the difference between hook and thesis

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Guide to Writing Introductions and Conclusions

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First and last impressions are important in any part of life, especially in writing. This is why the introduction and conclusion of any paper – whether it be a simple essay or a long research paper – are essential. Introductions and conclusions are just as important as the body of your paper. The introduction is what makes the reader want to continue reading your paper. The conclusion is what makes your paper stick in the reader’s mind.

Introductions

Your introductory paragraph should include:

1) Hook:  Description, illustration, narration or dialogue that pulls the reader into your paper topic. This should be interesting and specific.

2) Transition: Sentence that connects the hook with the thesis.

3) Thesis: Sentence (or two) that summarizes the overall main point of the paper. The thesis should answer the prompt question.

The examples below show are several ways to write a good introduction or opening to your paper. One example shows you how to paraphrase in your introduction. This will help you understand the idea of writing sequences using a hook, transition, and thesis statement.

» Thesis Statement Opening

This is the traditional style of opening a paper. This is a “mini-summary” of your paper.

For example:

» Opening with a Story (Anecdote)

A good way of catching your reader’s attention is by sharing a story that sets up your paper. Sharing a story gives a paper a more personal feel and helps make your reader comfortable.

This example was borrowed from Jack Gannon’s The Week the World Heard Gallaudet (1989):

Astrid Goodstein, a Gallaudet faculty member, entered the beauty salon for her regular appointment, proudly wearing her DPN button. (“I was married to that button that week!” she later confided.) When Sandy, her regular hairdresser, saw the button, he spoke and gestured, “Never! Never! Never!” Offended, Astrid turned around and headed for the door but stopped short of leaving. She decided to keep her appointment, confessing later that at that moment, her sense of principles had lost out to her vanity. Later she realized that her hairdresser had thought she was pushing for a deaf U.S. President. Hook: a specific example or story that interests the reader and introduces the topic.

Transition: connects the hook to the thesis statement

Thesis: summarizes the overall claim of the paper

» Specific Detail Opening

Giving specific details about your subject appeals to your reader’s curiosity and helps establish a visual picture of what your paper is about.

» Open with a Quotation

Another method of writing an introduction is to open with a quotation. This method makes your introduction more interactive and more appealing to your reader.

» Open with an Interesting Statistic

Statistics that grab the reader help to make an effective introduction.

» Question Openings

Possibly the easiest opening is one that presents one or more questions to be answered in the paper. This is effective because questions are usually what the reader has in mind when he or she sees your topic.

Source : *Writing an Introduction for a More Formal Essay. (2012). Retrieved April 25, 2012, from http://flightline.highline.edu/wswyt/Writing91/handouts/hook_trans_thesis.htm

Conclusions

The conclusion to any paper is the final impression that can be made. It is the last opportunity to get your point across to the reader and leave the reader feeling as if they learned something. Leaving a paper “dangling” without a proper conclusion can seriously devalue what was said in the body itself. Here are a few effective ways to conclude or close your paper. » Summary Closing Many times conclusions are simple re-statements of the thesis. Many times these conclusions are much like their introductions (see Thesis Statement Opening).

» Close with a Logical Conclusion

This is a good closing for argumentative or opinion papers that present two or more sides of an issue. The conclusion drawn as a result of the research is presented here in the final paragraphs.

» Real or Rhetorical Question Closings

This method of concluding a paper is one step short of giving a logical conclusion. Rather than handing the conclusion over, you can leave the reader with a question that causes him or her to draw his own conclusions.

» Close with a Speculation or Opinion This is a good style for instances when the writer was unable to come up with an answer or a clear decision about whatever it was he or she was researching. For example:

» Close with a Recommendation

A good conclusion is when the writer suggests that the reader do something in the way of support for a cause or a plea for them to take action.

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In an essay, which comes first: the hook or the thesis?

An eighth grader asked me for help writing a school-assigned essay.  Her teacher had given the class a fill-in-the-blanks organizer.  It was incredibly detailed.  In the introduction area was a blank with the word “hook,” and below it another blank with the word “thesis.”  For each of the two body paragraph areas were the words “citation, “explanation,” “citation,” and “explanation.”  At the end was the word “conclusion.”

“I don’t buy it,” I said.

I asked her what she had written first, the hook quotation or the thesis.  “The hook,” she said.

Of course.  This student was making three mistakes that I see over and over in student essays.

First, she did not write the thesis first.  In an essay, the most important sentence is the thesis.  That is the first sentence to write. Every other sentence needs to support the ideas in that thesis sentence.  If you don’t know what ideas are in the thesis, how can you write about them?

Second, she wrote the hook first, thinking (as her teachers may have told her) that the hook is where the essay begins.  The hook is where the reader begins reading an essay.  But it is not where the writer begins writing an essay. A good essay is thought though and written out of order.  The proper sequence in which to write an essay (after you have organized it) is

• Thesis, first;
• body paragraph topic sentences, second;
• detail sentences in the body paragraphs, third. These sentences back up the body paragraph topic sentences which in turn back up the thesis;
• introduction, fourth, including the hook if there is one; and
• conclusion, last.

The third mistake my student made was perhaps the most serious of all:  she didn’t recognize that her chosen hook did not introduce the ideas of her thesis.  She thought that her hook was so clever (and it was) that it didn’t matter if it was related to the ideas of her thesis.  It does matter.

Over and over, I work with students who focus on the structure of an essay rather than the substance of the essay.  Their essays are like Academy Award winning actresses in gorgeous gowns, sparkling jewelry, and splendid coifs whose speeches are either hollow or off-topic.

I asked my student to rewrite her hook.  She did because she wants a good grade, and I’m a teacher, so I probably know what I am advising her.  But I wonder if she understands that her original hook was irrelevant to the main idea of her essay.

Looking for a writing teacher for your child?  Contact me through this website.  I currently teach students in four states and one other country.

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Introductions, thesis statements, and roadmaps - graduate writing center.

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The first paragraph or two of any paper should be constructed with care, creating a path for both the writer and reader to follow. However, it is very common to adjust the introduction more than once over the course of drafting and revising your document. In fact, it is normal (and often very useful, or even essential!) to heavily revise your introduction after you've finished composing the paper, since that is most likely when you have the best grasp on what you've been aiming to say.

The introduction is your opportunity to efficiently establish for your reader the topic and significance of your discussion, the focused argument or claim you’ll make contained in your thesis statement, and a sense of how your presentation of information will proceed.

There are a few things to avoid in crafting good introductions. Steer clear of unnecessary length: you should be able to effectively introduce the critical elements of any project a page or less. Another pitfall to watch out for is providing excessive history or context before clearly stating your own purpose. Finally, don’t lose time stalling because you can't think of a good first line. A funny or dramatic opener for your paper (also known as “a hook”) can be a nice touch, but it is by no means a required element in a good academic paper.

Introductions, Thesis Statements, and Roadmaps Links

• Short video (5:47): " Writing an Introduction to a Paper ," GWC
• Handout (printable):  " Introductions ," University of North Carolina Chapel Hill Writing Center
• Handout (printable): " Thesis Statements ," University of North Carolina Chapel Hill Writing Center
• NPS-specific one-page (printable)  S ample Thesis Chapter Introduction with Roadmap , from "Venezuela: A Revolution on Standby," Luis Calvo
• Short video (3:39):  " Writing Ninjas: How to Write a Strong Thesis Statement "
• Video (5:06): " Thesis Statements ," Purdue OWL

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The Admissions Strategist

How to write the best hook for your essay: the definitive guide.

“Details matter. It’s worth waiting to get it right.” – Steve Jobs, founder of Apple

When you’re writing an essay—whether it’s narrative, descriptive, expository, or persuasive—it’s important to pay attention to details and get it right. That starts with the opening sentence.

From the very beginning of your piece, you need to pull in your reader . You can do this with an essay hook.

• This blog started with what is known as a quotation hook. Read on to learn more about different types of essay hooks, how to use them, the various sources for hooks, and how to make your opening “pop” to keep your readers engaged.

Composing a good essay might seem like a backwards process. First, write the essay or outline, then determine what hook makes the most sense to open your essay.

After that, write a few sentences for your introduction, and then close your first paragraph with a single thesis statement.

What is a hook?

The hook is the opening statement of your essay. This might be a single sentence or a few sentences that grab the reader’s attention from the very beginning.

• Your essay, as a whole, should offer your best work in a well-written, engaging package.
• The hook needs to set the scene early, hitting the reader with information that captures their interest right from the start.

When considering how to compose a hook, think about the content of the essay. The hook is a strong start to your essay, and the rest of the essay should follow suit with clean, clear, and creative writing.

Also, keep in mind who will be reading your essay.

• There are many types of hooks, but which one is right for you and the content you are presenting?
• Will the reader be open to something humorous? Will a famous quote provide a great lead for your essay, and will it create a clear connection?
• If you start with a question, does the reader get the answer by the end of the essay?

The hook is short but significant. Here is an example of a hook for someone writing about homelessness among college students:

“Fourteen percent of four-year college students are homeless, and 48 percent are house insecure, according to the Hope Center for College Community and Justice. Hopefully, I’ll be one of them.”

What’s the difference between a hook and an introduction?

We’ve established that the essay hook is brief but powerful. The hook is not synonymous with the introduction, and should not replace it.

Where the hook is a succinct statement that draws in your reader, the introduction more formerly leads to your topic and purpose.

Creativity is an important component of your introduction, but the introduction more clearly states where you’ll take the reader through the rest of the essay.

Click above to watch a video on how to write a Hook.

This introduction adds to the hook previously mentioned:

“Rising tuition, poor financial aid packages, and too few affordable housing options have dramatically increased the percentage of homeless or house insecure college students in recent years. Students who work hard and want the opportunity to attend college are unable to afford shelter and food, often causing them to withdraw from school.”

By opening with the statistic hook and the follow-up statement, we know this student is homeless and plans to attend college. The hook grabs the reader’s attention.

In the next few sentences, the introduction provides the direction for the rest of the essay. There are several factors that lead to homelessness and home-insecurity among college students. These factors will be explored in the essay.

What’s the difference between a hook and a thesis statement?

A thesis statement, typically situated at the end of the essay’s first paragraph, clearly states and summarizes the argument you are presenting on your essay topic. This will drive the rest of your paper.

Given the example above, here is a thesis statement to follow the hook and introduction:

“This needs to stop now. Our government must provide more realistic options and resources for motivated students to improve their situations with a college education.”

This thesis provides the writer’s point of view on the topic, and further sheds light on the angle of the essay.

How can I brainstorm a great hook?

When you compose your essay outline or complete the essay, you’ll have a better feel for what type of hook works best for your opening.

There are plenty of ideas to choose from. Here are some of our favorites:

• Anecdote — Tell the reader a short, memorable story. An anecdote should be a brief, true story about a person or event. This can be tricky to accomplish in a few short sentences, but if the story is succinct and impactful, it will create the perfect stage for the rest of your essay.
• Quotation — Often, a quotation hook is from a famous source, for example, a president, social activist, philosopher, actor, etc. This blog opened with a quote from Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple. If you choose a quotation hook, be sure to state and attribute the quote accurately. Also, make sure that it relates to your topic and provides a smooth transition into your essay.
• Question — If you choose to write a question hook, be sure that it does not lead to a yes or no answer. The question should set up the start of your essay, and should only be answered by the reader when they finish your essay. People are inquisitive, so if you provide a thought-provoking question at the start of your essay, it will catch their attention.
• Statistics — The right statistics are impressive, effective, and staggering. Choose statistics that showcase your knowledge, back up your essay theme, or are relatable to your reader. Make sure you check your sources and attribute the statistics for accuracy.
• Declarative statement — The declarative statement opens your essay with a strong statement that provides your view about a topic up front, and follows with your reasoning in the rest of the essay. While the reader does not need to agree with your statement, they should gain an understanding of why you feel the way you do by reading the essay.

What are sources for great hooks?

Now that you’ve determined what type of hook you want to use, it’s time to find the right information.

If you’re considering opening with an anecdote , first think about what incredible personal stories you have tucked away that might provide a compelling start to your essay.

• An anecdote is a true story about a person or event that works best in a nonfiction or informal essay.
• Other anecdotes might come from recent stories you’ve read in newspapers or magazines.
• Think about what you’re trying to say with your short story. Are you trying to be humorous, prove a point, or set the tone? Is this a personal story, or someone’s else’s experience? How can you tell it quickly and effectively?

Oftentimes, a well-chosen quote will perfectly convey the point you want to get across at the very start. Use that quote to your advantage!

• You might find a captivating quote in popular literature, historical documents, or current events. The Internet has made it extremely easy to search for quotes that apply to your essay topic.
• Determine what key word you want to search. For example, consider quotes about evolution, and then sift through collections of famous quotes that introduce your essay in an amazing way. Always check for accuracy!

When using a question hook , think about a way to present your question in an intriguing and thought-provoking way.

• As previously stated, choose a question that is not a “yes” or “no” answer, but makes the reader stop and think about the topic you are presenting.

There are great sources to search for statistics .

• Current news stories , magazines, blogs, investigative journalism, websites for established organizations, etc., provide compelling and accurate statistics that create a strong start to your essay and support your thesis.
• Our previous example on homeless and home-insecure college students came from a recent USA Today For most readers, the percentage of homeless students is likely shocking. The statistics also transition perfectly into the introduction and thesis of that essay.

A declarative statement is a great hook to use in a persuasive essay.

• Carefully think about your position on your topic and how you want to present that in your essay. This is similar to a thesis statement because you are taking a strong position on your topic.
• Your statement should be clear and succinct, and the rest of your essay should support that statement.

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How do i choose the right hook for my essay.

Choosing the best hook for your essay depends on the type of essay you are writing and the tone your essay will take.

There are dozens of different types of essays. We mentioned four of the most common essays at the start of the blog—narrative, descriptive, critical, and persuasive.

A narrative essay tells a true story in the first person. Because you are telling a story, an anecdote works well as your essay hook.

• This opening gives you an opportunity to start the essay with a compelling, short personal story that leads into your full essay. A question hook also is a good choice for a narrative essay.
• You can set up the scene of your essay with a question that makes the reader stop and think, for example, “How would you react if you met your mother for the first time on a six-hour plane ride when you were thirteen years old?”

A descriptive essay works to help the reader visualize something through descriptive writing. Depending on the scene you are trying to set, or the tone of your essay, almost any hook can work.

An anecdote can quickly develop a setting, and a well-developed question will provoke the reader to stop and think. A great quote can frame your essay through someone else’s famous words, and strong statistics will provide an interesting or shocking statement that you can build from in your essay.

A critical or expository essay is an informative look at your topic. This essay relies on facts and analytics, so a statistical hook is a perfect opening.

Look at the information available on your topic, and choose the most interesting, unusual, shocking, or effective statistic to set up your essay. Always check for accuracy!

Many hooks also work well for persuasive essays , which work to build up the reasons the reader should take your position on the topic presented.

• The right anecdote , quote , question , statistic , or declarative statement can be used to set up your argument or point of view in the essay.
• Remember the argument or point you are making, and be sure that the hook you choose to use clearly makes that point.

This should provide a smooth transition into the body of your persuasive essay.

What are tips for writing a great hook?

You want to develop a strong start for your essay. To write the best hook, keep these tips in mind:

• Know the goal of your essay.
• Know your audience.
• Create an outline of your essay to make sure everything flows.
• Think about stories that draw your attention and how the writer is able to do it.
• Set the scene for your essay.
• Set the tone of your essay.
• Determine what structure you want to establish.
• Check your facts, statistics, and quotes for accuracy.
• Write your essay hook last.

How do I make a great hook for a college essay?

The top colleges and universities have become more selective than ever as acceptance rates continue to break records in recent years. What does this mean for you?

It means it’s important to stand ou t.

Your test scores, achievements, recommendations, and volunteer work are certainly important. But, where college admissions teams will truly see your personality and drive is in your college essay . And, even then, your essay has to make an impact from the start.

• As admissions counselors sift through thousands of college essays , they often can tell from the first few sentences if they like what you have to offer or not.
• So, it’s more important than ever to land the hook in your college essay.

This is your chance to illustrate to colleges what you’re all about, and to show off your writing skills. Colleges and universities want to know you and what motivates you in your college essay.

It’s important to avoid formality and focus on creativity.

• While your hook and introduction should still provide a clear direction and theme for your essay, you should write them in your own unique way, emphasizing your writing style.

Save the formality for classroom writing, and spend your time developing a hook and introduction that makes your essay sing your unique song.

The hook for your college essay should be personal and creative to show the college of your choice what makes you stand out from the crowd.

What are examples of great hooks?

Developing a great hook for your essay is as unique and creative as the writer and essay topic . Here are some examples of great hooks:

Using an anecdote hook:

This is a short, personal story that introduces the writer’s experience in the Paralympics.

“At five years old, I lost my ability to walk after a freak accident attempting to ride my bike. You would think I’d never want to get on a bike again. But meeting the right person who helped me develop the right mindset led me to win a cycling event in the Paralympics.”

Using a quotation hook:

These are two very different quotes that could introduce an essay on evolution, depending on your thesis:

“Evolution is a theory, and it’s a theory that you can test. We’ve tested evolution in many ways. You can’t present good evidence that says evolution is not a fact.” Bill Nye the Science Guy “I’m all about evolution. I’m the first person to judge myself.” The Weeknd, singer/songwriter

Using a question hook:

Think about a question that can present your topic in a new light. If you’re writing an essay on the Civil War, for example, you could start with:

“What would our country look like today if the South won?”

That is certainly an interesting question to ponder, and it will grab the interest of your reader as they try to determine where the remainder of your essay will go.

Rhetorical questions also work well as an opening to an essay. Rhetorical questions can have obvious answers, or no clear answer. For example:

“Do you want to be successful?” (Rhetorical question with an obvious answer) “What is the meaning of life?” (Rhetorical question with no unanimous answer)

Both of these examples should pull the reader in by piquing their curiosity.

Using a statistic hook:

If you are writing an expository or persuasive essay on opioid use, many government sites or news articles provide excellent quotes:

“In 2017, more than 47,000 Americans died as a result of opioid use, according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse. “In Pennsylvania alone, 29,610 doses of Naloxone were administered by EMS from January 2018 to December 2019.”

Conclusion: How to write an awesome hook

Now that we’ve covered the types of essay hooks, how to write them, where to look for sources, and tips to make your hook shine, it’s time to get writing!

Remember, you have lots of options to choose from. Be sure to check up on different sources before deciding on an interesting hook.

If you have any questions, let us know!

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Part Two Paragraph Writing Skills and Essay Introduction

Unit 6 Essay Introduction

Learning Objectives

• To learn what an essay is
• To understand the similarities and differences between a paragraph and an essay
• To learn through writing samples how to transition from writing a paragraph to writing an essay
• To understand how the components of an essay relate to each other: hook, thesis statement, introductory paragraph, supporting paragraphs, and concluding paragraph
• To practice writing a five-paragraph essay

Read the following paragraph and essay. Discuss the questions that follow.

Places in Making American Friends

          There are three places to make friends in the United States. The first place is in the neighborhood. When I visited the U.S. as a child ten years ago, I met an American girl whose house was near mine. We were shy in the beginning but soon started riding our bikes in the neighborhood. We chased [1] each other and had a good time. A few months later, her family moved to another state. I have fond [2] memories of her and think that we will be able to reconnect and renew our friendship if we meet again. Secondly, going to an American school provides an opportunity to make friends. I attended an American elementary school for about six months. I was very nervous about being the only one who looked different. However, some classmates and teachers were kind enough to approach me. They were very understanding even though I did not always understand them. Some of them even helped me with school work and in the gym class. As a young girl in a foreign country, I was very grateful for their friendship. Now I am in America again. I need and value friendship as much as when I was a child. I go to a church once a week and attend a Bible study class where I meet many young adults. There, I have made some friends with whom I talk about not only God but also different cultures. For example, some of them are interested in Japanese music and Anime, so I share some of my favorite music and Anime with them. Sometimes I teach Japanese to them, and they teach English to me. Exchanging information with each other is a good way of establishing and strengthening [3] the relationship. I have learned from my experiences in the neighborhood, school, and church in America over the years that with an open and sincere heart, I am able to find good friends.

By M. Ohbayashi (student), ESL Writing III, Harper College. U sed with permission.

        When I was a child, I had an opportunity to come to the United States a few times to visit my grandmother, uncle, and aunt, who were living in the U.S. Many years later, in January 2020, my mother and I were able to immigrate here. Since I was not an outgoing type of person, I had just a few friends in Japan. However, I have met a lot of Americans and have been able to make friends with some of them. The three places to make friends in the U.S. for me are my neighborhood, school, and church.

        The first place is in the neighborhood. When I visited the U.S. as a child ten years ago, I met an American girl whose house was near mine. We were shy in the beginning but soon started riding our bikes in the neighborhood. We chased each other and had a good time. I also went to the pool with my grandmother and her family in summer. Although the pool was deep and I was scared, she and her family helped me enjoy swimming without fear. Besides riding bikes and swimming, we both loved dogs. We each had one. Even the dogs became friends as we played with them with balls. A few months later, her family moved to another state. I have fond memories of her and think that we will be able to reconnect and renew our friendship if we meet again.

        Secondly, going to an American school provides an opportunity to make friends. I attended an American elementary school for about six months. I was very nervous about being the only one who looked different. I also did not know how to behave differently in an American school. However, some classmates and teachers were kind enough to approach me. They spoke slowly and patiently with simple English words. They were very understanding even though I did not always understand them. Some of them even helped me with school work and in the gym class. As a young girl in a foreign country, I was very grateful for their friendship. Thanks to them, school became wonderful to me.

       Now I am in America again. I need and value friendship as much as when I was a child. I go to a church once a week. One day I met a girl who was studying Japanese. We began to talk with each other. She invited me to a Bible study class, and there I met many young adults. In the beginning, I felt nervous and shy just like the time when I attended the American elementary school for the first time many years before. However, as time went by, I started to like the Bible study class and made some friends with whom I talk about not only God but also different cultures. For example, some of them are interested in Japanese music and Anime, so I share some of my favorite music and Anime with them. Sometimes I teach Japanese to them, and they teach English to me. Exchanging information with each other is a good way of establishing and strengthening the relationship.

        Fortunately, I have met many kind Americans who have become my good friends. Though my shyness sometimes stands in the way, I have been trying hard to overcome it by initiating conversations with as many people as possible. I have learned that with an open and sincere heart, I am able to find good friends.

By M. Ohbayashi (student), Writing III, Harper College. U sed with permission.

Discussion Questions:

• How do you make American friends? Do you share some of the experiences the writer has described?
• What is the main idea in the paragraph? What is the main idea in the essay?
• How many paragraphs does the essay have?
• What are the three places of making American friends in the paragraph? Are the same three places explained in the essay?
• What does the essay have that the paragraph does not? Do the extra details make the essay better supported and more interesting?
• From the above two pieces of writing, what have you discovered about the similarities and differences between a paragraph and an essay?
• If you could ask the writer one question, what would you ask?

You have learned and practiced how to write well-organized, well-developed paragraphs. Now it is time to expand your writing expertise [4] to essays!

II. Similarities and Differences Between a Paragraph and an Essay

In Unit 3 Parts and Characteristics of a Good Paragraph, you learned that a paragraph is a group of sentences about one main idea . ( Open Unit 3 here . )

In this unit, you will learn that an essay is a group of paragraphs about one main idea . An essay can be as short as three paragraphs but as long as many paragraphs that span [5] multiple pages.

Here is a summary of similarities and differences between a paragraph and an essay:

III. Essay Organization

Essay assignments are very common in college courses. In this course, you are going to learn only the basic concepts and organization of essays that contain five paragraphs. There are other ways of writing built on this basic model, and you will learn them in future semesters.

As you already have much experience writing paragraphs, a good start with essays is to expand [6] an existing paragraph, as you have seen in the beginning of this unit. Below is a structural comparison between a paragraph and an essay.

Read the following paragraph and then the essay. Compare the two by answering the questions that follow.

My Joy in Baking

        Baking is my favorite hobby.  When I was a child, I like d sweets a lot, especially pastry.  Since my mom could not bake, I always went to my friend Natalia’s house to learn baking because her mom was excellent in it. Though t he learning process was not that easy , I enjoyed it . I tried and ruined [7] a lot of ingredients, but I did not lose hope. Then I started to get better and better. I tried cupcakes and cookies. It gave me confidence and excitement to think that I could bake for myself.  Now I am an adult with a family of my own, and this hobby has not changed. It relaxes me to bak e. When I have a n exhausting day or feel stressed out, the idea of crea ting something sweet and fresh makes me feel relaxed . I also like to share the fruit [8] of my hobby with my family and friends.  Baking for them gives me joy.  To have a happy moment together on any occasion [9] with sweet treats makes my relationship with them stronger. These are all the reasons why baking is my favorite hobby. I would recommend it to anyone who loves sweets and is looking for ways to bring happiness to other people.

By N . Mamurova (student),  ESL Writing III, Harper College. Used with permission.

        A hobby is a regular activity performed for enjoyment during spare time. People can choose any hobbies that are right for them: music, sports, cooking, sewing, gardenin g , and so on.  As a child, I like d sweets a lot, especially pastry.  This is why  baking became and has always been my favorite hobby.

        Though the learning process was not easy, I enjoyed it . Since my mom could not bake, I always went to my friend Natalia’s house to learn baking because her mom was excellent in it. I tried and ruined a lot of ingredients, but I did not lose hope. After a few months, I started to get better and better.  On Natalia’ s 10 th  birthday, I made pretty cupcakes, even with yellow and pink icings on them.  Her mom was very impressed.  It gave me confidence and excitement to think that I could bake by myself and bring more happiness to an already joyful event.  

        Now I am an adult with a family of my own, and this hobby has not changed. It relaxes me to bake. When I have an exhausting day or I am stressed out, the idea of creating something sweet and fresh makes me feel relaxed. Being a mom and a student, my schedule is full.  However, nothing else relieves my stress more than baking after a difficult examination at the college: the aroma of butter and sugar, the slowly forming cookies in the oven, and the pleasant and crunching sound as I bite into my creations – all eases the tension of my whole being.

        Most importantly, sharing my baking has strengthened my relationship with my family and friends. Enjoying a happy moment together on any occasion with sweet treats gives me joy. Once a friend of mine was sick, but she immediately got much better when I brought her a home-baked, mouth-watering apple pie. I have learned that helping others does not have to be a huge endeavor [10] . Small acts of kindness are just as valuable and meaningful.

        A hobby takes time to perfect but brings joy in the process. I am so glad that I have found my pleasure in baking, and I intend to enjoy it for many more years to come. I would recommend it to anyone who loves sweets and is looking for ways to bring happiness to other people.

By N . Mamurova (student), ESL Writing III, Harper College. Used with permission.

IV. Hook, Thesis Statement, Introductory Paragraph

The word “hook” may remind you of a piece of plastic or metal on the wall on which you can hang your coat. The hook holds the coat and prevents it from falling to the floor. In the same way, a hook in the beginning of an essay aims to hold the readers’ attention so that they keep reading. The main purpose of a hook is to introduce the topic and to get the readers interested.

There are different ways to write a hook. The most common ones are introducing the background or discussing some general information related to the topic.

Discuss the hook in the essays “Places in Making American Friends” and “My Joy in Baking”.  Does it introduce the topic and get you interested in reading the essay?

Thesis Statement

The thesis statement is a sentence that contains the main idea of the entire essay.

• A topic sentence shows the main idea of a paragraph. It is usually put in the beginning of a paragraph.
• A thesis statement shows the main idea of an essay. It is usually placed as the last sentence in the introductory paragraph.

The rules for the topic sentence also apply to the thesis statement.

Exercise 1. Use the expressions below to develop thesis statements.

surprises / U.S.

Thesis statement: I encountered some surprises in my first few weeks of living in the U.S.

1. children / parents’ influence

2. marriage / fights

3. dream job / hard work

4. self-discipline / success

5. bilingual / benefits

6. money / problems

7. government / assisting college students

8. personality / happiness

Exercise 2. Study the introductory paragraph in “Places in Making American Friends” and “My Joy in Baking”. Then choose two of the thesis statements from Exercise 1 to write two introductory paragraphs.

V. Transitions, Supporting paragraphs, and Concluding Paragraph

The principles for the transitions, supporting ideas, and conclusion in a paragraph also apply to an essay. In an essay, there are more supporting details than in a paragraph.

Study and discuss the following outline developed from the example thesis statement in Exercise 1.

Exercise 3. Use the above outline as an example. From the two topics you worked on in Exercise 1 and Exercise 2,  write an essay outline for each.

VI. More Essay Examples

Read the two essays below. The first one is developed from an earlier outline. As you read, discuss the questions:

• What is the hook? Is it interesting?
• What is the thesis statement? Where is it located?
• In each body paragraph, what is the topic sentence? What are the details?
• What transition does the writer use in the beginning of each body paragraph?
• Is the paragraph mainly enumerative or narrative in organization? How do you know? In what order are the supporting paragraphs organized (order of importance or chronological order)?
• Does all the information in the body paragraphs support the thesis statement?
• What types of information does the writer use in the conclusion?
• What do you like about this essay?
• How would you improve the essay?

VII. Unit Review Practice: An Essay Writing Assignment

Now you are ready to write your own essay! As you have learned in Unit 2 The Writing Process ( Open Unit 2 here ), the best way to plan a paragraph is to follow the proper steps.

An Essay Writing Assignment

Purpose : To show your understanding of planning and writing an essay. Use the writing process to help you.

Topic :   You have three choices from below.

Brainstorm and Outline : Brainstorm for ideas. Then organize the ideas by using the outline template below to make an outline. Your outline is due on _________. Bring it to class.

Essay : Your essay should have a title, an introductory paragraph with a hook and a thesis statement, 3 supporting paragraphs each starting with a topic sentence followed by lots of details, and a concluding  paragraph. Use appropriate transitions to connect the supporting paragraphs.  There should be a total of 5 paragraphs in the essay.

Format : Type your essay, double spaced, font size 12, with 1-inch margins on four sides of the page. Type your name, class, and date on the upper right-hand corner of the page. The first line of each paragraph should be indented. Save your essay in a Word file.

Self Checklist : When you finish writing, use the Self Checklist below. Put a checkmark beside each item if you think you did a good job in that area.  Otherwise, improve your essay until you can check off the item. Save your work again.

Submission : Submit your essay on the Blackboard.  Go to your Blackboard course site and follow the instructions there.  Due by __________.

You have three choices for your topic.

Choice 1:  

Choose one of the paragraphs you have written in this course and expand it into an essay.

Choose one of the thesis statements, introductory paragraphs, and outlines in Exercise 1, 2, and 3 in this unit. Then write an essay based on your outline.

Choose one of the following new topics.  If you plan to have a different one, please talk with your professor first.

• What are the three things that you want to change about Harper College?
• What are the three things (or events, or people) you wish to forget?
• What are the three most important ways people in your country express love?
• What has been the most memorable day in your life?
• How did you overcome a challenge in your life?

Essay Outline Template

Essay Self Checklist

Note:  #6 – #8  may include more specific aspects of grammar depending on how many editing units you have already studied.

  NSNT Practice

Go to The NSNT Free Writing Approach and Additional Weekly Prompts for Writing in Appendix A. ( Open Appendix A here. ) Choose two topics that you have not written about. You may start with the NSNT approach. Then revise and edit at least one of them into an essay. You are encouraged to share your writing with your partner and help each other improve. 

Vocabulary Review

The words here have appeared in this unit.  The best way to learn them is to guess the meaning of each word from the context.  Then hover your computer mouse over the number beside each word to check its meaning and part of speech. These words are also listed in the footnote area at the end of each unit.

Here, you can use the flashcards below to review these words.

• An essay is a group of paragraphs about one main idea. It consists of a title, an introductory paragraph with a hook and a thesis statement, a few supporting paragraphs, and a concluding paragraph.
• A hook consists of a few sentences to introduce the topic and to get readers interested in the essay.
• A thesis statement is a sentence containing the main idea of the entire essay. It is usually placed at the end of the introductory paragraph.
• Transitions are used to provide connections between supporting paragraphs.
• Paragraphs and essays share some common features. They both focus on one central idea which is explained and developed through supporting ideas and details.

Media Attributions

• people pressing hands together © Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash
• comparing paragraph and essay structures © Lin Cui is licensed under a CC0 (Creative Commons Zero) license
• 5 cupcakes with sprinkles © Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash
• a pen writing in a notebook © Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash
• a page in a dictionary © Pixabay
• chase: verb, run in order to catch someone ↵
• fond: adjective, good, loving ↵
• strengthen: verb, make or become strong ↵
• expertise: noun, expert knowledge and skills ↵
• span: verb, cover, extend to ↵
• expand: verb, make bigger or longer ↵
• ruin: verb, destroy, waste ↵
• fruit: noun, products, results ↵
• occasion: noun, situation ↵
• endeavor: noun, many efforts, hard work ↵

Building Academic Writing Skills Copyright © 2022 by Cui, Lin is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

Thesis vs. Topic Sentence

What's the difference.

A thesis statement and a topic sentence are both essential components of academic writing, but they serve different purposes. A thesis statement is a concise and arguable claim that presents the main idea or argument of an essay or research paper. It provides a roadmap for the entire piece of writing and guides the reader on what to expect. On the other hand, a topic sentence is a statement that introduces the main idea of a paragraph. It acts as a mini-thesis within the larger context of the thesis statement, focusing on a specific aspect or supporting point. While a thesis statement is typically found at the end of an introduction, a topic sentence is usually the first sentence of a paragraph.

Further Detail

Introduction.

When it comes to academic writing, two essential components that play a crucial role in structuring an essay or research paper are the thesis statement and the topic sentence. Both the thesis statement and the topic sentence serve as guiding principles for the entire piece of writing, providing a clear focus and direction. While they share similarities in their purpose, they also have distinct attributes that set them apart. In this article, we will explore the characteristics of both the thesis statement and the topic sentence, highlighting their importance and differences.

Thesis Statement

A thesis statement is a concise and declarative sentence that presents the main argument or claim of an essay or research paper. It is typically found in the introductory paragraph and sets the tone for the entire piece of writing. The thesis statement is often considered the backbone of the paper, as it provides a roadmap for the reader and guides the writer's thought process.

One of the key attributes of a thesis statement is its specificity. It should clearly state the main point or argument of the paper, leaving no room for ambiguity. A well-crafted thesis statement is focused and precise, allowing the reader to understand the writer's stance on the topic from the very beginning.

Furthermore, a thesis statement should be arguable. It should present a claim that can be supported or refuted through evidence and logical reasoning. This attribute distinguishes a thesis statement from a mere statement of fact. By presenting an arguable claim, the writer invites the reader to engage with the topic and consider different perspectives.

In addition, a thesis statement should be concise and to the point. It should capture the essence of the writer's argument without unnecessary elaboration. This brevity ensures that the thesis statement remains clear and impactful, avoiding confusion or ambiguity.

Lastly, a thesis statement should be placed at the end of the introductory paragraph. This positioning allows it to serve as a transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs, providing a smooth flow of ideas and setting the stage for the subsequent discussion.

Topic Sentence

Similar to a thesis statement, a topic sentence plays a vital role in structuring a paragraph within an essay or research paper. While a thesis statement encompasses the entire paper, a topic sentence focuses on a specific paragraph or section. It serves as a mini-thesis, summarizing the main idea of the paragraph and connecting it to the overall argument.

One of the primary attributes of a topic sentence is its clarity. It should clearly state the main point of the paragraph, allowing the reader to understand its purpose and relevance. A well-crafted topic sentence provides a concise preview of the information that will be discussed in the paragraph, guiding the reader through the writer's thought process.

Furthermore, a topic sentence should be unified. It should address only one main idea or argument, avoiding the inclusion of unrelated or extraneous information. This attribute ensures that the paragraph remains focused and coherent, enhancing the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing.

In addition, a topic sentence should be placed at the beginning of the paragraph. This positioning allows it to serve as a clear transition from the previous paragraph and provides a logical flow of ideas throughout the essay or research paper. By starting with a strong topic sentence, the writer sets the stage for the subsequent discussion and helps the reader navigate through the content smoothly.

Lastly, a topic sentence should be supported by evidence and examples. It should not only present the main idea but also provide sufficient information to validate or illustrate the point being made. By including supporting details, the writer strengthens the argument and enhances the overall persuasiveness of the paragraph.

In conclusion, both the thesis statement and the topic sentence are essential components of academic writing that provide structure and coherence to essays and research papers. While the thesis statement encompasses the entire paper and presents the main argument, the topic sentence focuses on individual paragraphs and summarizes their main ideas. Both the thesis statement and the topic sentence should be clear, specific, and supported by evidence. The thesis statement is placed in the introductory paragraph, while the topic sentence starts each paragraph. By understanding the attributes of both the thesis statement and the topic sentence, writers can effectively convey their ideas and engage readers in their writing.

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Writing Center

Effective introductions and thesis statements, make them want to continue reading.

Writing an effective introduction is an art form. The introduction is the first thing that your reader sees. It is what invests the reader in your paper, and it should make them want to continue reading. You want to be creative and unique early on in your introduction; here are some strategies to help catch your reader’s attention:

• Tell a brief anecdote or story
• As a series of short rhetorical questions
• Use a powerful quotation
• Refute a common belief
• Cite a dramatic fact or statistic

Your introduction also needs to adequately explain the topic and organization of your paper.

Your  thesis statement  identifies the purpose of your paper. It also helps focus the reader on your central point. An effective thesis establishes a tone and a point of view for a given purpose and audience. Here are some important things to consider when constructing your thesis statement.

• Don’t just make a factual statement – your thesis is your educated opinion on a topic.
• Don’t write a highly opinionated statement that might offend your audience.
• Don’t simply make an announcement (ex. “Tuition should be lowered” is a much better thesis than “My essay will discuss if tuition should be lowered”).
• Don’t write a thesis that is too broad – be specific.

The thesis is often located in the middle or at the end of the introduction, but considerations about audience, purpose, and tone should always guide your decision about its placement.

Sometimes it’s helpful to wait to write the introduction until after you’ve written the essay’s body because, again, you want this to be one of the strongest parts of the paper.

Example of an introduction:

Innocent people murdered because of the hysteria of young girls! Many people believe that the young girls who accused citizens of Salem, Massachusetts of taking part in witchcraft were simply acting to punish their enemies. But recent evidence shows that the young girls may have been poisoned by a fungus called Ergot, which affects rye and wheat. The general public needs to learn about this possible cause for the hysteria that occurred in Salem so that society can better understand what happened in the past, how this event may change present opinion, and how the future might be changed by learning this new information.

By Rachel McCoppin, Ph.D. Last edited October 2016 by Allison Haas, M.A.

English with Ms. Daniel

Twain High School

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Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Thesis vs. hook.

• The hook is always the part that grabs our attention. It's at the very beginning of the piece and tells a story that gets us thinking, "Hmm, tell me more."
• A thesis is the part that says, "Here is exactly what I'm going to write about. You can expect to know more about these exact ideas by the end of this piece." 

• The rest of the time is yours to actually write
• Remember, your letter is to a specific audience. Do not lose sight of that.
• Use your thesis planning document from yesterday to help you write. 
• You can also use the document in Google Classroom if you prefer to jump right online. 

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• How to Write a Thesis Statement | 4 Steps & Examples

How to Write a Thesis Statement | 4 Steps & Examples

Published on January 11, 2019 by Shona McCombes . Revised on August 15, 2023 by Eoghan Ryan.

A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . It usually comes near the end of your introduction .

Your thesis will look a bit different depending on the type of essay you’re writing. But the thesis statement should always clearly state the main idea you want to get across. Everything else in your essay should relate back to this idea.

You can write your thesis statement by following four simple steps:

• Start with a question
• Write your initial answer
• Develop your answer
• Refine your thesis statement

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Table of contents

What is a thesis statement, placement of the thesis statement, step 1: start with a question, step 2: write your initial answer, step 3: develop your answer, step 4: refine your thesis statement, types of thesis statements, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about thesis statements.

A thesis statement summarizes the central points of your essay. It is a signpost telling the reader what the essay will argue and why.

The best thesis statements are:

• Concise: A good thesis statement is short and sweet—don’t use more words than necessary. State your point clearly and directly in one or two sentences.
• Contentious: Your thesis shouldn’t be a simple statement of fact that everyone already knows. A good thesis statement is a claim that requires further evidence or analysis to back it up.
• Coherent: Everything mentioned in your thesis statement must be supported and explained in the rest of your paper.

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The thesis statement generally appears at the end of your essay introduction or research paper introduction .

The spread of the internet has had a world-changing effect, not least on the world of education. The use of the internet in academic contexts and among young people more generally is hotly debated. For many who did not grow up with this technology, its effects seem alarming and potentially harmful. This concern, while understandable, is misguided. The negatives of internet use are outweighed by its many benefits for education: the internet facilitates easier access to information, exposure to different perspectives, and a flexible learning environment for both students and teachers.

You should come up with an initial thesis, sometimes called a working thesis , early in the writing process . As soon as you’ve decided on your essay topic , you need to work out what you want to say about it—a clear thesis will give your essay direction and structure.

You might already have a question in your assignment, but if not, try to come up with your own. What would you like to find out or decide about your topic?

For example, you might ask:

After some initial research, you can formulate a tentative answer to this question. At this stage it can be simple, and it should guide the research process and writing process .

Now you need to consider why this is your answer and how you will convince your reader to agree with you. As you read more about your topic and begin writing, your answer should get more detailed.

In your essay about the internet and education, the thesis states your position and sketches out the key arguments you’ll use to support it.

The negatives of internet use are outweighed by its many benefits for education because it facilitates easier access to information.

In your essay about braille, the thesis statement summarizes the key historical development that you’ll explain.

The invention of braille in the 19th century transformed the lives of blind people, allowing them to participate more actively in public life.

A strong thesis statement should tell the reader:

• Why you hold this position
• What they’ll learn from your essay
• The key points of your argument or narrative

The final thesis statement doesn’t just state your position, but summarizes your overall argument or the entire topic you’re going to explain. To strengthen a weak thesis statement, it can help to consider the broader context of your topic.

These examples are more specific and show that you’ll explore your topic in depth.

Your thesis statement should match the goals of your essay, which vary depending on the type of essay you’re writing:

• In an argumentative essay , your thesis statement should take a strong position. Your aim in the essay is to convince your reader of this thesis based on evidence and logical reasoning.
• In an expository essay , you’ll aim to explain the facts of a topic or process. Your thesis statement doesn’t have to include a strong opinion in this case, but it should clearly state the central point you want to make, and mention the key elements you’ll explain.

If you want to know more about AI tools , college essays , or fallacies make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples or go directly to our tools!

• Ad hominem fallacy
• Post hoc fallacy
• Appeal to authority fallacy
• False cause fallacy
• Sunk cost fallacy

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A thesis statement is a sentence that sums up the central point of your paper or essay . Everything else you write should relate to this key idea.

The thesis statement is essential in any academic essay or research paper for two main reasons:

• It gives your writing direction and focus.
• It gives the reader a concise summary of your main point.

Without a clear thesis statement, an essay can end up rambling and unfocused, leaving your reader unsure of exactly what you want to say.

Follow these four steps to come up with a thesis statement :

• Ask a question about your topic .
• Write your initial answer.
• Develop your answer by including reasons.
• Refine your answer, adding more detail and nuance.

The thesis statement should be placed at the end of your essay introduction .

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WRITING TIPS

Writing the introductory paragraph

By PresenterMedia.com

• Uses a Lead/hook
• Presents the Thesis
• Communicates the organizational structure
• OPENING PARAGRAPHS…

Why are they important???

• First impressions are lasting impressions!
• If your introduction is poor, your readers may stop there, or continue on with the wrong assumptions about your essay.
• If it’s good, even captivating, your readers will continue enthusiastically.

Four points it must accomplish…

• Grab your reader's ’ attention and interest
• Identify the specific topic of the essay
• Conceptualize your discussion (put into words what your topic is)
• Explain how your paper is organized and structured

THE HOOK SENTENCE - A writer may begin with…

• an anecdote or scenario
• a quotation
• a brief history/overview
• an interesting fact
• a description
• taking a stand
• a contrasting situation

THE LEAD OR HOOK SENTENCE

A literary quote

Such a hook for essay�may be perfect when you write about some particular author, story, literary�phenomenon, book, etc. Even if your essay is not fictional in nature, a�literary quote will make it sound more “alive” and “fresh” .

“So we beat on, boats�against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.” These words of Nick�Carraway perfectly describe…”

“Not all those who�wander are lost.” And yes, indeed, every person is so…”

“When we love, we always�strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we�are, everything around us becomes better too.” Agree or not, but these words�from The Alchemist determine…”

Quotes of famous people

A person whom everybody knows may be more authoritative and influential than others; that is why writing a quote from his/her speech can be a really good essay hook.

“John Wooden once said, ‘Never mistake activity for achievement.'”

“Learn to laugh” is something my kindergarten teacher told me after Ralph Thorsen spilled paint on my daffodil picture.

Anecdote (for informal essays)

Do not be afraid of spoiling your essay with such an unusual hook. Even if you start writing with some humorous hook, it does not mean your essay will become a funny absurd at once. Some humor can help you grab readers’ attention and awake their interest to the topic.

“As my cousin and I pedaled our new bikes to the beach, 6 years old, suntanned and young, we met an old, shaggy-haired man weaving unsteadily on a battered old bike.”

“When I was a young boy, my father worked at a coal mine. For 27 years, he made it his occupation to scrape and claw and grunt his way into the bowels of the earth, searching for fuel. On April 19, 2004, the bowels of the earth clawed back.”

But remember, that in most cases it is not allowed to use the first person in essays, that is why check everything twice before using “I” in your paper.

Some fact or definition

Such types of hooks for essays serve to surprise your reader. Give the interesting fact about something you are going to describe and discuss in your essay’s body, and you will grab the attention of your audience at once.

“Spain, though hardly a literary juggernaut, translates more books in one year than the entire Arab world has in the past one thousand years.”

“Amiable is the best way to describe Elizabeth’s personality: she was friendly and caring.”

It’s not the worst essay hooks idea as well. By giving some proven facts at the very beginning of you paper, you will interest your readers and make them want to read more details about the fact provided.

“The average iceberg weighs over 100,000 metric tons.”

“70% of all jobs found today were got through different networking strategies”

In thesis statements, you should avoid using

statements like, “This essay will discuss…” or

“I’m going to write about…” Try to write a

thesis statement that captures your reader’s

attention without announcing your main topic

and stating the obvious. Look at the examples

In the next slide.

Key Features

Don’t State the Obvious

Identify the specific topic …

• Give your reader a statement that identifies your topic without announcing it without such phrases…
• “My paper is about…”
• “I’m going to tell you about…”
• “Let me tell you what I think…”

In this essay, I am going to discuss the effects of long-term drug abuse.

Long-term drug use can have disastrous effects on one’s marriage, career, and health.

Write a clear thesis statement

• A thesis statement is a concise (brief, not wordy) sentence or two that states what the essay is about
• gives direction to the essay
• usually placed at the end of the introductory paragraph

Explain how your paper is organized

• This sentence may be part of the thesis or a separate sentence after the thesis.
• Tell the reader how you are going to talk about your topic
• Indicate the sections of your essay and something about the order in which they will be discussed

The Thesis Statement

A Road Map for Your Essay

Introduction

Thesis Statement

Body Paragraph #1

Body Paragraph #2

Body Paragraph #3

After you have brainstormed and you have some main

ideas of what you would like to write in your essay, you can

begin thinking about writing a thesis statement .

Thesis Statements

What’s a thesis statement ????

A thesis statement is a complete sentence

that contains one main idea. This idea controls

the content of the entire essay. A thesis

statement that contains subpoints also helps a

reader know how the essay will be organized.

Look at the introductory paragraph below. See

if you can identify the thesis statement and

subpoints .

Thesis Statement: The Essay’s main idea

Since the thesis statement is the main idea for the entire essay, it should express a complete thought and be a complete sentence. The thesis statement is asserting an opinion or idea, so it should not be a question. The writer of the essay then uses the body paragraphs to prove his or her opinion . Look at the next examples to see how they can be made into thesis statements.

More about thesis statements…

For most of my life I have lived with bad health, smelly clothes, and a chronic cough. My children and husband begged me to stop the habit that caused these conditions, but I couldn’t. The habit of smoking had wrapped its addicting arms around me and was slowly strangling me until one day I realized I had to stop. This realization came after three terrifying events occurred in my family.

The thesis statement comes at the end of the introductory paragraph. This sentence tells the reader that he/she can expect to read about the events that caused the author to stop smoking in the rest of the essay.

When I was young, I always knew that I wanted to become a teacher someday. When I played, I would often gather my dolls together and pretend to teach them how to do math problems or how to read a book. As I grew older, my desire to become an ESL teacher became clearer as I did some volunteer teaching overseas and in the United States. As I look back on my reasons for becoming a teacher, there are three reasons that stand out. These are: my love for the English language, my innate interest in how people learn, and my desire to help other people .

Thesis Statements and Subpoints (This is a personal essay.)

The thesis statement contains the main idea that controls the content of the essay.

Subpoints in the thesis or nearby help the reader know how the essay will be organized

Psychologists have argued for decades about how a person’s character is formed. Numerous psychologists believe that one’s birth order (i.e. place in the family as the youngest, oldest, or middle child) has the greatest influence. B irth order can have a significant impact in the formation of a child’s character . Birth order can strongly affect one’s relationship with parents, relationships with others, and how one views responsibility as an adult.

Another Example: Written in third person… more formal.

Non-examples and Examples

How to revise weak thesis statements

The sport of cross-country running.

Why do I want to be a teacher?

This is not a complete sentence.

The sport of cross-country running has allowed me

to get in better shape and meet some interesting people.

Being a teacher is a great profession because it allows me to work with students and be creative.

This is a question, not a statement.

I learned to play many musical instruments when I was young.

This would not be considered a good thesis statement because it is only expressing a fact. It doesn’t give the writer’s opinion or attitude on playing musical instruments. This thesis statement doesn’t give the writer very much to explain or prove in his/her essay.

Learning to play many musical instruments when I was young helped me to become a more intelligent and well-rounded person.

This thesis statement is much better because it expresses how the writer feels about the experience of learning to play musical instruments. This thesis statement requires the writer to explain how and why playing a musical instrument made him/her a better person.

How to revise weak thesis statements by adding the opinion element

Thesis Statement Review

• States the main idea of the essay in a complete sentence, not in a question.
• Is usually at the end of an introduction.
• States an opinion or attitude on a topic.
• It doesn’t just state the topic, itself.
• Often lists subtopics. does not directly announce your main topic.

You can make your thesis statement more

specific by including subtopics or supporting

ideas. By doing this, you give your reader a

clear idea of what will follow in the body

paragraphs of your essay.

Adding Subtopics to your Thesis

Adding Subtopics

The large influx of people to California has had major effects on the state.

No subtopics are named in this thesis statement.

The large influx of people to California has had major effects on the ability of the state to provide housing, electricity, and jobs for all residents.

This statement names three subtopics. Can you find all of the subtopics?

subtopic #1

subtopic #2

subtopic #3

Key Features of the Thesis

1. states the main idea of the essay in a complete sentence, not in a question.

3. states an opinion or attitude on a topic. ( doesn’t just state the topic, itself)

2. is usually at the end of an introduction.

4. often lists subtopics.

5. does not directly announce your main topic.

Thesis Statements

What this handout is about.

This handout describes what a thesis statement is, how thesis statements work in your writing, and how you can craft or refine one for your draft.

Introduction

Writing in college often takes the form of persuasion—convincing others that you have an interesting, logical point of view on the subject you are studying. Persuasion is a skill you practice regularly in your daily life. You persuade your roommate to clean up, your parents to let you borrow the car, your friend to vote for your favorite candidate or policy. In college, course assignments often ask you to make a persuasive case in writing. You are asked to convince your reader of your point of view. This form of persuasion, often called academic argument, follows a predictable pattern in writing. After a brief introduction of your topic, you state your point of view on the topic directly and often in one sentence. This sentence is the thesis statement, and it serves as a summary of the argument you’ll make in the rest of your paper.

What is a thesis statement?

A thesis statement:

• tells the reader how you will interpret the significance of the subject matter under discussion.
• is a road map for the paper; in other words, it tells the reader what to expect from the rest of the paper.
• directly answers the question asked of you. A thesis is an interpretation of a question or subject, not the subject itself. The subject, or topic, of an essay might be World War II or Moby Dick; a thesis must then offer a way to understand the war or the novel.
• makes a claim that others might dispute.
• is usually a single sentence near the beginning of your paper (most often, at the end of the first paragraph) that presents your argument to the reader. The rest of the paper, the body of the essay, gathers and organizes evidence that will persuade the reader of the logic of your interpretation.

If your assignment asks you to take a position or develop a claim about a subject, you may need to convey that position or claim in a thesis statement near the beginning of your draft. The assignment may not explicitly state that you need a thesis statement because your instructor may assume you will include one. When in doubt, ask your instructor if the assignment requires a thesis statement. When an assignment asks you to analyze, to interpret, to compare and contrast, to demonstrate cause and effect, or to take a stand on an issue, it is likely that you are being asked to develop a thesis and to support it persuasively. (Check out our handout on understanding assignments for more information.)

How do I create a thesis?

A thesis is the result of a lengthy thinking process. Formulating a thesis is not the first thing you do after reading an essay assignment. Before you develop an argument on any topic, you have to collect and organize evidence, look for possible relationships between known facts (such as surprising contrasts or similarities), and think about the significance of these relationships. Once you do this thinking, you will probably have a “working thesis” that presents a basic or main idea and an argument that you think you can support with evidence. Both the argument and your thesis are likely to need adjustment along the way.

Writers use all kinds of techniques to stimulate their thinking and to help them clarify relationships or comprehend the broader significance of a topic and arrive at a thesis statement. For more ideas on how to get started, see our handout on brainstorming .

How do I know if my thesis is strong?

If there’s time, run it by your instructor or make an appointment at the Writing Center to get some feedback. Even if you do not have time to get advice elsewhere, you can do some thesis evaluation of your own. When reviewing your first draft and its working thesis, ask yourself the following :

• Do I answer the question? Re-reading the question prompt after constructing a working thesis can help you fix an argument that misses the focus of the question. If the prompt isn’t phrased as a question, try to rephrase it. For example, “Discuss the effect of X on Y” can be rephrased as “What is the effect of X on Y?”
• Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose? If your thesis simply states facts that no one would, or even could, disagree with, it’s possible that you are simply providing a summary, rather than making an argument.
• Is my thesis statement specific enough? Thesis statements that are too vague often do not have a strong argument. If your thesis contains words like “good” or “successful,” see if you could be more specific: why is something “good”; what specifically makes something “successful”?
• Does my thesis pass the “So what?” test? If a reader’s first response is likely to  be “So what?” then you need to clarify, to forge a relationship, or to connect to a larger issue.
• Does my essay support my thesis specifically and without wandering? If your thesis and the body of your essay do not seem to go together, one of them has to change. It’s okay to change your working thesis to reflect things you have figured out in the course of writing your paper. Remember, always reassess and revise your writing as necessary.
• Does my thesis pass the “how and why?” test? If a reader’s first response is “how?” or “why?” your thesis may be too open-ended and lack guidance for the reader. See what you can add to give the reader a better take on your position right from the beginning.

Suppose you are taking a course on contemporary communication, and the instructor hands out the following essay assignment: “Discuss the impact of social media on public awareness.” Looking back at your notes, you might start with this working thesis:

Social media impacts public awareness in both positive and negative ways.

You can use the questions above to help you revise this general statement into a stronger thesis.

• Do I answer the question? You can analyze this if you rephrase “discuss the impact” as “what is the impact?” This way, you can see that you’ve answered the question only very generally with the vague “positive and negative ways.”
• Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose? Not likely. Only people who maintain that social media has a solely positive or solely negative impact could disagree.
• Is my thesis statement specific enough? No. What are the positive effects? What are the negative effects?
• Does my thesis pass the “how and why?” test? No. Why are they positive? How are they positive? What are their causes? Why are they negative? How are they negative? What are their causes?
• Does my thesis pass the “So what?” test? No. Why should anyone care about the positive and/or negative impact of social media?

After thinking about your answers to these questions, you decide to focus on the one impact you feel strongly about and have strong evidence for:

Because not every voice on social media is reliable, people have become much more critical consumers of information, and thus, more informed voters.

This version is a much stronger thesis! It answers the question, takes a specific position that others can challenge, and it gives a sense of why it matters.

Let’s try another. Suppose your literature professor hands out the following assignment in a class on the American novel: Write an analysis of some aspect of Mark Twain’s novel Huckleberry Finn. “This will be easy,” you think. “I loved Huckleberry Finn!” You grab a pad of paper and write:

Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn is a great American novel.

You begin to analyze your thesis:

• Do I answer the question? No. The prompt asks you to analyze some aspect of the novel. Your working thesis is a statement of general appreciation for the entire novel.

Think about aspects of the novel that are important to its structure or meaning—for example, the role of storytelling, the contrasting scenes between the shore and the river, or the relationships between adults and children. Now you write:

In Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain develops a contrast between life on the river and life on the shore.

• Do I answer the question? Yes!
• Have I taken a position that others might challenge or oppose? Not really. This contrast is well-known and accepted.
• Is my thesis statement specific enough? It’s getting there–you have highlighted an important aspect of the novel for investigation. However, it’s still not clear what your analysis will reveal.
• Does my thesis pass the “how and why?” test? Not yet. Compare scenes from the book and see what you discover. Free write, make lists, jot down Huck’s actions and reactions and anything else that seems interesting.
• Does my thesis pass the “So what?” test? What’s the point of this contrast? What does it signify?”

After examining the evidence and considering your own insights, you write:

Through its contrasting river and shore scenes, Twain’s Huckleberry Finn suggests that to find the true expression of American democratic ideals, one must leave “civilized” society and go back to nature.

This final thesis statement presents an interpretation of a literary work based on an analysis of its content. Of course, for the essay itself to be successful, you must now present evidence from the novel that will convince the reader of your interpretation.

Works consulted

We consulted these works while writing this handout. This is not a comprehensive list of resources on the handout’s topic, and we encourage you to do your own research to find additional publications. Please do not use this list as a model for the format of your own reference list, as it may not match the citation style you are using. For guidance on formatting citations, please see the UNC Libraries citation tutorial . We revise these tips periodically and welcome feedback.

Anson, Chris M., and Robert A. Schwegler. 2010. The Longman Handbook for Writers and Readers , 6th ed. New York: Longman.

Lunsford, Andrea A. 2015. The St. Martin’s Handbook , 8th ed. Boston: Bedford/St Martin’s.

Ramage, John D., John C. Bean, and June Johnson. 2018. The Allyn & Bacon Guide to Writing , 8th ed. New York: Pearson.

Ruszkiewicz, John J., Christy Friend, Daniel Seward, and Maxine Hairston. 2010. The Scott, Foresman Handbook for Writers , 9th ed. Boston: Pearson Education.

You may reproduce it for non-commercial use if you use the entire handout and attribute the source: The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

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Identifying Thesis Statements, Claims, and Evidence

Thesis statements, claims, and evidence, introduction.

The three important parts of an argumentative essay are:

• A thesis statement is a sentence, usually in the first paragraph of an article, that expresses the article’s main point. It is not a fact; it’s a statement that you could disagree with.  Therefore, the author has to convince you that the statement is correct.
• Claims are statements that support the thesis statement, but like the thesis statement,  are not facts.  Because a claim is not a fact, it requires supporting evidence.
• Evidence is factual information that shows a claim is true.  Usually, writers have to conduct their own research to find evidence that supports their ideas.  The evidence may include statistical (numerical) information, the opinions of experts, studies, personal experience, scholarly articles, or reports.

Each paragraph in the article is numbered at the beginning of the first sentence.

Paragraphs 1-7

Identifying the Thesis Statement. Paragraph 2 ends with this thesis statement:  “People’s prior convictions should not be held against them in their pursuit of higher learning.”  It is a thesis statement for three reasons:

• It is the article’s main argument.
• It is not a fact. Someone could think that peoples’ prior convictions should affect their access to higher education.
• It requires evidence to show that it is true.

Finding Claims.  A claim is statement that supports a thesis statement.  Like a thesis, it is not a fact so it needs to be supported by evidence.

You have already identified the article’s thesis statement: “People’s prior convictions should not be held against them in their pursuit of higher learning.”

Like the thesis, a claim be an idea that the author believes to be true, but others may not agree.  For this reason, a claim needs support.

• Question 1.  Can you find a claim in paragraph 3? Look for a statement that might be true, but needs to be supported by evidence.

Finding Evidence. 

Paragraphs 5-7 offer one type of evidence to support the claim you identified in the last question.  Reread paragraphs 5-7.

• Question 2.  Which word best describes the kind of evidence included in those paragraphs:  A report, a study, personal experience of the author, statistics, or the opinion of an expert?

Paragraphs 8-10

Finding Claims

Paragraph 8 makes two claims:

• “The United States needs to have more of this transformative power of education.”
• “The country [the United States] incarcerates more people and at a higher rate than any other nation in the world.”

Finding Evidence

Paragraphs 8 and 9 include these statistics as evidence:

• “The U.S. accounts for less than 5 percent of the world population but nearly 25 percent of the incarcerated population around the globe.”
• “Roughly 2.2 million people in the United States are essentially locked away in cages. About 1 in 5 of those people are locked up for drug offenses.”

Question 3. Does this evidence support claim 1 from paragraph 8 (about the transformative power of education) or claim 2 (about the U.S.’s high incarceration rate)?

Question 4. Which word best describes this kind of evidence:  A report, a study, personal experience of the author, statistics, or the opinion of an expert?

Paragraphs 11-13

Remember that in paragraph 2, Andrisse writes that:

• “People’s prior convictions should not be held against them in their pursuit of higher learning.” (Thesis statement)
• “More must be done to remove the various barriers that exist between formerly incarcerated individuals such as myself and higher education.” (Claim)

Now, review paragraphs 11-13 (Early life of crime). In these paragraphs, Andrisse shares more of his personal story.

Question 5. Do you think his personal story is evidence for statement 1 above, statement 2, both, or neither one?

Question 6. Is yes, which one(s)?

Question 7. Do you think his personal story is good evidence?  Does it persuade you to agree with him?

Paragraphs 14-16

Listed below are some claims that Andrisse makes in paragraph 14.  Below each claim, please write the supporting evidence from paragraphs 15 and 16.  If you can’t find any evidence,  write “none.”

Claim:  The more education a person has, the higher their income.

Claim: Similarly, the more education a person has, the less likely they are to return to prison.

Paragraphs 17-19

Evaluating Evidence

In these paragraphs, Andrisse returns to his personal story. He explains how his father’s illness inspired him to become a doctor and shares that he was accepted to only one of six biomedical graduate programs.

Do you think that this part of Andrisse’s story serves as evidence (support) for any claims that you’ve identified so far?   Or does it support his general thesis that “people’s prior convictions should not be held against them in pursuit of higher learning?” Please explain your answer.

Paragraphs 20-23

Andrisse uses his personal experience to repeat a claim he makes in paragraph 3, that “more must be done to remove the various barriers that exist between formerly incarcerated individuals such as myself and higher education.”

To support this statement, he has to show that barriers exist.  One barrier he identifies is the cost of college. He then explains the advantages of offering Pell grants to incarcerated people.

What evidence in paragraphs 21-23 support his claim about the success of Pell grants?

Paragraphs  24-28 (Remove questions about drug crimes from federal aid forms)

In this section, Andrisse argues that federal aid forms should not ask students about prior drug convictions.  To support that claim, he includes a statistic about students who had to answer a similar question on their college application.

What statistic does he include?

In paragraph 25, he assumes that if a question about drug convictions discourages students from applying to college, it will probably also discourage them from applying for federal aid.

What do you think about this assumption?   Do you think it’s reasonable or do you think Andrisse needs stronger evidence to show that federal aid forms should not ask students about prior drug convictions?

Supporting English Language Learners in First-Year College Composition Copyright © by Breana Bayraktar is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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