make sure you tie everything back together to the subject which sparks your interest. You should also give anecdotal details about things you have done either inside the classroom, outside the classroom, or, or if you can, both.

In this UC essay, you should aim to show how you are goal-oriented and directed in your studies and extracurriculars. You’ll want to synthesize your academic and non-academic activities to reinforce an interest in your chosen subject. Show that you’re passionate, use specific anecdotal examples, and illustrate what you have learned from your chosen subject.

• Does your UC essay clearly communicate the topic which excites you?
• Do you articulate why your chosen subject matters to you, and how it has influenced your growth and identity?
• Does your UC PIQ supplement and/or complicate the other aspects of your application, with special regard to academic preferences?

UC Personal Insight Questions — Essay 7

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? (350 words maximum)

This UC PIQ asks how you interact with those around you. There are many ways to understand “community,” so you should begin your UC essay by defining what community means to you. Are you talking about a club or organization, a certain place where you feel at home, or a group of people? You might also mention what makes you feel connected to this community— why  it is so meaningful to you. If you decide to write about your school, make sure you clarify that as your chosen definition of community for this UC essay.

In order to reflect on your impact on your community, you should first define the particular areas for growth you noticed in this community. You might want to describe how your connection with your community helped you to see what they needed or what you could give to them.

Here, you will show your capacity for empathy and your ability to think big-picture, especially with regard to an organization or group of people that might be close to your heart. This will show Admissions Officers that you can think critically, which is what the UC Personal Insight Questions are all about.

Be specific

Once you explain how you identified a problem or a challenge facing your community, you will want to discuss the concrete steps you took towards fixing this problem.  How  did you improve your chosen community? This UC essay wants to understand how you interact with those around you in meaningful and effective ways.

Be as specific as possible in your UC PIQ response. Walk your reader through your journey of joining this community, discovering a need within the community, and filing that need with your problem-solving skills. You should also frontload your decision-making process as you write this UC essay. In your UC PIQ response, Admissions Officers want to see how you will contribute to the community on the UC campuses.

UC example essay

Let’s look at the creative way that one student approached this in the fourth example in our UC PIQ examples article. The final essay in our UC Personal Insight Questions examples broaches a heavy subject and begins with a vivid anecdote.

“Hi, this is Teen Line, what’s bothering you tonight?” That simple phrase rings through the tiny room, merely enough space for a few desks and chairs. On one end of the line is a teenager, sharing stories of anything from the dark dread of depression and anxiety to a plea for a savior from the downward spiral of suicide. A tearful voice, desperate for help – a girl barely in high school, suffering at the hands of her “friends” and on the brink of suicide, complete with a plan to choke herself with a dog leash.

UC example essay feedback

UC personal insight questions examples like this one show the power of a strong beginning to draw in your readers. The author goes on to discuss her participation in Teen Line, a non-profit nationwide teen helpline. She defines community not only as of the teens that she talks to in her immediate area but also as of the national and international callers as well. The best UC PIQ examples show you how you can take your reader on a journey in 350 words or less. This is reflected in the former admissions officer’s strong feedback.

Sometimes admissions officers have to present candidates before a larger committee. This is an example where, if it came down to it, an officer would probably fight to ensure this student is admitted to the college or university if the rest of their application materials were strong overall, but perhaps slightly weaker in some areas. Simply put, this is a student an admissions officer would want as part of their campus community.

Among the UC personal insight questions examples that we cover in our UC PIQ examples article, this is a great example of how to discuss sensitive topics like depression and suicide.

• Do you define what community means to you?
• Does your essay describe both the problem you found within the community and the solution you crafted to address this problem?
• Does your essay reflect on the journey of your experience and the problem-solving skills you employed?

UC Personal Insight Questions — Essay 8

Beyond what has already been shared in your application, what do you believe makes you stand out as a strong candidate for admissions to the University of California? (350 words maximum)

This UC essay seems misleadingly simple; you may think this UC PIQ asks you to respond with  anything  that you feel makes you a strong applicant, but that is not entirely true. You will want to think very hard about whether the information you share in this UC essay could easily be a response to any of the other UC essay prompts. If so, choose that prompt instead. The previous 7 UC PIQ prompts cover a lot of ground, so read through those UC Personal Insight Questions and review the UC PIQ examples before choosing this prompt.

When you should answer this prompt

You should only select this UC PIQ if you have something extraordinary to write about that genuinely has  no other place  anywhere on the application for you to discuss it. Though the prompt asks for what makes you stand out, you have lots of other places to demonstrate what makes you stand out from other applicants in the other UC essay prompts. Notably, this UC PIQ does not appear in our UC Personal Insight Questions examples, as it’s much more open-ended.

For example, if you’re considering answering this question by talking about the time you overcame a chronic illness that kept you out of school for months at a time, you could also respond to UC essay 5 with this answer. Did you grow up in a suburban town with same-sex parents and face homophobia towards your family because your peers all had a mom and a dad? That’s a unique experience you could definitely write about for this UC essay.

How you should answer this prompt

If you’re having trouble, return to the UC Personal Insight Questions examples. Notice how each of the UC essay examples is unique. Just because this UC PIQ is more open-ended doesn’t mean it’s the only one that will let you be creative. If there’s one thing to learn from the UC Personal Insight Questions examples, it’s that any prompt will let you be creative.

Your response to this UC essay should describe your unique situation or experience. It should also turn outwards to demonstrate how this experience, skill, or activity sets you apart from other UC applicants. This UC essay can help readers understand how you will help diversify campus through your lived experience. It can also help explain any gaps or dips in your grades or the rest of your application.

You will want to be direct and specific in this UC essay. Honesty is important here; try not to exaggerate too much with your tone or over-dramatize your story. Since you’re writing about an experience that is specific and unique to you, you don’t need to do the work of performatively explaining just  how  unique your activity, talent, or experience is. The topic you discuss should speak for itself.

• Does your essay respond to a different prompt in the UC PIQ examples?
• Do you use straightforward language to discuss your chosen topic?
• Does your essay describe what happened to you, how it affected you, and how this will impact the perspective you bring to the UC campuses?

What Should I Put in the Additional Comments Section of the UC application?

There are two additional comments sections of the UC application. These are separate from the UC Personal Insight Questions and are not covered by our UC Personal Insight Questions examples. One is listed under the Academic History section, and the second is listed under the Personal Insight section.

For additional comments under Academic History, you should address only your academic record. This includes your transcript and grades, course choices, and anything you did not have the opportunity to discuss previously in the academic section or anywhere in your UC essay prompts.

For additional comments under Personal Insight, you should  not  discuss anything to do with your academic record. Instead, use this space to elaborate on the extracurricular section of the application. This is the space for more detail on an experience that was very meaningful to you. However, be careful about how you use this space. Ask yourself if what you’re sharing is really necessary to your application. Try to use the UC PIQ prompts to say anything you would want to say here.

Both of these sections are optional. You should not feel obligated to fill these sections with additional information if everything you want to share with your readers has been discussed in your UC essay prompts. UC Berkeley offers some advice on how to utilize this section of the application  here .

UC Personal Insight Questions—Final Thoughts

Completing the UC essay prompts can seem daunting, but don’t let that discourage you from applying. The UC essay prompts are a great opportunity to demonstrate who you are beyond your grades and test scores.

We hope that this UC personal insight questions guide as well as our UC essay examples will help jumpstart your thinking! Your UC essays can boost your application if you have a lower than average GPA or  SAT score . Use this UC personal insight questions guide as a step-by-step aid when approaching the UC essay prompts. And if you want more support, don’t forget to read our UC personal insight questions examples for feedback from Admissions Officers on various UC essay examples.

UC video resources

You can also view these videos on UC PIQ prompts from the University of California:

Additionally, start earlier than you think you should when responding to the UC essay examples. It’s always important to leave yourself time to draft, and this is especially true with the UC PIQ prompts. As you can likely tell from our UC PIQ examples, strong UC essays don’t appear overnight.

Remember, the UC essay prompts are for four essays of equal length, and each of the UC PIQ prompts holds equal importance. Be considerate when selecting which of the UC PIQs to write about. Select four UC essay prompts that cater best to your lived experiences. If you find yourself struggling to come up with a compelling answer to one of your chosen UC essay prompts, go back to our UC PIQ examples or try another PIQ!

You can also read additional UC personal insight questions examples in this 2019  Insider  article. The two UC PIQ examples in the piece showcase unique backgrounds and the creative ways each author approached their essay.  Also, don’t be afraid to ask for revisions on your UC personal insight questions from a trusted adult; it’s helpful to have another set of eyes checking your UC PIQ responses for grammatical errors, tone, and clarity. Good luck!

This 2021-2022 essay guide on the University of California was written by  Laura Frustaci , Harvard ‘21. For more CollegeAdvisor.com resources on the University of California, click  here . Want help crafting your UC Personal Insight Questions? Create your free  account  or  schedule a no-cost  advising consultation by calling (844) 343-6272.

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UC Berkeley Essays That Worked

Successful UC Berkeley Admissions Essay: Intro

So, you want to get into one of the top public schools in the United States: UC Berkeley.

Of course, getting in means having strong essays that will beat out the rest of the competition. If you’re looking for a solid UC Berkeley essay that worked, look no further. Here in this article, we will cover a successful application essay to Berkeley. But first, how do you know that our sample essay is better than others?

Well, this essay actually helped our applicant get into Berkeley with lower scores than average. This usually goes for all of our other admissions essays, which you can find here , here , here , and here .

Let’s see how our applicant’s scores were compared to the competition.

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Successful Berkeley Applicant Scores

• SAT Evidence-Based Reading and Writing: 660
• SAT Mathematics: 660
• SAT Essay: 17
• AP Courses: None

UC Berkeley Freshman Admission Profile.

You can check out more information on their admission profile through the University of California website . With that said, consider this. Her marks are significantly lower than those of the average applicant’s

As you can see, a good admissions essay makes a huge difference.

In fact, a strong set of UC PIQs can compensate for a low GPA or SAT/ACT scores. There are countless reasons why strong PIQ essays help you stand out from the rest of the competition. And, we’ve covered this more in-depth “here” .

We attribute this article’s essay’s success to two things:

• Being well-written enough to make up for her lower scores
• A strong essay topic that demonstrated she was more capable than the average applicant.

UC Berkeley Essays That Worked: Sample Essay

“My local library hosts graphic novel contests annually, and about a year ago, I took second place. It was a memorable experience for me, as the contest provided an opportunity for me to showcase one of my passions: art. I have been interested in art for as long as I can remember. Growing up, I looked at the world through aesthetic lenses, from deciphering the patterns and colors of my mother’s flower garden to sitting in class and transforming my classmates into lines and shades in my notebook. Over the years, coursework and extracurriculars left me with dwindling time to draw, but my passion for it as a hobby wasn’t subdued. Throughout high school, I was far from confident or talkative, but art has opened many opportunities for me to collaborate with others and reach out to people with the same interests. My artistic ability is a quality that I am very proud of and will strive to develop here and in the future. My curiosity for the arts started at a young age. I remember doodling nonsensical illustrations in my mother’s cookbook and asking her to draw stick figures for me. In 5th grade, my friend lent me a comic book, filled with illustrations that sparked my journey into drawing.  From then on, I spent my days and nights cramming in as many illustrations as I could. Something about creating a work of art from my own hands fascinated me. I found a home in art, not only within myself but with others as well. I was a meek child, one of those kids people called “quiet” and “shy” in class. However, immersing myself in art helped me to open up and develop social skills, slowly bringing me out of my shell. I started to sell my illustrations as well as do custom requests. This taught me to develop business skills and learn how to talk with others.  I also took my hobby online: I shared my work on online communities, gaining an audience of fellow artist friends who encouraged me to continue to create. The sociality I lacked in school, I gained in the form of friends on the internet. I continued to branch out, eventually doing freelance work in an online manga label with a group of other artists. It was an incredibly rewarding and unique experience for me. Working with others not only gave me a space to express my thoughts and passions; it also taught me to effectively handle deadlines and disagreements. Through this, I learned that not everyone has the same reasoning and ideas, and collaboration and working together is crucial for success. Lastly, art has also taught me balance, as above being an artist, I was a student. Through this hobby, I learned to allocate my time properly between the too.            I’ve been drawing for almost a decade, but never in my life did I think my passion would  become a catalyst for me to establish qualities important for my future. Art brought others to me, thus allowing me to interact with them and develop the skills I needed to talk to people. Because I desired to share my work and improve my talent, I gained new friends and joined a group where I can showcase my creations and gain an understanding of what it’s like to work with others with the same interests, but varying ideas. I don’t wish to pursue art as a main career. However, it is still just as precious to me. Ultimately for me, I did not only create art, I created skills and qualities in me that prove useful to me way past the realm of lines and colors on paper.” Example UC Berkeley Essay That Worked –PenningPapers

Here are a few things to consider about our successful UC Berkeley essays that worked.

Note that these variables aren’t always required in every essay. Each essay is different, and unique to everyone’s circumstances. But, these are all variables we noticed had worked for other essays.

• Declaring a Future Major: Declaring a major can significantly improve your admissions chances. Our applicant mentioned in the first paragraph why they’re passionate about pursuing art. Additionally, they showed how they were competent in their field. However, you should note that it’s not mandatory to declare your major. You can still write a solid UCB essay without having to say you know exactly what your major is. After all, most students are not aware of what they want to do with their careers in the future. Nonetheless, whether you decide to show whether you know your major or not, you should establish certainty. Students who don’t know their major can still show that they’re certain about their future and not wandering in the dark. They would need to mention the steps they’re taking to learn more about what they want to pursue, or the kinds of fields they may show interest in without having to dedicate quite yet.
• Awards or Victories: Our applicant demonstrated that they were competent in their desired field through their success in awards. Awards show admissions officers the applicant isn’t just competent but also beats the rest of the competition. Any awards you earn are a fantastic way of standing out to top universities. Now, this is not to say winning awards is mandatory. Victories outside of competitive spheres can also demonstrate your strength. You just need to know how to articulate your growth and positive attributes to admissions officers correctly.
• Exponential Growth: This application makes very clear the exponential personal growth that the student has made over time. She was talented in art but struggled with socializing. She elaborates on improving her social skills through her art, showing she can overcome obstacles despite imperfections.

One critical point to make is the lack of depth in imagery. This essay isn’t as profoundly deep in imagery and detail as it could be. Additionally, imagery is best placed at the beginning of the essay. This helps admissions officers see your writing prowess and details early on.

Nonetheless, having deeper imagery in the introduction and body paragraphs would have given the admissions essay even more weight.

Have questions about our successful UC Berkeley essays that worked? Or, perhaps you wish to get accepted into Berkeley without stellar extracurriculars, GPA, and SAT/ACT scores. Talk with us to have expert admissions advice and consulting to optimize your chances of getting into your dream school!

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