paraphrasing used in counselling

Paraphrasing in Counselling

Table of Contents

In essence, paraphrasing is a micro skill that allows counselors to create an authentic bond with their clients  Together with encouraging and summarizing, paraphrasing plays a crucial role in therapeutic communication, making the client feel understood and listened to.  In other words, paraphrasing in counseling is what makes the client say, “ Finally, someone who understands what I’m going through.” Without this essential ingredient, counseling sessions would be nothing more than dull and impersonal exchanges of ideas.

What is the difference between reflecting and paraphrasing in Counseling?

Paraphrasing and reflecting are close synonyms for most people, both playing a crucial role in any form of communication.

Although paraphrasing and reflecting are fundamental counseling communication skills [1], these two processes can have slightly different connotations in a therapeutic context.

In essence, reflecting is like putting a mirror in front of your clients, helping them gain a better sense of the thoughts, emotions, and behaviors they experienced in a situation that has meaning for them.

Of course, this does not mean you have to parrot their message; simply highlight the link between different ideas and emotions and how one influences the other.

When reflecting, it is vital to match the client’s tone and even body language so that he/she knows that you’ve received the message and the feelings that accompany his/her story.

On the other hand, paraphrasing is about capturing the essence of their story with a brief statement that emphasizes the underlying emotional vibe.

This technique is particularly useful when clients know how ideas and emotions can merge to create a subjective experience, but you want them to feel understood and listened to.

In a way, we could argue that paraphrasing is a brief version of reflecting.

Let’s look at a brief example of paraphrasing in counseling:

Client: I had a huge fight with Andrew last night. At some point, he stormed out and didn’t come back ‘til morning. I tried calling him all night, but his phone was switched off. I was worried sick and thought he did something stupid. This whole thing was like a nightmare that I could not wake up from.

Therapist : It seems this unpleasant event has put you through a lot of fear and anxiety.

Now let’s take a look at reflecting:

Therapist : I can only imagine how terrifying it must have felt to see your partner storm out after a huge fight without telling you where he is going or when he’ll be back.

As you can see, both processes require active listening. But while paraphrasing is a short statement that highlights the emotional tone of the situation, a reflective response captures “the vibe” of the story, along with other essential details.

How do you paraphrase?

• Start by listening

Whether the purpose is to paraphrase or reflect, listening is always the first step.

Through active listening, counselors gain a better sense of what their clients have experienced in a particular situation. Active listening means looking beyond the surface and trying to connect with the client on an emotional level.

To achieve this level of emotional depth, counselors listen with both their ears and their hearts. That means putting themselves in their clients’ shoes and zeroing in on the emotional aspect of the experience.

• Focus on feelings and thoughts rather than circumstances

When we listen to another person’s story, the most visible aspects are related to the actual events that he or she has gone through.

But details like names, dates, locations, or other circumstantial issues are less relevant than how the person interpreted and consequently felt in a particular situation.

When it comes to paraphrasing, counselors are trained to look beyond circumstances and identify why a client has chosen to talk about a particular event.

In almost every case, the reason is a set of emotional experiences.

• Capture the essence of the message

Although people can experience a wide range of emotions in a given situation or context, there’s always an underlying feeling that defines how they react.

That underlying emotional vibe is the “golden nugget” that counselors are looking to capture and express through paraphrasing.

If done right, paraphrasing in counseling creates an emotional bridge that sets the foundation for authentic and meaningful interactions. This will encourage clients to open up and share their struggles.

• Offer a brief version of what has been said

The last step is providing a concise version that highlights the emotional tone of the story.

Once this message reaches the client, it creates a sense of understanding that builds trust and authentic connection.

Long story short, paraphrasing is a valuable tool for cultivating empathy and facilitating therapeutic change.

How does paraphrasing help in communication?

Cultivating clarity (on both sides).

Any form of communication, whether it’s a therapeutic process, a negotiation, or a casual chat between friends, involves exchanging ideas.

And when people exchange ideas and opinions, there’s always the risk of confusion and misunderstanding.

By paraphrasing what the other person has shared, not only that you cultivate empathy, but you also let him/her know that the message has been received and understood correctly.

Research indicates that paraphrasing in counseling helps clients clarify their issues. [2] The more clients understand the inner-workings of their problems, the better they can adjust their coping strategies.

In a nutshell, paraphrasing eliminates ambiguity and paves the way for clarity.

Facilitating emotional regulation

One of the main functions of paraphrasing is to build empathy between two or more people engaged in conversation.

But the effects of paraphrasing on emotions extend way beyond empathy and understanding.

One study revealed that empathic paraphrasing facilitates extrinsic emotional regulation. [3] People who receive empathy through paraphrasing feel understood, and that prompts them to engage in a more intense emotional regulation process.

What starts as extrinsic emotional regulation slowly becomes intrinsic emotional regulation. This is the reason why someone who’s going through a rough patch can feel better by merely talking to a person who listens in an empathic manner and doesn’t necessarily hand out solutions or practical advice.

Paraphrasing can be a vital skill in heated arguments where two people have opposing views that result in emotional turmoil.

If one of them manages to exercise restraint over their intense emotional reactions and tries to paraphrase what the other shares, it could change the whole dynamic of the conversation.

What is the role of paraphrasing in listening?

As we discussed throughout this article, paraphrasing is one of the critical aspects of active listening.

It’s what turns a passive individual who listens only to have something to say when it’s his/her turn to speak into an active listener who understands and resonates on an emotional level.

Furthermore, paraphrasing is a means by which we provide valuable feedback on the topic of discussion, keeping the conversation alive.

It is also the tool that allows therapists to build safe spaces where clients feel comfortable enough to unburden their souls by sharing painful experiences and gaining clarity.

To sum up, paraphrasing in counseling is a vital micro skill that creates an authentic connection, providing clients with the opportunity to experience a sense of understanding.

Knowing there is someone who resonates with your emotional struggles makes your problems seem less burdensome.

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Paraphrasing in counseling

Paraphrasing refers to one of the counseling skills which holds paramount importance in the process of counseling. It is that skill which the counselor uses to repeat what the client has said at the present moment using fewer words and without any intention of changing the meaning of what the client conveyed through his words. 

Though paraphrasing looks quite simple and quick, it demands a sufficient amount of concentration and articulation skills from the side of the counselor. It is more difficult than it appears to be. While paraphrasing the words of the client, they should not end up feeling interrupted or misunderstood, in the process. The paraphrase should be kept, short, precise, and simple. There must be no unwanted complications or assumptions involved in it.

Although, if the paraphrase is kept too short, it would make the client feel confused and sometimes, dejected for being interrupted in between. Hence, paraphrasing must be initiated and put into action in a non-complex and understanding manner. It is very important to practice paraphrases that come in various lengths, variations of content, or emphasis of the wording. This will help you to understand what works best for your intentions and goals, as a counselor.

Emphasis on essence

The intention of a counselor, when using paraphrases must be to reveal the essence of the client’s words. The client should get clarity, in terms of the paraphrases you use to communicate with them and must not feel confused or at loss for words once they’ve heard you out. They must be able to smoothly continue with their communication and not be intimidated or taken aback by your choice of words. 

Growth of empathy

A form of acknowledgment .

Paraphrasing is a form of acknowledgment that is provided by the counselor. This is done by mindfully restating the words of the client, conveying empathy, acceptance, and genuineness. A therapist’s role does not comprise of reading the minds of the clients or assuming their emotional states. Hence, it is very essential to learn the art of rephrasing the client’s words briefly and acknowledge them with honesty. 

The important thing to be kept in mind is not to make judgemental statements or use biased terms in the form of paraphrases. This puts off the client and makes him/her trust the therapist less. You must allow the client to come to conclusions on their own and not put words in their mouth. 

Tone of voice

Alternatives that do not define paraphrasing, faqs: paraphrasing in counseling, why do counselors use paraphrasing.

Paraphrasing is one of the most important skills that is required, in the process of counseling. Paraphrasing in counseling is a way of responding, which informs the client that the counselor has precisely heard what the client has conveyed. These kinds of paraphrases, encouragers, and summaries are important and helpful for the client to feel understood in the process of counseling. They make the client feel more comfortable and less vulnerable in the relationship with their therapist. Paraphrasing and summarising are active and efficient ways of communicating to the client that they have been heard. 

What is the difference between paraphrasing and reflecting in counseling?

How do you reflect in counseling, how is paraphrasing helpful.

Paraphrasing is important for the mutual understanding of both the client’s and the therapist’s understanding of the client’s situation. It helps the client in revealing the source of his thoughts and emotions in many instances and it acts as a breakthrough for the client in the process of counseling. The therapist also makes good use of the paraphrasing skill to confirm and reaffirm the meaning and tone of emotion used to convey anything that is said by the client, to clear the air of doubts or confusions and make the process of counseling smooth and hassle-free. It provides a good deal of understanding between the client and the therapist.

What are some counseling skills?

What is the primary goal of counseling.

http://www.csun.edu/~hcpsy002/Psy460_GrpTask05_Paraphra.pdf

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Paraphrasing

What is Paraphrasing?

Paraphrasing is repeating back your understanding of the material that has been brought by the client in your own words. A paraphrase reflects the essence of what has been said.

We all use paraphrasing in our everyday lives. If you look at your studies to become a counsellor or psychotherapist, you paraphrase in class. Maybe your lecturer brings a body of work, and you list and make notes: you’re paraphrasing as you distil this down to what you feel is important.

The Power of Paraphrasing:

• The speaker feels heard.
• Helps the listener to adjust frame of reference.
• Highlights areas of high importance.
• Acts as an invite to explore deeper.
• Can indicate an end to the current discussion.

How Paraphrasing Builds Empathy

How does paraphrasing affect the client-counsellor relationship? First of all, it helps the client to feel both heard and understood. The client brings their material, daring to share that with you, and you show that you’re listening by giving them a little portion of that back – the part that feels the most important. You paraphrase it down. If you do that accurately and correctly, and it matches where the client is, the client is going to recognise that and feel heard: ‘Finally, somebody is really listening, really understanding what it is that I am bringing.’

This keys right into empathy, because it’s about building that empathic relationship with the client – and empathy is not a one-way transaction. Carl Rogers (1959, pp. 210-211) defines ‘empathy’ as the ability to ‘perceive the internal frame of reference of another with accuracy and with the emotional components and meanings which pertain thereto as if one were the person, but without ever losing the “as if” conditions’. In other words, we walk in somebody’s shoes as if their reality is our own – but of course it’s not our reality, and that’s where the ‘as if’ comes in. I’ve heard this rather aptly described as ‘walking in the client’s shoes, but keeping our socks on’!

Empathy is a two-way transaction – it’s not enough for us to be 100% in the client’s frame of reference and understanding their true feelings; the client must also perceive that we understand. When the client feels at some level that they have been understood, then the empathy circle is complete.

For example, if you watch a TV programme in which somebody achieves something that is really spectacular, you may find yourself moved for this person. You’re almost there with them on this journey, and as they’re receiving their award or their adulation, and the audience is clapping for what they’ve done, you may even be moved to tears. But the person on the TV cannot perceive your reaction – the empathy is empty, because it’s one-way.

So empathy is effective only if your client feels heard and understood – i.e. they sense that empathic connection. Using paraphrasing is a way of completing the empathy circle – a way of letting them know that we see and hear them.

Other Benefits of Paraphrasing

Paraphrasing also highlights issues by stating them more concisely. This is focusing down: it invites the client to go and delve deeper into part of what they have said. We can also use paraphrasing to check out the accuracy of our perception as a counsellor.

Below is an example of my use of paraphrasing to clarify my understanding of what was brought. This shows how paraphrasing affects the therapeutic relationship; because the paraphrase fits well for the client, she feels heard and understood. As this happens, the material deepens.

I really have a battle with doing things for the impression that others will have of me, or the approval that I will get from other people for what it is that I do. So much so that I will very often override myself, my family, so that I can gain the acceptance, I guess, of other people, whether friends, family or clients in a work situation. I will always favour what the action would be that would gain that acceptance, that would not bring up any sort of confrontation or maybe have a conflict situation arise from it.

So, I guess, I’m eager to please, wanting to make sure that all things are well and smooth – and that I’m liked and accepted with whatever the transaction or situation may be.

Counsellor:

As you’re saying that, it really feels like a lot of hard work. A lot of hard work, pre-empting whatever it is that they would have expected of you, and then ‘sacrificing’, I guess, is a word that came up for me – sacrificing your own wants/needs to be able to meet what you perceive is expected of you. Have I understood that correctly?

Yeah, the word ‘sacrifice’ really captures the feeling that comes up for me when I sort of reflect and look over that kind of situation. So often, I will sacrifice my own wants and my own desires…

In this example, the client really resonated with the word ‘sacrifice’, which the counsellor introduced as a paraphrase; she really felt understood. And it’s interesting to note that throughout the rest of this stimulated session, the word ‘sacrifice’ became almost a theme.

Another paraphrase in this example was ‘hard work’. Although the client hadn’t used this phrase herself, she was presenting visually as weighed down. Her shoulders looked heavy as she was bringing the material. So the counsellor was paraphrasing, not only the words of the narrative, but digging deeper, looking for the feelings and paraphrasing the whole presence of that client within that relationship.

Listening for ‘the Music behind the Words’

Here is another example of paraphrasing, from the same skills session. Try to see if you can hear, as Rogers would put it, ‘the music behind the words’, where the counsellor looks deeper than just the words the client is bringing, paraphrasing back their whole being.

Out of my own will or my own free choice, I would put that aside and favour what would be accepted – or what I think someone else would rather I do. And sometimes it’s hard. It leaves me with a situation of not knowing if they actually really realise what it is that I sacrificed, that I’ve given up, so that it can fall into what I think they would prefer in that situation.

It feels confusing to you in that situation of whether they even perceive what it is that you are sacrificing, what you’re giving up. That it almost feels like you’re giving up part of yourself to match what you think they may want or need from you. And I kind of got the feeling, as you were saying that you wonder if they even see that.

Yeah. As I was sort of verbalizing and talking through that, I actually realised that even within that sacrifice, it’s all my perception of what I think they might want me to do. And just saying that is actually a bit ridiculous. Because how am I to know what it is that they want or need to do? So here I am – disregarding my own desires, for lack of a better word – to do something I assume someone else would want me to do instead.

I thought it was really interesting that this client started off in what felt to me like an external locus of evaluation. She was confused, and wondering whether the people she refers to understood what she was giving up to meet their perceived expectations. Immediately after the counsellor’s paraphrase, this client experienced a moment of movement from an external to an internal locus of evaluation, where she realised it was all about her own perceptions and responsibility. In this way, she went from being powerless to having the power to change this situation.

Next Steps in Paraphrasing

Paraphrasing is so much more than just repeating the client’s words back to them using your own words. Although it might feel very simplistic – and there’s often a tendency to paraphrase the narrative/story that the client brings, rather than their feelings/process – there’s so much more to it than that and so much deeper that we can go. There’s real power in paraphrasing.

I suggest that you:

• Practice active listening and paraphrasing in your day-to-day life.
• Practice paraphrasing in your own stimulated skills sessions.
• Try to look for the full person when paraphrasing, e.g. not just the client’s words, but also their body language, facial expressions, and way of being within the counselling relationship.
• Record these sessions (with your peer’s consent) and listen back to them.
• Speak to your peers about paraphrasing.
• Evaluate each other’s skills and explore how you might paraphrase more effectively.
• Look whether you’re getting empathic connection within your paraphrasing.
• Search out moments of movement when you paraphrase.
• Ask how paraphrasing affects both the client and you, as a counsellor.

Paraphrasing is definitely something that should be debated. I hope that this chapter will encourage you to go out there with a new passion for – and a new way of looking at – paraphrasing!

Alternatives to Questions

What else can we use when we’re not sure what exactly a client means? For example, if a client was speaking about his brother and father, he might say: ‘I really struggle with my brother and my father. They don’t get on, and at times he makes me so angry.’ Who does the client mean by ‘he’: the brother or the father? Not knowing who makes him angry means I cannot be fully within the client’s frame of reference.

I could ask: ‘Sorry, just so I can understand, who it is that you’re angry at – your father or your brother?’ This risks ripping the client out of that emotion (the anger). Instead, we could use reflection: ‘He makes you so angry.’ This invites the client to expand on what he has said. He might say: ‘Yes, ever since I was a young boy, my dad was always…’ In this case, I didn’t need to ask a question – we’re still in the feelings, and I’ve got what I needed in order to be fully in the client’s frame of reference.

Of course, the client might not reveal the information I need in his answer – for example, if he responded to my reflection: ‘He does. He makes me really angry – in fact, so angry that I don’t know what to do about it anymore.’ In that case, I would still need to put in a question: ‘Is this your dad or your brother that you’re referring to?’

Rogers, C, 1959. ‘A Theory of Therapy, Personallity, and Interpersonal Relations, as Developed in the Client-Centered Framework’, in S Koch (ed.),  Psychology: A Study of a Science  (Vol.3), New York: McGraw-Hill, 184-256.

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Effects of Empathic Paraphrasing – Extrinsic Emotion Regulation in Social Conflict

Maria seehausen.

1 Cluster of Excellence “Languages of Emotion,” Freie Universität, Berlin, Germany

2 Dahlem Institute for Neuroimaging of Emotion, Freie Universität, Berlin, Germany

3 Department of Psychiatry, Charité University Medicine Berlin, Campus Benjamin Franklin, Berlin, Germany

Philipp Kazzer

Malek bajbouj, kristin prehn.

In the present study, we investigated the effects of empathic paraphrasing as an extrinsic emotion regulation technique in social conflict. We hypothesized that negative emotions elicited by social conflict can be regulated extrinsically in a conversation by a listener following the narrator’s perspective and verbally expressing cognitive empathy. Twenty participants were interviewed on an ongoing or recently self-experienced social conflict. The interviewer utilized 10 standardized open questions inviting participants to describe their perception of the conflict. After each of the 10 descriptions, the interviewer responded by either paraphrasing or taking notes (control condition). Valence ratings pertaining to the current emotional state were assessed during the interview along with psychophysiological and voice recordings. Participants reported feeling less negative after hearing the interviewer paraphrase what they had said. In addition, we found a lower sound intensity of participants’ voices when answering to questions following a paraphrase. At the physiological level, skin conductance response, as well as heart rate, were higher during paraphrasing than during taking notes, while blood volume pulse amplitude was lower during paraphrasing, indicating higher autonomic arousal. The results show that demonstrating cognitive empathy through paraphrasing can extrinsically regulate negative emotion on a short-term basis. Paraphrasing led to enhanced autonomic activation in recipients, while at the same time influencing emotional valence in the direction of feeling better. A possible explanation for these results is that being treated in an empathic manner may stimulate a more intense emotion processing helping to transform and resolve the conflict.

Introduction

Emotion regulation research to date has mainly focused on an individualistic point of view emphasizing control mechanisms in the individual, such as attention deployment, cognitive reappraisal, or the willful suppression of emotional expressions (Gross and Thompson, 2007 ; Butler and Gross, 2009 ; Rime, 2009 ). Compared to the abundance and sophistication of the research pertaining to classification schemes on such intrinsic regulation, systematic analysis of extrinsic emotion regulation and especially of controlled interpersonal affect regulation (i.e., the process of deliberately influencing the emotional state of another person, as opposed to non-conscious affect spreading) is still relatively sparse. Rime ( 2009 ), however, points out that an emotional experience is virtually indivisible of a social response, which in turn is bound to shape and modify the original emotion, so that emotion has to be regarded as a fundamentally interdependent process.

Niven et al. ( 2009 ) propose a classification system for controlled interpersonal affect regulation strategies, derived from Totterdell and Parkinson’s ( 1999 ) classification of strategies to deliberately improve one’s affect. Their final classification distinguishes between strategies used to improve versus strategies used to worsen others’ affect, and between strategies that engage the target in a situation or affective state versus relationship-oriented strategies. The technique of empathic paraphrasing, which is investigated in the present study, can be categorized as aiming at affect improvement and engagement within this classification framework. However, it also contains a relationship-oriented component, as empathic paraphrasing communicates interest and commitment in understanding the other’s perspective, thereby implying that their feelings are valid and worth listening to.

Empathy has been conceptualized in many different ways, usually involving a cognitive and an emotional component (Preston and de Waal, 2002 ; Lamm et al., 2007 ; Decety and Meyer, 2008 ). Cognitive empathy means the ability to take the perspective of another person and infer their mental state, while emotional empathy refers to the observer’s affective response to another person’s emotional state (Dziobek et al., 2008 ).

Paraphrasing or active listening (coined by Carl R. Rogers in Client-Centered-Therapy) is a form of responding empathically to the emotions of another person by repeating in other words what this person said while focusing on the essence of what they feel and what is important to them. In this way, the listener actively demonstrates that he or she can understand the speaker’s perspective (cognitive empathy). Rogers described empathy as the ability to sense the client’s private world as if it were one’s own, but without losing the “as if” quality (Rogers, 1951 ). Empathy is communicated through active listening, which in the Client-Centered approach aspires to evoke personal growth and transformation through providing a space of unconditional acceptance for the client. Rogers considered empathy, positive regard, and congruence both necessary and sufficient conditions for therapeutic change (Rogers, 1942 , 1951 ).

This early notion on the importance of empathy for facilitating therapeutic change has gained ample empirical support over the last decades of research. How empathic a therapist is perceived to be has been identified as a critical factor for positive therapy outcome for both psychodynamically oriented and cognitive-behavioral psychotherapies (Bohart et al., 2002 ; Duan and Kivlighan, 2002 ; Orlinsky et al., 2004 ; Marci et al., 2007 ; Elliott et al., 2011 ; Norcross and Wampold, 2011 ). Based on a review of several studies Marci et al. ( 2007 ) describe a significant influence of perceived empathy on mood and general clinical improvement, even when controlling for other factors. Along this line, a meta-analysis conducted by Bohart et al. ( 2002 ) confirms a modest but consistent importance of empathy during psychotherapy. Zuroff et al. ( 2010 ) specifically examined the relationship between patient-reported measures of the three Rogerian conditions (positive regard, empathy, and genuineness) and therapeutic outcome, and found that patients whose therapists provided high average levels of the Rogerian conditions across all patients in their caseloads experienced more rapid reductions in both overall maladjustment and depressive vulnerability (self-critical perfectionism). Farber and Doolin ( 2011 ) conducted a meta-analysis on 18 studies also focusing on the effects of positive regard as defined by Rogers on treatment outcome, and found an aggregate effect size of 0.26, confirming a moderate influence of this factor.

The effectiveness of showing empathy on treatment success has also been assured within the field of medical care. Medical researchers have coined the term clinical empathy , which Mercer and Reynolds ( 2002 ) define as (1) understanding the patient’s situation, perspective and feelings (and their attached meanings), (2) communicating that understanding and checking its accuracy, and (3) acting on that understanding with the patient in a helpful (therapeutic) way. Hence, within the clinical setting empathy entails not only cognitive and affective components but also a behavioral component to communicate understanding to the patient, i.e., through active listening (Davis, 2009 ). Accordingly, the active demonstration of empathy has already been recognized as a crucial component of promoting cooperation in challenging situations within the field of clinical care. Halpern ( 2007 ) stresses that physicians who learn to empathize with patients during emotionally charged interactions can thereby increase their therapeutic impact. By the same token, a growing body of evidence demonstrates that empathic communication effectively helps patients through challenging and fearful situations, ranging from painful dental treatments over psychological problems to pandemic crisis (Cape, 2000 ; Reynolds and Quinn Crouse, 2008 ; Bernson et al., 2011 ). Neumann et al. ( 2009 ) reviewed prior empirical studies on clinical empathy and conclude that clinical empathy is a fundamental determinant of successful medical care, because “ it enables the clinician to fulfill key medical tasks more accurately, thereby achieving enhanced health outcomes ” (Neumann et al., 2009 , p. 344).

In sum, the effectiveness of empathic communication as an extrinsic emotion regulation technique has already gained solid empirical support from psychotherapy and medical research. For the present study, social conflict was chosen as the context to examine the effects of empathic paraphrasing on emotion, for two reasons. Firstly, social conflict is often accompanied by intense emotions such as anger and hurt, and therefore lends itself easily to the investigation of extrinsic emotion regulation, without requiring artificial emotion induction in the laboratory. The setting of real-life social conflict renders it possible to work with “real” emotion, while at the same time concentrating on a non-clinical population. Secondly, empathic paraphrasing is used with vast prevalence within the field of conflict resolution. Paraphrasing is generally applied as one of the most important constitutional elements across all domains of conflict mediation (business mediation, family mediation, community mediation, victim-offender mediation, etc.). Hence, it seems expedient to take a closer look at the emotional effects of a technique so widely used within the context of its most common application.

Social psychology research offers evidence for a connection between dispositional affective empathy as well as dispositional perspective taking and adaptive social conflict behavior (Steins, 2000 ; Gehlbach, 2004 ; de Wied et al., 2007 ). However, there is hardly any research on the effects of being treated in an empathic manner (as opposed to feeling empathy oneself) on conflict behavior. Moran and Diamond ( 2008 ) report positive effects of therapist empathy on parent’s negative attitudes toward their depressed adolescent children. Being treated in an empathic way seems to help parents to also empathize with their children going through a rough time. This is an interesting finding, which contains parallels to social conflict situations and stimulates the question which emotional effects are triggered by being treated empathically, and how these emotional processes aid own empathic reactions toward others.

An interesting train of evidence regarding the socio-cognitive effects of being treated empathically is provided by research on interpersonal mimicry and language matching in social interaction. Numerous studies confirm that non-verbal interpersonal mimicry increases affiliation and positive social judgment as well as pro-social behavior not only toward the mimicker but also toward people not involved in the mimicry situation, indicating that being mimicked not only leads to an increased liking toward the interaction partner, but to an increased pro-social orientation in general (van Baaren et al., 2004 ; Ashton–James et al., 2007 ; Fischer-Lokou et al., 2011 .; Guéguen et al., 2011 ; Stel and Harinck, 2011 ). This is true for the mimickee as well as the mimicker (Stel et al., 2008 ). Maddux et al. ( 2008 ) also report that strategic mimicry in negotiation abets more favorable negotiation outcomes, facilitating both individual and joint gains. This effect was mediated by higher levels of trust toward the mimicker. Ashton–James et al. ( 2007 ) tested several hypotheses on why mimicry promotes pro-social behavior and found that being mimicked during social interaction shifts self-construal toward becoming more interdependent and “other-oriented.” Additionally, mimicry strengthens one’s perception of interpersonal closeness with other people in general.

Correspondingly, language style matching, i.e., similarity in use of function words, has been found to predict relationship initiation and stability (Ireland et al., 2011 ). On a similar vein, according to the interactive-alignment account of dialog, the success of any given conversation depends on the extent of the conversation partners arriving at a common understanding of the relevant aspects of what they are talking about, i.e., a common situation model (Pickering and Garrod, 2004 ). Interlocutors tend to automatically align at different levels of linguistic representation, e.g., through repeating each other’s words and grammar (Garrod and Pickering, 2004 ). This alignment at low-level structure positively affects alignment of interlocutors’ situation models – the hallmark of successful communication – as people who describe a situation in the same way tend to think about it in the same way as well (Markman and Makin, 1998 ; Menenti et al., 2012 ). These findings strongly support the hypothesis that paraphrasing, which involves a certain degree of language matching and bears parallels to mimicry on a verbal level, administrates emotional and socio-cognitive effects on the person being paraphrased.

Regardless the impressive amount of research reviewed above, the specific dynamics of emotional response to empathic paraphrasing are yet largely unclear. Rime ( 2009 ) suggests that socio-affective responses such as comfort and empathy temporarily alleviate a narrator’s negative emotions and generate a deep feeling of relief. However, if no cognitive reframing and re-adjustment of goals, motives, models, and schemas occur, the alleviating effects of socio-affective responses can be expected to be only temporary, because the cognitive sources of the emotional unsettledness have not been transformed. Following this reasoning, the emotional effects of empathic paraphrasing should be expected to be short-lived. On the other hand, Rogers argued that receiving empathy and positive regard are necessary conditions for being able to revise overly rigid structures of the self and assimilate dissonant information and experiences (Rogers, 1942 , 1951 ). Hence, empathic paraphrasing may initiate a cognitive-emotional process progressing in several stages, with emotional alleviation and an increased mental openness and disposition for cognitive restructuring possibly being the first one. In this respect, the present research makes a valuable contribution by moving beyond correlational designs to presenting the first experimental study assessing in detail the emotional effects of empathic paraphrasing in the context of social conflict, hopefully providing a useful basis for further analysis in future studies.

To investigate whether and how empathic paraphrasing in the context of a real-life social conflict extrinsically regulates emotion, we invited participants to an interview in which they were asked to talk about an ongoing or recently self-experienced social conflict with a partner, friend, roommate, neighbor, or family member. The interviewer responded to participants’ descriptions by either paraphrasing (experimental condition following half of the interview questions) or taking notes (control condition). We assessed valence ratings pertaining to participants’ current emotional state as well as skin conductance response (SCR), blood volume pulse (BVP), blood volume pulse amplitude (BVPamp), and heart rate (HR) as indicators of autonomous nervous system (ANS) activity during the interviews. We also recorded the interviews for documentation and analysis.

Psychophysiological and voice parameters have been proven to be reliable indicators for emotional responses (Scherer, 2003 ; Kushki et al., 2011 ). HR is regulated by sympathetic (increase) as well as parasympathetic (decrease) pathways of the ANS (Li and Chen, 2006 ; Kushki et al., 2011 ), and reflects autonomic arousal (Critchley, 2002 ) as well as emotional valence (Palomba et al., 1997 ). BVP is a measure of changes in the volume of blood in vessels and has been associated with affective and cognitive processing (Kushki et al., 2011 ). BVP amplitude has been found to be lower during episodes of increased sympathetic activity (Shelley, 2007 ) and has also been shown to decrease when feeling fear or sadness in several studies (Kreibig et al., 2007 ). SCR depicts changes in the skin’s ability to conduct electricity and is considered a sensitive psychophysiological index of changes in autonomic sympathetic arousal that are integrated with emotional and cognitive states. In addition, SCR reflects vicarious emotional responses to another’s affective state (pain), and is therefore also connected to empathy (Hein et al., 2011 ).

Based on the literature reviewed above, we hypothesized that empathic paraphrasing would lead to a reduction of negative emotion in the situation of talking about the conflict. Specifically, we expected valence ratings to be more positive after paraphrasing. Furthermore, we hypothesized that empathic paraphrasing would lead to lower autonomic arousal, reflected in psychophysiological measures and voice analysis.

Materials and Methods

Participants.

Twenty healthy subjects [10 female; age: mean (M) = 27, standard deviation (SD) = 7.9] participated in this study. All participants were native German speakers, and had recently experienced a potentially ongoing social conflict with a partner, friend, roommate, neighbor, or family member. No conflicts involving physical or psychological violence were included in the study. Due to technical problems, SCR and voice data of four participants as well as BVP data of three participants were lost. Therefore, 20 participants entered the analysis of self-report data, 16 entered voice data analysis and analysis of SCR, and 17 entered analysis of HR and BVP.

The study was carried out in accordance with the Declaration of Helsinki and was approved by the ethical committee of the Charité University Medicine Berlin. All participants gave written informed consent prior to investigation and received payment for participation.

Interview design and procedure

Participants were told that the study investigates emotion in social conflict, especially how emotions develop while speaking about a social conflict. The interviewer further informed participants that she would try to understand their perspective, and sometimes summarize what she understood so far, while at other times take notes to help her memorize certain things and have them present over the course of the interview.

Interviews consisted of 10 standardized open questions (e.g., “What exactly bothers you about the other person’s behavior?”). After the participant answered each question, the interviewer either paraphrased what had been said, or silently took notes (control condition). Following these paraphrasing interventions or control conditions, respectively, participants were asked to rate their current emotional state. In order to avoid confounding effects resulting from the content of the questions, as well as distortions due to emotional processing over the course of the interview, interventions, and control condition were given alternately during the interview. Half of all participants received an intervention (empathic paraphrasing) after the first question, a control intervention after the second question, and so forth; the other half received a control intervention first. All interviews were conducted by the same female interviewer, who had previously received 190 h of training in conflict resolution and has worked on cases in community mediation, business mediation, and family mediation over several years, applying empathic paraphrasing as one of the core techniques of conflict resolution.

Paraphrasing in the present study was implemented in such a way that after each narration the interviewer briefly summarized the facts of the narration and described her understanding of how the narrator felt, and why, and what she understood was important to the narrator regarding the situation described. To confirm the accuracy of her paraphrasing, the interviewer asked if her understanding was correct at the end of each paraphrase. An example of a paraphrase is given in the Appendix.

All interviews were audiotaped. Interview length was 30.16 min on average (SD = 11.03), depending on how extensively participants answered to the questions. Figure ​ Figure1 1 depicts the interview questions as well as a schematic overview of the interview procedure and measurements.

Interview guideline and procedure .

Data acquisition and analyses

Participants were asked to indicate their current emotional state (valence rating) on an eight-point Likert scale ranging from −4 to 4 (“How positive or negative do you feel right now?”) 10 times during the interview, following the interventions and control condition, respectively. Ratings were analyzed with two-tailed t -tests for repeated measures in IBM SPSS Statistics 20.

Skin conductance response and BVP were recorded continuously with a sampling frequency of 40 Hz using a commercial sampling device ( Biofeedback 2000 X-pert , Schuhfried GmbH, Austria) during the entire interview. Both interviewer’s and participant’s voices were recorded using Audacity 1.2.6 with a highly directional microphone (Shure, WH20 Dynamic Headset Microphone, IL, USA).

Skin conductance data was analyzed in LedaLab V3.3.1. Time frame of analysis was 25 s after the onset of the intervention or control condition. Within this interval, SCR was decomposed by continuous decomposition analysis (CDA; Benedek and Kaernbach, 2010 ). For each participant and interval, the maximum phasic activity was computed (with a minimum amplitude of 0.001 μS) and averaged for each participant across all intervals of both conditions).

Blood volume pulse and BVPamp were analyzed for intervals of 23 s after the onset of intervention or control condition using Matlab 7.1 (The Math-Works, Inc., MA, USA). Data were smoothed using a six point Gaussian filter. BVP was further used for extracting HR data through computing the inverse of the distance between successive peaks of the BVP signal in intervals larger than 0.4 s (Kushki et al., 2011 ). Mean SCR between both conditions (paraphrasing interventions and control conditions), BVP, BVPamp (in%), and HR (in beats per minute) were also analyzed with two-tailed t -tests for repeated measures in IBM SPSS Statistics 20. In addition, we compared BVP, BVPamp, and HR during the paraphrasing intervention and the interview question directly following the paraphrase, with a standard time frame of 4 s for the question phase.

Analysis of voice recordings was done with seewave in R statistics (Sueur et al., 2008 ). Using Audacity 1.2.6., intervals of speech for voice analysis were selected manually by listening to the recorded interviews and cutting out participants’ responses to each question – following an intervention or control intervention, respectively.

Behavioral data

Valence ratings following paraphrasing revealed less negative feelings than ratings following the control condition [ t (19) = 3.395, p  = 0.003]. Effect size is d  = 0.76 (Cohen’s d for repeated measures, calculated with pooled means and standard deviations).

Differences in valence ratings over the conditions are shown in Figure ​ Figure2 2 .

Mean valence ratings (with standard error of the mean) after the empathic paraphrasing and control conditions .

Time series plots over the entire course of the interview show a U-shaped trend in valence ratings over time, which is mainly due to ratings following the control condition (see Figure ​ Figure3). 3 ). However, a repeated measures ANOVA including sequence of intervention over time as an additional factor demonstrates that the effect of the intervention remains untouched by sequence [main effect of sequence F (4, 72) = 1.768; p  = 0.145; main effect of intervention: F (1,18) = 11.400; p  = 0.003 interaction intervention × sequence F (4, 72) = 1.489; p  = 0.215].

Mean valence ratings over the course of the interview, averaged over both conditions (A) and split up into paraphrasing and control condition (B) . At each of the 10 trials, 10 subjects received an intervention and 10 received a control intervention.

Psychophysiological data

Two-tailed t -tests for repeated measures show that participants had a higher SCR during paraphrasing than during the control condition [ t (15) = 2.589; p  = 0.021]. Effect size is d  = 0.65 (Cohen’s d ). Complementary results were found in participants’ HR, which was also higher during paraphrasing than during the control condition [ t (16) = 6.491; p  = 0.000; effect size d  = 1.57]. No significant differences between the conditions for BVP were found [ t (16) = 0.22; p  = 0.812]. However, there was a strong trend for mean BVPamp [ t (16) = −2.119; p  = 0.050; effect size d  = 0.51], which was lower during paraphrasing than during taking notes. Comparing BVPamp during paraphrasing with the interview question directly following the paraphrase, we also found that BVPamp is lower during paraphrasing than during the following interview question [ t (13) = 2.381; p  = 0.033; effect size d  = 0.64]. For HR and BVP, no such difference between paraphrase and subsequent interview question was found. Figure ​ Figure4 4 illustrates differences in psychophysiological measures and voice intensity over the two conditions.

Measures of sympathetic activation (mean values with standard error of the mean) . (A) Skin conductance response (SCR; in μS), (B) Heart rate (in beats/minute), (C) Blood volume pulse amplitude (BVPamp in%), and (D) Voice volume (in dB) during empathic paraphrasing and control condition.

Voice analysis data

Mean intensity/volume of participants’ voices was lower when they replied to an interview question following a paraphrase [ t (15) = −2,466; p  = 0.026; effect size d  = 0.62]. There was no difference in mean fundamental voice frequency (F0) between the conditions [ t (15) = 0.583; p  = 0.568]. F0 range and F0 standard deviation did not differ between the conditions, either (see Table ​ Table1). 1 ). However, speech rate and articulation rate showed trends for slower speech following paraphrasing [speech rate t (15) = −1.86; p  = 0.082; articulation rate t (15) = −2.05; p  = 0.059]. Cohen’s d yielded effect sizes of d  = 0.47 for speech rate and d  = 0.51 for articulation rate.

Means (M), standard deviations (SD), t -, p -, and d -values of all parameters in intervention and control condition .

* and ** indicate significant findings .

Table ​ Table1 1 gives an overview of means and standard deviations of all psychophysiological, voice, and self-report parameters over the two conditions.

The aim of our study was to investigate the short-term emotional effects of empathic paraphrasing in social conflict. To achieve this, we conducted interviews on real-life social conflicts currently experienced by our participants. During the interview, paraphrasing was alternated with a control condition (taking notes). Emotional valence ratings were obtained after each intervention and control intervention and psychophysiological and voice recordings were executed continuously during the interviews. Our hypothesis was that paraphrasing would lead to more positive emotional valence and lower autonomic arousal. Viewing the results of our study as a whole suggests that empathic paraphrasing has a regulating effect on a narrator’s emotions, however, this effect seems to be more complex than originally expected. In sum, we found that participants felt better when the interviewer paraphrased their emotions and perceptions of the conflict. At the same time, and contrary to our expectations, SCR, HR, and BVP amplitude indicate higher autonomic activation during paraphrasing. Voice intensity as well as speech and articulation rate of participants on the other hand was lower when answering to a question following a paraphrase.

Effects of paraphrasing on valence

The self-report ratings demonstrate that participants felt better after the interviewer had paraphrased what they had said. Also, the relatively high effect size suggests that this effect is strong and practically relevant. The interview itself also induced valence effects over time, insofar that participants experienced a decline in emotional valence in the middle of the interview, which recuperated toward the end of the interview. However, due to the alternation of intervention and control intervention, which was again alternated in sequence over participants, this trend does not affect the intervention effect.

This self-reported valence effect is consistent with participants’ lower voice intensity after paraphrasing compared to the control condition. Banse and Scherer ( 1996 ) have linked high voice intensity with negative affects or aggressive speaker attitudes, thereby suggesting a conjunction between high voice intensity and negative emotional valence. Conversely, speech and articulation rate are also slightly lower following an intervention, even though these effects are not statistically significant. Speech rate is defined as the number of spoken units (e.g., words/syllables) per unit of time (minute/second). It is calculated across continuous speech segments, which may include pauses, disruptions, or dysfluency. Articulation rate is an analogical measure based only on fluent utterances, excluding pauses, and dysfluency (Howell et al., 1999 ). Speech rate has been demonstrated to increase when experiencing anger or fear compared to neutral emotional states (Scherer, 1995 ; Rochman et al., 2008 ). Hence, the lower speech and articulation rates following paraphrasing also suggest that participants experienced less negative emotion after paraphrasing.

By the same token, HR was higher during paraphrasing than during the control condition, which according to Palomba et al. ( 1997 ) can also be interpreted as a valence effect. HR deceleration has been associated with negative emotional valence during presentation of unpleasant visual stimuli. In social tasks, HR acceleration has been measured in accordance with intensity of emotion, and to a lesser degree, with emotional valence (Palomba et al., 1997 ). Palomba et al. ( 1997 ) found significant differences in HR deceleration between positive, negative, and neutral visual stimuli, with positive stimuli producing the highest and negative stimuli the lowest HR. Hence, self-report data, voice data, and HR analysis all support the conclusion that emotional valence was positively influenced by offering cognitive empathy through paraphrasing. This effect of paraphrasing on valence bolsters Rime’s ( 2009 ) supposition that being treated empathically while socially sharing negative emotion produces a short-term alleviation of these negative emotions.

Interestingly, the positive impact of mimicry on social judgment mentioned in the introduction (i.e., promoting liking toward the mimicker) suggests the generation of positive emotion as a result of mimicry. This was not the case for paraphrasing in our study: valence ratings in the intervention condition center around the neutral. Nevertheless, it is still possible that paraphrasing led to an increased liking toward the interviewer, while overall affect was neutral. Social judgment was not assessed in the present study, hence, no direct comparison with mimicry is possible. However, it would be interesting to compare the effects of mimicry and paraphrasing on emotion in future studies, as well as to study verbal mimicry or matching more extensively in the context of distressing conversations such as social conflict discussions.

Effects of paraphrasing on arousal

Skin conductance response, HR and BVP amplitude indicate a period of higher autonomic arousal while the interviewer paraphrased what participants had said, compared to taking notes on what they had said. Again, effects sizes of physiological measures suggest medium and in the case of HR, very strong, effects. This is surprising, as we presumed that the lower intensity of negative emotion induced by paraphrasing would be accompanied by lower arousal. Instead, paraphrasing apparently enhanced autonomic arousal. Quite conversely to psychophysiological data, the lower voice intensity following the intervention on the other hand suggests a calming effect of paraphrasing on autonomic arousal, as several studies on emotion and voice quality have associated high voice intensity with high sympathetic autonomic arousal emotions (Scherer, 2003 ). This apparent contradiction between voice data and psychophysiological data appears initially confusing, as vocal changes and changes in SCR both originate in mediated variation of HR, blood flow, and muscular tension caused by an arousing event (Duffy, 1932 ; Laver, 1968 ; Schirmer and Kotz, 2006 ).

However, this discrepancy can be explained by the fact that BVP and SCR were recorded while participants listened to the interviewer paraphrasing, whereas voice analysis was done on recordings of participants’ answers to the interviewer’s next question, following the paraphrase. Thus, the autonomic arousal induced by paraphrasing may already have subsided and passed into a calmer state at the time participants answered the next question. This possibility is difficult to double-check for SCR as this parameter is reactive to speech and will thus be higher while participants are talking, even though autonomic sympathetic arousal induced by the intervention might have diminished already. However, we reassessed this hypothesis using BVP, BVPamp, and HR data, comparing the paraphrasing phase with the subsequent question phase and found a confirming result for BVPamp, although not for the other two measures. Participant had a lower BVP amplitude while listening to the paraphrase compared to listening to the interview question asked in direct succession. This indicates a specific effect of paraphrasing on autonomic arousal, which is not induced by speech in general. It should also be noted that voice intensity following paraphrasing is significantly lower than voice intensity following the control condition. Hence, given the assumption made above is correct, participants’ autonomic arousal is first heightened by listening to the paraphrasing, and after a short period of time lowered to a level below the control state. This is a very interesting finding, for which two possible explanations should be considered.

Firstly, it is possible that empathic paraphrasing not only leads to a reduction of negative emotion in participants, but even induces positive emotions, such as happiness and relief about being listened to and validated. This would explain the initial higher autonomic arousal, which would in this case be due to a short-term experience of positive emotions, in accordance with Rime ( 2009 ) dissipating quickly. However, the behavioral data does not support this notion, as the valence ratings remain in the negative range of the scale even after paraphrasing, only approximating the neutral zero-point. Also, it should be noted that empathic paraphrasing is distinctly different from everyday forms of volunteering empathy or forms of social sharing of emotion as referred to by Rime. Paraphrasing does not offer sympathy or emotional empathy, but instead takes a purely cognitive road by demonstrating that the listener can understand the narrator’s perspective. It does not seem likely that this technique should have the same emotional effects as common social sharing responses such as offering sympathy.

Therefore, as an alternative explanation of our results, it is more conceivable that demonstrating cognitive empathy through paraphrasing temporarily leads to a heightened focus on and increased processing of negative emotion, which might eventually have a resolving effect on these emotions. This explanation seems probable considering the nature of paraphrasing, which entails repeating emotional narrations in a pointed way, thereby sharpening and clarifying the emotional experience. In a study on the relationship between therapist pre-session mood, therapist empathy, and session evaluation, Duan and Kivlighan ( 2002 ) found that intellectual empathy (demonstrating an understanding of the client’s perspective, i.e., empathic paraphrasing) was positively correlated with client-perceived session depth (power and value of the session), but not correlated with perceived session smoothness (comfort and pleasantness of the session). In a way, paraphrasing confronts people with what they are feeling, and thus can stimulate a deeper processing of negative emotion (depth), which temporarily involves higher autonomic arousal and may even be perceived as trying and hard work (smoothness), but eventually abets resolution of the emotional conflict. It however seems unlikely that this process advances automatically without fueling cognitive work such as reappraisal and re-adjustment of goals and schemas. Yet, the clarifying focus on one’s own emotion, accompanied by the non-judgmental stance of empathic paraphrasing might strongly push this process forward. This notion is in line with Rogers’ original claim to evoke personal growth and transformation in the client through empathic paraphrasing, thereby achieving therapeutic change (Rogers, 1942 , 1951 ).

Also, considering the findings from mimicry and language matching research, which have demonstrated that being treated empathically on basal levels such as facial expression and language style promotes attitude and behavior change, it seems plausible that empathic paraphrasing may foster socio-cognitive processes in a similar direction. As paraphrasing contains a deliberate effort to verbally align with the narrator, it may generate a shared situation model and in this way promote successful communication. It would be interesting to consider if empathic paraphrasing, as it bears a certain resemblance to mimicry on a verbal level, can also stimulate pro-social behavior in the person being paraphrased; for instance a greater willingness to open up for the other party’s perspective on the conflict. This would strongly support the idea of paraphrasing stimulating a clearance of negative emotion.

There seems to be wide consensus between psychotherapists of different disciplines that psychotherapy benefits from an optimal level of arousal in the client, similar to the Yerkes–Dodson law, which posits an inverse U-shaped correlation between arousal and performance in complex tasks (Bridges, 2006 ). Markowitz and Milrod ( 2011 ) argue that emotional arousal is central for engaging the client in psychotherapy and making the therapeutic experience meaningful. They claim that the therapist’s ability to understand and respond empathically to negative emotional arousal should be considered the most important one of the common factors of psychotherapy. The therapist provides support and at the same time acts as a model, teaching the client to tolerate, verbalize, and integrate their feelings. Thus, negative feelings diminish and lose toxicity. In a similar vein, the traditional concept of the “corrective emotional experience” by Alexander and French ( 1946 ) describes the transformation of painful emotional conflicts as re-experiencing the old, unsettled conflict but with a new ending. This notion, which has gained ample empirical support, holds that processing emotional conflicts within a safe and empathic environment is necessary for therapeutic change (Bridges, 2006 ).

A resembling road is also pursued by acceptance and mindfulness-based interventions. Research on acceptance-based and mindfulness-based therapy has shown that accepting and mindfully observing negative emotions (instead of trying to suppress them) leads to the dissolution of these emotions (Eifert and Heffner, 2003 ; Arch and Craske, 2006 ; Hayes-Skelton et al., 2011 ). Czech et al. ( 2011 ) cite several experimental studies which have demonstrated that acceptance of negative emotion decreases distress and increases willingness to engage in challenging tasks. Empathic paraphrasing may have similar effects, as it essentially applies the principles of mindfulness and acceptance from the outside – through a listener who takes on an accepting role, thereby prompting the narrator in the same direction. Offering cognitive empathy through paraphrasing draws attention to emotions, non-judgmentally describes and accepts them, and is thus very similar to acceptance-based and mindfulness-based therapy. The central difference might be the locus of initiation of these processes, which in the case of empathic paraphrasing comes from somebody else. Comparing the effects of mindfulness and empathic paraphrasing and investigating the potential consequences of this difference on emotion processing and emotion regulation could be an interesting research focus for future studies.

Limitations of the present study

A potential short-coming of the present study pertains to the nature of the control condition, which consisted of taking notes silently. It could be argued that, as only the experimental condition involved speech, the differences found might be due to a general effect of being spoken to, rather than to an isolated effect of empathic paraphrasing. However, it should be noted that within a social conflict situation, the content of a reply to emotional descriptions can never be perceived as completely neutral, and any control condition involving speech will induce emotional effects of its own, e.g., irritation or even anger caused by inapplicable verbal comments of the interviewer following participants’ emotional disclosure. The present control condition was deliberately chosen for providing a neutral baseline against which the effects of empathic paraphrasing can be tested before moving on to other modes of comparison.

An aligned point of concern might be that it cannot be ascertained how the control condition was perceived by participants. For instance, even though they were informed that the note-taking simply served the purpose of bolstering the interviewer’s memory during the conversation, some participants may still have worried about the notes containing subjective judgment. This would most likely induce stress and add an emotional bias to the control condition. In this case, however, one would expect an increase in autonomic responses during the control condition, which did not occur. Still, considering these shortcomings of the control condition, the results need to be reproduced with varying kinds of control conditions involving speech before they can be viewed as definite.

It should also be mentioned that this study focused exclusively on short-term emotional reactions to paraphrasing, in order to obtain a constitutional data base illustrating the regulatory effect of this communicational technique. Our results suggest that in addition to influencing immediate emotional valence, paraphrasing sets in motion an initially arousing process of coping with negative emotions associated with the social conflict, which eventually may lead to resolving these emotions. However, as we did not assess longitudinal measures pertaining to the emotions associated with the social conflicts in question, this conclusion has to remain speculative until backed up by further research.

Finally, the relatively small sample size of the study makes it prone to distortions from individual variations and gender differences, e.g., in emotion expression. Again, replication of the results based on larger groups of study participants is called for.

Conclusion and directions for future research

The present study provides first experimental evidence that offering cognitive empathy through paraphrasing extrinsically regulates emotion in social conflict. Paraphrasing led to less negative feelings in study participants, while at the same time inducing higher autonomic arousal, which subsided after a short period of time. A possible explanation for these findings is that empathic paraphrasing stimulates an increased and focused processing of negative emotion in social conflict, and thus may contribute to resolving these emotions.

Future studies investigating the emotional effects of demonstrating cognitive empathy may further scrutinize the short- and long-term effects empathic paraphrasing has on arousal, and test the hypothesis that paraphrasing induces a cognitive-emotional process which facilitates the resolution of negative emotion in social conflict. Also, it would be interesting to investigate the dynamics of this process more closely and identify factors necessary for its successful development. Presently, we are working on a neuroimaging paradigm designed to overcome some of the above mentioned shortcomings and further explore the effects of empathic paraphrasing on the disposition to consider other people’s perspective in social conflict.

Conflict of Interest Statement

The authors declare that the research was conducted in the absence of any commercial or financial relationships that could be construed as a potential conflict of interest.

Acknowledgments

This study was financially supported by the Cluster of Excellence “Languages of Emotion” at Freie Universität Berlin which is funded by the DFG (German Research Foundation), and by the Open-Access publication fund of the DFG and the Freie Universität Berlin.

Example of a paraphrasing sequence

Interviewer: “What is worst for you about this situation?”

Narrator: “The worst thing is not knowing what happens now, well, this uncertainty. I mean, there is a problem, I have to make sure the rent is being paid, because in the end I am responsible, because I am in the rental agreement…and then – not being able to deal with that situation, not being able to act, because I just don’t know what is going to happen. The worst…now I am not so sure anymore, what was worst about it – well, also interpersonally it was very disappointing, because after all I took care of everything, voluntarily, and…I mean, when she is acting this way now, that is also a lack of recognition for what I do, what I accomplish. For my whole courtesy. What aggravates things is that is was clear from the beginning that she does not do so well financially, but urgently needed an apartment, and I let her move in with me to help her. And that is something that is…not being trampled under her feet…but you notice that there is a lack of recognition. Well, I think this second issue is worse than the first one.”

Interviewer: “So it is a combination, is it? For one, this thing, that in some way your existence is on stake here, that you are saying, this uncertainty is hard to bear – that you do not know how the rent is going to come around in the future. And then also the interpersonal issue, that you are saying you are disappointed of her, because you helped her, and in return you get this now, right? Especially the lack of recognition, the interpersonal treatment is what is worst – did I understand that correctly?”

Narrator: “Yes.”

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Encouragers, Paraphrasing and Summarising

A counsellor can encourage a client to continue to talk, open up more freely and explore issues in greater depth by providing accurate responses through encouraging, paraphrasing and summarising. Responding in this way informs the client that the counsellor has accurately heard what they have been saying. Encouragers, paraphrases and summaries are basic to helping a client feel understood.

Encouragers, also known as intentional listening , involve fully attending to the client, thus allowing them to explore their feelings and thoughts more completely. Paraphrasing and summarising are more active ways of communicating to the client that they have been listened to. Summarising is particularly useful to help clients organise their thinking.

The diagram below shows how encouragers, paraphrases and summaries are on different points of a continuum, each building on more of the information provided by the client to accurately assess issues and events.

Encouragers – Encouragers are a variety of verbal and non-verbal ways of prompting clients to continue talking.

Types of encouragers include:

• Non-verbal minimal responses such as a nod of the head or positive facial expressions
• Verbal minimal responses such as “Uh-huh” and “I hear what you’re saying”
• Brief invitations to continue such as “Tell me more”

Encouragers simply encourage the client to keep talking. For a counsellor to have more influence on the direction of client progress they would need to make use of other techniques.

Paraphrases – To paraphrase, the counsellor chooses the most important details of what the client has just said and reflects them back to the client. Paraphrases can be just a few words or one or two brief sentences.

Paraphrasing is not a matter of simply repeating or parroting what the client has stated. Rather it is capturing the essence of what the client is saying, through rephrasing. When the counsellor has captured what the client is saying, often the client will say, “That’s right” or offer some other form of confirmation.

Example: I have just broken up with Jason. The way he was treating me was just too much to bear. Every time I tried to touch on the subject with him he would just clam up. I feel so much better now. Paraphrase: You feel much better after breaking up with Jason.

Summaries – Summaries are brief statements of longer excerpts from the counselling session. In summarising, the counsellor attends to verbal and non-verbal comments from the client over a period of time, and then pulls together key parts of the extended communication, restating them for the client as accurately as possible.

A check-out, phrased at the end of the summary, is an important component of the statement, enabling a check of the accuracy of the counsellor’s response. Summaries are similar to paraphrasing, except they are used less frequently and encompass more information.

• July 21, 2009
• Communication , Counselling Process , Encouraging , Microskills , Paraphrasing
• Counselling Theory & Process

Comments: 23

Yeah,must say i like the simple way these basic counselling skills are explained in this article. More of same would be most welcome as it helps give a better understanding of the counselling process and the methods and techniques used within the counselling arena

I really find this information helpful as a refresher in my studies and work. Please keep up the excellent work of ‘educating’ us on being a better counsellor. Thank you!

Wonderfully helpful posting. Many thanks!

Thankyou so much. I am doing a assignment at uni about scitzophrenia and needed to clarify what paraphrasing truly meant. Cheers

So helpful to me as a counselor.

Thankx so much for these post. I’m doing Counselling and Community Services and I need to clarify what summarising and paraphrasing really meant. Once again thank you, this information it’s really helpful

Hello Antoinette friend and doing guidance and counselling need uo help about this question With relevent examples explain the following concepts as used in communicating to clients. (I;listening to verbal messages and using encouraged minimal prompts. 2)making use of non verbal communication and exhibiting attending behaviours using Gerald Eganis macro skill SOLER/ROLES. 3.paraphrasing 4.identifying and reflecting feelings and emotions from the clients story 5.summarizing 6.confrotation 7.counsellor self disclosure 8.asking open and close open ended concept 9.answering questions 10.clarifying

thanks I am doing a counselling community services at careers Australia

Really love the explanations given to the active listening techniques it was really useful and helpful good work done.

Helpful. Thanks!

I really like hw u explain everything in to simple terms for my understanding.

Hai ,thanks for being here .Am a student social worker,i need help an an able to listen to get the implied massages from the client.and to bring questions to explore with them .I love to do this work .What shall I do.how do i train my self in listening.

really appreciate.

You explanation of these three basic intentional listening are very helpful. Thank you for remained us.

very helpful indeed in making the client more open and exploring the issues more deeply

Very important cues.thanks

the article was helpful .thank you for explaining it in more clear and simple words.appreciate it alot .

I need to write about what counselling words mean ie I understand summarising and paraphrasing any more would be useful as I’m near the end of my course

I have a role play exam tomorrow on counselling and find above explanation very useful. thanks for sharing.

This explanation is clear and precise. Very easy to understanding than the expensive textbook. Please keep posting as this helps a lot. Thanks and God bless.

Pingback: Summarising In Counseling (a Comprehensive Overview) | OptimistMinds

One of the simple and memorable descriptions of this I’ve read, thanks so much!

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THE SCHOOL OF COUNSELLING

• Jan 20, 2023

3 Ways to Master Paraphrasing

Mastering Paraphrasing: 3 Key Techniques for Building Trust and Connection in Therapeutic Relationships

What is Paraphrasing?

Mastering paraphrasing is an essential skill for trainee counsellors. Paraphrasing is a form of rewording what the client has shared without losing the sense or meaning of what they are saying. It focuses on something that is significant for the client, or, as the counsellor or helper, you notice it as being significant for the client.

When applying active listening, there are many techniques we can use, and paraphrasing is just one of them. There is reflection, clarifying, and focusing. However, paraphrasing has an important role to play and can be incredibly powerful in enabling a therapeutic connection.

If we consider that a relationship between one person and another is started through connection, then paraphrasing is a demonstration of that connection. It is an integration of the client’s experience into our experience, which is then relayed back to them. While it may not seem evident, an exchange has taken place. This can be a useful and effective counselling skill, especially for those starting on a CPCAB level 2 counselling skills course.

#1 . Accuracy

It is critical to be as accurate as possible to the original intention, the meaning behind the client or helpee shared. This is important because it goes back to what I said above: it builds trust and shows you are actively listening to what the client or helpee is saying. Accuracy helps the client feel understood.

#2 . Neutrality

It is ideal that you keep your response as neutral and objective as possible. As counsellors or trainee counsellors, we are not looking to put our thoughts or feelings inside that paraphrase. As long as we are neutral, we provide the client a healthy and non-judgemental space which is essential to that therapeutic relationship.

#3 . Clarity

It cannot be underestimated that using clear and simple language is crucial to mastering this counselling skill. There is no reason to get florid or expand on loads of different ideas; keep the language simple. It is helpful as it shows the client you are paying close attention to what they are sharing, allowing them to feel understood.

Those are my three ways to improve your paraphrasing. Either in a therapeutic setting or in our day-to-day conversations, paraphrasing helps us connect and understand what the other person is going through. It radically improves your counselling skills and communication skills and forms a part of our CPCAB level 2 counselling skills course.

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Counselling Skills in Action

Student resources, video 3.3 reflecting, paraphrasing, summarizing.

These resources support you in exploring the core skills of therapeutic work and integrated frameworks for ‘active listening’.

Mick Cooper describes and gives examples of the skills of reflecting, paraphrasing and summarizing (07:05)

Discussion question

• What are the important things to bear in mind when using different skills of reflecting back?t

If only a preview is showing, please click here to access the full video.

Passing your National Licensing Exam

Microskills: paraphrasing vs. summarizing in counseling practice.

Send us a text

CounselingExam How often have you found yourself caught between paraphrasing and summarizing, unsure of the fine line that differentiates them? Don't fret! Stacy Frost and Dr. Linton Hutchinson are here to sweep away confusion and shed light on these two essential counseling skills in a way you've never encountered before. As hosts of Licensure Exams, they masterfully unpack the intricacies of paraphrasing and summarizing, demonstrating how paraphrasing involves capturing the crux of a client's specific message, while summarizing is about compacting the main points, problems, or themes over a session, or multiple sessions. As Stacy and Linton weave their unique perspectives into this enlightening conversation, you'll learn how effective paraphrasing can demonstrate understanding of a client's sentiment, and summarizing can aptly encapsulate an entire session into key points. Get ready to challenge yourself in an interactive session where they play a game of identifying whether a statement is a paraphrase or a summary. Plus, there's a contest for the listeners, with the first to correctly respond to a Facebook post winning a personal Zoom call with them. By the time you're done with this episode, you'll not only understand paraphrasing and summarizing like never before, but also be fully prepped to employ these skills in your practice. Ready to take your counseling skills up a notch? Tune in now!

If you need to study for your national licensing exam, try the free samplers at: LicensureExams This podcast is not associated with the NBCC, AMFTRB, ASW, ANCC, NASP, NAADAC, CCMC, NCPG, CRCC, or any state or governmental agency responsible for licensure.

Share This Episode

Hey, there you incredible therapists. Welcome to our podcast here at Licensure Exams. I'm Stacey Frost and I'm with my co-host, the man, the Mystery, the Legend.

Dr Linton Hutchinson hey.

Hi from hot and sunny Florida. Today we're talking about the differences between paraphrasing and summarizing two very important counseling skills that you will probably need for the exam. You'll be tested on a variety of skills and these two are often confused because they share some similarities.

Exactly and there are also some subtle differences. But before we get into that, let's start by defining each. So paraphrasing is the restatement of a specific message or an idea that has been expressed by the client, and the goal is to capture the essence of the client's statement, using different words but retaining the original meaning.

Right and summarization is a condensed version of a larger piece of information that they've given you, so it may span the entire session or even multiple sessions, and it's used by you to capture the main points, issues or themes discussed over a period of time.

Right. So paraphrasing and summarizing are similar in that they both involve repeating or restating a client's thoughts and feelings, but they're different in that paraphrasing is about restating a specific message or idea expressed by the client, while summarizing involves condensing several ideas that have been expressed by the client.

Yeah, that's right, Stacey. Well, I guess it's time to provide everyone with a couple of good examples.

Let's say, a client tells you I feel like I'm stuck in a dead-end job and it's really taking a toll on my mental health.

Okay, so paraphrasing this could sound something like you're trapped and your current career is affecting your well-being.

Yeah, good one. So with that statement, you've taken the client's sentiment and rephrased it, demonstrating your understanding of what they're trying to communicate to you. Now let's contrast this with a summarization.

At the end of the session, you might say something like you've discussed your feelings of stagnation in your job and how this is negatively impacting your mental health. With that, you've condensed the conversation from the entire session by focusing on the main points of discussion where number one the client's feeling of stagnation in their job and two, how it's impacting their mental health. Your summarization tells the client that you understand what's been discussed with them in the session.

Yep. Thank you very much, Linton, for summarizing that so clearly.

Right. Well, here's another example.

During the beginning of the session, your client says I'm feeling really overwhelmed by all the expectations that I have for myself these days. I just don't feel like I can keep up.

Well, you could respond by saying it sounds like you're feeling a lot of pressure from your own expectations and that it's really difficult for you to deal with the stress. What does that sound like to you, stacy? Is it a paraphrase or is it a summarization?

Well, this one is a little tricky, but I'm leaning toward a paraphrase.

Yes, Stacy, and why is that?

Well, the response focuses on a specific statement that the client made. You, as a therapist, are restating it in different words, while still capturing that main point they're trying to make. You're not condensing multiple conversations or a lot of different ideas, like a summarization would.

If this was an episode of Wheel of Fortune, I'd ring a bell at this point.

I used to watch that show all the time with my grandma. That and Jeopardy Good ones, all right. So yay, I get to move on to the next round. You got any more examples, lyndon?

Sure, how about this one?

A client says I don't know if I can trust my boyfriend. He lied to me last week.

Well, you could respond to him by saying it seems like you're finding it difficult to trust your boyfriend after being misled. Is that a paraphrase or a summarization?

Well, that one also sounds like a paraphrase. You've captured the real essence there of what the client said and you expressed it back to them in different words.

You got it All right, let's try this one.

The client says to you I'm not sure how to handle this conflict with my sister. We've been arguing a lot lately and it's really just been getting worse and I don't know what to do. She never listens to me, no matter how hard I try to get her to listen. My parents are always taking her side, so nothing ever changes.

So let's say that you continue talking about this issue with the client and at the end of the session you say we've discussed your conflict with your sister and how it's escalating, as well as the fact that neither of you are being heard. Your parents always seem to take her side, which has made the situation even more frustrating for you.

Okay, so this one pretty clearly to me seems like a summarization. You've got these multiple conversations that you've talked about during the session and ideas that you both discussed, and now you're presenting the client with a really condensed version of all those points.

Right Using. This is just a really great way to provide closure for the client on all the important topics that you covered during the session.

Exactly so, linton. I got the answers right. Is there a prize?

Yeah, absolutely, but the prize isn't for you, stacey, you're already the prize.

Aww, all right. Well, that sounds good to me. Let's go ahead and pay it forward then. So the first person to respond to this post on Facebook outlining the differences between paraphrasing and summarizing, like we've talked about in this episode, is going to get a Zoom call with me and Linton, and we'll answer any questions that you might have as you are studying for your exam.

All right. So, to recap, we talked about paraphrasing and summarizing. Paraphrasing is about restating a specific message from the client with slightly different words, while summarizing is about condensing multiple conversations or ideas in order to capture the main points discussed.

Well, I think that's about all we have for today. Thanks for joining us and make sure to tune in next time, Until we meet again, remember it's in there.

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Verbal Communication in Counselling and Therapy

Submitted: 30 October 2019 Reviewed: 30 March 2020 Published: 09 September 2020

DOI: 10.5772/intechopen.92316

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Globalisation has many facets which affect individuals and families alike. One of the areas affected by globalisation is communication, which is no longer regarded as something that happens between two or more individuals in a physical setting, but in the twenty-first century, can take on a different form. Hence, through the use of media and technology, verbal communication has taken a back seat. Social media platforms have become children’s main mode of communication and in the process losing sight of the most important aspects that verbal communication entails, like how the message is communicated and received. It is sometimes forgotten that the message often carries thoughts and emotions proving that it is more than simply the translation of information. Communication is a symbolic process by which people create shared meanings. Thus, the absence of verbal communication in families has resulted in parents not really engaging with their children and being aware of what they are up to, thus leading to an unstable family environment which is not conducive to the positive development of children. This chapter will explore the importance of verbal communication for the creation of attentiveness in children and a stable family environment.

• verbal communication
• globalisation

Author Information

Zoleka ntshuntshe *.

• University of Fort Hare, East London, South Africa

Nokuzola Gqeba

Malinge gqeba.

*Address all correspondence to: [email protected]

1. Introduction

Communication is the act or process of using words, sounds, signs or behaviours to express or exchange information or to express your ideas, thoughts, feelings, etc., to someone else (Merriam Webster). Communication also entails the use of verbal and non-verbal cues, and in the process often a big deal of information is passed, and sometimes misunderstandings can also occur. This is because you can share the words without really conveying the message because of poor communication. Alternatively you can share the wrong message because of poor communication. This is because communication can entail the use of verbal and non-verbal cues. There are many forms of communication, but for this chapter, we shall focus on interpersonal communication which is the most common form of communication between people. The most common of this type of communication is verbal interpersonal communication, which is also laden with its own subsections that go with it.

This chapter will explore verbal communication and why it so important as an effective method for the conveying of messages between two people. It is sometimes forgotten that the message often carries thoughts and emotions which proves that it is in fact more than simply the translation of information. Hence, Sadri-Flammia [ 1 ] sums up communication as a symbolic process by which people create shared meanings. So what is verbal communication? Verbal communication is about language, both written and spoken. Verbal communication is about spoken and written language. In other words human beings interact through the use of words or messages in the form of language (Oxford reference.com/view/10.1093/oi/authority.20110803115457102 ).

Effective verbal communication skills include more than just talking. Verbal communication encompasses both how you deliver messages and how you receive them. Therefore, it goes without saying that for parent’s effective communication will automatically engage the use of both verbal and non-verbal communication. Communication is a very important skill and it’s one that is essential that every parent should have.

Parents who can convey information clearly and effectively are at a very big advantage as this means that children are in a position to interpret their messages and act appropriately on the information that they receive and have a better chance of executing their tasks and perhaps excelling at school as well.

2. Methodology

2.1 research methodology, 2.1.1 population.

The population of the study is young people that are having issues with their self -esteem. This is informed by the fact that the youth of today is easily influenced by external factors such as (television, the Internet, clothes, etc.).

2.1.2 Sample

Young people were purposely sampled for the study.

2.1.3 Research instrument

Given that the study is of a descriptive nature, the researcher collected data desktop analysis.

3. The concept of communication

A theoretical understanding of the concept of communication is important in order to understand the impact of globalisation on family communication. That is borne of the fact that the family is a unit of society and most importantly an agent of socialisation. Van Ruler [ 2 ] posits that even among scholars, there has never been an understanding of what “communication” or “to communicate” means. The study gravitates towards those scholars whose definitions of communication are similar with each other, purely for the purposes of the study.

Glare [ 3 ] argues that the word “communicate” comes from the Latin word “communicare” which means “to make generally accessible” or “to discuss together”. Meanwhile, Ezezue [ 4 ] posits that communication comes from the Latin word “communis” which he describes to mean “to share”. In this context and according to him, sharing can also be taken to mean “partake” and/or “cooperation” which therefore makes “communication” a social activity. If there is any synergy between the definitions from the two scholars, it is the fact that communication is a tool for bringing people together and it involves reaching out between two or more people.

Rosenberg [ 5 ] on the other hand suggests that, among other things, communication involves the process of creating meaning psychologically, socially and culturally. The definition by Rosengren also recognises the fact that communication is a social activity and adds the element of interpretation, decoding or creating meaning out of the message. To Rosengren, communication is “how” messages are understood intellectually and how ambiguity arises and gets resolved. The notion of communication involving meaning is supported by Littlejohn (1992) in arguing that “communication” does not happen without the creation of meaning and people create and use meaning in interpreting events.

From the agreements above, it can be deduced that communication is a social activity that involves decoding meaning to create a social, cultural and psychological meaning and context. The definitions above also acknowledge that communication is a complex activity or process that can lead to ambiguity or barriers to communication. A definition from Kelvin-Iloafu [ 6 ] encompasses all the above in stating that communication “is a crucial instrument of social interactions and a medium through which all relationships are established and maintained”. It follows therefore that for communication to be a success, there needs to be a common understanding from verbal and non-verbal symbols [ 7 ]. For communication to be understood well, the different types of communication should be discussed.

4. Types of communication

4.1 verbal communication.

Verbal communication is based on a face-to-face interaction. This may also involve the use of electronic devices like telephone and megaphone/loudhailer. The common thread in these communications methods is that a human voice is heard from the transmitter to the receiver. Verbal communication has been the main feature of family communication in their social role of socialising the young to the norms and values of the community. This form of communication happens from birth to death as the mother verbally communicates with the young even before they can be able to comprehend the message nor respond to it.

4.2 Written communication

Written communication involves the translation of oral messages into visible alphabetic symbols, words and symbols, thus making reading and writing necessary competences in written communication. Ever since the early days of civilisation, communication in writing has developed and taken new forms different from a paper to a computer and more recently to mobile phones. With the world becoming a global village, families have also relied on written communication to link up with each other from different parts of the world.

4.3 Non-verbal communication

Non-verbal communication involves the transmission of messages without the use of words, letters or symbols. This communication involves reliance on our physical environment, body movement, drawings and pictures including sign language. Family members are able to use body language to communicate with each other without losing meaning because they know each other well. This therefore means that there should be a common understanding between the transmitter and the receiver on what the movement and or the sign entails.

4.4 Kinesics

Kinesics involves the study of communication through body movement and facial expression. Posture and gestures are important features in this form of communication.

4.5 Proxemics

Proxemics involve the way people use physical space to convey messages between them. For instance people use the four distances in communication on a face-to- face basis. For very confidential communications, an intimate distance is used. In a conversation involving family and close friends, a personal distance can be adopted. For business transactions a social distance is used. Lastly a public distance is used when talking to a group in a room [ 6 ].

4.6 Insights to verbal communication

Language is what sets humans apart from another species in communication. Even though the use of symbols and body language may be useful in communication, language gifts human communication with three properties, semanticity, generativity and displacement, and these distinguish language from other forms of communication that other species have.

4.7 Semanticity

In human communication, signals and symbols have meaning. If a person consistently scratches one spot in their body, it indicates that they have an itch on their body. To an observer, the scratching might signal a skin irritation, but the scratching cannot express the word “itch” when expressed in words. Language is pivotal therefore in that even families rely on language to communicate even those things that cannot be adequately expressed through symbols.

4.8 Generativity

This can also be called productivity. Languages by their very nature can generate an endless number of meaningful messages. Languages enable symbols to be merged and recombined in ways that produce unique meanings, and as a result any competent language user is able to produce and make meaning of utterances that have never been uttered before but are immediately comprehensible to all competent language users.

4.9 Displacement

Language has an ability to explain or define things that are sometimes abstract or more remote in space and time or even things that exist only in imagination. Krauss [ 8 ] quotes Bertrand Russell in saying “No matter how eloquent a dog may bark, he cannot tell you that his father is poor but honest.” Even in families, family members are able to communicate and even abstract things. Language is able to convey displaced messages that distinguish it from other communication modalities.

4.10 Four communication paradigms

Language functions as a medium of instruction in many ways. Krauss and Fusse [ 9 ] identify four models or paradigms of communication. The four paradigms are encoding-decoding paradigm, the internalist paradigm, the perspective-taking paradigm and the dialogue paradigm. For the purposes of the study, focus will only be given to encoding-coding.

4.11 Encoding and decoding

“Language often is derived as a code that uses words, phrases and sentences to convey meanings” [ 9 ]. Coding is a system that outlines a set of signals onto a set of important meanings. “The Encoding-Coding approach to language conceives of communication as a process in which speakers encode their ideas in words, phrases and sentences, and listeners decode these signals in order to recover the underlying ideas” [ 9 ].

4.12 Positive aspects of verbal communication

Verbal communication assists in getting the message across more effectively and quickly. In addition, tactful verbal communication skills are capable of dealing with disputes.

4.12.1 Verbal communication increases motivation

Through verbal communication, leaders and family heads are able to give word of appreciation. Emails can be impersonal, but words sound more personal and reassuring. Having regular in-person meetings with family or colleagues goes a long way to boost confidence. It also serves as a team-building session.

4.12.2 Verbal communication provides clarity

Some people are more prone to remember or retain information directly and verbally presented to them. For training, verbal communication comes handy as questions can be asked and answers provided immediately. Even within families, the value is that young people are able to learn quicker as they can ask information-seeking questions as they observe in growing up.

4.13 How to improve your verbal communication skills

For those who lack in communication skills, they can read books or go for professional and professional and personal development. A key component of communication is listening. This requires key issues like eye contact, facial expression and body language.

5. Barriers to communication

This serious barrier negatively affects communication. This is rife in families particularly when there are different generations living together. The younger generations are more likely to enjoy loud music and/or headphones that impede effective communication.

5.2 Perception

This happens when the receiver of the message interprets the message in a manner that suites them far from the intended meaning. The perception of the receiver might be far from the intended meaning and thus distort the real meaning and interpretation of the meaning.

5.3 Emotions

When the transmitter of the message appears to be emotional when conveying a message, objective and effective listening gets affected; thus, the assimilation of information is hampered. Emotional states that lead to this involve anger, fear, sorrow, happiness, etc.

5.4 Source credibility

The extent to which a source of information is trusted and credible affects the receivers’ perception of the message. Lack of credibility can lead to distortion or doubt on the side of the receiver.

5.5 Information overload

Given the spread at which the modern world moves and the amount of data produced in the global village, information becomes overloaded, and interpretation gets difficult.

5.6 Dangers of lack of communication

Mokeyane [ 10 ] posits that healthy communication between a parent and a child strengthens the relation between them. It is therefore critical for parents to cultivate a culture of healthy, open and mutually respectful communication between the two.

5.6.1 Weak emotional bond

Healthy communication strengthens the emotional bond between parent and child and the rest of the family. The child feels free and secure. While lack of communication creates distance, trust issues and emotional problems that later lead to mental illness. The bond between the child and a parent lays the foundation for future relationships and behaviour. Healthy communication reassures the child that the parent or the family is there for them and it shows interest in them as individuals [ 10 ].

6. Behavioural problems

Children who lack the necessary verbal communication skills to express difficult emotional issues are more prone to face behavioural issues. A child who cannot verbally express their emotions may tend to use force or aggression to express emotions.

7. Conflict resolution

Teaching a child to verbally express their emotions helps the child to develop effective ways of dealing with conflict. Role modelling ways of verbally resolving conflict (by parents) through open and respectful communication creatively equips the child to act out that behaviour in dealing with conflict.

8. Basic verbal communication skills used in counselling

Basic verbal communication skills in counselling include using counselling microskills which are specific skills a counsellor can use to enhance their communication with clients. Counselling microskills enable a counsellor to effectively build a working alliance and engage clients in discussion that is both helpful and meaningful. We shall explore a few of these skills:

9. Encouragers, paraphrasing and summarising

These microskills mean that the counsellor is attentive to what he/she has been saying. In this way the client feels understood and acknowledged.

Encourager is a strategy in which a counsellor uses to encourage a client to talk and open up more freely. In this way both counsellor and client are able to explore issues in greater depth. This skill also informs the client that the counsellor is attentive to what he/she has been saying. In this way the client feels understood, acknowledged and valued. On the other hand, paraphrasing and summarising are more active ways of saying to the client that they have been listened to. Summarising also assists the client to organise their thinking. The following paragraph will take a closer look at each of the three ways of communicating.

Encouragers are a variety of verbal and non-verbal ways of urging clients to continue talking. The different types of encouragers include non-verbal minimal responses such as a nod of the head or positive facial expressions and verbal minimal responses such as “I hear what you’re saying”. There can also be brief invitations to continue such as “Tell me more”. What this means is that encouragers are simply a way of encouraging the client to keep on talking. In order for a counsellor to have more influence on the direction in which he wants to steer the conversation, he would need to make use of other techniques as well.

Paraphrases: In order to be able for the counsellor to paraphrase, he needs to choose the most important details of the conversation and reflects them back to the client. How does this happen? These paraphrases can be in the form of a few words or one or two brief sentences. Important to remember is that paraphrasing is not a matter of simply repeating what the client has stated but rather capturing the essence of what the client has said. If the counsellor has captured what the client is saying, then the client will give out a signal as some form of a confirmation. In a way it is reaffirming what was said earlier on that; it is a way to acknowledge that the client is heard.

Summaries can be brief statements of longer excerpts. It entails attending to verbal and non-verbal comments from the client over a period of time and then pulls together key parts of the extended communication and restating them for the client as accurately as possible. Summaries are similar to paraphrasing, with the exception that they are used less frequently and encompass more information.

10. Questioning

Questioning is another skill which can yield good results if used properly. The purpose of using questions during the counselling session is that they can help to open up new areas for discussion. They can also assist to pinpoint an issue, and they can assist to clarify information that at first may seem ambiguous to the counsellor. The type of questions to use for instance may encourage clients to reflect on some information and the client’s own actions. Thus counsellors need to familiarise themselves about the different types of questioning techniques they can use while also knowing the direction in which the questioning is taking. However, caution should be exercised in overusing this technique as it may send out the wrong idea that that the counsellor is the one in charge of the situation.

The counsellor can use two main types of questions: (1) open and (2) closed questions.

Open questions give the client the opportunity to speak as much as possible, while on the other hand, the counsellor gets the opportunity to collect as much information as possible. Questions such as what, why, how or could can be used.

“How” questions encourage the client to talk about their feelings and/or process. “What” questions more often lead to the collection of facts and information. “When” questions bring about information regarding timing of the problem, and this can include events and information preceding or following the event. “Where” questions may reveal the environment, situation or place where that the event took place, and “why” questions usually give the counsellor information regarding the reasons of the event or information leading up to the event.

It is important to note that care must be taken by the counsellor when asking “why” questions as these type of questions may provoke feelings of defensiveness in clients and may encourage clients to feel as though they need to justify themselves in some way.

Closed questions normally begin with is, are or do and may be answered by a simple yes or no. It is important to note that while questioning techniques can be used positively to draw out and clarify issues relevant to the counselling session, there is also the very real danger of overusing questions or using questioning techniques that can have a negative impact on the session. For instance, the use of the wrong types of questioning techniques, at the wrong time, in the hands of an unskilled interviewer or counsellor, can cause unnecessary discomfort and confusion to the client.

11. Reflection of meaning

This type of strategy helps clients to reflect and find meaning into their life experiences. Hence, the skill of reflection of meaning is to assist clients to explore their values and goals in life, by understanding the deeper aspects of their experiences.

12. Reflecting and clarifying

Reflecting is the process of retelling the other person your understanding of what has been said. In other words it may involve paraphrasing the message communicated to you by the speaker in your own words. This means that the counsellor needs to try and capture the essence of the facts and feelings expressed and communicate your own understanding back to the speaker. It is a useful skill to the counsellor because it tells whether the counsellor has in fact clearly understood the message conveyed to him ( skillsyouneed.com/ips/verbal-communication.html ).

13. Importance of verbal communication in counselling

This chapter has demonstrated that communication can impact counselling in a variety of ways; such effective communication skills have been highlighted through the different modes of communication as well as the effective communication skills counsellors can utilise. On the part of the counsellor, reflecting and clarifying are a particularly important listening skill, and in this process, empathy is communicated to the patient. According to Carl Rogers, empathy is considered a basic condition in counselling and can be seen as communicating a sense of caring and understanding. According to this definition, empathy involves not just caring but being perceived as caring This again is validation that the patient is heard and his/her feelings are acknowledged and seen as valid. The patient needs validation of experience, which is crucial for emotionally sensitive people. The patient needs to get recognition and acceptance that the experience the person has just gone through was a valid one [ 11 , 12 ]. When it comes to achieving psychological well-being, validation plays an important role. Validation from others is one of the best tools to help emotionally sensitive people manage their feelings effectively. Validation primarily consists of two aspects: that one’s inner experiences, i.e. thoughts, emotions, feelings and behaviours, will be acknowledged, understood and accepted by other people. On the other side, one’s identity is accepted by others as well. To validate someone’s feelings means first to accept someone’s feelings. Following this is to understand and eventually to nurture them.

Validation entails listening. Therefore, painful experiences that are expressed, acknowledged and validated by a trusted listener will diminish [ 11 , 12 ]. On the other hand, painful feelings that are ignored will gain strength. Communicating when one is overwhelmed with emotion is most often very difficult, and being able to trust someone enough to share one’s feelings with is a great achievement. Thus, the absence of verbal communication in families has the potential to result in problems such as parents not really engaging with their children and being aware of how they are responding to them.

14. Therapeutic strategies for effective verbal communication

The concept of therapeutic communication has been defined by scholars to with the purpose of decoding its complexity. They do this by defining each word separately. “Therapeutic refers to the science and the art of healing, of or pertaining to the treatment or beneficial act (Miller and Keane, 1972; Potter and Perry, 1989). Similarly, Rogers (1961) refers to the helping relationship “which is one that promotes growth and development and improved coping with life for other person”. Furthermore, some scholars have defined “communication” as having definitions that emphasise either the message or the meaning. Mohan et al. (1992) posit that communication is “the ordered transfer of meaning: social interaction through messages: reciprocal creation of meaning: sharing of information, ideas or attitudes between or among people”. Similarly, De Vito (1991) posits that communication is whereby one or more people send or receive messages that have a potential of being disturbed by noise and occur within a “context, have some effect and provide some opportunity.”

To convey information/opinion, for example, “this is the doctors rooms”.

To request information/opinion/behaviour, for example, “is the doctor available at this present time?”

To give social acknowledgement, for example, “doctor is available from Monday to Saturday”.

Sibiya argues that it is possible that these three major types of messages can be combined into different ways to form an interaction or conversation. In the case of nurses, their communication with their patients is consciously and purposely meant to be therapeutic. Families can also adopt this approach and focus of conversation (verbal communication) as a therapeutic strategy for effective communication. Families that adopt this type of therapeutic communication stand a chance of cementing relations among family members. In addition, young members of the family learn to trust. Trust is critical for families who sometimes find themselves spatially located in the global village. Trust makes them open up when they are overwhelmed by the challenges of globalisation. Therapeutic communication tends to mend rifts in terms of conflict and play a proactive role in averting conflict.

15. Conclusion

This chapter has explained in detail what verbal communication is, its many facets and forms and how the message often carries thoughts and emotions which proves that it is in fact more than simply the translation of information. Verbal communication is important to clarify misunderstandings between any two parties as well as creating trust, validation and empathy, therefore highlighting the advantages and importance of verbal communication for the creation of attentiveness in children and thereby building a safe environment where children can openly discuss and share their thoughts and emotions.

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• 3. Glare PG, editor. Oxford Latin Dictionary. London, UK: Oxford University Press; 1968
• 4. Ezezue BO. “Effective communication” an essential tool for organization growth and sustainability. Nigerian Journal of Management Research. 2008; 3 (1):93-99
• 5. Rosenberg KE. Communication, An Introduction. London, UK: Sage; 2000
• 6. Kelvin-Iloafu EL. The role of effective communication in strategic management of organisations. International Journal of Humanities and Social Science. 2016; 6 (12):93-99
• 7. Donnolley IH, Gibson I, Vance Rich IM. Fundamentals of Management. Texas: Business Publication Inc.; 1984
• 8. Krauss RM. The psychology of verbal communication. In: Smelser N, Balters P, editors. International Encyclopedia of the Social and Behavioral Science. 2002
• 9. Krauss RM, Fussell SR. Social psychological models of interpersonal communication. In: Higgins ET, Kruglanski A, editors. Social Psychology: A Handbook of Basic Principles. New York: Guilford; 1996. pp. 655-701. Available from: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/communication
• 10. Mokeyane NK. The Effect of Lack of Communication between Parent & Child. 2006. Available from: www.living.thebump.com/effects-lack-communication-between-parent-child-17771-html
• 11. Hall K. What is validation and Why Do I Need to Know? Psych Central. 2012a. Available from: http://blogs.psychcentral.com/emotionally-sensitive/2012/02/levels-of-validation
• 12. Hall K. Validation of experience. Psychology Central. 2012b. Available from: http://blogs.psychcentral.com/emotionallysensitive/2012/02/levels-of-validation
• 13. Sibiya NM. Effective communication in nursing. International Journal of Africa Nursing Sciences. 2018; 8 :1-7

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What is paraphrasing and Summarising in counselling?

Table of Contents

Difference between paraphrasing and summarising in counselling. Using summaries is different from using paraphrasing, as a summary usually covers a longer time period than a paraphrase. Thus, summarising may be used after some time: perhaps halfway through – or near the end of – a counselling session.

What are encouragers in counseling?

Encouragers – Encouragers are a variety of verbal and non-verbal ways of prompting clients to continue talking. Types of encouragers include: Non-verbal minimal responses such as a nod of the head or positive facial expressions. Verbal minimal responses such as “Uh-huh” and “I hear what you’re saying”

What is an example of summarizing in counseling?

Summarization is also used as a way to close a session. For example: Client: “I really feel guilty about marrying her in the first place. It wasn’t really for love.

How is Summarising used in counselling?

Summarizing lets the client know that the counsellor has heard and understood, and also enables the client to clarify thoughts, identifying what is most important. It is not sufficient just to notice what the client has said; it is also important to notice what is missing.

What is an example of paraphrasing in counseling?

The following are some examples of accurate paraphrasing: One moment she’s really friendly, and the next time 1 see her she’s totally cold.” Counselor: “You haven’t experienced her as being very consistent.” Client: “Every moment there is something new to do.

Why paraphrasing is important in counseling?

In essence, paraphrasing is a micro skill that allows counselors to create an authentic bond with their clients Together with encouraging and summarizing, paraphrasing plays a crucial role in therapeutic communication, making the client feel understood and listened to.

What is an encourager?

Encouragernoun. one who encourages, incites, or helps forward; a favorer.

How can counselling improve paraphrasing skills?

let the client know that you are listening and understand what they are saying, 2. clarify confusing content, 3. highlight issues by stating them more concisely, and 4. check out the accuracy of your perceptions as the counselor.

What is paraphrase in counseling?

Paraphrasing or active listening (coined by Carl R. Rogers in Client-Centered-Therapy) is a form of responding empathically to the emotions of another person by repeating in other words what this person said while focusing on the essence of what they feel and what is important to them.

How is paraphrasing used in counselling?

Why paraphrasing is important in counselling.

What is Summarising paraphrasing?

Paraphrasing means rephrasing text or speech in your own words, without changing its meaning. Summarizing means cutting it down to its bare essentials. You can use both techniques to clarify and simplify complex information or ideas. To paraphrase text: Read and make notes.

How would you explain summarizing and paraphrasing?

A paraphrase must also be attributed to the original source. Paraphrased material is usually shorter than the original passage, taking a somewhat broader segment of the source and condensing it slightly. Summarizing involves putting the main idea(s) into your own words, including only the main point(s).

What is the role of an encourager?

Encouragers see people as storehouses of untapped potential because they don’t see you where you are, but have a vision of where you can go. By looking at people as a work-in-progress they provide coaching, feedback and mentoring that enables the discovery and development of your unique gifts and talents.

What type of word is encourager?

verb (used with object), en·cour·aged, en·cour·ag·ing. to inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence: His coach encouraged him throughout the marathon race to keep on running.

Why is Summarising and paraphrasing important?

Summaries leave out detail or examples that may distract the reader from the most important information, and they simplify complex arguments, grammar and vocabulary. Used correctly, summarizing and paraphrasing can save time, increase understanding, and give authority and credibility to your work.

How do you teach paraphrasing and summarizing?

Key strategies for paraphrase

• Read the portion of text you want to paraphrase.
• Make sure you understand it.
• After you’ve read the text, make notes of what you read, without using the author’s words or structure.
• Using only your notes, write all of the important ideas of the text using own words.

What is the meaning of encourager?

1. To inspire with hope, courage, or confidence. 2. To give support to; foster: policies designed to encourage private investment. 3.

What makes a good encourager?

Encouragers actively listen with empathy. Meaningful encouragement is grounded in understanding—being able to accurately interpret what other people are saying. Great encouragers consistently seek to understand people. They are as comfortable with your fears and failures as they are with your hopes and dreams.

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20 Basic Counseling Skills to Become an Effective Therapist

When combined, such competencies support clients through treatment and help them reach their goal of overcoming the pressures of modern life and leading a more fulfilling existence (Tan, Leong, Tan, & Tan, 2015).

Various counseling skills can be learned and developed to foster and maintain the psychological process, including good communication, problem solving, and goal setting, and introduce coping techniques such as self-talk and visualization (Nelson-Jones, 2014; Sommers-Flanagan & Sommers-Flanagan, 2015).

This article introduces and examines counseling skills and techniques for supporting the psychological process underpinning therapy and setting and achieving counseling goals.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Strengths Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will help your clients realize their unique potential and create a life that feels energizing and authentic.

This Article Contains:

What are counseling skills, 3 real examples of good counseling skills, 20 basic counseling skills: a checklist, counseling microskills explained, effective techniques used by counselors, how to improve your counseling skills, assessing counseling skills: a scale, 3 books to foster your counseling skills, tools from positivepsychology.com, a take-home message.

Most therapists and counselors would agree that a good counseling relationship is fundamental to being effective with clients. Such alliances build on several counselor-offered qualities, core conditions , and skills , including “empathic understanding, respect and acceptance for clients’ current states of being, and congruence or genuineness” (Nelson-Jones, 2014, p. 9).

While psychological practitioners recognize the importance of the counseling relationship , they also agree on the need for interventions using skills directed by their theoretical orientation.

When viewed as a relationship with core conditions and a selection of interventions , counseling is recognized as a psychological process, usually with the goal of “altering how people feel, think and act so that they may live their lives more effectively” (Nelson-Jones, 2014, p. 10).

Various counseling skills underpin the psychological process and are required to become an effective therapist. They have five different goals (Nelson-Jones, 2014):

• Supportive listening Clients feel heard, understood, and affirmed.
• Managing a problem situation Clients often need help tackling a specific, problematic situation.
• Problem management The individual requires support in overcoming more general problems, such as feeling depressed.
• Strengthening insufficiently strong skills Clients can develop or replace the weak and deficient skills that cause them to face the same problems repeatedly, such as broken relationships or challenges at work.
• Enhancing skill strength goals Clients do not always seek help in resolving specific problems; sometimes, they simply require the skills to function better.

The therapist’s skills help the client achieve one or more of the goals above, overcome the problems they face, and acquire techniques to support new ways of thinking and behaving.

While there are various skills, the following are practical examples requiring positive and specific counseling skills.

Creating visual images

Visual images can be powerful tools for entering and understanding a client’s frame of reference (Nelson-Jones, 2014).

When a client explains their situation and the challenges they face, it can be helpful to form a mental representation of what life may be like for them. Visualization can provide insight into how they interpret events problematically, using their personal experiences and beliefs to shape their internal representation (Nelson-Jones, 2014).

Creating self-talk

Self-talk is a valuable intervention for clients learning to cope with stress and anger (Nelson-Jones, 2014). Skilled therapists help clients with self-talk in the following ways:

• Highlight negative self-talk Clients often rely on damaging, negative self-talk. Skilled therapists can show clients how to explore their statements in problematic situations, such as presenting at work or forming relationships.
• Educate clients about coping self-talk Clients can learn positive self-talk as a helpful coping strategy, supporting an internal dialogue that calms nerves and focuses on the task at hand.
• Capture helpful self-talk Clients can discover how to capture positive self-talk and use it at the correct time.

Crisis counseling

Therapists may occasionally counsel clients in potential or immediate danger. While their influence may feel limited, “counselors’ primary source of influence to keep clients safe through situations of imminent danger is the therapeutic relationship they form with each client” (Cochran & Cochran, 2015, p. 201).

Strong therapeutic relationship skills, such as the following, help manage client crises:

• Acceptance While tempting to see only the dilemma faced, it is crucial to know the person and accept them. It is imperative to connect with the client and make your understanding visible.
• Empathy Empathy is essential within any therapeutic relationship yet may need to be increased during times of crisis. It must be communicated clearly to the client so that they are aware of the connection formed.
• Explain what is going on If the therapist is distracted, perhaps listening for and assessing danger signals, they must tell the client. Otherwise, if the client senses anything less than the therapist’s full attention, they may assume judgmental and critical thoughts or even boredom.
• Carefully state feeling Clients may not always be aware that the therapist cares for them. Stating that they want the clients to be safe, well, and happy and sharing concern for their wellbeing can help justify a request to plan, complete an assessment, or follow a course of treatment.
• Therapeutic listening and reflection Therapeutic listening and reflection throughout each session show caring and connection.
• Making plans Planning for a client’s wellbeing and safety requires agreeing with the client what steps they will take and actions they are willing to put in place.

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The following checklists contain skills that a therapist or counselor would typically possess or be working toward to help their clients reach their therapeutic goals effectively.

Listening and communication skills

While “good therapeutic listening is extremely rare,” effective therapists should develop the following skills (Cochran & Cochran, 2015, p. 25):

• Focus on what a client is telling them for at least several minutes with total concentration.
• Summarize the core content of what is said (without their own belief bias) while avoiding missing key details or adding judgments or opinions.
• Recognize when they are adding in their own, uncommunicated thoughts.
• Be aware of their body language as a listener and recognize feelings physically and emotionally.
• Remain comfortable with silences and encourage the client to own them.

Good verbal communication is a valuable skill in therapy. Statements such as “I understand what you are saying” or “I can see you are in pain” can significantly affect the client’s confidence in the therapeutic process and the therapist.

Skilled therapists should ask themselves (Nelson-Jones, 2014):

• Is the language appropriate to the situation and the client? The client may have little or no therapy experience or may have limited vocabulary skills.
• What does the content of what is being said refer to? The therapist must tune in to what is being said and about whom; for example, “I just don’t seem to care anymore.”
• How much is being said? Too little speech may indicate client shyness or difficulty talking about a sensitive subject; too much may be a tactic to avoid sharing what is really wrong. Similarly, there is a problem if the therapist is talking more than the client or regularly interrupting.
• Ownership of speech The pronoun ‘you’ can sound judgmental. Using “I” to talk about how the speaker feels can be less confrontational and more engaging.

Reflection skills

Reflection is complex, requiring considerable therapist skills to communicate with clients that they are striving to understand (Cochran & Cochran, 2015).

An effective therapist must become skillful in the art of reflection and able to demonstrate the following (modified from Cochran & Cochran, 2015):

• Reflect their version of what the client has communicated.
• Use declarative statements when they believe they understand what has been said.
• Keep reflections concise.
• Focus on the main point of what has been shared, particularly the most emotionally laden statements.
• Accept corrections to what they have said.
• Interrupt a client with a reflection only when it assists clarity or to avoid being overwhelmed.
• Use reflections to encourage the client’s communication without damaging the conversation flow.

Helping skills

Helping skills typically include specific verbal skills taught to students who are training to become mental healthcare professionals, including (Hill & Lent, 2006):

• Open questions Helping clients elaborate on their internal frames of reference (such as, ‘Tell me about that’ ).
• Reflections of feelings Being aware of more profound emotional messages and showing that the therapist is attuned to the client.
• Interpretations Uncovering the meaning behind what is said.
• Direct guidance Setting realistic and achievable expectations for goals and appropriate behavior.

Helping skills can be learned through instruction or by modeling experts .

Attending refers to how the therapist presents to the client physically, psychologically, and emotionally. The therapist must be present, available to the client, and, rather than turning up with a fixed agenda, flexible and prepared to put themselves in the client’s situation.

Therapists should maintain an open and relaxed posture, including uncrossed arms and legs, and eye contact while following the conversation closely.

Listening relates to the importance of understanding the client’s narrative. Empathy is key to good listening. Being capable of seeing the world from the client’s perspective can create a growth-promoting therapeutic environment.

Together, microskills combine to form an effective counseling conversation (Tan et al., 2015).

Basic skills of a counselor – Mometrix Academy

Counselors combine several techniques to be effective with clients, including challenging and reflecting feelings.

Challenging skills

Challenging clients’ existing perceptions can help offer new perspectives, reframing how they see problems or previous events (Nelson-Jones, 2014).

The following guidelines can help develop the skills of challenging without confronting (modified from Nelson-Jones, 2014):

• Reflecting thoughts Begin by showing the client that they have been heard and understood.
• Helping clients challenge themselves Sending mixed messages or asking clients to back up their arguments encourages clients to question their internal frame of reference.
• Challenges should not be put-downs Avoid messages that begin with “you” that can be taken negatively.
• Avoiding strong challenges Challenging too hard can create resistance.
• Avoiding threats Avoid verbal or nonverbal threats, such as pointing or a raised voice.
• Leaving the client responsible Let the client choose if they move forward with the challenge.
• Neither overdoing nor avoiding challenges Challenging can be valuable, pushing toward client change. Too much can create the perception of an unsafe emotional climate.

Reflecting feelings

“Reflecting feelings, rather than reflecting thoughts alone, can establish a climate for initial and subsequent sessions where clients share rather than bury feelings” (Nelson-Jones, 2014, p. 102).

Unlike paraphrasing, reflecting feelings involves picking up both verbal and nonverbal messages and requires skills as both a receiver and a sender (modified from Nelson-Jones, 2014).

Receiver skills include:

• Understanding the client’s face, body, vocal, and verbal messages.
• Being in tune with their own emotional reactions.
• Considering the context of the message sent.
• Being aware of both the surface and deeper messages from the client.

Sender skills include:

• Responding to the client, showing awareness and understanding of feelings.
• Using expressive responses rather than wooden replies.
• Confirming the accuracy of understanding.

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Mental health professionals need to become their own best counselors; if therapists truly believe in their approach when applied to clients, it should also help them “lead happier and more fulfilled lives” (Nelson-Jones, 2014, p. 483).

Trainees may find it helpful to consider undergoing therapy themselves. The experience will benefit their personal growth, empathic understanding, and knowledge of the psychological process and therapeutic relationship (Nelson-Jones, 2014).

Once trained, mental health professionals should assume responsibility for their continuing professional development. Such training will keep therapists up to date with new developments in their field and advances in technology that support them professionally (Nelson-Jones, 2014).

Other ways to improve your counseling skills include being supervised, presenting at and attending conferences, and reading professional counseling books and articles.

In addition, for more guidance on your discussions with clients, we share 40 counseling interview questions to make the onboarding process and ongoing conversations easier.

Therapists, particularly students and trainees, should regularly reflect on their skill set and recognize opportunities for development and growth.

While there are limited instruments to assess the skills of mental health professionals directly, the following resources are helpful for therapists or supervisors:

• Skill Evaluation Form – Kent State University has produced a Counseling Skills and Techniques measure that while developed for students, can be relevant for trainees and more experienced therapists.
• American Counseling Association Code of Ethics – This Code of Ethics includes details of the competencies required for a counselor along with ethical considerations and standards for the counseling relationship.
• Psychotherapy Process Q-Set – This 100-item questionnaire is used to score therapy sessions and classify the overall therapy process.

While there are many books available on counseling skills, the following are three of our favorites.

1. The Heart of Counseling: Counseling Skills Through Therapeutic Relationships – Jeff Cochran and Nancy Cochran

This valuable and detailed guide helps students and trainees build on their existing knowledge and develop the qualities and skills required to form effective therapeutic relationships and deliver on treatment outcomes.

The book includes case studies, clear guidance on applying theoretical concepts in therapy, and supporting videos.

Find the book on Amazon .

2. Practical Counselling and Helping Skills – Richard Nelson-Jones

Now in its sixth edition, this book by Richard Nelson-Jones provides a detailed, step-by-step guide to applying his three-stage model (relating, understanding, and changing) to counseling.

This thorough and practical book helps the reader develop the skills to become an effective counselor and deliver treatment goals.

3. Counseling and Psychotherapy Theories in Context and Practice: Skills, Strategies, and Techniques – John Sommers-Flanagan and Rita Sommers-Flanagan

This comprehensive guide presents all the key counseling and psychotherapy theories and how to apply them in clinical practice.

Including chapter outlines, graphics, tests, charts, and links to videos, this is a valuable resource for students and teachers.

We have many tools that support the counseling and therapy process, including worksheets that help improve communication and empathy.

Why not try out the following free worksheets?

• From My Way – No, My Way to OUR Way This worksheet helps pairs explore their conflicting approaches or points of view and co-create a shared norm or solution to a problem.
• Listening Accurately Worksheet This handout presents five simple steps to facilitate accurate listening and can be used to help establish communication norms at the beginning of a therapeutic relationship.
• TRAPS to Avoid and TIPS for Success This handout puts forward a range of suggestions to facilitate better conflict resolution.
• Levels of Validation This short self-assessment helps therapists and counselors consider the level at which they typically validate the feelings and experiences of their clients, ranging from mindfully listening to radical genuineness.

If you’re looking for more science-based ways to help others develop their strengths, check out this collection of 17 strength-finding tools for practitioners. Use them to help others better understand and harness their strengths in life-enhancing ways.

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Becoming and persisting as an effective counselor requires expertise and a rich and diverse set of skills (Hill, Spiegel, Hoffman, Kivlighan, & Gelso, 2017). These skills can be developed through education, training, practice, experience, and supervision.

Good counseling skills are vital to building robust and positive therapeutic alliances, delivering on agreed goals, and achieving successful outcomes as part of the psychological process.

By investing time and energy, it is possible for counselors to grow new and develop existing skill sets and help people move closer to how they wish to live by changing how they think, feel, and act.

While open communication and showing empathy are vital, so too are sharing the tools needed by the client to solve their problems. Once empowered, they can overcome new and existing difficulties.

Explore the skills discussed within this article and identify the support you need to develop them further. It is ultimately beneficial to you and your clients that you become the most skilled counselor possible.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Strengths Exercises for free .

• Cochran, J. L., & Cochran, N. H. (2015). The heart of counseling: Counseling skills through therapeutic relationships . Routledge.
• Hill, C. E., & Lent, R. W. (2006). A narrative and meta-analytic review of helping skills training: Time to revive a dormant area of inquiry. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training , 43 (2), 154–172.
• Hill, C. E., Spiegel, S. B., Hoffman, M. A., Kivlighan, D. M., & Gelso, C. J. (2017). Therapist expertise in psychotherapy revisited. The Counseling Psychologist , 45 (1), 7–53.
• Nelson-Jones, R. (2014). Practical counselling and helping skills (6th ed.). Sage.
• Sommers-Flanagan, J., & Sommers-Flanagan, R. (2015). Counseling and psychotherapy theories in context and practice: Skills, strategies, and technique s. Wiley.
• Tan, C. T., Leong, J., Tan, A., & Tan, D. (2015). Essentials of counselling competencies: A practical guide . Write Editions.

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Summarising

Summarising in counselling.

Feltham and Dryden (1993: 186) define ‘ summarising ’ as ‘accurately and succinctly reflecting back to the client, from time to time within and across sessions, the substance of what she has expressed’.

Summarising is therefore a  counselling skill  used to condense or crystallise the main points of what the client is saying and feeling.

Difference between paraphrasing and summarising in counselling

Using summaries is different from using  paraphrasing , as a summary usually covers a longer time period than a paraphrase. Thus, summarising may be used after some time: perhaps halfway through – or near the end of – a counselling session.

The summary ’sums up’ the main themes that are emerging.

Purpose of Summarising in counselling

When summarising, the counsellor is ‘reflecting back’ the main points of the session so that the client has the opportunity to recap, and to ‘correct’ the counsellor if any parts of the summary feel inaccurate.

Summaries are therefore useful for:

• clarifying emotions for both the counsellor and the client
• reviewing the work done so far, and taking stock
• bringing a session to a close, by drawing together the main threads of the discussion
• beginning a subsequent session, if appropriate
• starting the process of focusing and prioritising ‘scattered’ thoughts and feelings
• moving the counselling process forward.

While the above uses are all in keeping with a person-centred approach to counselling, other uses may also be more relevant in more directive modalities. For example, in CBT, summarising may be useful for:

• enabling ‘the client to hear what she has expressed from a slightly different perspective’
• offering ‘an opportunity for structuring counselling, especially with clients who have difficulty in focusing on specific topics and goals’
• providing ‘a useful orientation towards homework and future sessions’ (Feltham & Dryden, 1993: 186).

Free Handout Download

The Skill of Summarising Explained

Summarising at the End of a Session

Kelly (2017: 10)) outlines how important the skill of summarising is, as a way of respectfully bringing the session to a close, while giving the client an opportunity to correct any misconceptions the counsellor may have.

Note how he uses the term ‘a neat package’ as a metaphor  to indicate that the client leaves with a summary of their material, feeling understood and ‘heard’:

It can be useful to summarise what has been brought to give the client a ‘neat package’ that they can go away with, feeling understood because the summary matches their material. Equally, the summary is an opportunity for the client to say, ‘No, it’s not like that; it’s like this.’ This too is great for the counsellor, because it allows you to realign where you are and be fully within the client’s frame of reference.

Kelly (2017: 10) describes the use of summarising in ending the therapeutic hour as follows:

About five or ten minutes before the end of the session, it’s important to let the client know that the time is coming to an end, so they have time to ‘pack up’. It allows them to ‘change gear’ and gives you, as the practitioner, the chance to close everything up before they leave, making sure they’re safe to ‘re-enter the world’.

Use of Summarising in Beginning a Session

Summarising can also be used as a way into the next session, reminding the client (who may have come from a busy week of everyday life, not necessarily recalling the nuances of their previous week’s therapy) of the key themes covered then.

When reviewing the client’s notes, before they arrive for the session, you might like to draw out the key theme (or a few themes – perhaps a maximum of three) that they brought to their previous session, and summarise these at the start.

This can help the client ‘settle in’ to the session; it also shows them that you have a clear memory of their material, which helps to build and consolidate the therapeutic relationship.

For person-centred counsellors, using a summary at the start of a session in this way doesn’t go against the principle of the client being free to bring what they wish to each session: you can still convey the client’s absolute freedom to choose to develop any of that work or to bring something entirely different this time. The choice is theirs.

How do you feel when someone has clearly listened and understood you?

© Counselling Tutor, updated 10/11/2020

Kelly K (2017) Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide , Counselling Tutor

Feltham C & Dryden W (1993) Dictionary of Counselling , Whurr

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