I would like to apologize for missing our scheduled appointment last Wednesday, April 21, 2015. I also apologize for not calling in advance to cancel. I will call your office this week to reschedule a meeting with you.
Thank you for your understanding and patience.
Sincerely,
Your typed name
Apology for Reply to Belated Invitation
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Benjamin Alott, Thank you for the invitation to your party. However, please accept my apologies for this late reply. I would very much like to attend your party and hope that you can accept my RSVP at this late date. Please let me know if I am too late in responding. Again, thank you so much for the invitation. Thank you, Your typed name |
Apology for Broken Object
Dear Ms. Green, I would like to apologize for the damage my daughter caused to your window. Please send me the repair bill, so I can reimburse you. I assure you that this will not happen again. If there is anything else I can do for you, please let me know. Sincerely, Your typed name, your neighbor |
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Greater Good Science Center • Magazine • In Action • In Education
People make mistakes all the time. Not just bad people, or weak people. All people. Our mistakes are what make us human. And even when we don’t think that we’ve made a mistake, other people will often find errors in our ways. We human beings are walking offenders.
Here’s the real question: If we’ve done something that offends someone else—whether or not we feel we are to blame—should we apologize?
I believe that it almost always serves our highest good to apologize if we’ve hurt or offended someone else—even if we think the offended person’s anger is unjustified, or if we have a perfectly good excuse for what happened. Or if our intentions were all good.
Often, the impact of our action is not what we intended. But here’s the thing: Impact matters much more than intention. Our happiness is best predicted by the breadth and depth of our social connections—our relationships with friends, family, partners, spouses, neighbors, colleagues—and so broken or fraying connections are usually worth repairing.
We don’t repair a fissure in one of our relationships by ignoring it. (We have a saying in our family: You can sweep sh*t under the rug, but it is still going to smell.) And we don’t repair it by blaming someone else, or defending our actions. We initiate a repair by apologizing.
But all apologies aren’t created equal, of course. (All parents have watched children spit out a forced “SORRY!” and known it was worthless.) A good apology is something of an art.
So what makes a good apology? After studying that question extensively, Aaron Lazare developed perhaps the most robust criteria to date for effective apologies. Drawing on Dr. Lazare’s work, I’ve whittled down his ideas to the following three-step method for making a good apology.
Usually, we start by saying “I’m sorry” to express remorse. “I’m sorry” is more effective when we elaborate on our remorseful feelings. For example, “I’m so sorry and sad to hear that my lack of communication has made you so angry and resentful.” Or, “I’m so sorry and embarrassed that my comment caused such an uproar.”
Just share the remorseful feelings, please. It is not constructive is succumb to—and share—feelings of resentment or defensiveness, like, “I’m sorry…you’re being so petty and critical.”
This is the hardest part, because it requires admitting responsibility for our actions or behavior. This can feel impossible if we don’t really think we did much wrong, or if our intentions were good.
Ask yourself: How is the other person feeling? What did I do that caused that feeling? Could I have done something differently?
Then acknowledge these things. Empathize with the offended person; the most important thing is that you demonstrate that you are trying to understand how they feel. (Don’t apologize until you actually do understand how they are feeling; if you can’t put yourself in their shoes, your apology will ring false.)
For example: “I can see that my comment hurt your feelings, and that you are feeling misunderstood and uncared for.”
Or to your partner you might say, “I know that it was wrong of me to call you out in front of the whole family, and that you are angry because I’ve hurt your credibility with the kids. I’m sure that was embarrassing, and it was a mistake for me to do that.”
This is where most of us are tempted to offer an explanation for our behavior. When in doubt, leave the explanation out; trying to explain away our actions can seem like we’re being defensive, or making excuses. (Remember, the point is to repair the relationship, not make the other person see that you were right.)
If you need to shed light on why you did what you did, be careful to continue to take responsibility for the negative impact you had. Saying, “I really didn’t know that you would be offended” is an excuse, not a good explanation. Whining that you didn’t intend for the other person to be hurt doesn’t shed light on anything. More effective would be saying, “It is no excuse for standing you up, but I want you to know that my stepfather had just had a stroke, and I was so frantic to get to the hospital that I forgot to call you.”
If you do offer an explanation, it can help to reiterate your mistake and again acknowledge how the other person feels: “Again, I’m so sorry that I didn’t call you, and that you were stuck there waiting for me for an hour. I can only imagine how upset, worried, and angry you must be.”
Good apologies include a reparation of some kind, either real or symbolic. Maybe you create an opportunity for the person you embarrassed to regain credibility. Or perhaps you admit your mistake to others, too, as a part of the reparation. In many relationships, a hug is a great reparation.
Often, all we need to do is explain what we are going to do differently the next time so that we don’t repeat the offending action or behavior. This helps us rebuild trust and repair the relationship.
If you aren’t sure how to make it right, just ask, “Is there anything I can do to make this up to you?”
Above all, deliver on any promises you make. When we feel guilty or embarrassed, sometimes we over-correct in our attempt to gain forgiveness . If the person is asking for something that you can’t give, say so, and say that you will give some thought to what you can give to make it up to them.
Knowing how to apologize well is at the top of my Sweet Spot Manifesto . It’s a life skill I want my children to practice and master. And it’s one that I’m still working on myself.
When has an apology made all the difference in your life? Leave a comment below.
Are you craving one of these apologies? Whenever I talk or write about making apologies, people often respond by wishing that someone else would apologize to them. If this is you, please leave your story in the comments—I will try to address your situation in a future post.
Christine Carter, Ph.D. is a Senior Fellow at the Greater Good Science Center. She is the author of The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction (BenBella, 2020), The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less (Ballantine Books, 2015), and Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents (Random House, 2010). A former director of the GGSC, she served for many years as author of its parenting blog, Raising Happiness . Find out more about Christine here .
Mary Louise Kelly
There are certain words that can creep into apologies but should be avoided, experts say. jayk7/Getty Images hide caption
There are certain words that can creep into apologies but should be avoided, experts say.
There's something very powerful about receiving or giving a heartfelt, genuine apology.
Bad apologies, on the other hand, can be disastrous and lead to more hurt.
The new book, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies , draws from a broad range of research to explain the power of apologies, why we don't always get good ones, and the best way to tell someone you're sorry.
Co-authors Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy break down the six (and a half) steps to great apologies. They are:
"These six steps are relevant for adults, for children, for corporations, for institutions, for governments," Ingall said. "And six-and-a-half is 'listen.' People want to be heard, and don't jump over them. Let the person that you hurt have their say."
Ingall said saying the word "sorry" may seem obvious, but it didn't always happen. Instead, people say things like they're "regretful," and this isn't the same thing.
"Regret is about how I feel," Ingall said. "We're all regretful. 'Sorry' is about how the other person feels. And when you apologize, you have to keep the other person's feelings at top of mind."
Then there are the words not to say during an apology.
Ingall points to words like "obviously" ("If it was obvious, you wouldn't have to say it") and "already" ("'I've already apologized' is a thing we hear a lot"), and the qualifiers like "sorry if ..." and "sorry but ..." and "I didn't meant to."
"Intent is far less important than impact when it comes to apologies," Ingall said.
Millennials in hollywood are making parents apologize on-screen.
McCarthy adds that a bad apology can even make things worse.
"It's akin to the cover-up being worse than a crime, if you make an apology that says, you know, 'You shouldn't even have a white sofa,' or, 'You shouldn't have been standing there,'" she said.
On the other hand, a great — even late — apology can have tremendous healing power, the authors say.
"I received a letter years after a breakup from a boyfriend," Ingall said. "And he just said, 'I wanted you to know I'm getting married. And I'm aware that I was often not a good boyfriend. And I want you to know that I was listening, even when it didn't seem like I wasn't listening. And I'm going to be a better husband because of our relationship.'"
Ingall said there was no return address on the letter, which made it feel more meaningful as there was no expectation of a response.
"I still had some sad and angry feelings about that relationship, and it felt so healing," she said. "And it felt like it was good for my relationships moving forward, too. I mean, a good apology is a really, really potent thing."
"I think in some ways we don't even understand yet."
Mallory Yu edited the radio interview.
It’s easy to give a bad apology. Here’s how to give a good one.
by Allie Volpe
If you can’t remember the last time you apologized: congratulations, you are perfect — or at least you believe you are. For the rest of us, apologizing is a common, if difficult, part of life.
Among the earliest lessons imparted to children is the art of saying sorry, yet these skills don’t always transfer neatly to adulthood. Relationships are messy and both parties often have some level of culpability. However, the biggest obstacle to apologetic bliss isn’t a complicated argument — it’s self-protective motivations.
Good apologies are notoriously hard to come by, partly because of an inherent resistance to making them in the first place. People are hesitant to apologize because they falsely believe it affects how outsiders perceive them, says Amy Ebesu Hubbard , a professor at the University of Hawaii Manoa School of Communication and Information. Some view apologizing as admitting defeat and thereby lowering their social status; others think it tarnishes their reputation. On the contrary, a successful apology can bring people closer together and can improve the apologizer’s standing with the receiver, Hubbard says.
There are a number of other psychological barriers preventing people from apologizing, according to Karina Schumann , a professor of psychology at the University of Pittsburgh. Chief among them is a desire to see yourself as a good person — and for others to consider you morally just, too. When someone is upset with you, it’s common to shift into self-protection mode and to trick yourself into believing you didn’t do anything wrong. “A lot of the time, people don’t apologize simply because these self-defensive processes kick in and they come up with all kinds of reasons why they shouldn’t apologize,” Schumann says. “They push blame onto the other person, they think of excuses, all the situational factors that caused them to behave the way they did.” Another impediment to apologizing can be a lack of empathy or concern for the relationship with the wronged party.
Saying sorry effectively boils down to a few simple steps that can be easily replicated and adapted to different situations, from accidentally bumping into a stranger in a crowded bar to insulting the entirety of your best friend’s life choices. The key to successful apologies doesn’t lie in following a formula, though: It’s true sincerity.
According to Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy, the authors of the book Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies , successful apologies contain six (and a half) components:
The half-step is to listen to the person or people (these steps work regardless if you’re apologizing to one person or a group) you’ve wronged. This is about their experience and emotions, not yours.
“They’re more or less ranked in the order of importance,” McCarthy says. This isn’t to say listening is the least important, but sometimes the hurt person may not want to extend the conversation beyond hearing you say sorry.
Each component can be adjusted to fit the seriousness of the apology. You don’t need to explain what you’re doing to better yourself after accidentally stealing your neighbor’s trash can. But you’ll want to show you understand why punching a wall in a rage is not healthy.
Saying the words “I’m sorry” or “I apologize” is non-negotiable in any decent apology, big or small. Avoid terms like “I regret” or “I feel really bad about what happened.”
For bigger infractions, explicitly saying what you’re apologizing for and why it was wrong helps you take accountability. Be specific and use active language. Think: “I’m sorry I accused your sister of stealing money. It was crappy of me to make assumptions based on judgments.” and not “I regret the events that occurred which caused you to feel upset” or the other gobbledygook commonly found in brand , YouTuber , and notes-app apologies. “If you just dropped a cup of water, you don’t need to explain to that person,” McCarthy says. “But in most cases, it’s really good to specify.”
Even if you aren’t sure why someone is angry with you — but you know they are — apologize for what you can, Hubbard says; that might sound like “I can see that you’re upset with me and I’m very sorry for hurting you.” Piecemeal apologies also apply to situations where you’re being told to say sorry even if you feel you were justified in your actions. Ingall recalls a situation in which her child was asked to apologize for yelling at another student after they were provoked by a bully. “I felt like Max was 100 percent the wronged party and only reacted,” Ingall says. “We figured out that Max could say, ‘I’m sorry for disrupting the class.’”
Explaining why you acted the way you did can add important context, Schumann says. Victims of wrongdoing often see the transgression as purposeful, unfair, and intentional, according to research . On the other hand, the wrongdoers tend to see their actions as provoked and justified. A non-defensive account of your motivations can help the person you’re apologizing to see that you weren’t acting maliciously. Schumann suggests saying something like, “I want to let you know why my behavior has been like this over the past few weeks just to help you understand where it was coming from. It’s no excuse and I should’ve done better.” Be careful to not make excuses, Ingall stresses. In their book, Ingall and McCarthy write that “I didn’t mean to,” “Some things just fell through the cracks,” or “I knew you’d never understand” are all common excuses.
Saying the words “I’m sorry” or “I apologize” is non-negotiable in any decent apology, big or small
Describe how you’ll never make the same infraction again with specificity: “I’ll set a reminder in my phone next time so I don’t forget,” “I won’t use that language anymore,” “I’m going to therapy.” It’s not enough to say “I’m taking responsibility for my actions.” How will you take responsibility?
While not applicable in all situations, making up for a bad deed can look like offering to buy a new white rug after you spilled red wine all over it, or publicly correcting the record regarding the embarrassing claims you made about a friend.
These intense and personal apologies are what researcher Yohsuke Ohtsubo calls “ costly apologies ,” where the wrongdoer is willing to do whatever it takes to repair the relationship. Victims perceive these apologies as being more sincere because they know “that you value the relationship with them more than the cost you pay,” says Ohtsubo, a professor at the University of Tokyo, “which also informs them that you are not likely to do the same transgression again.” The “cost” incurred has less to do with monetary value but instead is focused on the worth of the relationship.
There are a few hallmarks of a bad apology. Ingall and McCarthy suggest avoiding language like “Sorry if …” (“Sorry if you were offended”), “Sorry but …” (“Sorry, but I had every right to yell”), and “Sorry you …” (“I’m sorry you took that the wrong way”). Don’t include words like “obviously,” “regrettable,” and “unfortunate” either.
Any statement that confers blame on the recipient is a bad apology. “It’s very normal for us to want to point out how they’ve hurt us as well,” Schumann says, “because oftentimes these things aren’t clean-cut in terms of who hurt who.” If you feel like you are also owed an apology, save that for a separate conversation.
By apologizing, you acknowledge your words and actions have caused pain — so don’t minimize the other person’s hurt in order to assuage your ego. “It was just a joke,” “I didn’t mean anything by it,” or “I don’t know why it was such a big deal” are bound to make the other person feel worse, Schumann says.
More important than the timing and means of your apology is its sincerity, Hubbard says. If you’re not ready to say sorry and mean it, you can apologize multiple times, Hubbard says: Once to clear the air of any awkwardness, and later when you truly feel repentant.
Don’t worry about where the apology lives within the conversation — focus on being sincere and empathetic instead. A commonly cited study found that when apologies came after the wronged party had a chance to share their feelings, they were more effective. One of Hubbard’s studies showed that starting a conversation with an apology can springboard a deeper conversation. Whenever you apologize, be prepared for any range of emotions, and to listen (or for the other person to disengage completely).
In general, the most sincere apologies take place face-to-face or over the phone. The other person can hear your voice, your tone, and read your body language. Text apologies can be utilized if you typically interact with the person you’ve hurt that way. Messages on social media can be an effective way to apologize to someone from your past you don’t communicate with or see in person. Mass apologies on social media should be avoided at all costs.
“It is far healthier to reach out with your actual human voice to your friends who you have actually harmed and say, ‘I’m sorry, I love you, I miss you. Can we talk about this?’” Ingall says. “You will find that to be endlessly more fulfilling than the Notes app apology that, B-T-dubs, everybody ends up messing up anyway.”
There are seemingly endless situations calling for an apology — plenty of ways to screw up, piss people off, or offend — but a few circumstances when you don’t need to change a thing. Women and girls, who are famously maligned for apologizing too frequently , should stop apologizing for apologizing, Ingall says. “We have to be really careful about not over-policing women’s speech and not telling women that the way they talk — whether that’s vocal fry, or rise in inflection at the end of the sentence, or apologizing — is wrong,” she says, “because sometimes there are things we just got to do to make it through the day and to make our life easier.”
Never apologize for existing, taking space, and living your authentic self. That’s the version of unapologetic worth aspiring to.
“It’s appropriate to apologize for things that you do or say,” McCarthy says. “You don’t have to apologize for who you are.”
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By Author Lauren Levine
Categories Quotes
Choosing the right words to say sorry to someone you hurt can be tricky. So I collected the best apology paragraphs available online and I’m sure they’ll help you restore much-needed trust, peace, and harmony. Let’s take a look!
1. “My tears are dropping as looking at the raindrops. I remember the moments we shared. As the rain soaks in my skin, I remember our love and realize how stupid I am for hurting you. I’m sorry.”
2. “You’re the only person I can tell all my secrets to, the first person I want to talk to when I wake up, and the last person I want to talk to before I drift off to sleep. I am so sorry for betraying your trust. Your trust is a treasure that I did not treat well. I will work hard to earn that trust back from you.”
3. “Every time I hurt you, I put blisters in myself. Every time I make you angry, I am belittling myself, Every time I complain to you, I downgrade myself. Please forgive me, my love.”
4. “I am sorry for being such a fool. But I am a fool who is in love with you. I am sorry for what I did. I will wait forever if that is how long you need to forgive me. Please accept my sincere apology.”
5. “I am an imperfect being, but this does not justify the mistakes that I have made. I understand that even if I say sorry, it will not change anything. However, I will keep my promise that I will change because I want to become a better person for you.”
6. “You helped me to become a better person. Honestly, I am trying hard to become better for you. I’m sorry that I have hurt you. I humbly ask for your forgiveness.”
7. “I am the luckiest person on this planet to have a partner like you. But I always cause you some headaches. I promise to become the best person that you can be proud of. I’m sorry for the wrongdoings I did.”
8. “I miss the moments when we laugh together, cry together, and tap our backs together. But I hurt you and caused pain you pain. Please remember the happy moments we shared and forgive me.”
9. “You are my priceless love. I’m sorry for not listening to you and going the other way. I realize the huge mistake I commit. I am sorry for hurting you my love .”
10. “I can make the ground shake because of my love. My love can shatter the earth. My heart broke when you left me. I regret and am angry with myself for doing such a stupid act. Please forgive me.”
11. “I may be too late. You may already be gone. Or should I say that I am the one who may be gone from your heart?”
12. “I wish I could travel back in time and not make a mistake. I wish to take back the pain. I wish to fill those pains with joy. I am sorry.”
13. “I feel shame for what I said to you. A simple I’m sorry message may not be enough. But I am willing to do everything to get you back and be my one and only true love.”
14. “How I wish I could turn back the hands of time and unsay everything I said back then. I never meant to be mean. Please, forgive me.”
15. “I don’t deserve you, and that’s why I am apologizing with this sorry message. You are my only true love. If we are meant to be, then somehow, we will make it work. Please forgive me.”
16. “I know sorry is not enough, but you cross my mind every single day. Life without you is difficult and meaningless. Making you happy is my only motto. I’m afraid to lose you. I promise this is the last time. Forgive me, my baby!”
17. “Words can’t describe how sad I’m that I broke your heart. Please forgive me and give me a place in your heart. I cannot live like this. I apologize for everything I did. Without you, my life is nothing.”
18. “I was such a fool to make an argument. Please forgive me, and let me right all my wrongs. I feel like you are miles away from me. After this argument, I realized how much you mean in my life. I’m sorry, baby!”
19. “The biggest mistake I ever made was allowing pride to come in between us. How I wish I had let it off earlier, we wouldn’t be here today. I’m willing to do anything to get back to you again.”
20. “I am in the park, and the sunlight reminds me of your beautiful hair. It reminds me of the laughter and smile we had. I am still waiting for you. I will never stop waiting for you. I am deeply sorry.”
1. “My world breaks apart when I see you crying. My heart breaks into pieces realizing I hurt you. I can neither bear this pain nor see you like this. My heart has already been shattered into pieces. I’m sorry!”
2. “I know you are mad at me right now. I hate seeing you cry. I have myself realizing that I have hurt you. Please, give us a chance to fix this.”
3. “Can we, please, bury the argument and move on? I know this is unforgivable. I know you can never love me like before, but I cannot lose you, baby. Sorry, the love of my life!”
4. “Baby, we promised not to allow anything to get in our way. I’m sorry for the mistake I did that disappointed you and made you angry. I hope and pray that you can forgive me.”
5. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I’m sending you this love message in a card to let you know that I love everything about you, always, every single day.”
6. “Yesterday was the saddest moment for me as I cannot believe that we made a fight last night. I’m sorry for whatever the cause is. I promise that I will change and become good to you.”
See also: 100 Couple Love Fight Quotes To Share With Your Partner
7. “Since the time you accepted me and allowed me to love you, all I ever wanted was to make you happy. I think my effort is not enough, as it did not appear that much. I am sorry for being insensitive. I ask for your forgiveness.”
8. “Our relationship is tested like gold in a fire. It becomes more refined and stronger. May you give me your forgiveness.”
9. “Please excuse my behavior last week. Your criticism was completely justified, and I should have reacted differently to it.”
10. “When we made our vows, we both accepted that we both have small potholes in life. These potholes are the challenges in the freeway of our married life. Can we fix our potholes together?”
11. “When we made our promises in front of the minister, I knew at that time that half of me was in you. Now that we are in this situation, I feel down and cannot function well. Please forgive me.”
12. “Our relationship is still sweet, even if you add a little saltiness. I’m sorry for the silly mistakes that I have made. I know what I did wasn’t cool. I’m sorry.”
13. “Yesterday was the best time of my life. Thank you for hugging me despite the wrong actions that I have done. You are truly my best friend and lover. I’m truly sorry for hurting you.”
14. “Your presence is like heaven to me. You comforted me. Now that a single mistake made it dull, I feel alone and sorry. Please forgive me.”
15. “It’s not easy to apologize. I hope you see my apology comes from the heart. And I hope you put our love above my mistake.”
16. “They say the best apology is to change your behavior. Let’s spend time together again so that I can show you my new behavior.”
17. “I’m sorry I’m not perfect, and I haven’t been working on it. But you are perfect to me, and I could still learn from you if you let me.”
18. “I truly care about you and love you like crazy. I know a huge amount of sorry messages cannot fix your heart. But I will try my level best to make you happy. I’m sorry, my love.”
19. “I should never say those words to you. I cannot lose you, baby. The only thing I can do right now is to think about you. Seeing you like this shatters my heart. Sorry for breaking your heart, baby.”
20. “I’m sorry that I messed up. But I’ll fix everything, sweetheart. I can live without your love and care, baby. I can fix everything if you give me a last chance. I realized that I was wrong, and so I’m sorry!”
1. “You are the only person who taught me that asking for humble forgiveness is the bravest thing I can ever do. It frustrates me because I hurt the feelings of the number 1 woman in my life. That is you, sweetheart. I’m sorry, and I ask for your forgiveness.”
2. “I’m sorry for the wrongdoings I did that disappointed you. You are the best girlfriend in the world, for you never stop being on my side despite my inequities. Please forgive me.”
3. “I’m sorry, my dear, for the pride of my heart. It took time for me to realize that being proud is also breaking you as my wife. I promise to do my very best never to let it happen again.”
4. “May you feel the sincerity of my apology? I’m very sorry for hurting you so much. I’m sorry for the hurting words that came out of my mouth. Please, I am asking for your forgiveness.”
5. “Without you, my life is falling apart. I am a hopeless, miserable man who doesn’t know what to do with his life anymore. Please don’t leave me in this abyss. Forgive my mistakes and stay with me.”
6. “I feel like an idiot, thinking that everything that happened is because of my immature mindset. I regret what happened. I wish I could still have the chance to come back and give you my warm, loving arms. I love you so much, and I am deeply sorry.”
7. “Every day and every night, I am haunted by my thoughts because of the pain I caused you. I regret giving you tears instead of laughter. I really messed up. Please forgive me.”
See also: 90 Best I’m Sorry Paragraphs For Her When You Messed Up
8. “I am too much of an idiot to make such a mistake and cost you to lose your trust in me. Believe me, it is never my intention. I’m sorry, and please forgive me.”
9. “My sweet wife, I’m sorry for being rude and hurting you with my bad mouth. The stress I have in my work is not a good reason for doing such cruelty. Please give me your forgiveness.”
10. “I love you more deeply as you showed me how strong you are as a woman who stood up and corrected me for the mistakes I made. It helped me change my heart and mind. Thank you. I’m sorry for being immature.”
See also: 100 Best I’m Sorry Paragraphs For Her To Make Her Forgive You
1. “For the last few days, I have felt so lonely. I’m missing the sweetest hug from my man. I miss the nice words while my man is talking. I miss the kindest smile of my man. I am sorry, honey, please forgive me for my actions that hurt you.”
See also: 190 Heartfelt I Miss You Baby Quotes For Emotional Souls
2. “I am ready to do anything. I am ready to do everything. I am ready to take away all the hurt I made you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”
3. “You are the hottest guy that deserves the most understanding girlfriend. I’m sorry for the tantrums that caused you to be annoyed. I promise to throw them away and choose you to be my comfort.”
4. “I’m sorry about the mistrust I give you. I realize that I have been so unfair towards you. Can I put my fingers in the spaces between your fingers back again? I love you.”
5. “I’m sorry for making you annoyed with my jealousy and possessive attitude. I am just afraid of the other girls. I promise to work out my temper and trust in your love.”
6. “I feel the pain of realizing that such a small mistake made us suffer like this. What a stupid act of mine. Can we not let our relationship end this way? Please accept me. Please forgive me.”
7. “I am now feeling the emptiness. How can I function now without you? I’m shedding tears because of the stupid mistake. I’m sorry, my love. Please forgive me.”
8. “Dear, I am guilty of what I have done. I beg your forgiveness. You are a man with a big heart. I love you even in times of challenges like this. This will never happen again.”
9. “A handsome, stunning, and loving man can never be mad at me. Please forgive me. I hope we can be back to normal mode because I miss you now.”
10. “Ever since we decided to date, we have met plenty of setbacks, bad times, and challenges. Yet, we never give up and never allow those to rotten our relationship. Can we not let it happen this time?”
See also: Top 120 Most Emotional Sorry Messages For Boyfriend
1. “My dearest love, I don’t deserve forgiveness, but I request you to forgive me this time. I know my faults are huge, and I am a bad person to love. But trust me, you were always my first priority and will forever be. I’m sorry.”
2. “I know I’m imperfect, and I make mistakes. I promise not to make the same mistake again to hurt you. I never meant to tell you those words. I’m extremely sorry, and please forgive me, baby.”
3. “I want to enjoy the rest of my life with you. Please forgive me, baby. I won’t hurt you again. No one in this world cannot replace you, and I’m ashamed of myself.”
4. “I’m sorry for neglecting you while giving priority to other people and things. All I can say is I’m ashamed of myself for not treating you properly. Please give me another chance and let me fix everything in the right place.”
5. “While I hurt you, I hurt myself two times more. My heart is filled with sorrow. I’m always ready to make you happy, and I will make you happy in the future. Just give me one chance.”
6. “I’m sorry, babe, for hiding the truth from you. Please believe in me, and I will make everything like before. I am reassured that I will always be there for you, no matter what comes my way. I’m begging you to forgive me.”
7. “I love you, and I want you to know that I am very sorry, babe, for everything I did. You are the perfect partner anyone could ask for. I’m ashamed that I made an argument with you. Please give me time, and I’ll make everything like it used to be.”
8. “I don’t know what to do, knowing that I am the reason behind your tears. I just cling on to the hope that one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”
9. “You know how much I hate writing love letters, but for you, I can do anything. Whether it is writing a hundred apology letters. I am writing to let you know that I admit I did wrong to you, and I am sorry. I keep on disappointing you, but you keep on loving me. Please give me one last chance.”
10. “You are my sunshine. You light up my world as no one else can. I am sorry for letting you go. Without you, it’s darkness everywhere. Please forgive me. I will do anything to win your heart back.”
11. “You’ve occupied all of my thoughts. Things are beginning to fall out of place because the only person that gives me life isn’t here with me. Please find it in your heart to forgive me. I love you.”
12. “I am so sorry that my words and actions made you cry. I was not thinking. What can I do to make things better? I would do anything to make you smile again.”
13. “I always believe you are a person with a big heart. I would like to ask for another chance. I am asking humbly for your forgiveness for the things that disappoint you. I will never do this again.”
14. “Since the day you left, my life has crumbled into pieces. I find nowhere to go, and I am so lost. I have realized that without you in my life, it’s empty and incomplete. Please come back. I promise never to break your heart again.”
15. “You know I have never been good at words. So I don’t know if I am choosing the right words or not, but I know that what I feel is true, and I am truly ashamed of what I did. I am sorry.”
16. “My life is a mess without you. How on earth did you think I could live without you being by my side? I miss your good morning messages and your good night wishes. Please forgive me.”
17. “I don’t care how many times I have to say sorry to get your apology. I will do anything to make you happy again. Please never stop loving me. I am sorry for my stupid behavior. Please respond to my text message and let me prove it.”
18. “Before meeting you, I never knew life could be this beautiful. And now, when you are mad at me, there is nothing in this world that makes me happy. All I want is another chance.”
19. “I didn’t know my words would only push you further away. Please forgive me. Just give me one more chance to right my mistake. And I promise, my love, you won’t ever regret doing that.”
20. “My love, I just wanted to let you know that there is nothing in this world that is more dear to me than you are. I know things are not good between us right now, but I know that the love between us will not let you stay angry. I am sorry.”
No matter the wrongdoings you may have done, don’t hesitate to use one of the great apology paragraphs from this list to say sorry and ask for forgiveness.
Your sincere apology paragraph will be much appreciated and will definitely get you closer to being forgiven.
Until next time!
"if i'd known it would be so helpful, i might have shrunk around sooner", by susan shapiro.
The whole country's having a mental health crisis over political unrest, foreign wars and climate disasters , all while your therapist — like most in the profession — is away for the month of August . For an urban shrinkaholic like me, being forced off the couch for four weeks can be a scary proposition. If you're anxious about your head doctor's vacation or haven't been making progress, is it wrong to soothe your psyche with someone new who is in town?
"When I go away, I make sure another doctor is covering for me and share their contact info on my phone message and out of office email," Manhattan psychiatrist Carlos Saavedra told me. "A patient's treatment plan may include medication, seeing a trauma specialist or getting more support from Twelve Step meetings, depending on an individual’s needs." But he prefers they discuss it with him first.
My addiction specialist, Dr. W, promoted this type of open relationship, as long as he was "the primary" (as polyamorists and detectives on " Law & Order: SVU " called it). Because I was having a hard time giving up cigarettes, alcohol and pot, he recommended a psychopharmacologist colleague of his, hoping antidepressant medication would ease my extreme withdrawal. It didn't.
Wellbutrin, touted as a stop-smoking aid, almost gave me seizures. The Adderall the doctor prescribed for my potential ADD turned me into a speed freak for 24 hours, proving I didn't have attention-deficit disorder . (If I did, the pills would have calmed me.) He then suggested group therapy and 12-step meetings, but they gave me flashbacks of feeling misplaced as a kid within my big boisterous family. I managed to get clean and sober, improve my career and marriage with the talking cure, preferring to confide in just one person who knew my whole history.
Yet my dependence on him backfired one August, when we had a falling out after I learned that Dr. W had lied to me by treating someone from my life who he'd promised not to. I felt betrayed and told him that he owed me an apology. He replied, "I'm sorry for the imaginary crime you think I committed," which made me want to commit a real crime. Instead, I stopped speaking to him, ready to quit analysis altogether. But his sudden bizarre insensitivity jarred me, causing me to lose sleep and question my sanity. My crisis management strategy became my crisis. I needed a shrink to help me deal with my shrink!
If, as Erica Jong said, "every lover is a reaction against your last," so is every therapist. Dr. W — whose diploma for Ph.D. in clinical psychology hung on the wall of his office in Greenwich Village — was a father figure who I'd seen as kind of my WASP rabbi. For a fresh perspective, I called Vatsal Thakkar, a Connecticut psychiatrist with a M.D. who was younger than me and from a Hindu family. Over a few talk sessions, I chronicled Dr. W's transgression, assuming Dr. Thakkar would take my side.
I needed a shrink to help me deal with my shrink!
"It sounds like he made boundary mistakes," he told me. "But if you build up a man inappropriately, he has to fall."
"Do you mean that he's just human?" I asked.
"When he helped you quit your addictions, you imbued him with supernatural power," he opined.
"I did," I conceded. "It felt like magic."
"If he was kind and helpful to you for a long time, his recent behavior is uncharacteristic," Dr. Thakkar calmly said. "What if there's something you can't see that would solve the mystery of why he changed?" He offered the metaphor of a commuter who was angry that a woman in front of him had stopped her SUV in the middle of the street to get something in her backseat. "The furious driver couldn't see that her infant was choking."
The comparison was oddly apt. Not long later, Dr. W emailed me to apologize. His wife had been very sick in the hospital, he admitted, saying he'd lost a whole year. Afraid she wouldn't recover, he wasn't able to compartmentalize to do his job well. If I thought my husband was dying, I wouldn't be able to work either.
"I'm so sorry to hear that," I heard myself saying.
"I'm sure you'll write about this," he commented.
"You're not cheating on your therapist if you're honest about it."
I did. Though I ended our weekly sessions, we later co-authored an addiction book together. Our reconciliation inspired my memoir " The Forgiveness Tour ," where I quoted the wisdom Dr. Thakkar shared when he'd become my substitute guru. Ultimately, I realized that taking control of my health and well-being was my job, and looking for Dr. W's replacement saved me. If I'd known it would be so helpful, I might have shrunk around sooner. And it turned out this was a thing; some therapists even vacationed in July to fill the end of summer void.
"I encourage my patients to shop around and try other methods when I'm not available, especially if they want treatments I don't do like CBT, EMDR or grief counseling," Miami psychoanalyst Justena Kavanagh said. "Sometimes, it's helpful to get a second opinion and consider a new approach or multi-layered strategy."
She added, "You're not cheating on your therapist if you're honest about it."
"Look, I don't like when other therapists poach patients, but it's your right to explore other approaches when your regular therapist is away. You should be a smart and open-minded consumer," said Los Angeles psychotherapist and author Dennis Palumbo, who studied Buddhism and has a creative clientele. "If you're stepping out on your therapist in August, try a different modality that might offer illumination. No patient ever came back and told me, 'I liked the other guy better, goodbye.' But they have pointed out something the second therapist suggested they hadn't thought of and wanted to explore with me in September, which enhanced their treatment — and our relationship."
by this author
Writing professor Susan Shapiro is the bestselling author of memoirs her family hates including " Five Men Who Broke My Heart ," " Lighting Up ," and most recently " The Forgiveness Tour, " just out in paperback. You can follow her on Instagram at @profsue123
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A s I watched the flames of the wildfires consume my beloved Maui, it felt as if the very pages from the Book of Revelations were coming alive.
Homes, sacred structures, and institutions flattened. Over 100 lives were lost, with a thousand more unaccounted for. Even the ancient 150-year-old Banyan tree, a guardian of my youth, was marred by the inferno. Each ember seemed to tell a tale, a memory, a piece of a narrative that connected countless generations.
The harrowing wildfires paired with a fierce hurricane wasn't just a tragedy. It felt like Goddess Papahānaumoku—Earth Mother, herself—raging at humanity's hubris. The disturbing silence left by the missing and the mourned souls tells of a disaster that's unnatural, shaped by the human hand—a byproduct of the dangerous dance between climate change and centuries of colonial greed.
While West Maui is no stranger to wildfires, the magnitude of the blaze that tore through Lāhainā is emblematic of a changing climate. Our once-wetland haven has been transformed into a vulnerable tinderbox. Compounding the problem was Hurricane Dora— made fiercer by the warming climate—which propelled the fire further. All of this underscores a painful truth: the first and most severely impacted by the climate crisis are often indigenous, Black, brown, and low-income communities. These groups have contributed the least to climate change, but have suffered the most, and must be prioritized in our transition to a better world.
We can't ignore the scars of history which set the stage for this disaster. Before the hotels, before Hawaii was known as a state or even a territory (and way before its illegal annexation), Lāhainā was the cradle of our civilization. It was the heart and capital of the Hawaiian Kingdom. The waters were so abundant that boats once surrounded the iconic Waiola Church. Kamehameha The Great’s palace stood tall at the town’s center, keeping watch over the shoreline.
Read More: The History Lost in the Maui Wildfires But at the turn of the 20th century, American sugar barons came to exploit Hawaii's rich resources . They disrupted Lahaina's water supply and brought highly flammable grasses to Hawaii—the very ones that ignited with ferocity last week. Their heirs went on to monopolize land, marginalizing our indigenous population in the process.
Their legacy and extractive way of life endures. Maui’s most dominant corporations today, like Alexander & Baldwin, embody the legacy of those same barons who once sought to profit from our fertile lands. Their ethos of extraction and destruction persists in Maui’s most dominant industries: land speculation and tourism. These industries seek to destroy much of Hawaii’s natural beauty while gatekeeping sections of it for the privileged few. This timeline of Hawaiian history could be experienced first hand by a walk down Lāhinā’s Front Street just two weeks ago. You could see milestones of our history represented in the street’s restaurants, stores, and historic buildings: from royalty, to whaling, sugar, tourism, and luxury. Today, much of Front Street is burned to the ground. It’s a potent and harrowing reminder of the terminal point of the exploitative trajectory Hawaii has been on for decades. My greatest fear is that this trajectory of exploitation will continue in the recovery from the Maui wildfires. As whispers of reshaping Lāhainā emerge, with wealthy developers eager to mold it to their vision, our generation’s vision for social and environmental justice grows even firmer. Our recovery from the wildfires can’t just be about combating climate change—it has to be about returning control of our cherished lands to the people who hold them dear.
Read More: Why the History of Hawaii Makes People Fear Lahaina's Future
The future of Maui should be more than just a haven for tourists. Our land should cater to local needs over external desires. Instead of vast monocrops, we should diversify, nurturing fields that feed our own people. Our approach to housing must be rooted in necessity: We need to build homes to actually shelter our people, not to line the pockets of distant investors. With the Department of Hawaiian Homes fully funded for the first time and various land trusts eager to lend a hand, the moment is ripe to provide our many unsheltered Kānaka Maoli with homes that dignify their heritage.
The people of Maui, especially survivors, are taking charge of the recovery process, reshaping the blueprint for our island's restoration. We're picturing a community-driven, just recovery that not only reconstructs Maui but also fosters new leadership among Maui residents—from collaboratively rebuilding a school one day to advocating at the county council the next. As we rise from the ashes, our rebuilding efforts must champion hoʻomana Lāhui—the spirit of collective empowerment.
At the national level, it's past time for President Biden to officially recognize the climate crisis by declaring a climate emergency. This would enable him to halt the destructive fossil fuel production driving these disasters. Furthermore, substantial federal investments on the scale of trillions are required to prevent catastrophes like this one in the future and prioritize the welfare of working families in mitigation and recovery efforts. Any climate solution would be incomplete without justice at its core. Kānaka Maoli, Native Hawaiians, should be central to the rebuilding and recovery efforts. We should have the authority to manage our lands and resources.
In these heartrending times, it's challenging to see beyond the immediate pain. But there’s a silver lining in our resilience. The wildfires of Maui, while devastating, have also ignited a spark in us. They’ve awakened a renewed commitment to not just rebuild, but to redefine what Hawaii stands for. This is our home, our history, our legacy. And it's our collective responsibility to ensure that Hawaii’s future is carved out of respect, understanding, and love for its past.
Just like the Banyan tree, Lāhainā may have faced devastation, but its roots are deep and resilient. As the Banyan regrows its branches—and recolors itselves with budding leaves—so too, will Lāhainā flourish again.
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By Sarah Smarsh
Ms. Smarsh is a journalist and the author of the forthcoming book “Bone of the Bone: Essays on America by a Daughter of the Working Class.”
Sometimes on our farm a nice car would roll up the gravel driveway and a man in a slick suit would get out. He would either be trying to sell us something overpriced that we’d never buy, because of our limited means and common sense, or trying to buy something we’d never sell — namely land, about which my grandfather said, “You don’t get rid of it, because they don’t make any more of it.”
This man would shake our hands before driving off.
“Better count your fingers,” Grandpa Arnie would tell us and laugh.
I’ve shared the story before to explain the gulf I’ve long felt between the essence of the rural white working poor who raised me — honest, flawed people who would welcome just about anyone into our home but a liar — and the red-hatted-fool avatar they’ve been assigned in national discourse.
What a relief, then, to see emerge on the national stage the Minnesota governor and Democratic vice-presidential candidate Tim Walz, who embodies the earnest, humane, rural people who shaped me and the prairie populism that shaped the progressive foundations of the Great Plains.
Mr. Walz went to a state college, taught public high school and went into government — more than a couple of class rungs above my grandfather, who in the 1940s left school after sixth grade to work the Kansas wheat fields with his German American dad.
But when Mr. Walz smiles and his eyes disappear into a good-natured squint — say, while holding a piglet like a baby at a state fair — I see Grandpa Arnie.
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Our apology letter tool kit is THE place to find free samples and examples of apology letters for almost every personal and business situation. So if you need to say sorry, you've come to the right place! While our main website has several apology letter templates, they may be too complicated for some people. They're more suitable for serious ...
Write your apology with carefully-chosen words. English. Spanish. Choose a topic to view example apology letters: Apologize for a defective, damaged, ...
A personal apology letter should be: Conversational: Keep the tone informal to avoid sounding pompous and false. Make a direct apology to the recipient without hiding behind complex language. Full of remorse: Unlike in the previous example, it is advised that you express your own emotions about the situation.
Acknowledge the mistake and provide a sincere expression of regret] [2. Explain the situation, avoiding excuses or blame] [3. Discuss steps you're taking to address the issue/resolution] [4. Offer a solution, amends, or compensation if appropriate] [5.
This formal apology letter can easily be modified and tailored to your situation. Think of it as a template. Use the notes and tips as a guide, fill in the blanks, and add your own details. Just remember to be professional, keep things clear and concise, and avoid any subjective language (words like awful or terrible etc.).
1 Apologize unconditionally. At the beginning of your apology letter, write "I'm sorry for . . ." or "I apologize for . . ." followed by what you're specifically remorseful about. Expressing remorse upfront shows humility and awareness about how you've affected the other person.
Describe your role. This part is hard, but you should at least briefly describe your role in the situation and what you're actually apologizing for. Otherwise, it might seem like you're saying sorry just to say sorry. The recipient needs to know that you understand what you did wrong. Share your plan to fix things.
It's hard to write an apology letter that expresses your sincere emotions. Read on to find an outline, as well as a few samples, that'll get you started.
Template: The 4 Key Components of An Apology Letter. 1. Apologize and Provide a Detailed Account. Begin your letter by acknowledging the wrongdoing, apologizing, and offering a detailed account of the incident. It's important that the recipient knows that you clearly understand what happened and where you went wrong.
Writing an Apology Letter in Five Steps. 1. Acknowledge the mistake. After the greeting, don't waste any time. Directly state that you've realized you've made a mistake. Briefly write what the mistake was and what you're apologizing for, but be careful not to dwell. 2. Take responsibility.
Writing an apology letter can be challenging, especially when you want to express sincere remorse and seek forgiveness from the person you have hurt through words or actions. In this blog post, you will find 15 sample letters and examples for various reasons, such as apologizing for a mistake, a delay, a misunderstanding, or a bad service. You will also learn some tips for writing effective ...
Say you're sorry. When writing a letter of apology, you should include a clear "I'm sorry" statement. Don't beat around the bush or leave your recipient wondering why you've written. Give a direct apology. Acknowledge responsibility. In an apology letter, you must acknowledge your mistake.
Don't take responsibility for other errors that may have happened that weren't your fault. Also, don't mistake behavior ("I made a mistake") for character ("I am a bad person"). This isn't an exercise in self-criticism. 4. Be Clear and Concise. An apology letter should be short and to the point.
Here are the 10 most popular Apology Letters: Apology For Big Mistake. Apology Letter for Behavior. Apology to Pastor Repentance Letter. Christian Apology Letter. Apology Letter to Boss. Apology for Sexual Harassment. Child Apology Fill In The Blank. Sorry For What I Said.
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1. State what your letter is about. It's a good idea to begin by letting them know that this letter is an apology. This will give them the chance to put themselves, emotionally, in the right place to read the rest of your letter. You don't want them to be confused about why you're writing or what you're going to say.
Write as soon as possible after the incident. Apologize, but do not go overboard by saying, "I am very, very, very sorry.". Keep it simple and to the point. Summarize what you are apologizing for, and apologize only for the particular situation or problem. Be brief. Apologize cheerfully and sincerely.
Step 1: Tell them what you feel. Usually, we start by saying "I'm sorry" to express remorse. "I'm sorry" is more effective when we elaborate on our remorseful feelings. For example, "I'm so sorry and sad to hear that my lack of communication has made you so angry and resentful.". Or, "I'm so sorry and embarrassed that my ...
It's time to stop, researchers say. There are certain words that can creep into apologies but should be avoided, experts say. There's something very powerful about receiving or giving a heartfelt ...
Here are some simple steps you can follow to help you write an effective apology letter: 1. Acknowledge your mistake. The first step in writing an apology letter is informing your reader what the letter is about. Your first sentence should explain what you have done wrong and acknowledge the consequences that your mistake has had.
By apologizing, you acknowledge your words and actions have caused pain — so don't minimize the other person's hurt in order to assuage your ego. "It was just a joke," "I didn't mean ...
Elements of a Perfect Apology. Because you know that your mistake was a momentary lapse and not a long-term value judgment, you can be sincere. Find a quiet time when you're less likely to be interrupted and then address the person you've wronged. Say you're sorry. Not, "I'm sorry, but . . .", just plain ol' "I'm sorry."
Best Apology Paragraphs. 1. "My tears are dropping as looking at the raindrops. I remember the moments we shared. As the rain soaks in my skin, I remember our love and realize how stupid I am for hurting you. I'm sorry.". 2. "You're the only person I can tell all my secrets to, the first person I want to talk to when I wake up, and ...
Not long later, Dr. W emailed me to apologize. His wife had been very sick in the hospital, he admitted, saying he'd lost a whole year. Afraid she wouldn't recover, he wasn't able to ...
Long Essay Proposal 10% Session 11: 11:59 pm, Monday 14 October Long Essay 30% Exam week: 11:59 pm, Tue 12 November Weekly Reading Quiz 10% 11:59pm, Mon Weekly ... We engage with contemporary debates about 'reconciliation' ranging from the 'Apology' to constitutional recognition. We focus on the Uluru Statement from the Heart, developed ...
The harrowing wildfires paired with a fierce hurricane wasn't just a tragedy. It felt like Goddess Papahānaumoku—Earth Mother, herself—raging at humanity's hubris.
The secretary of state, Brad Raffensperger, has spent $500,000 defending himself in court. He says the plaintiff will only settle if he effectively endorses a debunked conspiracy theory about the ...
Breaking made its debut as an Olympic sport Friday, and among the competitors was Dr. Rachael Gunn, also known as B-girl Raygun, a 36-year-old professor from Sydney, Australia, who stood out in ...
Ms. Smarsh is a journalist and the author of the forthcoming book "Bone of the Bone: Essays on America by a Daughter of the Working Class." Sometimes on our farm a nice car would roll up the ...