ra thesis formula

Thesis Statement Formula for AP English Rhetorical Analysis Essays

A good thesis statement presents your topic to the reader and indicates how you will interpret the significance of the subject matter discussed in your essay. Think of it as a kind of road map, designed to help the reader know what to expect in the essay.

But an AP rhetorical analysis thesis statement is like nothing you’ve ever had to write in school before. Unlike other kinds of thesis statements, a rhetorical analysis thesis statement demands that you do three things:

Identify the rhetorical devices you will analyze in your essay

Identify the impact of those devices of the effectiveness of the text

Identify the author, genre, and name of the text

Sound daunting? Not to worry!

The below, fill-in-the-blank thesis statement formula, designed for use when writing rhetorical analysis essays, will make your life simpler, easier, and more successful!

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How to Write a Rhetorical Analysis Thesis

November 20, 2021 by Beth Hall

One of the first steps of writing a rhetorical analysis essay is knowing how to write a rhetorical analysis thesis.

Rhetorical analysis thesis statements can seem intimidating, but they do not have to be.

While the thesis is a small portion of an essay, it carries significant weight and impact, especially on the AP® Lang exam. For example, on AP® Lang rubric, a defensible thesis is one out of six possible points.

So, what is a defensible thesis and how do you write one for a rhetorical analysis essay?

A defensible thesis means that the thesis or position can be justified, proven, or defended.

You can craft a rhetorical analysis thesis statement with the following steps:

Step 1: As you are reading the passage, look for strategies or choices the author utilizes. Ask: What rhetorical choices does the writer/speaker make? (ie. juxtaposition, allusion, etc) This will be the basis of your thesis statement.

Step 2: Mention the author’s purpose in the thesis. Ask: Why did he/she make these choices? Why did he/she write this?

Step 3: Consider the effect on the audience. This step is not mandatory or always appropriate, but it can strengthen the thesis. The effect is looking at the author’s call to action. Ask: How does he/she want the audience to think/act?

Now that you understand the basis of a thesis statement, let’s talk about where this thesis goes in the essay.

The thesis is best placed in the introductory paragraph. By placing it in the introduction, it gives you a direction for your writing (and often where readers go looking for the thesis). The introduction contains the hook, context, and thesis statement. Often, the context and the thesis are combined together (look at the example below). The context identifies the specific passage you are talking about in your essay.

You can write only a thesis statement for an introductory paragraph if you are short on time, but it is better to have a well-developed introduction. If you want to know more about writing an introduction, you can watch the video here.

Let’s put this information together and look at an example of a thesis statement.

In Leonid Fridman’s passionate article “America Needs its Nerds,” ← context

he defines “geek” and contrasts America with other industrialized nations to develop his argument that America values athletes more than intellectuals. ← thesis

By doing so, Fridman urges readers to reprioritize the current social hierarchy. ← Effect

If you are feeling unsure about thesis statements or need a place to start, sentence frames are a great way to begin a thesis statement. Below are several sentence frames and examples to help you navigate thesis statements.

In SPEAKER/WRITER’S (tone) speech/letter/article (to AUDIENCE), he/she uses ___ and ____ to PURPOSE.

Note: The blanks in this sentence frame should be choices or strategies (nouns). For example, “he uses repetition and juxtaposition to…” Saying “uses” and then a device is rather simple. However, this sentence frame can lead to a defensible thesis. Once you understand this style of thesis writing, you can try more advanced styles.

In SPEAKER/WRITER’S (tone) speech/letter/article (to AUDIENCE), he/she ____ and ____ to PURPOSE.

Example: In his patriotic speech to Congress, President Roosevelt repeats “attacked” and “deliberate” as well as appeals to patriotism in order to convince Congress to declare war on Japan.

Example: In his patriotic speech to Congress, President Roosevelt repeatedly emphasizes the deliberate nature of the attack on Pearl Harbor and appeals to patriotism in order to convince Congress to declare war on Japan.

When you are ready to begin writing thesis statements on your own, remember to keep the following items in mind:

• A thesis identifies the strategies / choices AND purpose. Without both of these, it is not a defensible thesis.
• A thesis does not restate the prompt. Use the prompt as a guide, not as a thesis.
• A thesis answers the prompt. This may seem obvious, but it can be easy to get caught up in writing and lose track of your goal

Looking for more tips about how to write a rhetorical analysis essay, check out this post here.

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How to Write the AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Essay (With Example)

November 27, 2023

Feeling intimidated by the AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Essay? We’re here to help demystify. Whether you’re cramming for the AP Lang exam right now or planning to take the test down the road, we’ve got crucial rubric information, helpful tips, and an essay example to prepare you for the big day. This post will cover 1) What is the AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Essay? 2) AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Rubric 3) AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis: Sample Prompt 4) AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Essay Example 5)AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Essay Example: Why It Works

What is the AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Essay?

The AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Essay is one of three essays included in the written portion of the AP English Exam. The full AP English Exam is 3 hours and 15 minutes long, with the first 60 minutes dedicated to multiple-choice questions. Once you complete the multiple-choice section, you move on to three equally weighted essays that ask you to synthesize, analyze, and interpret texts and develop well-reasoned arguments. The three essays include:

Synthesis essay: You’ll review various pieces of evidence and then write an essay that synthesizes (aka combines and interprets) the evidence and presents a clear argument. Read our write up on How to Write the AP Lang Synthesis Essay here.

Argumentative essay: You’ll take a stance on a specific topic and argue your case.

Rhetorical essay: You’ll read a provided passage, then analyze the author’s rhetorical choices and develop an argument that explains why the author made those rhetorical choices.

AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Rubric

The AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Essay is graded on just 3 rubric categories: Thesis, Evidence and Commentary, and Sophistication . At a glance, the rubric categories may seem vague, but AP exam graders are actually looking for very particular things in each category. We’ll break it down with dos and don’ts for each rubric category:

Thesis (0-1 point)

There’s nothing nebulous when it comes to grading AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Essay thesis. You either have one or you don’t. Including a thesis gets you one point closer to a high score and leaving it out means you miss out on one crucial point. So, what makes a thesis that counts?

• Make sure your thesis argues something about the author’s rhetorical choices. Making an argument means taking a risk and offering your own interpretation of the provided text. This is an argument that someone else might disagree with.
• A good test to see if you have a thesis that makes an argument. In your head, add the phrase “I think that…” to the beginning of your thesis. If what follows doesn’t logically flow after that phrase (aka if what follows isn’t something you and only you think), it’s likely you’re not making an argument.
• Avoid a thesis that merely restates the prompt.
• Avoid a thesis that summarizes the text but does not make an argument.

Evidence and Commentary (0-4 points)

This rubric category is graded on a scale of 0-4 where 4 is the highest grade. Per the AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis rubric, to get a 4, you’ll want to:

• Include lots of specific evidence from the text. There is no set golden number of quotes to include, but you’ll want to make sure you’re incorporating more than a couple pieces of evidence that support your argument about the author’s rhetorical choices.
• Make sure you include more than one type of evidence, too. Let’s say you’re working on your essay and have gathered examples of alliteration to include as supporting evidence. That’s just one type of rhetorical choice, and it’s hard to make a credible argument if you’re only looking at one type of evidence. To fix that issue, reread the text again looking for patterns in word choice and syntax, meaningful figurative language and imagery, literary devices, and other rhetorical choices, looking for additional types of evidence to support your argument.
• After you include evidence, offer your own interpretation and explain how this evidence proves the point you make in your thesis.
• Don’t summarize or speak generally about the author and the text. Everything you write must be backed up with evidence.
• Don’t let quotes speak for themselves. After every piece of evidence you include, make sure to explain your interpretation. Also, connect the evidence to your overarching argument.

Sophistication (0-1 point)

In this case, sophistication isn’t about how many fancy vocabulary words or how many semicolons you use. According to College Board , one point can be awarded to AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis essays that “demonstrate sophistication of thought and/or a complex understanding of the rhetorical situation” in any of these three ways:

• Explaining the significance or relevance of the writer’s rhetorical choices.
• Explaining the purpose or function of the passage’s complexities or tensions.
• Employing a style that is consistently vivid and persuasive.

Note that you don’t have to achieve all three to earn your sophistication point. A good way to think of this rubric category is to consider it a bonus point that you can earn for going above and beyond in depth of analysis or by writing an especially persuasive, clear, and well-structured essay. In order to earn this point, you’ll need to first do a good job with your thesis, evidence, and commentary.

• Focus on nailing an argumentative thesis and multiple types of evidence. Getting these fundamentals of your essay right will set you up for achieving depth of analysis.
• Explain how each piece of evidence connects to your thesis.
• Spend a minute outlining your essay before you begin to ensure your essay flows in a clear and cohesive way.
• Steer clear of generalizations about the author or text.
• Don’t include arguments you can’t prove with evidence from the text.
• Avoid complex sentences and fancy vocabulary words unless you use them often. Long, clunky sentences with imprecisely used words are hard to follow.

AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis: Sample Prompt

The sample prompt below is published online by College Board and is a real example from the 2021 AP Exam. The prompt provides background context, essay instructions, and the text you need to analyze. For sake of space, we’ve included the text as an image you can click to read. After the prompt, we provide a sample high scoring essay and then explain why this AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis essay example works.

Suggested time—40 minutes.

(This question counts as one-third of the total essay section score.)

On February 27, 2013, while in office, former president Barack Obama delivered the following address dedicating the Rosa Parks statue in the National Statuary Hall of the United States Capitol building. Rosa Parks was an African American civil rights activist who was arrested in 1955 for refusing to give up her seat on a segregated bus in Montgomery, Alabama. Read the passage carefully. Write an essay that analyzes the rhetorical choices Obama makes to convey his message.

In your response you should do the following:

• Respond to the prompt with a thesis that analyzes the writer’s rhetorical choices.
• Select and use evidence to support your line of reasoning.
• Explain how the evidence supports your line of reasoning.
• Demonstrate an understanding of the rhetorical situation.
• Use appropriate grammar and punctuation in communicating your argument.

AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Essay Example

In his speech delivered in 2013 at the dedication of Rosa Park’s statue, President Barack Obama acknowledges everything that Parks’ activism made possible in the United States. Telling the story of Parks’ life and achievements, Obama highlights the fact that Parks was a regular person whose actions accomplished enormous change during the civil rights era. Through the use of diction that portrays Parks as quiet and demure, long lists that emphasize the extent of her impacts, and Biblical references, Obama suggests that all of us are capable of achieving greater good, just as Parks did.

Although it might be a surprising way to start to his dedication, Obama begins his speech by telling us who Parks was not: “Rosa Parks held no elected office. She possessed no fortune” he explains in lines 1-2. Later, when he tells the story of the bus driver who threatened to have Parks arrested when she refused to get off the bus, he explains that Parks “simply replied, ‘You may do that’” (lines 22-23). Right away, he establishes that Parks was a regular person who did not hold a seat of power. Her protest on the bus was not part of a larger plan, it was a simple response. By emphasizing that Parks was not powerful, wealthy, or loud spoken, he implies that Parks’ style of activism is an everyday practice that all of us can aspire to.

AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Essay Example (Continued)

Even though Obama portrays Parks as a demure person whose protest came “simply” and naturally, he shows the importance of her activism through long lists of ripple effects. When Parks challenged her arrest, Obama explains, Martin Luther King, Jr. stood with her and “so did thousands of Montgomery, Alabama commuters” (lines 27-28). They began a boycott that included “teachers and laborers, clergy and domestics, through rain and cold and sweltering heat, day after day, week after week, month after month, walking miles if they had to…” (lines 28-31). In this section of the speech, Obama’s sentences grow longer and he uses lists to show that Parks’ small action impacted and inspired many others to fight for change. Further, listing out how many days, weeks, and months the boycott lasted shows how Parks’ single act of protest sparked a much longer push for change.

To further illustrate Parks’ impact, Obama incorporates Biblical references that emphasize the importance of “that single moment on the bus” (lines 57-58). In lines 33-35, Obama explains that Parks and the other protestors are “driven by a solemn determination to affirm their God-given dignity” and he also compares their victory to the fall the “ancient walls of Jericho” (line 43). By of including these Biblical references, Obama suggests that Parks’ action on the bus did more than correct personal or political wrongs; it also corrected moral and spiritual wrongs. Although Parks had no political power or fortune, she was able to restore a moral balance in our world.

Toward the end of the speech, Obama states that change happens “not mainly through the exploits of the famous and the powerful, but through the countless acts of often anonymous courage and kindness” (lines 78-81). Through carefully chosen diction that portrays her as a quiet, regular person and through lists and Biblical references that highlight the huge impacts of her action, Obama illustrates exactly this point. He wants us to see that, just like Parks, the small and meek can change the world for the better.

AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Essay Example: Why It Works

We would give the AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis essay above a score of 6 out of 6 because it fully satisfies the essay’s 3 rubric categories: Thesis, Evidence and Commentary, and Sophistication . Let’s break down what this student did:

The thesis of this essay appears in the last line of the first paragraph:

“ Through the use of diction that portrays Parks as quiet and demure, long lists that emphasize the extent of her impacts, and Biblical references, Obama suggests that all of us are capable of achieving greater good, just as Parks did .”

This student’s thesis works because they make a clear argument about Obama’s rhetorical choices. They 1) list the rhetorical choices that will be analyzed in the rest of the essay (the italicized text above) and 2) include an argument someone else might disagree with (the bolded text above).

Evidence and Commentary:

This student includes substantial evidence and commentary. Things they do right, per the AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis rubric:

• They include lots of specific evidence from the text in the form of quotes.
• They incorporate 3 different types of evidence (diction, long lists, Biblical references).
• After including evidence, they offer an interpretation of what the evidence means and explain how the evidence contributes to their overarching argument (aka their thesis).

Sophistication

This essay achieves sophistication according to the AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis essay rubric in a few key ways:

• This student provides an introduction that flows naturally into the topic their essay will discuss. Before they get to their thesis, they tell us that Obama portrays Parks as a “regular person” setting up their main argument: Obama wants all regular people to aspire to do good in the world just as Rosa Parks did.
• They organize evidence and commentary in a clear and cohesive way. Each body paragraph focuses on just one type of evidence.
• They explain how their evidence is significant. In the final sentence of each body paragraph, they draw a connection back to the overarching argument presented in the thesis.
• All their evidence supports the argument presented in their thesis. There is no extraneous evidence or misleading detail.
• They consider nuances in the text. Rather than taking the text at face value, they consider what Obama’s rhetorical choices imply and offer their own unique interpretation of those implications.
• In their final paragraph, they come full circle, reiterate their thesis, and explain what Obama’s rhetorical choices communicate to readers.
• Their sentences are clear and easy to read. There are no grammar errors or misused words.

AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Essay—More Resources

Looking for more tips to help your master your AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Essay? Brush up on 20 Rhetorical Devices High School Students Should Know and read our Tips for Improving Reading Comprehension . If you’re ready to start studying for another part of the AP English Exam, find more expert tips in our How to Write the AP Lang Synthesis blog post.

Considering what other AP classes to take? Read up on the Hardest AP Classes .

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Christina Wood holds a BA in Literature & Writing from UC San Diego, an MFA in Creative Writing from Washington University in St. Louis, and is currently a Doctoral Candidate in English at the University of Georgia, where she teaches creative writing and first-year composition courses. Christina has published fiction and nonfiction in numerous publications, including The Paris Review , McSweeney’s , Granta , Virginia Quarterly Review , The Sewanee Review , Mississippi Review , and Puerto del Sol , among others. Her story “The Astronaut” won the 2018 Shirley Jackson Award for short fiction and received a “Distinguished Stories” mention in the 2019 Best American Short Stories anthology.

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AP Lang Rhetorical Analysis Essay Practice

35 min read • february 2, 2021

Rhetorical Analysis practice is one of the most important ways to prepare for the exam! Review student writing practice samples and corresponding feedback from TA Brandon Wu! While you don't need to memorize every rhetorical device for the exam, you should take some time to familiarize yourself with them. To help out, we created this list of 40 rhetorical devices for AP Lang!

The Rhetorical Analysis Practice Prompt

Use the image below to answer the following questions:

In your response, make sure to include:

• A thesis statement or claim that addresses the prompt
• 1-2 body paragraphs  with specific evidence & commentary (how many devices or sentences of commentary is up to you)
• Elements of sophistication - Significance/relevance of rhetorical choices (“SOC”) and/or Purpose of complexities or tensions (“POC”)

Writing Samples & Feedback

Short essay practice submission 1.

As a sole female ruler of a growing and powerful nation during the fourteenth century, Queen Elizabeth I faced the hesitance of rulers and a people who doubted in her ability to overcome the weakness of her femininity and rule her nation to prosperity. In order to establish her power and the prove her worth as successful leader, Elizabeth I creates a tone of loyalty and confidence that serves to persuade her subjects that she is the ruler they deserve and need. In order to maintain her position as queen, Elizabeth uses comparisons and assertive diction throughout her “Speech to the Troops at Tilbury.”

As a ruler, Elizabeth I must establish a sense of loyalty between herself and her people. In order to achieve this common ground of trust, Elizabeth “assures” her people that she knows she has the characteristics of a leader she needs to "be [the people’s] general. and protect them. Through her use of assertive diction, Elizabeth is guaranteeing her people that this victory was not a fluke and she is the ruler they need. If they decide to remove her from her throne, they will suffer because they will not longer have her vigorous loyal devotion to protect them. She compares herself to a general in order to prove to her people that her loyalty is sincere. Although a “feeble woman”, she has the strength of a general to overcome the weakness of her feminine side to be the king that the people deserve.

While proving herself to be a loyal leader is important, Elizabeth also takes into account that she must be a confident leader who believes in her people’s and own ability to be victorious. In her speech, she claims herself to “know” the strengths of her soul and weaknesses of her body. She recognizes that she may not be the strongest, allowing for a sincerity to shine that establishes trust, but she believes so strongly in the cause of Britain, has so much confidence in their inevitable success, that she is willing to take up arms herself and fight. She creates a sense of courage and valor that is not common in a women and further convinces her subjects that she has the soul of a confident king who can lead them well. Without asserting her knowledge of weakness and confidence in her abilities to overcome those weaknesses, Elizabeth could not reasonably convince her subjects that she was a good leader. Without addressing the aspects of her nature that could make her feeble, her confidence could not shine in the persuasive way it did in this speech.

TA Feedback

Thesis - 1 point. I think you definitely include a defensible thesis and answer the prompt adequately by talking about Queen Elizabeth’s purpose. Great job with context in the intro paragraph!

Evidence & Commentary - 3 points. Great embedding of evidence throughout this first body paragraph. I really like your analysis about Elizabeth’s loyal devotion; it shows that you aren’t summarizing! What’s keeping you from the fourth point here in my opinion is that to get four points in E&C, College Board says that you should “Explain how multiple rhetorical choices in the passage contribute to the writer’s argument, purpose, or message” and while it does provide a caveat that “the response may observe multiple instances of the same rhetorical choice if each instance further contributes to the argument, purpose, or message of the passage.” However, I think your representation of diction and tone in the last paragraph does not quite meet that threshold of “further contributing” to the argument, purpose, or message, given the similar commentary. For instance, you say that Elizabeth has the strength of a general to “overcome the weakness of her feminine side” and sort of repeat that later on when you say she creates a “sense of courage and valor that is not common in a woman”. I feel like both of your body paragraphs sort of link to the same argument you make that she is strong, confident, and will fight for Britain. While this is typically something that is good (linking back to a central thesis), unfortunately, your two body paragraphs reference the  same literary device  (diction) and thus you earn only three points. My advice is to look for other literary devices, such as perhaps an appeal to emotion (live and die amongst you all) or an appeal to authority (under God/references to religious authority). Having multiple devices compared to multiple instances of the same device with accompanying analysis that links the appeals to emotion/religious authority to your thesis (loyalty/confidence) would have likely earned you the fourth point.

Sophistication - 0 points. I think there isn’t enough consistency here to grant you sophistication. While you do mention the hesitance of rulers and people who doubted in the ability of her femininity as context, your references the two other times (although a “feeble woman” & "creates a sense of courage and valor that is not common in a woman) don’t really demonstrate how you are  explaining the significance or relevance of the writer’s rhetorical choices given the rhetorical situation . They also seem kind of contradictory to me (is she feeble or is she courageous?) Think of the Madeline Albright student sample where it brings up the thematic idea of how women could do things in the broader context (seek out problems and fix them); I feel like your references to context seem to just be in the realm of Elizabeth’s leadership when they should have been more of a reference to women’s role in society as a whole.

Overall Score : 4/6 - Great job!

Short Essay Practice Submission 2

Queen Elizabeth showed herself as a strong leader during the threat of the Spanish Armada, taking over England, a major country, in 1588. As she addresses the land forces at TIlbury she reminds them that they need to trust her, and they shouldn’t fear. She enforces the trust by saying that she will place her life in danger, by being a general, if the Spanish Armada succeeds in attacking England. While saying this she is conveying that even though England is being threatened and a very significant event in world history could happen, the land forces should not fear because even though she is a woman she still has,”the heart and stomach of a king”.

At the beginning of Queen Elizabeth’s speech she recognizes the call from some people that she and other individuals holding a high office should be very careful of their safety. She disagrees with this thought because she is one with the people. By specifically telling the land forces, in Tilbury, she is empowering them by not giving up and retreating to a safer place, just because she is a queen. This gives the forces lots of strength because they know that their queen has their back and will not lose hope in the country or them. This trust alongside military power is what allowed the forces to defeat the biggest world power, of the time.

These empowering speeches are given all the time by world leaders in times of crisis. While the Covid pandemic may not be a battle like the land forces had with the Spanish Armada, it is a battle because people are fearing that the way of life they know will be taken away from them. To quell the fear of all battles or pandemics leaders will give speeches, or press conferences in modern day, it also helps their re-election if they showed strength during crisis. Another way Queen Elizabeth specifically empowers the land forces during their crisis is by saying that she will be their general if the Spanish Armada do gain control of English land. When she does this she immediately makes the country feel much more comfortable in that their queen will not leave them, even if her own city is invaded. This gives not just hope to the land forces they may have to directly battle the Spanish Armada but also the common citizens whose homes could be destroyed and families killed by warfare. This is very important because, as we saw with the Vietnam War in 1970, if the citizens don’t back the war it is very unlikely that you will win because it is the citizens who have to fight and produce warfare materials.

In conclusion, even though Queen Elizabeth was a woman she had the grit and determination of a man. This significantly helped the land forces respond to the strongest world power of the time. As she addresses the land forces at Tilbury she reminds them that they need to trust her, and they shouldn’t fear. She enforces the trust by saying that she will place her life in danger, by being a general, if the Spanish Armada succeeds in attacking England. While saying this she is conveying that even though England is being threatened and a very significant event in world history could happen, the land forces should not fear because even though she is a woman she still has, ”the heart and stomach of a king”.

Thesis - 1 point - I couldn’t find your thesis in the intro, so I ended up going to the conclusion. I honestly think it is much better to have your thesis as the  last sentence of your intro paragraph . Your introduction paragraph feels much more like a summary of what happened in the speech as opposed to a  rhetorical analysis  of how she used devices to help achieve her purpose. This does get answered though in the conclusion, but I would advise you to have an explicit thesis in the introduction.

Evidence & Commentary - 2 points - Your evidence is pretty general, but at times it is specific which connects to your thesis of how Queen Elizabeth was helping support the land forces and demonstrating her grit and determination. To increase your evidence & commentary score, I would highly recommend you quote (use embedded quotes) rather than paraphrase to help create a line of reasoning (which is how your argument flows / the structure of your thesis & body paragraphs). Moreover, I think you need to be answering why the author used the specific rhetorical device & how it specifically contributes to the author’s purpose. Using words to guide the AP reader like “this supports the author’s purpose…” will help you here.

Sophistication - 0 Points - While I think you do a great job bringing in outside context and talking about pandemics/re-elections, I think you need to be very careful here with how you incorporate sophistication. Remember, SOC = significance (or relevance) of the writer’s rhetorical choices in the  context of the rhetorical situation , and it seems that you are moreso talking about  other rhetorical situations  (Vietnam War, COVID, etc.). Also, I’m not very clear as to which rhetorical devices/techniques you’re talking about (details? diction? imagery? what kind of diction?) so I don’t think I can give you sophistication here.

Overall Score - 3 Points. I think this is an instance where it is definitely more important to work on evidence & commentary and find specific evidence of  rhetorical techniques and devices  to support your overarching thesis statement; then you can work on sophistication and talking about the significance/relevance of such rhetorical devices.

Short Essay Practice Submission 3

Ruler of England, Queen Elizabeth I, in her speech to the troops of tilbury, addresses the land forces during a threat of invasion by the Spanish Armada. Queen Elizabeth I purpose is to convince the Troops of Tilbury to stand by her side during the threat of invasion by the Spanish Armada and fight with her. Queen Elizabeth I, establishes her purpose through the application of diction, and the repetition of the word I. Queen Elizabeth I begins her speech by stating, “My loving people.” Starting the speech off like this, Queen Elizabeth I is creating a bond with the audience, she is implying that she cares for her people and stands by them. Queen Elizabeth I emphasizes the fight for her England as she applies strong diction to engender patriotism from the soldiers. She states “Your valor in the field, we shall shortly have a famous victory over those enemies of God, of my kingdom, and of my people.” Here Queen Elizabeth is utilizing the soldier’s sense of patriotism for their country to convince them to fight. “Valor” and “Victory” inspire the soldier to fight for their country and gives them a sense of purpose to fight for what is right. Queen Elizabeth establishes her reasoning through the repetition of the word “I.” Queen Elizabeth begins by stating, “I know that I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman,” by calling her self “weak” and “feeble” Queen Elizabeth is setting up a counterargument to defend herself because she knows that this is how many of the following troops see her. She is stating the thoughts of many and then counteracts it by stating, “I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a King of England.” Queen Elizabeth is establishing her status to the troops, as well as establishing her credibility. When Elizabeth states, “I Myself will take up arms, I myself will be your general…” She is implying that she is no different from her. She is emphasizing that if she is willing to fight for her country, then they should stand by herself and fight with her. In her speech, Queen Elizabeth is inspiring a sense of patriotism and hope to influence the Troops to protect England from Spain. Queen Elizabeth doesn’t speak to the Soldiers as if she was a queen, but she speaks to them like a friend. She tugs on their sense of patriotism to achieve her purpose of convincing the troops of Tilbury to fight against the Spanish Armada. She applies the rhetorical devices of diction and repetition to imply her purpose to the people around her.

Thesis - 1 Point - I love your explicit mention of Queen Elizabeth’s purpose and the rhetorical devices you emphasize. Make sure though that you specify what the diction is - every author has an application of diction, but include an adjective before to describe  what the diction is (emotional? nostalgic? uplifting? etc) . Evidence & Commentary - 4 Points - I think you do a very good job at analyzing the strong diction and anaphora (repetition of beginning words) and linking this to your thesis. Thus, I would give you four points for your  consistent commentary  in addition to your specific evidence.

Sophistication - 0 Points - There isn’t necessarily discussion here of the significance/relevance of the rhetorical choices Queen Elizabeth made nor is there a discussion of complexities/tensions. I don’t think I am a fair judge of ‘excellent prose style’, so thus I can’t really reward points on that metric.

Great job overall with a 5/6 on this rhetorical analysis essay!

Short Essay Practice Submission 4

Queen Elizabeth I faced many challenges throughout her reign, but by far the largest was her ongoing battle with the Spanish Armada. In 1588, Queen Elizabeth was awaiting an impending attack from the Armada and needed to rally her citizens to fight against something much bigger and much stronger than themselves. By abating her audience’s concerns about her gender and raising the spirits of the soldiers, Queen Elizabeth I unites the British people under a common goal of defeating the Spanish Armada.

In her speech, Queen Elizabeth tackles the stigma of her womanliness to display herself as a powerful leader that will fight hand-in-hand with the country’s front lines. She begins by saying “I know I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king, and a king of England too,…”. Here, Queen Elizabeth is being open with her audience and acknowledging her physical weaknesses while displaying her determination and passion for her country. Her direct reference to herself as having qualities of a king of England puts the listener’s worries at bay, as the kings in the past have been strong and capable of creating the large British empire that ruled during that time. Queen Elizabeth elaborates even further on her obligation to her country, saying that “[any country] should dare to invade the borders of my realm… I myself will take up arms, I myself will be your general, judge, and rewarder of every one of your virtues in the field.” Though she is a woman, Queen Elizabeth’s determination and passion shines through and erases the worries of her gender. By not ignoring her gender and weaknesses, she is building credibility with the listeners and making herself more trustworthy. Britain could be facing a dark time ahead, and her words calm the listener and give them confidence and pride in their country, something that is necessary when fighting an army that is much more powerful than theirs.

Queen Elizabeth also raises the spirits of the soldiers and citizens in several ways. Near the beginning of her speech, Queen Elizabeth assures her people that she has “placed [her] chiefest strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts and good-will of [her] subjects”. This is important, as committing to fight a much mightier army without complete support from a noble leader would be demoralizing to the members fighting. Another way that Queen Elizabeth lifts the morale of her citizens is by promising pay: “We do assure you in the word of a prince, [rewards and crowns] should be duly paid you.” If Queen Elizabeth had not done this, she would be left with many unmotivated soldiers who needed this money from the Crown to support their families. To conclude her speech, she with the most confident line yet: “we shall shortly have a famous victory over those enemies of my God, of my kingdom, and of my people.” With this line, Queen Elizabeth evokes the listeners’ emotions because of her references to personal ideas such as religion and patriotism, thus showing the reasons why she is willing to fight the battle as the underdog.

For many soldiers that had been fighting without pay and were scared by the sheer power of the Spanish Armada, Queen Elizabeth put their concerns aside and allowed soldiers to fight without other worries. She also gives other British citizens (non-soldiers) a reason to support a fight that seemed impossible to be won by the British if analyzed by the size of the armed forces. However, Queen Elizabeth was right: this fight is not about quantity of forces, but about heart. And by making her subjects sympathize with this belief, Queen Elizabeth successfully rallied her people and defeated the Spanish Armada.

Great job with the thesis point here - very explicit at the end of the introduction paragraph that tells me what the author’s purpose is and Queen Elizabeth’s rhetorical choices. In your evidence & commentary paragraphs, you did a great job of mentioning Queen Elizabeth’s gender and how she built credibility. I really enjoy your line of reasoning here in the second body paragraph while you mention her lifting morale and how she was able to motivate people. For sophistication, I think you do mention context “kings in the past have been strong and capable of creating the large British empire” and your analysis of how soldiers and non-soldiers alike were impacted (tied to your rhetorical devices) gives you credence to earn the sophistication point under the “significance or relevance of rhetorical choices” category. Great job on the 6/6 essay!

Short Essay Practice Submission 5

In 1588, Queen Elizabeth faced one of the most imminent threats of her career: the invasion by the Spanish Armada. Elizabeth had the task of not only rallying up her forces but also ensuring that they place trust in her and her plans to come out of the threat victorious. In order to increase confidence in her troops and cast aside their doubts of having a woman leader during this time of male domination, Elizabeth emphasizes that she will be making sacrifices alongside her troops to make and acknowledges and rebuttals her downsides that were associated with having a female leader at the time.

In the first two sentences, Elizabeth expresses her trust in her troops, saying “I have placed my chiefest strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts and good-will of my subjects”. These words of encouragement aid in pulling together the army as one; the leader has faith in them, so they should have faith in themselves. She continues on to say that she comes as a leader ready “to live and die amongst you all”, and lay down her body for her “God”, “kingdom”, and “people”. This is exactly what she is encouraging her troops to do: give everything they have to ensure the safety of their country and the victory during her war. As a fighter, you want to hear that your leader is in the fight with you, and that you are not alone. It holds even more weight as a woman leader, as women did not fight during that time period. If a woman, dainty and proper, is willing and pledging to lay down her life, the army is left with the thought that they are expected and must be capable of doing the same. This also serves as a warning sign for anyone who should “dare to invade the borders of [her] realm”; she is increasing the esteem of her army, making them a stronger threat, and is warning them that while she may be a woman, she is adept and strong enough to lead a country and mobilize a strong response.

In the next sentence, Elizabeth takes the argument that she is a “feeble woman” who is not expected to nor capable of leading an army of men head-on. She responds saying, “I have the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too”. By equating herself to the previous successful English kings, she is emphasizing the fact that while she may be a woman, she is just as mentally strong as any other successful ruler that preceded her. She wants the army to trust her, just as they had placed trust in King Henry and King Edward years prior. Not only is she increasing her troop’s trust in herself by underscoring her mental toughness, but she is also being open with her troops by acknowledging her perceived downsides as a woman ruler. Despite her being a woman, she will do the best she can to have “a famous victory over those enemies”. And, this statement serves as a “heads-up” for foreign invaders as well–She is strong, she is capable, and she is ready to fight, regardless of her gender.

Good job here with the the thesis - I would include something along the lines of “Elizabeth uses rhetorical devices and techniques to emphasize…” in order to help your essay flow later. Still, you aren’t restating the prompt and answering with something that can be proven by evidence, so you earn the thesis point. For evidence & commentary, I think you have great analysis about women during that time period and how she is “increasing the esteem of her army”. Moreover, I appreciate your analysis of King Henry and King Edward adding some useful context. Ultimately though, I feel as if you are really only talking about diction in these two paragraphs and College Board says that you need to mention  more than one rhetorical device  (with the caveat that I mentioned in Perla’s post). Thus, I think you earn 3 points here in evidence & commentary.

In terms of sophistication, I’m a bit borderline on this, but I’ll award it to you because I think you do mention multiple times (and incorporate it into your argument) that women during that time period didn’t really have leading positions and she demonstrated her committed leadership both in your second and third paragraph. So in total, you earned five out of six points!

There is something that every country needs to be successful: a great leader. A great leader is not just someone who makes the decisions, a great leader respects their people. A great leader loves their people. A great leader inspires their people. Queen Elizabeth I proves that she is a great leader during her speech to her land forces in 1588. There was a threat of invasion by the Spanish Armada and Queen Elizabeths duty as a leader was to make sure that this invasion does not happen. By establishing a sense of trust with her people and appealing to her audiences patriotism, Elizabeth successfully inspires her people which provokes them to fight for their country with their whole heart.

Queen Elizabeth opens up her speech with an compassionate tone, which helps her establish a sense of loyalty with her people. Her first words were “My loving people” which provokes emotion from her audience. She continues to express that she “does not desire to live to distrust my faithful and loving people.” This continues to establish a sense of trust between her and her audience. She also goes on to say that she will “live and die amongst you all; to lay down for my God, and for my kingdom, my honor and my blood, even the dust.” By sharing that she will stand by her people no matter what, her audience can clearly see how loyal Queen Elizabeth was and how much she loved her people. Queen Elizabeth’s tone and her affectionate word choice towards her people, gave her audience someone to trust during this scary and unknown time, which proves that she was a great leader overall.

After establishing a sense of trust, Queen Elizabeth now focuses on her power and shifts into a more urgent and patriotic tone in order to inspire her people and army to protect England with all they have. She acknowledges that she has “the body but of a weak and feeble woman” but she also highlights that she has the “heart and stomach of a king.” This imagery provokes her audience to see outside of her gender and more into how much she loves her people and how far she will go to protect them. She continues with a forceful tone, claiming that if any prince “should dare invade the borders of my realm”, she herself “will take up arms”. By revealing that she is one with them in this battle, Queen Elizabeth inspires her army to do the same. She ends her speech by claiming that “we shall shortly have a famous victory,” which identifies how confident she is that they will win. Queen Elizabeths powerful use of imagery and tone at the end of her speech, arouses the audience and gives them a sense of duty to England. She proves that she is a exemplary leader again when she successfully conveys that she is not just the queen of England, she is also a soldier for her country.

Queen Elizabeths passionate speech for her country demonstrated she was a great leader. During her time, it was men who dominated society, but she was the one who bought England into its Golden Age, not a man. She had to convince her country, that even as a woman, she was going to bring victory to England. She crafted her speech with passion and inspiration in order to convey that she loved her people and that she was ready to do anything to prevent the threat of the Europe Prince as well as provoke a sense of patriotism and trust. During this threat, Queen Elizabeth proved that she was a great leader, and because of that, England was able to rise.

Good thesis! I would maybe briefly mention rhetorical devices “Elizabeth successfully inspires her people using rhetorical devices…” to tie in to the prompt more specifically and “respond to it” persay. If your teacher told you to write it as you have written it here, then just keep writing as you have been  I think your reference of a tone shift and imagery coupled with strong analysis of Queen Elizabeth’s loyalty and inspiration of army contributes to a strong line of reasoning and therefore I think you earn four points on evidence & commentary. Make sure Queen Elizabeth's has an apostrophe 

Good job with the conclusion that brings in relevance of her rhetorical choices, something that I think you also tie in throughout the essay (“proves that she is a[n] exemplary leader again”). Fantastic 6 / 6 essay!

Short Essay Practice Submission 6

As a female ruler of the time, Queen Elizabeth I broke established societal rules for women and was able to successfully rule and protect England during difficult times. She united the nation through her speech and assured them they would be protected by their country. Through the use of anaphora and juxtaposition, Queen Elizabeth I was able to unite and grant confidence in England under her subjects.

The possessive pronoun “my”, takes responsibility for the actions and the influence of the speaker. Here, Queen Elizabeth I uses “my” repetitively in the same sentence as a form of anaphora. She says, “to lay down for my God, my kingdom, and my people, my honour and my blood.” As a ruler, these would be Queen Elizabeth I’s, yet the use of anaphora also emphasizes each of these things. Putting her kingdom and her people after God but before her honor and blood show that their safety is almost more important to God in her eyes and their harm would, therefore, affect her honor. She also may be implying that she is instilling the power and influence of God himself, as Queen Elizabeth I was Protestant. Through this, she can provide deeper confidence toward her subjects, showing she will protect them through God and her power no matter what, or else it will deeply transform her. Queen Elizabeth I was emphasizing personal responsibility as if her belongings and identities themselves had a responsibility in the protection of her subjects whom she needed to establish trust with. Queen Elizabeth I also uses anaphora with “my” when she concludes her speech, saying “of my God, of my kingdom, and of my people.” Queen Elizabeth I is ensuring to her subjects that through the influence of her identities and possessions, England and its subjects will be successful in the Spanish Armada as they eventually were. Again, repeating “my” emphasizes that she will put all she can towards defeating Spain and protecting her people and their religion. As Spain was trying to bring Catholicism, Queen Elizabeth I wanted to protect the Protestant church in England. This is also why she emphasizes God being hers, not the Catholic God, and the beliefs of the Catholic church. With many subjects also being Protestant, this would have been a strong appeal of support, which was Queen Elizabeth I’s ultimate goal of the speech. The use of “my” also separates herself from the “majestic plural” of “our” which would have also been used to refer to herself. This again places a deeper sense of personal responsibility onto Queen Elizabeth I. While “we” may seem simple, it ultimately can possess a significant load of power in its use.

A powerful statement made by Queen Elizabeth I was when she used juxtaposition when she compared herself to a king. She said, “I have the body but of a weak and feeble woman; but I have the heart and stomach of a king.” This quote is ironic yet true, as Queen Elizabeth I was able to successfully rule and protect England for 45 years. Here, Queen Elizabeth I compares women to kings in drastically different ways, yet can justify how they can work together towards success, like a ying-yang. Being a feeble woman allows her to have a peaceful, soft way about her while being king-like allows her to be a firm ruler and make potent decisions. This blend of the two extremes in one ruler allows her to be able to appeal to more subjects who will instill their trust in her. She also uses this to put down any unnecessary doubts established by society about her in charge as a woman to again gain their support and unite them to protect England. Queen Elizabeth I was able to be a just yet firm leader, allowing her to defeat Spain and protect the subjects of England, even as a woman.

Queen Elizabeth I had a strong influence over England, even as a female ruler over 400 years ago. Her power and control over her kingdom were met with her soft, feminine side, allowing her to take personal responsibility for her subjects and further unite them with support. Without Queen Elizabeth I, England may not have entered the Golden Age or had the influence in history it has.

Great job mentioning author’s purpose and rhetorical devices in the thesis. You earn the thesis point. Good job with noting anaphora and tying in relevance to religion! I think you do a great job of juxtaposition to show Queen Elizabeth’s complexities. Great job with historical context at the end. You have a great line of reasoning and an argument that flows very nicely with specific evidence and great commentary to supplement. Four points here in evidence & commentary.

You do a great job at tackling sophistication! You mention the significance/relevance of certain rhetorical choices such as the reference towards God and the complexities of that seemingly contradictory quote. Great 6/6 essay!

Short Essay Practice Submission 7

Before England’s Golden Age, it had successfully defeated the Spanish Armada under Queen Elizabeth I. Although she lived in a male-dominated society, she was able to prepare her countrymen for the attack of the Spanish Armada so that they were able to stop it before it reached the shore. In order to achieve this purpose of preparing the citizens of England for the possible invasion by the Spanish Armada, she wrote a speech to the land forces at Tilbury in which she creates a loving and optimistic tone as well as explains that she is as mentally and emotionally strong as a king even though she is a woman.

Elizabeth begins her speech by using friendly diction to create a loving tone. She addresses her audience with the phrase “my loving people.” This creates the feeling that they are all in one family that is supporting and taking care of each other. It also implies that Elizabeth wants everyone to unite and feel connected so that they can work together to defeat Spain. Her audience feels a sense of security which decreases any anxiety or fear that they might have regarding the threat of the attack. They realize that she is not a kind of a ruler that applies force to get people to obey her orders, but instead loves her countrymen dearly and speaks to them softly. By hearing this at the very beginning of her speech, her audience will feel more inclined to listen to her and follow her suggestions during the rest of the speech.

Elizabeth goes on to juxtaposing her feminine body and a “heart and stomach of a king.” This means that even though she is a woman, she has a manly personality and has the same feelings and thoughts as a king would. Through this contrast, she succeeds in alleviating her audience’s fears that she will not be a capable ruler due to the fact that she is a woman. This was extremely important for her audience to understand since they were living in a society where women were viewed as inferior and simple-minded compared to men. During the second half of the 16th century, many people thought that women were meant to do only domestic jobs like cooking and cleaning, and only men were capable of governing society. Women were discouraged from expressing their opinions about their husband’s responsibilities like politics and getting a solid education. By admitting that she has a body “of a weak and feeble woman,” she acknowledges this view of women shared by her audience. However, she tries to indicate that she is a special instance and should not be considered the same as other women. Therefore, her land forces her to trust and follow her orders as if they had come from a king.

In 1558, Queen Elizabeth I wrote a letter to her land forces at Tilbury regarding the threat of the Spanish Armada. She proceeded to explain that it is her honorable duty to serve everyone in England. She does this by creating a loving tone right from the beginning of her speech and emphasizing that she is as capable as a king of England. She reminds us that love and support for each other triumphs above the weaknesses of a woman.

Good job mentioning the purpose and mentioning tone as a literary device - I think you aren’t restating the prompt here so as a result you get the thesis point 

In terms of evidence & commentary, I think your reference to diction and tone here is great analysis - it’s very specific and also ties in to your commentary about decreasing anxiety. Moreover, your contextual application of the 16th century and women here is useful and definitely brings in a more in-depth area of analysis. I think your argument about trust is valid. Four points for evidence & commentary.

You did great with SOC!! I think you would earn sophistication in this instance, although it wouldn’t hurt to also maybe tie in her role as a woman in the first body paragraph although that’s not required. Great 6/6 essay.

Short Essay Practice Submission 8

Queen Elizabeth I was a strong female leader, the first of her kind in England. When her country went to war, many citizens were hesitant that a woman could bring the, then all-powerful, country the victory and guide them just as well as a male counterpart. In her speech to the commonfolk, Queen Elizabeth I uses impactful diction/syntax and metaphors throughout in an effort to convince her audience of her dedication to her people and to convince them of her own qualifications.

Queen Elizabeth I first opens by laying out the situation to her pupils. By using intense word choices and impactful images, she “assure[s]” them that “in the midst and heat of the battle,” she will “live and die amongst you all.” She uses this intense moment of climax, perhaps full of fear, to steer the citizen’s attention toward her own devotion to the war effort. By using such intense word usage, she is able to better hit home her point that despite a dreadful sitaution, she will not waver in the time of fear. The people will best respond to such a confident leader, and Elizabeth hopes that these tactics will instill confidence in themselves as well. She closes with another impactful statement that “by your obedience to my general, by your concord in the camp, and your valor in the field, we shall shortly have a famous victory.” The Queen uses the repetitive sentence structure and parallelism exemplified here throughout her speech to best grasp the attention of her audience and builds their attention to the final point of her statement, in this case, a most famous victory. This directs her people away from the opening remarks of “treachery” and towards the ultimate win, all along the way attempting to boost the troops’ confidence.

Often in the wild, to make themselves appear more intimidating, animals will create an image or make themselves appear larger. Queen Elizabeth I uses this exact tactic in her own speech. By using metaphors for herself, she conveys herself to the people as a most powerful jack of all trades, creating a sense of security in her own image. First, she addresses that despite having “the body but of a weak and feeble woman”, she has “the heart and stomach of a king, and of a king of England too.” She reassures the people that even though she may be a female, she knows what is expected of her and she insists she is able to withstand the pressures and responsibilities the title holds. She even uses this sentiment to uplift her mother country, implying that the King of England is not like that of any common King. Elizabeth places herself atop of her throne and creates an air of royalty to her people in this metaphor allowing the people to place trust in her words and actions, and encouraging them towards victory. She further promotes herself when she states that “I myself will be your general, judge, and rewarder of every one of your virtues in the field.” This shows the people that the Queen understands that her role is beyond that of a title, a figurehead. She will rise to the occasion and bring to them a required responsibility of all of these well-respected titles. By using this metaphor, Queen Elizabeth I instills a sense of purpose in herself and will to fight in those listening to her. Without her insistence of everyone’s role and her own ability to fulfill all these she lists, the people are discouraged and frankly, unconvinced of her and their own all-encompassing power.

To hit home her dedication to her country and her belief in her people, Queen Elizabeth goes as far as to join her people in their square. To initially create her sense of power, dressed in armor, Queen Elizabeth delivers a most awe-inspiring speech filled with impactful diction, climactic parallelism, and metaphors creating qualifying images of herself and the troops in an effort to inspire them and instill a level of confidence in all for themselves and England. Without such a historical speech, the people of England may not have been motivated to fight for a “feeble” Queen and may not have had confidence in their own recently endangered country. With her wise words, the troops go forth with a sense of importance and newfound appreciation for thier ruler.

Love the thesis with references to rhetorical devices and a purpose. You earn the thesis point. I love the specific evidence that is incorporated in your evidence & commentary. You bring in a great argument about how Queen Elizabeth instills a sense of purpose in herself and rises to the occasion. You earn all four points in evidence & commentary in my opinion. In terms of sophistication, this is a bit harder line to draw. I don’t necessarily think that you talk about the  relevance or significance  of rhetorical choices. You reference to complexities is not really pursued (comparing the body of a week/feeble woman + heart/stomach of king). Thus, you end with a 5/6! Great job.

Short Essay Practice Submission 9

During times of predicaments, the leaders’ abilities are truly tested. And their failure or success could be the difference between the countries’ triumph and annihilation. In 1588, England’s fate lay in peril as the threat of Spanish Armada’s invasion seemed inevitable. And the leader of this male dominated nation in crisis was a woman: Queen Elizabeth I. In her address to Tilbury land forces, Queen Elizabeth proved to be an effective leader that could not only lead the nation but also transcend any gender barriers that existed at the time. By appealing to national identity and by refuting the notion that her sex will hinder her ability to lead, Queen Elizabeth implores the land forces at Tilbury to unite under her leadership to defeat the Spanish. Doing so encourages the Tilbury land forces, who are all men, to follow Queen Elizabeth’s leadership, even if she is a woman, for the good of England.

Queen Elizabeth commences her address about the need to unite in the time of crisis by appealing to the national identity, specifically noting her reliance on her subjects, as she placed her “chiefest strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts” of her subjects. Given that Queen Elizabeth, a noble, is addressing soldiers, who are common men, at Tilbury, her appeal to national identity remains particularly poignant as it reveals that that despite her title, Queen Elizabeth needs the help of her subjects in order to persevere through this national crisis. And by doing so, Queen Elizabeth makes herself more relatable to the soldiers as they begin to view the queen as just another concerned individual who is fighting for England. Having thoroughly established her argument that she needs the help of her subjects, Queen Elizabeth furthers her appeal to national identity by emphasizing her readiness to “live and die amongst” the soldiers and fight for her “God”, her “kingdom”, and her “people”. And by doing so, Elizabeth further breaks down the notion that she will sit idly by and let the commons do the dirty work. Which in turn, enhances her credibility to the soldiers, who are common men, who now recognizes Queen Elizabeth is a leader who is willing to lead from the frontlines. Therefore, it is imperative for each member of the Tilbury land forces to do their part and unite under Queen Elizabeth to fight for their homeland.

Queen Elizabeth continues to convey her ability to lead England during this time of crisis by refuting the notion that her sex will hinder her ability to lead, particularly emphasizing that she may have a body of “a weak and feeble women”, but she has the “heart and stomach of a king”. Given that Queen Elizabeth is a woman addressing a group of men during a time of patriarchy, this dichotomy proves potent in challenging any unspoken reservations about her ability to lead due to her gender. Queen Elizabeth furthers breaks down the notion of her sex being a hinderance in her leadership by saying “I myself will take up arms, I myself will be your general, judge…” And by repeating the phrase “I myself” in front of actions and positions that are synonymous with masculinity and matriarchy, Queen Elizabeth skillfully demonstrates that she will take it upon herself to move past gender stereotypes and crown herself to assume positions that are held by men for the good of England. Which in turn, will force the land forces at Tilbury, who are all men, to view Queen Elizabeth not as a “weak and feeble women”, but as a “king” who will protect her “God”, her “kingdom”, and her “people”.

Great thesis statement and introduction paragraph that brought in context. I think your evidence and commentary is strong, as you talk about how Queen Elizabeth has made herself “more relatable” and how it convined the Tilbury land forces to unite. Your commentary and line of reasoning is strong throughout the two body paragraphs, and thus I give you four points on evidence & commentary. Moreover, your analysis of the masculine vs feminine conflict is very in-depth and earns you the sophistication point here in my opinion. Great 6/6 essay!

Short Essay Practice Submission 10

Queen Elizabeth I, under imminent threat of invasion by the Spanish Armada, makes a speech to her army and through the use of rhetorical strategies aims to inspire faith in her as their leader in order to rally her forces to fight against the Spanish.

Throughout her speech Queen Elizabeth emphasizes her god given right to be queen. She states “I have always so behaved myself that, under God,” she has made her decision. That she enters this battle to “lay down for my God,” and assures that their army will have victory “over those enemies of my God.” Her repeated allusions to God serve as a reminder to the soldiers that as a British monarch she has a god given right to rule and lead her people. She utilizes these reminder of her divinity in order to build the army’s trust in her and their faith in her decisions.

Queen Elizabeth moves to connect herself with her soldiers and emphasizes that she is on the field fighting with them. She appeals to the camaraderie of her forces by explaining that she has “come amongst you all” to “live and die amongst you all,” and that she “will take up arms, I myself will be your general.” She emphasizes her involvement in the battle in order to appeal to ethos and allow her soldiers to trust her by going far enough to join them in their fight. This works to inspire the soldier’s faith in her as their leader as they understand she believes in their cause so much as to join them in the fight. She continues this appeal to camaraderie through the use of the first person. She begins almost every clause with the word “I”, she says “I have always behaved myself”, “I know already,” “I have the heart ad stomach of a king” and many more instances of using the word “I”. She is emphasizing that all her decisions are her own and she truly believes in their cause, she is combating the image of an aloof monarch with no stake in her people. Her display in faith to her military works to build on the soldier’s trust in her.

As a female queen in the 16th century, Queen Elizabeth faced a lot of doubt in her ability to be a strong leader and make good decisions for the prosperity of her people due to the misogynistic and patriarchal ideals in society at the time. On this day in 1588 on the fields of Tilbury, it was vital that the queen convince her soldiers of her strength as their leader and that the her decisions that brought them to this battle were for the the good of England, so that her soldier might fight valiantly and they will defeat the Spanish.

Good job with the thesis point - very straightforward with mention of rhetorical devices and author’s purpose; this is how I wrote my thesis  In terms of evidence & commentary, your reference/argument about God is very intriguing and the god-given right argument is great context that demonstrates significance. Moreover, I think your argument about seeming relatable is very strong with the mention of I. Thus, you earn all four evidence & commentary points. In terms of sophistication, I think you do earn it because you expound about the relevance of God and mention the significance of the time period. Great 6/6 essay!

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Developing a Thesis Statement

Many papers you write require developing a thesis statement. In this section you’ll learn what a thesis statement is and how to write one.

Keep in mind that not all papers require thesis statements . If in doubt, please consult your instructor for assistance.

What is a thesis statement?

A thesis statement . . .

• Makes an argumentative assertion about a topic; it states the conclusions that you have reached about your topic.
• Makes a promise to the reader about the scope, purpose, and direction of your paper.
• Is focused and specific enough to be “proven” within the boundaries of your paper.
• Is generally located near the end of the introduction ; sometimes, in a long paper, the thesis will be expressed in several sentences or in an entire paragraph.
• Identifies the relationships between the pieces of evidence that you are using to support your argument.

Not all papers require thesis statements! Ask your instructor if you’re in doubt whether you need one.

Identify a topic

Your topic is the subject about which you will write. Your assignment may suggest several ways of looking at a topic; or it may name a fairly general concept that you will explore or analyze in your paper.

Consider what your assignment asks you to do

Inform yourself about your topic, focus on one aspect of your topic, ask yourself whether your topic is worthy of your efforts, generate a topic from an assignment.

Below are some possible topics based on sample assignments.

Sample assignment 1

Analyze Spain’s neutrality in World War II.

Identified topic

Franco’s role in the diplomatic relationships between the Allies and the Axis

This topic avoids generalities such as “Spain” and “World War II,” addressing instead on Franco’s role (a specific aspect of “Spain”) and the diplomatic relations between the Allies and Axis (a specific aspect of World War II).

Sample assignment 2

Analyze one of Homer’s epic similes in the Iliad.

The relationship between the portrayal of warfare and the epic simile about Simoisius at 4.547-64.

This topic focuses on a single simile and relates it to a single aspect of the Iliad ( warfare being a major theme in that work).

Developing a Thesis Statement–Additional information

Your assignment may suggest several ways of looking at a topic, or it may name a fairly general concept that you will explore or analyze in your paper. You’ll want to read your assignment carefully, looking for key terms that you can use to focus your topic.

Sample assignment: Analyze Spain’s neutrality in World War II Key terms: analyze, Spain’s neutrality, World War II

After you’ve identified the key words in your topic, the next step is to read about them in several sources, or generate as much information as possible through an analysis of your topic. Obviously, the more material or knowledge you have, the more possibilities will be available for a strong argument. For the sample assignment above, you’ll want to look at books and articles on World War II in general, and Spain’s neutrality in particular.

As you consider your options, you must decide to focus on one aspect of your topic. This means that you cannot include everything you’ve learned about your topic, nor should you go off in several directions. If you end up covering too many different aspects of a topic, your paper will sprawl and be unconvincing in its argument, and it most likely will not fulfull the assignment requirements.

For the sample assignment above, both Spain’s neutrality and World War II are topics far too broad to explore in a paper. You may instead decide to focus on Franco’s role in the diplomatic relationships between the Allies and the Axis , which narrows down what aspects of Spain’s neutrality and World War II you want to discuss, as well as establishes a specific link between those two aspects.

Before you go too far, however, ask yourself whether your topic is worthy of your efforts. Try to avoid topics that already have too much written about them (i.e., “eating disorders and body image among adolescent women”) or that simply are not important (i.e. “why I like ice cream”). These topics may lead to a thesis that is either dry fact or a weird claim that cannot be supported. A good thesis falls somewhere between the two extremes. To arrive at this point, ask yourself what is new, interesting, contestable, or controversial about your topic.

As you work on your thesis, remember to keep the rest of your paper in mind at all times . Sometimes your thesis needs to evolve as you develop new insights, find new evidence, or take a different approach to your topic.

Derive a main point from topic

Once you have a topic, you will have to decide what the main point of your paper will be. This point, the “controlling idea,” becomes the core of your argument (thesis statement) and it is the unifying idea to which you will relate all your sub-theses. You can then turn this “controlling idea” into a purpose statement about what you intend to do in your paper.

Look for patterns in your evidence

Compose a purpose statement.

Consult the examples below for suggestions on how to look for patterns in your evidence and construct a purpose statement.

• Franco first tried to negotiate with the Axis
• Franco turned to the Allies when he couldn’t get some concessions that he wanted from the Axis

Possible conclusion:

Spain’s neutrality in WWII occurred for an entirely personal reason: Franco’s desire to preserve his own (and Spain’s) power.

Purpose statement

This paper will analyze Franco’s diplomacy during World War II to see how it contributed to Spain’s neutrality.

• The simile compares Simoisius to a tree, which is a peaceful, natural image.
• The tree in the simile is chopped down to make wheels for a chariot, which is an object used in warfare.

At first, the simile seems to take the reader away from the world of warfare, but we end up back in that world by the end.

This paper will analyze the way the simile about Simoisius at 4.547-64 moves in and out of the world of warfare.

Derive purpose statement from topic

To find out what your “controlling idea” is, you have to examine and evaluate your evidence . As you consider your evidence, you may notice patterns emerging, data repeated in more than one source, or facts that favor one view more than another. These patterns or data may then lead you to some conclusions about your topic and suggest that you can successfully argue for one idea better than another.

For instance, you might find out that Franco first tried to negotiate with the Axis, but when he couldn’t get some concessions that he wanted from them, he turned to the Allies. As you read more about Franco’s decisions, you may conclude that Spain’s neutrality in WWII occurred for an entirely personal reason: his desire to preserve his own (and Spain’s) power. Based on this conclusion, you can then write a trial thesis statement to help you decide what material belongs in your paper.

Sometimes you won’t be able to find a focus or identify your “spin” or specific argument immediately. Like some writers, you might begin with a purpose statement just to get yourself going. A purpose statement is one or more sentences that announce your topic and indicate the structure of the paper but do not state the conclusions you have drawn . Thus, you might begin with something like this:

• This paper will look at modern language to see if it reflects male dominance or female oppression.
• I plan to analyze anger and derision in offensive language to see if they represent a challenge of society’s authority.

At some point, you can turn a purpose statement into a thesis statement. As you think and write about your topic, you can restrict, clarify, and refine your argument, crafting your thesis statement to reflect your thinking.

As you work on your thesis, remember to keep the rest of your paper in mind at all times. Sometimes your thesis needs to evolve as you develop new insights, find new evidence, or take a different approach to your topic.

Compose a draft thesis statement

If you are writing a paper that will have an argumentative thesis and are having trouble getting started, the techniques in the table below may help you develop a temporary or “working” thesis statement.

Begin with a purpose statement that you will later turn into a thesis statement.

Assignment: Discuss the history of the Reform Party and explain its influence on the 1990 presidential and Congressional election.

Purpose Statement: This paper briefly sketches the history of the grassroots, conservative, Perot-led Reform Party and analyzes how it influenced the economic and social ideologies of the two mainstream parties.

Question-to-Assertion

If your assignment asks a specific question(s), turn the question(s) into an assertion and give reasons why it is true or reasons for your opinion.

Assignment : What do Aylmer and Rappaccini have to be proud of? Why aren’t they satisfied with these things? How does pride, as demonstrated in “The Birthmark” and “Rappaccini’s Daughter,” lead to unexpected problems?

Beginning thesis statement: Alymer and Rappaccinni are proud of their great knowledge; however, they are also very greedy and are driven to use their knowledge to alter some aspect of nature as a test of their ability. Evil results when they try to “play God.”

Write a sentence that summarizes the main idea of the essay you plan to write.

Main idea: The reason some toys succeed in the market is that they appeal to the consumers’ sense of the ridiculous and their basic desire to laugh at themselves.

Make a list of the ideas that you want to include; consider the ideas and try to group them.

• nature = peaceful
• war matériel = violent (competes with 1?)
• need for time and space to mourn the dead
• war is inescapable (competes with 3?)

Use a formula to arrive at a working thesis statement (you will revise this later).

• although most readers of _______ have argued that _______, closer examination shows that _______.
• _______ uses _______ and _____ to prove that ________.
• phenomenon x is a result of the combination of __________, __________, and _________.

What to keep in mind as you draft an initial thesis statement

Beginning statements obtained through the methods illustrated above can serve as a framework for planning or drafting your paper, but remember they’re not yet the specific, argumentative thesis you want for the final version of your paper. In fact, in its first stages, a thesis statement usually is ill-formed or rough and serves only as a planning tool.

As you write, you may discover evidence that does not fit your temporary or “working” thesis. Or you may reach deeper insights about your topic as you do more research, and you will find that your thesis statement has to be more complicated to match the evidence that you want to use.

You must be willing to reject or omit some evidence in order to keep your paper cohesive and your reader focused. Or you may have to revise your thesis to match the evidence and insights that you want to discuss. Read your draft carefully, noting the conclusions you have drawn and the major ideas which support or prove those conclusions. These will be the elements of your final thesis statement.

Sometimes you will not be able to identify these elements in your early drafts, but as you consider how your argument is developing and how your evidence supports your main idea, ask yourself, “ What is the main point that I want to prove/discuss? ” and “ How will I convince the reader that this is true? ” When you can answer these questions, then you can begin to refine the thesis statement.

Refine and polish the thesis statement

To get to your final thesis, you’ll need to refine your draft thesis so that it’s specific and arguable.

• Ask if your draft thesis addresses the assignment
• Question each part of your draft thesis
• Clarify vague phrases and assertions
• Investigate alternatives to your draft thesis

Consult the example below for suggestions on how to refine your draft thesis statement.

Sample Assignment

Choose an activity and define it as a symbol of American culture. Your essay should cause the reader to think critically about the society which produces and enjoys that activity.

• Ask The phenomenon of drive-in facilities is an interesting symbol of american culture, and these facilities demonstrate significant characteristics of our society.This statement does not fulfill the assignment because it does not require the reader to think critically about society.

Drive-ins are an interesting symbol of American culture because they represent Americans’ significant creativity and business ingenuity.

Among the types of drive-in facilities familiar during the twentieth century, drive-in movie theaters best represent American creativity, not merely because they were the forerunner of later drive-ins and drive-throughs, but because of their impact on our culture: they changed our relationship to the automobile, changed the way people experienced movies, and changed movie-going into a family activity.

While drive-in facilities such as those at fast-food establishments, banks, pharmacies, and dry cleaners symbolize America’s economic ingenuity, they also have affected our personal standards.

While drive-in facilities such as those at fast- food restaurants, banks, pharmacies, and dry cleaners symbolize (1) Americans’ business ingenuity, they also have contributed (2) to an increasing homogenization of our culture, (3) a willingness to depersonalize relationships with others, and (4) a tendency to sacrifice quality for convenience.

This statement is now specific and fulfills all parts of the assignment. This version, like any good thesis, is not self-evident; its points, 1-4, will have to be proven with evidence in the body of the paper. The numbers in this statement indicate the order in which the points will be presented. Depending on the length of the paper, there could be one paragraph for each numbered item or there could be blocks of paragraph for even pages for each one.

Complete the final thesis statement

The bottom line.

As you move through the process of crafting a thesis, you’ll need to remember four things:

• Context matters! Think about your course materials and lectures. Try to relate your thesis to the ideas your instructor is discussing.
• As you go through the process described in this section, always keep your assignment in mind . You will be more successful when your thesis (and paper) responds to the assignment than if it argues a semi-related idea.
• Your thesis statement should be precise, focused, and contestable ; it should predict the sub-theses or blocks of information that you will use to prove your argument.
• Make sure that you keep the rest of your paper in mind at all times. Change your thesis as your paper evolves, because you do not want your thesis to promise more than your paper actually delivers.

In the beginning, the thesis statement was a tool to help you sharpen your focus, limit material and establish the paper’s purpose. When your paper is finished, however, the thesis statement becomes a tool for your reader. It tells the reader what you have learned about your topic and what evidence led you to your conclusion. It keeps the reader on track–well able to understand and appreciate your argument.

Writing Process and Structure

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Getting Started with Your Paper

Interpreting Writing Assignments from Your Courses

Generating Ideas for

Creating an Argument

Thesis vs. Purpose Statements

Architecture of Arguments

Working with Sources

Quoting and Paraphrasing Sources

Using Literary Quotations

Citing Sources in Your Paper

Drafting Your Paper

Generating Ideas for Your Paper

Introductions

Paragraphing

Developing Strategic Transitions

Conclusions

Revising Your Paper

Peer Reviews

Reverse Outlines

Revising an Argumentative Paper

Revision Strategies for Longer Projects

Finishing Your Paper

Twelve Common Errors: An Editing Checklist

How to Proofread your Paper

Writing Collaboratively

Collaborative and Group Writing

• Thesis Formulation
• Understanding the Assignment
• Need a Topic?
• Evaluating Sources
• Brainstorming Strategies
• Drafting Strategies

Formulating a Thesis

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Introduction

In an argumentative paper, your thesis statement expresses what it is that you want to prove and, ultimately, what you will support with the main arguments in your body paragraphs. Any good thesis statement will:

• have a clearly established topic ,
• make a claim that answers a question about that topic,
• have a reason that supports the claim, and
• be specific .

The general model of your thesis statement will look something like this:

Deciding on a Topic

Ideally, you should write about something that you care about or at least that you have an opinion about. But let’s be honest, we don’t find interest in every subject we come across. If you find yourself in this situation, pick a topic that is controversial ; that people don’t see eye to eye on. Picking a topic like this means that you will grab the reader’s attention and establish a clear sense of direction.

Formulating the Question

For argumentative papers, your thesis statement should be an assertive proposition; somebody should be able to either agree or disagree with it. One way to ensure that you’ll come out with an assertive thesis statement is to ask yourself a “yes” or “no” question about your topic.

Answering the Question

Now that you’ve formulated the question, you have to take a side. If you already feel strongly about something, run with it. If you don’t feel particularly compelled to either side of an argument, don’t worry. You should take some comfort knowing that because there is often times a lot of grey area, there are a lot of interesting points that can be made for either side. If you run into this problem, take a chance and see where it takes you . After answering “yes” or “no” you need to shape your response into a claim and then support it with a reason .

Specificity

Teachers will tell you that your thesis statement needs to be specific but this is a very subjective and sometimes unhelpful instruction. And so because it’s not altogether easy to define, perhaps the better question is, “How do I make my thesis specific?” To a large extent, making your thesis specific will depend upon how much reading and studying you’ve done on the topic. The more you read and understand the subject matter, the more precise and detailed questions you’ll be capable of asking.

Nonetheless, it’s important that you consult your professor or a tutor on this. Sometimes, we may feel that our subject is adequately narrow but a second set of eyes will help to sheer away some of the excess. Don’t be ashamed of asking for help and don’t be afraid of rejecting your old ideas for new ones. In the end, you’ll find that working in dialogue with others can really improve your writing skills.

Let’s say you’re taking a psychology class and you decide to write on the subject of Freud. Let’s go through the steps.

• Decide on a topic – Freud as an individual, of course, is much too broad of a topic and not controversial so maybe we could pick one of his ideas, like his theory of the unconscious .
• Formulate a question – Freud’s theory about the unconscious is a subject of great controversy in the field of psychology. Many believe that the idea of repression tied up with the notion of the unconscious fails to account for mental illness as Freud thought it did. Thus, the unconscious’s relation to mental illness is something we can formulate into a question: Does the unconscious adequately account for mental illness?
• Answer the Question – In our research, we may find ultimately that we agree with Freud’s detractors. Some would say that Freud’s theory doesn’t adequately account for mental illness because it fails to take into account that some conditions are not caused by repression of the unconscious but by chemical imbalances in the brain. So ultimately, we will answer “no,” to our question. And, as stated above, when we answer the question, we don’t want to return with just a “yes” or “no” but to provide the sense in which we’re disagreeing (i.e. Freud’s theory fails in accounting for mental illness) and then providing a reason (i.e. because it fails to account for biologically based mental illnesses). Put all together: No, Freud’s theory fails in accounting for mental illness because it doesn’t account for conditions that have a biological basis.

Now we have all the raw materials for our thesis statement. If I use the structure at the beginning and piece everything together (topic, claim, reason), I get the following:

Freud’s theory of the unconscious is inadequate in accounting for mental illness because it fails to account for conditions that are of a strictly biological origin.

Now, we have a thesis! Of course, you don’t have to stop there. You may find in more reading and studying that you want to make your statement even more specific. Writing is a process and one that isn’t always linear (in fact, it rarely is). This means that you’ll probably go back to redefine your thesis statement a few times and that’s okay! Best of luck!

Examples Often times, it’s difficult to take abstract directions and strategies such as those listed above and apply them to your specific subject area. For that reason, we’ve provided a series of sample thesis statements showing how these strategies can be applied at a more specific level.

Art History Panofsky and his followers’ interpretation of van Eyck’s double portrait is a misunderstanding of the overall artistic intent of the piece. The painting is not a celebration of the sacrament of marriage but rather that of an alliance between two rich and important Italian merchant families with all the financial and social benefits that might be expected to accrue therefrom. (Edwin Hall)

Film Ridley Scott’s film  Blade Runner  cannot be labeled science fiction because the designation fails to consider the full scope of the film’s structure and style as postmodern film noir. (Online)

History The Russian Revolution of 1917 cannot be labeled an authentic Marxist revolution. Despite widespread worker discontent, the organization of the revolution by Lenin’s “vanguard” was premature, foregoing the development of working class consciousness, an essential step in Marx’s overthrow of the bourgeoisie.

Philosophy Immanuel Kant’s idea of the categorical imperative is inadequate as an ethical theory insofar as it only accounts for an individual’s intentions behind their actions, not the lived consequences of the actions themselves.

Theology The U.S. Supreme Court’s decision in Employment Division v. Smith is a dangerous precedent in the state’s attitude toward religious practice. In denying the defendants their unemployment benefits by virtue of their ceremonial ingestion of peyote, they emaciate the value of religious freedom, strictly confining it to the private sphere. (Thomas Powers)

• Thesis Formulation (Printable)
• Stasis Questions (Printable)
• Purdue's Guide to Thesis Statements
• UNC-Chapel Hill Intro to Library Research Consists of a series of self-paced instructional modules designed to introduce students to important research concepts and to guide them in the use of the UNC Libraries.

After reading the above information on outlining, attempt the writing activity below for further practice. 

• Writing Activity: Formulating a Thesis
• Thesis Formulation Writing Activity Answers
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• How to Write a Thesis Statement | 4 Steps & Examples

How to Write a Thesis Statement | 4 Steps & Examples

Published on January 11, 2019 by Shona McCombes . Revised on August 15, 2023 by Eoghan Ryan.

A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . It usually comes near the end of your introduction .

Your thesis will look a bit different depending on the type of essay you’re writing. But the thesis statement should always clearly state the main idea you want to get across. Everything else in your essay should relate back to this idea.

You can write your thesis statement by following four simple steps:

• Start with a question
• Write your initial answer
• Develop your answer
• Refine your thesis statement

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Table of contents

What is a thesis statement, placement of the thesis statement, step 1: start with a question, step 2: write your initial answer, step 3: develop your answer, step 4: refine your thesis statement, types of thesis statements, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about thesis statements.

A thesis statement summarizes the central points of your essay. It is a signpost telling the reader what the essay will argue and why.

The best thesis statements are:

• Concise: A good thesis statement is short and sweet—don’t use more words than necessary. State your point clearly and directly in one or two sentences.
• Contentious: Your thesis shouldn’t be a simple statement of fact that everyone already knows. A good thesis statement is a claim that requires further evidence or analysis to back it up.
• Coherent: Everything mentioned in your thesis statement must be supported and explained in the rest of your paper.

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The thesis statement generally appears at the end of your essay introduction or research paper introduction .

The spread of the internet has had a world-changing effect, not least on the world of education. The use of the internet in academic contexts and among young people more generally is hotly debated. For many who did not grow up with this technology, its effects seem alarming and potentially harmful. This concern, while understandable, is misguided. The negatives of internet use are outweighed by its many benefits for education: the internet facilitates easier access to information, exposure to different perspectives, and a flexible learning environment for both students and teachers.

You should come up with an initial thesis, sometimes called a working thesis , early in the writing process . As soon as you’ve decided on your essay topic , you need to work out what you want to say about it—a clear thesis will give your essay direction and structure.

You might already have a question in your assignment, but if not, try to come up with your own. What would you like to find out or decide about your topic?

For example, you might ask:

After some initial research, you can formulate a tentative answer to this question. At this stage it can be simple, and it should guide the research process and writing process .

Now you need to consider why this is your answer and how you will convince your reader to agree with you. As you read more about your topic and begin writing, your answer should get more detailed.

In your essay about the internet and education, the thesis states your position and sketches out the key arguments you’ll use to support it.

The negatives of internet use are outweighed by its many benefits for education because it facilitates easier access to information.

In your essay about braille, the thesis statement summarizes the key historical development that you’ll explain.

The invention of braille in the 19th century transformed the lives of blind people, allowing them to participate more actively in public life.

A strong thesis statement should tell the reader:

• Why you hold this position
• What they’ll learn from your essay
• The key points of your argument or narrative

The final thesis statement doesn’t just state your position, but summarizes your overall argument or the entire topic you’re going to explain. To strengthen a weak thesis statement, it can help to consider the broader context of your topic.

These examples are more specific and show that you’ll explore your topic in depth.

Your thesis statement should match the goals of your essay, which vary depending on the type of essay you’re writing:

• In an argumentative essay , your thesis statement should take a strong position. Your aim in the essay is to convince your reader of this thesis based on evidence and logical reasoning.
• In an expository essay , you’ll aim to explain the facts of a topic or process. Your thesis statement doesn’t have to include a strong opinion in this case, but it should clearly state the central point you want to make, and mention the key elements you’ll explain.

If you want to know more about AI tools , college essays , or fallacies make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples or go directly to our tools!

• Ad hominem fallacy
• Post hoc fallacy
• Appeal to authority fallacy
• False cause fallacy
• Sunk cost fallacy

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A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . Everything else you write should relate to this key idea.

The thesis statement is essential in any academic essay or research paper for two main reasons:

• It gives your writing direction and focus.
• It gives the reader a concise summary of your main point.

Without a clear thesis statement, an essay can end up rambling and unfocused, leaving your reader unsure of exactly what you want to say.

Follow these four steps to come up with a thesis statement :

• Ask a question about your topic .
• Write your initial answer.
• Develop your answer by including reasons.
• Refine your answer, adding more detail and nuance.

The thesis statement should be placed at the end of your essay introduction .

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8.3: Literary Thesis Statements

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• Heather Ringo & Athena Kashyap
• City College of San Francisco via ASCCC Open Educational Resources Initiative

The Literary Thesis Statement

Literary essays are argumentative or persuasive essays. Their purpose is primarily analysis, but analysis for the purposes of showing readers your interpretation of a literary text. So the thesis statement is a one to two sentence summary of your essay's main argument, or interpretation.

Just like in other argumentative essays, the thesis statement should be a kind of opinion based on observable fact about the literary work.

Thesis Statements Should Be

• This thesis takes a position. There are clearly those who could argue against this idea.
• Look at the text in bold. See the strong emphasis on how form (literary devices like symbolism and character) acts as a foundation for the interpretation (perceived danger of female sexuality).
• Through this specific yet concise sentence, readers can anticipate the text to be examined ( Huckleberry Finn) , the author (Mark Twain), the literary device that will be focused upon (river and shore scenes) and what these scenes will show (true expression of American ideals can be found in nature).

Thesis Statements Should NOT Be

• While we know what text and author will be the focus of the essay, we know nothing about what aspect of the essay the author will be focusing upon, nor is there an argument here.
• This may be well and true, but this thesis does not appear to be about a work of literature. This could be turned into a thesis statement if the writer is able to show how this is the theme of a literary work (like "Girl" by Jamaica Kincaid) and root that interpretation in observable data from the story in the form of literary devices.
• Yes, this is true. But it is not debatable. You would be hard-pressed to find someone who could argue with this statement. Yawn, boring.
• This may very well be true. But the purpose of a literary critic is not to judge the quality of a literary work, but to make analyses and interpretations of the work based on observable structural aspects of that work.
• Again, this might be true, and might make an interesting essay topic, but unless it is rooted in textual analysis, it is not within the scope of a literary analysis essay. Be careful not to conflate author and speaker! Author, speaker, and narrator are all different entities! See: intentional fallacy.

Thesis Statement Formula

One way I find helpful to explain literary thesis statements is through a "formula":

Thesis statement = Observation + Analysis + Significance

• Observation: usually regarding the form or structure of the literature. This can be a pattern, like recurring literary devices. For example, "I noticed the poems of Rumi, Hafiz, and Kabir all use symbols such as the lover's longing and Tavern of Ruin "
• Analysis: You could also call this an opinion. This explains what you think your observations show or mean. "I think these recurring symbols all represent the human soul's desire." This is where your debatable argument appears.
• Significance: this explains what the significance or relevance of the interpretation might be. Human soul's desire to do what? Why should readers care that they represent the human soul's desire? "I think these recurring symbols all show the human soul's desire to connect with God. " This is where your argument gets more specific.

Thesis statement: The works of ecstatic love poets Rumi, Hafiz, and Kabir use symbols such as a lover’s longing and the Tavern of Ruin to illustrate the human soul’s desire to connect with God .

Thesis Examples

SAMPLE THESIS STATEMENTS

These sample thesis statements are provided as guides, not as required forms or prescriptions.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The Literary Device Thesis Statement

The thesis may focus on an analysis of one of the elements of fiction, drama, poetry or nonfiction as expressed in the work: character, plot, structure, idea, theme, symbol, style, imagery, tone, etc.

In “A Worn Path,” Eudora Welty creates a fictional character in Phoenix Jackson whose determination, faith, and cunning illustrate the indomitable human spirit.

Note that the work, author, and character to be analyzed are identified in this thesis statement. The thesis relies on a strong verb (creates). It also identifies the element of fiction that the writer will explore (character) and the characteristics the writer will analyze and discuss (determination, faith, cunning).

The character of the Nurse in Romeo and Juliet serves as a foil to young Juliet, delights us with her warmth and earthy wit, and helps realize the tragic catastrophe.

The Genre / Theory Thesis Statement

The thesis may focus on illustrating how a work reflects the particular genre’s forms, the characteristics of a philosophy of literature, or the ideas of a particular school of thought.

“The Third and Final Continent” exhibits characteristics recurrent in writings by immigrants: tradition, adaptation, and identity.

Note how the thesis statement classifies the form of the work (writings by immigrants) and identifies the characteristics of that form of writing (tradition, adaptation, and identity) that the essay will discuss.

Samuel Beckett’s Endgame reflects characteristics of Theatre of the Absurd in its minimalist stage setting, its seemingly meaningless dialogue, and its apocalyptic or nihilist vision.

A close look at many details in “The Story of an Hour” reveals how language, institutions, and expected demeanor suppress the natural desires and aspirations of women.

Generative Questions

One way to come up with a riveting thesis statement is to start with a generative question. The question should be open-ended and, hopefully, prompt some kind of debate.

• What is the effect of [choose a literary device that features prominently in the chosen text] in this work of literature?
• How does this work of literature conform or resist its genre, and to what effect?
• How does this work of literature portray the environment, and to what effect?
• How does this work of literature portray race, and to what effect?
• How does this work of literature portray gender, and to what effect?
• What historical context is this work of literature engaging with, and how might it function as a commentary on this context?

These are just a few common of the common kinds of questions literary scholars engage with. As you write, you will want to refine your question to be even more specific. Eventually, you can turn your generative question into a statement. This then becomes your thesis statement. For example,

• How do environment and race intersect in the character of Frankenstein's monster, and what can we deduce from this intersection?

Expert Examples

While nobody expects you to write professional-quality thesis statements in an undergraduate literature class, it can be helpful to examine some examples. As you view these examples, consider the structure of the thesis statement. You might also think about what questions the scholar wondered that led to this statement!

• "Heart of Darkness projects the image of Africa as 'the other world,' the antithesis of Europe and therefore civilization, a place where man's vaunted intelligence and refinement are finally mocked by triumphant bestiality" (Achebe 3).
• "...I argue that the approach to time and causality in Boethius' sixth-century Consolation of Philosophy can support abolitionist objectives to dismantle modern American policing and carceral systems" (Chaganti 144).
• "I seek to expand our sense of the musico-poetic compositional practices available to Shakespeare and his contemporaries, focusing on the metapoetric dimensions of Much Ado About Nothing. In so doing, I work against the tendency to isolate writing as an independent or autonomous feature the work of early modern poets and dramatists who integrated bibliographic texts with other, complementary media" (Trudell 371).

Works Cited

Achebe, Chinua. "An Image of Africa" Research in African Literatures 9.1 , Indiana UP, 1978. 1-15.

Chaganti, Seeta. "Boethian Abolition" PMLA 137.1 Modern Language Association, January 2022. 144-154.

"Thesis Statements in Literary Analysis Papers" Author unknown. https://resources.finalsite.net/imag...handout__1.pdf

Trudell, Scott A. "Shakespeare's Notation: Writing Sound in Much Ado about Nothing " PMLA 135.2, Modern Language Association, March 2020. 370-377.

Contributors and Attributions

Thesis Examples. Authored by: University of Arlington Texas. License: CC BY-NC

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How to Write the AP Lang Argument Essay + Examples

What’s covered:, what is the ap language argument essay, tips for writing the ap language argument essay, ap english language argument essay examples, how will ap scores impact my college chances.

In 2023, over 550,148 students across the U.S. took the AP English Language and Composition Exam, and 65.2% scored higher than a 3. The AP English Language Exam tests your ability to analyze a piece of writing, synthesize information, write a rhetorical essay, and create a cohesive argument. In this post, we’ll be discussing the best way to approach the argumentative essay section of the test, and we’ll give you tips and tricks so you can write a great essay.

The AP English Language Exam as of 2023 is structured as follows:

Section 1: 45 multiple choice questions to be completed in an hour. This portion counts for 45% of your score. This section requires students to analyze a piece of literature. The questions ask about its content and/or what could be edited within the passage.

Section 2: Three free response questions to be completed in the remaining two hours and 15 minutes. This section counts for 55% of your score. These essay questions include the synthesis essay, the rhetorical essay, and the argumentative essay.

• Synthesis essay: Read 6-7 sources and create an argument using at least three of the sources.
• Rhetorical analysis essay: Describe how a piece of writing evokes meaning and symbolism.
• Argumentative essay: Pick a side of a debate and create an argument based on evidence. In this essay, you should develop a logical argument in support of or against the given statement and provide ample evidence that supports your conclusion. Typically, a five paragraph format is great for this type of writing. This essay is scored holistically from 1 to 9 points.

Do you want more information on the structure of the full exam? Take a look at our in-depth overview of the AP Language and Composition Exam .

Although the AP Language Argument may seem daunting at first, once you understand how the essay should be structured, it will be a lot easier to create cohesive arguments.

Below are some tips to help you as you write the essay.

1. Organize your essay before writing

Instead of jumping right into your essay, plan out what you will say beforehand. It’s easiest to make a list of your arguments and write out what facts or evidence you will use to support each argument. In your outline, you can determine the best order for your arguments, especially if they build on each other or are chronological. Having a well-organized essay is crucial for success.

2. Pick one side of the argument, but acknowledge the other side

When you write the essay, it’s best if you pick one side of the debate and stick with it for the entire essay. All your evidence should be in support of that one side. However, in your introductory paragraph, as you introduce the debate, be sure to mention any merit the arguments of the other side has. This can make the essay a bit more nuanced and show that you did consider both sides before determining which one was better. Often, acknowledging another viewpoint then refuting it can make your essay stronger.

3. Provide evidence to support your claims

The AP readers will be looking for examples and evidence to support your argument. This doesn’t mean that you need to memorize a bunch of random facts before the exam. This just means that you should be able to provide concrete examples in support of your argument.

For example, if the essay topic is about whether the role of the media in society has been detrimental or not, and you argue that it has been, you may talk about the phenomenon of “fake news” during the 2016 presidential election.

AP readers are not looking for perfect examples, but they are looking to see if you can provide enough evidence to back your claim and make it easily understood.

4. Create a strong thesis statement

The thesis statement will set up your entire essay, so it’s important that it is focused and specific, and that it allows for the reader to understand your body paragraphs. Make sure your thesis statement is the very last sentence of your introductory paragraph. In this sentence, list out the key points you will be making in the essay in the same order that you will be writing them. Each new point you mention in your thesis should start a paragraph in your essay.

Below is a prompt and sample student essay from the May 2019 exam . We’ll look at what the student did well in their writing and where they could improve.

Prompt: “The term “overrated” is often used to diminish concepts, places, roles, etc. that the speaker believes do not deserve the prestige they commonly enjoy; for example, many writers have argued that success is overrated, a character in a novel by Anthony Burgess famously describes Rome as a “vastly overrated city,” and Queen Rania of Jordan herself has asserted that “[b]eing queen is overrated.”

Select a concept, place, role, etc. to which you believe that the term “overrated” should be applied. Then, write a well-developed essay in which you explain your judgment. Use appropriate evidence from your reading, experience, or observations to support your argument.

Sample Student Essay #1:

[1] Competition is “overrated.” The notion of motivation between peers has evolved into a source of unnecessary stress and even lack of morals. Whether it be in an academic environment or in the industry, this new idea of competition is harmful to those competing and those around them.

[2] Back in elementary school, competition was rather friendly. It could have been who could do the most pushups or who could get the most imaginary points in a classroom for a prize. If you couldn’t do the most pushups or win that smelly sticker, you would go home and improve yourself – there would be no strong feelings towards anyone, you would just focus on making yourself a better version of yourself. Then as high school rolled around, suddenly applying for college doesn’t seem so far away –GPA seems to be that one stat that defines you – extracurriculars seem to shape you – test scores seem to categorize you. Sleepless nights, studying for the next day’s exam, seem to become more and more frequent. Floating duck syndrome seems to surround you (FDS is where a competitive student pretends to not work hard but is furiously studying beneath the surface just like how a duck furiously kicks to stay afloat). All of your competitors appear to hope you fail – but in the end what do you and your competitor’s gain? Getting one extra point on the test? Does that self-satisfaction compensate for the tremendous amounts of acquired stress? This new type of “competition” is overrated – it serves nothing except a never-ending source of anxiety and seeks to weaken friendships and solidarity as a whole in the school setting.

[3] A similar idea of “competition” can be applied to business. On the most fundamental level, competition serves to be a beneficial regulator of prices and business models for both the business themselves and consumers. However, as businesses grew increasingly greedy and desperate, companies resorted to immoral tactics that only hurt their reputations and consumers as a whole. Whether it be McDonald’s coupons that force you to buy more food or tech companies like Apple intentionally slowing down your iPhone after 3 years to force you to upgrade to the newest device, consumers suffer and in turn speak down upon these companies. Similar to the evolved form of competition in school, this overrated form causes pain for all parties and has since diverged from the encouraging nature that the principle of competition was “founded” on.

The AP score for this essay was a 4/6, meaning that it captured the main purpose of the essay but there were still substantial parts missing. In this essay, the writer did a good job organizing the sections and making sure that their writing was in order according to the thesis statement. The essay first discusses how competition is harmful in elementary school and then discusses this topic in the context of business. This follows the chronological order of somebody’s life and flows nicely.

The arguments in this essay are problematic, as they do not provide enough examples of how exactly competition is overrated. The essay discusses the context in which competition is overrated but does not go far enough in explaining how this connects to the prompt.

In the first example, school stress is used to explain how competition manifests. This is a good starting point, but it does not talk about why competition is overrated; it simply mentions that competition can be unhealthy. The last sentence of that paragraph is the main point of the argument and should be expanded to discuss how the anxiety of school is overrated later on in life. 

In the second example, the writer discusses how competition can lead to harmful business practices, but again, this doesn’t reflect the reason this would be overrated. Is competition really overrated because Apple and McDonald’s force you to buy new products? This example could’ve been taken one step farther. Instead of explaining why business structures—such as monopolies—harm competition, the author should discuss how those particular structures are overrated.

Additionally, the examples the writer used lack detail. A stronger essay would’ve provided more in-depth examples. This essay seemed to mention examples only in passing without using them to defend the argument.

It should also be noted that the structure of the essay is incomplete. The introduction only has a thesis statement and no additional context. Also, there is no conclusion paragraph that sums up the essay. These missing components result in a 4/6.

Now let’s go through the prompt for a sample essay from the May 2022 exam . The prompt is as follows:

Colin Powell, a four-star general and former United States Secretary of State, wrote in his 1995 autobiography: “[W]e do not have the luxury of collecting information indefinitely. At some point, before we can have every possible fact in hand, we have to decide. The key is not to make quick decisions, but to make timely decisions.”

Write an essay that argues your position on the extent to which Powell’s claim about making decisions is valid. 

In your response you should do the following:

• Respond to the prompt with a thesis that presents a defensible position. 
• Provide evidence to support your line of reasoning. 
• Explain how the evidence supports your line of reasoning. 
• Use appropriate grammar and punctuation in communicating your argument.

Sample Student Essay #2:

Colin Powell, who was a four star general and a former United States Secretary of State. He wrote an autobiography and had made a claim about making decisions. In my personal opinion, Powell’s claim is true to full extent and shows an extremely valuable piece of advice that we do not consider when we make decisions.

Powell stated, “before we can have every possible fact in hand we have to decide…. but to make it a timely decision” (1995). With this statement Powell is telling the audience of his autobiography that it does not necessarily matter how many facts you have, and how many things you know. Being able to have access to everything possible takes a great amount of time and we don’t always have all of the time in the world. A decision has to be made with what you know, waiting for something else to come in while trying to make a decision whether that other fact is good or bad you already have a good amount of things that you know. Everyone’s time is valuable, including yours. At the end of the day the decision will have to be made and that is why it should be made in a “timely” manner.

This response was graded for a score of 2/6. Let’s break down the score to smaller points that signify where the student fell short.

The thesis in this essay is clearly outlined at the end of the first paragraph. The student states their agreement with Powell’s claim and frames the rest of their essay around this stance. The success in scoring here lies in the clear communication of the thesis and the direction the argument will take. It’s important to make the thesis statement concise, specific, and arguable, which the student has successfully done.

While the student did attempt to provide evidence to support their thesis, it’s clear that their explanation lacks specific detail and substance. They referenced Powell’s statement, but did not delve into how this statement has proven true in specific instances, and did not provide examples that could bring the argument to life.

Commentary is an essential part of this section’s score. It means explaining the significance of the evidence and connecting it back to the thesis. Unfortunately, the student’s commentary here is too vague and does not effectively elaborate on how the evidence supports their argument.

To improve, the student could use more concrete examples to demonstrate their point and discuss how each piece of evidence supports their thesis. For instance, they could discuss specific moments in Powell’s career where making a timely decision was more valuable than waiting for all possible facts. This would help illustrate the argument in a more engaging, understandable way.

A high score in the “sophistication” category of the grading rubric is given for demonstrating a complex understanding of the rhetorical situation (purpose, audience, context, etc.), making effective rhetorical choices, or establishing a line of reasoning. Here, the student’s response lacks complexity and sophistication. They’ve simply agreed with Powell’s claim and made a few general statements without providing a deeper analysis or effectively considering the rhetorical situation.

To increase sophistication, the student could explore possible counterarguments or complexities within Powell’s claim. They could discuss potential drawbacks of making decisions without all possible facts, or examine situations where timely decisions might not yield the best results. By acknowledging and refuting these potential counterarguments, they could add more depth to their analysis and showcase their understanding of the complexities involved in decision-making.

The student could also analyze why Powell, given his background and experiences, might have come to such a conclusion, thus providing more context and showing an understanding of the rhetorical situation.

Remember, sophistication in argumentation isn’t about using fancy words or complicated sentences. It’s about showing that you understand the complexity of the issue at hand and that you’re able to make thoughtful, nuanced arguments. Sophistication shows that you can think critically about the topic and make connections that aren’t immediately obvious.

Now that you’ve looked at an example essay and some tips for the argumentative essay, you know how to better prepare for the AP English Language and Composition Exam.

While your AP scores don’t usually impact your admissions chances , colleges do care a lot about your course rigor. So, taking as many APs as you can will certainly boost your chances! AP scores can be a way for high-performing students to set themselves apart, particularly when applying to prestigious universities. Through the process of self-reporting scores , you can show your hard work and intelligence to admissions counselors.

That said, the main benefit of scoring high on AP exams comes once you land at your dream school, as high scores can allow you to “test out” of entry-level requirements, often called GE requirements or distribution requirements. This will save you time and money.

To understand how your course rigor stacks up, check out CollegeVine’s free chancing engine . This resource takes your course rigor, test scores, extracurriculars, and more, to determine your chances of getting into over 1600 colleges across the country!

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How to Write a Thesis Statement That Your Professor Will Love

If you’re wondering how to write a thesis statement without getting into a complete muddle, check out our incredibly simple thesis statement template to craft an amazing thesis statement. Simply fill in the blanks, and you’re done.

When it comes to perfecting the dark art of thesis statements, there’s good news and bad news:

The bad news: Your thesis statement may well be the single, most important sentence in your essay, so you can’t mess it up.

The good news: It’s actually really, really easy to write a great thesis statement without wasting too many brain cells.

Luckily, despite what you may have been told, writing a thesis statement is actually incredibly easy. You can read more here: thesis statement help .

And we’re about to share a simple trick that will help you nail your statement every single time.

But before we get to the only thesis statement you’ll ever need, let’s take a look at the basics so you can better understand: is this a thesis statement ?

What is a Thesis Statement?

• A single sentence located at the end of your introduction.
• Tells the reader what your opinion is and what the paper is going to prove.
• Directs your reader to the main pieces of evidence you will explore.

If you want to learn more, check out Purdue’s guide to thesis statements .

You may also wish to check out our guide to rewriting your thesis .

If you’re ready to get started on crafting the perfect statement, read on.

Alternatively, if you want to get a little help from AI, take a look at our free thesis statement generator .

Thesis Statements That Suck

Announcing something.

I’m going to describe Shakespeare’s love life. This essay will examine the life of a politician.

What’s so wrong?

These thesis statements provide the reader with an idea about what the essay, dissertation or thesis will discuss, but don’t actually put anything on the line. There’s nothing at stake, no specific issue to be resolved and absolutely nothing to make the reader want to learn more. Many of the theses and essays we come across as part of our student proofreading services contain this basic mistake.

Stating the obvious

Shakespeare wrote a lot about love. Politicians work long hours.

If very few people are actually likely to disagree with the issues you discuss in your essay, what’s the point in wasting your time analyzing them? Your thesis statement needs to make a claim that someone may disagree with. You will then spend your essay arguing why your claim is true. Check out our guide to writing argumentative essays for more deets.

Asking a question

Did Shakespeare ever get married? Why are politicians paid so much?

What’s so wrong?

To write a good thesis, you need to ensure your thesis statement clearly states your position and the purpose of the essay as opposed to simply posing a question. The questions above are weak and do not give your reader any idea about what you’re intending to prove in your paper.

So, now we know what a poor statement looks like, how do you write a fabulous one?

The Only Thesis Statement Template You Will Ever Need

Simply fill in the blanks of this thesis statement template in relation to the topic of your essay and what you intend to prove, and you’re done.

By examining <claim one>, <claim two> and <claim three> it is clear that <opinion>.

See it in action:

By examining politicians’ long working hours, depth of responsibility, and the important role they play in the social and economic wellbeing of the country, it is clear that they are not overpaid.

We’re done.

Yep. It really is that easy.

And to make your life even easier, we’ve crammed all this great info into a free printable PDF. Print the poster out and refer to it when you’re in the process of crafting your next thesis statement.

Don’t forget to proofread your thesis statement!

Download this Fill-in-the-Blank  Formula  by clicking on the image below.

How to Write a Thesis Statement

You can place our thesis statement template on your webpage free of charge. Simply copy and paste the code below.

<a href=”https://www.vappingo.com/word-blog/how-to-write-a-thesis-statement/”><img src=”https://www.vappingo.com/word-blog/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/Thesis-statement-poster.jpg” alt=”How to write a thesis statement”/></a>[Infographic provided by <a href=”https://www.vappingo.com”><em>proofreading</em></a>]

Get instant access to professional essay editors who can transform your grades. Students throughout the world use Vappingo to transform their academic documents and make themselves understood.

Thesis Statement Checklist

Still not sure if your thesis statement is fantastic enough? Use our thesis statement checklist to make sure you have written a good thesis:

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