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Latest stories, 155 good roasts that burn so bad, a good roast among friends makes for a savage good time..

Woman delivering good roasts and funny insults through megaphone

The Dean Martin Celebrity Roast premiered back in 1974. It stayed on the air for 10 years and still remains one of the most popular television shows of all time. Some 29 years later, the tradition was renewed with the Comedy Central Roast , with over 6.4 million viewers tuning in for its most popular episode. If the networks haven't made it obvious enough, we'll make it clear: Everyone loves a good roast . While a roast can come in handy during unfortunate encounters with people you don't know, they're always best applied in conversations with people you do. After all, a good comeback gives you clout and lends itself to a fun, friendly exchange. And, of course, roasts are a great way to put a pin in any conversation you don't feel like carrying on any further. If you need some help getting started, then check out the list below. We collected some fresh material to help you roast your good friends really bad.

RELATED: 110 Funny Insults to Roast Everyone in Your Life .

Good Roasts for All the Haters

  • This will be the first and last roast of the night, as we've already used up your entire vocabulary.
  • It seems like you were probably a slippery baby, right?
  • Sorry, I can't think of an insult dumb enough for you to understand.
  • Whenever you open your mouth, it's like, "Whoa, somebody took too many drugs this morning."
  • I know it looks like I'm listening to you, but really I'm just visualizing duct tape over your mouth.
  • The only way you'd get hurt from doing exercise would be if you sprained your finger changing the channel.
  • You're not stupid, you just have bad luck when thinking.
  • You have your entire life to be an idiot. Why not take today off?
  • You're not the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope they don't die.
  • There's somebody out there for everybody. For you, it's a psychiatrist.
  • I'm sorry that my brutal honesty inconvenienced your ego.
  • Every time I have a stick in my hand, you start looking more and more like a piñata.
  • I consider you my sun. Now please get 93 million miles away from here.
  • You must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.
  • Why don't you go play in traffic?
  • Right now, you are as useful as a soup sandwich.
  • Mirrors can't talk. Lucky for you, they can't laugh, either.
  • I've seen salads that dress better than you.
  • Your biscuit's not quite done in the middle.
  • You changed your mind? Does this one work any better?
  • You don't need to fear success. There is really nothing for you to worry about.
  • I have 90 billion nerves, and you've gotten on every single one of them.
  • My life may be a joke, but it's not as funny as your outfit.

RELATED: 127 Funny Puns You Can't Help But Smile At .

Absolutely Brutal Roasts

  • I've been called worse things by better men.
  • I didn't mean to push your buttons, I was just looking for mute.
  • I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.
  • I'd rather treat a baby's diaper rash than have lunch with you.
  • I would smack you, but I'm against animal abuse.
  • You have such a beautiful face, but let's put a bag over that personality.
  • I gave out all my trophies a while ago, but here's a participation award.
  • It's all about balance… you start talking, I stop listening.
  • If you were any more inbred, you'd be a sandwich.
  • I would call you an idiot, but it would be an insult to stupid people.
  • Are you at a loss for words, or did you exhaust your entire vocabulary?
  • Accidents happen; the proof is sitting right there.
  • You bring everyone so much joy… when you leave the room.
  • You're not simply a drama queen. You're the whole royal family.
  • You're like a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
  • Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
  • No, that's fine. You're certainly entitled to your incorrect opinion.
  • You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
  • I can't wait to spend my whole life without you.
  • Rolling your eyes isn't going to help you find your brain.
  • Why do you look like an envelope with no address on it?
  • If I wanted to hurt myself, I would simply jump from your ego to your IQ.
  • Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. It's a bad idea in your case.
  • I don't hate you, but if you were drowning, I would give you a high five.
  • Everyone has a purpose in this life, and yours is to become an organ donor.
  • It is better to keep your mouth shut and let people think you're stupid than open it and remove all doubt.
  • Did you know your incubator had tinted windows? It was the only way to get your parents to take you home.
  • Just remember, if anyone ever tells you that you're beautiful… they're lying.
  • You can be anything you want, except good-looking.
  • You're the reason God created amnesia.
  • I'd take a photo of you, but I don't want a virus on my phone.

RELATED: 120 Best Insults (And Quotes!) for Winning Any Argument .

More Good Comebacks

  • Where is your off button?
  • I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.
  • I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun… not you.
  • I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.
  • The jerk store called, and they're running out of you.
  • Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology
  • You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.
  • Your bad personality is the reason I prefer animals to humans.
  • You hear that? It's the sound of me not caring.
  • I might be fully vaccinated, but I'm still not going to hang out with you.
  • You're so annoying, you could make a Happy Meal cry.
  • Oh, sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
  • You know, you're just not pretty enough to have such an ugly personality.
  • You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.
  • You have a face that makes onions cry.
  • Have a nice day… somewhere else.
  • You do realize we're just tolerating you, right?
  • Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?
  • It's really fun watching you try to understand everything that's being said about you.
  • You are even more useless than the 'ueue' in queue.
  • The real heroes in this world are the ones who have to live with you.
  • Somewhere out there, a tree is producing oxygen for you. What a shame.
  • Everyone is allowed to act stupid once in a while, but you're really abusing the privilege.
  • If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.
  • I was today years old when I realized I didn't like you.
  • I'm not a nerd; I'm just smarter than you.
  • If I had a dollar every time you shut up, I would give it back as a thank you.
  • I didn't mean to offend you… but I'll take it as an additional perk.
  • I don't want to rain on your parade. I want to summon a typhoon.
  • You can't imagine how much happiness you can bring… by leaving the room.

RELATED: The Best Put-Downs From History, Hollywood, and More!

Funny Roasts for Your Enemies

  • You're the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo bottles.
  • How many licks 'till I get to the interesting part of this conversation?
  • Are you doing OK today? You look like the guy in the zombie movie who's been bitten but is trying to keep it quiet.
  • When I look at you, I wish I could meet you again for the first time… and walk past.
  • I'm listening. I just need a minute to process so much stupid information at once.
  • You're like a software update. Every time I see you, I immediately think 'not now.'"
  • Don't worry… the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest.
  • It's impossible to underestimate you.
  • I like the way you comb your hair. It's impressive how you're able to hide the horns.
  • If I throw a stick, will you chase it? I really want out of this conversation.
  • You're the reason gene pools need lifeguards.
  • I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it's really doing the job.
  • The truth will set you free. You're the worst. OK, you're free to go.
  • Do you think your parents realize that they're living proof that two wrongs don't make a right?
  • Give me a minute; I'm trying to think of an insult simple enough for you to understand!
  • Congratulations on being the top of the bell curve.
  • I've heard a smarter statement come out in a fart.
  • I look at you and think… two billion years of evolution for this?
  • I told my therapist about you. She didn't believe me.
  • Don't be ashamed of who you are. That's a job for your parents.
  • When I listen to you, I think you really are going to go far. I hope you stay there.
  • When I see you coming, I get pre-annoyed. I figure it's smart to give myself a head start.
  • Whoever told you to be yourself gave you bad advice.
  • I think you just need a high five… in the face… with a chair.
  • When I look at you, I think to myself where have you been my whole life? And can you go back there?
  • Light travels faster than sound. It explains why you seemed smart… until I finally heard you speak.
  • Your secrets are always safe with me. I don't even listen when you share them.
  • When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his "to-do" list.
  • Everyone brings happiness to a room. I bring happiness when I walk in, and you bring happiness when you leave.
  • Sweetheart, the only thing bothering me is that thing between your ears.
  • We were happily married for one month. Unfortunately, we've been married for 10 years.

RELATED:  89 Funny Names That Are Oh-So Terrible . 

More Savage Roasts

  • A glow stick has a brighter future than you. Lasts longer, too.
  • If you ever need to find higher ground, you can always try climbing up your own ego.
  • You are the human version of cramps.
  • Have you ever tried not being an idiot?
  • You're like a cloud. When you disappear, it suddenly becomes a beautiful day.
  • Maybe you should try eating make-up to improve that ugly personality.
  • You’re about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
  • If laughter really is the best medicine, your face might just cure the world's deadliest diseases.
  • You look like something that came out of a slow cooker.
  • I was thinking about you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
  • You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail.
  • I was going to make a joke about your life, but I see life beat me to the punch.
  • Oops, my bad. I could've sworn I was dealing with an adult.
  • It would be a great day if you accidentally used a glue stick instead of a Chapstick.
  • It's the parent's job to raise their children right. So looking at you, it's obvious that they quit after just one day.
  • I believe you can achieve anything. Look around; there are plenty of dumb people out there who you could aspire to be.
  • If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet.
  • I bet I could remove 90 percent of your good looks with a moist towelette.
  • You're like the human version of athlete's foot—annoying and hard to get rid of.
  • It must be fun to wake up each morning knowing that you are that much closer to achieving your dreams of complete and utter mediocrity.
  • You're so fake, Barbie might actually be jealous.
  • You were so happy about testing negative for COVID… we didn't have the heart to tell you it was actually an IQ test.
  • Tell me something… if I didn't answer you the first time, what makes you think the next 25 attempts will work?
  • I am jealous of people who have never met you.
  • Oh, you're talking to me? I thought you only did that behind my back.
  • Most mistakes can be corrected. You are the exception to the rule.
  • It is hilarious how you are trying to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.
  • I suggest you do a little soul-searching. You might actually find one.
  • I know I make a lot of stupid choices, but hanging out with you was the worst one of all.
  • We were going to roast you, but apparently, burning trash is an environmental hazard.
  • Hurting you is the last thing I want to do… but it's still on the list.

RELATED: 152 Funny Short Jokes That Guarantee a Laugh .

Good Roasts That Rhyme

  • Everybody knows that you're stupid… thought you could fall in love because you saw a fake Cupid.
  • I'm not trying to make fun of you, but you can't even count higher than number two.
  • Roses are red, violets are blue, so many people are pretty, but what happened to you?
  • It's not my fault, it's everyone's opinion, I'm pretty cool, and you're just a minion.
  • Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I don't want to be mean, but you need Listerine.
  • Don't feel bad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too.
  • If I were a dog and you were a flower, I'd lift my leg up and give you a shower.
  • Roses are red, monsters are green, look in the mirror, you'll see what I mean.
  • I'm the type of person to laugh at mistakes, so sorry if I laugh at your face.

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How to Write a Roast Speech

writing a speach

Roasting a person, whether it's a celebratory dinner, a best-man's speech at a wedding or a loving comedy routine meant to poke fun at the guest of honor, is a delicate balance between funny and insulting. Originally created over 100 years ago at the famed Friars Club in New York City, the members delighted in shooting zingers at the roastee, often reducing the guests in the audience to tears of laughter.

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The roast speech is comprised of funny memories, strange occurrences, embarrassing moments and raucous adventures that the guest of honor has experienced, but it is all done with love. As the Friars Club motto goes: "We only roast the ones we love."

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Understand the Roastee’s Personality

You don't want to singe-roast someone who can't take a joke, who is sensitive, who has had a hardscrabble life and doesn't want to revisit it or whose parents are in the audience and are unaware of the honoree's "other side" or arrest record. You want to leave the roastee and everyone else in tears of laughter, not tears of embarrassment.

Don't use vulgarity if the roastee doesn't use vulgar language. Don't be brutal. A roast speech should make everyone laugh with love.

Researching the Roast Speech

Before putting pen to paper or fingers to keyboard, talk to the honoree's friends and family. Get material that indicates the personality and oddities of the person being roasted.

Go back in your memory to experiences you've shared, both funny and touching. Remember that you're writing with love, with a little embarrassment thrown in. The guests may include family members, so you don't want to be mean or shocking.

Writing the Speech

A roast speech must be organized so that the audience grasps the content. Being vague leaves them questioning what you mean. You're going for humor, laughter and sentiment, all mixed with tasteful vulgarity.

The punch line, which is your "gotcha" moment, is the heart of the joke and should be either at the beginning or end of the sentence. Hugh Grant's best-man speech in "Four Weddings and a Funeral" is a prime example of mixing all the elements into a successful speech.

Delivering the Speech

Make notes, whether bullet points or written in sentences, but rehearse and rehearse until you are no longer dependent on those notes. Be sure to leave a pause for the laughter if the punch line is at the end of the sentence. You don't want to waste the next joke if it's buried in the laughter of the previous joke. Pace yourself and your audience.

Always Be Gracious

Judge your honoree's demeanor as you give your speech. Also note the audience's response to your jokes. Recognize if either look uncomfortable and realize if you've gone too far. Cut back if that's the case. A nice touch would be to have the speech printed and bound in a folder and present it to the roastee at the end of the roast speech.

  • Friars Club: Roasts
  • Joe Toplyn: How to Write a Roast

How to Write a Roast

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A roast is a series of insulting jokes about a particular person, the roastee. You write each roast joke using the same techniques that you’d use to write a joke about a topic in the news.

Roast of Rob Lowe

So here’s how to roast someone. Start by brainstorming as many associations of the roastee as you can. An association is something that most people in your audience would know about the roastee or would accept as true about the roastee.

Rob Lowe Roast

An association could be anything: something the roastee did or said, a physical characteristic, a family member. Research the roastee if you have to. Associations are the main building blocks of jokes, so the more associations a roastee has, the easier it will be to generate multiple jokes about him or her.

Of course, because you’re writing roast jokes, be sure to come up with plenty of associations that are unflattering, embarrassing, or negative in some way.

Then draw on your list of associations to create roast jokes using the joke-writing techniques that I call Punch Line Makers. I describe those techniques, and many others, in my book Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV .  Write your punch lines so that the laugh triggers are negative associations of the roastee.

I’ll show you how the process works by analyzing some jokes from the Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe .  Here’s a joke about actor Rob Lowe himself:

Rob Lowe as Soda Pop

“Rob was in a movie called  The Outsiders,  playing a character called Soda Pop…which made sense since he was about 98-percent coke.” — David Spade

That joke was written using Punch Line Maker #1: Link two associations of the topic. One handle of the topic, Rob Lowe, has the association “Soda Pop,” which has the sub-association “Coca-Cola.”

Another, negative, association of Rob Lowe is “did a lot of cocaine,” which has the sub-association “coke.” The punch line, “98-percent coke,” links those two sub-associations in a surprising way.

When assembling your jokes into a roast of somebody, make sure your jokes don’t become repetitive and therefore less surprising and less funny. That means including jokes that rely on as many different associations as possible and eliminating some jokes that rely on the same association.

An eighty-minute show like the Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe minimizes joke repetition by also roasting the other celebrity guests on the dais.

Ann Coulter at mike

For example, here’s a joke about conservative writer and commentator Ann Coulter:

“Ann Coulter has written eleven books…twelve if you count  Mein Kampf .” — Nikki Glaser

That joke is a product of Punch Line Maker #3: Ask a question about the topic. The topic “Ann Coulter has written eleven books” invites the question “What are their titles?”

The writer answered that question by using an association of Ann Coulter that the writer believed most audience members would accept as true: “Hitler,” who has the sub-association “ Mein Kampf .” That answer to the question became the punch line.

When you’re writing a roast joke, you can also start with a punch line and work backward to create a topic that sets up that punch line. For example, take this joke about Rob Lowe:

Rob Lowe in a Lifetime movie

The writer started by associating Rob Lowe with all the movies he’s made for the lesser-prestige Lifetime network. Then the writer decided to create a punch line around “Lifetime” by using Punch Line Maker #4: Find a play on words in the topic.

A second meaning of “lifetime” is the duration of one’s life. The writer relied on that second meaning to create a topic sentence that sounds like something you’d say when paying tribute to somebody. With the addition of that topic, the joke was complete.

After you’ve written the rough draft of a joke, edit it using what I call the Joke Maximizers. This next joke, about distinctive-looking Ann Coulter, demonstrates the use of Joke Maximizer #11: Don’t be too on-the-nose.

Ann Coulter at the roast

The rough draft of that joke must have referred to Ann Coulter as a scarecrow. But just calling her a scarecrow would be too on-the-nose. The edited punch line says the same thing but in a less direct, and therefore more surprising and funnier, way.

Because roast jokes are, by definition, insulting, think hard about whether they’ll be acceptable to your anticipated audience.

If you’re roasting a non-celebrity , keep your roast jokes fairly gentle. Joke about associations of the roastee that neither the roastee nor your audience is likely to be sensitive about. And make sure the roastee has agreed to be roasted and will probably have a good sense of humor about it. That way the audience won’t feel too guilty to laugh.

Rob Lowe laughing at a roast joke

Want help writing roast jokes? Make AI write jokes for you with my AI-powered joke writer app, Witscript. Explore Witscript here.

6 thoughts on “ how to write a roast ”.

[email protected] men I love ur work

Thanks. I have to roast a fellow YouTube creator in a sort of Battle Roast so, I needed some tips. This helped a lot.

Thanks for saying so. I’m glad I could help. Have fun with your roast!

This has been helpful! Thank you … I now look forward to roasting my son even more 😉

You’re welcome! We roast because we love.

Nice …l learn something really …thank you so much

Comments are closed.

Pro Humorist

Secret Comedy Writing Technique – Callbacks

Public Speaking in Context

Hungry for Humorous Speeches? Try a Roast

  • By Jason Peck in Comedy , Toastmasters

I was idly playing videos on You Tube recently and I came across Dean Martin’s Roasts from the 1970s. I had a jolly old time watching some comedians from yesteryear engaging in humorous roasts. So I figured I should write a post about roasts and provide some roast speech examples. Although I talk about them in the Toastmasters context, the advice is absolutely applicable whether you’re giving a Toastmasters roast or not.

You can sometimes forget the skill of some of the old school comedians when they’re either a) not on TV so much anymore, b) Recognisable through films that aren’t really shown that much like The Cannonball Run or the original Ocean’s Eleven, c) they’re dead d) all of the above.

You can also see this basic concept at work at the White House Correspondence Dinner.

I realised that one of the Advanced Toastmasters Manuals includes a Roast. Interestingly, it’s not part of the Humorously Speaking manual . I find this quite an interesting module to include because in the U.K. we don’t really have roasts. In the U.S. they were originally done by the Friar’s Club then on Dean Martin’s show and are currently on Comedy Central. There are plenty of examples of roast speeches to be found on the internet.

Take a look at Don Rickles roasting… pretty much everyone. It’s a great example of a good roast speech:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-KeTNU-ods

A Brief History of Roasts Here’s a quick lowdown on this curious American past time…

In North American English, a Roast, or roast speech, is an event in which an individual is subjected to comedic insults, praise, outrageous stories (both true and untrue), racial stereotypes and heartwarming tributes. All for public consumption.

Generally speaking, the roastee takes the insults in good faith and as a result, show off their good nature. From what I can work out, it is seen as a great honor to be roasted, because the individual is often surrounded by friends, fans, and well-wishers, who sometimes receive the same treatment during the course of the evening.

In the U.K. part of our sense of humour is like this. We are generally insulting and frequently rude to our closest friends. Why this happens I’m not entirely sure. I guess, like the Roast, it is meant as a sign of affection and meant in good faith. But we tend not to give roast speeches.

The thing is, with the roast speech, I think it’s easy to do badly. I know, I’ve seen one… or four.

Roast Speeches or a Series of Humourless Insults?

What I think is difficult at a Toastmasters club is the fact that, often, we don’t have people to roast who are well known to the audience. Toastmasters roast speeches can be a little flat and insipid. Not only that, but the nature of a Toastmasters club is that you don’t use explicit language or content, but that’s what a speech of, say, a Club President needs.

On Dean Martin’s show that I saw, and the subsequent ones on Comedy Central where they roast today’s celebrities and comedians, everybody in the audience and watching at home on TV knows the victim. They know their background, they know they successes and failures.

Take, for example, the moment where Don Rickles insulted Dean Martin by referring to him as Jerry at the 2min 19 mark. The audience of the day would’ve known that he was originally part of the double act Martin and Lewis with Jerry Lewis. They also would’ve known that the pair split on bad terms, and so Rickles’ deliberate confusion would’ve been a perfect insult.

Whereas, roasting the president of your Toastmasters club, might not necessarily be the same. Unless they are particularly well known for certain successes and failures that everyone in the audience is aware of. Otherwise, it can come across as actual insults and result in tension in the audience as they don’t know how to react to the content.

How to Give a Roast Speech

Here is a brief outline of How to Give a Roast Speech. The following tips on roast speeches is based upon the legendary Milton Berle’s own advice which I’ve cribbed from one of his joke books . 1. Choose someone worthy – Berle advises that “the bigger the face you can make blush, the higher the gate receipts” . As I said earlier, it’s got to be someone known to the majority of your audience.

2. Marry the roastee to an event if possible – if your target is connected to an event somehow then the roast works even better as it can help give your insults in your roast speeches structure. Berle says: “Occasion give momentum, and an occasion can always be found: a birthday, an anniversary, a retirement…”

3. Make certain the roastee has some characteristics at which fun can be poked – Your target should have character idiosyncrasies or physical traits that are easy to ridicule. “The difference between average and dull, for roast purposes, is that put-down comedy is a matter of extremes. Cheap is not funny. The cheapest person is” , advises Berle.

4. A roast should last between four and six minutes – Berle talks about how professionals can conduct roast speeches that lasts between forty minutes to an hour and a half. However, “for non-professionals, the shorter the better. Each turn… should run between four and six minutes. Again, the shorter the better” advises Berle. I think that by keeping it short you keep the evening moving at a good pace at stop everyone from getting bored.

5. The designer of the affair should try to ensure that each speaker cover only a specific topic or topics – each speaker should focus on only one aspect of the roastee to ridicule. Berle advises against being too harsh with insults; “a word of caution in assembling spots. Consider the thickness of the roastees skin. The purpose of the roast is to “honor”, not make a roastee bleed red. The roast tell the guest of honor he or she is loved”.

6. The M.C. need not be a born clown – The M.C. should at least be witty, but doesn’t necessarily need to bust out punchlines on a regular basis. Berle adds that “not every guest on the dais will speak. There are almost always a half-dozen VIPs who will stand up and take a bow”. So remember not to introduce these VIPs as if they are going to speak. You may just want to acknowledge that they are there.

7. Speeches need not be memorised – while it’s not a prerequisite for your to memorise your roast speech, you still need to get very familiar with it if you are reading off index cards. As Berle says “the purpose of the card is a reminder only. Don’t recite the words”. They are there merely as your safety net.

8. Don’t rely on jokes, use your own sense of humour – this is one of my own additions here. I would outline your speech with your opening, body where you include any points that you want to make, and also your conclusion. Then work to uncover the humour and capture your own wit. One of the best methods of doing this that I’ve found is the Fast Start Guide to Stand-up Comedy. Don’t let the title put you off. As I’ve said before, the mechanisms for developing funny roast speeches are the same as stand-up, which are the same as humorous speeches.

Update: 30/07/2008

I found a link which supplies a bit of additional “how to” knowledge for penning funny roast speeches. You can check out that info right here: Comedy Roast .

Humorous Speech Roast – Outside the U.S.

As a Toastmasters speech module for speakers outside the U.S. I’m not completely convinced that it’s a good idea. From a speaking perspective away from Toastmasters a little gentle ribbing of a person who is being honoured might be a good avenue.

The main content of this type of humorous speech are the roast insults, you still have to be careful with what you say in the Toastmasters environment. Obviously, there are certain subjects that shouldn’t be mocked; politics, religion, sex and disabilities.

Even though the roastee may be fine for you to deal with these subjects when it comes to them, you run the risk of offending someone in your audience. And in a corporate or business environment that’s not something that you really want to do.

If you’re more interested in day to day business presenting this article might interest you might like to know how to create a funny presentation.

Addendum April 7th 2010 : It seems that the Brits are attempting to tackle their own version of this American institution. The first being a roast of entertainment legend Bruce Forsyth. Check out the review of Bruce Forsyth: a Comedy Roast . Some newspapers didn’t quite get that it was supposed to be an evening of insults.

Note: There are affiliate links on this page. That means if you make a purchase of a product I will get a commission. This is one of the ways that helps me pay the bills.

  • Comedians , Comedy , humor , Humorous Speeches , humour , Roasts , Sense Of Humour , Speeches , Stand-up Comedy , Toastmasters

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Jason Peck, is an award-winning English humorist, actor and comedian based in Chicago, IL. As a comedian, he performed stand-up on the London comedy circuit, worked as an improviser, wrote and performed material for Newsrevue and contributed material to The Treason Show.

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  • Fred L Curry on November 3, 2014 at 10:58 pm

I haven’t seen it for a while, but the roasts in Four Weddings and a Funeral impressed me. Maybe, if they are a valid British custom, you could add some comment about that.

Thanks for your website. I am still learning, and you show solid acumen.

Comments have been disabled.

how to make a good roast speech

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How to Give a Roast

how to make a good roast speech

Are you tasked with the honor of roasting a friend or colleague and unsure where to start? The art of roasting someone, while maintaining respect, is a skill that many desire but few master.

This guide unpacks the secrets to crafting an unforgettable roast, from understanding your audience and creating humor without crossing boundaries to dealing with potential hiccups along the way.

Dive in and discover how to command laughter, entertain your crowd, and leave them wanting more!

Key Takeaways

  • Understand the art of roasting: A roast is a speech that humorously honors someone while playfully teasing their quirks and accomplishments. It is important to maintain a respectful tone and strike a balance between humor and genuine admiration.
  • Gather material that is both humorous and respectful: When crafting a roast speech, gather funny stories, embarrassing moments, or endearing quirks about the person being roasted. Avoid derogatory comments or insults, and focus on light-hearted teasing and playful jabs.
  • Deliver with humor and respect: Set the right tone and delivery style by adopting an informal approach, incorporating witty anecdotes, jokes, and punchlines. Remember to avoid crossing sensitive boundaries or offending anyone present.
  • End on a positive note: To leave a lasting impression, end your roast speech with a positive remark that shows appreciation for the individual being honored.

Understanding the Art of Roasting

A roast is a speech that humorously honors someone, highlighting their quirks and accomplishments while poking fun at them in a lighthearted manner.

What is a roast?

A roast, in essence, is a unique form of public address that straddles the line between tribute and teasing. It’s an opportunity to honor someone – perhaps a close friend or colleague – with humor and good-natured ribbing making it different from conventional speeches.

The art of roasting lies not just in delivering clever jibes but also in celebrating the individual’s quirks and achievements. This playful blend of jesting alongside genuine admiration guides the composition of your speech into something memorable and entertaining for all present at the occasion.

In this context, your role as a speaker is akin to a coffee roaster; like how mastering coffee roasting involves understanding bean characteristics and roasting process effects on flavor profiles, giving a successful roast speech requires knowing your subject well enough to strike that balance between humorous anecdotes and respectful tributes.

The purpose and tone of a roast

The art of roasting is an entertaining display that serves a dual purpose of humor and tribute. This form of comedy offers light-hearted jabs at a close friend or colleague to commend their qualities through laughter.

In essence, it makes fun out of admiration while maintaining respect for the individual being roasted.

The tone sets the atmosphere for a roast, usually adorned with wit and playfulness. It’s essential to remember that while roasts might be rib-tickling funny, they are not designed to offend or ridicule unfairly.

Therefore, balance is key – combining humor with genuine affection creates an engaging ambiance where everyone enjoys the event without crossing any sensitive boundaries. Roasts should always drive towards an aroma of fun and amusement rather than discomfort or harm.

Different types of roast

Roasting is a versatile comedic art with various styles to suit every occasion and personality. A light roast, much like its coffee counterpart, tends to be lighter in content, teasing surface traits without delving too deep into personal matters.

This roast type suits public speakers looking for humor with minimal embarrassment – imagine a gentle ribbing among friends rather than an all-out comedy assault! On the other hand, medium roasts balance between humorous jabs and genuine compliments – they are the equivalent of our ‘medium-dark’ coffee where acidity gets lower but more body develops in flavor profiles.

Shifting towards darker territory, we find savage roasts that leave no stone unturned. Sharp-tongued comedians often execute these with masterful precision and quick comebacks for anyone brave enough to interject during their set.

Despite this fiery execution though, even the most powerful shots fired should be underpinned by respect for the person being roasted.

When delivering smart roast speeches or tributes filled with roast jokes at non-celebrity events especially, it’s crucial not just knowing how to give a humorous tribute but also understanding these  different types of roast s and identifying which style best fits your target audience.

The perfect blend of humor and respect can help create an unforgettable roast; let’s call it brewing the perfect cup from perfectly roasted beans!

Crafting a Memorable Roast Speech

Craft a roast speech that is both humorous and respectful by gathering material and anecdotes about the individual being roasted.

Know your audience and the individual being roasted

Crafting a memorable roast speech starts with understanding your audience and the individual being roasted. This is crucial because knowing who you are speaking to allows you to tailor your jokes and anecdotes to their tastes and preferences.

It’s important to gauge their sense of humor, whether they appreciate lighthearted banter or more playful teasing. Equally significant is recognizing the unique qualities and quirks of the person being honored.

By incorporating inside jokes or stories that resonate with them, it ensures a heartfelt connection with both the roastee and the audience. Ultimately, a well-crafted roast speech requires careful consideration of your audience’s sensibilities and an appreciation for what makes the honoree so special.

Gather material and anecdotes that are both humorous and respectful

Crafting a memorable roast speech starts with gathering material and anecdotes that strike the perfect balance between humor and respect. Start by brainstorming funny stories, embarrassing moments, or endearing quirks about the individual being roasted.

Look for humorous moments that are relatable to the audience but won’t cross any sensitive boundaries. Additionally, take into consideration their personality and preferences to ensure your jokes land well.

While it’s important to inject humor into your speech, always remember to maintain a respectful tone. Avoid derogatory comments or insults that may offend anyone present. Instead, focus on light-hearted teasing and playful jabs that will be appreciated by all.

Create a cohesive outline that flows well

Crafting a memorable roast speech starts with creating a cohesive outline that flows seamlessly from one joke to the next. Think of it as building a roadmap for your comedic journey. Begin by organizing your material in a logical order , ensuring that each anecdote or punchline smoothly transitions into the next.

This will help maintain the audience’s attention and keep them engaged throughout your speech. Incorporate sentence structure variety and use humorously unexpected segues to add an element of surprise to your delivery.

Remember, a well-structured outline sets the stage for an unforgettable roast performance, leaving everyone laughing and applauding for more.

Set the right tone and delivery style

Crafting a memorable roast speech requires setting the right tone and delivery style. To engage your audience, it’s essential to adopt a conversational and informal approach. Avoid sounding rehearsed or stiff by using impromptu speaking skills that make your speech feel natural and spontaneous.

Incorporate humor with witty anecdotes, jokes, and punch lines that create laughter without crossing sensitive boundaries or offending anyone. Strike a balance between good-natured teasing and genuine compliments to keep the atmosphere light-hearted yet respectful.

By adopting an engaging delivery style, you can ensure your roast speech is entertaining and memorable for both the individual being roasted and the audience.

Delivering a Successful Roast

Start your roast with a captivating opening that grabs the attention of your audience and sets the tone for an entertaining speech .

Start with a captivating opening that grabs attention

One of the key elements to delivering a successful roast speech is starting with a captivating opening that grabs attention. As a public speaker, you understand the importance of capturing your audience’s interest from the very beginning.

The same principle applies when giving a roast. To do this, consider using a witty one-liner or an amusing anecdote related to the person being roasted. By starting off on a humorous note, you immediately engage your listeners and set the tone for what is to come.

For example, imagine opening your roast speech with something like this: “Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we gather here to celebrate John’s birthday. Now, I’ve known John for many years..and after all those years, he still hasn’t realized his true calling as a clown! But hey, at least he makes us laugh unintentionally.” This playful jab not only grabs attention but also introduces the humor that will be infused throughout your speech.

Remember that while it’s important to grab attention with your opening line, make sure it stays within respectful boundaries and doesn’t offend anyone in attendance. Keep in mind that roasts are meant to honor and playfully tease someone rather than humiliate them.

Incorporate humor and wit throughout the speech

Crafting a successful roast speech requires the ability to incorporate humor and wit throughout your delivery. A well-executed roast combines comedic banter, witty remarks, and humorous anecdotes to keep the audience entertained and engaged.

The key is to strike a balance between playful teasing and genuine praise, ensuring that your jokes are lighthearted and fun rather than mean-spirited. By infusing your speech with raw humor and emotion, you can create a memorable experience for both the honoree and the audience.

Remember, delivering a successful roast is all about finding that perfect blend of laughter and respect that will make your speech truly unforgettable.

Avoid crossing sensitive boundaries or offending anyone

When delivering a successful roast, it is crucial to avoid crossing sensitive boundaries or offending anyone. Roasting should be done in good fun and not at the expense of someone’s feelings or reputation.

Stick to general subjects that will not offend or hurt anyone, and steer clear of personal, sensitive, or controversial topics. It is important to remember that roasts are meant to entertain and honor someone, so keep the jokes lighthearted and playful rather than mean-spirited.

By being mindful of your audience’s sensibilities and respecting their boundaries, you can ensure that your roast speech is enjoyed by all without causing any discomfort.

Give genuine compliments along with playful jabs

When giving a roast speech, it’s important to strike the right balance between humor and admiration. One effective way to do this is by giving genuine compliments along with playful jabs. By acknowledging the positive qualities of the person being roasted, you show that your intention is not to hurt or offend, but rather to celebrate their unique quirks.

This approach helps create an atmosphere of lightheartedness and ensures that your roasting comes across as friendly banter rather than mean-spirited mockery. Remember, the goal is to entertain and make people laugh while still showing appreciation for the individual being honored.

End on a positive note to leave a lasting impression

To give a truly memorable roast, it is crucial to end on a positive note that leaves a lasting impression. Your closing remarks should not only tie the speech together but also leave your audience feeling uplifted and appreciative.

After all, the goal of a successful roast is not to offend or belittle but to entertain and honor the individual being roasted.

One effective way to achieve this is by emphasizing the qualities or achievements of the person you’re roasting. Highlight their accomplishments, strengths, and contributions in a genuine and heartfelt manner.

By doing so, you demonstrate that despite the playful jabs throughout your speech, there is true admiration and respect for them.

Another approach is to express gratitude directly towards the person being roasted. Thank them for their friendship, support, or impact they have had on your life. This shows appreciation while also maintaining a positive tone.

Lastly, consider ending with an uplifting quote or anecdote that encapsulates both humor and affection towards the honoree. This can leave a lasting impression as it reinforces fond memories or shared experiences within your collective group.

Handling Challenges and Tips for Success

Handle hecklers calmly and confidently, approach sensitive topics with caution and respect, practice and rehearse your speech multiple times, enjoy the moment and embrace the energy of the event, show appreciation to the individual being roasted, follow up afterwards.

Deal with any hecklers calmly and confidently

Handling hecklers during a public speaking engagement can be a challenging situation, but with the right approach, you can navigate it calmly and confidently. Preparation is key when dealing with potential interruptions or disruptive behavior.

By anticipating such challenges, you can develop effective strategies for maintaining composure in the face of interruptions. Additionally, having techniques for responding to disruptive attendees and managing unruly participants will help you stay focused on delivering your message.

Remember that handling difficult training situations requires expert advice, which you can find in comprehensive resources or seek from experienced professionals like stand-up comedians who have dealt with hecklers before.

Approach sensitive topics with caution and respect

When addressing sensitive topics, it is crucial to approach them with caution and respect. Effective communication requires a tactful and careful handling of delicate subjects, especially in public speaking engagements like giving a roast.

By being mindful of cultural diversity, avoiding offensive language or stereotypes, and using both verbal and nonverbal cues to promote respectful conversations, you can ensure that your speech remains appropriate and inclusive.

Remember to listen actively when discussing sensitive issues with employees or individuals from different backgrounds. By doing so, you create an environment where everyone feels valued and respected.

Practice and rehearse your speech multiple times

Practice and rehearsal are key elements in giving a successful roast speech. It is crucial to prepare by practicing your speech multiple times before the event. Rehearsing allows you to become familiar with the flow of your speech, fine-tune your delivery, and build confidence in what you’re saying.

By practicing under different scenarios, such as in front of a mirror or recording yourself, you can analyze your body language, facial expressions, and overall stage presence. You can also seek feedback from trusted individuals or ask one person to be your audience for a realistic simulation of speaking in front of a crowd.

Remember that the goal is not to memorize your speech word-for-word but rather to understand and convey the key concepts effectively. Visual cueing can be helpful in ensuring smooth transitions between points during delivery.

Enjoy the moment and embrace the energy of the event

Embracing the moment and soaking in the infectious energy of a roast event is key to delivering a memorable speech. As public speakers, it’s important to fully immerse ourselves in the atmosphere and embrace the excitement surrounding us.

By doing so, we not only connect with our audience on a deeper level but also tap into our own natural charisma and confidence. Just as Starbucks innovates the coffee experience at its Reserve Roasteries, we too can elevate our performance by embracing this unique opportunity to make people laugh and create lasting memories.

So let go of any nerves or inhibitions, enjoy every second of the event, and let that vibrant energy fuel your captivating delivery. Remember, you have all the tools within you to conquer this stage with flair!

Show appreciation to the individual being roasted and follow up afterwards

After delivering a memorable roast speech, it’s crucial to show appreciation to the individual being roasted and follow up afterwards. This simple act goes a long way in strengthening relationships and ensuring that the humor of the roast is taken in good spirits.

A heartfelt thank you or a genuine compliment can make the person feel valued and respected despite the playful jabs they received during the roast. Following up with them after the event also allows for further connection and shows your sincerity in appreciating their presence.

Remember, roasting is all about celebrating someone while having fun, so don’t forget to express your gratitude and keep the positive energy flowing even after the event concludes.

In conclusion, giving a roast can be a fun and memorable experience when done right. By understanding the art of roasting, crafting a well-thought-out speech, and delivering it with humor and respect, you can create an unforgettable moment for both the roasted individual and the audience.

Remember to handle challenges gracefully, practice your speech beforehand, and most importantly, enjoy the process. With these tips in mind, you’ll be ready to give a hilarious and heartfelt roast that will be talked about for years to come.

Let the roasting begin!

1. What is a roast and how does it work?

A roast is a humorous speech or event where someone is subjected to good-natured ridicule in front of an audience. It typically involves jokes, teasing, and playful insults about the person being roasted.

2. How do I prepare for giving a roast?

To prepare for giving a roast, you should gather information about the person being roasted and their accomplishments, quirks, and personality traits. This will help you craft funny and personalized jokes that will resonate with both the honoree and the audience.

3. Are there any guidelines or boundaries when giving a roast?

When giving a roast, it’s important to keep the humor light-hearted and avoid crossing any sensitive or offensive topics that could be hurtful to the person being honored or anyone in attendance. Respect boundaries by ensuring your jokes are well-intentioned and maintain respect for the individual.

4. How can I deliver a successful roast speech?

To deliver a successful roast speech, practice your material beforehand to ensure good timing and delivery. Use body language and tone of voice to enhance your comedic effect while maintaining confidence on stage. Be sure to gauge audience reactions during your performance so you can adjust if necessary for maximum laughter.

how to make a good roast speech

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Types of Speeches: The Roast

What is a roast.

A roast is a lot like a toast , except it pokes fun at the honoree. Roasts are often performed at birthday parties, retirement parties and other occasions where someone with a sense of humor is being honored.

Although the roast got its name from the verbal skewering the honoree gets, not all jokes need to be negative. Yes, insults are common … but they shouldn’t be hurtful. They should be said in loving good fun.

Basically, a roast teases the honoree while still showing respect.

Types of Speeches: The Roast

If you decide to become a professional speaker or use speaking as an integral part of your marketing strategy, it’s a good idea to familiarize yourself with the various types of speeches you might be asked to give. In this series of posts, I’ll give you the basics of a variety of types of presentations you can prepare. At the end of this post, I’ve listed previous articles in this series.

Tips for effective roasting

  • Be respectful – avoid jokes that bring up painful memories or mention past loves if the honoree is there with someone new. This is supposed to be fun … if your roast causes people to run out crying, you’ve failed.  
  • Avoid inside jokes – if you and the honoree are the only people who will get it, don’t use it. You are still giving this presentation to an audience … you don’t want to leave them out.  
  • Be organized – make sure your presentation has beginning, middle and an end. In fact, if your final joke hearkens back to your first, you might get an even bigger laugh!  
  • Clear your comments in advance – if you are roasting someone for an organization, be sure to clear comments in advance so you don’t inadvertently step into political muck.  
  • Learn from the pros – Dean Martin and Don Rickles are pros at roasting folks. Go on YouTube and watch some of their roasts from the 1970s to get ideas and inspiration.

Resources for creating roasts

  • How to Write a Roast Speech
  • Video: How to Give a Birthday Speech : Giving a Birthday Roast
  • Video: How to Write a Roast Speech
  • Writing a Retirement Roast Speech

Did you miss these?

Here are the previous posts in this “Type of Speeches” series:

  • The Keynote Address
  • The Training Session
  • The Motivational Speech
  • The Entertaining Speech
  • The Demonstration
  • The Information Dump
  • The Inspirational Speech
  • The Q & A
  • The Persuasive Speech
  • The Impromptu Speech
  • The Acceptance Speech
  • The Commencement Speech

The next post in this series is The Interpretive Reading

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About the author

Carma Spence, is author of Public Speaking Super Powers. She is fiercely committed to guiding women to Owning their Superpowers and turning their knowledge and interests into a profitable business. She is masterful at helping her clients see what is possible for them and supporting them on the journey from where they are to where they want to be, releasing the Mind Goblins of self-doubt, self-sabotage and second-guessing that keep them stuck.

With 20+ years experience in marketing communications and public relations, natural intuitive skills and certification in using some of the most effective transformational coaching tools available, Carma’s mission and commitment is to unleash the inner power every woman entrepreneur possesses so they can boldly go out into the world, transforming the fabric of people’s lives in meaningful and positive ways.

You can find her on Facebook , Twitter , Google+ and LinkedIn . Her website is CarmaSpence.com .

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How To Write And Perform A Comedy Roast

how to make a good roast speech

A comedy roast is an event where a group of people gather to make embarrassing and unflattering jokes about a specific guest of honor in front of an audience. The assumption is that the person being roasted will be able to laugh at themselves and take all the jokes in good humor.  Poking fun at friends or co-workers or even your boss (if you dare) is always a good laugh but you do need to know where to draw the line. You don’t want to go overboard and end up with someone running to the nearest bathroom stall to cry hysterically at your savagery. 

So before you start constructing your roast, you need to remember a few things first.

Getting Ideas For The Roast

When thinking about who you will roast, know whether or not if you will need to tone it down. You can’t roast your boss about their recent divorce but you could roast a friend about how they can’t find a date. 

Think about all the strange habits or quirks of the person you intend to roast. Do they snore really loudly? Do they take freebies from hotels? Do they always leave the toilet seat up?  These little things can offer a unique insight into the person being roasted.

If you are looking for more ideas, recall notable memories, which are usually a fantastic source for a good roast. Was there ever a time where the person did something really stupid, like drop their phone down a  portable toilet at a festival or get lost in Ikea? These fond memories are perfect for teasing someone.

Writing The Roast

A strong introduction is always important; talk about how you know the person, list three things about them with the third thing being a total misdirection. 

Once you have your material ready, it’s a good idea to get a second opinion. You don’t want to find out that your material is too sensitive when you are performing. Not only is it awkward but you come across as mean instead of funny. You could ask a family member or co-worker or someone who will know if the joke is going too far. You also want to pick someone who is going to be discreet about your material, you don’t want it going back to the person or all your jokes getting around before you get the chance to perform them. 

Once you have everything ready, rehearse, rehearse, rehearse! A roast is a performance and you need to be stage ready.  The whole point of the roast is to make people laugh, and in order to do so you need to feel comfortable and confident performing your material. You may want to practice performing in front of a mirror a few times before you do it for real so you can spot what you might be doing wrong. Alternatively, film yourself performing and watch the replay for places to improve.

Performing The Roast

Another important element while performing is watching the person’s body language. If they are laughing with everyone, you haven’t been deleted off FaceBook yet. If the person looks uneasy or uncomfortable, skip to another topic as quickly as possible. Sometimes a person will do a fake smile but have their arms or legs crossed which indicates they are unhappy.

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How to Roast Your Friend Just Enough That They’ll Want to Remain Your Friend

By chandler dean.

In this column , professional speechwriter Chandler Dean provides partly satirical, partly genuine “How To” advice focused on a hyper-specific subcategory of speeches—from graduation speeches to wedding toasts to eulogies, and all the rhetorical occasions in between.

Tick-tock: the bachelor or bachelorette or bachelorx party is approaching, and your buddy has insisted that they want you to “totally roast them.” Unfortunately, there is no time to question what ignominious circumstances led them to this masochistic desire. There is only time to write jokes.

I’ve written roasts for celebrities and politicians at fundraisers and closed-door events; I’ve roasted coworkers at their farewell parties; I’ve made fun of friends when they made a typo in the group chat and then I’ve changed the name of the group chat to have the typo in it.

So take it from me: you can both get laughs and protect your friendships (and professional contacts, and geopolitical relationships). Here’s how.

Don’t overthink it: you can always just tell a story.

Literally, any time that anyone asks you to talk in front of a microphone—whether it’s a roast or a toast or standup or a reading or truly any occasion—no one will get mad at you if you tell a good, relevant story and then briefly explain why you told that story.

In the case of a roast, think of a quality that you might razz your buddy about. Ideally, it should be something that they themselves would openly admit is true. And then tell a story about them that demonstrates that quality. Are they habitually late? Are they obsessed with some arcane subject? Are they the sort of loser nerd who would use the word “arcane” casually?

Whatever their deal is, think of the last time they were dealing it up, and share that story—with bonus points if nobody else in the room has heard it before. Because as the great storytelling comedian Mike Birbiglia has said, about any form of joke-telling: “If you’re not telling secrets, who cares?”

If you’ve never done capital-C Comedy before, I promise that this is the easiest way to successfully complete the assignment. But if you really want to try your hand at an old-school roast with set-’em-up knock-’em-down jokes, you can proceed accordingly:

Double-check how much they really want to get roasted.

This is a good stage in the process to remember that you are not Anthony Jeselnik. (Unless it so happens that you are Anthony Jeselnik, in which case I am sorry that you are stuck reading this column instead of doing cool Anthony Jeselnik stuff.)

You cannot, will not, and should not pull off jokes about the edgiest or darkest subjects you can think of. These things are always more fun when everyone involved is on the same page, operating at the same level of tact (or lack thereof). Mutually assured dysfunction.

So talk to the roastee. Talk to any fellow roasters. Figure out the vibe. And if you realize on the night that some of your jokes might go too far, it’s never too late to cut ’em on the fly.

Once, I was writing for a tribute—a tribute , not a roast—to a legendary comedian. Most of the comics and actors who participated got the idea: there was room for some lighthearted jabs, but ultimately the tone of the night was meant to be sincere.

There was a journalist on the lineup who just didn’t get it. With every draft we sent them, they kept asking for jokes that were sharper, harsher, meaner—true roast fodder. Despite our protestations, we tried to take their notes without veering the remarks too far into disaster.

By the time they got on the stage, they had clearly sought outside help from other writers who had written some incredibly brutal jokes about the honoree and all the other speakers. Were the jokes funny? It did not matter. The tone was completely off and the journalist bombed—fully violating the comedic Geneva Conventions.

All to say:

There is always a line. Walk up to it; dance upon it; don’t cross it.

The Gridiron Club—where leading politicians, including every president since Grover Cleveland, have told jokes to a crowd of journalists for over a century—has a motto: “singe, don’t burn.”

In other words, it’s fine to make jokes that might sting a bit in the moment, but no laugh is worth causing permanent damage. So err on the side of the forgivable. And if somehow your friend is disappointed that you didn’t go hard enough, you can always privately share the jokes from the cutting room floor.

On that note:

Write more than you need, and trim it down by running your set by people you trust.

For every good joke that a professional comedy writer writes, they’ve written approximately 379 jokes that do not work. Your ratio will be worse.

So don’t be afraid to start with a stream-of-consciousness, self-judgment-free brainstorming process in which you write down every idea, half-idea, and mere notion that pops into your head when you think about this friend and this moment. From there it will be much easier—but still hard—to mold that into a series of usable jokes.

Writing a stand-up set is like delicately chiseling an elaborate sculpture from an enormous ice block, except that before you even get to chisel you have to provide your own ice block. (Not to mention that you have to be self-important enough to think this is a fair comparison.)

If you’re not sure where to start:

Remember the universally acknowledged foundation of any good comedy: research!

In leading the humor team at the speechwriting firm West Wing Writers, every so often we get tasked with scripting a full event script for a roast—writing remarks for all the speakers, including the roastee of the evening.

This is always incredibly fun, but it’s also an interesting challenge, because every speaker is expected to make jokes about every other speaker. That means if there are about a dozen participants, we’ve got to come up with at least a dozen different angles for jokes about each person; you don’t want everyone to do a chunk about, say, Cory Booker’s veganism. (And if Cory Booker is reading this, “chunk” can mean a series of jokes, or it can be used as a verb—as in “I chunked that leftover pizza because it was vegan.”)

So, for each and every person on the dais, we put together a “fast facts” document that includes every piece of publicly available information we could find that could conceivably be used as part of a setup for a joke. There’s no reason you couldn’t engage in this exercise for someone you know personally; start by writing down everything you know about them, especially the weird stuff, and you’re well on your way.

Now, if you don’t know as much about them as you’d like:

Talk to the people closest to your roastee, as they will be most ready to betray them.

My buddy Jonathan van Halem—a fellow Brooklyn comedian—was once hired by a fan to roast a friend of theirs who was being punished for getting last place in his fantasy football league. (Who said that men are facing a loneliness epidemic?)

Of course, Jonathan did not know anything about this person, so he asked his client to gather relevant dirt on the roastee that he could use as fodder for jokes. This friend, with the help of the rest of the league, did not hesitate to oblige him.

The list ultimately included entries like “captain of the chess team in high school,” “tiny hands,” “has not been to the gym in ten years,” “gambling addiction,” and “in danger of coming in last place again this year in fantasy football.”

This is a list of qualities gathered by this man’s best friends in the whole world. But that makes sense: nobody knows our flaws better than the people closest to us. And those are the same people who can get away with good-naturedly pointing them out. Or paying Jonathan to do it.

The key word there, though—or, I guess, the key compound adverb—is “good-naturedly.” So:

Make fun of their choices and behaviors—things they can control.

Look, I’m not going to pretend that roasts have historically been a place where decency and good taste have reigned supreme. There’s no doubt that the genre has a long history of people joking, often tastelessly, about race and gender and sexuality and physical appearance. And some people operate under the philosophy that, particularly in this kind of setting, nothing is off-limits and anyone can joke about anything.

Personally, though, I just think it’s more challenging, more rewarding, and ultimately funnier to dig a little deeper, go beyond the hacky obvious ideas, and speak to the qualities that are truly unique to that individual.

Unless you’re talking about Chris Christie, in which case you’ll be speaking to the quantities that are truly unique to that individual.

Sorry, sorry. Let’s move on. (Unlike the commuters on the George Washington Bridge.)

You still get credit for self-deprecation even if you pull someone else into it.

These are what you might call “ugly guys like us” jokes. Which is to say that you can sometimes get away with calling someone ugly if you jovially throw your arm over their shoulder and say it’s a shared affliction.

So don’t just focus on their flaws; think about your flaws too—and wherever there’s overlap, you might be able to earn some goodwill if you poke fun at your roastee and yourself at the same time. They’ll barely be able to tell it’s vehicular manslaughter if you also throw yourself under the bus.

One of my favorite examples of this is kind of a cheat, because it was done as a character. But when the faux conservative Stephen Colbert spoke at the 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner, just feet away from his subject, President George W. Bush, he did a “guys like us” line—and it built to maybe the most famous quote of his career.

“Guys like us, we don’t pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in ‘reality.’ And reality has a well-known liberal bias.”

Assuming you are not roasting the architect of the Iraq War, though:

Soften the blow with the artifice of love.

Sometimes it’s funny just to take something that annoys you about your friend, and put it into the sentence structure “I love how you do X.” By using the tone and structure of praise, you can both lighten the intensity of whatever insult you’re making, and surprise your audience as you misdirect them at the very end of the joke.

One of the most artful executions of this approach I’ve ever heard came from Natasha Leggero at the Comedy Central Roast of James Franco, about the man of the hour:

“Acting! Teaching! Directing! Writing! Producing! Photography! Soundtracks! Editing! Is there anything you can do?”

Finally, once you’ve had enough of the fake love:

Close with actual love.

There’s a motto that originates from the Friars Club, one of the oldest private clubs in show business and the birthplace of the roast as we know it: “We only roast the ones we love.”

There’s a reason why it’s tradition for any roast to end with a moment of sincerity, when the roaster shares what the roastee means to them, and expresses genuine gratitude for their friendship.

It reminds everyone—the audience, the other roasters, and the person in the hot seat—that this is all in good fun. That any critical sentiments expressed are superseded by a deep, abiding love that can easily survive a night of snarky quips.

So don’t step away from the mic without setting aside the artifice for a moment, showing some vulnerability, and saying exactly why you feel close enough to this person to justify roasting them in the first place.

And then once you’ve done that you can throw in one more line about how they’re a huge asshole. Goodnight, everybody!

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Roastmaster is a fun AI tool designed to generate hilarious roast speeches. The more details you share, the more tailored your roast will be. This guide will walk you through each section of the Roastmaster roast generator interface to help you craft the perfect roast.

Person Being Roasted:

The first step is to enter the name of the person you are roasting. This personalizes the roast and makes it more engaging for the audience.

  • Field: Enter the name of the person being roasted.
  • Examples: “Jane Smith,” “Alex Johnson,” “Captain Chaos”

Your Relationship to Them:

Next, describe your relationship to the roastee. This helps tailor the tone and content of the roast, making it more relevant and impactful.

  • Field: Describe your relationship to the roastee (e.g., Friend, Brother, Colleague).
  • Examples: “College roommate,” “Favorite cousin,” “Annoying coworker”

Career & Hobbies (Optional):

Providing information about the roastee’s job and hobbies offers material for humorous observations. These details make the roast more relatable and specific.

  • Field: Describe the roastee’s job or occupation and any hobbies they are passionate about.
  • Examples: “Linda is a yoga instructor who secretly binge-watches reality TV,” “Mark is a lawyer who brews his own kombucha,” “Sarah is a teacher who loves competitive knitting”

Clothing, Hairstyle, etc (Optional):

Highlighting unique fashion choices or personal style quirks adds a humorous and relatable touch to the roast.

  • Field: List some of the roastee’s most unforgettable fashion choices and lifestyle habits.
  • Examples: “Tom’s signature look includes neon tracksuits and retro sneakers,” “Emily is known for her ever-changing hair colors, from electric blue to flaming red,” “Jake’s unforgettable combo of cowboy boots and Hawaiian shirts”

Characteristic Quirks (Optional):

Mentioning the roastee’s distinctive quirks or communication habits adds a personal and funny element to the roast.

  • Field: Mention some of the roastee’s most distinctive quirks or ways they communicate.
  • Examples: “Megan has a habit of quoting Shakespeare at the most inappropriate times,” “Ryan always insists on telling dad jokes, even in serious meetings,” “Anna uses air quotes excessively and dramatically”

Other Stories or Directions (Optional):

Including specific anecdotes or additional instructions ensures your roast is comprehensive and tailored.

  • Field: Enter any additional information about the person you would like to mention in the roast.
  • Examples: “Remember the time Jack got stuck in the elevator for hours and emerged with a full PowerPoint presentation on survival tactics,” “Don’t forget to mention how Laura tried to cook a romantic dinner but set off the fire alarm instead,” “Highlight how Mike once tried to impress a date by performing magic tricks, only to spill red wine everywhere”

Choosing a roast style sets the overall tone, ensuring it matches the occasion and your relationship with the roastee.

  • Dropdown: Select the style of the roast (e.g., light-hearted, brutal, sarcastic).
  • Examples: “Light-hearted,” “Brutal,” “Sarcastic”

Write a Roast:

Finally, click “Write a Roast” to generate your personalized roast speech based on the information provided. This step compiles all the details into a coherent, humorous speech ready for your next roast event.

By following these steps and best practices, you can create a memorable and entertaining roast that will be enjoyed by all. Get creative, share plenty of details, and have fun with the process!

How did this tool work for you? How can we make it better?   Please send us your feedback by using the form below and include as many details as you can. 

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Roast Speech Tips

There is an art to a good roast speech, and we have perfected it! It is slow, turns well and keeps the juices flowing. It is just the right temperature, light hearted and never over the top. Its flavors are full of fun but emanate respect and fondness. Whatever you particular occasion or subject, your roast speech can be really enjoyed by your friends, family or colleagues. It’s difficult to roast someone we don’t know too well, but there are elements to a roast that tease and allow for some gentle fun.

It’s lovely to be at an occasion where such light hearted fun, can actually be the higher form of flattery and really allow us to understand that all seriousness aside we are all in fact undeniably human and therein lies the real juice of a roast, well turned. Whoever you are roasting our speeches will give you plenty of material and you are free to add as much or as little as you want to liven your roast up.

A. M. Venter, Hartbeespoort (South Africa) said, “They were perfect, just what I needed! Thank you!”

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How to Roast People: Finding Joke Ideas, Crafting Punchlines & More

Last Updated: June 27, 2024 Fact Checked

Gathering Joke Ideas

Crafting & delivering jokes, keeping it funny (and not mean).

This article was co-authored by wikiHow staff writer, Dan Hickey . Dan Hickey is a Writer and Humorist based in Chicago, Illinois. He has published pieces on a variety of online satire sites and has been a member of the wikiHow team since 2022. A former teaching artist at a community music school, Dan enjoys helping people learn new skills they never thought they could master. He graduated with a BM in Clarinet Performance from DePauw University in 2015 and an MM from DePaul University in 2017. There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 999,668 times. Learn more...

Poking a little fun at a friend or co-worker during a roast or hangout can give everyone a good laugh, especially if the person being roasted is a good sport. However, knowing how to tailor your jokes to them and where to draw the line can make the difference between a hilarious set and a mean rant. In this article, we’ll walk you through how to generate material about the roastee, craft and practice your jokes, and keep your zingers lighthearted and funny for everyone to enjoy. Keep reading to create your mic drop moment!

Things You Should Know

  • Draw on your experiences with the person or their quirky habits to generate joke material (“Until I met John, I’d never seen someone eat a hot dog longways.”).
  • Craft a misleading setup paired with a funny, unexpected punchline about the person (“Susan is the best friend, confidant, and shoplifter I’ve ever met.”).
  • Make sure ahead of time that the roastee is a good sport who can take a joke. To be safe, try to avoid touchy topics like past relationships, religion, or death.

Step 1 Watch other roasts for inspiration.

  • Watch professional roasts on TV with a grain of salt. Pro comedians go harsh and dirty for shock or entertainment value, but this isn’t always great for a friendly roast.
  • For example, if you're roasting your boss at a work event, extra foul language, sex jokes, or stories about rule-breaking would concern them rather than make them laugh.

Step 2 Think about the roastee’s odd habits or quirks.

  • For example, if the person loves peanut butter and bologna sandwiches, that's outside the norm and people may find it funny (“The only thing worse than Carl’s taste in style is his taste for peanut butter and bologna sandwiches.”).
  • Try not to pick at character flaws or harmful behaviors that are more concerning than funny. These can be uncomfortable for the roastee and audience.
  • For example, say the person frequently sends mean messages to people. It’s certainly odd, but it’s emotionally hurtful and hard to make lighthearted.

Step 3 Recall notable memories you have of the person.

  • For instance, maybe a person jumped into the pool fully clothed at an office party to save a box of donuts. You could use that to tease the person a bit (“Deandra loves sugar so much that she once ruined a $1,000 Armani jacket to rescue a $5 box of donuts from the pool.”).

Step 4 Stretch the truth, but don't ignore it.

  • For instance, you might mention a pair of pants that Joe wears to work that are just a bit too short, then riff on his Steve Urkel-esque fashion sense. This way, you’re not attacking the person's style without context or just berating them for wearing ill-fitting clothes.

Step 5 Scope out information from others who know the person.

  • "Everyone knows Joe’s misadventures around the grill. So when he invites me over for a cookout, I skip a step and bring the fire department with me. OK, honestly I just make up an excuse and get take-out instead. There’s really no punchline here. Joe’s just a terrible, terrible cook.”

Step 6 State obvious traits about the person.

  • Is the person getting old? Try something like “Larry didn’t need to go to the theater to see The Mummy . He was there when they wrapped and buried it.”
  • Is the person bad with technology? Try “Larry is a decent nurse, but terrible with computers. He’s introduced more viruses into the office than the patients have.”
  • Is the person overly frugal? Say “Larry’s so cheap, the shops in town had to change the notes by their cash registers to read ‘Take a penny, LEAVE A PENNY, LARRY!’”

Step 7 Stick to specific traits and not their race, gender, or sexual orientation.

  • Denigrating humor can accidentally deepen people’s subconscious prejudices instead of bringing people together with laughs.
  • If you do share an identity layer with them, you might get away with friendly jokes if it’s obvious in the setup that you have that in common and you're both comfortable talking about it.

Step 1 Brainstorm multiple punchline options on note cards.

  • Punchline 1: “... he can’t even summon the energy to laugh at these hilarious jokes.”
  • Punchline 2: “... that when his ex-wife said ‘That’s it — I’m leaving,’ he said ‘Could you grab me a beer on your way out?’”
  • Punchline 3: “... that no one even bothers to ask him to do anything anymore — oh, wait — I just realized — my brother is a genius!”

Step 2 Misdirect your audience and end a joke or story with a surprise.

  • “One time, I saw Jane lugging a box of like 200 tea bags into the office. I said, ‘Jane, how can any person drink that much tea?’ She said ‘I’ll tell you a secret — I soak my feet in it under my desk to help with foot odor.’ And when I asked ‘Then why are your teeth stained brown?’ she answered ‘Well, this tea is expensive. I’m not going to waste it!’"

Step 3 Include details about the person in your setup to heighten your jokes.

  • For example, you could say, “Fred has never been on time for a staff meeting. In fact, when it came time for him to lead one, he thought he was supposed to start it with ‘OK, any questions before we finish?’ And for the ‘continental breakfast’ he brought lukewarm decaf and half an onion bagel for everyone to share.”

Step 4 Pace yourself and leave pauses for laughs.

  • “Steve has been at this company for 14 years and has never learned how to use the copy machine. [short pause for audience comprehension] His paperwork is like that one time he won employee of the month—[pause to set up the punchline]—not replicable.”

Step 5 Tell your jokes...

  • To seem confident, look around the room and make eye contact with people.
  • Speak in a clear, engaging, conversational tone.
  • Stand up straight and try not to fidget. Practice your set in the mirror a few times to check your demeanor. Remember, you’re putting on an act!

Step 1 Make sure the person is a good sport.

  • Roast people who can laugh at themselves. While people who can’t take a joke are often the ones most deserving of a roast, they’re also usually the worst ones to actually roast. [14] X Research source

Step 2 Steer clear of topics that would offend the roastee.

  • For instance, bringing up the eating habits of someone you know has struggled with an eating disorder or body image issues is not a good idea (unless they say they’re OK with it).
  • On the other hand, bringing up eating habits for a different person may be perfectly fine, but they may have other sensitivities, like the way they dress.

Step 3 Test your more sensitive material on a small audience.

  • Pick someone who will be discreet about the material you're testing. If it does go too far, you don't want it to get back around to the person.

Step 4 Go easier on the person if they seem uncomfortable or upset at your jokes.

  • For instance, the person might not be into the jokes if they have an upset expression or a fake smile plastered on.
  • Other unhappy positions could be having their arms or legs crossed, leaning away from you, or getting restless and moving around in their seat a lot.

Step 5 Skip jokes about past relationships.

  • That said, some people can handle these jokes just fine. It all depends on the individual.
  • You may have license to roast a past relationship if you were the one in the relationship with them!

Step 6 Try to stay away from classic “taboo” topics like religion.

  • If you’re on the fence about how a joke will be received, use “better safe than sorry” in deciding to leave some topics off limits.
  • On the other hand, there’s no hard and fast rule here. Use your knowledge of your target and your audience to decide if a joke will fly.

Step 7 Listen to your...

  • If you can’t enjoy yourself while telling the jokes, then why bother doing it at all?

Community Q&A

wikiHow Staff Editor

You Might Also Like

Find Your Doppelganger

  • ↑ https://www.comedypreneur.com/how-to-write-and-perform-a-comedy-roast/
  • ↑ https://grammar.yourdictionary.com/style-and-usage/writing-a-retirement-roast-speech.html
  • ↑ https://theconversation.com/psychology-behind-the-unfunny-consequences-of-jokes-that-denigrate-63855
  • ↑ https://www.fastcompany.com/1681486/roastmaster-general-jeff-ross-on-how-to-burn-someone
  • ↑ https://westsidetoastmasters.com/article_reference/how_to_add_humor_to_any_speech.html
  • ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/fixing-relationship-problems-with-humor.htm
  • ↑ https://www.succeedsocially.com/tease

About This Article

Dan Hickey

The trick to roasting someone is to playfully insult them without being hurtful. To get started, think about some of the person’s funny habits or quirks. Pick silly ones that they might already joke about themselves, like their weird taste in sandwiches or their collection of goofy socks. You can also use memories of something funny or embarrassing that happened to them, as long as it isn’t too serious or upsetting. Stay away from topics that might be sensitive for them, like their appearance, beliefs, or past relationships. If you’re not sure whether your jokes are funny enough, or if you’re worried they might be too mean, try testing them out on a couple of the person’s friends before you do the roast. For more tips, including how to make your roasts funnier by using specific details, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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How to Give an Awesome Toast: Advanced Strategies for Speeches

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Someone’s getting married. Someone has a big birthday. Someone got a promotion …and you’ve been asked to give a toast. I want to teach you how to give great toasts every time. But first… 

Please don’t blow it.

I’m at that wonderful time in a person’s life where wedding invitations roll in on a weekly basis, friends land awesome new jobs, and baby bumps are announced regularly. This means I sit through a lot of toasts…

Toasts that are too long.

Toasts that are horribly inappropriate.

Toasts that fall flat.

And occasionally, very rarely, like as often as I floss (twice a year, right before the dentist), I hear a toast that BLOWS ME AWAY.

A great toast is an event game-changer . People perk up in their seats, guests put away their phones, jovial back slapping and glass clinking increases three-fold. Oh yeah, and the toaster? They become a celebrity. If you ever want 15 minutes of fame, set yourself up to give an awesome toast.

Here’s what will happen: You will put down the microphone and everyone , especially Grandma Dee, will want to talk to you. Uncles and college roommates alike will generously offer to buy you a drink at the all-inclusive bar. The videographer will grant you an exclusive interview and follow you around for a good portion of the evening, until you tell them that you want to eat your surf and turf in private. The waiters will wink at you, the bartender will give you an extra cherry, and the guest of honor (whomever you toasted) will gush and cry and thank you profusely for making them look good.

Bottom Line: Giving a great toast is a gift.

Your amazing toast is a gift to the person you love. It’s a gift to the audience desperate for some entertainment, and, sure, it’s pretty fun to be a rock star for the evening.

After listening to literally hundreds of toasts, I have identified the patterns that differentiate the suck-worthy from the award-winning.

Before diving in, be sure to:

  • Bookmark this page for future use.
  • Send it to your friend who has a toast coming up.
  • Share it on Facebook to increase the chances of someone in your life giving you an awesome toast.

The Perfect Toast

Watch our video below to learn how to give a captivating presentation!

The best toasts follow the same basic structure. When you pull out a blank piece of paper to jot down some ideas, do it in the following format:

People decide if they like your toast within the first seven seconds. If you don’t hook your audience immediately, you will lose them.

The biggest mistake toasters make is: Starting with “I,” “me,” or “my.”

  • I have known ___ for 5 years…
  • My name is ___.
  • Me and ___ met back in college.

I’m going to be frank: No one cares about you, your history, or your relationship with the guest of honor—at least not yet. Everyone is gathered for the toastee (the person you are toasting), and that is who they want to hear about. They want to hear embarrassing stories, secrets, and funny tidbits. So, give them what they want. And do it quickly.

Think of your audience like a hungry, hungry toddler. They are starving, and you have to give them a little bit to nibble on before you put on their bib and strap them into their high chair. When toasting, you do this with your hook.

The hook is a one- to three-line description of the toastee. It should be juicy, funny, or mysterious. This is the first line of your speech. Let’s say the person you are toasting is named Spencer. Fill in the blank:

  • Spencer is ____.
  • Tonight, you will learn why Spencer ____.
  • The best story I have about Spencer starts with ____.
  • Spencer is the person you call when you have locked yourself out of your dorm bathroom without clothes. Not only will she bring you a towel and a spare key, she also will keep your secret until you spill it at her wedding.
  • Tonight you will learn why Spencer always was called “Mini-Mom.” She carries snacks in her purse, has a first aid kit on hand at all times, and is extremely good at letting you know when you broke a rule.
  • The best story I have about Spencer starts with an outdoor toilet. I knew we would be best friends when she was the only person waiting in line at the concert Porta Potties who would give me some of her extra toilet paper. THAT is the definition of true sharing—Mrs. Jones, you taught her well.

This hook warms the audience up to you and gives them a promise of salacious and amusing stories ahead.

The Background

Once you have hooked the audience, you do have to give them some background on why you’re giving a toast in the first place. By now, they are moderately intrigued and want some context. HOWEVER, there is a right and wrong way to give background.

  • Don’t waste the opportunity for a good joke.
  • Don’t skim over the delicious details.
  • Don’t make it sound like everyone else’s.
  • Punch up the context.
  • Keep it short.
  • Cue up a story to come later.

For example, you often hear people say, “I met the groom as a freshman in college, and we were roommates for three years.” Or, “I’m the maid of honor and the bride’s little sister.” BORING! Try this instead:

  • The groom was the first friendly face I saw during freshman orientation at Emory University. Little did we know that we would end up rooming together for the next three years.
  • I am Spencer’s little sister, maid of honor, part-time slave, and chocolate cookie sharer.
  • Spencer and I have worked together for the last five years, and, as you will learn, she is also the sole reason I was kicked off the office softball team. But first, let me tell you a less embarrassing story…

1-2-3 Punch

After your hook and a brief background, you are ready for 1, 2, or 3 stories, depending on how much time you have been allotted. Rule of thumb:

  • Under 2 minutes: Hook, Background, 1 Story, Clink
  • 2-5 minutes: Hook, Background, 2 Stories, Clink
  • Over 5 minutes: Hook, Background, 3 Stories, Clink

The stories you pick are key to giving a killer toast. The perfect story has the following elements:

  • Someone is a little embarrassed. It can be you, the toastee, or a mutual friend. But you want the audience to cringe just a little.
  • Strong sensory elements. A smelly frat house, a drippy burrito, a sticky car seat—the more your audience can picture (and smell and taste) your story, the more they will be captivated.
  • Reference audience members. As much as possible, reference and call out people in the audience. This can be people who were in your story—George, I’m talking about you! Or a warning to concerned parties—Mom, you better close your ears! It will get you easy laughs and keep people engaged.
  • A punch line. This is the hardest one. Sometimes there are great stories for conversation, but not great stories for the stage. Your story has to end on a funny line, a shocking tidbit or an ahh-shucks gush. You want the audience to be either laughing, shaking their heads and saying ‘oh no,’ or moaning, ‘awwwww.’
  • A tie-in. Once you have gotten the big laugh, the “oh no” or the ‘aww,’ it’s time to bring it ’round to them. They want to feel included in your closeness. The best stories end with the audience. The easiest way to do this is to either warn them to look out for a behavior during the event (If you see Spencer run up to the buffet, you’ll know why!) or tell the audience that you will make sure a behavior from the story does/doesn’t happen again. (I’ll make sure Spencer is not late to the altar tomorrow!)

Only OK Story : Spencer and I used to party hard in college. One night, we were getting ready to go to a toga party, and Spencer forgot to wear something under her toga! We get to the frat party and as she is dancing, her toga gets caught on something and rips off. She was so red and so embarrassed and tried to play it off like it happened on purpose, but we all know what really happened. Anyway, she went off to the bathroom and got it all fixed. But it was a crazy night.

Awesome Story : Some of you might know that Spencer is a total party animal. And by party animal, I mean he goes to bed by 10 p.m. every night, prefers Coke without the rum, and actually volunteers to be the designated driver. So, we should have known better than to convince her to go to a toga party at the local fraternity.—Don’t worry Dad, there were teacher chaperones there (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). Spencer, being a toga party novice, did not get the memo to wear a “just in case” outfit underneath her toga, assuming that the billowing white sheet and four safety pins would cover her aplenty. Fast forward to the middle of the dance floor, Spencer is about to bust into one of her crazy dance moves. (I’m sure she learned that from you, older brother Robert). Anyone who went to college with Spencer—I see the Tri Delta table in the back—knows the Spencer dance move I am talking about. It involves a little shimmy here and a little bouncy there. So, in the middle of this crazy dance move, Spencer’s toga gets stuck on the corner of the beer pong table and rips off of her in one big swoosh. Of course, Spencer pretends this was a purposeful move and ties it into her grand finale, sashaying off the dance floor into the bathroom. Don’t worry everyone, I have made sure her wedding dress is secured with more than just safety pins for dancing later.

After your final story and your last audience tie-in, it’s time for the clink. This is the part of the speech where you can get sappy. It’s your opportunity to offer well wishes, thanks, and gratitude toward the toastee and anyone else in the room. Specifically:

  • Thank the hosts.
  • Offer good wishes or congratulations.
  • Bring in the audience to make those thanks and wishes with you.

The best clinks actually allow the audience to join in with your gratitude and make everyone in the room feel that you speak on their behalf.

Only OK Clink : Lift your glasses in a toast to the bride and groom and their family.

Awesome Clink : Please lift your glasses as we thank Mr. and Mrs. Jones for hosting this lovely evening. To the beautiful bride and groom, may you have a long, healthy life with just as beautiful children. We love you and are so excited for you. Cheers!

Toast Felonies

I talked about the Toast Do’s, and now it’s time to review the dreaded Toast Don’ts. I call these Toast Felonies because they absolutely kill your stage presence and charisma.

Full disclosure : These are harsh… and super common. If you want a great toast, you have to throw away the easy stuff, make some cuts, and dig deep. If you have committed one of these toast felonies in the past, it’s okay, I forgive you–but do better next time. When preparing your toast — pretty, pretty please, for all that is holy — never, ever, ever do the following:

Scripts Kill

This is a really hard one. Do NOT write out your speech. Do NOT type it up word for word. Do NOT read. The moment you read your toast, your charisma dies a slow, painful, embarrassing death.

Scripting is lazy. Yeah, I said it. Scripting your speech is not a gift. It’s a gift card. It’s not as good, not as personal, and makes your audience do the work.

I have never ever heard an awesome toast that was read. Have you? But, have you really?

  • Next time someone reads a toast or a speech, look around the room. After about 20 seconds, people’s eyes glaze over, they start pulling out their phones, and they sit back in their chairs.
  • Our brains CANNOT pay attention to the tone of voice we use when we read. It’s impossible to engage your audience fully as you read—no matter how vocally expressive you are.
  • You get NO credit for being funny. When you read out jokes or funny quips from a page, people don’t laugh as much. They might chuckle, but they will not feel the humor with you.
  • You get NO credit for being authentic. When you read out how much you love the toastee, it doesn’t feel as genuine—even if it is. Speak from the heart, don’t read from the heart.

There is an answer. It’s the savior, the angel: bullet points. The beauty of centering your toast around stories is that you know how to tell your stories. In fact, the more fluid and off-the-cuff you can be, the better. Bullet out each area of your speech, and then practice, practice, practice. Remember, this is your gift. This is your friend, family member, or loved one. They are worth it.

Stop Superlatives

A superlative is a word that signifies the most of a trait. For example, here are the superlatives that are used the most often in toasts:

These words are like cotton candy—they sound pretty, but they have no nutritional value. When you say, “The bride is the prettiest, funniest, bestest, girl in the whole world!” you might as well be saying, “The bride is the blah-diest, most blah-diest, blah, blah, blah!” Superlatives are boring AND everyone else will be saying them. If you don’t want your toast to sound like everyone else’s, then cut them. ALL OF THEM. Here’s how:

Every time you want to use a superlative, think of a story or example you can give instead. For example, instead of saying, “Spencer is the kindest person in the world.” Say, “Spencer is my go-to on-call therapist—except she is cheaper. She is always there in a crisis. She is always there when you need someone to binge-eat Chunky Monkey ice cream with after a breakup. She is always there when you get fired from your job and you need someone to help you graffiti the bathroom—just kidding, she was just the lookout.”

No Qualifications

You know a toast will go badly when someone takes the mic and starts with a litany of apologies and qualifiers. They sound like this: “I’m sorry I’m not a great speaker…” “I don’t know ___ that well, but…” “I’m sorry I had to use note cards.” “I’m sorry I’m drunk.” Starting a toast with a qualifier is like admitting defeat before the race. Interestingly, qualifiers tend to have the opposite effect of what was intended. Instead of offering an excuse or apology, qualifiers actually call attention to whatever you are worried about and irritate the audience. So, STOP it! You have three choices:

  • Get over it.

Ditché the Cliché

  • Your friend has a shoulder to cry on.
  • You see them once in a blue moon.
  • Your relationship means the world to you.
  • You are partners in crime.

Clichés are vapid terms that encourage communication slothfulness. You can’t have an awesome toast while being verbally lazy. And guess what? You can kill clichés with a shockingly simple word weapon. It’s called a thesaurus. Use one, Google one, and ruthlessly cut banal platitudes.

Don’t Forget Nonverbal

When practicing your speech, don’t forget about your body language in addition to your verbal language. Here are a few nonverbal tips for you:

  • Claim the stage. Confident body language is about taking up space. Plant both feet (don’t stand like you have to go pee), roll your shoulders back (don’t look like a turtle), and keep your torso unblocked. (See the next point—you should be using your hands, not hiding them!)
  • Can you embellish your stories with hand gestures , reenactments, or voices? The audience loves this. There is no such thing as too corny in a toast.
  • When you make a joke, laugh with the audience. When you get on stage or say sweet things about the toastee, smile. It will warm you up and help with your nerves.

Toast Quick Tips

I have a few more quick tips for toasts that you should keep in mind:

  • When in doubt, ask permission: If you are worried a joke is too embarrassing or inappropriate, then ask a friend or ask the toastee. Better safe than sorry.
  • Never curse. Ever. There will be kids. There will be a conservative grandmother. Just don’t.
  • Bring a glass. At the end of your toast, you will want to make a toast. Don’t forget to bring up a glass (and practice holding one while you deliver).

Most importantly, remember that your toast is an act of love. I’m being serious here! The greatest gift you can give another human being is sharing your love for them in public. It honors them, it honors your relationship, and it shows others you are proud to have them in your life. So don’t just have an okay toast; have an awesome one.

Popular Guides

36 thoughts on “how to give an awesome toast: advanced strategies for speeches”.

how to make a good roast speech

This was perfect timing! My sister gets married in a month! Thank you. My problem is that I always get so emotional in speeches and either forget what I was going to say or I can’t say what I wanted because I’m crying. I’ve tried everything! I’ve tried power posing, visualizing before hand and nothing works. Thoughts?

how to make a good roast speech

This post was fantastic to read. I’m very pleased I took the time to read it, as I will be definitely sharing it with my loved ones to support me over my upcoming wedding.

how to make a good roast speech

Thanks for the post. It’s very useful and fun to read.

how to make a good roast speech

My best friend and I have already established that we will be each other’s maid of honor, so I’ve been thinking about what kind of toast I would give at her wedding. This is a great guide for that and really helped me organize my thoughts on her toast. Thank you for sharing these tips!

how to make a good roast speech

I think it’s a great article, not only for toasts, but for speeches and lectures!

how to make a good roast speech

What an amazing article! You covered everything thoroughly. And you’re such a good writer.

how to make a good roast speech

This is a great article – Thanks for sharing the do’s and don’ts. I look forward to adopt this techniques to delivery an awesome Toast

how to make a good roast speech

Excellent article! Thanks for sharing.

Comments are closed.

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How to write a good speech in 7 steps

By:  Susan Dugdale  

- an easily followed format for writing a great speech

Did you know writing a speech doesn't have be an anxious, nail biting experience?

Unsure? Don't be.

You may have lived with the idea you were never good with words for a long time. Or perhaps giving speeches at school brought you out in cold sweats.

However learning how to write a speech is relatively straight forward when you learn to write out loud.

And that's the journey I am offering to take you on: step by step.

To learn quickly, go slow

Take all the time you need. This speech writing format has 7 steps, each building on the next.

Walk, rather than run, your way through all of them. Don't be tempted to rush. Familiarize yourself with the ideas. Try them out.

I know there are well-advertised short cuts and promises of 'write a speech in 5 minutes'. However in reality they only truly work for somebody who already has the basic foundations of speech writing in place.

The foundation of good speech writing 

These steps are the backbone of sound speech preparation. Learn and follow them well at the outset and yes, given more experience and practice you could probably flick something together quickly. Like any skill, the more it's used, the easier it gets.

In the meantime...

Step 1: Begin with a speech overview or outline

Are you in a hurry? Without time to read a whole page? Grab ... The Quick How to Write a Speech Checklist And come back to get the details later.

  • WHO you are writing your speech for (your target audience)
  • WHY you are preparing this speech. What's the main purpose of your speech? Is it to inform or tell your audience about something? To teach them a new skill or demonstrate something? To persuade or to entertain? (See 4 types of speeches: informative, demonstrative, persuasive and special occasion or entertaining for more.) What do you want them to think, feel or do as a result of listening the speech?
  • WHAT your speech is going to be about (its topic) - You'll want to have thought through your main points and have ranked them in order of importance. And have sorted the supporting research you need to make those points effectively.
  • HOW much time you have for your speech eg. 3 minutes, 5 minutes... The amount of time you've been allocated dictates how much content you need. If you're unsure check this page: how many words per minute in a speech: a quick reference guide . You'll find estimates of the number of words required for 1 - 10 minute speeches by slow, medium and fast talkers.

Use an outline

The best way to make sure you deliver an effective speech is to start by carefully completing a speech outline covering the essentials: WHO, WHY, WHAT and HOW.

Beginning to write without thinking your speech through is a bit like heading off on a journey not knowing why you're traveling or where you're going to end up. You can find yourself lost in a deep, dark, murky muddle of ideas very quickly!

Pulling together a speech overview or outline is a much safer option. It's the map you'll follow to get where you want to go.

Get a blank speech outline template to complete

Click the link to find out a whole lot more about preparing a speech outline . ☺ You'll also find a free printable blank speech outline template.  I recommend using it!

Understanding speech construction

Before you begin to write, using your completed outline as a guide, let's briefly look at what you're aiming to prepare.

  • an opening or introduction
  • the body where the bulk of the information is given
  • and an ending (or summary).

Imagine your speech as a sandwich

Image: gourmet sandwich with labels on the top (opening) and bottom (conclusion) slices of bread and filling, (body). Text: Key ingredients for a superb speech sandwich.

If you think of a speech as a sandwich you'll get the idea.

The opening and ending are the slices of bread holding the filling (the major points or the body of your speech) together.

You can build yourself a simple sandwich with one filling (one big idea) or you could go gourmet and add up to three or, even five. The choice is yours.

But whatever you choose to serve, as a good cook, you need to consider who is going to eat it! And that's your audience.

So let's find out who they are before we do anything else. 

Step 2: Know who you are talking to

Understanding your audience.

Did you know a  good speech is never written from the speaker's point of view?  ( If you need to know more about why check out this page on  building rapport .)

Begin with the most important idea/point on your outline.

Consider HOW you can explain (show, tell) that to your audience in the most effective way for them to easily understand it.   

Writing from the audience's point of view

how to make a good roast speech

To help you write from an audience point of view, it's a good idea to identify either a real person or the type of person who is most likely to be listening to you.

Make sure you select someone who represents the "majority" of the people who will be in your audience. That is they are neither struggling to comprehend you at the bottom of your scale or light-years ahead at the top.

Now imagine they are sitting next to you eagerly waiting to hear what you're going to say. Give them a name, for example, Joe, to help make them real.

Ask yourself

  • How do I need to tailor my information to meet Joe's needs? For example, do you tell personal stories to illustrate your main points? Absolutely! Yes. This is a very powerful technique. (Click storytelling in speeches to find out more.)
  • What type or level of language is right for Joe as well as my topic? For example, if I use jargon (activity, industry or profession specific vocabulary) will it be understood?

Step 3: Writing as you speak

Writing oral language.

Write down what you want to say about your first main point as if you were talking directly to Joe.

If it helps, say it all out loud before you write it down and/or record it.

Use the information below as a guide

Infographic: The Characteristics of Spoken Language - 7 points of difference with examples.

(Click to download The Characteristics of Spoken Language  as a pdf.) 

You do not have to write absolutely everything you're going to say down * but you do need to write down, or outline, the sequence of ideas to ensure they are logical and easily followed.

Remember too, to explain or illustrate your point with examples from your research. 

( * Tip: If this is your first speech the safety net of having everything written down could be just what you need. It's easier to recover from a patch of jitters when you have a word by word manuscript than if you have either none, or a bare outline. Your call!)

Step 4: Checking tone and language

The focus of this step is re-working what you've done in Step 2 and 3.

You identified who you were talking to (Step 2) and in Step 3, wrote up your first main point.  Is it right? Have you made yourself clear?  Check it.

Graphic:cartoon drawing of a woman sitting in front of a laptop. Text:How to write a speech: checking tone and language.

How well you complete this step depends on how well you understand the needs of the people who are going to listen to your speech.

Please do not assume because you know what you're talking about the person (Joe) you've chosen to represent your audience will too. Joe is not a mind-reader!

How to check what you've prepared

  • Check the "tone" of your language . Is it right for the occasion, subject matter and your audience?
  • Check the length of your sentences. You need short sentences. If they're too long or complicated you risk losing your listeners.

Check for jargon too. These are industry, activity or group exclusive words.

For instance take the phrase: authentic learning . This comes from teaching and refers to connecting lessons to the daily life of students. Authentic learning is learning that is relevant and meaningful for students. If you're not a teacher you may not understand the phrase.

The use of any vocabulary requiring insider knowledge needs to be thought through from the audience perspective. Jargon can close people out.

  • Read what you've written out loud. If it flows naturally, in a logical manner, continue the process with your next main idea. If it doesn't, rework.

We use whole sentences and part ones, and we mix them up with asides or appeals e.g. "Did you get that? Of course you did. Right...Let's move it along. I was saying ..."

Click for more about the differences between spoken and written language .

And now repeat the process

Repeat this process for the remainder of your main ideas.

Because you've done the first one carefully, the rest should follow fairly easily.

Step 5: Use transitions

Providing links or transitions between main ideas.

Between each of your main ideas you need to provide a bridge or pathway for your audience. The clearer the pathway or bridge, the easier it is for them to make the transition from one idea to the next.

Graphic - girl walking across a bridge. Text - Using transitions to link ideas.

If your speech contains more than three main ideas and each is building on the last, then consider using a "catch-up" or summary as part of your transitions.

Is your speech being evaluated? Find out exactly what aspects you're being assessed on using this standard speech evaluation form

Link/transition examples

A link can be as simple as:

"We've explored one scenario for the ending of Block Buster 111, but let's consider another. This time..."

What follows this transition is the introduction of Main Idea Two.

Here's a summarizing link/transition example:

"We've ended Blockbuster 111 four ways so far. In the first, everybody died. In the second, everybody died BUT their ghosts remained to haunt the area. In the third, one villain died. His partner reformed and after a fight-out with the hero, they both strode off into the sunset, friends forever. In the fourth, the hero dies in a major battle but is reborn sometime in the future.

And now what about one more? What if nobody died? The fifth possibility..."

Go back through your main ideas checking the links. Remember Joe as you go. Try each transition or link out loud and really listen to yourself. Is it obvious? Easily followed?

Keep them if they are clear and concise.

For more about transitions (with examples) see Andrew Dlugan's excellent article, Speech Transitions: Magical words and Phrases .

Step 6: The end of your speech

The ideal ending is highly memorable . You want it to live on in the minds of your listeners long after your speech is finished. Often it combines a call to action with a summary of major points.

Comic Graphic: End with a bang

Example speech endings

Example 1: The desired outcome of a speech persuading people to vote for you in an upcoming election is that they get out there on voting day and do so. You can help that outcome along by calling them to register their support by signing a prepared pledge statement as they leave.

"We're agreed we want change. You can help us give it to you by signing this pledge statement as you leave. Be part of the change you want to see!

Example 2: The desired outcome is increased sales figures. The call to action is made urgent with the introduction of time specific incentives.

"You have three weeks from the time you leave this hall to make that dream family holiday in New Zealand yours. Can you do it? Will you do it? The kids will love it. Your wife will love it. Do it now!"

How to figure out the right call to action

A clue for working out what the most appropriate call to action might be, is to go back to your original purpose for giving the speech.

  • Was it to motivate or inspire?
  • Was it to persuade to a particular point of view?
  • Was it to share specialist information?
  • Was it to celebrate a person, a place, time or event?

Ask yourself what you want people to do as a result of having listened to your speech.

For more about ending speeches

Visit this page for more about how to end a speech effectively . You'll find two additional types of speech endings with examples.

Write and test

Write your ending and test it out loud. Try it out on a friend, or two. Is it good? Does it work?

Step 7: The introduction

Once you've got the filling (main ideas) the linking and the ending in place, it's time to focus on the introduction.

The introduction comes last as it's the most important part of your speech. This is the bit that either has people sitting up alert or slumped and waiting for you to end. It's the tone setter!

What makes a great speech opening?

Ideally you want an opening that makes listening to you the only thing the 'Joes' in the audience want to do.

You want them to forget they're hungry or that their chair is hard or that their bills need paying.

The way to do that is to capture their interest straight away. You do this with a "hook".

Hooks to catch your audience's attention

Hooks come in as many forms as there are speeches and audiences. Your task is work out what specific hook is needed to catch your audience.

Graphic: shoal of fish and two hooked fishing lines. Text: Hooking and holding attention

Go back to the purpose. Why are you giving this speech?

Once you have your answer, consider your call to action. What do you want the audience to do, and, or take away, as a result of listening to you?

Next think about the imaginary or real person you wrote for when you were focusing on your main ideas.

Choosing the best hook

  • Is it humor?
  • Would shock tactics work?
  • Is it a rhetorical question?
  • Is it formality or informality?
  • Is it an outline or overview of what you're going to cover, including the call to action?
  • Or is it a mix of all these elements?

A hook example

Here's an example from a fictional political speech. The speaker is lobbying for votes. His audience are predominately workers whose future's are not secure.

"How's your imagination this morning? Good? (Pause for response from audience) Great, I'm glad. Because we're going to put it to work starting right now.

I want you to see your future. What does it look like? Are you happy? Is everything as you want it to be? No? Let's change that. We could do it. And we could do it today.

At the end of this speech you're going to be given the opportunity to change your world, for a better one ...

No, I'm not a magician. Or a simpleton with big ideas and precious little commonsense. I'm an ordinary man, just like you. And I have a plan to share!"

And then our speaker is off into his main points supported by examples. The end, which he has already foreshadowed in his opening, is the call to vote for him.

Prepare several hooks

Experiment with several openings until you've found the one that serves your audience, your subject matter and your purpose best.

For many more examples of speech openings go to: how to write a speech introduction . You'll find 12 of the very best ways to start a speech.

how to make a good roast speech

That completes the initial seven steps towards writing your speech. If you've followed them all the way through, congratulations, you now have the text of your speech!

Although you might have the words, you're still a couple of steps away from being ready to deliver them. Both of them are essential if you want the very best outcome possible. They are below. Please take them.

Step 8: Checking content and timing

This step pulls everything together.

Check once, check twice, check three times & then once more!

Go through your speech really carefully.

On the first read through check you've got your main points in their correct order with supporting material, plus an effective introduction and ending.

On the second read through check the linking passages or transitions making sure they are clear and easily followed.

On the third reading check your sentence structure, language use and tone.

Double, triple check the timing

Now go though once more.

This time read it aloud slowly and time yourself.

If it's too long for the time allowance you've been given make the necessary cuts.

Start by looking at your examples rather than the main ideas themselves. If you've used several examples to illustrate one principal idea, cut the least important out.

Also look to see if you've repeated yourself unnecessarily or, gone off track. If it's not relevant, cut it.

Repeat the process, condensing until your speech fits the required length, preferably coming in just under your time limit.

You can also find out how approximately long it will take you to say the words you have by using this very handy words to minutes converter . It's an excellent tool, one I frequently use. While it can't give you a precise time, it does provide a reasonable estimate.

Graphic: Click to read example speeches of all sorts.

Step 9: Rehearsing your speech

And NOW you are finished with writing the speech, and are ready for REHEARSAL .

how to make a good roast speech

Please don't be tempted to skip this step. It is not an extra thrown in for good measure. It's essential.

The "not-so-secret" secret of successful speeches combines good writing with practice, practice and then, practicing some more.

Go to how to practice public speaking and you'll find rehearsal techniques and suggestions to boost your speech delivery from ordinary to extraordinary.

The Quick How to Write a Speech Checklist

Before you begin writing you need:.

  • Your speech OUTLINE with your main ideas ranked in the order you're going to present them. (If you haven't done one complete this 4 step sample speech outline . It will make the writing process much easier.)
  • Your RESEARCH
  • You also need to know WHO you're speaking to, the PURPOSE of the speech and HOW long you're speaking for

The basic format

  • the body where you present your main ideas

Split your time allowance so that you spend approximately 70% on the body and 15% each on the introduction and ending.

How to write the speech

  • Write your main ideas out incorporating your examples and research
  • Link them together making sure each flows in a smooth, logical progression
  • Write your ending, summarizing your main ideas briefly and end with a call for action
  • Write your introduction considering the 'hook' you're going to use to get your audience listening
  • An often quoted saying to explain the process is: Tell them what you're going to tell them (Introduction) Tell them (Body of your speech - the main ideas plus examples) Tell them what you told them (The ending)

TEST before presenting. Read aloud several times to check the flow of material, the suitability of language and the timing.

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how to make a good roast speech

Frantically Speaking

How to Effectively Roast People (Without ACTUALLY Hurting Them)

Hrideep barot.

  • Public Speaking

How to roast someone

A roast is when we purposely make fun of someone without hurting them. To know how to roast people, we have to first find roast-worthy content, which is where the main work goes in. We also have to make sure the audience can understand us and be prepared to deal with a failed roasting. Lastly, we need to avoid topics that can cause harm.

We will first consider the definition and then move on to the main part of how to roast people. We will also consider a few other important topics along these lines, where we will talk about hurtful roasts, a few examples of savage roasts, and what to do when someone roasts you.

What does roasting someone mean?

It means to purposefully make fun of someone for the purpose of humor rather than hurting the individual. 

How to roast someone?

It essentially comes down to finding roast-worthy content, making it understandable, being prepared to manage a failed roast, and avoiding topics that can lead to triggers.

Find roast-worthy content

  • Some qualities they lack , e.g., you don’t get to speak- you have 0 fashion sense. Next thing I know, you would be seen wearing shorts and blazers.
  • Some obvious physical features , like height, age, etc, e.g., Joe- amazing guy. Loving family, lots of money, and a balded head that he uses to blind his enemies. 
  • Strange things they do , e.g., he always avoids taking up a room on an even number floor because intuition tells him it’s unlucky.
  • Strange things that they did in the past regardless of whether this is something they typically do, e.g., he needed a loaf of bread- that’s all. But there was a discount of $2, so he made his cart value above $20 and ordered a bunch of them and let them go to waste. 
  • Exaggerate things but do not make them up entirely , e.g., if a person often wears sleeveless, you can make it sound like it’s something they do all the time to intimidate people with their large muscles.
  • Purposely misunderstand them, e.g., if a restaurant asks for your number, be like, “sorry, I have a boyfriend.” [try at your own risk]

Don’t feel like you’re getting many ideas? That’s okay. Roasting can be unfamiliar territory to many of us. Take inspiration from others when you see it in person or through media. It’s there on movies, tv channels, and youtube videos. For an example:

Make sure your audience can understand you.

Speaking too fast can make it difficult. Speak at an even pace with pauses. If its 1-1, there is not much to worry about, but with a large group, it also needs to be sufficiently audible and well-paced.

Related: did you know that roasts are often a part of wedding toasts? If you’re interested to know more, check out this article on hilarious wedding toasts .

Be prepared to manage a failed roasting.

You can acknowledge when someone roasts you back very well, “Ooooh, that’s a good one.” It shows immense confidence and security in yourself. 

If the person has had no reaction, you can roast that as well, e.g., “Mate, are you getting so old that you do not even have the energy to laugh at my fantastic jokes?”

Roasting someone as well as dealing with a failed one, by all means, requires confidence. Here is an article on how to improve your confidence .

Avoid topics you know won’t be perceived as good humor.

Some topics, like death, religion, and appearance insecurities, are known to be quite sensitive ones for people to handle. It’s safer to steer clear of those unless you’re 100% it won’t offend the person. 

Keep in mind that no matter how much you try, you can still offend someone. So be prepared to take responsibility and apologize to that person. It doesn’t have to be about the joke, it’s about the life experience the joke touched for that person to get offended, and it’s our responsibility to make sure there is no harm as a result.

How to Roast Someone Professionally

While a light-hearted roast in professional settings could get you some chuckles, keep in mind that roasting at work can lead you to HR very quickly. Hence, caution is advisable.

A few occasions where it is okay to roast someone is between friends and partners, during farewell toasts and wedding toasts, etc.

If you do still choose to roast in a professional setting, be sure to keep it moderate. Do not be too insulting- keep it lighthearted. E.g., “I would allocate the task to John but he’s only going to be able to turn it in 365 days later so I will give it to Adam instead. ” If you keep it lighthearted, even if there is some room for misinterpretation, people would not take much offense.

Roasts that do hurt

Roasts that do hurt

While it tends to be considered playful, some boundaries must be considered when roasting people, depending on the situation, closeness, and how you expect the person to react. For instance, when done one-sidedly, it can quickly turn out to be perceived as bullying, even if that is not the intention. There should be a mutual understanding when choosing to roast someone.

Being straight-up mean is different from roasting. Apart from steering clear of the topics we discussed earlier, also make sure to notice if someone shows any signs of discomfort. If they’re anxious or offended, it can show in their voice (shaky or aggressive), body language (tensed up), and eye contact (looking away or glaring).

Related: article on appropriate eye contact .

Think how you would have felt in their position. If you have a planned roasting, it’s not a bad idea to ask someone’s opinion before going ahead. 

5 Most Savage Roasts

Here are some more examples of roasts. 

  • “Jim is cooking? You should have told me earlier! I would have bought firefighters and paramedics.”
  • “You’re hot, but the only thing you’re turning on is a microwave.”
  • “It’s 2023, maybe they can Photoshop personalities; you should try it.”
  • “I would slap you, but I am afraid I might catch fungi.”
  • “You’re exceptional, I will give you that. Everything except doing anything useful at all.”

What do you do when someone roasts you?

Roast them back, of course. It’s supposed to be reciprocal in the first place. E.g., someone insults you and calls you stupid. In response, “I could do worse. I could be you.” Most of the roasting back involves turning the attention back on the person who said it. E.g., “Why don’t you look at a mirror.” “I’m hearing a lot of yapping; not sure where the off button is.”

You could alternatively be so calm and unamused that their joke fails entirely. You could even play the self-deprecating card and later mix it with a roast on them. E.g., “Really? You think that was stupid? Perhaps. I can do worse, in fact. I can do you.” It’s all a matter of preference, but if you ask me, roasting back is the most fun and entertaining thing.

We considered the definition of roasting. Then we delved in-depth on the topic of how to roast people and especially how to find on what basis to roast them. We discussed various other considerations throughout the article when roasting someone and also presented a bunch of examples for you to refer to.

Roasting can involve public speaking too. Want to get better at it? Check out public speaking coaching .

Hrideep Barot

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How to write a speech that your audience remembers

Confident-woman-giving-a-conference-with-a-digital-presentation-how-to-give-a-speech

Whether in a work meeting or at an investor panel, you might give a speech at some point. And no matter how excited you are about the opportunity, the experience can be nerve-wracking . 

But feeling butterflies doesn’t mean you can’t give a great speech. With the proper preparation and a clear outline, apprehensive public speakers and natural wordsmiths alike can write and present a compelling message. Here’s how to write a good speech you’ll be proud to deliver.

What is good speech writing?

Good speech writing is the art of crafting words and ideas into a compelling, coherent, and memorable message that resonates with the audience. Here are some key elements of great speech writing:

  • It begins with clearly understanding the speech's purpose and the audience it seeks to engage. 
  • A well-written speech clearly conveys its central message, ensuring that the audience understands and retains the key points. 
  • It is structured thoughtfully, with a captivating opening, a well-organized body, and a conclusion that reinforces the main message. 
  • Good speech writing embraces the power of engaging content, weaving in stories, examples, and relatable anecdotes to connect with the audience on both intellectual and emotional levels. 

Ultimately, it is the combination of these elements, along with the authenticity and delivery of the speaker , that transforms words on a page into a powerful and impactful spoken narrative.

What makes a good speech?

A great speech includes several key qualities, but three fundamental elements make a speech truly effective:

Clarity and purpose

Remembering the audience, cohesive structure.

While other important factors make a speech a home run, these three elements are essential for writing an effective speech.

The main elements of a good speech

The main elements of a speech typically include:

  • Introduction: The introduction sets the stage for your speech and grabs the audience's attention. It should include a hook or attention-grabbing opening, introduce the topic, and provide an overview of what will be covered.
  • Opening/captivating statement: This is a strong statement that immediately engages the audience and creates curiosity about the speech topics.
  • Thesis statement/central idea: The thesis statement or central idea is a concise statement that summarizes the main point or argument of your speech. It serves as a roadmap for the audience to understand what your speech is about.
  • Body: The body of the speech is where you elaborate on your main points or arguments. Each point is typically supported by evidence, examples, statistics, or anecdotes. The body should be organized logically and coherently, with smooth transitions between the main points.
  • Supporting evidence: This includes facts, data, research findings, expert opinions, or personal stories that support and strengthen your main points. Well-chosen and credible evidence enhances the persuasive power of your speech.
  • Transitions: Transitions are phrases or statements that connect different parts of your speech, guiding the audience from one idea to the next. Effective transitions signal the shifts in topics or ideas and help maintain a smooth flow throughout the speech.
  • Counterarguments and rebuttals (if applicable): If your speech involves addressing opposing viewpoints or counterarguments, you should acknowledge and address them. Presenting counterarguments makes your speech more persuasive and demonstrates critical thinking.
  • Conclusion: The conclusion is the final part of your speech and should bring your message to a satisfying close. Summarize your main points, restate your thesis statement, and leave the audience with a memorable closing thought or call to action.
  • Closing statement: This is the final statement that leaves a lasting impression and reinforces the main message of your speech. It can be a call to action, a thought-provoking question, a powerful quote, or a memorable anecdote.
  • Delivery and presentation: How you deliver your speech is also an essential element to consider. Pay attention to your tone, body language, eye contact , voice modulation, and timing. Practice and rehearse your speech, and try using the 7-38-55 rule to ensure confident and effective delivery.

While the order and emphasis of these elements may vary depending on the type of speech and audience, these elements provide a framework for organizing and delivering a successful speech.

Man-holding-microphone-at-panel-while-talking--how-to-give-a-speech

How to structure a good speech

You know what message you want to transmit, who you’re delivering it to, and even how you want to say it. But you need to know how to start, develop, and close a speech before writing it. 

Think of a speech like an essay. It should have an introduction, conclusion, and body sections in between. This places ideas in a logical order that the audience can better understand and follow them. Learning how to make a speech with an outline gives your storytelling the scaffolding it needs to get its point across.

Here’s a general speech structure to guide your writing process:

  • Explanation 1
  • Explanation 2
  • Explanation 3

How to write a compelling speech opener

Some research shows that engaged audiences pay attention for only 15 to 20 minutes at a time. Other estimates are even lower, citing that people stop listening intently in fewer than 10 minutes . If you make a good first impression at the beginning of your speech, you have a better chance of interesting your audience through the middle when attention spans fade. 

Implementing the INTRO model can help grab and keep your audience’s attention as soon as you start speaking. This acronym stands for interest, need, timing, roadmap, and objectives, and it represents the key points you should hit in an opening. 

Here’s what to include for each of these points: 

  • Interest : Introduce yourself or your topic concisely and speak with confidence . Write a compelling opening statement using relevant data or an anecdote that the audience can relate to.
  • Needs : The audience is listening to you because they have something to learn. If you’re pitching a new app idea to a panel of investors, those potential partners want to discover more about your product and what they can earn from it. Read the room and gently remind them of the purpose of your speech. 
  • Timing : When appropriate, let your audience know how long you’ll speak. This lets listeners set expectations and keep tabs on their own attention span. If a weary audience member knows you’ll talk for 40 minutes, they can better manage their energy as that time goes on. 
  • Routemap : Give a brief overview of the three main points you’ll cover in your speech. If an audience member’s attention starts to drop off and they miss a few sentences, they can more easily get their bearings if they know the general outline of the presentation.
  • Objectives : Tell the audience what you hope to achieve, encouraging them to listen to the end for the payout. 

Writing the middle of a speech

The body of your speech is the most information-dense section. Facts, visual aids, PowerPoints — all this information meets an audience with a waning attention span. Sticking to the speech structure gives your message focus and keeps you from going off track, making everything you say as useful as possible.

Limit the middle of your speech to three points, and support them with no more than three explanations. Following this model organizes your thoughts and prevents you from offering more information than the audience can retain. 

Using this section of the speech to make your presentation interactive can add interest and engage your audience. Try including a video or demonstration to break the monotony. A quick poll or survey also keeps the audience on their toes. 

Wrapping the speech up

To you, restating your points at the end can feel repetitive and dull. You’ve practiced countless times and heard it all before. But repetition aids memory and learning , helping your audience retain what you’ve told them. Use your speech’s conclusion to summarize the main points with a few short sentences.

Try to end on a memorable note, like posing a motivational quote or a thoughtful question the audience can contemplate once they leave. In proposal or pitch-style speeches, consider landing on a call to action (CTA) that invites your audience to take the next step.

People-clapping-after-coworker-gave-a-speech-how-to-give-a-speech

How to write a good speech

If public speaking gives you the jitters, you’re not alone. Roughly 80% of the population feels nervous before giving a speech, and another 10% percent experiences intense anxiety and sometimes even panic. 

The fear of failure can cause procrastination and can cause you to put off your speechwriting process until the last minute. Finding the right words takes time and preparation, and if you’re already feeling nervous, starting from a blank page might seem even harder.

But putting in the effort despite your stress is worth it. Presenting a speech you worked hard on fosters authenticity and connects you to the subject matter, which can help your audience understand your points better. Human connection is all about honesty and vulnerability, and if you want to connect to the people you’re speaking to, they should see that in you.

1. Identify your objectives and target audience

Before diving into the writing process, find healthy coping strategies to help you stop worrying . Then you can define your speech’s purpose, think about your target audience, and start identifying your objectives. Here are some questions to ask yourself and ground your thinking : 

  • What purpose do I want my speech to achieve? 
  • What would it mean to me if I achieved the speech’s purpose?
  • What audience am I writing for? 
  • What do I know about my audience? 
  • What values do I want to transmit? 
  • If the audience remembers one take-home message, what should it be? 
  • What do I want my audience to feel, think, or do after I finish speaking? 
  • What parts of my message could be confusing and require further explanation?

2. Know your audience

Understanding your audience is crucial for tailoring your speech effectively. Consider the demographics of your audience, their interests, and their expectations. For instance, if you're addressing a group of healthcare professionals, you'll want to use medical terminology and data that resonate with them. Conversely, if your audience is a group of young students, you'd adjust your content to be more relatable to their experiences and interests. 

3. Choose a clear message

Your message should be the central idea that you want your audience to take away from your speech. Let's say you're giving a speech on climate change. Your clear message might be something like, "Individual actions can make a significant impact on mitigating climate change." Throughout your speech, all your points and examples should support this central message, reinforcing it for your audience.

4. Structure your speech

Organizing your speech properly keeps your audience engaged and helps them follow your ideas. The introduction should grab your audience's attention and introduce the topic. For example, if you're discussing space exploration, you could start with a fascinating fact about a recent space mission. In the body, you'd present your main points logically, such as the history of space exploration, its scientific significance, and future prospects. Finally, in the conclusion, you'd summarize your key points and reiterate the importance of space exploration in advancing human knowledge.

5. Use engaging content for clarity

Engaging content includes stories, anecdotes, statistics, and examples that illustrate your main points. For instance, if you're giving a speech about the importance of reading, you might share a personal story about how a particular book changed your perspective. You could also include statistics on the benefits of reading, such as improved cognitive abilities and empathy.

6. Maintain clarity and simplicity

It's essential to communicate your ideas clearly. Avoid using overly technical jargon or complex language that might confuse your audience. For example, if you're discussing a medical breakthrough with a non-medical audience, explain complex terms in simple, understandable language.

7. Practice and rehearse

Practice is key to delivering a great speech. Rehearse multiple times to refine your delivery, timing, and tone. Consider using a mirror or recording yourself to observe your body language and gestures. For instance, if you're giving a motivational speech, practice your gestures and expressions to convey enthusiasm and confidence.

8. Consider nonverbal communication

Your body language, tone of voice, and gestures should align with your message . If you're delivering a speech on leadership, maintain strong eye contact to convey authority and connection with your audience. A steady pace and varied tone can also enhance your speech's impact.

9. Engage your audience

Engaging your audience keeps them interested and attentive. Encourage interaction by asking thought-provoking questions or sharing relatable anecdotes. If you're giving a speech on teamwork, ask the audience to recall a time when teamwork led to a successful outcome, fostering engagement and connection.

10. Prepare for Q&A

Anticipate potential questions or objections your audience might have and prepare concise, well-informed responses. If you're delivering a speech on a controversial topic, such as healthcare reform, be ready to address common concerns, like the impact on healthcare costs or access to services, during the Q&A session.

By following these steps and incorporating examples that align with your specific speech topic and purpose, you can craft and deliver a compelling and impactful speech that resonates with your audience.

Woman-at-home-doing-research-in-her-laptop-how-to-give-a-speech

Tools for writing a great speech

There are several helpful tools available for speechwriting, both technological and communication-related. Here are a few examples:

  • Word processing software: Tools like Microsoft Word, Google Docs, or other word processors provide a user-friendly environment for writing and editing speeches. They offer features like spell-checking, grammar correction, formatting options, and easy revision tracking.
  • Presentation software: Software such as Microsoft PowerPoint or Google Slides is useful when creating visual aids to accompany your speech. These tools allow you to create engaging slideshows with text, images, charts, and videos to enhance your presentation.
  • Speechwriting Templates: Online platforms or software offer pre-designed templates specifically for speechwriting. These templates provide guidance on structuring your speech and may include prompts for different sections like introductions, main points, and conclusions.
  • Rhetorical devices and figures of speech: Rhetorical tools such as metaphors, similes, alliteration, and parallelism can add impact and persuasion to your speech. Resources like books, websites, or academic papers detailing various rhetorical devices can help you incorporate them effectively.
  • Speechwriting apps: Mobile apps designed specifically for speechwriting can be helpful in organizing your thoughts, creating outlines, and composing a speech. These apps often provide features like voice recording, note-taking, and virtual prompts to keep you on track.
  • Grammar and style checkers: Online tools or plugins like Grammarly or Hemingway Editor help improve the clarity and readability of your speech by checking for grammar, spelling, and style errors. They provide suggestions for sentence structure, word choice, and overall tone.
  • Thesaurus and dictionary: Online or offline resources such as thesauruses and dictionaries help expand your vocabulary and find alternative words or phrases to express your ideas more effectively. They can also clarify meanings or provide context for unfamiliar terms.
  • Online speechwriting communities: Joining online forums or communities focused on speechwriting can be beneficial for getting feedback, sharing ideas, and learning from experienced speechwriters. It's an opportunity to connect with like-minded individuals and improve your public speaking skills through collaboration.

Remember, while these tools can assist in the speechwriting process, it's essential to use them thoughtfully and adapt them to your specific needs and style. The most important aspect of speechwriting remains the creativity, authenticity, and connection with your audience that you bring to your speech.

Man-holding-microphone-while-speaking-in-public-how-to-give-a-speech

5 tips for writing a speech

Behind every great speech is an excellent idea and a speaker who refined it. But a successful speech is about more than the initial words on the page, and there are a few more things you can do to help it land.

Here are five more tips for writing and practicing your speech:

1. Structure first, write second

If you start the writing process before organizing your thoughts, you may have to re-order, cut, and scrap the sentences you worked hard on. Save yourself some time by using a speech structure, like the one above, to order your talking points first. This can also help you identify unclear points or moments that disrupt your flow.

2. Do your homework

Data strengthens your argument with a scientific edge. Research your topic with an eye for attention-grabbing statistics, or look for findings you can use to support each point. If you’re pitching a product or service, pull information from company metrics that demonstrate past or potential successes. 

Audience members will likely have questions, so learn all talking points inside and out. If you tell investors that your product will provide 12% returns, for example, come prepared with projections that support that statement.

3. Sound like yourself

Memorable speakers have distinct voices. Think of Martin Luther King Jr’s urgent, inspiring timbre or Oprah’s empathetic, personal tone . Establish your voice — one that aligns with your personality and values — and stick with it. If you’re a motivational speaker, keep your tone upbeat to inspire your audience . If you’re the CEO of a startup, try sounding assured but approachable. 

4. Practice

As you practice a speech, you become more confident , gain a better handle on the material, and learn the outline so well that unexpected questions are less likely to trip you up. Practice in front of a colleague or friend for honest feedback about what you could change, and speak in front of the mirror to tweak your nonverbal communication and body language .

5. Remember to breathe

When you’re stressed, you breathe more rapidly . It can be challenging to talk normally when you can’t regulate your breath. Before your presentation, try some mindful breathing exercises so that when the day comes, you already have strategies that will calm you down and remain present . This can also help you control your voice and avoid speaking too quickly.

How to ghostwrite a great speech for someone else

Ghostwriting a speech requires a unique set of skills, as you're essentially writing a piece that will be delivered by someone else. Here are some tips on how to effectively ghostwrite a speech:

  • Understand the speaker's voice and style : Begin by thoroughly understanding the speaker's personality, speaking style, and preferences. This includes their tone, humor, and any personal anecdotes they may want to include.
  • Interview the speaker : Have a detailed conversation with the speaker to gather information about their speech's purpose, target audience, key messages, and any specific points they want to emphasize. Ask for personal stories or examples they may want to include.
  • Research thoroughly : Research the topic to ensure you have a strong foundation of knowledge. This helps you craft a well-informed and credible speech.
  • Create an outline : Develop a clear outline that includes the introduction, main points, supporting evidence, and a conclusion. Share this outline with the speaker for their input and approval.
  • Write in the speaker's voice : While crafting the speech, maintain the speaker's voice and style. Use language and phrasing that feel natural to them. If they have a particular way of expressing ideas, incorporate that into the speech.
  • Craft a captivating opening : Begin the speech with a compelling opening that grabs the audience's attention. This could be a relevant quote, an interesting fact, a personal anecdote, or a thought-provoking question.
  • Organize content logically : Ensure the speech flows logically, with each point building on the previous one. Use transitions to guide the audience from one idea to the next smoothly.
  • Incorporate engaging stories and examples : Include anecdotes, stories, and real-life examples that illustrate key points and make the speech relatable and memorable.
  • Edit and revise : Edit the speech carefully for clarity, grammar, and coherence. Ensure the speech is the right length and aligns with the speaker's time constraints.
  • Seek feedback : Share drafts of the speech with the speaker for their feedback and revisions. They may have specific changes or additions they'd like to make.
  • Practice delivery : If possible, work with the speaker on their delivery. Practice the speech together, allowing the speaker to become familiar with the content and your writing style.
  • Maintain confidentiality : As a ghostwriter, it's essential to respect the confidentiality and anonymity of the work. Do not disclose that you wrote the speech unless you have the speaker's permission to do so.
  • Be flexible : Be open to making changes and revisions as per the speaker's preferences. Your goal is to make them look good and effectively convey their message.
  • Meet deadlines : Stick to agreed-upon deadlines for drafts and revisions. Punctuality and reliability are essential in ghostwriting.
  • Provide support : Support the speaker during their preparation and rehearsal process. This can include helping with cue cards, speech notes, or any other materials they need.

Remember that successful ghostwriting is about capturing the essence of the speaker while delivering a well-structured and engaging speech. Collaboration, communication, and adaptability are key to achieving this.

Give your best speech yet

Learn how to make a speech that’ll hold an audience’s attention by structuring your thoughts and practicing frequently. Put the effort into writing and preparing your content, and aim to improve your breathing, eye contact , and body language as you practice. The more you work on your speech, the more confident you’ll become.

The energy you invest in writing an effective speech will help your audience remember and connect to every concept. Remember: some life-changing philosophies have come from good speeches, so give your words a chance to resonate with others. You might even change their thinking.

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Elizabeth Perry, ACC

Elizabeth Perry is a Coach Community Manager at BetterUp. She uses strategic engagement strategies to cultivate a learning community across a global network of Coaches through in-person and virtual experiences, technology-enabled platforms, and strategic coaching industry partnerships. With over 3 years of coaching experience and a certification in transformative leadership and life coaching from Sofia University, Elizabeth leverages transpersonal psychology expertise to help coaches and clients gain awareness of their behavioral and thought patterns, discover their purpose and passions, and elevate their potential. She is a lifelong student of psychology, personal growth, and human potential as well as an ICF-certified ACC transpersonal life and leadership Coach.

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Module 11: Speaking to Entertain and for Special Occasions

Introduction to speeches about people: toasts, roasts, and eulogies.

A woman giving a eulogy in a church

Whether a toast, a roast, or a eulogy (as in this picture), special occasion speeches about people require thoughtfulness and preparation.

Toasts, roasts, and eulogies are public speaking situations that call for thoughtfulness and care. In each of these situations, you’re trying to honor someone close to you through your words, while creating an emotional connection to the crowd. You may be entertaining the crowd in an uproarious roast, creating a festive mood with a toast at a banquet, or comforting grieving family and friends with a heartfelt eulogy.  Knowing how to deliver speeches for each of these situations will serve you for a lifetime. We’ll cover how to properly craft a speech that is tailored for each of these circumstances so that you can rise to meet the occasion!

  • Eulogy. Authored by : Bahudhara. Located at : https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Victoria_Bannon_eulogy.JPG . License : CC BY-SA: Attribution-ShareAlike
  • Introduction to Speeches about People: Toasts, Roasts, and Eulogies. Authored by : Misti Wills with Lumen Learning. License : CC BY: Attribution

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how to make a good roast speech

20 Different Roasts for Someone at a Retirement Party

Ever attended a retirement party? That day can be one of the best moments to celebrate with colleagues, reminisce on great memories, share jokes, and throw harmless punchlines.

However, if you don’t know how to go about that, this article is for you, so you don’t have to worry.

Table of Contents

20 Different Roasts for Someone at a Retirement Party 

There are different ways to roast someone at a retirement party: by recalling old memories, remembering funny moments, and creating jokes about their failed attempt at something.

Now, it’s the time,” and “Wow! So you worked hard all these years to end up as what, a couch potato?”

What Do You Call Someone Who Loves Mondays? Retired

No one enjoys enjoying the weekend and having to wake early to resume Monday’s work. But, of course, with a retiree the case is different.

This line is an interesting roast line to start your roast speech at a retirement party. It’s sure to get everyone in an excited mood.

I Know Plenty of Jokes About Retired People. Sadly, None of Them Works  

This is a play on words that’ll surely get a good laugh from people present. You can use it to tease the person retiring, without offending anyone.

How Does a Retired Person Bids Farewell at Their Party? Goodbye, Tension, and Hi, Pension!

This joke makes fun of them by reminding them what they have always looked forward to. It’s a great play on words to set the mood at a retirement party.

It’s Sad You’re Leaving, Who’ll Cover up for Me Now Whenever I’m Late?

As I’ve earlier stated, one of the ways you can  make fun of someone  at a retirement party is by recalling some of the things they did while working.

Congratulations Mate, You’re Now a Full-time Husband to Your Wife

Congratulating them at a retirement party with these words is sure to get everyone in fits of laughter. This statement teases them about leaving their full-time job to become a full-time husband.

Congratulations, Mary, I Have Always Known How You’ve Longed to Do Nothing. Now, It’s the Time  

Another way you can roast someone at a retirement party is by teasing them for always looking forward to stopping work.

I’m Glad You’ll Finally Stop Lying About Your Age and Begin Lying Around the House  

While there are people who look forward to retiring early, there are people who lie about their age to keep them longer in the job.

It’s a Good Thing for You, Josh. I Can’t Imagine You Running Through That Door Anymore with a Badly Knotted Tie

Remember I had said you can perfectly roast a retired person by reminding them of some of the things they couldn’t do properly.

If your roastee never properly knotted a tie or came to work with a badly knotted tie on some occasion, a retirement party is the perfect time to call them out.

Now, You Don’t Have to Worry About Running Late Anymore. You Only Have Your Husband to Disturb 

This roast here is a crazy one-liner for a female retiree. 

It calls them out for always coming late to work. Also, reminding them that they only have their husband to disturb is a way of making fun of them for being a disturbance at work.

I Heard That Joshua Has Decided to Take Up Walking Now; From the Bedroom to the TV to the Couch and Back Again to the Bedroom 

Another funny way to tease someone at retirement is by making fun of the lack of serious activities they’re about to face.

We’re All Going to Miss Your Beautiful Smile, Afternoon Treats, and Complete Incapacity to Operate a Zoom App

This is another great line you can use to roast someone at a retirement party.

This is a hilarious statement that first begins with compliments. But, calling them out for their lack of knowledge of the Zoom app is a crazy one-liner they won’t forget in a hurry.

We’re Always Going to Miss Your Ability to Kill All the Happy Vibes by Just Entering a Room

Also, this one-liner is a sarcastic remark that’ll hit hard.

Now That Collins Is Retired, He Doesn’t Have to Worry About Wearing Pants Anymore 

Do you have that employee who doesn’t appreciate wearing pants? Their retirement get-together is the perfect time to embarrass them.

Sam Has Now Retired from Hearing the Boss Scream at Him and Will Resume Hearing the Wife’s Shouting. What a Wonderful twist!

This is another crazy one-liner for a male retiree. Nothing beats having no boss to answer to, or hearing shouts and commands every working day as a retiree.

However, you can remind them that it’s not all that rosy with this roast. So, tell your happy retired male worker that he still has a wife to answer to.

Wow! So You Worked Hard All These Years to End Up as What, a Couch Potato?

It makes fun of them and reminds them that they’re going home to spend most of their days on the couch. It’s a crazy thing they wouldn’t want to think about.

I’m Really Sorry for Your Loss Boss, You no Longer Have Anyone Call You Boss Again  

Now, this is a perfect roast line for your boss. If your boss is the one retiring, you can make fun of him by reminding him that he has no one to call him boss anymore.

Now, You Can Go Break That Alarm Clock as You’ve Always Wanted

Tell them they’re now free to break the clock, as they’ve always longed for. I bet they would think about it. 

Now, You’ve Got All the Time to Listen to Your Wife Whining. I Hope You Remember How to Cook too

It’s just like being a baby now; no job, no pressure, no pay.

This is another funny statement to make to roast a retiree at their party.

Now, You and a Cat Have Many Things in Common, Only That It Sleeps All Day While You Sleep Night and Day

Comparing a retiree to a cat is one humorous way to roast them at their get-together.

This statement doesn’t just compare them to a cat, it makes a cat look better than them, as it doesn’t sleep as much as they’d be doing as a retiree.

Final Words

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Master the art of roast beef: a simple guide for beginners

What To Know

  • Whether you’re a seasoned chef or a novice in the kitchen, this step-by-step tutorial will empower you to create a mouthwatering masterpiece that will impress your loved ones and ignite your passion for home cooking.
  • This resting period allows the juices to redistribute throughout the meat, resulting in a more tender and flavorful roast beef.
  • Each roast beef you create will be a testament to your culinary skills and a source of pride for your home cooking adventures.

Prepare to elevate your culinary repertoire with this comprehensive guide on how to make your own roast beef. Whether you’re a seasoned chef or a novice in the kitchen, this step-by- step tutorial will empower you to create a mouthwatering masterpiece that will impress your loved ones and ignite your passion for home cooking.

Selecting the Perfect Cut

The foundation of an exceptional roast beef lies in choosing the right cut of beef. Opt for a high-quality beef roast with good marbling , such as a prime rib, top sirloin, or tri-tip. These cuts offer a balance of tenderness and flavor that will yield a succulent and satisfying dish.

Seasoning with Precision

Once you have your cut of beef, it’s time to season it generously. A classic blend of salt, pepper, garlic powder , and rosemary complements the natural flavors of the beef. Rub the seasoning into the meat, ensuring even coverage to enhance its taste.

Roasting to Perfection

Preheat your oven to the appropriate temperature based on the size and cut of your beef. Place the roast on a wire rack set over a baking sheet to allow for even cooking. Roast the beef until it reaches an internal temperature of 125-135°F (52-57°C) for rare, 135-145°F (57-63°C) for medium-rare, 145-155°F (63-68°C) for medium, or 155-165°F (68-74°C) for medium-well.

Resting for Optimal Flavor

Once the roast has reached the desired internal temperature , remove it from the oven and let it rest for 20-30 minutes before carving. This resting period allows the juices to redistribute throughout the meat, resulting in a more tender and flavorful roast beef.

Slicing with Precision

Use a sharp carving knife to slice the roast beef against the grain. This technique ensures that the meat is tender and easy to chew. Arrange the slices on a serving platter and garnish with fresh herbs or roasted vegetables for a visually appealing presentation.

Accompanying Sauces and Sides

Enhance the flavor of your roast beef with a variety of sauces and sides. A classic horseradish sauce complements the richness of the meat, while a red wine jus adds a touch of elegance. Roasted potatoes, mashed cauliflower , or grilled vegetables provide a satisfying accompaniment to this culinary masterpiece.

Mastering the Art of Roast Beef

With practice and attention to detail, you’ ll master the art of making your own roast beef. Experiment with different seasonings, roasting techniques , and accompaniments to find your preferred combination . Each roast beef you create will be a testament to your culinary skills and a source of pride for your home cooking adventures.

Popular Questions

1. What is the best cut of beef for roast beef?

Prime rib, top sirloin , and tri-tip are excellent cuts for roast beef due to their marbling and tenderness.

2. How long should I roast the beef?

The roasting time depends on the size and cut of the beef. Use a meat thermometer to check the internal temperature and roast until it reaches the desired level of doneness.

3. Why is it important to let the roast beef rest before carving?

Resting allows the juices to redistribute throughout the meat, resulting in a more tender and flavorful roast beef.

4. What are some classic sauces to serve with roast beef?

Horseradish sauce and red wine jus are traditional accompaniments that complement the richness of the meat.

5. What are some suggested sides to serve with roast beef?

Roasted potatoes, mashed cauliflower , and grilled vegetables are popular and satisfying sides that pair well with roast beef.

Isabella Smith

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White House, SC State Senator comment on controversial “comedy roast” of VP Kamala Harris at USC

COLUMBIA, S.C. (WIS) - After news about a controversial event at the University of South Carolina (USC) gained national attention, several public figures have taken time to respond.

A campus student group called Uncensored America is planning to host a comedy roast of Democratic presidential nominee Vice President Kamala Harris on Sept. 18 at 7 p.m. Uncensored America describes itself as a non-partisan organization dedicated to fighting for freedom of speech.

The group has advertised the event on social media, noting that Milo Yiannopoulos, a political commentator, and Gavin McInnes, the founder of the Proud Boys, are expected to speak at the event at Russell House Ballroom.

In an exclusive interview with WIS News 10 , McInnes said the event “won’t exactly be like the classic roast you see in Comedy Central. We’re just going to make fun of what could be the worst president in American history.”

The group has advertised the event on social media, noting that Milo Yiannopoulos and Gavin...

Various stakeholders including alumni and other student organizations have stated their opposition to the event .

The NAACP has called on the university to cancel the roast saying, “if South Carolina University’s leadership values their Black students, it’s only right they shut this event down.”

A petition to get the event cancelled says the university’s decision “directly contradicts with [the Carolina] Creed and encourages the use of racism, homophobia, and sexism by a student led organization on campus.”

Karine Jean-Pierre, the White House Press Secretary, was asked for the Biden-Harris administration’s response to the controversy during a press briefing on Sept. 4.

“I’m not going to dive into the event,” said Jean-Pierre. “I don’t know much about it. But...I think we are very much all proud to have the Vice President as our Vice President and the work that we have seen her do with this President for the past three and a half years.”

State Senator Tameika Isaac-Devine wrote a letter to the university urging them to cancel the roast and spoke on the decision during an interview with CNN.

“I am encouraging the university to have another event that brings together the diverse groups that are opposed to this event and bring more attention to that,” said Sen. Isaac-Devine. “We need to silence what’s happening at this roast. Allowing people to use the university platform for that is not good. But having another platform that encourages not only people to come and vote and register, but to educate themselves and promote diversity is where we need to be going now.”

Sen. Isaac-Devine noted South Carolina is one of two states that does not have hate crime legislation and said during her interview she believes the controversy surrounding the roast could be “a long-term opportunity to promote diversity.”

The university responded to the public outcry by arguing it is within their students’ First Amendment rights to host the event, “even when we may be offended by their choices and statements,” according to a statement from University of South Carolina President Michael Amiridis.

“Censoring even the most hateful individuals and groups does not solve the problems we face in our society and instead provides them with a platform to win more publicity and support, because their message was silenced,” the statement reads. “As Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis wrote almost a century ago in a vigorous defense of free speech, the solution to fighting offensive speech is ‘more speech, not enforced silence.’”

The statement added they were aware of “troubling and offensive things” the speakers have said in the past and respond by “denounc[ing] hate and bigotry” and “condemn[ing] the vile and juvenile rhetoric used to promote this event.”

Feel more informed, prepared, and connected with WIS. For more free content like this, subscribe to our email newsletter , and download our apps . Have feedback that can help us improve? Click here .

Copyright 2024 WIS. All rights reserved.

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how to make a good roast speech

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how to make a good roast speech

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"Cooking for Kamala": How the Harris-Walz campaign is winning over America’s chefs

More than 60 celebrity chefs and culinary luminaries voiced their support for harris in a recent campaign event, by ashlie d. stevens.

When chef Meherwan Irani , a James Beard Award winner, envisions a White House led by Kamala Harris, he imagines something as distinct as the aroma of spices — cardamom, ginger, and a whisper of clove — drifting from the presidential kitchen. Should Harris be elected, she would be the first South Asian American to reside in the executive mansion, and her intimate understanding of Indian cuisine may well leave a mark on what emerges from its kitchens. “If she’s in the White House, let there be samosas and let the chai flow freely,” Irani mused.

Irani was among more than 60 chefs and culinary luminaries — including Tom Colicchio, Carla Hall, José Andrés , Cat Cora and Gail Simmons — who joined forces in late August for “ Cooking for Kamala ,” a virtual event organized by California Congressman Eric Swalwell, a close friend of Harris. Billed as an online gathering of “the best chefs in the world,” the livestream aimed to highlight Harris’s campaign while also celebrating food.

Amid lighthearted nods to the culinary moments that have already defined the Harris-Walz campaign — from chef Susan Feniger’s play on Tim Walz’s “white guy tacos” to her “ Straight from the Coconut Tree ” cookies — the event struck a more serious tone when food writer Ruth Reichl shared her thoughts. “People who care about food have been waiting our whole lives to have someone who is a cook in the White House,” she said.

While chefs, like any professional group, are far from monolithic in their political views, there is a notable resonance between the culinary world and the Harris-Walz ticket. The question is: Why? What has turned this campaign into one that not only courts chefs but seems to capture their enthusiasm in a way that other campaigns have not?

One of the campaign’s most compelling appeals to the culinary world is its alignment with key issues that resonate deeply within the industry: hunger , immigration , labor rights and food prices .

On the issue of hunger, Harris has long been an advocate for expanding food access . In 2020, as the pandemic upended the economy, Harris, alongside Senators Elizabeth Warren, Mazie Hirono, and Christopher Murphy, pressed then-Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue to reconsider the blanket rejection of state waiver requests aimed at preserving college students' eligibility for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) after losing their jobs due to COVID-19.

A month later, in May 2020, Harris co-sponsored the Closing the Meal Gap Act , which sought to bolster SNAP benefits during the pandemic. “We are in the midst of a historic economic crisis — people are hurting,” Harris wrote. “They are struggling to put food on the table, and existing nutrition benefits don't get people through the end of the month... No one in America should ever go hungry, especially during a public health crisis.”

Her efforts — and the efforts of her husband, Doug Emhoff — have not gone unnoticed by chefs. “I want to give a shout-out to the second gentleman, soon to be the first gentleman,” said longtime “Top Chef” judge Tom Colicchio during the “Cooking for Kamala” event. “He has made one of his platforms to end hunger in this country. We can do that. Chefs really care about this issue.”

Tim Walz, Harris’s running mate, has also drawn attention from the food community for his leadership in Minnesota. As governor, Walz signed legislation making his state the fourth in the nation to provide free breakfast and lunch to students. “This is one piece of the puzzle in reducing both childhood poverty and food insecurity,” Walz remarked when discussing the new law.

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During the livestream, Chef José Andrés summed up the sentiment of many in the culinary world: “When you have a leader who understands the power of feeding one another — that’s real power. That’s the power to build longer tables.”

While some participants in the “Cooking for Kamala” event tend to keep a lower political profile ( Giada De Laurentiis , who endorsed Harris during the call, comes to mind), chef José Andrés has long been an outspoken critic of Harris’s opponent, former President Donald Trump, primarily in response to Trump’s inflammatory comments about immigrants.

Immigrants play a pivotal role in the American food system, from the fields to the kitchen. According to the National Restaurant Association, approximately 23% of restaurant workers are foreign-born , as are nearly half of the nation’s farm laborers.

Trump’s campaign launch in 2015 marked a turning point for many in the food world. In his speech, Trump described Mexican immigrants in incendiary terms: “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending people that have lots of problems... They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists, and some, I assume, are good people.”

"When you have a leader who understands the power of feeding one another — that’s real power. That’s the power to build longer tables."

For Andrés, who emigrated from Spain and became a U.S. citizen, these remarks were intolerable. He withdrew his planned restaurant from Trump’s Washington, D.C., hotel , stating: “Donald Trump's recent statements disparaging immigrants make it impossible for my company and I to move forward. More than half of my team is Hispanic, as are many of our guests. And, as a proud Spanish immigrant and recently naturalized American citizen myself, I believe that every human being deserves respect, regardless of immigration status.”

Harris’s own story, as the daughter of immigrants from Jamaica and India, resonates with many in the food industry, including chef Marcus Samuelsson, who called into “Cooking for Kamala” from Miami. “Just by being an immigrant... listening to Kamala’s story and her mother’s and her parents’ stories, for me, it’s personal and very inspirational,” Samuelsson said.

Meanwhile, labor advocates within the food sector have voiced strong support for Kamala Harris’s potential presidential campaign, with United Farm Workers (UFW) president Teresa Romero leading the charge. In a recent statement, Romero praised the Biden-Harris administration for championing farm workers’ rights, highlighting their efforts to strengthen union protections, secure COVID-19 relief for undocumented workers, and propose federal standards to protect laborers from extreme heat.

“The Biden-Harris administration has worked tirelessly on behalf of farm workers,” Romero said, describing Biden as “the greatest the United Farm Workers has had in the Oval Office.” Now, the UFW is endorsing Harris as the “best leader to defeat Donald Trump” and continue the administration’s work. Romero underscored Harris’s long-standing relationship with the UFW, from joining farm worker marches to supporting legislative efforts aimed at protecting wages.

"Listening to Kamala’s story and her mother’s and her parents’ stories, for me, it’s personal and very inspirational."

Off the farm, Harris’s broader labor record presents a more complex picture. In 2019, she joined striking McDonald’s workers to advocate for a $15 minimum wage — though her decision not to overrule the Senate parliamentarian on a provision to raise the minimum wage during COVID-19 relief negotiations frustrated some progressives. Still, Harris’s support for unions has been a consistent theme in her political career, which could help her gain further backing from service workers. 

Plus, there’s also the fact that Harris herself has worked in the minimum-wage service industry; Harris' campaign says the nominee worked at a McDonald's in California in 1983 (though the Trump campaign is apparently asking for proof ). 

Beyond policies, part of Harris’ appeal to chefs is, of course, the fact that she is actually a pretty great cook. In her short-lived YouTube series “Cooking with Kamala,” the vice president cooked alongside celebrities and cultural figures like Mindy Kaling, who joined Harris to make masala dosa, and former First Lady Michelle Obama, who prepared a family recipe while discussing public health and nutrition. 

Her roast chicken technique has gone viral, as has her collard greens recipe , which she makes using sliced garlic, chili peppers, a lot of water, some chicken stock, vinegar and Tabasco. The real secret, though, is rendered bacon fat, which is unsurprising since Harris has said before she thinks “bacon is a spice.” 

While not everyone on the “Cooking for Kamala” call agreed with that assertion (longtime “ Top Chef” host Padma Lakshmi , who co-hosted the event, said she was “doubtful”), everyone seemed to agree the Harris-Walz ticket was better than the alternative. After all, some normalcy seems to be what everyone is craving. 

about this topic

  • The simple reason why Kamala Harris has Donald Trump running scared
  • Joe Biden demonstrates the meaning of unity: The president drops out so Kamala Harris can step up
  • "She was a DEI hire": Right-wingers slammed for responding to Kamala Harris with racism and misogyny

Ashlie D. Stevens is Salon's food editor. She is also an award-winning radio producer, editor and features writer — with a special emphasis on food, culture and subculture. Her writing has appeared in and on The Atlantic, National Geographic’s “The Plate,” Eater, VICE, Slate, Salon, The Bitter Southerner and Chicago Magazine, while her audio work has appeared on NPR’s All Things Considered and Here & Now, as well as APM’s Marketplace. She is based in Chicago.

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how to make a good roast speech

IMAGES

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COMMENTS

  1. 155 Good Roasts That Burn So Bad

    155 Good Roasts That Burn So Bad - Best Life

  2. How to Write a Roast Speech

    Always Be Gracious. Judge your honoree's demeanor as you give your speech. Also note the audience's response to your jokes. Recognize if either look uncomfortable and realize if you've gone too far. Cut back if that's the case. A nice touch would be to have the speech printed and bound in a folder and present it to the roastee at the end of the ...

  3. How to Write a Roast

    How to Write a Roast

  4. Hungry for Humorous Speeches? Try a Roast

    Here is a brief outline of How to Give a Roast Speech. The following tips on roast speeches is based upon the legendary Milton Berle's own advice which I've cribbed from one of his joke books. 1. Choose someone worthy - Berle advises that "the bigger the face you can make blush, the higher the gate receipts".

  5. 125 Good Roasts To Serve the Ultimate Burn

    125 Good Roasts To Serve the Ultimate Burn - Parade

  6. How to Give a Roast

    Handling Challenges and Tips for Success. Handle hecklers calmly and confidently, approach sensitive topics with caution and respect, practice and rehearse your speech multiple times, enjoy the moment and embrace the energy of the event, show appreciation to the individual being roasted, follow up afterwards.

  7. Roasts

    Roasts | Public Speaking

  8. How to Write a Roast to Honor Someone and Have Fun

    We wish you all the best in your retirement, and we promise not to miss you too much (okay, maybe just a little). Cheers to you, Sarah!". 5. Wrapping Up: As the roast comes to a close, take a moment to thank the honoree for being such a good sport and allowing everyone to poke fun at them in the name of celebration.

  9. How to Write a Roast Speech for Someone's Retirement

    Need to write a roast speech for somebody's retirement party? We've got you covered. Learn how to write a side-splitting speech that still sounds fond here.

  10. Types of Speeches: The Roast

    The Persuasive Speech. The Impromptu Speech. The Acceptance Speech. The Commencement Speech. The Eulogy. The Toast. The next post in this series is The Interpretive Reading. Supercompetent Key 1: Activity - Activity Demonstrates Value and Reflects Importance.

  11. How To Write And Perform A Comedy Roast

    A roast is a performance and you need to be stage ready. The whole point of the roast is to make people laugh, and in order to do so you need to feel comfortable and confident performing your material. You may want to practice performing in front of a mirror a few times before you do it for real so you can spot what you might be doing wrong.

  12. How to Roast Your Friend Just Enough That They'll Want to Remain Your

    Remember the universally acknowledged foundation of any good comedy: research! In leading the humor team at the speechwriting firm West Wing Writers, every so often we get tasked with scripting a full event script for a roast—writing remarks for all the speakers, including the roastee of the evening.

  13. Roastmaster

    Design personalized roast speeches with a mix of satire and humor, ideal for roasts, toasts, and comedic performances. Person being roasted. Your relationship to them. Career & Hobbies (optional) Clothing, hairstyle, etc (optional) Characteristic Quirks (optional) Other Stories or Directions (Optional) Style. Write a Roast.

  14. Roast Speech Tips

    Roast Speech Tips. There is an art to a good roast speech, and we have perfected it! It is slow, turns well and keeps the juices flowing. It is just the right temperature, light hearted and never over the top. Its flavors are full of fun but emanate respect and fondness. Whatever you particular occasion or subject, your roast speech can be ...

  15. 160+ Good Roasts & Comebacks to Make Everyone Laugh

    Throw out a rhyming roast to elevate your insult game. If you want to win the title of roast master, pull out your paper and pen and start scheming. Replace the words in a common nursery rhyme, or get creative and come up with your own rhyming insult. Think of it as writing a rhyming poem and use the following options for inspiration:

  16. Roast of an Individual

    Roast of an Individual. Prepare a five-minute speech in which you roast a friend, family member, coach, or teacher. A roast can be a great way to spice up a retirement party, birthday party, a graduation party, or even a farewell dinner, so any of these occasions would be an appropriate frame for your speech. Remember, writing a roast speech is ...

  17. How to Roast Someone: 19 Tips to Keep It Funny & Smart

    How to Roast Someone: 19 Tips to Keep It Funny & Smart

  18. How to Give an Awesome Toast: Advanced Strategies for Speeches

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  19. How to write a good speech [7 easily followed steps]

    How to write a good speech [7 easily followed steps]

  20. How to Effectively Roast People (Without ACTUALLY Hurting Them)

    Most of the roasting back involves turning the attention back on the person who said it. E.g., "Why don't you look at a mirror." "I'm hearing a lot of yapping; not sure where the off button is.". You could alternatively be so calm and unamused that their joke fails entirely.

  21. How to Write a Good Speech: 10 Steps and Tips

    How to Write a Good Speech: 10 Steps and Tips

  22. Introduction to Speeches about People: Toasts, Roasts, and Eulogies

    Toasts, roasts, and eulogies are public speaking situations that call for thoughtfulness and care. In each of these situations, you're trying to honor someone close to you through your words, while creating an emotional connection to the crowd. You may be entertaining the crowd in an uproarious roast, creating a festive mood with a toast at a ...

  23. 20 Different Roasts for Someone at a Retirement Party

    Another good opening speech at a retirement party you can use to roast a retiree is this great one-liner. This is a play on words that'll surely get a good laugh from people present. You can use it to tease the person retiring, without offending anyone. ... This is another funny statement to make to roast a retiree at their party.

  24. Master the art of roast beef: a simple guide for beginners

    Roasting to Perfection. Preheat your oven to the appropriate temperature based on the size and cut of your beef. Place the roast on a wire rack set over a baking sheet to allow for even cooking. Roast the beef until it reaches an internal temperature of 125-135°F (52-57°C) for rare, 135-145°F (57-63°C) for medium-rare, 145-155°F (63-68°C) for medium, or 155-165°F (68-74°C) for medium-well.

  25. White House, SC State Senator respond to controversial comedy roast of

    COLUMBIA, S.C. (WIS) - After news about a controversial event at the University of South Carolina (USC) gained national attention, several public figures have taken time to respond.. A campus ...

  26. "Cooking for Kamala": How the Harris-Walz campaign is winning over

    Off the farm, Harris's broader labor record presents a more complex picture. In 2019, she joined striking McDonald's workers to advocate for a $15 minimum wage — though her decision not to ...