Increased motivation among infants
Higher internalization among toddlers
Better psychosocial functioning among adolescents
The evidence clearly supports a relationship between positive parenting approaches and a large variety of prosocial parent and child outcomes. Therefore, practitioners have developed and implemented a range of programs aimed at promoting positive parenting practices.
Here are some noteworthy examples; including those which target specific risk factors, as well as those with a more preventative focus:
A reoccurring theme in the positive parenting literature is that a warm, yet firm parenting style is linked to numerous positive youth outcomes. This style is termed ‘authoritative’ and it is conceptualized as a parenting approach that includes a good balance of the following parenting qualities: assertive, but not intrusive; demanding, but responsive; supportive in terms of discipline, but not punitive (Baumrind, 1991).
Along with an authoritative parenting style, a developmental parenting style is also believed to support positive child outcomes (Roggman et al., 2008).
Developmental parenting is a positive parenting style that promotes positive child development by providing affection (i.e., through positive expressions of warmth toward the child); responsiveness (i.e., by attending to a child’s cues); encouragement (i.e., by supporting a child’s capabilities and interests); and teaching (i.e., by using play and conversation to support a child’s cognitive development (Roggman & Innocenti, 2009).
Developmental parenting clearly shares several commonalities with authoritative parenting, and both represent positive parenting approaches.
Overall, by taking a good look at positive parenting strategies that work for raising healthy, happy kids; it is evident that positive parenting styles encourage a child’s autonomy by:
In a nutshell, positive parents support a child’s healthy growth and inner spirit by being loving, supportive, firm, consistent, and involved. Such parents go beyond communicating their expectations, but practice what they preach by being positive role models for their children to emulate.
The term ‘discipline’ often has a negative, purely punitive connotation. However, ‘discipline’ is actually defined as “training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character” (Merriam-Webster, 2019).
This definition is instructive, as it reminds us that as parents, we are not disciplinarians, but rather teachers. And as our children’s teachers, our goal is to respectfully show them choices for behaviors and to positively reinforce adaptive behaviors.
Positive discipline again harkens back to authoritative parenting because it should be administered in a way that is firm and loving at the same time. Importantly, positive discipline is never violent, aggressive or critical; it is not punitive.
Relevant: Examples of Positive Punishment & Negative Reinforcement
Physical punishment (i.e., spanking) is ineffective for changing behaviors in the long-term and has a number of detrimental consequences on children (Gershoff, 2013). Indeed, the objective of positive discipline is to “teach and train. Punishment (inflicting pain/purposeful injury) is unnecessary and counter-productive” (Kersey, 2006, p. 1).
Nelsen (2006) describes a sense of belonging as a primary goal of all people; a goal that is not achieved through punishment. In fact, she describes the four negative consequences of punishment on children (e.g., “the four R’s”) as resentment toward parents; revenge that may be plotted in order to get back at parents; rebellion against parents, such as through even more excessive behaviors; and retreat, that may involve becoming sneaky and/or experiencing a loss of self-esteem (Nelsen, 2006).
She provides the following five criteria for positive discipline (which are available on her positive discipline website ):
In her comprehensive and helpful book for parents: Positive Discipline , Nelsen (2006) also describes a number of key aspects of positive discipline, such as being non-violent, respectful, and grounded in developmental principles; teaching children self-respect, empathy, and self-efficacy; and promoting a positive relationship between parent and child.
Stated another way, “ respecting children teaches them that even the smallest, most powerless, most vulnerable person deserves respect, and that is a lesson our world desperately needs to learn ” (LR Knost, lovelivegrow.com).
Since we know that positive discipline does not involve the use of punishment; the next obvious questions become “Just what exactly does it involve?”
This question is undoubtedly urgent for parents who feel like their child is working diligently toward driving them mad. While we will discuss some of the more typical frustrations that parents regularly encounter later in the article, Kersey (2006) provides parents with a wonderful and comprehensive resource in her publication entitled “101 positive principles of discipline.”
Here are her top ten principles:
The reader is encouraged to check-out Kersey’s 101 positive discipline principles, as they contain an enormous amount of useful and effective approaches for parents; along with principles that reflect many everyday examples (e.g., Babysitter Principle; Apology Principle; Have Fun Together Principle; Talk About Them Positively to Others Principle; Whisper Principle; Write a Contract Principle; and so much more).
This section has provided many helpful positive discipline ideas for a myriad of parenting situations and challenges. Positive discipline (which will be expounded on later sections of in the article: i.e., ‘positive parenting with toddlers and preschoolers,’ ‘temper tantrums,’ ‘techniques to use at bedtime,’ etc.) is an effective discipline approach that promotes loving parent-child relationships, as well as producing productive, respectful, and happy children.
The notion of parenting a toddler can frighten even the most tough-minded among us. This probably isn’t helped by terms such as ‘terrible two’s,’ and jokes like “ Having a two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it ” (Jerry Seinfeld, goodreads.com).
Sure, toddlers and preschoolers get a bad rap; but they do sometimes seem like tiny drunken creatures who topple everything in their path. Not to mention their tremendous noise and energy, mood swings, and growing need for independence.
While their lack of coordination and communication skills can be endearing and often hilarious; they are also quite capable of leaving their parents in a frenzied state of frustration. For example, let’s consider the situation below.
In this relatable example, a dad and his cranky 3-year-old find themselves in a long line at a grocery store. The child decides she’s had enough shopping and proceeds to throw each item out of the cart while emitting a blood-curdling scream.
The father, who may really need to get the shopping done, is likely to shrivel and turn crimson as his fellow shoppers glare and whisper about his “obnoxious child” or “bad parenting.” He, of course, tells her to stop; perhaps by asking her nicely, or trying to reason with her.
When this doesn’t’ work, he might switch his method to commanding, pleading, threatening, negotiating, or anything else he can think of in his desperation. But she is out of control and beyond reason. The father wants an immediate end to the humiliation; but he may not realize that some quick fixes intended to placate his child, will only make his life worse in the long run.
So, what is he to do?
Before going into specific solutions for this situation, it is essential that parents understand this developmental stage. There are reasons for the child’s aggravating behaviors; reasons that are biologically programmed to ensure survival.
For example, kids aged two-to-three are beginning to understand that there are a lot of things that seem scary in the world. As such, they may become anxious about a variety of situations; like strangers, bad dreams, extreme weather, creepy images, doctor and dentist offices, monsters, certain animals, slivers or other minor medical issues, etc.
While these childhood fears make life more difficult for parents (i.e., when a child won’t stay in his/her room at night due to monsters and darkness, or when a child makes an enormous fuss when left with a babysitter), they are actually an indicator of maturity (Durant, 2016).
The child is reacting in a way that supports positive development by fearing and avoiding perceived dangers. While fear of monsters does not reflect a truly dangerous situation, avoidance of individuals who appear mean or aggressive is certainly in the child’s best interest.
Similarly, fear of strangers is an innate protective mechanism that prompts children to stay close to those adults who keep them healthy and safe. And some strangers indeed should be feared. Although a challenge for parents, young children who overestimate dangers with consistent false-positives are employing their survival instincts.
In her book Positive Discipline (which is free online and includes worksheets for parents), Durant (2016) notes the importance of respecting a child’s fears and not punishing her/him for them, as well as talking to the child in a way that shows empathy and helps him/her to verbalize feelings. Durant proposes that one of the keys of effective discipline is “… to see short-term challenges as opportunities to work toward your long-term goals” (2016, p. 21).
With this objective in mind, any steps a parent takes when dealing with a frightened or misbehaving child should always be taken with consideration of their potential long-term impact. Long-term goals, which Durant describes as “the heart of parenting” may be hard to think about when a child is challenging and a frustrated parent simply wants the behavior to stop.
However, punishing types of behaviors such as yelling, are not likely to be in-line with long-term parenting goals. By visualizing their preschooler as a high school student or even an adult, it can help parents to ensure that their immediate responses are in-line with the kind, peaceful and responsible person they wish to see in 15 years or so. Durant (2016) provides several examples of long-term parenting goals, such as:
Related: Examples of Positive Reinforcement in the Classroom
Long-term parenting goals are highly relevant to the maddening grocery store example. If the dad only thinks about the short-term goal of making his daughter’s behavior stop embarrassing him at the store, he might decide to tell her she can have a candy bar if she is quiet and stops throwing items from the cart.
This way, he might reason, he can finish his shopping quickly and without humiliation. Sure, this might work as far as getting the child to behave on that day— at that moment; BUT here are some likely consequences:
Moreover, the message she receives from the candy tactic will not reinforce the qualities the father likely wants to see in his daughter over time, such as:
Therefore, the father might instead deal with this situation by calmly telling her that she needs to stop or she will get a time-out. The time-out can take place somewhere in the store that is not reinforcing for her, such as a quiet corner with no people around (e.g., no audience). Or they can go sit in the car.
If the store is especially crowded, the dad might also ask the clerk to place his cart in a safe place and/or save his place in line until he returns (which he/she will likely be inclined to do if it will get the child to be quiet). After a brief time-out, he should give his daughter a hug and let her know the rules for the remainder of the shopping trip, as well as the consequences of not following them.
In some cases, it might be better for the parent to simply leave the store without the groceries and go home. He won’t have completed his shopping, but that will be a small price for having a child who learns a good lesson on how to behave.
Very importantly, however; if he does take her home, this absolutely cannot be done in a way that is rewarding (i.e., she gets to go home and play, watch tv, or anything else she enjoys). She will need a time-out immediately upon arriving home, as well as perhaps the message that dinner won’t be her favorite tonight since the shopping was not done.
This is not meant to be punitive or sarcastic, more of a natural consequence for her to learn from (e.g., “If I act-out at the store, we won’t have my favorite foods in the house”). In fact, even though he may not feel like it, the father needs to speak to his daughter in a kind and loving way.
Regardless of whether the consequence is in the store or at home, the dad absolutely must follow-through consistently. If he doesn’t, he will teach her that sometimes she can misbehave and still get what she wants; this is a pattern of reinforcement that is really difficult to break.
Of course, the father cannot leave the store each time she misbehaves, as he won’t get anything done and he’s also giving her too much control. Thus, he should prepare in advance for future shopping trips by making her aware of the shopping rules, expectations for her behavior, and the consequences if she breaks them.
The father should be specific about such things, as “I expect you to be good at the store” is not clear. Saying something more like “The rules for shopping are that you need to talk in your quiet voice, listen to daddy, sit still in the cart, help daddy give the items to the clerk, etc.” The dad is also encouraged to only take her shopping when she is most likely to behave (i.e., when well-rested, well-fed, not upset about something else, etc.).
He might also give her something to do while shopping, such as by bringing her favorite book or helping to put items in the cart. Giving his daughter choices will also help her feel a sense of control (i.e., “You can either help put the items in the cart or you can help give them to the clerk”).
And, finally, the little girl should be rewarded for her polite shopping behavior with a great deal of praise (i.e., “You were a very good girl at the store today. You really helped Daddy and I enjoyed spending time with you”).
He might also reward her with a special experience (i.e., “You were so helpful at the store, that we saved enough time to go the park later” or “You were such a great helper today; can you also help daddy make dinner?”). Of course, the reward should not consist of food, since that can lead to various other problems.
There are many more positive parenting tips for this and other difficult parenting scenarios throughout this article, as well as numerous helpful learning resources. In the meantime, it is always wise to remember that your toddler or preschooler does not act the way he/she does in order to torture you— it’s not personal.
There are always underlying reasons for these behaviors. Just keep your cool, plan-ahead, think about your long-term goals, and remember that your adorable little monster will only be this age for a brief time.
Related: Parenting Children with Positive Reinforcement (Examples + Charts)
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Siblings, whether biological; adopted; full or half stepsiblings; often pick at each other endlessly. Arguments between siblings are a normal part of life. However, sometimes the degree of animosity between siblings (e.g., sibling rivalry) can get out of control and interfere with the quality of the relationship. Not to mention creating misery for parents. Plus, there are negative long-term consequences of problematic sibling relationships, such as deviant behavior among older children and teens (Moser & Jacob, 2002).
Sibling rivalry is often complicated, as it is affected by a range of family variables, such as family size, parent-child interactions, parental relationships, children’s genders, birth order, and personality—among others. And it starts really early. Sometimes, as soon as a child realizes a baby brother or sister is on the way, emotions begin to run high. Fortunately, parents have a great opportunity to prepare their children from the start.
For example, the parent can foster a healthy sibling relationship by engaging in open communication about becoming a big brother or sister early on. This should be done in a way that is exciting and supports the child’s new role as the older sibling. Parents can support bonding by allowing the child to feel the baby kick or view ultrasound pictures. They can solicit their child’s help in decorating the baby’s room.
For some families, their newborn baby may be premature or have other medical problems that require time in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). In this situation, which can be quite stressful for siblings, parents should talk to the older child about what’s happening. Parents might also provide the child with updates on the baby’s progress, prepare the child for visits to the NICU, have the child draw a picture to leave with the baby, make a scrapbook for the baby, and set aside plenty of time with the older child (Beavis, 2007).
If the new child is going to be adopted, it is also important to encourage a connection. For example, along with explaining how the adoption will work, the child can be involved in the exciting aspects of the process once it is confirmed. In the case of an older child or international adoption, there are special things parents can do as well.
For example, if a child is in an orphanage, the sibling can help pick-out little gifts to send ahead of time (i.e., a stuffed animal, soft blanket or clothing). Having the child draw a picture and/or write a letter to the new sibling is another way to enhance the relationship. Adopting an older child will require particular preparation; as the new sibling will arrive with his/her own fears, traits, memories, and experiences that will certainly come into play.
There are a number of children’s books designed to help parents prepare their children for a new sibling, such as You Were the First (MacLachlan, 2013), My Sister Is a Monster : Funny Story on Big Brother and New Baby Sister How He Sees Her (Green, 2018), and Look-Look : The New Baby (Mayer, 2001).
There are also children’s books that help prepare children for adopted siblings, with some that are even more focused on the type of adoption. Here are a few examples: Seeds of Love : For Brothers and Sisters of International Adoption (Ebejer Petertyl & Chambers, 1997), A Sister for Matthew : A Story About Adoption (Kennedy, 2006), and Emma’s Yucky Brother (Little, 2002).
Along with the above tips, Amy McCready (2019) provides some excellent suggestions for ending sibling rivalry, these include:
These and other useful tips and resources are available on McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions website . Luckily, by being thoughtful and preparing ahead of time, parents can avoid excessive competition between children and promote meaningful lifelong sibling bonds.
Before discussing positive parenting with teenagers, it is important to remember one key fact: Teens still need and want their parents’ support, affection, and guidance— even if it doesn’t seem like it. Just as with younger kids, parental figures are essential for helping adolescents overcome difficult struggles (Wolin, Desetta & Hefner, 2016).
Indeed, by fostering a sense of mastery and internal locus of control, adults help to empower a teen’s sense of personal responsibility and control over the future (Blaustein & Kinniburgh, 2018). In fact, the presence of nurturing adults who truly listen has been reported among emotionally resilient teens (Wolin et al., 2016).
Positive parenting practices such as quality communication, parental monitoring, and authoritative parenting style also have been found to predict fewer risky behaviors among adolescents (DeVore & Ginsburg, 2005).
As parents of teens know, there are many challenges involved in parenting during this developmental period. Adolescents often find themselves confused about where they fit in the area between adulthood and childhood. They may desire independence, yet lack the maturity and knowledge to execute it safely. They are often frustrated by their bodily changes, acne and mood swings.
Teens may be overwhelmed by school, as well as pressures from parents and peers. Teens may feel bad about themselves and even become anxious or depressed as they try to navigate the various stressors they face.
Many of these difficulties, which certainly need attention from parents, may also make conversations difficult. Parents may feel confused as to how much freedom versus protectiveness is appropriate. The Love and Logic approach (Cline & Faye, 2006) provides some terrific ways for parents to raise responsible, well-adjusted teens.
The authors’ approach for parents involves two fundamental concepts: “Love [which] means giving your teens opportunities to be responsible and empowering them to make their own decisions.” And “Logic [which] means allowing them to live with the natural consequences of their mistakes-and showing empathy for the pain, disappointment, and frustration they’ll experience” (Foster, Cline, & Faye, 2019, hopelbc.com, p. 1).
Just as with young children, the Love and Logic method is a warm and loving way to prepare teens for the future while maintaining a quality relationship with parents.
Another positive parenting approach that is particularly applicable to adolescents is the Teen Triple P Program (Ralph & Sanders, 2004). Triple P (which will be described in a subsequent post) is tailored toward teens and involves teaching parents a variety of skills aimed at increasing their own knowledge and confidence.
The program also promotes various prosocial qualities in teens such as social competence, health, and resourcefulness; such that they will be able to avoid engaging in problem behaviors (e.g., substance use, risky sex, delinquency, Bulimia, etc.). This approach enables parents to replace harsh discipline styles for those that are more nurturing, without being permissive. It aims to minimize parent-teen conflict while providing teens with the tools and ability to make healthy choices (Ralph & Sanders, 2004).
Parents of teens (or future teens) often shudder when considering the dangers and temptations to which their children may be exposed. With a focus specifically on substance use, the Partnership for Drug-free Kids website offers a great deal of information for parents who are either dealing with teen drug use or are doing their best to prevent it.
For example, several suggestions for lowering the probability that a teen will use substances include:
These suggestions are discussed in more detail on the following PDF : Parenting Practices: Help Reduce the Chances Your Child will Develop a Drug or Alcohol Problem (PDK, 2014). By employing these and other positive parenting techniques, you are helping your teenager to become a respectful, well-adjusted and productive member of society.
Divorce has become so common that dealing with it in the best possible way for kids is of vital importance to parents everywhere.
Parental divorce/separation represents a highly stressful experience for children that can have both immediate and long-term negative consequences.
Children of divorce are at increased risk for mental health, emotional, behavioral, and relationship problems (Department of Justice, Government of Canada, 2015).
There is, however, variability in how divorce affects children; with some adverse consequences being temporary, and others continuing well into adulthood. Since we know that divorce does not impact all children equally, the key question becomes: What are the qualities that are most effective for helping children to cope with parental divorce?
There are differences in children’s temperament and other aspects of personality, as well as family demographics, that affect their ability to cope with divorce. But, for present purposes, let’s focus on the aspects of the divorce itself since this is the area parents have the most power to change.
Importantly, the detrimental impact of divorce on kids typically begins well before the actual divorce (Amato, 2000). Thus, it may not be the divorce per se that represents the child risk factor; but rather, the parents’ relationship conflicts and how they are handled. For divorced/divorcing parents, this information is encouraging—as there are things you can do to help your children (and you) remain resilient despite this difficult experience.
There are several divorce-related qualities that make it more difficult for children to adapt to divorce, such as parental hostility and poor cooperation between parents (Amato, 2000); and interpersonal conflict between parents along with continued litigation (Goodman, Bonds, & Sandler, et al., 2005).
Parents dealing with divorce need to make a special effort not to expose their children to conflicts between parents, legal and money related issues, and general animosity. The latter point merits further discussion, as parents often have a difficult time not badmouthing each other in front of (or even directly to) their kids. It is this act of turning a child against a parent that ultimately serves to turn a child against himself (Baker & Ben-Ami, 2011).
Badmouthing the other divorced parent is an alienation strategy, given its aim to alienate the other parent from the child. Such alienation involves any number of criticisms of the other parent in front of the child. This may even include qualities that aren’t necessarily negative, but which can be depicted as such for the sake of enhancing alienation (Baker & Ben-Ami, 2011).
Baker and Ben-Ami (2011) note that parental alienation tactics hurt children by sending the message that the badmouthed parent does not love the child. Also, the child may feel that, because their badmouthed parent is flawed; that he/she is similarly damaged. When a child receives a message of being unlovable or flawed, this negatively affects his/her self-esteem, mood, relationships, and other areas of life ( Baker & Ben-Ami, 2011 ).
An excellent resource for preventing parental alienation is Divorce Poison : How to Protect Your Family from Bad-mouthing and Brainwashing (Warshak, 2010).
Warshak describes how one parent’s criticism of the other may have a highly detrimental impact on the targeted parent’s relationship with his/her child. And such badmouthing absolutely hurts the child. Badmouthed parents who fail to deal with the situation appropriately are at risk of losing the respect of their kids and even contact altogether. Warshak provides effective solutions for bad-mouthed parents to use during difficult situations, such as:
Reasons that parents attempt to manipulate children, as well as behaviors often exhibited by children who have become alienated from one parent, are also described (Warshak, 2010). This book, as well as additional resources subsequently listed, provides hope and solutions for parents who are dealing with the pain of divorce.
Importantly, there are ways to support children in emerging from divorce without long-term negative consequences (i.e., by protecting them from parental animosity). It is in this way that parents can “enable their children to maintain love and respect for two parents who no longer love, and may not respect, each other” (Warshak, 2004-2013, warshak.com).
Positive parenting is an effective style of raising kids that is suitable for pretty much all types of parents and children. This article contains a rich and extensive collection of positive parenting research and resources; with the goal of arming caregivers with the tools to prevent or tackle a multitude of potential challenges. And, of course, to foster wellness and healthy development in children.
Here are the article’s key takeaways:
Considering the many positive parenting solutions and resources currently available, parents can approach their role as teachers, leaders, and positive role models with confidence and optimism. And, ultimately, by consistently applying positive parenting strategies; parents will experience a deep and meaningful connection with their children that will last a lifetime. ?
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I am currently a student in occupational therapy and I am in the process of completing my dissertation for my degree, focusing on positive parenting and its impact on children with ADHD. Recently, I purchased a book that contained a QR code leading me to your article. Would it be possible to receive the DOI and the PDF of this article via email, please?
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Thank you for compiling this research. It was truly helpful in getting started on a positive path.
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I am also writing a paper. When citing this article, should I use 2019 or 2023 as the date? Thank you!
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Great article. I really liked. I will share this article with my school.
I totally agree with many different points has written in this useful article, I spent several days to complete it,, but it was really worthy especially what you mentioned here about model of parenting. Thank your for all details and sources you wrote up there and waiting for your new things coming up.
i love your blog and always like new things coming up from it.
Positive parenting is key for a happy family! I totally agree that positive parenting promotes effective, joyful parenting of kids of all ages. The most important things about such a model of parenting are to know your kid’s friends, being a positive role model in terms of your own coping mechanisms and use of alcohol and medication, and building a supportive and warm relationship with your child. We are responsible for the future generation, therefore raising happy and good person is a must!
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Parenting advice is an impenetrable maze of dos and don’ts, but these studies provide scientific tips on the best way to raise children and be a parent.
Parenting advice is an impenetrable maze of dos and don’ts, but these studies provide tips from psychology on the best way to raise children and be a parent.
One of the many reasons parenting is an impossible job is that everyone is giving you advice, and much of it is rubbish.
Frankly, it’s amazing we’ve all made it this far.
So, bucking the trend of random anecdote and superstition, here are twelve psychology studies about parenting that every parent should know.
First some good news for those worried about the burdens of parenting.
In recent years, some studies have suggested that the pleasures of parenting are outweighed by the pains.
“Ha!” said parents to themselves, secretly, “I knew it!”
Not so fast though: research has found that, on average, parents feel better than non-parents each day and derive more pleasure from parenting than from other activities ( Nelson et al.,. 2013 ).
Fathers, in particular, derive high levels of positive emotions and happiness from parenting.
Underlining the pleasures of parenting, research finds that child-centric attitudes are beneficial.
A psychology study by Ashton-James et al. (2013) found that parents who were the most child-centric were also happier and derived greater meaning in life from parenting.
Performing child-care activities was associated with greater meaning and fewer negative feelings.
“These findings suggest that the more care and attention people give to others, the more happiness and meaning they experience. From this perspective, the more invested parents are in their children’s well-being — that is, the more ‘child centric’ parents are — the more happiness and meaning they will derive from parenting.” (Ashton-James et al., 2013)
So, what’s good for your kids, is also good for you and your parenting.
Parents who encourage their offspring to express their emotions raise happier children, psychological research finds ( McKee et al., 2019 ).
When parents support emotional expression, young adults experience less depression and anxiety.
They are also more mindful, better able to regulate their attention and more open and accepting towards themselves and the world.
Children need ’emotional socialisation’: the ability to understand and deal with one’s own emotions.
Key parenting skills that achieve this include listening, giving comfort and helping children to solve problems.
As with many things in life, though, it’s a fine line between caring and smothering; especially when children have grown up.
Schiffrin et al. (2013) asked 297 undergraduate students about their parents’ behaviour and how they felt about it.
The study found links between ‘helicopter parenting’ and higher levels of depression amongst the students, as well as lower levels of autonomy, relatedness and competence.
“Parents should keep in mind how developmentally appropriate their involvement is and learn to adjust their parenting style when their children feel that they are hovering too closely.” (Schiffrin et al., 2013)
Other studies have also suggested that helicopter parenting raises maladjusted children.
Around 90 percent of American parents admit at least one instance of using strict verbal discipline with their children, such as calling names or swearing at them.
Rather than helping keep adolescents in line, though, be aware that this may just exacerbate the problem.
A child psychology study of 967 US families and their parenting found that harsh verbal discipline at 13-years-old predicted worse behaviour in the next year ( Wang et al., 2013 ).
And it didn’t help if parents had a strong bond with their children.
The study’s lead author Ming-Te Wang explained:
“The notion that harsh discipline is without consequence, once there is a strong parent-child bond–that the adolescent will understand that ‘they’re doing this because they love me’–is misguided because parents’ warmth didn’t lessen the effects of harsh verbal discipline. Indeed, harsh verbal discipline appears to be detrimental in all circumstances.”
Studies also find that harsh parenting practices when children are small is linked to smaller brain structures in adolescence.
Regular bedtimes really matter to children’s developing brains, psychology research on parenting finds.
Researchers followed 11,000 children from when they were 3-years old to the age of 7 to measure the effects of bedtimes on cognitive function ( Kelly et al., 2013 ).
The researchers found that:
“…irregular bedtimes at 3 years of age were associated with lower scores in reading, maths, and spatial awareness in both boys and girls, suggesting that around the age of 3 could be a sensitive period for cognitive development.”
Regular bedtimes are important for both boys and girls and the earlier these can be implemented, the better for cognitive performance.
Bringing up happy children is easier if Mum and Dad’s relationship isn’t too rocky.
One frequent bone of contention between parents is the chores.
A trick for achieving marital satisfaction over the chores is to do them together.
When partners perform their chores at the same time–no matter who is doing what — both people are more satisfied with the division of labour ( Galovan et al., 2013 ).
Getting the children involved in chores is also a positive parenting step.
Surprisingly, it is good parenting to allow children to see negative emotions like anger and frustration, psychology research finds ( Karnilowicz et al., 2018 ).
Many parents, though, try to hide all conflicts from their children.
However, children often know when their parents are trying to hide conflict and it confuses them.
They know something is wrong, but see no change in their parent’s behaviour, which is confusing.
Better, say psychologists, to allow children to see healthy conflict and how it is resolved — that is good parenting.
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children should watch no more than two hours of TV per day after two years of age, and none before that age.
Here’s why: a study that followed almost 2,000 Canadian children from birth found that an extra hour’s TV viewing at 2.5-years-old predicted worse performance later when they attended kindergarten ( Pagani et al., 2013 ).
The more children exceeded this recommendation at 2.5 years old, the worse their vocabulary, math and motor skills were at 5-years-old.
Kids are increasingly sedentary and, as I frequently write here on PsyBlog, exercise is a wonderful way to boost brain power, and it has many other benefits.
A study of 11-year-olds has found that moderate to vigorous exercise was associated with increased academic performance in English, Maths and Science ( Booth et al., 2013 ).
These gains from exercise were also seen in exams taken at 16-years-old.
Interestingly, girls’ science results benefited the most from extra exercise.
Some women say that parenting is more stressful than being at work.
There are strong links between parenting and stress and guilt.
How can we square this with the reports and research findings that children fill your life with joy and meaning?
It may be down to differences in attitudes to parenting.
In particular, being an ‘intense mother’ may be bad for you.
In their child psychology study of 181 mothers of children under 5, Rizzo et al. (2012) found that mothers who most strongly endorsed the idea that children were sacred and that women are better parents than men, were more likely to be depressed and experience less satisfaction with life.
Yes, nurture your children, but don’t sacrifice your own mental health.
Anyone with more than one child will have noticed a curious thing: their personalities are often very dissimilar.
In fact, according to a study by Plomin and Daniels (1987) , siblings have no more in common in their personalities than two completely unrelated strangers.
This is very weird given that 50 percent of their genetic code is identical.
The answer isn’t in the genes at all, but in the environment in which children grow up.
Far from having the same environments, each child has:
…and so on.
And all these differences add up to quite remarkable dissimilarities between siblings — often such that if they didn’t look alike, you’d never know they were related.
All this means, of course, that because their personalities are often so different, parenting strategies that work with one child, may not work with another.
It’s just one more challenge of parenting!
Psychologist, Jeremy Dean, PhD is the founder and author of PsyBlog. He holds a doctorate in psychology from University College London and two other advanced degrees in psychology. He has been writing about scientific research on PsyBlog since 2004. View all posts by Dr Jeremy Dean
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Scientific Reports volume 14 , Article number: 20375 ( 2024 ) Cite this article
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During the COVID-19 pandemic, the online delivery model became the primary mode of education. With multiple pressures on society and families, mental health issues for parents have become particularly pronounced. Most of the current research has focused on the psychological state of education practitioners and children, with little attention to parents’ mental health issues. Therefore, this study explored the attitudes and coping styles of parents who experienced the process of their children being taught online over a long period and the factors influencing their mental health. This cross-sectional study was conducted between November 2021 and January 2022, using an anonymous online questionnaire to survey 1500 parents with children aged 6–13 years. The Chinese versions of the Patient Health Questionnaire Depression Scale (PHQ-9), the Parenting Stress Scale (PSS), the General Mental Health Questionnaire (GHQ-12), and the Brief Coping Style Scale (SCSQ), and a related factors questionnaire were used to survey the subjects. The normal distribution of the data was examined using the Shapiro–Wilk method. A multivariate regression analysis was conducted to identify factors significantly associated with parental mental health during the COVID-19 pandemic. Only 30.24% of parents agreed with online classes during the pandemic, and 52.28% used positive coping methods during stressful situations. Multivariate regression models identified significant factors associated with parental mental health: parent’s gender, child’s grade level, perceived stress about online classes, whether the child has ADHD, positive or negative coping styles, and subjective attitudes of support for online classes or not. The results of the study suggest that as online classes become more socially acceptable, it is necessary to be concerned about the risk of mental illness for parents and develop policies and interventions, especially for parents who adopt negative coping styles and endorse online classes. The focus should be on the stress of online classes on parents, improving the acceptance of online classes and psychological well-being, regulating the way parents deal with their children, and targeting subgroups of children with ADHD symptoms during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Introduction.
Neoconiosis is a serious respiratory disease caused by infection with the novel coronavirus SARS-COV-2, known as COVID-19. Since 2019, COVID-19 has created a global pandemic, posing a significant threat to global public health 1 . Although the case fatality rate of COVID-19 has been estimated at 2–3%, which is considerably lower than that of Severe Acute Respiratory Syndromes (SARS) (approximately 10%) and Middle East Respiratory Syndrome (MERS) (approximately 40%) 2 , 3 , 4 , its impact has been profound. The virus has an extremely high transmission rate through the respiratory tract and close contact. As of 15 March 2020, COVID-19 has spread rapidly to 34 provinces and cities in China, while 144 countries/regions in five continents worldwide have reported cases of infection to varying degrees 5 . Thus, the COVID-19 pandemic in recent years has posed a significant challenge to the entire society and every individual’s life.
With the global spread of COVID-19, education in China and worldwide is facing a considerable challenge. Anticipating the high transmission rate of the virus, the crowded nature of public places such as campuses, and the low immunity profile of adolescents, the Chinese government enacted a series of responses, of which the use of online learning became a typical result of the COVID-19 pandemic 6 , 7 . While such initiatives have played a large part in preventing and controlling the pandemic, the impact on the parent and child side of the online delivery context is currently varied. Means et al. argue that online learning is an educational tool based on technological devices and the Internet in an era of rapid development 8 . Tallent-Runnels et al. are similarly optimistic that technological innovations and the continued growth of Internet accessibility can increase the motivation to learn online 9 . By contrast, however, Joshi et al. found that the pedagogical outcomes of online learning are controversial and that online learning directly contributes to the lack of face-to-face interaction between students and teachers 10 . Research has shown that effective online education requires high-quality means for designing and assessing online courses and that the operators, the teachers who deliver the courses online, are equally required in terms of proficiency in the use of Internet equipment, etc 11 , 12 . Unfortunately, many educational institutions lack a careful design and development process for the transition of teaching models 13 , and the online education experience during the pandemic has suffered from varying degrees of skepticism and rejection 14 .
During the COVID-19 pandemic, the conflict between the educational format and the students translated in different ways and to varying degrees into multifaceted stress and family conflicts for parents. On the one hand, online instruction placed greater demands on the technology of connecting to the Internet, as a great challenge for many economically disadvantaged households, especially with the economic depression induced by the pandemic. Students from different family backgrounds faced different feedback on their online learning, even with the same willingness to learn. In particular, younger students 15 , 16 , students from immigrant backgrounds 17 , and students from families with a low socioeconomic status 18 encountered more difficulties with distance learning. At the same time, the prolonged online mode of delivery poses a risk of increased exposure of learners to screens, impacting young people’s visual health. The lack of teacher and parental supervision is another challenge, especially for young learners. The disadvantaged, weaker learners, requiring more supervision and guidance from their elders, face significant difficulties in this learning environment. Beyond China, the pandemic and the closure of schools have profoundly affected the mental health of students worldwide 19 . Empirical studies in Bangladesh, China, France, Greece, the UK, and the USA have found that a large proportion of students suffer from varying degrees of mental disorders 20 , 21 , 22 . Many students experiencing the online delivery model over a long period report suffering from depression, anxiety, distress, and even suicidal thoughts 23 , 24 . Interestingly, this academic mental health problem of adolescents is, to some extent, transferred to their parents. Due to multiple issues, such as the inadaptability of the online mode of delivery and socioeconomic pressures, the academic burden of the children leads to different aspects of psychological feedback and coping for the parents.
Apart from the financial pressures on some families, parents and children in the context of their different formative years show very different attitudes and behavioral patterns toward the use and efficacy of electronic devices. This phenomenon has been particularly notable in online education during the COVID-19 pandemic. According to Soykan, parents emphasize the expected dangers of using technology for academic performance 25 . The epidemic forced parents to take on an additional task: supervising children during class, especially at basic and primary levels. Research on emergency distance learning during the COVID-19 pandemic has shown reduced interactions between teachers and students 26 , with the ability of students to learn independently and actively being crucial to students’ academic performance 27 . Hale, Troxel, and Buysse surveyed online teaching and concluded that parents were disappointed in helping their children focus and participate in virtual classrooms 28 . The study reported emotional and behavioral problems (i.e., anxiety, irritability, and distraction) observed by parents in their children and adolescents due to the epidemic 29 . These phenomena are particularly significant in adolescents with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Some relevant studies have shown that adolescents with ADHD find it more difficult to adapt to the online teaching mode compared to their peers and often exhibit problems such as motivation problems and executive dysfunction 30 . ADHD children face significant challenges in online learning environments, including attention, task organization, and completion difficulties. The lack of face-to-face supervision and structure can make it harder for them to adapt and participate in learning activities. Additionally, the demands for self-discipline and time management in online learning pose further obstacles for these children 31 . Parents often bear different levels of pressure and mental health problems due to the problems associated with electronic equipment, anxiety about performance under online learning, and comprehensive social pressure during the COVID-19 pandemic. Research has shown that parents have greater responsibility and participation in their children’s learning in a distance learning environment than in regular classroom teaching 32 . This is a vicious circle of contradictions, wherein the various forms of pressure on parents may affect how students experience a new learning environment: the greater the pressure their parents feel, the more negative their views of distance learning become.
Under enormous social and economic pressure, the threat of COVID-19 infection, and the anxiety about children’s academic performance, parents experience mental health problems to varying degrees, which impact their social development. Studies have shown that home isolation, economic hardship, despair, and loneliness during the COVID-19 pandemic also increased the risk of mental illness and suicide 33 , 34 . Social isolation is usually closely related to physical and mental health issues 35 . Such mental health problems often have an inseparable relationship with the parents’ attitudes toward online teaching during the COVID-19 pandemic and the measures taken, which are often unavoidable. However, no scholars have yet reported on this phenomenon.
Therefore, this study investigated the parents’ sociodemographic information and mental health scoring variables (depression level, parenting stress, general psychological state, and coping style) to analyze differences in parental mental health and their related factors under different coping styles and attitudes toward online courses and explore how factors such as children’s ADHD symptoms, parents’ attitudes toward online courses, and parents’ coping styles affect parents’ mental health, in an attempt to provide effective guidance on parental mental health issues in the post-pandemic era and the emerging wave of online education.
This cross-sectional study surveyed the parents of young children. In the context of the COVID-19 pandemic and the prevalence of online classes, parents’ mental health variables, including depression levels, parental stress, general psychological status, and coping styles, were measured using an anonymous online survey, and their children’s ADHD symptoms were measured through parent ratings. Ethical approval for this study was obtained from the Ethics Committee of Kangning Hospital, Ningbo, Zhejiang Province, China (No. NBKNYY-2021-LC-1). A random sample of six primary schools in Ningbo, Zhejiang Province and Yuhuan County, Zhejiang Province were selected for data collection from November 2021 to January 2022. The purpose and content of the survey were explained to each respondent, and a digital informed consent form was provided for the study. All the respondents completed the questionnaire anonymously.
During this period, China adopted strict measures to control the spread of the COVID-19 36 . Especially in Zhejiang Province, including Ningbo City and Yuhuan County, the government and education departments quickly adapted to the changing situation, ensuring the continuity of education while prioritizing public health. Therefore, many schools in China still used online learning modes due to the ongoing impact of the COVID-19 pandemic. In primary schools in Ningbo City and Yuhuan County, Zhejiang Province, these regions benefited from relatively developed digital infrastructure. Schools were equipped with the necessary technology, allowing students to access the internet and use digital devices, although there were still differences. Platforms such as DingTalk, WeChat, and specialized educational applications were widely used for teaching and maintaining communication between teachers, students, and parents 37 , 38 . Concurrently, teachers received training on effectively using online teaching tools and methods. Additionally, a support system was established to assist parents and students in coping with the new educational model.
The questionnaires were completed anonymously in online class groups, and the participants were selected from different regions. The inclusion criteria were: (i) parents of children studying in Ningbo or Yuhuan County, Zhejiang Province, China, before the COVID-19 outbreak and currently, including primary school students and junior high school students; (ii) a child age of 6–13 years. Only parents participated in this survey; children did not directly participate.
Our study’s sample size was determined based on established principles in international questionnaire design. These guidelines suggest that the sample size should be approximately 5 to 20 times the number of items in the questionnaire to ensure adequate data representation and reliability 39 , 40 . Anticipating the possibility of non-responses or invalid questionnaires, which typically account for about 10% of the total surveys distributed 41 , we increased our target sample size by 10%. Therefore, the final sample size was set at 5.5 times the number of questionnaire items, ensuring that even with the anticipated rate of non-response or invalidity, we would still have a sufficiently large sample to maintain the robustness of our study’s findings. Given that our study comprised 153 items, the minimum sample size was calculated at 842 (153 items × 5.5).
In the end, 1500 questionnaires were distributed, and 1454 questionnaires were returned, yielding a response rate of 96.93%. Among these questionnaires, 138 had more than 30% missing data and logical errors and were thus recorded as invalid. There were 1,316 valid questionnaires, resulting in an effective completion rate of 90.51%.
The general questionnaire comprised two main sections. The first part of the survey concerned sociodemographic information such as child grade, parent gender, parent education, online class approval or not, online class pressure, children’s ADHD type, and parents’ perceived source of their emotional impact (i.e., whether they believed their emotional impact was due to the pandemic or their child’s online classes). The specific question was: “If you feel that your emotions are affected, do you think it is due to the pandemic, your child’s online learning, or both?” Children’s ADHD type was rated by the parent version of the SNAP-IV rating scale 42 . The categories were as follows: attention deficit dominant (≥ 6 items on the Attention Deficit Subscale 2 or 3 only), hyperactivity/impulsivity dominant (≥ 6 items on the Hyperactivity/Impulsivity Subscale 2 or 3 only), and ADHD-C (≥ 6 items on both the Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity/Impulsivity Subscale 2 or 3).
The second part concerned the mental health rating variables, including depression level, parental stress, general psychological state, and coping styles, measured by the Patient Health Questionnaire Depression Scale (PHQ-9) (0–27), the Parental Stress Scale (PSS), the General Mental Health Questionnaire (GHQ-12) (0–12), and the Brief Coping Style Scale (SCSQ). These scales have exhibited good reliability and validity in previous studies 43 , 44 , 45 , 46 . These scales are classified as follows: PHQ-9: normal (0–4), mild (5–9), moderate to severe (10–14), and severe (20–27); PSS: normal (< 86), critical high (86–90), high (91–98), and very high (> 98); GHQ-12: high risk (98); GHQ-12 high (86o–3), and low risk (0–1); SCSQ: positive coping (coping tendency > 0), negative coping (coping tendency < 0), where coping tendency = positive coping standard score (Z score)—negative coping standard score (Z score), and the standard score is Z-transformed using the mean and standard deviation of positive coping style and negative coping style.
To ensure the reliability and consistency of the questionnaire results, psychiatrists explained the purpose of the survey and administered it to participants. A pre-test was conducted before the main survey to explore the questionnaire’s psychometric properties, such as reliability and validity. The pre-test involved a small group of participants similar to the main study’s target population. After completing the pre-test questionnaire, the researchers collected the responses, entered the data, and performed an initial analysis to identify any issues with the questionnaire items. This process helped refine the questionnaire and ensure the quality of the answers in the main survey.
After logic checking and proofreading, we used R-4.2.1 (an open-source programming language) and Rstudio for Windows (an open-source IDE) to process and analyze the data. We first conducted a descriptive analysis of the social demographic characteristics of the participants (Table 1 ) and a descriptive analysis of the continuous variables (PSS, PHQ-9, GHQ-12, and SCSQ) (Table 2 ).
The Shapiro–Wilk test 47 was used to test the normality of each variable. In addition, Spearman’s rank correlation analysis 48 was used to investigate the correlations between the variables (Table 3 ). Spearman’s rank correlation analysis was adopted because it is applicable to data with non-normal distribution and can effectively evaluate the monotonic relationship between two variables. Its results are more reliable than the chi-squared test, especially when the data are skewed. Ultimately, this study conducted a univariate intergroup analysis on each variable based on whether the parents agreed to online classes and the parents’ coping styles (Table 4 ). The purpose was to explore the differences in parental mental health and related factors among different groups and determine possible influencing factors.
In the multiple regression analysis, we examined the impact of various independent variables on the psychological health of parents (i.e., PSS, PHQ, and GHQ) under different coping styles and attitudes toward online courses. Specifically, we studied the effects of different coping styles (negative or positive) on parental mental health and related factors (Table 5 ). Additionally, we explored how different attitudes toward online courses (disapproving vs. approving) influenced parental mental health and related factors (Table 6 ). The purpose of the multiple regression analysis was to reveal the impact of each variable on the parents’ mental health and related factors and provide a basis for interventive measures.
The main objectives of this study were to analyze the differences in parental mental health and its associated factors across coping styles and attitudes toward online classes, as well as to explore how factors such as children with ADHD symptoms, parental attitudes toward online classes, and parental coping styles affect parental mental health. We hope to provide strong references and recommendations for improving parental mental health through these analyses.
It is particularly noteworthy that this work considered p -values of < 0.05 statistically significant.
The survey, which included 1316 participants, revealed that only a minority of parents supported online classes during the pandemic. The majority adopted positive coping methods during stressful situations. Table 1 presents detailed demographic information about the parents and their children, including grade levels, gender distribution, age ranges, and educational attainment. Additionally, Table 1 outlines the parents’ perceptions of online classes, their levels of stress, sources of emotional stress, and the types of ADHD diagnosed in their children.
Table 2 presents the distribution characteristics of scores on the PSS, PHQ-9, GHQ-12, and SCSQ scales, indicating that the scores did not conform to a normal distribution regarding skewness, kurtosis, and extreme value distribution ratios.
Table 3 details the correlations between sociodemographic characteristics and mental health variables, highlighting several significant associations. Key findings include: (1) Parental stress correlated significantly with the child’s grade and parent’s gender, educational level, approval of online classes, stress due to online classes, and sources of emotional stress; (2) PHQ-9 scores showed significant associations with the child’s grade and parental age, education, approval of online classes, online class stress, and sources of emotional stress; (3) GHQ-12 scores were significantly linked to the child’s grade and parental age, education, online class recognition, online class stress, and emotional sources; (4) SCSQ scores correlated with parental gender, approval of online classes, and stress from online classes; (5) ADHD was significantly associated with the child’s achievements and parental gender, recognition of online classes, stress from online classes, and emotional sources.
These correlations provided the basis for the subsequent analysis and are comprehensively detailed in Table 3 .
Table 4 shows the results of single-factor analyses of survey data, highlighting significant differences based on parental approval of online classes and the type of coping strategy adopted. The key findings are: (1) Parental approval of online classes: Significant differences were observed between parents who disapproved and those who approved of online classes in terms of online class pressure, emotional sources, and scores on the PSS, PHQ-9, and GHQ-12 scales ( p < 0.001 for all); (2) Coping strategies: Parents adopting positive coping strategies (SCSQ > 0) showed significant differences in PSS, PHQ-9, and GHQ-12 scores compared to those using negative coping strategies (SCSQ < 0), with p < 0.001 for all comparisons. No significant differences were found in terms of sociodemographic characteristics or other factors. These analyses underscore the impact of online class approval and coping strategies on parental stress and mental health, as detailed in Table 4 .
The study used multiple regression to analyze parental coping styles, attitudes toward online courses, and their impact on mental health, including the PSS, PHQ-9, and GHQ-12 dimensions, as detailed in Tables 5 and 6 . The findings are summarized below.
The results from Table 5 are as follows: For negative coping, PSS scores were significantly associated with parental gender, online classroom stress, and ADHD type. Female parents and parents experiencing lower stress levels in online classrooms had lower PSS scores. Parents of children without ADHD symptoms also had lower PSS scores compared to those with the combined ADHD type; PHQ-9 scores were significantly associated with the child’s grade and parental education, online classroom agreement, and emotional source. Higher PHQ-9 scores were noted among parents of older children, parents with higher education, those agreeing to online classes, and those influenced by both COVID-19 and online learning. GHQ-12 scores were significantly associated with the child’s grade and parental education, online classroom agreement, and emotional source. Higher GHQ-12 scores were found among parents of older children, parents with higher education, those agreeing to online classes, and those influenced by both COVID-19 and online learning. For positive coping, PSS scores were associated with parental education and online classroom stress. Parents with higher education and those with lower online classroom stress had lower PSS scores. PHQ-9 scores correlated with the child’s grade, online classroom stress, and ADHD type. Parents of older children, those with lower online classroom stress, and those with children without ADHD symptoms had lower PHQ-9 scores. GHQ-12 scores correlated with online classroom stress and ADHD type. Parents with lower online classroom stress and those with children without ADHD symptoms had lower GHQ-12 scores.
Table 6 further compares the results of multiple regressions under different attitudes toward coping with online classes.
Concerning PSS scores, among parents disapproving of online classes, those aged 38–45 had higher scores, while college-educated parents had lower scores. Among approving parents, moderate online classroom stress and higher SCSQ scores were associated with lower PSS scores. Concerning PHQ-9 scores, among disapproving parents, those with a postgraduate degree had higher scores. Among approving parents, higher scores were noted for parents of older children and those with high online classroom stress, while higher SCSQ scores were linked to lower PHQ-9 scores. Regarding GHQ-12 scores, among disapproving parents, those with children having attention deficit ADHD had higher scores. Among approving parents, higher scores were observed for parents of older children and those with high online classroom stress, while higher SCSQ scores correlated with lower GHQ-12 scores.
These analyses illustrate the complex relationships between parental coping styles, attitudes toward online classes, and various mental health dimensions. Detailed results are presented in Tables 5 and 6 .
Since the gradual outbreak of COVID-19 in late 2019, the virus has exhibited an unimaginably high level of infectiousness 49 . As of 3 April 2020, there had been at least 52,869 deaths and 10,066 confirmed cases of COVID-19 infection; by 18 May 2020, the number of confirmed cases had increased to 4,679,511, with 315,005 deaths. Frighteningly, these numbers rapidly increased, with many people having secondary infections 50 . The rapid spread of COVID-19 worldwide posed a serious challenge to the entire human population on many fronts: health, economic, environmental, and social. The impact on the education sector has been particularly significant: to avoid the mass gathering of young students, most schools were forced to opt out of the face-to-face mode of delivery and instead turn to online learning. Although online learning is not new, this massive, long-term paradigm shift presented significant challenges for children and parents alike 51 . Sun et al. indicated that students subjected to the online delivery mode for a long time since the spread of COVID-19 were more likely to fall behind in their grades and be affected by various aspects of psychological stress 52 . The impact on pupils can easily be passed on to parents to varying degrees, becoming a psychological burden and challenge. However, much of the current research is based on the perspective of educators and children, often ignoring the attitudes and mental health factors of the parents.
In a multifactorial study of the impact of parental attitudes and coping styles on mental health in the context of online delivery during the COVID-19 pandemic, parents’ agreement with online delivery was only 30.24%, and 52.28% adopted positive coping styles in times of stress. We found that the significant factors for parental mental health (measured as PSS, PHQ-9, and GHQ-12 quantitative values) were parental gender, the child’s grade, perceived stress about online classes, whether the child has ADHD, positive or negative coping styles, and subjective attitudes toward supporting online classes. This study separately examined the influence of individual child characteristics and subjective parental attitudes and behavioral patterns on their mental health.
The analysis of children’s ADHD subtypes revealed that the regression coefficients for the quantified values of parental psychological problems were significantly lower for parents of children without ADHD compared to parents of children with mixed ADHD symptoms (Tables 5 and 6 ). However, it is noteworthy that the regression coefficient was positive when parents disagreed with online classes, which might be due to subjective negative parental attitudes masking the impact of the child with ADHD on the parent’s mental health. ADHD, whose main symptoms are inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity, is one of the most common psychiatric disorders, with a prevalence of 4‒6% in children and adolescents 53 , 54 and 5.6% in this study (Table 1 ). Interestingly, the mental health impact of children with ADHD on their parents was similar across time. One study on the parents of children with ADHD found that such parents were at greater risk of developing psychopathology 55 . This type of phenomenon showed a more pronounced trend during the COVID-19 pandemic in the context of a long-term home isolation policy and multiple social pressures. The unfamiliarity with electronic devices, concerns about performance in online classes, and the hyperactivity and inattention of children with ADHD symptoms continue to impact parents’ psychological defenses, ultimately leading to a range of mental health problems. Research has shown that the majority of children with ADHD (40‒60%) exhibit both oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) and/or conduct disorder 56 . This oppositional psychology or behavior toward elders was often amplified in the online mode of instruction during the COVID-19 pandemic due to the long hours spent together.
In addition, this study found significant effects on parents’ mental health when their children were in the middle and upper grades. Interestingly, the higher grades did not increase parental stress but instead increased parental depression and reduced the general psychological state of GHQ-12 scores of the parents (Tables 5 and 6 ). In a study on the consistency of parental anxiety with children, it was reported that in 76% of the parents in the sample who suffered from depressive psychological problems, the children tended also to have some mental health problems. This was often an indirect link, and this effect was not found in younger children 57 . In the context of the COVID-19 pandemic, the online mode of delivery led to varying degrees of adaptation and concerns about academic performance, often creating a state of stress and anxiety among students, particularly in the context of the long-term home isolation policy. Often, as students progress through the grades, the burden of schoolwork and the pressure to progress to higher education intensifies this phenomenon. Parents who either respond positively or negatively to online classes, with some threat to employment, salary packages, etc., all expressed concerns about online classes, especially when their children were at some critical point in their senior years. Several studies have found that the correlation between psychological problems such as parental and child depression increases with the child’s age 58 , 59 . Even parents who have some reservations about the online mode of instruction for their younger children show some tolerance and emotion compared to their attitudes toward the online instruction of their middle and upper school children, contributing to a relatively relaxed state of mind and psychological situation. Although parents who experience depression and other psychological states in the face of heavy academic pressure on their children in the upper grades are often less able to cope with the difficulties of the upper grades and the gradual expression of their children’s sense of autonomy, the parental pressure in this situation is not significant 60 , 61 .
This study focused on the impact of long-term online teaching of children on parental mental health during the COVID-19 pandemic, specifically regarding parents adopting two distinctly different behavioral approaches, negative or positive. The univariate group comparisons in Table 4 show that parental adoption of positive coping resulted in significantly lower mean scores on the PSS, PHQ-9, and GHQ-12 (109.37–98.66, 11.33–10.11, and 3.17–2.57). During the global spread of the virus, the fear of getting sick inspired more negative emotions dominated by stress, anxiety, and other psychological disorders 62 . A study in Iran showed that 34.8%, 32.2%, and 29% of the adult population in the Yazd region had negative psychological symptoms such as stress, anxiety, and depression, respectively, during the COVID-19 pandemic 63 . Health concerns, accompanied by economic stagnation and various aspects of the child’s schooling, have resulted in strong negative psychological feedback from parents during the COVID-19 period, especially in a negative way. With this negative behavioral approach, accompanied by a distrust of electronic devices and online delivery modes, parents often voice doubts about the effectiveness of their children’s lessons. However, the parental pressure and anxiety brought about by this pandemic can easily demotivate students and discourage them from learning 64 . Children who lose interest in learning will eventually regress in the long-term online mode, and this vicious circle will further feed parents’ frustration with the online mode. As shown in Table 5 , in the multiple regression results for parental mental health and its correlates under different coping styles, we found an interesting phenomenon: among parents who maintained a negative coping style, men tended to show high levels of parental stress significance (i.e., a decrease of 2.03 for women compared to men), and the parents with a positive coping style did not show significant gender-differentiated behavior. In addition, the lower the level of stress parents experienced from online classes was, the lower the regression coefficients were for the quantitative values of parental psychological problems. Furthermore, parents who maintained a positive coping style had higher regression coefficients compared to those with negative coping styles (Table 5 ). Active parental involvement in family education is crucial to the child’s development 65 , and it is relatively easier to maintain a healthy psychological level in such a benign parenting relationship. Pratama et al. showed through a study of parental feedback in the face of home-based online classes during the pandemic 66 that positive parental coping in the face of a long-term online delivery model is an effective safeguard for advancing children’s learning progress, which forms, to some degree, a virtuous cycle.
It is also worth noting, as shown in Table 4 , that subjective parental disapproval of online instruction resulted in significantly lower means scores on the PSS, PHQ-9, and GHQ-12 (108.85–102.27, 11.45–10.45, and 3.41–2.66). Thus, in addition to the differential impact of how parents respond to long-term online classes, the subjective willingness or unwillingness to support online classes showed a similarly significant impact. Although some have argued that parental involvement in the child’s learning experience during COVID-19 is unprecedented, the fact is that parental behavioral interference and even subjective attitudes have a profound impact on the child’s learning and have done so for decades 67 , 68 , 69 . Plowman et al. showed that children’s online learning requires more subjective support and assistance from parents than formal supervision 70 . Our analysis revealed that when parents reported subjective agreement with online classes, their perception of low stress associated with these classes was more negatively correlated with levels of psychological well-being than when they disagreed with online classes (as rated by the PSS, PHQ, and GHQ) (Table 6 ). A 2019 study found that parents’ attitudes toward their children’s online learning affected the quality of their children’s learning 71 and that children’s learning often feeds back to some extent on the parents’ mental health state. The above phenomenon may be because the expectations of these parents are more aligned with reality. They may have a negative perception of online delivery, so their expectations of its effectiveness are lower. As a result, they may feel less stress and disappointment when reality meets their expectations. Conversely, parents who identify with online delivery may have higher expectations and feel more stress and disappointment when reality does not meet those expectations.
Finally, parents should show a more tolerant and supportive attitude to the online teaching model for students during COVID-19, even in the face of the many stressors that arise at home. With the rapid development of technology and the spread of new electronic devices in modern society, this online mode of delivery will not just be a significant feature of the COVID-19 period but will gradually become more common in the future. A range of theories derived from motivation research, such as self-determination theory 72 , expectancy-value theory 73 , and achievement goal theory 74 , suggest that active involvement in children’s learning processes, with the intervention of a facilitator and the provision of some external motivators, can effectively address the psychological factors that influence learner motivation, engagement, and learning. Therefore, it is only by being more optimistic and accepting of new things and by motivating their children to varying degrees that parents can guide their children to adjust to their mental health.
We analyzed the differences in parental mental health and its correlates across coping styles and attitudes toward online classes and explored how factors such as children with ADHD symptoms, parental attitudes toward online classes, and parental coping styles all affect parental mental health. The results suggest that, at a time when online delivery is becoming socially acceptable, attention must be paid to the risk of mental illness it poses to parents. In addition, policies and interventions need to be developed to increase parental acceptance of online delivery. It is hoped that this study can provide effective guidance on parental mental health issues in the post-pandemic era and the emerging wave of online education. In addition, the results of this study are based on a relatively large sample drawn from a randomized whole group and may partially reflect the mental health characteristics of parents of school-aged children aged 6‒13 years in China between pandemics and, to some extent, represent the sociological characteristics of parents suffering from mental health problems under the pressure of online delivery. The present results may serve as a reference for countries with similar cultural backgrounds.
However, our study has several limitations. First, this study is a cross-sectional survey limited in its ability to provide longitudinal judgments of the development of parental mental disorder characteristics, and longitudinal prospective observations may be considered in the future. In addition, the parenting stress, general mental health, and depression scales included in the survey contain a wide range of behaviors of varying clinical relevance, and some atypical behaviors may not be captured by these scales. Furthermore, there is a significant imbalance in group sizes between children with normal ADHD and those with other types of ADHD, which might affect the generalizability and precision of our findings. This imbalance highlights the need for larger sample sizes for each ADHD subtype in future research. Despite combining all other types of ADHD into one group for analysis, the imbalance remains, and this issue should be addressed in future studies.
Few reports are available on parents’ mental health factors against the background of long-term online teaching during COVID-19. Therefore, in this study, we conducted a multifactorial survey on the impact of parents’ attitudes and coping styles on their mental health in this context. The results showed that during the COVID-19 pandemic in China, facing the long-term online teaching mode, parents of senior children and children with ADHD showed a higher risk of depression and other psychological disorders due to excessive worry and anxiety. In addition, there was a close relationship between parents’ subjective attitudes and behavioral patterns and their mental health status: parents who adopted a positive coping style were relatively less susceptible to the negative impact of both the pandemic and online teaching, so they gradually adapted to their children’s online teaching mode and provided guidance to varying degrees. Subjectively, parents who did not agree with online teaching had a better mental health status compared to parents who agreed with online courses. The findings of this work can provide practical guidance on parental mental health issues in the post-pandemic era and the emerging wave of online education, with a focus on the stresses that online classes induce in parents, improving parental acceptance of online classes and their mental health, and providing further psychological relief measures and health programs for different groups of students and parents.
The data that support the findings of this study are available on request from the corresponding author, [Liu], upon reasonable request.
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We gratefully acknowledge the support of the Medical Science and Technology Plan Project in Ningbo, Zhejiang Province, China (2020Y22), as well as supports from the Medical and Health Technology of Zhejiang Province, China (2021KY330) and the Ningbo Natural Science Foundation, Zhejiang Province, China (202003N4262).
These authors contributed equally: Fang Cheng and Lixian Chen.
Department of Pediatric Psychology, Ningbo Kangning Hospital, Ningbo, 315201, Zhejiang, China
Fang Cheng, Jincheng Li, Hongying Yang & Lingjiang Liu
The Second People’s Hospital of Yuhuan, Zhejiang, China
Lixian Chen
Department of General Medicine, Renmin Hospital of Wuhan University, Wuhan, 430060, Hubei, China
Huabing Xie
Huizhen Academy, NingBo, Zhejiang, China
Chenglan Wang & Ruonan Duan
Gaoqiao Central Primary School, Haishu, Ningbo, Zhejiang, China
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F.C., L.C., and H.X. conceived and designed the experiments. C.W. and R.D. performed the experiments and collected data. D.C. and J.L. analyzed the data. H.Y. and L.L. contributed to the writing of the manuscript and provided critical revisions that addressed important intellectual content. All authors discussed the results and implications and commented on the manuscript at all stages. *H.Y. and L.L. also served as corresponding authors, overseeing the project coordination and ensuring the integrity of the work from inception to published article. F.C. and L.C. contributed equally to this work due to L.C. significant contributions in completing the revisions.
Correspondence to Hongying Yang or Lingjiang Liu .
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The authors declare no competing interests.
This survey was conducted following the principles of the Declaration of Helsinki. The following information was supplied relating to ethical approvals (i.e., approving body and any reference numbers): The Ningbo Kangning Hospital granted Ethical approval to carry out the study within its facilities (Ethical Application Ref. No.: NBKNYY-2021-LC-1, 2021.3.15–2024.3.14).
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Berkeley Psychology Professor Iris Mauss
Berkeley Psychology alumna and New York University postdoctoral researcher Felicia K. Zerwas
A new Berkeley Psychology research study suggests that worrying too much about happiness can actually make you feel less happy and even more depressed.
The research, which was published in August in the American Psychological Association’s journal Emotion and titled “Unpacking the Pursuit of Happiness,” is a collaboration between UC Berkeley Psychology professors Iris Mauss and Oliver P. John, along with Berkeley Psychology alumni Felicia K. Zerwas (New York University postdoctoral researcher) and Brett Q. Ford (University of Toronto associate psychology professor).
The study examined two different aspects of pursuing happiness: aspiring to be happy and being concerned about one’s level of happiness. Results showed that aspiring to be happy did not predict a person’s overall well-being. But being concerned about happiness was heavily associated with lower well-being, including less satisfaction with life and greater depression symptoms.
“This means that changing how one thinks about happiness — specifically, decreasing one’s concern about happiness — should benefit mental health,” Professor Mauss said. “We need to be alert when we obsess over our happiness and paradoxically thwart our efforts to attain it.”
Mauss added: “While these findings raise a possible conundrum — wanting to feel happy ultimately involves feeling less happy — people should not take away that they are stuck. There are productive ways of thinking about happiness.”
The researchers propose that one way people can change their thinking and avoid being too concerned with happiness is to accept that they may never feel perfectly happy, even during positive experiences.
“Very few moments, if any, will bring only happiness, and latching on to the less-than-perfect aspects of positive moments will ultimately spoil them,” Zerwas said. “Instead, accepting the emotions we are feeling in the moment allows us to move forward without adding any extra negativity to the experience.”
Other ways people can prevent potentially harming their mental health include accepting that negative emotions are natural responses to life, not viewing positive activities as a means to an end (i.e., only doing something because you think it will make you happier), and partaking in activities that involve social connection, Mauss said.
Researchers carried out this study by having participants complete a series of surveys and diaries that measured valuing happiness as well as three facets of well-being: satisfaction with life, psychological well-being and depressive symptoms.
Future research related to this study may examine if results are consistent cross-culturally by including participants from other countries, and also if certain interventions (i.e., mindfulness practices) may increase psychological well-being in those overly concerned with happiness, Zerwas, the NYU researcher said.
Read the paper in the American Psychological Association’s journal Emotion : https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2Femo0001381
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Is it harder these days to be a teen? Or do today’s teenagers have it easier than those of past generations? We asked the following question of 1,453 U.S. parents and teens: Compared with 20 years ago, do you think being a teenager today is harder, easier or about the same?
Parents and teens most often say it’s harder to be a teen today. Though parents are far more likely to say this.
Far fewer say it’s easier now …
… or that it’s about the same.
Teens, though, are more likely than parents to say they are unsure.
But why? We asked those who say teen life has gotten harder or easier to explain in their own words why they think so.
There are big debates about how teenagers are faring these days. And technology’s impact is often at the center of these conversations.
Prominent figures, including the U.S. Surgeon General, have been vocal about the harmful effects technology may be having on young people.
These concerns ring true for the parents in our survey. A majority blame technology – and especially social media – for making teen life more difficult.
Among parents who say it’s harder being a teen today, about two-thirds cite technology in some way. This includes 41% who specifically name social media.
While some mention social media in broad terms, others bring up specific experiences that teens may have on these platforms, such as feeling pressure to act or look a certain way or having negative interactions there. Parents also call out the downsides of being constantly connected through social media.
Pew Research Center has a long history of studying the attitudes and experiences of U.S. teens and parents, especially when it comes to their relationships with technology.
For this analysis, the Center conducted an online survey of 1,453 U.S. teens and parents from Sept. 26 to Oct. 23, 2023, through Ipsos. Ipsos invited one parent from each of a representative set of households with parents of teens in the desired age range from its KnowledgePanel . The KnowledgePanel is a probability-based web panel recruited primarily through national, random sampling of residential addresses. Parents were asked to think about one teen in their household. (If there were multiple teens ages 13 to 17 in the household, one was randomly chosen.) After completing their section, the parent was asked to have this chosen teen come to the computer and complete the survey in private.
The survey is weighted to be representative of two different populations: 1) parents with teens ages 13 to 17, and 2) teens ages 13 to 17 who live with parents. For each of these populations, they survey is weighted to be representative by age, gender, race and ethnicity, household income and other categories.
Parents and teens were first asked whether they think it is harder, easier, or about the same to be a teen now than it was 20 years ago. Those who answered that it was easier or harder were then asked an open-ended question to explain why they answered the way they did. Center researchers developed a coding scheme categorizing the written responses, coded all responses, then grouped them into the themes explored in this data essay. Quotations may have been lightly edited for grammar, spelling and clarity.
Here are the questions among parents and among teens used in this analysis, along with responses, and its methodology .
This research was reviewed and approved by an external institutional review board (IRB), Advarra, an independent committee of experts specializing in helping to protect the rights of research participants.
“Social media is a scourge for society, especially for teens. They can’t escape social pressures and are constantly bombarded by images and content that makes them feel insecure and less than perfect, which creates undue stress that they can’t escape.” FATHER, 40s
“Kids are being told what to think and how to feel based on social media.” MOTHER, 40s
Parents name other forms of technology, but at much lower rates. Roughly one-in-ten parents who think being a teen is harder today specifically say the internet (11%) or smartphones (7%) contribute to this.
“Teens are online and they are going to encounter everything offered – positive and negative. Unfortunately, the negative can do major damage, as in cyberbullying, for example.” MOTHER, 30s
Another 26% say technology in general or some other specific type of technology (e.g., video games or television) makes teens’ lives harder today.
“Technology has changed the way people communicate. I can see how kids feel very isolated.” FATHER, 40s
Parents also raise a range of reasons that do not specifically reference technology, with two that stand out: more pressures placed on teens and the country or world being worse off than in the past. Among parents who think it’s harder to be a teen today, 16% say it’s because of the pressures and expectations young people face. These include teens feeling like they have to look or act a certain way or perform at a certain level.
“The competition is more fierce in sports and academics and the bar seems to be higher. Everything is more over-the-top for social activities too. It’s not simple as it was.” MOTHER, 50s
A similar share (15%) says teen life is harder because the country or world has changed in a bad way, whether due to political issues or to shifts in morals and values.
“Now it is more difficult to instill values, principles, good customs and good behavior, since many bad vices are seen in some schools and public places.” MOTHER, 50s
Other reasons that do not mention technology are less common. For example, roughly one-in-ten of these parents or fewer mention violence and drugs, bullying, and exposure to bad influences.
Teens today have a seemingly endless choice of technologies at their disposal, whether it be smartphones , video games or generative AI . And while relatively few parents say teen’s lives are easier today, those who do largely point to technology.
Among parents who say it is easier being a teen today, roughly six-in-ten mention technology as a reason.
Some reference a specific type of technology, like the internet (14%). Another 8% cite smartphones, and 3% cite social media.
“Although the internet can be toxic, it also opens up so many avenues for connection, learning and engagement.” MOTHER, 50s
“We didn’t have smartphones when I was a teenager. Nowadays, teenagers have all the answers in the palm of their hand.” FATHER, 40s
A fair portion (47%) mention technology broadly or name another specific type of technology.
“Technology has improved exponentially, giving access to the whole world at your fingertips.” FATHER, 30s
Some other reasons that emerge do not mention technology specifically. For instance, 18% of parents who say it’s easier being a teen today think this is because there are fewer pressures and expectations on teenagers than in the past.
“Teens today have been shown more leniency; they barely hold themselves responsible.” MOTHER, 40s
And one-in-ten say it’s easier because teens have access to more resources and information.
“When I was a teen, I had to carry so many books and binders everywhere while my daughter can just have her school laptop. She can complete research easily with internet access on her school device.” MOTHER, 30s
Most teens use social media , and some do so almost constantly. But they also see these sites as a reason teens’ lives are harder today than 20 years ago.
In addition, teens point to the pressures and expectations that are placed on them.
Among teens who say it’s harder to be a teenager today than in the past, roughly four-in-ten mention technology as a reason. This includes a quarter who specifically name social media. Some mention these sites broadly; others link them to harmful experiences like increased pressures to look a certain way or negative interactions with others.
“Social media tells kids what to do and say. And if you aren’t up on it, you look like the fool and become like an outcast from lots of people.” TEEN GIRL
“Social media was not a part of my parents’ teenage lives and I feel that they did not have to ‘curate’ themselves and be a certain way in order to fit [in] as it is today.” TEEN GIRL
Few specifically mention the internet (6%) or smartphones (3%) as reasons. About one-in-ten (11%) cite technology broadly or another type of technology.
“For one thing, my phone is a huge distraction. It takes up so much of my time just looking at stuff that doesn’t even mean anything to me.” TEEN GIRL
Teens name several reasons that do not specifically mention technology – most prominently, the increased pressures and expectations placed on them. Roughly three-in-ten of those who say teen life is harder today (31%) say it’s because of these pressures and expectations.
“We have so much more homework and pressure from other kids. We are always being looked at by everyone. We can’t escape.” TEEN GIRL
“Adults expect too much from us. We need to get good grades, do extracurricular activities, have a social life, and work part time – all at the same time.” TEEN BOY
Another 15% say it’s harder because the world is worse off today, due to such things as political issues, values being different or the country having declined in some way.
“Teenagers are less able to afford vehicles, rent, etc. and basic living necessities, and are therefore not able to move out for years after they graduate high school and even college.” TEEN BOY
Other reasons that don’t mention technology – including violence and drugs, bullying, and mental health problems – are named by 8% of these teens or fewer.
Teens also see ways that technology makes life better, whether that’s helping them pursue hobbies , express their creativity or build skills . Overall, few think teens’ lives are easier today than 20 years ago, but those who do largely say technology is a reason.
Six-in-ten teens who say teen life is easier today reference technology in some way. This includes 14% who mention the internet and 12% who mention phones. Just 3% name social media.
“[Teens 20 years ago] didn’t have internet available anywhere and they also didn’t have smartphones to be able to use whenever needed.” TEEN BOY
This also includes 46% who reference technology in general or some other specific type of technology.
“Tech has made it easier to connect with friends.” TEEN BOY
These teens also name reasons that don’t specifically mention technology, including 14% who say life is easier because there are fewer pressures and expectations for people their age.
“Twenty years ago there was probably more pressure to become an adult sooner and get things like a job, a learner’s permit, etc.” TEEN GIRL
And a same share says having more resources available to them has made life easier.
“Nowadays, we have help to deal with your physical and mental well-being, and we have specialists/therapists that we can talk to about our feelings and emotions.” TEEN GIRL
Smaller shares say it’s due to the country and world being better off today (4%) or people being nicer to each other (3%).
Parents and teens are mostly in agreement on what makes growing up today harder than in the past.
But the rate at which they cite certain factors like social media or facing pressures differ.
Among those who say being a teen today is harder , 65% of parents believe it’s because of technology in some way. This drops to 39% among teens.
This divide also stands out when it comes to social media specifically (41% vs. 25%).
Teens, on the other hand, are more likely than parents to describe issues related to overachieving or having to look a certain way. Among those who say teen life is harder today, 31% of teens cite pressures and expectations as a reason, compared with 16% of parents.
Still, there are areas in which parents and teens are in sync. For example, similar shares cite the country or world being worse today (15% each) and violence and drugs (8% each) as reasons life today for teens is harder.
And among those who say being a teen today is easier , roughly six-in-ten parents (59%) and teens (60%) mention technology in some way.
Read the quotes below showing how parents and teens think teenagers’ experiences today differ from before.
This project benefited greatly from the contributions of Director of Internet and Technology Research Monica Anderson , Research Assistants Eugenie Park and Olivia Sidoti . This project also benefited from Communications Manager Haley Nolan, Editorial Assistant Anna Jackson and Copy Editor Rebecca Leppert .
Pew Research Center is a subsidiary of The Pew Charitable Trusts, its primary funder.
Follow these links for more of our work on teens and technology:
Find more reports and blog posts related to internet and technology on our topic page.
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Balancing the scale: the power of highlighting the wins in parent coaching..
Posted August 31, 2024 | Reviewed by Margaret Foley
At the start of every session with my parent- coaching clients, I ask a simple yet powerful question: “What has been going well, and what could be better?" This question is vital in our work together, setting a constructive tone and guiding our conversation toward a balanced perspective. In a world where it’s easy to get overwhelmed by negativity and challenges, this question helps shift focus toward progress and growth, which are crucial aspects of positive psychology.
Positive psychology, which explores what makes life fulfilling, emphasizes that our well-being improves when we concentrate on our strengths, successes, and positive experiences. This approach isn’t about ignoring difficulties but about ensuring a balanced view. Focusing solely on problems can trap us in a cycle of negativity, impeding progress and worsening mental health. Conversely, recognizing what’s going well fosters resilience and hope and provides a solid foundation for addressing areas needing improvement.
Asking parents what has been going well enables us to start with a focus on their strengths and successes. This approach has several significant effects:
1. Affirming Progress
In parent coaching, progress can often be gradual and hard to measure. By highlighting what’s been going well, clients can see the results of their efforts, however minor. This recognition builds self-efficacy , reinforcing their ability to make positive changes. It’s a reminder that despite challenges, there are achievements to celebrate. Over time, this practice fosters resilience, helping parents stay motivated and committed to their growth journey.
2. Creating a Positive Mindset
Beginning a session focusing on positives sets a constructive tone. It helps clients enter a mindset conducive to productive problem-solving, reducing the likelihood of feeling overwhelmed. Positive psychology research shows that a positive mindset enhances cognitive flexibility, making generating creative solutions to problems more accessible. This approach also strengthens the therapeutic alliance, as clients feel understood and supported in a balanced way, fostering deeper trust and collaboration .
3, Building Resilience
Parenting involves a series of ups and downs. When I coach parents, I have found that looking at what’s going well strengthens resilience by affirming that setbacks are not the entirety of the experience. Clients learn that challenges are part of the journey but don’t define it. Recognizing successes is an act of resilience, refusing to let difficulties overshadow positive aspects of life.
4. Balancing the Narrative
Addressing what could be better is equally important. However, we create a balanced narrative by starting with what’s going well. This approach prevents the session from becoming solely about complaints and encourages a nuanced exploration of strengths and challenges.
In practice, this question leads to more productive sessions. For instance, a parent struggling with a defiant child may come in feeling overwhelmed. When asked what has been going well, they might recall successfully de-escalating a conflict or being consistent with boundaries . As I found when researching my book 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child, acknowledging these wins provides a foundation for further discussion of strategies to improve the parenting approach.
Similarly, discussing areas for improvement is framed within the context of progress. The client isn’t starting from a point of failure but from a place of growth. This perspective encourages viewing challenges as opportunities for improvement rather than insurmountable obstacles.
The question “What has been going well and what could be better?” is more than a conversation starter; it’s a coaching tool that embodies positive psychology principles. It helps parent-coaching clients focus on their successes, reinforcing their strengths and progress. At the same time, it allows for exploring growth areas, ensuring that sessions address both positive and challenging aspects of their parenting journey. Maintaining this balance creates a space where healing, growth, and resilience can flourish.
Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D. , is a psychologist and the author of seven books, including 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child.
It’s increasingly common for someone to be diagnosed with a condition such as ADHD or autism as an adult. A diagnosis often brings relief, but it can also come with as many questions as answers.
Life in a single parent household—though common—can be quite stressful for the adult and the children.
Today single parent families have become even more common than the so-called “nuclear family” consisting of a mother, father, and children. Today we see all sorts of single parent families: headed by mothers, fathers, and even by a grandparent raising their grandchildren.
Life in a single parent household—though common—can be quite stressful for the adult and the children. The single parent may feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities of juggling caring for the children, maintaining a job, and keeping up with the bills and household chores. And typically, the family’s finances and resources are drastically reduced following the parents’ breakup.
Single parent families deal with many other pressures and potential problem areas that other families may not face.
The single parent can help family members face these difficulties by talking with each other about their feelings and working together to tackle problems. Support from friends, other family members, and places of worship can help too. But if family members are still overwhelmed and having problems, it may be time to consult an expert or a licensed mental health professional.
The seventh annual Psychology Research Day will take place on Thursday 7 November 2024 as part of the week-long BPS Psychology Careers Festival.
03 September 2024
The Psychology Research Day, delivered in collaboration with Senate House Library, is primarily aimed at psychology students and early career researchers.
The day will feature talks about research skills and careers in psychology research.
Planned talks for the day include sessions about political psychology, artificial intelligence, psychometric testing, and diverse career paths in psychological research.
Like the other days of the Careers Festival, the Psychology Research Day will run virtually over the Zoom platform.
The Psychology Research Day is a free event to attend, however you can upgrade your ticket to attend the full event and get access to all stages and speakers.
We surveyed attendees of the Psychology Careers Festival after the event last year*, and received positive feedback about the Psychology Research Day and the Careers Festival overall:
Feedback from last year's attendees was hugely positive, with:
"The full day all about research careers was amazingly useful and very motivational." Psychology Careers Festival 2023 attendee
"For me personally it [the best aspect of the Psychology Careers Festival] was the inspiring psychologists working in research as this is where I want my career to head." Psychology Careers Festival 2023 attendee
* The BPS surveyed online 134 attendees to the Psychology Careers Festival 2023, after the Festival (between 15 November and 04 December 2024).
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Parenting. Parenting practices around the world share three major goals: ensuring children's health and safety, preparing children for life as productive adults, and transmitting cultural values. A high-quality parent-child relationship is critical for healthy development. Researchers have described different human parenting styles—ways in ...
The Monitor asked top developmental, clinical and family psychologists for their wisdom on the best evidence-based resources for parents. Here are six. 1. Infoaboutkids.org. This website is a clearinghouse of behavioral science on children and adolescents, developed by the Consortium for Science-Based Information on Children, Youth and Families ...
Beginning with research on authoritative parenting, we examine key elements of this parenting style and its influence across diverse contexts and populations. We turn our attention to four topics that have generated much research in the past decade: (1) how parenting contributes to adolescent peer and romantic relationships; (2) the impact of ...
Dimensional approaches. In response to the cultural critiques of parenting styles, current research focuses on discrete dimensions of par-enting, providing greater specificity in understanding parenting effects. For instance, behavioral control has been distinguished from psychological control and paren-tal knowledge.
1.1. Parenting Styles. Parenting style is a collection of parents' attitudes, behaviors, and emotions [].Therefore, we can conceptualize parenting styles as representing general types of child-rearing that characterize parents' typical strategies and responses [].In particular, parental behavior is established in four specific behavioral dimensions: control, maturity demands, clarity of ...
We turn our attention to four topics that have generated much research in the past decade: (1) how parenting contributes to adolescent peer and romantic relationships; (2) the impact of parenting on adolescent brain development; (3) gene-environment interactions in parenting research; and (4) parents' involvement in adolescents' social ...
Current research on parenting styles, dimensions, and beliefs Curr Opin Psychol. 2017 Jun:15:19-25. doi: 10.1016/j .copsyc ... 1 Department of Clinical & Social Sciences in Psychology, Meliora Hall, RC 270266, University of Rochester, Rochester, NY 14627, USA. Electronic address: [email protected]. PMID: 28813261 DOI ...
Family psychology and cultural diversity: opportunities for theory, research, and application. Am Psychol. 1993;48:400-407. Crossref. Web of Science. Google Scholar. 152. Pew Research Center. Use of spanking differs across racial and education groups. ... Cohen JAS, Semple RJ. Mindful parenting: a call for research. J Child Fam Stud. 2010;19: ...
For decades, parenting has been characterized in terms of broad global styles, with authoritative parenting seen as most beneficial for children's development. Concerns with greater sensitivity to cultural and contextual variations have led to greater specificity in defining parenting in terms of different parenting dimensions and greater consideration of the role of parenting beliefs in ...
This Research Topic aims to focus on the phenomena of parenting and its outcomes in the context of extraordinary life events and ongoing, chronic stress. Chronic stress is defined here as ongoing demands that threaten to exceed the resources of an individual in one or more areas of life, that have no clear beginning or end.
The Journal of Family Psychology ® (JFP) is the premier family research journal.Family psychology is a complex field, as it includes systems perspectives on the multiple influences on relationships, developmental perspectives on how relationships are formed and sustained over time, cultural perspectives on how society and traditions affect relationships, the intersection of individual ...
Research Ideas: Developmental Psychology. The impact of maternal affection on cognitive, social, and emotional development. The effects of parenting styles on children's executive function. The impact of late-night screen use on child development. The role of digital play on child development outcomes.
Abstract. Although parenting styles constitute a well-known concept in parenting research, two issues have largely been overlooked in existing studies. In particular, the psychological control dimension has rarely been explicitly modelled and there is limited insight into joint parenting styles that simultaneously characterize maternal and ...
1 Department of Psychology, Shandong Normal University, Jinan, China; 2 Department of Business, Shandong Normal University, Jinan, China; 3 Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences, University of Massachusetts, Amherst, MA, United States; The parent-adolescent relationship has been a classic research topic, and researchers have found that parenting styles (e.g., authoritative ...
This research explores the relationship between parenting styles and child development in the community context. It delves into the various parenting styles, including authoritarian, democratic ...
Research on fathering and father-child relationships has been conducted for more than 40 years but fathers are still missing in many studies focused on parenting and parent-child relationships. In this special issue, our goal was to compile a group of papers that would provide a catalyst to move fathering scholarship forward into emerging areas with renewed focus, awareness, and attention ...
The following are included among the team's research topics: Relationships between positive parenting and academic success; ... Landry, R., & Koestner, R. (2008). A self-determination theory perspective on parenting. Canadian Psychology, 49(3),194-200. Juffer F., Bakermans-Kranenburg M. & Van IJzendoorn M. (2008). Promoting positive parenting ...
So, bucking the trend of random anecdote and superstition, here are twelve psychology studies about parenting that every parent should know. 1. Parents are happier than non-parents. First some good news for those worried about the burdens of parenting. In recent years, some studies have suggested that the pleasures of parenting are outweighed ...
A Parent's Role. Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff. From encouraging schoolwork and sports to modeling values as a child grows (remember, they do as you do, not as you say!) parents exert ...
Most of the current research has focused on the psychological state of education practitioners and children, with little attention to parents' mental health issues. ... the Parenting Stress ...
Yet, a recent review article generated the following definition of positive parenting based on 120 articles on the topic: "a continual relationship of parents and children that includes caring ...
Research begun by developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind in the 1960s identified three main parenting styles —authoritarian, indulgent, and authoritative. Later studies added a fourth ...
On the other hand, parents who have healthy eating habits and who manage their stress by exercising, for example, present positive models for their children to follow. Fathers particularly play an important role in shaping the behaviors, both good and bad, of their young children, adolescents, and teens.
The research, which was published in August in the American Psychological Association's journal Emotion and titled "Unpacking the Pursuit of Happiness," is a collaboration between UC Berkeley Psychology professors Iris Mauss and Oliver P. John, along with Berkeley Psychology alumni Felicia K. Zerwas (New York University postdoctoral ...
"Parents will find much of use in this levelheaded resource." — Publishers Weekly "With humility, warmth, and good humor, Dr. Gator shares more than a decade of wisdom he's gained as a holistically inspired pediatrician and through his own experiences as a parent. Parenting at Your Child's Pace is a therapeutic, calming, informative read. Like a warm bath, parents will feel their anxiety ...
Pew Research Center has a long history of studying the attitudes and experiences of U.S. teens and parents, especially when it comes to their relationships with technology. For this analysis, the Center conducted an online survey of 1,453 U.S. teens and parents from Sept. 26 to Oct. 23, 2023, through Ipsos.
This engaging podcast hosts conversations about handling life: family, friends, dating, parenting, relationships, career, and motivation issues & challenges in a fun - and even funny - way. By gaining insight, you have a chance to improve yourself, your lifestyle, your choices! The podcast interviews have guests & help you understand the psychology of a person or a mindset. The talk ...
As I found when researching my book 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child, acknowledging these wins provides a foundation for further discussion of strategies to improve the parenting approach.
Today single parent families have become even more common than the so-called "nuclear family" consisting of a mother, father, and children. Today we see all sorts of single parent families: headed by mothers, fathers, and even by a grandparent raising their grandchildren. Life in a single parent household—though common—can be quite ...
The seventh annual Psychology Research Day will take place on Thursday 7 November 2024 as part of the week-long BPS Psychology Careers Festival. 03 September 2024 The Psychology Research Day, delivered in collaboration with Senate House Library, is primarily aimed at psychology students and early career researchers.