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Writing an effective comparison/contrast essay.

• Brainstorming and Prewriting
• Drafting a Thesis Statement
• Methods of Organization

1. Brainstorming and Prewriting

Recall that a comparison/contrast essay serves the purpose of examining the similarities and/or differences between two subjects. When you compare things, you show their similarities; when you contrast things, you show their differences.

The first step in writing a comparison/contrast essay is to brainstorm ideas and decide upon a topic. It is important that you find two things that have enough differences or similarities in order to be able to effectively compare or contrast them. If you choose two things that are too similar, you’ll struggle to find meaningful differences. If you choose two things that are too different, you’ll struggle to find meaningful comparisons.

During the brainstorming stage of the writing process, you can use a variety of activities to help you generate ideas for your topic. It can be helpful to make a list of similarities and differences between your two subjects, then choose the ones that are most important to use in your comparison/contrast essay. This will help you to see the multitude of similarities and differences, and then focus in on the most important ones to use in your essay. Clustering, or mapping, is another way to generate ideas using words and shapes, and lines that show the connections between them.

When deciding upon a topic, here are some helpful tips to keep in mind:

• There are unending things that you can compare/contrast, and choosing two might seem overwhelming. Some common themes for a comparison/contrast essay may include events (Battle of Fort Sumter versus Battle of Sewell’s Point), situations (riding the bus versus driving to work), people (a CEO versus a CFO of a company), places (London versus Tokyo).
• A good approach for beginner writers can be to pick two things that are in the same overarching category (foods, animals, locations, people, events, etc.) but differ in some significant ways. This can make it easier to see the similarities as well as the differences.
• Don’t forget to consider the “So what?” question when deciding on your topic. Why are you choosing this topic? Why should anyone care? Is it at all meaningful? You should be able to explain to your reader why it is useful that they understand the similarities or differences between these two topics.
• Ghandi and Martin Luther King Jr. (historical figures)
• The 1960s and today (two eras in time)
• A pop singer and a country singer (genres of singers)
• Oprah and Ellen (talk show hosts)
• Online college courses and in person college courses (ways to take college courses)
• Communism and Socialism (belief systems)
• Solar power and wind energy (environmental issues)

An outline can be a useful tool during prewriting to help you further develop the ideas and organization of your essay. Creating an outline will help you plan the way in which you want to organize your body paragraphs, and which details you want to include in each. This will help you to produce a sort of roadmap for your essay.

2. Drafting a Thesis Statement

A good thesis statement is the cornerstone of any academic essay. During the brainstorming and prewriting steps, you will have selected a topic and chosen your strongest main points to either compare or contrast within your essay. This will help you further develop your thesis statement. A good thesis statement should convey the main points of your essay, and should avoid being overly generic. A thesis statement such as “Dogs and cats have many similarities, but they also have some differences,” doesn’t do a very good job of informing the reader of exactly what will be covered in the essay because it is very vague. What are those similarities and differences? Why should the reader care?

Instead, a good thesis statement should provide more information on which points of comparison or contrast will be discussed in the essay. Below are some templates you can consider as you begin to draft your thesis statement. A good thesis statement is not required to follow one of these patterns, but as a beginner writer, you may find that they provide a helpful starting point.

For an essay contrasting two subjects, your thesis statement may look something like this:

[subject] and [subject] may appear similar, but they differ in [first], [second], and [third].

Or, if you are comparing two subjects, your thesis statement might look something like this:

[subject] and [subject] do not appear to have a lot in common, but they are very similar in [first], [second], and [third].

A thesis statement might meaningfully contrast two subjects using the template above, like this:

"Paris and Tokyo are both large metropolitan cities, but they differ in terms of their job opportunities, average income, and living expenses."

Notice how the primary emphasis in the above thesis is about how the two cities differ based on the three points the author chose to focus on: job opportunities, income, and living expenses. This thesis statement gives the reader a clear idea of the specific points of contrast that will be covered within the body of the essay.

3. Methods of Organization

Now that you have your working thesis statement, you’re ready to begin thinking about how to organize the body paragraphs within your essay. There are two primary ways in which the body paragraphs can be organized— the point-by-point method and the block method. The organizing strategy that you choose will depend on your audience and purpose, and should also align with your thesis statement. You may also consider your particular approach to the subjects as well as the nature of the subjects themselves; some subjects might better lend themselves to one structure or the other.

The point-by-point method is one method of paragraph development and organization for a comparison/contrast essay. It’s also known as the alternating format method. When you use the point-by-point method, you are choosing one point of comparison and then writing one paragraph about each of your subjects that shows how they are similar or different.

• Introduction + thesis statement
• Body paragraph 1: Job opportunities in Paris
• Body paragraph 2: Job opportunities in Tokyo
• Body paragraph 3: Average income in Paris
• Body paragraph 4: Average income in Tokyo
• Body paragraph 5: Living expenses in Paris
• Body paragraph 6: Living expenses in Tokyo

This organizational pattern discusses two or three main points about one subject and then two or three main points about the second subject. If you choose this method, pay special attention to transition use to help guide your reader.

• Body paragraph 2: Average income in Paris
• Body paragraph 3: Living expenses in Paris
• Body paragraph 4: Job opportunities in Tokyo
• Body paragraph 5: Average income in Tokyo
• Body paragraph 1: Atmosphere/ambiance of Restaurant A
• Body paragraph 2: Atmosphere/ambiance of Restaurant B
• Body paragraph 3: The prices and service of Restaurant A
• Body paragraph 4: The prices and service of Restaurant B
• Body paragraph 5: Convenience/location/opening hours of Restaurant A
• Body paragraph 6: Convenience/location/opening hours of Restaurant B
• Body paragraph 1: The atmosphere/ambiance of Restaurant A
• Body paragraph 2: The prices and service at Restaurant A
• Body paragraph 3: Convenience/location/opening hours of Restaurant A
• Body paragraph 4: The atmosphere/ambiance of Restaurant B
• Body paragraph 5: The prices and service at Restaurant B
• Thesis statement: The two Italian restaurants in town differ significantly in atmosphere, prices and service, and convenience.
• Upscale, dim lighting, romantic, smaller dining room, more quaint setting
• High prices, excellent service
• Good location, accepts reservations, open 7 days a week from 11 am - 10 pm
• Kitsch theme to decor, not as upscale, family-style dining, large dining room
• Lower prices, generally good service, but often slower due to the restaurant being larger and more crowded
• Difficult to find parking, does not accept reservations, open 6 days a week from 10 am - 10 pm
• Thesis statement: While paper and plastic bags from the grocery store serve the same general purpose, they differ in environmental impact and convenience.
• Easy to recycle or compost, made from a renewable source
• Does not compost, contributes to plastic pollution, made from a non-renewable source
• Typically larger than plastic bags, can hold more groceries, easier to recycle when you’re done with them, tear more easily than plastic bags (less strong)
• Holds less than paper bags, but is stronger, easier to carry multiple plastic bags at once due to larger handles, can be reused for other purposes

hint As a reminder, in this course the emphasis is on using comparison/contrast essays to practice writing within the informative mode. Therefore, you should compare or contrast your subjects using academic language and an objective/unbiased tone to inform your reader about the similarities or differences.

summary In this lesson, we’ve examined how to begin organizing and drafting a comparison/contrast essay. Remember that topic choice is vital in this type of essay and you should choose two subjects that connect in a meaningful way. The rest of your essay will then draw out those connections, whether they be similarities or differences. The specific way in which you organize your body paragraphs will be largely determined by your topic and subjects, your audience, and your purpose. Finally, while there is no clear cut formula for writing a comparison/contrast essay, we explored a few tips that can help make the process a little bit easier.

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Department of Liberal Arts

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The Faculty’s rigorous academic programs are designed to equip students with flexible and critical thinking skills, linguistic abilities, and cultural competencies necessary to navigate today’s increasingly multicultural and complex world, and to take the lead in bridging differences and promoting mutual understanding. Comparatively small class sizes, diversity in the student body, which comprises over fifty nationalities, and highly qualified professors from diverse backgrounds provide an ideal environment for achieving the FLA’s educational mission.

The FLA offers an English-taught liberal arts curriculum which enables students to acquire a strong academic foundation and intellectual orientation before selecting a disciplinary major.

During the first year, students are required to take “core courses” which train them thoroughly in critical thinking skills as well as in writing and public speaking skills. From the second year onward, the FLA curriculum requires students to choose a major from among three broad areas (Comparative Culture, International Business and Economics, and Social Studies), and to study that field in close connection with neighboring disciplines. In the junior and senior years, students take advanced courses in their selected major, while continuing to take courses outside their major. This interdisciplinary orientation is designed to foster students’ ability to approach issues from multiple perspectives.

※ Please see the syllabus at the Sophia University website for details.

The FLA Core Program comprises a set of required courses for degree students.These courses include a sequence of composition courses, a public speaking course, and a course in critical thinking. Before the beginning of classes in both the spring and autumn semesters, all incoming students take a placement test to determine where in the sequence of Core Program courses they will begin. Students are expected to complete Core Program requirements during their first and second years of study. The Core Program ser ves several purposes within the FLA curriculum. Besides developing the critical reading, writing, and thinking skills needed at the college level, the Core Program curriculum helps students grasp the expansive and interdisciplinary nature of a liberal arts education and, through a close engagement with a wide range of texts and topics, prepares them for choosing a major field of study. The learning goals and objectives of the Core Program emphasize the development of clear, effective, and critical communication in both speaking and writing, as well as the habits of mind that foster integrative thinking and the ability to transfer knowledge and skills from one setting to another.

The Sophia Writing Center offers writing assistance for all students in the Faculty of Liberal Arts. Whether the student is working on an essay in one of the required courses in the Core Program or a research paper in an advanced course in the student’s chosen major, the tutors at the Writing Center can help. Tutorials can be scheduled from Monday to Friday. These tutorials are conducted by graduate students in the Graduate Program in Global Studies and exceptional undergraduate students in the FLA program. Tutorials are given on an individual basis, providing students with an opportunity to examine their ideas and arguments with an accomplished writer. Students can then revise their written work to satisfy the requirements of the assignment. In addition to individual tutorials, the Writing Center offers several workshops each semester, focusing on topics such as principles of academic writing and documenting sources. You will be introduced to the Writing Center at the beginning of your first semester, and its helpful services will be available to you throughout your college career.

General Studies (GS) courses allow students to study beyond a specialized area, facilitating interdisciplinary understanding of academic fields and reflection upon fundamental human and social issues. The scope of courses is broad, and in addition to Studies in Christian Humanism, Language, Liberal Arts of the Body, Data Science, offers GS distribution courses in three categories: Society and Culture, Cultural Traditions, and Politics and Economy. Furthermore, the various Elective Courses allow students to acquire a solid foundation in Computer Studies, Environmental Issues, Geography, Mathematics, and Statistics.

1. Comparative Culture

Comparative Culture (CC) is an interdisciplinary major in the humanities focusing on the fields of Art History/Visual Culture, Literature, and Religion and Philosophy. Dealing with a variety of cultural traditions, Art History/Visual Culture covers all fields of art and visual culture, such as architecture, painting, sculpture, photography, film, and mass media. The field of Literature explores the epics, novels, poetry, theatrical works, and other genres produced in a variety of cultures.

Religion and Philosophy focuses on understanding the philosophical and religious orientations of different cultures as expressed in myths, philosophical and religious texts, the arts, rituals, and ethical practices. Many of the courses in the three fields of study share overlapping themes and interests. In particular, all three fields focus on understanding how peoples of different cultural traditions have attempted to understand themselves as well as those of other cultures. In addition, Comparative Culture focuses on developing students’ skills in critical reading and writing as well as in interpreting their own and other cultures. Comparative Culture thus aims to prepare students for a range of career tracks and life situations in an age that is increasingly marked by globalization, the encounter of different cultures, and the emergence of multi-cultural societies and workplaces.

To see course descriptions, please click the link below, which will take you the Syllabus Inquiry page on Loyola.

2. International Business and Economics

The International Business and Economics (IBE) major offers a unique opportunity for students to study both business and economics in a single major. The IBE program allows students to develop the strong skill sets required for employment in a wide range of fields. Students first build solid foundations by taking fundamental courses in microeconomics, macroeconomics, management, marketing, accounting and statistics and then acquire advanced knowledge and skills in the area of their interest with courses such as internationaltrade, international finance, financial management, industrial organization and consumer behavior.

Class lectures often involve in-class discussions, group assignments, and frequent interactions with students of diverse backgrounds from all over the world. The program thus enables students to experience a fully international, multicultural environment, which in turn allows them to make the smooth transition from college education to the international workplace. In addition, the flexible nature of the FLA program allows students to immerse themselves in classes outside of IBE – such as anthropology and religion – while taking up a foreign language and/or studying in other faculties at Sophia.

3. Social Studies

Social Studies is a core component of any liberal arts curriculum. The Social Studies major comprises three concentrations – History, Political Science, and Anthropology-Sociology.

It seeks to give students a deeper understanding of the social, political, and cultural environment in which they live, and to liberate them from being bound to their immediate milieu. Students majoring in Social Studies receive training in a wide range of job-relevant skills, including analytic reading, writing, logical thinking, data gathering, presentation, discussion, and group work.

However, the main purpose of the Social Studies major is not to train students in technical skills. It is rather to encourage students to reflect upon the customs, principles, institutions, and values which inform the societies they live in, and to contribute to their betterment. Students majoring in Social Studies are required to choose a primary field and a secondary field from the three concentrations available within the major. Major courses build systematically, from introductory lectures to advanced, small-sized seminars. The curriculum emphasizes fostering intellectual curiosity, encouraging independent research, and exposure to a variety of perspectives.

The Faculty of Liberal Arts [FLA] provides an all-English liberal arts education in the fields of Comparative Culture, International Business and Economics, and Social Studies. While offering courses in such fields as well as cross-disciplinary courses, so as to allow a more organic, comprehensive understanding in the field, the FLA also aims to help students to achieve advanced language proficiency and intellectual criticality and flexibility in order to act as mediators between different cultures and countries. Through academic training and research, the FLA contributes to the understanding of current affairs in today’s globalized world and also to the solving of the various social issues we face.

The purpose of the FLA education is to nurture students’ cosmopolitan outlook, their language ability, and flexibility in thinking in order to act as bridges between different cultures within the context of globalization.

The Faculty of Liberal Arts sets standards for the skills and knowledge students should acquire before graduation as described below. Those who have fulfilled the requirements will be awarded a diploma.

• A well-rounded interdisciplinary education and a highly-developed ability to think and communicate in English.
• The intellectual capacity to approach particular issues from both highly specialized and broad general perspectives.
• The capability to integrate themselves in multi-cultural environments and participate in communal activities to contribute to the better understanding of various important socio-cultural issues.

In accordance with the Diploma Policy, the Faculty of Liberal Arts constructs its curriculum with courses aligned with the following purposes.

• To develop the ability to think critically about a wide range of social and cultural issues, and to become proficient in discussing such matters in English. The Core Program is specifically designed to train students in these foundational skills.
• To extend their capacity to understand the multiplicity of societies and cultures in the world by taking a range of courses in the three distribution categories: Society and Culture, Cultural Traditions, Politics and Economy.
• To acquire specialized knowledge in one of the three majors (Comparative Culture, International Business and Economics, Social Studies) while continuing to take courses from neighboring areas.By studying courses in various disciplines, students will obtain a broad and flexible perspective on important issues in today’s world.

The Faculty of Liberal Arts of Sophia University welcomes students who are:

• Motivated to become active and responsible members of the global community and to participate in the creation of social, economic, and humanistic values essential for its sustenance and betterment.
• Intellectually curious and eager to improve their communication and analytical skills to constructively interact with others from diverse socio-cultural backgrounds.
• Prepared to expand further their knowledge so that they become able to identify and approach with competence global issues.

Comparative Culture

Shion kono professor.

Noriko MURAI Professor

Matthew Carl STRECHER Professor

Angela YIU Professor

Edward DROTT Associate Professor

Tatsuo MURAKAMI Associate Professor

Kiyokazu OKITA Associate Professor

Mathew THOMPSON Associate Professor

Yen Yi CHAN Assistant Professor

Akiko FRISCHHUT Assistant Professor

Hannah HOLTZMAN Assistant Professor

International Business and Economics

Parissa haghirian professor.

Naoto ISAKA Professor

Yacob KHOJASTEH Professor

Akihito ASANO Associate Professor

Peter De MAEYER Associate Professor

Gabriel Fuentes CORDOBA Associate Professor

Takuya HASEBE Associate Professor

Michiru SAKANE Associate Professor

Junko UENISHI Associate Professor

Social Studies

Tadashi anno professor.

Tina BURRETT Professor

James FARRER Professor

Bettina GRAMLICH-OKA Professor

Takeshi ITO Professor

Koichi NAKANO Professor

Sven SAALER Professor

David SLATER Professor

Christian HESS Associate Professor

Yuka MINAGAWA Associate Professor

Takehiro WATANABE Associate Professor

Ilju KIM Assistant Professor

Gary G FOGAL Associate Professor

Chris HARWOOD Associate Professor

Dennis KOYAMA Associate Professor

Hanako OKADA Associate Professor

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6 Awesome Yale University Essay Examples

What’s covered:.

• Essay 1: Immigration Reform  
• Essay 2: Artificial Intelligence
• Essay 3: Shaping Education Systems
• Essay 4: Biomechanics
• Essay 5: Why This Major
• Essay 6: Why Yale
• Where to Get Your Yale Essays Edited  

Yale is one of the top universities in the country, and a member of the prestigious Ivy League. Earning a spot at this highly coveted university is no easy feat, but having strong essays is one step in the right direction.

In this post, we will share six essays real students have submitted to Yale. We will also be covering what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement. Hopefully, you will have a better idea of how to write your Yale essays after reading through these!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Read our Yale essay breakdown to get a comprehensive overview of this year’s supplemental prompts.

Essay #1: Immigration Reform

Prompt: Yale students, faculty, and alumni engage issues of local, national, and international importance. Discuss an issue that is significant to you and how your college experience could help you address it. (250 words)

A chaotic sense of sickness and filth unfolds in an overcrowded border station in McAllen, Texas. Through soundproof windows, migrants motion that they have not showered in weeks and children wear clothes caked in mucus and tears. The humanitarian crisis at the southern border exists not only in photographs published by mainstream media, but miles from my home in South Texas.

As a daughter of immigrants, I have heard countless stories of migrants being turned away by a country they desperately seek to love. After seeing the abhorrent conditions migrants face upon arriving in the U.S., I began volunteering with Loaves and Fishes, an organization that shelters and provides necessities to undocumented immigrants. This year, my experiences collecting donations and working at pop-up soup kitchens have made me realize that the communities in South Texas promote true American values of freedom and opportunity. The U.S. government, however, must do better.

During my university career, I aspire to learn how our immigration system can be positively reformed by considering the politics and economics that shape policy-making. Particularly, classes such as Institutional Design and Institutional Change will prepare me to effect change in existing institutions by analyzing various methods to bolster the economy. 

Additionally, I hope to join the Yale Refugee Project that volunteers at the southern border and prepares asylum cases for court. With the numerous opportunities offered by YRP, I will be part of a generation of activists and lawmakers that builds a more empathetic immigration system.

What the Essay Did Well

This essay draws its strength from its roots in the applicant’s personal experience and its connections to Yale-specific opportunities. Here, we learn a bit about the applicant’s story, values, and fit for Yale, all well-encapsulated within the 250-count word limit. 

The essay starts off with a fantastic imagery-rich anecdote, a strong way to draw your reader in. The student quickly establishes not only the problem’s dire extent but also a personal connection; this issue resides in her own backyard. Here, she establishes that immigrant mistreatment is more than a faraway crisis to her, offering crucial background behind her passion for it.

Her attitude towards getting things done is evident through her concise writing. She succinctly describes the steps she has taken like “ volunteering with Loaves and Fishes ” and “ collecting donations and working at pop-up soup kitchens. ” She then goes on to plainly explain the classes and organization at Yale that closely align with her goals, making it quite easy to imagine the role she would play on campus. Being concise and intentional with your ideas maintains the reader’s interest as they grow to trust that each sentence will carry interesting content that differs from that within the sentence before it.

This essay is wise in that it honed in on very specific opportunities at Yale that align perfectly with the student’s passions. Notice how YRP’s mission mirrors that of Loaves and Fishes in their shared goal to better southern immigrant communities. YRM’s opportunities for helping immigrants through the world of law offer an almost “grown-up” version of the work this student has already completed; here, she shows a willingness to build upon her experience and to push herself even further.

What Could Be Improved

If there is one area of this essay that could be strengthened, it is the conclusion. As the word count is tight, this student doesn’t have space for an entire paragraph, so at the moment she used this sentence: “ With the numerous opportunities offered by YRP, I will be part of a generation of activists and lawmakers that builds a more empathetic immigration system. ” 

This sentence is more a conclusion for her discussion about the Yale Refugee Project, although alluding to a “generation of activists and lawmakers” and building a “more empathetic immigration system” suggests a forward-looking conclusion statement. That being said, it could be made stronger by separating the conclusion from the Yale Refugee Project and possibly tying back to previous ideas like the situation at the border or her call for the government to improve. 

Essay #2: Artificial Intelligence

Prompt: Think about an idea or topic that has been intellectually exciting for you. Why are you drawn to it? (250 words) 

Her name is Sophia. Described by many as compassionate, sexy, and a witty twitter icon, Sophia embodies success and holds a level of intelligence humans can only dream of. Sophia is not your average girl. In fact, she’s not a girl at all. Created in an artificial intelligence lab in Hong Kong, Sophia is the most famous android in the world. 

When I first read about Sophia the Robot and its apparent ability to feel emotions, I was intrigued yet perplexed. For years, A.I. has revolutionized technology, enabling tasks to be performed rapidly and skillfully. But the single characteristic I long believed separated humans and A.I. was humans’ ability to express emotions. Today, with emotional A.I. undergoing expeditious development, I find myself wondering what actually makes us human. Can only humans have a mind with consciousness and thought? Will machines be able to imitate the human mind or can they perceive emotions only through algorithms? How do humans learn to feel emotions? What is the mind? 

As a philosophy enthusiast, I am fascinated by the potential for A.I. to recreate the human mind. From Descartes postulating that the mind is identified by a self-awareness to early monists arguing that the mind is a purely physical construct, philosophical theories seek to understand the mysterious minds of humans that science cannot fully explain. In college, I hope to study the Philosophy of Mind and Artificial Intelligence in order to better understand our minds and the technology that is increasingly resembling them. 

This is an amazing essay because not only do we see this student’s fascination with AI, but we see the effect it has had on their outlook on the world. By the end of the essay we are left wondering “what is the topic that intellectually excites this student?” Is it AI or the philosophy of the mind? Seamlessly intertwining these two topics is quite impressive.  

So how did this student convince us of their fascination for two ideas? They showed us. Although they tell us “ I was intrigue d” about AI, we see their interest in their discussion of Sophia. Describing Sophia as “ compassionate, sexy, and a witty twitter icon ” makes the AI appear on a pedestal. Using cliche phrases like “ Sophia is not your average girl ” emulates a discussion you would have about a real person you are in love with, which becomes all the more humorous when we are told right after Sophia isn’t human. 

While this student employs descriptive writing, humorous cliches, and subverted expectations to demonstrate their fascination with AI, we see their interest in philosophy through the use of rhetorical questions. Similarly with the topic of AI, the student plainly states their interest in philosophy by referring to themself as a “ philosophy enthusiast. ” But we see that enthusiasm jump off the page when they ask four consecutive philosophical questions. Bringing the reader into their head is such an effective way to convey your inner-most thoughts without losing the reader’s attention. We are a part of this inquiry and suddenly become just as curious to the answers as the student is.

Through these varied writing techniques—another way to keep your essay interesting—both of this student’s fascinations are well-represented. The last line brings everything together in a neat package, explaining how they can explore both topics as one in college.

There is honestly very little this essay needs to improve upon, but one suggestion would be to include Sophia in the latter half of the essay. Since Sophia epitomizes the fusion of AI and the human mind, this is such a perfect symbol for this student. Adding a rhetorical question about Sophia (ie “ Does anything separate me from Sophia? “) or referencing their hope to understand Sophia’s role in humanity after a Yale education in the conclusion would be easy ways to keep the idea sustained throughout the essay. 

Essay #3: Shaping Education Systems

Each time we handed homework back, our primary school students would anxiously start counting and comparing the number of corrections. The warning that “ a mistake on the Gaokao will cost you thousands of places to your dream university! ” had already been drilled into their heads. 

The combined efforts of generous government spending and unreserved sacrifices of parents have guaranteed education for most Chinese children. After two summers of teaching English in rural Chinese schools, I’ve realised that the problem isn’t funding, but a redundant system.

My friend and I founded Project Take Flight to propose learning driven by curiosity rather than pressure, earned by exploring rather than memorising. After two weeks with quirky essay prompts, vocab games, improvised debates and a lesson titled ”How to Fail”, students’ creativity flowed and the stigma of making mistakes seemed forgotten.

But there’s a limit to the impact of two high-school students; education systems around the world need nation-wide policies that do not just provide the resources but also ensure they are used effectively. Putting students in school might equip us with the skills necessary in the “world of tomorrow”, but education at its best – the type I hope to experience at Yale – enables us to have a say in what that world will look like. I want to understand the processes of curricula development and policymaking through taking courses in Educational Studies alongside my major so I can contribute to shaping an education system where every student can learn for causes greater than themselves.

The prompt asks for an issue that is significant to you, and this student certainly did that! Although education reform is a fairly general topic on its own, the focus is on the work this student has done through the club they founded and the problems they have observed because of their hands-on experience. This is a good example of making a broad idea personal and therefore successful.

The student is able to show the difference between the traditional education system and the innovative approach they implemented with concrete examples. The mantra they include about every mistake affecting your chances of college echoes the sentiments of stressed high school students, but the fact it has been adopted by kids in primary school is this student’s way of demonstrating how broken the system is. They contrast the old with the new by showing how they made learning fun and stress-free with “ q uirky essay prompts, vocab games, improvised debates and a lesson titled ‘How to Fail’ .”

Although this essay hints at how this student wants to reform the education system, we are largely provided with very little about their actual plans. We have seen their ingenuity at starting Project Take Flight in high school, but we want to know how they will expand on their passion with a Yale education.

Rather than telling us “ I want to understand the processes of curricula development and policymaking through taking courses in Educational Studies, ” this student should have 1) included more resources at Yale and 2) described their idea to improve the education system. Admissions officers know you are young and can’t accomplish much yet, but they also know you have dreams—tell us about them!

Something like this would have accomplished both point more effectively: “ I want Project Take Flight to spread its wings and touch students all over the globe. Through the course Money in American Politics I will learn the tools needed to lobby Congress to adopt a student-focused curriculum. Working under Professor Nancy Close, I will acquire an expertise in child psychology to reform my proposed curriculum to best suit the needs of children from the New York city public schools to the rural villages of China that started it all.”

Essay #4: Biomechanics

Prompt: Yale’s extensive course offerings and vibrant conversations beyond the classroom encourage students to follow their developing intellectual interests wherever they lead. Tell us about your engagement with a topic or idea that excites you. Why are you drawn to it? (250 words)

My heel strikes the pavement, calf muscles flexed to brace for the mechanical load of the impact. As my weight shifts forward, I imagine horizontal velocity vectors extending directly ahead. The angle created by my knee increases as I hit the propulsion phase of my stride, and with a final drive of force, I push off from my forefoot.

I discovered my fascination with sports biomechanics in the USC Biomechanics Research Lab. In my research project, I apply scientific principles to running to prevent stress-induced injuries in athletes. By analyzing video frames of PAC-12 athletes in motion and linking them to force plate data, I seek to understand the forces behind running. Comparing these conclusions to the data of athletes after a stress fracture, I can deduce the tangible differences that increase susceptibility to injury. To accomplish this goal, I have learned to use Python and MATLAB to sync the video and force plate data to create graphs for analysis. I have also used sports analysis programs to identify the locations of joints in individual frames and create videos overlaid by force vectors. Through this work, I hope to use my passion for sports biomechanics to improve the health of athletes.

My interest in sports biomechanics also extends outside of the lab, where I see my knowledge in motion. Neighborhood runs are scientific feats where I analyze my movements with principles of physics. With every step, I seek to improve my performance, putting sports biomechanics into action as an athlete.

This is a very detailed essay that is able to convey complex academic ideas in a manner that is easily understood by the reader. Not only that, but the high level of detail also demonstrates the passion this student has for sports biometrics.

Right off the bat, the hook at the beginning brings a high level of energy and excitement to the essay: “ My heel strikes the pavement, calf muscles flexed. ” However, the introduction isn’t just for sheer shock value; they introduce the intellectual aspect of running. Details about “ horizontal velocity vectors ,” the “ angle created by my knee ,” and the “ propulsion phase ” immediately demonstrate the depth of knowledge this student has.

Their intellect only grows in the second paragraph with the multitude of details they use to describe their research project. Breaking down their process step-by-step allows the reader to appreciate all this student has accomplished, even if we know nothing about sports biometrics. We walk away from this essay blown away with this student’s abilities and a clear understanding of their intellectual vitality. 

This essay does an excellent job explaining how this student has explored their passion for sports biometrics, but a key detail is missing: why are they passionate about it.

They tell us about how their goal of pursuing sports biometrics is to “ prevent stress-induced injuries in athletes, ” but how did this become this student’s purpose? Maybe this student sustained an injury when they were younger that prevented them from playing for two seasons and made them feel like they had lost a part of themselves. That would have made a great introductory anecdote. Or perhaps organization is a cornerstone of their personality which led them to fall in love with charts and data analysis and sports biometrics allows them to combine the thrill of sports with their detail-oriented side. Whatever the reason is, this essay needed to include details that demonstrate why this student chose sports biometrics.

Essay #5: Why This Major 

Prompt: Why do these areas appeal to you? (Biomedical Engineering; Molecular, Cellular, and Developmental Biology; Neuroscience) (125 words)

Tearing past layers of wrapping paper, I blink twice at the box in my hands: The Squishy Human Body. Little did I know that this strange seventh birthday gift would inspire a curiosity in biology and a desire to pursue medicine. Snapping open the plastic head, I would seek to understand the brain’s inner workings. Squeezing the rubber heart would turn into countless questions about the molecular properties of its tissues. Using the tweezers to remove the small intestine, I would perform my own surgeries, each time with improved equipment that I designed to fit the patient’s needs. I hope to continue my exploration of biology at Yale, working to understand functions on a cellular level while applying my knowledge to the field of medicine.

While this essay is short and sweet, it works! Focusing on a singular moment in time, a singular object, allows this student to tell us a lot about their passion for biology and medicine in a very limited amount of space.

The reader is taken on a journey through the human body—via the toy—and at each stop along the way we learn another detail about the student. This is a clever way to convey information, especially when you are tight on words. Using symbols and giving each sentence a specific focus helps the reader quickly take away the main point so we finish the essay feeling like we’ve learned a great deal about what this student wants to learn and do with their degree.

Additionally, this essay is a breezy read because of the use of action verbs keeping the reader in the moment. The repeated structure of beginning sentences with -ing verbs (“Tearing,” “Snapping,” “Squeezing,” “Using,” etc) suggests that these actions are currently taking pace. This is a nice trick to draw your reader in without wasting any space.

This essay could be even better if it told us more about this student in detail. Using the head, heart, and intestine as symbols for what they will learn and do in the future good, but including concrete details would make it great. We could see research projects they conducted, volunteer work at a hospital they engaged in, or clubs that they joined at school to demonstrate their hands-on experience with medicine. The whole point of  The Squishy Human Body is to give kids hands-on experience, so let’s see it!

Reworking sentences to be more like these would have made the essay stronger: “ Snapping open the plastic head, I found the brain I performed countless CT scans on to locate tumors. Squeezing the rubber heart, I see my report on addressing high rates of female cardiovascular disease.”

Essay #6: Why Yale

Prompt: What is it about Yale that has led you to apply? (125 words or fewer)

Coin collector and swimmer. Hungarian and Romanian. Critical and creative thinker. I was drawn to Yale because they don’t limit one’s mind with “or” but rather embrace unison with “and.” 

Wandering through the Beinecke Library, I prepare for my multidisciplinary Energy Studies capstone about the correlation between hedonism and climate change, making it my goal to find implications in environmental sociology. Under the tutelage of Assistant Professor Arielle Baskin-Sommers, I explore the emotional deficits of depression, utilizing neuroimaging to scrutinize my favorite branch of psychology: human perception. At Walden Peer Counseling, I integrate my peer support and active listening skills to foster an empathetic environment for the Yale community. Combining my interests in psychological and environmental studies is why I’m proud to be a Bulldog. 

A strength of this essay is how it acts like this student is actively a student at Yale, subconsciously tricking the reader into thinking that they belong. While many students in a “ Why School? ” essay say things like “ I want to ” or “ I would “, being quite literal in the sense they are viewing attending Yale as a future possibility. However, this student employs present verbs and specific locations to make Yale a current reality, for example: “ Wandering through the Beinecke Library, I prepare for my multidisciplinary Energy Studies capstone. ” While this approach requires more confidence, it can help you stand out from other applicants who approach Yale as a hypothetical.

Another positive aspect is how this student explains what Yale resource they are taking advantage of and how they will benefit from/contribute to it. Incorporating both of these is what gives your “Why School?” essay meaning. Admissions officers need to see you have done your research and found opportuniites that relate to you, but they also want to see what you will do on campus and beyond. This student applies this method of description to a class, professor, and organization to thoroughly demonstrate how Yale uniquely aligns with their goals.

One issue with this essay is it tries to cover too much, ultimately leaving many things unsaid. Take the introduction for example. While the notion of embracing “and” not “or” is a good way to demonstrate all the possibilities they can pursue at Yale, this student shares details about themselves that pique the reader’s interest, but unfortunately aren’t expanded on. We want to know about their coin collection and their Hungarian and Romanian roots, but they are never referenced again.

Although the Yale opportunities are slightly more focused around the idea of the environment and psychology, the essay lacks a clear link between the two topics until the last sentence. This makes the essay feel disjointed and overwhelming for the reader because we can’t process how all of this information relates.

To overcome this issue, the student could present the idea of the environment and psychology as their end at the very beginning, cutting out the other identities they present. Not only would this make the entire essay more streamlined, it would make the second paragraph far more manageable because the reader would go into knowing this student’s two interests. Yes, some interesting facts would need to be sacrificed, but when you only have 125 words you need to prioritize the main idea of your essay.

Where to Get Your Yale  Essays Edited

Do you want feedback on your Yale essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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English-taught Programs

Undergraduate Admissions

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Sophia Program for Sustainable Futures

SPSF: When and How to Apply

When and how to apply for spsf, for applicants for autumn first period with the ib predicted grades from november 2024 session.

If you’re applying with predicted grades of November 2024 session, make sure to request the “Transcript of Results” to be sent to Sophia University from the IBO in advance so the result reaches Sophia University by Friday, January 10, 2025. Your application will be screened with the final result and the acceptance will be unconditional. Please see details in the “Application Procedures” booklet.

For Applicants who intend to use the GI Bill to fund their studies

Students entering Sophia University from AY 2024 will not be able to make use of GI Bill benefits to pay for educational expenses.

Application Schedule

Note: ・ Prospective students can apply for multiple departments (application fee is required per department). ・ An applicant who has not been accepted in a past application may re-apply for the subsequent application periods.

Method of Admissions

Document Screening Interview (only for transfer applicants to the Department of Global Studies)

Application Procedure

All applicants must read through the Application Procedure booklet.

Application Procedure: Autumn 2025 entry (as of May 2024)(343.10 KB)

Click here to read the full application guidelines booklet. -All applicants must read through the Application Procedure booklet. -The application portal is indicated in the Application Procedure booklet.

Note: To access the AY 2024 Application Guidelines, click here .

Application is accepted through the following steps. Make sure to complete each step.

• Register for the on-line application website (indicated in the booklet above) to create your “My Page.” Important information will be sent to the email address you register here until enrollment in Sophia. Please make sure to use an email address you’ll always be able to check even after leaving your current school.
• Make sure to include all your application information during the on-line application (choose all the departments you’re applying for). Registration for application is open only during the online application period for each admission.
• Pay the application fee and submit your application online.
• Mail the printed application forms and other application materials to the Sophia Admissions Office by express traceable shipping service.

Application Documents

Please make sure to read the Application Procedure booklet for the details about application documents or your application might end in a failure. 1. Application Forms 2. Essay (500 words) (use the form provided) 3. Official Transcripts 4. Certificate of Graduation from High school If you need a form, please use the form provided. 5. Standardized Test Scores (SAT/ACT/IB Diploma/GCE A levels) 6. Proof of English Proficiency (TOEFL®/IELTS) 7. Two Letters of Recommendation (use the form provided) 8. Photocopy of Passport 9. Application Materials Checklist (use the form provided)

• Essay Form(14.89 KB) for Journalism, Education, Sociology, Economics, Management
• Essay Form for Global Studies(16.54 KB)
• Application Materials Checklist(87.59 KB)
• Recommendation Letter Form WORD(16.70 KB) / PDF(44.19 KB)
• International Baccalaureate Predicted Grades Report Form WORD(23.87 KB) / PDF(4.92 KB)
• GCE Predicted Grades Report Form WORD(20.97 KB) / PDF(4.54 KB)
• Certificate of Graduation/Expected Graduation Form WORD(24.93 KB) / PDF(4.10 KB)

Application Fee : 35,000 yen

On-line payment handling fee of 990 yen will be charged in addition to the application fee. Payment should be made by credit card, at a convenience store (inside Japan), via Pay-easy, or via on-line banking during the application period. Payment must be completed by 11:59 p.m. (JST) of each on-line application deadline. After the deadline, application will not be accepted. The application fee is non-refundable once it is paid.

For more information on the program, housing and scholarships, go to our Web Piloti website.

Web Piloti Website

English-taught Undergraduate Programs

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Do I need to write essays for Sophia? Or just take tests?

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Exchange Programs / Short-term Programs

Exchange Programs

Application Information for Exchange Students

Application Materials

Faq information.

Please refer to the FAQ page at the same time. Application FAQs

General rules for submitting applications

Please read the following instructions for each item carefully before submitting the application documents.

• Application form and other designated forms are available online. Account and URL for application portal will be provided after official nomination by the exchange program coordinator of their home institution. Applicants are required to submit online application form and upload application materials through the portal.
• Documents in a language other than English or Japanese have to be translated into English or Japanese and certified by the home institution.

List of Documents to be Submitted:

*REQUIRED for all applicants

• Application form (downloadable after completing online application form via portal) *
• Letter of academic recommendation (form provided) *
• Official academic transcript(s) *
• List of courses currently enrolled (if not listed on the transcript)
• Proof of English Language Proficiency
• Proof of Japanese Language Proficiency (only for applicants applying for Japanese-taught program)
• Certificate of health (form provided) *
• Digital color photo *
• Photo copy of passport *
• Essay explaining motivation and academic background for GPGS courses (only for applicants applying for the Graduate Program in Global Studies)
• Application for Certificate of Eligibility (CoE) *
• Housing Application *

(1) Application Form (Complete and Download PDF through online) *

In this application form, you will input basic and important information such as

• Personal Information (Name, Birth Date, Nationality)
• Contact Information (Current and Emergency Contact)
• Current Academic Information
• Academic Background
• Study Plan (Program / Department, List of Courses You Expect to Take at Sophia)
• Other Information
• Personal Statement and Applicant Survey

(2) Letter of Recommendation (Form Provided) *

Letter must be completed by professor / lecturer who has taught the applicant in an academic course at his/her home institution. If the professor/ lecturer would not like to share the letter with students, they can send the letter directly to our office by email ([email protected]). In such case, please upload a text file to the portal site indicating that the Letter will be submitted separately.

The recommendation letter in its original format will be accepted when the letter covers the following points: 1 How long have you known the applicant? In what capacity have you known him/her? 2 Course Title and Course Code which you have taught. 3 As far as you know, what is the applicant’s purpose in coming to Sophia? 4 Judging from your intelligence, steadiness, and social adaptability, how do you assess your chance of fulfilling such purpose? 5 Any other information or remarks.

(3) Official Academic Transcript(s) *

Transcripts must be OFFICIAL documents issued by the home institution. If official documents will be issued digitally, please send it to the letter directly to us ([email protected]). In such case, please upload a text file to the portal site indicating that the transcript will be submitted separately. If you scan and upload the transcript by yourself, please note the documents is OFFICIAL one.

• Explanations of the grading system used at the applicant’s home university should be attached to the transcript(s) by the applicant’s home institution.
• UNDERGRADUATE programs applicants Provide latest and all official transcript(s) of currently enrolled undergraduate level institutions.
• GRADUATE programs applicants Provide bachelor diploma copy with latest official transcript(s) of all previous undergraduate and graduate studies.
• Applicants for spring semester entrance: submit transcript including grades of previous spring semester. Applicants for autumn semester entrance: submit transcript including grades of previous autumn semester.
• Applicants who have previously studied in Japan under student visa should provide a copy of transcript issued by the related Japanese institution.
• Applicants must have completed at least one semester at their home institutions by the time of applying.
• Applicants are expected to have a Grade Point Average of B (3.0) or higher in the standard 4-level rating system (A, B, C, D). Those who do not fulfill the requirement will be rejected. For more information, see following website. Qualifications: http://www.sophia.ac.jp/eng/admissions/exchangeprograms/application_info/qualification.html

(4) List of courses currently enrolled

Please upload a text file or image scan include the list of courses in progress, if not printed on transcript.

(5) Proof of English Language Proficiency

REQUIRED for all applicants applying to Sophia’s English taught program.

• Minimum score for each test is as following: 79 on TOEFL iBT / 550 on TOEFL ITP / 6.0 on IELTS(Academic) / 730 on TOEIC (LR) / Cambridge English C2 Proficiency (CPE) or C1 Advanced (CAE)
• Applicants who apply for the Graduate Program in Global Studies are expected to have a higher English ability. Applicants who cannot fulfill the following minimum language requirement will be denied the entrance into the program. 100 on TOEFL iBT / 600 on TOEFL ITP / 7.0 on IELTS(Academic) / 870 on TOEIC (LR) (Cambridge English is not acceptable)

Condition of Exemption

• USA, UK, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, Singapore and Canada (*Canadian Institutions where the courses are taught in French are required to submit Proof of English Language Proficiency.)
• Please note that GPGS requires higher proficiency.
• The official letter must clearly state the above situation. An objective evidence of language proficiency requirement for admission, such as a URL link or screenshot is preferred.

Definition of the valid certificate date for Sophia Exchange

• Cambridge English: Please note that even for the Cambridge Exam, which does not officially have an expiration date, we will not accept it after two years.
• Only if you have already taken the test and cannot get the results in time for the application deadline, you can submit the following explanation and we will wait a couple of weeks for your test results. The letter of explanation including the following: – test name and date – expected date of test result to be released

(6) Proof of Japanese Language Proficien cy

(only for applicants applying for Japanese-taught program) Japanese Language Proficiency Test N1 level certificate （日本語能力試験N1）is required for non-native Japanese speakers applying to Japanese-taught undergraduate / graduate programs.

• Applicants who wish to enroll in the Graduate Program in Linguistics(言語学専攻) must submit proof of a JLPT N1 obtained within two years from the time of application.
• Applicants who wish to take the Japanese Language Education Course (日本語教育学コース) subjects in the Graduate Program in Linguistics(言語学専攻) must submit proof of a JLPT N1 score of 150 or higher.
• For those who are applying to Japanese-taught graduate program, a higher level may be required for the breakdown score in addition to passing the N1 level.
• For details and overseas testing of the Japanese Language Proficiency Test, refer to: http://www.jlpt.jp/e/index.html

(7) Certificate of Health (Form Provided) *

All applicants should submit the Certificate of Health completed within 6 months prior to the application period (1 September for Autumn Semester application and 1 April for Spring Semester application) , signed by a practicing physician and indicating that the applicant is physically fit to study abroad and do the required academic work. All items on the certificate must be filled out.

• Chest X-ray test is mandatory. Please indicate the results and date of X-ray examination.
• Note: applicants who need reasonable accommodation at Sophia should let us know in Online Application Form. (Additional documents will be required.)

(8) Digital Color Photo *

Submit one digital photo data. Please refer to the Document “11_How to complete Digital color photo for student IDデジタル写真の加工方法.pdf” in the online portal.

https://www.moj.go.jp/isa/applications/guide/photo_info.html?hl=en

(9) Photocopy of Passport *

Submit a photocopy of applicant’s passport personal information page. Renew passport if it will expire during the exchange period at Sophia.

• If you have Japanese nationality, you should enter Japan with your Japanese passport. If you have not applied for Japanese passport, or if you do not have a valid one, you must renew it prior to your arrival.

A Photocopy of Passport should be

• Scan or take a clear photo of your passport info Page.
• Make sure all four corners are visible
• The image is high resolution and readable

(10) Essay explaining motivation and academic background for GPGS courses

(Only for applicants applying for the Graduate Program in Global Studies) Applicants to the Graduate Program in Global Studies are required to attach a separate document which list all courses they wish to take , indicating for each the relevance to their degree of study in their home institution and their background for the course.

(11) Application for Certificate of Eligibility (CoE) *

Certificate of Eligibility (CoE) is necessary for applicants who do not hold a Japanese citizenship. The process is handled separately from the application.

• After the completion of the application process, you will receive a contact from an administrative law firm to which Sophia University has outsourced regarding the COE (Certificate of Eligibility).
• You must follow the instruction to issue the CoE.
• Applicants who hold a Japanese citizenship will not receive a contact from the administrative law firm.

(12) Housing Application *

ALL applicants must submit the housing application regardless of whether they wish to make accommodation arrangements through Sophia or not. If applicants wish to make the accommodation arrangement through Sophia, they must fill out all sections. Since housing allocation works on first come, first served basis, early and perfect submission of documents is encouraged for higher priority in housing place. For Housing Information: https://piloti.sophia.ac.jp/eng/studyabroad/exchangeprograms/housinginfo_costs/housing_list/

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Reasons For Wishing To Study At The Faculty Of Liberal Arts Of Sophia Admission Essay Samples

Type of paper: Admission Essay

Topic: Education , Environment , University , Career , Development , Democracy , Japan , Students

Published: 02/24/2020

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Application for Admission

I have always wished to study in an interactive environment with students from diverse cultural backgrounds. Developing interest in liberal arts to me is a natural process I believe relates to my philanthropic nature. I have always lived in culturally diverse neighborhoods, especially in Hawaii, where I was surrounded with many mixed cultures. During my elementary education, I stayed in Japan for six years. I loved the Japanese culture, and the interaction with my culturally diverse neighbors greatly inspired my career path. I believe that Faculty of Liberal Arts of Sophia is the best place to develop my career because the Moto and the mission of the school coincide with my educational and my social requirements. I have grown up in a religious setting that has helped me develop social values that I believe will help me develop my career in Faculty of Liberal Arts of Sophia. Apart from educational development, Faculty of Liberal Arts of Sophia helps the learners to get religious development through the Catholic spiritual formation, which I want to pursue at the University. According the message from the president, he indicates that the University transforms students into active participants in the solutions of global issues such as poverty, starvation, environment, and discrimination as well as pursues their career goals. I have learned about the challenges that different societies face through personal observations as well as studies form established research findings and realized the need to participate in eliminating these challenges. This is the ideal environment where I believe I should develop my liberal arts career. The combination of a broad liberal arts education at Sophia that specializes on the disciplinary focus in comparative culture, International Business and economics, and social studies, all help in developing the personality that I have desired to be. I am glad to learn that the University offers liberal arts educational programs in a variety of languages. However, I have proficient speaking and writing skills in Japanese, English, and Chinese languages, which I believe that would help me learn in different environments as I interact with the students from different languages. I must confess that during my six-year stay in Japan as an elementary school student, I loved the Japanese environment, and has ever since loved to return to continue with my adventure. As I am interested in conducting research, I believe that my love for the culture, as well as the school’s good reputation in research would be potential benefits to my career. I understand that the university conducts research and education activities according to the Jesuit spirit and accords importance to caring for and thinking about the needs of other people in a humanistic way as well as discovering individual interaction. I would wish to get an opportunity to study at the Faculty of Liberal Arts of Sophia so that I could learn the principles of caring for humanity, which has always been my dream. I have never failed in my responsibilities in education and my entire career development. I have always been in the forefront in embracing oneness in diversity in the different culturally diverse neighborhoods I have lived in them. With these attributes of success, I am confident that I would interact with the students at the Faculty of Liberal Arts of Sophia and the Japanese society to produce the best of the expectations of the institution. If my application meets your consideration, gaining my bachelor’s degree and subsequent educational attainments from the Faculty of Liberal Arts of Sophia will not only give me the knowledge and skills to achieve my career goals, but will also help me carry the banner of the University and demonstrate admirable attributes admirable by all students and administration. Thanks for your consideration.

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10 Exceptional Common App Essay Examples

Common app essay examples.

One of the most important pieces of the college admissions process is the Common App essay, also known as the college essay or the personal statement. By reading Common App essay examples, you can prepare to write your own. 

However, what is a personal statement? In a word, a personal statement is an essay you’ll write for college. We will learn more about what makes a great personal statement by exploring sample Common App essays. In fact, the best way for students to ace this type of essay is through dissecting Common App essay examples to see what works. 

Breaking down the Common App essay

In this article, we’ll use Common App essay examples to explore what makes a strong personal statement. We’ll break down what makes each of these Common App essay examples successful. That way, you can find inspiration and tools to unlock the best version of your own college entrance essays. We will also provide tips for coming up with college essay ideas and finding a college application essay format that works for your story.

At CollegeAdvisor, our goal is to demystify the college admissions process for all students. As such, we’ll also introduce you to many resources about how to write a college essay—like our guide on How to Write a Personal Statement linked below! In it, you’ll find even more stellar Common App essay examples to help you get inspired.

How to Write a Personal Statement – 5 Personal Statement Examples

What is a Common App essay?

The first step in writing a college essay is understanding the varying types of college essays. When students look up “what is a personal statement?” they are likely to come across many articles about sample Common App essays. Indeed, personal statement sample essays are often the same as Common App essay examples. While there are many other types of college essays, such as supplemental essays, the Common App essay/personal statement is extremely important. 

Let’s first explore one major question: what is a personal statement?

Whether you are applying to undergrad, grad school, or a scholarship, the personal statement is a general term for an essay that introduces you to admissions officers. As such, personal statement sample essays must tell a unique story about you that conveys who you are. They should showcase your personality traits, values, and personal growth. With this story, you are showing admissions teams what kind of person and community member you will be when you step onto their campus. For this reason, no two personal statement sample essays are identical.

Understanding the Common App essay

Now, let’s explore what the Common App essay is. A Common App essay is a personal statement submitted through the Common App. Astoundingly, over 1,000 colleges and universities in the United States use the Common App as an application platform. As a result, when you apply to college, you will almost definitely use the Common App. This is why there are so many Common App essay examples out there.

All Common App essay examples are 250-650 wo r ds long. Since students can apply to multiple schools using the Common App, the Common App essay examples we provide were likely submitted to several different colleges. Note how these sample Common App essays are personal to the student but still general enough to work for different schools. 

Do all schools require a Common App essay?

Besides wondering “what is a personal statement?”, many students wonder if they need one for every school.  As we mentioned, many universities in the U.S. use the Common App . However, the personal statement, also known as the Common App essay, is not required by all schools. 

For example, the Universi t y of Washington-Seattle does not accept the Common App essay even though students can apply using the Common App. However, the school has different college entrance essay requirements . These appear when you select a school on your Common App portal. 

Encouraged but not required

Some schools encourage but do not require students to submit a college entrance essay. For example, Bridgewater State University encourages students to write a college entrance essay, but it’s not mandatory. In this case, we still recommend submitting an essay, since every part of an application is a chance to showcase who you are and why you’re a compelling candidate. 

Furthermore, some schools do not require essays at all. In fact, they won’t even read your college entrance essay should you submit one. These schools, one of which is the University of South Florida , rely exclusively on other measures such as grades, test scores, or extracurriculars to make their college admissions decisions.

Though all schools don’t require a Common App essay, many do. They also might require supplemental essays. As such, it’s important to start preparing your essays early by first reading Common App essay examples. This will help you learn what makes a great college essay.

Common App Essay Prompts

The second question students might ask after ”what is a personal statement?” is “what do I write about?”

Luckily, the Common App gives you plenty of college essay ideas through the college essay topics it provides. All of the Common App essay examples we will look at responded to one of the current prompts. 

Let’s review the seven current prompts that inspired our Common App essay examples:

Current Common App Essay Prompts

1. some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. if this sounds like you, then please share your story., 2. the lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. how did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience, 3. reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. what prompted your thinking what was the outcome, 4. reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. how has this gratitude affected or motivated you, 5. discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others., 6. describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. why does it captivate you what or who do you turn to when you want to learn more, 7. share an essay on any topic of your choice. it can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design..

When looking at these prompts, you’ll note that they are all asking you to be reflective. Indeed, all common app essay examples and college essays that worked involve the student engaging in self-reflection. As such, it matters less what you write about and more what deeper meaning the topic at hand has to you. Successful sample Common App essays demonstrate that the author is a deep thinker.

Choose your own topic

Furthermore, note that prompt #7 allows you to submit an essay on any topic of your choice. So, if none of the first six prompts inspire you, you can focus on another topic of your choice that is meaningful to you.

There is no one-size-fits-all college application essay format. Indeed, all of the Common App essay examples we will explore take different approaches to telling their stories. 

As we look at Common App essay examples, take note of how students were self-reflective and demonstrated their unique passion for a topic. We’ll dig into how they accomplish this as we review each of these college essays that worked.

And remember, while your essays are extremely important, they are just one part of the overall admissions process. So, before you jump into these essay examples, don’t forget to take our CollegeAdvisor quiz to see how prepared you are to successfully tackle your college applications!

How to use these Common App Essay Examples

Before we look at sample Common App essays, let’s discuss how you can use these examples of college essays to support you in writing your own.

First, avoid the impulse to compare your life to other students’ stories in these Common App essay examples. These sample Common App essays are great tools because of the students’ reflections. It truly doesn’t matter what you write about so long as you can do it in a meaningful way that shows personal growth and self-awareness. Great personal statement sample essays can be written about the most mundane or common topics . So, don’t compare your life experiences with those of other students. Simply add these Common App essay examples to your college essay writing toolbox and understand what works.

Reflect on how you want to tell your story

Secondly, use these Common App essay examples to find inspiration for how you wish to tell your story. Do these Common App essay examples use dialogue that really makes a scene come to life? Maybe a few sample Common App essays discuss topics you hadn’t realized you could write about, giving you ideas for new college essay topics. Drawing inspiration from Common App essays that worked is distinct from copying their ideas or language. So, don’t try to imitate any of these essays. Rather, use them as a tool to enhance your own unique essays. 

Finally, take note of what you learn about the writers of these sample Common App essays. Then, look at yourself through the same lens. What do you want college admission officers to learn about you? Your college entrance essay is your chance to show that.

Common App Essay Examples #1

The first of our sample Common App essays discusses a topic that many students might assume is too ordinary: a student’s love of books. After reading each of our sample Common App essays, we’ll break down what makes them strong Common App essay examples.

Sample Common App Essays #1: Books and Identity

Under the harshly fluorescent lights of an aisle in Walmart, I take position amidst the rows of plastic silverware, paper towels, and household goods while my mother searches for supplies she needs for a Fourth of July party. Neither the faint swells of an outdated and overplayed pop song nor the hustle and bustle of a retail store on a holiday weekend reach my ears because as usual, my nose is buried in a book. My mother calls to me, but her voice barely registers and I ignore her, shifting in the spot I have designated for myself aside the packages of Hefty trash bags on the bottom shelf.

She finally finds me, and I reluctantly tear my concentration away from the page. “I’ll just stay here,” I say, buying myself precious time in which I can finish the next sentence, paragraph, or chapter of the novel, and I sink contentedly back into a state of mind where I am entirely myself and nothing, not even other customers searching for trash bags, can disturb me.

This memory is not an uncommon one for me. As a child, I could always be found in stores or restaurants with my latest literary pick in hand. I constantly nagged my parents to bring me to the library or bookstore; this was a constant even as I went through “phases” as I grew up, dabbling in music and theater with temporary or half-hearted enthusiasm. Other children dressed up as astronauts or princesses, but I took on roles of different people as I struggled to find myself.

As I grow older and continue to explore different interests, my love for reading has sparked my intellectual curiosity and taught me valuable life lessons. Reading was an escape during a time when I didn’t quite know who I wanted to be. Now it marks the cornerstone of who I’ve become. I’ve read just as many books about fictional villains and heroes as those about regular people who face the same struggles I do. For me, it’s these kinds of books, stories of people not so different than myself, that have changed and defined my outlook on life. 

One such book is I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson, a story of twins and their difficulty finding their own identity in a world where they are bound together. Noah, one of the twins, describes how he feels he is always “undercover.” He says, “‘Maybe a person is just made up of a lot of people. Maybe we’re accumulating these new selves all the time. Hauling them in as we make choices, good and bad, as we screw up, […] grow, dive into the world.’” I was unable to realize a person could be defined by multiple aspects of himself.

My tendency to try to fit into a specific role proved to be unsuccessful, but one of my different “selves” was always a part of me, even when taking on the role of someone I didn’t want to be. A love for reading is not a temporary persona I put on to appease parents, friends, or college admissions officers. The reader of a story has an unique perspective of the mind of a character. Because of this, I have realized the true depth and intricacy every person and situation can hold.

I struggled with defining my own identity, with labeling who I was, but now I know every person is much too complex to be defined by a label as simplistic as “athlete” or “musician.” So although it might be assumed that an individual pursuing an engineering degree does not enjoy reading, I am grateful for my love of books, as it is with this passion that I find myself ready to “dive into the world.”

Why this essay worked

As we mentioned earlier, it may feel difficult to come up with college essay ideas. This student chose a topic that some might consider mundane— their love of reading. However, the student is successful because they show how reading has been a critical part of their identity and personal development. 

In this essay, the student tells us how reading was an escape from the pressure she felt to define who she was. Later, reading became an integral part of her identity as a learner intrigued by stories. Given that the student plans to major in engineering, this fact adds depth and intrigue to the student’s personal brand. A college admissions officer would find this student an appealing candidate because they will likely be engaged and passionate. Through this example, we see that any topic can be a successful one if it is important to the reader and connects to a core aspect of their identity.

Lastly, as we see in many great examples of college essays, this student includes many details. They even reference dialogue from a favorite book, further illustrating their love of reading. 

Now, let’s look at a very different college application essay format in the second of our Common App Essay examples.

Sample Common App Essay #2

The second of our Common App essay examples takes the unique—and potentially challenging—approach of talking about another person. In this essay, the author describes her relationship with Sophia, a child with special needs that she meets while volunteering. 

The author’s essay is in response to prompt #3 of the Common App essay prompts: 

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Not many Common App essay examples respond to this prompt. Let’s see how this student tackles it.

Common App Essay #2: Challenging Bias about Ability

I see Sophia and wave, laughing at her leaps of excitement that brighten my day. Sophia grins up at me, pointing at her two missing front teeth, and I marvel at how grown-up she is becoming. Deciding to capitalize on her boundless exuberance, I suggest we work on her backstroke, her least favorite. Sensing her reluctance to lie flat on the water, I point out the purple monkey and the giraffe on the ceiling, coaxing her to relax on her back and practice a few kicks. I know that with this distraction, she will slowly uncoil her arms from my waist, gaining the confidence to float on her own. Beaming, I praise her courage, offering a congratulatory high-five. Proud of today’s improvements, I hand her the dreaded kickboard. Sophia’s dimples vanish as she vigorously shakes her head, inching away from the terrifying aqua board.

Recognizing this fear, I remember a trick she loved from the previous lesson. I promise to teach her how to do an under-water handstand, and in response, she tentatively grasps the board with one hand, while clinging to me with the other. I then challenge her to splash me as hard as she can with powerful freestyle kicks, and laugh as my face is soon drenched with water. Clapping, I marvel at her ability to propel herself without any assistance, and to celebrate, we belt out “Let It Go” from Frozen together. My giggles vanish and my heart aches as she begins to recollect the long needles from her latest hospital visit, but I am amazed to see that her laugh never ceases.

Sophia has special needs. Despite her mental challenges, her bubbly and infectious personality never fails to be an uplifting inspiration. I marvel at how this 10-year-old has learned to fully appreciate the life she has been given and cherish each precious moment. In and out of surgeries, hospitals, and clinics, she still exhibits an unparalleled enthusiasm for life.

Sophia’s determination coupled with her bright personality inspires me to embrace optimism in my life. I am passionate about enabling Sophia to break down any perceived obstacles and stereotypes in front of her and lead an active life, just like any other child. Though I go in each week as the teacher, I leave having been her student. Each evening after volunteering, I would lie awake, tossing and turning, wondering how I could do more for Sophia. Prior to volunteering, I often took for granted that I have sports and activity programs readily available. But with far more athletes than coaches in the program, why did more of my peers not volunteer? Why did more people not know about the special gifts people with disabilities radiate?

Yearning to share my experience with others, I founded a club at my school called HandiCapable, encouraging my peers to volunteer with people who have special needs through sports mentoring. I hope to encourage my school community to see that people with mental disabilities are people first, facing challenges like us all. I fought to change an underlying culture where people with intellectual disabilities are mocked or misunderstood in today’s society by spearheading a campaign to eliminate the word “retarded.” Breaking away from using hurtful and derogatory colloquialisms is the first step towards understanding and compassion, altering the way we think, speak, and ultimately act.

Sophia has taught me that nothing is insurmountable if you have courage, foresight and above all, a positive attitude. She has driven me to be more accepting of people who may seem initially quite different, but face challenges like I do. She has inspired me to be more appreciative of uniqueness, because everyone has an individual personality and perspective from which I can learn. Sophia has changed how I view the world.

What makes this a successful essay ?

Writing about another person when applying to college can be tricky. Many sample Common App essays write so much about the other person that they forget to center the author. However, in this essay, the author demonstrates the impact that Sophia had on her, centering her own experiences. In doing so, it highlights how Sophia taught the author to face challenges with joy and courage. 

The student also answers the prompt fully and in detail. Specifically, the writer discusses how her experience with Sophia led her to challenge ableist thought. Moreover, the author tells the reader how her inspiration led her to create a club at her school. By doing this, she demonstrates her own leadership skills and activist mindset. In short, we learn a lot about the author even though this essay is about someone who inspired her.

For our third sample, we’ll give into the challenging world of Common App essay examples that talk about sports.

Personal Statement Sample Essay #3

Many examples of college essays talk about a sport that a student has played for a long time. Writing about this topic can be difficult. At times, students spend too much time talking about the details of the sport rather than their experiences. 

In the third of our sample Common App essays, the author shows us how her relationship to gymnastics changes over her lifetime. In doing so, she reveals a lot about her character. Let’s take a look:

Personal Statement Sample Essays #3: Perseverance and Commitment through Gymnastics 

Gymnastics has always been a part of my life and has shaped who I am today. Without gymnastics I would not have the same determined mindset, competitive nature, and appreciation of a team. If I were to neglect sharing this aspect of my life, my application would truly be incomplete.

When I was two years old, my parents enrolled me in the Parent-and-Me program at Countryside Gymnastics. At six, I became part of the pre-team program, Dynamos, and was placed in the compulsory team at age seven.  As a compulsory, I struggled to be as good as my teammates. This struggle caused frustration which evolved into determination and a competitive nature. Throughout the rest of my compulsory years, I gradually improved but still felt as though I were stuck. I knew I had to “up my game.”

The optional levels, 7 and up, brought a new factor—fear. Even though this fear did hold me back at times, I did not let it keep me from achieving my goals. Gymnastics is also extremely tough on the body. Once I entered the optional level of gymnastics, I trained at least 20 hours a week and endured the aches and pains that came along with it. However, I did not let these pains defeat me. When I reached level 9, I began to experience severe back pain, which a spine specialist diagnosed as a subcutaneous lipoma. Although the physician highly recommended I stop training to avoid complications later in life, I was too committed to stop the sport.  I let my desire push me through the pain, and I had a successful competition season, qualifying for the Region 8 Regional Competition in Jackson, Mississippi. 

During summer training in 2013, I worked as hard as possible to reach level 10, with the back pain progressively worsening. Once my pain peaked, my coach told me it may be time to “hang it up.” I could either quit or repeat level 9 with minimal training. Ultimately, the choice was mine. To prove I was capable of reaching level 10 and to support my team, I continued to train on a vigorous schedule. At level 10, I am the highest level gymnast at Countryside Gymnastics and am determined to have an exceptional competition season.

This determination and competitiveness that pushes me to accomplish my goals in gymnastics also exists in my current scholastics—the health sciences, which will ultimately prepare me for my future in pediatric medicine. Without the desire to be the best I can be, I might not have achieved success throughout my high school years.

Why this essay worked 

Some sample Common App essays that write about sports focus too heavily on the sport. In doing so, they fail to tell us much about the author. However, colleges want to know about you!

This author writes about what gymnastics has meant to her throughout her life. This gives us a window into how she thinks, what she fears, and how she handles challenges. Through describing how she pushed forward when faced with injuries or fear, she shows us how she will succeed in college and in life.

Common App Essay Examples #4

Many Common App essay examples attempt to subtly weave in achievements. However, in the fourth of our sample Common App essays, the author takes a bold move. This essay talks about how the author handles failure, revealing critical details about their character. Some might assume that successful Common App essay examples need to focus on “successes,” not failures. However, this essay shows how failure can be a good essay topic choice—if you address it the right way.

Let’s see how one student skillfully tackles the topic of failure.

Sample Common App Essays #4: A New Perspective on Failure

Stretching my ankle against the theraband, my pre-pointe teacher hands out evaluations, determining who will move up to pointe shoes. The TheraBand, worn from months of strengthening in hopes of earning pointe shoes, snaps as I eagerly grab my evaluation. Dumbfounded, I wonder how all my friends were advancing to pointe while I wasn’t. Maybe my body is not built for ballet, I conceded.

A year later, the server on the other side of the net serves the ball with a loud smack. The ball hurdles towards me in seemingly slow motion. Other players yell my name, encouraging me. I need to pass the ball, or else I won’t make the middle school volleyball team. Positioning myself, I bend my knees, and… I hit it out of the court. 

Defeated, I accept the rejection with the mindset that my lack of athleticism is permanent. 

The following fall, walking out of the audition room and having made it successfully past the first round, I was dizzy and elated. Moments prior, I perfectly performed an excerpt from a piece I prepared for 3 months and was about to play yet another excerpt, which would determine whether I would make the district honors band. Breathing rhythmically, my fingers glide over the familiar scales, my heart thumps the beat of the piece, and I triumph in my second successful audition of the evening. The results the next day were disappointing. I thought about how my mother is tone deaf, and decided that was the reason I would never be successful in my musical aspirations.

Regarding my failures as something out of my control was a recurring theme in my life. Reflecting on past experiences, I am not sure when the thought that my abilities were unchangeable began to prevail. However, I am aware of when the toxic mindset began to change.

For years, I had marveled at long distance runners. Their athleticism and ability to persistently push onwards in a race was something I lacked in my life and simultaneously desired. Spring of my freshman year of high school, I decided I wanted to join the Cross-Country team. However, joining a sport in high school tended to be very difficult, due to the fact current players had already been participating for years prior. Despite anxiety about possibly “failing” at something again, I tried anyways. After careful research and planning, I set a schedule of running and cross training six days a week. Beginning in March, I developed the capability to keep up with experienced teammates by the time the pre-season began in June.  With determination, I trained myself from a 12-minute mile runner to a 7-minute mile runner and a competitive Cross-Country athlete.

For the first time, I realized something: Failure does not define me. Instead, it drives me to succeed.

Having previously believed negative qualities cannot be changed, self-training for a sport revealed situations are not permanent. Whatever I lack in inherent talent can always be made up for in hard work and strategic planning. Innately, I am self-motivated and resilient.  Once I realized this, obtaining my goals was a possibility, and eventually, a reality. 

Because of my newfound self-awareness, pursuing goals is efficient and organized, and often produces favorable results. I no longer believe traits, such as my body type or genetic predisposition for music, restrict my ability to achieve. Instead, they are simply obstacles to be overcome. 

Letting shortcomings or events define my future or limit my aspirations is a thing of the past. What truly defines me is my ability to push past rejection and continually better myself – no matter what version of myself I am at the moment. 

Why did this essay work well?

One approach that successful personal statement sample essays could take is focusing on an unexpected topic. Throughout this essay, the author plays with the idea of failure. They introduce us to many specific moments in life when they have failed. 

As the essay moves forward, the author’s perspective on failure shifts. They learn that through their failures, they can identify ways to improve. They also realize that their own perceptions of their abilities shape how they set goals and whether they achieve them. Essentially, this student tells us through stories how they have developed a growth mindset. This is something that college admissions officers highly value in applicants.

The best Common App essay examples showcase traits that are both true to the author and appealing to colleges. Think about how to do this as you craft your own essays.

Sample Common App Essay #5

Personal statement sample examples are incredibly personal, and this next example is no different. Here, we’ll learn about a tradition that the author values deeply—spending Saturday mornings with family. 

Common App Essays that Worked #5: Family Values

I relish Saturday mornings. After a long week of rushed early mornings and drawn-out nights filled with studying, Saturday is the reward. My eyes open at my own pace. Weekdays, I awaken at 6:45 a.m. to the harsh sound of my cell phone alarm or my mom calling through my bedroom door. But not on Saturday, on that day, I rise to the sound of birds chirping or my dad moving around downstairs. Stretching for a long moment, I just enjoy staring at the ceiling. I am content after an extra hour and half of sleep.

Slowly, I leave my warm bed, throw on a comfy sweater and place my glasses on my head. It’s a welcome change from my weekday routine. I do not miss forcing my sleepy body out of bed, slipping into my itchy uniform, or forcing contacts into my tired eyes. When I make my way down the steps I am greeted by my dad reading the newspaper in his favorite leather armchair rather than my full backpack in the foyer.

These relaxing mornings offer me a much-needed break. For once, I’m not rushing off to school or soccer practice. Any essays I need to write or physics tests I must study for can wait a while. 

I take the time to just sit on the couch and read a book or watch TV. I can do everything I want or do nothing at all.

However, the true highlights of these mornings occur when I am sitting at the kitchen table with my crossword puzzle and pencil on my right and my breakfast plate and hot mug of tea on my left. Between bites of pancake, I share tricky crossword clues with my family. My mom looks up from the sports section to carefully consider the hint and my sisters bombard me with suggestions but it’s usually my dad, standing over the griddle flipping pancakes, who calls out the correct answer. As I find contentment in a meal, the Puzzles and Games section of the Philadelphia Inquirer, and the company of my family, I realize that it truly is the little things in life that mean the most.

I appreciate my dad who works long hours but still gets up to cook a big weekend breakfast for my family and the way that he serves me tea in my mom’s white college mug because he knows it’s my favorite. My sisters’ and I laugh playfully as we compete over who’s the strongest and tease me because I’m the weakest. I shake my head and smile at my mom who insists that she can eat three pieces of French Toast even though we all know she’ll barely finish two. To someone else, lazy Saturdays and family breakfasts may appear so routine, so insignificant. But to me, these moments are perfect.

This essay proves that sample Common App essays that worked don’t have to be about a huge life event. In fact, this student is writing about the most common aspects of everyday life: spending time with family. However, the way the student writes about their family demonstrates a lot about the student’s character. We learn that this student values the little things in life and cares deeply for others. 

Secondly, by using specific details, from crossword puzzles to coffee mugs, this essay highlights the author’s love for their family. This student masters the age-old writing advice of “show, don’t tell.” This approach keeps Common App essay examples intriguing and fun to read. 

Personal Statement Sample Essay #6

There isn’t one successful college application essay format or topic. However, writing about a pivotal moment in one’s life can lead to a very compelling story. Though it can be difficult, this student chooses to be vulnerable about how a catastrophic injury changed their life.

Common App Essay Examples #6: Lessons from an Injury

When I finally woke for the first time in three days, I could feel needles dancing up and down my legs where there were none, and when the doctor asked me to wiggle my toes, there was not even a flicker. Regarding my condition, the doctor told me, “Your skiing accident has left you paralyzed. Permanently.” 

In Korea, where I was born, a disability is considered very shameful. Many see people with disabilities as aliens of society. People with disabilities in Asian countries rarely leave the house due to the inaccessible nature of the society and the unbearable piercing stares of the surrounding community members. Seeing this as my only possible life in a wheelchair, the people closest to me repeatedly etched into my brain that without the use of my legs, I could never be successful or happy–a forever pitied human being.

As my church and family members visited me after my injury and saw me in the wheelchair, they reacted in shock, saying, “I’m sorry. I really hope you walk again.” As they tried to console me, I could feel their deep pity. Before even asking if I was okay, or how I was doing, my immobile legs had already drawn in their minds a picture of my bleak future. 

As apologies and condolences were continuously thrown at me, I started to believe that everyone was right. Maybe I was just a burden. Maybe I would not ever be happy. Enveloped in a façade of darkness, for so many days, I merely sat in bed begging my legs to move again. 

I would be lying if I claimed I suddenly woke up one day and was completely happy again. But through weeks and months, I started to discover that if I continued to look to my surroundings for motivation or support, I would not find it. To everyone else, my church members, my family, I had just become “that girl in the wheelchair.” But I knew I could not just give up on my aspirations or conform to the definitions that I had been labeled with due to one physical attribute.

Through my experiences after my injury, I started to notice so much, especially the lack of diversity in the workplace, and the support that this fact gave to existing societal stereotypes. I started to wonder, how would my experience after my accident have changed, or how much encouragement would I have received if I saw a doctor, teacher, nurse, that had the same abilities as I did? Motivated, I began to involve myself more, and started to work harder academically, so that one day, through my life, I can become this strength and encouragement for someone else. 

Many people, seeing me driving, or even just sitting at the movie theater, come up to me and tell me that I’m an inspiration. They tell me how amazing I am for just having gotten dressed in the morning and leaving the house. Honestly, these actions should not be considered inspiring. I’m just living my life. But because of the many prejudiced opinions towards the disability community, opinions that I too once held, the fact that a person in a wheelchair can complete even just everyday activities is considered a great feat. 

Someday, I want to be someone that inspires, not because I can get dressed or talk for myself, but because I have really accomplished something that significantly influences the world. 

Yes, there are times when I wish I could just get up and walk. However, these moments are temporary and trifling. It scares me to think that without the occurrence of my accident, I may have remained living with the traditional and well-known biases regarding disability and other differences that exist in society. Then, I may have been a true pitiful character. 

Today, I am Korean and still, a person with a disability. But I am proud. 

A common assumption is that college essays that worked simply highlight a major hardship or tragic life event. However, this is simply not true. Common App essay examples about hardships are successful only if they show how the author grew from an experience. 

In this essay, the student shares how their skiing accident changed the way they were treated, thereby changing how they viewed themselves. Rather than feeling pitiful or less-than, this student discovered a newfound determination to positively influence the world. Their perseverance is seen not only in surviving an accident, but in overcoming the limitations society places on people with disabilities. 

Common App Essay Examples #7

Many powerful sample Common App essays tap into core aspects of the human experience. This often includes how we navigate our identities– especially in an ever-globalizing world. The following example of Common App essays that worked tackles that topic with grace.  

Sample Personal Statement #7: Embracing Heritage, Integrating Identity 

“For sale: baby shoes, never worn.” 

Six words. Six words were all it took for Ernest Hemingway to embody the sorrow of a family after losing a child. It seems almost impossible to so elegantly summarize a life in six words. 

I received this seemingly impossible assignment in AP Language a year ago. How could I encapsulate my seventeen years of life into six words? Would those words sound funny, poignant, dark? I reflected on important moments that shaped me as a person to answer my questions. 

I reminisced about my early years: two loving parents and a playful younger sister. During those years, my parents instilled in me their most important values: meaningful academic pursuit, following our Indian traditions, and preserving cultural heritage.

I remembered the first time I faced the struggle that would tear me apart for the next twelve years: values ingrained in me as a child versus values my friends and the society around me possessed. As I grew older, I learned just how different my friends’ values were from mine. 

Throughout my middle school and freshman years, I had two sets of friends: my school friends and my travel basketball friends. The former focused on social status rather than academics; the latter focused on athletics rather than academics. To fit in, I created another persona for myself: someone who focused singularly on social status and athletics. This decision to change my personality based on my surroundings cost me my drive for academic pursuit, and I threw away educational opportunities. I lost sight of who I was and what held true meaning for me. 

At that time, my six words would’ve been: “Flip a coin, American or Indian.” For the next two years, I lived by that mantra.

My struggle with balancing the two-sided coin ended in tenth grade by a chance conversation with a cousin in India. As she described her social struggles and their limiting effects on her educational opportunities, I realized how fortunate I was to be in the U.S. I held my destiny in my hands; all I had to do was to reshape my mind. The dissonance created by compartmentalizing my two important sides prevented me from moving forward, and I had to bridge the distance I had created between my Indian heritage and living as an American. 

I embraced my cultural heritage by immersing myself into Bharatanatyam, an Indian classical dance, and passionately committing to it by completing a rigorous 3-year Certificate Course with Alagappa University of Performing Arts. In order to share my art with the community, I performed for neurologically challenged senior citizens residing in assisted living homes. Through this service, I was able to spread joy and culture amongst my American community, helping me bridge my cultural gap. 

Additionally, my upbringing had been focused on science with an expectation that my career would be in the medical field. Eventually, I developed an affinity toward science. Growing up, I was exposed to the American ideal that I can shape my own opportunities, pursue whichever career I desired, and just follow my heart. I found myself naturally attracted to journalism, and following my heart I ventured into journalism. 

Still, a key part of me was missing, and I found it only after conversing with my journalism teacher. She was describing an article by Helen Pearson, renowned science journalist, when it hit me: this is what I wanted to do. Science journalism was the product of my Indian upbringing and go-getter American attitude. That cathartic conversation is all that was needed to find the perfect career path for me. 

My cultural confusion turned out to be the springboard I needed for discovering balance, finding a potential career, arming me with rich life experiences, and allowing me to write the six words that transformed my life and that I still stand by:

“Shape my mind, shape my destiny.”

What makes this essay great ?

For students coming from multiple cultures or marginalized identities, writing a personal statement can be a healing form of self-reflection. Indeed, many successful Common App essay examples touch on this topic. However, as always, writing about it with intention and care is ultimately what makes these personal statement sample essays work. 

As an Indian-American, this student feels torn between connecting to their Indian heritage and integrating within their American community. They overcome this inner conflict by reframing how they view their identity, rejecting the either-or paradox they felt caught in. They even intentionally immerse themself in their Indian culture and share it with others through volunteer work. From their reflection, they discover how science journalism could be a career that merges all parts of their identity.

Compelling Common App essay examples are written engagingly . This author hooks us from the start of their essay with an intriguing quote that immediately catches the reader’s attention. They also bring that hook back to show us how changing their mindset allowed them to overcome their inner conflict.

Our next example of Common App essays that worked brings together two topics that the author feels passionate about. In doing so, the author doubles their ways to showcase who they are. 

Sample Common App Essay #8

All Common App essays that worked have touched upon a topic that is meaningful to the author. This next author wrote about two – their love of Rubik’s cubes and scientific research.

Common App Essay Examples #8: Rubik’s Cubes and Research

The complex array of colors had always baffled me. Orange, yellow, green, red, white, and blue all jumbled together on a mystifying gadget that just could not be completed. Twisting and turning side after side was of no use, the Rubik’s Cube could not be solved. This elaborate contraption presented me with the most overwhelming experience of my life. It outshined everything else in my dull life, and solving it became a life-changing experience.

I spent many weeks trying to find different combinations that could solve the mysterious puzzle. After continuously failing, I felt infuriated. However, rather than giving up on my goal, I knew I could do it. I worked backwards until I realized what I did wrong early in the solving process. I kept forgetting to do a critical step, causing me to get two colors in their wrong spots. Knowing this, I was able to alter my procedure and make significant progress. I was finally able to solve four out of the six sides over the course of 45 seconds. Solving the last two sides, however, needed a little more time and effort. My affection for mathematics and science stems mainly from this- both involve a similarly coherent and disciplined approach just like the Rubik’s Cube. 

This past summer, I did research work at Columbia University Medical Center on ion channel membrane proteins and studied their structure and function in the ultimate goal to find drug targets to help cure cancer. When some research experiments provided dubious outcomes, I was given the assignment of checking that the viruses we were working with had been identified correctly. I spent weeks running DNA gels through gel electrophoresis and trying to find specific genes in each virus, but I had varying results. I was exasperated, but rather than giving up on my task, I thought about my past experience with the Rubik’s Cube. Working backwards on the Rubik’s Cube helped me figure out exactly at which step I went wrong.

So I decided to work backwards on my research until I reached the source, the primers, I had used to amplify the DNA and specify the desired mutations were nonspecific, thus making them ineffective in distinguishing the six genes of interest to us. Knowing this, I was able to modify my experiments accordingly, looking at protein content instead of DNA sequences. I was finally able to prove that four of the six viruses were correct. The last two, however, needed to be reanalyzed. Just like the troubleshooting strategy with the Rubik’s Cube, working backwards helped me to find my source of error and ultimately got me 4/6 th of the way through my goal.  My research work was crucial to the graduate student whom I was working with, and he was able to redesign his experiments to account for the fifth and sixth viruses.

Researching in a lab alongside a renowned professor was a thrilling experience for me. I gave up hanging out with my friends on the beach and chose to work with chemicals and viruses instead. My urge to understand these proteins was the driving force of my research. I am incredibly proud of my contribution to solving the puzzle of cancer. It was a small piece, but vital nevertheless. This cerebral inspiration, combined with an aspiration to learn more about life’s ambiguities, compels me to chase a profession with scientific research.

The sense of self-satisfaction and achievement I felt from my research work at the Columbia University was much the same as that I felt upon solving the Rubik’s Cube. This sensation is one I hope to experience throughout my life as the cancer puzzle is unequivocally one of the most critical puzzles of the modern era and certainly the first of a myriad of puzzles I hope to solve in the field of scientific discovery. 

Why this Essay Worked

This sample combines two college essay ideas flawlessly. First, the student introduces us to their love of Rubik’s cubes. Then, they flow into their love of research and the impact they made through their summer internship at a cancer research lab. 

The real power comes in how the student uses their approach to Rubik’s cubes in order to overcome a roadblock in their research. By doing so, the student highlights their problem-solving skills alongside their compassion for others. In this, this essay highlights the writer’s wish to positively impact the world. We can learn a lot about crafting a strong college application essay format from this example.

Our next sample of Common App essays that worked highlights a student’s passion for language . Moreover, it uses a hook and a writing style that makes it a standout essay.

Personal Statement Sample Essay #9

When thinking about how to write a college essay, start by thinking: what could I talk about all day? Great Common App essay examples often focus on passions. This author introduces us to one of their passions—the written word—through a story about an influential English teacher.

Common App Essay Examples #9: A Love for Language 

It is like selecting the perfect pair of socks, I suppose. I envision myself kneeling before the bottommost drawer of my bureau, my chilled feet egging me on, and perusing the trove of choices that awaits my roving fingertips. I meditate on the day’s promises before making my selection – now, did the weatherman say 65 or 55 degrees? Was that rain the Farmers’ Almanac called for? Perhaps I should just wear sandals. After a few more moments of inspection: Ah – there it is! Of perfect hue, texture, and temperament, it is exactly the article for which I sought.

There exists a great parallel between this, the daily hosiery search that begins my mornings, and my lifelong pursuit of the perfect word. Socks and words, both objects of my affection, are united in their enduring qualities: both involve a weighty decision, require a certain shrewdness and pragmatism from the selector, and offer nearly endless options that only intensify the quandary. However, in seventeen years of interaction with both, I informedly pronounce that I find the latter to be infinitely more cumbersome, convoluted, and, thus, beautiful. 

My rendezvous with language began as all children’s do: with crying. On the heels of crying came babbling, soon ousted by laconic speech and finally replaced by comprehensible expression. To my youngest self, language was mechanical and lifeless, a rigid blend of lexicon and grammar that broke as many rules as it created. This sentiment prevailed until I walked into Mrs. Regan’s fourth-grade class.

On that fateful first day, I recall being struck by her inviting personality and stylish plaid frock (I was personally wanting in the department of fashion). Beyond the warmth of her disposition, her pedagogical philosophy was unconventional and striking, even to an easily-distracted girl who wore the same green shirt every day. Her intention was not to satisfy district-determined measures or adhere to the antiquated curricula her coworkers professed. Instead, she pushed her students to invite intellectual challenges and conundrums, exposing us to the complexities of academia that she adored.

Her passion was best evidenced by the infamous vocabulary lists that circulated every Monday, boasting words typically native to a high school workbook. Suddenly, pedestrian exercises in ‘Choosing the Right Word’ were transformed into riveting explorations of the English language’s multiplicity, breadth, and allure. Within weeks I was concocting sentences just to employ ‘voracity’ and asking for synonyms for ‘vociferous’ that could aptly describe my rowdy classmates.

With thanks due to Mrs. Regan’s tutelage, my enthusiasm for words matured into an infatuation. I began to pour through the well-worn dictionary that presided over my nightstand, tasting the foreign syllables as they rolled from my lips. Coincidentally, I was soon given the title of the ‘human dictionary’ at school and have since served as a consultant for my friends and peers, answering questions of “What word fits best here?” or, the age-old query, “Affect or effect?” But the further I read, the more humbled I become, dwarfed by the vastness and mystery of my mother tongue.

Though my ensuing years of education have been enormously fruitful, Mrs. Regan remains my childhood hero on two counts: she encouraged my obsession with the written word and indulged my fourth-grade wish for a challenge. The insatiability I feel puzzling over jargon on PubMed, hearing the ping of Merriam-Webster Dictionary’s word of the day arriving in my inbox, and maybe even shedding a tear at the aesthetic tenor of ‘supercalifragilisticexpialidocious’ can be traced to those days of yore, spent copying definitions in a blockish scrawl. Today, as in that year far gone, I am still in pursuit of the perfect word – ever elusive, sitting on the tip of my tongue. But pouring through the dresser drawers of my mind, abundant with the tokens of my educational and lingual experience, I know it will not be long until I find it.

What makes this essay stand out?

Great Common App essay examples must be well-written. In this essay, the student’s writing mirrors her love for writing; they are both exceptional. Not all effective sample Common App essays need to have large vocabulary words like this essay does. However, they all need to reflect the student’s unique voice and be grammatically correct. 

This essay takes us into the student’s mind, showing us how they think and how much they love the English language. They highlight countless examples of how they embrace the challenge of writing, all through the metaphor of choosing socks. As such, we see a student who is ambitious and passionate. These character traits make them a very desirable candidate.

Common App Essay Examples #10

Next, let’s look at our final sample of Common App essays that worked. In this essay, we’ll explore a student’s relationship to acting and labels throughout their life.

Common App Essay Examples #10: Letting Go of Labels

“Are you ready?” I looked up at the sound of an unfamiliar voice, which I followed to a face caked in a mask of stage makeup. I replied with a curt nod and feigned smile, forcing my expression to oppose the dread welling inside my stomach. In no way did I feel prepared; truthfully, I felt nothing short of ridiculous, clad in an electric green, one-sleeved spandex dress reminiscent of a 4 th grader’s discarded dance ensemble (and no doubt someone’s well-intentioned but unfortunate donation to the costume bin). Trapped in my orb of painful self-awareness, I peeked into the audience, imbibing Coke from the concession stand and looking detachedly at iPhones, waiting for the dimming lights to signify the start of Act I. All I felt was my heart careening into my throat.

Weeks before, I accepted the request to play my ukulele during the high-school production of Godspell the musical. I thereupon decided to enter the wily seas of the theatre arts with the remarkably determined response of “Hey, why not?” Initially, my decision seemed an innocuous one. Playing ukulele? Seeing a show? Indulging in complimentary refreshments? The positive haze that enveloped the future reminded me that this could be my shot – the chance of realizing my Audra-McDonald-and-Angela-Lansbury-inspired dreams of performing, a dream left behind long ago.

Music and theatre forever had been a part of me, a shaper of the fantasies of grandeur and fame inherent with childhood. Christened with the bellows of Tchaikovsky and Dvořák and raised alongside a sister infatuated with the spotlight, it seemed only natural for me to ascend to my own musical perch. As years passed, however, my shier disposition guided me to athletics, and I soon became the recipient of patronizing nods when I explained that, no, I did not sing too. Even so, with the purchase of a ukulele, my passion became a quiet one, made undeniably alive in the moments everyone left the house and silenced as the family car pulled in again. 

Unfortunately, no late-night bedroom performance could have prepared me to step before an audience. In the wing, someone grabbed my arm and motioned onto the stage. My legs took on the cartoon effect of wobbling back and forth, and I plastered a perturbed grin on my face as a sorry attempt at joy (probably reading more a grimace than the beacon of ecstasy I had hoped). The cast shuffled onto the stage, cloaked in the colors of Stephen Schwartz’s vision, and the cue sounded for the song to start.

I stood arrested under the searing lights, feeling my heart race and sweat glands dilate. I looked into a faceless audience, blackened by the concentration of light striking my retina. Blinking and restoring my vision, I glanced beside me and saw the warmth and undiluted joy of my peers. Their smiles were not feigned. A lone flautist tooted out the first notes and, still watching over my shoulder, I fumbled to make a C chord. The tune began; I inhaled and opened my mouth and sang. 

I used to fashion square containers in my mind, ones in which I placed my friends, acquaintances, and, often, myself. I smacked a label on the box – maybe ‘Equestrian’, ‘Mathematical Genius’, or ‘Makes a Mean Stew’ – and relied upon my scheme, this Dewey Decimal System of my interpersonal library, to govern my conceptions of those around me. Only once I had lumped myself into the ‘Athlete’ bin and sealed the lid did I notice that an air-tight container is not where I belong, not where any free-thinking, passionate, idiosyncratic being belongs. Immersing myself into the vibrancy of the Godspell stage, uke in tow, and exuding what I had internalized shattered this jejune way of categorizing the world.

As I reassessed my perspective, I thought, maybe one day I’ll become a crusader of self-expression, a lover of every powerful facet that culminates in the individual, no matter where I find myself. Until then, I’ll keep on singing – not proudly, not defiantly, and definitely not concordantly, but my voice will pipe to the intricate, malleable tune of myself.

One college application essay format that works for some students is to take us directly into a scene through dialogue. This is often an effective hook. Here, the author uses this tactic to capture our attention. They also describe the moment before they step on stage with evocative details, allowing us to experience their anxiety. This is another great example of showing and not telling. 

However, the author’s anxiety about acting transforms into several realizations about their relationship to the arts. Fear led them to stop acting, and embrace athletics instead. However, in the end, the author realizes that they don’t need to choose one or the other. Instead, they can continue to evolve and explore new sides of themself as they grow. 

Undoubtedly, college admissions officers evaluated this writeras a lifelong learner who faces fears and constantly questions society’s assumptions. Like many compelling personal statement sample essays, this student takes us on a journey through her self-development.

How to write a college essay?

We’ve looked at 10 successful Common App essay examples. Now, you might be wondering how to write a college essay that is equally as compelling. Let’s look at some college essay tips to help you ace the process :

4 tips for writing college essays

1. start early.

We can almost guarantee that none of the Common App essay examples featured here were written overnight. In fact, these Common App essays that worked required ample time to choose a topic, reflect on one’s growth, write the essay, get feedback, and edit. 

Often, to write a successful essay, one must step away from a piece and come back to it. As such, it is important to give yourself plenty of time to write your essay. For most, this means several months. If you’re a college junior, start the summer before your senior year. 

2. Be you, specifically and authentically

Whether you’re writing about an injury or a favorite book, make sure your college essay ideas are meaningful and personal. Pick a topic that you could passionately talk about all day. Furthermore, always speak about your ideas and experiences in detail. Telling us that you love books is not as powerful as telling us how your parents had to continually turn off the lights in your room because you would stay up all night reading.

3. Write many drafts

Your first draft is often not your best draft. In fact, it can take upwards of 3-4 drafts to get to an essay that you’re proud of. Likewise, prepare yourself for the possibility of completely scrapping one of your college essay topics or reworking your entire college application essay format. These are all natural parts of the process.

4. Get help from others

Like many of the most challenging things in life, applying to college is best done with help. When brainstorming college essay topics, consider asking friends and family what makes you stand out in their minds. Ask experts like a CollegeAdvisor admissions counselor or an English teacher to review your essay. And, of course, read many examples of college essays to find inspiration. But don’t forget that you aren’t alone in this process!

We’ve now talked about how to write a college essay and looked at some Common App essay examples. But what makes a great college essay? We’ll explore characteristics of Common App essays that worked next.

What makes a great college essay?

We’ve looked at many Common App essay examples in this guide. As you’ve likely noticed, there is no single perfect recipe for college essays that worked. In fact, these sample Common App essays are all very different. From college essay topics to college application essay format, there is great diversity in what makes a great college essay. 

Still, there are some traits that many great Common App essay examples share. Here are a few:

Unique to the student 

Among the most important college essay tips is to write about what matters to you. If you try to copy someone else’s idea or write what you think colleges want to hear, your essay will feel forced. Instead, choose the topic that immediately catches your attention. This will lead to you writing about your most meaningful experiences. These could be anything from growing up without money to remembering your favorite toy. The personal statement sample essays we highlighted touch on many different topics. However, all of them were important to the authors.

Along with this, focus on writing in your own voice. If you don’t naturally write with four syllable vocabulary words, then don’t try to do so in your essay. Our personal statement sample essays highlighted several different writing styles, and they all worked.

Well-written

You don’t have to write like a college professor. However your essay does have to be easy to read and free of grammatical errors . Note that our personal statement sample essays were free from slang and typographical errors. In part, admissions officers are assessing your writing abilities. Show them the best writing you can produce.

Undoubtedly, admissions officers are looking to see how you reflect upon your experiences. Ideally, they want to see personal growth. What did you learn? What do you value? How do you solve problems? How do you approach challenges? All of our Common app essay examples demonstrate the author reflecting upon their experience in order to answer such questions. 

Additional Common App Essay Tips

We’ve covered a lot of ground in this guide to Common App essay examples. To finish, we have a few more tips from what we saw in our personal statement sample essays.

Show, don’t tell

A common literary approach that all of the sample Common App essays employed is the maxim of “show, don’t tell.” Though this is a cliché piece of advice , it is critical to all college essays that worked. It involves using descriptive language, dialogue, and other details to make your story come to life. Imagine you are a film director – how would you describe the story you are trying to tell in 3D detail? Our sample Common App essays were chock full of details that brought each story to life and made for an engaging read.

Find a hook

A hook is a compelling start to an essay. It is one of the most common aspects of a successful college application essay format. A hook can look like a piece of dialogue, an evocative sentence, or a surprising statement. If you look at our Common App essay examples, you’ll see that they all start with an interesting hook.

Read your essay aloud

The last of our college essay tips has to do with how you edit your essay. We recommend reading it aloud to yourself. This not only helps with finding typos or wordiness; it also allows you to connect with the emotion behind your essay. Does reading it make tears well in your eyes? Does it make you laugh? If so, you’re likely onto something great. Reading your essay out loud also helps to know if it sounds natural. As we stated earlier, all of our sample Common App essays capture the unique voices of different students.

Other CollegeAdvisor Essay Resources to Explore

At CollegeAdvisor, we’re committed to helping you ace the admissions process and get into a school that makes you happy. As such, beyond this article with sample Common App essays, we have other resources to guide you through the essay process.

Common App Essays 2023‒2024

If you liked reading our Common App essay examples, check out this article about personal statement sample essays. You’ll find more college essay ideas and college essay tips inside. 

Alternatively, if you’re already in college but are considering transferring , we have a guide for writing your transfer essay. With this guide, you’ll be able to reflect on why a new school might be a better fit for you. You’ll also learn how to ensure that your application to a new school is compelling. Since transfer essays have a slightly different college application essay format, you shouldn’t simply recycle a past personal statement.

Additionally, we have helpful webinars about writing your Common App essay. Our webinar on crafting your unique story will help you think about what kind of characteristics or branding you wish to highlight in your essay. Thinking in this way may feel more natural than trying to simply answer a prompt. 

Crafting Your Story: Effective Strategies for College Essays

If you’re a junior , our webinar on using the summer before your senior year to get ahead on writing your personal statement will help you get organized. Resources like these can help make the college application process much less stressful. We can guarantee that each of these sample Common App essays took a good amount of time to write. With that in mind, starting early is key.

Common App Essay Examples – Final Takeaways

In this article, we showed you ten Common App essay examples and broke down why they are Common App essays that worked. Hopefully, you can now answer both the questions “what is a personal statement?” and “what makes great sample Common App essays?”. If you remember only one of our featured college essay tips, let it be to stay true to yourself in your essay. 

The process of applying to college, and especially being vulnerable in an essay, can be daunting. However, CollegeAdvisor is here to support you. In addition to providing dozens of examples of college essays and other resources , we offer personalized admissions guidance designed to help students succeed. Click here to connect with a member of our team and learn more. 

Courtney Ng wrote this guide full of Common App Essay Examples. Looking for more admissions support? Click  here  to schedule a free meeting with one of our Admissions Specialists. During your meeting, our team will discuss your profile and help you find targeted ways to increase your admissions odds at top schools. We’ll also answer any questions and discuss how  CollegeAdvisor.com  can support you in the college application process.

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