essay about an old friend

127 Friendship Essay Topic Ideas & Examples

When you have a good friendship topic, essay writing becomes as easy as it gets. We have some for you!

📝 Friendship Essay Structure

🏆 best friendship topic ideas & essay examples, 💡 good essay topics on friendship, 🎓 simple & easy friendship essay titles, 📌 most interesting friendship topics to write about, ❓ research questions about friendship.

Describing a friend, talking about your relationship and life experiences can be quite fun! So, take a look at our topics on friendship in the list below. Our experts have gathered numerous ideas that can be extremely helpful for you. And don’t forget to check our friendship essay examples via the links.

Writing a friendship essay is an excellent way to reflect on your relationships with other people, show your appreciation for your friends, and explore what friendship means to you. What you include in your paper is entirely up to you, but this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t structure it properly. Here is our advice on structuring an essay on friendship:

• Begin by selecting the right topic. It should be focused and creative so that you can earn a high mark. Think about what friendship means to you and write down your thoughts. Reflect on your relationship with your best friend and see if you can write an essay that incorporates these themes. If these steps didn’t help – don’t worry! Fortunately, there are many web resources that can help you choose. Browse samples of friendship essays online to see if there are any topics that interest you.
• Create a title that reflects your focus. Paper titles are important because they grasp the reader’s attention and make them want to read further. However, many people find it challenging to name their work, so you can search for friendship essay titles online if you need to.
• Once you get the first two steps right, you can start developing the structure of your essay. An outline is a great tool because it presents your ideas in a clear and concise manner and ensures that there are no gaps or irrelevant points. The most basic essay outline has three components: introduction, body, and conclusion. Type these out and move to the next step. Compose an introduction. Your introduction should include a hook, some background information, and a thesis. A friendship essay hook is the first sentence in the introduction, where you draw the reader’s attention. For instance, if you are creating an essay on value of friendship, include a brief description of a situation where your friends helped you or something else that comes to mind. A hook should make the reader want to read the rest of the essay. After the hook, include some background information on your chosen theme and write down a thesis. A thesis statement is the final sentence of the first paragraph that consists of your main argument.
• Write well-structured body paragraphs. Each body paragraph should start with one key point, which is then developed through examples, references to resources, or other content. Make sure that each of the key points relates to your thesis. It might be useful to write out all of your key points first before you write the main body of the paper. This will help you to see if any of them are irrelevant or need to be swapped to establish a logical sequence. If you are composing an essay on the importance of friendship, each point should show how a good friend can make life better and more enjoyable. End each paragraph with a concluding sentence that links it to the next part of the paper.
• Finally, compose a conclusion. A friendship essay conclusion should tie together all your points and show how they support your thesis. For this purpose, you should restate your thesis statement at the beginning of the final paragraph. This will offer your reader a nice, well-balanced closure, leaving a good impression of your work.

We hope that this post has assisted you in understanding the basic structure of a friendship paper. Don’t forget to browse our website for sample papers, essay titles, and other resources!

• Gilgamesh and Enkidu Friendship Essay The role of friendship in the Epic of Gilgamesh is vital. This essay unfolds the theme of friendship between Gilgamesh and Enkidu that develops in the course of the story.
• Friendship of Amir and Hassan in The Kite Runner The idea of friendship in The Kite Runner is considered to be one of the most important, particularly in terms of how friendship is appreciated by boys of different classes, how close the concepts of […]
• Classification of Friendship Best friends An acquaintance is someone whose name you know, who you see every now and then, who you probably have something in common with and who you feel comfortable around.
• Friendship and Friend’s Support It is the ability to find the right words for a friend, help in a difficult moment, and find a way out together.
• Friendship as a Personal Relationship Friends should be people who are sources of happiness to one another and will not forsake each other even when everybody around is against them.
• The Confessions of St. Augustine on Friendship: Term Paper Augustine of Hippo believes that the only real source of friendship is God, and he adds that it is only through this God-man relationship that people can understand the ideal meaning of friendship.
• Friendship in The Old Man and The Sea The book was the last published during the author’s lifetime, and some critics believe that it was his reflection on the topics of death and the meaning of life.
• “Is True Friendship Dying Away?” and “The Price We Pay” Then Purpose of the essay is to depict the way social media such as Facebook and Twitter have influenced the lifestyles of every person in the world.
• Defining of True Friendship This is the same devotion that my friends and I have toward each other. Another thing that best defines friends is the sacrifices that they are willing to make for each other.
• Gender and Cultural Studies: Intimacy, Love and Friendship Regardless of the driving force, intimacy and sexual connections are common in many happy relationships. Of significance is monogamy whose definition among the heterosexuals and lesbians remains a challenge.
• Friendship as Moral Experience One of the things I have realized over the course of the last few years is that while it is possible to experience friendship and have a deep, spiritual connection with another person, it is […]
• Friendship’s Philosophical Description In order for a friendship to exist, the two parties must demonstrate first and foremost a willingness to ensure that only the best occurs to their counterpart.
• Greek and Roman Perspectives on Male Friendship in Mythology The reason for such attitude can be found in the patriarchal culture and the dominant role of free adult males in the Greek and Roman social life. However, this was not the only, and probably […]
• The Theme of Friendship in the “Arranged” Film As can be seen, friendship becomes the source of improved emotional and mental well-being, encouraging Rochel and Nasira to remain loyal to their values and beliefs.
• Friendship in the ‘Because of Winn Dixie’ by Kate Dicamillo In the book “Because of Winn Dixie”, Kate DiCamillo focuses on a ten-year-old girl India Opal Buloni and her friend, a dog named Winn Dixie.
• Analysis of Internet Friendship Issues Despite the correlation that develops on the internet, the question of whether social media can facilitate and guarantee the establishment of a real friend has remained a key area of discussion.
• The Importance of Friendship in “The Epic of Gilgamesh” At the beginning of the story, Gilgamesh, the king of the Sumerian city of Uruk, despite achievements in the development of the town, causes the dislike of his subjects.
• Friendship’s meaning around the world Globally it’s very ludicrous today for people to claim that they are in a friendship yet they do not even know the true meaning of friendship.
• Friendship Type – Companionship Relationship A friendship is ideally not an obsession since the latter involves a craving for another person that might even lead to violence just to be in site of the other party.
• Friendship: To Stay or to Leave Each member of the group found out who really is a friend and who is not. This implies that the level of trust is high between Eddie and Vic.
• “Feminism and Modern Friendship” by Marilyn Friedman Individualism denies that the identity and nature of human beings as individuals is a product of the roles of communities as well as social relationships.
• Social Media Communication and Friendship According to Maria Konnikova, social media have altered the authenticity of relationships: the world where virtual interactions are predominant is likely to change the next generation in terms of the ability to develop full social […]
• Faux Friendship and Social Networking The modern-day relationships have dissolved the meaning of the word friendship; as aromatic lovers refer to each other as friends, parents want their children to think of them as friends, teachers, clergymen and bosses have […]
• Effect of Friendship on Students’ Emotional Health The study discovered a significant positive correlation between the quality of new friendships and adjustment to university; this association is more robust for students living in residence than those commuting to university. Friday and Adkins […]
• True Friendship from Personal Perspective The perfect understanding of another person’s character and visions is one of the first characteristics of a true friendship. In such a way, true friendship is an inexhaustible source of positive emotions needed for everyone […]
• How to Develop a Friendship: Strategies to Meet New Friends Maintaining a connection with old friends and finding time to share life updates with them is a good strategy not to lose ties a person already has. A person should work hard to form healthy […]
• Friendship and Peer Networking in Middle Childhood Peer networking and friendship have a great impact on the development of a child and their overall well-being. Students in elementary need an opportunity to play and network with their peers.
• Friendship in “The Song of Roland” This phrase sums up Roland’s predicament in the book as it relates to his reluctance to sound the Oliphant horn. In the final horn-blowing episode, Roland is aggressively persuaded to blow the horn for Charlemagne’s […]
• Trust Aspect of Friendship: Qualitative Study Given the previous research on preserving close communication and terminating it, the authors seek to examine the basics of productive friendship and the circumstances that contribute to the end of the interaction.
• Educator-Student Relationships: Friendship or Authority? Ford and Sassi present the view that the combination of authority and the establishment of interpersonal relations should become the way to improve the performance of learners.
• Friendship in the Film “The Breakfast Club” The main themes which can be identified in the storyline are crisis as a cause and catalyst of friendship, friendship and belonging, and disclosure and intimacy in friendship.
• Friendship Police Department Organizational Change The one that is going to challenge the efforts, which will be aimed at rectifying the situation, is the lack of trust that the employees have for the new leader who they expect to become […]
• Friendship in the Analects and Zhuangzi Texts The author of “The Analects of Confucius” uses the word friend in the first section of the text to emphasize the importance of friendship.
• Is There Friendship Between Women? In conclusion, comparing my idea of women’s friendship discussed in my proposal to the theoretic materials of the course I came to a conclusion that strong friendship between women exists, and this is proved in […]
• Online Friendship Formationby in Mesch’s View The modern world tends to the situation when people develop the greatest empathy towards their online friends because it seems that the ratio and the deepness of these relationships can be controlled; written and posted […]
• Canadian-American Diefenbaker-Eisenhower Friendship In particular, the paper investigates the Mandatory Oil Import Program and the exemption of Canada from this initiative as well as the historical treaty that was officially appended by the two leaders in regard to […]
• Friendship from a Sociological Perspective For example Brazilians studying in Europe and United States were met with the stereotypes that Brazilians are warm people and are easy to establish friendships.
• Friendship Influencing Decisions When on Duty The main stakeholders are the local community, the judge, and the offenders. The right of the society is to receive objective and impartial treatment of its members.
• “Understanding Others, and Individual Differences in Friendship Interaction in Young Children”: Article Analysis The aspect of socio-cognitive abilities of small children in the process of interaction was disclosed with the help of psychological theories.
• Friendship: Sociological Term Review But one is not aware of that type of friendship; it is necessary to study it. Friendship is a matter of consciousness; love is absolutely unconscious.
• The Significance of Friendship in Yeonam The paper examines the depth and extent to which Yeonam was ready to go and if he was bound by the norms of the human friendship and association of his era.
• Cicero and Plutarch’s Views on Friendship He believed that befriending a man for sensual pleasures is the ideal of brute beasts; that is weak and uncertain with caprice as its foundation than wisdom. It is this that makes such carelessness in […]
• Friendship: The Meaning and Relevance Although the basic definition of a friendship falls under the category of somebody whom we feel a level of affection and trust for or perhaps a favored companion, the truth of the matter is that […]
• Fate of Friendship and Contemporary Ethics Is friendship possible in the modern world dominated by pragmatism and will it exist in the future? For instance, Cicero takes the point of view of the social entity, in other words, he defines friendship […]
• Feminism and Modern Friendship While criticizing these individuals, Marilyn asserts that the omission of sex and gender implies that these individuals wanted to affirm that social attachment such as societies, families, and nationalities contribute to identity rather than sex […]
• Creating a Friendship Culture This family will ensure every church member and youth is part of the youth ministry. I will always help every newcomer in the ministry.
• Friendship is in Everyone’s Life Though, different books were written in different times, the descriptions of a friendship have the same essence and estimate that one cannot be completely satisfied with his/her life if one does not have a friend.
• Intimacy, Love and Friendship and how they translate to employability The use of love and its conventions in the NAB campaigns is an illustration of how love as a concept can be used to translate to employability.
• Intimacy, Love and Friendship In the past, women in Australia led a life characterized by a lot of hardships because of the harsh traditions that they were supposed to follow.
• Contemporary Understanding of Intimacy and Friendship The Social Network film discusses how Facebook was developed and the challenges of developing the giant social site. Many people are of the view that Facebook has the effect of enslaving them by making their […]
• Interpretation of Friendship among Confucian and Neo-Confucian writers In his article “The Fifth Relationship; Dangerous Friendships in the Confucian Context”, Norman Kutcher explores the friendship as outlined under the Confucian system. The above writers have different interpretations of friendship of the under the […]
• Why International Students Find It Hard to Make Friends On the other hand, in societies that promote a high power distance, less powerful individuals accept their position in the chain of command and acknowledge the strengths of their superiors in the hierarchy.
• Gender Stereotyping and Friendship: Women Relationships The most interesting about this article is its ending which states that” the core of a friendship has to have more in-person interactions and experience”.
• The Impact of Friendship in the Epic of Gilgamesh The elusive coalition between Enkidu and Gilgamesh, their fateful destinies and eventual epiphanies broaden the societal apprehension of the elements/value of friendship as expounded in the next discussion.
• Woman Intimacy and Friendship with the Appearance of Social Media The anonymity provided by the social media makes this medium very appealing to both women and men as they are able to “reconstruct” themselves to a level they deem “cool” enough to garner more desired […]
• Childhood Friendship and Psychology Based on their research, they have founded a theory, according to which it is assumed that the children consider close relationship, appraisals, and sharing common interests as something very important to them and on the […]
• Aristotle’s Ideas on Civic Relationships: Happiness, the Virtues, Deliberation, Justice, and Friendship On building trust at work, employers are required to give minimum supervision to the employees in an effort to make the latter feel a sense of belonging and responsibility.
• Gender Role Development and Friendship As far as the conflict goes, the boy’s main problem is that he is unwilling to change his behavior towards a socially accepted one under the pretext that girls are more beautiful and, therefore, it […]
• Article Study on the Friendship Concept In the critical review article, the views of Norman Kutcher on the formation of friendships are discussed in detail. In this article, the views of other scholars are discussed in order to strengthen the works […]
• Henry Thoreau: The Concept of the Friendship Not every person is able to understand the essence of nature, its uniqueness, and importance. To my mind, his close connection to nature and a kind of isolation from people helped him to understand deeper […]
• Why Honesty Is Important In A Friendship
• The Truth and Friendship in the Movie Camelot
• A Discussion About the Value of Friendship as Portrayed in Damon and Pythias
• What Is the Meaning of True Friendship
• A Literary Analysis of Friendship in Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare
• Factors Contributing to the Ups and Downs of Friendship in Knowles’ A Separate Peace
• Friendship and Love in the Little Prince
• Confidantes, Marriage, and Friendship in Pride and Prejudice
• What Makes A Successful Friendship
• Understanding Friendship Through The Staircase Model
• An Analysis of Friendship and Rejection in The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
• A Discussion on the Different Types of Friendship
• An Analysis of Friendship in Lord of the Flies by William Golding
• A Literary Analysis of Friendship in a Separate Peace by John Knowles
• An Analysis of the Concept of Friendship in A Separate Piece by John Knowles
• A Separate Peace and Of Mice and Men – Real Friendship
• The Theme of True Friendship in the Book of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
• The Value of Friendship in Great Expectations
• What Makes A Good Friendship
• The Theme of Friendship in Separate Ways by Higuchi Ichiyo and Uncanny Stories by SongLing
• Virtual Friendship and the New Narcissism
• The Waltz Of Sociability : Intimacy, Dislocation And Friendship
• The True Meaning of the Word Friendship
• A Description of Impartiality, Beneficence and Friendship According to Lawrence Blum
• Aristotle ‘s Views On Friendship
• Friendship and Courage in The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway
• An Analysis of Friendship and Loyalty in the Film The Deer Hunter
• Turning Away from True Friendship
• Different Types of Friendship and The Need for Friends
• An Analysis of the Dangers of Friendship
• The Victorian Female Friendship and Homosexual References in Emily Dickinson’s Work
• What Is Friendship And How Is God Man ‘s Best Friend?
• The Venerable Kassapa Thera: A Living Symbol of Dedication, Courage, Altruism and Intimate Friendship
• “The Undoing Project: A Friendship that Changed Our Minds” by Michael Lewis
• Building from Happiness to Friendship
• What Do You Think Steinbeck Says About the Theme of Friendship in of Mice and Men
• Distributive Justice and the Problem of Friendship
• How Does Shakespeare Demonstrate That Love and Friendship Can Overcome Greed in the Merchant of Venice?
• Does Borrowing Money From Friends Harm Friendship?
• Can Friendship Be Defined by Any Scientific Criteria?
• How Can Enduring Happiness Arise From Friendship?
• Does Campus Diversity Promote Friendship Diversity?
• Is There Any Objection to the Teacher Establishing a Friendship Relationship With the Students?
• How Do Children Cope With Friendship and Death After Reading Charlottes Web?
• Does Ragging Develop Friendship?
• How Does Shakespeare Create Friendship?
• Should Becoming Friends With Benefits Ruin Your Friendship?
• How Does the Nature of Children’s Friendship Change With Age?
• Do Friendships Vary Across Countries?
• What Are Friends for and How Can a Friendship Be Tested?
• How Does the Theme of Loneliness Affect the Friendship and Relationships in “Of Mice and Men”?
• What Are the Elements That Build a Strong Friendship?
• How Does Friendship Help Students Succeed in the University?
• What Does Friendship Mean?
• How Does Friendship Help With Your Mental Health?
• What Does True Friendship Require?
• How Do Friendship Network Characteristics Influence Subjective Well-Being?
• What Was Aristotle’s Thought on Friendship?
• How Do Friendship Networks Work in Online P2P Lending Markets?
• Why Is Friendship Important?
• How Has Friendship Changed Because of the Spread of Social Networking?
• Why Does Friendship End?
• How Do Society and Culture Affect Friendship?
• Can Everything Be Bought for Money?
• How Do Gamers Take the Gaming Experience, Elements Such as Friendships Outside the Game Context?
• Do Friends Generally Have Similar Educational Interests?
• What Individual and Country-Level Factors Might Interact With Friendship Importance to Predict Health and Well-Being?
• Chicago (A-D)
• Chicago (N-B)

IvyPanda. (2024, February 24). 127 Friendship Essay Topic Ideas & Examples. https://ivypanda.com/essays/topic/friendship-essay-examples/

"127 Friendship Essay Topic Ideas & Examples." IvyPanda , 24 Feb. 2024, ivypanda.com/essays/topic/friendship-essay-examples/.

IvyPanda . (2024) '127 Friendship Essay Topic Ideas & Examples'. 24 February.

IvyPanda . 2024. "127 Friendship Essay Topic Ideas & Examples." February 24, 2024. https://ivypanda.com/essays/topic/friendship-essay-examples/.

1. IvyPanda . "127 Friendship Essay Topic Ideas & Examples." February 24, 2024. https://ivypanda.com/essays/topic/friendship-essay-examples/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "127 Friendship Essay Topic Ideas & Examples." February 24, 2024. https://ivypanda.com/essays/topic/friendship-essay-examples/.

• Child Development Research Ideas
• Honesty Essay Ideas
• Family Titles
• Relationship Research Ideas
• Adolescence Questions
• Parenting Research Topics
• Conflict Research Topics
• Adulthood Titles
• Social Norms Essay Ideas
• Communication Research Ideas
• Respect Essay Topics
• Self Esteem Research Ideas
• Victimology Research Ideas
• Social Development Essay Topics
• Conflict Resolution Essay Topics

• Bipolar Disorder
• Therapy Center
• When To See a Therapist
• Types of Therapy
• Best Online Therapy
• Best Couples Therapy
• Best Family Therapy
• Managing Stress
• Sleep and Dreaming
• Understanding Emotions
• Self-Improvement
• Healthy Relationships
• Student Resources
• Personality Types
• Guided Meditations
• Verywell Mind Insights
• 2023 Verywell Mind 25
• Mental Health in the Classroom
• Editorial Process
• Meet Our Review Board
• Crisis Support

How to Reconnect With An Old Friend Without Making It Awkward

Remember, it's only weird if you make it weird

Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

Rachel Goldman, PhD FTOS, is a licensed psychologist, clinical assistant professor, speaker, wellness expert specializing in eating behaviors, stress management, and health behavior change.

10'000 Hours / Getty Images

Why We Should Reconnect With Old Friends

Yes, things *might* get awkward, but we can make things less awkward.

We all have fond memories of an old friend—of chatting, laughing, and spending time with them. Life happens and we may have drifted apart over time, but occasionally, something may remind us of them, and we'll briefly wonder how they are.

If you’ve lost touch with a friend , you’re not alone. According to a 2016 study, people often lose touch with others after age 25. Life can get in the way, with hectic schedules, different paths, life changes, and big moves making it difficult to keep in touch with all the people in your life.

At a Glance

If you’ve been missing your friend and thinking about reaching out, you may worry about whether it’ll be just like old times or uncomfortable and awkward.

You may wonder whether you’ll have anything to talk about, whether they miss your friendship and want to be friends again, or whether there are any hard feelings. But the benefits, like reliving happy memories and reconnecting with your past self, may be worth the effort.

You can prevent awkwardness by reaching out, showing genuine warmth and interest, and bringing back fond memories.

These are some of the benefits of reconnecting with an old friend, according to Sabrina Romanoff , PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University:

• Reliving happy memories: Spending time with an old friend can help us remember and relive happy memories, adventures, and the strong bonds we developed through challenging times.
• Getting in touch with your past: Rekindling friendships from different times in our lives can help us reconnect with different parts of ourselves. Old friends can remind us of the person we used to be and help get us in touch with parts of ourselves that might have become suppressed over the years.
• Offering a new perspective: Reconnecting with old friends can give us a new perspective on our lives now relative to the past. We can also get a perspective on the past from someone who has been through it with us. 
• Building your community: Reestablishing a friendship with an old friend can help us strengthen our roots and feel more grounded in our community. A deeper feeling of connectedness contributes to better well-being.

As close as we were with our friend, there may be awkwardness in the relationship now. For instance, we might experience the following:

• Hurt feelings: People sometimes take friendships drifting apart personally and negatively interpret the distance in the relationship. For example, they might assume the other person did not like them enough to stay in contact or that they purposely distanced themselves. Their feelings may be hurt, or they may hold a grudge against the other person for not staying in touch.
• Changes over time: Reconnecting can also be awkward because people change significantly over time, and our reference point for our old friend might be very different from the person they are today. We might find that our lives have taken radically different paths since we were younger, and it may be challenging to connect over our shared past when our present lives are so different.
• Comparisons: When reconnecting with an old friend from the past, there may be a tendency to compare present situations. Negative themes of jealousy, envy, or upward social comparison could hinder reconnection.

Dr. Romanoff suggests some tips that can help us prevent any awkwardness while reconnecting with an old friend:

• Reach out via social media: Connect with them through social media or text message if you’re too nervous to make a phone call or to initiate a meet up. Follow up on one of their most recent posts to spark conversation about what they’re up to. Slowly build up the relationship in a way that feels natural to you.
• Show some love: If you’re genuinely happy to connect with your old friend, make it a point to communicate that to them. Be warm and affectionate with them and let them know how much it means to you. Genuine warmth can help melt away some of the awkwardness that may build up in a relationship.
• Bring back a fond memory: Initiate the conversation by bringing up a cherished memory or a funny time you shared. It will transplant you both back to that moment when you were close and help smooth over the “What are you up to now?” conversations that can sometimes be rigid.
• Display your interest: As you chat with your friend, let them know you’re interested in what they’re sharing with you. Paying attention , asking follow-up questions, and empathizing with them can help you connect with them and get to know who they are today.
• Move past conflicts: Don’t dwell on conflicts or the reasons your friendship drifted apart. If it happens to come up naturally down the line, then feel free to address any possible hurt feelings. But, in the beginning, focus on what you had in common and the good times you shared together.
• Make future plans: As you end your conversation or your meeting with your friend, make future plans with them based on shared interests.

What This Means For You

Reconnecting with an old friend can bring up a lot of emotions, including excitement, nostalgia , insecurity, and awkwardness . However, if we're able to get over the awkwardness, we can rekindle our friendship based on the times we shared with our friend in the past as we get to know them in the present.

Bhattacharya K, Ghosh A, Monsivais D, Dunbar RIM, Kaski K. Sex differences in social focus across the life cycle in humans . R Soc Open Sci . 2016;3(4):160097. doi:10.1098/rsos.160097

Blieszner R, Ogletree AM, Adams RG. Friendship in later life: a research agenda . Innov Aging . 2019;3(1):igz005. doi:10.1093/geroni/igz005

By Sanjana Gupta Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

Inspiration to your inbox

• spirituality
• Law Of Attraction
• Beauty And FItness
• Better Life
• Energy Healing
• mental health
• Anger Management Tips
• relationship
• Personality
• Toxic People
• Blood Sugar
• Natural Remedies
• Pain Relief
• Weight Loss

• Friendship , Lifestyle

17 Reasons to Keep Old Friends in Your Life

• By Sarah Barkley
• Published on September 27, 2022
• Last modified May 21, 2023

Some of your best memories include old friends. The memories might come to mind unexpectedly, leaving you wondering how that old friend is doing now. Keeping friendships in your life allows you to stay in touch and create new memories.

Life isn’t as exciting or fulfilling without friends, with the friends who knew you the longest being around for all of it. They teach you about how people work outside of your immediate family. Many of them are there for you when life gets overwhelming, guiding and supporting you through every hardship.

As you age, you may lose touch with some of your friends. You’ll create new social relationships, and others will fizzle without a cause or reason. However, you should foster those friendships and stay in touch as often as possible.

You might not be able to see old friends often, but you can find ways to reconnect. Even if you’re each on entirely different life paths, you can stay in touch and influence one another.

Seventeen Reasons to Keep Old Friends in Your Life

1 – Old Freinds can give another perspective

If your old friends aren’t in your usual social group, they can offer another perspective. It’s good to have friends that offer their opinion because they can give you an unbiased thought or solution. When you’re in the middle of a problem, it can be hard for you to see a logical answer.

2 – Friendship is one more good reason to go on vacation

If the person lives far from you, keeping in touch can give you a reason to go on vacation. While this reason is superficial, it offers a nice escape to spend time together.

You’ll make memories with your friend during your trip, allowing your friendship to last forever. These trips will be experiences you’ll never regret.

3 – Friendship improves your mental health and makes your friend happy

Connecting with old friends can improve your mental health. It also boosts your friend’s mental health, making it helpful for both of you. Your old friend will appreciate it every time you reach out to them.

4 – You don’t have to impress old friends

Lifelong friends know you as no one else does. You’ll never have to impress them or feel like you must put on a show. These are friends you can go to when you’re at your worst because you know they’ll accept you as you are.

You’ll be that person for them, too, because they know they can let their guard down. It’s a powerful connection, and you can both appreciate the benefits. These relationships can be hard to come by, so don’t let go if you find one.

5 – Nostalgia

When you spend time with old friends, you’ll experience nostalgia as it brings a feeling of youthfulness. Memories will come rushing back, making you feel comfortable and safe. You can spend time remembering how things were before, basking in the joy of your memories.

6 – Friendship eases loneliness

Connection eases loneliness and symptoms of mental health conditions. People supporting you can make you feel good and find meaning.

You can continue staying in contact if your old friend lives far away. Studies show that electronic interaction is beneficial and can decrease the risk of depression and loneliness.

7 – Old friends understand your past

When you’ve known someone for a while, they understand your past. They’ll know how your family functions and what causes stress. These friends make good people vent to when you experience family problems because they’ll understand you and offer helpful advice.

Your old friends will also know what makes you tick and how you approach conflict. They know the little details others might not recognize, showing how much they understand who you are.

8 – Remind you of imagination and innocence

Childhood friends can help you remember the feeling of imagination and innocence. You knew them when life seemed simple and it was about playing together. If you still have a friend from early childhood, it’s a blessing you shouldn’t let dismiss.

9 – Provides comfort

A friend who knew you in older periods of life can give you comfort that you can’t find elsewhere. It’s an opportunity to talk about intimate details and heartache after a tragedy. You might not feel comfortable voicing these details in other social relationships but can feel safe with an old friend.

10 – Honesty

Your old friends will likely be honest with you because they’ve known you for so long. They’ll speak up when necessary and won’t tell you what you want to hear unless it’s the truth. While you must make your own decisions, you can trust their opinion on essential topics.

11 – Old friends influenced your social network

Your high school friends helped shape your social behavior and ability to connect. They taught you that it’s essential to have support from someone other than your family. Your friendship with these people impacts how you interact as an adult, and they can continue to help you grow.

12 – Seeing how your paths connect as adults

The people you were close to in the past might lead a completely different life now. However, you might have some similarities you hadn’t considered before. Spending time with them helps you see how you’re alike later in life .

You grew together for a while, and while you branch out, you still hold a connection nothing can take away. Everyone goes on to live separate lives, and it’s always fun to catch up and reconnect with the people that knew you so well.

13 – Old friends encourage growth

Staying in touch with someone you knew from the past can encourage you to keep growing. You’ll remember how much you’ve grown since then, and it’ll push you to keep going. Or you might realize that you haven’t grown as much as you’d hoped, and you’ll get motivated.

14 – Helps you remember your journey

Your old friends can help you remember where you came from and all the obstacles you overcame. They can also help you remember all your fun and memories. You’ll see how you have evolved while you embrace the past and remember your journey.

15 – Old friends know how to make you happy

Your oldest friends know what it takes to cheer you up and make you happy. They can sense if something’s wrong and start working on brightening your spirits before you even say anything. Old friends remember the things that cheer you up and won’t hesitate to make it happen.

16 – You can see how much you’ve changed

Your relationship helps you see how much you’ve changed if you have friends you only see occasionally. These friends know you at all points in your life, reminding you of your progress. They can also help you experience gratitude for where you are now.

Seeing how much you changed can help you remember where you began. It can also push you to keep growing because you see how far you’ve already come.

17 – Intellectual conversation

Experts indicate that college friends offer academic and social support involving intellectual conversation. You likely shared enlightening moments with these friends, including voicing concerns about the future and questioning everything.

College friends also saw you in intimate moments when you let loose and had fun. They may have helped you through rough nights and been there for you during your first experience away from home. These friends will support you and challenge your thoughts or ideas as you grow.

How to Reach Out to an Old Friend When You Haven’t Spoken for a While

Many people lose touch with old friends and feel awkward about reconnecting. However, there’s nothing to worry about because they’ll likely be happy to hear from you. Either way, it’s worth the attempt.

You can call the old friend, send a text message, or reach out another way. Tell them you’ve been thinking of them and ask how they’re doing. Depending on the conversation, ask if they’d like to get coffee and catch up.

When You Shouldn’t Reconnect with Old Friends

While keeping old friends in your life can be beneficial and enjoyable, there are some instances when you should avoid them. Only reach out if you can recall positive interactions with the person. Reaching out to harmful or toxic people can be detrimental to your well-being.

Consider a few things before you reconnect with an old friend, including:

• if it could be harmful to either of you
• what you want from the reconnection
• if you’re thinking of your best interests
• whether you’re willing to share details of your life
• if you feel comfortable with them

Avoid reaching out to someone if your relationship with them is unhealthy or abusive. Taking the time to understand why you want to reach out can help determine if you’re doing it for the right reasons.

Final Thoughts on Reasons to Keep Old Friends in Your Life

Old friends are treasures that you should keep in your life. They know you in ways no one else does and can bring positivity to your life.

If you’ve lost touch with old friends, reach out to them to reconnect. You’ll be glad you did, but make sure you’re not rekindling unhealthy friendships.

These reasons to keep old friends in your life can motivate you to reconnect. Don’t be afraid to invite them somewhere to catch up. Remember that they might be as happy as you are.

Comments & Discussions

Connect With Me

About the Author

Sarah Barkley

Sarah Barkley is a lifestyle blogger and freelance writer with a Bachelor’s Degree in Literature from Baker College.

She is experienced in all things related to parenting, marriage, and life as a millennial parent, but loves to learn new things. She enjoys the research that goes into a strong article, and no topic is off-limits to Sarah.

When she isn’t writing, she is immersed in a book or watching Gilmore Girls. Sarah loves reading classic novels but also enjoys a good thriller.

Related Articles

Why Taurus Is the Most Difficult Sign to Understand

40 Signs You’ve Found Your True Love

15 Red Flags That Reveal Monkey Branching

12 Traits of a Woman You Will Never Forget

10 Reasons Attractive People Stay Single

20 Signs of Microcheating to Never Ignore

Why You Keep Attracting Toxic People (and How to Fix It)

Should You Gargle With Warm Salt Water Every Morning? Here’s Why Doctors Say Yes

Science Explains the Link Between Stress and Wrinkles

The community, our free community of positively powerful superfans.

Join our free community of superfans today and get access to courses, affirmations, accountability, and so much more… plus meet other like-minded positive people committed to living the power of positivity. Over the years, we’ve brought 50+ million people together through the Power of Positivity … this free community is an evolution of our journey so far, empowering you to take control, live your best life, and have fun while doing so.

Rise and Shine On! Master Your Day with the Ultimate Positive Morning Guide + Checklist

Stay connected with, every day is a day to shine. shine on.

This site is not intended to provide, and does not constitute, medical, health, legal, financial or other professional advice. This site is for entertainment purposes only. Our editors handpick the products that we feature. We may earn commission from the links on this page.

All rights Reserved. All trademarks and service marks are the property of their respective owners.

Please see our Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About | Cookie Policy | Editorial Policy | Contact | Accessibility |  [cookie_settings] | Disclaimer

• Copyright Power of Positivity 2024
• Terms of Service
• Privacy Policy
• Cookie Policy
• Accessibility

Quote Remedy — Positive Energy+

Relationships

“We’ve both grown, just not together.”

It isn’t always necessary to send a text to end a friendship. If you and a pal have drifted apart, you’ll probably reach out less and less often until it gets to the point where you no longer speak. This is the natural progression of many friendships as people get older, grow, and change — and that’s OK.

There are, however, quite a few circumstances where you may want to break up with a friend so that you can truly move on. In situations where a friendship is no longer in your best interests, it can be tempting to ghost or send an insincere text like, “Hey, I’m super busy but I would love to hang out when things calm down,” says mental health counselor Bernie Crowl, MHC-LP . But if you truly can’t see yourself getting together again, figuring out what texts to send to end a friendship is tough, but can ultimately spare their feelings.

You might also want to end a friendship over text if the person is toxic or draining to be around. Do they pick fights? Bring you down? Or have they betrayed your trust? “Texting can be used as an effective tool for creating a safe boundary as it reduces the ways in which the person can try to manipulate you,” says trauma-informed therapist Dr. Amelia Kelley . “By not being in person, or even on the phone, you can remain more grounded and choose how much of the interaction to participate in.” Once you end the friendship, you can block them and move on.

While it’s never easy to call off a friendship , sometimes it’s for the best. If you’re not sure where to start, these therapist-approved texts can help you break up with your old friend.

“I appreciate the invite, but my interests have shifted in the past few years and I just feel like we’ve drifted apart.”

Let’s say that one of your old party friends is really excited to get back into the bars now that they’re vaccinated, but you’ve come to appreciate quiet nights at home or have decided that you no longer want to drink . If they keep pressuring you to go out, Crowl recommends sending a text like this one to let them know where you stand.

“It’s hard to say this but I have to be honest and put myself first and not continue this friendship.”

If this friend doesn’t build you up like they used to — or if they actively tear you down — don’t hesitate to send this type of text. You don’t have to go into detail, especially if the other person doesn’t mean any harm. According to licensed behavioral therapist Sherese Ezelle, LMHC , you can still gently let them know that you won’t be available to hang out going forward.

“Due to recent conflict, I’m choosing to end this friendship.”

A text breakup like this one makes the most sense following a betrayal or big argument. If you’re feeling hurt or drained, send it and be done. “They may ask for further clarification but it is truly your choice whether or not you want to share anything further,” Kelley says. “No is a complete sentence and a boundary does not have to be justified.”

“I feel like this friendship isn’t healthy for me.”

If you don’t want to go into the details, Kelley says this text may be a good choice. “Again, you’re being clear and concise,” she says. “There is no need to justify why the relationship is hurting you unless you want to share those feelings.” If the friend gives you a hard time or doesn’t respect your boundaries, hit “block”.

“I want to be completely transparent. I’ve been feeling angry since we saw each other. This tends to happen when we spend time together, so I can no longer engage in this friendship.”

Here’s a similar text that’ll help explain where you’re at, says mental health therapist Emily Griffin, MA, LCPC . If the friend keeps pressing you to hang out, you may want to send it as a firm way to call things off once and for all.

The last thing you want is to lead someone on, Griffin says, especially if the person doesn’t realize that they’re tough to hang out with. While you don’t have to list all of their flaws, you can certainly share how you feel and why you need to back away.

“I need space from our friendship. Distance will help both of us understand who and what is important to us."

According to Dr. Easton Gaines , a licensed psychologist, it’s as important to define a friendship as it is to define a relationship . “Knowing how you feel and why you feel that way is paramount,” she tells Bustle. “What is your friend doing or not doing that is bothering you? How is this making you feel? Are you saddened, offended, frustrated?”

Send this text and then take some time to assess. If you do decide to move on, allow yourself to experience any tough emotions that arise. “It is likely that you have been reeling over this decision for quite some time,” Gaines says. “Once processed, which may be helpful with professional guidance, you will have a better appreciation for your limits and essentials.”

“I haven’t heard from you in forever and it really hurt my feelings.”

Sometimes folks have a good reason for going silent. If your friend has been busy dealing with their life, you may find that you’re able to give them space until they’re ready to reach out again. (Remember, think about how you’d want to be treated.)

That said, it’s also completely valid to feel hurt by a friend’s ongoing silence, especially if they left you hanging without explanation. In that case, Ezelle recommends sending a text like this one: “Not talking to you during this time really hurt my feelings, and I feel like in our friendship we should both be important.” Then let them know you’ll be focusing on your own needs going forward.

“We’ve both grown so much, but not together.”

Here’s another gentle way to let a friend know you want to go your separate ways . Ezelle says this is a simple, to-the-point way of calling off a friendship that’ll allow you to move on without leaving your friend to wonder what happened.

“Life has changed so much for me. I’ve done some self-reflecting and I think stepping back out into the world will look different for me.”

According to psychotherapist Lillyana Morales, LMHC , this is a great text to send when you want to shift who you interact with. If you’ve spent some time working on yourself — perhaps by going to therapy — you may realize that some old friendships no longer align with the new you.

You may want to follow up with a longer explanation, Morales says, like this one: “I wanted to reach out to let you know that I thought of you, and if I haven't said it in a while — I've appreciated all of history and memories we've created. I feel [emotion word]. I hope as you navigate these next chapters, you'll find a sense of [happiness, joy, contentment, satisfaction, etc.].”

“I care about you but being in this relationship is not something I’m able to focus on right now.”

If your circumstances have changed, Ezelle suggests sending this text as a way to let an old pal know you’ll be focusing your attention elsewhere.

You don’t have to rub it in or explicitly say you’ve moved on, but you should let them know you won’t be available going forward, especially if you know for sure that you won’t ever see them again.

“I feel like you don’t value me as a friend.”

According to licensed clinical professional counselor Shawnessa Devonish, LCPC, NCC , this text is the ideal way to cut things off with a friend who’s repeatedly let you down. While many friendships are reparable, especially if you have a heart-to-heart conversation, it’s often best to let go of connections that make you feel bad.

“In general, you may want to end a friendship if you experience intense feelings of betrayal or rejection as a result of their actions,” Devonish tells Bustle. “Due to this, it may be best to end the friendship, even if it is through text, to prevent yourself from developing any severe abandonment wounds .”

“I need to spare myself further discomfort.”

If this person is truly toxic , make sure you word the text in a way that can’t be misinterpreted. Relationship expert Sameera Sullivan suggests sending a message like this one: “I am mentally drained and have decided to spare myself from more discomfort by distancing myself from you. The decision has already been made, so please know that nothing can convince me otherwise at this point. Please don’t reach out again."

"I've tried to have this conversation in person many times. But it's clear you aren't hearing me. I don't want to be friends anymore."

Relationship therapist Jordan Pickell, MCP RCC recommends this text if the friend isn’t listening or if they keep crossing boundaries. “Maybe you've tried to talk about your differences face-to-face and they aren't hearing you, so you've decided to switch modes of communication,” she tells Bustle. In this scenario, a text may help them understand.

“I appreciate your patience, but I’m not ready to be around others just yet. I just need a little space. I hope you understand.”

If you’re going through a rough patch in your life, send a text like this one to let a friend know where you stand. “Be upfront and honest with your feelings,” says counselor Brianna Wolf , noting it’ll help them fully understand why you’ve been MIA so they can give you the space and support you need.

While it might feel as if you want to call off the friendship, you may feel a lot better once you take some time to yourself. That’s why there’s no need to be black and white about every connection. Instead, let the friend know you need time to figure things out, then see how you feel in the future.

“I’m down for coffee.”

You may also decide that you’d like to remain friends, just not in the same capacity. “Sometimes a friendship breakup is about changing the level of intimacy,” Pickell says. “Maybe you're OK to attend the same gatherings, but you don't want a one-on-one relationship anymore. Maybe you are open to a relationship in the future. It's helpful to be clear about that.”

Bernie Crowl, MHC-LP , mental health counselor

Dr. Amelia Kelley , trauma-informed therapist

Sherese Ezelle, LMHC , licensed behavioral therapist

Emily Griffin, MA, LCPC , mental health therapist

Dr. Easton Gaines , licensed psychologist

Lillyana Morales, LMHC , psychotherapist

Shawnessa Devonish, LCPC, NCC , licensed clinical professional counselor

Sameera Sullivan , relationship therapist

Jordan Pickell, MCP RCC , relationship therapist

Brianna Wolf , counselor

This article was originally published on May 2, 2021

Essay on Meeting A Friend After A Long Time

Students are often asked to write an essay on Meeting A Friend After A Long Time in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Meeting A Friend After A Long Time

The joy of reunion.

Meeting a friend after a long time can bring great joy. It feels like finding a lost treasure. You see them, and a wave of memories hits you. You remember the good times, the laughter, and the shared secrets. This feeling is hard to describe, but it’s one of pure happiness.

The Surprise of Change

When you meet a friend after a long time, you might notice changes. They may look different or act differently. These changes can be surprising, but they show how people grow and evolve. It’s like seeing a favorite book character come to life in a new chapter.

Reviving Old Bonds

Meeting an old friend can help revive old bonds. You might feel like no time has passed at all. You pick up where you left off, sharing stories and making new memories. This shows the strength of friendship, no matter how much time has passed.

Value of Friendship

Meeting a friend after a long time reminds us of the value of friendship. It shows us how important it is to keep in touch with those we care about. Even if we’re busy, making time for friends can bring us great joy and happiness.

250 Words Essay on Meeting A Friend After A Long Time

Feeling of excitement.

Meeting a friend after a long time can stir up many feelings. The first feeling is excitement. You feel a rush of joy as you look forward to seeing them again. You may remember the fun times you’ve had together and can’t wait to relive those moments. This excitement can make your heart beat faster and put a big smile on your face.

Memories Come Alive

When you meet a friend after a long time, old memories come alive. You might talk about the games you used to play, the secrets you shared, or the adventures you had. These memories can make you both laugh and feel a sense of warmth. It’s like going back in time and reliving your childhood or past days.

Changes Over Time

Seeing a friend after a long time also shows you how much you both have changed. Your friend might look different or have new hobbies. You might also have changed in many ways. These changes can be surprising but they also make the meeting more interesting. You get to know each other all over again.

Renewing the Bond

Lastly, meeting a friend after a long time helps to renew your bond. It reminds you of why you became friends in the first place. You might realize that despite the time apart, your friendship is still strong. This can make you feel happy and grateful.

In conclusion, meeting a friend after a long time is a special event. It brings excitement, revives memories, reveals changes, and strengthens your bond. So, if you get a chance to meet an old friend, don’t miss it. It’s a joy that’s hard to describe in words.

500 Words Essay on Meeting A Friend After A Long Time

Introduction.

Meeting a friend after a long time can be an exciting and emotional experience. The rush of old memories, the joy of reconnecting, and the thrill of catching up on each other’s lives can be a great source of happiness. This essay will explore the feelings and experiences that come with reuniting with an old friend.

The Anticipation

The first feeling that comes when you are about to meet a friend after a long time is anticipation. You might feel your heart race a little faster and your palms might get a bit sweaty. You start thinking about all the fun times you had together and the stories you will share. You wonder about the changes that might have taken place in their life and how they might have grown as a person.

The Meeting

The moment you finally see your friend, a wave of familiarity washes over you. You might feel a burst of happiness or even get a bit teary-eyed. It feels like time has stood still and all the distance and time apart melts away. You notice how they have changed and yet, in many ways, they are still the same person you knew and loved.

Catching Up

Catching up with a friend after a long time is like reading a book you left unfinished. You are eager to know what happened next. You share about your life, your achievements, your struggles, and your dreams. You listen to their stories and experiences. You laugh at old jokes and make new ones. You feel a sense of comfort and understanding that only a true friend can give.

Rekindling the Bond

Meeting an old friend often rekindles the bond you shared. You might feel like you’ve never been apart. The shared history and common experiences bring back the closeness you once had. You realize that despite the changes, the core of your friendship remains the same. You promise to keep in touch and not let so much time pass before you meet again.

In conclusion, meeting a friend after a long time is a beautiful experience filled with joy, nostalgia, and warmth. It reminds us of the value of friendship and the importance of keeping our connections alive. No matter how much time has passed, true friendship stands the test of time and distance. It’s like a favorite book that you can pick up from where you left off, no matter how long it’s been.

Word Count: 400

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

• Essay on Meeting A Famous Person
• Essay on Age Factor In Relationships
• Essay on Age Discrimination

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

Happy studying!

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Friday essay: on the ending of a friendship

Emeritus Professor of Creative writing, The University of Melbourne

Disclosure statement

Kevin John Brophy does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

University of Melbourne provides funding as a founding partner of The Conversation AU.

View all partners

Friendship is an incomparable, immeasurable boon to me, and a source of life — not metaphorically but literally.

• Simone Weil

About eight years ago, I went to dinner with a dear friend I had known for more than 40 years. It would be the last time we would see each other and by the end of that evening I was deeply shaken. But more lasting and more unsettling than this has been the feeling of loss without his friendship. It was a sudden ending but it was also an ending that lasted for me well beyond that evening. I have worried since then at what kind of friend I am to my friends, and why a friendship can suddenly self-destruct while others can so unexpectedly bloom.

My friend and I were used to going to dinner together, though it had become an increasingly tricky matter for us. We had been seeing each other more infrequently, and our conversations had been tending towards repetition. I still enjoyed his passion for talk, his willingness to be puzzled by life’s events, our comically growing list of minor ailments as we entered our sixties, and the old stories he fell back on — usually stories of his minor triumphs, such as the time his car burst into fire, was declared a write-off by insurance, and ended in an auction house where he bought it back with part of the insurance payout and only minor repairs to be made. There were stories of his time as a barman in one of Melbourne’s roughest pubs. I suppose in a lot of long-lasting friendships it is these repeated stories of the past that can fill the present so richly.

Nevertheless, both his opinions and mine seemed to have become too predictable. Even his desire to come up with the most unpredictable viewpoint on any problem was a routine I expected from him. Each of us knew the weaknesses in the other’s thinking, and we had learned not to go too far with some topics, which were of course the most interesting and important ones.

He knew how politically correct I could be, and shrewdly enough he had no time for my self-righteousness, the predictability of my views on gender, race and climate. I understood this. He knew too that his fiercely independent thinking was often just the usual rant against greenies or lefties. Something had begun to fail in our friendship, but I could not properly perceive this or speak of it.

We were a contrasting pair. He was a big man with an aggressive edge to his gregarious nature, while I was lean, short and physically slight next to him, a much more reserved person altogether. I liked his size because big men have been protective figures in my life. At times when I felt threatened I would ask him to come with me to a meeting or a transaction, and just stand next to me in his big way. During one long period of trouble with our neighbours he would visit when the tension was high to show his formidable presence and his solidarity with us.

I was always reading and knew how to talk books, while he was too restless to read much. He knew how to sing, bursting into song occasionally when we were together. He had been unable to work professionally since a breakdown that was both physical and mental. By contrast, I was working steadily, never quite as free with my time as he was.

Nearly two years before our last dinner together his wife had suddenly left him. As it turned out, she had been planning her departure for some time, but when she went he was taken by surprise. I saw a more confused and fragile side of him during those months when we would meet and talk through how he was dealing with their counselling sessions, and then how the negotiations were proceeding over belongings and finally the family house. He was learning to live alone for the first time since he had been a young man, and was exploring what it might be like to seek out new relationships.

Read more: Research Check: is it true only half your friends actually like you?

A safe haven

We had met when I was a first-year university student boarding at my grandmother’s home in an inner Melbourne suburb. I was studying for a Bachelor of Arts, staying up through the nights, discovering literature, music, history, cask wine, dope, girls and ideas.

He lived in a flat a few doors away in a street behind my grandmother’s place, and I remember it was the local parish youth group, or the remnants of one, that used to meet in his flat. In my friend’s flat we would lie around the floor, half a dozen of us, drinking, flirting, arguing about religion or politics until the night was strung out in our heads, tight and thin and vibrating with possibilities. I loved that sudden intimate and intellectually rich contact with people my own age.

My friend and I started up a coffee lounge in an old disused shopfront as a meeting place for youth who would otherwise be on the street. I was the one who became immersed in the chaotic life of the place as students, musicians, misfits, hopeful poets and petty criminals floated through the shop, while my friend kept his eye on the broader picture that involved real estate agents, local councils, supplies of coffee, income and expenditure.

Perhaps the experience helped delay my own adulthood, allowing me time to try out a bohemian, communal alternative lifestyle that was so important to some of us in the early 1970s. My friend, though, was soon married. It was as if he had been living a parallel life outside our friendship, outside the youth group, coffee shop, jug band, drugs and misadventures of our project.

This did not break us up, and in fact after his marriage he became another kind of friend. I was at times struggling to find some steady sense of myself. Sometimes in those years I would not be able to talk or even be near others, and I remember once when I felt like this I went to my newly married friend’s home, and asked if I could lie on the floor in the corner of their lounge room for a few days until I felt better.

They indulged me. I felt it was this haven that saved me then, giving me the time to recoup and giving me a sense that there was somewhere I could go where the world was safe and neutral.

In time, and more bumpily and uncertainly than my friend, I was with a partner raising a family. He was often involved in our children’s birthdays, other celebrations, our house-moving, and just dropping in on family meals. It worked for us. I remember him lifting our cast iron wood-burning stove into its place in our first renovated Brunswick cottage. He lived in a more sprawling home near bushland on the edge of Melbourne, so one of my pleasures became the long cycling trips out to see him.

My partner and I were embraced by a local community thanks to the childcare centre, kinders, schools and sport. Lasting friendships (for us and for our children) grew in the tentative, open-ended, slightly blindly feeling way of friendships. Through this decade and a half though, the particular friendship with my songful friend held, perhaps to the surprise of both of us.

‘Tolerating much, for the sake of best intentions’

In his thoroughly likeable 1993 book on friendship , the political scientist Graham Little wrote under the bright light of writings by Aristotle and Freud, that the purest kind of friendship “welcomes the different ways people are alive to life and tolerates much in a friend for the sake of best intentions”.

Here perhaps is the closest I have seen to a definition of friendship at its best: a stance imbued with sympathy, interest and excitement directed at another despite all that otherwise shows we are flawed and dangerous creatures.

On that evening, the evening of the last time we went out to dinner together, I did push my friend towards one of the topics we usually avoided. I had been wanting him to acknowledge and even apologise for his behaviour towards some young women he had spoken to, I thought, lewdly and insultingly nearly a year before in my home at a party. The women and those of us who had witnessed his behaviour felt continuing tension over his refusal to discuss the fact that he had wanted to speak so insultingly to them and then had done it in our home in front of us. For me, there was some element of betrayal, not only in the way he had behaved but in his continued refusal to discuss what had happened.

The women were drunk, he said, just as he had said the last time I tried to talk to him about this. They were wearing almost nothing, he said, and what he’d said to them was no more than they were expecting. My friend and I were sitting in a popular Thai restaurant on Sydney Road: metal chairs, plastic tables, concrete floor. It was noisy, packed with students, young couples and groups out for a cheap and tasty meal. A waitress had put menus, water and beer on our table while she waited for us to decide on our meals. Wanting to push finally past this impasse, I pointed out to him that the women had not insulted him, he had insulted them.

If that’s the way you want it, he replied, and placed his hands on each side of the table, hurling it into the air and walking out of the restaurant as table, bottles, glasses, water and beer came clattering and smashing down around me. The whole restaurant fell silent. I could not move for some time. The waitress began mopping up the floor around me. Someone called out, “Hey, are you all right?”

This was the last time I saw or heard from him. For many months, I thought of him every day, then slowly I thought of him less often, until now I can think of him more or less at will, and not find myself ashamed of the way I went for him in a conversation where I should have been perhaps more alive to whatever was troubling him.

Improvised, tentative

For some years after this, I felt I had to learn how to be myself without him. I have read articles and essays since then about how pitiful men can be at friendship. We are apparently too competitive, we base our friendships on common activities, which means we can avoid talking openly about our feelings and thoughts. I don’t know about this “male deficit model”, as some sociologists call it, but I do know that the loss of this friendship took with it a big part of my shared personal history at that time. It dented my confidence in ever having properly known this man or understood our friendship — or in knowing how secure any friendship might be.

I was drawn to read and re-read Michel de Montaigne’s gentle and strangely extreme essay on friendship where he was so certain that he knew with perfection what his friend would think and say and value. He wrote of his friend, Etienne de Boëtie, “Not only did I know his mind as well as I knew my own but I would have entrusted myself to him with greater assurance than to myself.”

Against this perfection of understanding between friends, there is George Eliot’s odd excursion into science fiction in her 1859 novel, The Lifted Veil . Her narrator, Latimer, finds he can perceive perfectly clearly the thoughts of all the people around him. He becomes disgusted and deeply disturbed by the petty self-interest he apparently discovers within everyone.

After 40 years of shared history, there was not the disgust Eliot writes of, nor Montaigne’s perfect union of mind and trust between me and my burly friend, but there was, I had thought, a foundation of knowledge whereby we took each other’s differences into ourselves, as well as our common histories of the cafe we had run, and as it happened our common serving of time in semi-monastic seminaries before we’d met — differences and similarities that had given us, I thought, ways of being in sympathy with each other while allowing for each other.

Read more: Guide to the classics: Michel de Montaigne's Essays

Montaigne’s dearest friend, Etienne, had died, and his essay was as much about the meaning of this loss as about friendship. His big idea was loyalty, and I think I understand that, though not in the absolute way Montaigne wrote of it.

Loyalty is only real if it is constantly renewed. I worry that I have not worked enough at some friendships that have come into my life, but have let them happen more passively than the women I know who spend such time, and such complicated time, exploring and testing friendships. The sudden disappearance of my friend left me with an awareness of how patched-together, how improvised, clumsy and tentative even the most secure-seeming friendship can be.

When the philosopher and brilliant essayist, Simone Weil wrote shortly before she died in 1943,

I may lose, at any moment, through the play of circumstances over which I have no control, anything whatsoever that I possess, including things that are so intimately mine that I consider them as myself. There is nothing that I might not lose. It could happen at any moment ….

she seemed to be touching on the difficult truth that we run on luck and hope and chance much of the time. Why haven’t I worked harder at friendships, when I know that they provide the real meaning in my life?

Some years ago, when I was told by a medical specialist that I had a 30% chance of having cancer, as I waited for the results of a biopsy, I remember that in response to these dismal odds I had no desire to go back to work, no desire to even read — all I wanted to do was spend time with friends.

Inner worlds laid waste

To know what it is we care about, this is a gift. It should be straightforward to know this and keep it present in our lives, but it can prove to be difficult. Being the reader that I am, I have always turned to literature and fiction for answers or insights into those questions that seem to need answering.

I realised some time after the ending of my friendship that I had been reading novels dealing with friendship, and was not even sure how consciously I had chosen them.

For instance, I read The Book of Strange New Things by Michel Faber, a novel about a Christian preacher, Peter Leigh, sent to convert aliens in a galaxy ludicrously far from earth on a planet with an equally unlikely atmosphere benign to its human colonisers.

It is a novel about whether Leigh can be any kind of adequate friend to his wife left behind on Earth, and whether his new feelings for these aliens amounts to friendship. Though my suspension of disbelief was precarious, I found myself caring about these characters and their relationships, even the grotesquely shapeless aliens. Partly I cared about them because the book read like an essay testing ideas of friendship and loyalty that were important and urgent to the writer.

I also read at that time Haruki Murakami’s novel, Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage , a book that came with a little game of coloured cards and stickers, and I found that I cared about Tsukuru Tazaki too, for I felt all along that Murakami’s character was a thin and endearing disguise for himself (what a beautiful word that is, “en-dearing”).

The novel centred on lost friendships. I heard a tone in its voice that was the oddly flat, persistent, vulnerable and sincere searching of a man for connection with others. If Murakami’s novel has a proposition it wishes to test it would be that we only know ourselves in what images of ourselves we receive back from our friends. Without our friends we become invisible, lost.

In both those novels, the friendships are crashing to pieces in slow motion in front of the reader’s helpless eyes. I wanted to shake those characters, tell them to stop and think about what they were doing, but at the same time I saw in them mirrors of myself and my experiences.

I read John Berger too , on the way a human looks across an abyss of incomprehension when looking at another animal. Though language seems to connect us, it might be that language also distracts us from the actual abyss of ignorance and fear between all of us as we look, across, at each other. In his book on the savage mind , Lévi-Strauss quotes a study of Canadian Carrier Indians living on the Bulkley River who were able to cross that abyss between species, believing they knew what animals did and what their needs were because their men had been married to the salmon, the beaver and the bear.

I have read essays by Robin Dunbar on the evolutionary limits to our circles of intimacy , where he suggests that for most of us there needs to be three or maybe five truly close friends. These are the ones we lean towards with tenderness and open ourselves to with endless curiosity — those in whom we seek only the good.

My partner can name quickly four friends who qualify for her as part of this necessary circle. I find I can name two (and she is one of them), then a constellation of individual friends whose closeness to me I can’t easily measure. It is this constellation that sustains me.

Recently I was away from home for three months. After two weeks away I wrote a list in the back of my diary of the friends I was missing. A little more than a dozen of these were the friends, men and women, with whom I need contact, and with whom conversations are always open-ended, surprising, intellectually stimulating, sometimes intimate, and often fun. With each of them I explore a slightly different but always essential version of myself. Graham Little wrote that “ideal soulmates are friends who are fully aware that each has himself as his main life project”.

To live this takes some effort of imagination, and with my friend at dinner that night I might in myself have been refusing to make this effort.

There are also, it occurs to me, the friends who came as couples, with whom my partner and I share time as couples. This is itself another manifestation of friendship, one that crosses over into community, tribe and family — and no less precious than the individual intimacy of a personal friendship. For reasons I can’t properly fathom, the importance of this kind of time with coupled friends has deepened as I have grown through the decades of my fifties and sixties.

Perhaps it is that the dance of conversation and ideas is so much more complex and pleasurable when there are four or more contributing. It could be too that I am absolved from the responsibility of really working at these friendships in the way one must when there are two of us. Or it might be the pang and stimulus of the knowledge that opportunities to be together are brutally diminishing as we grow older.

But to lose an individual friend from one’s closest circle is to have large tracts of one’s inner world laid waste for a time. My feelings over the end of this particular friendship were a kind of grief mixed with bewilderment.

It was not that the friendship was necessary to my existence, but that perhaps through habit and sympathy it had become a fixed part of my identity. Robin Dunbar would say that by stepping away from this friendship I had made room for someone else to slip in to my circle of most intimate friends, but isn’t it the point of such close friends that they are in some important sense irreplaceable? This is the source of much of our distress when such friendships end.

Still learning

When I told people about what had happened in the restaurant that night, they would say, reasonably, “Why don’t you patch things up and resume your friendship?”

As I imagined how a conversation might go if I did meet my friend again, I came to understand that I had been a provocation to him. I had ceased to be the friend he needed, wanted or imagined.

What he did was dramatic. He might have called it merely dramatic. I felt it as threatening. Though I cannot help but think I provoked him. And if we had “patched” a friendship back together, on whose terms would this have been conducted? Would it always be that I would have to agree not to press him on questions that might lead him to throw over some table between us again?

Or worse, would I have to witness his apology, forgive him myself, and put him on his best behaviour for the rest of our friendship?

Neither of those outcomes would have patched much together. I had been hurting too over what I saw as his lack of willingness or interest to understand the situation from my point of view. And so it went inside me as the table and the water and the beer and the glasses came crashing down around me. I had been, in a way, married to my friend, even if he was a salmon or a bear — a creature across an abyss from me. Perhaps this was the only way out of that marriage. Perhaps he had been preparing for (moving towards?) this moment more consciously than I had been.

The ending of this friendship, it is clear, left me looking for its story. It was as if all along there must have been a narrative with a trajectory carrying us in this direction. A story is of course a way of testing whether an experience can take on a shape. Murakami’s and Faber’s novels are not themselves full-blown stories, for there is almost no plot, no shape, to their stumbling episodic structures, and oddly enough in both books the self-doubting lovers might or might not find that close communion with another somewhere well beyond the last page of each novel.

These novels cohere round a series of questions rather than events: what do we know and what can we know about others, what is the nature of the distance that separates one person from another, how provisional is it to know someone anyway, and what does it mean to care about someone, even someone who is a character in a novel?

When an Indian says he is married to a salmon, this can be no stranger than me saying I spent a couple of weeks on a humid planet in another galaxy with an astronaut who is a Christian preacher and an inept husband, or I spent last night in Tokyo with an engineer who builds railway stations and believes himself to be colourless, though at least two women have told him he is full of colour. But do I go to this story-making as a way of keeping my experiences less personal and more cerebral?

When I got home that night eight years ago, I sat at my kitchen table, shaking, hugging myself, talking to my grown-up children about what happened. It was the talking that helped — a narrative taking shape.

Dunbar, like me, like all of us, worries at the question of what makes life so richly present to us, and why friendships seem to be at the core of this meaningfulness. He has been surveying Americans with questions about friendship for several decades, and he concludes that for many of us the small circle of intimate friendships we experience is reducing.

We are apparently lucky now, on average, if there are two people in our lives we can approach with tenderness and curiosity, with that assumption that time will not matter as we talk in a low, murmuring, hive-warm way to a close friend.

My friend cannot be replaced, and it might be that we did not in the end imagine each other fully enough or accurately enough as we approached that last encounter. I don’t know precisely what our failure was. The shock of what happened and the shock of the friendship ending has over the time since that dinner become a part of my history in which I remember feeling grief but am no longer caught in confused anger or guilt over it. The story of it might not have ended but it has subsided.

Perhaps in all friendships we are not only, at our best, agreeing to encountering the unique and endlessly absorbing presence of another person, but unknown to us we’re learning something about how to approach the next friendship in our lives. There is something comically inept and endearing about the possibility that one might still be learning how to be a friend right up to the end of life.

• Friday essay
• Michel de Montaigne
• Peer relationships

Senior Lecturer - Earth System Science

Operations Coordinator

Sydney Horizon Educators (Identified)

Deputy Social Media Producer

Associate Professor, Occupational Therapy

Whats your Grief

Hey Old Friend: Reconnecting With People Who Matter

Support Systems / Support Systems : Litsa Williams

For further articles on these topics:

For a while now, I've been thinking about the way people come in and out of our lives. This isn’t an issue unique to grief, but it seems to come up a lot here in grief-land. When we experience a devastating loss, many dominos can fall. Sometimes friends disappear. Sometimes we isolate ourselves or alienate other people, even old friends who we love. Sometimes families have falling outs.  Sometimes our priorities change and that means letting some people go. The reasons are endless.

Sometimes people disappear from our lives for reasons totally unrelated to grief. There are times when life gets busy, people move away, change jobs, have kids, and suddenly someone who meant a lot is no longer around. Whatever the reasons, sometimes we look around and realize that we just don’t have quite as much love and community as we used to or as we need. The pain of those people who have disappeared can feel even more intense when we're grieving and really could use their love and support.

This morning, I had breakfast with an old friend—a friend who goes back to college years. This is a person who just makes me feel good about life and humanity. He is a person who makes the world a better place, who makes me want to make the world a better place, and who reminds me what love, compassion, and community are all about. Before this morning, I hadn’t seen him in a few years. I would like to say that we got together because I was thoughtful and self-aware about how much I missed having him in my life, so I reached out. But that isn’t what happened. I saw him because I ran into his mom and step-dad. I know, lame. That chance encounter led to a text and a call and ultimately a breakfast where we both talked about how excited we were to see one another, to collaborate to help people grieving here in Baltimore, and to spend some time together again.

I drove away from breakfast thinking about this article. I wanted to write it because I know this is a common issue. I wanted to write it soon because the holidays are coming and our awareness of those people missing from our lives—both dead and alive—can become deeply intensified. But I just kept staring at it, thinking “I know this is important, why can’t I get it written?”  I can’t say for sure what the block was, but after breakfast today, I rushed home to start writing. I think the big difference was that I remembered that feeling again. It wasn’t the abstract idea that it's hard when we lose touch with people who mean something to us. It also wasn't the vague notion that it's good to reconnect again or rekindle relationships with people who bring love, hope, and support to our lives. It was the actual feeling of being in the presence of another person who I connect with, care about, and am excited to be around (even after I let way too many years slip by).

We don’t always have control over people disappearing from our lives and sometimes there is no way to get them back. People we love die... You probably know that well. It’s probably why you’re here. In that case, there is truly no control. You can continue your bond with them , love and remember them, but you can’t make them reappear. That’s the bad news.

The good news though is: Sometimes we do have control, even when it doesn’t feel like it. Many times, we’ve just told ourselves stories that make us think we don’t. We say things like:

“Oh, it's been way too long. It would be weird to reach out." 

“If my grief scared them away, they won't want to be friends or they aren’t worth being friends with.”

“I did mean things or pushed them away. They’ll never forgive me.” (We’ve written about this here .)

“They’re probably too busy, or don’t have time for me, or we’ve changed too much."

The stories go on and on.

Today’s post doesn’t have any magic solutions to people disappearing from our lives... That's a post for another day. Instead, I'll offer a few pieces of advice from a mental health professional who had a couple of really important people disappear this year, and someone who has rekindled old relationships with some really important people. These tips aren't rocket science. They aren't things you don't already know. But I hope they are the reminder or the push you need to reach out to an old friend and say Hey, I've really missed you .

If you’re feeling that your support system has dwindled, if you’ve lost touch with people you miss or who you cared about, if you’re feeling isolated and lonely:

Identify the meaningful people you've lost touch with.  This might mean thinking waaaay back to an old friend from high school or college, or it may mean thinking of someone you just haven't talked to in two or three months and really miss.

Ignore those stories you're telling yourself and write a new story.  Guess what? Sometimes our thoughts aren't accurate. Sometimes we have to say: Just because I am worried about something doesn't mean I shouldn't give it a try anyway.  If you're telling yourself the story that it's been too long or that they're too busy, that's nothing more than a thought. It doesn't mean it's true, and it certainly doesn't mean you can't reach out anyway!

Just do it.  Have you been thinking about reaching out to an old friend or family member for a while, but keep putting it off? STOP PUTTING IT OFF.  DO IT RIGHT NOW. I don't want to sound cliché but, life is short!

Apologize if you need to.  We all screw up. We all hurt other people sometimes. We can't control if someone forgives us, but we can say we're sorry and hope for the best. It isn't easy, but sometimes it really pays off... And sometimes people really surprise you. Don't believe me? This year, I reached out to someone I was really terrible to after eight years. Eight years! And I was terrible . Terrible! Not only did that person forgive me, but we've somehow managed to restore a friendship I thought was gone for good.

We want to know your experience. Is there someone you're going to reach out to?  Have you lost touch with someone and then gotten back in touch? Leave a comment .

We wrote a book!

After writing online articles for  What’s Your Grief for over a decade, we finally wrote a tangible, real-life book!

What’s Your Grief? Lists to Help you Through Any Loss  is for people experiencing any type of loss. This book discusses some of the most common grief experiences and breaks down psychological concepts to help you understand your thoughts and emotions. It also shares useful coping tools, and helps the reader reflect on their unique relationship with grief and loss.

You can find What’s Your Grief? Lists to Help you Through Any Loss wherever you buy books:

• Barnes & Noble
• Books A Million
• Hudson Booksellers

Let’s be grief friends.

We post a new article to What’s Your Grief about once a week. Subscribe to stay up to date on all our posts.

Related Blog Posts

Embracing the Strength of Weak Ties

The Case for Unscripted Grief Support: Why we no longer advise people what not to say

Setting Your Grief Boundaries

4 Tips to Deal With People Who Say the Wrong Thing When You're Grieving

When You Can't Be With A Dying Family Member

28 comments on "hey old friend: reconnecting with people who matter".

anon   February 7, 2023 at 11:23 pm Reply

I have been avail on FB for years. My High school( 1980’s) had one gal, who was bff, and we only did 1.2 dozen few fb text over 25 yrr period. dead head friend. suddenly she decides ” hey I am in your city” * I felt resentment. not excitement. you want me to drop paid work, spend 5 hrs in hellish traffic, spend $$ for my own lunch ? I had hard look into my needs. 1. she is making me do all the work, 2. no offer of “i buy you lunch”. 3. she gives me a tiny window, and ‘flakey hours ” so it puts my schedule into chaos last min,. so, i followed my gut, planned to repair my house, and said ” sorry but i just don’t have the short time frame outta work..ect…to visit this time

btw..she has been through my city 10 times, and NEVER reached out!!

Lilly   June 21, 2022 at 3:50 am Reply

I enjoyed this article but still have mixed feelings. I’m happily Married but sometimes my mind drifts off into the past. I think about this boy that was a friend that turned into a 3 week relationship adventure, we were in high school and he was a funny kid. We kept in touch for a bit and hung out a bit after the “break up”, until my husband and I became serious and the whole friendship with exs thing was a no go. That was about 11 years ago since we “dated” and 8 years since we last hung out. Why does he sporadically cross my mind?

Litsa   June 27, 2022 at 7:32 am Reply

It is impossible to say why, but often those people where things were short or easy come up. It is easy to romanticize a 3 week relationship adventure because it didn’t probably have a lot of “tough stuff” that longer relationships have when you’re older. So it’s easy for nostalgia to kick in and it can feel like an escape from all the hard or more complicated things in the present.

Remy   April 15, 2022 at 6:23 am Reply

Ugh I’m dealing with this again except I’m sort of on the receiving end. My former best friend’s mom claims that her daughter misses me so I should contact her. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I’m not interested in being friends with her daughter.

The last time she tried to rekindle our friendship I kept things short so her daughter would know that I have no intentions in catching up. She caught on or maybe just didn’t care as usual. When we were friends I remember it ending with me feeling like it was one sided so I silently removed myself. It seemed my friend at the time didn’t notice or care since she still didn’t initiate contact. She would repsond to me most of the time but almost never contact me first.

I don’t recall our friendship always being like that but maybe it was and I never noticed. I did talk to her about how it bothers me and she said she enjoys me contacting her but she doesn’t feel like contacting me and that it’s not her problem if I feel upset about it.

I recently ran into her mom and same thing expect she said her daughter isn’t doing well and that I should call her not text her. I didn’t have much of an emotional evocation so I guess I’m over the friendship. I don’t want to get sucked back in. I’m not looking forward to reaching out and I’ll be praying that she doesn’t pick up the phone. That friendship wasn’t healthy for me since she was mostly mean. At the time I was a people pleaser push over that tolerated too much foul treatment from everyone. Anyways I think I’ll just say Happy Easter and leave it at that.

Elohor   November 9, 2022 at 11:22 pm Reply

I don’t know what say it’s been traumatizing years to meet a old friend who’s older than me and who’s taller than me and who’s knew my boundaries and my lack of abilities my lack of freedom she’s have been here for me I always fail everything to do what’s best for me. Ever since this incident happened she has been comforting me for a month… I said this was a big shocking devastating… it’s been for several days I have seen her in person Before that incident happened she hug me and said sorry for your loss I started break down in tears till I cry myself to sleep… her name is Natashae Stewart December 26th I’ve been putting my life pieces back to together I’ve been struggling at home… I couldn’t watch television anymore because of pilling up the bills…

I couldn’t sleep or eat, do my journal all I heard is knock on my window 🪟 it was her I said how did u get inside my room… she woke up me up I couldn’t go back to sleep… I wish me and her could take a relaxing road trip but it’s not going happened because I have to take care of my family is important

Hey we all made mistakes… I’ve never dance and done crazy things I’m happy I didn’t like her but now I like her 100 percent we Need be together not a apart

Today we danced 🕺 in my living room and I was being a happy girl in my life… this morning I didn’t eat so she got me food

Camille Smith   September 24, 2021 at 3:50 am Reply

Thank you so much for this article. Because if you, I now know how to get my best friend back.

Star_boy2   May 4, 2021 at 11:34 pm Reply

thank you so much for this article. I was just asking for a sign earlier today if I should reach out to a significant person from my past. He was a very significant person in my life and to this day I still have dreams about him. I care about him a great deal and it pains me, as I believe he is in an unhealthy situation. He has accused me of doing multiple harmful things; none of which I have done nor would I want to do; which eventually led to our relationship falling apart at the seams. I believe he is a damaged person and his wounds are causing him to see danger and pain when in fact there is none. It keeps me up at night, wondering and hoping that he is healing and improving himself instead of succumbing to his circumstances. I can’t quite put into words how much he means to me, he is like the older brother that I never had. found family. perhaps we once were Brothers in another life, I don’t know.

I was told by someone in his life to never ever contact either of them again. I do not want to rock the boat or start up any unnecessary drama. but my God I would give anything just to be able to hold him in my arms one more time. If I could give him A hug so big and so powerful it meant all of his broken pieces back together, I would do so in a heartbeat. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I should reach out or if he simply just isn’t meant to be in my life ever again. I know some people aren’t meant to be in your life for very long.

Sanney   December 20, 2020 at 4:08 am Reply

Well.. I’m clueless & confused. Don’t know whether this article helped or not. Whether I screwed up or the time was fucked up. I isolated myself from my high school friends & even, they didn’t reach out. I miss them, & I used to think that there was something between us (group of 5). Few days ago, I bumped into one & realized how much everything has changed. Guess what – I’m a boring person now. We were trying to find something to talk about… that effort should not be there. Friendships are natural. Ain’t so?

On top of that, there was a girl whom I loved/love… she was the only thing I ever wanted. She… let’s just leave it there. A thought used to pop up time & again, that this won’t work out in the end. And, I ran away. Now, I miss her.

I fucked up… and everything is gone. My relationships, friendships and what not. Don’t know where I’ll end up or what will happen. Just going with the flow… hiding at the same time – from my past!

IsabelleS   December 21, 2020 at 11:08 am Reply

Sanney, I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this. The reality is that sometimes relationships/friendships do take effort… They don’t always come naturally. Relationships are hard… Don’t be so tough on yourself about struggling to maintain them. There is always a way forward. Have you tried seeking out the support of a therapist or counselor? All the best.

Sanney   December 24, 2020 at 3:05 pm

No. Not really good at sharing my feelings with others. It’s affecting me… my personal & professional life, both. Only music is there by my side. Determined to somehow start living again… that that small array of light in this dark room!

Lily   September 15, 2020 at 2:31 pm Reply

Thank you for writing this, if found it very helpful and it somehow gave me a little bit of courage to reach out to my old best friend, that I miss dearly… Even though I’m still a little bit scared to end up being ignored or rejected, I still want to try, but it’s hard I want her to forgive me for something I did long ago, but I’m afraid that she already forgot about me and moved on. I wonder what should I do…

Lily   September 19, 2020 at 9:52 am Reply

Update : I finally reached her out, and she still remembered me, so you should give a try too! Take your time if you want to recontact an old friend, don’t have any regrets!

Patty   August 15, 2020 at 12:12 pm Reply

I have a friend that I miss dearly. I’ve had some family emergency’s lately that have made my life difficult. I made bad decisions, some out of confusion, and I haven’t been there for them the way I’ve wanted and I never got to really show what they meant to me. I’m pretty sure they no longer want to speak, but I wish I could apologize and open up to them. Just not sure what to do.

Star_boy2   May 4, 2021 at 11:37 pm Reply

I would still encourage you to reach out. If she is a real friend, I believe she would understand if you had a family emergency and therefore was not able to be around as much. I don’t think you did anything wrong, most people I think would choose their family over their friends during an emergency. I would apologize and simply ask for forgiveness, it’s all you can do. If she is a real friend then I’m sure she will be able to understand. I like to say that actions speak louder than words. I am sending you the best of luck and my best wishes for you and her. I hope everything works out for the best for everyone.

Debbie   June 17, 2020 at 4:30 pm Reply

I found your article helpful, however I find it very hard to ask for help

Michele   February 28, 2020 at 10:34 pm Reply

I have a friend from us at 5 years old , stayed close until we were 30, she got involved with drugs and we were in and out of touch for years. I never stop thinking about her , I’m always looking for her , I worry constantly for her well being .I pray one day I can find her before it’s too late . I still love her regardless that will never change . I know if we saw each other it would be like yesterday ❤️

Tonya   September 24, 2019 at 12:36 pm Reply

I had a bff (I thought) that I honestly thought that we would be bffs forever. She moved away and then I did as well. I would text her good morning and good night daily. The falling out came about a month ago, my family had our 3rd annual Labor Day cookout (which she and her husband had been invited to each yet, and for one reason or another they have never attended). 2 days after the cookout she texted me upset because I had not told her how it went and saying that I only text her good morning and good night. I explained that the get together was very small and a lot of people didn’t show and that I was truly upset by it. And that I always text her at those times to show that I’m thinking about her. She stopped texting altogether as did I, as I felt if she didn’t want me texting her good morning and good night then I just wouldn’t text at all. Am I wrong? How do I try to reconnect? Is reconnecting worth it? Background: I ended up staying with her for 2 weeks about 3 years ago and she went off on me for nothing in particular, she has depression problems and therefore I decided to give it another try. (I was on eggshells for the last 1/2 week and in tears) this is when her husband told me about her depression and about her being bipolar.

Cathy   October 27, 2018 at 2:50 pm Reply

You can miss someone every day but that doesn’t always mean you should get back in touch with them. Especially if the reason you walked away was that they brought you mostly unhappiness because of their extreme narcissism. But I’m lonely and this was someone who was the best friend I ever had. Until they weren’t. What to do.

Halle   August 11, 2018 at 11:44 pm Reply

There was a guy I used to talk to we were close friends . I could be so open with him and everything just instantly clicked , he got me and I got him. I was young at the time and going through some emotions . He was wanting to be more and I just couldn’t comprehend us at the time with my mind so scattered trying to figure myself out . He stopped talking to me for about a month and I met another guy and everything happened fast it was a toxic relashionship and he made me choose between him and my old friend who I missed . And thinking I did the right thing I chose him . As my toxic relashionship would end(many times) I would reach out to my old friend not getting to the point of a conversation and we get back together and I would cutt ties again and again . I always felt like reaching for him . And now 5 years pass and I still think about him . I always compared my bf to my old friend and he never measured up to our connection we had . I hoped eventually he would get off my mind but he hasn’t

Dan   April 25, 2019 at 5:53 pm Reply

It sounds to me that your priorities were a little screwed up. Why are you trying to forget someone that was a friend? I guess I should ask why did you push away someone whom you had a good connections with and try to forget them later on down the road? It doesn’t sound like you treated him well while knowing him. But we should always try to remember the people that mean the most to us, remember the good things. You were young and confused but then in a month you were ready for this other guy that you had a toxic relationship with? Your “old friend” probably took that as an insult that you chose this other guy over him if your “old friend” had genuine feelings for you. If you still miss him after all this time then that should tell you that hes important enough to reconnect with and maybe he was the one that got away. With all that being said, life is short and tomorrow is never guaranteed. Reach out to that person because they probably miss you too and/or would like to hear from you as well. No matter what is going on in their life. Who cares if reaching out to them is awkward, maybe something that they say will make you feel better about the whole situation. Maybe not but what is the worst that can happen? He doesn’t answer…if that happens, then you can take it as some sort of closure.

Halle   August 11, 2018 at 11:42 pm Reply

There was a guy I used to talk to we were close friends . I could be so open with him and everything just instantly clicked , he got me and I got him. I was young at the time and going through some emotions . He was wanting to be more and I just couldn’t comprehend us at the time with my mind so scattered trying to figure myself out . He stopped talking to me for about a month and I met another guy and everything happened fast it was a toxic relashionship and he made me choose between him and my old friend who I missed . And thinking I did the right thing I chose him . As my toxic relashionship would end(many times) I would reach out to my old friend not getting to the point of a conversation and we get back together and I would cutt ties again and again . I always felt like reaching for him . And now 5 years pass and I still think about him . I always compared my bf to my old friend and he never measured up to our connection we had .

Armaan.Baghadiya   December 23, 2018 at 4:08 am Reply

I just understood, a little feeling I had for a girl right an year ago, a feeling of friendship. It was The night of new year and Only she was there to ask me to join the party, while I was sitting in a corner of my life thinking how mess my life is. While she pushed me into the party fun and Made the enjoy the crackles and fun around. I seriously have no clue why was she so important to me. Maybe her presence made me feel too happy and got positive vibes into me.. or maybe I always felt there is someone who cares for me when I was with her. Sadly after few months of being close happy friends, I have no clue what just happened… All of sudden, everything just changed.. Even today I see her around me, She is there but I just can’t approach. Maybe I have fear.. I don’t know of what, but there is something that isn’t allowing me to go ahead and talk to her. I HAVE LOST THIS OPPORTUNITY TO BE THAT ‘CLOSE FRIEND’ OF HER…. You didn’t yet.. Go ahead and talk to your best friend. Get things clear. Just go up to him(Your Close Friend). Just for once.

Monica   November 20, 2017 at 8:32 am Reply

Hi girls! 🙂

I have a question for you:

A recent ex-boyfriend just lost his mother and I want to be supportive. Our relationship was long-distance and ended a little time ago, so all I could do when he emailed me to give me the news was to offer some words and to be open in case he wanted to talk or vent, which he did a day later. I know we’re not together, but as he reached out to “ask for my support”, I got that he was in a different mood and the “us” topic wouldn’t come along, so I felt it was right to keep texting and checking in on him. But now, after two weeks, he was honest with me and told me that he wants more from me, meaning getting back together, on a “real” face to face relationship. If all I can offer him is a virtual friendship and an attentive ear, he doesn’t need anything from me at all. Not rude, but really to the point. So now I’m so sad I can no longer be there for him, given that I can’t give him what he wants. I left communication open but said I would respect his wishes and wouldn’t get in touch unless he wanted me to. I’m so so sorry for his loss but don’t want to add to his suffering right now with more drama in his life. Do you have any suggestions? What do I do now, except from nothing? Does he still want me to reach out, as I know people in grief sometimes say what they don’t mean?

Thanks a lot!

RobinA   November 15, 2017 at 8:26 am Reply

There is an advantage to reaching out, even if the result isn’t exactly as you had hoped.

I had a very close best friend in college who was my roommate there for a number of years. After college I left the area, began working, and became quite immersed in my job. She kind of drifted. We lost touch because neither of us made a particular effort not to. I would periodically visit my college area to visit friends with whom I did still have contact and I would try to get together with Roommate. There was not a big effort on her part to make it happen. One of my friend told me that Roommate must not be too interested in us getting together, because she never helped make arrangements. I decided Friend was right and stopped attempting contact.

Move ahead 15 years. I still missed Roommate, even though I had new friends, and some old. I decided that *I* had to be the one to decide when to stop trying to contact, so I wrote her a letter. I did have thoughts about it being “too long,” but I ignored them. She wrote back fairly quickly and we were in touch again. I visited her several times and for some reason it seemed awkward but I did have a good time. It was weird, because other college friends I could not see for years and then we would get together and it would be like we talked every day. Anyway, we started to drift again, but I would send her a Christmas card each year, bringing her up to date on what was going on. It got to the point where I didn’t hear from her. So I decided – I would send her a Christmas card/letter each year, regardless of response, until I felt like stopping. So I did. Each Christmas I would feel like trying the contact, so I did. Never heard back. Eventually I just no longer felt the need and I stopped the card/letter. The thing is, I feel fine about it now. I don’t miss her anymore, even though I’ve never had a relationship that came close to the one we had. I stopped the attempts at contact when I felt ready and I now have no regrets, no coulda, woulda, shoulda . I did what I could, it didn’t work out, so that is that.

nicki   November 15, 2017 at 4:52 am Reply

Thanks for this article. I really appreciate your blog and red many of your articles! What I miss in the above article is ideas about how to tell those old people about our loss/es. Short background: I wrote an old friend and she responded immediately. I wrote back telling her things about my life and also stated that I am not fine because of something that happened but that this isn’t appropriate to write what excactly happened in an e-mail. I stated that I nevertheless wanted to mention it and that we don’t have to write about it right now and that she doesn’t need to say something about it. And I offered that we maybe can talk about it when we meet oder talk on the phone. After that mail I didn’t receive an answer. So, what is your experience concerning old friends and (when and where) telling them about your loss/es?

Leave a Comment Cancel reply

YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS WILL NOT BE PUBLISHED. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Notify me of followup comments via e-mail. You can also subscribe without commenting.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed .

Essay on Friendship

Here we have shared the Essay on Friendship in detail so you can use it in your exam or assignment of 150, 250, 400, 500, or 1000 words.

You can use this Essay on Friendship in any assignment or project whether you are in school (class 10th or 12th), college, or preparing for answer writing in competitive exams. 

Topics covered in this article.

Essay on Friendship in 150 words

Essay on friendship in 250-300 words, essay on friendship in 500-1000 words.

Friendship is a cherished bond that brings joy, support, and companionship into our lives. It is based on trust, understanding, and shared experiences. True friends offer comfort and a sense of belonging.

Friends play a significant role in our lives. They celebrate our successes, provide support during tough times, and make our journey more enjoyable. Through friendships, we learn, grow, and gain new perspectives. Friends inspire us and motivate us to become better versions of ourselves.

Maintaining friendships requires effort and commitment. It involves mutual respect, trust, and open communication. Quality time spent together strengthens the bond.

In a fast-paced world, friendships are invaluable. They offer love, acceptance, and understanding. True friends stand by us, providing support and making life more meaningful.

In conclusion, friendship is a precious gift that enriches our lives. It brings happiness, support, and a sense of belonging. Nurturing and cherishing friendships is essential for our well-being and happiness.

Friendship is a beautiful bond that brings joy, support, and companionship into our lives. It is a connection built on trust, mutual understanding, and shared experiences. True friendship goes beyond superficial interactions and offers a deep sense of comfort and belonging.

Friends play a significant role in our lives. They are there to celebrate our successes, lend a listening ear during challenging times, and provide a support system that helps us navigate the ups and downs of life. Friends bring laughter, happiness, and emotional support, making our journey more enjoyable and meaningful.

Friendship also allows us to learn and grow. Through our interactions with friends, we gain new perspectives, broaden our horizons, and develop important life skills such as empathy, communication, and compromise. Friends inspire us to be better versions of ourselves and provide a sense of motivation and encouragement.

Maintaining and nurturing friendships require effort and commitment. It involves mutual respect, trust, and open communication. Spending quality time together, sharing experiences, and being there for each other strengthens the bond of friendship.

In a fast-paced and often lonely world, friendships are invaluable. They provide a sense of belonging, happiness, and a support network that enriches our lives. True friends stand by us through thick and thin, offering love, acceptance, and understanding. They are the pillars of support who make life’s journey more meaningful and enjoyable.

In conclusion, friendship is a precious gift that adds immense value to our lives. It is a connection built on trust, understanding, and shared experiences. Friends offer support, laughter, and companionship, making our lives more fulfilling. Nurturing and cherishing friendships is essential for our well-being and happiness.

Title: Friendship – The Essence of True Connection

Introduction:

Friendship is a unique and valuable bond that enriches our lives with joy, support, and companionship. It is a connection that goes beyond mere acquaintanceship, rooted in trust, understanding, and shared experiences. This essay explores the significance of friendship, its qualities, the benefits it brings, and the ways to nurture and cherish these precious relationships.

The Meaning of Friendship

Friendship is a deep and meaningful relationship between individuals characterized by mutual affection, trust, and empathy. It is a bond that offers companionship, understanding, and support in both good times and bad. True friendship is built on honesty, respect, and genuine care for one another.

Qualities of True Friendship

True friendships possess several key qualities. Trust is paramount, as friends confide in each other without fear of judgment or betrayal. Mutual understanding allows friends to empathize and provide emotional support. Respect is essential, as friends accept and appreciate each other’s individuality. Loyalty ensures that friends stand by one another through thick and thin. Communication is vital for maintaining open and honest dialogue, fostering a strong and lasting connection.

Benefits of Friendship

Friendship brings numerous benefits to our lives. Emotional support from friends helps us cope with challenges, reduces stress, and boosts our mental well-being. Friends offer a safe space for sharing thoughts, feelings, and experiences, providing a sense of comfort and validation. They provide a support network during difficult times, lending a listening ear and offering guidance. Friends also bring joy, laughter, and fun into our lives, creating cherished memories and experiences.

Nurturing and Cherishing Friendships

To foster and maintain strong friendships, it is essential to invest time and effort. Regular communication and quality time spent together strengthen the bond. Active listening and empathy are crucial, allowing friends to truly understand and support one another. Celebrating each other’s successes and offering support during challenges cultivates a sense of solidarity. Honesty and transparency build trust, ensuring a foundation of authenticity in the relationship. Respecting boundaries and accepting differences helps sustain harmony within friendships.

The Role of Friendship in Personal Growth

Friendship plays a significant role in personal growth and development. Friends offer different perspectives, expanding our horizons and challenging our beliefs. They provide constructive feedback, helping us improve and grow as individuals. Through shared experiences, we learn valuable life lessons and acquire new skills. Friends inspire us to pursue our passions, push our boundaries, and achieve our goals. Their support and encouragement fuel our motivation and self-confidence.

Types of Friendship

Friendships come in various forms, ranging from childhood friends to work colleagues, from online companions to lifelong confidants. Each type of friendship brings unique dynamics and contributes to our personal growth and well-being.

Conclusion :

Friendship is a precious and invaluable connection that enhances our lives in countless ways. It offers companionship, support, and a sense of belonging. True friends stand by us through thick and thin, celebrating our successes and providing comfort during difficult times. Nurturing and cherishing friendships require effort, empathy, and open communication. By investing in these relationships, we create a support system that enriches our lives and helps us grow as individuals. Friendship is a gift that brings joy, love, and understanding, making life’s journey more meaningful and fulfilling.

Related Posts

• Essay on Pollution
• Essay on “Impact of Social Media on Youth”

Essential Elements of Valid Contract (Explained With Examples)

What is World Population? Main Causes, Effects, Top 20 Countries

• Writing Essay on Friendship: 3 Samples to Get Inspired

When in school or college, you won’t escape the task of writing an essay on friendship. It’s a paper revealing the power of having friends and reflecting on the corresponding values.

It seems easy to write. You craft a narrative about your mates, explaining what they mean to you. And yet, it’s an academic paper. So, some rules are still here on how to structure and format it.

In this article, you’ll find three samples of different essays on friendship. Feel free to use them to get inspired and better understand this paper’s nature and purpose.

Let’s answer all the questions related to friendship essays together!

What Is an Essay on Friendship?

First, the definition:

An essay on friendship is a short academic paper students write to express their thoughts and reflections on the topic.

The purpose is to:

• explore the phenomenon;
• understand what it means to you;
• realize the significance of having close people nearby;
• reveal the pros and cons of committing to a friendship;
• reflect on how friendship can help our wellness.

Friendship essays aren’t about “my friends and I” topics only. You can write about the role of friendship for mental health, craft an expository essay explaining the topic, or build a reflective essay on what friendship means to you.

Friendship Essay Structure

Friendship essays have a standard structure of academic papers. They are short and consist of three parts:

• Introduction about friendship
• Paragraph about friendship
• Friendship essay conclusion

In the intro, you start with an attention grabber. Feel free to use a quote, a surprising fact, or an anecdote. Introduce the topic and finish with thesis statements about friendship.

In a friendship paragraph, you support a thesis with facts, evidence, personal stories, etc. As a rule, essay bodies have three paragraphs minimum. So you can devote each paragraph to one aspect :

• Definition of this concept 
• Why having friends is essential
• What a friend can give you
• Types of friendship  
• Challenges mates meet on their way  
• Characteristics of a good friend  
• How to strengthen a friendship, etc. 

In the essay body, you can use stories and examples from your life to illustrate points. Tell about your friends and share personal thoughts — it will make your paper more compelling to read.

In the concluding paragraph, sum up the points and restate your thesis. Finish on a positive note, leaving readers with the food for thought.

Easier said than done, huh?

Below are three samples of friendship essays for you to see what they look like and how they sound.

3 Samples to Help You Write an Essay About Friendship

While Ralph Waldo Emerson friendship essay (1) is the top example of the paper on this topic, we’ll go further and provide several NEW samples.

Please check:

Short Essay on Friendship

This sample is perfect for high school students. As a rule, teachers ask them to write 150-200-word essays. The task is to describe concepts or things the way they understand them.

Narrative Essay on Friendship

Narrative essays are more about personal stories. Here, you can tell about your friends, include dialogues , and sound less academic.

500 Words Essay Sample on Importance of Friendship

Over to you.

Now, you have three samples and know how to structure this paper. Ready to write yours?

Let’s begin with the “Why is friendship important?” essay — and you’ll see that it’s not super challenging to craft. Be honest, share your thoughts, and don’t hesitate to write personal reflections on the topic.

Still don’t know how to start your essay on friendship? Our writers are here to help. 

References:

• https://archive.vcu.edu/english/engweb/transcendentalism/authors/emerson/essays/friendship.html
• Essay samples
• Essay writing
• Writing tips

Recent Posts

• Writing the “Why Should Abortion Be Made Legal” Essay: Sample and Tips
• 3 Examples of Enduring Issue Essays to Write Yours Like a Pro
• How to Structure a Leadership Essay (Samples to Consider)
• What Is Nursing Essay, and How to Write It Like a Pro

Essays About Best Friends: 5 Essay Examples and 7 Prompts

If you’re writing an essay and want to put your best friend in the spotlight, check out these essay examples on essays about best friends. 

Best friends are those with whom we have formed a deep and unique bond. What makes them remarkably special is that we chose them unlike with family. For this, some even consider their best friends to be extensions of themselves. 

We all trust our best friends wholeheartedly; that’s why they are the best people to confide in. And many of the lasting memories in our lives are those that we create with them. These memories could be filled with waves of boisterous laughter or even the most piercing pain when your friendship is tested.

Read on and find essay examples and prompts that could motivate you to write about best friends.

5 Essay Examples

1. how friendships change in adulthood by julie beck, 2. diamonds are not this girl’s best friend by courtney carver, 3. how to tell your best friend you’re in love with them – by those who have taken the plunge by sirin kale, 4. my best friend died: a real-life guide to coping by gabrielle applebury, 5. is it normal to not have a best friend by viktor sander, 7 helpful writing prompts on essays about best friends, 1. describe your best friend, 2. hanging out with your best friend , 3. long distance friendship, 4. cutting off toxic best friends, 5. falling in love with your best friend, 6. famous literary friendships, 7. a dog is a man’s best friend.

“Hanging out with a set of lifelong best friends can be annoying, because the years of inside jokes and references often make their communication unintelligible to outsiders. But this sort of shared language is part of what makes friendships last.”

The above essay delves into the evolution of friendship throughout the different stages of our lives, from childhood and teen years to family life and retirement. While we have all deferred a meetup with friends several times to attend to family and work, many people still treat their friendship as stable and continuous, even in long lapses in communication. 

You might also find these essays about camping trips helpful.

“My best friend is a magical, rooftop sunrise. My best friend is the ocean. My best friend is a hike in the mountains. My best friend is a peaceful afternoon. My best friend is a really good book. My best friend is laughter. My best friend is seeing the world. My best friend is time with people I love.”

This essay takes on a broader definition of a “best friend,” deriving from Marilyn Monroe’s famous quote: “Diamond are a girl’s best friend.” From having excessive material wants for every occasion, the author realizes that the greatest “friends” in life are not material things but the simple joys that nature and love can bring.

“It was supposed to go the way things do in the movies. Nora would tell her best friend that she loved him, he would feel the same way and then they would kiss – preferably in the rain. So when the 30-year-old arts manager declared her love for her best friend when they were still teenagers, she expected a happy ending.”

Check out these essays about beauty .

The essay by Srirn Kale treats its readers to compelling stories of best friends ending up in marriage and those parting ways because of unrequited love. But, before taking the bold step of declaring your love for your best friend, a relationship guru advises lovers first to read the signs that signal any reciprocity of these deep feelings. 

“Losing a best friend may be one of the most difficult and heartbreaking experiences you have in your lifetime. If you aren’t sure how to process that your best friend died, know that there are many healthy options when it comes to coping with this type of loss.”

Coping with losing a best friend could lead to depression or even suicidal thoughts, especially if your best friend means the world to you. Some coping tips include journaling your grieving process to understand your emotions and confusion better and doing things that can relive your best friend’s memories. 

“If you are happy with the friends you currently have, there’s no need to try making a best friend for the sake of it. You might have friends but no best friend; that’s perfectly OK. It’s not necessary to have a BFF.” 

Not everyone has a best friend. Some would find this fact hard to believe, but a YouGov survey has shown that 1 in 5 of the US population claims to have no close friends. The essay, therefore, explores the reasons for this friendlessness and gives tips on building a bond with potential best friends, starting with your existing circle of acquaintances.

Check out our top writing prompts to help you celebrate and write about best friends.

Begin this essay by describing what your best friend looks like and what traits you like most about them. Then, given these qualities, would you consider your best friend a role model? Your essay can also answer how similar you and your best friend are and what things you both agree on. But if you have more differences than similarities, write how you deal with them or put them aside.

In this essay, describe your favorite ways to hang out with your best friend. What do you like doing together? Describe what a day spent with your best friend looks like and which part you like most about your dates. If your conversations draw your mutual admiration for each other, then talk about what topics make you talk for hours on end and their perspectives on things that you find fascinating.

Do different time zones make friends grow apart? Or does distance make the heart grow fonder? First, interview two to three people whose best friends moved to a different country or city. Next, learn how frequently they communicate with each other. Finally, compile these stories and make a smooth transition to each one such that the structure highlights the challenges of long-distance friendships and how each set of friends gets by. 

Discarding best friends is a hard decision. But it is also brave if you feel they are dragging you down. For this prompt, you can pose a list of questions readers can ask themselves to grasp the situation better. For example, is your friend doing you more harm than good? Have you set boundaries that they find hard to respect? Then, explain how reflecting on each question can help one determine when it is time to cut some ties loose.

Falling in love with your best friend can only end in two scenarios: a happy ever after or an end of a beautiful relationship. Expanding on our essay prompt above, list down more tips to know when it is best to confront your best friend about your feelings or work hard to quash your emotions for the continuity of the relationship.

Pick out best friends from novels that formed friendships that touched you the most. They could be Harry, Ron, Hermoine of Harry Potter, Frodo, Sam of the Lord Of The Rings, or even Sherlock and Watson From The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes. First, describe what it is in their friendship that you find most riveting. Then, narrate events that served as the biggest tests to their friendships and how they conquered these challenges. 

What about dogs that some people find more lovable than others? Answer this in your essay by outlining the traits that make a dog the ideal best friend. For one, their loyalty makes us confident that they will not betray us. If you have a dog, write about the qualities that make your dog a reliable and fun companion. Then, narrate events when your dog proved to be your best friend. 

If you’re still stuck, check out our general resource of essay writing topics . 

If you want to ensure that your thoughts flow smoothly in your essay, check out our guide packed full of transition words for essays .

Martin is an avid writer specializing in editing and proofreading. He also enjoys literary analysis and writing about food and travel.

View all posts

Essay on Friendship for Students and Children

500+ words essay on friendship.

Friendship is one of the greatest bonds anyone can ever wish for. Lucky are those who have friends they can trust. Friendship is a devoted relationship between two individuals. They both feel immense care and love for each other. Usually, a friendship is shared by two people who have similar interests and feelings.

You meet many along the way of life but only some stay with you forever. Those are your real friends who stay by your side through thick and thin. Friendship is the most beautiful gift you can present to anyone. It is one which stays with a person forever.

True Friendship

A person is acquainted with many persons in their life. However, the closest ones become our friends. You may have a large friend circle in school or college , but you know you can only count on one or two people with whom you share true friendship.

There are essentially two types of friends, one is good friends the other are true friends or best friends. They’re the ones with whom we have a special bond of love and affection. In other words, having a true friend makes our lives easier and full of happiness.

Most importantly, true friendship stands for a relationship free of any judgments. In a true friendship, a person can be themselves completely without the fear of being judged. It makes you feel loved and accepted. This kind of freedom is what every human strives to have in their lives.

In short, true friendship is what gives us reason to stay strong in life. Having a loving family and all is okay but you also need true friendship to be completely happy. Some people don’t even have families but they have friends who’re like their family only. Thus, we see having true friends means a lot to everyone.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Importance of Friendship

Friendship is important in life because it teaches us a great deal about life. We learn so many lessons from friendship which we won’t find anywhere else. You learn to love someone other than your family. You know how to be yourself in front of friends.

Friendship never leaves us in bad times. You learn how to understand people and trust others. Your real friends will always motivate you and cheer for you. They will take you on the right path and save you from any evil.

Similarly, friendship also teaches you a lot about loyalty. It helps us to become loyal and get loyalty in return. There is no greater feeling in the world than having a friend who is loyal to you.

Moreover, friendship makes us stronger. It tests us and helps us grow. For instance, we see how we fight with our friends yet come back together after setting aside our differences. This is what makes us strong and teaches us patience.

Therefore, there is no doubt that best friends help us in our difficulties and bad times of life. They always try to save us in our dangers as well as offer timely advice. True friends are like the best assets of our life because they share our sorrow, sooth our pain and make us feel happy.

{ “@context”: “https://schema.org”, “@type”: “FAQPage”, “mainEntity”: [{ “@type”: “Question”, “name”: “What is the significance of friendship?”, “acceptedAnswer”: { “@type”: “Answer”, “text”: “Friendships are important in life because they teach us a lot of lessons. Everyone needs friends to share their happiness and sadness. Friendship makes life more entertaining and it makes you feel loved.”} }, { “@type”: “Question”, “name”: “What is true friendship?”, “acceptedAnswer”: { “@type”: “Answer”, “text”:”True friendship means having a relationship free of any formalities. It is free from any judgments and it makes you feel loved and accepted.”} }] }

Customize your course in 30 seconds

Which class are you in.

• Travelling Essay
• Picnic Essay
• Our Country Essay
• My Parents Essay
• Essay on Favourite Personality
• Essay on Memorable Day of My Life
• Essay on Knowledge is Power
• Essay on Gurpurab
• Essay on My Favourite Season
• Essay on Types of Sports

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Download the App

The Innis Herald

The voice of Innis College since 1965.

• Personal Essays

A letter to an old friend

I hope you’re doing well right now. I really do. I was reminded of you today, but it’s not the first time. It was a beautiful day, which made me feel like winter is almost over. Not to sound apologetic, but I’m sorry for not writing sooner. Truly. Somehow, it took me so long to think of what to say. I’ve tried writing to you on three separate occasions, but I scrapped those ones before they could find their way to you. 

I guess there are just so many things I could start with. Or maybe there’s too much that I’ve missed. If I’m being honest—and I hope you understand—I thought to myself that you must be a completely different person by now. I wondered if you were ever reminded of me. I didn’t know how to approach this because I was unsure if we’d be far apart now. Part of me worries what you would think if you saw me today. I’m almost certainly not what you picture in your mind. I’m still simplistic at heart. Disgustingly sentimental at times. Some days I just don’t feel like doing anything, which I’m sure is surprising to you. I’m not sure if I can take on the world, but I guess I’ve made a start. 

There’s been so much happening recently. If you were with me right now, you would think I’m crazy. But you would love it too. There have been times when I thought I couldn’t be happier, and times where I cried more than I believed was physically possible. I moved cities and I’m living on my own, just like you always heard me talk about. I’ve grown to want better for myself, and I’m not as shy anymore. Well… maybe if it’s been a long day. 

Speaking of which, time seems so much more scarce now. I try to find quiet moments where I can slow down. It makes me realize that the time we spent together is so precious. I wish I could experience it again. Then again, it’s just wistful thinking. Everyone says that we haven’t even seen how good life gets. And that we won’t believe how much we’ll have changed once we’re older. We’re just starting out. You were never apprehensive when it came to things like this. I’m not like you, but I wish I was. Sometimes, I feel small. I doubt if I’m ready. I often wonder: Did I miss some turning point? Did I miss some crucial moment? Did I not try hard enough to improve? You probably know what I’m talking about. 

And over time, I realized that I’m not quite as unique as I thought. I sometimes fear that I’m already getting dull. I think there’s a sort of numbness we all become accustomed to eventually; it’s difficult to be sincerely happy. It’s not easy to be carefree when you remember there’s three midterms and a paper due in the same week… But you’ll be glad to hear that I still desire to open my heart to people. I always will. Being yourself just takes a bit of getting used to now. 

I know it’s been a long time since we spoke. I have a feeling you might be holding back a little. I hope you’re being kind to yourself. Eat well! Don’t skip any meals, you’ll feel much more tired than usual (not that I’m speaking from experience…). I hope you’re not staying up too late these days. I can say that having a random burst of motivation at 2am is the most productive time you’ll ever spend getting things done. It is also a sign that you seriously need to get some rest because you’ll probably be delirious from the lack of sleep. And most of all, I know there are probably times when you’ll be overwhelmed. Times where everything seems to be too much to handle. Times where you’ll wonder if you can make it. Just do it little by little. Believe that you can get there. 

I hope you’ll find the time to respond. I would be so happy to hear from you. Actually, I just hope that you’ve received this letter. Hopefully you smiled, even if only a little. Paper delivery may take a little longer, but I really think it has its own charm. Maybe because it’s the only thing I’ll patiently wait for. Please write to me soon! If you feel lonely, tell me what’s on your mind. I miss you, and you know very well how much I do. I’ll always be in your corner.

Your old friend

Note to the reader: This piece came about from a sudden urge to create. It’s not often that I’m able to channel this ~creative energy~ and let it out onto paper, but I really felt the need to write this down. I’m supposed to be doing another assignment (whoops), but I had to write this first. With the school year soon coming to a close and summer coming up, it feels a little bittersweet. It’s a sort of jumbled mix of relief, nostalgia, and the thought of saying farewell (not to be too mushy…but you get what I mean). It made me think of the many years that have passed already, and how different life is now compared to how it was before. I think of the people that I’ve lost touch with or that have moved onto a different path. I especially think of the person that I used to be. But I’ve always been someone who hates saying goodbye. So, I wanted to incorporate the hope of meeting again. I hope that by reading this, you are reminded of that. Think of an old friend, someone that you lost, someone you used to love, or even the younger version of yourself. By reading this letter, I hope you can revisit those memories.

One thought on “ A letter to an old friend ”

I’ve not spoken to my best friend ever since I was young I treated her badly and I felt heartbroken 💔 because what I did is maltreatment I felt wrongful. I hope you forgive me everything changed for the good everyone ages changed you supposed to care for me not being slack of hatred 💯 I miss her so much

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Find specific articles

Or search by category.

All work published in the Innis Herald, on the Innis Herald website, or on the Innis Herald podcast is representative of the author or creator only. The work does not reflect the values and beliefs of the Masthead or College. The Innis Herald is committed to demonstrating the student’s voice and facilitating the exchange of ideas in a respectful, equitable, and inclusive environment.

Land Acknowledgement

The Innis Herald wishes to acknowledge this land on which the University of Toronto and Innis College operates. For thousands of years it has been the traditional land of the Huron-Wendat, the Seneca, and the Mississaugas of the Credit. Today, this meeting place is still the home to many Indigenous people from across Turtle Island and we are grateful to have the opportunity to work on the land of Tkaronto.

Welcome Guest!

• IELTS Listening
• IELTS Reading
• IELTS Writing
• IELTS Writing Task 1
• IELTS Writing Task 2
• IELTS Speaking
• IELTS Speaking Part 1
• IELTS Speaking Part 2
• IELTS Speaking Part 3
• IELTS Practice Tests
• IELTS Listening Practice Tests
• IELTS Reading Practice Tests
• IELTS Writing Practice Tests
• IELTS Speaking Practice Tests
• All Courses
• IELTS Online Classes
• OET Online Classes
• PTE Online Classes
• CELPIP Online Classes
• Free Live Classes
• Australia PR
• Germany Job Seeker Visa
• Austria Job Seeker Visa
• Sweden Job Seeker Visa
• Study Abroad
• Student Testimonials
• Our Trainers
• IELTS Webinar
• Immigration Webinar

Talk About an Old Friend You Got in Contact With Again- IELTS Cue Card

Updated On Jun 28, 2023

Share on Whatsapp

Share on Email

Share on Linkedin

Limited-Time Offer : Access a FREE 10-Day IELTS Study Plan!

You should say

• Who he or she is?
• What he or she is like?
• How did you get in contact?
• And explain how you felt about it?

Sample Answer

Friends are the people who one can totally count on. The bonding of friendship is beyond the ambit of selfishness, astuteness, shrewdness and duplicity. Hence, finding or bumping into an old friend is nothing but bliss. Last week, I encountered one of my old school friends in a mall when shopping for clothes. His name is Michael and he used to be my best friend till primary school. However, we moved apart after I changed schools after being promoted to middle school.

Micahel used to be a gem of a person and was one of the sharpest minds of our entire class who used to be looked up to by all of our classmates. Consequently, he was an apple of the eyes of all of our teachers. Regardless, I befriended him because of his genteel and sincerity and his behaviour with all others. To my surprise, Michael was still the same even after so many years with the same smile, composure and that identical calmness, as if nothing had changed.

I was selecting some of the outfits and was discussing the price of the same with the shop attendant when Michael called my name. Upon looking at the caller, at first, I ignored him as I couldn’t gauge that he was an old pal of mine. When he called my name twice, I realised that he indeed was Michael. Thereafter, we laughed and guffawed galore, all the while till the time we looked at our watches. Finally, we shared contacts and planned to catch up again soon.

It was a pleasant surprise and an incredible experience. I rejoiced in our past and enacted every silly antic that we used to perform back in the day. To meet someone again from our childhood and that too when you least anticipated it is nothing less than a boon and I am glad we came in contact with each other again.

Meaning: scope Eg.: This case was beyond my ambit, so I shared it with my seniors.

Meaning: sharpness/cleverness Eg.: His astuteness and discernment made him the head of the staff.

Meaning: cunningness Eg.: Shrewdness is considered one of the essential qualities of a businessman, which is not correct.

Meaning: bluff; insincerity Eg.: Duplicity in his words raised the finger of suspicion at him.

Meaning: evaluate Eg.: I couldn’t gauge the loss before finally facing it.

Part 3 Questions

What is the influence of social media on friendships.

Social media has attenuated the spaces and gaps that are created when we move apart from our friends and kins and has played a significant role in glueing the old pals together. However, it has also curbed the intensity of the friendship to a great extent as it can never dislodge the essence of real meetups and hangouts.

Why do people lose contact with each other after graduation?

One has to go to pursue one’s endeavour and in order to follow higher education or seek a job that suits one’s education and intent, one has to move out of one’s comfort zone. Due to this, we have to distance ourselves from the place we met our friends or used to gad around during our college years.

Do you think old friends are more important to the old and young generations?

Well, honestly, it is not about the timeline or the number of years that decide the essence of real or true friendship. Frankly, it’s the quality of friendship and congeniality that one shares with people irrespective of the time.

Does friendship influence you in your personal life?

Yes, it does to a great extent. Friendship, by itself, is a significant part of one’s personal life. At most times, we discuss and chat around for hours with our friends to know their opinions on the matters that are going on in our lives.

What is the best way, in your opinion, to keep the connection among friends intact?

Well, for any relationship, regardless of its nature, the one thing that keeps the equation riveting and intact is honesty. Especially when we talk about an exclusive relationship such as friendship, there is no room for pretence, connivance and masquerade. Hence, I believe that staying true to each other is a vital attribute.

• Attenuating

Meaning: mitigating Eg.: This device is made for attenuating all of our problems.

Meaning : to travel across Eg.: I used to gad around with my friends when I was in school.

Meaning: friends Eg.: I was talking to old pals of mine when I should have studied for the next day’s exam.

Meaning: conspiracy Eg.: This whole plan of connivance was cooked by your brother.

Meaning: quality Eg.: The attributes of a good student are not at all congruent with the qualities you have.

Explore Other Cue Cards

• Talk About a Famous Athlete you Know
• Talk About an Energetic Person that you Know
• What Do you Like to Wear on Special Occasions
• Talk About a Time When you Felt Bored

Start Preparing for IELTS: Get Your 10-Day Study Plan Today!

Janice Thompson

Soon after graduating with a Master’s in Literature from Southern Arkansas University, she joined an institute as an English language trainer. She has had innumerous student interactions and has produced a couple of research papers on English language teaching. She soon found that non-native speakers struggled to meet the English language requirements set by foreign universities. It was when she decided to jump ship into IELTS training. From then on, she has been mentoring IELTS aspirants. She joined IELTSMaterial about a year ago, and her contributions have been exceptional. Her essay ideas and vocabulary have taken many students to a band 9.

Explore other Cue Cards

Nehasri Ravishenbagam

Kasturika Samanta

Raajdeep Saha

Post your Comments

Recent articles.

Our Offices

Gurgaon city scape, gurgaon bptp.

Step 1 of 3

Great going .

Get a free session from trainer

Have you taken test before?

Please select any option

Get free eBook to excel in test

Please enter Email ID

Get support from an Band 9 trainer

Please enter phone number

Already Registered?

Select a date

Please select a date

Select a time (IST Time Zone)

Please select a time

Mark Your Calendar: Free Session with Expert on

Which exam are you preparing?

Great Going!

10 Sorry Messages For a Friend (To Mend a Broken Bond)

“Recently, I’ve said some hurtful things to a friend, and I know she’s still upset. I feel awful and really want to apologize through text, but I’m not sure what to say. I don’t want to make things awkward or worse between us, but I know that I messed up.”

Apologies can be awkward and hard, but they also can help to repair hurt feelings and restore closeness and trust with a friend. If you’ve said or done something to a friend that you regret, or you’ve been neglecting your friendship, a sincere apology is the first step towards making things right. The specific kind of apology you need to give will depend on the situation.

This article will help you understand different kinds of apologies you can use, tips on when to use them, and will provide example quotes on how to word your apology.

Best ways to apologize to a friend

Not all apologies are created equally. Knowing the right and wrong way to apologize can help you craft a sincere apology that is most likely to be well-received. While it’s OK to send a cute or funny sorry message to a friend in some situations, more heartfelt apologies are needed when you’ve said or done something hurtful.

No one is perfect, and making a mistake or betraying a friend’s trust doesn’t need to mean the end of a friendship. A sincere apology is a good way to begin repairing a friendship and can sometimes even lead to a stronger, closer bond. The more serious the situation and the bigger your mistake, the more sincere your apology should be. These are often the hardest apologies to give but also the most important to repair and maintain close friendships . [ 1 ]

According to research, here are tips on the right way to apologize to a friend: [ 1 ][ 2 ][ 3 ][ 4 ]

• Apologize right after making a mistake, instead of letting a lot of time pass
• Give a sincere and heartfelt apology, rather than a half-hearted apology
• Be specific about what you’re apologizing for
• Take full responsibility for what you said or did
• Don’t cancel out your apology with a “but” or by giving excuses
• Don’t expect automatic forgiveness, especially when you’ve made a big mistake
• Demonstrate your sincerity by changing your behavior

10 sorry messages to send to a friend

The specific kind of apology you need to give and how you give it will depend on the situation, as well as the friendship itself. Below are 10 different ways to apologize to a friend, when to use this approach, and how to word your apology message.

1. Clarify whether an apology is needed

If you don’t know if your friend is upset or why they are upset, the first step is to check in and see if an apology is needed. Being direct and asking whether they are upset or what you did to upset them will help you get a clear understanding of the situation and how to repair it.

Examples of messages to get clarification:

• “Hey, is everything ok with us? Haven’t heard from you in a while.”
• “Got a weird vibe from you last time we talked. Did I do anything to upset you?”
• “Hey, I was thinking back to our conversation and am worried I might have said something to upset you?”

2. Be specific with your apology

If you know that you said or did something that upset your friend, the best course of action is to apologize to them. Specific apologies are often better than general or vague apologies because they identify the mistake that was made. [ 3 ][ 4 ] Use this approach when you know what happened, how it affected your friend, and what you need to apologize for.

Examples of specific apologies:

• “It was unfair of me to say _______ and I really regret it. I am so sorry.”
• “I should not have _______ and I just want you to know I am sorry and feel terrible about it.”
• “It wasn’t right for me to _______ and I just want you to know how sorry I am.”

3. Take full responsibility for your actions

If you did or said something you regret, make sure to take full responsibility instead of shifting blame or giving excuses. Taking full responsibility for your words and actions helps to make your apology more sincere, and is more likely to be well-received by your friend. [ 3 ][ 4 ]

• “There was no excuse for _______ and I accept complete responsibility. I am so sorry.”
• “I know that was wrong of me to _______ and hope you can forgive me.”
• “You needed me, and I’m really sorry for not being there for you. I should have _______.”

4. Apologize for the way something made them feel

In some situations, you may need to apologize when you didn’t actually say or do anything wrong. While you are not responsible for your friend’s emotions, apologizing for how something you said or did made them feel can help to protect the friendship. [ 1 ] Use this approach when you know your friend is upset but are sure you did not do anything wrong.

Examples of how to apologize for the way your friend feels:

• “Hey I just wanted to say I’m sorry you felt _______ and hope you know that I _______.”
• “I feel really bad that you felt _______ and want you to know that I would never _______.”
• “I am really sorry if I came across _______ or offended you in any way.”

5. Clear up misunderstandings

If there was a misunderstanding or honest mistake, it’s important to clear things up. Apologizing for being unclear while also clarifying what you meant to say or do can help to clear the air. Explaining your intentions, what went wrong, or how the mistake happened can help to strengthen your apology when a misunderstanding occurs. [ 3 ]

Examples of clarifying your intentions:

• “I am really sorry if what I said came across _______. What I was trying to say was _______.”
• “I’m sorry if there’s been any misunderstanding and wanted to make sure you knew that _______.”
• “Hey, I’m really sorry if I was unclear in any way. What I meant was _______.”

6. Ask how you can make things right

Another good way to say you are sorry to a friend who is upset with you is to ask them what you can do to restore trust and make things better. Acknowledging you messed up and expressing a desire to make things proves that you value your friendship and opens the door to repairing the damage. This can also help strengthen your apology and make it more sincere. [ 3 ]

Examples of asking how to make things right:

• “I know you’re still feeling hurt. Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?”
• “I really want to make things better. What can I do to start?”
• “Is there anything I can do to make this up to you?”

7. Commit to changing your behavior

The words “I’m sorry” are only sincere when they are backed up by a lasting change in your behavior. Be specific about what you will do or say differently next time, and make sure to only promise something when you are 100% sure you can keep this promise. This is called restitution and is an important way to demonstrate your remorse. [ 3 ]

Examples of committing to change :

• “I am so sorry for _______. I am going to make a point to _______ .”
• “I’m sorry for not being a good friend to you recently. I promise to _______.”
• “I feel really bad about _______ and hope you can forgive me. I promise to be better about this in the future.”

8. Express sincere remorse

An insincere apology can be even worse than no apology at all. [ 5 ] Remorse is what makes an apology sincere and involves emotions like guilt, sadness, or regret. [ 1 ][ 3 ][ 4 ] Make sure that your apology message conveys these emotions, especially when you made a big mistake. The more damage was done to the friendship, the more remorse is necessary to fix it.

Examples of showing remorse:

• “I feel terrible about _______. I really hope that you’ll give me a chance to make it up to you.”
• “I have felt so bad about _______. I know you really needed me to _______ and I’m so sorry I wasn’t supportive.”
• “I have not been able to stop thinking about _______. I feel so bad and just want you to know that _______.”

9. Give them space and then follow up

Don’t expect an immediate reply from a friend when you send an apology message, and understand that they may need some time and space before they respond. Even if they do respond, it can still take time for them to forgive you, so be patient with them.

Examples of how to follow up after apologizing:

• “Hey, I just wanted to check in and see if you had time to look at my message. I know you’re really busy but haven’t heard back from you and just wanted to make sure you got my message.”
• “Just checking in to see if you’ve thought any more about _______. I’d love to see you in person to chat more sometime soon, so feel free to reach out when you have time.”
• “I know I really hurt your feelings, and I’m not expecting things to be better overnight, but I’m here whenever you feel ready to chat.”

10. Let them know you care about them

When you’ve said or done something to hurt or betray trust with a close friend, it’s important to let them know you care about them, their feelings, and their friendship. Including this in your apology message can be a great way to rebuild trust and closeness with a friend.

• “I just wanted to let you know how important you are to me and that I feel so bad about _______. Please let me know what I can do to make things right with you.”
• “You are one of my best friends, and I never want to make you feel _______. I am so sorry if I did and am willing to do whatever it takes to make things right with us!”
• “I hope you know that I really care about you and only want the best for you. I know I really hurt your feelings and betrayed your trust, and I feel awful about it.”

You might also find these examples of thank you messages to friends helpful.

Final thoughts

Apologies are a great way to begin mending broken trust or hurt feelings with a friend . If you’ve said or done something you regret, make sure to issue a sincere apology to them, and don’t wait to reach out. Apologies are a first step towards repairing trust and closeness, and protecting your friendship, but their forgiveness may take time. Be willing to have open discussions with your friend, and prove you’re sorry by making changes to your behavior.

Common questions

Here are answers to some of the most common questions people have about apologizing to a friend via email or text messages.

How do I get my best friend to forgive me over text?

Sending a sincere apology note via text is a good start, but you may need to follow up with a phone call or in-person conversation, especially if you said or did something very hurtful. Ultimately, you cannot control your friend’s response, and sometimes even the best apologies aren’t accepted.

How do you prove you are sorry?

Saying you’re sorry doesn’t mean much unless you show sincere remorse. It’s also important to make changes to your behavior to prove that you feel bad about what you did and won’t make the same mistake again.

How do you indirectly say you’re sorry?

• Lerner, H. (2017). Why Won’t You Apologize?: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts. Simon and Schuster .
• Roschk, H., Kaiser, S. (2013). The nature of an apology: An experimental study on how to apologize after a service failure . Marketing Letters, 24, 293–309.
• Lewicki, R. J., Polin, B., & Lount Jr, R. B. (2016). An exploration of the structure of effective apologies. Negotiation and Conflict Management Research , 9 (2), 177-196.
• Bippus, A. M., & Young, S. L. (2020). How to say “I’m Sorry:” Ideal apology elements for common interpersonal transgressions. Western Journal of Communication , 84 (1), 43-57.
• Zechmeister, J. S., Garcia, S., Romero, C., & Vas, S. N. (2004). Don’t apologize unless you mean it: A laboratory investigation of forgiveness and retaliation. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology , 23 (4), 532-564.

Hailey Shafir is a licensed mental health counselor, licensed addiction specialist, and clinical supervisor working out of Raleigh, NC. She has a Masters in Counseling from NC State University, and has extensive professional experience in counseling, program development, and clinical supervision. Read more .

How to Become Friends With Someone (Fast)

210 Questions to Ask Friends (For All Situations)

23 Tips to Bond With Someone (And Form a Deep Connection)

12 comments.

my friend is mad at me for something i dont know wht should i do i tried apologizing alot of times but he doesnt listen can u pls tell me wht to do

You Will Just Continue Begging and Give Him A Small Space

This worked! My friend was mad but when I sent the apology she apologized too! but we r giving each other time rn and we will talk soon! thx soo much

I tried most of them. making them in my own way tho. She came online. and back to offline. several times as I sent each essay. I’m not getting a response. should I try anymore?

If she keeps coming online and offline she is thinking about forgiving you. If you made them as heartfelt as possible just send one more thing ” I know you are still mad. When you are ready to talk I am here. Goodbye ______”

I accidentally said something about another friend when she wasn’t there- and other friends recently found out and aren’t exactly pleased about it. Does anyone have any advice? Thanks

Own up to what you said first and then apologize. If the person finds out then apologize to her/him and promise not to talk about anyone behind their back again. Good luck.

what do I do if I backstabbed them? and I wanna mend our relationship?

Hi, My goddaughter overheard me expressing my feelings about the way she hurt me to another person over the phone. I apologized and asked for forgiveness but her response was “Leave me alone don’t talk to me!”

THIS IS NOT WORKING FOR ME

this helped alot with me and my bff

#4 is dumb. if the feeling isn’t attached to your action, there is no point. You can do something that is perceived to cause a reaction but apologizing for their feelings is lame and bad.

Leave a Comment Cancel reply

Notify me when someone responds to my comment.

To get advice relevant to you, choose below:

What is your relationship status, how would you describe your social skills, what statement best describes you, how motivated are you to deepen your friendships, how motivated are you to find like-minded friends, do you agree with this statement “i want to be more likable”, do you agree with this statement “i want to be more interesting to talk to”, do you agree with this statement “i want to be less awkward”, what best describes you, responses successfully analyzed, where should we send your personalized tips.

Onlymyenglish.com

Learn English

My Best Friend Essay in English (100, 200, 300, 500 Words)

A best friend is a special and unforgettable person in our lives and will stay longer than other common friends. We share most of the things, conversations, and important talks and support them anytime in our lives.

In this topic, we are discussing the best friend and the memories that we all spent with our friends and best friends. 

We have covered an essay pattern in various paragraphs of around 100 words, 200 words, 300 words, and 500 words, respectively, that helps many of the children or students of class 2 to 12th to understand the short and descriptive essay pattern of the best friend.

Table of Contents

My Best Friend Essay 100 Words

I always thank God that he sent Rahul into my life as my best friend, and I also wish that everyone has a friend like Rahul. Rahul and I met on the first day of school after the summer vacation when we were studying in the 5th standard.

I also remember an incident when our class teacher asked him about his previous school and the place from where he came. He is a good speaker, and he gave an interesting answer to everyone in his introduction in class. 

He is good at studies and also a good athlete. He loves running and singing too, and his handwriting is also very neat and clean. I feel happy to become his friend, and he also loves my company, and we spend most of our time together.

My Best Friend Essay 200 Words

I have had a lot of friends since childhood, but Raghav is one of the kindest and most trustworthy friends for me. I must say that Rohan has been my best friend since childhood. He is a very good person and a true friend because he has a good manner that he never lies to anyone, and hates people who lie to him. He is a kind boy and also a sincere student. We both live in the same building, and our apartments are also in front of each other. 

My parents also met my friend in the school at the parents-teachers meeting, and they also like Raghav and his sincerity. We both have been in the same class from the 3rd standard until now. We are in the 10th standard now, and we both help each other in the preparation for Board exams, which will be held in the month of March. 

He always invites me to his house to play video games with him. Every Sunday, we both enjoy playing video games with popcorn and juice together. Sometimes, our school teachers also wonder about our true friendship and the strong bond between us. He has a set of badminton rackets and a shuttle, and we also play together in the evening near our building. We both love each other’s company.

My Best Friend Essay 300 Words

Everyone has at least a single friend who is more than just a friend to them. Getting a friend is common, but getting a true friend is very rare and a bit special. It is like a big achievement for people to get a trustworthy and lifelong best friend. I also had a best friend in my life too since childhood. His name is Ganaraj, and his mother is Telugu. We are neighbors too and also classmates. We always sit together in school and also spend most of the time together. 

He is a very talented person and always supports me in my studies. We both like mathematics, and also we love to solve maths numerical problems. I like to play games, and we both always play games together and participate in the sports that are held in school. Our favorite sport is Cricket, and we both are good all-rounders on our school cricket team. Our class teacher always suggests and supports us to play cricket even better and also helps in education to achieve success in life.

He is very valuable to me, and I always value his friendship as I value my parents. He is like my family, as a brother from another mother. Whenever I need his help and support, my best friend is there for me to hold me. We both live in the precious moment and create memories that will stay with me forever. Our friendship is a kind of beautiful relationship, and I hope any kind will never break these mistakes. Every Sunday, we go together to a playground near our locality, and we spend most of our time there. My parents also like Ganaraj to be my friend. Everyone is happy with our friendship and has a strong bond that never goes down in any situation.

My Best Friend Essay 500 Words

My best friend’s name is Siddhart Jadhav. We have been friends since class 7th A in Alfred Nobel High School. We both studied in the same school in childhood but not in the same class as our sections are different. Later that time, all the students from all the sections are sorted according to the previous academics’ percentages and grades and separated into four different sections. Due to this separation, I met Siddhart in the 7th A, and we became friends at that time. Later, time goes by, and our friendship bond becomes stronger, and we become best friends with each other and spend most of our time together in school, tuition, and extra classes. We also sit on the same bench in the classroom. 

Our likes and dislikes are also common, and we also love to dance and sing. In every annual gathering and other function that is held in our school, we both participate and give our best performances. We never wanted to win the competitions, our intention was to enjoy the gathering. Some of our school teachers don’t like our togetherness and friendship, but some of them loved and always blessed our strong bonded friendship to stay longer and longer. Siddharth and I always talked in the running classroom, and most of the time, our teacher also punished both of us by standing outside the classroom. We always tried to irritate the lecturer in the chemistry lectures by asking tons of doubts and questions. We eat tiffin boxes sitting on the last benches.

Apart from this naughtiness, Siddharth is very punctual, and he is never late for coming to school and attending classes. He always completes his homework at a given time and being with him, I also start studying very well and completing my homework on time. He keeps his books and copies very clean. His writing is very nice and encourages me to write cleanly and clearly for better understanding. My parents also compliment my friend that being with him, I also become responsible and a good student.

Siddharth and I are both excellent football players and athletes. When we both start playing the football game, the opponent team never wins. Our sports teacher always motivates us and tells us that we will become good football players one day. My parents also know Siddharth very much, and they like his pleasant behavior. Feel free when Siddharth and I stay together, whether for playing games, video games, study, or for going out to have fun with other classmates. Siddharth is my best friend, my first friend. He is the one who offers me help in my studies when I need it, supports me and always shows love to me, defends me, and stands by my side in any situation no matter what. 

In academics, my best friend, Siddharth, is chosen to be awarded the best student of the year in the 10th class. He is one of the brilliant students of our school and also won many of the competitions that were held in school. He is like a well-wisher, and I always enjoyed his company. He, too, feels secure and relieved by spending time with me as well. He is like a problem-solving friend to me. I never wanted to lose him in my life.

• Global Warming Essay
• Mahatma Gandhi Essay
• Essay on Holi
• Independence Day Essay
• My Family Essay
• My School Essay

You might also like

10 Lines on My Mother Essay in English

My aim in life essay in english, my father essay in english for students, women empowerment essay in english (100, 200, 300, 500 words), republic day essay in english, my country india essay for students and children in english.

• Website Inauguration Function.
• Vocational Placement Cell Inauguration
• Media Coverage.
• Certificate & Recommendations
• Privacy Policy
• Science Project Metric
• Social Studies 8 Class
• Computer Fundamentals
• Introduction to C++
• Programming Methodology
• Programming in C++
• Data structures
• Boolean Algebra
• Object Oriented Concepts
• Database Management Systems
• Open Source Software
• Operating System
• PHP Tutorials
• Earth Science
• Physical Science
• Sets & Functions
• Coordinate Geometry
• Mathematical Reasoning
• Statics and Probability
• Accountancy
• Business Studies
• Political Science
• English (Sr. Secondary)

Hindi (Sr. Secondary)

• Punjab (Sr. Secondary)
• Accountancy and Auditing
• Air Conditioning and Refrigeration Technology
• Automobile Technology
• Electrical Technology
• Electronics Technology
• Hotel Management and Catering Technology
• IT Application
• Marketing and Salesmanship
• Office Secretaryship
• Stenography
• Hindi Essays
• English Essays

Letter Writing

• Shorthand Dictation

Essay, Paragraph, Speech on “Meeting an Old Friend” Complete English Essay for Class 7, 8, 9, 10, 12, Graduation classes.

Meeting an Old Friend

Meeting an old friend is a very pleasant experience. It brings in its wake sweet and sad memories. Last week. I was travelling by the superfast train. I was on my way to New Delhi. When the train stopped at Ambala Cantt, a young and well-dressed person boarded our compartment. He was carrying a hand bag. His seat was booked next to mine. When I looked at him closely, I found that he was Virinder Shukla who was my class-mate at school. I asked him if he was Virinder. He said that he was. He also recognised me. We hugged each other. We had met after fifteen years. He was now an executive officer in a multinational company. He was settled at New Delhi and had come to Ambala in connection with some business matter. He told me that his parents lived with him in his own house. I told him about myself. We were very glad to meet each other. We talked about our school days and refreshed memories of those days. We were so deeply engrossed in our talks that we didn’t know when we reached New Delhi. We exchanged our name cards and invited each other. We parted on a joyful note.

About evirtualguru_ajaygour

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Quick Links

Popular Tags

Visitors question & answer.

• Gangadhar Singh on Essay on “A Journey in a Crowded Train” Complete Essay for Class 10, Class 12 and Graduation and other classes.
• Hemashree on Hindi Essay on “Charitra Bal”, “चरित्र बल” Complete Hindi Essay, Paragraph, Speech for Class 7, 8, 9, 10, 12 Students.
• S.J Roy on Letter to the editor of a daily newspaper, about the misuse and poor maintenance of a public park in your area.
• ashutosh jaju on Essay on “If there were No Sun” Complete Essay for Class 10, Class 12 and Graduation and other classes.
• Unknown on Essay on “A Visit to A Hill Station” Complete Essay for Class 10, Class 12 and Graduation and other classes.

Download Our Educational Android Apps

Latest Desk

• Role of the Indian Youth | Social Issue Essay, Article, Paragraph for Class 12, Graduation and Competitive Examination.
• Students and Politics | Social Issue Essay, Article, Paragraph for Class 12, Graduation and Competitive Examination.
• Menace of Drug Addiction | Social Issue Essay, Article, Paragraph for Class 12, Graduation and Competitive Examination.
• How to Contain Terrorism | Social Issue Essay, Article, Paragraph for Class 12, Graduation and Competitive Examination.
• Sanskrit Diwas “संस्कृत दिवस” Hindi Nibandh, Essay for Class 9, 10 and 12 Students.
• Nagrik Suraksha Diwas – 6 December “नागरिक सुरक्षा दिवस – 6 दिसम्बर” Hindi Nibandh, Essay for Class 9, 10 and 12 Students.
• Jhanda Diwas – 25 November “झण्डा दिवस – 25 नवम्बर” Hindi Nibandh, Essay for Class 9, 10 and 12 Students.
• NCC Diwas – 28 November “एन.सी.सी. दिवस – 28 नवम्बर” Hindi Nibandh, Essay for Class 9, 10 and 12 Students.
• Example Letter regarding election victory.
• Example Letter regarding the award of a Ph.D.
• Example Letter regarding the birth of a child.
• Example Letter regarding going abroad.
• Letter regarding the publishing of a Novel.

Vocational Edu.

• English Shorthand Dictation “East and Dwellings” 80 and 100 wpm Legal Matters Dictation 500 Words with Outlines.
• English Shorthand Dictation “Haryana General Sales Tax Act” 80 and 100 wpm Legal Matters Dictation 500 Words with Outlines meaning.
• English Shorthand Dictation “Deal with Export of Goods” 80 and 100 wpm Legal Matters Dictation 500 Words with Outlines meaning.
• English Shorthand Dictation “Interpreting a State Law” 80 and 100 wpm Legal Matters Dictation 500 Words with Outlines meaning.

IELTS BAND7

Best coaching Tel:8439000086

Dehradun: 8439000086

IELTS WRITING TASK 1 personal letter to an old friend

You recently moved to a new house and you want an old friend to come and stay with you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, Invite him to stay and suggest a date Briefly describe the new house and garden Say why you like the new house

Tips: Begin your letter as follows: Dear Jimmy, This is a personal letter as it is to be written to a friend. Therefore, the overall tone and language of the letter has to be friendly and casual. The letter will have an introduction, the 3 body paragraphs based on the things we have to mention as asked in the question and the signing off. Let’s begin writing!

Sample Answer

Dear Jimmy,

How are you doing? Hope this letter finds you well. It’s been really long since we last met.

I’m excited to let you know that I’ve shifted to a new house, a fortnight back. Things have settled down and I’m planning to organize a house warming get-together this month end, preferably on the 28th. Since, it’s a long weekend, you can come on the 27th itself. This would be a great opportunity for us to spend some quality time together. We haven’t really been able to bond up since you moved to the suburbs for your job.

I can’t wait to tell you about the house, it’s just what I always dreamt of. The location is a little off the city centre, away from the maddening traffic and noise. The best part is that it’s a ground floor independent house which comes with a garden and a backyard. The garden has some lovely fruit trees, giving it a rustic appearance. It’s amazingly serene to stroll there while hearing the birds chirping in the background.

What I really like about the place is that it brings the best of both the worlds. Not only do I get to enjoy the countryside calmness but also am able to avail good transport system and all other amenities of a city life. It’s very comfortable to reach the office in the mornings and do my grocery shopping during the weekends. My parents too have adjusted very well to the new place. Moreover, the house is spacious with three big bedrooms making it easy to accommodate our guests.

I can’t wait to see you on the 27th. Give my regards to your mum and dad.

(281 Words)

Best wishes,

IELTS Dehradun Uttarakhand Tel:  8439000086  ,  8439000087

Free Computerized Delivered IELTS Simulator

• IELTS Letter
• IELTS preparation
• Personal Letter

thnku for your continue support…its really helpful in my ielts preparation…it would be great sir ..if u could send some 9 band samples of writing task 2

Thanks for this great support , i found my self more confident with a good command over language .. Thnks to improve my communication skills

WhatsApp us

We use cookies to enhance our website for you. Proceed if you agree to this policy or learn more about it.

• Essay Database >
• Essay Examples >
• Essays Topics >
• Essay on Childhood

Essay On An Old Friend Found Again

Type of paper: Essay

Topic: Childhood , Town , Friendship , Video Games , City , Women , Coffee , Friends

Published: 11/08/2019

ORDER PAPER LIKE THIS

It was gloomy day in Manhattan. The sky was a sea of dark clouds threatening to burst. The streets of the city looked darker still as skyscrapers cast long shadows on roads and each other. Crowds of people were making their way to work, many of them carrying paper cups steaming with hot coffee. Coffee – just thinking of the beverage made me want to stop at the nearest Starbucks and get one for myself. I decided that would be the first thing I did when I reached the mall and began going over my shopping list in my mind.

Just as I approached my destination, the clouds exploded and it stared to rain in torrents. I ran the few feet to the entrance of the mall and went in. I did not need a map to know where the coffee shop was located. I had spent a lot of time here since my school days when I would spend Saturday nights at the gaming center with my friends. A chirpy young waitress greeted me with a big smile. I smiled back and ordered a black coffee and club sandwich. Flipping through a fashion magazine I had bought on the way, I waited for my coffee.

“Becky?” came a voice from behind me, “Rebecca Tyler?” I looked up and saw a girl, about my age, having half a smile and half a confused frown on her face. “Yes?” I replied, automatically assuming the same expression as I tried to figure out how I knew this girl. She was a tall brunette with a pleasant face that I somehow knew. Then the girl gave a huge smile and I knew. “Stella!” I exclaimed as I got to my feet,

“God! It’s been ages!”

“Since 6th grade?” she beamed as she gave me a hug. “Yeah, you said you were moving to Boston,” I recalled. “Well, I am back!” she said, twirling around on her toes. “Still into ballet?” I asked, smiling as I remembered how we looked as two 11 year olds, wearing pink tutus, giving broken toothed smiles. “Forever!” Stella exclaimed and we laughed. She was in town for a few days visiting an aunt. Stella’s appearance had changed a lot but, then again, so had mine. We were not teenage imitations of Britney Spears anymore!

We sat there at the coffee shop, had two rounds of coffee and spoke without a pause. We talked about other friends and where they were now.

We spoke about all the things that had happened in our lives in the past years. We went to the gaming center which was renovated now and played our favorite racing game. It somehow seemed more fun than racing a real car! Having found a friend from my childhood reminded me just how carefree we were back then. One of the biggest worries on our minds was homework. I tried to remember the pure happiness of being a child.

Stella and I spent hours just walking around the mall we visited as children and felt like little girls again. We exchanged addresses and phone numbers and promised to meet up every month with our other friends in the city. Of course, we are not always able to keep this promise but whenever we do get together, it feels like we are reliving our childhood. It’s a great feeling.

Cite this page

Share with friends using:

Removal Request

Finished papers: 268

This paper is created by writer with

If you want your paper to be:

Well-researched, fact-checked, and accurate

Original, fresh, based on current data

Eloquently written and immaculately formatted

275 words = 1 page double-spaced

Get your papers done by pros!

Other Pages

Free critical thinking on demonstrative communication, comparative essay essay sample, how we teach children to be gendered creative writing examples, example of the duties and responsibilities of american diplomats essay, does drug dog sniff outside home violate privacy essay, report on e waste, example of spanish slave codes in america essay, how to mark a book by mortimer j adler essay example, free essay on the seriousness of global warming, example of essay on mental illness, designing a good user interface case study, discuss up to three examples which illustrate significant changes in europe during essay example, culture change in pepsi co course work, the odyssey essay examples, essay on globalization pros and cons, the good deed of leon czolgosz assassination as a public service essay sample, report on fashion marketing, example of term paper on golemans emotional intelligence model a summary, case study on the principles of tqm in toyota, free art and fashion nicolas de largillierre research paper example, good cybersecurity and ethical issues in information systems course work example, the one thing i like to do essay sample, free the z scores course work example, event in my life essays examples, free understanding the csr by volkswagen report sample, example of fiorina carly research paper, who i am essays example, good example of article review on a win win for all legalizing organ sales, good example of case study on management and leadership, de broglie essays, disrepair essays, ceilidh essays, bioassay essays, flow sheet essays, administrative unit essays, couriers college essays, conferring college essays, correll college essays, cursing college essays, dimitris college essays, causse college essays.

Password recovery email has been sent to [email protected]

Use your new password to log in

You are not register!

By clicking Register, you agree to our Terms of Service and that you have read our Privacy Policy .

Now you can download documents directly to your device!

Check your email! An email with your password has already been sent to you! Now you can download documents directly to your device.

or Use the QR code to Save this Paper to Your Phone

The sample is NOT original!

Short on a deadline?

Don't waste time. Get help with 11% off using code - GETWOWED

No, thanks! I'm fine with missing my deadline

Oxford University Press's Academic Insights for the Thinking World

Walter W. Skeat and the Oxford English Dictionary

Origin Uncertain: Unraveling the Mysteries of Etymology 

Anatoly Liberman's column on word origins,  The Oxford Etymologist , appears on the OUPblog each Wednesday. Subscribe to Anatoly Liberman’s weekly etymology articles via  email  or  RSS .

• By Anatoly Liberman
• April 17 th 2024

For many years, I have been trying to talk an old friend of mine into writing a popular book on Skeat. A book about such a colorful individual, I kept repeating, would sell like hotcakes. But he never wrote it. Neither will I (much to my regret), but there is no reason why I should not devote another short essay to Skeat. In 2016, Oxford University Press published Peter Gilliver’s book The Making of the Oxford English Dictionary , a work of incredible erudition. Skeat is mentioned in it many times, and I decided to glean those mentions, to highlight Skeat’s role in the production of the epoch-making work.

Twenty-six years separated the day on which the idea of the dictionary was made public and the appearance of the first fascicle. Countless people contributed to the production of the OED , but the public, if it knows anything about the history of this project, has heard only the name of James A. H. Murray , its first and greatest editor. This is perhaps as it should be, but in the wings we find quite a few actors waiting for broader recognition. One of them is Walter W. Skeat , a man of incredible erudition and inexhaustible energy. I have lauded him more than once (see, for example, the post for November 17, 2010 , reprinted in my book Origin Uncertain … .). However, today I’ll use only the material mentioned in or suggested by Peter Gilliver.

Skeat was not only the greatest English etymologist of his time (in a way, I think, of all times, despite the progress made by this branch of linguistics since 1912, the year he died). In 1873, he also founded the English Dialect Society and remained active in it as secretary and later director until 1896 (in 1897, after fulfilling its function, the society was dissolved). He edited the numerous book-length glossaries published by the society; attended its meetings wherever they were held, and without him Joseph Wright ’s work The English Dialect Dictionary (1898-1905), still a source of inspiration to students of English, would probably not have been completed.

Among very many other things (!), he was a founding member of The Early English Text Society , and in 1865, he became a member of its committee. Neither post was “ceremonial,” for it presupposed a lot of work. Last but not least, Skeat was a generous man, a rare quality in scholars. For instance, he contributed a large sum of money to the Dialect Society at its inception, and much earlier, in 1885, he loaned Murray £1,660 for the purchase of a house in Oxford, the location of the future famous Scriptorium . Curiously, to this day, it is often the philanthropists who subsidize historical linguistics.

In the early eighteen-seventies, some influential people suggested that Skeat should become the main figure in the production of what became the OED . Fortunately, he concentrated on editing medieval texts and writing his etymological dictionary. He would not have become a second Murray, but by way of compensation, no one else would have done so much for the study of word origins and early English literature. Amazingly, Murray, a wonder of erudition, had little formal education and no university degree, while the Reverend Skeat’s background was in the classics. As individuals, Skeat and Murray represented different psychological types. Skeat was impatient and ready to bring out a book, not yet quite perfect, in the hope of a revised version. He would have been satisfied with a much smaller OED , while Murray made no concessions to haste (his invariable goal was absolute perfection, a wagon hitched to a star) and advised Skeat to wait for the completion of the OED before publishing his etymological dictionary. Fortunately, his suggestion fell on deaf ears, but Skeat’s readiness to agree that the text of the OED might be shortened infuriated Murray. (The episode was the result of a misunderstanding, and Skeat apologized.)

At that time, all thick dictionaries appeared in fascicles, which presupposed a good deal of competition among the lexicographers, the more so as a relatively small circle of publishers was involved. The people whom we know only from the names on the covers of their works were often not only colleagues and even friends but also rivals. At a certain moment, Skeat concluded that the Clarendon Press had declined to take on the OED and turned to the Press with an offer of his own etymological dictionary. As it happened, the two projects ran concurrently and did not get into each other’s way. Skeat’s work appeared in 1882, two years before the first fascicle of the OED came out. Murray once commented on Skeat’s dependence on the research at the OED , but Skeat responded rather testily that the OED had also had access to his findings. Yet Skeat remained Murray’s trusted friend and often maneuvered among various projects, to prevent other publishers from interfering with the OED . Though also hot-tempered, he was more diplomatic than Murray, and the relations between the two men remained friendly and even warm for years. To James Murray, Skeat’s death in 1912 was a heavy blow. He survived Skeat by three years. (Skeat: 1835-1912, Murray: 1837-1915.)

Throughout his life, Skeat supported the OED by his reviews (today it seems incredible that once not everybody praised Murray’s work) and kept chastising his countrymen for their ignorance and stupidity when it came to philology. He never stopped complaining that people used to offer silly hypotheses of word origins, instead of consulting the greatest authority there was. He also tried to encourage Murray, who often felt exhausted and dispirited. This is the letter he wrote to Murray, when he was working on cu -words: “I could find enough talk to cumber you. You could come by a curvilinear railway. Bring a cudgel to walk with. We will give you culinary dishes. Your holiday will culminate in sufficient rest; we can cultivate new ideas, & cull new flowers of speech. We have cutlets in the cupboards , & currants , & curry , & custards , & (naturally) cups . […] Write & say you’ll CUM!” Nor did Skeat stay away from the least interesting part of the work connected with the OED and often read the proofs of the pages before they went into print.

Gilliver states that Skeat’s support for the Dictionary and its editors in so many ways places him alongside Furnivall and Henry Hucks Gibbs. Gibbs was “a wealthy merchant banker (and director of the bank of England) who would go on to become one of the Dictionary’s greatest supporters… He had been reading for the Dictionary at least since July 1860.” And the somewhat erratic Frederick James Furnivall (1825-1910) earned fame as a central figure in the philology of his day, even though today only specialists remember him.

A picture of Furnivall can be seen on p. 12. Gibbs appears sitting in a comfortable armchair on p. 43, and on p. 67, an entry for rebeck “a rude kind of fiddle” (among other senses), subedited by Skeat, is photographed. Quite a few more bagatelles of this type can be produced by an attentive reader of Peter Gilliver’s monumental book, but for the moment, I’ll stay with Skeat.

Header: James Murray photographed in the Scriptorium on 10 July 1915 with his assistants: (back row) Arthur Maling, Frederick Sweatman, F. A. Yockney, (seated) Elsie Murray, Rosfrith Murray. Reproduced by permission of the Secretary to the Delegates of Oxford University Press.

Anatoly Liberman  is the author of  Word Origins And How We Know Them ,   An Analytic Dictionary of English Etymology: An Introduction , and  Take My Word For It: A Dictionary of English Idioms .

Anatoly's latest book,  Origin Uncertain: Unraveling the Mysteries of Etymology  (OUP, 2024), is available to pre-order. 

His column on word origins,  The Oxford Etymologist , appears on the OUPblog each Wednesday. Send your etymology question to him care of  [email protected] ; he’ll do his best to avoid responding with “origin unknown.”

Subscribe to Anatoly Liberman’s weekly etymology articles via  email  or  RSS .

• Linguistics
• Oxford Etymologist

Our Privacy Policy sets out how Oxford University Press handles your personal information, and your rights to object to your personal information being used for marketing to you or being processed as part of our business activities.

We will only use your personal information to register you for OUPblog articles.

Or subscribe to articles in the subject area by email or RSS

Related posts:

Recent Comments

There are currently no comments.

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.