how can argumentative essay help resolve conflicts

Essay on Resolving Conflicts

Students are often asked to write an essay on Resolving Conflicts in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Resolving Conflicts

Understanding conflicts.

Conflicts are disagreements or fights that happen when people have different ideas or feelings. They can happen between friends, family, or even countries. It’s important to know how to resolve conflicts to keep peace and harmony.

Listening Carefully

The first step in resolving conflicts is to listen carefully. Each person should explain their side of the story without being interrupted. By listening, we can understand the other person’s feelings and point of view.

Expressing Feelings

After listening, it’s important to express your feelings. Use “I” statements, like “I feel upset when…” instead of blaming the other person. This helps avoid more fights.

Finding a Solution

Finally, work together to find a solution. Think of different ways to solve the problem and choose the best one. It’s important to find a solution that is fair to everyone. This way, everyone feels happy at the end.

Practice Patience

250 words essay on resolving conflicts.

Conflicts or fights are a part of life. They happen when two or more people have different ideas or beliefs. It can occur at home, school, or even on the playground. It’s important to know how to solve these conflicts in a peaceful way.

Steps to Resolve Conflicts

The first step is to calm down. When we are angry, we often say things we don’t mean. So, take deep breaths and count to ten before you speak.

The second step is to understand the problem. What is the conflict about? Why is it happening? It’s important to know the answers to these questions.

The third step is to listen to each other. Each person should have a chance to speak without being interrupted. This helps everyone feel heard and respected.

Creating Solutions

Once everyone has had a chance to speak, it’s time to think of a solution. This should be something that works for everyone. It may take some time and patience, but it’s worth it in the end.

Learning from Conflicts

In conclusion, resolving conflicts is an important skill that everyone should learn. It helps us live in peace with others and makes our world a better place.

500 Words Essay on Resolving Conflicts

Understanding conflict.

Conflict is a part of life. It happens when people have different views or opinions about something. For instance, you might want to play football, but your friend wants to play basketball. That’s a conflict. It’s not bad or good; it just is. But, it’s important to know how to solve it.

Why is Conflict Resolution Important?

Now, let’s talk about how to solve conflicts. There are five steps to do this.

Step 1: Calm Down

First, you need to calm down. When we’re upset, we can’t think clearly. So, take deep breaths. If you need to, take a break and come back when you’re calm.

Step 2: Understand the Problem

Step 3: listen to each other.

This step is very important. You need to listen to each other. Hear what the other person has to say. Try to understand their point of view. This shows respect and helps you understand the problem better.

Step 4: Find a Solution

Now, it’s time to find a solution. Think about different ways to solve the problem. Maybe you can play football today and basketball tomorrow. Or, maybe you can play a game that you both like. The solution should be fair to both of you.

Step 5: Agree on the Solution

Finally, you need to agree on the solution. This means that both of you are happy with it. If one person isn’t happy, then it’s not a good solution. So, keep talking until you find a solution that works for both of you.

Practice Makes Perfect

Resolving conflicts isn’t easy. It takes practice. But, the more you do it, the better you’ll get at it. And remember, it’s okay to ask for help. If you’re having a hard time solving a conflict, talk to a trusted adult. They can give you advice and help you find a solution.

In conclusion, conflict is a part of life. But, knowing how to solve it can make life a lot easier. So, remember these steps the next time you have a conflict. They can help you keep your relationships healthy and make you feel good about yourself.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

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What is Conflict Resolution, and How Does It Work?

How to manage conflict at work through conflict resolution

By Katie Shonk — on August 22nd, 2024 / Conflict Resolution

If you work with others, sooner or later you will almost inevitably face the need for conflict resolution. You may need to mediate a dispute between two members of your department. Or you may find yourself angered by something a colleague reportedly said about you in a meeting. Or you may need to engage in conflict resolution with a client over a missed deadline. In organizations, conflict is inevitable, and good conflict management tools are essential.

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What is conflict resolution, and how can you use it to settle disputes in your workplace?

Conflict resolution can be defined as the informal or formal process that two or more parties use to find a peaceful solution to their dispute.

A number of common cognitive and emotional traps, many of them unconscious, can exacerbate conflict and contribute to the need for conflict resolution:

• Self-serving fairness interpretations. Rather than deciding what’s fair from a position of neutrality, we interpret what would be most fair to us, then justify this preference on the bases of fairness. For example, department heads are likely to each think they deserve the lion’s share of the annual budget. Disagreements about what’s fairlead to clashes.

• Overconfidence. We tend to be overconfident in our judgments, a tendency that leads us to unrealistic expectations. Disputants are likely to be overconfident about their odds of winning a lawsuit, for instance, an error that can lead them to shun a negotiated settlement that would save them time and money.

• Escalation of commitment. Whether negotiators are dealing with a labor strike, a merger, or an argument with a colleague, they are likely to irrationally escalate their commitment to their chosen course of action, long after it has proven useful. We desperately try to recoup our past investments in a dispute (such as money spent on legal fees), failing to recognize that such “sunk costs” should play no role in our decisions about the future.

• Conflict avoidance. Because negative emotions cause us discomfort and distress, we may try to tamp them down, hoping that our feelings will dissipate with time. In fact, conflict tends to become more entrenched, and parties have a greater need for conflict resolution when they avoid dealing with their strong emotions.

Given these and other pitfalls, how can you set up a constructive conflict resolution process when dealing with conflict at work and other realms? Conflicts can be resolved in a variety of ways, including negotiation, mediation, arbitration, and litigation.

• Negotiation. In conflict resolution, you can and should draw on the same principles of collaborative negotiation that you use in dealmaking. For example, you should aim to explore the interests underlying parties’ positions, such as a desire to resolve a dispute without attracting negative publicity or to repair a damaged business relationship. In addition, determine your best alternative to a negotiated agreement , or BATNA —what you will do if you fail to reach an agreement, such as finding a new partner or filing a lawsuit. By brainstorming options and looking for tradeoffs across issues, you may be able to negotiate a satisfactory outcome to your dispute without the aid of outside parties.

• Mediation. In mediation, disputants enlist a trained, neutral third party to help them come to a consensus. Rather than imposing a solution, a professional mediator encourages disputants to explore the interests underlying their positions. Working with parties both together and separately, mediators seek to help them discover a resolution that is sustainable, voluntary, and nonbinding.

• Arbitration. In arbitration, which can resemble a court trial, a neutral third party serves as a judge who makes decisions to end the dispute. The arbitrator listens to the arguments and evidence presented by each side, then renders a binding and often confidential decision. Although disputants typically cannot appeal an arbitrator’s decision, they can negotiate most aspects of the arbitration process, including whether lawyers will be present and which standards of evidence will be used.

• Litigation. In civil litigation, a defendant and a plaintiff face off before either a judge or a judge and jury, who weigh the evidence and make a ruling. Information presented in hearings and trials usually enters the public record. Lawyers typically dominate litigation, which often ends in a negotiated settlement during the pretrial period.

In general, it makes sense to start off less-expensive, less-formal conflict resolution procedures, such as negotiation and mediation, before making the larger commitments of money and time that arbitration and litigation often demand. Conflict-resolution training can further enhance your ability to negotiate satisfactory resolutions to your disputes.

What conflict resolution methods have you tried before? Leave us a comment.

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No Responses to “What is Conflict Resolution, and How Does It Work?”

4 responses to “what is conflict resolution, and how does it work”.

Conflict resolution arise due to dispute between two parties involved in any trade , it can be solved with fair negotiation or through Mediator or through arbitrator or through litigation.

Wondful work keep up pls.

Conflict resolution is way of settling misundestanding between two or more bodies on a matter through dialog.

Conflict Resolution can also be defined as a strong will and determination to create solution to a misunderstanding between two or more parties

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Essays About Conflict: Top 5 Examples and 7 Writing Prompts

Writing about disagreements between two or more groups is a challenge. To help you write this topic, see our examples and prompts for essays about conflict.

Conflict is a clash between two parties, often because of religious, social, or political disagreements. The ongoing war between Russia and Ukraine began in early 2014 and is an example of armed conflict. It affects the citizens, economy, tourism, and other sectors of the two countries, with impacts reaching other areas of the world.

In literature, conflict is an integral part of fictional stories that justifies characters’ actions and keeps readers engaged. Conflict is also a part of our everyday lives; from disagreements with family members to arguments with friends, we’ve all experienced conflict at one time or another. Since conflict is a sensitive topic, a critical rule in writing conflict essays is to always rely on factual evidence.

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5 Essay Examples

1. why is conflict important by anonymous on studymoose.com, 2. analysis on conflict perspective in titanic by anonymous on edubirdie.com, 3. conflicts of difference in religion in the middle east by jennifer logan, 4. conflicts in relationship by james taylor, 5. workplace conflict by lindsey latoya, 1. the nature, type, and causes of conflict, 2. how achieving goals promotes intrapersonal conflict, 3. conflicts between nations then and now, 4. karl marx’s theory of conflict, 5. conflict: intrapersonal vs. interpersonal, 6. terrorism, conflict, and the tourism industry, 7. the influence of culture on conflicts.

“… Conflict is a big part of the story and it makes the story interesting. Without conflict, the story seems plain and there’s no flare to get people to want to read it or enjoy it. Some authors use man against himself, man against nature, man against society, and man against man.”

This essay explains why conflict is integral for stories, mentioning that it makes a literary piece exciting enough to maintain the readers’ attention. The author uses Richard Connell’s “ The Most Dangerous Game ” to prove their point and delves into relevant scenes demonstrating different conflicts. For example, the scene where the main character fights against the big waves to reach the island for safety exemplifies the conflict of Man against Nature.

“The film is an excellent example of the perspective of conflict, every scene is thoughtful, and reflects the discrimination and exploitation that the working class society faces.”

The author offers several citations to support their claim that the 1997 Titanic film is more than a romantic tragedy. Putting Rose and Jack’s love story aside, the movie also depicts the differences between social classes that link them to conflict theory. According to the founder of this theory, the leading cause of conflicts is the unequal distribution of power and resources among people.

The essay brings up several film segments that cement these differences, such as the standard rule of “women and children first” when evacuating people during a disaster. Although the tragedy claimed the lives of both lower and upper-class men, the movie conveys an important message that everyone will suffer, regardless of class, in times of calamity.

“The Middle East has been in a state of turmoil since the early 1990’s. Conflicts arose from differences in religion, control over territories, and uneven political distribution. These conflicts were not just between countries, but also within individual countries.”

Although this essay doesn’t reveal the root cause of conflicts in the Middle East, it shows the magnitude of the impact of these fights caused by religious differences, territorial disputes, and political inequality. Logan explains that government instability in the Middle East makes it possible for various terrorist to express their grievances and desires through violence.

“As you start your married life, know that conflicts are a must and communication is the key to solving such issues. When married people see the need to manage interpersonal conflicts rather than ignoring them, their marriage becomes functional and happy.”

Couples usually avoid conflicts in their relationships, but Taylor knows it’s inevitable. A relationship without interpersonal conflict can become weak and often leads to separation. He believes that people who ignore problems to avoid conflicts with their partners develop negative emotions that destroy love. Taylor explains that bringing one’s gender and culture into the conversation is the key to resolving disputes, as it prevents miscommunication and demonstrates equal power.

“By better understanding how conflict arise, and practicing handling such conflict in an assertive way, it can become far less intimidating and be an aspect of work you can learn to manage rather than have it manage you.”

Latoya’s essay focuses on how Chinese people avoid conflicts to promote peace and avoid discord, especially workplace disagreements. She describes workplace conflict as work-related or personal tension between two or more forces with differing values and perspectives.

Latoya mentions three techniques to clear up these issues: stimulating, controlling, and resolving and eliminating disputes. Ultimately, the author believes that every manager must maintain emotional distance and focus on conflict resolution by listening, empathizing, and guiding members who have conflicts.

For help with your essays, check out our round-up of the best essay checkers

7 Prompts for Writing Essays About Conflicts

Conflict is diverse and includes essential features that need to be discussed. For this prompt, focus on the conflict in its universality and explain the four major types of conflict. Identify and explain the causes of various conflict categories. Then, give real-life cases of each so the readers can understand and relate to these examples. You might be interested in these essays about cause and effect and essays about curiosity .

Various factors are considered to find the root cause of conflicts. This prompt focuses on elements that promote intrapersonal conflicts, such as frustration, stress, anxiety, and insecurity.

Tell your readers about a specific situation where the desire to achieve a goal made you feel various negative emotions. Then share what conflict management style you used to resolve this conflict and peacefully achieve your goals.

Essays About Conflicts: Conflicts between nations then and now

Our history is filled with strife between groups rallying to support what they believe is right. Such as the case of World War II, which claimed 35 to 60 million lives. In this essay, write about historical and current conflicts and explain their origins. Then, examine the efforts made by past and present governments to resolve these disputes, including the positive or negative impacts of these conflicts on the world at large.

To give credence to Karl Marx ’s Theory of Conflict, introduce him by speaking about his background and accomplishments. Then, refocus on Conflict Theory’s meaning, importance, and how it’s applied to understand society. Offer studies and cases that prove Conflict Theory’s existence. Then discuss the advantages and disadvantages of using this theory to understand and resolve disagreements.

Intrapersonal conflict refers to disputes within yourself, while interpersonal conflict concerns misunderstandings with others. In your essay, compare and contrast these two types of conflict and present common situations where these would occur.

For example, interpersonal conflict could be a disagreement with a coworker, whereas intrapersonal conflict could be an internal struggle with your emotions. Then, add tips on how individuals should respond to these conflicts to avoid further damage. You might also like these essays about stress and articles about attitude .

Essays About Conflicts: Terrorism, conflict, and the tourism industry

Terrorism is urged by unfair treatment and different beliefs. Tourism is one of the industries most affected when terrorism occurs in a particular area or country. Use this prompt to discuss the typical impacts of terrorism on a location’s travel and tourism industry. Include reliable articles that report on tourism’s decline after the emergence of terrorism and conflicts.

Conflict usually emerges due to cultural differences between individuals or communities. In your essay, speak about how culture plays a vital role in instigating and mitigating conflicts. For example, the American Civil War occurred because of cultural conflicts because of different views on slavery. Look into past cultural conflicts such as these for a compelling historical essay.

If you need help picking your next essay topic, check out our guide on writing an essay about diversity .

3 Ways to Make Conflict Less Destructive

Two ropes pulling on a larger rope to shape its path

“Do you think you could sum up the essence of all you’ve learned in one sentence?”

That was the question my friend Jim Collins, the famed leadership author, suddenly asked me as we were hiking up a mountain a few years ago.

“You’ve been wandering around the world for the last 45 years,” he continued, “working in some of the world’s toughest conflicts from the Cold War to the Middle East, from strikes to boardroom battles. What can help us in these times of intense conflict?”

I am an anthropologist by training. If I were a Martian anthropologist looking at us now, I would say we live in a time of great paradox. Never before in human evolution have we enjoyed such an abundance of opportunities to solve the world’s problems and live the life we want for ourselves and our children. And yet at the same time, with the rapid changes and disruptions, we face a wave of destructive conflict that’s polarizing every facet of life from family to work to community to our world—and paralyzing our ability to work together.

How do we navigate this stormy time to be able to realize the enormous opportunities we have at hand?

First, we need to be realistic: we can’t end conflict. Nor should we . In fact, we may actually need more conflict, not less—and by that, I mean the healthy conflict that allows us to engage our differences, grow, and change what needs to be changed. The choice we face is not to get rid of conflict but to transform it from destructive fighting into creative, constructive, collaborative negotiation.

So what do we need to transform our conflicts and navigate these tumultuous times?

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Wilmot, W. W., & Hocker, J. L. (2018). Interpersonal Conflict. McGraw-Hill Education.
Fisher, R., Ury, W., & Patton, B. (2011). Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. Penguin.
Katz, N., & Lawyer, S. (2007). The mediation of conflict. Routledge.
Decety, J., & Jackson, P. L. (2006). A social-neuroscience perspective on empathy. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 15(2), 54-58.
Stewart, C. (2015). Facilitation at a Glance!: Your Pocket Guide to Facilitation. Lulu Press, Inc.

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How to write an argumentative essay | Examples & tips

How to Write an Argumentative Essay | Examples & Tips

Published on July 24, 2020 by Jack Caulfield . Revised on July 23, 2023.

An argumentative essay expresses an extended argument for a particular thesis statement . The author takes a clearly defined stance on their subject and builds up an evidence-based case for it.

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When do you write an argumentative essay, approaches to argumentative essays, introducing your argument, the body: developing your argument, concluding your argument, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about argumentative essays.

You might be assigned an argumentative essay as a writing exercise in high school or in a composition class. The prompt will often ask you to argue for one of two positions, and may include terms like “argue” or “argument.” It will frequently take the form of a question.

The prompt may also be more open-ended in terms of the possible arguments you could make.

Argumentative writing at college level

At university, the vast majority of essays or papers you write will involve some form of argumentation. For example, both rhetorical analysis and literary analysis essays involve making arguments about texts.

In this context, you won’t necessarily be told to write an argumentative essay—but making an evidence-based argument is an essential goal of most academic writing, and this should be your default approach unless you’re told otherwise.

Examples of argumentative essay prompts

At a university level, all the prompts below imply an argumentative essay as the appropriate response.

Your research should lead you to develop a specific position on the topic. The essay then argues for that position and aims to convince the reader by presenting your evidence, evaluation and analysis.

Don’t just list all the effects you can think of.
Do develop a focused argument about the overall effect and why it matters, backed up by evidence from sources.
Don’t just provide a selection of data on the measures’ effectiveness.
Do build up your own argument about which kinds of measures have been most or least effective, and why.
Don’t just analyze a random selection of doppelgänger characters.
Do form an argument about specific texts, comparing and contrasting how they express their thematic concerns through doppelgänger characters.

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An argumentative essay should be objective in its approach; your arguments should rely on logic and evidence, not on exaggeration or appeals to emotion.

There are many possible approaches to argumentative essays, but there are two common models that can help you start outlining your arguments: The Toulmin model and the Rogerian model.

Toulmin arguments

The Toulmin model consists of four steps, which may be repeated as many times as necessary for the argument:

Make a claim
Provide the grounds (evidence) for the claim
Explain the warrant (how the grounds support the claim)
Discuss possible rebuttals to the claim, identifying the limits of the argument and showing that you have considered alternative perspectives

The Toulmin model is a common approach in academic essays. You don’t have to use these specific terms (grounds, warrants, rebuttals), but establishing a clear connection between your claims and the evidence supporting them is crucial in an argumentative essay.

Say you’re making an argument about the effectiveness of workplace anti-discrimination measures. You might:

Claim that unconscious bias training does not have the desired results, and resources would be better spent on other approaches
Cite data to support your claim
Explain how the data indicates that the method is ineffective
Anticipate objections to your claim based on other data, indicating whether these objections are valid, and if not, why not.

Rogerian arguments

The Rogerian model also consists of four steps you might repeat throughout your essay:

Discuss what the opposing position gets right and why people might hold this position
Highlight the problems with this position
Present your own position , showing how it addresses these problems
Suggest a possible compromise —what elements of your position would proponents of the opposing position benefit from adopting?

This model builds up a clear picture of both sides of an argument and seeks a compromise. It is particularly useful when people tend to disagree strongly on the issue discussed, allowing you to approach opposing arguments in good faith.

Say you want to argue that the internet has had a positive impact on education. You might:

Acknowledge that students rely too much on websites like Wikipedia
Argue that teachers view Wikipedia as more unreliable than it really is
Suggest that Wikipedia’s system of citations can actually teach students about referencing
Suggest critical engagement with Wikipedia as a possible assignment for teachers who are skeptical of its usefulness.

You don’t necessarily have to pick one of these models—you may even use elements of both in different parts of your essay—but it’s worth considering them if you struggle to structure your arguments.

Regardless of which approach you take, your essay should always be structured using an introduction , a body , and a conclusion .

Like other academic essays, an argumentative essay begins with an introduction . The introduction serves to capture the reader’s interest, provide background information, present your thesis statement , and (in longer essays) to summarize the structure of the body.

Hover over different parts of the example below to see how a typical introduction works.

The spread of the internet has had a world-changing effect, not least on the world of education. The use of the internet in academic contexts is on the rise, and its role in learning is hotly debated. For many teachers who did not grow up with this technology, its effects seem alarming and potentially harmful. This concern, while understandable, is misguided. The negatives of internet use are outweighed by its critical benefits for students and educators—as a uniquely comprehensive and accessible information source; a means of exposure to and engagement with different perspectives; and a highly flexible learning environment.

The body of an argumentative essay is where you develop your arguments in detail. Here you’ll present evidence, analysis, and reasoning to convince the reader that your thesis statement is true.

In the standard five-paragraph format for short essays, the body takes up three of your five paragraphs. In longer essays, it will be more paragraphs, and might be divided into sections with headings.

Each paragraph covers its own topic, introduced with a topic sentence . Each of these topics must contribute to your overall argument; don’t include irrelevant information.

This example paragraph takes a Rogerian approach: It first acknowledges the merits of the opposing position and then highlights problems with that position.

Hover over different parts of the example to see how a body paragraph is constructed.

A common frustration for teachers is students’ use of Wikipedia as a source in their writing. Its prevalence among students is not exaggerated; a survey found that the vast majority of the students surveyed used Wikipedia (Head & Eisenberg, 2010). An article in The Guardian stresses a common objection to its use: “a reliance on Wikipedia can discourage students from engaging with genuine academic writing” (Coomer, 2013). Teachers are clearly not mistaken in viewing Wikipedia usage as ubiquitous among their students; but the claim that it discourages engagement with academic sources requires further investigation. This point is treated as self-evident by many teachers, but Wikipedia itself explicitly encourages students to look into other sources. Its articles often provide references to academic publications and include warning notes where citations are missing; the site’s own guidelines for research make clear that it should be used as a starting point, emphasizing that users should always “read the references and check whether they really do support what the article says” (“Wikipedia:Researching with Wikipedia,” 2020). Indeed, for many students, Wikipedia is their first encounter with the concepts of citation and referencing. The use of Wikipedia therefore has a positive side that merits deeper consideration than it often receives.

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An argumentative essay ends with a conclusion that summarizes and reflects on the arguments made in the body.

No new arguments or evidence appear here, but in longer essays you may discuss the strengths and weaknesses of your argument and suggest topics for future research. In all conclusions, you should stress the relevance and importance of your argument.

Hover over the following example to see the typical elements of a conclusion.

The internet has had a major positive impact on the world of education; occasional pitfalls aside, its value is evident in numerous applications. The future of teaching lies in the possibilities the internet opens up for communication, research, and interactivity. As the popularity of distance learning shows, students value the flexibility and accessibility offered by digital education, and educators should fully embrace these advantages. The internet’s dangers, real and imaginary, have been documented exhaustively by skeptics, but the internet is here to stay; it is time to focus seriously on its potential for good.

If you want to know more about AI tools , college essays , or fallacies make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples or go directly to our tools!

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An argumentative essay tends to be a longer essay involving independent research, and aims to make an original argument about a topic. Its thesis statement makes a contentious claim that must be supported in an objective, evidence-based way.

An expository essay also aims to be objective, but it doesn’t have to make an original argument. Rather, it aims to explain something (e.g., a process or idea) in a clear, concise way. Expository essays are often shorter assignments and rely less on research.

At college level, you must properly cite your sources in all essays , research papers , and other academic texts (except exams and in-class exercises).

Add a citation whenever you quote , paraphrase , or summarize information or ideas from a source. You should also give full source details in a bibliography or reference list at the end of your text.

The exact format of your citations depends on which citation style you are instructed to use. The most common styles are APA , MLA , and Chicago .

The majority of the essays written at university are some sort of argumentative essay . Unless otherwise specified, you can assume that the goal of any essay you’re asked to write is argumentative: To convince the reader of your position using evidence and reasoning.

In composition classes you might be given assignments that specifically test your ability to write an argumentative essay. Look out for prompts including instructions like “argue,” “assess,” or “discuss” to see if this is the goal.

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How to Write an A+ Argumentative Essay

Miscellaneous

You'll no doubt have to write a number of argumentative essays in both high school and college, but what, exactly, is an argumentative essay and how do you write the best one possible? Let's take a look.

A great argumentative essay always combines the same basic elements: approaching an argument from a rational perspective, researching sources, supporting your claims using facts rather than opinion, and articulating your reasoning into the most cogent and reasoned points. Argumentative essays are great building blocks for all sorts of research and rhetoric, so your teachers will expect you to master the technique before long.

But if this sounds daunting, never fear! We'll show how an argumentative essay differs from other kinds of papers, how to research and write them, how to pick an argumentative essay topic, and where to find example essays. So let's get started.

What Is an Argumentative Essay? How Is it Different from Other Kinds of Essays?

There are two basic requirements for any and all essays: to state a claim (a thesis statement) and to support that claim with evidence.

Though every essay is founded on these two ideas, there are several different types of essays, differentiated by the style of the writing, how the writer presents the thesis, and the types of evidence used to support the thesis statement.

Essays can be roughly divided into four different types:

#1: Argumentative #2: Persuasive #3: Expository #4: Analytical

So let's look at each type and what the differences are between them before we focus the rest of our time to argumentative essays.

Argumentative Essay

Argumentative essays are what this article is all about, so let's talk about them first.

An argumentative essay attempts to convince a reader to agree with a particular argument (the writer's thesis statement). The writer takes a firm stand one way or another on a topic and then uses hard evidence to support that stance.

An argumentative essay seeks to prove to the reader that one argument —the writer's argument— is the factually and logically correct one. This means that an argumentative essay must use only evidence-based support to back up a claim , rather than emotional or philosophical reasoning (which is often allowed in other types of essays). Thus, an argumentative essay has a burden of substantiated proof and sources , whereas some other types of essays (namely persuasive essays) do not.

You can write an argumentative essay on any topic, so long as there's room for argument. Generally, you can use the same topics for both a persuasive essay or an argumentative one, so long as you support the argumentative essay with hard evidence.

Example topics of an argumentative essay:

"Should farmers be allowed to shoot wolves if those wolves injure or kill farm animals?"
"Should the drinking age be lowered in the United States?"
"Are alternatives to democracy effective and/or feasible to implement?"

The next three types of essays are not argumentative essays, but you may have written them in school. We're going to cover them so you know what not to do for your argumentative essay.

Persuasive Essay

Persuasive essays are similar to argumentative essays, so it can be easy to get them confused. But knowing what makes an argumentative essay different than a persuasive essay can often mean the difference between an excellent grade and an average one.

Persuasive essays seek to persuade a reader to agree with the point of view of the writer, whether that point of view is based on factual evidence or not. The writer has much more flexibility in the evidence they can use, with the ability to use moral, cultural, or opinion-based reasoning as well as factual reasoning to persuade the reader to agree the writer's side of a given issue.

Instead of being forced to use "pure" reason as one would in an argumentative essay, the writer of a persuasive essay can manipulate or appeal to the reader's emotions. So long as the writer attempts to steer the readers into agreeing with the thesis statement, the writer doesn't necessarily need hard evidence in favor of the argument.

Often, you can use the same topics for both a persuasive essay or an argumentative one—the difference is all in the approach and the evidence you present.

Example topics of a persuasive essay:

"Should children be responsible for their parents' debts?"
"Should cheating on a test be automatic grounds for expulsion?"
"How much should sports leagues be held accountable for player injuries and the long-term consequences of those injuries?"

Expository Essay

An expository essay is typically a short essay in which the writer explains an idea, issue, or theme , or discusses the history of a person, place, or idea.

This is typically a fact-forward essay with little argument or opinion one way or the other.

Example topics of an expository essay:

"The History of the Philadelphia Liberty Bell"
"The Reasons I Always Wanted to be a Doctor"
"The Meaning Behind the Colloquialism ‘People in Glass Houses Shouldn't Throw Stones'"

Analytical Essay

An analytical essay seeks to delve into the deeper meaning of a text or work of art, or unpack a complicated idea . These kinds of essays closely interpret a source and look into its meaning by analyzing it at both a macro and micro level.

This type of analysis can be augmented by historical context or other expert or widely-regarded opinions on the subject, but is mainly supported directly through the original source (the piece or art or text being analyzed) .

Example topics of an analytical essay:

"Victory Gin in Place of Water: The Symbolism Behind Gin as the Only Potable Substance in George Orwell's 1984"
"Amarna Period Art: The Meaning Behind the Shift from Rigid to Fluid Poses"
"Adultery During WWII, as Told Through a Series of Letters to and from Soldiers"

There are many different types of essay and, over time, you'll be able to master them all.

A Typical Argumentative Essay Assignment

The average argumentative essay is between three to five pages, and will require at least three or four separate sources with which to back your claims . As for the essay topic , you'll most often be asked to write an argumentative essay in an English class on a "general" topic of your choice, ranging the gamut from science, to history, to literature.

But while the topics of an argumentative essay can span several different fields, the structure of an argumentative essay is always the same: you must support a claim—a claim that can reasonably have multiple sides—using multiple sources and using a standard essay format (which we'll talk about later on).

This is why many argumentative essay topics begin with the word "should," as in:

"Should all students be required to learn chemistry in high school?"
"Should children be required to learn a second language?"
"Should schools or governments be allowed to ban books?"

These topics all have at least two sides of the argument: Yes or no. And you must support the side you choose with evidence as to why your side is the correct one.

But there are also plenty of other ways to frame an argumentative essay as well:

"Does using social media do more to benefit or harm people?"
"Does the legal status of artwork or its creators—graffiti and vandalism, pirated media, a creator who's in jail—have an impact on the art itself?"
"Is or should anyone ever be ‘above the law?'"

Though these are worded differently than the first three, you're still essentially forced to pick between two sides of an issue: yes or no, for or against, benefit or detriment. Though your argument might not fall entirely into one side of the divide or another—for instance, you could claim that social media has positively impacted some aspects of modern life while being a detriment to others—your essay should still support one side of the argument above all. Your final stance would be that overall , social media is beneficial or overall , social media is harmful.

If your argument is one that is mostly text-based or backed by a single source (e.g., "How does Salinger show that Holden Caulfield is an unreliable narrator?" or "Does Gatsby personify the American Dream?"), then it's an analytical essay, rather than an argumentative essay. An argumentative essay will always be focused on more general topics so that you can use multiple sources to back up your claims.

Good Argumentative Essay Topics

So you know the basic idea behind an argumentative essay, but what topic should you write about?

Again, almost always, you'll be asked to write an argumentative essay on a free topic of your choice, or you'll be asked to select between a few given topics . If you're given complete free reign of topics, then it'll be up to you to find an essay topic that no only appeals to you, but that you can turn into an A+ argumentative essay.

What makes a "good" argumentative essay topic depends on both the subject matter and your personal interest —it can be hard to give your best effort on something that bores you to tears! But it can also be near impossible to write an argumentative essay on a topic that has no room for debate.

As we said earlier, a good argumentative essay topic will be one that has the potential to reasonably go in at least two directions—for or against, yes or no, and why . For example, it's pretty hard to write an argumentative essay on whether or not people should be allowed to murder one another—not a whole lot of debate there for most people!—but writing an essay for or against the death penalty has a lot more wiggle room for evidence and argument.

A good topic is also one that can be substantiated through hard evidence and relevant sources . So be sure to pick a topic that other people have studied (or at least studied elements of) so that you can use their data in your argument. For example, if you're arguing that it should be mandatory for all middle school children to play a sport, you might have to apply smaller scientific data points to the larger picture you're trying to justify. There are probably several studies you could cite on the benefits of physical activity and the positive effect structure and teamwork has on young minds, but there's probably no study you could use where a group of scientists put all middle-schoolers in one jurisdiction into a mandatory sports program (since that's probably never happened). So long as your evidence is relevant to your point and you can extrapolate from it to form a larger whole, you can use it as a part of your resource material.

And if you need ideas on where to get started, or just want to see sample argumentative essay topics, then check out these links for hundreds of potential argumentative essay topics.

101 Persuasive (or Argumentative) Essay and Speech Topics

301 Prompts for Argumentative Writing

Top 50 Ideas for Argumentative/Persuasive Essay Writing

[Note: some of these say "persuasive essay topics," but just remember that the same topic can often be used for both a persuasive essay and an argumentative essay; the difference is in your writing style and the evidence you use to support your claims.]

KO! Find that one argumentative essay topic you can absolutely conquer.

Argumentative Essay Format

Argumentative Essays are composed of four main elements:

A position (your argument)
Your reasons
Supporting evidence for those reasons (from reliable sources)
Counterargument(s) (possible opposing arguments and reasons why those arguments are incorrect)

If you're familiar with essay writing in general, then you're also probably familiar with the five paragraph essay structure . This structure is a simple tool to show how one outlines an essay and breaks it down into its component parts, although it can be expanded into as many paragraphs as you want beyond the core five.

The standard argumentative essay is often 3-5 pages, which will usually mean a lot more than five paragraphs, but your overall structure will look the same as a much shorter essay.

An argumentative essay at its simplest structure will look like:

Paragraph 1: Intro

Set up the story/problem/issue
Thesis/claim

Paragraph 2: Support

Reason #1 claim is correct
Supporting evidence with sources

Paragraph 3: Support

Reason #2 claim is correct

Paragraph 4: Counterargument

Explanation of argument for the other side
Refutation of opposing argument with supporting evidence

Paragraph 5: Conclusion

Re-state claim
Sum up reasons and support of claim from the essay to prove claim is correct

Now let's unpack each of these paragraph types to see how they work (with examples!), what goes into them, and why.

Paragraph 1—Set Up and Claim

Your first task is to introduce the reader to the topic at hand so they'll be prepared for your claim. Give a little background information, set the scene, and give the reader some stakes so that they care about the issue you're going to discuss.

Next, you absolutely must have a position on an argument and make that position clear to the readers. It's not an argumentative essay unless you're arguing for a specific claim, and this claim will be your thesis statement.

Your thesis CANNOT be a mere statement of fact (e.g., "Washington DC is the capital of the United States"). Your thesis must instead be an opinion which can be backed up with evidence and has the potential to be argued against (e.g., "New York should be the capital of the United States").

Paragraphs 2 and 3—Your Evidence

These are your body paragraphs in which you give the reasons why your argument is the best one and back up this reasoning with concrete evidence .

The argument supporting the thesis of an argumentative essay should be one that can be supported by facts and evidence, rather than personal opinion or cultural or religious mores.

For example, if you're arguing that New York should be the new capital of the US, you would have to back up that fact by discussing the factual contrasts between New York and DC in terms of location, population, revenue, and laws. You would then have to talk about the precedents for what makes for a good capital city and why New York fits the bill more than DC does.

Your argument can't simply be that a lot of people think New York is the best city ever and that you agree.

In addition to using concrete evidence, you always want to keep the tone of your essay passionate, but impersonal . Even though you're writing your argument from a single opinion, don't use first person language—"I think," "I feel," "I believe,"—to present your claims. Doing so is repetitive, since by writing the essay you're already telling the audience what you feel, and using first person language weakens your writing voice.

For example,

"I think that Washington DC is no longer suited to be the capital city of the United States."

"Washington DC is no longer suited to be the capital city of the United States."

The second statement sounds far stronger and more analytical.

Paragraph 4—Argument for the Other Side and Refutation

Even without a counter argument, you can make a pretty persuasive claim, but a counterargument will round out your essay into one that is much more persuasive and substantial.

By anticipating an argument against your claim and taking the initiative to counter it, you're allowing yourself to get ahead of the game. This way, you show that you've given great thought to all sides of the issue before choosing your position, and you demonstrate in multiple ways how yours is the more reasoned and supported side.

Paragraph 5—Conclusion

This paragraph is where you re-state your argument and summarize why it's the best claim.

Briefly touch on your supporting evidence and voila! A finished argumentative essay.

Your essay should have just as awesome a skeleton as this plesiosaur does. (In other words: a ridiculously awesome skeleton)

Argumentative Essay Example: 5-Paragraph Style

It always helps to have an example to learn from. I've written a full 5-paragraph argumentative essay here. Look at how I state my thesis in paragraph 1, give supporting evidence in paragraphs 2 and 3, address a counterargument in paragraph 4, and conclude in paragraph 5.

Topic: Is it possible to maintain conflicting loyalties?

Paragraph 1

It is almost impossible to go through life without encountering a situation where your loyalties to different people or causes come into conflict with each other. Maybe you have a loving relationship with your sister, but she disagrees with your decision to join the army, or you find yourself torn between your cultural beliefs and your scientific ones. These conflicting loyalties can often be maintained for a time, but as examples from both history and psychological theory illustrate, sooner or later, people have to make a choice between competing loyalties, as no one can maintain a conflicting loyalty or belief system forever.

The first two sentences set the scene and give some hypothetical examples and stakes for the reader to care about.

The third sentence finishes off the intro with the thesis statement, making very clear how the author stands on the issue ("people have to make a choice between competing loyalties, as no one can maintain a conflicting loyalty or belief system forever." )

Paragraphs 2 and 3

Psychological theory states that human beings are not equipped to maintain conflicting loyalties indefinitely and that attempting to do so leads to a state called "cognitive dissonance." Cognitive dissonance theory is the psychological idea that people undergo tremendous mental stress or anxiety when holding contradictory beliefs, values, or loyalties (Festinger, 1957). Even if human beings initially hold a conflicting loyalty, they will do their best to find a mental equilibrium by making a choice between those loyalties—stay stalwart to a belief system or change their beliefs. One of the earliest formal examples of cognitive dissonance theory comes from Leon Festinger's When Prophesy Fails . Members of an apocalyptic cult are told that the end of the world will occur on a specific date and that they alone will be spared the Earth's destruction. When that day comes and goes with no apocalypse, the cult members face a cognitive dissonance between what they see and what they've been led to believe (Festinger, 1956). Some choose to believe that the cult's beliefs are still correct, but that the Earth was simply spared from destruction by mercy, while others choose to believe that they were lied to and that the cult was fraudulent all along. Both beliefs cannot be correct at the same time, and so the cult members are forced to make their choice.

But even when conflicting loyalties can lead to potentially physical, rather than just mental, consequences, people will always make a choice to fall on one side or other of a dividing line. Take, for instance, Nicolaus Copernicus, a man born and raised in Catholic Poland (and educated in Catholic Italy). Though the Catholic church dictated specific scientific teachings, Copernicus' loyalty to his own observations and scientific evidence won out over his loyalty to his country's government and belief system. When he published his heliocentric model of the solar system--in opposition to the geocentric model that had been widely accepted for hundreds of years (Hannam, 2011)-- Copernicus was making a choice between his loyalties. In an attempt t o maintain his fealty both to the established system and to what he believed, h e sat on his findings for a number of years (Fantoli, 1994). But, ultimately, Copernicus made the choice to side with his beliefs and observations above all and published his work for the world to see (even though, in doing so, he risked both his reputation and personal freedoms).

These two paragraphs provide the reasons why the author supports the main argument and uses substantiated sources to back those reasons.

The paragraph on cognitive dissonance theory gives both broad supporting evidence and more narrow, detailed supporting evidence to show why the thesis statement is correct not just anecdotally but also scientifically and psychologically. First, we see why people in general have a difficult time accepting conflicting loyalties and desires and then how this applies to individuals through the example of the cult members from the Dr. Festinger's research.

The next paragraph continues to use more detailed examples from history to provide further evidence of why the thesis that people cannot indefinitely maintain conflicting loyalties is true.

Paragraph 4

Some will claim that it is possible to maintain conflicting beliefs or loyalties permanently, but this is often more a matter of people deluding themselves and still making a choice for one side or the other, rather than truly maintaining loyalty to both sides equally. For example, Lancelot du Lac typifies a person who claims to maintain a balanced loyalty between to two parties, but his attempt to do so fails (as all attempts to permanently maintain conflicting loyalties must). Lancelot tells himself and others that he is equally devoted to both King Arthur and his court and to being Queen Guinevere's knight (Malory, 2008). But he can neither be in two places at once to protect both the king and queen, nor can he help but let his romantic feelings for the queen to interfere with his duties to the king and the kingdom. Ultimately, he and Queen Guinevere give into their feelings for one another and Lancelot—though he denies it—chooses his loyalty to her over his loyalty to Arthur. This decision plunges the kingdom into a civil war, ages Lancelot prematurely, and ultimately leads to Camelot's ruin (Raabe, 1987). Though Lancelot claimed to have been loyal to both the king and the queen, this loyalty was ultimately in conflict, and he could not maintain it.

Here we have the acknowledgement of a potential counter-argument and the evidence as to why it isn't true.

The argument is that some people (or literary characters) have asserted that they give equal weight to their conflicting loyalties. The refutation is that, though some may claim to be able to maintain conflicting loyalties, they're either lying to others or deceiving themselves. The paragraph shows why this is true by providing an example of this in action.

Paragraph 5

Whether it be through literature or history, time and time again, people demonstrate the challenges of trying to manage conflicting loyalties and the inevitable consequences of doing so. Though belief systems are malleable and will often change over time, it is not possible to maintain two mutually exclusive loyalties or beliefs at once. In the end, people always make a choice, and loyalty for one party or one side of an issue will always trump loyalty to the other.

The concluding paragraph summarizes the essay, touches on the evidence presented, and re-states the thesis statement.

How to Write an Argumentative Essay: 8 Steps

Writing the best argumentative essay is all about the preparation, so let's talk steps:

#1: Preliminary Research

If you have the option to pick your own argumentative essay topic (which you most likely will), then choose one or two topics you find the most intriguing or that you have a vested interest in and do some preliminary research on both sides of the debate.

Do an open internet search just to see what the general chatter is on the topic and what the research trends are.

Did your preliminary reading influence you to pick a side or change your side? Without diving into all the scholarly articles at length, do you believe there's enough evidence to support your claim? Have there been scientific studies? Experiments? Does a noted scholar in the field agree with you? If not, you may need to pick another topic or side of the argument to support.

#2: Pick Your Side and Form Your Thesis

Now's the time to pick the side of the argument you feel you can support the best and summarize your main point into your thesis statement.

Your thesis will be the basis of your entire essay, so make sure you know which side you're on, that you've stated it clearly, and that you stick by your argument throughout the entire essay .

#3: Heavy-Duty Research Time

You've taken a gander at what the internet at large has to say on your argument, but now's the time to actually read those sources and take notes.

Check scholarly journals online at Google Scholar , the Directory of Open Access Journals , or JStor . You can also search individual university or school libraries and websites to see what kinds of academic articles you can access for free. Keep track of your important quotes and page numbers and put them somewhere that's easy to find later.

And don't forget to check your school or local libraries as well!

#4: Outline

Follow the five-paragraph outline structure from the previous section.

Fill in your topic, your reasons, and your supporting evidence into each of the categories.

Before you begin to flesh out the essay, take a look at what you've got. Is your thesis statement in the first paragraph? Is it clear? Is your argument logical? Does your supporting evidence support your reasoning?

By outlining your essay, you streamline your process and take care of any logic gaps before you dive headfirst into the writing. This will save you a lot of grief later on if you need to change your sources or your structure, so don't get too trigger-happy and skip this step.

Now that you've laid out exactly what you'll need for your essay and where, it's time to fill in all the gaps by writing it out.

Take it one step at a time and expand your ideas into complete sentences and substantiated claims. It may feel daunting to turn an outline into a complete draft, but just remember that you've already laid out all the groundwork; now you're just filling in the gaps.

If you have the time before deadline, give yourself a day or two (or even just an hour!) away from your essay . Looking it over with fresh eyes will allow you to see errors, both minor and major, that you likely would have missed had you tried to edit when it was still raw.

Take a first pass over the entire essay and try your best to ignore any minor spelling or grammar mistakes—you're just looking at the big picture right now. Does it make sense as a whole? Did the essay succeed in making an argument and backing that argument up logically? (Do you feel persuaded?)

If not, go back and make notes so that you can fix it for your final draft.

Once you've made your revisions to the overall structure, mark all your small errors and grammar problems so you can fix them in the next draft.

#7: Final Draft

Use the notes you made on the rough draft and go in and hack and smooth away until you're satisfied with the final result.

A checklist for your final draft:

Formatting is correct according to your teacher's standards
No errors in spelling, grammar, and punctuation
Essay is the right length and size for the assignment
The argument is present, consistent, and concise
Each reason is supported by relevant evidence
The essay makes sense overall

#8: Celebrate!

Once you've brought that final draft to a perfect polish and turned in your assignment, you're done! Go you!

Be prepared and ♪ you'll never go hungry again ♪, *cough*, or struggle with your argumentative essay-writing again. (Walt Disney Studios)

Good Examples of Argumentative Essays Online

Theory is all well and good, but examples are key. Just to get you started on what a fully-fleshed out argumentative essay looks like, let's see some examples in action.

Check out these two argumentative essay examples on the use of landmines and freons (and note the excellent use of concrete sources to back up their arguments!).

The Use of Landmines

A Shattered Sky

The Take-Aways: Keys to Writing an Argumentative Essay

At first, writing an argumentative essay may seem like a monstrous hurdle to overcome, but with the proper preparation and understanding, you'll be able to knock yours out of the park.

Remember the differences between a persuasive essay and an argumentative one, make sure your thesis is clear, and double-check that your supporting evidence is both relevant to your point and well-sourced . Pick your topic, do your research, make your outline, and fill in the gaps. Before you know it, you'll have yourself an A+ argumentative essay there, my friend.

What's Next?

Now you know the ins and outs of an argumentative essay, but how comfortable are you writing in other styles? Learn more about the four writing styles and when it makes sense to use each .

Understand how to make an argument, but still having trouble organizing your thoughts? Check out our guide to three popular essay formats and choose which one is right for you.

Ready to make your case, but not sure what to write about? We've created a list of 50 potential argumentative essay topics to spark your imagination.

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Writing Tips

How to Write an Argumentative Essay

4-minute read

30th April 2022

An argumentative essay is a structured, compelling piece of writing where an author clearly defines their stance on a specific topic. This is a very popular style of writing assigned to students at schools, colleges, and universities. Learn the steps to researching, structuring, and writing an effective argumentative essay below.

Requirements of an Argumentative Essay

To effectively achieve its purpose, an argumentative essay must contain:

● A concise thesis statement that introduces readers to the central argument of the essay

● A clear, logical, argument that engages readers

● Ample research and evidence that supports your argument

Approaches to Use in Your Argumentative Essay

1. classical.

● Clearly present the central argument.

● Outline your opinion.

● Provide enough evidence to support your theory.

2. Toulmin

● State your claim.

● Supply the evidence for your stance.

● Explain how these findings support the argument.

● Include and discuss any limitations of your belief.

3. Rogerian

● Explain the opposing stance of your argument.

● Discuss the problems with adopting this viewpoint.

● Offer your position on the matter.

● Provide reasons for why yours is the more beneficial stance.

● Include a potential compromise for the topic at hand.

Tips for Writing a Well-Written Argumentative Essay

● Introduce your topic in a bold, direct, and engaging manner to captivate your readers and encourage them to keep reading.

● Provide sufficient evidence to justify your argument and convince readers to adopt this point of view.

● Consider, include, and fairly present all sides of the topic.

● Structure your argument in a clear, logical manner that helps your readers to understand your thought process.

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● Discuss any counterarguments that might be posed.

● Use persuasive writing that’s appropriate for your target audience and motivates them to agree with you.

Steps to Write an Argumentative Essay

Follow these basic steps to write a powerful and meaningful argumentative essay :

Step 1: Choose a topic that you’re passionate about

If you’ve already been given a topic to write about, pick a stance that resonates deeply with you. This will shine through in your writing, make the research process easier, and positively influence the outcome of your argument.

Step 2: Conduct ample research to prove the validity of your argument

To write an emotive argumentative essay , finding enough research to support your theory is a must. You’ll need solid evidence to convince readers to agree with your take on the matter. You’ll also need to logically organize the research so that it naturally convinces readers of your viewpoint and leaves no room for questioning.

Step 3: Follow a simple, easy-to-follow structure and compile your essay

A good structure to ensure a well-written and effective argumentative essay includes:

Introduction

● Introduce your topic.

● Offer background information on the claim.

● Discuss the evidence you’ll present to support your argument.

● State your thesis statement, a one-to-two sentence summary of your claim.

● This is the section where you’ll develop and expand on your argument.

● It should be split into three or four coherent paragraphs, with each one presenting its own idea.

● Start each paragraph with a topic sentence that indicates why readers should adopt your belief or stance.

● Include your research, statistics, citations, and other supporting evidence.

● Discuss opposing viewpoints and why they’re invalid.

● This part typically consists of one paragraph.

● Summarize your research and the findings that were presented.

● Emphasize your initial thesis statement.

● Persuade readers to agree with your stance.

We certainly hope that you feel inspired to use these tips when writing your next argumentative essay . And, if you’re currently elbow-deep in writing one, consider submitting a free sample to us once it’s completed. Our expert team of editors can help ensure that it’s concise, error-free, and effective!

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5 Strategies for Conflict Resolution in the Workplace

Business leader resolving workplace conflict

07 Sep 2023

Any scenario in which you live, work, and collaborate with others is susceptible to conflict. Because workplaces are made up of employees with different backgrounds, personalities, opinions, and daily lives, discord is bound to occur. To navigate it, it’s crucial to understand why it arises and your options for resolving it.

Common reasons for workplace conflict include:

Misunderstandings or poor communication skills
Differing opinions, viewpoints, or personalities
Biases or stereotypes
Variations in learning or processing styles
Perceptions of unfairness

Although conflict is common, many don’t feel comfortable handling it—especially with colleagues. As a business leader, you’ll likely clash with other managers and need to help your team work through disputes.

Here’s why conflict resolution is important and five strategies for approaching it.

Access your free e-book today.

Why Is Addressing Workplace Conflict Important?

Pretending conflict doesn’t exist doesn’t make it go away. Ignoring issues can lead to missed deadlines, festering resentment, and unsuccessful initiatives.

Yet, according to coaching and training firm Bravely , 53 percent of employees handle “toxic” situations by avoiding them. Worse still, averting a difficult conversation can cost an organization $7,500 and more than seven workdays.

That adds up quickly: American businesses lose $359 billion yearly due to the impact of unresolved conflict.

As a leader, you have a responsibility to foster healthy conflict resolution and create a safe, productive work environment for employees.

“Some rights, such as the right to safe working conditions or the right against sexual harassment, are fundamental to the employment relationship,” says Harvard Business School Professor Nien-hê Hsieh in the course Leadership, Ethics, and Corporate Accountability . “These rights are things that employees should be entitled to no matter what. They’re often written into the law, but even when they aren’t, they’re central to the ethical treatment of others, which involves respecting the inherent dignity and intrinsic worth of each individual.”

Effectively resolving disputes as they arise benefits your employees’ well-being and your company’s financial health. The first step is learning about five conflict resolution strategies at your disposal.

Related: How to Navigate Difficult Conversations with Employees

While there are several approaches to conflict, some can be more effective than others. The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Model —developed by Dr. Kenneth W. Thomas and Dr. Ralph H. Kilmann—outlines five strategies for conflict resolution:

Accommodating
Compromising
Collaborating

These fall on a graph, with assertiveness on the y-axis and cooperativeness on the x-axis. In the Thomas-Kilmann model, “assertiveness” refers to the extent to which you try to reach your own goal, and “cooperativeness” is the extent to which you try to satisfy the other party’s goal.

Alternatively, you can think of these axis labels as the “importance of my goal” and the “importance of this relationship.” If your assertiveness is high, you aim to achieve your own goal. If your cooperativeness is high, you strive to help the other person reach theirs to maintain the relationship.

Here’s a breakdown of the five strategies and when to use each.

1. Avoiding

Avoiding is a strategy best suited for situations in which the relationship’s importance and goal are both low.

While you’re unlikely to encounter these scenarios at work, they may occur in daily life. For instance, imagine you’re on a public bus and the passenger next to you is loudly playing music. You’ll likely never bump into that person again, and your goal of a pleasant bus ride isn’t extremely pressing. Avoiding conflict by ignoring the music is a valid option.

In workplace conflicts—where your goals are typically important and you care about maintaining a lasting relationship with colleagues—avoidance can be detrimental.

Remember: Some situations require avoiding conflict, but you’re unlikely to encounter them in the workplace.

2. Competing

Competing is another strategy that, while not often suited for workplace conflict, can be useful in some situations.

This conflict style is for scenarios in which you place high importance on your goal and low importance on your relationships with others. It’s high in assertiveness and low in cooperation.

You may choose a competing style in a crisis. For instance, if someone is unconscious and people are arguing about what to do, asserting yourself and taking charge can help the person get medical attention quicker.

You can also use it when standing up for yourself and in instances where you feel unsafe. In those cases, asserting yourself and reaching safety is more critical than your relationships with others.

When using a competing style in situations where your relationships do matter (for instance, with a colleague), you risk impeding trust—along with collaboration, creativity, and productivity.

3. Accommodating

The third conflict resolution strategy is accommodation, in which you acquiesce to the other party’s needs. Use accommodating in instances where the relationship matters more than your goal.

For example, if you pitch an idea for a future project in a meeting, and one of your colleagues says they believe it will have a negative impact, you could resolve the conflict by rescinding your original thought.

This is useful if the other person is angry or hostile or you don’t have a strong opinion on the matter. It immediately deescalates conflict by removing your goal from the equation.

While accommodation has its place within organizational settings, question whether you use it to avoid conflict. If someone disagrees with you, simply acquiescing can snuff out opportunities for innovation and creative problem-solving .

As a leader, notice whether your employees frequently fall back on accommodation. If the setting is safe, encouraging healthy debate can lead to greater collaboration.

Related: How to Create a Culture of Ethics and Accountability in the Workplace

4. Compromising

Compromising is a conflict resolution strategy in which you and the other party willingly forfeit some of your needs to reach an agreement. It’s known as a “lose-lose” strategy, since neither of you achieve your full goal.

This strategy works well when your care for your goal and the relationship are both moderate. You value the relationship, but not so much that you abandon your goal, like in accommodation.

For example, maybe you and a peer express interest in leading an upcoming project. You could compromise by co-leading it or deciding one of you leads this one and the other the next one.

Compromising requires big-picture thinking and swallowing your pride, knowing you won’t get all your needs fulfilled. The benefits are that you and the other party value your relationship and make sacrifices to reach a mutually beneficial resolution.

5. Collaborating

Where compromise is a lose-lose strategy, collaboration is a win-win. In instances of collaboration, your goal and the relationship are equally important, motivating both you and the other party to work together to find an outcome that meets all needs.

An example of a situation where collaboration is necessary is if one of your employees isn’t performing well in their role—to the point that they’re negatively impacting the business. While maintaining a strong, positive relationship is important, so is finding a solution to their poor performance. Framing the conflict as a collaboration can open doors to help each other discover its cause and what you can do to improve performance and the business’s health.

Collaboration is ideal for most workplace conflicts. Goals are important, but so is maintaining positive relationships with co-workers. Promote collaboration whenever possible to find creative solutions to problems . If you can’t generate a win-win idea, you can always fall back on compromise.

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Considering Your Responsibilities as a Leader

As a leader, not only must you address your own conflicts but help your employees work through theirs. When doing so, remember your responsibilities to your employees—whether ethical, legal, or economic.

Leadership, Ethics, and Corporate Accountability groups your ethical responsibilities to employees into five categories:

Well-being: What’s ultimately good for the person
Rights: Entitlement to receive certain treatment
Duties: A moral obligation to behave in a specific way
Best practices: Aspirational standards not required by law or cultural norms
Fairness: Impartial and just treatment

In the course, Hsieh outlines three types of fairness you can use when helping employees solve conflicts:

Legitimate expectations: Employees reasonably expect certain practices or behaviors to continue based on experiences with the organization and explicit promises.
Procedural fairness: Managers must resolve issues impartially and consistently.
Distributive fairness: Your company equitably allocates opportunities, benefits, and burdens.

Particularly with procedural fairness, ensure you don’t take sides when mediating conflict. Treat both parties equally, allowing them time to speak and share their perspectives. Guide your team toward collaboration or compromise, and work toward a solution that achieves the goal while maintaining—and even strengthening—relationships.

Are you interested in learning how to navigate difficult decisions as a leader? Explore Leadership, Ethics, and Corporate Accountability —one of our online leadership and management courses —and download our free guide to becoming a more effective leader.

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12 Essential Steps for Writing an Argumentative Essay (with 10 example essays)

Bonus Material: 10 complete example essays

Writing an essay can often feel like a Herculean task. How do you go from a prompt… to pages of beautifully-written and clearly-supported writing?

This 12-step method is for students who want to write a great essay that makes a clear argument.

In fact, using the strategies from this post, in just 88 minutes, one of our students revised her C+ draft to an A.

If you’re interested in learning how to write awesome argumentative essays and improve your writing grades, this post will teach you exactly how to do it.

First, grab our download so you can follow along with the complete examples.

Then keep reading to see all 12 essential steps to writing a great essay.

Download 10 example essays

Why you need to have a plan

One of the most common mistakes that students make when writing is to just dive in haphazardly without a plan.

Writing is a bit like cooking. If you’re making a meal, would you start throwing ingredients at random into a pot? Probably not!

Instead, you’d probably start by thinking about what you want to cook. Then you’d gather the ingredients, and go to the store if you don’t already have them in your kitchen. Then you’d follow a recipe, step by step, to make your meal.

Preparing to cook a dish in an organized way, just like we prepare to write an essay

Here’s our 12-step recipe for writing a great argumentative essay:

Pick a topic
Choose your research sources
Read your sources and take notes
Create a thesis statement
Choose three main arguments to support your thesis statement —now you have a skeleton outline
Populate your outline with the research that supports each argument
Do more research if necessary
Add your own analysis
Add transitions and concluding sentences to each paragraph
Write an introduction and conclusion for your essay
Add citations and bibliography

Grab our download to see the complete example at every stage, along with 9 great student essays. Then let’s go through the steps together and write an A+ essay!

1. Pick a topic

Sometimes you might be assigned a topic by your instructor, but often you’ll have to come up with your own idea!

If you don’t pick the right topic, you can be setting yourself up for failure.

Be careful that your topic is something that’s actually arguable —it has more than one side. Check out our carefully-vetted list of 99 topic ideas .

Let’s pick the topic of laboratory animals . Our question is should animals be used for testing and research ?

Hamster, which could potentially be used for animal research

Download our set of 10 great example essays to jump to the finished version of this essay.

2. Choose your research sources

One of the big differences between the way an academic argumentative essay and the version of the assignment that you may have done in elementary school is that for an academic argumentative essay, we need to support our arguments with evidence .

Where do we get that evidence?

Let’s be honest, we all are likely to start with Google and Wikipedia.

Now, Wikipedia can be a useful starting place if you don’t know very much about a topic, but don’t use Wikipedia as your main source of evidence for your essay.

Instead, look for reputable sources that you can show to your readers as proof of your arguments. It can be helpful to read some sources from either side of your issue.

Look for recently-published sources (within the last 20 years), unless there’s a specific reason to do otherwise.

Good places to look for sources are:

Books published by academic presses
Academic journals
Academic databases like JSTOR and EBSCO
Nationally-published newspapers and magazines like The New York Times or The Atlantic
Websites and publications of national institutions like the NIH
Websites and publications of universities

Some of these sources are typically behind a paywall. This can be frustrating when you’re a middle-school or high-school student.

However, there are often ways to get access to these sources. Librarians (at your school library or local public library) can be fantastic resources, and they can often help you find a copy of the article or book you want to read. In particular, librarians can help you use Interlibrary Loan to order books or journals to your local library!

More and more scientists and other researchers are trying to publish their articles for free online, in order to encourage the free exchange of knowledge. Check out respected open-access platforms like arxiv.org and PLOS ONE .

How do you find these sources?

If you have access to an academic database like JSTOR or EBSCO , that’s a great place to start.

Everyone can use Google Scholar to search for articles. This is a powerful tool and highly recommended!

Of course, if there’s a term you come across that you don’t recognize, you can always just Google it!

How many sources do you need? That depends on the length of your essay and on the assignment. If your instructor doesn’t give you any other guidance, assume that you should have at least three good sources.

For our topic of animal research, here’s a few sources that we could assemble:

Geoff Watts. “Animal Testing: Is It Worth It?” BMJ: British Medical Journal , Jan. 27, 2007, Vol. 334, No. 7586 (Jan. 27, 2007), pp. 182-184.

Kim Bartel Sheehan and Joonghwa Lee. “What’s Cruel About Cruelty Free: An Exploration of Consumers, Moral Heuristics, and Public Policy.” Journal of Animal Ethics , Vol. 4, No. 2 (Fall 2014), pp. 1-15.

Justin Goodman, Alka Chandna and Katherine Roe. “Trends in animal use at US research facilities.” Journal of Medical Ethics , July 2015, Vol. 41, No. 7 (July 2015), pp. 567-569.

Katy Taylor. “Recent Developments in Alternatives to Animal Testing.” In Animal Experimentation: Working Towards a Paradigm Change . Brill 2019.

Thomas Hartung. “Research and Testing Without Animals: Where Are We Now and Where Are We Heading?” In Animal Experimentation: Working Towards a Paradigm Change . Brill 2019.

Bonus: download 10 example essays now .

3. Read your sources and take notes

Once you have a nice pile of sources, it’s time to read them!

As we read, we want to take notes that will be useful to us later as we write our essay.

We want to be careful to keep the source’s ideas separate from our own ideas . Come up with a system to clearly mark the difference as you’re taking notes: use different colors, or use little arrows to represent the ideas that are yours and not the source’s ideas.

We can use this structure to keep notes in an organized way:


Bibliographic details	– Specific evidence that the source uses – Ideas and themes in the source that seem useful	Figure out the main arguments in the source – Figure out the supporting arguments in the source – How does this source relate to the other sources that you’re using? Does it agree/disagree? Does it use the same or different evidence and reasoning? – What kind of bias does the author have? – Any other thoughts or observations

Download a template for these research notes here .

For our topic of animal research, our notes might look something like this:


Kim Bartel Sheehan and Joonghwa Lee. “What’s Cruel About Cruelty Free: An Exploration of Consumers, Moral Heuristics, and Public Policy.” Journal of Animal Ethics , Vol. 4, No. 2 (Fall 2014), pp. 1-15.	Because there are many definitions of the phrase “cruelty-free,” many companies “can (and do) use the term when the product or its ingredients were indeed tested on animals” (1). The authors compare “cruelty-free” to the term “fair trade.” There is an independent inspection and certification group (Flo-Cert) that reviews products labeled as “fair trade,” but there’s no analogous process for “cruelty-free” (2). Companies can also hire outside firms to test products and ingredients on animals (3).	→ So anyone can just put that label on a product? Apparently, apart from in the European Union. That seems really easy to abuse for marketing purposes.
Andrew Knight. “Critically Evaluating Animal Research.” In . Brill 2019.	Knight cites “significant methodological flaws” in “most published animal experiments” (326). For example, “randomized allocation of animals to test groups was reported in only 12%” of a set of 271 studies—in the rest of the studies, researchers could select (whether consciously or not) weaker animals to serve as the control group, for example (326). Similarly, only 14% of papers in a different survey reported the use of blinding in making qualitative assessments of outcomes (327). The ARRIVE guidelines have been widely endorsed by leading research journals (including Nature, PLoS, and BioMed Central) and major UK funding agencies, and they’re part of the US National Research Council Institute for Laboratory Animal Research guidelines (330). But…compliance with the guidelines “remains poor” (330).	→ Many people championing or opposing animal testing have their careers at stake. They’re either researchers who use animals as a fundamental part of their research, or they are working on alternatives to animal testing (like Harding). This seems like a potential problem with the debate. → So one way to improve the methodological quality of studies would be to encourage (or regulate) randomization and blinded assessment of outcomes.
(continued) Andrew Knight. “Critically Evaluating Animal Research.” In . Brill 2019.	Knight advocates that compliance with the ARRIVE guidelines and other standards “must become mandatory,” and that “compliance with such standards should be a necessary condition for security research funding and ethical approval; licensing of researchers, facilities, and experimental protocols; and publication of subsequent results” (331). Knight also argues that “prior to designing any new animal study, researchers should conduct a systematic review to collate, appraise, and synthesize all existing, good-quality evidence relating to their research questions,” and that this step should also be required by grant agencies, licensing bodies, and journals (332). He notes that systematic reviews are really helpful and should be funded more frequently (332). The article then covers impacts on laboratory animals—invasive procedures, stress, pain, and death (333). These aren’t very widely or clearly reported (333).	→ This seems like a reasonable position. What would there be to lose from requiring compliance with these guidelines? I suppose it could make research more difficult or expensive to conduct—but probably it would weed out some bad research. → Good to remember that research requires money and is shaped by market forces—it’s not some neutral thing happening in an ivory tower.

Grab our download to read the rest of the notes and see more examples of how to do thoughtful research!

Student taking notes on research project

4. Create a thesis

What major themes did you find in your reading? What did you find most interesting or convincing?

Now is the point when you need to pick a side on your topic, if you haven’t already done so. Now that you’ve read more about the issue, what do you think? Write down your position on the issue:

Animal testing is necessary but should be reduced.

Next, it’s time to add more detail to your thesis. What reasons do you have to support that position? Add those to your sentence.

Animal testing is necessary but should be reduced by eliminating testing for cosmetics, ensuring that any testing is scientifically sound, and replacing animal models with other methods as much as possible.

Add qualifiers to refine your position. Are there situations in which your position would not apply? Or are there other conditions that need to be met?

For our topic of animal research, our final thesis statement (with lead-in) might look something like this:

The argument: Animal testing and research should not be abolished, as doing so would upend important medical research and substance testing. However, scientific advances mean that in many situations animal testing can be replaced by other methods that not only avoid the ethical problems of animal testing, but also are less costly and more accurate. Governments and other regulatory bodies should further regulate animal testing to outlaw testing for cosmetics and other recreational products, ensure that the tests conducted are both necessary and scientifically rigorous, and encourage the replacement of animal use with other methods whenever possible.

The highlighted bit at the end is the thesis statement, but the lead-in is useful to help us set up the argument—and having it there already will make writing our introduction easier!

The thesis statement is the single most important sentence of your essay. Without a strong thesis, there’s no chance of writing a great essay. Read more about it here .

See how nine real students wrote great thesis statements in 9 example essays now.

5. Create three supporting arguments

Think of three good arguments why your position is true. We’re going to make each one into a body paragraph of your essay.

For now, write them out as 1–2 sentences. These will be topic sentences for each body paragraph.

For our essay about animal testing, it might look like this:

Supporting argument #1: For ethical reasons, animal testing should not be allowed for cosmetics and recreational products.

Supporting argument #2: The tests that are conducted with animals should be both necessary (for the greater good) and scientifically rigorous—which isn’t always the case currently. This should be regulated by governments and institutions.

Supporting argument #3: Governments and institutions should do more to encourage the replacement of animal testing with other methods.

Optional: Find a counterargument and respond to it

Think of a potential counterargument to your position. Consider writing a fourth paragraph anticipating this counterargument, or find a way to include it in your other body paragraphs.

For our essay, that might be:

Possible counterargument: Animal testing is unethical and should not be used in any circumstances.

Response to the counterargument: Animal testing is deeply entrenched in many research projects and medical procedures. Abruptly ceasing animal testing would upend the scientific and medical communities. But there are many ways that animal testing could be reduced.

With these three arguments, a counterargument, and a thesis, we now have a skeleton outline! See each step of this essay in full in our handy download .

6. Start populating your outline with the evidence you found in your research

Look through your research. What did you find that would support each of your three arguments?

Copy and paste those quotes or paraphrases into the outline. Make sure that each one is annotated so that you know which source it came from!

Ideally you already started thinking about these sources when you were doing your research—that’s the ideas in the rightmost column of our research template. Use this stuff too!

A good rule of thumb would be to use at least three pieces of evidence per body paragraph.

Think about in what order it would make most sense to present your points. Rearrange your quotes accordingly! As you reorder them, feel free to start adding short sentences indicating the flow of ideas .

Research at the National Cancer Institute

For our essay about animal testing, part of our populated outline might look something like:

Argument #1: For ethical reasons, animal testing should not be allowed for cosmetics and recreational products.

Lots of animals are used for testing and research.

In the US, about 22 million animals were used annually in the early 1990s, mostly rodents (BMJ 1993, 1020).

But there are ethical problems with using animals in laboratory settings. Opinions about the divide between humans and animals might be shifting.

McIsaac refers to “the essential moral dilemma: how to balance the welfare of humans with the welfare of other species” (Hubel, McIsaac 29).

The fundamental legal texts used to justify animal use in biomedical research were created after WWII, and drew a clear line between experiments on animals and on humans. The Nuremburg Code states that “the experiment should be so designed and based on the results of animal experimentation and a knowledge of the natural history of the disease or other problem under study that the anticipated results will justify the performance of the experiment” (Ferrari, 197). The 1964 Declaration of the World Medical Association on the Ethical Principles for Medical Research Involving Human Subjects (known as the Helsinki Declaration) states that “Medical research involving human subjects must conform to generally accepted scientific principles, be based on a thorough knowledge of the scientific literature, other relevant sources of information, and adequate laboratory and, as appropriate, animal experimentation. The welfare of animals used for research must be respected” (Ferrari, 197).

→ Context? The Nuremberg Code is a set of ethical research principles, developed in 1947 in the wake of Nazi atrocities during WWII, specifically the inhumane and often fatal experimentation on human subjects without consent.

“Since the 1970s, the animal-rights movement has challenged the use of animals in modern Western society by rejecting the idea of dominion of human beings over nature and animals and stressing the intrinsic value and rights of individual animals” (van Roten, 539, referencing works by Singer, Clark, Regan, and Jasper and Nelkin).

“The old (animal) model simply does not fully meet the needs of scientific and economic progress; it fails in cost, speed, level of detail of understanding, and human relevance. On top of this, animal experimentation lacks acceptance by an ethically evolving society” (Hartung, 682).

Knight’s article summarizes negative impacts on laboratory animals—invasive procedures, stress, pain, and death (Knight, 333). These aren’t very widely or clearly reported (Knight, 333). → Reading about these definitely produces an emotional reaction—they sound bad.

Given this context, it makes sense to ban animal testing in situations where it’s just for recreational products like cosmetics.

Fortunately, animal testing for cosmetics is less common than we might think.

A Gallup poll published in 1990 found that 14% of people thought that the most frequent reason for using animals to test cosmetics for safety—but figures from the UK Home Office in 1991 found that less than 1% of animals were used for tests for cosmetics and toiletries (BMJ 1993, 1019). → So in the early 1990s there was a big difference between what people thought was happening and what actually was happening!

But it still happens, and there are very few regulations of it (apart from in the EU).

Because there are many definitions of the phrase “cruelty-free,” many companies “can (and do) use the term when the product or its ingredients were indeed tested on animals” (Sheehan and Lee, 1).

The authors compare “cruelty-free” to the term “fair trade.” There is an independent inspection and certification group (Flo-Cert) that reviews products labeled as “fair trade,” but there’s no analogous process for “cruelty-free” (Sheehan and Lee, 2). → So anyone can just put that label on a product? Apparently, apart from in the European Union. That seems really easy to abuse for marketing purposes.

Companies can also hire outside firms to test products and ingredients on animals (Sheehan and Lee, 3).

Animal testing for recreational, non-medical purposes should be banned, like it is in the EU.

Download the full example outline here .

7. Do more research if necessary

Occasionally you might realize that there’s a hole in your research, and you don’t have enough evidence to support one of your points.

In this situation, either change your argument to fit the evidence that you do have, or do a bit more research to fill the hole!

For example, looking at our outline for argument #1 for our essay on animal testing, it’s clear that this paragraph is missing a small but crucial bit of evidence—a reference to this specific ban on animal testing for cosmetics in Europe. Time for a bit more research!

A visit to the official website of the European Commission yields a copy of the law, which we can add to our populated outline:

“The cosmetics directive provides the regulatory framework for the phasing out of animal testing for cosmetics purposes. Specifically, it establishes (1) a testing ban – prohibition to test finished cosmetic products and cosmetic ingredients on animals, and (2) a marketing ban – prohibition to market finished cosmetic products and ingredients in the EU which were tested on animals. The same provisions are contained in the cosmetics regulation , which replaced the cosmetics directive as of 11 July 2013. The testing ban on finished cosmetic products applies since 11 September 2004. The testing ban on ingredients or combination of ingredients applies since 11 March 2009. The marketing ban applies since 11 March 2009 for all human health effects with the exception of repeated-dose toxicity, reproductive toxicity, and toxicokinetics. For these specific health effects, the marketing ban applies since 11 March 2013, irrespective of the availability of alternative non-animal tests.” (website of the European Commission, “Ban on animal testing”)

Alright, now this supporting argument has the necessary ingredients!

You don’t need to use all of the evidence that you found in your research. In fact, you probably won’t use all of it!

This part of the writing process requires you to think critically about your arguments and what evidence is relevant to your points .

8. Add your own analysis and synthesis of these points

Once you’ve organized your evidence and decided what you want to use for your essay, now you get to start adding your own analysis!

You may have already started synthesizing and evaluating your sources when you were doing your research (the stuff on the right-hand side of our template). This gives you a great starting place!

For each piece of evidence, follow this formula:

Context and transitions: introduce your piece of evidence and any relevant background info and signal the logical flow of ideas
Reproduce the paraphrase or direct quote (with citation )
Explanation : explain what the quote/paraphrase means in your own words
Analysis : analyze how this piece of evidence proves your thesis
Relate it back to the thesis: don’t forget to relate this point back to your overarching thesis!

If you follow this fool-proof formula as you write, you will create clear, well-evidenced arguments.

As you get more experienced, you might stray a bit from the formula—but a good essay will always intermix evidence with explanation and analysis, and will always contain signposts back to the thesis throughout.

For our essay about animal testing, our first body paragraph might look like:

Every year, millions of animals—mostly rodents—are used for testing and research (BMJ 1993, 1020) . This testing poses an ethical dilemma: “how to balance the welfare of humans with the welfare of other species” (Hubel, McIsaac 29) . Many of the fundamental legal tests that are used to justify animal use in biomedical research were created in wake of the horrors of World War II, when the Nazi regime engaged in terrible experimentation on their human prisoners. In response to these atrocities, philosophers and lawmakers drew a clear line between experimenting on humans without consent and experimenting on (non-human) animals. For example, the 1947 Nuremberg Code stated that “the experiment should be so designed and based on the results of animal experimentation and a knowledge of the natural history of the disease or other problem under study that the anticipated results will justify the performance of the experiment” (Ferrari, 197) . Created two years after the war, the code established a set of ethical research principles to demarcate ethical differences between animals and humans, clarifying differences between Nazi atrocities and more everyday research practices. However, in the following decades, the animal-rights movement has challenged the philosophical boundaries between humans and animals and questioned humanity’s right to exert dominion over animals (van Roten, 539, referencing works by Singer, Clark, Regan, and Jasper and Nelkin) . These concerns are not without justification, as animals used in laboratories are subject to invasive procedures, stress, pain, and death (Knight, 333) . Indeed, reading detailed descriptions of this research can be difficult to stomach . In light of this, while some animal testing that contributes to vital medical research and ultimately saves millions of lives may be ethically justified, animal testing that is purely for recreational purposes like cosmetics cannot be ethically justified . Fortunately, animal testing for cosmetics is less common than we might think . In 1990, a poll found that 14% of people in the UK thought that the most frequent reason for using animals to test cosmetics for safety—but actual figures were less than 1% (BMJ 1993, 1019) . Unfortunately, animal testing for cosmetics is not subject to very much regulation . In particular, companies can use the phrase “cruelty-free” to mean just about anything, and many companies “can (and do) use the term when the product or its ingredients were indeed tested on animals” (Sheehan and Lee, 1) . Unlike the term “fair trade,” which has an independent inspection and certification group (Flo-Cert) that reviews products using the label, there’s no analogous process for “cruelty-free” (Sheehan and Lee, 2) . Without regulation, the term is regularly abused by marketers . Companies can also hire outside firms to test products and ingredients on animals and thereby pass the blame (Sheehan and Lee, 3) . Consumers trying to avoid products tested on animals are frequently tricked . Greater regulation of terms would help, but the only way to end this kind of deceit will be to ban animal testing for recreational, non-medical purposes . The European Union is the only governmental body yet to accomplish this . In a series of regulations, the EU first banned testing finished cosmetic products (2004), then testing ingredients or marketing products which were tested on animals (2009); exceptions for specific health effects ended in 2013 (website of the European Commission, “Ban on animal testing”) . The result is that the EU bans testing cosmetic ingredients or finished cosmetic products on animals, as well as marketing any cosmetic ingredients and products which were tested on animals elsewhere (Regulation 1223/2009/EU, known as the “Cosmetics Regulation”) . The rest of the world should follow this example and ban animal testing on cosmetic ingredients and products, which do not contribute significantly to the greater good and therefore cannot outweigh the cost to animal lives .

Edit down the quotes/paraphrases as you go. In many cases, you might copy out a great long quote from a source…but only end up using a few words of it as a direct quote, or you might only paraphrase it!

There were several good quotes in our previous step that just didn’t end up fitting here. That’s fine!

Take a look at the words and phrases highlighted in red. Notice how sometimes a single word can help to provide necessary context and create a logical transition for a new idea. Don’t forget the transitions! These words and phrases are essential to good writing.

The end of the paragraph should very clearly tie back to the thesis statement.

As you write, consider your audience

If it’s not specified in your assignment prompt, it’s always appropriate to ask your instructor who the intended audience of your essay or paper might be. (Your instructor will usually be impressed by this question!)

If you don’t get any specific guidance, imagine that your audience is the typical readership of a newspaper like the New York Times —people who are generally educated, but who don’t have any specialized knowledge of the specific subject, especially if it’s more technical.

That means that you should explain any words or phrases that aren’t everyday terminology!

Equally important, you don’t want to leave logical leaps for your readers to make. Connect all of the dots for them!

See the other body paragraphs of this essay, along with 9 student essays, here .

9. Add paragraph transitions and concluding sentences to each body paragraph

By now you should have at least three strong body paragraphs, each one with 3–5 pieces of evidence plus your own analysis and synthesis of the evidence.

Each paragraph has a main topic sentence, which we wrote back when we made the outline. This is a good time to check that the topic sentences still match what the rest of the paragraph says!

Think about how these arguments relate to each other. What is the most logical order for them? Re-order your paragraphs if necessary.

Then add a few sentences at the end of each paragraph and/or the beginning of the next paragraph to connect these ideas. This step is often the difference between an okay essay and a really great one!

You want your essay to have a great flow. We didn’t worry about this at the beginning of our writing, but now is the time to start improving the flow of ideas!

10. The final additions: write an introduction and a conclusion

Follow this formula to write a great introduction:

It begins with some kind of “hook”: this can be an anecdote, quote, statistic, provocative statement, question, etc.

(Pro tip: don’t use phrases like “throughout history,” “since the dawn of humankind,” etc. It’s good to think broadly, but you don’t have to make generalizations for all of history.)

It gives some background information that is relevant to understand the ethical dilemma or debate
It has a lead-up to the thesis
At the end of the introduction, the thesis is clearly stated

This makes a smooth funnel that starts more broadly and smoothly zeroes in on the specific argument.

Your conclusion is kind of like your introduction, but in reverse. It starts with your thesis and ends a little more broadly.

For the conclusion, try and summarize your entire argument without being redundant. Start by restating your thesis but with slightly different wording . Then summarize each of your main points.

If you can, it’s nice to point to the larger significance of the issue. What are the potential consequences of this issue? What are some future directions for it to go in? What remains to be explored?

See how nine students wrote introductions in different styles here .

11. Add citations and bibliography

Check what bibliographic style your instructor wants you to use. If this isn’t clearly stated, it’s a good question to ask them!

Typically the instructions will say something like “Chicago style,” “APA,” etc., or they’ll give you their own rules.

These rules will dictate how exactly you’ll write your citations in the body of your essay (either in parentheses after the quote/paraphrase or else with a footnote or endnote) and how you’ll write your “works cited” with the full bibliographic information at the end.

Follow these rules! The most important thing is to be consistent and clear.

Pro tip: if you’re struggling with this step, your librarians can often help! They’re literally pros at this. 🙂

Now you have a complete draft!

Read it from beginning to end. Does it make sense? Are there any orphan quotes or paraphrases that aren’t clearly explained? Are there any abrupt changes of topic? Fix it!

Are there any problems with grammar or spelling ? Fix them!

Edit for clarity.

Sharpening a pencil, just like you should sharpen your argument.

Ideally, you’ll finish your draft at least a few days before it’s due to be submitted. Give it a break for a day or two, and then come back to it. Things to be revised are more likely to jump out after a little break!

Try reading your essay out loud. Are there any sentences that don’t sound quite right? Rewrite them!

Double-check your thesis statement. This is the make-or-break moment of your essay, and without a clear thesis it’s pretty impossible for an essay to be a great one. Is it:

Arguable: it’s not just the facts—someone could disagree with this position
Narrow & specific: don’t pick a position that’s so broad you could never back it up
Complex: show that you are thinking deeply—one way to do this is to consider objections/qualifiers in your thesis

Try giving your essay to a friend or family member to read. Sometimes (if you’re lucky) your instructors will offer to read a draft if you turn it in early. What feedback do they have? Edit accordingly!

See the result of this process with 10 example essays now .

You’re done!

You did it! Feel proud of yourself 🙂

We regularly help students work through all of these steps to write great academic essays in our Academic Writing Workshop or our one-on-one writing tutoring . We’re happy to chat more about what’s challenging for you and provide you customized guidance to help you write better papers and improve your grades on writing assignments!

Want to see what this looks like when it’s all pulled together? We compiled nine examples of great student essays, plus all of the steps used to create this model essay, in this handy resource. Download it here !

Emily graduated summa cum laude from Princeton University and holds an MA from the University of Notre Dame. She was a National Merit Scholar and has won numerous academic prizes and fellowships. A veteran of the publishing industry, she has helped professors at Harvard, Yale, and Princeton revise their books and articles. Over the last decade, Emily has successfully mentored hundreds of students in all aspects of the college admissions process, including the SAT, ACT, and college application essay.

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Communicating Through Conflict: How to Get Along with Anyone

In this episode, Amy Gallo shares how disagreements, if reframed, can lead to more productive outcomes.

May 29, 2024

Many of us would rank getting along with colleagues as an important aspect of work, but, as Amy Gallo explains, relationships devoid of disagreement can actually be less productive.

“While our natural human instinct is to avoid conflict, I believe that conflicts are not only an inevitable part of interacting with other humans, but they’re a necessary part.”

Gallo is a workplace expert, host of HBR’s Women at Work podcast, and the author of Getting Along: How to Work With Anyone . Across her work, Gallo demonstrates that the key to transforming conflicts into something productive is to understand their root causes and learn how to reframe them.

“Even at the base of those unhealthy conflicts or those unproductive conflicts is something that needs to be resolved,” she says.

In her conversation with host and strategic communications lecturer Matt Abrahams, Gallo provides useful frameworks and new concepts on how we can approach conflicts at work.

Listen & Subscribe

Think Fast, Talk Smart is a podcast produced by Stanford Graduate School of Business. Each episode provides concrete, easy-to-implement tools and techniques to help you hone and enhance your communication skills.

Full Transcript

Note: Transcripts are generated by machine and lightly edited by humans. They may contain errors.

Matt Abrahams: Many of us seek to keep conflict out of our work, but counterintuitively conflict can actually help us be better at work. My name is Matt Abrahams and I teach Strategic Communication at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Welcome to Think Fast Talk Smart, the podcast . Today I look forward to speaking with Amy Gallo. Amy is a workplace expert who writes and speaks about gender, interpersonal dynamics, difficult conversations, feedback, and effective communication. She’s the author of Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone, even Difficult People , and the HBR Guide to Dealing With Conflict , and she co-hosts HBR’s popular Women at Work podcast. Amy, thanks for being here.

Amy Gallo: Thanks for having me. I feel like we’re going to have a lot to talk about.

Matt Abrahams: Oh, I agree, and I’m so excited to get started. Are you ready?

Amy Gallo: I’m Ready.

[01:00] Matt Abrahams: Many of us see conflict as bad as something that we should avoid. Can you give us your thoughts on conflict and its importance in relationships, teams and organizations?

Amy Gallo: Yeah, it’s funny you’d think that I would be brought in to situations, organizations, teams where people are having too much conflict, but it’s actually quite the reverse. I’m often brought in because there’s not enough disagreement happening, there’s not enough feedback, not enough tension or friction, and I am a big believer that while our natural human instinct is to avoid conflict, because of course we are hardwired for likability and we see conflict as a potential rupture in our relationship or possibly damaging to our reputation, I actually believe that conflicts are not only inevitable part of interacting with other humans, but they’re a necessary part. There’s lots of research that shows that conflict leads to better work outcomes, stronger relationships, and of course that depends on navigating the conflict in a professional, productive, relational way with compassion and caring. But when done well, conflict has a whole host of good outcomes, both for our relationships, most certainly for teams, and as well for organizations. And I think we actually should be spending more time not trying to eliminate conflict, but trying to create the right kinds of conflict.

Matt Abrahams: Wow, I love that you’re brought in to talk about how to actually facilitate effective conflict. What are some of the things we can do to bring around what you call the right type of conflict? How do we do that?

[02:39] Amy Gallo: Well, one, I think we have to normalize conflict, right? So I’m sure you’ve been in this situation where you’re in a team meeting and someone disagrees with someone, someone says, or maybe is a slightly dismissive or just something starts to happen and the whole room just gets tense, right? And everyone feels like, oh gosh, well, how are we going to deal with this? And some people may immediately try to smooth it over. It might devolve quickly. The reality is we don’t make conflict normal. We don’t say we’re going to disagree. We’re not going to see eye to eye all the time. We should be debating ideas. And that’s the first step I think for teams and organizations. We want leaders who say, conflict’s going to happen. That’s good. We want the tensions. We want people to disagree about the best way to roll out this project or the right way to design a feature for our customers.

We want that disagreement and we want it to be about the ideas, not about the people. And I think that’s the key part is that when conflicts happen, we immediately think, oh, Matt and Amy aren’t getting along. Oh, there’s going to be a fight. What’s going to happen here? And we immediately think it’s you versus me as opposed to, oh wow, Matt really cares about speed. Matt is always the one who really puts the pedal to the metal, wants us to get there fast, whereas Amy is pressing on the brakes saying No highest quality product possible. Those are good tensions to have. We’re glad Matt and Amy are debating this because we’ll figure out the right way to proceed if we keep it on that level of ideas. The other thing I think is really key is I go back always to Amy Edmondson or at Harvard Business Schools work around psychological safety. You really need to have psychological safety on your team in order to have these disagreements, right? We talk about admitting mistakes, speaking up without fear of retribution or fear of negative consequences. If people are going to feel comfortable enough to say, you know what, Matt, I’m not sure I see that the same way. Let’s talk it through. That is a potential risk to our relationship, so it’s going to cause a disruption, but we have to normalize those disruptions and give people permission to raise them.

[04:45] Matt Abrahams: So there’s a lot that we can do to set up in our relationships, be they in our personal life or in our work life, to actually facilitate conflict that is actually productive. So establishing psychological safety makes a lot of sense. Amy was a guest on the podcast, and I encourage everybody to listen in to the specifics of how we can do that. We have to feel comfortable disagreeing, and then it sounds like those in power, the leaders of a group can acknowledge that conflict is good and recognize it when it’s happening. I like that example you gave where you say, Hey, these two people are in conflict and we need that conflict to help us stay of the course. And then clearly it’s really important that we focus on the problem or the issue and not the people, because once it becomes personal, the emotions can certainly change. So I really appreciate you helping us understand how we can set up an environment for positive conflict. Now, I’d like to have you help us when that conflict we’re having is not so positive. Can you share a framework or two for helping us navigate conflict that might not be the kind of conflict we really want to have?

Amy Gallo: Yeah, and the idea is not to eliminate conflict even if we feel like it’s unhealthy, but it’s to try to transform it into something more productive. Because usually even at the base of those unhealthy conflicts or those unproductive conflicts is something that needs to be resolved. So one framework I’ll share, and this is from my first book, the HBR Guide to Dealing with Conflict, is really thinking about before you even have a difficult conversation, say you have a conflict where you and the other person have been disrespecting each other, maybe there was a snarky email that got sent with lots of people CC’d on it, and you need to actually have a conversation before you do that. I recommend taking four steps, and these also, by the way, can be used as a coaching tool. So perhaps you’re a leader and someone comes to you and says, I’m having a conflict with so-and-So you can use these four steps to help that person think through the conflict as well.

[06:42]: The first step is to think about the other person. So when we are under stress or when we have a threat, conflict is often seen as a threat, as a threat to our identity, to our resources, to the sense of harmony we have. When that happens, we become naturally narcissistic and we become focused on what do I want to say? What do I want to do? We don’t think about the other person, not out of generosity, but the very first step is to think strategically what’s going on with that other person? What’s motivating them? What do they care about? What would be a rational reason that they’re behaving this way? And that’s going to give you some cues as to how to navigate this not so healthy conflict. Put yourself in their shoes just for a few minutes. Then you want to think about what are we actually disagreeing about?

[07:27]: Because sometimes we take these shortcuts, like the snarky email goes out and we’re like, oh, Matt and I have never gotten along. We have this total personality clash attributed to the person, or we make it bigger than it really is, and you have to really think what is at issue here, right? Are we disagreeing about the goal of this project? Are we disagreeing about status? Who actually gets to make the call? What do we actually disagree about? Really try to understand. Then the third step is to think about your goal. What is it that I actually want to achieve? You might be tempted to have a short-term goal. I just want to prove I’m right and he’s wrong, not helpful. What’s your long-term goal? What is it you? Is it that you need to get this project done on time? Is it that you want to preserve your relationship with the other person because you need to work closely together for the next six months?

[08:14]: Whatever it is, focus on that and with that information, what you know about the other person, what you’re disagreeing about, what your goal is, you then make a decision about how to proceed. It has to be really thoughtful. I think we often act rashly because we’re sort of activated from the conflict, but you have to really be thoughtful. Does it make sense to sit down and talk this through? Who else might need to be in the room? Should I have a phone call if we’re remote, should I do a zoom meeting? Whatever it is, think through what’s the best way to set up this conversation for success. So that four step framework is something I always use whenever I’m trying to coach someone who’s really uncomfortable in thinking, I don’t want to have this conversation, or I just want to tell them they’re wrong and have them fix it. So those four steps can help you be much more thoughtful about preparing and being ready for the conversation.

[09:06] Matt Abrahams: One of the things I appreciate so much about your work is the frameworks that you provide, and I think frameworks are wonderful to help. Give us a moment to step back and reflect on what it is in terms of the best approach to managing these situations. I love that we first start by being other focused. It is so easy to get focused on our needs and what we want in that moment, and then to really look at what’s the source? What’s causing this conflict? What is it I want to achieve for me and perhaps for the other person or the organization. And then to really create a plan for how to proceed and then to think about when I actually do have the conversation, what’s the best way to do it in terms of timing, in terms of who else needs to be present and in terms of which is the best channel through which to have that communication really, really matters. I know for myself, when I’m in conflictual situations, I just want it to be over. I want to make sure that I get my way and I just want to move on. Having a framework like yours can really help slow me down and make me other focused, which I think will really help in resolving these conflicts.

Amy Gallo: Can I just make a comment? Having it my way is so normal, it’s so relatable. I mean, I’m thinking about a conflict I had yesterday and I was like, how can I set this up and truthfully, how can I manipulate this situation so it just goes my way? And then I was like, wait a second, I’m going to put this person completely on the defensive. This is all going to devolve, and then I’m going to have to have five more conversations instead of one in which I’m actually collaborative instead of manipulative. And so I think we really, that’s an important part is I often get asked, well, how can I make them do this? I was like, you cannot make them do anything, but what you can do is lay the groundwork for a collaborative discussion in which hopefully you both will get what you want or at least part of what you want. It’s rare to have a zero sum situation where you can’t sort of find something where you both can win a little.

[11:09] Matt Abrahams: People can’t see that I’m smiling broadly because it does my heart well to know that an expert in conflict management still falls into some of the traps that I do. Something there that you said that I think is really critical that I want to call out is that the goal of these conversations is invitation rather than getting the person to be defensive, that you want to invite the person to work with you to solve the problem. It’s a collaborative effort rather than a manipulative effort where you’re just trying to work around the other person. And one of the biggest payoffs beyond collaboration is it ultimately saves you time because as you implied, if you just try to manipulate the situation, you then have to spend so much time cleaning up that mess. So there’s an incentive just in terms of efficiency, I think, in all of this.

Amy Gallo: Absolutely.

[11:56] Matt Abrahams: Now, we’ve talked a lot about conflict and people that are difficult. I’d like to switch gears and look at the other side of the coin. In your book getting along, you share the benefits of having friends at work and actually seeking out those friendships. Can you shed some light on the benefits of having colleagues and friends at work, and what are some of your principles for how we can get along with anyone that we work with?

[12:22] Amy Gallo: I love this question because I think we could spend all day talking through the patterns of behavior that drive us up a wall, but the reality is when you look at all of the stats, most people have a majority of positive relationships at work, or at least neutral. The problem is those negative relationships take up an outsized portion of our energy and emotion, and so we’re really thinking a lot about the difficult people when in reality we should be spending most of our time focusing on the more positive relationships because there’s lots and lots of research that shows that those positive relationships have such a huge benefit, not only emotionally on us, right? Of course, it feels good to have a best friend on work, but also creatively in terms of efficiency. One of my favorite pieces of research I found in working on the book was a group of researchers at Rutgers University found that people who reported having a best friend at work had higher performance ratings.

[13:20] I think we often think about relationships as a bonus, right? Like, oh, I like the people I work with. Oh, how lucky you are. But the reality is it affects how we actually do our jobs. It’s not the icing on the cake. It is the cake. Now, that doesn’t mean that everyone at work has to be your best friends. You don’t have to go out for drinks. You don’t have to invite each other over for cookouts on the weekend. It just means you have to care about one another and be invested in one another’s success. That sort of warmth and benevolence between people really can make a big difference in how we experience work, but also in how we carry out and do the work.

[13:58] Matt Abrahams: But I’m hearing you say as your friends help you lighten your load. That’s right. That’s amazing. I know I made a mistake early in my managerial career where my whole goal was to be liked. I just wanted people to like me to be my friends, and I over-indexed on that so much so that people would take advantage of me. I’d love for you to share some advice about how to actually foster friendships at work without going to the extreme as I did and actually end up not making friends and actually making life a little bit worse for those who are reporting to me.

[14:29] Amy Gallo: So many people have been in your shoes, myself included, of if I’m liked, that is the gold. Every manager just wants to be everyone’s favorite manager. Why wouldn’t you want that? But if you think back to the managers you had, they weren’t necessarily my favorite managers. Sometimes it was actually the person who I didn’t have the warmest relationship with, but I respect it and I learned a lot and they pushed me. So I think really mentally thinking, focus on respect over likability. The other key piece is boundaries, and I think the issue there is you’re managing people, you’re becoming friends, and then you either feel taken advantage of, people start to perceive favoritism, all of those things that can happen, and that’s where you really need boundaries. In fact, I actually reported at one point in my career to someone who was a very good friend from college, and when we began our working relationship, we were very clear.

[15:22] We’re like, we got to keep this separate for the perception of others. We don’t want us to be perceived as playing favorites or giving one another advantages, but also because we don’t want it to impact our friendship. If she called me, I would say I’d pick up and say, friend call or work call, and I think it was really clear, and when there were potential conflicts of interest, which there were sometimes we were very clear about, okay, how are we going to navigate this? And I think that has to be true even if your friend is your peer, right, have a conversation. It doesn’t have to be sort of this in depth define the relationship conversation, but it could be helpful to say, sometimes I’m going to have information that you’re not going to be privy to. Sometimes I’m going to have to make a decision that I know is not going to be something you’re going to be super happy with, but how do we want to handle that? When that comes up, how do we want to make sure our friendship stays intact and not impact the work relationships? So I think boundaries are really important.

[16:16] Matt Abrahams: That is so helpful, and the notion of boundary setting is critical to those relationships, and you might set different boundaries with different colleagues, but having an overt, explicit conversation about the boundaries I think is critical, and certainly your advice to focus on being respected versus being liked is what I ultimately came to that conclusion, but it certainly had some, there were negative consequences before I learned that lesson, and in fact, the advice I give all new managers is focus on building trust, focus on building respect and liking often comes from that.

Amy Gallo: That’s right.

Matt Abrahams: Amy, this has been fantastic. I’ve enjoyed listening to all of your advice and guidance and it is so applicable in my daily life and I’m sure in the lives of the listeners we have. Before we end, I’d like to ask you three questions. One, I’m going to create just for you, and the other two are consistent across all of our guests. Are you up for answering?

Amy Gallo: Absolutely

[17:12] Matt Abrahams: Great. I’d like for you to think back to a challenging or conflictual situation you’ve had and what are you most proud of in terms of how you handled it?

[17:23] Amy Gallo: I have a 17-year-old daughter, and we talk about conflict a lot. What I’m realizing and what I’m most proud of in negotiating conflicts with her is being able to in the moment say, here are the various things that I’m struggling with. I want to be a good mom. I want to appear as a good mom. I want to care for you, and I also need my needs met, and to be able to talk through the conflicts of interest that have, it’s not always easy. Sometimes I’m just at level 10 and losing my mind, but when I can sort of take it down a few levels and actually be present enough to say, Hey, this is what’s going on, she’s so much more responsive because instead of being that know it all mom who’s just telling her what to do instead, I’m a real person who’s struggling saying, I don’t know what the best answer is, and this is why I’m doing what I’m doing.

[18:16] Matt Abrahams: I think that is wonderful that you can do that, and I strive to do that. It can help in any interaction, not just with our kids to say, here are the things I’m struggling with in this moment, sounding real, and maybe even getting some advice and guidance to be more collaborative. Question number two, who is a communicator that you admire and why?

Amy Gallo: I have maybe a slightly strange answer, but there’s a comedian named TIG Nataro. She’s an interesting communicator. She speaks very slowly. She’s very dry, sense of humor. The other thing I like about the way she communicates, it’s delightful. She doesn’t always say what you expect, the element of surprise, not in a bad way because you can also really feel the authenticity and the intention behind what she says, and so the way that she sort of surprises you by reacting in a certain way or just sort of laying a joke that’s very relatable, very human. I always appreciate what TIG has to say.

Matt Abrahams: So it sounds like the conversational and surprising nature of the communication is what really attracts you to it. I think those are two criteria that can draw all of us into communication. We often can be very scripted and purposeful in everything we say, and sometimes having a little bit of surprise can be helpful. Final question for you, what are the first three ingredients that go into a successful communication recipe?

Amy Gallo: First, I would say empathy. I think ultimately communication is about balancing your needs and someone else’s needs. I would say assertiveness, actually knowing what you want to say and saying it confidently, and then curiosity. I really always try to lead with what do I not know that I want to know, and how do I communicate in a way that will help me get that

[20:01] Matt Abrahams: Empathy, curiosity, and assertiveness. Great communication recipe. Start with what the others need, understand their perspective. Be curious about how you can connect and collaborate and then be clear and assertive in what you want. Amy, thank you so much for your time and for your guidance. I certainly have benefited personally in dealing with challenging situations. I appreciate your time and your information. Thank you so much.

Amy Gallo: Thank you, Matt. This has been really fun.

[20:34] Matt Abrahams: Thanks for joining us for another episode of Think Fast Talk Smart, the podcast from Stanford Graduate School of Business. This episode was produced by Jenny Luna, Michael Reilly, and me Matt Abrahams. For more information and episodes, visit gsb.stanford.edu or subscribe to our show wherever you get your podcasts. Finally, find us on social media at StanfordGSB.

For media inquiries, visit the Newsroom .

Explore More

Power, culture, persuasion, and the self: communication insights from stanford gsb faculty, when words aren’t enough: how to excel at nonverbal communication, navigating the nuance: the art of disagreeing without conflict, editor’s picks.

April 15, 2024 Embracing Failure: How to Make Mistakes That Work In this podcast episode, Amy C. Edmonson outlines how leaders can foster an environment where failure is viewed as a success.

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Classroom Q&A

With larry ferlazzo.

In this EdWeek blog, an experiment in knowledge-gathering, Ferlazzo will address readers’ questions on classroom management, ELL instruction, lesson planning, and other issues facing teachers. Send your questions to [email protected]. Read more from this blog.

The Best Ways to Resolve Conflicts Between Students

It’s not unusual for students to have conflicts with their classmates. What are the best ways teachers can create the conditional to stop them before they occur and respond once they have begun?

This series will explore possible actions educators can take.

Today, Vickie Gomez, Danny Woo, Kevin Parr, Jessica Torres, Rosalind Wiseman, and Dr. Bryan Harris contribute their ideas. You can listen to a 10-minute conversation I had with Danny, Kevin, and Jessica on my BAM! Radio Show . You can also find a list of, and links to, previous shows here .

Our school is very lucky because we have a very relational culture focused on restorative practices, and campus monitors who are experienced in conflict resolution.

For years, any time any of my students have had conflicts, I’ve texted Vickie Gomez, a campus monitor who is assigned to our “Small Learning Community.” Except for the very few times those conflicts had escalated into physical fights before I had called her in, she has mediated every dispute and it’s been resolved by the next class. I know that many other teachers in our school have had had similar experiences.

Last week, I asked Vickie to describe what she does:

I first talk with each student individually to find out what happened in class and to also find out what else has happened in that student’s day. Often the problem has nothing to do with the other student—something else took place earlier and it just boiled over. I try to get each student to put themselves into the other student’s position and how they might see things. I ask each student what ideas they have for resolving the problem. I take in this information, especially their ideas on how to resolve the problem, and take the two of them on a “walk and talk” together. I explain that I have to kick things up to administration—and to their parents—if they can’t resolve things. The vast majority of time, students work it out.

Students—and school staff—have an enormous amount of respect and affection for Vickie!

Response From Danny Woo

Danny Woo is a middle school science teacher at San Jose Charter Academy in West Covina, Calif. He centers his class on the implications science has on social, economic, and environmental justice:

The way adults handle student conflicts can go a long way in setting the tone of your classroom learning environment. If educators wish to establish a culture that values a sense of community, conflicts between students will be approached with reconciliation as the goal. This is the hallmark of the restorative justice model and nonviolent communication (NVC) where community building is achieved by focusing on strengthening and repairing relationships. This approach is most effective when it is a shared value among school leadership and is embedded in school wide practice. That said, if your school leans toward a traditional approach to discipline, you can still exercise restorative practices within your own classroom.

Before responding to student conflicts, we need to keep in mind Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs. Every student is looking for a sense of security, belonging, acknowledgment, and independence. And in the case of pre-teens and adolescents, these needs are heightened. In most cases, conflict arises when one of these needs are threatened.

My first steps in helping students resolve their conflict is to speak to both parties separately. This is a fact finding session to get a clearer picture of what each student involved is thinking. I ask the students for their point of view, establishing that I am reserving judgment. I make a point of being transparent and let each party know that I will be having this same conversation with the other student(s) but will not render an opinion. I make it clear that my goal is to eventually help them reconnect.

When I’ve had a chance to speak with all involved, we set up a time to meet together with me as the mediator. Prior to the meeting, I ask the students to think about what feelings are alive inside of them. Sometimes you will have to provide them with the language to describe their feelings. Next I ask them to think about what they need from the other party. This is the framework we use in our group session:

What is your perspective of the situation? Describe and share your point of view.
What are your feelings? What is alive inside of you? Name them.
What do you need from the person(s) who you have conflict with?

In the group session I have each party share their perspective on the situation. No one is allowed to interrupt or interject while the other person is sharing. Each party will have a turn to share their perspective and what feelings they harbor. I encourage them to be as explicit as possible in identifying and describing how they feel.

The last phase of this process is for each party to express their requests in the spirit of healing and reconciliation. In my 17 years of teaching, I have yet to meet children who are not amenable to finding solutions to an issue, especially if there is a history of friendship between the two parties. In the majority of cases I have dealt with, I found that conflicts arise due to a deficit in language to identify and express their feelings and needs. Children need to be given a framework that honors their thoughts and authentic self, as well as provides the opportunity to hear one another.

Response From Kevin Parr

Kevin Parr is a 4th grade teacher from Wenatchee, Wash., and an ASCD Emerging Leader:

Student Conflicts: Teachable Moments

Conflicts between students are a natural part of life inside a classroom or school and should be treated as such. In fact, helping students respond to and resolve conflicts with peers is an important part of their learning. Here are a few ways teachers can treat student-student conflicts as teachable moments:

Listen: At times, teachers try to quickly extinguish conflicts by resolving the problem for students rather than help students resolve conflicts themselves. In doing so, teachers deny students the opportunity to develop the skills and mindsets they will need to resolve interpersonal conflicts throughout their personal and professional lives. It may seem overly simplistic but a teacher’s primary role in helping kids resolve conflicts is to listen. Listening not only empowers students to take ownership of the conflict, it also models the important skill for them.

Avoid jumping to conclusions: When listening to student’s perspectives on a conflict it is easy for teachers to place blame on a particular student has been involved in similar conflicts before. Whereas reputations can exist for a reason a few things are wrong with this approach. First, if the goal is for students to learn to resolve their own conflicts, placing blame robs students of their ownership of the conflict. Second, it demonstrates to kids that their past mistakes will follow them forever even if their decisions and actions change. If our focus is on learning, every child deserves another chance.

Everyone has a role: Usually, there is more than one person at fault in student conflicts. Multiple kids generally have a role in creating the situation and/or making it worse. Rather than seeking to find a singular “guilty party” teachers should help all students see their role in the conflict and discover ways to act or react differently in the future.

You are not alone: It is important that teachers let students know that conflicts are normal and all people, including adults, have conflicts with others. Kids should also know that their current conflict will not be their last conflict so the skills they are learning and practicing will help them throughout their life. Furthermore, teachers can use personal stories to reinforce the notion that the skills students are building are life-long skills.

Understanding that student conflicts are natural can help teachers use them as teachable moments. Teachers should expect and embrace these conflicts as part of a child’s learning.

Response From Jessica Torres

Jessica Torres is a first year elementary assistant principal at Brook Avenue Elementary school in Waco, Texas. She formerly served as an instructional coach and a public Montessori elementary teacher. Torres is a current doctoral student in Tarleton State’s Educational Leadership Program. She obtained her Masters in Educational Administration through Concordia University, and her Bachelor degree from Stephen F. Austin. Known widely as @owl_b_torresedu by her Twitter PLN, Mrs. Torres is a staunch supporter of public education, personalized professional development and connecting with others who are passionate about education and students:

Conflict—Is it a Bad Word?

Responding to disputes between students is a skill often overlooked during many teacher preparation programs. Many new teachers walk into the classroom with the belief that a well-managed classroom will alleviate any scuffles or disagreements among students—this could not be further from the truth. Even the best teacher will have students who experience conflict with one another. Conflict is not always negative. Conflict can bring about change, different perspectives and allow various types of growth. The methods we use to prepare our students to deal with conflict effectively ultimately can determine whether or not students are prepared to step into the world as productive, peaceful citizens. Experiencing conflict in the classroom should not be viewed as a disruption to be removed or halted, but instead as an opportunity to teach students missing skills.

Responding to the Conflict

When responding to conflict, it is important to ensure safety first. If students have a physical conflict, ensure that they are separated and provided their areas in which to calm down. In a nonbiased tone, ask each student to describe what happened during the incident either verbally or in writing, whichever the student is most comfortable using to communicate. There are many behavior “think sheets” available online for students to complete during times of conflict. Once each student has shared their version of the incident discuss with them the effects their behavior had on the students around them, the teacher, and their learning.

Students often fail to realize that the conflict is not a contained event. Their actions impact more than just those involved directly. During this time coaching should come into play. Reminding students of the strategies that they can use when they feel themselves become angry, for example, breathing techniques, visiting a calm-down corner, or even reading a book with a character going through a similar situation. Supporting students as they feel emotions is critical to showing them appropriate ways to manage their feelings. Students must understand that everyone is allowed to feel angry or upset, the difference is in whether we react physically or inappropriately with words as opposed to rationally and calmly.

Restorative practices encourage the students to discuss with each other how they felt before, during and after the conflict. After acknowledging each other’s feelings, ask both students what can be done to fix the situation. Students often surprise me during this stage with their compassion and willingness to forgive each other. If students can come to a reasonable solution allow them to shake hands and continue with their day without receiving a punitive consequence. Through this process, students will begin moving away from expecting results, but instead working towards peace and restoring relationships.

Response From Rosalind Wiseman

Rosalind Wiseman is a teacher and bestselling author of Queen Bees & Wannabees , the book that inspired the hit movie Mean Girls, Masterminds & Wingmen , as well as Owning Up: Empowering Adolescents to Confront Social Cruelty, Bullying, and Injustice , a new curriculum for middle and high school students. She is the founder of Cultures of Dignity and lives in Colorado with her husband and two children. Follow her on Twitter at @cultureodignity :

This situation is harder than it looks. Were these students friends in the past and now they aren’t? Have they never gotten along? Is one child targeted for a specific reason like their ethnicity, race, disability, gender, socioeconomic class, or some other perceived inherent trait? If this dynamic exists then this situation should be defined as bullying instead of a conflict.

So first, take a step back and just watch your students to see if you notice a pattern in the students’ interaction. Are there consistent times of the day when the conflict seems to flare? Are other kids exacerbating the tension?

Once you’ve done the research, it’s time to reach out to each student—and that also requires consideration. In most cases, it’s more effective to meet with the students individually instead of meeting with the group where the dynamics within the relationship it can sabotage any hope for a positive outcome. So say something like, “Can we set up a time to talk? You’re not in trouble. I just want to check in with you about something that may be important.” Then meet with each student during a time of day and in a location that feels private and comfortable to the student.

Start the meeting by communicating the following: “Thanks for meeting with me, I want to talk about something that is important that has come to my attention.” Then explain the situation as it has been shared with you and/or what you observed. Ask the student how accurate they think your information is and listen to their anwer. If the child is willing to tell you what’s going on, give them the space to unload. If they are reluctant or deny it, respond with “I can probably understand why you may not want to tell me but I don’t want to make assumptions. So can you tell me why you don’t want to tell me? I think that’s probably really important for me to know. “

For all students it’s critical to communicate the following (in your own words): “It’s common for people to get into conflicts but it’s not ok if that conflict is making you or anyone else feel unsafe or that don’t want to come to class (or the school). As your teacher, it’s my responsibility to do whatever I need to do whatever support you and every student in my class. So I’m going to ask you a few questions and together we will figure out next steps.”

Then ask the student to answer the following questions

Why do they think the conflict is happening?
Why is the conflict making them feel bad/angry/anxious?
If this conflict involves a group of people, ask the student how they think the group is influencing the conflict.
What do they want to change? Even if that change seems small or obvious, what would it be?
What do they want out of the relationship with the person they are now in a conflict with? Do they want to be completely separated from this person? If they were friends before, do they still want a friendship?
What is one action, no matter how small, that they can take to make the situation better—where they feel good about how they’ve handled it.

While the child is talking the you can write down what they’re saying. After their done, read it back to them and ask them if you got it right or if they need to make any changes. The purpose is to help the student put their feelings to words and identify what they need. Remember in these situations, some students are trying to figure out how much you know so they can shut you down, others are relieved that an adult has brought it up. If the child is not feeling safe, then the teacher and student need to decide who in the school they can go to to tell and take additional steps. All to say when you’re having this talk, it’s really important to pay attention to the student body language, their tone, and the nature of their responses.

At the end of the conversation it’s time to reinforce your expectations; which should include some combination of “Every student in my class has the right to feel worthy and included. As your teacher, that looks like X to me. This situation is difficult and I really appreciate that you trusted me to tell me even a little of what’s going on. You can always come back and tell me more things you’re thinking or feeling. But for right now, you’ve done a lot. You’ve said what you don’t like and what you want. You’ve identified one thing you can do that will make you proud. So let’s check in tomorrow and see how you’re feeling.”

Response From Dr. Bryan Harris

Dr. Bryan Harris serves as the Director of Professional Development for the Casa Grande Elementary School District in Arizona. He is the author of five books on topics ranging from classroom management to student engagement. For more information his trainings and workshops, he can be reached at www.bryan-harris.com:

I am convinced of this one very important truth: the world would be a much better place if we all accepted the fact that conflict is a natural and unavoidable part of life. The world would also be a better place if people took more naps and someone invented zero-calorie cheesecake (but that’s a topic for another time).

When helping students work through conflict, we first need to understand the nature of it; as educators, we must have a solid grasp of what conflict is, how it is likely to manifest itself in the classroom, and effective ways to build conflict resolutions skills in our students. In order to do that, we need to briefly dig into some definitions and truths about conflict.

If you have no conflict in your life, one of two things is true: you’re dead or you’re not paying attention to the people around you. Since you are reading this, let’s start with the latter. Whenever you interact with the people around you—whether they be family members, co-workers, friends, or a stranger at the store there is the possibility (or the likelihood) that conflict will arise. If you look up dictionary definitions you’ll find phrases like struggle for power, strong disagreement, and an opposition of forces. None of those are pleasant so it’s no wonder people strive to avoid conflict. However, conflict is simply a by-product of being around other people. That is one of the first things I want students to understand—conflict simply is. It exists because I interact with other people. Its existence does not make me a bad person nor does it necessarily mean that I am doing something wrong (although my responses can often make the situation much, much worse). Too often we assign blame, place guilt upon ourselves, or ignore conflict when it arises. None of those are healthy responses.

So, what exactly is conflict and where does it come from? When working with students, we want to provide straightforward, honest, and simple answers even though the concepts are deep and complicated. In terms of external conflict with other people, I want students to understand that conflict typically comes from one of three situations: blocked goals or expectations, opposing beliefs or points of view, or miscommunication. In the simplest terms, someone has something I want = conflict. Someone is in my way = conflict. Someone thinks or says something I don’t like = conflict. Someone communicates in a way I don’t understand or appreciate = bingo, conflict!

Before we attempt to help mediate conflict among students, we first need to understand what we are dealing with. That, and we need to have a good handle on our own understanding of conflict. In summary, here are some big truths about conflict:

It is— As I mentioned before, conflict is just a natural part of the human existence. Its presence in my life merely means that I am interacting with other flawed, imperfect people.
It is unavoidable, expect it— I should not be surprised, flabbergasted, or stunned when I find myself in conflict with someone. Nor should I be overly frustrated. As educators, we should not be surprised or upset when our students are in conflict with each other. The fact is that many of our students are not learning effective conflict resolution skills at home and there aren’t a ton of excellent examples of conflict resolution models in the media, sports, entertainment, or politics.
It can be a good thing— The right kind of conflict can serve as a catalyst for personal growth. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t love conflict but when it is handled correctly, I learn a lot about myself and the people around me.
Our goal is to empower others— As educators, we should always be seeking ways to build skills in our students. We certainly adopt that belief when it comes to core academic skills and “soft” skills such as perseverance, attention to detail, and patience. We need to adopt this belief about building conflict resolution skills as well. Quite simply, the ability to understand and learn from conflict is a life skill. If students don’t learn it and create effective habits, life is going to be tough... regardless of their scores on achievement tests.

To answer the question directly, “How do we respond when students are having conflict with each other?” consider the following principles:

Don’t take it personally—Someone once shared the following acronym with me: QTIP (Quite Taking It Personally). Other peoples’ behavior typically says more about them then it does about me. When students act in inappropriate ways, it is not usually about the teacher (unless, of course, it is about the teacher because there is a level of disrespect, disorganization, or outright cruel behavior. The good news is that most teachers are positive role models who love their students.) As educators, we need to remember that students need patient, loving guidance from an adult who doesn’t take offense at every transgression.
Don’t catastrophize, exaggerate, or trivialize—When helping others work through their struggles, we need to remain tactful and neutral. Although we may think that their conflict is silly, we can make it worse if we go to extremes to show our disdain.
Avoid pronouns—When we use terms like I, they, us, we, and them we automatically pit people and groups against each other. It is best to stick to the facts when describing a situation that needs to be addressed. Although students may use lots of pronouns as they describe their conflict, we can help lower the stress levels if we remain neutral in our language.
Avoid sarcasm—Sarcasm will always make the situation worse.
Respond rather than react—Remember that conflict is a natural result of people spending time together. Classrooms are unique places... lots of people crammed together in a confined space for long periods of time. That’s practically a recipe for conflict. So, it’s not a matter of if there will be problems, it’s a matter of when and how often. As teachers and leaders, our job is to respond with a thoughtful plan.
Embody respect—In some cases (perhaps in many cases) we are the best role models our students have. As a result, we must always embody respect, show empathy, and express appreciation for all our students. Quite simply, our students will not develop appropriate conflict resolution skills unless we model it for them. Think about the message we are sending to kids if get easily offended, outright mad, start yelling, or demean those around us. When helping others, we need to be aware of our own emotions, body language, and frustrations.
Teach—Use role-plays, scenarios, current events, and other real-life situations to teach students the appropriate ways to handle conflict. Our students need and deserve to learn these skills. However, we cannot wait until “the heat of the moment” to try to talk kids through the process. Again, it’s not a matter of if there will be conflict in your classroom, it’s a matter of when. So get ahead of the curve and incorporate teaching opportunities throughout the school year.

The principles described above are reminders for us, the adults, as we direct and guide students. However, each of the principles can and should be taught to students. Of course, the age and maturity level of your students will dictate how you teach the principles but they should be made a priority.

Thanks to Vickie, Danny, Kevin, Jessica, Rosalind, and Bryan for their contributions!

(This is the first post in a two-part series)

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When two or more students are having a conflict, what are the most effective ways teachers can respond to the situation?

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What is conflict?

Causes of conflict in a relationship, how do you respond to conflict, conflict resolution, stress, and emotions, core skill 1: quick stress relief, core skill 2: emotional awareness, nonverbal communication and conflict resolution, more tips for managing and resolving conflict, conflict resolution skills.

Whatever the cause of disagreements and disputes at home or work, these skills can help you resolve conflict in a constructive way and keep your relationships strong and growing.

Conflict is a normal part of any healthy relationship. After all, two people can’t be expected to agree on everything, all the time. The key is not to fear or try to avoid conflict but to learn how to resolve it in a healthy way.

When conflict is mismanaged, it can cause great harm to a relationship, but when handled in a respectful, positive way, conflict provides an opportunity to strengthen the bond between two people. Whether you’re experiencing conflict at home, work, or school, learning these skills can help you resolve differences in a healthy way and build stronger, more rewarding relationships.

Conflict 101

A conflict is more than just a disagreement. It is a situation in which one or both parties perceive a threat (whether or not the threat is real).
Conflicts continue to fester when ignored. Because conflicts involve perceived threats to our well-being and survival, they stay with us until we face and resolve them.
We respond to conflicts based on our perceptions of the situation, not necessarily to an objective review of the facts. Our perceptions are influenced by our life experiences, culture, values, and beliefs.
Conflicts trigger strong emotions. If you aren’t comfortable with your emotions or able to manage them in times of stress, you won’t be able to resolve conflict successfully.
Conflicts are an opportunity for growth. When you’re able to resolve conflict in a relationship, it builds trust. You can feel secure knowing your relationship can survive challenges and disagreements.

Conflict arises from differences, both large and small. It occurs whenever people disagree over their values, motivations, perceptions, ideas, or desires. Sometimes these differences appear trivial, but when a conflict triggers strong feelings, a deep personal need is often at the core of the problem. These needs can range from the need to feel safe and secure or respected and valued, to the need for greater closeness and intimacy.

Think about the opposing needs of a toddler and a parent. The child’s need is to explore, so venturing to the street or the cliff edge meets that need. But the parent’s need is to protect the child’s safety, a need that can only be met by limiting the toddler’s exploration. Since these needs are at odds, conflict arises.

The needs of each party play an important role in the long-term success of a relationship. Each deserves respect and consideration. In personal relationships, a lack of understanding about differing needs can result in distance, arguments, and break-ups. In the workplace, differing needs can result in broken deals, decreased profits, and lost jobs.

[Read: Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship]

When you can recognize conflicting needs and are willing to examine them with compassion and understanding, it can lead to creative problem solving, team building, and stronger relationships.

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Do you fear conflict or avoid it at all costs? If your perception of conflict comes from painful memories from early childhood or previous unhealthy relationships, you may expect all disagreements to end badly. You may view conflict as demoralizing, humiliating, or something to fear. If your early life experiences left you feeling powerless or out of control, conflict may even be traumatizing for you.

If you’re afraid of conflict, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. When you enter a conflict situation already feeling threatened, it’s tough to deal with the problem at hand in a healthy way. Instead, you’re more likely to either shut down or blow up in anger.

Healthy and unhealthy ways of managing and resolving conflict

Unhealthy responses to conflict:	Healthy responses to conflict:
An inability to recognize and respond to the things that matter to the other person.	The capacity to empathize with the other person’s viewpoint.
Explosive, angry, hurtful, and resentful reactions.	Calm, non-defensive, and respectful reactions.
The withdrawal of love, resulting in rejection, isolation, shaming, and fear of abandonment.	A readiness to forgive and forget, and to move past the conflict without holding resentments or anger.
An inability to compromise or see the other person’s side.	The ability to seek compromise and avoid punishing.
Feeling fearful or avoiding conflict; expecting a bad outcome.	A belief that facing conflict head on is the best thing for both sides.

Conflict triggers strong emotions and can lead to hurt feelings, disappointment, and discomfort. When handled in an unhealthy manner, it can cause irreparable rifts, resentments, and break-ups. But when conflict is resolved in a healthy way, it increases your understanding of the other person, builds trust, and strengthens your relationships.

If you are out of touch with your feelings or so stressed that you can only pay attention to a limited number of emotions, you won’t be able to understand your own needs. This will make it hard to communicate with others and establish what’s really troubling you. For example, couples often argue about petty differences—the way she hangs the towels, the way he slurps his soup—rather than what is really bothering them.

The ability to successfully resolve conflict depends on your ability to:

Manage stress quickly while remaining alert and calm. By staying calm, you can accurately read and interpret verbal and nonverbal communication.
Control your emotions and behavior. When you’re in control of your emotions, you can communicate your needs without threatening, intimidating, or punishing others.
Pay attention to the feelings being expressed as well as the spoken words of others.
Be aware of and respect differences. By avoiding disrespectful words and actions, you can almost always resolve a problem faster.

To successfully resolve a conflict, you need to learn and practice two core skills:

Quick stress relief: the ability to quickly relieve stress in the moment.
Emotional awareness: the ability to remain comfortable enough with your emotions to react in constructive ways, even in the midst of a perceived attack.

Being able to manage and relieve stress in the moment is the key to staying balanced, focused, and in control, no matter what challenges you face. If you don’t know how to stay centered and in control of yourself, you will become overwhelmed in conflict situations and unable to respond in healthy ways.

Psychologist Connie Lillas uses a driving analogy to describe the three most common ways people respond when they’re overwhelmed by stress:

Foot on the gas. An angry or agitated stress response. You’re heated, keyed up, overly emotional, and unable to sit still.

Foot on the brake. A withdrawn or depressed stress response. You shut down, space out, and show very little energy or emotion.

Foot on both gas and brake. A tense and frozen stress response. You “freeze” under pressure and can’t do anything. You look paralyzed, but under the surface you’re extremely agitated.

How stress affects conflict resolution

Stress interferes with the ability to resolve conflict by limiting your ability to:

Accurately read another person’s body language .
Hear what someone is really saying.
Be aware of your own feelings.
Be in touch with your own, deep-rooted needs.
Communicate your needs clearly.

Is stress a problem for you?

You may be so used to feeling stressed that you’re not even aware you are stressed. Stress may pose a problem in your life if you identify with the following:

You often feel tense or tight somewhere in your body.
You’re not aware of movement in your chest or stomach when you breathe.
Conflict absorbs your time and attention.

Learn how to manage stress in the moment

One of the most reliable ways to rapidly reduce stress is by engaging one or more of your senses—sight, sound, taste, smell, touch—or through movement. You could squeeze a stress ball, smell a relaxing scent, taste a soothing cup of tea, or look at a treasured photograph. We all tend to respond differently to sensory input, often depending on how we respond to stress, so take some time to find things that are soothing to you. Read: Quick Stress Relief .

Emotional awareness is the key to understanding yourself and others. If you don’t know how or why you feel a certain way, you won’t be able to communicate effectively or resolve disagreements.

[Read: Improving Emotional Intelligence]

Although knowing your own feelings may sound simple, many people ignore or try to sedate strong emotions like anger, sadness, and fear. Your ability to handle conflict, however, depends on being connected to these feelings. If you’re afraid of strong emotions or if you insist on finding solutions that are strictly rational, your ability to face and resolve differences will be limited.

Why emotional awareness is a key factor in resolving conflict

Emotional awareness—the consciousness of your moment-to-moment emotional experience—and the ability to manage all of your feelings appropriately, is the basis of a communication process that can resolve conflict.

Emotional awareness helps you to:

Understand what is really troubling other people
Understand yourself, including what is really troubling you
Stay motivated until the conflict is resolved
Communicate clearly and effectively
Interest and influence others

Assessing your level of emotional awareness

The following quiz helps you assess your level of emotional awareness. Answer the following questions with: almost never, occasionally, often, very often, or almost always . There are no right or wrong responses, only the opportunity to become better acquainted with your emotional responses.

What kind of relationship do you have with your emotions?

Do you experience feelings that flow, encountering one emotion after another as your experiences change from moment to moment?
Are your emotions accompanied by physical sensations that you experience in places like your stomach or chest?
Do you experience distinct feelings and emotions, such as anger, sadness, fear, and joy, which are evident in different facial expressions?
Can you experience intense feelings that are strong enough to capture both your own attention and that of others?
Do you pay attention to your emotions? Do they factor into your decision-making?

If any of these experiences are unfamiliar, your emotions may be “turned” down or even off. In either case, you may need help developing your emotional awareness. You can do this by using Helpguide’s free Emotional Intelligence Toolkit.

When people are in the middle of a conflict, the words they use rarely convey the issues at the heart of the problem. But by paying close attention to the other person’s nonverbal signals or “body language,” such as facial expressions, posture, gestures, and tone of voice, you can better understand what the person is really saying. This will allow you to respond in a way that builds trust, and gets to the root of the problem.

[Read: Nonverbal Communication and Body Language]

Your ability to accurately read another person depends on your own emotional awareness. The more aware you are of your own emotions, the easier it will be for you to pick up on the wordless clues that reveal what others are feeling. Think about what you are transmitting to others during conflict, and if what you say matches your body language. If you say “I’m fine,” but you clench your teeth and look away, then your body is clearly signaling you are anything but “fine.” A calm tone of voice, a reassuring touch, or an interested facial expression can go a long way toward relaxing a tense exchange.

You can ensure that the process of managing and resolving conflict is as positive as possible by sticking to the following guidelines:

Listen for what is felt as well as said. When you really listen, you connect more deeply to your own needs and emotions, and to those of other people. Listening also strengthens, informs, and makes it easier for others to hear you when it’s your turn to speak.

Make conflict resolution the priority rather than winning or “being right.” Maintaining and strengthening the relationship, rather than “winning” the argument, should always be your first priority. Be respectful of the other person and their viewpoint.

Focus on the present. If you’re holding on to grudges based on past conflicts, your ability to see the reality of the current situation will be impaired. Rather than looking to the past and assigning blame, focus on what you can do in the here-and-now to solve the problem.

Pick your battles. Conflicts can be draining, so it’s important to consider whether the issue is really worth your time and energy. Maybe you don’t want to surrender a parking space if you’ve been circling for 15 minutes, but if there are dozens of empty spots, arguing over a single space isn’t worth it.

Be willing to forgive. Resolving conflict is impossible if you’re unwilling or unable to forgive others. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to punish, which can serve only to deplete and drain your life.

Know when to let something go. If you can’t come to an agreement, agree to disagree. It takes two people to keep an argument going. If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose to disengage and move on.

Using humor in conflict resolution

You can avoid many confrontations and resolve arguments and disagreements by communicating in a humorous way . Humor can help you say things that might otherwise be difficult to express without offending someone. However, it’s important that you laugh with the other person, not at them. When humor and play are used to reduce tension and anger, reframe problems, and put the situation into perspective, the conflict can actually become an opportunity for greater connection and intimacy.

More Information

CR Kit - Covers causes of conflict, different conflict styles, and fair fighting guidelines to help you positively resolve disagreements. (Conflict Resolution Network)
12 Skills Summary - A 12-step conflict resolution training kit. (Conflict Resolution Network)
Effective Communication - The art of listening in conflict resolution. (University of Maryland)
10.3 Causes and Outcomes of Conflict – Organizational Behavior . (n.d.). Retrieved May 25, 2022, from Link
Başoğul, C., & Özgür, G. (2016). Role of Emotional Intelligence in Conflict Management Strategies of Nurses. Asian Nursing Research , 10(3), 228–233. Link
Corcoran, Kathleen O’Connell, and Brent Mallinckrodt. “Adult Attachment, Self-Efficacy, Perspective Taking, and Conflict Resolution.” Journal of Counseling & Development 78, no. 4 (2000): 473–83. Link
Yarnell, Lisa M., and Kristin D. Neff. “Self-Compassion, Interpersonal Conflict Resolutions, and Well-Being.” Self and Identity 12, no. 2 (March 1, 2013): 146–59. Link
Tucker, Corinna Jenkins, Susan M. Mchale, and Ann C. Crouter. “Conflict Resolution: Links with Adolescents’ Family Relationships and Individual Well-Being.” Journal of Family Issues 24, no. 6 (September 1, 2003): 715–36. Link

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Conflict Resolution: How to Resolve an Argument Fast

But don’t worry! You can take some steps to quickly resolve an argument and save your relationship from the stress of a fight. Resolving disagreements can and should be done promptly. This article will discuss seven easy ways to stop arguing and start working on what matters: your relationships.

Tip One – Don’t get defensive.

Not getting defensive is a big concept in conflict resolution skills. When your partner comes to you with something that upset them or has a request for something to go differently, it is easy to get defensive, share why you did what you did, and tell your partner that it was not your intention to hurt them. Resolving conflict fast includes not getting defensive!

Defensiveness can also look like getting angry and turning the tables to what your partner had done to irritate you previously. (It goes without saying that you should avoid personal attacks at all costs, that is precisely what will get you in more trouble.)

Good conflict resolution skills start with active listening and reflecting on what your partner’s concern is. When we are defensive, we are not listening to the fears; we are protecting our ego, and only focusing on our own feelings. Defensiveness can make the other person feel unheard, unimportant, and not understood. Small stuff can quickly lead to hurt feelings, more differences, and more significant conflict.

Tip Two – Actively listen and reflect what your understanding is

To resolve conflict, listen to what your partner says and reflect those back to them. Doing this will not only help them feel heard, but it also communicates to your partner that you care about solving the argument and finding a solution together.

Tip Three – Offer relief

Offering immediate relief is a hallmark of a healthy relationship. Offering relief to your partner shows that you are there for them, and it also communicates to your partner that they matter. Ensure this doesn’t take the form of trying to solve their problems or fix things for them. Instead, offer relief by taking responsibility for your part, followed by a hug or touch. The longer you wait, or the more words you use explaining, is a dangerous signal to their nervous system. To help them feel safe, use this simple but profound tip. Offering relief will help dissipate conflict in a relatioinship.

Tip Four – Be face to face with eye contact

Being face to face with eye contact helps us have a better understanding of microexpressions, body language, and reading our partner. It also creates safety, helps your partner manage the stress from unresolved conflict, and helps dissipate anger. Always be face to face with eye contact when discussing anything of importance, especially when trying to resolve disagreements.

Tip Five – Only discuss one topic at a time

It is important to only talk about one topic at a time. Bringing up multiple cases leads the conversation in different directions that do not resolve anything. When talking, you should focus on resolving one issue and nothing else until you entirely resolve it first. If your partner brings up another topic without finishing the previous discussion, tell them that they need to focus on just one thing for now. Only discussing one issue at a time supports healthy communication.

Tip six – Don’t avoid conflict

Tip seven – Don’t argue about what happened

A fast way to resolve relationship conflict is to not argue about what happened. It’s easy to dig in your heels and start arguing why your viewpoint is correct and who said and did what. But, this makes the conflict worse. Healthy relationships recognize each person’s perspective. Each person has a myriad of different experiences, psychological makeup, biological makeup, neurology, brain, and nervous system. Two people can go through the same experience together yet experience it quite differently. Don’t get stuck in the area of deciding one partner is right and the other wrong. Both viewpoints are essential and need to be heard. One of the fastest ways to find a middle ground is not to argue a perspective.

I hope this article has given you a better understanding of resolving arguments quickly and more effectively. And if it did help you, share it with your friends on social media using #relationshipresolutiontips.

To get even more tips from Dr. Nicole McGuffin herself, follow her on Instagram @drnicolemcguffin or visit her website https://drnicolemcguff.wpengine.com/ . She offers PACT to couples (Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy) https://www.thepactinstitute.com/what-is-pact in her private practice. This relationship therapy developed by Dr. Stan Tatkin gets to the root of the problem quickly so couples can create secure functioning, fairness, justice, security, and true mutualit

Dr. Nicole McGuffin specializes in relationships and trauma. She is accomplished in neurofeedback and therapy with more than 15 years of expertise in psychology, neurophysiology, and psychobiology. Dr. McGuffin empowers people to create real healing and transformation.

Individual Psychotherapy, PACT Couples & Relationship Counseling Neurofeedback

1082 The Blvd, Steamboat Springs, CO 80487

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Step 9: Writing an Argumentative Essay
Jordan Peterson on Resolving Conflict and How to Have "Productive Arguments"

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Essay on Resolving Conflicts
Resolving conflicts isn't easy. It takes practice. But, the more you do it, the better you'll get at it. And remember, it's okay to ask for help. If you're having a hard time solving a conflict, talk to a trusted adult. They can give you advice and help you find a solution. In conclusion, conflict is a part of life.
What is Conflict Resolution, and How Does It Work?
Conflict resolution can be defined as the informal or formal process that two or more parties use to find a peaceful solution to their dispute. A number of common cognitive and emotional traps, many of them unconscious, can exacerbate conflict and contribute to the need for conflict resolution: • Self-serving fairness interpretations.
Essays About Conflict: Top 5 Examples and 7 Writing Prompts
In this essay, write about historical and current conflicts and explain their origins. Then, examine the efforts made by past and present governments to resolve these disputes, including the positive or negative impacts of these conflicts on the world at large. 4. Karl Marx's Theory of Conflict.
3 Key Tips for How to Write an Argumentative Essay
3 Key Tips for How to Write an Argumentative Essay
How to Make Conflict Less Destructive
When the conflict is really hard, we may need a kind of community intervention. I call this a "swarm" —a critical mass of persuasive influence and assistance—that can help the parties find ...
How to Resolve Conflict Without Violence: Building ...
In this essay, we will delve into the nuanced ways to resolve conflicts without resorting to violence, emphasizing the significance of communication, the transformative power of empathy, the role of mediation as a guiding light, and the benefits of embracing compromise as a means of resolution.
How to Write an Argumentative Essay
How to Write an Argumentative Essay | Examples & Tips
Resolving Conflicts: from Personal to Global
Introduction to Conflict. Conflict is an inevitable part of human existence, manifesting in various forms and settings, from personal relationships to global political arenas. It is defined as a serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one, that can vary in intensity and duration. Understanding conflict is crucial for developing ...
How to Write an A+ Argumentative Essay
An argumentative essay attempts to convince a reader to agree with a particular argument (the writer's thesis statement). The writer takes a firm stand one way or another on a topic and then uses hard evidence to support that stance. An argumentative essay seeks to prove to the reader that one argument —the writer's argument— is the ...
How to Write an Argumentative Essay
Tips for Writing a Well-Written Argumentative Essay. Introduce your topic in a bold, direct, and engaging manner to captivate your readers and encourage them to keep reading. Provide sufficient evidence to justify your argument and convince readers to adopt this point of view. Consider, include, and fairly present all sides of the topic.
5 Strategies for Conflict Resolution in the Workplace
5 Strategies for Conflict Resolution in the Workplace
How to Resolve Conflict Essay
1352 Words. 6 Pages. 3 Works Cited. Open Document. Conflict is in inevitable part of our everyday lives. Since no two people view things in the exact same manner, disagreement will most certainly arise at some point in time. Conflict is simply a difference of opinion and is considered to be a normal part of our everyday lives.
Argumentative Essay: Guide on How to Write
1. First evidential support of your reason (known as confirmatio) 2. Second evidential support of your reason, then third, and so on. B. Summarize your first reason again and tie it together with evidential support. III. Second reason, etc. A. Continue to list your reasons in the same format as the first.
12 Essential Steps for Writing an Argumentative Essay (with ...
Here's our 12-step recipe for writing a great argumentative essay: Pick a topic. Choose your research sources. Read your sources and take notes. Create a thesis statement. Choose three main arguments to support your thesis statement —now you have a skeleton outline.
Conflict Resolution Skills: What They Are and How to Use Them
Conflict is a part of life. It's a natural and oftentimes healthy occurrence brought about by differences. You may experience conflict with friends, family, or coworkers, and you might need to be able to defuse the situation productively. Conflict resolution skills exist to help you do just that. Practicing open communication by utilizing ...
Resolving Conflict Essay
Resolving Conflict Essay. This essay sample was donated by a student to help the academic community. Papers provided by EduBirdie writers usually outdo students' samples. "Conflict is inevitable in organizations. However, it can be both a positive and negative force.". As a leader of a current team, at your next team meeting, you plan to do ...
Communicating Through Conflict: How to Get Along with Anyone
Full Transcript. Note: Transcripts are generated by machine and lightly edited by humans. They may contain errors. Matt Abrahams: Many of us seek to keep conflict out of our work, but counterintuitively conflict can actually help us be better at work. My name is Matt Abrahams and I teach Strategic Communication at Stanford Graduate School of Business.
The Best Ways to Resolve Conflicts Between Students
My first steps in helping students resolve their conflict is to speak to both parties separately. This is a fact finding session to get a clearer picture of what each student involved is thinking ...
Conflict Resolution
8 Ways to Resolve Conflict in the Workplace
Conflict Resolution Skills
Pay attention to the feelings being expressed as well as the spoken words of others. Be aware of and respect differences. By avoiding disrespectful words and actions, you can almost always resolve a problem faster. To successfully resolve a conflict, you need to learn and practice two core skills:
Conflict Resolution: How to Resolve an Argument Fast
Tip Two - Actively listen and reflect what your understanding is. To resolve conflict, listen to what your partner says and reflect those back to them. Doing this will not only help them feel heard, but it also communicates to your partner that you care about solving the argument and finding a solution together.

Essay on Resolving Conflicts

100 Words Essay on Resolving Conflicts

Listening Carefully

Expressing Feelings

Finding a Solution

Practice Patience

Steps to Resolve Conflicts

Creating Solutions

Learning from Conflicts

500 Words Essay on Resolving Conflicts

Why is Conflict Resolution Important?

Step 1: Calm Down

Step 2: Understand the Problem

Step 4: Find a Solution

Step 5: Agree on the Solution

Practice Makes Perfect

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Essays About Conflict: Top 5 Examples and 7 Writing Prompts

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Resolving Conflicts: from Personal to Global

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How to Write an A+ Argumentative Essay

What Is an Argumentative Essay? How Is it Different from Other Kinds of Essays?

Argumentative Essay

Persuasive Essay

Expository Essay

Analytical Essay

A Typical Argumentative Essay Assignment

Good Argumentative Essay Topics

Argumentative Essay Format

Paragraph 1: Intro

Paragraph 2: Support

Paragraph 3: Support

Paragraph 4: Counterargument

Paragraph 5: Conclusion

Paragraph 1—Set Up and Claim

Paragraphs 2 and 3—Your Evidence