Essay Examples 20 Personal Statement Examples That Stand Out + Why They Work

Essay Examples: Writing Your Personal Statement Essay

This is your ultimate list of Personal Statement examples.

In this post, you'll learn:

  • What makes a successful Personal Statement
  • How to write an irresistible Personal Statement
  • Ivy League personal essay examples

If you're looking to read and write Personal Statement essays, you've found the right place.

Ryan

In this post, I'm going to share everything you need to go from zero to having a Personal Statement essay you can be proud of.

This guide will help you get started writing an engaging Personal Statement essay. Or if you already have one, how to make it even better.

What is a Personal Statement Essay?

A personal statement, also called a statement of purpose (SOP) or personal essay, is a piece of creative, personal writing.

The purpose of your personal statement is to express yourself and your ideas. Personal statements usually aren't piece of formal writing, but still should be thoughtful and planned out.

Many applications for colleges, graduate schools, and scholarships require you to write a personal statement.

How to Write a Personal Statement Essay

While there are no rules or guidelines for writing a personal statement, the best ones often have these in common:

Have Strong Ideas:

Having compelling and interesting ideas shows you are a strong thinker.

It isn't necessarily about having all the answers, but asking the right questions.

For personal statement essays, the quality of your ideas matters more than your writing level. Writing interestingly is more important than writing beautifully.

I’ve stopped tripping over my own feet, and it’s led to me not being afraid to connect and interact with patients and customers or present in front of large crowds. Life is just one long Carioca – you might stumble at first, but if you keep pushing, the right feet will find themselves in the right place. From an accepted essay to UNC at Chapel Hill →

Be Authentic

Writing authentic essays means writing from the heart.

The best personal statements tend to come naturally, because the writer is excited about the topic.

Choose an idea that makes you feel excited to write about and start writing.

As you begin drafting, ideas will naturally arise related to your original idea. Exploring these tangential ideas is what leads to even better reflections for your essay.

That's why it's so important to be genuinely passionate about your subject. You can't just have an interest "in the topic," but there has to be something deeper you're writing about that moves you.

Use Narratives and Story-Telling:

Humans are naturally drawn to stories.

And often the best insights and ideas come from real life experiences.

Telling a story, or many, is the basis for developing your analysis and ideas. Remember, all stories need conflict in order to work.

It can help to think about the different types of conflict.

  • Character vs. Self
  • Character vs. Character
  • Character vs. Nature
  • Character vs. Society

And so on...

Once you've written a meaningful story, getting insights is as simple as answering the question: What did your experiences teach you?

The sounds of my knife striking kale unnerves my cat asleep in the corner. He quickly runs over to examine the situation but becomes instantly uninterested when he sees green and smells bitterness. Unfortunately, my family has this same reaction every day of every week. From an accepted essay to University of Southern California →

Showcase Your Values and Identity:

The purpose of a personal statement is to tell about who you are.

Personal statements are your opportunity to showcase what your values are, and how you would contribute to the school, scholarship opportunity, etc.

Good writers are those who write authentically. Write about your unique ideas and ask interesting questions, even if you don't know the answers.

How Long Should a Personal Statement Be?

A typical personal statement can range in length from 500 to 650 words or more.

For applying to colleges, the Common Application essay personal statement has a word limit of 650 words.

For graduate school programs, the application essay will vary in length, but most schools require a personal statement essay of at least 500 words.

20 Personal Statement Essays That Worked

It can be difficult to understand what makes a great essay without seeing some for yourself.

Here's 20 of our favorite personal statement essays that we've chosen for being unique and high-quality.

There essays were all accepted into some of the most selective schools. And while it isn't the only factor in admissions that matters, having outstanding essays can help tip the scales in your favor.

Table of Contents

Prompt: Background, Identity, or Interest

  • 1. Uncomfortable Truths
  • 2. Romanian Heritage
  • 3. Film and Theater
  • 4. Person of the Woods
  • 5. Beautiful Walks

Prompt: Lessons from Obstacles

  • 6. My Father
  • 7. Self-Determination
  • 8. Game Design Music
  • 9. Speech and Debate

Prompt: Questioned or Challenged a Belief

  • 10. Finding Answers

Prompt: Accomplishment, Event, or Realization

  • 11. Connecting with Others
  • 12. Summer Confidence
  • 13. First Impressions
  • 14. Law Career
  • 15. Growing Up Asian

Prompt: Engaging Topic, Idea, or Concept

  • 16. Secrets of Riddles
  • 17. Rubik's Cube
  • 18. Narrative Diversity

Prompt: Any Topic of Your Choice

  • 19. Search for Dreams
  • 20. Recipe for Success

Personal Statement Example #1: Uncomfortable Truths

Personal Statement Example #1: Uncomfortable Truths

This is a personal statement that worked for Princeton . It is outstanding for many reasons, but most of all because of its ideas and the thoughtfulness put into organizing them.

Common App Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)

Why This Essay Works:

Having a unifying idea is key to successful personal statements. Find your deepest idea or realization and focus your essay around that.

Find a way to showcase your achievements while connecting to broader, more universal ideas.

Connecting your ending to your beginning is a powerful way to bring your essay full circle. A great conclusion expands on your ideas introduced earlier, while leaving some room for more to be said.

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Personal Statement Example #2: Film and Theater

This student's essay was accepted to USC , among other top schools. It's topic is seemingly simple—taking walks—but the author brilliantly shows how even in the mundane there can be meaningful reflections.

This essay has lots of moments where the author's character comes across vividly. By using conversational language and interjections like "I want to—no, need—to...", the author has a clear "voice" and you can easily imagine them as if they were speaking directly to you. This student also showcases self-awareness and a sense of humor, by using slightly self-deprecating phrases like "some chubby, nerdy girl" and by recognizing how the social approval of sitting with the "popular girls" was enthralling at the time. Self-awareness is a highly valuable trait to portray, because it shows that you're able to reflect on both your strengths and weaknesses, which is a skill needed to be able to grow and develop.

This author manages to tie in their activity of producing films and reference them specifically ("Cardboard Castles") by connecting them to their main point. Instead of listing their activities or referencing them out-of-the-blue, they show how these accomplishments are perfect examples of a greater message. In this case, that message is how meaningful it is to connect with others through storytelling. To write about your activities and achievements without seeming arbitrary or boastful, make them have a specific purpose in your essay: connect to a value, idea, or use them as examples to show something.

In the intro of this essay, there are some descriptions that seem fiction-like and are ultimately unimportant to the main idea. Sentences that describe Mrs. Brewer's appearance or phrases describing how their teacher stood up after talking to them ultimately don't contribute to the story. Although these provide "context," the only context that admissions are interested in is context and details which have a purpose. Avoid writing like fiction books, which describe all the characters and settings, and instead only describe exactly what is needed to "go somewhere" in your essay.

What They Might Improve:

This essay has a strong hook which captivates the reader by making them ask a question: "What are these lunch-time horror stories?" By sparking the reader's imagination early on, you can draw them into your writing and be more engaged. However, ultimately this is somewhat of a letdown because these intriguing "lunch-time horror stories" are never described. Although it may not be completely necessary for the main point, describing one example or hinting at it more closely would be satisfying for the reader and still connect to the main idea of storytelling. One idea is to replace the conclusion with a reference to these "lunch-time horror stories" more vividly, which would be a satisfying ending that also could connect to filmmaking and storytelling. In general, anticipate what the reader will be looking for, and either use that expectation to your advantage by subverting it, or give them what they want as a satisfying, meaningful conclusion.

Although this conclusion could work as is, it could be stronger by seeming less arbitrary and less "fancy for fancy sake." Often, a good strategy is to connect your conclusion to something earlier in your essay such as your introduction or specific wording that you used throughout. In this essay, it could work much better to end by revealing one of those "lunch-time horror stories" in a way that also emphasizes their main point: how storytelling is a powerful tool to connect people.

Personal Statement Example #3: Romanian Heritage

Personal Statement Example #3: Romanian Heritage

This personal statement worked for UMichigan , among many other top schools like MIT, Rice, UNC at Chapel Hill , University of Pittsburgh, UW Madison, and more.

This author is able to vividly bring you into their world using cultural references and descriptive writing. You can practically taste and smell Buni's kitchen through her words.

This essay starts off by posing a challenge, which is typical of essays. But rather than showing how they overcame this particular challenge of speaking Romanian without an accent, this reader shows how something unexpected—baking—came to satisfy what was missing all along. By the end, this creates a conclusion that is both surprising, connected to the beginning, and makes perfect sense once you've read it. In other words, the conclusion is inevitable, but also surprising in content.

This student uses Romanian words to help exemplify the culture and language. If you're writing about a culture, using foreign language words can be a compelling way of adding depth to your essay. By including specific terms like "muni" and "cornulete," it shows a depth of knowledge which cannot be faked. Always use specific, tangible language where possible, because it is "evidence" that you know what you're talking about.

This student exhibits strong self-awareness by noting characteristics about themself, even some which may not be the most glamorous ("can be overbearing at times, stubborn in the face of offered help"). Rather than telling the reader flat out about these personal attributes, they are able to discuss them by connecting to another person—their grandmother Buni. Using another person to showcase your own character (through comparison or contrast) is a literary "foil," which can be an effective way of showing your character without stating it outright, which generally is boring and less convincing.

This student doesn't focus on surface-level ideas like "how they got better at speaking Romanian." Instead, they reflect in a creative way by connecting the Romanian language to baking. Revealing unseen connections between topics is a great way to show that you're a thoughtful and clever thinker. Ultimately, having unique ideas that are specific to you is what will create a compelling essay, and this essay is a perfect example of what that could look like.

Personal Statement Example #4: Person of the Woods

Personal Statement Example #4: Person of the Woods

This essay was accepted into Dartmouth College . It is a brilliant example of showing how any experience, even those which originally may have been unpleasant, can be the topic of meaningful reflection.

Using visuals, like descriptions of scenarios and environments, can help bring the reader into your world. However, make sure that all of your descriptions are relevant to your main point, or else they could be distracting. For example, in this essay it would be unnecessary to describe what they're wearing or the appearance of canoes, but it makes sense to describe the nature as it relates to the main topic.

People are not isolated units. Instead, everyone depends on and is defined by those around them. By showing how you relate and connect with other people, you can provide insights into your character. In this essay, the student does a great job of delving into their strong friendships, particularly what they've learned from their friends.

Admissions officers love to see self-growth. Showing how your perspective on something has changed (in this case, how they went from disliking to loving an activity) conveys a development of your character. Ask yourself: what preconceived notions did I have before, and how did they change? This student reflects in a humble way, by first emphasizing what they've learned from others, before offering up what they might have contributed themselves. Always try to have a tone of gratitude in your essays because it makes you more likeable and shows strong character.

Personal Statement Example #5: Beautiful Walks

Personal Statement Example #5: Beautiful Walks

Personal Statement Example #6: My Father's Death

Personal Statement Example #6: My Father's Death

This personal statement was admitted to Michigan in recent years. It is an outstanding example of how you can write about topics that are often cliché if done poorly, such as the death of a family member.

But unlike other essays, this one works because it has a unique take and genuine approach to the topic that makes it come off as heartfelt.

Common App Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)

Writing about a tragedy like a loss of a parent is a tricky topic for college essays. Many students feel obligated to choose that topic if it applies to them, but it can be challenging to not come across as trying to garner sympathy ("sob story"). This student does a graceful job of focusing on positive elements from their father's legacy, particularly the inspiration they draw from him.

This student does a great job of connecting their educational and career aspirations to their background. Admissions officers want to understand why you're pursing what you are, and by explaining the origin of your interests, you can have compelling and genuine reasons why.

In this essay, the student writes from their hypothetical perspective as an infant. This doesn't quite work because they likely wouldn't remember these moments ("I have no conscious memories of him"), but still writes as though they do. By writing about things you haven't seen or experienced yourself, it can come across as "made up" or inauthentic.

Personal Statement Example #7: Self-Determination

Personal Statement Example #7: Self-Determination

Some of the best essay topics are dealing with challenges you've faced, because difficulties make it easier to reflect upon what you've learned. Admissions officers ultimately are looking for self-growth, and showing how you've handled personal challenges can demonstrate your new understandings as a result. However, avoid talking about "tragedy" or difficulty without a clear purpose. Don't write about it because you think "you should," only write about challenges if they are true to yourself and you have something meaningful and unique to say about them. Otherwise, it can come off as trying to garner sympathy (i.e. "sob stories") which admissions officers generally dislike.

More convincing than telling admissions officers, is presenting them with "evidence" and allowing them to come to the conclusion themselves. If you want to show the idea "I couldn't learn due to this condition," it is far more effective to do what this student did and say, "I'd just finished learning complex trig identities, and I now couldn't even count to ten." When drafting, it is normal and okay to start off with more "telling" as you get your ideas on paper. But as your essay progresses, you should transform those moments of "telling" into more powerful and convincing moments of "showing."

Having meaningful reflections is a critical part of having compelling essays. But make sure your takeaways are not surface-level or generic. Each admissions officer has likely read thousands of essays, so they are well aware of the common ideas and tropes. Avoid cliché ideas at all costs, because it comes across as forgettable and unoriginal. Instead, it is okay to start with surface-level ideas, but keep asking yourself probing questions like "Why" and "How" to push your ideas deeper.

This essay tells a nice story of overcoming their physical impediment, but ultimately lacks meaningful reflections in the conclusion. Too much time is spent on "the problem" and not enough on how they overcame it. Your conclusion should have your best, most compelling ideas in your entire essay. Try ending your essay by connecting to the beginning with a new perspective, expanding on your idea with a new takeaway, or connecting to broader, more universal themes. Avoid having a conclusion that "sounds nice," but ultimately is lacking in meaningful content.

Personal Statement Example #8: Game Design Music

Personal Statement Example #8: Game Design Music

This essay was admitted into Cornell University . It discusses a common conflict of ideology that comes with pursuing the arts. What the author does brilliantly is show how that conflict was reconciled, as well as how it changed their perspective.

My mom used to tell me this a lot. She’d always disapproved of my passion for the arts.

In this essay, the author does a fantastic job of showing how they are thoughtful in considering the perspectives of others, even though they may disagree. Showing that you can entertain ideas that you may disagree with is an admirable trait that admissions officers love to see, because intellectual discussion is all about trying to see other people's views. When writing about things that you may disagree with, try to play devil's advocate and see things from their point of view. Doing so will make you come off as thoughtful, understanding, and inquisitive, and it will strengthen your own viewpoint if you can identify arguments against it.

The best essays help admissions officers understand how you think about things. One strategy is to offer up questions to explore. These can be questions that arose during a particular moment or questions that you're reflecting upon right now. By using questions in your essay, you'll also present yourself as a thoughtful and curious thinker. Ultimately, you want to help the reader see things from your perspective by showing your thought process.

A good starting place for reflection can be in comparing and contrasting different topics. This could finding the similarities and differences in an extracurricular and an academic class, or any other number of things. By finding the similarities in things often thought of as "opposing," or finding the differences in things thought of as "similar," you can get to interesting ideas. Comparisons are useful because they force you to think from a different viewpoint. For example in this essay: How does "programming" relate to "song lyrics"?

This essay ends on a note that feels somewhat off-topic and not as interesting as their main idea. The conclusion leaves more to be wanted, as the reader ends up thinking: Are you simply seeking the approval of your parents? Or are you carving your own path in life? Or does the answer lie somewhere in between? Avoid ending your essay with a tangential idea. Instead, a strong conclusion is often closely related to the main point of your essay, but with a slight twist. By planning out your essay before writing, you can make sure that each point (from start to finish) connects the way you want it to and that your conclusion ends on a strong, well-connected note.

Personal Statement Example #9: Speech and Debate

Personal Statement Example #9: Speech and Debate

I was still high off the competition, poring over ballots by the soft streetlights as we drove. “Are you sure you want to do this?” My Dad was worried about me. Worried about my world crashing down around me, losing friends, being crushed by hate. Scarred by controversy. I laughed it off, and we rode in silence.

Fast forward to my second or third year in the league. I wanted to have some fun. I emailed the regional coordinator, asking if there’s a rule against a speech advocating for same-sex marriage.

This essay has lots of interesting ideas about having discussions between people of different viewpoints. This student is able to reflect sincerely about what the benefit of that dialogue is ("iron sharpening iron") and able to draw meaningful conclusions ("hope lives in that laughter") that express deeper ideas. By focusing on these compelling reflections, this student shows themself as a brilliant and thoughtful thinker, while demonstrating what they value: discourse between opposing viewpoints. Rather than focusing on the literal happenings (i.e. giving a speech to their club), the student reflects on what that experience represents more broadly, which allows them to connect to deeper ideas.

This essay is full of details, without being wordy or drawn out. Even small details like naming the show "The Daily Show" or giving a number of "40,000+ theologies" makes their writing much more engaging and compelling. By avoiding broad and vague language, this student paints a fascinating picture that allows the reader to enter their world. It is always better to be specific than to be generic, but make sure that the specific details are always relevant to your point. This essay is a great example of how to do both.

This essay does a fantastic job of creating a "voice." That is, you can easily imagine the student as if they were speaking to you while reading it. To craft this voice, this student uses small moments of more informal language and interjecting remarks that show their thought process. Using parentheses can be a good way to show your voice by jumping in when you have a small remark to add. This student also demonstrates a sense of humor and lightheartedness while still discussing meaningful ideas. The sarcastic remark "because controversy has no place in a debate club!" demonstrates their values (of dialogue between differing viewpoints) as well as showing their sense of personality.

This essay's weakest point is its intro or "hook." In fact, it could work much better by excluding the introduction paragraph and starting off with the second paragraph: "Forgive the melodrama: this is a story..." That short phrase is much more captivating and immediately draws the reader in. The introduction paragraph in this essay is too much of a meandering and vague story: you don't know what they're talking about, and ultimately it doesn't matter. Rather than using a fancy story or descriptions to introduce your essay, try jumping into the "meat" of your essay immediately. Consider using a short, declarative sentence or phrase like "Forgive the melodrama" as a hook, which is more impactful and draws the reader immediately into your essay.

Personal Statement Example #10: Finding Answers

Personal Statement Example #10: Finding Answers

Common App Prompt #3: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? (250-650 words)

My grandmother’s concern faded rather quickly as sirens fell distant and time passed.

After about 30 minutes, my grandfather’s friend ran toward the beach. My grandfather was not next to him. He was not there at all. At that moment, my grandma knew.

“Burt...he was with me...he slipped...he fell...I ran down the side of the mountain, off the trail, but I couldn’t find him. The park rangers are looking...” She stopped listening. She could see his lips moving, yet she heard nothing.

This essay repeats a lot of the same ideas or information, just using different words. Rather than "getting to the point," this repetition makes the essay feel meandering and like it is going nowhere ultimately. When drafting your essay, it is okay to have repetition (your drafts shouldn't be perfect, after all). But when editing, ask yourself with each sentence: does this add something new? Is this necessary to my main point? If not, you should exclude those sentences.

This essay starts off with a drawn-out story of the tragedy involving the author's grandfather. Most of this story is unnecessary, because all that really matters for this student's main idea is the fact that their grandfather passed away from a tragic accident. Details about his grandmother or his grandfather's best friend are unnecessary and distracting.

An important "rule" in college essays is to only write from your perspective. That is, don't describe things that you couldn't have seen or experienced. In this essay, the author spends a lot of time describing their grandfather's incident as if they was there to witness it. But we later learn that the author was not even alive at this point, so how could they be describing these things? On a smaller level, don't describe yourself from an outside perspective. For example, instead of, "I grimaced when I heard the news" (how did you see yourself grimace?) you could say, "I felt my stomach pang when I heard the news."

Your ideas are most valuable in your essays. Admissions officers want to see how you think, and having interesting ideas that are unique to you is how you demonstrate that you're thoughtful and insightful. Avoid surface-level ideas at all costs, as it comes off cliché. It is okay to start with more generic ideas, but you should always delve deeper. To get at deeper and more unique ideas, the key is to ask yourself questions. For example: Why is this the case? Why don't things work differently? What does this mean for other people? What does this represent? How can I apply this to other areas of life?

Personal Statement Example #11: Connecting with Others

Personal Statement Example #11: Connecting with Others

Common App Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. (250-650 words)

It's important to create a "voice" in your personal statement, so that admissions officers can imagine your character and personality. Try to write as you would speak, but refined and polished. In this essay, natural-sounding phrases like "...let me admit, I was awful..." humanizes the author and makes the reader feel like they're being spoken to.

This essay is a perfect example of how effective essays don't need to have a super unusual story to be compelling. What makes this essay's story compelling is not necessarily the topic itself (meeting distant relatives), but instead how the student reflects and makes interesting connections to broader ideas. Even seemingly mundane experiences can make for meaningful personal statements topics.

This conclusion works well by connecting to the main story of the essay. However, certain phrases like "As a global citizen" and "I am hoping to forge relationships" are potentially too generic. Instead, try taking your main idea (in this case forming connections with others) and broaden it or connect to more universal ideas.

Personal Statement Example #12: Summer Confidence

Personal Statement Example #12: Summer Confidence

This essay has a heartfelt moment where the author connects deeply with a camper and feels a sense of genuine gratitude. By showing their newfound connection with a person they were mentoring, this creates a sense of humanity and also tells a lot about the author themself. By talking about other people in your life, you create a literary "foil" which in turn describes something about yourself. Showing how you interact with others can be telling into your character, such as showing your empathy, sense of humor, friendliness, or how you draw inspiration from others.

This essay does a good job of expressing vulnerability, specifically the author's fears about the future and "deteriorating friendships" after going to college. By being vulnerable, these moments feel more relatable to the reader. Showing your struggles (especially emotional ones) can also make your later "successes" feel more impactful when you show how you've overcame them or persist in face of those struggles. By recognizing your flaws or insecurities, you also show self-awareness, which is a positive trait because you need to be self-aware in order to improve the areas of yourself you want to fix.

Although this essay does reflect upon the lessons learned during their time at this camp, the takeaways are ultimately surface-level and not delved into. Rather than saying things like "I had more confidence," it would be more engaging to show how that confidence made an effect and what exactly that "confidence" meant. This essay touches upon some meaningful lessons, but ultimately they fall flat because the nuances of these lessons are glossed over. Phrases like "upon further consideration it no longer fills me with...apprehension" don't delve into the most interesting part: How and why did that fear go away? What changed about your perspective and why? Instead, these are explained away with "confidence and maturity," which are too broad of terms and feel meaningless because they are overused in essays.

In your personal statement, it is completely OK to reference people by their first name. Using names makes your essay more vivid and engaging, while showing a deeper connection that you have with others. Rather than saying "other people" or "one of the older campers," it would be more impactful to use their first name. There are some caveats, however. Don't use their name if you're showing them in a negative light (which you probably shouldn't do anyway) or if you're revealing something personal about them. If you are revealing something personal, you can substitute their name for another name, or ask them for their direct permission.

Personal Statement Example #13: First Impressions

Personal Statement Example #13: First Impressions

It had a nice ring to it, but I wasn’t a fan. Unfortunately, that’s what I imagined everyone saw first, and first impressions stick.

A caveat of my surgery was that the hair would grow, then one-third would fall off. My scar will never be completely gone, but I no longer feel defined by it like I did in elementary school.

An effective hook doesn't need to be complicated. Often, the best hooks are simple, declarative sentences. By using a short sentence, you'll immediately draw the reader into your essay and create a point of emphasis. In general, avoid long and meandering sentences to start your essay, and save those for later in your essay. Clear and succinct phrasing is often the hallmark of a strong hook.

To convey your ideas more strongly, show them using concrete examples. In this essay, the author does a great job of that by not saying "classmates only saw me for my scar," but instead showing that idea through the memorable image of "I learned about my classmates through their lunchbox covers...they saw me as the boy with the scar." Using tangible imagery makes for a compelling way of expressing your ideas, as it allows the reader to come to the conclusions you want them to, without just "telling" them.

Avoid exaggerating or "fluffing up" experiences in your essays. Instead, be realistic and tell them for what they are. This essay does that perfectly by using phrases like "I didn't have a sudden epiphany about my scar." Avoid using phrases like "suddenly, I..." which are often overused and unrealistic. Most new understandings aren't acquired in one moment in particular, but are developed over time.

This essay touches on some compelling ideas, such as how people can distill down other people into their physical attributes or ailments. However, it would be even stronger to delve deeper into these reflections by asking further questions: Why do we gravitate towards "categorizing" people based on surface-level attributes? What is the impact of only be acknowledged for surface-level characteristics by others, but knowing that you have much more depth to your character? This essay has some meaningful ideas, but other ideas such as "I can be whatever I want to be" feel surface-level and somewhat generic.

Personal Statement Example #14: Law Career

Personal Statement Example #14: Law Career

One great way to have interesting ideas is to show things that you find fascinating that other people may find boring. This essay describes how a judge mandating "reprimands for speeding tickets might be dull for some," but how they find it interesting. Everything, even the seemingly mundane, has interesting aspects if you're willing to look closely enough. When brainstorming, ask yourself: what do I find fascinating that others find boring? What do I think is "fun" while others may think it is "hard" or boring? By following these threads, you can often find unique and compelling ideas that allow you to bring the reader into your world and show them how you see the world uniquely.

A common trap when writing a personal statement is to use a descriptive, fiction-like story to start your essay. Although this may sound like a good idea, it is often ineffective because it buries what is most interesting (your ideas and reflections) and can easily be long and drawn out. Short, concise stories with a focus can be effective introductions, but in general avoid overly descriptive storytelling to start your essay. Also, avoid describing things that aren't critical to your main point. There is little to no benefit in describing things like "I smoothed my skirt and rose slowly from the chair." Focus on why your stories matter, rather than telling stories in a descriptive manner.

This essay does have some reflections, particularly about how the author discovered their passion for law by joining the Youth Court. However, most of these ideas end there, and there aren't any deep, unique ideas. The closest the author comes to having a unique and compelling idea is the final sentence where they write "the value of prioritizing the common good above individual success." This could be a fascinating topic to explore, but ultimately is cut short because it is tagged onto the ending. Your focus when brainstorming and drafting should be to have specific and original ideas—ideas that are not generic, not cliché, and not surface-level. To get to those ideas, ask yourself probing questions like "Why" and "How" over and over.

Personal Statement Example #15: My Asian Experience

Personal Statement Example #15: My Asian Experience

Personal Statement Example #16: Secrets of Riddles

Personal Statement Example #16: Secrets of Riddles

Common App Prompt #6: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? (250-650 words)

As I was going to St. Ives, Upon the road I met seven wives; Every wife had seven sacks, Every sack had seven cats: Cats, sacks, and wives, How many were going to St. Ives?

The riddles of life were not as straightforward as the puzzles in my books and websites. In fact, they were not straightforward at all, like winding mazes of philosophical quandary.

One of the most thought-provoking subjects that preoccupies my mind regards the existence of aliens. Initially, my mind was settled on the possibility of intelligent life. A universe so big could not possibly be lifeless.

As for the solution to the riddle at the start:

How many were going to St. Ives?

This essay does well by having a unique central topic—riddles—which allows the author to draw out interesting ideas related to this theme. Your topic doesn't necessarily need to be profound or hugely significant, because this author shows how you can take a seemingly unimportant topic and use it to make meaningful connections. In this essay, riddles grow to represent something greater than the activity itself, which is something you can do with almost any topic.

One of the most effective ways to "show, not tell" is to use specific and tangible examples. This essay does a great job of exemplifying their ideas. Rather than just saying "I enthralled my friends with questions," the author also shows this: "Over peanut butter and sliced ham, I assumed the role of story teller..." Examples are always more convincing because they are proof, and allow the reader to interpret for themselves. Don't tell the reader what you want them to think. Instead, set up moments that guide the reader to come to those conclusions themselves.

This conclusion connects back to the beginning, which is generally a good idea as it creates a cohesive structure. However, this ending doesn't quite make sense in the context of the riddle. Rather than creating new meaning, it comes off as arbitrary and contrived. Make sure your conclusion isn't creative just for creative-sake, and instead also has significant meaning attached to it.

Personal Statement Example #17: Rubik's Cube

Personal Statement Example #17: Rubik's Cube

Personal Statement Example #18: Narrative Diversity

Personal Statement Example #18: Narrative Diversity

If your cultural background or identity is an important part of who you are, then writing about it can make for a compelling essay. Often times in college admissions, Asian-Americans in particular are advised to "hide" their ethnic background, because it can be perceived to hurt their application. This student embraces their Asian heritage by recognizing ways in which they faced societal barriers. As this essay shows, regardless of your identity, there are unique aspects you can delve into that can make for compelling topics.

This essay does a great job of reflecting upon previously held beliefs, such as "I unconsciously succumbed to the 'reserve and quiet' Asian stereotype," and challenging them. Questioning your beliefs and where they came from can often be a good starting point for interesting reflection. Showing your new perspectives over time also conveys self-growth. Ask yourself: what did I once believe (in regards to myself, an activity, other people, etc.), what do I believe now, and how has this changed?

Rather than starting off with an activity and then reflecting upon it, this student takes a different approach. By introducing an interesting idea (the representation of underrepresented groups in media) and then later connecting to their activities, it makes the incorporation of those extracurriculars seem more appropriate and natural. The last thing you want to do is list your activities plainly, but it's still important to reference them. One strategy to naturally talk about your activities and accomplishments is to attach them to interesting ideas, as this essay shows.

Personal Statement Example #19: Search for Dreams

Personal Statement Example #19: Search for Dreams

Common App Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. (250-650 words)

The diamond leaves of gnarled oak trees throw spectrums of color onto mounds of frosty snow that gleam melancholily under the moonlight. The leaves chime as wind violently rustles them in a haunting melody. I splinter a leaf off its branch and inspect the shard of my illusion, eyes dancing with amusement.

As I dwell in my worries, a cold hand reaches from behind me and taps my shoulder.

I jerk away, fear bubbling in my amygdala as I look into the nonexistent eyes of my intruding visitor.

The moon illuminates a blob of pink squish as it draws back slowly, points its spindly hands towards my drink and asks: “Could I have some of that?”

The blob wipes its invisible mouth with its nonexistent sleeve. I ask: “What are you?”

The blob tells me to stop looking at it so suspiciously. “I can prove it,” It says. I tell it, please, go ahead.

Suddenly we are back in the glowing forest. “Diamonds? Pah!” The blob dismisses them. Instantly, the leaves turn solid gold, the snow melts, and the wintry world is thrown into a blistering summer.

The blob laughs heartlessly. “Your cortex is under my control,” it says smugly.

“I heard you had a question for me?” It taps its invisible ears knowingly.

The blob wriggles its invisible brows as it waits.

It smiles that wicked smile. It laughs that sinful laugh. Then that insufferable blob wakes me up.

As I sit up in the dark and rub my bleary eyes, I am vaguely aware of the deep­set unfulfillment settling itself inside me. I yawn and plop back into bed, the soft red glow of my alarm clock indicating that it is still before midnight.

One thing is for sure about this essay: it has a unique idea that has surely not been written before. Regardless of your topic, you want your essay to be unique in some way, even if it isn't as fantastical as this essay. You can use a unique structure, such as having central symbolism, metaphor, or being structured as a recipe, for example. But this can easily become "gimmicky" if it doesn't have a clear purpose. In general, the most effective way to have a unique essay is to focus on having deep and unique ideas and reflections. By focusing on interesting takeaways and connections that are ultra-specific to you and your experiences, your essay will standout regardless of the structure.

This essay uses a lot of fiction-like writing that is fantastical and "flowery." Although moments of this kind of writing can make your essay more vivid, it is quite easy to end up with dense storytelling and descriptions that ultimately don't share anything interesting about you. The purpose of your essay is ultimately to learn about you: your values, your ideas, your identity, etc. By using dense story-like writing, it can be easy to lose focus of what admissions officers are looking for. In general, avoid writing "fancy" stories like this essay, unless you have a clear and distinct purpose for doing so. Everything in your essay should have a purpose in "going somewhere" (i.e. reaching interesting ideas and takeaways).

This essay is definitely creative, but lacks meaningful takeaways and ideas. By the end of the essay, we don't know much about the author besides the fact that they have an affinity for creative writing and are "on a search." Although the content is unique, the end result comes off as quite generic and surface-level because no interesting thoughts are explored deeply. The most interesting part of this essay is "I open my mouth and ask it my most crucial question," but this is super unsatisfying because the question is never divulged. Instead, the reader is teased by this fantasy story and the essay goes nowhere meaningful, which comes off as gimmicky and "creative for creative's sake," rather than deeply personal and interesting.

This essay ends on the idea of "continuing my search," but for what exactly? It is never explained, elaborated, or even implied (besides one reference to painting earlier). That makes this conclusion comes off as somewhat surface-level and uninteresting. Admissions officers won't care about "your search" unless they have a reason to care. That is, unless it tells something specific about you. On it's own, this idea of "exploring" and "searching" is meaningless because it is too broad and unelaborated.

Personal Statement Example #20: Recipe for Success

Personal Statement Example #20: Recipe for Success

Step 1: Collect the ingredients

Step 2: Marinate the meat

Step 3: Wrap the dumplings

Step 4: Boil or pan-fry?

Step 5: Share and enjoy!

This essay has a clearly unique format in that it is structured as a dumpling recipe. By walking the reader through each step of dumpling-making, the student is able to explore various ideas and use the dumpling process as a metaphor for their own self-discovery. Having a creative structure like this can be beneficial, so long as you also have compelling ideas and the structure isn't unique just for the sake of being unique.

This whole essay is one big metaphor: the student compares their self-growth to the process of making dumplings. In doing so, the student introduces their heritage, while also having a creative literary device that they can use to explore various topics. By having a "central theme" such as this essay does, it makes it easier to explore a variety of ideas and activities, without seeming like you're listing them.

Struggles are one of the most defining aspects of self-development, and admissions officers are interested to see how you have overcome challenges. These difficulties don't need to be extreme tragedies or insurmountable obstacles, but everyone has faced difficulties. By reflecting upon those difficulties, you can draw out interesting ideas, showcase vulnerability, and express your personality.

What You Can Learn From These Personal Statement Examples

With these 20 Personal Statement examples, you can get inspired and improve your own essays. If you want to get accepted into selective colleges this year, your essays need to make you stand out.

These 20 examples show how real students got into highly selective schools and teach us several lessons for writing your own successful Personal Statement essay:

  • Write a compelling first sentence that grabs the reader
  • Be specific and reference things by name
  • Tell a meaningful story
  • Reflect on your life and identity. Be self-aware.

If you enjoyed these personal statement examples, check out some of our top Common App Essays , which are also personal statements essays, but for the Common Application.

Which of these personal statement examples was your favorite?

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Princeton Admitted Essay

People love to ask why. Why do you wear a turban? Why do you have long hair? Why are you playing a guitar with only 3 strings and watching TV at 3 A.M.—where did you get that cat? Why won’t you go back to your country, you terrorist? My answer is... uncomfortable. Many truths of the world are uncomfortable...

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Her baking is not confined to an amalgamation of sugar, butter, and flour. It's an outstretched hand, an open invitation, a makeshift bridge thrown across the divides of age and culture. Thanks to Buni, the reason I bake has evolved. What started as stress relief is now a lifeline to my heritage, a language that allows me to communicate with my family in ways my tongue cannot. By rolling dough for saratele and crushing walnuts for cornulete, my baking speaks more fluently to my Romanian heritage than my broken Romanian ever could....

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A cow gave birth and I watched. Staring from the window of our stopped car, I experienced two beginnings that day: the small bovine life and my future. Both emerged when I was only 10 years old and cruising along the twisting roads of rural Maryland...

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How to Write an Amazing Personal Statement (Includes Examples!)

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Lisa Freedland is a Scholarships360 writer with personal experience in psychological research and content writing. She has written content for an online fact-checking organization and has conducted research at the University of Southern California as well as the University of California, Irvine. Lisa graduated from the University of Southern California in Fall 2021 with a degree in Psychology.

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Student completes a personal statement she has been writing for a college application

The personal statement. It’s one of the most important parts of the entire college application process. This essay is the perfect opportunity to show admissions officers who you are and what makes you stand out from the crowd. But writing a good personal statement isn’t exactly easy. That’s why we’ve put together the ultimate guide on how to nail your personal statement, complete with example essays . Each essay was reviewed and commented upon by admissions expert Bill Jack. Let’s dive in!

Related: How to write an essay about yourself  

What is a personal statement? 

A personal statement is a special type of essay that’s required when you’re applying to colleges and scholarship programs. In this essay, you’re expected to share something about who you are and what you bring to the table. Think of it as a chance to reveal a side of yourself not found in the rest of your application. Personal statements are typically around 400 – 600 words in length. 

What can I write about? 

Pretty much anything, as long as it’s about you . While this is liberating in the sense that your writing options are nearly unlimited, it’s also overwhelming for the same reason. The good news is that you’ll probably be responding to a specific prompt. Chances are you’re applying to a school that uses the Common App , which means you’ll have seven prompts to choose from . Reviewing these prompts can help generate some ideas, but so can asking yourself meaningful questions. 

Below you’ll find a list of questions to ask yourself during the brainstorming process. For each of the following questions, spend a few minutes jotting down whatever comes to mind. 

  • What experiences have shaped who you are? 
  • What’s special or unique about you or your life story? 
  • Who or what has inspired you the most? 
  • What accomplishments are you most proud of? 
  • What are your goals for the future? How have you arrived at those goals? 
  • If your life was a movie, what would be the most interesting scene? 
  • What have been some of the biggest challenges in your life? How did you respond and what did you learn? 

The purpose of these questions is to prompt you to think about your life at a deeper level. Hopefully by reflecting on them, you’ll find an essay topic that is impactful and meaningful. In the next section, we’ll offer some advice on actually writing your essay. 

Also see:  How to write a 500 word essay

How do I write my personal statement? 

Once you’ve found a topic, it’s time to start writing! Every personal statement is different, so there’s not really one formula that works for every student. That being said, the following tips should get you started in the right direction:  

1. Freewrite, then rewrite 

The blank page tends to get more intimidating the longer you stare at it, so it’s best to go ahead and jump right in! Don’t worry about making the first draft absolutely perfect. Instead, just get your ideas on the page and don’t spend too much time thinking about the finer details. Think of this initial writing session as a “brain dump”. Take 15-30 minutes to quickly empty all your thoughts onto the page without worrying about things like grammar, spelling, or sentence structure. You can even use bullet points if that helps. Once you have your ideas on the page, then you can go back and shape them exactly how you want. 

2. Establish your theme 

Now that you’ve got some basic ideas down on the page, it’s time to lock in on a theme. Your theme is a specific angle that reflects the central message of your essay. It can be summarized in a sentence or even a word. For example, let’s say you’re writing about how you had to establish a whole new group of friends when you moved to a new city. The theme for this type of essay would probably be something like “adaptation”. Having a theme will help you stay focused throughout your essay. Since you only have a limited number of words, you can’t afford to go off on tangents that don’t relate to your theme. 

3. Tell a story

A lot of great essays rely on a specific scene or story. Find the personal anecdote relevant to your theme and transfer it to the page. The best way to do this is by using descriptive language. Consult the five senses as you’re setting the scene. What did you see, hear, taste, touch, or smell? How were you feeling emotionally? Using descriptive language can really help your essay come to life. According to UPchieve , a nonprofit that supports low income students, focusing on a particular moment as a “ revised version of a memoir ” is one way to keep readers engaged. 

Related: College essay primer: show, don’t tell  

4. Focus on your opening paragraph

Your opening paragraph should grab your reader’s attention and set the tone for the rest of your essay. In most cases, this is the best place to include your anecdote (if you have one). By leading with your personal story, you can hook your audience from the get-go. After telling your story, you can explain why it’s important to who you are. 

Related:  How to start a scholarship essay (with examples)

5. Use an authentic voice 

Your personal statement reflects who you are, so you should use a tone that represents you. That means you shouldn’t try to sound like someone else, and you shouldn’t use fancy words just to show off. This isn’t an academic paper, so you don’t have to adopt a super formal tone. Instead, write in a way that allows room for your personality to breathe. 

6. Edit, edit, edit…

Once you’re done writing, give yourself some time away from the essay. Try to allow a few days to pass before looking at the essay again with fresh eyes. This way, you’re more likely to pick up on spelling and grammatical errors. You may even get some new ideas and rethink the way you wrote some things. Once you’re satisfied, let someone else edit your essay. We recommend asking a teacher, parent, or sibling for their thoughts before submitting. 

Examples of personal statements 

Sometimes viewing someone else’s work is the best way to generate inspiration and get the creative juices flowing. The following essays are written in response to four different Common App prompts: 

Prompt 1: “Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”

When I was eight years old, I wanted a GameCube very badly. For weeks I hounded my dad to buy me one and finally he agreed. But there was a catch. He’d only get me a GameCube if I promised to start reading. Every day I played video games, I would have to pick up a book and read for at least one hour. At that point in my life, reading was just something I had to suffer through for school assignments. To read for pleasure seemed ludicrous. Needless to say, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about this proposed agreement. But I figured anything was worth it to get my hands on that shiny new video game console, so I bit the bullet and shook my dad’s hand. Little did I know that I had just made a life-changing deal. 

At first, the required hour of reading was a chore — something I had to do so I could play Mario Kart. But it quickly turned into something more than that. To my complete and utter surprise, I discovered that I actually enjoyed reading. One hour turned into two, two turned into three, and after a while I was spending more time reading than I was playing video games. I found myself captivated by the written word, and I read everything I could get my hands on. Lord of the Rings , Percy Jackson , Goosebumps — you name it. I was falling in love with literature, while my GameCube was accumulating dust in the TV stand. 

Soon enough, reading led to writing. I was beginning to come up with my own stories, so I put pen to paper and let my imagination run wild. It started out small. My first effort was a rudimentary picture book about a friendly raccoon who went to the moon. But things progressed. My stories became more intricate, my characters more complex. I wrote a series of science fiction novellas. I tried my hand at poetry. I was amazed at the worlds I could create with the tip of my pen. I had dreams of becoming an author. 

Then somewhere along the way my family got a subscription to Netflix, and that completely changed the way I thought about storytelling. My nose had been buried in books up until then, so I hadn’t really seen a lot of movies. That quickly changed. It seemed like every other day a pair of new DVDs would arrive in the mail (this was the early days of Netflix). Dark Knight, The Truman Show, Inception, Memento — all these great films were coming in and out of the house. And I couldn’t get enough of them. Movies brought stories to life in a way that books could not. I was head over heels for visual storytelling. 

Suddenly I wasn’t writing novels and short stories anymore. I was writing scripts for movies. Now I wanted to transfer my ideas to the big screen, rather than the pages of a book. But I was still doing the same thing I had always done. I was writing, just in a different format. To help with this process, I read the screenplays of my favorite films and paid attention to the way they were crafted. I kept watching more and more movies. And I hadn’t forgotten about my first love, either. I still cherished books and looked to them for inspiration. By the end of my junior year of high school, I had completed two scripts for short films. 

So why am I telling you all this? Because I want to turn my love of storytelling into a career. I’m not totally sure how to do that yet, but I know I have options. Whether it’s film production, creative writing, or even journalism, I want to find a major that suits my ambitions. Writing has taken me a long way, and I know it can take me even further. As I step into this next chapter of my life, I couldn’t be more excited to see how my craft develops. In the meantime, I should probably get rid of that dusty old GameCube. 

Feedback from admissions professional Bill Jack

Essays don’t always have to reveal details about the student’s intended career path, but one thing I like about this essay is that it gives the reader a sense of the why. Why do they want to pursue storytelling. It also shows the reader that they are open to how they pursue their interest. Being open to exploration is such a vital part of college, so it’s also showing the reader that they likely will be open to new things in college. And, it’s always fun to learn a little bit more about the student’s family, especially if the reader can learn about how the students interacts with their family. 

Prompt 2: “The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?”

I remember my first impression of Irvine: weird. It was foggy, stock-full of greenery and eucalyptus trees, and reminded me of my 5th grade trip to a “science camp” which was located in the San Bernardino mountains. Besides Irvine, that was one of the few places in Southern California where you’d find so many non-palm trees. 

Of course, perhaps my initial impression of Irvine was biased, motivated by a desire to stay in my hometown and a fear of the unknown. While that was true to an extent, Irvine was certainly still a little peculiar. The city itself was based on a “master plan” of sorts, with the location of each of its schools, parks, shops, and arguably its trees having been logically “picked” before the foundation was poured. Even the homes all looked roughly the same, with their beige, stucco walls almost serving as a hallmark of the city itself.

Thus, this perfectly structured, perfectly safe city seemed like a paradise of sorts to many outsiders, my parents included. I was a little more hesitant to welcome this. As I saw it, this was a phony city – believing that its uniformity stood for a lack of personality. My hometown, although not as flawlessly safe nor clean as Irvine, was where most of my dearest memories had occurred. From the many sleepovers at Cindie’s house, to trying to avoid my school’s own version of the “infamous” cheese touch, to the many laughs shared with friends and family, I shed a tear at the prospect of leaving my home.

Moving into the foreign city, remnants of the hostility I held towards Irvine remained. Still dwelling in my memories of the past, I was initially unable to see Irvine as a “home.” So, as I walked into my first-ever Irvine class, being greeted by many kind, yet unfamiliar faces around me, I was unable to recognize that some of those new faces would later become some of my dearest friends. Such negative feelings about the city were further reinforced by newer, harder classes, and more complicated homework. Sitting in the discomfort of this unfamiliar environment, it started to seem that “change” was something not only inevitable, but insurmountable.

As the years went on, however, this idea seemed to fade. I got used to my classes and bike racing through Irvine neighborhoods with my friends, watching the trees that once seemed just a “weird” green blob soon transform into one of my favorite parts of the city. While I kept my old, beloved memories stored, I made space for new ones. From carefully making our way over the narrow creek path next to our school, to the laughs we shared during chemistry class, my new memories made with friends seemed to transform a city I once disliked into one I would miss. 

Through this transformation, I have come to recognize that change, although sometimes intimidating at first, can open the door to great times and meaningful connections. Although Irvine may have once seemed like a strange, “phony” place that I couldn’t wait to be rid of, the memories and laughs I had grown to share there were very real. As I move onto this next part of my life, I hope I can use this knowledge that I have gained from my time in Irvine to make the most of what’s to come. Even if the change may be frightening at first, I have learned to embrace what’s on the other side, whether green or not.

One huge plus to writing an essay that focuses on a place is that you might have it read by someone who has been there. Yet, what’s really helpful about this essay is that even if someone hasn’t been there, a picture is painted about what the place is like.  Admission officers have the hard task of really understanding what the student sees, so the use of adjectives and imagery can really help.  It’s also really clever to see that the green that’s mentioned at the beginning is mentioned at the end.  It’s a nice way to bookend the essay and tie it all together.

Prompt 6: “Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?”

I like getting lost. Not literally, of course, but figuratively. Whether it be in the story of a love song by Taylor Swift, or in the memories brought back by listening to my favorite childhood video game’s background music, I’ve always appreciated music’s ability to transport me to another place, another time, another feeling. 

Alas, I cannot sing, nor have I practiced an instrument since my middle school piano class days. So, perhaps Kurt Vonnegut was right. As he puts it, “Virtually every writer I know would rather be a musician.” While I cannot speak for others, I have certainly not debunked his theory. Writing allows many, including myself, to attempt to mimic the transformative power of music – even if our singing voices aren’t exactly “pleasant.” Just as you can get lost in music, you can do so in a story. Whether it is in George Orwell’s totalitarian Oceania, or Little Women’s Orchard House, the stories outlined in novels can provide an amazing look into the lives and worlds of others, and an escape from the worries and problems of those in your own.

While I am certainly not claiming to have the storytelling abilities of the Orwells or Alcotts before me, I’ve had fun trying to recreate such transformative feelings for others. When I was nine, I attempted to write a story about a little girl who had gotten lost in the woods, only managing to get a couple pages through. As I got older, whenever I was assigned a creative writing assignment in school, I wrote about the same pig, Phil. He was always angry: in my 8th grade science class, Phil was mad at some humans who had harbored his friend captive, and in my 9th grade English class, at a couple who robbed him. 

Thus, when I heard about a writing club being opened at my school in 11th grade, I knew I had to join. I wanted to discern whether writing was just a hobby I picked up now and then, or a true passion. If it was a passion, I wanted to learn as much as possible about how I could improve. Although my high school’s writing club certainly wasn’t going to transform me into Shakespeare, I knew I could learn a lot from it – and I did. The club challenged me to do many things, from writing on the spot, to writing poetry, to even writing about myself, something that’s hopefully coming in handy right now. 

From then on, I started to expand into different types of writing, storing short ideas, skits, and more in appropriately-labeled Google Drive folders. At around the same time, I became interested in classic literature, which largely stemmed from a project in English class. We had been required to choose and read a classic on our own, then present it to the class in an interesting way. While my book was certainly interesting and unique in its own right, nearly everyone else’s novels seemed more captivating to me. So, I took it upon myself to read as many classics as I could the following summer.

One of the books I read during the summer, funnily enough, was Animal Farm, which starred angry pigs, reminiscent of Phil. I had also started going over different ideas in my head, thinking about how I could translate them into words using the new skills I learned. While the writing club helped reaffirm my interest in writing and allowed me to develop new skills, my newfound affinity for classics gave me inspiration to write. Now, I am actually considering writing as part of my future. In this endeavor, I hope that Phil, and the music I inevitably listen to as I write, will accompany me every step of the way.

Admission officers might read 70 (or more!) essays in one day. It’s not uncommon for them to start to blend together and sound similar. This essay might not make you laugh out loud. But, it might make the reader chuckle while reading it thanks to the subtle humor and levity. Being able to incorporate a little humor into your essay (if it is natural for you to do… do not force it), can really be a great way to shed additional light into who you are. Remember, the essay isn’t merely about proving that you can write, but it should also reveal a little bit about your personality.

Prompt 5: “Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.”

I learned a lot of things during the summer I worked at Tropical Smoothie. I discovered the value of hard work. I figured out how to save money. I even mastered the art of the Mango Magic smoothie (the secret is lots of sugar). But most importantly, I learned the power of perspective. And I have Deja to thank for that. 

Deja was my shift supervisor, and one of Tropical Smoothie’s best employees. She was punctual, friendly, and always willing to lend a helping hand. She knew the store from top to bottom, and could handle pretty much any situation thrown her way. She made everyone around her better. On top of all that, she was four months pregnant! I was always impressed by Deja’s work ethic, but I gained an entirely new level of respect for her one day.

It was a Friday night, and Deja and I were working the closing shift together. It was very busy, and Deja and I were the only ones on shift. We managed to get by, but we were exhausted by the end of the evening. After wiping down the counters and mopping the floors, we closed up shop and went our separate ways. I was eager to get home. 

I walked a couple blocks to where I had parked my car. Well, it wasn’t my car actually. It was my dad’s ‘98 Chevy pickup truck, and it was in rough shape. It had no heat or A/C, the leather seats were cracked beyond repair, and the driver’s side door was jammed shut. I sighed as I got in through the passenger side and scooted over to the driver’s seat. The whole reason I was working at Tropical Smoothie was to save up enough money to buy my own car. I was hoping to have something more respectable to drive during my senior year of high school. 

I cranked the old thing up and started on my way home. But soon enough, I spotted Deja walking on the side of the road. There was no sidewalk here, the light was low, and she was dangerously close to the passing cars. I pulled over and offered her a ride. She got in and explained that she was on her way home. Apparently she didn’t have a car and had been walking to work every day. I couldn’t believe it. Here I was complaining about my set of wheels, while Deja didn’t have any to begin with.

We got to talking, and she confessed that she had been having a tough time. You would never know from the way she was so cheerful at work, but Deja had a lot on her plate. She was taking care of her mother, her boyfriend had just lost his job, and she was worried about making ends meet. And of course, she was expecting a baby in five months. On top of all that, she had been walking nearly a mile to and from work every day. The whole thing was a real eye opener, and made me reconsider some things in my own life. 

For one, I didn’t mind driving my dad’s truck anymore. It was banged up, sure, but it was a lot better than nothing. My mindset had changed. I appreciated the truck now. I began to think about other things differently, too. I started making mental notes of all the things in my life I was thankful for — my family, my friends, my health. I became grateful for what I had, instead of obsessing over the things I didn’t. 

I also gained more awareness of the world outside my own little bubble. My encounter with Deja had shown me first-hand that everyone is dealing with their own problems, some worse than others. So I started paying more attention to my friends, family members, and coworkers. I started listening more and asking how I could help. I also gave Deja a ride home for the rest of the summer. 

These are all small things, of course, but I think they make a difference. I realized I’m at my best when I’m not fixated on my own life, but when I’m considerate of the lives around me. I want to keep this in mind as I continue to grow and develop as a person. I want to continue to search for ways to support the people around me. And most importantly, I want to keep things in perspective.

Too often we can be focused on our own problems that we fail to realize that everyone has their own things going on in their lives, too.  This essay showcases how it’s important to put things in perspective, a skill that certainly will prove invaluable in college… and not just in the classroom.  Another reason I like this essay is because it provides deeper insight into the student’s life.  Sure, you might have mentioned in your activities list that you have a job.  But as this essay does, you can show why you have the job in the first place, what your responsibilities are, and more.

A few last tips

We hope these essay examples gave you a bit of inspiration of what to include in your own. However, before you go, we’d like to send you off with a few (personal statement) writing tips to help you make your essays as lovely as the memories and anecdotes they’re based off of. Without further ado, here are some of our best tips for writing your personal statements:

1. Open strong

College admissions officers read many, many essays (think 50+) a day, which can sometimes cause them to start blending together and sounding alike. One way to avoid your essay from simply fading into the background is to start strong. This means opening your essay with something memorable, whether an interesting personal anecdote, a descriptive setting, or anything else that you think would catch a reader’s attention (so long as it’s not inappropriate). Not only might this help college admissions officers better remember your essay, but it will also make them curious about what the rest of your essay will entail.

2. Be authentic

Perhaps most important when it comes to writing personal statement essays is to maintain your authenticity. Ultimately, your essays should reflect your unique stories and quirks that make you who you are, and should help college admissions officers determine whether you’d truly be a good fit for their school or not. So, don’t stress trying to figure out what colleges are looking for. Be yourself, and let the colleges come to you!

3. Strong writing

This one may seem a little obvious, but strong writing will certainly appeal to colleges. Not only will it make your essay more compelling, but it may show colleges that you’re ready for college-level essay writing (that you’ll likely have to do a lot of). Just remember that good writing is not limited to grammar. Using captivating detail and descriptions are a huge part of making your essay seem more like a story than a lecture.

4. Proofread

Last but not least, remember to proofread! Make sure your essay contains no errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. When you’re done proofreading your essay yourself, we would also recommend that you ask a teacher, parent, or other grammatically savvy person to proofread your essay as well.

Final thoughts 

With those in hand, we hope you now have a better sense of how to write your personal statement. While your grades and test scores are important when it comes to college admissions, it’s really your essays that can “make” or “break” your application. 

Although this may make it seem like a daunting task, writing an amazing personal statement essay is all about effort. Thus, so long as you start early, follow the advice listed above, and dedicate your time and effort to it, it’s entirely possible to write an essay that perfectly encapsulates you. Good luck, and happy writing!

Also see:  Scholarships360’s free scholarships search tool

Key Takeaways

  • It may take some people longer than others to know what they want to write about, but remember that everyone, including you, has something unique to write about!
  • Personal statements should be personal, which means you should avoid being too general and really strive to show off what makes you “you”
  • Time and effort are two of the most important things you can put into your personal statement to ensure that it is the best representation of yourself
  • Don’t forget to ask people who know you to read your work before you submit; they should be able to tell you better than anyone if you are truly shining through!

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Frequently asked questions about writing personal statements 

How do you write a powerful personal statement, what makes an amazing personal statement, how do you start an amazing personal statement, scholarships360 recommended.

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5 Ivy-level Personal Statement Examples [Updated 2023]

by Winning Ivy Prep Team | Apr 4, 2023 | College Essay Examples , Personal Statement Examples

personal essay with examples

Here, we have 5 high quality   Personal Statement essay examples  from my students over the years. Great Common App Personal Statements tend to give a glimpse into each student’s life, thought processes, growth, and maturity.

Another trend that you may notice with these essay examples is that they’re not entirely CAREER or ACADEMIC based. It depends on the vibe you’re going for, but the general rule of thumb is to think about these essays from the perspective of the admissions officer.

In other words, it’s NOT as simple as “showing off your personality” in personal statement. You might hear this or read this somewhere, but, seriously, don’t listen to it. Your personality will not get you into a top school (unless you’re trying to hustle your way into a party when you’re not on the guest list, then that’s different.)

Think about it rationally: An admissions officer’s JOB is to assemble a cohort of great students into his/her university. Upon reading each application, an admissions professional is thinking: “How will this student contribute to our school? What will this person bring to the table?”

So, your personal statement needs to help answer that question. 

Note: O fficial Common App Personal Statement Prompts are posted here.

Remember, the word count is 650 words! And, just an FYI — titles for college app essays are completely unnecessary. I just included them in this post to refer to them more easily.

personal essay with examples

Before you start writing, the first step is to understand exactly what’s expected of you. If the application gives you a question or prompt for your personal statement, the most important thing is to respond to it directly.

For example, you might be asked to focus on the development of your personal identity; challenges you have faced in your life; or your career motivations. This will shape your focus and emphasis—but you still need to find your own unique approach to answering it.

There’s no universal template for a personal statement; it’s your chance to be creative and let your own voice shine through. But there are strategies you can use to build a compelling, well-structured story.

The first paragraph of your personal statement should set the tone and lead smoothly into the story you want to tell.

Strategy 1: Open with a concrete scene

An effective way to catch the reader’s attention is to set up a scene that illustrates something about your character and interests. If you’re stuck, try thinking about:

  • A personal experience that changed your perspective
  • A story from your family’s history
  • A memorable teacher or learning experience
  • An unusual or unexpected encounter

To write an effective scene, try to go beyond straightforward description; start with an intriguing sentence that pulls the reader in, and give concrete details to create a convincing atmosphere.

Strategy 2: Open with your motivations

To emphasize your enthusiasm and commitment, you can start by explaining your interest in the subject you want to study or the career path you want to follow.

Just stating that it interests you isn’t enough: first, you need to figure out why you’re interested in this field:

  • Is it a longstanding passion or a recent discovery?
  • Does it come naturally or have you had to work hard at it?
  • How does it fit into the rest of your life?
  • What do you think it contributes to society?

Tips for the introduction

  • Don’t start on a cliche: avoid phrases like “Ever since I was a child…” or “For as long as I can remember…”
  • Do save the introduction for last. If you’re struggling to come up with a strong opening, leave it aside, and note down any interesting ideas that occur to you as you write the rest of the personal statement.

Once you’ve set up the main themes of your personal statement, you’ll delve into more detail about your experiences and motivations.

To structure the body of your personal statement, there are various strategies you can use.

Strategy 1: Describe your development over time

One of the simplest strategies is to give a chronological overview of key experiences that have led you to apply for graduate school.

  • What first sparked your interest in the field?
  • Which classes, assignments, classmates, internships, or other activities helped you develop your knowledge and skills?
  • Where do you want to go next? How does this program fit into your future plans?

Don’t try to include absolutely everything you’ve done—pick out highlights that are relevant to your application. Aim to craft a compelling narrative that shows how you’ve changed and actively developed yourself.

My interest in psychology was first sparked early in my high school career. Though somewhat scientifically inclined, I found that what interested me most was not the equations we learned about in physics and chemistry, but the motivations and perceptions of my fellow students, and the subtle social dynamics that I observed inside and outside the classroom. I wanted to learn how our identities, beliefs, and behaviours are shaped through our interactions with others, so I decided to major in Social Psychology. My undergraduate studies deepened my understanding of, and fascination with, the interplay between an individual mind and its social context.During my studies, I acquired a solid foundation of knowledge about concepts like social influence and group dynamics, but I also took classes on various topics not strictly related to my major. I was particularly interested in how other fields intersect with psychology—the classes I took on media studies, biology, and literature all enhanced my understanding of psychological concepts by providing different lenses through which to look at the issues involved.

Strategy 2: Own your challenges and obstacles

If your path to graduate school hasn’t been easy or straightforward, you can turn this into a strength, and structure your personal statement as a story of overcoming obstacles.

  • Is your social, cultural or economic background underrepresented in the field? Show how your experiences will contribute a unique perspective.
  • Do you have gaps in your resume or lower-than-ideal grades? Explain the challenges you faced and how you dealt with them.

Don’t focus too heavily on negatives, but use them to highlight your positive qualities. Resilience, resourcefulness and perseverance make you a promising graduate school candidate.

Growing up working class, urban decay becomes depressingly familiar. The sight of a row of abandoned houses does not surprise me, but it continues to bother me. Since high school, I have been determined to pursue a career in urban planning. While people of my background experience the consequences of urban planning decisions first-hand, we are underrepresented in the field itself. Ironically, given my motivation, my economic background has made my studies challenging. I was fortunate enough to be awarded a scholarship for my undergraduate studies, but after graduation I took jobs in unrelated fields to help support my parents. In the three years since, I have not lost my ambition. Now I am keen to resume my studies, and I believe I can bring an invaluable perspective to the table: that of the people most impacted by the decisions of urban planners.

Strategy 3: Demonstrate your knowledge of the field

Especially if you’re applying for a PhD or another research-focused program, it’s a good idea to show your familiarity with the subject and the department. Your personal statement can focus on the area you want to specialize in and reflect on why it matters to you.

  • Reflect on the topics or themes that you’ve focused on in your studies. What draws you to them?
  • Discuss any academic achievements, influential teachers, or other highlights of your education.
  • Talk about the questions you’d like to explore in your research and why you think they’re important.

The personal statement isn’t a research proposal , so don’t go overboard on detail—but it’s a great opportunity to show your enthusiasm for the field and your capacity for original thinking.

In applying for this research program, my intention is to build on the multidisciplinary approach I have taken in my studies so far, combining knowledge from disparate fields of study to better understand psychological concepts and issues. The Media Psychology program stands out to me as the perfect environment for this kind of research, given its researchers’ openness to collaboration across diverse fields. I am impressed by the department’s innovative interdisciplinary projects that focus on the shifting landscape of media and technology, and I hope that my own work can follow a similarly trailblazing approach. More specifically, I want to develop my understanding of the intersection of psychology and media studies, and explore how media psychology theories and methods might be applied to neurodivergent minds. I am interested not only in media psychology but also in psychological disorders, and how the two interact. This is something I touched on during my undergraduate studies and that I’m excited to delve into further.

Strategy 4: Discuss your professional ambitions

Especially if you’re applying for a more professionally-oriented program (such as an MBA), it’s a good idea to focus on concrete goals and how the program will help you achieve them.

  • If your career is just getting started, show how your character is suited to the field, and explain how graduate school will help you develop your talents.
  • If you have already worked in the profession, show what you’ve achieved so far, and explain how the program will allow you to take the next step.
  • If you are planning a career change, explain what has driven this decision and how your existing experience will help you succeed.

Don’t just state the position you want to achieve. You should demonstrate that you’ve put plenty of thought into your career plans and show why you’re well-suited to this profession.

One thing that fascinated me about the field during my undergraduate studies was the sheer number of different elements whose interactions constitute a person’s experience of an urban environment. Any number of factors could transform the scene I described at the beginning: What if there were no bus route? Better community outreach in the neighborhood? Worse law enforcement? More or fewer jobs available in the area? Some of these factors are out of the hands of an urban planner, but without taking them all into consideration, the planner has an incomplete picture of their task. Through further study I hope to develop my understanding of how these disparate elements combine and interact to create the urban environment. I am interested in the social, psychological and political effects our surroundings have on our lives. My studies will allow me to work on projects directly affecting the kinds of working-class urban communities I know well. I believe I can bring my own experiences, as well as my education, to bear upon the problem of improving infrastructure and quality of life in these communities.

Tips for the main body

  • Don’t rehash your resume by trying to summarize everything you’ve done so far; the personal statement isn’t about listing your academic or professional experience, but about reflecting, evaluating, and relating it to broader themes.
  • Do make your statements into stories: Instead of saying you’re hard-working and self-motivated, write about your internship where you took the initiative to start a new project. Instead of saying you’ve always loved reading, reflect on a novel or poem that changed your perspective.

Your conclusion should bring the focus back to the program and what you hope to get out of it, whether that’s developing practical skills, exploring intellectual questions, or both.

Emphasize the fit with your specific interests, showing why this program would be the best way to achieve your aims.

Strategy 1: What do you want to know?

If you’re applying for a more academic or research-focused program, end on a note of curiosity: what do you hope to learn, and why do you think this is the best place to learn it?

If there are specific classes or faculty members that you’re excited to learn from, this is the place to express your enthusiasm.

Strategy 2: What do you want to do?

If you’re applying for a program that focuses more on professional training, your conclusion can look to your career aspirations: what role do you want to play in society, and why is this program the best choice to help you get there?

Tips for the conclusion

  • Don’t summarize what you’ve already said. You have limited space in a personal statement, so use it wisely!
  • Do think bigger than yourself: try to express how your individual aspirations relate to your local community, your academic field, or society more broadly. It’s not just about what you’ll get out of graduate school, but about what you’ll be able to give back.

You’ll be expected to do a lot of writing in graduate school, so make a good first impression: leave yourself plenty of time to revise and polish the text.

Your style doesn’t have to be as formal as other kinds of academic writing, but it should be clear, direct and coherent. Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly from the last, using topic sentences and transitions to create clear connections between each part.

Don’t be afraid to rewrite and restructure as much as necessary. Since you have a lot of freedom in the structure of a personal statement, you can experiment and move information around to see what works best.

Finally, it’s essential to carefully proofread your personal statement and fix any language errors. Before you submit your application, consider investing in professional personal statement editing . For $150, you have the peace of mind that your personal statement is grammatically correct, strong in term of your arguments, and free of awkward mistakes.

A statement of purpose is usually more formal, focusing on your academic or professional goals. It shouldn’t include anything that isn’t directly relevant to the application.

A personal statement can often be more creative. It might tell a story that isn’t directly related to the application, but that shows something about your personality, values, and motivations.

However, both types of document have the same overall goal: to demonstrate your potential as a graduate student and s how why you’re a great match for the program.

The typical length of a personal statement for graduate school applications is between 500 and 1,000 words.

Different programs have different requirements, so always check if there’s a minimum or maximum length and stick to the guidelines. If there is no recommended word count, aim for no more than 1-2 pages.

If you’re applying to multiple graduate school programs, you should tailor your personal statement to each application.

Some applications provide a prompt or question. In this case, you might have to write a new personal statement from scratch: the most important task is to respond to what you have been asked.

If there’s no prompt or guidelines, you can re-use the same idea for your personal statement – but change the details wherever relevant, making sure to emphasize why you’re applying to this specific program.

If the application also includes other essays, such as a statement of purpose , you might have to revise your personal statement to avoid repeating the same information.

If you want to know more about college essays , academic writing , and AI tools , make sure to check out some of our other language articles with explanations, examples, and quizzes.

College essays

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  • College essay format
  • College essay style
  • College essay length
  • Diversity essays
  • Scholarship essays

Academic writing

  • Writing process
  • Avoiding repetition
  • Literature review
  • Conceptual framework
  • Dissertation outline
  • Thesis acknowledgements
  • Burned or burnt
  • Canceled or cancelled
  • Dreamt or dreamed
  • Gray or grey
  • Theater vs theatre

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How to Write a Personal Essay for Your College Application

personal essay with examples

What does it take to land in the “accept” (instead of “reject”) pile?

How can you write an essay that helps advance you in the eyes of the admissions officers and makes a real impression? Here are some tips to get you started.

  • Start early.  Do not leave it until the last minute. Give yourself time when you don’t have other homework or extracurriculars hanging over your head to work on the essay.
  • Keep the focus narrow.  Your essay does not have to cover a massive, earth-shattering event. Some people in their teens haven’t experienced a major life event. Some people have. Either way, it’s okay.
  • Be yourself.  Whether writing about a painful experience or a more simple experience, use the narrative to be vulnerable and honest about who you are. Use words you would normally use. Trust your voice and the fact that your story is interesting enough in that no one else has lived it.
  • Be creative.  “Show, don’t tell,” and that applies here — to an extent. The best essays typically do both. You can help your reader see and feel what you are describing by using some figurative language throughout your piece.
  • Make a point. As you finish your final body paragraphs ask yourself “So what?” This will help you hone in on how to end your essay in a way that elevates it into a story about an insight or discovery you made about yourself, rather than just being about an experience you had.

We’ve all heard about the dreaded “college essay,” the bane of every high school senior’s existence. This daunting element of the college application is something that can create angst for even the most accomplished students.

  • AA Amy Allen is a writer, educator, and lifelong learner. Her freelance writing business,  All of the Write Words , focuses on providing high school students with one-on-one feedback to guide them through the college application process and with crafting a thoughtful personal essay. A dedicated poet, Amy’s work has also been published in several journals including  Pine Row Press ,  Months to Years,  and  Atlanta Review .

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What Is a Personal Essay (Personal Statement)?

Glossary of Grammatical and Rhetorical Terms

  • An Introduction to Punctuation
  • Ph.D., Rhetoric and English, University of Georgia
  • M.A., Modern English and American Literature, University of Leicester
  • B.A., English, State University of New York

A personal essay is a short work of autobiographical nonfiction characterized by a sense of intimacy and a conversational manner. Also called a personal statement . 

A type of creative nonfiction , the personal essay is "all over the map," according to Annie Dillard. "There's nothing you can't do with it. No subject matter is forbidden, no structure is prescribed. You get to make up your own form every time." ("To Fashion a Text," 1998) .

Examples of Personal Essays

  • An Apology for Idlers , by Robert Louis Stevenson
  • On Laziness , by Christopher Morley
  • Coney Island at Night, by James Huneker
  • New Year's Eve , by Charles Lamb
  • How It Feels to Be Colored Me , by Zora Neale Hurston
  • My Wood, by E.M. Forster
  • Two Ways of Seeing a River , by Mark Twain
  • What I Think and Feel at 25, by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Observations

  • The personal essay is one of the most common types of writing assignment--and not only in freshman composition courses. Many employers, as well as graduate and professional schools, will ask you to submit a personal essay (sometimes called a personal statement ) before even considering you for an interview. Being able to compose a coherent version of yourself in words is clearly an important skill.
  • What qualities does a personal essay reveal about you? Here are just a few:
  • Communication Skills How effective are your communication skills? Do you write clearly, concisely, and correctly? Note that many employers put communication skills at the top of the list of essential qualifications.
  • Critical Thinking Skills How fresh and imaginative are you in your thinking? Is your writing cluttered with cliches , or is it obvious that you have original ideas to contribute?
  • Maturity What specific lessons have you learned from experience, and are you ready to apply those lessons to the job or the academic program you're considering? Keep in mind that it's not enough to be able to recount a personal experience; you should be prepared to interpret it as well.
  • Self and Subject in Personal Essays "[W]here the familiar essay is characterized by its everyday subject matter, the personal essay is defined more by the personality of its writer, which takes precedence over the subject. On the other hand, the personal essayist does not place himself firmly in center stage, as does the autobiographical essayist; the autobiographical element of the personal essay is far less calculated..."
  • The Essayist's Persona "Personal essayists from Montaigne on have been fascinated with the changeableness and plasticity of the materials of human personality. Starting with self-description, they have realized they can never render all at once the entire complexity of a personality. So they have elected to follow an additive strategy, offering incomplete shards, one mask or persona after another: the eager, skeptical, amiable, tender, curmudgeonly, antic, somber. If 'we must remove the mask,' it is only to substitute another mask..."
  • The "Antigenre": An Alternative to Academic Prose "[T]he more personal essay offers an escape from the confines of academic prose . By using this antigenre form that in contemporary essays embodies multiple kinds of writing, many essayists in search of democracy find a freedom for expressing in their writings spontaneity, self-reflexivity, accessibility, and a rhetoric of sincerity."
  • Teaching the Personal Essay "Given the opportunity to speak their own authority as writers, given a turn in the conversation, students can claim their stories as primary source material and transform their experiences into evidence ..."
  • Essay Forms "Despite the anthologists' custom of presenting essays as 'models of organization ,' it is the loose structure or apparent shapelessness of the essay that is often stressed in standard definitions. . . . Samuel Johnson famously defined the essay as 'an irregular, indigested piece, not a regular and orderly performance.' And certainly, a number of essayists (Hazlitt and Emerson, for instance, after the fashion of Montaigne) are readily identifiable by the wayward or fragmentary nature of their explorations. Yet each of these writers observes certain distinctive organizing (or disorganizing) principles of his own, thus charting the ramble and shaping the form. As Jeanette Harris observes in Expressive Discourse , 'Even in the case of a personal essay , which may appear informal and loosely structured, the writer has crafted with care this very appearance of informality' (122).

Theresa Werner, "Personal Essay."  Encyclopedia of the Essay , ed. by Tracy Chevalier. Fitzroy Dearborn, 1997

E.B. White , Foreword to  Essays of E.B. White . Harper and Row, 1977

Cristina Kirklighter,  Traversing the Democratic Borders of the Essay . SUNY Press, 2002

Nancy Sommers, "Between the Drafts."  College Composition and Communication , February 1992

Richard F. Nordquist, "Voices of the Modern Essay." Dissertation University of Georgia, 1991

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How to Write a Personal Statement That Wows Colleges

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10 Personal Statement Examples That Work →

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  Most of the college applications process is fairly cut and dry. You’ll submit information about your classes and grades, standardized test scores, and various other accomplishments and honors. On much of the application, your accomplishments must speak for themselves. 

The personal statement is different though, and it’s your chance to let your voice be heard. To learn more about the personal statement, how to choose a topic, and how to write one that wows colleges, don’t miss this post.

What is the Personal Statement?

Personal statements are used in both undergraduate and graduate admissions. For undergrad admissions, personal statements are any essays students must write to submit their main application. For example, the Common App Essay and Coalition Application Essay are examples of personal statements. Similarly, the ApplyTexas Essays and University of California Essays are also good examples .

Personal statements in college admissions are generally not school-specific (those are called “supplemental essays”). Instead, they’re sent to a wide range of schools, usually every school you apply to. 

What is the Purpose of the Personal Statement?

The personal statement is generally your opportunity to speak to your unique experiences, qualities, or beliefs that aren’t elsewhere represented on the application. It is a chance to break away from the data that defines you on paper, and provide a glimpse into who you really are. In short, it’s the admissions committee’s chance to get to know the real you.

So, what are colleges looking for in your personal statement? They are looking for something that sets you apart. They are asking themselves: do you write about something truly unique? Do you write about something common, in a new and interesting way? Do you write about an aspect of your application that needed further explanation? All of these are great ways to impress with your personal statement.

Beyond getting to know you, admissions committees are also evaluating your writing skills. Are you able to write clearly and succinctly? Can you tell an engaging story? Writing effectively is an important skill in both college and life, so be sure to also fine-tune your actual writing (grammar and syntax), not just the content of your essay.

Is your personal statement strong enough? Get a free review of your personal statement with CollegeVine’s Peer Essay Review.

How To a Choose A Topic For Your Personal Statement

Most of the time, you’re given a handful of prompts to choose from. Common personal statement prompts include:

  • Central aspect of your identity (activity, interest, talent, background)
  • Overcoming a failure
  • Time you rose to a challenge or showed leadership
  • Experience that changed your beliefs
  • Problem you’d like to solve
  • Subject or idea that captivates you

One of the questions that we hear most often about the personal statement is, “How do I choose what to write about?” For some students, the personal statement prompt triggers an immediate and strong idea. For many more, there is at least initially some uncertainty.

We often encourage students to think less about the exact prompt and more about what aspects of themselves they think are most worthy of highlighting. This is especially helpful if you’re offered a “topic of your choice” prompt, as the best essay topic for you might actually be one you make up!

For students with an interesting story or a defining background, these can serve as the perfect catalyst to shape your approach. For students with a unique voice or different perspective, simple topics written in a new way can be engaging and insightful.

Finally, you need to consider the rest of your application when you choose a topic for your personal statement. If you are returning from a gap year, failed a single class during sophomore year, or participated extensively in something you’re passionate about that isn’t elsewhere on your application, you might attempt to address one of these topics in your statement. After all, the admissions committee wants to get to know you and understand who you really are, and these are all things that will give them a deeper understanding of that.

Still, tons of students have a decent amount of writer’s block when it comes to choosing a topic. This is understandable since the personal statement tends to be considered rather high stakes. To help you get the ball rolling, we recommend the post What If I Don’t Have Anything Interesting To Write About In My College Essay?

Tips for Writing a Personal Statement for College

1. approach this as a creative writing assignment..

Personal statements are difficult for many students because they’ve never had to do this type of writing. High schoolers are used to writing academic reports or analytical papers, but not creative storytelling pieces.

The point of creative writing is to have fun with it, and to share a meaningful story. Choose a topic that inspires you so that you’ll enjoy writing your essay. It doesn’t have to be intellectual or impressive at all. You have your transcript and test scores to prove your academic skills, so the point of the personal statement is to give you free rein to showcase your personality. This will result in a more engaging essay and reading experience for admissions officers. 

As you’re writing, there’s no need to follow the traditional five-paragraph format with an explicit thesis. Your story should have an overarching message, but it doesn’t need to be explicitly stated—it should shine through organically. 

Your writing should also feel natural. While it will be more refined than a conversation with your best friend, it shouldn’t feel stuffy or contrived when it comes off your tongue. This balance can be difficult to strike, but a tone that would feel natural when talking with an admired teacher or a longtime mentor is usually a good fit.

2. Show, don’t tell.

One of the biggest mistakes students make is to simply state everything that happened, instead of actually bringing the reader to the moment it happened, and telling a story. It’s boring to read: “I was overjoyed and felt empowered when I finished my first half marathon.” It’s much more interesting when the writing actually shows you what happened and what the writer felt in that moment: “As I rounded the final bend before the finish line, my heart fluttered in excitement. The adrenaline drowned out my burning legs and gasping lungs. I was going to finish my first half marathon! This was almost incomprehensible to me, as someone who could barely run a mile just a year ago.”

If you find yourself starting to write your essay like a report, and are having trouble going beyond “telling,” envision yourself in the moment you want to write about. What did you feel, emotionally and physically? Why was this moment meaningful? What did you see or hear? What were your thoughts?

For inspiration, read some memoirs or personal essays, like The New York Times Modern Love Column . You could also listen to podcasts of personal stories, like The Moth . What do these writers and storytellers do that make their stories engaging? If you didn’t enjoy a particular story, what was it that you didn’t like? Analyzing real stories can help you identify techniques that you personally resonate with.

3. Use dialogue.

A great way to keep your writing engaging is to include some dialogue. Instead of writing: “My brothers taunted me,” consider sharing what they actually said. It’s more powerful to read something like:

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

Having dialogue can break up longer paragraphs of text, and bring some action and immediacy to your story. That being said, don’t overdo it. It’s important to strike a balance between relying too much on dialogue, and using it occasionally as an effective writing tool. You don’t want your essay to read like a script for a movie (unless, of course, that’s intentional and you want to showcase your screenwriting skills!).

Want free essay feedback? Submit your essay to CollegeVine’s Peer Essay Review and get fast, actionable edits on your essay. 

Common Mistakes to Avoid in Personal Statements

1. giving a recap or report of all the events..

Your essay isn’t a play-by-play of everything that happened in that time frame. Only include relevant details that enrich the story, instead of making your personal statement a report of the events. Remember that the goal is to share your voice, what’s important to you, and who you are. 

2. Writing about too many events or experiences. 

Similarly, another common mistake is to make your personal statement a resume or recap of all your high school accomplishments. The Activities Section of the Common App is the place for listing out your achievements, not your personal statement. Focus on one specific experience or a few related experiences, and go into detail on those. 

3. Using cliche language.

Try to avoid overdone quotes from famous people like Gandhi or Thoreau. Better yet, try to avoid quotes from other people in general, unless it’s a message from someone you personally know. Adding these famous quotes won’t make your essay unique, and it takes up valuable space for you to share your voice.

You should also steer away from broad language or lavish claims like “It was the best day of my life.” Since they’re so cliche, these statements also obscure your message, and it’s hard to understand what you actually mean. If it was actually the best day of your life, show us why, rather than just telling us.

If you want to learn more about personal statements, see our post of 11 Common App Essay Examples .

Want help with your college essays to improve your admissions chances? Sign up for your free CollegeVine account and get access to our essay guides and courses. You can also get your essay peer-reviewed and improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

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Search the site, search suggestions, the personal essay.

Photograph of blank Microsoft Word document titled "The Most Awesome College Essay Ever"

Unlike the rest of your application, which primarily consists of filling in boxes, the personal essay gives you the freedom to essentially write about whatever you want. No rules! Show who you are! Which sounds pretty cool, until you’re sitting there looking at a blank Word document.

Photograph of blank Microsoft Word document titled "The Most Awesome College Essay Ever"

While the personal essay is a great opportunity to infuse your voice into the application, I think some people (cough, me, cough) can get overwhelmed by it to the point where they don’t know how to begin. What do I write about? What makes me stand out? How can I explain all of this in only a few hundred words?

Well, as someone who eventually managed to get some words down on that blank document and turn out a decent college essay, here are a few words of advice.

1. Start by writing something.

I know, that sounds really obvious. But sometimes the hardest part of writing is just getting started – if you spend too much time criticizing your ideas before you write anything down, you won’t get anywhere. Write a few sentences, jot down some random ideas, note a couple anecdotes that might be interesting… just get something on paper that you can look back to. Maybe one of those ideas will catch, and BOOM you have an essay – or maybe you’ll look back to this list after a few weeks and think of something else that you would rather write about. That’s fine! The beginning of the creative process involves coming up with ideas, judging them comes later. Trust me, I took a class on this (really: it was a psych class called “Creativity: Madmen, Geniuses, and Harvard Students.”)

2. Think about something that has some significance to you.

Many students feel like they have to write about some huge, life-changing, important event in their lives. If you have something like this that you want to write about, that’s great! However, you can also write an awesome essay about something other than The Most Important Thing Ever. It can be the littlest things, if you explain their significance well, that actually stand out. In my case, somewhere in my essay I mentioned that I got up at 5:37am (rather than 5:30 or 5:45) because I liked prime numbers – and the first thing my admissions officer said when I walked into the room for my interview was, “So, prime numbers, huh?” That being said, remember that this is a college essay, so keep this audience and goal in mind as you write. When they finish reading, what do you want the admissions officers to know about you? Does this essay demonstrate something about who you are and what you care about? If not, you might want to go back to the drawing board.

3. Don’t be afraid to start over.

After finishing my first draft, I was glad to have something, but I wasn’t completely happy with it either. A week or two later, as I was reading over my essay again, I had an idea for a totally different topic - so I opened another document and completely started over. The second attempt was so much better, and I felt happy with how it turned out. It can be hard to scrap an initial attempt after spending so much time on it, but think of that time as just part of the process of getting to what you really want to write about.

4. Get an outside perspective.

One of the most useful things I did while working on my college essay was asking a couple people to read it over. At the time, I had two drafts that I was choosing between, and I wasn’t sure which one captured “me” better. When I asked my parents and teacher what they thought, they unanimously picked one option over the other. In the end, it’s important to have an essay that you are happy with – but sometimes having a fresh set of eyes can help you see what that is.

This is an important step! Both you, and perhaps someone who knows you well, should read over your essay and make sure it is in tip-top shape before you turn it in. There should be no grammatical or spelling mistakes – that gives the impression that you did not take your time on it. I know you’ve spent a long time on it by this point, but those last edits are super important!

The personal essay is a snippet of who you are and where you’re coming from – a snapshot for the admissions officers to look at as they read your application. It will never be able to capture everything about you, but you want to make sure that you’re giving them your best angle. So sit down, smile, and get to writing!

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10 MSW Personal Statement Examples (with Commentary)

Get inspired by some of the best MSW personal statement examples below.

These personal statement examples are inspired by actual essays from students with whom we’ve collaborated, essays that contributed to their successful admissions. For confidentiality, key details have been altered.

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Table of Contents

Example 1: NYU MSW Personal Statement Sample

Prompt: ‘why i want to be a social worker’ essay.

At the tender age of five, as my family faced the challenges of immigrating to the United States, I quickly became attuned to the complexities surrounding us. This early brush with adversity sparked my quest for understanding, especially in the realm of adolescent experiences. Growing up in a household where my mother tirelessly cared for us, while my father remained emotionally distant, I learned to seek solace in introspection and daydreaming. These experiences laid the foundation for my deep empathy towards others and a commitment to understanding them beyond surface-level perceptions.

My ability to empathize with others, particularly adolescents, has been a guiding force in my life. Working with XXXX as a counselor, I revisited my own teenage years, recognizing the crucial need for guidance during this transformative phase. This realization has fueled my determination to specialize in counseling and therapy for adolescents, a path I am eager to pursue through NYU’s Master of Social Work program. I am convinced that effective counseling during adolescence is pivotal in shaping capable, responsible adults.

My internship at XXXX Health was a turning point. Observing clinical behavioral health therapists and working alongside a psychiatrist specializing in post-incarceration life, I gained profound insights into the long-lasting impact of disrupted adolescent experiences. Hearing the narratives of former inmates underscored the importance of early intervention in defining one’s identity. This experience intensified my desire to work with young individuals struggling to find their place in the world.

Choosing NYU Silver was a natural decision. The school’s esteemed faculty, particularly Dr. Kirk Jae James, resonates with my journey as an immigrant. Dr. James’ dedication to overcoming his challenging past and disproving stereotypes is not just inspiring; it mirrors the resilience and determination I strive to embody. His work with those affected by mass incarceration aligns closely with my aspiration to be a clinical therapist who can bring change to young lives.

New York City, the vibrant and diverse backdrop of NYU Silver, also greatly appeals to me. The city’s rich history of nurturing notable figures like Andy Warhol, Roy Halston, and Jean Basquiat speaks to its capacity to foster self-discovery and belonging. I am excited to immerse myself in this melting pot of cultures and ideas, which will undoubtedly enrich my learning and practice in clinical therapy.

My personal history, particularly my father’s struggle with his traumatic childhood, has taught me that resilience and determination are key to overcoming adversity. His journey, though fraught with challenges, has instilled in me the belief that embracing the unknown and being steadfast in one’s goals can lead to remarkable achievements. Carrying this lesson with me, I step into NYU Silver poised to embark on a journey towards becoming an influential clinical therapist for adolescents.

My path to NYU Silver is more than an academic pursuit; it is a commitment to my dream of guiding adolescents through their most vulnerable years. By combining my personal experiences with the comprehensive training at NYU Silver, I am ready to make a meaningful impact in the field of clinical therapy, helping young individuals navigate their formative years with understanding and resilience.

Commentary:

  • Personal and Cultural Background : Effectively connects early experiences as an immigrant to developing empathy, crucial for social work.
  • Professional Aspirations : Clearly links past experiences with seniors and an internship to a focused interest in clinical therapy for adolescents.
  • Academic Motivation : Draws a parallel between personal experiences and the inspiration found in NYU Silver’s faculty and New York City’s diversity.
  • Resilience and Determination : Reflects on lessons learned from family, particularly the father, instilling a belief in achieving ambitious goals.
  • Career Vision : Articulates a strong desire to impact adolescent lives, demonstrating an understanding of the field’s challenges and opportunities.

Verdict: The personal statement is heartfelt and well-structured, showing a clear link between the candidate’s background, their professional drive, and their chosen academic path. The reflection on personal and family resilience adds depth, positioning the candidate as a motivated individual ready to leverage their experiences for meaningful social work.

Example 2: Columbia MSW Personal Statement Sample

  • Part 1: Reflecting upon your decision and motivation to pursue the MSW, describe how attending CSSW will enable you to meet your goals as a social worker. What are your immediate and long-term social work goals?
  • Part 2: Describe a social problem of significance to you. Please discuss it in regard to societal contributions to the origin of the problem, experiences that have contributed to your identification and understanding of the problem, and possible ways of addressing the problem.
  • Part 3: Choose two attributes and provide examples as to how you exemplify these traits. Choose one attribute you would like to improve. How will attending the MSW program at CSSW help you in doing so?

1. Motivation and Goals for Pursuing MSW:

From a young age, I have been acutely aware of the disparities and injustices in my community. Growing up in a low-income neighborhood in Chicago, I witnessed firsthand the detrimental effects of poverty, limited access to quality education, and the cycle of violence. These early observations fueled my passion for social work, specifically my desire to develop community-based programs aimed at youth empowerment and education. My immediate goal is to work in a non-profit organization focused on urban youth development, while my long-term ambition is to establish a foundation dedicated to providing educational resources and mentorship programs for at-risk youth.

Attending the Columbia School of Social Work (CSSW) will provide me with the critical skills, knowledge, and network necessary to achieve these goals. CSSW’s commitment to social justice, its comprehensive curriculum, and the opportunity to learn from esteemed faculty and diverse peers will equip me with a nuanced understanding of social issues and effective intervention strategies.

2. A Significant Social Problem:

The social problem that resonates most with me is the school-to-prison pipeline, an issue rampant in many urban communities, including my own. This problem arises from a combination of societal factors such as underfunded public schools, zero-tolerance policies, and systemic racial discrimination. My understanding of this issue deepened through volunteering at a local youth center, where I encountered numerous teens who had been expelled from school and were at risk of entering the juvenile justice system.

Addressing this problem requires a multi-faceted approach, starting with policy reform to prioritize education and rehabilitation over punishment. Community-based intervention programs focusing on mentorship, counseling, and educational support can play a vital role in diverting at-risk youth from the criminal justice system. At CSSW, I hope to explore these interventions in-depth and develop effective strategies to dismantle the school-to-prison pipeline.

3. Personal Attributes and Areas for Improvement:

Empathy : My empathy has been a guiding force in my social work journey. A poignant example was when I volunteered at a local youth center. There, I met a teenager named Marcus who had been expelled from school. By actively listening and engaging with him, I learned about his challenges at home and his struggles with learning disabilities. Understanding his situation, I worked with the youth center staff to develop a personalized educational plan and connect him with a mentor. This experience deepened my ability to empathize with individuals from diverse backgrounds, recognizing the unique challenges they face.

Resilience : My resilience was particularly tested when I spearheaded a community project to revitalize a rundown public park. The project faced numerous setbacks, including funding shortages and bureaucratic hurdles. Despite these challenges, I mobilized the community, organized fundraising events, and negotiated with local officials. The successful completion of the park not only provided a safe space for children but also reinforced my ability to persist in the face of adversity, a crucial trait for a social worker.

Area for Improvement – Policy Advocacy : My experience in grassroots initiatives has been rewarding, but it also highlighted the limitations of addressing social issues without policy change. For instance, while volunteering at the youth center, I realized that individual interventions, though beneficial, could not alone prevent the systemic issue of school expulsions leading to juvenile detentions. This recognition has fueled my desire to improve my skills in policy advocacy, an area where I see great growth potential. CSSW’s program, with its emphasis on policy practice, will be instrumental in helping me acquire the necessary knowledge and skills to advocate effectively for systemic changes.

Conclusion:

Attending Columbia School of Social Work will be a pivotal step in my journey to becoming an impactful social worker. I am eager to engage with the CSSW community, learn from diverse experiences, and contribute my perspective towards creating meaningful change. I am committed to using the knowledge and skills gained from CSSW to fight for social justice and empower the youth in communities like mine.

  • Clarity of Motivation : The essay effectively communicates the candidate’s personal experiences and observations of disparities in their community as key motivators for pursuing social work.
  • Goal-Oriented : Clearly outlines immediate and long-term goals, demonstrating a focused vision for a career in social work.
  • Understanding of a Social Issue : The candidate’s insight into the school-to-prison pipeline, informed by volunteer experiences, indicates a deep understanding of this complex social problem.
  • Attributes and Self-Improvement : Demonstrates empathy and resilience through specific examples. Identifies policy advocacy as an area for improvement and connects this to CSSW’s curriculum.
  • Personal and Professional Growth : The candidate’s experiences, challenges faced, and the growth they seek align well with the offerings of the CSSW program.

Verdict: The candidate’s personal statement is compelling and well-crafted. It showcases a strong personal connection to the field, a clear understanding of relevant social issues, and a desire for professional growth that aligns with the CSSW program.

Example 3: UC Berkeley MSW Statement of Purpose Sample

Please address each of the following in your statement:

  • Describe your aptitude, motivation and preparation for graduate study in the field of social welfare; your future career goals in the profession of social work; and achievements that demonstrate your professional promise and leadership potential as a social worker.
  • Describe your academic and professional areas of interest in social work, including your chosen area(s) of specialization.
  • Demonstrate your understanding of contemporary issues and challenges in the professional practice of social work by posing a question or identifying a relevant problem/current issue you would like to explore, and how you might address it from the perspective of a masters’-level social worker.

My journey into the world of social work began with a deeply personal experience – caring for my youngest daughter who faced developmental and language delays. This challenge opened my eyes to the struggles of parents with special needs children and sparked my commitment to helping vulnerable groups. I founded a non-profit organization to support children in rural Russian orphanages, which expanded my drive to assist not only children but also adults suffering from trauma and PTSD. This path has led me to pursue the Master of Social Welfare program at Berkeley, where I aim to deepen my knowledge and skills for effective global impact.

My background is richly diverse. As a mother of four bilingual, multicultural children, I developed a keen interest in early bilingualism. For my thesis at XXXX State Linguistic University, I explored bilingual language development in infants and toddlers, focusing on methods used by parents raising bilingual children. This research, recommended for publication as a guide for multilingual families, heightened my awareness of the challenges immigrant families face globally. It solidified my resolve to find research-based solutions to social issues, a commitment I bring to Berkeley’s rigorous program.

Professionally, I thrived as a XXXX Director for XXXX in Russia, where I honed leadership skills by building a team of passionate educators. A notable achievement was our collaboration with XXXX Department, providing educational programs to young patients. This experience was transformative, broadening my perspective on social change and reinforcing my desire to make a meaningful difference.

As a certified life and leadership coach, I focused on assisting Russian-speaking immigrants and refugee women, many confronting dire challenges like domestic abuse and PTSD. These encounters underscored the need for specialized social welfare skills, steering me towards a Master’s in Social Work. My goal is to become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, specializing in trauma and PTSD, and to contribute on an international scale, possibly with organizations like Doctors Without Borders.

Recognizing the critical role of language in social work, I have been learning Spanish and French to better connect with diverse patient populations. My linguistic background enhances my ability to engage effectively in multicultural settings. To gain practical experience, I completed a 90-hour training at Crisis Support Services of XXXX and began volunteering on their crisis line. This hands-on involvement, particularly during these challenging times, has further motivated me toward my LCSW goal.

UC Berkeley’s MSW program, known for its diverse student body and commitment to public service, is the ideal environment for me to grow. Surrounded by peers and faculty who share a dedication to social justice, I am eager to expand my understanding and prepare for a career dedicated to improving the lives of vulnerable individuals, families, and communities.

  • Personal Experience as Motivation : The statement effectively uses the candidate’s personal experience of caring for a child with developmental delays as a catalyst for their interest in social work.
  • Global Perspective : Showcases a strong commitment to international social issues through work with Russian orphanages and immigrant communities.
  • Professional Achievements : Highlights relevant professional experiences, including leadership roles and work with vulnerable populations.
  • Educational Goals and Alignment : Clearly articulates the desire to specialize in trauma and PTSD, aligning with Berkeley’s MSW program’s strengths.
  • Multicultural and Linguistic Skills : Demonstrates an understanding of the importance of cultural competence in social work, supported by multilingual abilities.

Verdict: The candidate presents a compelling mix of personal motivation, professional experience, and academic alignment with the MSW program at UC Berkeley. Their diverse background and specific career goals make them an ideal candidate for the program.

Example 4: Cal State Fullerton MSW Personal Statement Sample

The quality of the writing in the personal statement will be evaluated, as will the applicant’s ability to thoroughly address the questions outlined below:

  • Describe how your personal background and life experiences have influenced your decision to pursue a graduate education in social work. Please include any challenges or hardships you may have overcome on your journey.
  • What are your expectations of graduate education at Cal State Fullerton in terms of your own development? Indicate any problems or limitations that should be taken into account in planning your graduate program.
  • Specify your career objectives as a professional social worker as you now conceive them. Indicate the fields of practice in which you are interested.
  • Describe your experiences with diverse populations and groups, and how those experiences have contributed to your interest in social work. Which population (defined by culture, ethnicity, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, psychological and/or physical functioning) would you like to serve and why?

While managing an in-school feeding program, I watched a 7-year-old boy take a modest meal at school, and save half for his siblings at home. Another girl expressed joy for the school meals she relied on. These encounters, and others like them, deeply impacted me, highlighting the critical issue of child hunger and food insecurity. My resolve to expand our school feeding program was fueled by these experiences, successfully growing it from 7 to 1,053 schools over five years.

After graduating, I joined the Philippine XXXXX in 2001, managing the Business and Peace Program in the XXXXX Region. Here, I worked with XXXXXX, identifying young Muslims for internships that fostered leadership and peace.

In 2008, I transitioned to the XXXXX Foundation, developing community programs and managing the in-school feeding program, which fed 40,000 children at its peak. These experiences solidified my commitment to child welfare and my belief in the power of social work.

Managing the feeding program, I faced ethical challenges, like discovering fund misappropriation by a local agency officer. I addressed this by establishing direct communication with schools and conducting random checks, ensuring program integrity.

Then in 2013, I took a break to focus on family and moved to XXXXX. Motherhood enriched my perspective, making me more empathetic, resilient, and dedicated to child welfare. Now ready to re-enter the social work field, I seek an MSW degree to update my skills and knowledge.

Post-MSW, I aim to influence policies and contribute to community-based solutions in the Philippines, aspiring to work with large non-profits and eventually with international agencies like UNICEF.

The COVID-19 pandemic has heightened child poverty in the Philippines, underscoring the urgency of my mission. At CSU Fullerton, I plan to study social work theories, understand child welfare systems, and apply these learnings to the Philippine context.

With a Master of Social Work degree, I am poised to join the effort to advance children’s welfare, equipped to make a significant difference in their lives. The Filipino children cannot wait. They need all the help they can get. And with a Master of Social Work degree from CSU Fullerton, the battle will have been half-won.

  • Personal Narrative as Motivation : The statement effectively uses the applicant’s personal experiences with poverty, domestic violence, and addiction to illustrate a deep-rooted motivation for pursuing social work.
  • Community Involvement and Professional Experience : Highlights significant community engagement and professional achievements, demonstrating a commitment to social justice and positive change.
  • Challenges and Ethical Considerations : Discusses challenges faced during professional work, showing problem-solving skills and ethical awareness.
  • Academic and Career Goals : Clearly articulates how an MSW will enrich the applicant’s knowledge and skills, aiming to influence policies and create community-based solutions.
  • Personal Growth and Family Perspective : Reflects on the lessons learned from being a stay-at-home mother, tying this to a renewed enthusiasm for child welfare work.

Verdict: The statement presents a well-rounded candidate with a compelling personal connection to social work, reinforced by active community involvement, ethical professional practice, and clear career goals. The applicant’s experiences and aspirations align well with the MSW program at CSU Fullerton- making them a strong candidate.

Example 5: Cal State Long Beach MSW Personal Statement Sample

How did you become interested in social work? What motivated you to choose social work as a profession?

My passion for social work and advocacy for equality is rooted in a fundamental belief: no voice should be silenced in the pursuit of a just society. Throughout my life, I’ve witnessed how advocates for equality are often marginalized, their concerns unheard. This fuels my commitment to actively work towards a just world, where standing up for justice is a right for all.

As a child of Mexican immigrants, I experienced the harsh realities of a low-income household. This upbringing ingrained in me deep empathy and an intimate understanding of the struggles faced by underprivileged communities. My parents’ relentless hard work and sacrifices, despite economic hardships, have been a constant source of inspiration. They taught me resilience, compassion, and the importance of community support.

My professional journey in social work began at XXXX Community Development Corporation, where I took a lead role in organizing a landmark meeting with elected officials. We successfully voiced community concerns, addressing critical issues like infrastructure and public safety. This experience honed my skills in advocacy and highlighted the power of active listening and engagement.

Furthering my commitment, I volunteered at XXXX Volunteers in Medicine, assisting in providing healthcare to those unable to afford it. Here, I learned the critical role of accessible healthcare and the importance of educating communities about healthy living. These experiences have solidified my resolve to pursue a career in social work, focusing on advocating for essential services and support for underprivileged communities.

My aspiration to become a licensed clinical social worker, specializing in children’s mental health, aligns perfectly with the academic rigor and diverse environment offered by the Master of Social Work program at CSULB. As an undergraduate at CSULB, I was captivated by the program’s depth and the diverse perspectives it embraced. The experiences shared with students from varied backgrounds deepened my understanding of the multifaceted challenges in our society.

I am fully committed to investing my time and resources in the coursework and fieldwork placements at CSULB. The opportunity to study in a stimulating environment, surrounded by professionals who share my passion, will provide a solid foundation for my career. I bring with me a wealth of practical insights from working with low-income communities, the homeless, the elderly, and drug users. These experiences, I believe, will contribute significantly to our class discussions and align perfectly with CSULB’s mission of supporting vulnerable and oppressed populations.

My journey in social work is a commitment to those who struggle to be heard. At CSULB, I aim to further my skills, knowledge, and understanding, preparing myself to be a force for change and a voice for the voiceless. My goal is to ensure that every child, family, and community I work with gets the opportunity to thrive, just as I strive to make a meaningful impact in the field of social work.

  • Strong Personal Connection : The statement effectively connects the candidate’s personal background as a child of Mexican immigrants to her empathy and understanding of underprivileged communities.
  • Professional Experience : Highlights relevant work in community development and healthcare, which demonstrates practical skills in advocacy and community engagement.
  • Academic and Career Goals : Clearly articulates the ambition to specialize in children’s mental health, aligning with CSULB’s program.
  • Commitment to Social Work Values : Demonstrates a deep commitment to social justice, aligned with the mission of CSULB’s social work program.

Verdict: The personal statement is comprehensive and well-constructed, effectively demonstrating the candidate’s passion, relevant experience, and alignment with CSULB’s Master of Social Work program. The candidate’s background and professional aspirations make them a strong fit for the program.

Example 6: San Jose State University MSW Personal Statement Sample

In the heart of a small migrant community, where the sting of social inequities was a daily reality, my path toward a career in social work began to take shape. My childhood, marked by the challenges of racial discrimination and economic struggle, instilled in me not only resilience but a deep understanding of the complex social fabric that shapes communities. It was these formative experiences, coupled with my time volunteering at a local shelter, that solidified my dedication to advocating for social justice.

Professionally, my experiences have been closely aligned with the values at the core of social work. Serving as a community organizer, I worked alongside local leaders to tackle critical issues like housing affordability and healthcare accessibility, gaining valuable insights into the world of policy advocacy. Another pivotal role was as a counselor for at-risk youth, where I developed a keen understanding of the challenges faced by young people from diverse backgrounds. This role was instrumental in refining my skills in empathy and communication.

Looking ahead, my immediate goal is to become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a focus on trauma and PTSD. In the long run, I aspire to establish a non-profit dedicated to providing mental health services to marginalized communities. These ambitions are rooted in a deep-seated commitment to effecting lasting change for those society often overlooks.

San Jose State University’s MSW program, renowned for its emphasis on culturally competent practice, particularly with Latinx and other minority groups, aligns perfectly with both my personal and professional values. The program’s exceptional faculty and comprehensive curriculum stand out as ideal for nurturing my academic and professional growth.

In conclusion, I am confident that my time at San Jose State University will not only refine my existing skills but also expand my perspectives, equipping me to become an effective, empathetic social worker. I am eager to embrace the tools and knowledge that the program offers, to champion social justice and make a tangible difference in the lives of those most in need.

This MSW personal statement sample effectively showcases the candidate’s journey and motivation towards a career in social work. It does well in several key aspects:

  • Personal Experience : The statement begins with a compelling narrative about the candidate’s upbringing in a diverse, challenging environment, effectively linking personal background to their interest in social work.
  • Professional Alignment : The candidate skillfully ties their professional experiences, like community organizing and counseling, to the core values of social work- to demonstrate a clear understanding and commitment to the field.
  • Future Goals & Alignment with the Program : The statement outlines specific short-term and long-term professional goals, aligning them with the strengths of San Jose State University’s MSW program. This demonstrates the candidate’s purposeful choice of program and their understanding of how it will support their career objectives.
  • Flow and Clarity : The essay is well-structured, with each paragraph transitioning smoothly into the next, maintaining a clear and engaging narrative throughout.

Verdict: The statement presents a well-rounded, sincere, and focused candidate with a clear vision for their future in social work. It makes a strong case for their admission.

Example 7: Wayne State University MSW Personal Statement Sample

Your statement must address the following items:

  • The National Association of Social Workers set forth important guiding principles to address social workers’ ethical responsibility to clients, colleagues, employers and employing organizations, the social work profession, and society.
  • Describe how these ethical standards would shape your professional social work practice. How would you reconcile any conflicts between your personal values and the requirements of the profession?
  • Describe why you believe you are a good fit with the mission of the Wayne State University School of Social Work, particularly its urban mission.
  • Social workers are committed to social justice. Please describe your thoughts on a particular social and economic justice issue and how you intend to use your professional social work degree to address these issues.

As an African American with Native American roots, I have firsthand experience with the challenges faced by underserved communities. This background has deeply influenced my desire to pursue social work, driven by a belief in compassion, commitment, and competence. I aim to amplify my impact in this field by enhancing my skills, and I believe the MSW program at Wayne State University is the ideal setting for this growth.

My life in Detroit has exposed me to the myriad challenges of urban environments, from food deserts to unsafe public spaces and high crime rates. The city’s struggle with deindustrialization has led to job losses, property abandonment, and heightened poverty, which I believe positions me uniquely for Wayne’s urban mission. Understanding these issues firsthand, I feel equipped to contribute meaningfully to solutions.

In my current role with a youth assistance program, I work to prevent youths from entering the juvenile system and help rehabilitate those already involved. Our sessions include group counseling, academic enrichment, and life skills training, aimed at early intervention to improve life quality and academic performance.

My practice as a social worker is grounded in the ethical standards set forth by the National Association of Social Workers. I prioritize service above self-interest, as evidenced by my role as a Direct Care Worker for my sister with Autism Spectrum Disorder. I am committed to social justice and understand the importance of dignity and respect for every individual, regardless of their background. My experience with Wayne State University’s XXXXXX program has further reinforced the value of human relationships in social work.

I recognize the potential conflicts between personal values and professional responsibilities. In such cases, I intend to adhere to the profession’s ethical standards, ensuring that my personal beliefs do not hinder my ability to serve clients effectively.

The Wayne State University School of Social Work’s urban mission resonates with my experiences and aspirations. My understanding of Detroit’s unique challenges aligns with the school’s focus on urban social work. I am particularly interested in addressing issues of poverty and economic disparity, leveraging my post-masters degree to initiate impactful programs like fundraisers for low-income students and collaborations with local food banks.

I am aware of the challenges in understanding certain aspects of social work, such as the dynamics of gang involvement. To address this, I plan to engage in continuous learning about various community issues to enhance my ability to serve diverse populations effectively.

My journey has not been without its challenges. While I have been actively involved in addressing the needs of victims of gang violence, I recognize a gap in my understanding of gang culture. To bridge this gap, I am committed to learning more about gang dynamics, history, and the socioeconomic factors that influence gang membership. This knowledge will be crucial in my work with at-risk youth, allowing me to provide more targeted and effective interventions.

Balancing the demands of graduate studies with work, family, and financial responsibilities will be challenging, but my experience in the Wayne State University XXXXX program has equipped me with valuable skills in time management and prioritization. I am prepared to fully commit to the MSW program, confident that it will transform me into an impactful social work professional aligned with Wayne State’s mission.

  • Alignment with University’s Mission : The statement effectively aligns the student’s personal and professional experiences with Wayne State University’s urban mission.
  • Ethical Awareness : Demonstrates a clear understanding of social work ethics and a commitment to upholding these standards in practice.
  • Conflict Resolution : Thoughtfully addresses potential conflicts between personal values and professional responsibilities, indicating maturity and professional readiness.
  • Commitment to Social Justice : Shows a strong dedication to social justice, particularly in addressing economic disparities and poverty.
  • Continuous Learning : Emphasizes a willingness to learn and grow, especially in areas like understanding gang dynamics, which is crucial for effective social work.
  • Personal Experiences : Successfully uses personal experiences to illustrate a deep understanding of the challenges faced by underserved communities.
  • Realistic Approach : Acknowledges and prepares for the challenges of balancing graduate studies with other life responsibilities.

Verdict: The applicant shows a strong alignment with the program’s focus, demonstrates ethical awareness, and possesses a clear commitment to social justice and continuous learning. The statement shows maturity and readiness for the challenges of graduate study in social work.

Example 8: University of Pittsburg MSW Personal Statement Sample

Please describe in your personal statement the following:

  • Influences in your life that led you to select social work as a profession
  • Why you are applying to the University of Pittsburg School of Social Work
  • How an MSW will help you achieve your career goals
  • Your special skills and abilities, your strengths as well as your limitations
  • How your abilities will contribute to your development as a professional social worker
  • Discuss a contemporary issue that is of concern to you

Printed on my grandfather’s funeral brochure was an old Irish proverb: “Death leaves a heartache no one can heal; love leaves a memory no one can steal.” This sentiment has resonated with me deeply, as I have experienced significant loss in my life, from cancer to accidents and suicide. These experiences have not only shaped my understanding of grief but also steered me towards a career in social work, specifically in gerontology and hospice care.

During my final quarter at XXXXXXX State College, I met a hospice social worker whose impact on families dealing with end-of-life situations was profound. Her approach to helping families accept, celebrate life, and find peace in farewells deeply inspired me. It was then that I realized the power of social work in providing comfort and dignity in life’s final stages.

I am applying to the University of Pittsburgh School of Social Work because of its strong gerontology program and its commitment to addressing contemporary issues like the impact of COVID-19 on the aging population. The pandemic has starkly highlighted the disparities in our healthcare system, especially concerning end-of-life care. I aim to contribute to this field by developing solutions to these emerging challenges, ensuring dignity and comfort for all in their final moments, regardless of their racial or socioeconomic status.

My work experience in childcare and hospitality has equipped me with patience, empathy, and a strong work ethic, qualities essential for a career in social work. Additionally, my volunteer work with XXXXXXX and the XXXXXXX has given me valuable experience in community service. However, I recognize my tendency to be overly trusting as a limitation. In the field of social work, discernment is crucial, and I am actively working on balancing empathy with professional objectivity.

At the University of Pittsburgh, I am particularly interested in courses like Grief and Loss: Interventions, Implications, and Understanding, and Direct Practice with Older Adults. These courses, coupled with field education in aging, hospice, or hospital settings, will be instrumental in achieving my career goals.

My commitment to serving the Pittsburgh community stems from my deep-rooted connection to the city. Witnessing the impact of the university’s alumni in the field has further motivated me to pursue my MSW here. I am fully aware of the challenges that lie ahead in the field of social work, but I am confident that the guidance and training offered by the University of Pittsburgh will equip me to tackle these challenges effectively.

My personal experiences with loss, combined with my professional aspirations and commitment to social justice, make me a suitable candidate for the MSW program. I am eager to contribute my skills, work ethic, and unique perspectives to the University of Pittsburgh School of Social Work and to grow into a compassionate and effective social worker.

  • Connection of Personal Experience to Career Choice : Effectively links personal encounters with loss to a passion for social work, particularly in gerontology and hospice care.
  • Alignment with Program’s Strengths : Clearly identifies why the University of Pittsburgh’s program, with its focus on gerontology, is a strong fit for the candidate’s career goals.
  • Discussion of Contemporary Issues : Addresses the impact of COVID-19 on the aging population, showing awareness of current challenges in social work.
  • Self-awareness and Growth : Acknowledges personal limitations, like being overly trusting, and the intention to work on balancing empathy with professional objectivity.
  • Relevant Skills and Experience : Highlights experiences in childcare, hospitality, and volunteer work, which showcase skills valuable in social work.

Verdict: The statement demonstrates a clear connection between personal experiences and professional aspirations. It aligns effectively with the program’s focus, displays awareness of current social issues, and shows a commitment to personal growth- making the candidate a strong fit for the University of Pittsburgh’s MSW program.

Example 9: Case Western Reserve University MSW Personal Statement Sample

Discuss significant factors influencing your decision to pursue a Master of Science in Social Administration (MSSA).

  • Your essay should include information regarding your interest in the social work profession, your intended concentration/specialization, and career goals.
  • Please reflect on how any past school, community, volunteer, professional work, and leadership experiences will contribute to your success as a graduate student.
  • Describe how you see yourself contributing to the vibrancy of our student body and school community.
  • Describe any strengths or limitations that might influence you being successful in your field placement.
  • Finally, please include why the Mandel School is a good fit for your educational goals.

My decision to pursue a Master of Science in Social Administration (MSSA) at the Mandel School is deeply rooted in personal and professional experiences that have highlighted the profound impact of social work. My journey began with observing the complexities of mental health within my family, which instilled in me a passion for understanding and advocating for mental health care.

Growing up, I watched a beloved family member struggle with mental health challenges. Witnessing their battle and the ripple effect it had on our family stirred in me a resolve to support others facing similar trials. This resolve only deepened with the birth of my daughter, Eve, when I encountered my postpartum mood disorders. Through receiving treatment and support, I was empowered to overcome these challenges, which further fueled my aspiration to assist women grappling with similar issues.

In my professional role as a Health Coach and Personal Trainer, I’ve had the privilege of supporting clients like John and Anna, whose mental well-being was intertwined with their physical health goals. These experiences have honed my ability to listen empathetically and devise holistic approaches to wellness that I believe will be invaluable in my social work practice.

My immediate career goal is to establish a private practice focused on women’s mental health, particularly addressing postpartum mood disorders. I am inspired to create a space where women can seek help without stigma or silence. In the long term, I aspire to influence mental health policy, advocating for accessible care and support systems that recognize and address the silent struggles many women face.

The Mandel School’s commitment to academic excellence and its vibrant student body resonate with my educational and professional ethos. The school’s innovative approach to social work education, particularly in mental health, makes it an exceptional fit for my aspirations. My compassion, coupled with my professional experience and personal journey through mental health challenges, will contribute to the rich tapestry of the Mandel School community.

Ultimately, I envision my time at the Mandel School as a transformative experience that will not only deepen my understanding of social work but also equip me with the skills to make significant contributions to the field. With a community that fosters diversity of thought and experience, I am confident that my educational journey here will prepare me for a fulfilling and impactful career in social work.

  • Personal Connection : The statement effectively establishes a personal connection to social work through the candidate’s family experiences with mental health.
  • Professional Relevance : It highlights relevant work experience that translates well into social work competencies, particularly in understanding clients’ holistic needs.
  • Clear Career Objectives : The candidate articulates well-defined short-term and long-term goals that align with their personal experiences and professional aspirations.
  • School Alignment : There is a strong emphasis on how the Mandel School’s ethos resonates with the candidate’s goals, suggesting a thoughtful choice in their application.
  • Contribution to Community : The statement outlines how the candidate’s unique experiences and compassion will add value to the student body and fieldwork.

Verdict: The candidate’s personal statement is compelling, demonstrating a strong, authentic motivation for pursuing an MSSA and a clear vision for how the Mandel School will help fulfill their career objectives.

Example 10: University of Pittsburg MSW Personal Statement Sample

  • Influences in your life that led you to select social work as a profession.
  • Why you are applying to Pitt’s School of Social Work.
  • How an MSW will help you achieve your career goals.
  • How your abilities will contribute to your development as a professional social worker.
  • discuss a contemporary issue that is of concern to you.

At just seven years old, I witnessed the harsh realities of poverty, domestic violence, and addiction within my family. These experiences instilled in me a passion for social work, especially after seeing how social workers supported our family through my parents’ mental health and addiction challenges. This inspired me to pursue a career in this field to use my background and skills gained from an MSW program to assist individuals and families in their recovery processes.

Growing up, our family was caught up in a custody battle, leading my siblings and me to frequently navigate foster care and courtrooms. My parents’ struggle with addiction was alleviated by the support of social workers and case managers, who provided housing, food assistance, service coordination, and counseling. Tragically, both my parents eventually succumbed to drug overdoses. Though painful, these experiences further reinforced my commitment to social work and helping others facing similar struggles.

In recent years, I have been actively involved in social justice activism. My roles as a community organizer and development director for XXXXX Summer Camp, a non-profit empowering girls and non-binary youth through music and mentorship, highlighted the need for improved mental and behavioral health services. Volunteering as a delivery driver and food packager with XXXXX Aid during the COVID-19 pandemic underscored the importance of community support for those in need.

My experience in event coordination, donor relationship building, and electoral campaign work has enabled me to contribute to meaningful change in my community, such as the successful XXXXX Wage initiative in Oregon, which improved the lives of countless workers. Serving on the XXXXX Democratic Committee for Ward Four, I have amplified community voices and supported candidates who advocate for accessible mental and behavioral health services, safe and affordable housing, and environmental protection.

A contemporary issue that concerns me is the effectiveness of harm reduction techniques in treating mental health and dual-diagnosis clients. I aim to explore how these techniques can be integrated into traditional substance abuse treatment models to better meet the mental health needs of individuals like my parents. Additionally, I am interested in how mental health professionals and addiction treatment providers can collaborate to provide comprehensive care for dual-diagnosis clients.

Obtaining an MSW will empower me to become a skilled, compassionate, and trauma-informed clinician. My goal is to contribute to accessible mental and behavioral health services, particularly for trauma survivors, and advocate for inclusive, culturally responsive, and restorative justice practices.

I am empathetic and easily connect with people, and my resilience in adversity will contribute to my development as a professional social worker. These qualities have supported me in helping my sister Cheyan and in my social justice work.

I chose the University of Pittsburgh’s School of Social Work for its highly-ranked program and specialization in mental health. This program aligns with my goal of employing harm reduction strategies for dual-diagnosis clients. Additionally, its proximity to my family will enable me to support them while pursuing my education.

I am eager to return to the University of Pittsburgh and embark on this transformative journey to become a professional social worker. The MSW program will enable me to make a significant difference in the lives of those who need compassionate and trauma-informed care. I am confident that this program will honor my family’s legacy and empower me to create positive change for countless individuals and families in need.

  • Personal Experience as a Motivation : The applicant compellingly uses their personal history of overcoming poverty, domestic violence, and addiction to demonstrate a deep-rooted motivation for pursuing social work.
  • Community Involvement : The statement highlights significant community engagement and activism, showcasing a commitment to social justice and change.
  • Professional Development : Details about event coordination, campaign involvement, and leadership roles show the applicant’s ability to effect change and work collaboratively.
  • Academic and Career Goals : The applicant clearly articulates their interest in harm reduction techniques and their intent to enhance their skills through the MSW program.
  • Personal Qualities : Empathy and resilience are emphasized as strengths that will aid in their development as a social worker.

Verdict: The statement presents a well-rounded candidate with a powerful personal connection to social work, backed by active community involvement and clear professional goals. Their commitment to addressing complex social issues, coupled with their personal strengths, shines throughout the statement.

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Related Articles:

Social Work Personal Statement Guide (w/Examples)

Top 8 Cheapest Online MSW Programs

Best Online MSW Programs in California

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Examples

Personal Essay

Personal essay generator.

personal essay with examples

Essay writing  are compositions which basically includes a general idea or an in depth discussion of a particular subjects or topics. They are commonly written as non-fictional pieces which carry the writer’s point of view on a certain topic of his/her choice or interest.

In schools, teachers often assign students how to write an essay  composition about different topics, usually in order to assess their writing skills. There are different essay types, which can be written using the standard structure (introduction, body, and conclusion), and through different writing styles.

What Is a Personal Essay? A personal essay, in the broadest sense, is a written composition which contains information and personal opinions about a specific individual (usually famous and influential individuals). It is one of the most common essays given as an assignment to students of different levels. In some cases, a personal essay (at times known as a  personal statement ) may include the writer’s personal information, as a requirement for an application. They may be used as basis whether to grant an individual’s application or not.

Personal Essay Format

Introduction.

Hook : Begin with a compelling sentence to grab the reader’s attention. This could be an intriguing question, a surprising fact, or a bold statement related to your story. Background Information : Provide some context to your story. This might include the setting, the circumstances leading up to your narrative, or key characters involved. Thesis Statement : Conclude the introduction with a clear thesis statement that presents the main theme or lesson of your essay.

Body Paragraphs

Each paragraph should focus on a single idea that supports your thesis. Use the following structure for each body paragraph:

Topic Sentence : Start with a sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. Evidence and Examples : Use personal experiences, anecdotes, or reflections to support your point. Be descriptive to help the reader visualize and feel your experiences. Analysis : Explain how these examples support your thesis. Connect your personal story to larger themes or universal truths. Transition : End with a sentence that smoothly transitions to the next paragraph.
Summary : Begin your conclusion by restating your thesis in a new way, summarizing the key points you made in your essay. Reflection : Share what you’ve learned from your experiences. Reflect on the growth or change that occurred as a result. Closing Thought : End with a final thought or call to action that leaves a lasting impression on the reader. This could be a question, a prediction, a hope, or a call to personal reflection.

Example of Personal Essay

My Journey Through Silence: Finding My Voice It was in the quietest moments that I discovered the loudest parts of myself. Growing up with a stutter, I navigated a world that often felt like it was designed for everyone but me. Conversations were minefields, and every word was a battle. Yet, it was through this journey of silence and struggle that I found my true voice, not just as a speaker, but as a person with something valuable to say. My stutter was more than a speech impediment; it was a barrier to my identity. In school, I avoided speaking at all costs. Presentations were nightmares, and group discussions were silent movies in which I played the mute protagonist. This silence, however, became my loudest cry for self-expression. I turned to writing, where words flowed unimpeded. Writing became my refuge, but it also set the stage for a greater transformation. The turning point came when I was asked to write a speech for a community event. Faced with the daunting task of not only writing but delivering it, I felt the familiar cloak of fear. But the message I wanted to share was louder than my fears. Standing on that stage, stuttering yet undeterred, I realized my voice’s power didn’t come from its fluency but from the truth it carried. That moment marked the beginning of a new chapter in my life. The journey from silence to expression taught me the value of listening. I learned to listen not only to the words of others but to the unspoken messages in their pauses, their breaths, and their eyes. This deepened empathy and understanding fueled my desire to advocate for those who, like me, struggled to be heard. My personal battle had evolved into a broader mission. My stutter, once a source of shame, became my greatest teacher. It taught me the power of perseverance, the art of listening, and the value of voice. I’ve learned that our imperfections are not limitations but invitations to find unique paths to self-expression. In finding my voice, I discovered that the most profound conversations often start in silence. And it is in embracing our vulnerabilities that we find our true strength. This journey of overcoming, learning, and ultimately embracing my stutter has not only shaped my identity but has also shown me the universal power of resilience and the beauty of human connection through vulnerability.

Personal Essay for Students

Embracing Change: My First Year in High School Starting high school was a monumental change in my life. It was a blend of excitement and anxiety, stepping into a world that seemed so vast and unknown. I had always heard that high school was where you found yourself, where lifelong friendships were formed, and where the future started to take shape. My journey through the first year of high school taught me about adaptability, resilience, and discovering my own path. The summer before high school, I oscillated between dreaming about the independence it would bring and fearing the challenges of new academic pressures and social dynamics. The thought of navigating a larger school with students from different backgrounds and the pressure to perform well academically loomed large. Yet, there was this underlying current of excitement about joining clubs, exploring new subjects, and the chance to redefine myself. The first day was a whirlwind of emotions. The hallways were bustling with students, and the air was thick with anticipation. I remember feeling like a small fish in a big pond, surrounded by unfamiliar faces and the daunting task of finding my classrooms. It was overwhelming, but there was a sense of adventure in not knowing what each day would bring. Adapting to the academic rigor of high school was challenging. The workload was heavier, and the expectations were higher than I was accustomed to. I learned the hard way that procrastination was my enemy. Balancing homework, extracurricular activities, and personal time became a juggling act. It was during these times that I discovered the importance of time management and setting priorities. I also learned to ask for help when I needed it, whether it was from teachers or classmates, which was a humbling and educational experience in itself. Socially, high school was a maze. Finding where I fit in was not immediate or easy. I joined clubs and sports teams to meet people with similar interests, which helped me form friendships. Some of these friendships fizzled out, while others grew stronger, teaching me about the qualities I valued in friendships and in myself. It was a time of self-discovery, of figuring out my interests, beliefs, and values. One of the most significant lessons from my first year was learning to embrace change. Change was constant, whether it was adapting to new teachers’ styles, the evolving dynamics of friendships, or my own personal growth. I learned that change wasn’t something to fear but to embrace as an opportunity for growth. It taught me resilience, the ability to bounce back from setbacks and to keep moving forward, even when things didn’t go as planned. Reflecting on my first year of high school, I realize it was a year of growth, challenges, and invaluable lessons. It was the beginning of understanding who I am and who I want to become. High school is a journey of transformation, and my first year laid the foundation for the rest of my high school experience. It taught me that while change is inevitable, how I respond to it is within my control. This realization has empowered me to face the future with optimism and an open heart, ready for whatever comes my way.

Personal Essay about Yourself

A Tapestry of Memories: My Story Life, in its essence, is a collection of moments, each thread in the tapestry of our existence weaving a unique story. My story is one of resilience, curiosity, and the relentless pursuit of passion, marked by moments of triumph and trials that have shaped me into who I am today. Born into a family that valued education and hard work above all, I was taught from a young age that the pursuit of knowledge was not just a journey but a responsibility. My childhood was filled with books and the encouragement to question, explore, and dream. This instilled in me a deep-seated love for learning, whether it was understanding the mechanics behind a toy car or unraveling the mysteries of the stars. My parents, my first and forever teachers, nurtured this curiosity, teaching me that every question had an answer and every problem a solution. However, life has its way of testing our mettle. During my teenage years, I faced a significant health challenge that threatened to derail my academic and personal life. Days in the hospital and long periods of recovery became my routine, turning my world upside down. This period was a crucible, testing my resilience and forcing me to find strength I never knew I had. It was a stark reminder of the fragility of life but also a powerful lesson in perseverance. I learned to adapt, to find joy in the smallest of victories, and to keep moving forward, even when the path was obscured by uncertainty. My passion for learning transformed into a love for writing as I navigated through these trials. Writing became my solace, a way to express the whirlwind of emotions and to document my journey through recovery. It was through this medium that I discovered my voice and the power of storytelling. Writing allowed me to step outside my circumstances and to see my story as part of a larger narrative of hope and resilience. It became a catalyst for my recovery, offering a sense of purpose and direction. As I emerged from this challenging chapter, my perspective on life had irrevocably changed. I realized that our experiences, both good and bad, are not just isolated incidents but stepping stones in our journey of personal growth. This realization fueled my desire to make a difference, to use my experiences and my voice to inspire others facing their own battles. Today, I stand as a testament to the power of resilience, the importance of curiosity, and the strength found in vulnerability. My journey has taught me that while we cannot control every aspect of our lives, we can choose how we respond to the challenges we face. I have chosen to face mine with optimism, courage, and an unwavering commitment to growth. In sharing my story, I hope to light a spark in others, to encourage them to embrace their own journeys with courage and to remind them that they are not alone in their struggles. Life is an intricate tapestry of memories, and each of us has a unique story to tell. My story is one of countless threads in the vast tapestry of human experience, a reminder that our stories, in all their complexity and beauty, are what truly make us who we are.

Personal Essay Ideas & Topics with Samples to Edit & Download

  • How do you handle fear
  • My best friend essay
  • The impact of family traditions
  • A place you try to avoid
  • An event that changed your life
  • Childhood memories
  • Describe a person you admire
  • Had a Dream Come True
  • How do you make hard decisions
  • The best moment of your life
  • What is a book you love
  • Your bravest moment
  • A row with my peers
  • What makes you proud

Personal Essay Examples & Templates

Personal narrative essay template.

Personal Narrative Essay Template

Personal Interview Essay Template

Personal Interview Essay Template1

Personal Reflective Essay Template

Personal Reflective Essay Template1

Scholarship Personal Sample

Scholarship Personal Sample

studyabroad.wisc.edu

Personal Narrative

Personal Narrative

msmcclure.com

Nursing Essay Example

Nursing Essay Example

ukessays.com

Personal Descriptive

Personal Descriptive1

factmonster.com

Personal Reflective Example

Personal Reflective Example

tailoredessays.com

Short Personal Essay

Short Personal Essay

zimbardo.com

Personal Experience

Personal Experience

essaylib.com

Statement Essay Sample

Statement Essay Sample

ibabbleon.com

Importance of a Personal Essay

Essays, in general, covers different topics. A personal essay may discuss about prominent people or the writer himself/herself. Like other essays, a personal essay is basically written to inform the readers. You may also see tips for writing an effective essay .

Writing a conclusion for essay helps a writer practice the expression of personal opinion. It also helps in improving the writer’s skill in communicating with the readers. Because a personal essay is a mixture of facts and opinions on a particular matter, the readers may be able to learn about such topic while at the same time learning about the writer’s opinion.

In an application writing , a personal essay can help an individual inform the admission committee about his/her qualifications for a certain job or school admission.

How to Write Personal Essay

Writing a personal essay is a journey into your own experiences, emotions, and insights. It’s an opportunity to share your story, reflect on your life’s events, and express your unique perspective. Here’s a comprehensive guide to crafting a compelling personal essay.

1. Choose Your Topic

  • Reflect on Your Experiences : Think about moments in your life that have shaped who you are. These can be milestones, challenges, triumphs, or even everyday occurrences that hold special meaning.
  • Identify Your Message : Determine the insight or message you want to convey through your story. What do you want the reader to learn or feel?

2. Create an Outline

  • Introduction : Start with a hook to grab the reader’s attention, followed by a brief overview of the story you will tell. Conclude with a thesis statement that encapsulates the main theme of your essay.
  • Body Paragraphs : Outline each paragraph with a main idea that supports your thesis. Include specific details, experiences, and reflections.
  • Conclusion : Plan to tie your narrative together, restate your thesis in a new light, and leave the reader with something to think about.

3. Write with Authenticity and Emotion

  • Be Honest : Authenticity resonates with readers. Share your true thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
  • Show, Don’t Tell : Use descriptive language to show the reader what happened and how it affected you. Include sensory details to bring your story to life.

4. Structure Your Essay

  • Introduction : Begin with an engaging hook. Provide background information and introduce the central theme or question of your essay.
  • Body Paragraphs : Each paragraph should focus on a specific event or aspect of your story. Use transitions to smoothly connect ideas and maintain flow.
  • Conclusion : Reflect on the story and its implications. Highlight how the experiences have shaped you or changed your perspective.

5. Edit and Revise

  • Take a Break : After writing your first draft, take some time away from it. This will help you return with a fresh perspective.
  • Read Aloud : Reading your essay out loud can help you catch awkward phrasing and grammatical errors.
  • Seek Feedback : Share your essay with trusted friends or mentors. Constructive feedback can offer new insights and help improve your writing.
  • Revise : Focus on clarity, coherence, and conciseness. Ensure each sentence serves a purpose and supports your thesis.

6. Pay Attention to the Details

  • Follow Guidelines : If you’re writing for a specific purpose (like a college application), make sure to follow any given instructions or word limits.
  • Check Grammar and Spelling : Use tools or have someone proofread your essay to catch any mistakes.

7. Reflect on Your Growth

A personal essay is not just about recounting events; it’s about showing how those events have led to personal growth or a change in perspective. Reflect on what you’ve learned and how you’ve changed.

8. Conclusion

Writing a personal essay is an opportunity to delve into your own story and share it with the world. It requires introspection, honesty, and a willingness to be vulnerable. By following these steps, you can craft an essay that not only tells your story but also touches the hearts and minds of your readers. Remember, the most powerful essays come from a place of truth and a desire to communicate genuinely.

What are the Essential Elements of Personal Essay

1. a clear theme or thesis.

  • Every personal essay should have a central theme or thesis that guides the narrative. This theme is the essay’s underlying message or insight that you wish to convey to your readers. It should be evident throughout the essay, providing coherence and unity to your story.

2. A Strong Opening

  • The opening of your essay should immediately engage the reader. It can be a provocative question, a striking anecdote, a vivid description, or an intriguing statement. The goal is to pique the reader’s interest and set the tone for the rest of the essay.

3. Personal Experience and Anecdotes

  • The heart of a personal essay lies in the author’s experiences. Detailed anecdotes and personal stories not only make the essay relatable but also help to illustrate the essay’s main theme. These narratives should be vivid, descriptive, and emotive, allowing readers to see through the author’s eyes.

4. Authentic Voice

  • A personal essay should reflect the unique voice and personality of the author. It’s an opportunity to express yourself in a personal and intimate manner. Your voice should be consistent throughout the essay, giving readers a sense of who you are.

5. Reflective Insight

  • Beyond narrating events, a personal essay should delve into what these experiences mean to the author. It involves analyzing events, drawing lessons, and reflecting on the impact these have had on your life or perspective. This reflective insight differentiates a personal essay from mere storytelling.

6. Emotional Resonance

  • Emotional resonance helps to connect with the reader on a deeper level. By sharing feelings, vulnerabilities, and personal struggles, you invite the reader into your world. The ability to evoke empathy or emotional response is a powerful tool in personal essays.

7. A Thoughtful Conclusion

  • The conclusion of a personal essay should not only wrap up the narrative but also leave the reader with something to ponder. It could be a reflection on the journey, insights gained, or questions raised by the essay. A strong conclusion reinforces the essay’s theme and echoes the emotional or intellectual impact of your story.

8. Clear, Concise Language

  • While personal essays are expressive, they also benefit from clear, concise language. Avoid overly complex sentences or unnecessary jargon. The goal is to communicate your story and insights in an accessible and engaging manner.

9. Craftsmanship in Writing

  • Attention to the craft of writing—such as the use of vivid imagery, metaphorical language, and a well-structured narrative—can significantly enhance the impact of a personal essay. It’s not just what you say but how you say it that matters.

Tips and Guidelines in Writing a Personal Essay

A personal essay can be written for different purposes. An effectively written personal essay has the ability to inform the readers, while at the same time, inspiring them. In writing a personal essay (or essay examples in doc ), a writer must keep the following things in mind.

1. Pick a topic.

Choose a topic that is both timely and significant in your area. Your life story can also be considered as a great topic in writing your personal essay. You may also see personal essay examples & samples.

2. Determine the focus.

You cannot cover everything, so find an angle which you can focus on.

3. Know the purpose.

See if you can satisfy your purpose in writing your composition.

4. Create an outline.

Essay   Outlines provide a better division and organization of ideas. This gives the writer a direction on what to focus on.

5. Write the draft.

With a draft, you will be able to write without hesitations or restrictions.

6. Provide the facts.

Research on the topic you want to write about and provide the facts. You may also like samples of formal essays .

7. Share your opinions.

Share what you think about the topic.

8. Be consistent.

Remain focused on your topic throughout your whole composition.

9. Write simply and briefly.

Using simple language will enable you to explain your topic clearly, at the same time helping you to effectively shorten your sentences and paragraph. You may also check out analytical essay examples & samples.

10. Edit your essay.

Improve your short essay by rechecking and reviewing for errors.

Twitter

Text prompt

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Write a Personal Essay on a life-changing experience.

Discuss a moment of failure and what you learned from it in your Personal Essay.

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Writing a Personal Statement

Wellesley Career Education logo

Preparing to Write

Brainstorming, don't forget, sample prompts.

A personal statement is a narrative essay that connects your background, experiences, and goals to the mission, requirements, and desired outcomes of the specific opportunity you are seeking. It is a critical component in the selection process, whether the essay is for a competitive internship, a graduate fellowship, or admittance to a graduate school program. It gives the selection committee the best opportunity to get to know you, how you think and make decisions, ways in which past experiences have been significant or formative, and how you envision your future. Personal statements can be varied in form; some are given a specific prompt, while others are less structured. However, in general a personal statement should answer the following questions:

  • Who are you?
  • What are your goals?
  • How does this specific program/opportunity help you achieve your goals?
  • What is in the future?

A personal statement is not:

  • A variation of your college admissions essay
  • An academic/research paper
  • A narrative version of your resume
  • A creative writing piece (it can be creative, though)
  • An essay about somebody else

Keep in mind that your statement is only a portion of the application and should be written with this in mind. Your entire application package will include some, possibly all, of the materials listed below. You will want to consider what these pieces of the application communicate about you. Your personal statement should aim to tie everything together and fill in or address any gaps. There will likely be some overlap but be sure not to be too repetitive.

  • Personal Statement(s)
  • Transcripts
  • Letters of recommendations
  • Sample of written work
  • Research proposal

For a quick overview of personal statements, you might begin by watching this "5 Minute Fellowships" video!

If you are writing your first personal statement or working to improve upon an existing personal statement, the video below is a helpful, in-depth resource.

A large portion of your work towards completing a personal statement begins well before your first draft or even an outline. It is incredibly important to be sure you understand all of the rules and regulations around the statement. Things to consider before you begin writing:

  • How many prompts? And what are they? It is important to know the basics so you can get your ideas in order. Some programs will require a general statement of interest and a focused supplementary or secondary statement closely aligned with the institution's goals.
  • Are there formatting guidelines? Single or double spaced, margins, fonts, text sizes, etc. Our general guideline is to keep it simple.
  • How do I submit my statement(s)? If uploading a document we highly suggest using a PDF as it will minimize the chances of accidental changes to formatting. Some programs may event ask you to copy and paste into a text box.
  • When do I have to submit my statement(s)? Most are due at the time of application but some programs, especially medical schools, will ask for secondary statements a few months after you apply. In these instances be sure to complete them within two weeks, any longer is an indication that you aren't that interested in the institution.

Below is a second 5 Minute Fellowships video that can help you get started!

Before you start writing, take some time to reflect on your experiences and motivations as they relate to the programs to which you are applying. This will offer you a chance to organize your thoughts which will make the writing process much easier. Below are a list of questions to help you get started:

  • What individuals, experiences or events have shaped your interest in this particular field?
  • What has influenced your decision to apply to graduate school?
  • How does this field align with your interests, strengths, and values?
  • What distinguishes you from other applicants?
  • What would you bring to this program/profession?
  • What has prepared you for graduate study in this field? Consider your classes at Wellesley, research and work experience, including internships, summer jobs and volunteer work.
  • Why are you interested in this particular institution or degree program?
  • How is this program distinct from others?
  • What do you hope to gain?
  • What is motivating you to seek an advanced degree now?
  • Where do you see yourself headed and how will this degree program help you get there?

For those applying to Medical School, if you need a committee letter for your application and are using the Medical Professions Advisory Committee you have already done a lot of heavy lifting through the 2017-2018 Applicant Information Form . Even if you aren't using MPAC the applicant information form is a great place to start.

Another great place to start is through talking out your ideas. You have a number of options both on and off campus, such as: Career Education advisors and mentors ( you can set up an appointment here ), major advisor, family, friends. If you are applying to a graduate program it is especially important to talk with a faculty member in the field. Remember to take good notes so you can refer to them later.

When you begin writing keep in mind that your essay is one of many in the application pool. This is not to say you should exaggerate your experiences to “stand out” but that you should focus on clear, concise writing. Also keep in mind that the readers are considering you not just as a potential student but a future colleague. Be sure to show them examples and experiences which demonstrate you are ready to begin their program.

It is important to remember that your personal statement will take time and energy to complete, so plan accordingly. Every application and statement should be seen as different from one another, even if they are all the same type of program. Each institution may teach you the same material but their delivery or focus will be slightly different.

In addition, remember:

  • Be yourself: You aren’t good at being someone else
  • Tragedy is not a requirement, reflection and depth are
  • Research the institution or organization
  • Proofread, proofread, proofread
  • How to have your personal statement reviewed

The prompts below are from actual applications to a several types of programs. As you will notice many of them are VERY general in nature. This is why it is so important to do your research and reflect on your motivations. Although the prompts are similar in nature the resulting statements would be very different depending on the discipline and type of program, as well as your particular background and reasons for wanting to pursue this graduate degree.

  • This statement should illustrate your academic background and experiences and explain why you would excel in the Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering (UMass Amherst - M.S. in Civil Engineering).
  • Describe your academic and career objectives and how the Yale School of Forestry and Environmental Studies can help you achieve them. Include other considerations that explain why you seek admissions to the Yale School of Forestry and Environmental Studies and your interests in the environmental field (Yale - Master of Environmental Management).  
  • Please discuss your academic interests and goals. Include your current professional and research interests, as well as your long-range professional objectives. Please be as specific as possible about how your objectives can be met at Clark and do not exceed 800 words (Clark University - M.A. in International Development and Social Change).
  • Write a 500- to 700-word statement that describes your work or research. Discuss how you came to focus on the medium, body of work, or academic area you wish to pursue at the graduate level. Also discuss future directions or goals for your work, and describe how the Master of Fine Arts in Studio (Printmedia) is particularly suited to your professional goals (School of the Art Institute of Chicago - MFA in Studio, Printmaking).
  • Your statement should explain why you want to study economics at the graduate level. The statement is particularly important if there is something unusual about your background and preparation that you would like us to know about you (University of Texas at Austin - Ph.D in Economics).
  • Your personal goal statement is an important part of the review process for our faculty members as they consider your application. They want to know about your background, work experience, plans for graduate study and professional career, qualifications that make you a strong candidate for the program, and any other relevant information (Indiana University Bloomington - M.S.Ed. in Secondary Education).
  • Your autobiographical essay/personal statement is a narrative that outlines significant experiences in your life, including childhood experiences, study and work, your strengths and aspirations in the field of architecture, and why you want to come to the University of Oregon (University of Oregon - Master of Architecture).
  • Personal history and diversity statement, in which you describe how your personal background informs your decision to pursue a graduate degree. You may refer to any educational, familial, cultural, economic or social experiences, challenges, community service, outreach activities, residency and citizenship, first-generation college status, or opportunities relevant to your academic journey; how your life experiences contribute to the social, intellectual or cultural diversity within a campus community and your chosen field; or how you might serve educationally underrepresented and underserved segments of society with your graduate education (U.C. Davis - M.A. in Linguistics).
  • A Personal Statement specifying your past experiences, reasons for applying, and your areas of interest. It should explain your intellectual and personal goals, why you are interested in pursuing an interdisciplinary degree rather than a more traditional disciplinary one, and how this degree fits into your intellectual and personal future (Rutgers University - Ph.D in Women’s and Gender Studies).
  • Your application requires a written statement to uploaded into your application and is a critical component of your application for admission. This is your opportunity to tell us what excites you about the field of library and information science, and what problems you want to help solve in this field. Please also tell us how your prior experiences have prepared you for this next step toward your career goals and how this program will help you achieve them (University of North Carolina Chapel Hill - Master of Science in Library Science).
  • After watching the video, please describe what strengths and preferences as a learner you have that will facilitate your success in this innovative curriculum. What challenges in our curriculum do you anticipate and what strategies might you use to address these challenges? (MGH Institute of Health Professions PT - They recently redesigned their curriculum)
  • Your personal goal statement should briefly describe how you view the future of the field, what your goals are to be part of that future, and what brought you to pursue an advanced education degree in your chosen field. You may include any other information that you feel might be useful. (Northeastern PT)
  • Personal Statement: In 500 words or less, describe a meaningful educational experience that affected your professional goals and growth and explain how it impacted you. The educational experience does not need to be related to this degree. Focus on the educational experience and not why you think you would be a good professional in this field. (Simmons PT)
  • Personal Statement (500 word minimum): State your reasons for seeking admission to this program at this institution. Include your professional goals, why you want to pursue a career in this field and how admission to this program will assist you in accomplishing those goals. (Regis College Nursing)
  • “Use the space provided to explain why you want to go to this type of program.” (AMCAS)
  • Address the following three questions(Though there is no set limit, most statements are 1–2 pages, single-spaced.): What are your reasons for pursuing this degree? Why do you wish to pursue your degree at this institution? How do you intend to leverage your degree in a career of this field? (Boston University MPH)
  • Please submit a personal statement/statement of purpose of no more than 500 words for the department/degree of choice. Professional degree essays require a clear understanding of the _______ field and how you hope to work within the field. Be sure to proofread your personal statement carefully for spelling and grammar. In your statement, be sure to address the following: what interests you in the field of _____ what interests you in a specific degree program and department at this institution and what interests you in a particular certificate (if applicable). Please also describe how you hope to use your ________ training to help you achieve your career goals. (Columbia PhD in Public Health - Epidemiology)
  • Because each Home Program requires significant original research activities in fulfillment of the requirements for the degree, we are interested in obtaining as much information as possible about your previous research experiences. Those who already have such experience are in a better position to know whether they are truly interested in performing ______ research as part of a graduate program. Please include specific information about your research experience in your Statement of Purpose. You may also use the Statement to amplify your comments about your choice of Home Program(s), and how your past experiences and current interests are related to your choice. Personal Statements should not exceed two pages in length (single spaced). Make sure to set your computer to Western European or other English-language setting. We cannot guarantee the ability to access your statement if it is submitted in other fonts. (Stanford Biosciences PhD)
  • Your statement of purpose should describe succinctly your reasons for applying to the Department of ____ at ___ University. It would be helpful to include what you have done to prepare for this degree program. Please describe your research interests, past research experience, future career plans and other details of your background and interests that will allow us to evaluate your ability to thrive in our program. If you have interests that align with a specific faculty member, you may state this in your application. Your statement of purpose should not exceed two pages in length (single spaced). (Stanford Bioengineering PhD)
  • Statement of purpose (Up to one page or 1,000 words): Rather than a research proposal, you should provide a statement of purpose. Your statement should be written in English and explain your motivation for applying for the course at this institution and your relevant experience and education. Please provide an indication of the area of your proposed research and supervisor(s) in your statement. This will be assessed for the coherence of the statement; evidence of motivation for and understanding of the proposed area of study; the ability to present a reasoned case in English; and commitment to the subject. (Oxford Inorganic Chemistry - DPhil)

Related resources

How to Write a Personal Essay: Topics, Structure, & Examples

Even though a personal essay seems like something you might need to write only for your college application, people who graduated a while ago are asked to write it. Therefore, if you are a student, you might even want to save this article for later!

A personal essay is a first-person narrative that describes a writer’s life experience and its influence . You may think that writing such an essay is easy-peasy. There is so much freedom regarding the topic, isn’t it? However, soon enough, you realize that it’s more of a curse than a blessing. Custom-writing.org experts understand it’s super confusing as you don’t know where to start. But this simple yet comprehensive guide on how to write a personal essay is here to help you out!

❔ What Is a Personal Essay?

🚦 how do you start a personal essay.

  • 🙋 Essay Topics
  • 📑 Personal Essay Types

🔗 References

A personal essay is just what you think it is: a piece of writing that presents some experience from your perspective . It doesn’t need to be extraordinary, but it has to show how you changed thanks to the experience you got. Such an essay also creates a feeling of intimacy.

A typical personal essay consists of a 1-paragraph introduction, a 3-paragraph body, and a 1-paragraph conclusion.

Long story short, it is a first-person narrative that describes a writer’s life experience and its influence. This type of essay allows you to use any writing style you want and usually has an informal tone. It helps the reader to gain a connection with you.

There is a wide variety of topic options: you may want your writing to be inspiring or, on the contrary, warning so that others could avoid your mistakes. However, the most important thing is sticking to the general guidelines.

The most popular personal essay outline would consist of three parts:

  • Start with an introduction . It should include only one paragraph
  • Continue with the main body . It should be at least three paragraphs long
  • Write a conclusion . Don’t make it too long, one paragraph is enough

Let’s also note that typically you would write a personal essay as a part of the college application process. However, it’s not rare that this type of writing can help employers understand if the candidate meets the job requirements.

👀 Personal Essay Examples

To give you some inspiration, we included a list of excellent examples ranked as the most successful personal essays by The New York Times , The New Yorker , and America’s top universities.

🥇 by Jeniffer KimA heart-breaking short story about parents’ love: a girl was ashamed of how scruffy her mom always looks, but it suddenly changed. She realized that her mother was sacrificing a lot to provide for her daughter, which made her seem tired and shabby.
🥇 by JessIt’s another excellent example of a personal essay rated by the admissions committee. Such a simple thing as a cooking experience allowed the readers to see that Jess is not afraid of failure and loves trying something new.
🥇 by James MarcusIt is a personal story revealing the author’s point of view on divorces and marriages. His story is so unique that it got distinguished by The New Yorker.

The first and the most important thing you need to do when you are about to write a personal essay is to determine its purpose . When you know your audience, it becomes easier to find an appropriate topic for your writing. After that, you can draft an outline, which is the foundation of your future essay!

✔️ Do that several times. Your complete writing depends on it! for college admissions are different from the ones you would write for a job application. Moreover, some writers even use this format to share their stories with readers.
✔️ Next, think about how long your essay should be. Again, it would depend on its purpose. Now, you are free to pick the topic! There are a lot of techniques that can help you come up with some brilliant ideas, such as brainstorming and free writing.
✔️ Generally speaking, there are not many limitations on what you can write about. However, keep in mind that if your personal statement is intended for your potential employer, try to avoid topics that might harm your reputation. If your objective is getting a scholarship, don’t be afraid of asking your supervisor for help.

🙋 Personal Essay Topics

By now, you might have understood the idea of the personal statement. Your goal is to show off your personality from the good side. However, there is an endless amount of options on how to do it. The most popular way is to tell the story from the past. It can be either something you achieved or an obstacle you managed to overcome. Either way, it needs to highlight the lesson you learned.

Next, you can make your writing even more inspirational by revealing your future goals, showing that you have potential and determination. But remember to focus on things that the whole community can benefit from because just getting rich is a lame objective!

Last but not least, be yourself and use creativity! Show your potential employers and college administration how much you can contribute to their development. You should convince them that it can be a mutually beneficial experience.

Here, we prepared some of the best personal essay topics for you:

  • How did the most significant loss of your life make you stronger?
  • Who would you like to switch live with, and why?
  • The time when you think you made the wrong choice.
  • How would you spend a million dollars?
  • Is there anything you have never shared with anyone?
  • A special friend that influenced your life.
  • One morning that has changed your life forever.
  • The time when you had to deliver devastating news.
  • A near-death experience and how it felt.
  • Describe the longest minute of your life.
  • Something you can’t resist and keep doing.
  • A meaningful event that is hard to explain.
  • Would you start a charity foundation if you could?
  • The most precious gift you ever received.
  • The wrong choice you never regret making.
  • A secret place that gives you peace of mind.
  • Something you’ve seen and wish you could forget.
  • A hidden talent no one knows you have.
  • A day when you felt like the unluckiest person in the world.
  • The most beautiful thing you’ve seen.
  • A skill you have that robots will never learn to do.
  • What is the one thing you want to change about yourself?
  • Where would you like to live?
  • The most important discovery you made.
  • What if you were a teacher?
  • The most fantastic movie scene that changed the world.
  • What would you like to change in schools?
  • Describe something you love about yourself and why.
  • Where do you see yourself in ten years?
  • Time with your family that you cherish the most.
  • The achievement you’re proud of.
  • Describe the time when you learned something from a child.
  • The words that made you hopeful again.
  • Write about the time when you were at the bottom.
  • A stranger that had an influence on you.
  • What would you do if you could go back in time?
  • Would you like to redo something in your life, would you?
  • The superpower you wish you had.
  • The person you would be grateful to at the end of your life.
  • The time when you avoided danger.
  • Family celebrations, and what do they mean to you?
  • Write about the time when you saw your mother crying.
  • Did you disappoint anyone?
  • Is there anyone you are not fond of?
  • A place that you try to keep away from.
  • How did you overcome your fear?
  • The most challenging choice you had to make.
  • The time you felt like an outsider.
  • When did you realize you’re not a child anymore?
  • Why does your hobby interest you?

📑 Personal Essay about Yourself: Main Types

Personal essays on hobbies.

Writing an essay on a hobby is not as easy as it seems. Take a look at any hobbies essay sample, and you will be likely to see a widespread thing: these essays can be boring, which is an easy way to get a low grade.

Below are some common problems with hobby essays (and their solutions).

❌ Problem✔️ Solution
The writer didn’t explain the hobby well enough for the reader to understand it.Try to determine if a random reader would understand your hobby. If not, include more detail. If your hobby is a rare one, you will need to have more information.
The reader does not see why you enjoy the hobby.The purpose of a hobby essay is not to describe the things you love to do with every detail. The task is to show yourself by explaining your interest. Most importantly, you should explain why you love your hobby. Do that emotionally.
Your hobby essay does not stand out from other papers.Focus on a unique hobby or a unique reason you became interested in a standard hobby. Perhaps your teacher has already read 15 . If you think the story of your love for your top hobby is generic, think of another personal essay topic to write about.

No matter what, make sure the focus is on you. When you are writing about a personal hobby, you should aim to make yourself the star by essentially telling your reader about yourself through an interest of yours.

Life-changing Experience Essays

The purpose of a life-changing experience essay is obvious: simply put, you need to tell the reader about a specific event that changed your life . Note that it also works for a closely related type of essay, the personal narrative essay .

Three essential elements should be clear to readers of any life-changing experience writing:

  • The reader should understand the event — both what happened and how it made you feel at the time.
  • The reader should understand what the event changed about you. It is best to tell the reader about your condition before the event and after it. However, this depends on the essay’s length.
  • The reader should understand how you feel about the event now.

If you need personal experience essay ideas, focus on events that you can write about to meet the three above criteria. If your assignment is very free form, take a look at a list of prompts for personal writing.

Education Essays

As a student, you will be asked to write an education essay eventually. It is important to remember that personal writing is about setting yourself apart. Tell the reader what made your educational experience unique.

How can you make your educational essay stand out? First, go beyond generic stories of overcoming an academic weakness by avoiding essays that take the following form: “I was terrible at subject X, but through hard work, I became quite excellent at subject X!”

Instead, focus on an assignment or subject that captured your attention — the more unusual the situation, the better. Use storytelling to enhance your essay. The best education essays can be essays about life-changing education experiences; for example, many great educational stories focus on the teacher or class that changed the author’s life.

Biographies

Writing a short biography is easy. All you need to do is to use a very basic biography template. But first: remember that you need to keep the attention of your reader. Tell a good story about yourself ! Learning how to write a biography is about learning how to tell a good story .

A Biography Template

A solid biography is a solid story. For this reason, the biography template is essentially the template of a well-crafted story, which is typically divided into three specific parts:

  • Establish the characters. In this case, these are people that play important roles in your life. For example, if your autobiographical essay includes family members, you need to describe them briefly before anything exciting happens.
  • Build tension. If you write about your family, you can describe a problem that exists there.
  • Describe a resolution. Not that it is not the same thing as a problem being solved. For example, when a loved one dies, there is no solution to that problem. Instead, you grieve and learn to live without that person in your life.

If your biography manages to achieve all three of these elements, you will indeed have one of the class’s strongest essays.

Personal Statements

The last type of personal writing is probably the most important. When faced with their first college application, most students go to the web to find a personal statement format.

If you learn from examples, the best thing to do is check out several strong personal statement examples. As mentioned in the second section, many universities post essays from accepted students. Or perhaps you should read a breakdown of portions of a personal statement. The point is, read what others have done for inspiration.

Sometimes colleges offer personal statement templates. However, they often use freeform personal statements to identify focused, articulate students. Thus, the top tip for these is to write a clear thesis statement . A thesis statement for an essay without a prompt should be so clear that it sounds like it addresses a writing prompt. When there is no prompt, this is the time you should specifically use the standard 5-paragraph essay . Your discipline will impress your readers, which is exactly what you want.

However, an open-ended essay prompt is sometimes just too much to handle in time, but that is alright. It happens to everyone, and our writing experts can help, luckily. You can work with one of their expert writers or editors to create the perfect personal essay.

  • Personal Essays – Georgia Tech Admissions
  • The Personal Statement // Purdue Writing Lab
  • Application Essays – UNC Writing Center
  • How To: Write Your Personal Essay
  • Essays | Penn Admissions
  • Writing the Personal Statement | Berkeley Graduate Division
  • Personal Insight Questions – UCLA Undergraduate Admission
  • Essay Topics | Yale College Undergraduate Admissions
  • Complete Your Application: Indiana University Bloomington
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Blog | Blueprint Prep

Crafting Your Personal Statement for Residency: Examples and Critique

Dr. Mike Ren

  • August 22, 2024
  • balance|ERAS|Residency
  • Reviewed by: Amy Rontal, MD

In this post we review personal statement for residency examples, so you can get a sense of the do’s and don’ts when it comes to writing a good statement.

If you’re starting on your ERAS personal statement, chances are you’re struggling with your “hook” (or introductory paragraph). We get it—”blank page syndrome” is real!

Rather than turning to ChatGPT to write your essay for you, we’re here to help you get over writer’s block with a full personal statement example, plus some tips to help you critique your own!

Take this intro for example:*

“Imagine this scenario: I am standing in the ER at 2 a.m., surrounded by chaos, with a critically ill patient in front of me . In this moment, everything I have learned about medicine seems to converge. I am brought back to a fateful summer evening when I was five years old, sitting beside my younger sister as she struggled to breathe, her severe asthma casting a shadow of fear over our family.

The helplessness I felt then mirrors the urgency I now face in the ER, but back then, the calm expertise of the pediatrician who brought relief to my sister left a profound impact on me. Those early experiences planted the seed of a calling that has grown through every life-altering moment since, shaping me into a physician who thrives in the very situations others shy away from. My journey into medicine wasn’t just a decision—it was a path forged by an early experience that led to a strong desire to help children and parents through challenging moments of their lives. Here’s why I am uniquely prepared to take on the challenges of residency.”

Why do I characterize this as a good introductory paragraph for a residency personal statement? Ask yourself: 

  • Does it grab your attention?
  • Does it hint what specialty the applicant is applying for?
  • Does it make you want to continue reading?

This introduction does a good job at all three, which is essential for your residency personal statement. 

We’ll dive into the rest of the essay shortly and give it a full review, but first, let’s first take a quick look at why your personal statement is such an important part of your application, plus some general “do’s” and “don’ts” when it comes to writing your own. 

* The personal statement included in this post is a sample created for illustrative purposes only. The content and details provided are fictional and do not reflect any real individuals or their personal statements. However, the advice and guidelines demonstrated in this sample are based on real and applicable best practices for an effective personal statement.

Personal Statement for Residency: Examples of What Makes a Strong Essay

Crafting a standout personal statement for your ERAS application is crucial. This is your opportunity to present yourself as more than just grades and scores—your personal statement allows you to convey your unique background and journey into medicine, your drive and passion for the field, along with your suitability for the specialty you’re applying to. 

Let’s begin with the “do’s” when it comes to writing a personal statement. 

1. Weave a story with a compelling narrative.

As we saw with our sample introductory paragraph, it’s good to share a personal story or experience that inspired your interest in the specialty. This could be a patient interaction, a research experience, or a personal health journey. Make sure to tie it to whichever medical speciality you apply to. 

2. Reflect and answer the question: why this specialty?

Delve into the reasons you’re drawn to the specialty you’re pursuing. Think about and share the moments in your medical training that resonated with you and reinforced your desire to pursue this particular field. Was it the complexity of cases in internal medicine, the immediacy of care and decision making in emergency medicine, or the holistic approach in family medicine that attracted you?

Share a specific experience, clinical rotation, or patient interaction that solidified your interest. Show, don’t just tell, by which I mean instead of stating you’re compassionate or dedicated, illustrate these traits through specific examples. Describe how a particular event (or events) shaped your perspective on medicine.

3. Explain any red flags and showcase personal growth and development.

Mention any significant challenges or setbacks and how you overcame them, demonstrating resilience and adaptability, which are key traits for any resident. Discuss how adversity added layers to your character, and while addressing weaknesses in your application , do so honestly and reflect on what you learned from those experiences.

4. Highlight specific skills and qualities. 

Consider the skills and qualities that are particularly important in your chosen specialty. Are you a strong communicator, adept at working in teams, or particularly skilled in procedures? Provide examples of how you’ve demonstrated these skills in your clinical experiences.

5. Discuss your personal interests. 

Don’t shy away from discussing your interests outside of medicine if they contribute to your unique perspective or approach to healthcare. Whether it’s a passion for global health, a background in engineering, or a dedication to community service, these aspects can differentiate you from other candidates.

Alternatively, you can articulate your career goals and how the residency program will help you achieve them. Whether you aim to work in academic medicine, contribute to public health, or specialize further, make sure your goals are specific and aligned with the training the program offers.

6. Have a strong concluding paragraph. 

End your personal statement with a strong closing that ties back to your introduction. Reinforce your passion for the specialty and express enthusiasm about the possibility of contributing to and growing within the residency program.

7. Ensure your statement is free of grammatical errors, typos, and is clearly written. 

Have multiple sets of eyes review it for clarity and impact. 

Personal Statement for Residency: Examples of Pitfalls to Avoid

And now, let’s review the “don’ts” when it comes to writing your residency personal statement. 

Be sure to avoid the following: 

1. Don’t rehash your CV.

There’s no need for your personal statement to be a reiteration of your medical CV . Instead, focus on experiences that have profoundly shaped your career choices or that demonstrate your values and personality. Provide insight into your motivations and reflections that cannot be gleaned from your CV alone.

2. Avoid clichés or generic statements. 

Phrases like “I’ve always wanted to be a doctor” or “I’m a hard worker” are overused and don’t differentiate you from other applicants. Such statements don’t provide any new or unique information about you.

Instead, try to be specific and personal. Use anecdotes that illustrate your qualities and experiences, and explain how these moments have contributed to your decision to pursue a particular specialty and what you can contribute to the program. 

3. Don’t be overly humble or self-deprecating. 

While it’s important to avoid arrogance, being excessively humble or self-critical can undermine your accomplishments and suggest a lack of confidence. Residency programs are looking for candidates who can recognize their strengths.

Strike a balance by confidently discussing your achievements, while acknowledging areas where you continue to grow. Show that you’re self-aware and willing to learn, but also that you’re proud of your accomplishments.

4. Don’t ignore the specialty you’re applying for.

Failing to tailor your personal statement to the specific residency program or specialty can make you appear indifferent or undecided. Generic statements about the field of medicine suggest a lack of genuine interest or understanding of the specialty.

Instead, research the specialty and the specific program you’re applying to, and clearly articulate why you’re drawn to it. Mention aspects of the program that align with your career goals and explain why you’re a good fit.

5. Don’t write about irrelevant or inappropriate topics.

Including topics that are not relevant to your medical career, such as personal relationships, or overly dramatic life events that don’t tie into your professional journey, can distract from the purpose of the personal statement.

Rather, write about experiences and reflections that directly relate to your path in medicine and the specialty you’re pursuing. Keep the narrative professional, and ensure that every story or point you include serves to reinforce your suitability for the program.

By avoiding these common mistakes, you can craft a personal statement that is compelling, professional, and reflective of your unique journey in medicine.

ERAS Personal Statement Example 

Now that you have a bit more background on what (and what not) to do when it comes to a residency personal statement, let’s get back to our sample personal statement and review it. While fictional, the advice and guidelines demonstrated in this sample are based on real and applicable best practices for an effective personal statement. 

Here’s the full essay (again, fictional and for illustrative purposes only!):

T he helplessness I felt then mirrors the urgency I now face in the ER, but back then, the calm expertise of the pediatrician who brought relief to my sister left a profound impact on me. Those early experiences planted the seed of a calling that has grown through every life-altering moment since, shaping me into a physician who thrives in the very situations others shy away from. My journey into medicine wasn’t just a decision—it was a path forged by an early experience that led to a strong desire to help children and parents through challenging moments of their lives. Here’s why I am uniquely prepared to take on the challenges of residency.”

As I progressed through medical school, my experiences led me towards pediatrics. During my rotations, I found myself energized by the unique challenges of caring for children and deeply moved by the resilience they often showed in the face of illness. I recall one particular case I was a part of, a four-year-old boy with a complex congenital heart defect. His journey was one of numerous surgeries and hospitalizations, but through it all, his spirit remained unbroken. The bond I developed with him and his family over months of care was unlike anything I had experienced in other rotations. I realized that in pediatrics, we are not just treating the patient, but the entire family. This holistic approach to care, where empathy, patience, and communication are as crucial as clinical acumen, resonated with me deeply.

Throughout my medical training, I sought out experiences that would prepare me for a career in pediatrics. I volunteered at community health fairs, providing care and education to underserved populations, and I spent a summer working in a rural pediatric clinic, where I saw firsthand the disparities in healthcare access. These experiences reinforced my commitment to advocating for children’s health, particularly in vulnerable populations. I also pursued research in pediatric infectious diseases, contributing to a study on vaccine efficacy in immunocompromised children. This work deepened my understanding of the delicate balance between innovation in treatment and the importance of prevention in pediatrics.

What excites me most about a career in pediatrics is the opportunity to be a constant in a child’s life, helping them grow and thrive from infancy through adolescence. I am drawn to the diversity of the field, from preventive care in well-child visits to managing complex chronic conditions. I am also eager to work in a setting that values collaboration, where I can learn from a multidisciplinary team and contribute to the well-being of children in a meaningful way. I am particularly interested in pursuing a residency at a program that emphasizes community involvement and provides opportunities for advocacy and research, as I believe these are integral components of pediatric care.

I recognize that pediatrics requires not only a deep well of medical knowledge but also a capacity for empathy and patience. My experiences have equipped me with the resilience needed to face the emotional and physical demands of this field. I am committed to continuous learning and growth, and I am excited about the opportunity to develop the skills necessary to become a compassionate and effective pediatrician.

As I look ahead to the challenges and opportunities of residency, I am filled with a sense of purpose and eager to dedicate my career to the care of children and their families, to be the reassuring presence they need during difficult times, and to contribute to their health and well-being. Pediatrics is not just a specialty for me—it is the fulfillment of a lifelong passion, rooted in my earliest experiences and nurtured through years of education and training. I am ready to embark on this journey and to give my best to the children who will one day be under my care.”

Personal Statement Critique

Let’s review the essay above, so you can see what it got right and wrong. We’ll analyze it from the standpoint of the “do’s” when it comes to residency personal statements, and mention any shortcomings in connection to them.

1. Do: Start with a compelling narrative.

Success: The personal statement opens with a vivid memory from childhood, capturing the reader’s attention immediately. The story of the applicant’s sister’s asthma attack is a powerful way to illustrate early exposure to pediatrics, making it memorable and emotionally engaging. 

Critique: While the narrative is strong, it’s important to avoid over-reliance on early childhood experiences as the primary motivator for a career choice. This personal statement strikes a good balance between the applicant’s medical school experiences and early childhood memories. 

 2. Do: Reflect on your journey.

Success: The statement effectively reflects on the applicant’s journey through medical school, particularly by highlighting their connection with a pediatric patient who had a congenital heart defect. This section does a good job of showing how the applicant’s interest in pediatrics deepened through hands-on experience. 

 3. Do: Align with specialty specific values.

Success: The applicant mentions a desire to work in a residency that emphasizes community involvement, advocacy, and research, which aligns with many pediatric programs’ missions.

 4. Do: Showcase your unique qualities.

Success: The applicant highlights a range of experiences, including volunteering, rural clinic work, and research, which add depth to their profile. These experiences demonstrate a commitment to pediatrics and to serving underserved populations. 

5. Do: Finish strong. 

Success: The applicant concludes with a clear vision for their future in pediatrics, expressing a desire to contribute to the health and well-being of children through a holistic approach. 

Critique: While the vision is clear, the conclusion could be stronger by reiterating the connection between the applicant’s past experiences and future aspirations. A tie in to the intro paragraph would dovetail nicely. 

Overall, this personal statement is nice to read, with a compelling narrative and clear reflection on the applicant’s journey into pediatrics. It effectively conveys passion and a commitment to pediatric care, particularly in underserved communities.

However, it could be improved by making more connections between early experiences and current goals. There was no mention of any red flags or delays in education, which leads me to believe the applicant didn’t have any. However, if they did, then it should’ve been addressed in the personal statement. 

Final Thoughts

When writing a personal statement for residency, examples can really help illustrate what distinguishes a good essay from a bad one. Hopefully, these examples and tips give you a good sense of what should be included in your residency personal statement.

Good luck with your applications, and be sure to reach out to Blueprint’s residency counselors if you have any questions!

About the Author

Mike is a driven tutor and supportive advisor. He received his MD from Baylor College of Medicine and then stayed for residency. He has recently taken a faculty position at Baylor because of his love for teaching. Mike’s philosophy is to elevate his students to their full potential with excellent exam scores, and successful interviews at top-tier programs. He holds the belief that you learn best from those close to you in training. Dr. Ren is passionate about his role as a mentor and has taught for much of his life – as an SAT tutor in high school, then as an MCAT instructor for the Princeton Review. At Baylor, he has held review courses for the FM shelf and board exams as Chief Resident.   For years, Dr. Ren has worked closely with the office of student affairs and has experience as an admissions advisor. He has mentored numerous students entering medical and residency and keeps in touch with many of them today as they embark on their road to aspiring physicians. His supportiveness and approachability put his students at ease and provide a safe learning environment where questions and conversation flow. For exam prep, Mike will help you develop critical reasoning skills and as an advisor he will hone your interview skills with insider knowledge to commonly asked admissions questions.

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  • How to End a Personal Statement With Impact

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Your statement-ending paragraph is your last chance to make an impact, but it's essential to make sure that you summarise your main points and explain why you're qualified and willing to participate in the program with a strong ending. A compelling, realistic conclusion can give your application that extra oomph and show the admissions committee that you're the right choice. Just like writers on deadline, you might trip up on your statement's ending line. Here are some common mistakes to avoid:

  • Repeating information already covered without adding new insight
  • Introducing new ideas or topics that should have been discussed in the body
  • Using clichés or overly sentimental language that doesn't add value
  • Ending abruptly without a clear summary of your points
  • Overstating your achievements or future aspirations

How to End a Personal Statement Correctly

Ending your personal statement firmly is crucial. If you’re ever struggling with concluding your paper, a personal statement writing service can help. If you're determined to master conclusion writing, though, here's a simple, straightforward guide to crafting a compelling conclusion.

1. Reflect on Your Opening. Go back to your introduction . A good ending will often have an echo of the opening, which sits rather like a bookend to your statement. Don’t repeat your statements word-for-word, but perhaps offer a recap of the theme you developed or the little anecdote on which you started.

2. Summarise Key Points. Most guides for how to write a conclusion for a personal statement suggest that, at a minimum, students should briefly summarise the major themes they’ve discussed. Don’t simply recite facts; instead, create a sense of closure, revealing to the reader how your experiences and goals interrelate logically, culminating in your desire to join the program.

3. Connect to Your Future. Tie your story back to the opportunity at hand. Explain how the program will be important in helping you to reach your career or academic goals. Illustrate your plans to achieve these goals and make it clear that this program is included in your plan.

4. End with a Strong Closing Sentence. When concluding a personal statement, finish with a sentence that packs a punch. Show where you are headed next. It may be your word choice, your vow of commitment to the topic, or your powerful statement of passion and readiness to work in your chosen field. In any event, make it consistent with the tone and emphasis of your essay, and make it say what you need it to say about you.

5. Keep It Simple and Authentic. Resist the urge to drown readers in big words or have grandiose claims. The conclusion should sound sincere and genuine. Don’t make it too fancy or out of reach. Every sentence should add to the main point. Nothing should wander off.

steps on how to end a personal statement

Examples of Good and Bad Personal Statement Conclusions

Finishing up your personal statement can be a make-or-break moment in your application. It's your opportunity to stand out. That is why finding a good personal statement conclusion example can be helpful. Alternatively, you can consult an online writing service for some extra tips. Below, we'll look at five examples of some good and bad ways to conclude a personal statement.

Analysis Explanation
This is a powerful conclusion because it directly links the applicant’s passion to the program, demonstrating a clear and relevant goal. This conclusion is a cop-out. It sounds like the last desperate effort of someone out of ideas, and it says nothing that the applicant hasn’t already made clear.
This example of ending a personal statement predicts the applicant’s educational plans and connects them to personal development and the field. This statement is bland because it doesn’t say how the applicant hopes the program will further her goals or interests. It doesn’t say anything about the applicant at all.

This end of personal statement is gripping because it shows how the program fits into their academic and career goals. The point is made with a clear direction and goal. This is far too informal and general. There is no detail about the course of study or how it advances the student’s career path.
This personal statement ending works because it connects all the dots in the applicant’s career trajectory to the university’s resources and establishes a win-win scenario. This sounds more like a plea than a firm, confident proposition; it also doesn’t tell us about the applicant’s best qualities.
This ending of personal statement demonstrates a clear comprehension of how the program will assist in achieving the applicant’s specific aims. It is polite but doesn’t paraphrase the statement or conclude with a powerful point about the candidate’s career plans.
Here, the conclusion serves to summarise the applicant’s general aims, both in their career and academia, and to tie them to what the program offers. It sounds aspirational with a good level of detail, and it commits the applicant to the program while, at the same time, showcasing their fit with it. It is a nonspecific conclusion that fails to express a real enthusiasm for the program and a lack of specific commitment to it. The tentative language diminishes the applicant's appeal, and the absence of any assertion as to qualifications of ambition leaves it weak and cold in tone.
This example of a personal statement ending is great because it shows the candidate’s passion and how the university's resources will help realise it. It also shows ambition and a clear pathway to graduation and states why the program is necessary. This highly emotional conclusion doesn’t explain why this program appeals to the applicant’s educational and career goals. It's not a good way to end a personal statement. It’s more sentimental than strategic and relies too much on emotion.
It’s a nice way to end your statement because it links the applicant’s career aspirations directly to the School’s opportunities, explaining clearly and articulately why the applicant wants to join the program. Don’t take this approach when thinking about how to end a university personal statement. This statement is too general; it conveys neither genuine interest, let alone understanding, of what is on offer, nor a sense of enthusiasm, nor any specific grounds for selection.
This conclusion clearly communicates the applicant’s desire to learn how to innovate in the field. It sounds ambitious and shows a willingness to apply what they have learned. This conclusion for a personal statement is unprofessional. It fails to sell the candidate’s strengths, fit with the program, or provide any compelling reason that the school would benefit from his or her presence.
This conclusion sends a clear message that not only do the applicant’s educational objectives and altruistic goals fit well with the given program, but the program also fits well with the applicant’s envisioned future career. This conclusion is inappropriately informal and betrays a lack of self-confidence. It does not convey the applicant’s credentials or how the program fits professional plans.

It’s A Wrap!

As you finish your personal statement, remember that the conclusion should help tie up your argument. Our tips on how to write a personal statement will come in handy. Having read this article, you should know how to conclude a personal statement easily. Use the tips we’ve shared to craft an ending that shows off your suitability for the program. Make sure that your closing remarks remain genuine and clear-headed. This will give the admission committee a confident and positive impression of you and a sense that they know what you want to achieve.

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Personal Statement Examples: Singapore Students Admitted to Top UK and US Universities

Personal Statement Examples: Singapore Students Admitted to Top UK and US Universities

Personal statements are an essential aspect of each application. It helps demonstrate your academic interests and passion, highlight your relevant experiences, and showcase your unique identity. However, the approach is different for universities in the UK and US and knowing these differences is vital when preparing your personal statement. To guide you, we’ve included several successful personal statements and sought the expertise of Jamie Beaton , CEO of Crimson Education, to review and analyse these essays. Jamie Beaton was accepted into all 25 of the world’s top universities including Harvard, Yale, Stanford, and Cambridge. Read on to discover what makes a strong personal statement!

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How important is the personal statement?

The key thing to note with your personal statement is that it’s your chance to convey something else about yourself in your application . It’s an opportunity to sell yourself and connect with the admissions officer that is reading your essay!

If you’re applying to the UK , your personal statement should illustrate your skills and expertise in the chosen field while emphasising your passion and commitment for it . A UK personal statement is typically more academically-focused and universities are primarily interested in your academic achievements and a genuine demonstration of interest in the selected courses.

For the US , your essay should adopt a more personal and introspective angle and highlight areas like your personal growth, intellectual curiosity, and leadership development . Here, there is greater room for storytelling and creativity and it should portray a more holistic view of yourself.

Applications to both countries are made on two separate platforms: UCAS for the UK and Common Application or the university’s own platform for the US. Be sure to check out their respective websites for further information about the personal statement.

The UK personal statement

A good UK personal statement is direct and precise and it should show that the student is well prepared to study in their chosen discipline. Since the UK places a strong emphasis on your academics, try to include examples which are impactful and relevant. Your extracurricular activities, readings, and accomplishments should ideally be relevant to your chosen discipline.

With a 4,000 character limit , it’s important to strategise and remain factual and straightforward. It’s easy to lose focus in your essay as UCAS personal statements are typically open-ended with no prompts provided. As such, refrain from listing all your achievements and activities and instead dive deep into your academic journey.

Successful personal statements from students in Singapore admitted to top UK universities

Uk essay #1.

Undergoing treatment for my impacted maxillary canine tooth gave me a profound appreciation for dentistry. As I was treated by a multi-disciplinary team, I witnessed their skilfulness during each treatment stage, ultimately saving my tooth and relieving my jaw-aches. Gaining an anterior tooth in my dental arch also improved my self-esteem. The relationships I formed with each member of the team were meaningful, and I realised that as a dentist, I too, could improve patients' oral and mental health, developing similar connections.

Inspired to learn more about dentistry, I shadowed Dr. Shahul Hameed, an experienced general dentist. I observed the maintenance of a dental implant - the planning, execution and patient management. Curious to learn more about implant dentistry, I read up on the fundamentals of dental implants; principles of osseointegration and factors that influence the treatment plan, such as the load-bearing capacity of the implant compared to occlusal forces. Fascinated by dental sciences, I attended 'Discover Dentistry', a course by Sheffield University, where I learnt about current research, such as using cultured cells to assess biocompatibility of prostheses, giving me insight into the exciting future of dentistry. This spurred me to do my own research on the oral health status of the elderly living in care facilities globally. Having learnt about their poor oral health, measured using indices like the O'Leary Plaque and DMFT index, it was interesting to discover how this would greatly improve with routine care.

Another memorable experience involved Dr. Shahul extracting a wisdom tooth from a nervous patient. He explained the treatment plan concisely, making clear the possible risks before gaining her consent, in line with GDC principle 3. Upon completing the procedure, he congratulated her, demonstrating genuine care for the patient. Seeking to emulate his empathy and communication skills, I volunteered with Dementia Singapore. One event involved teaching elderly dementia patients to make lanterns using red packets. Overcoming the language barrier between us, I spoke in both English and Tamil, being understanding and displaying a flexible approach to communication. Currently being in National Service, which I will complete in 2025, I learnt how to provide first aid and CPR, improving my effective communication in emergency situations. Furthermore, I researched 'capgras syndrome,' a mental condition causing delusional misidentifications of people, for an arts competition, Destination Imagination. Acting out its symptoms made me more empathetic towards individuals with health conditions.

I also led a data analytics project, using machine learning to predict the virality of YouTube videos. This involved organising meetings and delegating tasks to my team based on their strengths, ensuring our project's progress. Such leadership skills are vital in managing a dental team. Using machine learning prompted me to consider its potential role in dentistry, in predicting the efficacy of treatments using digitally-stored patient data. I am intrigued about how this relates to patient confidentiality and how to balance patient beneficence with patient data protection. Moreover, I honed my manual dexterity skills by playing fingerstyle guitar pieces in my school's guitar ensemble. I also upload guitar covers online, garnering thousands of views. Additionally, I enjoy solving Rubik's cubes and participate in competitions. Recognising patterns during solves improved my focus - and such attention to detail is needed throughout dental procedures, to ensure successful treatments.

Dentistry is a complex field which requires technical skills and qualities like leadership and communication. Being treated by the skilled dental team has instilled in me fervour for wanting to learn more and mirror their expertise in the future.

Why this essay worked

  • Personal Experience and Inspiration: This essay immediately captures the reader's attention with a personal anecdote. The candidate's own experience with dental treatment not only sparked their interest in dentistry but also provided a deep, genuine appreciation for the field. This makes their motivation to pursue dentistry feel authentic and compelling. The detailed account of how their treatment improved their self-esteem shows a personal connection and understanding of the impact dentists can have on their patients' lives.
  • Demonstrated Commitment and Exploration: The candidate goes beyond expressing interest; they have actively pursued opportunities to learn more about dentistry. Shadowing Dr. Shahul Hameed and attending the 'Discover Dentistry' course at Sheffield University are concrete examples of their proactive approach. They’ve also engaged in self-directed research on oral health among the elderly, demonstrating intellectual curiosity and a commitment to contributing to the field. This level of initiative is precisely what we look for in candidates who will thrive in a rigorous academic environment.
  • Broad Skill Set and Reflective Insight: What stands out is the breadth of skills and experiences the candidate brings. From volunteering with dementia patients to leading a data analytics project and playing guitar, they showcase a range of abilities that are valuable in dentistry. The ability to communicate effectively, demonstrate empathy, lead a team, and possess fine motor skills are all essential qualities for a successful dentist. Moreover, the candidate reflects on how each experience has contributed to their personal growth and how these skills are relevant to their future career. This reflection shows maturity and a deep understanding of the multifaceted nature of dentistry.

UK Essay #2

Throughout my upbringing, I have seen the different cultural traditions of the US, UK, and Singapore; it has been captivating to compare the different focal points from US individualism to collectivism in Singapore. I also explored issues faced by Muslims in America while placing first in a writing competition. Societies are critical in either acting as barriers or support mechanisms, and I am intrigued by the interplay between sociology and the world we have collectively crafted.

Living in a variety of cultures, I have found it compelling to understand how we have been shaped by the cultural patterns and social principles in which we have lived. This has inspired me to explore social action theory. This was fascinating to apply to my own life as I have observed how Singaporeans have used their work ethic and collectivist values to promote 'Tiger Parenting'. Intrigued by the difference in parenting methods between Western and Asian cultures, I engaged with the scholarship of Max Weber's concept that we should interpret the lived experiences of others subjectively rather than objectively, prompting me to further explore the world around us.

I completed the 'Social Context of Mental Health' course at the University of Toronto, and gained insights into the interplay between social contexts and their impact on mental health. This has deepened my understanding of how family, infrastructure, and culture are critical to healthcare. Comparing the traditional values that impeded accessibility to healthcare in the collectivist Asian culture and the Western focus on mental health was fascinating.

Subsequently, I read 'The History of Psychiatry in India' by S. Haque Nizamie, where it can be seen that the Atharva-Veda in ancient Vedic India suggested that mental illness might be linked to divine curses, sin, and witchcraft. The establishment of mental hospitals and more humane approaches were influenced by British psychiatry during the early colonial period. I reflected on the delicate balance required to achieve an optimal societal structure that fosters an individual's mental well-being without jeopardising the rich culture that defines communities.

I am working on a research project with a Ph.D. professor to explore gender performance and what it means to 'do' gender in diverse social contexts. Gender roles are critical in shaping identities and social structures with stereotypes also impacting the experiences of social groups; often, the traditional norms and inequalities make social change seem unattainable. I have explored how gender norms are socially constructed and enforced. I applied this to the motorsport industry, which is traditionally dominated by masculine ideals. Perceived gender roles have affected the perception of female racers, thereby shaping their experiences and limiting their opportunities; in other words, there is a complex interaction between societal expectations, gender norms, and individual experiences. I hope to continue contributing to this discourse, and create positive change.

I have worked as part of the corporate communications team in Singapore's largest real estate company, where I have focused on connecting with a specific part of society by developing articles and podcasts for Gen Z. Beyond this, I was a school prefect and mentor during my A Levels, and aimed to support students academically. I am a passionate dancer having won the East England Grand Final Championships, and I was a captain of a dance team for five years.

Sociology uniquely offers insight into the root causes of issues, namely the challenge of inequality, systematic injustice, and the unravelling of social structures. I hope to pave the way for a more equitable future and challenge ingrained norms by studying this degree. To undertake challenges affecting the twenty-first century, one must have a fundamental understanding of sociology; it informs and dictates the world around us, setting the course and boundaries for change.

  • Rich Cultural Perspective and Personal Connection: This essay stands out due to the student's rich cultural experiences in the US, UK, and Singapore. The ability to draw comparisons between individualism and collectivism, along with a personal engagement in social issues like Muslim experiences in America, gives a genuine and insightful perspective. This multicultural background provides a strong foundation for studying sociology and demonstrates a deep personal connection to the subject matter.
  • Intellectual Curiosity and Academic Engagement: The student's proactive approach to learning is evident through their completion of the 'Social Context of Mental Health' course at the University of Toronto and their independent reading of 'The History of Psychiatry in India.' This shows a clear commitment to understanding complex sociological concepts and their real-world applications. Additionally, their involvement in a research project on gender performance with a Ph.D. professor highlights a high level of academic engagement and a desire to contribute to scholarly discourse.
  • Diverse Extracurricular Involvement and Leadership: The student's extracurricular activities, including working in corporate communications, being a school prefect and mentor, and excelling in dance, demonstrate a well-rounded individual with strong leadership skills. These experiences not only showcase their ability to connect with various social groups but also highlight their dedication to supporting others and fostering community. The blend of academic and extracurricular achievements paints a picture of a dynamic and motivated candidate, well-suited for a sociology degree.

UK Essay #3

When my younger brother was born with Sacrococcygeal Teratoma (SCT), I was told that he was born with a “bunny tail” on his bottom. When I saw the teratoma, the fantasy of having a half-bunny, half-human brother quickly faded, but my curiosity grew. In studying Biomedical Sciences, I hope to feed my childhood curiosity by deepening my knowledge of how the body works, and how it fails. I aspire to connect this knowledge to congenital disorders such as SCT having seen the health and self-esteem issues it can cause. This has inspired me to go further in my acquisition of knowledge and its real-world application.

Research suggests SCT arises from the incomplete migration of primordial germ cells from the yolk sac to the gonadal ridges during embryogenesis. Other sources state that SCT may be due to the failure of the Hensen’s node to regress or due to the residual totipotent stem cells from the Hensen’s node. While ultrasound, amniocentesis or chorionic villus sampling can be used to visualise and diagnose congenital disorders, it is difficult to elucidate abnormal gastrulation, for example, as it occurs very early on in pregnancy. This, along with the multifactorial nature of congenital disorders, impedes on the understanding of conditions that manifest during foetal development. It is this ambiguity that compels me to use my Biomedical education to help further the understanding of congenital disorders like SCT.

I decided to investigate the emerging research on the interplay between our microbiome and health in my Extended Essay (EE). Initially, I wanted to explore the topic of the skin microbiome using biological models. It was difficult to replicate the conditions of the human skin microbiome, but these challenges motivated me to be more creative and proactive in my experimental design. For example, I tried to measure the difference in turbidity between L. casei, B. subtilis, and a solution containing both species, to model the relationship between the commensal skin bacteria S. aureus and S. epidermidis. While this trial did not yield conclusive data, I gained valuable knowledge such as learning the aseptic technique, alongside personal growth through discovering the importance of maintaining morale and motivation through failed trials, developing my independence as a scientist. Additionally, through my EE process, I discovered a passion for research and was fascinated by Zhang et al’s study into the role L. acidophilus S-layer proteins play in the inhibition of pathogenic E. coli. Some of the techniques used by Zhang et al to explore this were gel electrophoresis and mass spectrometry, which I had learnt about in my IB biology and chemistry courses. I had previously only associated these techniques with limited applications such as DNA separation and relative atomic mass. To see their use in a sophisticated manner alongside more complex methods was inspiring. I look forward to cultivating my laboratory skills and becoming proficient in conducting research; allowing me to delve deeper into my understanding of the intricacies within the human body.

I am also passionate about fitness and enjoy applying my knowledge of muscle contraction, the cardiac system, and the muscular system to my fitness journey. In October 2023, I competed in my first endurance fitness race, Hyrox, where I was the youngest of 3500 participants. This pushed me to my limits in the best way, as sticking to a strict training plan while doing the IB was challenging, but showed me the value of consistency, hard work, and teamwork. While I appreciate the rigour of science, I also enjoy learning Spanish, playing the piano, and cooking for friends and family. I hope studying Biomedical Sciences not only fuels my interest in understanding our bodies but also enables me to contribute to its broad positive impact on human health.

  • Personal Connection and Clear Motivation: This essay excels in establishing a strong personal connection to the field of Biomedical Sciences through the story of the student’s brother born with Sacrococcygeal Teratoma (SCT). The vivid and heartfelt description of the brother's condition and its impact on the family provides a compelling narrative that clearly motivates the student’s interest in congenital disorders. This personal anecdote not only makes the essay relatable but also highlights the student's deep-rooted passion for understanding and addressing health issues.
  • Research Experience and Intellectual Curiosity: The student’s detailed account of their Extended Essay (EE) on the microbiome demonstrates a high level of intellectual curiosity and a proactive approach to research. The discussion of experimental design challenges and the use of techniques like gel electrophoresis and mass spectrometry shows a sophisticated understanding of scientific methods. The ability to connect classroom knowledge to real-world applications, despite setbacks, reflects resilience and a genuine enthusiasm for scientific inquiry. This depth of research experience and commitment to learning is highly impressive.
  • Well-Roundedness and Diverse Interests: Beyond academic pursuits, the student showcases a well-rounded personality through their passion for fitness, languages, music, and cooking. Competing in the Hyrox endurance race while managing IB studies highlights qualities such as determination, time management, and teamwork. These extracurricular activities illustrate a balanced and dynamic individual who not only excels in scientific endeavours but also values physical health, cultural engagement, and community. This diverse set of interests and skills makes the student a well-rounded candidate, poised to contribute meaningfully to the field of Biomedical Sciences and beyond.

The US personal statement

A strong US personal statement should provide a unique window into the student’s identity and personality . It helps the university understand who the student is holistically through their experiences, goals, and values. Thus, it’s important to include the experiences that reflect your core beliefs and how they have changed you. Reflecting genuinely and writing authentically is key with a US personal statement.

A 650-word limit is typically imposed on US essays, and you will be required to address a specific prompt . Additionally, most competitive universities also require the submission of supplemental essays . They are meant to support your application and give the admissions officer a deeper understanding of you. It’s important to treat the supplemental essay with the same dedication as your personal statement as they can also influence the admission decision. The word limit for the supplemental essays varies by university, typically ranging from a few words to 650 or more words .

Successful personal statements from students in Singapore admitted to top US universities

For the following essays, observe how their approach is different from a UCAS personal statement.

US Essay #1

The sickening smell of chrysanthemums mixed with incense made me nauseous. I stared at the white pearl placed precariously on my great-grandmother's lips, and tried to identify her through her embalmed face.

It was the 31st of July. I was sixteen, and this was my first time at a funeral wake.

It was in an open space, on a windy day, and I felt suffocated.

Leaving the altar, I joined a sea of faces foreign yet so familiar: distant cousins, uncles, relatives that were my age. We shared the same eyes, but I could not remember ever seeing them.

Suddenly, I was startled by joyous sounds. It was unmistakable — someone was laughing. At a funeral? That can't be right. Looking up, I saw my relatives cracking jokes while folding Joss paper. I was bewildered. How could they still laugh in grief? Curious, I joined them.

They were folding gold ingots from Joss paper, spirit currency at Chinese funerals. I, their new recruit, was handed a stack. Following the movements of my relatives, I kept pace. As we folded the Joss paper in unison, my reservations of displaying anything other than grief subsided. I sensed a tinge of sadness from everyone at the table, and realized they were joking around not because of their lack of sensitivity, but rather because of their empathy. We all shared the same grief that threatened to consume us, so why not share the burden?

We put our despondency into those sheets of paper and shaped them into gifts for offering. The jokes and laughter continued as we filled bag after bag with the paper gold ingots, and I found myself joining in their conversation, consoled by the hopeful atmosphere amidst a somber day. As per tradition, we burned the filled bags. I watched the flames of renewal eat up our hours of labor and consume along with it the worst of our sorrow. The dancing flames were laughing at death, stealing the spotlight in the ballad of goodbyes. Despite all the smoke, I could finally breathe better than before.

"Zai jian," I said with a smile when the fire finally died. In Mandarin, zai means 'again' and jian means 'meet'. When put together they express goodbye but simultaneously imply hope of future encounters. I knew that there would be more of such.

The sweet smell of chrysanthemums now reminds me of new beginnings. Just as the funeral wake brought my family closer than ever, I understood from this experience that goodbyes could also allow for new connections. I later found out that the pearl I had seen on my late great-grandmother's lips symbolizes rebirth: just as the oyster goes through a process of transformation to create the pearl, the memories we have made can grow into something beautiful and valuable. Although I did not realize this before, goodbyes were not any indication of the end, but rather a necessary prelude to metamorphosis.

  • Engaging and Vivid Narrative: This essay immediately captures attention with its vivid and sensory-rich descriptions, starting with the "sickening smell of chrysanthemums mixed with incense." The detailed portrayal of the funeral wake, from the sight of the embalmed face to the act of folding Joss paper, immerses the reader in the experience. This narrative style not only makes the essay compelling but also showcases the student’s ability to convey complex emotions and scenes effectively.
  • Cultural Insight and Personal Growth: The essay offers a deep dive into the student’s cultural heritage, providing a nuanced understanding of Chinese funeral traditions. The student’s initial confusion about laughter at a funeral and their subsequent realisation about empathy and shared grief highlight significant personal growth. This transformation from bewilderment to acceptance and understanding illustrates maturity and a capacity for introspection, which are essential traits for a college applicant.
  • Reflective and Symbolic Conclusion: The conclusion of the essay beautifully ties the entire experience together by reflecting on the symbolism of the pearl and the concept of "zai jian." This reflective insight about goodbyes being a prelude to new beginnings and metamorphosis adds depth to the narrative. The student’s ability to find hope and beauty in a traditionally sombre event demonstrates resilience and an optimistic outlook on life, making this essay both memorable and impactful.

US Essay #2

“And the award goes to...”

My eyes were glued to my computer screen, and my heart was pounding in my chest. Could we do it? Did we do it?

“Team Quasar!”

Allow me to tell you a story of the last few months of the year 2020. Those few months would launch me into the endless space of ideas and possibilities.

It was the Singapore Space Challenge 2021. Teams were required to design a lunar rover mission. It was a highly demanding competition that needed a technical understanding of engineering and space, not to mention the incredibly heavy workload of making a 50-page report and 10-minute video within a few months. Space engineering was completely new to me and my team, and the other teams were mostly university students who were experts in the field. Could we really do it? Are we even qualified for this? I was captivated by the possibilities the challenge could open up, but I second-guessed myself over and over again.

“You know what? Let’s do it.”

And so my team and I signed up for the Singapore Space Challenge 2021.

Over the course of the competition, we were stumbling on our feet. We scoured the internet for research reports and videos to learn about space engineering, from the structure of rover wheels to lunar lander modules. We couldn’t come up with anything that satisfied our high expectations for ourselves, though. So my team and I decided to take a step back. We were at a disadvantage because we knew little about engineering. We were only fifteen, after all.

But what if we turned this constraint into an opportunity? Our lack of experience in the field meant that we weren’t restricted by preconceived notions of what should and shouldn’t be. We could take lots of liberties in technicalities. We could sell a creative idea that takes inspiration from nature to demonstrate its conceptual suitability for its task of excavation. So, we went back to the drawing board. We went back and forth with all sorts of ideas until one of us said the word “worm”. Everyone went quiet but our eyes lit up.

We then came up with our award-winning idea: the lunar excavation worm.

We stopped questioning whether something would work without giving it a try, and went crazy with what our worm could do. Turning ice on the Moon to rocket fuel? Sounds fun! Making it do backflips to climb hills? Let’s do it!

The deadline was approaching, and it was time to get serious. We put our strengths of research, designing and writing together to design a full-fledged robotic worm. After 3 weeks of intense work, we submitted our entry with satisfaction, hope, and inspiration.

When the organizers announced that our team won the Women in STEM Award, I jumped from my seat and screamed. Our WhatsApp group flooded with exclamations in capital letters.

I took away so many lessons those few months. I learned that we should never give up on something because we think we’re not good enough. Instead of asking “why”, how about asking “why not”? Instead of undermining our potential by comparing ourselves to others, why not leverage our own talents to create something that is uniquely ours?

Inspired by our achievement, my team and I continued to take part in similar competitions, coming up with various project ideas from biology experiments in space to autonomous delivery systems.

But what could our ideas do if they just stayed on paper? Physically building a rover is certainly no easy feat, but by combining our knowledge and expertise we could learn in college, I believe we could really bring our beloved worm to life. I hope that by continuing to innovate and create, I will be able to make some contribution, no matter how small, to the scientific community, or to the betterment of people’s lives.

  • Engaging Storytelling and Clear Passion: This essay immediately grabs attention with the suspenseful opening about winning an award, which draws the reader into the narrative. The detailed recounting of the Singapore Space Challenge 2021 is both engaging and inspirational, showcasing the student’s journey from doubt to triumph. This storytelling approach not only makes the essay memorable but also highlights the student’s ability to overcome challenges and achieve remarkable success through perseverance and creativity.
  • Creative Problem-Solving and Teamwork: The student’s description of how their team transformed constraints into opportunities by leveraging their unique perspective is impressive. The innovative idea of the "lunar excavation worm" and the decision to draw inspiration from nature demonstrate a high level of creativity and problem-solving skills. Additionally, the essay emphasises the importance of teamwork, collaboration, and the ability to adapt and think outside the box, which are crucial skills in any field, especially in engineering and science.
  • Reflection and Future Aspirations: The reflective insights gained from the competition, such as asking "why not" instead of "why" and leveraging one’s own talents, reveal a mature and growth-oriented mindset. The student’s aspiration to bring their ideas to life and contribute to the scientific community underscores a strong sense of purpose and ambition. This forward-looking perspective, combined with a proven track record of success in challenging environments, makes the student a compelling candidate for any academic program.

US Essay #3

“Nam-myo-ho-renge-kyo”

The chant gave the funeral a more somber tone. As I said my goodbyes to my grandmother, Obaba, and looked back on her life, I took comfort in knowing that the important lessons that she taught me will continue to guide me. I remembered the same soft melodious chant reverberating around Obaba’s prayer room. Just Obaba and I in this haven of peace. I was five years old, sitting attentively on the tatami mat next to her, chanting Lotus Sutra, a Buddhist chant that extols the significance of compassion.

By eight years old, I was accustomed to rising at daybreak, walking through the mist to visit the temple and offer prayers to my ancestors. At ten, clothed in a white robe, I ascended the towering 3,783-foot expanse of Minobu Mountain with my family on a pilgrimage to experience a monk’s daily lifestyle. Obaba started this tradition in 1950; my family has upheld it ever since.

Obviously, at such a young age, I didn’t fully understand the deep significance of these religious practices: reciting morning Sutras, offering prayers, nightly expressions of gratitude to my ancestors, nor the religious talisman I wore. At times, prayers floated above my little head while I dozed off. Other times, I was simply bored. But when Obaba passed away, something changed.

After her death, I felt compelled to explore Buddhism at a deeper level to understand the source of Obaba’s boundless kindness and resilience. In her 101 years, she’d climbed the mountain annually for more than half a century, and now I felt the urge to practice Buddhism. I dove in by reading the classic texts–The Metta Sutta, The Lankavatara Sutra, and The Kalama Sutta. While I understood the meaning of the words, they didn’t reach my heart. It wasn't until I began to do the daily practice that Buddhism began to unveil its revelations.

Slowly, it dawned on me: Buddhism's essence lies in “compassion.” By immersing myself in active practice, I came to recognize Buddhism's role as a hub of social support. Its compassionate teachings played a pivotal role in helping my Obaba navigate the challenges of World War II and cultivate a lifelong spirit of empathy. Obaba was an inspiration to people from all walks of life, and they’d often seek her to pour out their problems. She’d lend a patient ear and offer advice or simply provide a comforting presence. Obaba led a life dedicated to service. She worked on cultivating her inner peace, which enabled her to assist others in their own journey towards inner tranquility. It became clear to me this was the lesson I’d been seeking all along.

Throughout the pandemic, I became increasingly aware of the struggles within the Buddhist community, where many people experienced significant economic hardship. Embracing Obaba's legacy as my guiding spirit, I initiated a video project for the Buddhist community, since in-person gatherings were restricted. Every morning, after cleaning the temple, I arranged my equipment to create relevant content for our community. These videos featured meditation sessions, insightful teachings from revered monks, and highlights of our community's events.

In the beginning, doubt gnawed at me. Would anyone be interested in online sessions? However, as heartfelt comments poured in, my anxieties dissolved, replaced by a determination to provide more for our community. It was, then, that I recognized how compassion for each of the community members is crucial in cultivating a sense of unity. Through this experience, I gleaned the profound importance of extending compassion by harnessing my own skills to uplift my community members during challenging times, including the pandemic–similar to what Obaba did during WWII.

Having said that, I am who I am today because Obaba exemplified what compassion and resilience are. As a result, I hold her as my role model, aspiring to adopt her qualities by becoming an individual who extends compassion and care to others within the community.

  • Emotional and Personal Connection: This essay immediately draws the reader in with its heartfelt reflection on the passing of the student's grandmother, Obaba. The vivid descriptions of childhood memories, such as chanting the Lotus Sutra and climbing Minobu Mountain, create a deep emotional connection. The student’s journey from not fully understanding the religious practices to finding profound meaning in them after Obaba’s death demonstrates personal growth and a strong emotional connection to their heritage and family traditions.
  • Demonstration of Compassion and Community Engagement: The student’s active engagement in the Buddhist community, especially during the pandemic, is highly commendable. Initiating a video project to support the community highlights the student’s leadership, initiative, and compassion. This act of service not only illustrates their ability to adapt to challenging circumstances but also their commitment to helping others, reflecting the teachings of Buddhism and the legacy of Obaba. The essay effectively shows how the student embodies the values of compassion and resilience learned from their grandmother.
  • Cultural Insight and Reflective Growth: The essay provides a rich cultural insight into Buddhist practices and their significance within the student’s life. The detailed account of religious rituals, texts, and the role of Buddhism as a source of social support offers a unique perspective. The student’s reflective growth, from questioning the relevance of these practices to embracing them fully, highlights a mature understanding of their cultural and spiritual identity. This reflective journey, combined with a strong sense of purpose and aspiration to follow in Obaba’s footsteps, makes the essay both inspiring and deeply personal.

US Essay #4

The piercing sound of the school bell marked the end of the day. But I found myself reluctant to exit the classroom. I didn’t want to go home.

While growing up as an only child allowed me to enjoy all the attention focused from my parents, it also meant that I was faced with high expectations. Since they have always worked hard and would often return home late, I felt that cooking dinner was my way of giving back to my family.

Cooking was not easy, and this was especially true of Chinese dishes. While I am no professional, I have improved rapidly over the years. From changing how I slice the pork belly to adapting the proportion of oyster sauce I use, I have always taken satisfaction in refining every detail to optimize the taste of my dishes so that my parents could enjoy a hearty meal after an exhausting day. Cooking was more than a chore - cooking Chinese food and eating it at the round table at the end of the day was my language to connect with my busy parents. I felt I would disappoint them if I messed up the dish.

And so, inevitably, cooking turned out to be the most stressful part of my daily routine. At the end of every school day, the sparks of knowledge acquired would quickly be extinguished by my anxious thoughts of what to cook that night. Walking towards the kitchen, I would notice my pace slowing down. I was worried that even one mistake would completely ruin the dish. And so, I was more careful in the style I tossed the fried rice and was more afraid to experiment with different spices that I infused in my Kung Pao chicken. As the screeching tires signaled the arrival of my parents, I could feel my heart drumming; in a matter of minutes, my food would be judged and critiqued. The pressure of this routine started to smother my enjoyment of cooking.

A couple of years ago, I was asked to cook for my Taoist community for the ‘Birthday of Quan Yin’ festival. I was excited to connect with my community through my cooking skills. I proudly pulled out the wok, threw in the ingredients, and focused on the tempo of sizzling, as the perfect ‘wok hay’ aroma of ‘char kuey teow’ was unleashed into the air. I poured my passion, mastery, and love for my culinary heritage into the dish and forgot about everything else. As I was distributing the food onto plastic plates, I was startled by my mother standing right behind me.

“Smells good, son,” she said. The single sentence wasn’t just any compliment - it expressed emphatic approval after years of fastidious evaluation of my dishes.

Looking back, my self-discipline and perfectionism, which my culture considers as admirable traits, had created fear and pressure in everything I did, preventing me from enjoying my passion for cooking and sharing a meal. I always thought that this was caused by the high expectations set by my parents. From my enjoyable experience of connecting people through my cooking, I realized that all along it was my own expectation of my parents’ approval that fueled me to set ever higher expectations for myself.

While I cannot deny these very expectations are what led me to accomplish things that I thought were not possible athletically or academically, I am now aware that my passion for cooking would have slowly deteriorated if I only focused on the results. And, perhaps most importantly, I consider this experience a great metaphor for other things in life: even if the noodles are too salty or otak-otak slightly overcooked, as long as I pour my passion into it, enjoy myself in the process, and share my joy with the people I love, we will be having a hearty meal.

  • Vivid and Relatable Storytelling: This essay captivates the reader with a relatable and vivid narrative. The detailed descriptions of the student’s cooking experiences, from slicing pork belly to tossing fried rice, provide a sensory-rich account that draws the reader in. The progression from cooking as a stressful obligation to a joyful and communal activity is compelling and relatable, highlighting the student's growth and introspection. The story effectively illustrates the challenges and rewards of balancing high expectations with personal enjoyment.
  • Cultural and Familial Connection: The essay beautifully intertwines the student’s cultural heritage with their family dynamics. The act of cooking Chinese dishes and sharing meals at the round table serves as a powerful metaphor for connection and communication within the family. Additionally, the mention of cooking for the Taoist community adds depth, showing the student’s engagement with their cultural and religious traditions. This connection to culture and family provides a rich backdrop to the student’s personal journey, making the essay both meaningful and authentic.
  • Reflection and Personal Growth: The student’s reflection on the pressures of high expectations and the realisation that these were largely self-imposed is profound. The shift from focusing on results to embracing the process and sharing joy with loved ones demonstrates significant personal growth and maturity. The essay conveys a valuable life lesson about finding balance and passion in one’s pursuits. This introspective quality, combined with the student's ability to articulate their thoughts and feelings, makes the essay insightful and inspiring, showcasing the student’s readiness for future challenges and growth.

US Essay #5

At 6, I really wanted to be a swan. A peculiar profession to most, this impassioned declaration was often met with baffled stares. Luckily, the reality was much more attainable: I wanted to be the White Swan from the classic Swan Lake. Gazing upwards from my booster seat at my first ballet, I grew enamoured by the unparalleled grace of the White Swan. Entranced, I pictured myself in her dainty little shoes floating across the stage. An excitement quelled in my chest–the early embers that would spark into a raging flame. No matter what, I will be the next White Swan.

Fast forward ten years and I can barely do a split! Forget backbends or leaps, I’ve yet to grasp the baseline for flexibility. It appears that as I grow older, I become less like the graceful swan I once aspired to become and more like Big Bird. I lack natural grace and elegance. My hips are stubbornly turned inwards and standing in the basic ‘fifth-position’ hurts my joints. My non-existent stamina deters me from sustaining high jumps through a routine. It seems that my only aptitude in dance is making every move look more laborious than it already is.

All around me I see friends excelling at their passions, boasting shelves of trophies and accolades. Meanwhile, I’m still struggling to attain a ‘distinction’ grade in my ballet exam. Merit grade’s not bad, but not very good either. I’ve watched my ballet classmates covet and achieve solo opportunities, while I remain shrouded in the background of ensemble dancers. I’ve watched them walk out the studio glowing with satisfaction after mastering a move, while I stay back, alone, fumbling with the exact same step.

Somehow, despite the frustration, passion would still drive me to attend every rehearsal, fraying countless ballet-slippers. I’ve gone on painfully restrictive diets all in a bid to achieve the ideal ‘ballerina’ physique. I’ve committed to demanding workout plans to build up my stamina, and dedicated myself to a consistent stretching regimen to increase flexibility. I’ve done all I could, ticked off all the prerequisites for progress, and yet I’ve plateaued in my ballet skills. I’ve trusted the process, but it seems that the process has failed me.

But here’s the thing: I still love ballet. Despite the adversities, I still find myself yearning to slip on my slippers and perform my routines. Invariably, I find myself loving dance.

Maybe it’s because the beauty of passion is the courage to continue even in the face of failure. Through this arduous journey I’ve learned that passion isn’t the brilliant spark of a raging fire, but the muted embers that glow, unwaveringly. It doesn’t matter if I fail to achieve my splits or ‘distinctions,’ because I’ve come to appreciate the gnawing ache in my legs as I leap and pirouette, and respect my ardour in continuing every dance despite mistakes and cramps. Passion isn't the extreme highs and lows of victory; it’s the persistent fight in enduring what we do, for the sake of doing what we love. I don’t enjoy the pain, nor the disappointment, but it’s these factors that are testaments to my depth of passion. Passion does not equate to greatness, but I don’t dance for greatness. I dance for the people. The lessons. The understanding of a beautiful art form.

Now when I watch ballet, I no longer envision myself as the dancer on stage. I’ve stopped dreaming of a career on stage. I no longer proudly showcase my routines to my family. But I haven’t stopped showing up, giving my all, and most importantly, enjoying it. Maybe I’ll never be a white swan, but that’s irrelevant. Because I know that I'll keep dancing for a long time to come. The truth behind doing what we love is that we never stop fighting for it, no matter the cost. Such is the beauty of passion.

  • Authenticity and Perseverance: This essay stands out for its authenticity and raw honesty. The student’s journey from a childhood dream of becoming the White Swan to facing the harsh realities of their limitations in ballet is portrayed with genuine emotion. Despite not achieving the lofty goals they set for themselves, the student’s continued dedication to ballet, even in the face of persistent challenges and setbacks, showcases an admirable level of perseverance. This genuine reflection on their experiences highlights the student’s resilience and commitment, making the essay relatable and impactful.
  • Deep Understanding of Passion: The student’s evolving understanding of what true passion entails is a central theme that adds depth to the essay. The shift from seeing passion as a path to greatness to recognizing it as the courage to persist despite failure is profound. The student articulates this realisation eloquently, showing a mature perspective on the nature of dedication and love for an art form. This nuanced understanding of passion, illustrated through personal anecdotes and reflections, provides a compelling narrative that resonates with the reader.
  • Engaging and Relatable Narrative: The essay is engaging and relatable, filled with vivid descriptions and a touch of humour. The contrast between the student’s initial dreams and the reality of their ballet skills is depicted in a way that is both poignant and endearing. The student’s self-awareness and ability to find joy in the process, rather than the outcome, offer valuable life lessons. This narrative not only captures the reader’s attention but also leaves a lasting impression of the student’s character, making it a memorable and effective personal statement.

Tips on writing effective personal statements

Now that you’ve reviewed several successful personal statements, you may have noticed some recurring themes. Here are a few tips on how to write an impactful personal statement!

1. Start early

You can’t rush a personal statement so start early! This gives you ample time to brainstorm and plan ahead. As it might be intimidating to approach a blank page and begin writing, it’s important to first plan what you intend to write . We suggest using lists and diagrams like mind maps to visualise potential key topics and how they may be connected. Outlining your personal statement before you begin writing helps keep your thoughts organised and ensures a smooth flow.

Your reader already knows the who but what about the why ? If you’re stuck on what to write about, the why is a useful starting point for your brainstorming . Reflect on your unique experiences and values and think about why you intend to study in the chosen discipline. Which experience sparked your interest?

You should also research the specific courses and universities that you are interested in before you begin writing to learn more about their requirements and expectations. Use this to carefully align your narrative with the university’s values. For UK personal statements, try to make it evident that you’ve done your research by highlighting the relevant knowledge, experiences, and qualities that you have in your essay.

2. Practice makes perfect

Crafting an outstanding personal statement requires plenty of practice! Your first draft is unlikely to be perfect so don’t be discouraged by the number of revisions you’ll need.

Start by writing freely and ignoring the word or character limit. Aim to include everything you want to cover in your final draft, and don’t worry if it’s too long as you can refine it later. Nevertheless, always keep the purpose of your personal statement in mind throughout the drafting process to stay on track. If you’re writing a UCAS personal statement, ensure that the reader can clearly understand your expertise and academic goals. For US applications, the reader should understand your unique identity and characteristics better. Keep on practising and editing until your essay's message is clear and impactful!

3. Showcase a reflective nature

Strong personal statements are authentic and reflective . However, while you may have encountered a lot of significant experiences, what happened to the student is often less important than how they processed and understood it . As such, try to reflect deeply on those key moments and ask yourself questions like “how did that event make me a better person” and “how has it changed the way I view myself or the world”. It’s okay to be vulnerable in your essay so be honest in your reflection. It’s important to highlight your journey of personal growth and self-discovery as it can demonstrate your level of maturity and emotional depth.

For UCAS essays, connecting your reflection to what you intend to study is essential . For instance, it could influence your motivation to pursue your chosen discipline or contribute to your knowledge and experience in a subject matter. Ultimately, it should prove your passion and enthusiasm for your chosen discipline.

Expand on your reflection and conclude your essay with an optimistic future outlook. Try to link your experiences and the lessons you’ve learned with your goals and how they’ve prepared you for your future academic and professional pathways. For example, you can elaborate on how your involvement in STEM research has inspired your altruistic aim to advance and benefit humanity. The key here is to highlight your journey and show how your experiences have shaped your future ambitions and actions.

4. Highlight your passion

Especially for US personal statements, letting your passion shine through in your essay is a great way for the admissions officer to understand you better . You need not mention everything you’re passionate about so select one or a few that you can integrate into your narrative. You can even use them to set the tone and foundation for your personal statement.

In the previous essays, notice how these students have cleverly capitalised on their passion to drive their narratives and demonstrate their journey of personal growth. They combine their passion with their life experiences, reflect on the challenges and growth they’ve encountered, and draw connections to meaningful lessons, making their essays memorable and insightful. In fact, highlighting how you’ve changed through your passion offers key insights into your characteristics and mindset!

5. Proofread the final draft

The spelling, grammar, and structure of your essay is crucial so be meticulous when proofreading . While content is important, your writing skills bring the best stories to life. Read your final draft aloud multiple times and see if it flows well. Watch for any awkward phrases, jarring transactions, and grammatical or spelling errors as they can undermine even the strongest essays.

Ask yourself these questions as you read your personal statement: do my ideas connect logically, is my writing engaging and succinct, and are there any segments that can be cut or expanded on? A strong essay should be cohesive with every element seamlessly woven into its narrative - nothing should feel out of place. Also, ensure that you’ve covered all the key points from your initial outline.

Seek feedback from as many people as possible as it’s useful to get external perspectives. Share a copy with a trusted friend, teacher, mentor, or family member, and ask for an impartial review. If the overall narrative isn’t clear, consider revisiting and refining it.

Identifying and overcoming common mistakes

Writing a personal statement is a challenging endeavour and many mistakes can be made during the process. Here are a few common mistakes and how you can avoid them!

1. Overlooking your audience

A common mistake students make is losing sight of their audience. Be mindful of your writing style as it varies depending on the country you’re intending to apply to . For the UCAS personal statement, students often adopt a flowery writing style to tell a story instead of being direct and factual. Remember, the aim of the UCAS personal statement is to highlight your expertise, academic goals, and vision for your time in university. Make sure that every element of your essay is aligned with these areas. 

For the US on the other hand, many students assume that difficult and emotional personal topics make the best essays. However, not all strong personal statements are about hardship. You should only write about such experiences if they are authentic and have shaped your life in some way. It’s essential to genuinely reflect on your life experiences so avoid writing about a topic just for the sake of it.

2. Being redundant

The reader can see your entire application so your personal statement shouldn’t be a reiteration of it . You have a word limit so refrain from listing your accomplishments and grades that are already on your application. It’s your opportunity to show a different aspect of yourself so try to reveal something new. While you still might want to highlight a relevant achievement, don’t just list it in your essay, explain how this experience has impacted you!

3. Coming across as arrogant

Highlighting your unique experiences and strengths is important in your essay but be mindful of your tone . Be humble, the purpose of your essay is not to show that you are the best! There’s always room for improvement so avoid suggesting that you’ve already learned everything about yourself or a subject matter. Instead, try adopting a more forward-looking approach to show how you still strive for self-improvement despite your strengths. There’s always room for improvement!

4. Honesty is the best policy

Lying or exaggerating on your personal statement is a surefire way of setting yourself up for failure . Avoid making unsupported claims or over-exaggerating your accomplishments. If you’re called for an interview, the school may ask you thoroughly about the experiences that you’ve mentioned in your essay. They can also conduct background checks on your references and claims so it’s easy to get caught out in a lie. Your interviewers are likely to be experts themselves who can verify whether your experience is authentic, exaggerated, or false.

Be honest and only write about the things you have experienced . It may be tempting to embellish your personal statement to enhance your attractiveness but no experience is too small - it’s about what you get out of it. Even if you have limited practical experience in your chosen discipline, there are other ways to demonstrate your passion and motivation. Make your enthusiasm clear in your writing by expressing your desire to pursue a career in the specific field. You can talk about how your hobbies are related, the readings you have done, and how you keep up to date with current trends!

5. Focusing too much on storytelling

Many personal statements end up looking like a recount of the student’s personal life story . While some background information provides context to the personal statement, too much of it will dilute your essay’s purpose. If you’re writing for the US, be sure to stay on track and address the prompt that you’ve chosen. A well-organised structure will ensure that your personal statement remains focused. By the end of your essay, the reader should be able to take away some of your unique qualities and experiences, and understand your motivation behind pursuing your chosen discipline.

Recommended Timeline

Making consistent progress with your personal statement is vital. It guarantees ample time to organise and include all essential points, prevent errors, and thoroughly proofread.

Ideally, you want to start brainstorming at least four to six months before the deadline . This stage is meant for you to conduct an in-depth self-assessment, writing down all the points that can contribute to a compelling narrative. Before you can start writing, it's recommended to plan your essay four months before the deadline . Use visual diagrams and figure out which of the earlier points relate to one another. Here, you need to ensure that there is an overarching theme for your essay to remain focused and cohesive. Organise your key points into sections to create a logical structure for your personal statement. Once you’re done with the planning stage, aim to start writing your first draft two to four months before the due date . Focus on capturing the essence of your essay and remember to be authentic, concise, and positive. Lastly, share a copy with your trusted connections one to two months before the deadline, and proofread and make any necessary edits at least one month before! This gives you enough time to polish your essay to perfection before the final submission.

Need support with your personal statement and other aspects of applying to US and UK universities? Our experts are here to guide you through every step of the process. Contact us today for personalised assistance!

Have questions or need help? Connect with Crimson Education for expert advice and tailored support.

Key resources & further reading.

  • 10 Great Common App Essay Examples From Accepted Students
  • How To Answer the 2024-25 Common App Essay Prompts
  • A Love Letter to My Mum: Personal Statements That Pay Tribute to Our Greatest Supporters

About the Contributor

Jamie Beaton

Jamie Beaton

Jamie Beaton is the Co-founder and CEO of Crimson Education. With degrees from Harvard, Oxford, Stanford, Yale, and Tsinghua, Jamie is an educational innovator passionate about helping students reach their academic potential. He co-founded Crimson after gaining admission to 25 of the world's top universities. Under his leadership, Crimson has become the world's most successful university admissions consultancy, helping thousands gain entry into the Ivy League and other elite institutions.

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personal essay with examples

12 Tips for Answer Georgia College and State University Personal Essay Questions

Wednesday, August 28, 2024

personal essay with examples

Writing a strong personal essay is an essential component of the application process when you apply to Georgia College and State University (GCSU).  In the personal essay questions , the  themes of career goals, personal growth, and community service are often emphasised. The university asks the students to elaborate on why they are interested in a particular field of study or recount a challenging situation they went through and how they managed to resolve it. 

Students can demonstrate their skills, achievements, and values by using real-life experiences as examples. In addition, the university’s personal essay questions require students to strike a balance between self-reflection and storytelling. Students must also present clear knowledge of how their experiences and prospective goals relate to the institution’s values. 

However, some students do not have enough skills to effectively answer such questions while  applying to university. So, this guide is for such students. Here,  we will provide tips on  writing a personal statement and answering such essay questions in your university application. 

How to Answer Georgia College and State University Personal Essay Questions?

Georgia College aims to extend education outside of the classroom to support students' critical thinking abilities. Thus, they have incorporated such questions into the enrolment applications. Below are the 12 tips that will provide  assistance with your essay  questions and improve your chances of having your application accepted.

personal essay with examples

1. Know the Best Ideas for Your Essay

The personal essay questions Georgia College and State University are meant to add more insight into your application. In addition, the response to such personal essay topics helps the admission committee to know more about you. To write a strong essay, make sure that your thoughts are coherent and reflect your own experiences. 

Here, we are providing you with some tricks to come up with amazing ideas:

  • Understand the prompt.
  • Read the question carefully.
  • Get the core ideas.

Ideas Brainstorming

  • Recall life events that have shaped who you are today.
  • Think about how your social, academic or cultural backgrounds have influenced you.
  • Remember times when you overcame challenges or achieved milestones in life.
  • Focus on strengths or areas of passion for you.

Your ideas must:

  • Be relevant to the prompt.
  • Be realistic.
  • In line with what the university stands for.

2. Reflect on Your Experiences

As you prepare to apply to university, remember the experiences that have contributed to shaping you the way you are now. Your essay should show how these developments, interests, and objectives align with the university's mission and values.

Think about the following points while you reflect on your experiences:

Obstacles and Challenges

What barriers or hurdles have hindered your progress in the past, and what methods did you capitalise on to go beyond them? Which abilities were sharpened from these experiences? How did these experiences affect your outlook towards life and your goals?

Positions and Duties in Leadership

Retrace your steps and recount what you acquired. Restate lessons you learned from playing a leading role.

Academic Accomplishments and Interests

Reverse the positions, think about yourself, and concentrate on your various achievements in class. How did you develop an interest in these areas, and what have they done to help you reach your goals?

Development of the Self and Self-Awareness

Apart from considering one’s personal developments, consider the times when challenges or disappointments were faced and dealt with. When and how did you confront these challenges? What did you learn about yourself while doing so?

As you think about these events, think about the following questions:

  • What skills did this encounter assist me in developing or improving?
  • What changes has this encounter brought to my ambitions and goals?
  • In what way does this experience relate to my aspirations and objectives?
  • What values or principles did this experience instil or reinforce in me?
  • What precise moments or stories can I draw on?

3. Don't Tell them a Story They Want; Tell them What You Want

When crafting your essays for applications, it is easy to get into the comfort zone of writing in a way that seems pleasant to the members of the admissions committee. This approach, however, often fails to showcase your point. Instead, it is advisable to be unapologetically bold and tell the story you want to tell, regardless of who it will appeal to. Understand that it is very important to be real in your essay.

When writing your personal statement, consider these points:

  • Focus on how the engagement aspects of your essay have been drawn from your unique experiences. 
  • Explain how being unique comes from expressing yourself on your own rather than what you believe the college would prefer to hear.
  • Explain why authentic stories are more interesting as they are true and emotional.
  • Argue that for your essay to capture attention, it is important to be free, vulnerable, and take risks in your narrative.
  • Expressing your wishes reveals more about your true self, and that is what the college is looking for.

4. Be Authentic

Finding one’s values, beliefs, and passions is the heart of authenticity. This starts in the inner space where you try so hard to know yourself and decide which of your values are the most important. There is authenticity in overcoming the temptation to conform to other people’s expectations or remain true to one’s core beliefs. This offered a foundation of integrity and formed the basis of all other forms of honest living.

Here are some remarkable aspects of authenticity:

personal essay with examples

5. Keep it Concise

A well-developed statement is probably an important component of your university application. Therefore, this comprehensive guide is an opportunity to demonstrate your unique features, life history and aspirations to the admission committee.

Moreover, when it comes to providing an essay that stands out, there is a need to ensure that it is written interestingly and coherently and let it remain on topic. Here are some of the suggestions that can help you achieve this:

  • Ensure that there is no room for ambiguity.
  • Provide your readers with relevant examples.
  • Avoid needless information.
  • Choose simple and straight-to-the-point words.

6. Think Outside the Box!

Do not restrict yourself with commonly known details about yourself but be brave and include little more creativity in your paper.

Here are a few helpful hints that will assist you in doing so:

  • Refusal may be miserable, but reluctantly tell the admissions committee your fabulous and unique achievements.
  • In ways that are explosive to emotions or stretch one's imagination, draw a picture on the spare part of the essay and tell a story instead of better structuring it.

Most people approach the task of doing something different as a way of trying to succeed personally and professionally.

7. Use Proper Grammar and Spelling

In a personal statement, an applicant must pay attention to the structure of the essay, including spelling and grammatical conventions. To eliminate such mistakes, it is recommended to:

  • Carry out a basic form to improve the writing of the essay.
  • Utilise online resources for grammar and spell check.
  • Seek feedback.

With these guidelines, students make sure that there will be no errors in answers to personal essay questions about grammar. It is also necessary to organise the document properly to be favourable to the admission board. In addition, you can also get samples from  legit essay writing firms in the UK   to understand the structure of personal essays for university applications. 

8. Revise Often and Edit

Here, we are going to look into the need to edit and revise the answers we have written for the personal essay questions. By following these strategies, you can make your essay stand out.

  • Remove unnecessary elements and improve the organisation of your work.
  • Make your arguments and their supporting evidence stronger.
  • Improve grammatical errors and sentence fluency.
  • Express more of who you are through words and speech.
  • Rectify gaps and inconsistencies in your narratives.

Editing your essay requires you to also look at the spelling, grammar or punctuation of the essay. When doing so, particularly pay attention to grammar, punctuation, length of sentences, word choice, and consistency. 

How to start Editing your Essay?

Essay revision is checking the content, structure, and flow of the essay. While undertaking this process, take into consideration the following:

  • Am I clear and focused in my thesis statement?
  • Does the flow of my answers make sense?
  • Do my anecdotes and examples of work support my points?
  • Am I able to use the same voice/tone throughout the essay?
  • Is there anything else that I could include to give more details?

9. Highlight Your Strengths

To stand out from other applicants, highlight your strengths in the essay. Before you put your pen on paper, spare a minute or two and try to recall particular events, achievements, and traits. To focus on your academic achievements, ask yourself:

  • What are the specific achievements I have attained and the strong skills I possess in university?
  • What are the objectives and aspirations I have about my career?
  • What factors make me different from other people?

To highlight the strong points in your answer to personal essay questions, you can use examples and narratives. In addition, it is also advisable to highlight your soft skills and let your readers feel your passion and excitement.

10. Demonstrate Your Fit

A powerful piece detailing your personal experiences only works when you show how you fit into Georgia College and State University, its beliefs, and its aim. In addition, add the following salient features to your response to personal essay questions:

Background in Academia 

Talk about your academic history first, highlighting any academic projects that show your readiness for the school you are applying to. Give details of any awards, competitions, or activities that underscore your achievements in your area of study.

Experience That Matters

Mention any planned internships or previous work experience which is relevant to the degree or course you are looking for. Explain how these experiences shaped your career goals.

Link to the University

Why do you want to study at Georgia College and State University? Justify why you believe this particular university is the most suitable for you. Explain how you will be useful to the school community considering the faculty members, research facilities and university culture. 

Long-term Vision

Explain what the future is going to hold for you, particularly how you see the contribution you will make to the field of your choice after you finish the degree. Mention how your university education and experiences will create opportunities for you to achieve these goals and promote positive change as well. You may make arguments that positively reinforce yourself in terms of why you are a strong prospect for the program you are applying to. 

11. Get Started Early

It is very important to start dealing with the Georgia College and State University personal essay questions as soon as possible. If you plan early, you will have sufficient time to arrange and write the essay content and predictably proofread it. This is why it is necessary to commence at the earliest point.

Why, then, should you get started early? Here are some of the reasons:

  • Stress is decreased when you start early!
  • You'll generate more ideas if you give yourself more time to brainstorm!
  • You may demonstrate to the admissions committee that you are serious about attending the university.  
  • You are prepared to put in the time and effort to learn more about it by researching it and its core values.
  • You'll have more time to proofread, edit, and refine your responses.

12. Seek Help When Needed

Assistance seeking is very important, particularly when responding to a personal essay question. One can feel immense pressure to perform well, and this is understandable. Furthermore, it’s important to recognise when you are stuck and need help. 

A teacher, mentor, or guidance counsellor offers support to craft a good paper. You can also  purchase your essay  from online resources that will lead to successful admission to your desired university. 

How to answer Georgia College and State University Personal Essay Questions?

Here are the tips for answering these question types;

  • Do not be afraid of making your voice heard. 
  • Structure a clear and interesting essay.
  • Make use of the words and writing skills that you already have.
  • Write about yourself. But don't try to encapsulate your whole life!
  • Answer the question that has been asked.
  • Read it over again!
  • Write on the internet in a networked word processor.

What should be included in College and State University Personal Essay Questions?

It is best to talk about both positive and negative matters, a humiliating experience, or a quality or interest that exemplifies your values. If you are honest about the issue, character flaws, or sad childhood events, the reader will find it far more credible. 

In addition, it will exhibit your personal life experiences that the admission panel wants to know. So, by including all the information, you can fulfil the true objective of such essay types in application forms. 

The importance of the personal essay questions in the Georgia College and State University application process enables candidates to make the best impression and talk more about themselves. An effective essay can provide a student’s perspective to the admission committees, which are usually standardised, and help to distinguish them from everyone else. 

Moreover, students can show in their essays how well they will integrate themselves into the programs by spinning a good and well-organised narrative. Finally, submitting an excellent personal essay shows that the candidate is open and honest. In addition, the applicant understands what the university is all about and its values. 

Students who follow such practice can write a good manuscript, which allows them to develop their competencies and increase their chances of being accepted into university. Thus, they can begin their developmental, educational, and achievement-oriented journey and fulfil all their academic and career ambitions.

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Community Essay Examples

When crafting your college applications, writing strong essays is essential. Through your essays, you demonstrate who you are–from your values and passions to your lived experiences. Indeed the personal statement is the most common college essay. However, you will also likely have to write some supplemental essays as part of your college application requirements. One of the most common supplemental essay types is the community essay. This essay type is also known as a describe the community you live in essay, cultural diversity essay, or community service essay.

In this article, we will introduce several community essay examples. Most importantly, we’ll describe why they are considered college essays that worked. Specifically, we will share community essay examples from the two schools:

  • Princeton University
  • Columbia University

By studying these admissions essay samples, you can see what makes these college community essay examples strong and apply those same principles to your writing.

Reviewing Types of College Essays

Each school has different supplemental essay prompts for their college application requirements. However, there are a few types of essays that are most common. By becoming familiar with these essay types, you can begin to brainstorm and strategize what you will write about early on. You might start as early as sophomore or junior year in high school. 

Now, let’s take a look at the most common supplementary essay questions.

Common Supplementary Essay Questions

1. why school.

A Why School essay is, as it sounds, about why you wish to attend a specific institution. The key to answering this prompt well is to be specific. You should identify examples of what you like about a school. Avoid general comments such as “it is a top school” or “it is diverse.” Share specific programs, professors, teaching approaches, cultural elements, or unique opportunities such as research or study abroad.

2. Why Major

The Why Major essay asks you to share specific reasons behind your choice of major and how it relates to your future goals. A strong response to a Why Major essay will highlight your specific motivations. But it will also connect those motivations to a school’s unique opportunities. For example, perhaps you wish to be a pre-law history major, and the school you are applying to offers law-related internships. By highlighting these specific connections, you draw a compelling connection between yourself and the school.

3. Extracurricular Activity

Many schools ask you to describe an extracurricular activity that is particularly meaningful for you. When responding to this question, do not feel limited to only talk about the most popular extracurricular activities for college applications, like clubs or sports. Consider all of the activities you do outside of school. Then choose the one that is most meaningful to you. Also, give specific examples of how you grew or made an impact within your extracurricular activities for college.

4. Community Essay

The Community Essay can have slightly different angles to it. But, the uniting factor is that the school wants to know how you engage with others around you. Some types of community essays are a describe the community you live in essay or a cultural diversity essay. In recent years, the cultural diversity essay has been a more common college application requirement.

Coming up, we will share a bit more about how to break down community essay prompts. We’ll also take a look at college essays that worked. By reading these examples, you’ll know how to approach these common prompts.

How to identify a community essay?

While community essays can have slightly different focuses, they all share the goal of learning about where you come from. A supplemental essay prompt might ask you to share more about your background via a group you are part of. This is likely a community essay. Indeed, a community essay can also be called a describe the community you live in essay, or a cultural diversity essay. Other college community essay examples focus on how you will contribute to a college campus. Finally, in a describe a community you belong to essay example, you will see that students highlight any community that is meaningful to them.

You may be wondering why so many colleges have community essays as a college application requirement. For one, many colleges use a holistic admissions process. This means they care about all aspects of who you are, not simply your grades and test scores. How you engage with your communities shows them your character and values. For example, a describe the community you live in essay example about visiting church every Sunday demonstrates your commitment to religion. Similarly, a cultural diversity essay helps colleges learn more about your cultural background. 

Additionally, colleges want to learn more about how you will engage with their on-campus community. You’ll notice this important factor in the college community essay examples we will share. To some degree, how you have engaged with previous communities can be an indicator of how you will show up on their campus.

How is a community essay different?

As we mentioned, community essays can have slightly different focuses. Some prompts ask you to write a describe the community you live in essay. These types of community essays are more like cultural diversity essays. 

Keep in mind that the word “community” can have many different meanings. A community can be your school, church, or neighborhood. It could also stem from your interests. For example, your dance or robotics team can form your community.

Some community essay prompts want to know specifically how you help strengthen your communities. These types of essays are considered a community service essay. Another term for community service is “civic engagement.” An example of civic engagement might be getting people in your cultural community to sign up to vote. Or, another could be helping with church fundraisers to ensure that your local community has the resources it needs to thrive. 

In sum, the keywords you might see in a community essay prompt are “civic engagement,” “community service,” “serve your community,” “contribute to your community,” or “diversity.” No matter how it’s phrased, your essay should demonstrate the impact you’ve had on your community–whichever one you choose to highlight. 

What are some examples of community essays?

In this article, we will share several community essay examples. Specifically, we will highlight Princeton essay examples and Columbia essays examples. Let’s look at these two colleges’ essay prompts. 

The first Princeton supplemental essay prompt is a part of our college community essay examples and our cultural diversity essay examples. Here is the prompt:

Princeton Community Essay Prompt #1: Cultural Diversity Essay and College Community Essay Examples

Princeton values community and encourages students, faculty, staff and leadership to engage in respectful conversations that can expand their perspectives and challenge their ideas and beliefs. as a prospective member of this community, reflect on how your lived experiences will impact the conversations you will have in the classroom, the dining hall or other campus spaces. what lessons have you learned in life thus far what will your classmates learn from you in short, how has your lived experience shaped you  (please respond in 500 words or fewer.).

In this cultural diversity essay prompt, Princeton wants to know about your lived experiences. By this, they refer to any experiences that have shaped you profoundly. A lived experience can be a specific event, such as experiencing a car crash or winning an award. Or, it could be a set of experiences that resulted from life circumstances, such as being a first-generation college student or having taken a gap year .

This essay prompt will also lead to college community essay examples. Indeed Princeton wants to read about your lived experiences and how they impacted you. But, they also want to know how you will bring those lessons to the Princeton community, should you enroll . Also, note that this prompt mentions challenging ideas and beliefs via conversation. As you respond, look for ways to highlight how you have engaged in fruitful dialogue and how you would do so at Princeton.

To answer this prompt effectively, share specific examples. Additionally, be sure to answer all parts of the prompt. 

Princeton has a second supplemental essay prompt that focuses on how you engage with your community outside of the classroom. The prompt is as follows: 

Princeton Community Essay Prompt #2: Civic Engagement

Princeton has a longstanding commitment to understanding our responsibility to society through service and civic engagement. how does your own story intersect with these ideals (250 words or fewer) .

To answer this prompt well, you must highlight specific examples of how you have positively impacted your community. As a starting point, consider which of your communities you have most engaged with. How have you done so and what results did you have?

The Columbia Community Essay Prompt is another of our college community essay examples. It is a cultural diversity essay, as well. Here is the prompt: 

Columbia Community Essay Prompt: A Cultural Diversity Essay

A hallmark of the columbia experience is being able to learn and thrive in an equitable and inclusive community with a wide range of perspectives. tell us about an aspect of your own perspective, viewpoint or lived experience that is important to you, and describe how it has shaped the way you would learn from and contribute to columbia’s diverse and collaborative community. (150 words or fewer).

While this prompt is similar to Princeton’s, it also references perspectives and viewpoints. In doing so, the prompt opens you up to share opinions or values that are important to you. You might consider highlighting values in your family or community that you either hold close or disagree with. 

Note that Columbia also highlights the word “collaborative” in this prompt. This indicates that your cultural diversity essay should also show how you collaborate with others.

Which schools require a community essay?

In addition to Princeton and Columbia, many other schools have community essays as part of their college application requirements. Here are some other examples of community essay prompts:

In this UNC-Chapel Hill prompt , you must describe a specific example of how you made an impact on a community. The prompt reads:

The University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill: A Community Service Essay Prompt

Discuss one of your personal qualities and share a story, anecdote, or memory of how it helped you make a positive impact on a community. this could be your current community or another community you have engaged. (250-word limit).

In responding, be sure to highlight what community you are referencing, the specific impact you made, and what personal quality helped you do so.

This prompt from UMichigan is a describe a community you belong to essay example, as well as a cultural diversity essay:

The University of Michigan: Describe a Community You Belong to Essay Example

Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it. (required for all applicants. 1,500 character limit.).

In addition to describing the community, make sure to share how you engage with it and what it has taught you. Remember that community is a broad term. So, for this prompt you can respond with any type of community in mind, whether physical or cultural. In contrast to the describe the community you live in essay, you do not have to be geographically close to the community you describe here.

Duke University: Cultural Diversity Essay Prompts

Duke offers students five supplemental prompts to choose from, of which they can reply to two. Of these supplemental prompts, four are examples of cultural diversity essays:

1. We believe a wide range of viewpoints, beliefs, and lived experiences are essential to maintaining Duke as a vibrant and meaningful living and learning community. Feel free to share with us anything in this context that might help us better understand you and what you might bring to our community.

2. we believe there is benefit in sharing or questioning our beliefs or values; who do you agree with on the big important things, or who do you have your most interesting disagreements with what are you agreeing or disagreeing about, 3. duke’s commitment to inclusion and belonging includes sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. feel free to share with us more about how your identity in this context has meaning for you as an individual or as a member of a community., 4. we recognize that not fully “fitting in” a community or place can sometimes be difficult. duke values the effort, resilience, and independence that may require. feel free to share with us circumstances where something about you is different and how that’s influenced your experiences or identity..

Each of these prompts is a slightly different type of cultural diversity essay, from sharing a range of opinions to not fitting in within a community. Choose the essay prompts that most resonate with you. And share specific examples that bring your cultural diversity essay to life.

In this Yale University supplemental prompt , you must choose a community that you feel connected to and describe why it is meaningful. Here’s the prompt:

Yale University: Describe a Community You Belong to Essay Example

Reflect on your membership in a community to which you feel connected. why is this community meaningful to you you may define community however you like. (400-word limit).

When responding, be sure to highlight what you have learned or how you have grown from this community. In contrast to a describe the community you live in essay, this essay can be about any community, near or far, that resonates with you. Indeed, the prompt gives you plenty of leeway in what you consider community. 

When responding to the UC system prompts , you must choose four of the eight available personal insight questions. One of the PIQs is a community service essay prompt:

The University of California Personal Insight Question: A Community Service Prompt

What have you done to make your school or your community a better place, things to consider: think of community as a term that can encompass a group, team or a place like your high school, hometown or home. you can define community as you see fit, just make sure you talk about your role in that community. was there a problem that you wanted to fix in your community, why were you inspired to act what did you learn from your effort how did your actions benefit others, the wider community or both did you work alone or with others to initiate change in your community.

Similar to many of the other prompts, when answering this question, be sure to identify the specific impact you made on your community.

Now that we have looked at various examples of community essay prompts, we can explore community essay examples. Reading essay examples is a great way to get inspired to write your own college essays. 

In each of the highlighted college essays that worked, note what the author did expertly. Rather than trying to copy their responses, topics, or ideas, consider how you can apply those same skills to your writing. 

Princeton Community Essay Examples

In this section, we will highlight Princeton essay examples that respond to their two community essay prompts: a cultural diversity essay and a community service essay. 

The first of our Princeton essay examples responds to the following Princeton prompt: 

Princeton Essay Examples #1: Cultural Diversity Essay

Now, let’s take a look at a student’s response to this prompt focusing on lived experiences. 

Princeton Essay Examples #1 Student Response

I have spent most of my life living in a 41% minority town of 1.8 square miles called Highland Park, NJ. This typically overlooked town has introduced me to a diverse array of people, and it has been the main influence on my life experiences and core values.

In the face of distinct cultures and customs, we forge a single identity as Highland Parkers and come together to organize large community events. The most prevalent example is our highly touted annual Memorial Day parade, where we join together with neighboring New Brunswick to invite military service members, family members of our fallen war heroes, our legislative and congressional representatives, and our townspeople. Moreover, as our high school band’s vice president, I help organize and lead our ensemble into these performances with a positive and uplifting spirit. We communicate with the town government and arrange the performances every year to perform at the parade. The parade is an example of many of our large community events that serve as a unifying force for our diverse community, reminding us that we are fundamentally connected as one cohesive group, despite our differences. 

As someone deeply interested in historical and political matters, I am well aware of the consequences that arise from dictatorial protocols that limit the freedom of speech and diversity of voices. From my experiences debating in Model UN conferences, I have grown accustomed to being able to present viewpoints from both sides of the argument, and I have learned to incorporate and respect the viewpoints of all sides of an issue before making up my own mind. For example, in a Model Congress debate, I found myself advocating for the interests of a state heavily reliant on traditional fossil fuels. While researching and articulating that perspective, I gained insights into the economic challenges faced by the states that are reliant on these resources. This experience not only broadened my understanding of the complexities surrounding environmental policies but also highlighted the necessity of considering diverse viewpoints for comprehensive decision-making. 

My background and experiences have fostered in me a profound appreciation for the value of diversity, inclusivity, and the pursuit of knowledge. At Princeton University, I will seek to contribute as an active participant in the community, actively provide unique perspectives and insights, and respect and learn from others’ perspectives even if there are disagreements. I wish to partake in student government, which has like-minded peers who want to make a substantive impact, and also participate in service programs like the Civic Leadership Council. Also, I hope to increase my impact from the leadership positions I currently hold on the Red Cross club and teen mayoral advisory council using the platforms in Princeton. I look forward to making a positive impact on both the campus and the broader community. 

Why This Cultural Diversity Essay Worked

In the first of our Princeton essay examples, the student successfully responds to all parts of the Princeton prompt. They begin by describing their community and sharing some details about its makeup. Indeed, the first sentence hooks the reader–it is unique and compelling. 

Then, the student illustrates how they specifically contribute to their community each year by leading the high school band in the Memorial Day parade. They also highlight how their experience in Model UN shaped their appreciation for diverse perspectives. In sharing these two examples, the student demonstrates their leadership and open-minded thinking. Finally, the student ends by highlighting how they would use these values to contribute to Princeton’s community– by partaking in student government and Civic Leadership Council, among other activities.

In the second of our Princeton essay examples, the student responds to the second Princeton prompt which is: 

Princeton Essay Examples #2: A Community Service Essay

Princeton has a longstanding commitment to understanding our responsibility to society through service and civic engagement. how does your own story intersect with these ideals (250 words or fewer).

And, here is a student’s response:

Princeton Essay Examples #2 Student Response

My first experience with the Red Cross was when my older sister was desperately trying to recruit people to join the club during the harsh COVID year. Things were so bad for the club that I, as a freshman, ran for the position of treasurer unopposed. My first blood drive experience was marked by masks, social distancing, and low turnout among blood donors. Even many donors who showed up ended up being turned away due to health-related issues. Needless to say, it was not the greatest first high school service experience, and I admittedly started to doubt if the time I spent on this front was worth it. 

However, as we returned in person, things quickly turned around. As the vice president of the club, I helped recruit more than twice the club membership compared to the previous year, and our blood drives started to regain momentum; our blood targets have been exceeded every time since. Organizing and participating in blood drives has become a passion. It’s fulfilling, especially when I personally donate, to know that I’m actively serving the community and saving lives. I have realized that, despite my relatively young age, I am capable of making an impact through public service. I plan to continue my commitment to the Red Cross’s adult program and participate in service programs like Community Action at Princeton to serve the Princeton community and abroad.

Why This Essay Worked

In this admissions essay sample, we learn about a student’s volunteerism with the Red Cross as an example of civic engagement. This essay works for several reasons. First, it provides a specific example of the student’s civic engagement and demonstrates their impact by becoming vice president and increasing membership. Secondly, the essay provides an honest take on the struggles of this service experience, which lends credibility and authenticity to the story. 

The student also demonstrates an important lesson learned. This aligns with Princeton’s values– that students can have a positive impact on society. 

Columbia University Essay Examples

In this section, we will highlight Columbia essays examples that landed students admission to the prestigious Ivy League university. The first of our Columbia essays examples is written by the same student who responded to the first Princeton prompt above. Here’s a reminder of the Columbia prompt: 

As you read the example below, notice how the student edited their Princeton cultural diversity essay to meet the prompt and lower word count for Columbia:

I have spent most of my life living in a 41% minority town called Highland Park, NJ. This typically overlooked town has introduced me to a diverse array of people, and it has been the main influence on my life experiences and core values. 

HP has convinced me that we can build institutions that are strong and united while embracing a wide variety of voices and perspectives. It has shaped my core values of diversity and inclusion. An English teacher used to encourage me to talk in front of the class by saying even if I believed my thoughts were “dumb,” I could only enrich the conversation.

At Columbia University, I will seek to continue my contributions as an active participant in the community and look to actively provide unique perspectives and insights. Actively engaging in student groups such as ColumbiaVotes will be a big part of my experience. 

The Columbia essay prompt only allows for a 150-word response. This could pose a challenge for many students. What makes this essay among the Columbia essays examples that worked is how succinctly it completely answers the prompt. 

The response begins by hooking the reader with a relevant detail of the student’s community. Then, the student shares how this community shaped them by influencing their values of diversity and inclusion. Finally, the student shares how they would engage with a Columbia organization that also supports diverse viewpoints. Though short and sweet, this response clearly answers all parts of the Columbia prompt. 

More Community Essay Examples

The final of our community essay examples is a community service essay. Let’s look at how student framed their service experience:

“I don’t believe that’s the best way to do this.” 

The moment I thought this the first time I volunteered at my local soup kitchen was one that resulted in a drastic change. When I was informed of the way the food was being served to the public, the initial excitement that I had felt diminished. We were told that the plates would be served before anyone arrived and would remain in an area where people could pick it up and seat themselves. I felt that this method was impersonal and inconsiderate, and disappointment washed over me. 

I turned to the people that were around me and discovered that they shared the same disapproval I felt. When we agreed that a change must be made, we exchanged ideas on how to present this to the woman in charge of the program. I suggested that we should serve each person one-by-one, and only give them the food if they wanted to/could eat it. They suggested multiple ideas, including that we should offer to seat them, hold their plates for them, continue to check in on them, and dispose of their plates once they finish their meal. We believed that this way would genuinely make them feel better and would allow us to get to know some of them personally. A simple smile and conversation could be enough to improve their day. 

From this day on, the way in which the local soup kitchen serves our community has changed dramatically. This experience taught me the importance of speaking up for what you believe in. In a group setting, it is likely that there will be others who share the same end goal and are willing to contribute different ideas to achieve the goal. These different perspectives can allow you to see situations in ways that you previously hadn’t, and can result in better outcomes. It also showed me the importance of leadership.

If I had never spoken up about the way the food was being served, a change might have never happened. When you work in the group, the end goal may not be for the benefit of anyone in the group, but for others who are in need. This experience also showed me the beauty in doing good for others and making others happy, even through small things such as serving them food to their liking.

In this community service essay, the student shares their experience volunteering at a soup kitchen. Volunteering at a soup kitchen is not necessarily unique in the list of extracurricular activities for college applications. However, the student highlights several aspects of the experience that make it meaningful to them. 

To start, the student shares their experience challenging the way that food was served. The student suggested that food be served directly to attendees in order to better connect with community members. Through this experience, the student learns about leadership and working with others to achieve a common goal. This specific example demonstrates the student’s collaborative values and compassionate way of thinking, both of which are great attributes to highlight in college applications.

How To Write A Community Essay

As we saw in the community essay examples, there are several hallmarks of college essays that worked. To write a good community essay, whether it be a community service essay, a cultural diversity essay, or a describe the community you live in essay, you must start by understanding the prompt. Once you have carefully read through the prompt, brainstorm examples from your own life that relate to it. Sharing specific details and examples will make your response stronger and more unique. 

Additionally, showcase how you grew throughout your response. In each of the community essay examples we shared, the student discussed a skill or perspective they developed through their experiences. Finally, connect your response to the school you are applying to. If you are writing a cultural diversity essay, for example, demonstrate how you would contribute to the cultural diversity at that school, both inside the classroom and in your extracurricular activities for college.  

Topics To Avoid In Your Community Essay

When writing community essays, there is technically no topic that you cannot discuss. However, how you discuss certain topics is important. 

For example, in a community service essay, it is important to not come off as a savior of a community with less privilege than yourself. Similarly, if you are writing a describe the community you live in essay or a cultural diversity essay, you will want to avoid stereotyping any community. Speaking from your own personal experience as a member of a community is fine. However, generalizing your experience to the community at large can come across as insensitive to that community’s diversity. To avoid these pitfalls, have a variety of people read your community essay examples and look for these dynamics.

Additional Tips for Community Essays

We’ve highlighted the strengths in the community essay examples above. Now we will now share some more tips for making your community essays a strong part of your college applications:

Tips for Writing Community Essays

1. research the college.

When reviewing our college community essay examples, you will notice that students highlight specific clubs, programs, or groups on campus to which they will contribute. If you are specific, you demonstrate real interest in the school which adds strength to your college applications.

2. Tell a story

In each of the college essays that worked, students gave details that told a full story . This story incorporated where they come from and what they learned through their experiences. Rather than telling us who they were, the students used this particular story to show us.

As the college admissions landscape gets ever more competitive, students are sometimes tempted to read other students’ essays and copy ideas. Or, more recently, they may even want to use artificial intelligence to write their essays. However, AI and other students’ experiences won’t show admissions who you really are. Don’t worry about whether you have the best extracurricular activities for college or the most unique cultural diversity essay. Instead, talk about the experiences that truly matter to you. By being honest, you are more likely to come across as convincing and interesting. In each of our college community essay examples, students presented a true and well-thought-out response to the prompts.

Other CollegeAdvisor Essay Resources to Explore 

As you work on your college applications, you might be in search of additional resources. CollegeAdvisor has a wealth of webinars and articles that can help you navigate writing your essays. Here are a few:

More CollegeAdvisor Resources for Essays

1. short essay examples.

Some of the cultural diversity essays you may write will be short, meaning that they are 150 words or less. This article with short essay examples can help you understand how to write short and sweet cultural diversity essays.

2. Cultural Diversity Essay Examples

In this article , you will find additional examples of cultural diversity essays. Many community essays are also cultural diversity essays. As such, becoming familiar with how students write about their cultures is useful.

3. The Ultimate Guide to Supplemental Essays

In this webinar , CollegeAdvisor experts provide a rundown of how to write strong supplemental essays for your college applications. In particular, this webinar will help you decode essay prompts and make sure you answer each prompt fully.

4. Editing Your Supplemental Essays

Once you have read up on college community essay examples and written your cultural diversity essays, you might need help editing them. This webinar will provide tips for how to edit your supplemental essays effectively.

Community Essay Examples – Final Thoughts

Completing your college applications can be a daunting task, especially when you must write multiple essays. For some students, writing cultural diversity essays is challenging. These prompts ask you to dig deep and reflect upon your life influences.

In this guide to community essays, we provided an overview of what a community essay is and how to respond to the different types of community essay prompts. We shared cultural diversity essay examples and describe the community you live in essay examples. We also described what makes these essays strong and how they meet college application requirements. 

In short, the key to writing stand-out essays is to be authentic and thorough in your responses. If you need additional help writing your cultural diversity essay, seek out the support of a trusted resource like CollegeAdvisor. We are here to help you craft the best college applications that could gain you admissions to the school of your dreams!

This article was written by Courtney Ng. Looking for more admissions support? Click here to schedule a free meeting with one of our Admissions Specialists. During your meeting, our team will discuss your profile and help you find targeted ways to increase your admissions odds at top schools. We’ll also answer any questions and discuss how CollegeAdvisor.com can support you in the college application process.

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    Here, we have 5 high quality Personal Statement essay examples from my students over the years. Great Common App Personal Statements tend to give a glimpse into each student's life, thought processes, growth, and maturity. Another trend that you may notice with these essay examples is that they're not entirely CAREER or ACADEMIC based.

  9. How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay

    Focus on a specific moment, and describe the scene using your five senses. Mention objects that have special significance to you. Instead of following a common story arc, include a surprising twist or insight. Your unique voice can shed new perspective on a common human experience while also revealing your personality.

  10. How to Write Your Personal Statement

    A personal statement is a short essay of around 500-1,000 words, in which you tell a compelling story about who you are, what drives you, and why you're applying. To write a successful personal statement for a graduate school application , don't just summarize your experience; instead, craft a focused narrative in your own voice.

  11. Personal Essay Examples

    Personal Essay Examples #1. Hundreds of thousands were fleeing the country, its endless violence, and its senseless injustices. I was born in the midst of a war-torn Colombia in 1993. My mother and I were caught up in this cascade of refugee emigrants. In this way, failed political and legal human rights systems served as a foundation for my ...

  12. How to Write a Personal Statement

    A stellar personal statement starts with stellar writing skills. Enhance your writing ability with a writing course from a top university, like Good with Words: Writing and Editing from the University of Michigan or Writing a Personal Essay from Wesleyan University. Get started for free to level up your writing.

  13. How to Write a Personal Essay for Your College Application

    Here are some tips to get you started. Start early. Do not leave it until the last minute. Give yourself time when you don't have other homework or extracurriculars hanging over your head to ...

  14. How to Write a Personal Essay: 6 Tips for Writing Personal Essays

    Written by MasterClass. Last updated: Sep 9, 2021 • 3 min read. People write personal essays for a number of reasons. High school students write them for college admissions and writers use them to share personal stories with others. A personal narrative essay can enlighten and inspire an audience with information gained from real life ...

  15. Definition and Examples of a Personal Essay

    Observations . The personal essay is one of the most common types of writing assignment--and not only in freshman composition courses. Many employers, as well as graduate and professional schools, will ask you to submit a personal essay (sometimes called a personal statement) before even considering you for an interview.Being able to compose a coherent version of yourself in words is clearly ...

  16. How to Write a Personal Statement That Wows Colleges

    For example, the Common App Essay and Coalition Application Essay are examples of personal statements. Similarly, the ApplyTexas Essays and University of California Essays are also good examples. Personal statements in college admissions are generally not school-specific (those are called "supplemental essays").

  17. The Personal Essay

    The personal essay is a snippet of who you are and where you're coming from - a snapshot for the admissions officers to look at as they read your application. It will never be able to capture everything about you, but you want to make sure that you're giving them your best angle. So sit down, smile, and get to writing!

  18. Personal Statement Format + Examples

    My skin was consistently tan in splotches and ridden with random scratches. My wardrobe consisted mainly of track shorts, Nike shoes, and tournament t-shirts. Gatorade and Fun Dip were my pre-game snacks. The cacophony of rowdy crowds, ref whistles, squeaky shoes, and scoreboard buzzers was a familiar sound.

  19. 10 Amazing Personal Essays

    6. Melissa Febos: " The Wild, Sublime Body ". This essay appeared in Best American Essays 2022 after being published in The Yale Review, and showcases the best of Febos, in that it is intensely corporeal. Febos's personal essay has a very clear subject—her body and her relationship with her body.

  20. 10 MSW Personal Statement Examples (with Commentary)

    Commentary: Clarity of Motivation: The essay effectively communicates the candidate's personal experiences and observations of disparities in their community as key motivators for pursuing social work.; Goal-Oriented: Clearly outlines immediate and long-term goals, demonstrating a focused vision for a career in social work.; Understanding of a Social Issue: The candidate's insight into the ...

  21. Personal Essay

    In writing a personal essay (or essay examples in doc ), a writer must keep the following things in mind. 1. Pick a topic. Choose a topic that is both timely and significant in your area. Your life story can also be considered as a great topic in writing your personal essay.

  22. Writing a Personal Statement

    A personal statement is a narrative essay that connects your background, experiences, and goals to the mission, requirements, and desired outcomes of the specific opportunity you are seeking. It is a critical component in the selection process, whether the essay is for a competitive internship, a graduate fellowship, or admittance to a graduate school program.

  23. How to Write a Personal Essay: Topics, Structure, & Examples

    Fried Rice in One (Not So) Easy Step by Jess. It's another excellent example of a personal essay rated by the admissions committee. Such a simple thing as a cooking experience allowed the readers to see that Jess is not afraid of failure and loves trying something new. 🥇.

  24. Personal Statement for Residency: Examples & Critique

    Personal Statement for Residency: Examples of What Makes a Strong Essay. Crafting a standout personal statement for your ERAS application is crucial. This is your opportunity to present yourself as more than just grades and scores—your personal statement allows you to convey your unique background and journey into medicine, your drive and passion for the field, along with your suitability ...

  25. How to End a Personal Statement: Mastering Conclusion Writing

    In any event, make it consistent with the tone and emphasis of your essay, and make it say what you need it to say about you. 5. Keep It Simple and Authentic. ... This example of a personal statement ending is great because it shows the candidate's passion and how the university's resources will help realise it. It also shows ambition and a ...

  26. Personal Statement Examples: Singapore Students Admitted to

    Personal Connection and Clear Motivation: This essay excels in establishing a strong personal connection to the field of Biomedical Sciences through the story of the student's brother born with Sacrococcygeal Teratoma (SCT). The vivid and heartfelt description of the brother's condition and its impact on the family provides a compelling ...

  27. How to Write a Personal Statement (Tips + Essay Examples)

    In a great personal statement, we should be able to get a sense of what fulfills, motivates, or excites the author. These can be things like humor, beauty, community, and autonomy, just to name a few. So when you read back through your essay, you should be able to detect at least 4-5 different values throughout.

  28. 12 Tips for Answer Georgia College and State University Personal Essay

    Writing a strong personal essay is an essential component of the application process when you apply to Georgia College and State University (GCSU). In the personal essay questions, the themes of career goals, personal growth, and community service are often emphasised. The university asks the students to elaborate on why they are interested in a particular field of study or recount a ...

  29. Community Essay Examples

    The University of North Carolina - Chapel Hill: A Community Service Essay Prompt Discuss one of your personal qualities and share a story, anecdote, or memory of how it helped you make a positive impact on a community. ... Princeton Essay Examples #1: Cultural Diversity Essay Princeton values community and encourages students, faculty, staff ...

  30. How To Write A Best College Essay? Examples Tips And Format

    Personal essay examples focus on individual experience and point of view. The Student Helpline offers assistance in writing the essays that reflect the true self and the experience of the person. How Do You Start A College Essay Example? Start with a strong opening line or a story. In writing unique college essays, the beginning usually ...