how to make a thesis less wordy

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How to Avoid Wordiness

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Cut Adjectives and Adverbs

This is something Ernest Hemingway became famous for. While working as a reporter, he learned to cut unnecessary words and get to the point of a story as fast as possible, claiming that all those extra adjectives/adverbs could be filled in by readers’ imaginations and the context of the story.

Take this sentence: “The frightened woman quickly ran away from the drooling, crazy, rotting zombie.” Is all that necessary? What about: “She ran away from the zombie.” Is this really any different? Or can you just assume the woman is frightened, she’s running fast, and the zombie is hideous?

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Eliminate Redundant Words and Phrases

Here at ProofreadingPal , there are whole classes of words and phrases we delete right away because they are redundant including:

• Introductory words such as “basically” or “truly.” These don’t really add anything to your writing and thus get cut.
• Qualifiers such as “very”, “really,” and “quite.” These don’t add anything either. They’re too vague and easily replaced by better words. Take “I’m really hungry,” for example. Is this a good sentence? Or is “I’m starving” better?
• Linking phrases such as “in order to.” Look at, “I need money in order to buy a trip to Jurassic Park,” as opposed to “I need money to buy a trip to Jurassic Park.” Same meaning, fewer words.
• Unnecessary phrasing such as the “person who…” construction. Look at, “He is a man who delivers mail,” instead of simply, “He is a mailman.”
• Finally, some cases involve removing whole sentences. For example, when writing academic essays, some people like to write “In the next paragraph, I am going to discuss the method section.” But, if the next section starts with the heading “Method,” do you really need to say the above sentence? Not at all. It’s clear from context.

Don’t Use Unnecessary Prepositions

Avoid Passive Voice

Carve it in stone: You should avoid passive voice wherever possible. For our purposes, passive voice is another way that wordiness creeps into your writing. Take the sentence. “I ate lunch.” A nice simple, clear sentence, right? Well, if you want to say the same thing in passive voice, it would be “Lunch was eaten by me.” Three words become five. Pretty much every “was/is + verb” construction is wordy, and switching to active voice improves the phrasing.

Use Simple Past/Present Instead of Present/Past Perfect and Present/Past Continuous

This is a similar issue. From essays to business documents to novels, it’s much more succinct to use simple present/past tense over any other tense, especially present/past perfect and present/past continuous. Why? Because doing so cuts down on unnecessary words, and, most of the time, you don’t need any of those other tenses because they’re clear through context. For example, change, “I have worked there,” to, “I worked there.” Change, “He was surfing,” to, “He surfed.” Nothing is different, right? There are exceptions, of course, but keep an eye on this issue, and you’ll find lots of instances where you just don’t need those extra modifiers.

Now, let’s look at all of these together. Take the sentence: “The kind of person who eats lots of ice cream in order to feel good is me.” Lots going on in that sentence. Or maybe not. From above you know we don’t need “lots of” because it’s an adverb. We don’t need “kind of person who” or “in order to” because they’re redundant. And we need to change the sentence to active voice and to use simple verbs. So what are we left with? “I eat ice cream to feel good.” This is much simpler and more succinct, and your reader easily understands what you mean, which is the point of communication, right?

Try these tips in your writing. Practice makes perfect (as opposed to, “In order to achieve perfection, you should take the time to practice”). And, for extra help, send it to us at ProofreadingPal , and we’ll sort you out!

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Conciseness and Eliminating Wordiness

Writing concisely is one way to capture and retain readers' interest. By writing clearly and concisely, you will get straight to your point, so your audience can easily comprehend it. There are several techniques that can help you learn to write clearly and concisely.

The table below shows some commonly-used elaborate words and their simple alternatives.

Replace Vague Words with Specific Ones

Vague or abstract words tend to conceal your meaning. On the other hand, specific words precisely and shortly convey your meaning.

• Vague: The Acme Corporation is developing a new consumer device that allows users to communicate vocally in real time.
• Specific: The Acme Corporation is developing a new cell phone.

Avoid Overusing Expletives at the Beginning of Sentences

Expletives are phrases of the form it + be-verb or there + be-verb.

Example #1:

• Wordy: It is the governor who signs or vetoes bills.
• Concise: The governor signs or vetoes bills.

Example #2:

• Wordy: There are four rules that should be observed.
• Concise: Four rules should be observed.

Avoid Overusing Noun Forms of Verbs

Use verbs when possible rather than noun forms known as nominalizations.

• Wordy: The function of this department is the collection of accounts.
• Concise: This department collects accounts.

Eliminate Unnecessary Words

Unnecessary words can come in many forms like excessive detail, repetitive words, or redundant words.

Excessive Detail

• Before: I received and read the email you sent yesterday about the report you’re writing for the project. I agree it needs a thorough, close edit from someone familiar with your audience.
• After: I received your email about the project report and agree it needs an expert edit.

Repetitive words

• Before: The engineer considered the second monitor an unneeded luxury.
• After: The engineer considered the second monitor a luxury.

Redundant words

• Before: The test revealed conduction activity that was peculiar in nature.
• After: The test revealed peculiar conduction activity.

Replace Multiple Negatives with Affirmatives

Affirmatives, instead, convey concise meaning that needs no interpretation.

• Before: Your audience will not appreciate the details that lack relevance.
• After: Your audience will appreciate relevant details.

How To Reduce Word Count In Your Dissertation, Thesis Or Academics Assignments

(without losing those precious marks).

If you follow some of the advice on this blog, chances are one of your biggest challenges is keeping your academic writing projects within the specified word count limits. It’s a good problem to have (at least compared to having not enough to say), and in this post, I’ll discuss 4 steps to reduce word count without risking losing marks.

First things first – write to think.

Before I get started, it’s worth making an important point regarding writing in general. There are essentially two ways to think about the process of writing :

• Writing as the outcome of thinking – in other words, you think deeply first, construct your argument, and then simply transfer it to paper by way of writing. You do little revising.
• Writing as a form of thinking – in other words, writing helps you flesh out your thinking and develop your arguments. Writing is an iterative process, wherein you might revise numerous times and even rewrite altogether, but this all contributes to a better quality of thinking.

Which side of the fence do you sit on? I’m an avid advocate of the latter perspective and approach – and I’m not alone. Numerous books and journal articles have covered the topic of “writing as thinking”. If the idea interests you, have a look at Henning’s “Finding your way in academic writing.”

In short, putting pen to paper as early as possible (i.e. before you feel “ready”) and then revising as your thoughts develop (as a result of writing) is an excellent way to improve the overall quality of your arguments and academic work. To do this, you cannot constantly fret over word count (at least not while you’re writing). Instead, you need to let the words flow onto paper, and then sort the wheat from the chaff at a later stage. Sure, you need some constraints, but forcing yourself to apply X model within 350 words is going to stifle your flow and limit your depth. Rather let your thoughts flow onto paper, and then trim them down once your thinking is fully fleshed out.

What does this have to do with reducing your word count? It means that word count reduction (particularly, the techniques I’ll cover below) is something you do once you’ve wrapped up your writing, not while you write . Accordingly, all the steps I’ll propose here are to be applied after the fact.

Right, let’s get into it. Follow these 4 steps (in this order) to strategically reduce your word count without losing the “meat” of your assignment/dissertation.

Step 1: Audit for purely descriptive content.

Broadly speaking, content can fall into one of two categories – descriptive or analytical.  Simply put, descriptive content eludes to the “what”, whereas analytical content describes the impact and consequence of the event/factor/situation – in other words, the “so what”. The table below highlights some of the differences between the two:

Ideally, you should try to keep your discussion analytical, rather than descriptive ( read more about this here ). There’s always be a need for some descriptive content, but ideally, this should be limited to only that content which forms the foundation for analytical content. Therefore, the first step of word count reduction is to audit for descriptive content which does not lead to analytical content . In other words, content which is purely descriptive, and is not required to get to the “so what?” content.

Read through your dissertation/thesis/assignment and trim out all content that doesn’t make the analytical cut , or doesn’t form a foundation for analysis. This is your first target – be aggressive with your trimming. Descriptive writing is pure fat and will not earn you marks – kill it!

Step 2: Audit for content which does not contribute towards answering your research question(s).

One of the reasons that it’s so important to set unambiguous research questions in your introduction is that this practice allows you to ringfence the focus of your work. In other words, it helps you to narrow the discussion to only that which is most relevant.

That said, as you write, you will invariably produce a fair deal of content that does not contribute towards your research questions . You’ll naturally digress into an interesting but irrelevant discussion about A, B and C – this might be very intellectually satisfying, but it doesn’t contribute to answering your research question. Therefore, this sort of content is your next target. Re-read your document from start to finish through the lens of your research questions or objectives. That which does not in some way contribute to answering the research question(s) or achieving the objective(s) must go .

Step 3: Audit for overly-detailed section summaries.

A good piece of academic writing should always feature summary paragraphs that link the end of one section/chapter to the beginning of the next. They should do this by summarising the key points of the former to the direction and purpose of the latter. For example:

“In this section, the analysis revealed that the key contributors to the issue included A, B and C. Accordingly, these factors will be analysed in the next chapter.”

By stating this link very clearly, you help the reader (marker) to understand your argument (which is, after all, completely new to them), which in turn helps you earn marks. Therefore, these summary sections are important. However, they can become wordy and repetitive, and you should, therefore, audit them.

Make sure that they are summarising only the absolute highlights of your argument and providing a clear, well-justified link to the next section. Don’t restate your entire chapter. The example above is what you should aim for, namely:

• Key observations/insights/highlights – followed by
• Logical link to next section

If you are extremely over word count, you may even consider removing these sections altogether. After all, it is better to remove summary content than core content. This should, however, be an absolute last resort as doing so can seriously reduce the overall flow of your document and blur the “golden thread” of your argument(s).

Step 4: Audit for wordy, bloated discussion.

This is the easiest of the four steps, and typically what most students look for when trying to reduce word count – but it usually has a comparatively minor impact. Therefore, I’m positioning it as the last step.

Naturally, your dissertation, thesis or assignment document will contain sections which are just plain wordy. This is a result of “writing as thinking” (whether you agree with the approach or not!). Therefore, the last step is to audit for sentences and paragraphs which are just plain wordy and rewrite them more concisely.

Some common trimming opportunities:

• Adjectives and adverbs – although these are sometimes necessary when developing your arguments, they are often just bloat contributors. Additionally, they can create an emotive, subjective tone, which is typically not encouraged in academic writing (where objectivity is essential).
• The word “that” – oftentimes, a sentence can communicate the same point without the inclusion of the word “that”. Use Word’s find function (Ctrl+F) to search for “that” and check where it can be omitted.
• Spaces around mathematical operators – if you’re copying numbers from Excel, chances are there are spaces between mathematical operators which can be removed. For example, p < 0.05 (3 words) can be reduced to p<0.05 (1 word).
• Abbreviate/acronymise repetitive phrases/names – if you’re repeatedly referring to a person(s) or organisation(s) that have multi-word names, create acronyms for them and replace all instances with the acronymised version. For example, “Blue Basket Enterprises” (3 words) can be replaced with “BBE” (1 word). Make sure you introduce the acronym early in the document and consider presenting a list of abbreviations. A word of warning – don’t overuse this tactic, as too many acronyms can make it difficult for the reader to understand what’s going on!

Wrapping up.

There you have it – four steps to reduce your word count without losing your core arguments. To recap, you need to:

• Audit for descriptive (rather than analytical) content.
• Audit for content which doesn’t link to the research question(s)/aim(s).
• Audit for overly detailed section summaries.
• Audit for general wordiness and bloat.

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How to Reduce Wordiness

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Written by  Scribendi

Do you find yourself writing sentences that are far too long?

Have you ever re-read a sentence and struggled to finish it in one breath?

If so, you may be suffering from something called prolixity, or in layman's terms, wordiness. Wordiness is one of the most  common ESL mistakes . It happens when a writer, either intentionally or unintentionally, uses far too many words or unnecessarily complex or abstract words.

Wordiness can seriously detract from the coherency and quality of your writing and frustrate your readers. Below, we suggest several ways to help you reduce wordiness and increase quality.

How to Reduce Wordiness: 4 Key Considerations

1. eliminate filler words.

One easy way to avoid wordiness is to limit or eliminate the use of "filler words." Filler words sneak between relevant words, and though they may sound good, they are essentially useless.

Take the phrase "It is commonly believed that . . .," for example. The filler in this phrase is "commonly," as it serves no purpose. Leaving this word out would not change the meaning and would actually improve the sentence.

Often, it is during revision that wordiness becomes apparent. For example, the phrase "Some experts commonly believe that . . ." could be revised to "Some experts believe that . . ." to make the sentence more concise.

2. Remove redundancies

Redundancies are another cause of wordiness. Redundant writing can take two forms: writers may include redundant words or redundant information.

Redundant wording is most often found in descriptive writing. This occurs when writers attempt to describe something and overuse synonyms. Take this sentence: "Mark is a funny, hilarious, and comical person." Here, three words that basically mean the same thing are used to describe Mark.

The second form of redundancy is likely familiar to students worldwide. Redundant information occurs when writers say the same thing many times but in different ways. Readers are forced to read more and yet learn nothing new.

Redundant information often crops up in essays: "Scientists have found that cancer cells can be repressed through the twice-daily consumption of carrot juice. Carrot juice, when consumed on a twice-daily basis, has been found to repress cancer cells."

The two sentences, while written differently, contain the same information. Redundant information should be avoided in order to reduce wordiness in your  essay writing .

3. Avoid overusing qualifiers

Qualifiers come directly before an adjective or  adverb  and are used to either increase or decrease the quality of the modified word. For example, in the phrase "John is very cool," the qualifier is "very." The overuse of such qualifiers can distract readers.

Qualified words can often be replaced by a single more potent word. For example, "Sue is extremely angry" could be shortened to "Sue is furious."

When every adjective or adverb is preceded by "very," "extremely," "barely," or "hardly," the qualifiers begin to lose their meaning. Always try to use one good word rather than two or three mediocre ones. This will instantly improve your writing.

4. Resist logorrhea

This form of wordiness can be the most frustrating. Logorrhea is the intentional use of long sentences or overly abstract wording.

If you've ever read a postmodern novel,  lab report , or law journal, you've likely encountered it.

An author could say something succinctly in three words, but instead they've composed a sentence so laden with adjectives and qualifiers that readers will simply be confused by the time they reach the end. All of these extra words could unnecessarily complicate  expository writing .

Here is an example of logorrhea by a famous writer, George Orwell. He was deliberately satirizing the use of logorrhea in political discourse and wrote this as an example of a sentence with many words but little meaning:

Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena compel the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably be taken into account.

If your writing resembles this example, you may want to put down the thesaurus and remember that writing is about conveying a message. Your readers should always be able to understand what you're saying.

Parting Advice

With these four considerations in hand, you should have no trouble reducing wordiness in your writing. 

Image source: iqoncept/bigstockphoto.com

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Word Choice

What this handout is about.

This handout can help you revise your papers for word-level clarity, eliminate wordiness and avoid clichés, find the words that best express your ideas, and choose words that suit an academic audience.

Introduction

Writing is a series of choices. As you work on a paper, you choose your topic, your approach, your sources, and your thesis; when it’s time to write, you have to choose the words you will use to express your ideas and decide how you will arrange those words into sentences and paragraphs. As you revise your draft, you make more choices. You might ask yourself, “Is this really what I mean?” or “Will readers understand this?” or “Does this sound good?” Finding words that capture your meaning and convey that meaning to your readers is challenging. When your instructors write things like “awkward,” “vague,” or “wordy” on your draft, they are letting you know that they want you to work on word choice. This handout will explain some common issues related to word choice and give you strategies for choosing the best words as you revise your drafts.

As you read further into the handout, keep in mind that it can sometimes take more time to “save” words from your original sentence than to write a brand new sentence to convey the same meaning or idea. Don’t be too attached to what you’ve already written; if you are willing to start a sentence fresh, you may be able to choose words with greater clarity.

For tips on making more substantial revisions, take a look at our handouts on reorganizing drafts and revising drafts .

“Awkward,” “vague,” and “unclear” word choice

So: you write a paper that makes perfect sense to you, but it comes back with “awkward” scribbled throughout the margins. Why, you wonder, are instructors so fond of terms like “awkward”? Most instructors use terms like this to draw your attention to sentences they had trouble understanding and to encourage you to rewrite those sentences more clearly.

Difficulties with word choice aren’t the only cause of awkwardness, vagueness, or other problems with clarity. Sometimes a sentence is hard to follow because there is a grammatical problem with it or because of the syntax (the way the words and phrases are put together). Here’s an example: “Having finished with studying, the pizza was quickly eaten.” This sentence isn’t hard to understand because of the words I chose—everybody knows what studying, pizza, and eating are. The problem here is that readers will naturally assume that first bit of the sentence “(Having finished with studying”) goes with the next noun that follows it—which, in this case, is “the pizza”! It doesn’t make a lot of sense to imply that the pizza was studying. What I was actually trying to express was something more like this: “Having finished with studying, the students quickly ate the pizza.” If you have a sentence that has been marked “awkward,” “vague,” or “unclear,” try to think about it from a reader’s point of view—see if you can tell where it changes direction or leaves out important information.

Sometimes, though, problems with clarity are a matter of word choice. See if you recognize any of these issues:

• Misused words —the word doesn’t actually mean what the writer thinks it does. Example : Cree Indians were a monotonous culture until French and British settlers arrived. Revision: Cree Indians were a homogenous culture.
• Words with unwanted connotations or meanings. Example : I sprayed the ants in their private places. Revision: I sprayed the ants in their hiding places.
• Using a pronoun when readers can’t tell whom/what it refers to. Example : My cousin Jake hugged my brother Trey, even though he didn’t like him very much. Revision: My cousin Jake hugged my brother Trey, even though Jake doesn’t like Trey very much.
• Jargon or technical terms that make readers work unnecessarily hard. Maybe you need to use some of these words because they are important terms in your field, but don’t throw them in just to “sound smart.” Example : The dialectical interface between neo-Platonists and anti-disestablishment Catholics offers an algorithm for deontological thought. Revision : The dialogue between neo-Platonists and certain Catholic thinkers is a model for deontological thought.
• Loaded language. Sometimes we as writers know what we mean by a certain word, but we haven’t ever spelled that out for readers. We rely too heavily on that word, perhaps repeating it often, without clarifying what we are talking about. Example : Society teaches young girls that beauty is their most important quality. In order to prevent eating disorders and other health problems, we must change society. Revision : Contemporary American popular media, like magazines and movies, teach young girls that beauty is their most important quality. In order to prevent eating disorders and other health problems, we must change the images and role models girls are offered.

Sometimes the problem isn’t choosing exactly the right word to express an idea—it’s being “wordy,” or using words that your reader may regard as “extra” or inefficient. Take a look at the following list for some examples. On the left are some phrases that use three, four, or more words where fewer will do; on the right are some shorter substitutes:

Keep an eye out for wordy constructions in your writing and see if you can replace them with more concise words or phrases.

In academic writing, it’s a good idea to limit your use of clichés. Clichés are catchy little phrases so frequently used that they have become trite, corny, or annoying. They are problematic because their overuse has diminished their impact and because they require several words where just one would do.

The main way to avoid clichés is first to recognize them and then to create shorter, fresher equivalents. Ask yourself if there is one word that means the same thing as the cliché. If there isn’t, can you use two or three words to state the idea your own way? Below you will see five common clichés, with some alternatives to their right. As a challenge, see how many alternatives you can create for the final two examples.

Try these yourself:

Writing for an academic audience

When you choose words to express your ideas, you have to think not only about what makes sense and sounds best to you, but what will make sense and sound best to your readers. Thinking about your audience and their expectations will help you make decisions about word choice.

Some writers think that academic audiences expect them to “sound smart” by using big or technical words. But the most important goal of academic writing is not to sound smart—it is to communicate an argument or information clearly and convincingly. It is true that academic writing has a certain style of its own and that you, as a student, are beginning to learn to read and write in that style. You may find yourself using words and grammatical constructions that you didn’t use in your high school writing. The danger is that if you consciously set out to “sound smart” and use words or structures that are very unfamiliar to you, you may produce sentences that your readers can’t understand.

When writing for your professors, think simplicity. Using simple words does not indicate simple thoughts. In an academic argument paper, what makes the thesis and argument sophisticated are the connections presented in simple, clear language.

Keep in mind, though, that simple and clear doesn’t necessarily mean casual. Most instructors will not be pleased if your paper looks like an instant message or an email to a friend. It’s usually best to avoid slang and colloquialisms. Take a look at this example and ask yourself how a professor would probably respond to it if it were the thesis statement of a paper: “Moulin Rouge really bit because the singing sucked and the costume colors were nasty, KWIM?”

Selecting and using key terms

When writing academic papers, it is often helpful to find key terms and use them within your paper as well as in your thesis. This section comments on the crucial difference between repetition and redundancy of terms and works through an example of using key terms in a thesis statement.

Repetition vs. redundancy

These two phenomena are not necessarily the same. Repetition can be a good thing. Sometimes we have to use our key terms several times within a paper, especially in topic sentences. Sometimes there is simply no substitute for the key terms, and selecting a weaker term as a synonym can do more harm than good. Repeating key terms emphasizes important points and signals to the reader that the argument is still being supported. This kind of repetition can give your paper cohesion and is done by conscious choice.

In contrast, if you find yourself frustrated, tiredly repeating the same nouns, verbs, or adjectives, or making the same point over and over, you are probably being redundant. In this case, you are swimming aimlessly around the same points because you have not decided what your argument really is or because you are truly fatigued and clarity escapes you. Refer to the “Strategies” section below for ideas on revising for redundancy.

Building clear thesis statements

Writing clear sentences is important throughout your writing. For the purposes of this handout, let’s focus on the thesis statement—one of the most important sentences in academic argument papers. You can apply these ideas to other sentences in your papers.

A common problem with writing good thesis statements is finding the words that best capture both the important elements and the significance of the essay’s argument. It is not always easy to condense several paragraphs or several pages into concise key terms that, when combined in one sentence, can effectively describe the argument.

However, taking the time to find the right words offers writers a significant edge. Concise and appropriate terms will help both the writer and the reader keep track of what the essay will show and how it will show it. Graders, in particular, like to see clearly stated thesis statements. (For more on thesis statements in general, please refer to our handout .)

Example : You’ve been assigned to write an essay that contrasts the river and shore scenes in Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn. You work on it for several days, producing three versions of your thesis:

Version 1 : There are many important river and shore scenes in Huckleberry Finn.

Version 2 : The contrasting river and shore scenes in Huckleberry Finn suggest a return to nature.

Version 3 : Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave “civilized” society and go back to nature.

Let’s consider the word choice issues in these statements. In Version 1, the word “important”—like “interesting”—is both overused and vague; it suggests that the author has an opinion but gives very little indication about the framework of that opinion. As a result, your reader knows only that you’re going to talk about river and shore scenes, but not what you’re going to say. Version 2 is an improvement: the words “return to nature” give your reader a better idea where the paper is headed. On the other hand, they still do not know how this return to nature is crucial to your understanding of the novel.

Finally, you come up with Version 3, which is a stronger thesis because it offers a sophisticated argument and the key terms used to make this argument are clear. At least three key terms or concepts are evident: the contrast between river and shore scenes, a return to nature, and American democratic ideals.

By itself, a key term is merely a topic—an element of the argument but not the argument itself. The argument, then, becomes clear to the reader through the way in which you combine key terms.

Strategies for successful word choice

• Be careful when using words you are unfamiliar with. Look at how they are used in context and check their dictionary definitions.
• Be careful when using the thesaurus. Each word listed as a synonym for the word you’re looking up may have its own unique connotations or shades of meaning. Use a dictionary to be sure the synonym you are considering really fits what you are trying to say.
• Under the present conditions of our society, marriage practices generally demonstrate a high degree of homogeneity.
• In our culture, people tend to marry others who are like themselves. (Longman, p. 452)
• Before you revise for accurate and strong adjectives, make sure you are first using accurate and strong nouns and verbs. For example, if you were revising the sentence “This is a good book that tells about the Revolutionary War,” think about whether “book” and “tells” are as strong as they could be before you worry about “good.” (A stronger sentence might read “The novel describes the experiences of a soldier during the Revolutionary War.” “Novel” tells us what kind of book it is, and “describes” tells us more about how the book communicates information.)
• Try the slash/option technique, which is like brainstorming as you write. When you get stuck, write out two or more choices for a questionable word or a confusing sentence, e.g., “questionable/inaccurate/vague/inappropriate.” Pick the word that best indicates your meaning or combine different terms to say what you mean.
• Look for repetition. When you find it, decide if it is “good” repetition (using key terms that are crucial and helpful to meaning) or “bad” repetition (redundancy or laziness in reusing words).
• Write your thesis in five different ways. Make five different versions of your thesis sentence. Compose five sentences that express your argument. Try to come up with four alternatives to the thesis sentence you’ve already written. Find five possible ways to communicate your argument in one sentence to your reader. (We’ve just used this technique—which of the last five sentences do you prefer?)Whenever we write a sentence we make choices. Some are less obvious than others, so that it can often feel like we’ve written the sentence the only way we know how. By writing out five different versions of your thesis, you can begin to see your range of choices. The final version may be a combination of phrasings and words from all five versions, or the one version that says it best. By literally spelling out some possibilities for yourself, you will be able to make better decisions.
• Read your paper out loud and at… a… slow… pace. You can do this alone or with a friend, roommate, TA, etc. When read out loud, your written words should make sense to both you and other listeners. If a sentence seems confusing, rewrite it to make the meaning clear.
• Instead of reading the paper itself, put it down and just talk through your argument as concisely as you can. If your listener quickly and easily comprehends your essay’s main point and significance, you should then make sure that your written words are as clear as your oral presentation was. If, on the other hand, your listener keeps asking for clarification, you will need to work on finding the right terms for your essay. If you do this in exchange with a friend or classmate, rest assured that whether you are the talker or the listener, your articulation skills will develop.
• Have someone not familiar with the issue read the paper and point out words or sentences they find confusing. Do not brush off this reader’s confusion by assuming they simply doesn’t know enough about the topic. Instead, rewrite the sentences so that your “outsider” reader can follow along at all times.
• Check out the Writing Center’s handouts on style , passive voice , and proofreading for more tips.

Questions to ask yourself

• Am I sure what each word I use really means? Am I positive, or should I look it up?
• Have I found the best word or just settled for the most obvious, or the easiest, one?
• Am I trying too hard to impress my reader?
• What’s the easiest way to write this sentence? (Sometimes it helps to answer this question by trying it out loud. How would you say it to someone?)
• What are the key terms of my argument?
• Can I outline out my argument using only these key terms? What others do I need? Which do I not need?
• Have I created my own terms, or have I simply borrowed what looked like key ones from the assignment? If I’ve borrowed the terms, can I find better ones in my own vocabulary, the texts, my notes, the dictionary, or the thesaurus to make myself clearer?
• Are my key terms too specific? (Do they cover the entire range of my argument?) Can I think of specific examples from my sources that fall under the key term?
• Are my key terms too vague? (Do they cover more than the range of my argument?)

Works consulted

We consulted these works while writing this handout. This is not a comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own research to find additional publications. Please do not use this list as a model for the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For guidance on formatting citations, please see the UNC Libraries citation tutorial . We revise these tips periodically and welcome feedback.

Anson, Chris M., and Robert A. Schwegler. 2010. The Longman Handbook for Writers and Readers , 6th ed. New York: Longman.

Cook, Claire Kehrwald. 1985. Line by Line: How to Improve Your Own Writing . Boston: Houghton Mifflin.

Grossman, Ellie. 1997. The Grammatically Correct Handbook: A Lively and Unorthodox Review of Common English for the Linguistically Challenged . New York: Hyperion.

Houghton Mifflin. 1996. The American Heritage Book of English Usage: A Practical and Authoritative Guide to Contemporary English . Boston: Houghton Mifflin.

O’Conner, Patricia. 2010. Woe Is I: The Grammarphobe’s Guide to Better English in Plain English , 3rd ed. New York: Penguin Publishing Group.

Tarshis, Barry. 1998. How to Be Your Own Best Editor: The Toolkit for Everyone Who Writes . New York: Three Rivers Press.

Williams, Joseph, and Joseph Bizup. 2017. Style: Lessons in Clarity and Grace , 12th ed. Boston: Pearson.

You may reproduce it for non-commercial use if you use the entire handout and attribute the source: The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

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6.4.5: Academic Writing Style, Wordiness and Concision

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Word Choice

Read this article about word choice.

What This Handout is About

This handout can help you revise your papers for word-level clarity, eliminate wordiness and avoid clichés, find the words that best express your ideas, and choose words that suit an academic audience.

Introduction

Writing is a series of choices. As you work on a paper, you choose your topic, your approach, your sources, and your thesis; when it is time to write, you have to choose the words you will use to express your ideas and decide how you will arrange those words into sentences and paragraphs. As you revise your draft, you make more choices.

You might ask yourself, "Is this really what I mean?" or "Will readers understand this?" or "Does this sound good?" Finding words that capture your meaning and convey that meaning to your readers is challenging. When your instructors write things like "awkward", vague", or "wordy" on your draft, they are letting you know that they want you to work on word choice. This handout will explain some common issues related to word choice and give you strategies for choosing the best words as you revise your drafts.

As you read further into the handout, keep in mind that it can sometimes take more time to "save" words from your original sentence than to write a brand new sentence to convey the same meaning or idea. Do not be too attached to what you have already written; if you are willing to start a sentence fresh, you may be able to choose words with greater clarity.

Awkward, Vague and Unclear Word Choice

So: you write a paper that makes perfect sense to you, but it comes back with "awkward" scribbled throughout the margins. Why, you wonder, are instructors so fond of terms like "awkward"? Most instructors use terms like this to draw your attention to sentences they had trouble understanding and to encourage you to rewrite those sentences more clearly.

Difficulties with word choice are not the only cause of awkwardness, vagueness, or other problems with clarity. Sometimes a sentence is hard to follow because there is a grammatical problem with it or because of the syntax (the way the words and phrases are put together). Here is an example: "Having finished with studying, the pizza was quickly eaten."

This sentence is not hard to understand because of the words I chose – everybody knows what studying, pizza, and eating are. The problem here is that readers will naturally assume that first bit of the sentence "(Having finished with studying") goes with the next noun that follows it – which, in this case, is "the pizza"! It does not make a lot of sense to imply that the pizza was studying. What I was actually trying to express was something more like this: "Having finished with studying, the students quickly ate the pizza." If you have a sentence that has been marked "awkward", "vague", or "unclear", try to think about it from a reader's point of view – see if you can tell where it changes direction or leaves out important information.

Sometimes, though, problems with clarity are a matter of word choice. See if you recognize any of these issues:

• Misused words – the word does not actually mean what the writer thinks it does. Example : Cree Indians were a monotonous culture until French and British settlers arrived. Revision : Cree Indians were a homogenous culture.
• Words with unwanted connotations or meanings. Example : I sprayed the ants in their private places. Revision : I sprayed the ants in their hiding places.
• Using a pronoun when readers cannot tell whom/what it refers to. Example : My cousin Jake hugged my brother Trey, even though he did not like him very much. Revision : My cousin Jake hugged my brother Trey, even though Jake does not like Trey very much.
• Jargon or technical terms that make readers work unnecessarily hard. Maybe you need to use some of these words because they are important terms in your field, but do not throw them in just to "sound smart". Example : The dialectical interface between neo-Platonists and anti-disestablishment Catholics offers an algorithm for deontological thought. Revision : The dialogue between neo-Platonists and certain Catholic thinkers is a model for deontological thought.
• Loaded language. Sometimes we as writers know what we mean by a certain word, but we have not ever spelled that out for readers. We rely too heavily on that word, perhaps repeating it often, without clarifying what we are talking about. Example : Society teaches young girls that beauty is their most important quality. In order to prevent eating disorders and other health problems, we must change society. Revision : Contemporary American popular media, like magazines and movies, teach young girls that beauty is their most important quality. In order to prevent eating disorders and other health problems, we must change the images and role models girls are offered.

Sometimes the problem is not choosing exactly the right word to express an idea – it is being "wordy", or using words that your reader may regard as "extra" or inefficient. Take a look at the following list for some examples. On the left are some phrases that use three, four, or more words where fewer will do; on the right are some shorter substitutes:

Keep an eye out for wordy constructions in your writing and see if you can replace them with more concise words or phrases.

Clichés

In academic writing, it is a good idea to limit your use of clichés. Clichés are catchy little phrases so frequently used that they have become trite, corny, or annoying. They are problematic because their overuse has diminished their impact and because they require several words where just one would do.

The main way to avoid clichés is first to recognize them and then to create shorter, fresher equivalents. Ask yourself if there is one word that means the same thing as the cliché. If there is not, can you use two or three words to state the idea your own way? Below you will see five common clichés, with some alternatives to their right. As a challenge, see how many alternatives you can create for the final two examples.

Try these yourself:

Writing for an Academic Audience

When you choose words to express your ideas, you have to think not only about what makes sense and sounds best to you, but what will make sense and sound best to your readers. Thinking about your audience and their expectations will help you make decisions about word choice.

Some writers think that academic audiences expect them to "sound smart" by using big or technical words. But the most important goal of academic writing is not to sound smart – it is to communicate an argument or information clearly and convincingly. It is true that academic writing has a certain style of its own and that you, as a student, are beginning to learn to read and write in that style.

You may find yourself using words and grammatical constructions that you did not use in your high school writing. The danger is that if you consciously set out to "sound smart" and use words or structures that are very unfamiliar to you, you may produce sentences that your readers cannot understand.

When writing for your professors, think simplicity. Using simple words does not indicate simple thoughts. In an academic argument paper, what makes the thesis and argument sophisticated are the connections presented in simple, clear language.

Keep in mind, though, that simple and clear does not necessarily mean casual. Most instructors will not be pleased if your paper looks like an instant message or an email to a friend. It is usually best to avoid slang and colloquialisms. Take a look at this example and ask yourself how a professor would probably respond to it if it were the thesis statement of a paper: " Moulin Rouge really bit because the singing sucked and the costume colors were nasty, KWIM?"

Selecting and Using Key Terms

When writing academic papers, it is often helpful to find key terms and use them within your paper as well as in your thesis. This section comments on the crucial difference between repetition and redundancy of terms and works through an example of using key terms in a thesis statement.

Repetition vs. Redundancy

These two phenomena are not necessarily the same. Repetition can be a good thing. Sometimes we have to use our key terms several times within a paper, especially in topic sentences. Sometimes there is simply no substitute for the key terms, and selecting a weaker term as a synonym can do more harm than good. Repeating key terms emphasizes important points and signals to the reader that the argument is still being supported. This kind of repetition can give your paper cohesion and is done by conscious choice.

In contrast, if you find yourself frustrated, tiredly repeating the same nouns, verbs, or adjectives, or making the same point over and over, you are probably being redundant. In this case, you are swimming aimlessly around the same points because you have not decided what your argument really is or because you are truly fatigued and clarity escapes you. Refer to the "Strategies" section below for ideas on revising for redundancy.

Building Clear Thesis Statements

Writing clear sentences is important throughout your writing. For the purposes of this handout, let's focus on the thesis statement – one of the most important sentences in academic argument papers. You can apply these ideas to other sentences in your papers.

A common problem with writing good thesis statements is finding the words that best capture both the important elements and the significance of the essay's argument. It is not always easy to condense several paragraphs or several pages into concise key terms that, when combined in one sentence, can effectively describe the argument.

However, taking the time to find the right words offers writers a significant edge. Concise and appropriate terms will help both the writer and the reader keep track of what the essay will show and how it will show it. Graders, in particular, like to see clearly stated thesis statements.

Example: You have been assigned to write an essay that contrasts the river and shore scenes in Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn . You work on it for several days, producing three versions of your thesis:

Version 1: There are many important river and shore scenes in Huckleberry Finn. Version 2: The contrasting river and shore scenes in Huckleberry Finn suggest a return to nature. Version 3: Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain's Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave "civilized" society and go back to nature.

Let's consider the word choice issues in these statements. In Version 1, the word "important" – like "interesting" – is both overused and vague; it suggests that the author has an opinion but gives very little indication about the framework of that opinion. As a result, your reader knows only that you are going to talk about river and shore scenes, but not what you are going to say. Version 2 is an improvement: the words "return to nature" give your reader a better idea where the paper is headed. On the other hand, she still does not know how this return to nature is crucial to your understanding of the novel.

Finally, you come up with Version 3, which is a stronger thesis because it offers a sophisticated argument and the key terms used to make this argument are clear. At least three key terms or concepts are evident: the contrast between river and shore scenes, a return to nature, and American democratic ideals.

By itself, a key term is merely a topic – an element of the argument but not the argument itself. The argument, then, becomes clear to the reader through the way in which you combine key terms.

Strategies for Successful Word Choice

• Be careful when using words you are unfamiliar with. Look at how they are used in context and check their dictionary definitions.
• Be careful when using the thesaurus. Each word listed as a synonym for the word you are looking up may have its own unique connotations or shades of meaning. Use a dictionary to be sure the synonym you are considering really fits what you are trying to say.
• Under the present conditions of our society, marriage practices generally demonstrate a high degree of homogeneity.
• In our culture, people tend to marry others who are like themselves. (Longman, p. 452)
• Before you revise for accurate and strong adjectives, make sure you are first using accurate and strong nouns and verbs. For example, if you were revising the sentence "This is a good book that tells about the Civil War", think about whether "book" and "tells" are as strong as they could be before you worry about "good". (A stronger sentence might read "The novel describes the experiences of a Confederate soldier during the Civil War." "Novel" tells us what kind of book it is, and "describes" tells us more about how the book communicates information.)
• Try the slash/option technique, which is like brainstorming as you write. When you get stuck, write out two or more choices for a questionable word or a confusing sentence, e.g., "questionable/inaccurate/vague/inappropriate". Pick the word that best indicates your meaning or combine different terms to say what you mean.
• Look for repetition. When you find it, decide if it is "good" repetition (using key terms that are crucial and helpful to meaning) or "bad" repetition (redundancy or laziness in reusing words).

Whenever we write a sentence we make choices. Some are less obvious than others, so that it can often feel like we have written the sentence the only way we know how. By writing out five different versions of your thesis, you can begin to see your range of choices. The final version may be a combination of phrasings and words from all five versions, or the one version that says it best. By literally spelling out some possibilities for yourself, you will be able to make better decisions.

• Read your paper out loud and at… a… slow… pace. You can do this alone or with a friend, roommate, TA, etc. When read out loud, your written words should make sense to both you and other listeners. If a sentence seems confusing, rewrite it to make the meaning clear.
• Instead of reading the paper itself, put it down and just talk through your argument as concisely as you can. If your listener quickly and easily comprehends your essay's main point and significance, you should then make sure that your written words are as clear as your oral presentation was. If, on the other hand, your listener keeps asking for clarification, you will need to work on finding the right terms for your essay. If you do this in exchange with a friend or classmate, rest assured that whether you are the talker or the listener, your articulation skills will develop.
• Have someone not familiar with the issue read the paper and point out words or sentences he/she finds confusing. Do not brush off this reader's confusion by assuming he or she simply does not know enough about the topic. Instead, rewrite the sentences so that your "outsider" reader can follow along at all times.

Questions to Ask Yourself

• Am I sure what each word I use really means? Am I positive, or should I look it up?
• Have I found the best word or just settled for the most obvious, or the easiest, one?
• Am I trying too hard to impress my reader?
• What is the easiest way to write this sentence? (Sometimes it helps to answer this question by trying it out loud. How would you say it to someone?)
• What are the key terms of my argument?
• Can I outline out my argument using only these key terms? What others do I need? Which do I not need?
• Have I created my own terms, or have I simply borrowed what looked like key ones from the assignment? If I have borrowed the terms, can I find better ones in my own vocabulary, the texts, my notes, the dictionary, or the thesaurus to make myself clearer?
• Are my key terms too specific? (Do they cover the entire range of my argument?) Can I think of specific examples from my sources that fall under the key term?
• Are my key terms too vague? (Do they cover more than the range of my argument?)

Works Consulted and Additional Resources

We consulted these works while writing the original version of this handout. This is not a comprehensive list of resources on the handout's topic, and we encourage you to do your own research to find the latest publications on this topic. Please do not use this list as a model for the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using.

The American Heritage Book of English Usage: A Practical and Authoritative Guide to Contemporary English (Boston: Houghton, 1996).

Anson, Chris M. and Robert A. Schwegler. The Longman Handbook for Writers and Readers, 2nd ed. (New York: Addison, 2001).

Grossman, Ellie. The Grammatically Correct Handbook: A Lively and Unorthodox Review of Common English for the Linguistically Challenged (New York: Hyperion, 1997).

Cook, Claire Kehrwald. Line by Line: How to Improve Your Own Writing (Boston: Houghton, 1985).

O'Conner, Patricia C. Woe is I: The Grammar Phobe's Guide to Better English in Plain English (New York: Putnam, 1996).

Tarshis, Barry. How to be Your Own Best Editor The Toolkit for Everyone Who Writes (New York: Three Rivers P, 1998).

Williams, Joseph. Style: Ten Lessons in Clarity and Grace, 6th ed. (New York, Addison, 2001).

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The goal of concise writing is to use the most effective words. Concise writing does not always have the fewest words, but it always uses the strongest ones. Writers often fill sentences with weak or unnecessary words that can be deleted or replaced. Words and phrases should be deliberately chosen for the work they are doing. Like bad employees, words that don't accomplish enough should be fired. When only the most effective words remain, writing will be far more concise and readable.

This resource contains general concision tips followed by very specific strategies for pruning sentences. For more help, visit the Purdue OWL's vidcast on cutting during the revision phase of the writing process .

1. Replace several vague words with more powerful and specific words.

Often, writers use several small and ambiguous words to express a concept, wasting energy expressing ideas better relayed through fewer specific words. As a general rule, more specific words lead to more concise writing. Because of the variety of nouns, verbs, and adjectives, most things have a closely corresponding description. Brainstorming or searching a thesaurus can lead to the word best suited for a specific instance. Notice that the examples below actually convey more as they drop in word count.

2. Interrogate every word in a sentence

Check every word to make sure that it is providing something important and unique to a sentence. If words are dead weight, they can be deleted or replaced. Other sections in this handout cover this concept more specifically, but there are some general examples below containing sentences with words that could be cut.

3. Combine Sentences.

Some information does not require a full sentence, and can easily be inserted into another sentence without losing any of its value. To get more strategies for sentence combining, see the handout on Sentence Variety .

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Avoid Fillers and Unnecessary Words in Writing

Whether you are writing a research paper , a dissertation , or another kind of academic writing , creating sentences that are strong and concise is important in conveying your message and arguments to your audience. In this article on writing and editing for wordiness (i.e., how to reduce word count), we focus on something you may not know you are doing: using too many filler words.

Why You Should Avoid Filler Words in Writing

Filler words are unnecessary words that many writers use, either intentionally or unintentionally, that do not contribute to clarifying their points or arguments. For example,  take a close look at this very sentence because there are some things we did here that you probably weren’t aware were problematic!  By reading this article, we hope you realize how toxic fillers are to your writing. So, if you want to draft more powerful sentences, read on!

Removing Fillers & Unnecessary Words

If you look at the last sentence of the preceding paragraph, you’ll find us guilty of our category 3 wordiness offense! That is, we used many filler words that we should have eliminated. (By the way, if you’re wondering what our other categories are, we’ve written about two others so far— nominalizations  and  preposition errors —and we’ll share a few more with you over the next few weeks!)

What are unnecessary words (filler words)?

Fillers are words that add no substantive meaning to a sentence and merely “fill the space.” Why are we discussing fillers (typically a habit from spoken language) when we’re writing about editing? Simply put, more often than we realize, we write how we speak. Take our blog, for example. We’ve intentionally written this in a conversational tone. (Have you found some of the fillers we’ve used?) While it’s okay for us to do so (since we’re not worried about word count and are aiming to deliver you informative and fun editing advice), if we were writing an academic or research paper, however, we would be more careful to write concisely.

For general and academic writing purposes, avoid fillers and other unnecessary words and phrases.

Let’s look at the following examples:

• There is an octopus sitting on top of my car.
• This is actually an interesting question.
• In order to apply the new method to our entire system, perhaps we should perform a local test.

Can you spot the fillers and other unnecessary words in the above sentences? Grammatically, these sentences are correct, but they would be shorter if we remove some unnecessary words.

• There is  an octopus sitting on top of my car. [10 words]
• This is  actually  an interesting question. [6 words]
• In order to  apply the new method to our  entire  system,  perhaps  we should perform a local test. [18 words]

Let’s look at the revisions below.

• An octopus  is sitting on my car. [7 words]
• This question  is interesting. [4 words]
• We should perform a local test  before applying  the new method to  our system . [14 words]

As shown in the examples above, eliminating filler words can significantly reduce your word count! On average, we’ve cut the word count of the sentences above by 25-30%. Look at your most recent writing. Now imagine it 25-30% leaner by eliminating fillers alone. Amazing, right? Wait until you apply our other word-count reduction rules!

How to Identify and Revise Fillers

To help you strengthen your writing and editing skills, we have compiled  a list of common fillers and other unnecessary words and phrases, below. While you can revise words and phrases in many ways, we’ve prepared some suggestions that work well in most situations.

Can you think of any other filler words you use regularly? After seeing our examples above, how would you edit your fillers? An even better way to ensure that your academic work is ready for submission to journals for publication is to receive  English editing services  from a professional editing service like Wordvice.

In the meantime, if you’d like to try a few more exercises, please see the example sentences below and see if you can remove the filler words.

• In the end, we’d like to choose option A.
• We just need to move on to the next task; otherwise, we’ll really run out of time.
• While we believe this project can be completed in three months, in order to do so, we will need to incur additional costs.
• In the event that I don’t make it on time, please start without me.
• With reference to the new project, it is possible that we will start next month.
• It is important to note that you can apply to the program at any time you want; however, due to the fact that we admit participants on a rolling basis, we may have no room left if you wait too long.

Answer key:

• We’d  like to choose option A.
• We need  to move on to the next task; otherwise,  we’ll run  out of time.
• While this  project can be completed in three months,  to  do so, we will need to incur additional costs.
• If  I don’t make it on time, please start without me.
• We can start  the new project next month.
• You  can apply to the program at any time; however, if you wait too long, we may not have any room  because  we admit participants on a rolling basis.

Wordvice Resources

In addition to filler words, writers often have questions about many other writing issues, such as what verb tenses to use in academic writing , how to use the active and passive voice , and various sentence structure rules . You can find answers to these and many other writing and grammar questions by visiting Wordvice’s Academic Resources and Writing & Editing Guide . 

Wordvice offers a full suite of English editing services and professional proofreading services . If you produce writing for business, check out our business editing services , which include report editing and document editing , before publishing those important documents or forwarding them to your clients and coworkers.

Additionally, before submitting your writing to your professor or journal for publication, be sure to receive academic editing services by professional editors , including dissertation editing and thesis editing to make sure your document is polished and ready for submission.

Tidy up wordy phrases

Make sentences concise by eliminating wordy phrases.

Wordy: In a situation in which a class is overenrolled, you may request that the instructor force-add you. Concise: When a class is overenrolled, you may ask the instructor to force-add you. Wordy: I will now make a few observations concerning the matter of contingency funds. Concise: I will now make a few observations about contingency funds. Wordy: There is a need for more careful inspection of all welds. Concise: You must inspect all welds more carefully. Inspect all welds more carefully. (Williams, 1985, p. 79)

Words to use

Here are some words you can use to de-clutter wordy phrases:

Instead of . . .

• the reason for
• for the reason that
• due to the fact that
• owing to the fact that
• in light of the fact that
• considering the fact that
• on the grounds that
• this is why
• because, since, why
• despite the fact that
• regardless of the fact that
• notwithstanding the fact that
• although, even, though
• in the event that
• if it should transpire/happen that
• under circumstances in which
• on the occasion of
• in a situation in which
• in reference to
• with regard to
• concerning the matter of
• where . . . is concerned
• it is crucial that
• it is necessary that
• there is a need/necessity for
• it is important that
• it is incumbent upon
• cannot be avoided
• must, should
• has the opportunity to
• is in a position to
• has the capacity for
• has the ability to
• it is possible that
• there is a chance that
• it could happen that
• the possibility exists for
• may, might, can, could
• in anticipation of
• subsequent to
• following on
• at the same time as
• simultaneously with
• before, after, as

Improving Your Writing Style

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Clear, Concise Sentences

Use the active voice

Put the action in the verb

Reduce wordy verbs

Reduce prepositional phrases

Reduce expletive constructions

Avoid using vague nouns

Avoid unneccessarily inflated words

Avoid noun strings

Transitional Words and Phrases

Connecting Ideas Through Transitions

Using Transitional Words and Phrases

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How to write your thesis

After years of work and study, you’re finally ready to write your thesis. whether you’ve been keeping your materials organised during the course of your studies in preparation for this day or you’re starting at square one, this article will give you some tips and ideas for writing your thesis to help reduce stress and make the process easier., organise your research and notes.

If you’re just starting your thesis programme, take some time to set up an organisation system you can use to keep all your research, notes and other materials organised. Since most theses are organised into chapters focusing on introductions, background information/literature reviews, materials and methods, results, discussions and conclusions/recommendations for future work, you can create folders on your computer to save documents, links and any other files relating to those categories. That way, when it comes times to start writing, you’ll have all your material readily available and already broken down into those topics. If you are ready to start writing, go through your material before you begin and organise based on what you’ll discuss in each chapter so you don’t have to go hunting for a specific piece of information during when you’re on a roll writing your literature review.

Determine what format your thesis will follow

As noted in the previous item, most theses adhere to a specific format: introduction, background information/literature review, materials and methods, results, discussion and conclusions/recommendations for future work. However, your specific programme of study may require you to follow a different format. If you haven’t already discussed this with your chair or advisor, do so before you begin writing to save yourself time and reduce frustration.

Set up a writing schedule

To avoid procrastinating, try creating a daily or weekly writing schedule. For example, commit to writing a specific number of words per day or per week or to finishing one section per day. By setting a schedule and following it, you can help make sure that you don’t fall behind (and avoid a mad rush to finish your thesis right before your deadline). However, make sure you build in some down time for yourself—finishing a thesis is a big job, and you don’t want to create a schedule that will lead to more stress.

Decide which chapter to start writing first, and start writing!

Although it may sound strange, many people don’t begin writing their theses with the introduction. It can be easier to begin with the literature review, which describes work that previous researchers conducted that relates to your area of study, or the materials/methods and results, where you describe the tests, studies, surveys, etc., you carried out. Writing these chapters is a much more straightforward process because you’re simply explaining what other researchers did or what you did and the results that you obtained. Once you’ve completed those chapters, you can then write the discussion chapter, where you discuss the relevance of your results; the introduction, which—you guessed it—introduces the topic of your thesis, explains the need for the research, presents the research problem and provides any other necessary context; and the conclusion, which summarises your work, presents its implications and any limitations and makes suggestions for future work.

Make sure you list all references

It’s important to remember that whenever you refer to someone else’s work or ideas in your paper, you have to provide a citation for that person within the text, and then you must provide a reference to that citation in the reference list at the end of the work. Likewise, if you list a reference in the list at the end of the work, you must cite that reference somewhere in the work. Presenting someone else’s ideas or work as your own is plagiarism, and academic institutions take it very seriously.

Prepare your supplementary materials

Theses also include a wealth of supplementary materials, including tables, figures, appendices, tables of contents, letters communicating with study subjects, references, etc. If you’re not sure whether something should be included in your thesis, discuss it with your chair or advisor to get their advice.

Format your thesis

Most programmes follow specific style guides when it comes to formatting theses. Your chair or advisor will provide you with a guide explaining how to format your thesis before you start writing; if you don’t receive one, check with your programme to make sure you have it. Following all the guidelines before submitting your thesis will help you avoid seeing your thesis returned because of incorrect margins or line spacing or references that aren’t formatted the right way.

Edit your work

Once you’ve written your chapters, added all your supplementary information and formatted all your references and the paper correctly, it’s time to edit your work—and then edit it again. Once you have checked the document yourself for missing, unclear or incorrect information; incorrect grammar, spelling and punctuation; and proper sentence structure, organisation and flow, have someone else check and proofread it for you . A second pair of eyes will often find mistakes that you’ve missed.

That’s how to write your thesis – happy writing and good luck!

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Great Ideas From Readers

How to Fix Wordy Writing

A writer and teacher shares a lesson for helping students understand the importance of clear, concise writing, and spotting needless words.

By Chelsey Philpot

This idea was submitted by Chelsey Philpot , who teaches nonfiction writing at Boston University. She is the author of two young adult novels (“Be Good Be Real Be Crazy” and “Even in Paradise”) and her work has been published in The New York Times, The Boston Globe, Slate and BuzzFeed.

Teachers might use this lesson to prepare students for The Learning Network’s second annual 100-Word Personal Narrative Contest , which is accepting submissions until Nov. 1.

Do you teach with The Times? Tell us about it here , or browse our full collection of reader ideas .

Lesson Overview

Rule 17: Omit needless words. — “The Elements of Style,” William Strunk Jr. and E.B. White

Of all the commandments contained in “The Elements of Style,” the ubiquitous writing guide by Cornell professor William Strunk Jr. and his former student, and author, E.B. White, Rule 17, “Omit needless words,” has proved to be the most pertinent in my writing classrooms.

When I was new to teaching writing to young adults and teenagers, I theorized that social media, texting and even our shortened attention spans meant that I should be ready for terse correspondences, malnourished prose and final assignments that just barely made the required word count.

I was way off.

Indeed, my experience teaching nonfiction writing to undergraduates and high school students has taught me that today’s nascent writers hand in assignments just as full of redundancies, unnecessary prepositions and fluff as those Cornell students presented to Strunk over a century ago.

In this lesson, students will learn the importance of concise, clear writing as well as techniques for spotting and omitting those pesky “needless” words.

Educators will need a whiteboard or whiteboard app such as Web Whiteboard or Whiteboard.fi to share definitions, examples and student responses.

1. Define “wordiness” and share examples.

Wordy sentences are sentences that contain more words than they require to clearly communicate a point or idea.

When teachers write “wordy,” “bloated” or “verbose” in the margins of a paper, they aren’t saying that a sentence is too long, nor that its structure is too complicated. Rather, they are stating that “needless” words are hindering the clear communication of the students’ ideas.

2. Introduce Rule 17.

If you haven’t used “The Elements of Style” in your classroom, give students a synopsis of the book’s history ( “‘The Elements of Style’ Turns 50” by Sam Roberts is a great resource for this) before sharing and explaining the dictum to “Omit needless words.”

3. Brainstorm in small groups.

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all sentences short, or avoid all detail and treat subjects only in outline, but that every word tell. — “The Elements of Style,” William Strunk, Jr. and E.B. White

Divide your class into small groups of three to five students. Ask each group to carefully read the above quotation before answering the questions below.

What does it mean to “omit needless words”?

What does it mean “that every word tell”?

Why is wordy writing problematic?

What are tactics you can use to spot wordy writing?

Can wordiness ever be a good thing?

Invite a member from each small group to record students’ responses on the classroom whiteboard or online whiteboard app. Bring the class together to discuss what the groups have shared.

If students did not come up with the following thoughts on their own, educators will want to add them to the whiteboard during discussion.

Wordiness is problematic because …

it can hinder the clear communication of ideas.

it can lead to readers losing interest.

it can make the text sound as though the writer is adding more words merely to meet a page or word-count quota.

Exercise: Create, Find and Fix Wordy Writing

This exercise helps students identify wordiness in their own writing by asking them (in small groups) to make a Times article wordy, then challenge their peers to edit the piece back to clarity and concision.

1. Choose and discuss.

Have each group select a recent New York Times article to make verbose.

If students have a Times subscription, they can choose their own articles. Encourage them to focus on headlines that seem to promise light subject matter (the Style section is a great place to start). Overall, your goal during this step is to avoid trivializing breaking news stories.

Here are some examples of articles that would work well:

On the Coney Island Boardwalk, It’s the Summer of Snakes (and a Wallaby) Are You Ready? The Nu Metal Renaissance Is Upon Us. A Long, Shining River of Verse, Flowing From a Rower and Writer She Steals Surfboards by the Seashore. She’s a Sea Otter. The Mango Is King of the Miami Summer This Ancient Whale May Have Been the Heaviest Animal Ever Furby, Is That You? The Dance of Too-Hot Summer? Melt Into the Pinegrove Shuffle.

And if you’re looking for short, but engaging, articles students can get through quickly, have them choose a Tiny Love Story from the Modern Love column or this handy teaching resource . Are your students taking part in this year’s 100-Word Personal Narrative Contest ? Ask them to select a work from among the 2022 contest winners .

Once groups have chosen a piece, each member should read it carefully before discussing the following questions:

What’s the article about?

How would you describe the article’s style?

Are there any places where the author uses more words than necessary?

2. Introduce common wordiness errors.

Once students have discussed their piece, take some time to go over common wordiness culprits. Come armed with plenty of examples, including some from students’ own work (be sure to redact anything that might identify the writer, or ask students beforehand for permission to use their work).

Here is a starter list of common wordy phrases that educators can share with their students and expand upon.

Redundancies

Repetitive expressions decorate our conversations so seamlessly that it’s no wonder phrases like “8 a.m. in the morning,” “join together,” “close proximity” and “A.T.M. machine” find their ways into student papers.

Needless or unintentional repetition

When repetition is used deliberately it can be a powerful communication tool, adding cadence to speeches, emphasis to ideas and poetic pauses that force readers to slow their pace. However, when students repeat ideas, words or phrases unthinkingly, repetition becomes a wordiness issue, leading to tangled sentences and confused or annoyed readers.

Sometimes bad repetition is obvious:

I have been playing soccer most of my life and it has played a significant role throughout my life.

The feeling I felt after the competition will stay with me forever.

Other times, identifying it requires students to slow down and think about the words they’ve chosen and their meaning:

I volunteered to coach illiterate adults who did not know how to read.

Strive to use active instead of passive verbs: I wrote the paper is easier to read than The paper was written by me .

Whenever possible, avoid using “to be” as your main verb: My sister is quick to reply to my texts, versus My sister replies to my texts promptly.

Watch out for nominalization (converting parts of speech such as verbs and adjectives into nouns) as it leads to clunky writing. For example, Margot made a distortion of the story, which made her plot difficult to follow, is three words longer than Margot distorted the story, which made her plot difficult to follow.

Preposition overload

Look for places where excessive prepositional phrases have caused bloat:

Students will understand the reason for the assignments being due exactly on the first of April once the latest version of the rubric for the assignment has been dispersed among all students.

Often, prepositions can be eliminated without changing a sentence’s meaning.

Add-nothing adjectives and adverbs

Adjectives and adverbs add nothing to a sentence when they’re redundant, nonsensical or simply not needed.

For example, the first of the following two sentences contains an unnecessary modifier, which the second version eliminates: Flynn yelled loudly for help after he saw the two cars collide, versus Flynn yelled for help after he saw the two cars collide.

No matter what the rules are, what matters is getting rid of words and phrases that are only taking up space. If they add nothing, they’ve got to go.

3. Inflate.

Now the fun begins.

Have students take the articles they’ve chosen and make them more wordy by replacing terms or phrases, adding modifiers, pumping up the prepositions, and doing whatever else they can do to increase sentences’ word counts without changing their meanings.

For example, from the article “ On the Coney Island Boardwalk, It’s the Summer of Snakes (and a Wallaby) ,” I took this delightful sentence:

The variety of wildlife available for photographs at Coney Island made headlines this month when a young man’s pet wallaby, that kangaroo-adjacent animal native to Australia, was seized on the boardwalk by the police. (34 words)

And made it into a barely readable behemoth:

The variety of different wildlife animals made available for photographs at Coney Island made attention-grabbing and interesting headlines this present month when a young man in his early 20s had his pet wallaby, that kangaroo-adjacent animal that comes from the country of Australia, seized and taken by police who were assigned to patrol Coney Island and who were on the boardwalk at the time the wallaby was spotted. (68 words)

4. Exchange and revise.

Have students put away their selected articles before asking groups to exchange the bloated sentences they’ve created with one another. Challenge student groups to revise their classmates’ wordy sentences until they’re clear and concise.

5. Compare versions and reflect.

Ask students to compare their revised sentences to their counterparts in the published articles.

Did students’ reworked versions come close to the original writing?

Did students’ versions fail to catch any needless words or phrases?

Do any of their sentences improve upon the original work?

I’ll leave you with a final thought: Can wordiness sometimes work? Sure, but as I tell my students many times a semester: You must know the rules before you can knowingly break them.