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Top 12 Leadership Competencies Explained: Get Ready to Lead

In his iconic book, Focus, Daniel Goleman, the world-renowned psychologist speaks of a leader as having three kinds of areas to master. These are the inner focus, the outer focus, and the other focus. Excellent leadership, according to Goleman, has to have a balance between these three domains. As an example, a leader without an inner focus is unlikely to see the outer world in the correct light.

Leadership, ultimately, boils down to earmarking/customizing the competencies needed in each of these focuses. There are, of course, common competencies in these that have stood the test of time. In this blog, we take you through the key leadership competencies that encompass the best of human traits.

What are leadership competencies?

Leadership competencies are the set of skills and behaviors that contribute to task efficiency and better performance in a group setting. Leadership, as a people management skill, is a combination of cognitive, interpersonal, business, and strategic components. It includes attributes, such as adaptability, values, task management, understanding, etc, that help leaders to be more effective in their roles. They strive to

Variation in the skill set describes and determines different leadership styles. However, there are certain non-negotiable leadership competencies that are indispensable for businesses. For example, good leaders are expected to always take the blame and share the credit for team achievement. An illustration of this is seen several times in the Tom Hanks' starrer Forrest Gump. If you too intend to make a positive difference, check these top 20 coaching and mentoring templates .

Even though there is no standard way to classify and define leadership competencies, from a business perspective, they are generally divided into five broad categories. These are:

• Managing Self: There's no denying that managing oneself is one of the most important leadership skills. After all, if you can't manage your own time, energy, and resources effectively, how can you expect to lead others effectively? It includes qualities such as honesty, resilience, integrity, problem solving, etc. While some people are adept at managing themselves, others struggle with it. Regardless, it is an essential leadership attribute.
• Managing projects: Project management is a critical leadership skill. The ability to plan, organize, and execute projects within deadline can mean the difference between success and failure. It includes qualities like team building, accountability, credibility, negotiation, etc. An effective project manager understands how to set goals, develop timelines, and allocate resources. They also know how to communicate with stakeholders, keep track of progress, and troubleshoot problems. To help you streamline these components and boost productivity, here are some popular PPT Templates .
• Managing people: One of the most important skills in any leader's toolkit is the ability to manage people in a way that maximizes their potential. After all, leadership is primarily about setting a direction and then mobilizing people to achieve common goals. But what does it take to be a good manager? There are many different styles of management, and the best approach depends on the specific situation. However, some basic traits that a good leader possesses include conflict management , appreciation of diversity, etc. And if you're wondering about ways to motivate and inspire your peers, here's an informative guide you shouldn't miss!
• Managing programs: In today's business world, the ability to manage programs is essential for success. A program manager is responsible for coordinating and overseeing the elements of a program, including its budget, schedule, and scope. Important attributes in this category are technology management, creativity, innovation, financial acumen, etc.
• Leading organizations: Great leaders inspire others to achieve more than they thought possible. They are visionaries who always see the good in people and organizations (a la Pollyanna), and they work tirelessly to make things better. For this, they require qualities such as external awareness, foresightedness, strategic thinking, etc. This helps them leave an everlasting impression by making their way to leaderboard .

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Knowing and practicing leadership qualities are two very different things yet deeply intertwined elements. The right balance between the two will help a person become a successful leader. This assessment PPT Sample can be used at both, individual and organizational level. The given design contains the leadership capability spectrum that provides a detailed analysis of the skills and attributes, thereby helping in making an informed decision. Companies are using this to find the right candidate or potential leader. Download now!

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Being a leader is not as easy as it seems. It requires effort, dedication, and the ability to handle the responsibility. Moreover, leadership is the culmination of identified and unidentified factors. Of course, there is no single formula for success when it comes to leadership. Different leaders have different styles and methods. But the qualities mentioned in this guide can be a good starting point for anyone who wants to develop their leadership skills. If you're looking to make a difference in the world, start by developing your own leadership skills. It may just be the best decision you ever make.

Leadership Competencies FAQs

What are core leadership skills?

There are many skills that are essential for effective leadership, but some are more important than others. One of the most essential skills is the ability to develop a clear vision and then communicate that vision to others. A leader must be able to articulate what they want to achieve and inspire others to work towards that goal. Another crucial skill is the ability to build relationships and bring people together. A leader must be self-aware, courageous, confident, and influential. These are just a few of the core leadership skills that are necessary for success.

What is a leadership competency model?

A leadership competency model is a framework that outlines the specific skills and attributes that are necessary for effective leadership. While there are many different competency models in existence, they all share a common goal: to identify the key characteristics that distinguish successful leaders from those who are less effective. The specific competencies included in a given model will vary depending on the organization or context, but the most common attributes are communication, problem-solving, decision-making, emotional intelligence, and team-building. By clearly defining what is required for success, a competency model can serve as an invaluable tool for both individuals and organizations alike.

Why is competence important to leadership?

A leader is someone who is able to guide and motivate others towards a common goal. Competence implies a certain level of skill and knowledge. Competence enables a leader to motivate, inspire and solve problems. It helps them to showcase an exemplary behavior that sets a mark for others to follow. The ability to be competent facilities the will for life-long learning and innovation, thereby promoting growth. Eventually, competence sets the foundation for strong leadership.

How do you develop leadership competencies?

Many people view leadership as a quality that some people are born with, while others are not. However, there is increasing evidence that leadership is a skill that can be developed through training and experience. There are many different ways to develop leadership competencies, but some common approaches include corporate mentoring , coaching, and structured learning experiences. Formal leadership development programs often include a mix of classroom instruction and experiential learning, such as simulations and role-playing exercises. In addition, many organizations provide opportunities for employees to take on leadership roles in special projects or committees. With relevant experiences and opportunities, individuals can develop the skills and knowledge needed to become effective leaders.

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Leadership - Ten Qualities of a Good Leader PowerPoint

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22 February 2018

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How To Use Your Presentation Skills To Be A Great Leader

What comes to mind when you think of a great leader? Typically, a strong, authoritative presence, someone with influence and gravitas who can command your attention, engage and enthuse you.

Whilst these characteristics come naturally to some, others need to learn and hone them.

This is an exciting prospect for anyone looking to take their leadership to the next level. We each have the potential to become a great leader.  However, we need to know how to develop those characteristics. We also need to have the commitment to see it through.

So how do we go about this?

Think before you deliver

Being able to communicate powerfully is fundamental to becoming a great leader. Which is why when you look around at great leaders they can all present with great skill.

Crucially though, it is not so much about what you say, but how you deliver and the words you use.

Two people can stand up and communicate essentially the same subject matter, but the way in which it is delivered will influence the reception it receives. Julian Treasure, founder of the world’s first strategic sound consultancy speaks about using four powerful cornerstones to frame how you deliver what you wish to say . These are honesty, authenticity, integrity and love. He argues that if you use these four as a framework when communicating, people will listen. Be negative, confuse fact with opinion, or exaggerate the facts and your audience will switch off.

Equally important is how you listen and answer questions. In particular, how you handle challenges to your point of view take on board other points of view. There is no point working hard to capture everyone’s attention only to lose it because you fail to listen when it’s your audience’s turn to speak. Or even worse, you panic and become defensive when challenged.

Training programmes such the personal impact programmes offered by Positive Consultancy can really help. As well as focusing on how you deliver, they provide coaching on how to improve your listening, how to handle questions and how to recover from difficult situations.

But delivery is only part of the story. What else do you need to develop the presentation skills that will make you a great leader?

It’s not only what you say, but how you say it

Julian describes our voices as tools that we very much under-use. If we deploy them correctly though, they can really get you heard and listened to. When we think about our voice in relation to effective presentation skills, yes, most of us are aware that the slower and deeper the better. However, there is so much more from the timbre of your voice – the smoother the better – to its volume and pitch.

You may be naturally blessed with some or all of these vocal characteristics. If not, they can be learned.

Again, programmes such as the above mentioned personal impact programme can help you develop an inspiring believable vocal line. They can also help you learn how to turn silence into a powerful tool to help you capture and maintain your audience’s attention.

What is your body language saying though?

According to Social Psychologist, Amy Cuddy, as humans, we naturally make sweeping judgements based on our body language and can make life changing decisions as a result, such as who to hire or who to date. As a leader, your body language will therefore play a significant role in whether someone decides to trust, believe in and follow you.

Through her studies into the nonverbal expressions of power and dominance, Amy discovered that humans very much reflect the animal kingdom in that they make themselves big, open themselves up and take up space. Likewise, they do the opposite when they are fearful or afraid. She wanted to see whether you could turn instinctive reflex on its head. By making yourself display nonverbal expressions of power and dominance, could you make yourself feel powerful? Could we in fact make our bodies change our minds? Experiments she ran yielded conclusive results that they did.

When it comes to good presentation skills, being able to control your nonverbal reflexes in this way can really make a difference as to whether you can win over your audience or not.  

A little less conversation, a little more action please

However, knowing and talking about what you need to do to present well to become a better leader is only part of the journey. Committing to it, is the other, which is not always an easy task, and this is where executive leadership coaching can help.  Helping you develop a mindset that builds the drive to succeed, to commit to your learning and development, and to take risks and actually take action.

Programmes such as Positive Consultancy’s leadership coaching can help you develop the right mindset to commit yourself to taking the necessary steps to becoming a great leader – a fundamental one of course being to develop and sharpen your presentations skills.

So, there is a great leader within each of us. Finding the right training in presentation skills supported by the right executive leadership coaching to make sure we act is an assured way to bring out the leader within.

If you’d like to know more about how we can help you enhance your presentation skills, get in touch today for a free initial consultation.

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15 Characteristics and Qualities of a Good Leader (with Tips)

A good leader is someone who can inspire and motivate others to work towards common goals, maintain a harmonious work environment, and adapt to new challenges as they arise. In this article, we will explore 15 qualities that set exceptional leaders apart. Some of these traits may appear innate, while others can be cultivated with practice and determination.

Strong Communication

Listening skills.

Active listening is a vital component of strong communication for leaders. It involves giving full attention to the speaker, withholding judgment, and seeking to understand their perspective. It allows leaders to better connect with their team members and make informed decisions based on the input they receive. (Learn more: Active Listening: Techniques, Examples, Tips)

Incorporating active listening into daily interactions can also prevent misunderstandings and conflicts. For example, a leader who listens to the concerns of a frustrated employee can address the problem promptly and effectively, instead of dismissing the employee’s feelings and potentially worsening the situation.

Some techniques to improve active listening:

• Maintaining eye contact during conversations
• Asking open-ended questions to elicit more information
• Summarizing and paraphrasing to confirm understanding

Related: What Is Active Listening? (Examples, How-to’s, Best Practices)

Verbal Communication

Effective verbal communication is another critical aspect of strong leadership. A good leader conveys information in a clear and concise manner, ensuring that all members understand their roles and responsibilities within the team.

Having a well-organized and engaging speaking style helps leaders achieve this goal. For example, using simple language, speaking with enthusiasm, and incorporating anecdotes or examples can make the message more relatable and memorable.

While effective verbal communication is important, it is equally important for a leader to remember to listen actively , provide and solicit feedback regularly, encourage open communication among team members, and have good non-verbal communication skills:

Effective Nonverbal Communication in the Workplace (with Examples)

How to Give Feedback (and Avoid Mistakes)

Empathy and Emotional Intelligence

Empathy and emotional intelligence are vital qualities for a good leader. These qualities help leaders build strong relationships with their team members and understand their feelings and perspectives. This fosters a positive work environment and boosts team morale, leading to increased productivity and performance.

Empathy means putting oneself in another person’s shoes and feeling what they feel. A leader who demonstrates empathy can better support their team members by addressing their concerns and offering appropriate solutions. Some examples of empathetic leadership skills include listening actively, engaging in open communication, and expressing understanding.

Emotional intelligence is a person’s ability to recognize, understand, and manage their own emotions and those of others. A leader with high emotional intelligence is better equipped to maintain a balanced and positive workplace atmosphere. They can effectively communicate with their team, handle conflicts, and provide constructive feedback to help team members grow professionally.

Learn more: Emotional Intelligence (EQ) in Leadership [Examples, Tips]

Here are some ways leaders can demonstrate empathy and emotional intelligence:

• Active listening: Make an effort to truly hear and understand team members when they express their thoughts or concerns. This shows that their opinions are valued and contributes to an open, trusting environment. (Learn more: Active Listening: Techniques, Examples, Tips)
• Effective communication: Clearly express expectations, provide constructive feedback, and engage in open conversation with team members. This helps ensure everyone is on the same page and working towards the same goals.
• Conflict resolution: Address issues or disagreements within the team quickly and effectively, taking into consideration the emotions and feelings of all parties involved. This encourages collaboration and promotes a harmonious work environment.
• Emotional self-awareness: Acknowledge and control your own emotions as a leader, setting a positive example for your team. This demonstrates maturity and helps to cultivate a healthy workplace culture.

Learn more:

How to Choose a Conflict Management Style? [5 Styles with Examples]

How to Manage Conflict in the Workplace [with Examples]

How to Resolve Employee Conflict at Work [Steps, Tips, Examples]

30 Employee Feedback Examples (Positive & Negative)

• How to Cultivate Self-Awareness (10 Tips)

Confidence and Decisiveness

Confidence helps a leader gain the trust and respect of their team members. For example, when a leader confidently presents a project plan to their team, team members are more likely to believe in the leader’s vision and commit to executing the plan accordingly.

Decisiveness means the leader’s ability to make decisions quickly, thoughtfully, and effectively. This is especially important in complex, high-pressure situations where indecisiveness can lead to confusion or stalled progress. A decisive leader needs to analyze information, consider varying viewpoints, and communicate decisions to the team with conviction.

Examples of Confidence and Decisiveness:

• CEO Decision-Making: In 1997, Steve Jobs displayed confidence and decisiveness when he returned to Apple as CEO and made strategic decisions, like discontinuing unsuccessful product lines and increasing focus on key products. His bold decisions and confidence in his vision restored Apple’s financial stability and set the stage for its future growth.
• Emergency Management: During natural disasters, leaders of emergency response teams must confidently and decisively establish a plan of action. This ensures that rescue efforts and resource allocations are well-coordinated and effective, ultimately saving lives and minimizing damage.

Visionary Thinking

Visionary thinking in this context means the leader’s ability to create a clear and compelling vision for their team or organization, as well as conveying that vision in a way that inspires and motivates others.

Visionary thinking often requires leaders to be open to new ideas, and to actively seek out and incorporate diverse perspectives.

Here are some ways in which leaders can cultivate visionary thinking:

• Continuous learning: Stay updated on industry trends and emerging technologies, and proactively seek opportunities to expand their knowledge and skills.
• Long-term planning: Set clear and ambitious goals for the future, and support their team in achieving these objectives.
• Adaptability: Be willing to adjust their vision and strategies as necessary, based on changing circumstances or new information.

Related: What Is Visionary Leadership? 7 Traits of a Visionary Leader

Being Inspiring and Motivating

A good leader possesses the ability to inspire and motivate their team members towards a common goal: creating a shared vision, setting clear expectations, and showing genuine interest in each individual’s growth and development. Good leaders allow their team to see the bigger picture, how their work contributes to the overall success of the organization, and why it matters.

One example of a leader who demonstrates this quality is Nelson Mandela. He inspired and motivated a divided nation by advocating for unity and justice, and by leading South Africa towards a more equal and inclusive society.

Having effective communication skills is essential to inspiring and motivating a team. A leader can achieve this through:

• Sharing success stories and highlighting the impact of the team’s work
• Providing regular feedback and acknowledging each person’s contributions
• Challenging team members to improve and achieve higher goals

In addition, a good leader sincerely cares for their team and supports their growth by:

• Investing in training and development programs to enhance their skills
• Offering regular coaching and mentorship opportunities
• Encouraging collaboration and creating an environment where ideas, creativity, and innovation can flourish

Related: Leadership Communication: How You Can Inspire Action and Change Lives

Adaptability and Flexibility

A good leader is adaptable and flexible, able to navigate the often unpredictable changes that arise in any organization or industry. This means being open to new ideas, adjusting strategies to respond to shifting circumstances, and staying nimble in decision-making.

For example, when faced with an unexpected challenge, a flexible leader may quickly adjust their approach, reevaluating goals and reallocating resources as necessary. This can involve modifying existing plans, adopting new technologies, or revisiting priorities to ensure the team stays on track and focused on the right objectives.

Adaptability and flexibility can also involve listening to and considering the perspective of team members. This can help the leader recognize potential blind spots and identify innovative solutions that may have been overlooked.

To demonstrate adaptability and flexibility, a leader might:

• Be open to new ideas and willing to change direction when necessary
• Stay current with trends and developments in their industry
• Encourage and value input from team members
• Acknowledge mistakes and learn from them
• Seize opportunities to drive growth and improvement

An adaptable and flexible leader is better equipped to handle unpredictable situations and lead their team through changes with a calm, confident demeanor. This quality fosters resilience and ensures the organization continues to evolve and thrive in the face of uncertainty.

Integrity and Accountability

Integrity and accountability are essential qualities of a good leader. When leaders exhibit these traits, they build trust and set a positive example for their team members. Integrity and accountability are demonstrated by being transparent and accepting responsibility:

Accepting Responsibility

Good leaders accept responsibility for their actions, as well as the actions of their team. By holding themselves accountable, leaders demonstrate a commitment to ethical behavior and continuous improvement. Examples of accepting responsibility include:

• Example 1: A project fails to meet its deadline.
• Accepting Responsibility: Leader takes ownership and identifies ways to improve in the future.
• Example 2: A team member makes a mistake.
• Accepting Responsibility: Leader provides constructive feedback and supports the team member in correcting the error.
• Example 3: An ethical issue arises.
• Accepting Responsibility: Leader addresses the issue head-on and takes appropriate measures to ensure it does not recur.

Transparency

Honest leaders are transparent in their decision-making process, ensuring that everyone on the team has access to accurate information. They are also straightforward with team members when it comes to providing constructive feedback or addressing concerns. This establishes a clear line of communication and promotes accountability within the group.

Transparency allows leaders to establish trust, and it encourages open communication within the team. Examples of transparent leadership include:

• Sharing information about company goals and objectives
• Communicating the reasons behind policy changes
• Welcoming feedback and addressing concerns openly

When a leader is transparent, team members are more likely to feel informed, engaged, and respected, which leads to a more productive work environment.

Learn more: How to Build Trust in the Workplace [18 Effective Solutions]

Problem Solving and Decision Making

A good leader demonstrates their ability to solve problems and make decisions effectively. Let’s explore some factors that contribute to strong problem-solving and decision-making skills.

• Critical thinking : The foundation for sound decision making is critical thinking. A leader with strong critical thinking skills can assess situations objectively, analyze various options, and draw logical conclusions. This helps them make informed decisions that align with their organization’s goals and values.
• Creative problem-solving : Following a creative approach allows leaders to find innovative solutions and overcome challenges. They shouldn’t be afraid to think outside the box and encourage their team members to do the same. This mindset often leads to effective solutions that might not have been identified with a more conventional approach.
• Adaptable decision-making : Different situations call for different decision-making techniques. A good leader can adapt their decision-making style to suit the scenario, whether it requires consensus-building, taking a directive approach, or delegating responsibility to others on the team.

Related: Ethical Decision Making Models and 6 Steps of Ethical Decision Making Process

Example: A company is facing a major decision that could impact its long-term success. The leader gathers input from team members, carefully analyzes the available information, and considers both traditional and unconventional solutions. They openly communicate their thought process to the team, confidently make a well informed decision and develop an action plan for implementing the chosen strategy. This demonstrates a combination of critical thinking, creative problem solving, decisiveness, and adaptable decision-making.

Resilience and Persistence

A good leader demonstrates resilience and persistence in the face of setbacks and challenges. This quality enables them to adapt to changing circumstances and maintain a positive outlook despite difficulties, ultimately leading their team to success.

For example, when a project encounters unforeseen obstacles, a resilient leader will analyze the situation and identify alternative solutions instead of giving up or becoming discouraged. This characteristic also helps people gain respect and trust from their team, as they see the leader’s commitment to overcoming obstacles.

Resilient and persistent leaders also foster a supportive environment by encouraging their team to learn from mistakes and take risks. This allows team members to develop their own resilience, enhancing both individual and organizational performance.

Some strategies for developing resilience and persistence:

• Cultivate a growth mindset, embracing challenges and learning opportunities.
• Focus on long-term goals while remaining flexible in their approach.
• Encourage innovation and risk-taking within the team.
• Practice patience and maintain a positive attitude during difficult times.

Delegation and Empowerment

A good leader knows the importance of delegation and empowering their team members. Delegation is the process of assigning tasks to individuals or groups, which allows the leader to focus on higher-priority tasks while maximizing the potential of the team. Empowerment, on the other hand, is the process of allowing employees to take charge of their work and feel a sense of ownership and control over their tasks.

Delegation and empowerment go hand in hand because when leaders empower their team members by entrusting them with responsibilities, they delegate important tasks effectively. This results in increased productivity and a more efficient team dynamic.

For example, consider a project manager leading a team of software developers. Instead of micromanaging every aspect of the project, the project manager can delegate tasks such as coding, testing, and documentation to their team members. Moreover, they can empower the team by allowing them to make decisions on how they will approach the work and solve any problems they encounter.

Some benefits of delegation and empowerment include:

• Higher productivity
• Improved job satisfaction
• Better retention rates
• Increased creativity and innovation

It is important to note, however, that delegation and empowerment can be successful only when team members are given clear expectations, the necessary tools, and the support they need to accomplish their tasks.

Collaboration and Teamwork

A good leader understands the importance of collaboration and teamwork. They foster an environment where team members can work together effectively and efficiently.

Some key aspects that a leader can focus on to create a collaborative environment include:

• Communicating openly: Encouraging open communication within the team allows for the free flow of ideas and helps in addressing any concerns or roadblocks.
• Setting goals together: Involving team members in the goal-setting process ensures everyone’s on the same page regarding objectives and expectations.
• Valuing individual strengths: Recognizing and utilizing the unique skills of each team member maximizes their potential, contributing to overall team success.

Creativity and Innovation

A good leader displays creativity and innovation in their problem-solving approach. They are not afraid to think outside the box and come up with unique solutions that might not be considered by others.

For example, when faced with a difficult situation, a creative leader may brainstorm with their team to identify possible unconventional solutions that can address the challenge effectively. By encouraging open communication and collaboration, they create an environment where team members feel comfortable sharing their own ideas and perspectives.

Creativity and innovation in a leader are crucial for staying ahead in today’s fast-paced business environment. Companies that embrace new technologies or develop innovative products and services are more likely to succeed in an increasingly competitive market.

A good leader also invests in their team’s growth, fostering a culture of learning and personal development. This can be achieved through:

• Offering training opportunities
• Encouraging participation in industry events and conferences
• Establishing mentorships or cross-functional teams to gain diverse perspectives
• Providing access to resources and tools that support creative thinking and innovation

Self-Reflection and Continuous Improvement

A good leader values self-reflection and continuous improvement. This means they regularly assess their strengths and weaknesses and strive to grow and develop in their role. Through self-awareness, leaders can identify areas for growth and work on enhancing their skills.

One way good leaders practice self-reflection is by setting aside time for introspection, whether through journaling or quiet contemplation. They may also seek feedback from colleagues, mentors, or team members to gain insights into how they can improve.

Continuous improvement is also essential for a leader’s success. To foster a growth mindset, leaders might engage in the following activities:

• Establishing personal development goals and creating an action plan to achieve them.
• Attending workshops, seminars, or conferences to expand their knowledge and skills.
• Reading books, articles, or blogs related to their industry or leadership in general.
• Networking with other professionals to learn about best practices and emerging trends.

In addition to their own growth, leaders should also promote a culture of learning and development within their team.

Related: How to Cultivate Self-Awareness (10 Tips)

Inclusivity and Cultural Sensitivity

Inclusivity and cultural sensitivity are vital qualities of a good leader. A leader who embraces these values creates an environment where everyone feels valued and respected, promoting a culture of belonging and collaboration.

An effective leader cultivates inclusivity by actively seeking and valuing diverse perspectives. This involves being open to understanding different cultural and social backgrounds and recognizing the inherent worth of all individuals, regardless of race, religion, gender, age, or socioeconomic status.

Emphasizing cultural sensitivity, they educate themselves about the histories, traditions, and customs of various cultural groups. By doing so, they can better appreciate and address any potential biases or prejudices they or their team may have, fostering a more inclusive culture.

There are several ways to promote inclusivity and cultural sensitivity:

• Encourage open communication: Establish a safe space where team members can express their thoughts, questions, and concerns without fear of judgment.
• Provide trainings and resources: Offer workshops, seminars, or materials that educate employees about diversity, equity, and inclusion.
• Collaborate with diverse groups: Partner with organizations representing different cultural communities, to broaden learning and engagement opportunities.

Learn more: Diversity & Inclusion in the Workplace (16 Best Initiatives and Strategies)

• Emotional Intelligence (EQ) in Leadership [Examples, Tips]
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• What Is Visionary Leadership? 7 Traits of a Visionary Leader
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• 20+ Core Values: Examples for Travel and Accommodation Companies

Ideas and insights from Harvard Business Publishing Corporate Learning

Powerful and Effective Presentation Skills: More in Demand Now Than Ever

When we talk with our L&D colleagues from around the globe, we often hear that presentation skills training is one of the top opportunities they’re looking to provide their learners. And this holds true whether their learners are individual contributors, people managers, or senior leaders. This is not surprising.

Effective communications skills are a powerful career activator, and most of us are called upon to communicate in some type of formal presentation mode at some point along the way.

For instance, you might be asked to brief management on market research results, walk your team through a new process, lay out the new budget, or explain a new product to a client or prospect. Or you may want to build support for a new idea, bring a new employee into the fold, or even just present your achievements to your manager during your performance review.

And now, with so many employees working from home or in hybrid mode, and business travel in decline, there’s a growing need to find new ways to make effective presentations when the audience may be fully virtual or a combination of in person and remote attendees.

Whether you’re making a standup presentation to a large live audience, or a sit-down one-on-one, whether you’re delivering your presentation face to face or virtually, solid presentation skills matter.

Even the most seasoned and accomplished presenters may need to fine-tune or update their skills. Expectations have changed over the last decade or so. Yesterday’s PowerPoint which primarily relied on bulleted points, broken up by the occasional clip-art image, won’t cut it with today’s audience.

The digital revolution has revolutionized the way people want to receive information. People expect presentations that are more visually interesting. They expect to see data, metrics that support assertions. And now, with so many previously in-person meetings occurring virtually, there’s an entirely new level of technical preparedness required.

The leadership development tools and the individual learning opportunities you’re providing should include presentation skills training that covers both the evergreen fundamentals and the up-to-date capabilities that can make or break a presentation.

So, just what should be included in solid presentation skills training? Here’s what I think.

The fundamentals will always apply When it comes to making a powerful and effective presentation, the fundamentals will always apply. You need to understand your objective. Is it strictly to convey information, so that your audience’s knowledge is increased? Is it to persuade your audience to take some action? Is it to convince people to support your idea? Once you understand what your objective is, you need to define your central message. There may be a lot of things you want to share with your audience during your presentation, but find – and stick with – the core, the most important point you want them to walk away with. And make sure that your message is clear and compelling.

You also need to tailor your presentation to your audience. Who are they and what might they be expecting? Say you’re giving a product pitch to a client. A technical team may be interested in a lot of nitty-gritty product detail. The business side will no doubt be more interested in what returns they can expect on their investment.

Another consideration is the setting: is this a formal presentation to a large audience with questions reserved for the end, or a presentation in a smaller setting where there’s the possibility for conversation throughout? Is your presentation virtual or in-person? To be delivered individually or as a group? What time of the day will you be speaking? Will there be others speaking before you and might that impact how your message will be received?

Once these fundamentals are established, you’re in building mode. What are the specific points you want to share that will help you best meet your objective and get across your core message? Now figure out how to convey those points in the clearest, most straightforward, and succinct way. This doesn’t mean that your presentation has to be a series of clipped bullet points. No one wants to sit through a presentation in which the presenter reads through what’s on the slide. You can get your points across using stories, fact, diagrams, videos, props, and other types of media.

Visual design matters While you don’t want to clutter up your presentation with too many visual elements that don’t serve your objective and can be distracting, using a variety of visual formats to convey your core message will make your presentation more memorable than slides filled with text. A couple of tips: avoid images that are cliched and overdone. Be careful not to mix up too many different types of images. If you’re using photos, stick with photos. If you’re using drawn images, keep the style consistent. When data are presented, stay consistent with colors and fonts from one type of chart to the next. Keep things clear and simple, using data to support key points without overwhelming your audience with too much information. And don’t assume that your audience is composed of statisticians (unless, of course, it is).

When presenting qualitative data, brief videos provide a way to engage your audience and create emotional connection and impact. Word clouds are another way to get qualitative data across.

Practice makes perfect You’ve pulled together a perfect presentation. But it likely won’t be perfect unless it’s well delivered. So don’t forget to practice your presentation ahead of time. Pro tip: record yourself as you practice out loud. This will force you to think through what you’re going to say for each element of your presentation. And watching your recording will help you identify your mistakes—such as fidgeting, using too many fillers (such as “umm,” or “like”), or speaking too fast.

A key element of your preparation should involve anticipating any technical difficulties. If you’ve embedded videos, make sure they work. If you’re presenting virtually, make sure that the lighting is good, and that your speaker and camera are working. Whether presenting in person or virtually, get there early enough to work out any technical glitches before your presentation is scheduled to begin. Few things are a bigger audience turn-off than sitting there watching the presenter struggle with the delivery mechanisms!

Finally, be kind to yourself. Despite thorough preparation and practice, sometimes, things go wrong, and you need to recover in the moment, adapt, and carry on. It’s unlikely that you’ll have caused any lasting damage and the important thing is to learn from your experience, so your next presentation is stronger.

How are you providing presentation skills training for your learners?

Manika Gandhi is Senior Learning Design Manager at Harvard Business Publishing Corporate Learning. Email her at [email protected] .

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• Published July 3, 2024
• 9 Minute Read

12 Essential Qualities of Effective Leadership

Leaders shape our teams, organizations, communities, and world.

We need good leaders to help guide us and make the essential decisions, big and small, that keep things moving forward.

Our society is usually quick to identify a bad leader, but how can you identify a good one? What would most people say are the qualities of a good leader?

What Good Leadership Looks Like

Based upon our decades of research and experience working with leaders at thousands of organizations around the world, we’ve found that the best leaders consistently possess certain fundamental qualities and skills. Here are 12 essential leadership traits.

• Self-Awareness
• Communication
• Learning Agility
• Collaboration

1. Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the understanding of yourself, including personality traits, behaviors, anxieties, and emotions. While this is a more inwardly focused trait, self-awareness and humility are paramount qualities of leadership. The better you understand yourself and recognize your own strengths and weaknesses, the more effective you can be as a leader. Do you know how other people view you and understand how you show up at work and at home? Take the time to learn about the 4 aspects of self-awareness and how to strengthen each component.

Respect, when demonstrated consistently, is one of the most important things a leader can do. It helps ease tensions and conflict, fosters trust, and improves your effectiveness. Creating a culture of respect  is about more than just the absence of disrespect. Respectfulness can be shown in many different ways, but it often starts with showing you truly value others’ perspectives and making an effort to build belonging in the workplace — both critical components of supporting equity, diversity, and inclusion.

3. Compassion

Compassion is more than simply showing empathy or even listening and seeking to understand. Compassion requires leaders to act on what they learn. After someone shares a concern or speaks up about something, they won’t feel truly heard if their leader doesn’t then take some type of meaningful action on the information, our researchers have found. This is the core of compassionate leadership , and it helps to build trust, increase collaboration, and decrease turnover across organizations.

Vision is your aspiration for the future. Motivating others and garnering commitment toward that vision are essential parts of leadership. Purpose-driven leaders ensure they connect their team’s daily tasks and the values of individual team members to the overall direction of the organization. This can help employees find meaning in their work — which increases engagement, inspires trust, and drives priorities forward. You’ll want to communicate the vision in ways that help others understand it, remember it, and go on to share it themselves.

5. Communication

Communication shows up in many ways, from transmitting information and storytelling to soliciting input and using active listening techniques . Effective leadership and effective communication are intertwined . The best leaders are skilled communicators who can communicate in a variety of ways, both orally and in writing, and with a wide range of people from different backgrounds, roles, levels, geographies, and more. The quality and effectiveness of communication among leaders at your organization will directly affect the success of your business strategy, too.

6. Learning Agility

Learning agility is the ability to know what to do when you don’t know what to do. If you’re a “quick study” or are able to excel in unfamiliar circumstances, you might already be learning agile. But anybody can foster and increase learning agility through intentional practice and effort. After all, great leaders are really great learners.

7. Collaboration

Collaboration is a characteristic shown when leaders work effectively with a variety of colleagues of different social identities , locations, roles, and experiences. As the world has become more complex and interconnected, good leaders find themselves spanning boundaries and learning to work across various types of divides and organizational silos. When leaders value and embrace collaboration, whether within their teams or cross-functionally, several benefits arise — including increased innovation, higher-performing teams, and a more engaged and empowered workforce.

8. Influence

Influence, or being able to persuade people through thoughtful use of appropriate influencing tactics , is an important trait of inspiring, effective leaders. For some people, “influence” may sound unseemly. But as a leader, you must be able to influence others to get the work done — you cannot do it all alone. Influence is quite different from manipulation, and it needs to be done authentically and transparently. It requires high levels of emotional intelligence and trust.

9. Integrity

Integrity is being consistent, honest, moral, and trustworthy, and it’s an essential leadership trait for the individual and the organization. It’s especially important for top-level executives who are charting the organization’s course and making countless other significant decisions. Our research has found that leader integrity is a potential blind spot for organizations , so make sure you reinforce the importance of honesty and integrity to managers at all levels.

10. Courage

Courage enables both team members and leaders to take bold actions that move things in the right direction. It can be hard to speak up at work, whether you want to voice a new idea, provide feedback to a direct report, or flag a concern for someone above you. That’s part of the reason courage is a key leadership trait — it takes courage to do what’s right! Leaders who promote high levels of psychological safety in the workplace enable their people to speak up freely and share candid concerns without fear of repercussions. This fosters a  coaching culture that supports courage and truth-telling .

11. Gratitude

Gratitude is the uplifting emotion experienced after receiving something of value. Being thankful can lead to higher self-esteem, reduced depression and anxiety, and better sleep. Sincere gratitude can even make you a better leader. Yet few people regularly say “thank you” in work settings, even though most people say they’d be willing to work harder for an appreciative boss. The best leaders know how to show frequent gratitude in the workplace .

12. Resilience

Resilience is more than the ability to bounce back from obstacles and setbacks — it’s the ability to respond adaptively to challenges. Practicing resilient leadership means you’ll project a positive outlook that will help others maintain the emotional strength they need to commit to a shared vision, and the courage to move forward and overcome setbacks. A good leader focuses on resilience, both taking care of themselves and also prioritizing leading employee wellbeing , too — thereby enabling better performance for themselves and their teams.

Download a PDF action guide and summary of these characteristics of a good leader, so you always have a visual reminder available of these 12 qualities of good leadership.

3 Core Truths About Characteristics of Good Leadership

At the Center for Creative Leadership (CCL)®, we’ve been researching the traits of a good leader and the role of leadership for nearly 6 decades. Here are 3 of our core tenets about good leaders and effective leadership.

Good leaders are made, not born.

First, we believe that leaders are made, not born. Put another way, leadership is a skill that can be developed . Good leaders are molded through experience, continued study, intentional effort, and adaptation. So you can strengthen any of these 12 characteristics of a good leader, if you’re open to growth, use your experiences to fuel development , and put in the time and effort toward self-improvement.

Similarly, organizations can help their people hone these top leadership qualities by providing ample opportunities for training, offering support for learning from challenges, and providing access to coaching and mentoring programs .

Leadership is a social process.

It’s also essential to recognize that  leadership is less about one strong or charismatic individual, and more about a group of people working collectively to achieve results together . If you demonstrate several of the characteristics of a good leader, but fail to grasp this key point, chances are you won’t get very far on your own. You may be well-liked and respected, but it will be challenging to accomplish team or organizational goals. At CCL, we like to say that the  outcomes of leadership are about creating direction, alignment, and commitment, or DAC , within a group.

Good leadership never stops.

Also, we believe that leadership isn’t a destination, it’s a journey — it’s something that you’ll have to work at regularly throughout your career, regardless of what level you reach in your organization or what industry you work in. Different teams, projects, and situations will provide different challenges and require different leadership qualities and competencies to succeed. So you will need to be able to continue to apply these leadership characteristics in different ways throughout your career. Just continually keep learning and growing, and you’ll be an agile learner with a long career .

How to Develop and Nurture the Qualities of a Good Leader

Organizations can strengthen leadership qualities and foster deeper levels of engagement at work through providing a variety of on-the-job learning experiences, mentoring, and formal development opportunities. At CCL, we have many award-winning leadership solutions with clients around the world, and we’d be honored to work with you and your organization as well.

But individuals don’t have to wait to begin strengthening these leadership characteristics within themselves. If you decide you want to work proactively on developing your leadership qualities and skills,  download our action guide & visual summary  of this content. And get our tips on how to  convince your boss to make an investment in you  and your future. We’re here to support you every step of the way on your journey to becoming a better leader!

Ready to Take the Next Step?

After you download the 12 Characteristics of a Good Leader , keep on learning and growing: never miss our exclusive leadership insights and tips — subscribe to our newsletters to get our research-based articles, webinars, resources, and guides delivered straight to your inbox. 

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Based on Research by

With over a decade of experience in education, Micela provides internal research and evaluation support to build our capacity as a provider of evidence-based leadership solutions in the field of education. She is particularly interested in youth leadership development, using research and evaluation to help improve program implementation, and the role of trust as a critical ingredient for organizational change. She has also co-authored 2 books on youth leadership development: Social-Emotional Leadership: A Guide for Youth Development and Building Bridges: Leadership for You and Me .

Stephanie is a researcher with a background in developmental and educational psychology. Her research at CCL focused primarily on promoting equitable and inclusive organizational cultures, exploring collective leadership through networks, and enhancing motivation and empowerment for leaders across their professional journeys.

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What to explore next.

With over 30 pages of insights gleaned from our research, this collection of resources includes actionable tips and team discussion questions to help you become a (better) leader with a focus on compassion, wellbeing, and belonging.

This introduction to our leadership philosophy explains how direction, alignment, and commitment (the elements of our DAC framework) are key in how leadership works, connecting exponential potential with collective progress.

Do you know how and why communication is so important for leaders? Get our top research-based tips for more effective leadership communication.

Want to set yourself apart as a leader? Arm yourself with these 6 essential skills. Our global research study found that organizations will need these 6 key qualities that their leaders presently lack.

Stepping into a management role requires a fundamental shift of identity. Learn how to be an effective boss and succeed in your new role with our leadership tips for first-time managers.

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Learn more about our flagship Leadership Development Program (LDP)®, the most widely known and longest-running leadership development training in the world.

Professional leadership coaching deepens and sustains leadership development. Learn more about our world-class leadership coaching services.

Learn more about our leadership training courses, which are targeted to develop the skills leaders need to succeed at all levels of your organization.

At the Center for Creative Leadership, our drive to create a ripple effect of positive change underpins everything we do. For 50+ years, we've pioneered leadership development solutions for everyone from frontline workers to global CEOs. Consistently ranked among the world's top providers of executive education, our research-based programs and solutions inspire individuals in organizations across the world — including 2/3 of the Fortune 1000 — to ignite remarkable transformations.

7 Leadership Qualities All Effective Leaders Share

Leaders come in many forms, whether you’re an ambitious, chin-up, speeches-at-the-podium kind of leader, or an unassuming, humble, and reluctant leader . If people are drawn to you, believe in you, and want to help you fulfill your purpose because it has become their purpose, too, you possess some of the most effective leadership qualities. 

If you have a purpose that’s communicated honestly, and live with values that are clear to the people around you, you’re already acting as an influential leader. A great leader has strong communication skills , the ability to motivate and inspire others, good decision-making abilities, and a clear purpose and vision for the future. Leaders also display integrity, empathy, and the ability to build and maintain positive relationships. 

What Are the Traits of a Good Leader?

7 of the most important leadership qualities , 1. acts as a servant leader.

Servant leaders humbly serve the needs of their clients, employees, mentees, and community—creating an infinite cycle of positive influence that develops more servant leaders. They drop self-interests and determine success by how many lives they’ve changed for the better . 

While the concept of servant leadership is timeless, dating back to humble leaders such as Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., and Mother Teresa, the term “servant leadership” was coined by Robert K. Greenleaf in a 1970 essay entitled The Servant as Leader . In his essay , Greenleaf explains that the highest priority of servant leaders is making sure that other people’s needs are being served, and in doing so, those served become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, and more likely to become leaders themselves. 

2. Leads With Purpose

To vocalize your purpose clearly and gain followers, define your vision, or mental picture of what could be when you put in the passion and work. A life vision will fire you up to take action, allowing you to lead by example and inspire the people around you to get involved, too. 

3. Establishes Ethical Behavior

Additionally, ethical leaders make decisions using a strong moral compass , leading to actions that are in the best interest of the entire team, plus customers, stakeholders, and the community at large. 

4. Solves Complex Problems

The most effective leaders are able to analyze situations, identify the root causes of problems, and develop effective solutions that are implemented smoothly. Leaders must also anticipate and mitigate potential problems before they occur and lead their teams in a strategic manner. 

5. Communicates Effectively

Today, company leaders are in charge of engaging with employees, customers, and stakeholders across new digital platforms. A missed opportunity can cause giant losses, and hinder workplace engagement and productivity, too. 

Clear and efficient communication is an impactful leadership quality because it ensures that tasks are completed correctly and on time. It also promotes better understanding and cooperation among team members and helps identify and resolve issues before they escalate into major conflicts. 

6. Normalizes Vulnerability

Vulnerability is an important leadership quality because it allows for a more authentic and transparent relationship with team members, which fosters trust and open communication. Being vulnerable helps a leader connect with people on a deeper level , and understand the perspectives and needs of their employees, customers, and community members.

7. Commits to Life-Long Learning 

Simon Sinek says that great leaders are constantly seeking more information about how to be effective and grow within their roles . “If you choose this lifestyle, you have to become a student. I’ve never met a great leader who thinks of themselves as an expert,” he describes in an interview .

Leadership Qualities Are Learned Over Time

Research suggests that most leadership qualities are learned over time , and with a growth mindset and dedication to personal development, people can be molded into great leaders . 

To be a great leader, learn something new about your profession and yourself every day. Read books, listen to podcasts and lectures, observe how other leaders handle challenges and daily interactions—be a perpetual student. 

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Qualities of a leader: 17 traits of effective leadership

Leaders aren’t just born that way. Most develop and hone skills ‌anyone can learn. These 17 traits are the core leadership qualities to develop if you want to become a better leader, both personally and professionally. In this article, you’ll learn what these leadership qualities are and how you can implement them in your own life.

If you’re looking to expand your leadership style and skills, you’re in luck. By demonstrating these important leadership qualities, you too can become an effective leader that inspires change.We’ve put together a list of the 17 most effective qualities in a leader. By learning traits like strategic problem-solving and active listening, you too can inspire those around you. 

1. Empowers team members

Empowering others should be one of your most important objectives as a leader. Your job is to help your team learn and succeed. That starts with daily motivation, relationship building, showing respect, and co-creating solutions to problems when they arise. 

Teams should feel empowered by your confidence in them and industry know-how. When they’re empowered, great work can be created. You can foster team empowerment by:

Encouraging team members to take on new challenges

Motivating your team to get back up when things go wrong 

Being a kind but honest communicator

When your whole team is empowered, individuals can shine in their roles and contribute their expertise to shared success.

When everyone on a team is empowered and trusted to manifest their full potential, each person becomes capable of so much more, which makes the company capable of so much more. Our experience is that, with the right team, distributed authority results in organizations that are happier and more effective in accomplishing their most ambitious missions.”

A leader's guide to change management

Learn how to be the leader your team needs during times of change. Get tips on when to set new business objectives, how to communicate transparently, and how to keep employees engaged.

2. Focuses on team development

Sharing your wealth of knowledge is just one of the many traits of strong leadership. A good leader not only develops themself but also helps others grow. This could be in the form of trainings, lunch and learns, or even co-creating solutions to problems with team members. 

Not only does it help those around you continue growing their careers, but it can teach you things along the way as well. You can work on developing others by:

Paying attention to what team members want to learn

Using mistakes as teachable moments

Giving constructive criticism even when it’s hard

The important thing to remember is to encourage and train others the way you wish you had been in your career.

3. Communicates effectively

Communication is a key piece of any successful team, especially as it pertains to great leadership skills. There is a fine line between too little and too much, but it’s always better to err on the side of too much. A lack of good communication skills can result in poor performance or lack of organizational clarity.

Your communication also needs to be effective, meaning it’s delivered in a direct yet personal way. This includes communicating about projects, as well as connecting as a team. You can work on your communication skills by:

Asking your team for feedback

Listening before speaking

Answering questions directly

Tailoring your message to your audience

The best part: effective communication skills can easily be taught and learned.

While working remotely, we’ve had to re-learn how to communicate in many ways. Slack, Asana, and integrations between these tools has replaced or supplemented a lot of in-person ways we used to communicate.”

4. Shows high emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to control and express your emotions, as well as handle interpersonal relationships. Why is that so important in the workplace? 

Strong leaders inspire and guide others rather than direct. This means it’s crucial to be empathetic toward teammates so they feel comfortable and open around you. You can work on your emotional intelligence by:

Considering how your team members may be feeling

Examining how your words or actions might affect others

Holding space for how others may feel about a situation 

Responding versus reacting to a conflict or difficult situation  

When in doubt, it’s okay to ask teammates how they’re feeling. A simple “How are you today?” can go a long way.

5. Possesses problem-solving skills

Of all the essential leadership qualities, having problem-solving skills is one of the most important. Team members will likely come to you about problems that need solving. It’s your job to be prepared with strategic advice for whatever comes your way. 

This doesn’t mean you need to have all the answers all the time. Instead, you should be prepared with resources that can empower your team to resolve the problem on their own. You can work on your problem-solving skills by:

Backing your advice up with data or an experience

Asking questions that lead your teammates down the right path

Providing multiple solutions for your team to try out 

Being an active listener to gain clarity 

In short, you don’t need to have all of the answers. You just need to give guidance. Letting a decision linger for too long is draining, so don’t let perfectionism keep you from providing input.

6. Respects others

Respect is something everyone deserves—whether you have 30 years of professional experience or three. Showing others respect can help create a healthy team dynamic based on mutual respect. 

While respect comes from a variety of sources, it’s important to begin by treating everyone as equals. Additional ways you can work on showing respect are by:

Communicating with team members as equals regardless of position

Listen to someone else’s perspective even if you disagree

Give recognition for a job well done

Have a positive attitude

Good leaders know that positivity and respect go a long way. A good rule of thumb is to acknowledge that everyone is a partner in what you’re trying to accomplish.

As a leader, I know it’s my responsibility to set the tone for our company culture.”

7. Prioritizes personal development

Personal development is an important part of career growth no matter where you are in your professional journey. Developing your skills can help you lead better and, by default, help your team feel secure in their work.

It’s also a good idea to have regular checkpoints for self-reflection. Where are you in your personal development journey, and how does that connect to the good of your organization? This can help both your personal and professional growth. You can improve your personal development by:

Attending industry-relevant conferences

Taking courses

Collaborating with other departments 

Pursuing personal development will help you network with like-minded individuals and bring new, high-impact ideas to the table.

8. Encourages strategic thinking

Leaders are constantly looking for ways to keep their team and organization moving forward. This can be anything from internal processes like roadmaps and technological advancements to external factors like SWOT analyses and product offerings.

From brainstorming techniques to prioritizing project tasks, a good leader motivates their team members to think strategically as well. You can practice strategic management by:

Listening to all ideas, whether you agree with them or not

Hosting team brainstorming sessions

Giving feedback that is backed by data 

Letting your team carry out their ideas and learn from mistakes 

Thinking strategically is important for both your own self-awareness and your team, so make it a priority to encourage new ideas.

It’s harder for remote teams to get recognized for their work—out of sight, out of mind, unfortunately. Be really deliberate about finding opportunities for your remote teams to present at company- or team-wide events (such as an all hands meeting) and make sure you’re looking for ways to get them visibility via team awards or shoutouts.”

9. Actively listens

Being a leader means listening more than speaking. It’s your job to pay attention to organizational problems and your team members’ thoughts in order to become a changemaker. 

It’s also important to listen to those around you to show respect and empathy. You can work on active listening by:

Giving team members full attention when they come to you with input or feedback

Asking questions before speaking your mind

Scheduling recurring times to check in with the team 

Attending meetings that your team leads  

Being a listener is an important, yet often overlooked, part of being a leader. Finding the right balance of inspiring with your words and inspiring with your ears is the difference between a good and great leader.

10. Delegates work

Most of us have had first-hand experience overcoming the challenge of delegating work. There’s a fine line between letting your team take on additional responsibilities and letting them take all the responsibility. 

A good leader knows that delegating work can help grow their team’s skill set and keep projects moving forward. After all, you can’t do everything all the time. Rely on your team and they’ll do the same for you. 

You can work on better delegating work by:

Asking your team members what projects they want to work on

Providing an outline or brief if the project is complex 

Giving honest feedback that improves work and skills 

Fostering time management skills to get work done on time

Not delegating enough is bad for both leaders and team members who could be growing with more autonomy . Your first instinct might be to get involved when work isn’t up to your standards, but it’s important to let your team members learn from their own mistakes.

I think of teamwork as a ship moving through an unlimited ice sheet. In this metaphor, the ship is the team, the ice represents possible problems to be solved, and the destination is always out of sight and unclear. It’s a manager’s job to figure out what to do with the ice we break—where to put it, how it impacts the plan and team, etc. It’s a leader’s job to clarify the ship’s direction and why it’s worth breaking all of this ice to get there.”

11. Takes accountability

While it’s necessary to let your team take ownership of projects, that doesn’t mean you’ve given up all accountability for their work. It’s important to support your team by taking accountability when things don’t go as planned.  

The biggest thing to keep in mind is that goals won’t be met all the time. Not meeting expectations provides opportunities for growth—both personal growth and for your organization. 

You can work on taking accountability by:

Taking action when goals aren’t met and providing solutions

Explaining where expectations weren’t met and why

Regularly monitoring the progress of key initiatives 

Taking accountability means owning up to things that could have gone better and working on problem solving with your team. Remember, we’re all in this together and a growth mindset can help you and your team learn from mistakes.

12. Shows deep passion for their work

The most successful leaders are the ones who are passionate about what they do. To put it simply, an executive role doesn’t make you a leader. Your knowledge, passion, and teamwork are what make you a leader. 

True leaders are the ones who motivate you to do better—even in the face of big challenges—pave the way for you to do great work. 

It’s this passion that sets a leader apart from an executive. Without it, it’s hard to be the best leader you can be. Leaders who are passionate about their work are likely to answer "yes" to the following questions:

Are you excited about your role and responsibilities?

Do you get energized about new projects?

Does motivating people give you a sense of accomplishment?

Are you working for something you believe in?

Reflecting on your passion for your work can help you connect with what truly energizes you and be a better leader in the long run. Additionally, it’s important that everyone on your team shares a common purpose and a clear understanding of why they’re doing what they’re doing.

For me, a leader is someone who helps you understand the Big Picture. What's the vision for the team, and how does that vision connect to a broader set of organizational objectives and mission? A manager is the person who gives you the support and mentorship needed to make an impact in your role and help make that Big Picture a reality. Sometimes the same person will occupy both roles within a team. Sometimes it's multiple people. But both roles are important for the success of any team.”

13. Is a visionary

A visionary is a rather broadly defined term, though you tend to know it when you see it. Visionaries can see the end result before anything tangible has been created. This is why business owners and entrepreneurs tend to be visionaries. They can see a good idea come to fruition before anything has been created. 

Though not everyone is a visionary, you can still practice visionary leadership to motivate your team. Regularly challenge yourself to visualize the future by:

Imagining what your team will accomplish in a year

Facilitating brainstorming and connecting ideas

Motivating others to challenge their thinking

14. Cares about others

Caring about others is different from respecting others. The biggest difference is showing you care versus saying you care. Both respect and care are needed for building trust and empowerment on your team. 

To inspire others, it’s important to invest in them and their career path. Without that personal connection, guidance can feel more like a directive. You can work on creating that personal connection by:

Connecting with team members about more than just work

Asking your team members about their professional goals and interests 

Being an empathetic listener 

Participating in team building games

Creating personal connections with your teammates can empower your working relationships. It can even help cultivate good communication within teams, strengthening overall collaboration.

To me, being a leader is about the ability to influence, coach, mentor, and guide others toward an achievement. Leaders provide vision, and their success is defined by the team—not themselves.”

15. Stays up-to-date on trends

These days, you have to be tech-savvy and stay up to date with new trends to deliver innovative results. From new software capabilities like business process automation to AI and more, staying ahead of the curve separates a good team from a great one. 

The best part about following industry trends is that there is an abundance of training and information out there. So if you’re not in the tech-savvy bucket just yet, here are some ways you can improve your knowledge base:

Dedicate time each week to learning something new

Follow technology leaders for industry trends

Attend conferences and networking events

Connect with a mentor who can teach you

Build a knowledge base with best practices and related resources

Due to the ever-evolving nature of trends, it’s good to practice these tips even if you’re skilled in your field. That way you can continue to share innovative ideas that grow your organization to new heights. 

16. Is adaptable

When you’re in a leadership position, you’re the first to know about challenges. You’re also expected to be one of the first to respond. But your response should be logical and thoughtful, not impulsive or based on emotion. This isn’t easy to do. Our natural reaction is often to feel stressed or worried in the face of problems. To build a better response system, practice workplace adaptability.

Building better adaptability in the workplace will help you react quickly to inevitable changes. To build it, you can:

Learn to embrace change

Practice mindfulness

Take risks and move beyond your comfort zone

Improve your problem-solving skills

Becoming more adaptable will help you be more comfortable in the face of change. When issues come up, others will look to you for guidance and leadership.

17. Stays open-minded

Open-mindedness helps you to see things from different perspectives. Like all good leadership qualities, becoming open-minded doesn’t always come naturally. It’s hard to view situations or team members without our own unconscious biases getting in the way. But open-mindedness can be developed over time. 

Create a more open mind in any scenario by asking this, not that:

“What are the facts?” vs. “What do I think?”

“What am I missing?” vs. “What do I see?”

“Is there more to this story?” vs. “Can I develop the story?”

“Who is impacted?” vs. “How am I impacted?”

By including all potential stakeholders from every vantage point, you’ll be able to see a bigger picture. This will help you to create a more open mind that shows others you’re always willing to see their point of view.

Leading your team to success

By honing the qualities of a good leader, you too can learn how to lead effectively and motivate your team to do their very best work. By working on leadership development and improving each of these 17 leadership traits, you’re not only cultivating leadership qualities and working to continuously improve your own skills, you’re also increasing your impact on your organization. 

For more ideas on how to effectively lead a team, find out if work management software is right for you. 

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More From Forbes

How to prove you're a good leader on your cv.

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In the competitive job market, showcasing leadership skills on your CV can set you apart as a senior professional, and understanding how to present your leadership qualities effectively can make a significant difference.

Here’s 5 ways you can prove you're a good leader on your CV.

Highlight leadership roles and achievements

To demonstrate your leadership capabilities, it's essential to highlight specific roles where you have led teams or projects.

Begin by identifying positions where you held leadership responsibilities and describe your achievements in these roles.

For instance, instead of simply stating that you were a "Project Manager", elaborate on your accomplishments such as "Led a cross-functional team of 15 in delivering a £2 million project on time and within budget."

Use quantifiable metrics to substantiate your achievements, showcasing the tangible impact of your leadership. Mention awards or recognitions received for your leadership, as these serve as external validations of your capabilities.

Emphasising your leadership roles and achievements provides concrete evidence of your ability to lead effectively.

Demonstrate effective communication

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Effective communication is a cornerstone of good leadership.

On your CV, illustrate how your communication skills have contributed to successful outcomes. This could be through examples of presentations to stakeholders, leading meetings, or managing conflict within your team.

Describe situations where your clear and concise communication facilitated project success or improved team dynamics. For example, "Presented quarterly business updates to the executive board, resulting in the approval of a £500,000 budget increase."

Highlighting your ability to convey ideas clearly and persuasively can reassure potential employers of your competence in managing and inspiring teams.

Additionally, showcasing any public speaking engagements or published articles can further underline your strong communication skills.

It’s also beneficial to note any multilingual abilities, as these can be advantageous in global or multicultural settings.

Proving you're a good leader on your CV involves more than just listing your job titles.

Showcase problem-solving and decision-making abilities

Leadership often involves making tough decisions and solving complex problems.

To illustrate these skills, include examples where your problem-solving and decision-making abilities have led to successful outcomes.

Describe scenarios where you identified issues, analysed options, and implemented effective solutions. For instance, "Resolved a major supply chain issue by developing a new logistics strategy, reducing delivery times by 20%."

This not only demonstrates your analytical skills but also your capacity to remain calm and decisive under pressure.

Providing specific examples of challenges faced and the strategies you employed to overcome them can vividly portray your problem-solving prowess and strategic thinking.

Additionally, emphasising your involvement in strategic planning sessions or your role in crisis management can further bolster your leadership credentials.

Provide evidence of team building and mentoring

A key aspect of leadership is the ability to build and nurture effective teams.

Highlight instances where you have successfully mentored colleagues or fostered a collaborative team environment.

Mention any structured mentoring programmes you initiated or participated in, and the positive outcomes of these efforts. For example, "Mentored five junior analysts, all of whom were promoted within a year due to improved performance."

Discuss how your leadership contributed to team success, such as improving morale, increasing productivity, or facilitating professional development.

Emphasising your role in team building and mentoring can demonstrate your commitment to developing others and your ability to lead by example.

Don’t forget to mention any team-building activities or initiatives you spearheaded that resulted in improved team cohesion and performance.

Emphasise adaptability and resilience

In today's dynamic work environment, adaptability and resilience are crucial leadership traits, and you should use your CV to showcase how you have navigated change and overcome adversity.

Provide examples of how you adapted to new challenges, whether through leading organisational change, managing crises, or transitioning to new technologies. For instance, "Led the transition to remote work during the pandemic, ensuring seamless operations and maintaining team productivity."

Highlighting your ability to remain resilient and effective in the face of setbacks can reassure potential employers of your capacity to handle future challenges.

Demonstrating adaptability and resilience underscores your preparedness to lead in an ever-evolving professional landscape.

Additionally, showcasing your continuous learning efforts, such as new certifications or skills acquired during challenging times, can further illustrate your proactive approach to leadership.

Proving you're a good leader on your CV involves more than just listing your job titles. It's about detailing your leadership experiences, showcasing your communication prowess, demonstrating your problem-solving skills, highlighting your team-building efforts, and emphasising your adaptability and resilience.

By weaving these elements into your CV, you can present a compelling narrative that portrays you as an effective and dynamic leader, ready to take on senior professional roles with confidence.

Remember, your CV is not just a document but a powerful tool to market yourself and your leadership capabilities to potential employers, and the next step to your dream role.

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5 Things That Great Parents and Great Leaders Have in Common

From communication to inspiration, do you have what it takes.

By Sanya Pelini, Ph.D.

Published on: august 23, 2024.

Raising successful kids comes down to a simple question: Do you want to be a leader or a boss? A boss manages things; a leader empowers, inspires, shows the way forward and makes it their business to connect with their employees every day.

Being a successful leader is tough. In the book “Speed: How Leaders Accelerate Successful Execution,” Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman published the results of a study they undertook of 300,000 business leaders. These development consultants wanted to identify the characteristics and qualities of good leaders. It turns out that good leaders and good parents share quite a number of similar qualities. Here are just a few of them.

1. Great leaders and great parents know that good relationships are built on clear communication.

In a 2015 Interact/Harris survey about the “Top Complaints from Employees About Their Leaders,” 91 percent of the respondents considered their leaders lacking in communication skills. Up to 57 percent of respondents felt that they rarely received clear directions about what was expected of them.

Communication is a key foundation of strong relationships. Zenger and Folkman found that effective leaders communicate clearly and regularly with their employees. The same can be said about effective parents. Several studies suggest that having clear and appropriate (neither too high nor too low) expectations of your child has a large impact on their behavioral and educational outcomes.

Here are five things you can do to improve parent-child communication:

• Clearly identify your expectations and share those with your child.
• Give clear and regular feedback, even when that feedback is negative, but avoid lectures.
• Be up front and honest in your communication with your child.
• Listen more than you talk. Show empathy and put yourself in your child’s shoes.
• Find time to connect every day.

2. Great parents and great leaders inspire.

Research has shown that anxious parents are more likely to raise anxious children, not necessarily because of genetic issues, but because of their display of anxious behavior. In other words, if a child sees their parent react anxiously to a given situation, they are likely to begin reacting anxiously to that situation themselves.

Great leaders inspire and motivate others, and so do great parents. We now know that children learn how to react to different situations by watching us. In other words, modeling the behavior that you want your child to display is the most effective way of inspiring them.

3. Great parents and great leaders are also great cheerleaders.

A great leader knows that their employees’ success is their success. They know that it is important for employees to believe that their leader is on their side. In the Interact/Harris survey on effective leadership mentioned earlier, 63 percent of the employees thought that leaders who did not recognize their achievements were ineffective leaders.

Just as employees need to have their achievements recognized, your child needs to know that you’ve noticed when they are doing a good job, even when — especially when — that progress is slow and painful.

Instead of simply praising your child, let them know exactly what they have done right. For example, “You’ve gotten so much better at reading since you began reading every day,” “You hardly made any mistakes — look how your music practice is paying off.” Over 30 years ago, Carol Dweck coined the term “growth mindset” after studying student attitudes toward failure. As Dweck’s research has shown, your child grows and develops when they feel like they have the power to change the events that happen in their lives. The more they feel capable of success, the higher the chances are that they will make an effort to achieve their goals.

4. Great parents and great leaders focus on building trust in their relationships.

Great leaders and great parents care about building relationships that are based on trust. As a parent, this is not only about being able to trust your child; he or she also needs to know that they can trust you and count on you.

Trust and accountability go together. Your child will make mistakes — all kids do — but allowing them to make amends when those mistakes happen shows your faith in them.

5. Great parents and great leaders never hover.

Great leaders do not micromanage their employees. They do not hover over them, watching their every move and waiting to catch them in the wrong.

In 1996, researchers David Bredehoft, Jean Illsley Clarke and Connie Dawson observed more than 3,500 children over several years. They wanted to know if it was possible to “overparent” and how overparenting affected children’s development. The researchers found that overindulgent parents regularly stepped in to solve their children’s problems and failed to hold them accountable for their mistakes. These parents were determined to make life easier for their kids at all costs.

In the book the researchers published, “How Much Is Too Much? Raising Likeable, Responsible, Respectful Children — From Toddlers to Teens — In an Age of Overindulgence,” they explain that doing too much for your children is bad for them. It can:

• Make them less confident in their ability to succeed.
• Decrease the likelihood that they will take up leadership roles and thus hamper them in developing problem-solving skills.
• Prevent them from reaching their full potential. As Bredehoft, Clarke and Dawson note, it can “hinder children from performing their needed developmental tasks, and from learning necessary life lessons.”

Clarke says that there are three types of overindulgence: doing too much for your child or giving them too many things; giving your child too much attention (i.e., you have a constant need to know where they are and what they are doing); and providing a soft structure, meaning that you do for them what they should be doing for themselves. Doing too much for your child harms you and it harms them.

Both great parents and great leaders know that without a strong relationship, none of their other efforts will matter. They know that strong relationships do not develop by themselves; they need nurturing to grow.

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About the author.

Sanya Pelini is a parent and researcher in education. She is passionate about child development issues and holds a Ph.D. in educational research. She transforms educational research into practical tools and resources on her blog Raising Independent Kids .

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Are You Ready to Be a Leader?

If you want to lead, ask yourself these questions first.

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What distinguishes a leader? How do you know if you’re ready to lead? And how do you make the transition into a leadership role?

The shift from being part of a team to leading one isn’t like flipping a switch. It’s a process, and it can be awkward. It can be especially difficult your identity differs from other leaders in your organization — for example, if you’re a young leader in an organization dominated by older leaders, or a woman in a male-dominated organization.

In this episode, two leadership coaches, Amy Su and Muriel Wilkins of Paravis Partners, explain how to develop a leadership presence that’s both authentic to you and resonates with others. You’ll also learn some deeper questions to ask yourself during your transition into leadership.

Key episode topics include: leadership, gender, authenticity, leadership presence, transitions, influencing others, leadership style, leadership journey.

HBR On Leadership curates the best case studies and conversations with the world’s top business and management experts, to help you unlock the best in those around you. New episodes every week.

• Listen to the original Women at Work episode: Seeing Ourselves as Leaders (2019)
• Find more episodes of Women at Work .
• Discover 100 years of Harvard Business Review articles, case studies, podcasts, and more at HBR.org .

HANNAH BATES: Welcome to HBR on Leadership , case studies and conversations with the world’s top business and management experts, hand-selected to help you unlock the best in those around you.

The shift from being part of a team to leading one isn’t like flipping a switch. It’s a process…and it can be awkward. Convincing other people that you can and should lead is hard enough. But how do you convince yourself?

And that can be especially difficult if none of your identity groups – whether gender, race, class, geography, or age – have helped to define the cultural norms of leadership.

No matter who you are, the transition into management can raise difficult questions. Today we bring you a conversation about what distinguishes a leader, how to know if you’re ready to be one, and how to make that transition – with the help of two leadership coaches: Amy Su and Muriel Wilkins of Paravis Partners.

In this episode, you’ll learn how to develop your leadership presence in a way that’s authentic to you and resonates with others.

You’ll also learn about the deeper questions you should ask yourself as a leader.

This episode originally aired on Women at Work in December 2019. Here it is.

AMY BERNSTEIN: I remember the first time I was really challenged to stop being, you know, a follower and be a leader. A colleague saw me in a context where I was supposed to be leading, and I evidently wasn’t because she came up to me afterwards and she said, what are you waiting for? Who are you waiting to say, and now Amy is the leader?

AMY GALLO: Right.

AMY BERNSTEIN: And you were, you were given every opportunity, and you just blew it.

AMY GALLO: Huh.

AMY BERNSTEIN: And she was so right. She was so right. I mean, I felt like crap when she said it. But you know, that prompted a lot of soul-searching.

AMY GALLO: And what did you do differently?

AMY BERNSTEIN: I looked for opportunities to steer and to offer guidance. And instead of asking a question, I would offer my view, here’s what I would recommend. It was really sort of a — I had to switch the channel from being, you know, I guess I viewed myself as just one of many people on the team to taking ownership and recognizing that if this thing we were working on failed, I would be the one to blame. And it was really like that self-generated thing, where you realize that it’s up to you to make it work.

AMY BERNSTEIN: You’re listening to Women at Work from Harvard Business Review. I’m Amy Bernstein.

AMY GALLO: I’m Amy Gallo.

NICOLE TORRES: And I’m Nicole Torres. Making the transition from being one of many on a team, an individual contributor, a follower — however you’d like to think of that role — to being a leader is a process. It’s a process of not just convincing other people to see us as leaders, but also of convincing ourselves that we can and should lead. This episode we are going to be exploring this process of becoming a leader, including the soul-searching that women in particular often have to do to get there. Our guests are experts on leadership development and friends of the show. You might remember Muriel Wilkins from our episode on visibility and Amy Su from our episode on claiming credit. They founded the executive coaching firm Paravis Partners and wrote a book together called Own the Room. And Amy Su just came out with a new book, The Leader You Want to Be.

AMY BERNSTEIN: I was away when this interview happened. So, Amy G. and Nicole will take it from here. I’ll be back later in the episode.

AMY GALLO: Amy and Muriel, thank you so much for joining us.

MURIEL WILKINS: Thank you.

AMY SU: It’s great to be here.

AMY GALLO: My very first question is, do you remember the first time that you were being seen as a leader — but like the moment you realized, Oh, actually other people see me as a leader?

MURIEL WILKINS: Hmm, that’s a great question. I have to think about that one for a little bit. It was my first supervisory job, which, looking back now, I was naively very young and thrusted into this role and having to supervise individuals who were far more experienced than I was. And while I knew that I was there as a supervisor and as a manager, I certainly didn’t see myself as a leader — but everybody else did. And it took a couple of big fails for me to step into the leadership role and recognize that it was much more than just making sure that people were doing what they were supposed to be doing. So, I do remember it. And now in hindsight probably a little bit more painfully than I’d like to.

AMY GALLO: How about you, Amy Su?

AMY SU: There was a day when I had really lost it on somebody who worked with me and you know, later when I debriefed with that person and you realized how much you were able to cause a bad day for somebody else. There’s just this moment that, wow, you know, perhaps I’m a leader now and my temperament and mood and state of being is actually going to impact the way others feel.

AMY GALLO: Right, that ripple effect. It sounds like for both of you it was not very positive and I think, you know, as we’ve been discussing this topic, we’ve talked about how it’s a bit like an awkward growth spurt to go from someone who’s an individual contributor focused on learning, absorbing, to someone who’s now seen as a leader. I’m curious if that’s how you think of it in your writing and your work with coaching clients. Is this sort of an awkward phase, an exciting phase? How do you characterize it?

MURIEL WILKINS: Yeah, yeah. I, you know, I never quite thought of it as awkward, but certainly an uncomfortable phase, which, as we all know, that’s where most of the growth happens. And it’s hard because on the one hand you want to go back to what you are comfortable with and what has made you successful up until now. And on the other hand, you know that you can step into the role that you’re currently in, the potential that you have. So certainly uncomfortable, can definitely be awkward. And at the same time, I think one of the inflection points that is really great for growth for anyone.

NICOLE TORRES: So, I see two challenges or two things that make this such an uncomfortable phase. And the first thing is like, do you see yourself as a leader? So kind of the stories you were describing when you’re placed into a position where you’re suddenly managing people, if you don’t think of yourself as a leader, you kind of have to get into that mindset and realize that your behaviors are going to be interpreted differently because you’re a leader and because you’re managing people. But then the other challenge is if you see yourself as a leader, but other people do not. So maybe you’ve stepped into a managerial role or maybe you’re leading a project and you see yourself as being the one making decisions, but you don’t necessarily feel like other people perceive you as that leader. Do you see those two challenges play out?

AMY SU: Nicole, I think, you know, both sides of that equation Muriel and I have definitely seen, where there’s both your own shift internally around realizing that you are a leader and that you are bringing a different business judgment and a different set of decision-making skills to the table. And at the same time as you mentioned, it’s also interesting to see how perception follows along with that. And I think in our coaching work we’ve always seen that the internal shift often happens sooner, quicker, with a greater pronouncement than perhaps how others view you.

AMY GALLO: Let’s take each of those in turn because I think the internal one, while it may happen quicker seems really, for many people, especially women, hard to make that leap. And I’m curious, when you coach clients who are making that leap, how do you help them? Like what are the major obstacles and how do you help them get there?

MURIEL WILKINS: In anything, right, the internal piece is the harder part. But it’s also the one that is most sustainable in terms of achieving the transformation or the change or the shift that you want to make, whether it’s in your career, or, quite frankly, even in your personal life. And I think with clients, one of the big things they really need to embrace is that being a leader or acting as a leader doesn’t necessarily require the hierarchical position. And so, a lot of them wait till they get the promotion, right? Till they’re the vice president, till they’re managing a team, assuming that that’s when they need to be quote unquote “leaderly.” As though it’s like, OK, it’s a rite of passage, you’re promoted, now you can wear your leadership hat. Whereas in reality, you should be preparing for this from day one. And I think with women, part of the challenge is that they are not necessarily conditioned for leadership positions early on, so they don’t get a ton of practice before they even enter the workplace. Right, if you look at the research even around, you know, the ability for women to raise their hands in classroom — or not women, young girls — you start seeing that dissonance very early on. And I think that follows women into the workplace. So a lot of what we have to work with them on is not just the mindset in terms of seeing themselves as a leader — what does that mean, how do they want to lead, how do they want to be known? — but also starting to understand that there are some specific skills that help in terms of establishing your leadership, asserting your leadership primarily around your communication skills, your ability to speak up, your ability to listen, your ability to ask good questions, how you lead your work and drive your work, as well as even your physical presence, right? How you hold yourself in a room, in a conversation, and can you do it in a way that again, makes you feel like you’re a leader and makes others feel like they’re in the presence of a leader as well?

AMY GALLO: One of the challenges for women is that many of them get the messages that in order to be a leader, you need to, you know, use typically masculine traits. I mean, this is one of the most popular articles we’ve ever published on HBR.org is about why so many incompetent men become leaders, and so much of it is about how we value confidence and assertiveness. And I think for some women, me included, the hesitancy to step into the role in the way you’re talking about is like, Do I have to do that? Right? Do I have to be assertive and aggressive and authoritative in order to be a leader? How do women get over that hurdle? How do we think about that?

MURIEL WILKINS: That is a big sort of life-asserting question that you’re posing here, right? Because the struggle and the tension is between what the world expects you to be and who you are. And so even this, you know, this concept of leadership looks one way, which is, quite frankly, the white masculine way,

NICOLE TORRES: Mhm.

MURIEL WILKINS: And so, from my standpoint, in working with women, it’s to A) get them to understand that it is a myth, that the real work starts from within, to understand who are you, what do you stand for? What are your principles? What is your way of being in the world, and the behaviors that make you who you are? And then it’s really getting them away from what their default behaviors and skills might be — again, how they’ve habitually created who they are right now and how they act — and more start to get them to think about what do they want? Right? So, the minute I have a client who says with real conviction that they do want to lead, that’s actually the biggest breakthrough. Because they have to own it. Once we understand that, then we can work backwards to say, Alright, so how do you do this in a way that supports who you are, while at the same time being relevant and resonates with those who you need to lead?

NICOLE TORRES: Are there specific examples of things that you tell clients who come to you and they say, I want to lead, and you know, you want to send them out and have them practice different styles of leadership? What are some things you tell them to do to establish themselves as leaders if they don’t have, you know, the title that denotes certain responsibility, but they want to start embodying a leader? What do you tell them to do?

AMY SU: I think Nicole, the word “embodiment” is really important. We could tell somebody all we want that we’re a leader, we’re a leader, let me tell you, I’m a leader — and it’s really about the felt experience of the other person. So, for example, you might be somebody who historically asked a lot of questions or asked for advice from others. And so, for example, Nicole, maybe in the past I would say to you, Hey Nicole, how do you think I should price this proposal? And instead, I think in a more leader stance, I might come to you now with what I call the “comment and the question,” where I’m sharing with you my business judgment first and then asking a question. So instead, I might say, Nicole, I’m thinking we should price this proposal this way. I think it, you know, inherently keeps the value of our firm and at the same time mitigates risks on renewals. But I really value your perspective. Do you think I’m missing anything here? So there’s a big difference in when our stance is historically, wow, I don’t have the answers, so I’m going to go ask others and follow, versus I’m a leader, I’m going to share with you my judgment, but then hold openness to other perspectives.

NICOLE TORRES: I love that.

MURIEL WILKINS: And then if I can add to that, I think if a client is working in a specific organization that has their own model of what it looks like to be an effective leader in that organization, at a very practical level, I ask them, Do you even know what it means to be an effective leader in this organization? If the answer is no, then they have to go on a little field trip to HR and ask, right, what does the leadership model look like here? Is there one? And usually it’s made up of, you know, eight to 12 skills, and we start working on those skills.

AMY GALLO: We probably have people who are listening and saying, I’ve nailed the internal, I know I want to be a leader, I’ve looked at the competencies, I’ve started doing, you know, exhibiting the behavior, but people around me still don’t see me as a leader. Do you have any advice for women in that situation, where they feel like they’re pushing to be a leader, but yet they’re not getting the response they want?

AMY SU: The word you use, they’re “pushing” really says a lot. I think when we are coming from a place of trying to prove ourself, people can smell that and there’s actually a tremendous amount of insecurity that sits underneath of that. So, there’s a distinction for me between, I really own my expertise and I understand the business knowledge and skills and experience that I bring to the table. I think that feels very different than when you come to the table with, I need to prove that I’m an expert and I hope they see me as an expert. Somehow, folks can smell the difference. And so, I think we need to really push ourselves to say, Is the pressure to prove we’re being an expert actually getting in the way?

MURIEL WILKINS: And I think it’s important to also bring people along, right? Many times, individuals are not pushing back on you trying to grow your leadership wings, spread your wings, if you will. It’s that they’re not used to it. They’re used to operating with you and experiencing you in the way that you have been. I think that it’s actually really helpful to have a couple of advocates, champions, sponsors who are excited for you to spread your wings, and who you rely on in terms of getting advice and counsel and mentoring, however you want to call it, as you’re going through this passage, that way they are coming along with you. And I think for women in particular, depending on where they are in their career, this is especially important. If you have had a male boss or mentor. I’ve seen many women get caught up in a bit of this like father daughter relationship in the manager, you know, when their manager or their mentor is a male. And as you’re growing and spreading your wings, you know, is that really the dynamic that you want to have, whether it’s conscious or unconscious. So bringing people along, being even very explicit that this is what you want, that you want to grow as a leader, that you see yourself in a leadership role, that this is your intent as you go into that next position, how can they best support you in doing that, and asking for their support can be really healthy in helping move through that transition.

AMY GALLO: Yeah. I mean, I’ve seen that dynamic play out between two women, where the boss wants to protect the person who’s rising up —

AMY SU: Yes.

MURIEL WILKINS: Right.

AMY GALLO: And so they, you know, don’t give them too much work to do or they, you know, go to the meeting instead of them because they have too much on their plate or, and I think there is something to be said for saying to your mentor, sponsor, manager, I got this. Right? This is what I want. I want to move forward. Yes, it’s a lot. But I got it.

AMY SU: And also, I think Amy, to remind your boss or sponsor or mentor how that growth in you actually benefits them because you’re now able to take more off their plate.

AMY GALLO: Right, right.

NICOLE TORRES: Yeah. But how hard is it to get, you know, a manager or someone who’s mentoring you, someone who’s mentoring you and trying to give you advice for how to grow and be a better employee — how do you get them to stop thinking of you as someone who needs a lot of direction and guidance? How do you get them to start seeing you as someone who can give direction to others?

MURIEL WILKINS: I think if there’s been a trusting relationship up until now, you acknowledge and show gratitude for the support that that person has given you, and you make the request that they let you try it out on your own. Right? So, it’s a both. You don’t want to shun them because they’re supportive and that’s an asset. And you don’t want to let go of that asset. So, I don’t think it’s so much demonstrating, I think it’s actually having that explicit conversation with that individual.

AMY GALLO: That’s making me think Muriel too, that you also have to be specific because if you say to your manager, mentor, sponsor, I want to be seen as a leader, that could mean a zillion different things.

MURIEL WILKINS: Yes.

AMY SU: Absolutely.

AMY GALLO: Right, so you need to say, I want to be able to make the decision on X. I want to be someone who people seek out for expertise on Y, right. I want to, you know, people to value my opinion when I speak up at a meeting, I think be more specific and as you say Muriel, making a request of here’s how you can help me do that —

AMY GALLO: — is really powerful.

MURIEL: Right. And you can also ask in a specific way, right? Seek counsel and say, Manager, I really want to work on my ability to be seen as a leader, you know, six months from now, what would be some of the hallmarks that you’d want to see that you’d expect from me if that’s my goal?

AMY GALLO: Right. You’re also making me think of, when you mentioned the trip to HR earlier about figuring out what the competencies are, I also have seen people and have done myself a lot of observing of other people. And I noticed once that someone, I, that many people thought of as a leader, often said at the end of the meeting, let me know if you want me to weigh in on that. And I was like, Oh, I should use that. That’s a good line because it demonstrates, I have expertise, I’m willing to help if you want my opinion. But it’s not necessarily, you know, if it’s helpful, I will weigh in. And I thought that was like such a nice way to establish this person who had expertise, this was someone people typically sought their opinion from, and it sort of said, I’m a leader without having to be like, I’m in charge, right.

NICOLE TORRES: Yeah.

AMY SU: And I think, Amy, you’re mentioning something here that does distinguish a leader, where you begin to see at more senior levels, people are just more comfortable batting ideas around with each other in a much more peer-to-peer stance. And oftentimes you see somebody who’s still trying to make that turn because they’re still walking in with the over-packaged document, or the over-packaged presentation, and they feel like they can only speak when it’s about their area. And I think part of being seen as a leader is the willingness to bring your judgment, bring your acumen, bat things around in a much more informal way.

AMY GALLO: Yeah. Well and I know you both, you talk about in your book Own the Room about also, you know, trying to make connections between — so as you get a broader view of the organization you’re trying to make connections between departments or units or different initiatives. So sometimes it’s even about asking questions like how does this impact so-and-so’s project, or how are these two things connected?

AMY SU: And in fact, one of the exercises that I really like to give clients is, as you are stepping into a bigger role or a new role, or you’re thinking of showing up as a stronger leader, what is the percentage of lead and percentage of learn that you need to have as an equation? And so, there’s some part of our work that is, yes, we are leading, we are bringing our skills, we are bringing our decision-making, we are bringing our clarity. But there’s as much a percentage that’s about learning from other parts of the organization and holding a more open stance and actually being planful about that. Who are the other people or functions I could get more information from, what networks might I want to build in this next role? So, it’s important to think about what’s my lead learn in any given situation.

AMY GALLO: I love that.

AMY GALLO: Because not only does that help you transition to doing more leading, but it also, you know, prevents the risk that you just become so focused on leading that you stop learning.

AMY SU: Right.

NICOLE TORRES: And that you think you have all the answers.

AMY GALLO: Yup.

NICOLE TORRES: But does that balance change, you know, over the course of your career? Like something that my friends and I talk about a lot is if you have, you know, kind of come of age in one organization, if you came of age professionally at one company, you know, maybe you started as an intern or you started at, you know, another entry level position and you stayed there long enough and you’ve kind of grown a lot, at least on paper in your role, but also in how you see yourself and how you understand the company. I think a big challenge is still like how do you get people to stop seeing you as that intern, you know, who started like five years ago, and start seeing you as someone who has a pretty good understanding of what the company needs right now and how this organization operates, and can make good decisions to help lead it forward. I’m wondering if you have worked with clients who’ve faced that similar challenge and how you get them to, how you help them overcome it?

AMY SU: It is a challenge I think when you’re homegrown, right? Where you’ve, the organization has seen you at many stages of your development. And so, I think many of the things we’ve already discussed here, number one, you yourself staying updated to who you are and where you’ve been and where you are now is very important. Some of the things that Muriel shared earlier around making sure that you’re keeping others under the tent and being clear on your intentions of growth. And I think really trying to make the advantage of that you have institutional knowledge, you have a loyalty to the organization, you have a history of relationships. And so, as you continue to talk about your career development within that organization, how do you keep bringing those strengths and those benefits to bear in terms of the next difference you want to make. And I think you have to be careful to keep your eyes out for cues. So if your organization keeps hiring external folks into roles that you want, or if you find that folks continue to treat you as if you are a version of yourself from 10 years ago, those are cues that you want to pay attention to and make sure you’re not stagnating.

NICOLE TORRES: And if you are seeing those cues, if you feel like you are stagnating, what do you do?

AMY SU: I think first you try to have conversations with folks about your career development that you do have a loyalty in history, you do feel like you add value, be clear on the difference you hope to make next. And if still, if nothing happens, then I think all of us, and women especially, need to understand that you have market value outside of your organization, and it might be worth having some conversations outside to see what might be possible.

MURIEL WILKINS: You know, this is where I think — and I don’t want to speak in general terms that all women are like this — but this is just my anecdotal experience in having worked with clients, and as you said, like talking to friends. One of the areas that I don’t think women tend to look out for as much as I see their male counterparts do is when they are assigned a new position or role or project, do they make the assessment of, have they been set up for success? And so to this point around when you’re homegrown, using that actually as an advantage if you are, if you are offered a new role, a new position to really take a step back before accepting and negotiating what you can to make sure that you’re set up for success. And so, what does that mean? Right? In practical terms, for example, if you have a concern that the peers, that the people who used to be your peers are now going to be reporting to you and how’s that gonna play out? Being able to get your boss or your manager to explicitly show your support and have that person help get buy-in from those peers, now direct reports, sort of smoothing the stage before you get on is a way of setting up conditions to help you be more successful. We tend to have this mindset that when we’re offered these roles, you know, the mindset tends to be, Oh my God, we’re so thankful, you know, we’re grateful — Oh, lucky me that I made it this far, versus what I tell my clients, I tell myself, I tell my kids like, No, like you’re lucky to have me. Right? [LAUGHTER] You’re lucky to have me. Right? I’m bringing value. I’m bringing it on. I am excited to be here. You are excited to have me here. You offered me the role, so let’s, you know, let’s kick this thing off and really make sure it works for everybody.

MURIEL WILKINS: And I think that’s a mindset that really helps in terms of being able to get that support and getting people to, getting people to see that you are also excited. You’re not stepping into it hesitantly. You’re stepping into it because basically, you know, it’s almost like I’ve been ready for this, right? The time is now. Let me go for it. And at the same time, as Amy said, use all the social capital and institutional knowledge that you have as a benefit rather than as a crutch.

AMY GALLO: Yeah. I was asked a question recently by a woman of color, a black woman who said that she worked in an organization where she just felt like she was never going to succeed because of her race and her gender. And she said, how do I know when it’s just not going to happen? You know, where I’m not going to be seen as a leader because of these biases versus, you know, I haven’t done enough yet. And I’m curious if you have advice for someone in that situation.

MURIEL WILKINS: I would look at what are the signs that she’s getting. Number one, you know, when she looks ahead of her in terms of the different ranks, what does that look like? Are there any other women or people of color or, you know, bingo, bonus, women of color that are more senior? So, is there a track record there? Secondly, is she getting support even in the role that she’s in? Right? Is she being offered, even if she has to ask, opportunities to be able to get not only visibility, but also more experience and exposure because those are the things that will actually get you ahead? It’s the visibility, the social capital, as well as the knowledge capital, which only comes through experience. So, has she had enough at-bats at that? And are there possibilities for her to get that? If she’s getting knocked down every time she asks, well then that’s another sign. The other is, you know, is she able to attain a sponsor even if it’s an informal sponsor within the organization? So, what I would say is if, you know, all things being equal, if your performance is great, right? Let’s assume the performance is really top notch, and we’re not questioning that. But if you’re able to sort of do everything that you can in these other areas that I spoke of and over some time, it doesn’t seem like it’s leading to anything, then you do need to have, you know, a frank conversation with yourself around whether this place is the place that’s going to set you up for success in terms of the goals that you want. And you also have to ask yourself, you know, what’s your time limit? And everybody’s is different, right? I do think that some people opt out too early. But I also think that you need to set a time range, and sometimes you don’t really know till you go elsewhere.

NICOLE TORRES: So I really like your advice on having explicit conversations with managers or whoever that you know, lets them know that you want to lead and here are all the things that you’re willing to do and here are ways that you could use their support to get better. But I’ve also gotten the advice from people to like just start leading, you know, like just, if you’re given like the task to be in charge of something, then like really assert yourself in leading that. So, schedule meetings, like start sending emails about those things, you know, like really attach yourself as the person who’s responsible for a given project. And I’m wondering if you know, are there certain moments when you should just do that?

AMY SU: Nicole, I think that moment exists every day, and I would encourage people to just do that. Right? When you take any project that you’re working on, I think the push to ourselves to say, Am I thinking about this project simply as a set of activities that I need to execute well, or am I pausing to think about it differently? If I looked at the same business problem, but now I put it on a three-year horizon, or if I thought about the risks involved, or if I thought about the competitive benchmarks. I think there’s so much more that we can each do every day to bring a different level of strategic thinking to the work we do, to the way we communicate. Are we framing up in a more senior level way? So, I think the world of possibilities to demonstrate a higher order of leadership is available to all of us at every moment, whether somebody gives us permission or not.

NICOLE TORRES: Yeah. How do you stay, I know we all have those moments of doubt — we talk about imposter syndrome on this show. But if you are, you know, a leader, if you start seeing yourself as a leader, and you sense that other people doubt you — you know, people think that you have progressed too fast, they kind of still see you as someone who needs training wheels — like how do you just preserve your own sense of confidence so that you know you can lead and some people are just wrong about you.

MURIEL WILKINS: I mean, one of the things that I think is really helpful, particularly when you take on a management role for the first time and you start leading a team really upfront, very, very early on, getting on the table, what people’s hopes and aspirations are in terms of you being the leader, but also understanding what their concerns might be, right? And that ability to listen upfront around the concerns gives you an added advantage in terms of being able to not get the defensive but address them. And also hearing what the expectations are because the more that you can start being in tune to those expectations and potentially meet some of those expectations and get some quick wins — that starts building your credibility. The biggest watch-out is to get defensive. Because if you get defensive, it’s just going to alienate everyone, right? And you don’t want to be in that position.

AMY GALLO: What if you’re not sure if you want to lead? What if you’re on the fence about taking on more responsibility? How do you decide whether this is actually something you want to do?

MURIEL WILKINS: I think you need to, this is where you really need to think through what, you know, what do the next couple of years look like for you? I don’t think it’s a lifetime decision, right? Some people look at it as what do I want to do with my life. And I, for one, I really think just look at things in a three to five-year horizon. Five years seems like a very long time to me. So really focus on the next couple of years rather than this is for the rest of my life. And from that standpoint, one of the best ways that you can do that is to look ahead, right? What could be the possibility five years from now? What are the different scenarios? And which ones sits better in terms of being more aligned with what you want? What you don’t want to have happen is, I don’t want to follow that particular scenario out of fear. And that’s a very different way of opting out. I remember early on in my career, I recognized that I was getting very close to really being in a position to gun for partner at a consulting firm. And while I did believe that I could do it, the question was, did I want to do it? And those are two very different things. So, I think the first question is, do you think you can do it? The second is, do you want to do it? And while I believed that I could do it, I recognized after a lot of just my own self-searching and talking to others and looking at those who are ahead of me, even those that I greatly admired, that that was not what I wanted. And the reason I didn’t want it is that that wasn’t the way that I wanted to make an impact. Right? And so, having the ability to sit back and think about those two questions — do I believe I can do it, and do I want it — are very critical.

AMY SU: And I think there’s, you know, people out there similarly who, in the question of do I want to do it, end up being guided by a should, that career success looks like being a leader and having this many direct reports and as long as that universe keeps growing, then somehow I’m successful. So, I think Muriel’s point around do I want to do it? Does this make sense for this next phase of my life? I had a colleague recently who went from leading a team of 50 people, an organization of 50, and she and I talked about how at this stage of her life, as she looked at the next four years, both of her kids are in high school, and she realized that she went to her boss and said, Over the next four years I want to be home more, I’m finding that I miss some of the work I got to do day-to-day because now I’m really managing other people. So, she’s moved back to an individual contributor role. And that’s what works for her at this time. So, is she any less leaderly? No, I think this was just a woman who was very in touch with what this next phase of life meant to her and what was the work that was going to feed her as well as feed her family.

AMY GALLO: I like that because I think we often have this idea that leadership is just a, you know, straight incline, and you just acquire more things to — more initiatives, more people, and that’s the only way to grow. And I love that she’s not any less a leader, she’s just stepping back from those particular responsibilities.

NICOLE TORRES: Amy, Muriel, thank you so much for joining us. This has been super helpful.

AMY SU: Thanks so much for having us.

MURIEL WILKINS: Thank you. This was great. Thanks for having us.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Well what does it mean to be seen as a leader to you?

NICOLE TORRES: I think it’s a term that we throw out there. Like some people are like leaders, like I can think of a handful of people who are like so commonly referred to as leaders, and other people who I’ve never heard called leaders — even though the actual work they do, like there’s a lot of managing and leading.

AMY BERNSTEIN: I don’t think you’re talking just about yourself —

NICOLE TORRES: Yeah, yeah.

AMY BERNSTEIN: — I think you’re talking more universally, but I think you might be surprised at how many people in roles of authority view the people you’re talking about, who don’t have the formal authority, as leaders.

AMY BERNSTEIN: And that’s why they keep going back to them to take on new initiatives. That’s being seen as a leader by leaders. Right?

NICOLE TORRES: Right.

AMY GALLO: In my experience, I’ve either been doing it before people have formally accepted it, and I’m just sort of going for it, hoping they’ll catch up, or I notice way too late and I’m like, Oh, this was an opportunity where I should have been more leaderly and I thought of myself as a follower.

AMY BERNSTEIN: See I notice it in its absence, when someone whom I expect to manage — and we don’t need to get into the difference between management and leadership — but someone whom I expected to lead a project failed to take ownership. And that shows up as asking for guidance on every single decision that I would have trusted her to make.

AMY GALLO: Or sitting back — I’ve done this myself of just sort of sitting back and waiting for the group to move things forward, and rather than taking the lead, you know, and being in control and determining this is the next step, this is what we’re doing.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Oh that’s so, yeah, that’s really smart because the other way I’ve seen it show up is someone who’s been put in charge of a project and thinks that the right way to make decisions is to take a poll of the room rather than to make the decision. You put someone in charge of a project generally because you trust her judgment. Right?

AMY BERNSTEIN: And you trust her to get all of the information and insight she needs to make the best decision.

AMY GALLO: Yeah.

NICOLE TORRES: And speaking of like decision-making and how confident people are in your decisions, the things I think about that would, you know, assure me that people see me as a leader are people listening to my opinions and respecting the decisions I’m making, or is there like a lot of waffling? Like are my judgments not trusted? Is there a lot of questioning over what I’m trying to offer?

AMY BERNSTEIN: And I think that gets to the heart of why it’s difficult for women often to assume leadership roles because it’s difficult for us to be heard sometimes.

AMY GALLO: Right. Well, and also, I mean we know from lots of studies that when we think of a leader, we think of a man. And so, there’s sort of this extra hurdle for women trying to make this transition to do all of the things we’re talking about and also challenge what we think of when we think of leadership.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Without coming across as a cold witch.

NICOLE TORRES: Right. Yep.

AMY GALLO: Yep. This isn’t exactly leadership, but when, after I wrote the book about conflict, I was starting to talk to people about doing talks about the book and I just didn’t see myself as an expert. And I think a lot of leadership is about being, you know, having expertise, being someone people look to for insights or judgment, as you were saying, Amy B. And I actually had a trick where I wrote on a Post-it Note “I am an expert,” and just put it above my computer. And anytime I was going to have a call where I needed to remember that I’m in charge — and I think it could work, right? Write a little Post-It: “I am a leader.” You don’t have to put it right on your desk, but I think that sort of gentle mantra reminder is super helpful.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Well, waiting for someone else to give you permission —

AMY BERNSTEIN: — you know, isn’t going to get you where you want to go. Right?

AMY GALLO: Yes.

NICOLE TORRES: Yep.

AMY GALLO: Well and you have to embrace it. And I actually remember the day where I took the Post-It and threw it away because I was like, I don’t need this anymore.

AMY BERNSTEIN: I have arrived.

NICOLE TORRES: It’s in here.

AMY GALLO: Yeah. Like, I believe it. I don’t —

AMY BERNSTEIN: I’m off the train, I’m in the station.

AMY GALLO: Right. I remember during my consulting days I actually would get bored in client meetings, and one of the ways to trick myself into being more engaged was to act as if I was in charge and what would I say right now?

AMY BERNSTEIN: I want to try that!

AMY GALLO: And like sort of play out, what would I say now? How would I direct this? What would I do? And I think it really changed the way I was viewed because my insights were that much more insightful, or that much more helpful. And I felt like I was in a driving role as opposed to a contributing role.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah. Because you were getting out ahead of it.

AMY BERNSTEIN: You were really, you were trying to steer the car.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Instead of just riding in the backseat.

NICOLE TORRES: But did you get any pushback for that? Like was that seen by people as you were trying to hijack things that were owned by other people?

AMY BERNSTEIN: No, not really. I mean, I think the — partly I was doing in a very emotionally intelligent way of not just like raising my hand every two minutes, we should do this, we should do this. I think I was gauging when was appropriate, watching for reaction. Sometimes it would be that the partner on the project afterwards, I’d just say in the, you know, taxi ride back to our office. I’d be like, you know what I thought of during that meeting was this, this, and this. Sometimes it wasn’t even saying it out loud in the moment, it was just thinking about what would I have done. And it was literally a trick to get me to stop being bored, but it really did set me up to be much more of a leader. And I got a promotion soon after. I think that —

AMY BERNSTEIN: But you also weren’t worrying about what people thought because you were trying not to be arrogant and you were focusing on what you could control, which was the attitude that you brought to it and your openness.

AMY GALLO: Well, and it didn’t, it also helped that I didn’t, I wasn’t trying to prove myself. I was trying to do something totally different, and in the process, I happened to prove myself.

AMY BERNSTEIN: But I think that sometimes people are reticent, and women are often reticent because they’re afraid of appearing too pushy.

AMY BERNSTEIN: And in that way they’re holding themselves back. And most of the time when we fail to emerge as leaders, I think it’s because we tap the brakes too much on ourselves.

NICOLE TORRES: But sometimes like that fear of being perceived as pushy, like that’s a legitimate fear. Like if you are pushing for things, you can be seen as being too aggressive and not getting along with others.

AMY BERNSTEIN: But if you’re pushing for things for the right reasons, then who cares?

AMY GALLO: Well, I think to your point, Nicole, I think what we understand from the research is that women are penalized when they seem to be pushing on behalf of themselves. When they push on behalf of the collective — so if you’re trying to further the initiative, help your team, you know, realize the organization’s mission — we tend to allow women to drive a little bit more. And I mean, personally for me, I feel more engaged when I’m doing that, when it’s on behalf of a group, not just myself.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Oh, it’s so much, it’s so much easier to advocate for the group or the project.

AMY GALLO: And wouldn’t we all be better off if everyone, not just women, advocated on behalf of the collective rather than themselves?

AMY BERNSTEIN: Oh my god. What would we do?

AMY GALLO: But Nicole, you’re on this cusp, you’re going through, we talked about with Muriel and Amy that it was sort of this awkward growing pains. Like how are you feeling about it right now?

NICOLE TORRES: Yeah. I’ve been thinking a lot about this. It’s, I think it’s true — this is an awkward growing phase that is part like me having to deal with myself and make sure that I’m not the one holding myself back in terms of seeing myself as a leader and having the confidence to lead, but at the same time like I was really curious in that interview with them, like what about all of the external stuff? Like even if I see myself as a leader and I know I’m in a leadership role — other people around me and their perceptions and how they regard me like that really matters in my ability to be a leader and also see myself as a leader. One of my experiences of, you know, realizing that that external side was really important was I was leading a project, or I thought I was leading a project, and in a meeting, when we were talking about ideas, like someone, you know, I said something and someone didn’t like my idea and they just told me I was uptight.

AMY BERNSTEIN: What?

AMY GALLO: Oh my gosh.

NICOLE TORRES: Like in front of the whole room. Like I was the uptight one, even though I was advocating an idea for this, like larger project.

AMY BERNSTEIN: OK, but you know that that was obnoxious.

NICOLE TORRES: Oh, totally, totally. But in my mind, I was like, I thought I was leading this, and I had, I thought that that was clear. But then I realized like because that statement was made, like maybe that is not so clear.

AMY BERNSTEIN: So, before this meeting, was the rest of the team informed that you would be leading?

NICOLE TORRES: Not really.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah.

AMY GALLO: But I think that happens a lot.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah, but see that’s not good.

AMY GALLO: No, I mean it’s not, but it happens a lot. And I think there’s many times we have to lead through that ambiguity to respond to hopefully less vicious forms of attack. Right? And we can’t let that comment, that type of comment stop us from leading.

AMY GALLO: Because you just, you, yeah. I mean, I totally, that stinks, basically. That’s what I want to say.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah, but here’s the thing. I mean, when someone does something like that, you just have to reflect it. They’re in a pretty bad place, you know, to launch that rocket at you.

NICOLE TORRES: There are only some things you can control.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Exactly.

AMY GALLO: Exactly. So, what should have Nicole said in that moment to be seen as a leader? When someone says something like that? Like what’s a, what’s the leaderly thing to do when someone —

AMY BERNSTEIN: That’s such a good question. What is the… Well, first of all, I don’t think, I think engaging with it is a mistake.

NICOLE TORRES: Just get out!

AMY GALLO: Yeah, you can leave now.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Or what you can do is try to disarm them with humor.

AMY BERNSTEIN: You know, just make it clear that the comment was noted, but more important, the attitude was noted.

AMY GALLO: Yeah. Are you criticizing me or are you criticizing my idea? Because I thought we were talking about ideas here.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah. Or you know, switching to a more constructive line of conversation — you know, something like that.

AMY BERNSTEIN: There’s a way to call them out without calling them out. I would, I don’t know. I sort of — of course, it’s so easy to say when I had absolutely nothing to do with the situation, but you know, talking to that person afterwards and saying, what was that?

AMY BERNSTEIN: If you’re comfortable enough with that person to say it. I mean —

NICOLE TORRES: Yeah. I mean something I wish I did was like have just a conversation afterwards to say that really wasn’t cool, and I don’t know if you meant it like that, but like that isn’t cool and it doesn’t sound good to me and to other people who hear that.

NICOLE TORRES: Instead of like go home and tell my boyfriend about it and complain and tell all my friends, could you believe this happened? And now talking about it on this podcast! [LAUGHTER] I think there are ways I could have handled it.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Well, in another couple of decades you’ll have worked it out.

NICOLE TORRES: Yeah, totally.

AMY GALLO: Because clearly we have.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah, right. I mean I can remember all the slights I felt when I was, you know, when I got promoted and someone came up and said, Well, why do you think you got promoted? I mean that was like 30 years ago.

AMY GALLO: Yeah, I mean we do, those things stick with us.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah. Yeah. That Facebook friend request is still sitting in my inbox. [LAUGHTER]

AMY GALLO: You don’t hold a grudge.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Not at all. [LAUGHTER]

AMY GALLO: You see me as a leader when I want to be seen as a leader or I will not be your Facebook friend.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah. Who’s promoted now, bitch? [LAUGHTER]

NICOLE TORRES: Oh, this does, we didn’t, hey, we didn’t talk about this, but now you’re making me think of it. What if you are like a senior leader, whatever, mid-level leader and you, there are other leaders in the company too, and you all kind of have to work together? Like who, who wins out? What if there’s a conflict there? Have you ever been in that situation?

AMY BERNSTEIN: But you don’t approach it as a conflict situation. I mean, when I’ve been in this situation, one of the things we talk about, or I will bring it up is, Alright, so who’s doing what here? You have to, you know, you have to have that conversation at the beginning of a project. It’s the roles and responsibilities. Because when you don’t, when those aren’t clear, you’re not going to get anything done. And you know, I’m thinking about how to handle the next meeting where it’s not clear that you’re the leader. Maybe you open it up by saying, So the boss, Bob, has asked me to organize this team to do X, Y, and Z. And here’s the brief he gave me. So, let’s talk about how we’re going to get this done together. You know? And make it clear that you’re assuming leadership because the responsibility is yours.

AMY GALLO: I think establishing upfront, either as explicitly as that or just taking charge of the meeting. So, you know, starting by saying, OK, we’re here. Our goal is to do this. Everyone on the same page about that? Great. I have some ideas. I’d love to hear some ideas from the group. You know, just sort of taking control of that moment and being the facilitator.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Particularly if you’ve prepared. I think that’s a great approach. Because so much of leadership in the workplace and you know, 2019, 2020, is about leading through influence without formal authority.

AMY BERNSTEIN: We’re all doing it. Right? And so, you have to be able to show that, you know, you’re the one who’s really thought through this project and how it’s going to run its course.

NICOLE TORRES: I will say the most common advice that I keep getting and talking about this is like, don’t ask for permission. Just if you want —

AMY BERNSTEIN: Oh my god. Don’t.

NICOLE TORRES: If you see yourself as a leader and you want to be leading something, then you own that and take charge of it and start leading. And someone gave me, I was talking to a coworker, and she gave me really good advice. Because I was kind of saying, you know like, I’ve tried that and it just didn’t work, I can’t just take control of something. She was like, Why not? And I said, you know, maybe I don’t have certain things, certain skills that leaders need to have. Like there are parts of these projects that I don’t really like doing. I don’t feel super organized. I don’t like doing all of the organizing of people. And she was like, Leaders don’t have to do that all the time. Like your leadership style maybe means you get someone else to do all of that stuff. That blew my mind.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah, well, first of all, delegate. But secondly, I mean, no one does it all well. You have to recognize what you do well, and you know, the stuff you hate or that you don’t do well — and usually those are the same things. I hate process. I am so glad that my closest colleague on the magazine goes to process, you know, immediately and is really, really good at thinking it through.

AMY GALLO: Yeah. And I think that’s an important point is that being a leader doesn’t mean you have all of the skills already.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Right.

AMY GALLO: And that you like doing it all, right? Like it’s OK to be ambivalent about lots of parts of this.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Well, I mean, you know, one of the things about leadership is there are a lot of tough conversations and there’s a lot of — you’re not going to make everyone happy. You’re not going to be a good leader if all you want to do is make everyone happy.

AMY GALLO: Well that, OK, we didn’t talk about that with Muriel and Amy, but that is a huge piece of it, is that being a leader is about sometimes making people mad, disappointing them, and being OK.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Yes. I grappled with that the first time I really took a formal leadership role, and I had to go from, you know, wanting to be liked by everyone to figuring out how I could get myself past that. Because a lot of what I was promoted to do was to institute change. And that makes people really, really unhappy.

AMY GALLO: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, and to make all the decisions that we’re talking about and to be, you have to make tough calls.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Oh yeah.

AMY GALLO: Right? And you have to, you have to ask people to do things they don’t want to do. You have to tell people, No. You have to, you know, move things from one part of the organization to another. So, there’s losers and you know, you can’t be so focused on being liked. I actually think that’s a huge transition point.

AMY BERNSTEIN: It’s huge. And also, you have to sort of figure out how you want to show up. This is what you were getting at before. You have to think about what really matters to you. And, you know, maybe the way to do it is to figure out what you admire in leaders you admire. I mean, what is it about the people whose leadership you really look up to that makes you look up to them? And that’s a conversation you have to have with yourself. It takes some thought and it takes some analysis. And then it takes some commitment. I mean, sometimes you have to do things that make you super uncomfortable, but you do them because you know it’s the right thing to do.

NICOLE TORRES: But I guess, what advice do you have then when you are, when you’re doing that and like you get pushback from people? Like how do you not waver in your confidence when you have to make the hard calls? Like if people are just doubting you and your judgments on those calls?

AMY BERNSTEIN: So, remember that because you’re leading a project, it doesn’t mean you have to make all the decisions on your own. You’re seeking input from a lot of different people. So, you want to have confidence in your decision. There are a lot of decisions you make in the role where, you know, it could have gone one way or the other. And I think transparency helps a lot. We could’ve gone this way, but I think we need to go this way. Here’s why I think we need to go this way. I recognize what makes the other way preferable, but this way you know, is going to handle more of what we need to handle. Something like that. Just owning that this was on the bubble. Because no decision is often way worse than the suboptimal decision.

AMY GALLO: And if people are saying that won’t work, you’re making the wrong decision, say, Why? What are the risks? OK. How do we mitigate those risks? What would have to be true for this to be successful?

AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah. And turning the objections into a more constructive conversation. I think you’re so right, Amy.

AMY GALLO: Yeah. Because sometimes those objections are genuine and they’re pointing out true risks that — great. That’s helpful to think those through, do what you can to avoid them. And sometimes they’re questioning because they are trying to undermine you. And when they’re trying to undermine you, focusing on the content is, I find the best way to go around that.

AMY BERNSTEIN: The content and the purpose. You’re so right about that.

NICOLE TORRES: I’m going to listen to this next time I go into a meeting.

AMY GALLO: Well, and I think that you’re in that spot where you’re going to have your confidence questioned. And I think in some ways it’s just a matter of sticking to the course, knowing you’re going to get pushback, knowing people aren’t always going to say, Yep, here’s this leader opportunity, go ahead and make the most of it. You’re going to have to take it.

AMY GALLO: And it’s not always going to be great.

AMY BERNSTEIN: But the other thing is that you want to be seen as — I’ll guess, fair and thoughtful, and you know, committed to getting the job done well and committed to the team. You know, it’s, those things will shine a lot brighter than making sure that Mary likes you, right?

AMY GALLO: Well, and that’s a good point too, is that as you’re moving into this role, it’s not a bad idea to write down what kind of leader do you want to be, what are the values? Because you can return to that.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Yeah. That’s on the next Post-It Note. [LAUGHTER] You threw out “You are a lead” — or “You are an expert,” right?

AMY GALLO: Right. Now it’s fairness, equity, thoughtfulness — right.

AMY BERNSTEIN: Whatever you want to be the points of your compass. Those might be the things you write down.

NICOLE TORRES: Yeah. I like that exercise. I feel like this turned into a career coaching session. [LAUGHTER]

AMY GALLO: Nicole’s on a couch. You can’t see it, but — [LAUGHTER]

NICOLE TORRES: With my guides!

AMY BERNSTEIN: With snacks.

AMY GALLO: With snacks. Always. Always with snacks.

HANNAH BATES: You just heard Amy Su and Muriel Wilkins, founders of the executive coaching firm Paravis Partners in conversation with Amy Bernstein, Amy Gallo, and Nicole Torres on Women at Work .

We’ll be back next Wednesday with another hand-picked conversation about leadership from Harvard Business Review. If you found this episode helpful, share it with your friends and colleagues, and follow our show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. While you’re there, be sure to leave us a review.

When you’re ready for more podcasts, articles, case studies, books, and videos with the world’s top business and management experts, you’ll find it all at HBR.org.

This episode was produced by Amanda Kersey, Anne Saini, and me, Hannah Bates. Ian Fox is our editor. Music by Coma Media. Special thanks to Adam Buchholz, Rob Eckhardt, Maureen Hoch, Erica Truxler, Ramsey Khabbaz, Nicole Smith, Anne Bartholomew, and you – our listener.

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