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Essay on Actual Self

Students are often asked to write an essay on Actual Self in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Actual Self

Understanding actual self.

The term ‘Actual Self’ refers to how we see ourselves. It is our perception of our own traits, abilities, and characteristics. This is not about how others see us, but it is about our own understanding of who we are.

Importance of Actual Self

Knowing our Actual Self is important. It helps us understand our strengths and weaknesses. If we know our Actual Self, we can work on improving our weak areas. It also helps us set goals that match our abilities.

Actual Self and Self-Esteem

Our Actual Self affects our self-esteem. If we have a positive view of our Actual Self, we feel good about ourselves. If we have a negative view, we may feel unhappy or not good enough.

Actual Self and Relationships

Our Actual Self also influences our relationships. If we know ourselves well, we can better understand others. It helps us build strong and healthy relationships with others.

250 Words Essay on Actual Self

Understanding the actual self.

The ‘Actual Self’ is the person you truly are. It’s like looking at your reflection in the mirror. It is the real you, with all your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, your hopes and fears. It is who you are when nobody is watching you.

The Actual Self and Self-Image

Your ‘Actual Self’ is not always the same as your ‘Self-Image’. Your self-image is how you think you look or behave. Sometimes, people have a self-image that is different from their actual self. They may think they are better or worse than they really are. This can lead to confusion and unhappiness.

The Importance of the Actual Self

Knowing your ‘Actual Self’ is very important. It helps you understand what you really want in life. It also helps you make good decisions that are right for you. When you know your actual self, you can live a life that is true to who you are. This can make you happy and fulfilled.

Discovering the Actual Self

Discovering your ‘Actual Self’ can take time. It involves thinking about your feelings and actions. It also involves being honest with yourself. It is not always easy, but it is a journey worth taking.

In conclusion, the ‘Actual Self’ is the real you. It is important to know and understand your actual self to live a happy and fulfilled life. Remember, everyone is unique and special in their own way, and so are you.

500 Words Essay on Actual Self

Understanding the concept of ‘actual self’, the role of ‘actual self’ in our lives.

Our ‘Actual Self’ plays a big role in our lives. It influences how we think, feel, and behave. For instance, if you see yourself as a kind person, you’ll likely act kindly towards others. On the other hand, if you see yourself as a lazy person, you might not put much effort into your work or studies.

Our ‘Actual Self’ also affects our self-esteem, which is how much we value ourselves. If we have a positive view of our ‘Actual Self’, we tend to have high self-esteem. If we have a negative view, we may have low self-esteem.

How We Form Our ‘Actual Self’

Changing our ‘actual self’.

Our ‘Actual Self’ is not fixed. It can change over time as we grow and have new experiences. For example, a shy person can become more outgoing after joining a club or participating in group activities. The key to changing our ‘Actual Self’ is to recognize our current self-perception and then work towards the change we want to see.

Importance of a Positive ‘Actual Self’

Having a positive ‘Actual Self’ is important for our mental health. It can lead to higher self-esteem, better relationships, and overall happiness. We can cultivate a positive ‘Actual Self’ by focusing on our strengths, learning from our mistakes, and not comparing ourselves to others.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Self Awareness — I Prefer to Be True to Myself

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What is Your True Self: The Importance of Self-awareness

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Essays About Self: 5 Essay Examples and 7 Creative Essay Prompts

Essays about self require brainstorming and ample time to reflect on who you are. See our top picks and prompts to use in your essay writing.

“Tell me about yourself.” It’s a familiar question we are asked in social situations, job interviews, or on the first day of class. It’s also a customary essay writing topic in schools to prepare students for future career interviews, cover letters, and, most importantly, to assist individuals in assessing their personalities. 

Self refers to qualities of one’s identity or character. It’s a broad topic, but many find it confusing. Before your get started on this topic, learn how to write personal essays to make this challenging topic easier to tackle.

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5 Essay Examples

1. essay on defining self by anonymous on wowessays.com, 2. long essay on about myself by prasanna, 3. self discovery: my journey to understanding myself and the world around by anonymous on samplius.com, 4. how my future self is my hero by anonymous on gradesfixer.com, 5. essay on self-respect by bunty rane, 7 writing prompts on essays about self, 1. who am i, 2. a look at my personality, 3. my life: a self-reflection, 4. my best and worst qualities, 5. reasons to write about myself, 6. overcoming challenges and mistakes, 7. the importance of self-awareness.

“Google provided a definition of self as a “person’s essential being that distinguishes them from others, esp. considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action.” (Google.com, 2013) This may be as simple as this, but the word “self” is far more complicated than the things that make an individual different from other people.”

The author defines self as the physical and psychological way of perceiving and evaluating ourselves, which has two aspects. First is the development of an existential self which includes awareness of being different from others. Meanwhile, the second aspect is when someone realizes their categorical self or that they have the same physical characteristics as others. 

The essay includes three aspects of self-definition. One is sell-image, or how a person views himself. Two is self-esteem, which dramatically affects how a person values ​​and carries himself. And three is the ideal self, where people compare their self-image with their ideal characteristics, often leading to a new definition of themselves.

“Each person finds their mission differently and has a different journey. Thus, when I write about myself, I write about my journey and what makes the person I am because of the trip. I try to be myself, be passionate about my dreams and hobbies, live honestly, and work hard to achieve all that I want to make.”

Prassana divides her essay into sections: hobbies, dreams, aspirations, and things she wants to learn. Her hobbies are baking and reading books that help her relax. She’s lucky to have parents who let her choose her career where she’ll be happy and stable, which is being a traveler. Prasanna finds learning fun, so she wants to continue learning simple things like cooking specific cuisine, scuba, and sky diving.

“High school has taught me about myself, and that is the most important lesson I could have learned. This metamorphosis has taken me from what I used to be to what I am now.”

In this essay, the writer shows the importance of self-discovery to become a better version of yourself. During their high school days, the author was a typically shy and somewhat childish person who was afraid to speak. So they hid in their room, where they felt safe. But as days pass and they grow older, the writer learns to be strong and stabilize their emotions. Soon, they left their cocoon, managed to express their feelings, and believed in themselves.

Because of self-discovery, the author realized they have their thoughts, ideas, morals, likes, and dislikes. They are no longer afraid of mistakes and have learned to enjoy life. The writer also believes that to succeed, and everyone must trust themselves and not give up on reaching their dreams.

“Bold, passionate, humble these are how I envision my hero to be and these are the three people I want to work on, moving forward as I strive to become the self I want to be in the future.”

The essay shows how a simple award speech by Matthew McConaughey moves the writer’s mind and ultimately creates their hero. They come up with three main qualities they want their future self to have. The first is to be someone who is not afraid to take advantage of any opportunities. Next is to stop being content with just being alive and continue searching for their purpose and genuine passion. Last, they strive to be humble and grateful to every person who contributes to their success.

“People with self-respect have the courage of accepting their mistakes. They exhibit certain toughness, a kind of moral courage, and they display character. Without self-respect, one becomes an unwilling audience of one’s failing both real and imaginary.”

Self-respect is a form of self-love. For Rane, it’s a habit of the mind that will never fail anyone. It’s a ritual that makes a person remember who they are. It reminds us to live without needing anyone else’s approval and walk alone toward our goals. Meanwhile, people with no self-respect hate those who have it. As a result, they become weak and lose their identity.

People can describe who you are in many ways, but the only person who truly knows you is yourself. Use this prompt to introduce yourself to the readers. Share personal and exciting details such as your name’s origin, quirky family routines, and your most memorable moments. It doesn’t have to be too personal. You only need to focus on information that distinguishes you from everyone else.

Essays About Self: A look at my personality

Personality is a person’s unique way of thinking, feeling, and behavior. You can apply this prompt to describe your personality as a student or working adult. Write about how you develop your skills, make friends, do everyday tasks, and many more. Differentiate “self” and “personality” in your introduction to help readers understand your essay content better.

Connect with your inner self and conduct a self-reflection. This practice helps us grow and improve. In writing this prompt, you will need time to reflect on your life to identify and explain your qualities and values. 

For instance, talk about the things you are grateful for, words that best describe you according to the people around you, and areas of yourself that you’d like to improve. Then, discuss how these things affect your life.

Every individual is a work in progress. Although you consider yourself a good person, there are still parts of you that you want to improve. Discuss these shortcomings with your readers. Expound on why people like and dislike these traits. Include how you plan to change your bad characteristics. You can add instances demonstrating your good and bad qualities to make your piece more relatable.

Writing about yourself is a great way to use your creativity in exploring and examining your identity. But, unfortunately, it’s also a great medium to release emotional distress and work through these feelings. So, for this prompt, delve into the benefits of writing about oneself. Then, persuade your readers to start writing about themselves and give tips to help them get started.

For help with this topic, read our guide explaining what is persuasive writing ?

If you want to connect emotionally with your readers, this prompt is the best to use for your essay. Identify and discuss difficult life experiences and explain how these challenging times helped you learn and grow as a person. 

Tip : You can use this prompt even if you haven’t faced any life-changing challenges. The problem you may have encountered can be as simple as finding it hard to wake up early.

Essays About Self: The importance of self-awareness

Some benefits of self-awareness include being a better decision-maker and effective communicator. Define and explain self-awareness. Then, examine how self-awareness influences our lives. You can also include different types of self-awareness and their benefits to a person.

If you want to try these techniques, check out our round-up of the best journals !

17 Ideal Self Examples: Tap into Your Idealized Self-Image

Do you want to improve your self-image and become more confident? Do you have a clear vision of your ideal self and how to achieve it? If you are looking for some inspiration and guidance, check out these **ideal self examples** from psychology . You will learn how to define your ideal self, how to compare it with your self-image, and how to bridge the gap between them.

actual self example essay

Sanju Pradeepa

Ideal self examples

Everyone has that inner voice, that innate knowledge of what’s best for them. But how do you listen to it? How do you harness that power within you? The answer lies in understanding and embracing your ideal self.

Your ideal self is an embodiment of the person you want to be. When we imagine our ideal selves, we can create a clear path toward our desired future. The more we focus on this identity, the closer we come to manifest it in reality. But what does an ideal self, look like?

In this article, let’s explore 17 ideal self examples and learn how each can be used to tap into your inner power and guide yourself toward your true purpose. Let’s start by exploring the foundations of the ideal self where which all its parts are built.

Table of Contents

What is an ideal self.

What is an Ideal Self

Do you want to take your life to the next level but feel stuck on where to begin? As it turns out, you may need to look within yourself and begin to define what your ideal self looks like.

Your ideal self is best described as the person you want to become the version of yourself that embodies all of your goals and capabilities. It’s how you see yourself when you visualize yourself achieving all your hopes and dreams . Defining this version of yourself can be incredibly beneficial in helping you actively turn into this person.

The best way to start defining your ideal self is by asking yourself some key questions: What does success look like for me? What traits would I like to embody? How do I want other people to perceive me? Answering these questions will help provide a solid foundation for creating an action plan that leads toward your ideal self.

By asking and answering these questions, figuring out what traits make up your ideal self, and allowing this knowledge to guide your decisions, you can take action toward becoming the person you aspire to be.

How to Identify Your Ideal Self.

Everyone has a version of their ideal self. You know the person you’d be if only you had more time, more energy, or a few fewer habits. But what does that version look like, and how do you get there?

Getting to know your ideal self requires first defining what that means to you. It looks different for everyone. Here are examples of what an ideal self may look like:

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  • Find joy in the present. Your ideal self lives fully in the present and finds happiness in your everyday moments.
  • Stay organized: Your ideal self has a system that allows them to stay organized and on top of all your tasks.
  • Take responsibility for mistakes: Your ideal self understands that things don’t always go according to plan, but they don’t shy away from addressing their mistakes.
  • Step outside your comfort zone. Developing yourself means embracing change and taking risks, even ones that may feel uncomfortable.
  • Make time for physical activity. Spare time is often devoted to activities that enhance your well-being, such as exercise or yoga.
  • Develop good relationships: Your ideal self strives to foster meaningful relationships with people who have a positive impact on your life and well-being.
  • Show kindness to yourself and others. Compassion is the cornerstone on which your ideal self should operate; it helps not only yourself but those around you as well.
  • Be honest with yourself and others. Honesty isn’t just the best policy. It’s how one achieves true intimacy.

Ideal Self Examples

What are Ideal Self Examples

Ideal self examples can vary depending on the person’s preferences, aspirations, and influences. They can also change over time as a person grows and learns more about themselves and the world. 

1. Connecting to Your Roots

Do you feel an inner strength when you’re around your family and friends? That’s because self-identity is closely related to our sense of purpose and comes from the connections we have with others. Connecting to your roots; your parents, grandparents, siblings, extended family, or cultural heritage is a great way to remind yourself of who you are and where you come from, which can bring on a feeling of empowerment.

Tips for Connecting to Your Roots:

  • Get back in touch with relatives or friends that represent some part of your heritage, even if it just means starting a conversation online.
  • Read up on stories from your culture or learn more about its practices and traditions.
  • Visit places important to them: museums, neighborhoods, churches.

2. Setting Positive Intentions

Another example of an ideal self is setting positive intentions. Setting your intention for the day helps you focus your energy and attention on what matters to you and gives you a sense of control over your day-to-day life.

Think about it: by taking the time to set a positive intention, you’re telling the universe what kind of day you want to have. Your intentions become the north star guiding the decisions you make throughout your day.

Here are a couple of things to think about when setting positive intentions:

  • Focus on progress: Instead of aiming for perfection , focus on progress and congratulate yourself for small wins. This helps to build momentum and keep you motivated.
  • Make it meaningful. Whether it’s spending more time with loved ones or simply being more organized, your intention should be something that resonates with your purpose in life.
  • Believe in yourself. It may sound cliché, but having faith in yourself is key. Believe that you can achieve whatever it is that you’re setting out to do.

By practicing daily intention-setting activities such as writing in a journal or simply repeating positive mantras, we can become our best selves and harness our inner power for lasting change.

4. Developing a Positive Mindset and Outlook

Are you ready to tap into your inner power? Developing a positive mindset and outlook is key. You need to be able to meet problems with optimism and an open mind. This kind of approach requires you to:

  • Believe in your own capabilities and strengths.
  • Have an open mind for new ideas;
  • See yourself in the best light;
  • View failures and obstacles as valuable learning opportunities, and
  • Keep your focus on the growth that comes from the challenge instead of its difficulty.

When you start to approach life from this perspective, it will be easier for you to trust yourself and take risks that could ultimately lead to success. Instead of shying away from challenges or feeling overwhelmed by them, look at them as another way for you to practice resilience, learn something new, and grow as a person. It’s hard to make meaningful changes if you never leave your comfort zone, so don’t be afraid to try something new.

5. Cultivating self-compassion and kindness

No matter your current state, you can always strive to develop a healthier sense of self . Practicing self-compassion and kindness can benefit you in more ways than one.

Empathy for yourself  means that you understand the challenges of life and extend the same compassion to yourself that you would to others. Remind yourself that you are human and mistakes are inevitable; it’s part of the learning process. Replace negative talk with positive reinforcement, and shower yourself with love and understanding. Treat yourself as a friend rather than an enemy.

Practicing gratitude: Gratitude is a powerful emotion that can have lasting, beneficial effects on your mental well-being. When times get tough, take a breath and focus on all the wonderful things in your life, no matter how small they might seem. The simple act of reflecting on all the good can be enough to inject joy into even the toughest days.

Take some time today to cultivate self-compassion and kindness within yourself; your mental well-being will thank you later.

6. Letting Go of Limiting Beliefs and Negative Emotions

When you’re trying to find your ideal self, it’s important to let go of any limiting beliefs or negative emotions that you may be holding onto. That might sound daunting, how do you even go about doing that? Well, here are some tips:

  • Acknowledge the feelings and beliefs that are holding you back. This is the first step in being able to let go and move forward.
  • Once you recognize these feelings, be kind to yourself and forgive yourself for feeling these thoughts or emotions.
  • Move on from what no longer serves you by changing your mindset and reframing the way you think about the situation or yourself.
  • When possible, remove yourself from any environments that may be bringing up those old beliefs and emotions, such as relationships or situations associated with them.
  • Bring positive new people and experiences into your life that help elevate your conscious awareness of who you truly are; this will assist in letting go of any old baggage from the past.

7. Taking Ownership of Your Decisions

Nobody likes to make decisions, especially when they involve taking risks. They can be pretty intimidating, too. But not making decisions only increases the likelihood of regrets, and no one wants that. That’s why taking ownership of your decisions is essential.

You could think of this as a form of self-care. When you learn to make decisions based on what’s best for you and not because you’re trying to please or owe somebody else anything, it sends a strong message: You’re in charge here. Taking ownership of your decisions and having the courage to own up to them lets you live life on your own terms with confidence .

8. Practice Making Decisions.

Decision-making doesn’t come easy for everyone, so be sure to practice. Start by checking in with yourself: What do I really want? Then f ocus on what matters most to you . and then ask yourself: Is this decision beneficial for achieving my goal? Taking the time to carefully consider these questions will help foster a greater sense of control over your life and create a more meaningful life experience overall.

The only way to become our ideal selves is by owning up to the choices we've made

By taking responsibility for our actions and being accountable for our decisions, we can make positive progress in the areas we want to work on and become better versions of ourselves both mentally and physically, today and always.

9. Nurturing Relationships with Others

Nurturing relationships with others is an important part of achieving your ideal self. It’s easy to get caught up in your own life, passions , and goals, but it’s important to remember that other people are important too.

The more you invest in meaningful relationships with others, the more grounded you’ll feel in yourself and the more balanced your life will be. And when things get tough , your network of friends and family can offer support when you need it most.

Investing Your Time: Developing strong relationships requires investing time in them. Spend quality time with close family and friends; reach out to make connections with new people; and don’t forget to really listen to what they have to say.

Value Those Closest to You: Your closest relationships are extremely important for your overall wellbeing. Show your loved ones how much you care about them by encouraging those around you, checking in often, and offering a shoulder when needed. Being a shoulder for someone else gives us a sense of purpose and fulfillment, which helps us connect deeply with our inner selves.

10. Take a stand for what you believe in.

Being comfortable expressing opinions is an essential part of being true to yourself and the world around you, whatever they may be. Standing behind what matters most to us captivates others, builds trust, and brings us closer together. Speak up when it’s necessary or helpful for yourself or another person or because that needs support. Make sure it aligns with your values as well as those around you.

11. Practicing Habits for Success

The tenth example of your ideal self is one where you have achieved success by practicing habits for success . To become successful requires a tremendous amount of hard work and dedication, and this won’t come without forming healthy habits first.

Here are some tips to help you practice the right habits for success:

Prioritize Your Goals: The best way to ensure success is to prioritize your goals. Make sure to focus on what’s most important and break it down into manageable tasks. This will give you tangible goals to achieve instead of having scattered thoughts and ideas that don’t get done on time.

Plan Ahead: Success doesn’t come from doing nothing but from taking the proactive steps necessary to achieve it. Developing a plan that outlines each goal and its corresponding deadline is key to staying organized while on the path to achieving your vision . This will help ensure that all tasks are completed in a timely manner and that nothing gets forgotten along the way.

Take Action: Once you have set your plan in motion, take action on it. It’s important to not only focus on setting goals but also take actionable steps each day towards achieving them. Make sure to track your progress regularly so that you stay motivated and accountable throughout the process. The key is consistent action over a period of time; the more consistent effort you put in, the closer you will be to reaching your goals.

12. Establishing Purpose and Meaning in Life

Do you ever find yourself wondering what life is all about and what you’re really supposed to be doing with it? Establishing purpose and meaning in life is the 12th example of your ideal self.

Having a strong sense of purpose and meaning in life can bring immense joy, pride, and a sense of mastery. It ensures that your life is not just filled with endless busywork that leads to no real fulfillment. To really embrace this part of yourself, ask yourself questions like:

  • What makes me feel most connected to my intrinsic values?
  • What roles help me feel most authentic and empowered?
  • How do I want to contribute to the lives of others?

Once you have a clearer vision for your purpose and meaning in life, you can go about taking active steps towards achieving them. Get creative about how you can bring it into reality, maybe by boosting your physical or mental well-being, enhancing relationships, building a legacy through meaningful work, or creating something from nothing. Each small action will remind you why life is so worth living.

13. Being True to Yourself

This means staying honest, staying humble, and having the courage to speak up for what you believe in. It’s about following your heart, not what other people tell you you should believe.

Taking time for yourself is important for this; it’s a way to reflect on what matters most to you and how you want to live your life . To practice being true, you don’t have to have it all figured out; just be mindful of the decisions that shape your life and always try to ground them in honesty, integrity, and kindness.

It can also help you focus on aspects of yourself that are unique or different because it’s those differences that often make us stronger. Celebrating those differences not just within ourselves but with others can also create moments of connection and understanding, which can help build empathy with one another.

To summarize, being true to yourself means:

  • Staying honest
  • Staying humble
  • Being courageous enough to speak up for what you believe in
  • Following your heart over other people’s expectations
  • Taking time for yourself and reflecting on what matters most
  • Celebrating the unique aspects that make each of us special

14. Embracing Change and Growth

We all face a world that is ever-changing, and it can be difficult to keep up with the pace of progress. But embracing change doesn’t just have to be a challenge; it can also be a source of growth and development .

When you embrace change and growth, you come to recognize that life is always evolving and never static, and that can be incredibly empowering. To practice this, try to focus on the positive effects of change, such as:

  • Taking on new challenges
  • Becoming more self-resilient
  • Seeing life’s events in a new light
  • Gathering new experiences
  • enjoying greater variety in life
  • Finding motivation in the future
  • Expand your horizons.

15. Developing an abundance mindset

When it comes to harnessing your inner power, an abundance mindset is key. Instead of focusing on scarcity and what we don’t have, an abundance mindset appreciates what we do have and how much potential is at our fingertips.

Being Grateful: One way to get into an abundance mindset is to focus on being grateful for what you do have. Gratitude unlocks your ability to see the beauty in all aspects of life and helps you discover solutions that you didn’t think were available to begin with. It shifts your perspective from one of lack or lack of control to one where you can appreciate the small miracles that surround us every day.

Releasing Fear and Limitations: An abundance mindset also celebrates releasing fear and limitations from our lives. Don’t get fixated on the “have to” or “should” mentality when it comes to how you spend your time or energy. Learn how to find joy in any activity while also recognizing when something isn’t worth sacrificing your wellbeing for in the first place.

Taking a moment each day to really absorb the incredible power within yourself will help you make better choices each day and learn how valuable having an abundance mindset can be for making progress towards whatever goals are most important to you in life.

16. Believe in Yourself and Your Goals.

Learning to believe in yourself and your goals is a powerful way to harness your inner power. The moment you commit to a goal, no matter how small, you are already taking the first step towards achieving it. Believe that you can do it, and strive to make it happen. This will keep you motivated on the journey ahead and help you reach heights you never thought possible.

When working toward a goal, practice positive self-talk and remind yourself of meaningful affirmations. Some examples of affirmations include:

  • I choose to be confident in myself.
  • I am capable of achieving my goals.
  • I trust that my decisions are wise.
  • Every day is an opportunity for me to grow.

On top of that, take the time to appreciate your progress and celebrate each milestone that you pass. Acknowledge what has been accomplished and enjoy the feeling of success. Remember, no achievement is too small; embrace them all.

17. Acknowledging Your Emotions

Acknowledging our emotions is no easy feat, but it is a surefire way to foster our inner power. When we take the time to lean into our emotions, we are taking a step toward self-empowerment . Not only does it build our emotional intelligence and make us better equipped to handle difficult times, but it also gives us the opportunity to learn from our feelings.

It’s important to recognize that feelings are neither good nor bad; they simply exist. Embracing them can be uncomfortable, but acknowledging your feelings is an act of courage that can lead to personal growth and help you gain insight into your life and values.

Here are examples of how you can acknowledge your emotions:

  • Identify what triggered the feeling.
  • Honor the emotion.
  • Label the emotion.
  • Consider how your body responds (e.g., increased heart rate, tightened muscles).
  • Accept that it’s ok to feel what you do ; don’t judge yourself for feeling a certain way.

By taking the time to name and understand your emotions , you can gain clarity on how they’re influencing what’s truly important in your life, ultimately empowering you in all areas of life.

No matter who you are or what your goals are, you’re capable of harnessing your inner power and potential to achieve great things. You may not know it, but within you lies a perfect version of yourself an ideal self that’s waiting to be realized.

It’s up to you to tap into that potential and set out on a journey of self-discovery to bring it to life. By exploring these examples we’ve discussed in this article, you can get a better understanding of what your ideal self looks like and how to get closer to achieving it.

It’s time to take control of your life and believe in the power of positive self-transformation. Discover the strength and courage within yourself to become the ideal version of yourself.

  • Ideal Self by Asha Ganesan from https://link.springer.com/,( Encyclopedia of Personality and Individual Differences / Reference work entry)
  • HOW TO BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF from Tony Robbins ( https://www.tonyrobbins.com/ )

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How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples

Published on September 21, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on May 31, 2023.

An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability. Your essay shouldn’t just be a resume of your experiences; colleges are looking for a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

To write about your achievements and qualities without sounding arrogant, use specific stories to illustrate them. You can also write about challenges you’ve faced or mistakes you’ve made to show vulnerability and personal growth.

Table of contents

Start with self-reflection, how to write about challenges and mistakes, how to write about your achievements and qualities, how to write about a cliché experience, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

Before you start writing, spend some time reflecting to identify your values and qualities. You should do a comprehensive brainstorming session, but here are a few questions to get you started:

  • What are three words your friends or family would use to describe you, and why would they choose them?
  • Whom do you admire most and why?
  • What are the top five things you are thankful for?
  • What has inspired your hobbies or future goals?
  • What are you most proud of? Ashamed of?

As you self-reflect, consider how your values and goals reflect your prospective university’s program and culture, and brainstorm stories that demonstrate the fit between the two.

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Writing about difficult experiences can be an effective way to show authenticity and create an emotional connection to the reader, but choose carefully which details to share, and aim to demonstrate how the experience helped you learn and grow.

Be vulnerable

It’s not necessary to have a tragic story or a huge confession. But you should openly share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to evoke an emotional response from the reader. Even a cliché or mundane topic can be made interesting with honest reflection. This honesty is a preface to self-reflection and insight in the essay’s conclusion.

Don’t overshare

With difficult topics, you shouldn’t focus too much on negative aspects. Instead, use your challenging circumstances as a brief introduction to how you responded positively.

Share what you have learned

It’s okay to include your failure or mistakes in your essay if you include a lesson learned. After telling a descriptive, honest story, you should explain what you learned and how you applied it to your life.

While it’s good to sell your strengths, you also don’t want to come across as arrogant. Instead of just stating your extracurricular activities, achievements, or personal qualities, aim to discreetly incorporate them into your story.

Brag indirectly

Mention your extracurricular activities or awards in passing, not outright, to avoid sounding like you’re bragging from a resume.

Use stories to prove your qualities

Even if you don’t have any impressive academic achievements or extracurriculars, you can still demonstrate your academic or personal character. But you should use personal examples to provide proof. In other words, show evidence of your character instead of just telling.

Many high school students write about common topics such as sports, volunteer work, or their family. Your essay topic doesn’t have to be groundbreaking, but do try to include unexpected personal details and your authentic voice to make your essay stand out .

To find an original angle, try these techniques:

  • Focus on a specific moment, and describe the scene using your five senses.
  • Mention objects that have special significance to you.
  • Instead of following a common story arc, include a surprising twist or insight.

Your unique voice can shed new perspective on a common human experience while also revealing your personality. When read out loud, the essay should sound like you are talking.

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

  • Writing process
  • Transition words
  • Passive voice
  • Paraphrasing

 Communication

  • How to end an email
  • Ms, mrs, miss
  • How to start an email
  • I hope this email finds you well
  • Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

  • Personal pronouns
  • Conjunctions

First, spend time reflecting on your core values and character . You can start with these questions:

However, you should do a comprehensive brainstorming session to fully understand your values. Also consider how your values and goals match your prospective university’s program and culture. Then, brainstorm stories that illustrate the fit between the two.

When writing about yourself , including difficult experiences or failures can be a great way to show vulnerability and authenticity, but be careful not to overshare, and focus on showing how you matured from the experience.

Through specific stories, you can weave your achievements and qualities into your essay so that it doesn’t seem like you’re bragging from a resume.

Include specific, personal details and use your authentic voice to shed a new perspective on a common human experience.

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actual self example essay

15 Tips for Writing a College Essay About Yourself

What’s covered:.

  • What is the Purpose of the College Essay?
  • How to Stand Out Without Showing Off
  • 15 Tips for Writing an Essay About Yourself
  • Where to Get Free Feedback on Your Essay

Most students who apply to top-tier colleges have exceptional grades, standardized test scores, and extracurricular activities. How do admissions officers decide which applicants to choose among all these stellar students? One way is on the strength of their college essay .

This personal statement, along with other qualitative factors like teacher recommendations, helps the admissions committee see who you really are—the person behind the transcript. So, it’s obviously important to write a great one.

What Is the Purpose of the College Essay? 

Your college essay helps you stand out in a pool of qualified candidates. If effective, it will also show the admissions committee more of your personality and allow them to get a sense of how you’ll fit in with and contribute to the student body and institution. Additionally, it will show the school that you can express yourself persuasively and clearly in writing, which is an important part of most careers, no matter where you end up. 

Typically, students must submit a personal statement (usually the Common App essay ) along with school-specific supplements. Some students are surprised to learn that essays typically count for around 25% of your entire application at the top 250 schools. That’s an enormous chunk, especially considering that, unlike your transcript and extracurriculars, it isn’t an assessment of your entire high school career.  

The purpose of the college essay is to paint a complete picture of yourself, showing admissions committees the person behind the grades and test scores. A strong college essay shows your unique experiences, personality, perspective, interests, and values—ultimately, what makes you unique. After all, people attend college, not their grades or test scores. The college essay also provides students with a considerable amount of agency in their application, empowering them to share their own stories.

How to Stand Out Without Showing Off 

It’s important to strike a balance between exploring your achievements and demonstrating humility. Your aim should be to focus on the meaning behind the experience and how it changed your outlook, not the accomplishment itself. 

Confidence without cockiness is the key here. Don’t simply catalog your achievements, there are other areas on your application to share them. Rather, mention your achievements when they’re critical to the story you’re telling. It’s helpful to think of achievements as compliments, not highlights, of your college essay.  

Take this essay excerpt , for example:

My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go. 

Instead of saying “ I received this scholarship and participated in this prestigious program, ” the author tells a story, demonstrating their growth and initiative through specific actions (riding the train alone, applying academic programs on her own, etc.)—effectively showing rather than telling.

15 Tips for Writing an Essay About Yourself 

1. start early .

Leave yourself plenty of time to write your college essay—it’s stressful enough to compose a compelling essay without putting yourself under a deadline. Starting early on your essay also leaves you time to edit and refine your work, have others read your work (for example, your parents or a teacher), and carefully proofread.

2. Choose a topic that’s meaningful to you 

The foundation of a great essay is selecting a topic that has real meaning for you. If you’re passionate about the subject, the reader will feel it. Alternatively, choosing a topic you think the admissions committee is looking for, but isn’t all that important to you, won’t make for a compelling essay; it will be obvious that you’re not very invested in it.

3. Show your personality 

One of the main points of your college essay is to convey your personality. Admissions officers will see your transcript and read about the awards you’ve won, but the essay will help them get to know you as a person. Make sure your personality is evident in each part—if you are a jokester, incorporate some humor. Your friends should be able to pick your essay from an anonymous pile, read it, and recognize it as yours. In that same vein, someone who doesn’t know you at all should feel like they understand your personality after reading your essay. 

4. Write in your own voice 

In order to bring authenticity to your essay, you’ll need to write in your own voice. Don’t be overly formal (but don’t be too casual, either). Remember: you want the reader to get to know the real you, not a version of you that comes across as overly stiff or stilted. You should feel free to use contractions, incorporate dialogue, and employ vocabulary that comes naturally to you. 

5. Use specific examples 

Real, concrete stories and examples will help your essay come to life. They’ll add color to your narrative and make it more compelling for the reader. The goal, after all, is to engage your audience—the admissions committee. 

For example, instead of stating that you care about animals, you should tell us a story about how you took care of an injured stray cat. 

Consider this side-by-side comparison:

Example 1: I care deeply about animals and even once rescued a stray cat. The cat had an injured leg, and I helped nurse it back to health.

Example 2: I lost many nights of sleep trying to nurse the stray cat back to health. Its leg infection was extremely painful, and it meowed in distress up until the wee hours of the morning. I didn’t mind it though; what mattered was that the cat regained its strength. So, I stayed awake to administer its medicine and soothe it with loving ear rubs.

The second example helps us visualize this situation and is more illustrative of the writer’s personality. Because she stayed awake to care for the cat, we can infer that she is a compassionate person who cares about animals. We don’t get the same depth with the first example. 

6. Don’t be afraid to show off… 

You should always put your best foot forward—the whole point of your essay is to market yourself to colleges. This isn’t the time to be shy about your accomplishments, skills, or qualities. 

7. …While also maintaining humility 

But don’t brag. Demonstrate humility when discussing your achievements. In the example above, for instance, the author discusses her accomplishments while noting that her parents thought of her as immature. This is a great way to show humility while still highlighting that she was able to prove her parents wrong.

8. Be vulnerable 

Vulnerability goes hand in hand with humility and authenticity. Don’t shy away from exploring how your experience affected you and the feelings you experienced. This, too, will help your story come to life. 

Here’s an excerpt from a Common App essay that demonstrates vulnerability and allows us to connect with the writer:  

“You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain. 

Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.

In this essay, the writer isn’t afraid to share his insecurities and feelings with us. He states that he had been “ appallingly ignorant ” of his brother’s pain, that he “ often felt out of step ” compared to his brother, and that he had felt “ more and more alone ” over time. These are all emotions that you may not necessarily share with someone you just met, but it’s exactly this vulnerability that makes the essay more raw and relatable. 

9. Don’t lie or hyperbolize 

This essay is about the authentic you. Lying or hyperbolizing to make yourself sound better will not only make your essay—and entire application—less genuine, but it will also weaken it. More than likely, it will be obvious that you’re exaggerating. Plus, if colleges later find out that you haven’t been truthful in any part of your application, it’s grounds for revoking your acceptance or even expulsion if you’ve already matriculated. 

10. Avoid cliches 

How the COVID-19 pandemic changed your life. A sports victory as a metaphor for your journey. How a pet death altered your entire outlook. Admissions officers have seen more essays on these topics than they can possibly count. Unless you have a truly unique angle, then it’s in your best interest to avoid them. Learn which topics are cliche and how to fix them . 

11. Proofread 

This is a critical step. Even a small error can break your essay, however amazing it is otherwise. Make sure you read it over carefully, and get another set of eyes (or two or three other sets of eyes), just in case.

12. Abstain from using AI

There are a handful of good reasons to avoid using artificial intelligence (AI) to write your college essay. Most importantly, it’s dishonest and likely to be not very good; AI-generated essays are generally formulaic, generic, and boring—everything you’re trying to avoid being.   The purpose of the college essay is to share what makes you unique and highlight your personal experiences and perspectives, something that AI can’t capture.

13. Use parents as advisors, not editors

The voice of an adult is different from that of a high schooler and admissions committees are experts at spotting the writing of parents. Parents can play a valuable role in creating your college essay—advising, proofreading, and providing encouragement during those stressful moments. However, they should not write or edit your college essay with their words.

14. Have a hook

Admissions committees have a lot of essays to read and getting their attention is essential for standing out among a crowded field of applicants. A great hook captures your reader’s imagination and encourages them to keep reading your essay. Start strong, first impressions are everything!

15. Give them something to remember

The ending of your college essay is just as important as the beginning. Give your reader something to remember by composing an engaging and punchy paragraph or line—called a kicker in journalism—that ties everything you’ve written above together.

Where to Get Free Feedback on Your College Essay 

Before you send off your application, make sure you get feedback from a trusted source on your essay. CollegeVine’s free peer essay review will give you the support you need to ensure you’ve effectively presented your personality and accomplishments. Our expert essay review pairs you with an advisor to help you refine your writing, submit your best work, and boost your chances of getting into your dream school. Find the right advisor for you and get started on honing a winning essay.

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Essay Samples on Myself

A message to myself: reflections, encouragement, and self-compassion.

Within the depths of our thoughts lies a space where we can have a heartfelt conversation with the most familiar person of all—ourselves. This message to myself encapsulates a journey of introspection, offering reflections, encouragement, and a reminder of the importance of self-compassion. In this...

Me, Myself, and I: The Triad of Identity in 500 Words

In the intricate mosaic of human existence, the triad of "Me, Myself, and I" forms the cornerstone of identity—a fusion of experiences, thoughts, emotions, and aspirations that intertwine to create a unique narrative. In this essay, we delve into the complex interplay of these three...

How I Learned to Love Myself

The odyssey of self-love is a deeply personal and transformative one—a journey that I embarked upon with uncertainty and emerged from with a profound sense of how I learned to love myself. In this essay, I delve into the layers of this voyage, exploring the...

Expectations for Myself as a Student

The journey through academia is a pursuit of growth, knowledge, and self-discovery. As I step into this realm, I am guided by expectations for myself as a student—goals that encompass not only academic achievements but also personal development and a commitment to lifelong learning. In...

Introducing Myself: Uniqueness Within and Self-Presentation

Stepping onto the stage of self-presentation, I embark on the journey of introducing myself—an endeavor that requires delicacy, authenticity, and an appreciation for the intricacies that define my identity. In this essay, I navigate the nuances of self-introduction, exploring the essence of who I am,...

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Knowing Myself: Unraveling the Self

The pursuit of knowing myself is an intricate voyage—a path that winds through the labyrinth of thoughts, emotions, and experiences that comprise the essence of who I am. In this introspective essay, I delve into the significance of self-awareness, the layers of identity, and the...

Understanding Myself: the Complexities of Self-Discovery

Embarking on the quest of understanding myself is an odyssey of introspection—a journey that delves into the intricacies of thoughts, emotions, and experiences that shape the unique tapestry of my identity. In this reflective essay, I delve into the significance of self-awareness, the layers of...

The Place I Can Be Myself: a Haven of Authenticity

Amid the bustling rhythms of life, there exists a sanctuary—a refuge where pretenses fade, and authenticity flourishes. In this introspective essay, I delve into the place I can be myself, reflecting on the significance of finding solace in an environment that embraces my true identity,...

Myself as a Writer: Crafting Words, Weaving Worlds

Embracing the identity of a writer is a journey of words and wonder—an odyssey that unfolds through the art of crafting narratives and evoking emotions. In this introspective essay, I delve into the essence of myself as a writer, reflecting on the power of storytelling,...

  • Being a Writer

Myself as a Counselor: My Journey as a Compassionate Guide

Stepping into the role of a counselor is an embodiment of empathy, guidance, and a commitment to fostering mental well-being. In this introspective essay, I delve into the realm of myself as a counselor, reflecting on the qualities that define my approach, the significance of...

Discovering Myself: Inner Exploration

The journey of discovering myself is a profound odyssey—a quest that delves into the intricacies of identity, purpose, and the essence of being. In this introspective essay, I embark on an expedition through the inner landscape, unraveling the layers of my character, aspirations, and the...

How I Value Myself: Nurturing Self-Worth

At the core of a fulfilling and empowered life lies the practice of self-worth—a journey of recognizing, appreciating, and embracing one's intrinsic value. In this reflective essay, I embark on an exploration of how I value myself. From acknowledging my strengths to embracing my vulnerabilities,...

History of Myself: Chronicles of Identity and Transformation

The history of myself is a narrative that unfolds across time, encompassing a tapestry of experiences, emotions, growth, and transformation. In this reflective essay, I embark on a journey to trace the history of myself—from the origins that shaped my identity to the chapters of...

Being Myself: Embracing Authenticity and Finding Inner Harmony

In a world often shaped by expectations and comparisons, the journey of being myself emerges as an exploration of authenticity, self-acceptance, and the pursuit of inner harmony. In this reflective essay, I delve into the intricacies of embracing my true self—the challenges, revelations, and rewards...

Describing Myself: Narrative of Self-Discovery

Every individual is an intricate tapestry of stories, experiences, and emotions. In this narrative essay, I embark on a reflective journey to unveil the layers that compose the canvas of my identity. Through the art of storytelling, I delve into the myriad experiences that contribute...

How Do I Define Myself: Unraveling the Layers of My Identity

The essence of being human lies in the intricate tapestry of individuality that weaves together experiences, beliefs, aspirations, and values. In this introspective essay, I embark on a journey to explore the profound question of how do I define myself. From the colors that paint...

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A Letter to Myself: Life's Journey with Reflection and Wisdom

Life is a tapestry woven with moments of joy, challenges, growth, and self-discovery. In this introspective essay, I embark on a journey of a letter to myself. As the author and recipient of this heartfelt correspondence, I delve into the wisdom gained from experiences, the...

Where I See Myself in the Future

The journey of life is akin to an artist's canvas, awaiting the strokes of dreams, ambitions, and actions to paint a masterpiece of the future. In this essay, I embark on a reflective journey to explore where I see myself in the future. From the...

Where Do I See Myself in 5 Years

Life is a journey that unfolds with each passing day, offering us the opportunity to set our sights on the horizon and envision where our efforts will lead us. In this essay, we embark on a voyage of introspection to explore the question: Where do...

Mapping the Future: Where Do I See Myself in 20 Years

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Reflections: How Do I See Myself as a Person

Introduction Self-perception is a complex, multifaceted topic, and can be influenced by many factors including our upbringing, our experiences, and our relationships. In this essay, I will explore the topic of self-perception, delving into the various aspects of how I see myself as a person,...

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Discovering My True Self: Embracing Confidence, Self-Belief, and Personal Growth

Before I understand myself, I started believing in myself. I started to think clearly and analyze what's my purpose in this world then I took the risk to study harder to achieve my dreams. I move forward and think positive so that I can concentrate...

Best topics on Myself

1. A Message to Myself: Reflections, Encouragement, and Self-Compassion

2. Me, Myself, and I: The Triad of Identity in 500 Words

3. How I Learned to Love Myself

4. Expectations for Myself as a Student

5. Introducing Myself: Uniqueness Within and Self-Presentation

6. Knowing Myself: Unraveling the Self

7. Understanding Myself: the Complexities of Self-Discovery

8. The Place I Can Be Myself: a Haven of Authenticity

9. Myself as a Writer: Crafting Words, Weaving Worlds

10. Myself as a Counselor: My Journey as a Compassionate Guide

11. Discovering Myself: Inner Exploration

12. How I Value Myself: Nurturing Self-Worth

13. History of Myself: Chronicles of Identity and Transformation

14. Being Myself: Embracing Authenticity and Finding Inner Harmony

15. Describing Myself: Narrative of Self-Discovery

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actual self example essay

Dialectics in DBT

  • March 6, 2018
  • Anxiety , couples , Depression , false self , Self-Help , stressful family , Therapy , Unconscious

While the true self is represented by our real feelings and desires, while the false self is a side of us that has changed its behaviour, repressed feelings and pushed needs aside in order to survive. We introduced the idea of the onion – the true self at the centre protected by outer layers of false self.

According to developmental psychologists like  John Bowlby  and  D. W. Winnicott , children are very attuned to their parents’ feelings and needs. They unconsciously recognize that they need their parents’ approval in order to survive, so strive to meet their needs as much as possible.

The true self – the child’s real feelings, needs, desires and thoughts – is pushed further and further inside the onion. Of course, we still have all of these feelings, needs, desires and thoughts, it’s just that the adapted false self dominates: it has to.

Although this striving is necessary in our younger years, it changes us. The false-self thought and behaviour patterns we develop during childhood stay with us as adults. While they used to be helpful, they often become a hindrance as we get older and gain more independence.

While some psychologists view the true self as black and white (true self is good, false self is bad), others maintain there are two types of false self: a healthy false self and an unhealthy false self.

The Healthy False Self

The healthy false self is described as one which allows someone to be functional in society.  It enables politeness and social courtesy, even when we may not feel like it.

There are times in our day-to-day lives when it would be harmful for us to let our true selves dominate. For instance, we don’t bare our deepest feelings and thoughts while at work. That kind of vulnerability would not only demonstrate a lack of boundaries but would also open us up to potential attack from others who might not treat our feelings with acceptance.

Instead, we use our healthy false self: one that functions perfectly and allows us to live our lives, but protects the true self, keeping it safe until a time when we are around people we know we can trust.

Put simply, a major component of the healthy false self is an awareness of personal boundaries.

A healthy false self is one that works with and stays committed to the true self. It is a form of useful self-protection, in that it shields us at times when vulnerability would not be appropriate, or might even be harmful.

The Unhealthy False Self

The unhealthy false self comes from the same origins as the healthy false self. However, for our long-term well-being, the effects of the unhealthy false self are quite different to those of its counterpart.

This false-self is the one behind many dysfunctional behaviours, including narcissism and addiction. D. W. Winnicott defines the unhealthy false self as one that fits into society through forced compliance rather than a desire to adapt.

Real-life examples of the false self are based around certain beliefs that we take on in order to fit into our worlds better.

If I am pretty, I will be more likeable.

If I have a lot of money, I am successful.

If I work hard/achieve more, I will have more value.

One more glass of wine, and I’ll start feeling better.

In our society, there is a huge emphasis on altruism and being selfless. We are taught to put others before ourselves, that it is good to ‘be there’ for other people and that self-sacrifice is a virtue.

All these beliefs are false self beliefs.

Our real feelings and desires matter .

They are what they are, and they are part of who we are. The ‘shoulds’, ‘ought tos’ and ‘have tos’ are learned ideas, not part of our true selves. When we think about how many activities we may carry out in our daily lives through a sense of obligation, it might be useful to trace these ‘shoulds’ back to their origin.

The only obligation we have to anyone is to  ourselves .

Reach out to us to learn more.

If you feel interested in exploring this within yourself, reach out to our therapists in Philadelphia today!

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The Concept of Self: Ideal, Aught and Actual Domains Essay

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Introduction

The ideal, aught and actual domains, integrating the three domains, self-discrepancy theory, works cited.

The question that has persisted for a long time revolves around whether there is just one self in every person or do people consist of different “selves”. Scholars argue that the life situations that we encounter daily play a critical role in moulding our “self”. In simpler terms, every individual has multiple social “selves” and those who interact with him tend to carry a specific image of the person in their head. All through life, many people tend to understand themselves through others; their “selves” are shaped by their own standpoint and that of their significant others. Therefore, the concept of self derives its meaning from three domains, the ideal, aught and actual selves, which guides an individual’s behaviour based on experiences and situations.

The ideal self domain is the created version of self which manifest through life-long learning and experiences. Boyatzis and Udayan defined it as a “highly prized part and a motivator within a person’s concept of self” (135). It is imperative to note that this domain is often influenced by the demands of society and what people find interesting in their role models. For example, my parents have well-paying jobs, which explains why they are respected and admired in the community. As their first born child, my parents constantly remind me that the only way to find a higher-paying job is through hard work. In fact, my father always wishes that I follow in his footsteps. In essence, the ideal self, as evidenced from my experiences with my parents, is the person others want you to be.

The aught self domain comprises of all the attributes that you believe you should have. For example, this domain requires that I develop a sense of duty and responsibility, especially when my parents are not around. From a Christian perspective, the book of Romans 3: 23, explains clearly that as humans we may fail to measure up to our ideal selves, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” This verse reminds me of why I always feel shame and guilt whenever I fail to live up to my expectations and those of society, family, and friends. It is for this reason that Christians need a saviour as their role model – to rely on as they walk through life. As humans, we sometimes experience instances of guilt and shame because we tend to set high expectations than we can achieve.

The actual self domain can be described as the way in which an individual sees themselves now – what they really are. For example, my focus in life has always been to be the best version of myself. To achieve this requires an in-depth examination and scrutiny – “owning ourselves in all consequences”, especially those that results in what we did in the past and making a resolve to change (Legault 232). Once we accept all our consequences, either intentionally or unintentionally, we move a step closer towards being our true self. My aim all along has been to find a way of aligning the way I am and the way I want to be. For instance, my ideal self-image is to be smart and find a high-paying job. However, to achieve this requires that I comprise some elements of my actual self, such as my love for partying.

Integrating these three domains of self helps one develop a clear understanding that although we sometimes find a sense of unity in who we are, it does not mean that we have one self. At some point in life, everyone tends to get surprised by how they acted or even feel conflicted about themselves depending on how they reacted in some situations. For example, one of my friends, who many thought of being a coward, surprised everyone when he stood up to a bully who had humiliated him for a long time. In fact, his actions saw him gain respect and admiration among his peers.

In line with the above, the life experiences play an important role in shaping how others perceive you. To illustrate what this statement means, I will rely on what happened to me sometime back while living with my parents. I received a call on our home phone from an individual who wanted to talk to my father. The caller had interacted with my father on several occasions and was calling to invite him to be the main speaker at an upcoming conference. He described my father as someone who is affable and socially engaging –he was the right candidate for the occasion. I later told my mother about how the caller characterized my father, and she just laughed. According to her, my father was rather reserved and more hesitant, especially in small conversations.

The overall point from the above example is that people have multiple self-states. This is what informed Redfearn’s book – the author was concerned with understanding some of the forces that influence humans to display multiple “selves”. For example, Redfearn observed that people “conceive self as a pattern of behaviour and experience through time” (37). The author further maintained that people tend to do different things across time, all of which contribute to their sense of self.

In a different study, Hayes et al. observed that our behaviour is influenced by the situation (31). This is true because I have, on several occasions, displayed my ideal self, especially during my best moments. It sometimes felt as if a conduit had opened and something was pushing me forward to take part in an oral contest which revolved around my favourite subjects. Deep down, I knew I could perform better and after the contest, everyone, including the judges, was surprised by my final scores. I occasionally look back to this moment and wonder how I managed to answer almost all the questions.

Self-discrepancy theory holds that people have different beliefs and expectations about their actual and other “selves” that do not always align with what they experience. In other words, the actual, ideal and aught self can conflict with each other in some situations (Mason et al. 372). The dissimilarity between the actual and ideal/aught selves may, in some cases, “motivate an individual to act for self-improvement” (Mason et al. 375).

For example, if my ideal self chooses to take part in charitable work within my community, them my actual self may be compelled to do so. However, the divergence in the two selves can sometimes be stressful. This is the case especially to those professional women who also double as mothers. The aught self for these women is inclined towards achieving professional success and advancement. Their ideal self, on the other hand, revolves around a sense of duty and obligation to their family, a full-time mother. The actual self domain of these women may compel them to find a balance between their careers and as mothers. However, most of them fail to live up to the expectations of either. These differences may, in the end, lead to emotional and behavioural change.

My ideal self-image growing up has always been to tell the truth. For instance, my parents once asked me why I came home late. At first, I was tempted to lie but when I told them I did not want to leave the party because all of my friends were there, I felt some sense of relief. In fact, I did not care about the ramifications, I just felt good I told the truth. If I had decided to lie about my whereabouts then the conflict between my actual and ideal selves would have resulted in mental distress. As a matter of fact, I tend to experience negative feelings whenever I lie.

The concept of self, as described above, derive meaning from three domains, the ideal, aught and actual selves, which guide an individual’s behaviour based on experiences and situations. The actual self comprises of the attributes that you believe you actually possess while the ideal self consists of traits that someone else wants you to possess. The aught self, on the other hand, entails the attributes that you believe you should have. While some people find it easy to balance between the multiple selves, others struggle to find healthy relationship between them. In fact, some people experience these selves as competing versions which create conflict and distress.

Boyatzis, Richard, and Udayan Dhar. “Dynamics of the Ideal Self.” Journal of Management Development 5 (2021): 123-234.

Hayes, Steven C., et al. “The Centrality of Sense of Self in Psychological Flexibility Processes: What the Neurobiological and Psychological Correlates of Psychedelics Suggest.” Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science 15 (2020): 30-38.

Legault, Lisa. “Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation.” Encyclopedia of Personality and Individual Differences (2020): 230-241.

Mason, Tyler B., et al. “Self-Discrepancy Theory as a Trans-diagnostic Framework: A Meta-Analysis of Self-Discrepancy and Psychopathology.” Psychological Bulletin 145.4 (2019): 372-400.

Redfearn, Joseph WT. My Self, My Many Selves . Routledge, 2018.

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actual self example essay

  • Asha Ganesan 3  

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Self-actualization ; Self-ideal

The ideal self is the part of a person’s self-concept that consists of their desires, hopes, and wishes (Higgins 1987 ; Rogers 1959 ). It is a part of the self that is highly prized by the individual; thus, the ideal self is considered to be a motivator within a person’s self-concept (Higgins 1987 ; Rogers 1959 ).

Introduction

The self is theorized as consisting of three domains: the actual self, the ideal self, and the ought self (Higgins 1987 ). Ideal self is “the self-concept which the individual would most like to possess, upon which he places the highest value for himself” (Rogers 1959 , p.200). It is constructed of a person’s hopes, wishes, and goals (Higgins 1987 ). When a person’s ideal self is congruent with their actual self (self-attributes a person believes he/she actually possess), self-actualization occurs and the person is progressing toward becoming a fully functioning person (Rogers 1959 ). Both ideal and ought self are...

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Procrastination

What's your "ought self" like, actual self, ought self: beware of the discrepancy.

Posted May 22, 2008 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

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Our ideal self is the person we want to be. Our ought self is our understanding of what others want us to be—what we ought to be and do. Then there is our actual self. What happens when our actual self doesn't match the ideal or ought selves?

E. Tory Higgins defined the relation between these various selves—actual, ideal and ought—in his self-discrepancy theory . The ideal and ought selves are our "guides" or standards that we use to organize information and motivate action. The motivational properties of these selves are related to the specific emotions that are associated with the discrepancy between the actual self and either the ideal or ought self. For example, when our actual self does not align with our ideal self, we typically feel disappointed, sad, or despondent. When our actual self does not match our ought self, we typically feel agitated, guilty, distressed, and anxious. As the picture above suggests, our perceptions or misperceptions of self and the discrepancy between our actual and ideal selves can have dire consequences. However, the health effects of self-discrepancy theory are not my focus. I want to consider how self-discrepancy might relate to our needless task delay.

A recent study indicates that procrastinators have a greater actual-ought self discrepancy than non-procrastinators. Joe Ferrari (DePaul University), Mark Driscoll (former undergraduate student at Marquette University), and Juan Francisco Diaz-Morales (Complutense University, Madrid) examined the self of chronic procrastinators by having research participants sort self-descriptive statements in relation to their perceived actual, ought, and undesired selves.

Their Research

Early in the term, student volunteers completed a measure of procrastination . A couple of weeks later, these participants were asked to sort 48 index cards into piles. Each index card had an attribute or characteristic of the self written on it; these included both self-concept and self-presentational traits. For example, self-concept statements on the card included words or phrases like: hard worker, good at meeting deadlines, reliable, trustworthy, dependable, forceful. Self-presentational tactics included: excuse-making, justification, enhancement, intimidation.

The sorting task was conducted in three phases. First, participants sorted the cards to reflect their true (actual) selves. This was followed by sorts for the ought self and the undesired self. Self-discrepancy scores were calculated for each of the three self-domains such that the number of cards sorted that mismatched minus the number of cards that matched for actual-self and ought-self constituted the actual-ought discrepancy score. The same procedure was used for the actual-undesired discrepancy and ought-undesired discrepancy scores.

Their Findings

The scores on the procrastination measure were used to group the participants into high and low procrastination groups. Participants in the high procrastination group ("procrastinators") had greater discrepancies than non-procrastinators in how they perceived their self-concept characteristics and self-presentational tactics. Specifically, procrastinators had larger discrepancies between actual—and ought-selves as well as actual—and undesired-selves. As the authors note, the results are consistent with previous research "... such that actual-ought discrepancy was the best predictor of procrastination as assessed by the AIP [Adult Inventory of Procrastination]" (p. 120).

What Does All This Mean?

The motivational properties of ideal and ought selves basically represent a dichotomy between approach and avoidance, respectively. These self-guides also influence our motivation in other ways. For example, what we pay attention to is different for the ideal and ought selves. The ideal self guides us to pay attention to cues for achievement and successful goal pursuit. This is what Higgins labels a "promotion focus." In contrast, the "prevention focus" is defined by the ought self for which we pay attention to avoiding harm. This is also true of the motivational properties of the undesired self. We work to avoid this self, the prevention focus.

Not surprisingly, there is a contrast in how these approach and avoidance motivations relate to our emotions. When we achieve goals related to our ideal self (our promotion focus), we feel pleasure. When we achieve goals related to our ought self (the prevention focus), we feel relief. There are certainly individual differences in whether we typically focus on the ideal self and approach motivations, or the ought (or undesired) self and avoidance motivations.

With the actual-self/ought-self discrepancy noted in this research, we may infer that avoidance may take the form of procrastination. Certainly, the emotions associated with this discrepancy, namely agitation, guilt , and anxiety , are emotions well known to chronic procrastinators. Unfortunately, the research conducted to date raises more questions than it answers in terms of how our sense of the ought self as defined by Higgins and colleagues relates to procrastination.

Concluding Comments

All research, particularly in the social sciences, is at best penultimate. We're always left with new questions and possibilities. That said, we're also able to piece together more of our "likely stories" about the world and how it works.

In the case of procrastination, the likely story we might tell based on the research of Ferrari and his colleagues is that procrastinators feel the weight of the ought self, what is expected of them, "what they ought to be doing" instead of what they're actually doing. Even when they finally achieve their goals, perhaps with their typical "last-minute efforts," the emotion is often one of relief as opposed to real pleasure in their accomplishments. When they aren't acting, when their actual selves are far off their ought selves, their emotions are typically agitation, guilt, and anxiety.

actual self example essay

We've seen this form of avoidance in relation to the expectations of others earlier with our consideration of socially-prescribed perfectionism . When we're trying to live up to others' expectations (others' prescriptions of our ought self), we're more likely to procrastinate. We've also discussed this in relation to making the tasks in our lives our own—authentically living our lives in a way where we identify with our tasks in relation to our values and goals (see, for example, the post about existentialism, self-deception , and procrastination).

To the extent that we live our lives in pursuit of our ideal selves (our hopes ), as opposed to trying to live up to our ought selves or trying to avoid our feared undesired selves, we may well be on the path to effective, authentic action and less needless task delay motivated by falsely internalized goals.

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Ferrari, J.R., Driscoll, M., & Diaz-Morales J. F. (2007). Examining the self of chronic procrastinators: Actual, ought and undesired attributes. Individual Differences Research, 5 , 115-123.

Higgins, E. T. (1989) Self-discrepancy: A theory relating self and affect, Psychological Review, 94 , 319-340

Higgins, E. T., Roney, C., Crowe, E., & Hymes, C. (1994). Ideal versus ought predilections for approach and avoidance: Distinct self-regulatory systems. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 66 , 276-286.

Lay, C.H. (1995). Trait procrastination, agitation, dejection, and self-discrepancy. In J.R. Ferrari, J.A. Johnson & W.C. McCown, Procrastination and task avoidance: Theory, research and treatment . New York: Plenum Press.

Orellana-Damacela, L.E., Tindale, T.S., & Suarez-Balcazar, Y. (2000). Decisional and behavioral procrastination: How they relate to self-discrepancies. J ournal of Social Behavior and Personality , 15 , 225-238.

Timothy A Pychyl Ph.D.

Tim Pychyl, Ph.D. , is a recently retired university faculty at Carleton University, he spent his career researching and writing about procrastination.

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Self-Actualization In Psychology: Theory, Examples & Characteristics

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On This Page:

Self-actualization is the complete realization of one’s potential, and the full development of one’s abilities and appreciation for life. This concept is at the top of the Maslow hierarchy of needs , so not every human being reaches it.

Key Takeaways

  • Kurt Goldstein, Carl Rogers, and Abraham Maslow are three individuals who have contributed immensely to our understanding of the concept of self-actualization.
  • The present-day understanding of self-actualization tends to be more aligned with the view of Maslow than with the perspectives of Goldstein or Rogers.
  • According to Maslow, the internal drive to self-actualize would seldom emerge until more basic needs are met.
  • Self-actualized people have an acceptance of who they are despite their faults and limitations and experience to drive to be creative in all aspects of their lives.
  • While self-actualizers hail from a variety of backgrounds and a diversity of occupations, they share notable characteristics in common, such as the ability to cultivate deep and loving relationships with others.

Maslow Hierarchy of needs physiological safety love belonging esteem self actualization in pyramid diagram modern flat style vector design.

Self-actualization (also referred to as self-realization or self-cultivation) can be described as the complete realization of one’s potential as manifest in peak experiences which involve the full development of one’s abilities and appreciation for life (Maslow, 1962).

The attainment of self-actualization involves one’s full involvement in life and the realization of that which one is capable of accomplishing.

Generally, the state of self-actualization is viewed as obtainable only after one’s fundamental needs for survival, safety, love, and self-esteem are met (Maslow, 1943, 1954).

Self-Actualization Theory

Self-actualization theory emphasizes the innate drive of individuals to reach their full potential.

Kurt Goldstein highlighted the holistic nature of self-actualization, encompassing physical, psychological, and social well-being.

Maslow proposed a hierarchy of needs, with self-actualization at the highest level, while Rogers focused on the importance of congruence and unconditional positive regard in fostering personal growth. 

Kurt Goldstein

Even though the term “self-actualization” is most associated with Abraham Maslow, it was originally introduced by Kurt Goldstein, a physician specializing in psychiatry and neuroanatomy during the early part of the 20th century.

Goldstein (1939, 1940) viewed self-actualization as the ultimate goal of every organism and refers to man”s” desire for self-fulfillment, and the propensity of an individual to become actualized in his potential.

He contended that each human being, plant, and animal has an inborn goal to actualize itself as it is.

Goldstein pointed out that organisms, therefore, behave in accordance with this overarching motivation.

In his book, “The Organism: A Holistic Approach to Biology Derived from Pathological Data in Man”, Goldstein argued that self-actualization involves the tendency to actualize an organism’s individual capacities as much as possible (Goldstein, 2000).

According to Goldstein’s (1940) view, self-actualization was not necessarily a goal to be reached in the future but an organism’s innate propensity to realize its potential at any moment under the given circumstances.

Carl Rogers

Carl Rogers described self-actualization as the continuous lifelong process whereby an individual’s self-concept is maintained and enhanced via reflection and the reinterpretation of various experiences, which enable the individual to recover, change and develop (Rogers, 1951).

According to Rogers (1967), the human organism has an underlying “actualizing tendency”, which aims to develop all capacities in ways that maintain or enhance the organism and move it toward autonomy.

According to Rogers, people could only self-actualize if they had a positive self-view (positive self-regard).  This can only happen if they have unconditional positive regard from others – if they feel valued and respected without reservation by those around them (especially their parents when they were children).

Self-actualization is only possible if there is congruence between how an individual sees themselves ( self-image ) and their ideal self (the way they want to be or think they should be).

If there is a large gap between these two concepts, negative feelings of self-worth will arise, making it impossible for self-actualization to occur.

congruence 1

Rogers (1967) posits that the structure of the self is a consistent yet fluid pattern of perceptions of oneself that is organized and formed via evaluational interactions.

However, the tension between one’s ideal sense of self and one’s experiences (or self-image) can produce incongruence, a psychopathological state stemming from the perversions of one’s unitary actualizing tendency.

For Rogers (1967), a person who is in the process of self-actualizing, actively exploring potentials and abilities and experiencing a match between real and ideal selves is a fully functioning person.

Becoming a Fully functioning person means “that the individual moves towards “being”, knowingly and acceptingly, the process which he inwardly and actually “is.” He moves away from what he is not, from being a facade.

He is not trying to be more than he is, with the attendant feelings of insecurity or bombastic defensiveness. He is not trying to be less than he is, with the attendant feelings of guilt or self-deprecation.

He is increasingly listening to the deepest recesses of his psychological and emotional being, and finds himself increasingly willing to be, with greater accuracy and depth, that self which he most truly is”.

Fully functioning people are in touch with their own feelings and abilities and are able to trust their innermost urges and intuitions.

To become fully functioning, a person needs unconditional positive regard from others, especially their parents in childhood.

Unconditional positive regard is an attitude of acceptance of others despite their failings.

However, most people don’t perceive the positive regard of others as being unconditional. They tend to think they will only be loved and valued if they meet certain conditions of worth.

These conditions of worth create incongruity within the self between the real self (how the person is) and the ideal self (how they think they should be or want to be).

Abraham Maslow

As did Goldstein, Maslow viewed self-actualization as realizing one’s potential. However, Maslow (1967) described self-actualization more narrowly than Goldstein by applying it solely to human beings—rather than all organisms.

Maslow pointed out that humans have lower-order needs that must be generally met before their higher order needs can be satiated, such as self-actualization. He categorized those needs as follows (Maslow, 1943):

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

1. Basic needs: a. Physiological needs (ex- water, food, warmth and rest). b. Safety needs (ex- safety and security). 2. Psychological needs. a. Belongingness needs (ex- close relationships with loved ones and friends). b. Esteem needs (ex- feeling of accomplishment and prestige). 3. Self-actualization needs (realizing one’s full potential).

Self-actualize is the final stage of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs , so not every human being reaches it.

maslow needs3

To Maslow, self-actualization meant the desire for self-fulfillment, or a person’s tendency to be actualized in what he or she is potentially.

Individuals may perceive or focus on this need very specifically. For example, one individual may have a strong desire to become an ideal parent. In another, the desire may be expressed economically, academically, or athletically. For others, it may be expressed creatively in paintings, pictures, or inventions.

Maslow further explained that self-actualization involves the intrinsic development of an organism. He contended that self-actualization is more growth-oriented than deficiency-focused (Gleitman, Fridlund, & Riesberg, 2004).

Maslow acknowledged the apparent rarity of self-actualized people and argued that most people are suffering from psychopathology of normality.

Unlike Sigmund Freud , whose psychodynamic approach was focused on unhealthy individuals engaging in disturbing conduct, Maslow was associated with the humanistic approach, which focuses on healthy individuals.

Consequently, Maslow’s perspective is more consistent with a positive view of human nature, which sees individuals as driven to reach their potential. This humanistic perspective markedly differs from the Freudian view of human beings as tension-reducing organisms.

Examples of Self-Actualizations

Examples of self-actualization can vary greatly from person to person as it involves the pursuit of personal growth and fulfillment in line with one’s unique values and aspirations. 

Some examples may include:
  • Pursuing a passion or creative endeavor, such as painting, writing, or playing an instrument.
  • Setting and achieving meaningful goals that align with personal values and aspirations.
  • Engaging in acts of kindness and altruism to contribute to the well-being of others.
  • Seeking personal development through continuous learning and acquiring new skills.
  • Embracing authenticity and living in alignment with one’s true values and beliefs.
  • Cultivating meaningful relationships and connections with others based on mutual respect and support.
  • Engaging in self-reflection and introspection to gain deeper self-awareness and personal insight.
  • Making choices and decisions that prioritize personal happiness and well-being rather than external validation.
  • Embracing and accepting oneself fully, including both strengths and weaknesses.
  • Experiencing moments of flow, where one is fully immersed and engaged in an activity that brings a sense of joy, purpose, and fulfillment.

Moving beyond mere theory and speculation, Maslow identified several individuals he considered to have attained a level of self-actualization (Maslow, 1970).

Noteworthy herein are the diversity of occupations and the variety of the backgrounds which these individuals represent while still meeting the criteria of self-actualization.

Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865; American President) Albert Einstein (1879- 1955; Theoretical Physicist) Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965; Writer, Humanitarian, Theologian, Organist, Philosopher, and Physician) Aldous Huxley (1894- 1963; Philosopher and Writer) Baruch Spinoza (1632- 1677; Philosopher) Eleanor Roosevelt (1884-1962; Diplomat and Activist) Jane Addams (1860-1935; Settlement Activist, Sociologist, Public Administrator) Thomas Jefferson (1743- 1826; American President, Architect, Philosopher) William James (1842- 1910; Philosopher and Psychologist)

Characteristics of Self-Actualized Individuals

Abraham Maslow based his theory on case studies of historical figures whom he saw as examples of self-actualized individuals, including Albert Einstein, Ruth Benedict, and Eleanor Roosevelt.

Maslow examined the lives of each of these people in order to assess the common qualities that led each to become self-actualized.

Based on Maslow’s description of self-actualizers, one can find several striking similarities that these supposedly self-actualized individuals share in common.

Some of such characteristics which distinguish self-actualized individuals from the rest of humanity are as follows (Maslow, 1954, 1970).
  • Self-actualized people are accepting of others as well as their own flaws, often with humor and tolerance. Not only do self-actualized people fully accept others, but they are also true to themselves rather than pretending in order to impress others (Talevich, 2017).
  • Self-actualized people also tend to be independent and resourceful: they are less likely to rely upon external authorities to direct their lives (Martela & Pessi, 2018).
  • Can cultivate deep and loving relationships with others.
  • Tendency to exude gratitude and maintain a deep appreciation even for the commonplace blessings in life.
  • Can often discern between the superficial and the real when judging situations.
  • Seldom depend upon their environment or culture to form their opinions.
  • Tendency to view life as a mission that calls them to a purpose beyond themselves.

Critical Evaluation

Despite the popularity of self-actualization as a concept associated with positive psychology and motivation theories, it does not cease to draw criticism.

The Canadian psychiatrist Eric Berne for instance, has called self-actualization the game of self-expression based on the belief that good feelings are to be pursued (Berne, 2016).

Additionally, critics have pointed out that self-actualizing tendencies can lead to a positive but non-relational approach to human beings (Thorne, 1992). Moreover, Fritz Perls has noted that the focus can easily shift from striving to actualize one’s sense of self to merely attempting to build an appearance of self-actualization, which can be misleading (Perls, 1992).

Vitz (1994) has contended that Maslow and Rogers have turned the psychological concept of self-actualization into a moral norm. Finally, the possibility of self-actualization has also come to be seen as a special privilege reserved only for a select few.

In response to these concerns, Maslow has acknowledged that expressions of unrestrained whims and the pursuit of private pleasures have often been mislabeled as self-actualization (Daniels, 2005). Maslow, too, shared the concern that the concept might be misunderstood.

In fact, when many people wrote to Maslow describing themselves as self-actualized persons, Maslow doubted whether he had sufficiently articulated his theory (Steven, 1975).

However, Maslow did not hold that only an elite few could attain the state of self-actualization. On the contrary, he pointed out that often people living in strikingly similar circumstances experience enormously different outcomes in life.

He reasoned that such a reality underscores the importance of attitude as a factor that influences one’s destiny.

Paradoxical narrative of self-actualization

Winston (2018) takes a fresh look at Abraham Maslow’s classic work on self-actualization. She provides a nuanced analysis of the paradoxical nature of self-actualizers’ perceptions of themselves, others, and the world.

Winston dismantles Maslow’s chapter on self-actualization from his seminal Motivation and Personality book and rearranges it to demonstrate the ongoing struggle Maslow faced in describing self-actualizers.

On one hand, he would characterize them in a certain way, only to provide a contradictory example shortly after. For instance, he described them as accepting reality yet noted they display resignation. Or as free from excessive guilt yet not immune to anxiety and self-criticism (Winston, 2018).

On one hand, Maslow portrayed self-actualizers as comfortable with uncertainty, doubt and vagueness. Yet he also stated they are rarely unsure or conflicted (Winston, 2018).

Additionally, he characterized them as capable of fully identifying with, and losing themselves in, close relationships. However, he also noted they retain a certain detachment from loved ones.

Rather than dismissing these opposing descriptions as contradictions or inconsistencies, as some scholars have done, Winston sees them as paradoxes that convey the complexity of psychological health. In her analysis, she uncovers three key paradoxes:

  • Self-actualizers share common traits yet remain utterly unique individuals.
  • Their perceptions of themselves, others and the world are simultaneously positive and negative. They have an accurate view of reality as messy rather than black-and-white.
  • They can accept what cannot change yet have the courage to change what they can, displaying wisdom in discerning the difference (Winston, 2018).

Winston argues that the paradoxical nature of self-actualization illustrates that psychological health entails the contextually appropriate expression of human potentialities, whether viewed as positive or negative.

Her framework challenges approaches that unconditionally promote some potentials while suppressing others. Instead, she advocates examining the conditions under which any given potentiality may be adaptive or maladaptive.

For individualistic cultures only?

The concept of self-actualization, characterized by realizing one’s full potential, is often seen as the pinnacle of psychological development. However, the cultural specificity of self-actualization has been questioned (Itai, 2008).

Specifically, the individualistic focus on developing uniqueness, fulfilling one’s capacities, and prioritizing personal growth over social belonging may not generalize across cultures.

Research suggests self-actualization aligns closely with individualistic values prominent in the West, but not necessarily with the collectivist values of interdependence and social harmony found in Asia, Africa, and Central and South America.

Itai Ivtzan (2008) compared 100 British (individualistic culture) and 100 Indian (collectivist culture) participants aged 18-25 on their responses to the Personal Orientation Inventory (POI). The POI measures 12 characteristics seen as central to self-actualization (Shostrom, 1963).

As predicted, the British group scored significantly higher than the Indian group on 10 out of 12 scales, including time competence, inner-directedness, self-actualizing values, feeling reactivity, and self-acceptance.

Ivtzan concluded that the concept of self-actualization, as currently defined, lacks cross-cultural validity. The lower POI scores from the Indian group likely reflect measurement bias rather than truly less self-actualization. Cultures shape the meaning of self-fulfillment in different ways. While the drive to achieve one’s potential is universal, how this manifests likely depends on cultural values.

These findings underscore the need to re-examine concepts like self-actualization through a cross-cultural lens.

Applying Western models globally risks promoting an ethnocentric view of human motivation and adjustment. Future research should explore how self-actualization presents in diverse cultures. Practically, the study also cautions the use of self-actualization theory in multi-cultural organizational contexts.

What is self-actualization?

Self-actualization is a concept in psychology that refers to the process of fulfilling one’s true potential, becoming the best version of oneself, and achieving personal growth, meaning, and fulfillment in various aspects of life.

According to Maslow, what are some of the traits and qualities of self-actualizing individuals?

According to Maslow, self-actualizing individuals exhibit traits and qualities such as autonomy, authenticity, creativity, self-acceptance, a sense of purpose, strong values, peak experiences, and the ability to have meaningful relationships. They strive for personal growth, fulfillment, and reaching their highest potential.

What is the difference between self-actualization and self-transcendence?

Self-actualization refers to fulfilling one’s potential and becoming the best version of oneself, while self-transcendence goes beyond the self and involves connecting to something greater, such as meaning, values, or the well-being of others, to achieve a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

Berne, E. (2016). Games people play the psychology of human relationships . Penguin Life.

Daniels, M. (2005). Shadow, self, spirit: essays in transpersonal psychology (p. 122) . Imprint Academic.

Gleitman, Henry & Fridlund, Alan & Riesberg, Daniel. (2004). Psychology (6th Ed.) . New York: Norton.

Goldstein, K. (1939). The Organism . New York, NY: American Books.

Goldstein, K. (1940). Human Nature . Cambridge, Mass. Harvard University Press.

Itai, I. (2008). Self actualisation: For individualistic cultures only?.  International Journal on Humanistic Ideology ,  1 (02), 113-139.

Maslow, A. H. (1943). A theory of human motivation. Psychological Review, 50 (4), 370-96.

Maslow, A. H. (1954). Motivation and personality . New York: Harper and Row.

Maslow, A. H. (1962). Toward a psychology of being . Princeton: D. Van Nostrand Company.

Martela, F., & Pessi, A. B. (2018). Significant work is about self-realization and broader purpose: defining the key dimensions of meaningful work . Frontiers in Psychology , 9, 363.

Maslow, A.H. (1970). Motivation and Personality . New York: Harper & Row.

Perls, F. S. (1992). In and out the garbage pail . Gestalt Journal Press.

Rogers, C. (1951). Client-centered. Therapy , 515-520.

Rogers, C. (1963) The Actualizing Tendency in Relation to “Motives” and to Consciousness. In: Jones, M.R., Ed., Nebraska Symposium on Motivation , University of Nebraska Press, Lincoln, 1-24.

Rogers, C. (1967). On becoming a person: a therapist’s view of psychotherapy . London: Constable.

Rogers, C., & Kramer, P. D. (1995). On becoming a person : a therapist’s view of psychotherapy . Houghton Mifflin.

Shostrom, E. L. (1963). Personal orientation inventory.

Stevens, B. (1975). Body work. Gestalt is , 160-191.

Talevich, J. R., Read, S. J., Walsh, D. A., Iyer, R., & Chopra, G. (2017). Toward a comprehensive taxonomy of human motives . PloS one, 12 (2), e0172279.

Thoma, E. (1963). Nebraska Symposium on Motivation. Psychosomatics, 4 (2), 122–123.

Thorne, B. (1992). Key figures in counselling and psychotherapy. Carl Rogers. Sage Publications, Inc.

Venter, Henry. (2017). Self-Transcendence: Maslow’s Answer to Cultural Closeness. Journal of Innovation Management, 4 (4), 3-7.

Vitz, P. C. (1994). Psychology as religion: The cult of self-worship . Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing.

Winston, C. N. (2018). To be  and  not to be: A paradoxical narrative of self-actualization.  The Humanistic Psychologist, 46 (2), 159–174.  https://doi.org/10.1037/hum0000082

Further Reading

  • A cognitive‐systemic reconstruction of Maslow’s theory of self‐actualization
  • An inventory for the measurement of self-actualization
  • Questionnaire: Are you self-actualized?

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Home / Essay Samples / Psychology / Self Concept / Real vs. Ideal Self: A Journey of Self-Discovery

Real vs. Ideal Self: A Journey of Self-Discovery

  • Category: Life , Psychology , Sociology
  • Topic: Personality , Self Concept , Self Identity

Pages: 3 (1407 words)

Views: 1083

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  • Adjustment is a process, 
  • By this process the individual tries to bring a harmonious, stable and satisfying relationship with his environment, i.e., by this process the individual alters his impulses and responses to fit the demands of his environment, 
  • By this process the individuals tries to satisfy his needs and desires in accordance with environmental demands on the one hand, and his abilities and limitations on the other, 
  • A good adjustment always aims at long-term satisfaction instead of satisfying an immediate intense needs”. 
  • Adequate feeling of security, 
  • Reasonable degree of self-evaluation (insight), 
  • Realistic life goals, 
  • Effective contact with reality,
  • Integration and consistency of personality, 
  • Ability to learn from experience, (vii) Adequate spontaneity, 
  • Appropriate emotionality, 
  • Ability to satisfy the requirements of group coupled with some degree of emancipation from the group (as expressed in individuality),
  • Adequate but exaggerated bodily desires with the ability to gratify them in an approved fashion. 
  • The value system of one's culture differs from another.
  • Even in the same culture value systems change from time to time.
  • Adjustment is to be evaluated considering an individual's developmental level.
  • Adjustment involves a continuous variable.
  • A well adjusted person establishes a harmonious, stable and satisfying relationship with the environment. He meets his needs and fulfils his desires with the resources available in the environment form the view point of his own welfare and that of others. He has realistic self-perception, and appraises his own abilities as well as limitations realistically.
  • He has control on impulses, thoughts, habits, emotions and behavior in terms of self-imposed principles or of demands made by the society. He enjoys a mental life, which is free from depressions, intense fears, acute anxiety, hostility, sense of guilt, insecurity and disruption of thought etc., to a great extent.

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