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Develop a Strong Personal Statement

Jane Halfhill, 2023 recipient of a Fulbright research grant to study in Italy.

For students, the personal statement is one of the most difficult and most important documents they will ever write. We have the resources to boost your confidence and the know-how to help you write a powerful personal statement.

Debunking the Personal Statement

What it is:.

• Your introduction to the selection committee. This is your story, written by you. It should describe your interests, skills, questions and goals. It should clearly portray continued interest in your field of research and desire to learn more.
• A chance to demonstrate your ability to write and communicate effectively. A well-written personal statement demonstrates your ability to organize your thoughts and communicate clearly. Conversely, an unpolished statement can unintentionally portray the writer as disinterested, unprofessional and careless.
• Your personal statement should articulate your preparedness by clarifying how your past experiences, education and extra-curricular activities have prepared you for your field.

What it isn't:

• A personal autobiography. A personal statement is not the time to write about your childhood, family or hobbies that are not relevant to your field or academic development.
• A resume of accomplishments in essay form. Do not simply list information that is available in your other supporting documents (e.g., resume, transcript). Rather, you should provide context as to why your past accomplishments and experiences are significant to your academic and professional development.
• A plea for the scholarship. This is not the time to beg, plea or justify why you are more deserving of the scholarship than the other applicants. You are eligible for this scholarship for a reason. Focus on your accomplishments, not why your accomplishments make you better than others.

What to Include in Your Personal Statement

Professor Stacy Hubbard from UB's department of English breaks down what you should include in your personal statement.

• Origins of interest in a particular field. This could be a book you read, a lecture you attended or an experience you had.
• Ways in which you have developed your interest. Additional reading, experiments, internships, coursework, summer jobs, science fairs, travel experiences, writing projects, etc. Provide details about what you gained from a particular course or how a particular project or paper has helped you to develop intellectually.
• Reasons for changes in your interests and goals. These changes could be addressed in positive, rather than negative, terms. Instead of saying "I became bored with engineering and switched to physics," try "Through a bridge-design project, I discovered a new interest in thermodynamics and decided to focus my studies on physics."
• Reasons for inconsistencies in your record.  If there is anything unusual or problematic in your record (poor grades, several school transfers, time away from school, etc.) this information needs to be explained in as positive a way, as possible. If you were immature and screwed up, then you matured and shaped up, say so and point to the proof (improved grades, a stellar recent employment record, etc.). Remember, failure of one kind or another, if you learn from it, is good preparation for future success.
• Special skills you have developed, relevant to the planned research.  This could be general knowledge of a field acquired through reading and study or special practical skills (data analysis, fossil preservation, interviewing techniques, writing skills, etc.) that will qualify you to conduct a particular type of research. Be specific about how you acquired these skills and at what level you possess them.
• Character traits, talents or extra-curricular activities outside the field that help to qualify you. If you are particularly tenacious about overcoming obstacles, creative at problem-solving, adaptable to unfamiliar circumstances or just great at organizing teams of people, these qualities can be mentioned as relevant to the research experience. Sometimes the evidence for these traits may be other than academic. Have you have overcome a disability or disadvantage of some kind in your life? Have you persisted in a particularly challenging task? Have lived in different parts of the world and adapted to difference cultures? Have you organized teams of volunteers in the community? Make clear what traits have been developed by these experiences and how these will help you in the research experience. Acknowledge your strengths, but do so humbly.
• Knowledge and/or skills that you hope to acquire through participation in this opportunity.  What is particularly intriguing to you about this opportunity? How will it help you to acquire new skills or carry forward your own research questions?
• Emerging and ongoing questions.  What kinds of unsolved puzzles, problems or potential research paths are of interest to you? Which of these have you explored in school or extra-curricular projects? What sorts of projects do you hope to pursue in the future?
• Future plans and goals.  Do you plan to go to graduate or professional school and in what field? What are your post-graduation goals and why? How would this research opportunity help you to achieve those goals?

The Do's and Don'ts of Writing a Personal Statement

• Adhere to the rules. Note the proper page layout, format and length, and adhere to it.
• Use proper spelling and grammar. An easy way to have your application overlooked is to submit it with spelling and grammatical errors. Use spell-checkers, proof-read and let others review your application, before you submit it.
• Show your audience, don't tell them. It's easy to say "I am a leader," but without concrete examples, your claim isn't valid. Give an example of why you believe you are a leader.
• Don't try to tell them everything. You can't cram your entire life into one personal statement. Choose a few key points to talk about and let your other application materials (resume, letter(s) of recommendation, application, interview, etc.) tell the rest of your story.
• Don't use clichés. Things like "since I was a child" or "the world we live in today" are commonly found in personal statements and don't add any value.
• Don't lie or make things up. This is not the time to fabricate or inflate your accomplishments. Don't try to guess what the committee is looking for and write what you think they want to hear. Invite them in to get to know the real you.

At the end of your personal statement, you want people to think "I'd like to meet this person." That is your end-goal.

UB Resources

• Center for Excellence in Writing
• Graduate Student Association Editing Services

Additional Resources

• Helping Students to Tell Their Stories , The Chronicle of Higher Education
• Preparing a Compelling Personal Statement , profellow.com
• Proposal Writing Resources , University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign
• Purdue Online Writing Lab , Purdue University
• Writing a Winning Personal Statement for Grad School , gograd.com

Crafting the Personal Statement

What is it.

The personal statement is one of the most important parts of a competitive fellowship application. In this statement you have the opportunity to illuminate what drives you and how your background and experiences not only have prepared you to achieve certain goals and work on your particular issue(s) but also make you a strong match for the particular fellowship. The way in which you communicate your story should work towards your ultimate goal of persuading your audience – in this case the selection committee – to award you the fellowship, and it can be helpful to think of this essay as a form of persuasive writing. Here you are making a compelling case for yourself.

What the Personal Statement IS

• Authentic. There’s a reason that this is called a personal statement.
• Reflective. Take stock and consider what pivotal experiences provide insight into your credentials and motivation as they relate to the fellowship criteria and your chosen path.
• Specific. It’s the details that add texture and make a person human.
• Mature. You are positioning yourself as someone with the potential to make an impact in your field; to be taken seriously, you should demonstrate an awareness of the authorities and/or emerging developments in your field.
• Strategic. Consider what story needs to be told in the context of the larger application package.

What the Personal Statement is NOT

• A narrative version of your resume.
• Overly flowery and cliched prose that sounds pretty but doesn’t actually tell us anything.
• A thought piece about an issue or problem without you in the picture.
• A series of general statements and claims that could have just as easily appeared in another applicant’s materials.
• A rehashing of material that appears elsewhere in the application.

The Approach

Think of the personal statement as an intellectual autobiography — one that provides insight into your intellectual development, helping the reader understand what formative experiences have

• shaped your thinking;
• gotten you to this point and led you to pursue this fellowship as the next critical stage in your development;
• and set the stage for what you want to do and the impact that you wish to have.

Start at the End Point

Start by considering the vision: the issue(s) on which you seek to work and the capacity in which you intend to have an impact. That vision becomes the anchor for the narrative. If you know what you want to say at the end, you’ll know what you need to discuss at the beginning and what aspects of your background and experiences to highlight.

You should have a complex personal story, with far more life experiences than you can (or should!) fit into a strong, concise personal statement—the first step is narrowing it all down . Which experiences have laid the groundwork for—and evidence your commitment to—the vision that you’ve identified?

Consider the “Swerves”

Think about the “swerve” moments—the experiences that altered how you were thinking about a particular issue or led you in a new direction of inquiry. Those moments are what propel the narrative forward. The story isn’t simply that change happened but how that change happened and how you reacted to that change.

Show, Don’t Tell

Use concrete examples and anecdotes to support and anchor the narrative. For instance, telling the reader simply that you have developed an appreciation for the challenges of aligning environmental protection and human development initiatives will not be as compelling as discussing an experience or two that introduced you to the scope of—and made you wrestle with—those challenges.

Consider the Larger Whole

Make sure to consider how the personal statement fits into the larger application. Is the personal statement the only required written response in the application? Or is it complemented by other essays? What you cover in the personal statement depends upon what is covered elsewhere in the application.

Plan It Out

Don’t just throw things down and hope something sticks. Reflection and pre-writing are critical to crafting a strong personal statement, as those exercises will allow you to determine not only what pieces to consider but also plan out the scaffolding and flow of the narrative.

How will you tell the story? Once you know what the central pieces are of the story that you wish to tell, you can play around with the order, starting at different places in the narrative. This approach will help you avoid a rigid chronological structure, which may be less interesting and risks transforming the statement into a narrative version of your resume.

Keep the Reader in Mind

It’s important to consider not just the content of the narrative but also the manner in which you tell it. You don’t want to bore the heck out of your reader, particularly since the reader will likely be reviewing a high volume of applications. Give some thought to how to present the narrative in an engaging way that also remains true to your own voice .

Words NOT to Use in Your Personal Statement

• Passion. Just stop with the passion. Your passion wasn’t just lying around for you to discover.
• Interesting. A word that means absolutely nothing.
• Unique. Another word that means absolutely nothing.
• Yearn. #OnlyBronteYearns
• Expose. Sounds a bit indecent.
• Harness. Rein it in.
• Synergy. Need we say more?

5 More Powerful Personal Statement Openings of Fellowship Winners

By ProFellow Founder Dr. Vicki Johnson

A personal statement is your opportunity to express why you are a great candidate for a fellowship or graduate school application. One of the most important lines of your personal statement is the first one, which is where you have a chance to grab your reader’s attention. Ideally, your first sentence or two opens up a brief story or vignette that will demonstrate to the reader why you are motivated to apply to the program or fellowship, and how you embody some of their ideal candidate characteristics, like passion for the subject, intellectual curiosity, leadership skills, community service experience, international experience, or other qualities.

Here are five examples of powerful personal statement openings for winners of highly competitive fellowships.

• “I still remember the damaged smiles of the abandoned, elderly residents at the St. Vincent de Paul house in Curitiba, Brazil like it was yesterday. Their weathered faces lit up as the junior team of Clube Atletico Paranaense and I climbed out of the bus to spend the day with them. I was just seventeen and barely spoke Portuguese, but I immediately wanted to be able to help these people.”

This opening for a Rhodes Scholarship personal statement builds a powerful image in the reader’s mind from the very beginning. It shows the applicant’s passion for helping other people and where that passion came from, his interest in different cultures, and his facility with language.

• “I was singing German long before I ever spoke it. As a classical voice major, I learned early on that the ‘holy trinity’ of languages to be familiar with (if not fluent in) is German, French and Italian.”

This opening for a personal statement for a Fulbright English Teaching Assistantship in Germany shows a strong personal connection to Germany, demonstrates experience in learning languages, and showcases a serious interest in the creative arts–each of which is desirable in a Fulbright ETA candidate.

• “Lady Macbeth was the first role for which I knew I was perfect. In fifth grade I tried to produce Macbeth in my back yard with a bunch of my ten-year-old friends and I cast myself as lady M. However, when the parents found out about my overly-rigorous rehearsal schedule the project was shut down.”

This opening for a personal statement for a Fulbright U.S. Student Award to fund a Master’s in Theater at the University of Exeter quickly establishes the applicant as being passionate about theater in a fun and compelling way. It showcases the applicant’s personality and sets the stage to explore their lifelong interest in theater, building a case that they would be a great fit in the University of Exeter’s MA program.

• “At thirteen, I wanted to explore creativity through reproducing an intricate Renaissance painting. Using dozens of blues and greens, I emulated the brush strokes and shading. And after much toil, I felt confident that museum curators would have a hard time distinguishing between mine and the original.”

This opening for a personal statement for the Gates Cambridge Scholarship gives a unique introduction to the applicant’s strong desire to be creative from a young age. This opening leads into a narrative about how, after exploring the arts, and he ultimately began to see scientific research as a way to channel his innate creativity.

• “I waited patiently by the bench in what all Harvey Mudd chemistry majors call the ‘Super Lab,’ staring for what seemed to be hours at a small flask bubbling with something that looked like a cross between Pepto-Bismol and whipped cream. I was waiting for the color to turn just the right shade of blue before I could go home for a late dinner, but it was obvious that this solution was as far from blue as baseball is from rugby. I realized then that ‘Super Lab’ was not so Super, and neither was a career as a chemist.”

This opening for a personal statement to a law school is very memorable! It sets up the applicant’s story, in which an experience in a lab piqued his interest in intellectual property law. It also showcases his personality and excellent writing ability.

Each of these opening lines draws the reader into a unique and memorable story that explains why the applicant is interested in the fellowship or graduate program. You can identify more personal statement samples like these online by Googling personal statement example pdf with the name of the fellowship or graduate program.

If you would like to see 5 more powerful personal statement openings and why they work, check out this article .

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Related Posts:

• What Makes a Great Personal Statement?
• 5 Powerful Personal Statement Openings of Fellowship Winners
• Register Now: Personal Statement Bootcamp with Dr. Vicki Johnson
• How to a Write Personal Statement for Graduate School
• How to Write a Personal Statement: 6 Exercises to Conquer Writer’s Block

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Ten Steps for Writing an Exceptional Personal Statement

Danielle jones.

All authors are with Emory University School of Medicine

Danielle Jones, MD, is Associate Professor of Medicine, Associate Section Chief of the Division of General Internal Medicine Grady Section, and Associate Program Director, Internal Medicine Residency

J. Richard Pittman, Jr

J. Richard Pittman Jr, MD, is Associate Professor of Medicine, and Program Director, Fourth Year Internal Medicine Sub-Internship

Kimberly D. Manning

Kimberly D. Manning, MD, FACP, FAAP, is Professor of Medicine, and Associate Vice Chair, Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion, Department of Medicine

The personal statement is an important requirement for residency and fellowship applications that many applicants find daunting. Beyond the cognitive challenge of writing an essay, time limitations for busy senior residents on clinical rotations present added pressure. Objective measures such as scores and evaluations paint only a partial picture of clinical and academic performance, leaving gaps in a candidate's full portrait. 1 , 2 Applicants, seemingly similar on paper, may have striking differences in experiences and distances traveled that would not be captured without a personal narrative. 2 , 3 We recommend, therefore, reframing personal statements as the way to best highlight applicants' greatest strengths and accomplishments. A well-written personal statement may be the tipping point for a residency or fellowship interview invitation, 4 , 5 which is particularly important given the heightened competition for slots due to increased participation on virtual platforms. Data show that 74% to 78% of residency programs use personal statements in their interview selection process, and 48% to 54% use them in the final rank. 6 , 7 With our combined 50 years of experience as clerkship and residency program directors (PDs) we value the personal statement and strongly encourage our trainees to seize the opportunity to feature themselves in their words.

Our residency and medical school leadership roles position us to edit and review numerous resident and student personal statements annually. This collective experience has helped us identify patterns of struggle for trainees: trouble starting, difficulty organizing a cogent narrative, losing the “personal” in the statement, and failing to display unique or notable attributes. While a bland personal statement may not hurt an applicant, it is a missed opportunity. 4 , 8 We also have distinguished helpful personal statement elements that allow PDs to establish candidates' “fit” with their desired residency or fellowship. A recent study supports that PDs find unique applicant information from personal statements helpful to determine fit. 4 Personal statement information also helps programs curate individualized interview days (eg, pair interviewers, guide conversations, highlight desirable curricula). Through our work with learners, we developed the structured approach presented here ( Figure 1 ). Applicants can use our approach to minimize typical struggles and efficiently craft personal statements that help them stand out. Busy residents, particularly, have minimal time to complete fellowship applications. We acknowledge there is no gold standard or objective measures for effective personal statement preparation. 9 Our approach, however, combined with a practical tool ( Figure 2 ), has streamlined the process for many of our mentees. Moreover, faculty advisors and program leaders, already challenged by time constraints, can use this tool to enhance their coaching and save time, effort, and cognitive energy.

Structured Approach to Writing a Personal Statement

Ten Steps for Writing an Exceptional Personal Statement: Digital Tool

Note: Use the QR code to download the digital tool and follow the 10 steps highlighted in Figure 1.

Given word count and space limitations, deciding what to include in a personal statement can be challenging. An initial brainstorm helps applicants recall personal attributes and experiences that best underscore key strengths (Step 1). 10 Writing explicit self-affirmations is challenging, so we recommend pairing with a near peer who may offer insight. Useful prompts include:

• ▪ What 3 words best encapsulate me?
• ▪ What accomplishments make me proud?
• ▪ What should every program know about me?

Reflecting on these questions (Step 2) helps elucidate the foundations of the narrative, 10 including strengths, accomplishments, and unique elements to be included. Additionally, the preparation steps help uncover the “thread” that connects the story sequentially. While not all agree that personal or patient stories are necessary, they are commonly included. 5 One genre analysis showed that 97% of applicants to residency programs in internal medicine, family medicine, and surgery used an opening that included either a personal narrative (66%) and/or a decision to enter medicine (54%) or the specialty of choice (72%). 9 Radiology PDs ranked personal attributes as the second most important component in personal statements behind choice of specialty. 9 Further, a descriptive study of anesthesia applicants' personal statements ranked those that included elements such as discussion of a family's or friend's illness or a patient case as more original. 3 We feel that personal and patient stories often provide an interesting hook to engage readers, as well as a mechanism to highlight (1) personal characteristics, (2) journey to and/or enthusiasm for desired discipline, and (3) professional growth, all without giving the impression of being boastful. Sketching these Step 2 fundamentals prepares applicants to begin writing with intention.

Writing and Structuring

Once key elements are identified, the next steps assist with the actual writing. Utilizing information gleaned from the “Preparing” steps, start with a freewriting exercise (Step 3), an unrestricted association of ideas aimed at answering, “What experiences have cultivated my strong interest in pursuing [______]?” At this stage, ignore spelling and grammar. Just write, even if the product is the roughest, rough draft imaginable. 10 Setting a timer for 10 to 15 minutes establishes a less intimidating window to start. Freewriting generates the essential initial content that typically will require multiple revisions. 10

Next, we recommend structuring the freewriting content into suggested paragraphs (Step 4), using the following framework to configure the first draft:

• ▪ Introductory paragraph: A compelling story, experience, or something that introduces the applicant and makes the reader want to know more (the hook). If related to a patient or other person, it should underscore the writer's qualities.
• ▪ Paragraph 2: Essential details that a program must know about the applicant and their proudest accomplishments.
• ▪ Paragraph(s) 3-4: Specific strengths related to the specialty of choice and leadership experiences.
• ▪ Closing paragraph: What the applicant values in a training program and what they believe they can contribute.

Evaluate what has been written and ensure that, after the engaging hook, the body incorporates the best pieces identified during the preparation steps (Step 5). A final paragraph affords ample space for a solid conclusion to the thread. Occasionally the narrative flows better with separate strengths and leadership paragraphs for a total of 5, but we strongly recommend the final statement not exceed 1 single-spaced page to reduce cognitive load on the reader.

This part of the process involves revising the piece into a final polished personal statement. Before an early draft is shared with others, it should be evaluated for several important factors by returning to the initial questions and then asking (Step 6):

“Does this personal statement…”

• Amplify my strengths, highlight my proudest accomplishments, and emphasize what a program must know about me?
• Have a logical flow?
• Accurately attribute content and avoid plagiarism?
• Use proper grammar and avoid slang or profanity?

While not as challenging as the other steps, optimization takes time. 10 At this stage, “resting” the draft for 1 week minimum (Step 7) puts a helpful distance between the writer and their work before returning, reading, and editing. 10 Writers can edit their own work to a point, but they often benefit by enlisting a trusted peer or advisor for critiques. Hearing their draft read aloud by a peer or advisor allows the applicant to evaluate the work from another perspective while noting how well it meets the criteria from the tool (provided as online supplementary data).

A virtual or in-person meeting between applicant and mentor ultimately saves time and advances the writer to a final product more quickly than an email exchange. Sending the personal statement in advance helps facilitate the meeting. Invite the advisor to candidly comment on the tool's criteria to yield the most useful feedback (Step 8). When done effectively, edits can be made in real time with the mentor's input.

We bring closure to the process by focusing on spelling and grammar checks (Step 9). Clarity, conciseness, and the use of proper English were rated as extremely important by PDs. 3 , 9 Grammatical errors distract readers, highlight inattention to detail, and detract from the personal statement. 3 , 9 Once more, we recommend resting the draft before calling it final (Step 10). If the piece required starting over or significant rewriting based on feedback received, we also suggest seeking additional feedback on this draft, ideally from someone in the desired residency or fellowship discipline. If only minor edits (eg, flow, language) were incorporated, the personal statement can be considered complete at this time.

Writing a personal statement represents a unique opportunity for residency and fellowship applicants to amplify their ERAS application beyond the confines of its objective components. 3 Using this stepwise approach encourages each personal statement to be truly personal and streamlines the process for applicants and reviewers alike. All stakeholders benefit: applicants, regardless of their scores and academic metrics, can arm themselves with powerful means for self-advocacy; PDs gain a clearer idea of individual applicants, allowing them to augment the selection process and curate the individual interview day; and faculty mentors can offer concrete direction to every mentee seeking their help.

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General Advice

A good fellowship application always has a compelling narrative. The basic narrative should connect your past experiences with your future goals and explain how the fellowship opportunity will bridge between the two. The Personal Statement gives you an opportunity to flesh out this narrative and tell your unique story. Selection committees will already know quite a bit about you from other application materials—they will know which classes you took and how you did, the jobs you have had and your extracurricular involvements, the opinions of your professors. However, what they will not know is what it has all meant to you. What do you care about? Why have you focused on these particular goals? Who influenced you? What put you on this particular path?

Think about the people you know best—friends and family members. Now imagine their lives as a series of data points, transcripts, resumes, and letters of recommendation. What part of the picture would be missing? Their individual stories, personalities, and the summation of their experiences. Everything that makes them particularly unique. You may, for instance, have two friends who both have the same GPA, have played the same sport, are majoring in the same subject, and active in the same clubs. But beyond this basic biographical data, your friends are each entirely different. Your Personal Statement is your chance to fill in the story that only you can tell, and which cannot possibly be communicated through the record of your achievements alone. Your GPA and other data tell the committee that you are a strong candidate, while your Personal Essay should convince them that you are someone they want to interview or select for their fellowship.

Beyond telling your story, the Personal Essay is also a place to discuss your goals. You want to strike a balance between being ambitious and realistic. Remember that fellowship committees are looking for a reason to invest in you. If they give you this opportunity, what might you be able to do as a result? No one can say with absolute certainty what the future holds, but you should be able to speak with conviction about your current plans and what you hope to achieve. Be sure you have researched your goals and plans. If you want to get a master’s degree in Sociology, for instance, talk to professors in your field about the best schools and programs—and know for sure if it makes sense to pursue an MA or a PhD based on what you hope to do. Likewise, if, for instance, you hope to run for office, figure out some possible trajectories to achieve what you hope to achieve (where would you run? What level? How would you build a coalition)?

Leadership Essays

Several fellowships now require separate essays on Leadership, often asking you to describe your most significant leadership experience. Keep in mind that leadership is not just about leading an organization. You are exhibiting leadership any time you have an idea and are able to get other people behind your idea. Thus, leadership can be intellectual and artistic as well as political or organizational. The leadership essay is a type of personal essay, another way for the selection committee to get to know you. Be sure to tell a compelling story and keep the focus on you, not on the organization. While many leadership experiences are collaborative, be careful about over-using a vague “we” pronoun (“Because we took this new approach, we were able to raise more than $1000.).” Be clear about your own personal contributions as a leader.

Word Counts and Character Issues

Most scholarships set word or character limits for personal statements and other essays. You should aim to get as close to the word or character limit as reasonably possible without going over it—you want to use every opportunity to tell your story, but must always follow the rules and guidelines set forth by each scholarship.

As a general rule, first compose and revise your essays without thinking too much about the length. For your first draft, get out everything you want to say without thinking at all about how many words or characters you are using. As you revise, you should get within the general range of the word count, but keep your focus on content, not on word count. Once you have a near-final draft, you are then ready to pare down your essay to get it within the word count. Take a rigorous and dispassionate approach to your writing—it is often helpful at this step to print out your essay and use a red pen. In addition to looking for unnecessary content, you also want to look for ways to make your writing more concise. Although this process can be time consuming, it will inevitably make your writing stronger and more direct. Be sure to budget for the extra time it will take for this final paring-down editing pass. For ideas on what types of extra verbiage to target as you are editing down your essay, see Joseph Williams and Joseph Bizup’s helpful discussion of “Concision” from Style: The Basics of Clarity and Grace, Fifth Edition (New York: Pearson, 2015, pp 82-88). Applicants can contact Dr. Smolin directly for a copy of the relevant pages.

Things to Watch Out For

Dartmouth’s fellowship advisors read many personal statements. Below are some issues we often find come up—either things we recommend against or issues that you should consider carefully.

Acronyms can be frustrating for selection committee readers, who must read and process essays quickly. Even if you introduce a term first (“I worked for the Dartmouth Entrepreneurial Network [DEN],” readers will likely not remember the meaning later in the essay. Unless the acronym is broadly understood (NASA, Scuba, EPA, NEH, etc.), avoid it.

Contractions

Contractions like “I’m,” “isn’t,” “can’t,” etc., are informal. Generally, you should avoid them in application essays and adopt a more formal tone. Some scholarships, however, such as the Truman, prefer that you write closer to how you speak, in which case you might decide to use them.

Controversial Subjects/Partisan Opinions

You should never avoid a subject that you are passionate about and that is relevant to your goals because of fears that you may alienate a partisan/conservative/liberal committee. At the same time, anticipate a selection committee with widely varying opinions. Focus on explaining why the issue is important to you. A reader might personally disagree with you but still feel strongly that you are an ideal recipient for the scholarship. Committees are looking for people to support, not ideas or issues to support.

Dartmouth Jargon

Selection committees for national fellowships will likely not be familiar at all with campus life at Dartmouth and may not even have heard of Dartmouth. Avoid terms that are Dartmouth-specific (for instance, D-Plan, Trips, etc.) and give context or explanations where needed. It is generally also good to avoid phrases like, “When I graduate from Dartmouth…” Readers familiar with Dartmouth might think that you are name-dropping, and readers unfamiliar with Dartmouth (there are some out there!) may find this tedious.

Pop Culture References

Approach these with an excess of caution. It is extremely likely that some members of a selection committee (or all) will not understand a pop culture reference that seems simple and obvious to you. A reference that no one gets gets you nowhere.

Sensitive Personal Information

Application essays are all about telling your story and letting the selection committee get to know you. While you can get personal, you should be careful about getting too personal—avoid oversharing, too much self-deprecation, or personal stories that do not have a greater relevance. While applicants often write movingly about overcoming doubts and challenges, it’s essential to tie such anecdotes to a broader theme. Also take care not to inadvertently give selection committees reasons to doubt your ability to carry out your project.

Seeking Help

Before you seek feedback or input on your essay, make sure that the fellowship to which you are applying allows you to get help. Some fellowships, such as the Rhodes and Mitchell, expressly forbid you from getting any assistance.

The Fellowship Advisors at the Office of Fellowship Advising provide feedback on personal essays for endorsed scholarships when it is permissible to do so. We ask that you send drafts at least 24-hours before you wish to meet to discuss them and at least two weeks before the deadline of the fellowship.

Drafting a personal statement

View your personal statement as a narrative that paints a portrait of you as an individual and demonstrates your passion for your field of inquiry..

For help preparing your personal statement and other writing materials, contact the Writing and Communications Center (WCC). The WCC offers free one-on-one professional advice from communication experts. All of these experts are MIT lecturers with advanced degrees. All are experienced college classroom teachers of communication. All are published scholars and writers.

Many departments within the School of Engineering have a  communications lab  offering individual coaching, targeted workshops, and a spectrum of initiatives for their students. Regardless of your school or discipline, their online CommKit is  open and available to all .

A “hook” is an interesting or eye-catching statement, anecdote, fact, or question placed at the beginning of a piece of writing.

Fellowships are competitive, and individual reviewers may be looking at hundreds of applications at a time. Anything that captures a reader’s attention and makes you stick out in the pile can make a real difference, so include a strong “hook.”

Show creativity

The personal statement is not just a story about your trajectory, but a place to show your creativity. Craft the statement so that the reviewers see you as an individual and not just another applicant in the pile. For example, you can start with a story of how you became interested in science (avoiding clichés, of course) or give an example of an obstacle you had to overcome.

Share your personal experience & goals

Synthesize several of the following in your statement. Choose your topics based based on their relevance to the fellowship’s goals, your research, and your career path:

• Your life experience
• Your personal history
• Your family background
• The education and cultural opportunities (or lack of, if there is a desire to learn more) to which you have been exposed
• Major influences to your intellectual development
• Your career goals
• How you plan to use the skills you will develop while supported by the fellowship

Every word counts, and how the statement is organized and how you use the limited space is often part of the review criteria.

Reference the fellowship’s mission

If the fellowship is looking for applicants that can achieve stated goals or live by certain ideals, address these in the personal statement. For example, the NSF GRFP’s two-part criteria states that their applicants and their research are of intellectual merit and will make a broader impact on society.

Tie it all together

A fellowship application is not a collection of individual documents. It is an application package, so everything should be tied together.

The personal statement should demonstrate that you are organized, strategic, and have a clear thought process, showing that you are qualified to carry out the work in your research proposal.

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How to Write a Strong Personal Statement

by Ruth Gotian and Ushma S. Neill

Summary .   

Whether applying for a summer internship, a professional development opportunity, such as a Fulbright, an executive MBA program, or a senior leadership development course, a personal statement threads the ideas of your CV, and is longer and has a different tone and purpose than a traditional cover letter. A few adjustments to your personal statement can get your application noticed by the reviewer.

• Make sure you’re writing what they want to hear. Most organizations that offer a fellowship or internship are using the experience as a pipeline: It’s smart to spend 10 weeks and $15,000 on someone before committing five years and $300,000. Rarely are the organizations being charitable or altruistic, so align your stated goals with theirs
• Know when to bury the lead, and when to get to the point. It’s hard to paint a picture and explain your motivations in 200 words, but if you have two pages, give the reader a story arc or ease into your point by setting the scene.
• Recognize that the reviewer will be reading your statement subjectively, meaning you’re being assessed on unknowable criteria. Most people on evaluation committees are reading for whether or not you’re interesting. Stated differently, do they want to go out to dinner with you to hear more? Write it so that the person reading it wants to hear more.
• Address the elephant in the room (if there is one). Maybe your grades weren’t great in core courses, or perhaps you’ve never worked in the field you’re applying to. Make sure to address the deficiency rather than hoping the reader ignores it because they won’t. A few sentences suffice. Deficiencies do not need to be the cornerstone of the application.

At multiple points in your life, you will need to take action to transition from where you are to where you want to be. This process is layered and time-consuming, and getting yourself to stand out among the masses is an arduous but not impossible task. Having a polished resume that explains what you’ve done is the common first step. But, when an application asks for it, a personal statement can add color and depth to your list of accomplishments. It moves you from a one-dimensional indistinguishable candidate to someone with drive, interest, and nuance.

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