long essay apology

APOLOGY LETTER TOOL KIT SAMPLE LETTERS OF APOLOGY FOR YOU TO USE

Our apology letter tool kit is THE place to find free samples and examples of apology letters for almost every personal and business situation.

So if you need to say sorry, you've come to the right place!

While our main website has several apology letter templates, they may be too complicated for some people. They’re more suitable for serious infractions and situations and require a little more effort to customize them to make them fit your specific situation.

The apology letters you'll find in our tool kit below are much easier to use. You can simply copy & paste them and use the placeholders to personalize them to your liking in no time!

Personal Apology Tool Kit Letters

• Addiction Apology Letter
• Apology for Sexual Harassment
• Apology for Email Sent by Mistake (Friend)
• Apology Letter for Lying
• Sorry Letter for Best Friend
• Apology Letter to Best Friend
• Apology Letter to a Friend or Acquaintance
• Emotional Sorry Letter for Boyfriend
• Emotional Sorry Letter for Girlfriend
• Apology for Late Response
• Apology for Verbal Abuse

Love & Marriage Tool Kit Letters

• A Wife Apology Letter
• Beautiful Apology Letter To Wife
• Apology Letter To A Lover
• 4 Apology Letters for Being Jealous

Business Related Tool Kit Letters

• Apology Letter to Team Members
• Apology Letter to Hotel Guest
• Apology Letter for A Company Mistake
• Apology Letter for Technical Issues
• Apology Letter for Not Coming To Work
• Email Sent by Mistake: Apology for Business Relationships
• Apology Letter for Misrepresentation
• Letter of Apology to Customer
• Customer Apology Email
• Proactive Apology Email to Customer
• Business Apology Letter to Customer
• Customer Apology Letter for Inconvenience
• Apology for Bad Customer Service
• Apology for Delayed Response

Apologies Directed to People of Authority

• Apology Letter To Landlord, Saying Sorry to A Landlord
• Apology Letter To Supervisor for Absence
• Apology Letter to Principal
• Apology Letter to a Teacher from a Student
• Apology Letter to a Teacher from a Parent
• Apology Letter to a Substitute Teacher
• Sorry Letter for a Teacher | 4 Examples
• Apology Letter to the Court
• Apology Letter to a Police Officer

Example Apology Letters, Guides and Samples

Feeling like a bonehead write your apology with carefully-chosen words., choose a topic to view example apology letters:, more apology letters, recommended apology letter articles.

How to Apologize to a Friend

Writing an Apology Letter: What You Need to Know

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How to Write an Impressive Apology Letter

By Millie Dinsdale

“I said something I wish I hadn’t.”

“I really messed up.”

“I upset someone and I regret it.”

Humans are not perfect. We make mistakes—but we can also own up to those mistakes to atone for them.

That’s where an apology letter comes in.

Writing an apology letter shows that you recognize your mistake and allows you to ask for forgiveness.

Asking for forgiveness is a difficult but inevitable part of life. But how do you do it? We will break down how to write an effective apology letter in this post.

What Is an Apology Letter?

What should you include in an apology letter, what are the different types of apology letter, how do you write a business apology letter, how do you write a third-party apology, how do you write a mass apology letter, how do you write a personal apology letter.

At its most basic, an apology letter is a letter which says sorry.

But it’s not that simple. Often saying sorry is not enough.

Sorry is not a catch-all phrase for any mistake. If you accidentally spill someone’s drink, sorry is a perfectly acceptable response (you might also buy them a replacement!). But if you inadvertently cause someone to lose their job, the word sorry is not enough.

In this case you’ll probably need to apologize, own up to your mistake, suggest a solution, and only then ask for forgiveness. Writing an apology letter is a good opportunity to cover that content.

Before we look at the different types of letters, there are a few things that you should do in each one.

1) Acknowledge Your Mistake

You should start every letter by explaining why you’re writing. An apology letter is no different.

By acknowledging your mistake, you can both own up to your error and inform the reader what the letter is about.

Acknowledging your mistake will let the reader know that you are sincere and that you are seeking forgiveness. It is important to acknowledge your mistake straight away—by not doing so, you can annoy the other person and make the situation worse.

For example, if you broke your friend’s favorite mug at work, you should go straight to them and explain your mistake instead of squirreling it back into the cupboard for them to find later.

2) Apologize for Your Mistake

Now that you have stated your mistake it is time to apologize. Although sorry sums up what you are trying to say, it is sometimes better to be more specific.

Explain why you are sorry and acknowledge any negative outcomes from your mistake.

For example: if you accidentally lost an important document, acknowledge the extra work the person had to do and the stress that this loss must have caused.

Taking full responsibility is the best way to approach an apology, so try not to shift the blame onto anyone or anything else.

It is also best to avoid excuses if you can. Excuses can aggravate the situation and detract from your apology.

3) Share Your Plan to Resolve the Issue

It is all well and good to apologize, but what can you do to improve the situation? Let’s look at our previous example. Although there is nothing you can do about the lost document, you can promise that it will not happen again.

To convince your reader that your promise is not just empty words, you could present an action plan, like this:

I will create a physical backup folder for all documents in the future.

In addition to this, I will save all documents to an independent hard drive which I will leave at work. This means that they will stay safe, even if I lose my laptop.

4) Ask for Forgiveness

Asking for forgiveness is very important because it hands control of the situation over to the reader.

It also acknowledges that there are pieces of the relationship which need to be repaired. If you wanted to, you could take the opportunity to invite your reader to suggest their own solution before they forgive you.

This will help the person to feel like their opinions have been heard. It will also help you to understand the effect that the mistake had upon them.

For example:

I want to ask for forgiveness for my error. Are there any further steps I can take to ensure that this never happens again? I hope we can resolve this and continue to work together.

There are four main types of apology letter:

Business Apology Letter

Third-Party Apology Letter

Mass Apology Letter

Personal Apology Letter

Each category has multiple usages.

For example, if you needed to write to your neighbor due to a disagreement, that would be a personal apology letter.

If you were writing to your boss after making a mistake, this apology letter would fall under the business category .

A business apology letter could be addressed to a client, a partner, a supplier, another firm, a partnered retailer, or stakeholders.

A business apology letter should be:

Be clear about the purpose of the e-mail and do not skirt around the point. Avoid any vague language as it will undermine the purpose of the letter.

Straight to the point

Business professionals receive multiple e-mails a day. If you waste their time with unnecessary words you may annoy them further rather than placate them.

Professional

Match the professional tone normally adopted by your company or business sector. If you are unsure what language to use, err on the side of caution. It is far better to be too formal than not formal enough.

Focused on a solution

Instead of focusing your e-mail on the problem, focus on the proposed solution which will put a positive twist on the letter without ignoring the issue.

As a result your business will be presented in a better light and you will have a higher chance of repairing your professional relationship.

Dear [insert customer name], We’re sorry we weren’t able to deliver your product on time. COVID-19 has caused a significant impact to our supply chain and has made restocking difficult. We understand your frustration and we are doing all we can to prevent any future incidences of this kind. While this does not make up for any inconvenience caused, we would like to offer you a 20% discount on your next order Please let me know if you have any other concerns or questions. Sincerely, [Name], [Title]

When Should You Write a Business Apology Letter?

You could address a business apology letter to a colleague, a boss, a customer, a supplier, or anyone else related to your place of business.

Here are a few examples of situations where a letter of apology might be needed:

If you have a problem with your supply chain and need to delay a delivery.

If you forgot an important meeting and arrived unprepared.

If you had to take a day off at the last minute meaning that a colleague has to take up extra work.

A third-party apology letter is one in which the writer is apologizing on behalf of someone else , such as a letter from a manager to a customer on behalf of an employee who behaved rudely.

A third-party apology letter should be:

Clearly directed

In the first line, let the recipient know who is writing and on behalf of whom. Explain why you are writing, and not the guilty party.

This may sound obvious but third-party apology letters need to be handled very carefully. Not only do you need to apologize for the actions of the perpetrator, you also need to apologize that the letter is not coming from them and likely apologize for your part in the situation, even unintentionally.

The recipient is not frustrated with you personally, so try to build and maintain a relationship with them. Treat the letter as an olive branch and take full advantage of the fact that you can shift blame.

Example of a third-party apology:

Dear [insert name], We’re Chad’s parents, and we would like to apologize for Chad’s behaviour yesterday which resulted in Jen being bitten. We fully intend on having Chad apologize to Jen himself, but as his parents we wanted to add some context to the situation and also say we’re sorry as well. Chad often gets overstimulated, and we think that might have caused yesterday’s tragedy. He looks forward to his playdates with Jen, which leads us to believe that this is a one-off incidence. Nonetheless, his behavior is unacceptable and we have given him a strong talking to on why what he did was wrong. He has also been grounded, and will write an apology letter to Jen. Once again, we are truly sorry for any distress this may have caused. Yours sincerely, Bod and Sharon (Chad’s parents)

When Would You Require a Third-Party Apology Letter?

A third-party apology letter is required in one of two cases:

• If the person at fault is unable to write an apology themselves.
• If it is inappropriate for the person at fault to write the letter and it would be better for someone else to write it.

Examples of this second type are:

If a customer at a restaurant was abusive to another customer, the manager may wish to write an apology on behalf of the restaurant.

If a child bit another child at preschool the parent may wish to write an apology to the other parent.

If a dog was noisy and kept waking up next door’s baby, the owner may wish to write an apology to the parents.

A mass apology letter is one in which many people have been affected by a single issue. A mass apology letter should be:

Many people will need to read this letter so it should get to the point as quickly as possible. Make a sincere apology, and then say how you will fix the situation.

Use basic terminology and grammar to ensure that everyone can understand the meaning. You can use ProWritingAid’s Readability Report to identify any hard-to-read paragraphs. To achieve this, you should aim for a reading level that is suitable for a 5th grader or below.

Try the Readability Report with a free ProWritingAid account.

When Would You Require a Mass Apology Letter?

Mass apology letters are usually written by someone with responsibility for the care or experiences of a large group of people. It's important to strike the right tone so that you can maintain your authority and trust with the recipients.

Here are some instances in which you might need a mass apology letter.

To consumers if one of your products needs to be recalled after an issue was detected.

To residents if there was an avoidable power cut in your housing stock.

To parents if students were given the wrong information about upcoming exams.

Example of a mass apology letter:

Dear People of Townsville, On Friday, November 19, 2021 the city of Townsville was without electricity for four hours as a result of an overloading of the city’s grid. This was not scheduled, and therefore required an emergency response. We understand how difficult this must have been for you the citizens, particularly the business owners. We’d like to offer our sincerest apologies for the inconvenience caused, as well as any disruptions. We take incidents like this very seriously, and our team is already refining our maintenance schedules in order to avoid similar events in the future. We remain committed to ensuring that we sustain the high standard of service delivery that we hope you expect from us. Best, The Team at ABC Electrical

If you are writing your apology letter to friends, family, neighbors, relatives, acquaintances, or even strangers, and if it doesn’t serve or include a commercial purpose, you’re writing a personal apology letter.

A personal apology letter should be:

Conversational : Keep the tone informal to avoid sounding pompous and false. Make a direct apology to the recipient without hiding behind complex language.

Full of remorse : Unlike in the previous example, it is advised that you express your own emotions about the situation. It is important that the recipient believes you are truly sorry.

Focused on the relationship : The most important thing is to limit the damage that your mistake causes to your personal relationship with the person so make it clear that you care.

When Would You Require a Personal Apology Letter?

A personal apology letter is probably the most versatile type on this list. Almost any apology that is not directly related to your work will require this form of apology.

Examples of when this type of apology might be appropriate are:

When you broke your mom’s favorite ornament with a bouncy ball.

If you lost your friend’s guinea pig whilst looking after it.

If you crashed into your neighbor’s garden wall and damaged it.

Example of a personal apology letter:

Dear Mrs. Steel, I’m really sorry for running over your garden gnomes the other day. My dad was teaching me to drive and I mistakenly touched reverse instead of forward. I’d be happy to replace them, though that may not happen immediately. I’ve taken a summer job at the mall and I’m committed to saving every penny so I can buy them back. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. Best, Ash

Should You Write a Letter, Text, or Call to Apologize?

When it comes to business, third-party, and mass apologies, letters and e-mails are the only way of doing things professionally.

A personal apology may feel stilted or unnatural as a letter and may be better delivered by text, phone call, or even in person. It totally depends on the situation and your relationship with that person.

The way that an apology is delivered is just as important as the content of it, so give this question some thought.

However as a general rule:

E-mail or letter :

If you are only acquaintances or if there is a large age gap between you and the other person. For example , if a 14-year-old cycled over her 67-year-old neighbor’s flowers, an e-mail or letter apology would be best.

If the mistake was minor and you are friends with the person or a similar age. For example , a student accidentally smashed another student’s mug.

If the mistake was bigger and you are friends with the person. This can also be a good option for family members when you cannot see them in person. For example , someone forgot their grandma’s birthday and the card arrived late.

In person :

If the mistake was major and it is a friend or family member that you can reasonably visit. For example , someone had a big argument with their best friend and realized afterwards that they were totally out of line.

I sincerely apologize that I can’t write your letter for you. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t help. You can always revisit this article if you need a refresher.

Take your writing to the next level:

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Millie Dinsdale

Millie is ProWritingAid’s Content Manager. As an English Literature graduate, she loves all things books and writing. When she isn’t working, Millie enjoys adding to her vast indoor plant collection, dancing, re-reading books by Daphne Du Maurier, and running.

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9 Inspiring Examples – How to Write a Thoughtful Apology Letter

By Status.net Editorial Team on October 13, 2023 — 14 minutes to read

• Understanding Apology Letters Part 1
• Components of an Effective Apology Letter Part 2
• Professional Apology Letter Template Part 3
• Business Apology Letter Template Part 4
• Professional Apology Letter Template (Workplace Mistake) Part 5
• Apologizing to Your Manager: A Professional Email Example Part 6
• Coping with Customer Complaints: Apology Email Example Part 7
• Offering Compensation: Example Part 8
• Delivering a Third-Party Apology: Example Part 9
• A Formal and Sincere Apology Template with Example Part 10
• Writing a Personal Apology Letter Part 11
• Personal Apology Letter Template Part 12

Part 1 Understanding Apology Letters

Why apology letters matter.

Apology letters hold significant importance because they help mend relationships and restore trust. When you make a mistake or hurt someone’s feelings, sending a sincere apology letter demonstrates that you genuinely regret your actions and wish to make amends. Having a well-written apology letter can improve the chances of forgiveness, reduce tension, and pave the way for an improved relationship.

The Art of Apologizing

Mastering the art of apologizing is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships.

• The first step in writing an effective apology letter is acknowledging your mistake. Be honest about what you did wrong and take responsibility for your actions. It shows that you recognize the impact your mistake had on the other person and their emotions.
• Next, express your remorse and convey that you are truly sorry for your actions. It’s important to ensure your apology comes across as genuine; insincere apologies can often make matters worse. Focus on the feelings of the person you hurt, letting them know you understand their emotions and the consequences of your actions.
• Finally, offer a solution or ways to make amends. This could include making changes in your behavior, rectifying the issue you caused, or offering support to the affected person. Commit to taking steps to prevent a similar situation from happening again in the future.

When you follow these guidelines for writing an apology letter, you have a better chance at being forgiven and strengthening the bonds with those you care about.

Part 2 Components of an Effective Apology Letter

Writing an apology letter can be a thoughtful way to express your remorse and show that you truly wish to make amends. There are specific components that can make your letter more effective and genuine. These elements include:

Step 1. Acknowledging Your Mistake

When addressing a mistake, it’s important to be upfront and take responsibility for your actions. Clearly describe the wrongdoing and try not to make excuses, as this demonstrates your sincerity. For example:

“I apologize for missing our appointment yesterday. I understand I caused you inconvenience, and I should have managed my time better.”

Step 2. Expressing Regret

In addition to acknowledging your mistake, express your regret or remorse for the situation. This is a critical part of the apology, as it shows that you empathize with the feelings or difficulties your actions may have caused to the other party. For example:

“I’m truly sorry for any trouble I’ve caused you. I realize that my actions have led to disappointment and frustration on your end, and I wish I could take them back.”

Step 3. Offering A Solution

Finally, it’s important to provide a solution or a plan to rectify the mistake. This demonstrates that you are willing to take steps to ensure it doesn’t happen again and helps in rebuilding trust. Be specific about what you can do, but also be realistic with your commitments. For example:

“To make it up to you, I would like to reschedule our appointment at a time that’s convenient for you. I will work on improving my time management to prevent similar situations in the future.”

Keep these components in mind when crafting an apology letter, and your message will come across as sincere and heartfelt.

Templates and Examples of Apology Letters

Part 3 professional apology letter template.

When addressing a workplace issue, ensure that your professional apology letter remains respectful and follows a formal tone. Accept responsibility and outline your plans to rectify the situation:

Dear [Recipient’s Name],

I am writing to apologize for [the mistake or action that caused the offense]. It was my responsibility to [prevent the mistake], and I acknowledge the negative impact it had on you and our team.

I take this matter seriously and am taking the necessary steps to correct the issue. [Include steps you are planning to take or have taken.] I am confident that we can learn from this experience and prevent similar occurrences in the future.

Please accept my sincerest apologies, and if there is anything further I can do to make this right, please do not hesitate to let me know.

[Your Name]

Part 4 Business Apology Letter Template

When extending apologies to customers or clients on behalf of your company, use a polite and sincere tone. Address the issue directly and briefly mention any steps you are taking to rectify the situation:

We would like to express our deepest apologies for [the mistake or action that caused the offense]. At [Your Company Name], we pride ourselves on [company values], and this incident is not reflective of our commitment to providing exceptional customer service.

In response to this situation, we have taken the following steps to rectify the issue: [include steps taken or planned to prevent similar incidents]. We believe these measures will help improve our service quality in the future.

Again, we apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused and appreciate your understanding. If you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to contact us.

[Your Name] [Your Position in Company]

Part 5 Professional Apology Letter Template (Workplace Mistake)

Dealing with workplace mistakes.

Mistakes at work happen, and when you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, it’s important to address the issue promptly. A professional apology letter is a great way to express your regret and take ownership of your mistake. Start by acknowledging your mistake and be specific about the incident. Next, express your regret and take responsibility for the consequences of your actions. Make sure to offer solutions and steps to prevent similar mistakes in the future:

I am writing to express my sincere apologies for the mistake that I made [insert specific incident]. It was an error on my part, and I take full responsibility for it.

I understand that my mistake has caused inconvenience and frustration, and I am truly sorry for any negative impact it may have had. I want to assure you that I am committed to making things right and preventing similar mistakes from happening in the future.

To rectify the situation, I have [insert solution or action you are taking]. I am also willing to work with you and the team to ensure that we are all on the same page and that we can move forward together.

Again, please accept my apologies for any trouble caused. I value our working relationship and hope that we can continue to work together positively in the future.

Sincerely, [Your Name]

Part 6 Apologizing to Your Manager: A Professional Email Example

Apologizing to your manager.

When apologizing to your manager, be sincere and direct. Begin your letter with a clear statement of your intention to apologize, and acknowledge the issue that occurred. Remember to express your regret sincerely, and outline the actions you’re taking to rectify the situation:

Dear [Manager’s Name],

I am writing to acknowledge my recent actions [or insert specific incident] and the impact they may have had on the project and the company. I take full responsibility for my actions and understand the importance of rectifying the situation and preventing similar incidents from happening in the future.

To address the issue, I am taking [insert solution or action you are taking]. I am also open to working with you and the team to ensure that we are all aligned and moving forward together.

Thank you for your understanding and for the opportunity to learn from this experience.

Part 7 Coping with Customer Complaints: Apology Email Example

When dealing with customer complaints, it’s vital to address the situation promptly and professionally. Start by acknowledging what happened and offer a sincere apology. Make sure to show empathy and understanding towards the customer’s experience:

Dear [Customer’s Name],

We apologize for the inconvenience you experienced with our service. We understand how frustrating this must have been for you, and we’re committed to making it right.

Then, outline the steps you’ve taken or plan to take to resolve the issue. This will demonstrate your commitment to customer satisfaction and reinforce trust in your business:

We’ve investigated the situation and discovered that [explanation of problem]. To prevent this from happening in the future, we will [steps to improve the issue].

Part 8 Offering Compensation: Example

In certain cases, offering compensation may be necessary to make amends and restore customer goodwill. Consider the severity and impact of the issue when deciding whether compensation is warranted. If you choose to offer compensation, be specific about what you’re offering and how the customer can claim it. For example:

As a token of our apology, we’d like to offer you [compensation, such as a refund, discount, or free service]. To claim this compensation, please [instructions to claim the compensation].

Remember that compensation is not always monetary; sometimes, a simple gesture like providing a free upgrade or extending a warranty can go a long way in demonstrating your willingness to make it right.

Part 9 Delivering a Third-Party Apology: Example

There may be situations where your business must apologize on behalf of a third party, such as a vendor or partner. In these cases, it’s still important to address the issue and apologize to the affected customers. Acknowledge the role your business played in the situation, and explain the steps you’re taking to prevent it from happening again:

We apologize for the [issue caused by the third party], which we recognize has impacted your experience with our business. While this issue was beyond our direct control, we understand that we are accountable for the partners we choose, and we promise to improve our supplier selection process.

Following these guidelines, your business apology letter will set the foundation for rebuilding trust with your customers and maintaining a positive reputation for your company.

Part 10 A Formal and Sincere Apology Template with Example

_______________________________

[1. Acknowledge the mistake and provide a sincere expression of regret] [2. Explain the situation, avoiding excuses or blame] [3. Discuss steps you’re taking to address the issue/resolution] [4. Offer a solution, amends, or compensation if appropriate] [5. Close with your commitment to prevent a recurrence of the issue]

“Dear Mr. Johnson,

I am writing to apologize for the delay in delivering the project report that was due last week. I understand that this delay has caused inconvenience to you and your team, and I take full responsibility for it.

I want to assure you that this delay was not intentional, and I deeply regret any negative impact it may have had on your business. The delay was due to unforeseen circumstances that were beyond my control, but I understand that this does not excuse the situation.

Moving forward, I am taking steps to ensure that this does not happen again in the future. I have put in place a new system that will allow me to better manage my workload and ensure that deadlines are met on time.

If there is anything else that I can do to make up for the inconvenience caused, please let me know. I am committed to doing everything in my power to make things right.

Once again, I apologize for any inconvenience caused, and I appreciate your understanding and patience.

John Doe”

Part 11 Writing a Personal Apology Letter

In this section, we’ll focus on crafting the perfect personal apology letter.

Apologizing to Family

When apologizing to a family member, sincerity is key. Start by acknowledging the wrongdoing and express remorse for your actions. You can start with something simple like, “I realize that I hurt you when I [specific action], and I’m truly sorry for that.”

Next, take responsibility for your actions. Admitting your mistake demonstrates maturity and a genuine desire to make amends. For example, “It was thoughtless of me to [specific action], and I understand how it affected you.”

Offer a solution or a concrete way to make amends. This step shows you’re committed to improving your relationship. You could say, “I promise to be more mindful of your feelings in the future, and I hope we can work together to rebuild our relationship.”

Be open and willing to listen to their feelings and concerns. This will help you better understand their perspective and take any necessary steps to rebuild trust.

Writing an Apology Letter to a Friend

When apologizing to a friend, you’ll want to keep the same principles in mind. Begin by acknowledging the hurt you caused them and express genuine remorse. Use specific examples where you can, such as, “I know I let you down when I didn’t show up to your birthday party, and I’m truly sorry for that.”

Take responsibility for your actions and any wrongdoing on your part. An example might be, “I should have planned better and made your celebration a priority, instead of allowing other things to get in the way.”

If applicable, offer a solution or a way to make it right: “I’d love to take you out for a special meal to celebrate your belated birthday and make up for not being there.”

Be ready to listen to your friend’s feelings and concerns, and make an effort to rebuild trust through your words and actions.

Part 12 Personal Apology Letter Template

A personal apology letter works best when you want to express regret towards a friend or family member for something you did. Keep it concise, genuine, and focus on your feelings during the apology.

I am truly sorry for [the mistake or action that caused the offense]. It was not my intention to [cause the negative impact]. I understand how it made you feel, and I want you to know that your feelings are important to me.

I take full responsibility for my actions and will do everything in my power to make it right. [Include possible solutions or ways to make amends, if applicable.]

In the future, I promise to be more mindful of my actions and consider how they will affect you. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

Frequently Asked Questions

What should be included in an apology letter to a customer.

When writing an apology letter to a customer, you should first acknowledge the issue and express your sincere regret. Apologize for any inconvenience or disappointment the customer may have experienced. It’s also important to take responsibility for the situation and explain the steps you will take to rectify it. Offer a solution or compensation if appropriate, and close by expressing your commitment to providing excellent customer service in the future.

How can I craft a heartfelt apology letter to a teacher?

To write a heartfelt apology letter to a teacher, start by acknowledging your mistake and expressing genuine remorse for your actions. Explain why your behavior was wrong and what you’ve learned from the experience. You should also describe how you plan to improve and avoid making the same mistake in the future. Be specific, sincere, and respectful throughout the letter, and show genuine gratitude for the teacher’s dedication and understanding.

What are the key elements of an apology letter to a friend?

The key elements of an apology letter to a friend include acknowledging the wrongdoing, expressing genuine remorse, and offering amends or a solution. It’s also important to consider the feelings of your friend and empathize with their perspective. Demonstrate that you understand the impact of your actions on your friendship and express your desire to rebuild trust and strengthen your bond. Close the letter by expressing your appreciation for their friendship and your hope for reconciliation.

How can I make a convincing apology letter to a family member?

To craft a convincing apology letter to a family member, begin by acknowledging the mistake you made and expressing sincere regret. Be specific about what happened and how it affected your relationship. Show empathy for your family member’s feelings and express understanding for the hurt you’ve caused. Offer a solution or plan for addressing the issue and discuss how you’ll prevent it from happening again. Finally, reiterate your love and commitment to your family member and express your hope for moving forward together.

What are some tips for writing an apology letter to my boss?

When writing an apology letter to your boss, it’s important to be professional, respectful, and straightforward. Acknowledge your mistake and express genuine remorse. Be concise in your explanation, focusing on the impact of your actions and the steps you will take to correct the situation. Offer solutions or potential ways to rectify the issue and demonstrate your commitment to improving your performance. Lastly, express your gratitude for the opportunity to learn from the experience and your dedication to your job.

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• How to Apologize >
• How to Write An Apology Letter

How To Write An Apology Letter

Learning how to write an apology letter is a valuable skill that can mend personal relationships, correct missteps, and bring harmony to various aspects of your life.

Yet somehow expressing remorse effectively can be a daunting task. Fear not! We've got you covered whether you've stepped on toes, made a blunder or really messed up. We’ll demystify the art of writing an apology letter in a few easy steps.

On this page you'll find a template outlining the four essential elements of a sincere, heartfelt and effective apology letter.

We also include sample openings and closings, Dos and Don'ts, and a bunch of frequently asked questions.

The Anatomy of An Apology Letter

→   THE CONTENT: WHAT TO SAY Crafting a sincere apology involves primarily knowing the right words. Our letter template, complete with sample blurbs, guides you in constructing a well-phrased apology.

→   FORMAT, STYLE & DELIVERY: HOW TO SAY IT The way you deliver your apology matters. Formal typed letters work well in professional settings or when you want to show respect, while handwritten letters and notes add a personal touch.

Learn more about apology letter formats or if time is of the essence check out our Apology Letter Toolkit ⇗ for easy to copy & paste sample apologies.

Template: The 4 Key Components of An Apology Letter

1.   apologize and provide a detailed account.

Begin your letter by acknowledging the wrongdoing, apologizing, and offering a detailed account of the incident. It's important that the recipient knows that you clearly understand what happened and where you went wrong.

For instance,

Dear______________, I'd like to apologize for my words and actions on Wednesday at the club. I should have been more supportive of both you and your ideas when you presented them. As the newest member of our group, I noticed your uncertainty and unfortunately used it to undermine your confidence. You were clearly well-prepared, yet I dismissed your ideas prematurely without allowing you to fully explain them.

2.   Acknowledge the Hurt and Take Responsibility

The main body of your letter should focus on acknowledging the pain caused and taking full responsibility. Convey empathy to show the recipient that you understand their perspective and accept accountability for your words and actions.

Here’s how you might express it:

I could see the hurt in your eyes, and yet I persisted in my criticism. I unfairly cast you in a negative light in front of our friends and other members, which was entirely unwarranted. My intention was never to embarrass and hurt you or make everyone uncomfortable. I sincerely apologize—it was never my intention. The truth is, work stress and a bad mood got the best of me, and I unfairly directed it at you. There's no excuse for my behavior, and I truly regret it.

3.   Express Regret and Ask for Forgiveness

Genuine regret is essential. Explicitly ask for forgiveness, empowering the recipient to decide the fate of the relationship.

For example:

I regret how I acted and every word I uttered. I feel terrible about bringing my work stress and family tension to the club that day and releasing it all on you. It had nothing to do with you, your ideas, or your ability. Please forgive me.

4.   Make a Promise for Change

Close the letter by assuring the recipient that such actions won’t happen again. Without promising and changing your future behavior, apologies lose their impact. Consider offering restitution (if possible) and inquire if there’s anything else you can do to make things right:

I respect you too much and cherish our friendship to let this happen again. Moving forward, if I ever feel that type of stress or find myself in a bad mood, I'll distance myself from those I care about until the feelings pass. Meanwhile, I've spoken to everyone who attended last Wednesday about my behavior. I've also encouraged them to give you the floor next time we meet if you're up for it. If there's anything else I can do, please let me know. Over time, I hope you'll learn to trust me again, knowing that I'm always on your side. Yours sincerely,

Summary: Writing An Apology Letter

Sample openings: how to start an apology letter.

A sincere and personalized opening sets the tone for the apology.

The hardest part of writing an apology letter is often just getting started so we've included a few more examples of openings from some of the best apology letters submitted by our website visitors.

Hopefully these openings provide a starting point and demonstrate the diversity of sincere expression.

I'm truly sorry for mistrusting you. I don't know how to express my sincere apologies for the pain caused and the tears shed because of me.

To the love of my life... Please accept this heartfelt apology. If I had the ability to turn back time and take back everything that happened I would do it in a flash and never think that what we have, and had, could never be taken away by my selfish acts or my demeanor.

I know no amount words could express how truly sorry I am and how much regret I feel. I do not know how I could have been so foolish and for so long. I was blind and let my ego and pride get the best of me.

I'm truly sorry. I know you probably hate me right now and I don't blame you. I still have not forgiven myself and I don't think I ever will for acting how I did the last time we spoke.

Dear Kim...I've been really worried about writing. I know you’ve asked me not to. I will always respect your wishes. But for my sanity please let me apologize without my emotions doing all the talking this time.

Get more detailed information on the content of an apology letter on our page how to apologize .

Sample Closings: How to End an Apology Letter

Reiterate the desire to make amends and reassure the recipient. Use closing statements that reinforce your commitment to change and signal a genuine effort to mend the relationship.

Let them know that you're trying to fix things and that you're open to any ideas they may have on how to remedy the situation.

Below are examples and suggestions for what to include before the final closing (e.g. Sincerely, Respectfully, etc.)

Please know that I have done everything I can think of to make sure this never happens again. I deeply regret it happened at all. You are very important to me and I am willing to do whatever it takes to correct things. If there is anything I can do to regain your trust, please let me know. I am truly sorry and humbly ask for your forgiveness...

I promise you that it won't happen again. It's important to me that I regain your trust and we're able to rely on each other in the future as we always have in the past. If there is anything else that I can do, just let me know...

I'm embarrassed by both my actions and words. I can't take back those words or pretend the whole incident never happened. It happened. So, if there is anything I can do to make you feel better, please let me know. I cherish our relationship and friendship more than you can imagine and am devastated at the thought of losing either. I promise you that I will never act or speak in that way ever again, you are too important to me...

Standard letter closings like 'Yours Truly' can be easily applied to apology letters. However, we like 'Sincerely' or 'Yours Sincerely' when it comes to apologies in general because they help reinforce the message.

'Respectfully' and 'Yours Respectfully' are particularly good for when we've been disrespectful or apologizing to an authority figure be it parent, teacher, boss etc.

Dos & Don'ts: How to Write An Apology Letter

Follow the tips below to ensure your apology is genuine and well-received.

✔ Do... Write clearly and accurately. Be honest and show true sincerity.

✔ Do... Let them know that you understand why they are hurt and angry.

✔ Do... Make sure your apology letter describes why and how much the person was injured by your actions. Saying 'I know you were hurt' is not the same as saying 'I know how insulted and angry you were because of...'.

✔ Do... Request forgiveness but don't expect or demand it.

✔ Do... Let them know that you appreciate the role they play in your life and why the apology is so important—whether or not they accept it.

X Don't... Use qualifiers like 'if' or 'but' anywhere in your apology. 'I'm sorry if I hurt you' and 'I apologize but I was in a bad mood that day' sounds like you're making excuses or trying to justify things.

X Don't... Try to evoke sympathy as part of your apology.

X Don't... Share blame, you need to take full responsibility.

Sample Letters of a Written Apology

DUI Apology Letter Apologizing to a judge or employer is often a part of being charged.

Apology Letter to a Teacher Learn how to write an apology letter to a teacher or professor.

An Alcoholic's Apology Letter A sincere heartfelt apology to those you hurt is part of getting sober.

Apology Letter for Child's Behavior Apologizing to the Principal sometimes comes with parenting.

An Apology Letter to my Parents Saying sorry to your parents is never easy but always worthwhile.

Letter of Apology for Delay Delays are inevitable and often have implications that need to considered.

Apology Letter to a Patient Because common mistakes are made even within the healthcare industry.

Apology Letter Formats for Maximum Impact

Consider the format, tone, and delivery method to maximize the effectiveness when writing an apology letter.

Match your tone to the situation, choose words that feel genuine, consider the best way to deliver it—whether in writing or face-to-face, and then decide on the format of your letter which can be very important in making your apology effective. Send your apology promptly.

Keep the communication going after the apology, and make your letter visually appealing for a lasting impact. The true art of a sincere apology lies in blending heartfelt content with strategic formatting for a persuasive and genuine expression of remorse.

Traditional Apology Letters to Digital. What Now?

Having covered the essentials of how to write an apology letter, you might be wondering if the same principles apply to apology emails.

Wonder no more—we've got you covered with expert insights on how to write an effective apology email . So let's dive into the nuances of expressing regret through digital communication.

Apology Letter FAQ [Frequently Asked Questions]

Our apology letter FAQs are designed to help eliminate some of the barriers we all face when we sit down and write out an apology.

One of the primary obstacles is often a reluctance to admit that we're to blame for the situation. To state clearly and unequivocally that it was our fault.

And, by putting pen to paper and writing the words 'I was wrong. I'm sorry and I apologize' , gives it a sense of permanence and causes us to feel vulnerable.

It's that vulnerability that is the most scary for many of us. So much is at stake when it comes to our relationships. Our minds begin to reel.

What are the benefits of writing an apology letter?

An apology letter gives you time to think about what you're writing and gives the recipient time to think about your apology before responding.

On the other hand, verbal apologies require you to think on your feet, be prepared for the recipient's reaction (negative or positive) and ready for the conversation that follows.

Does 'I apologize' & 'I'm sorry' mean the same thing?

Many people are surprised to hear that 'I apologize' and 'I'm sorry' don't mean the same thing and are not directly interchangeable. Writing 'I'm sorry' expresses a level of regret or remorse . It says to the recipient that you feel badly about what happened—that is has affected you emotionally.

'I apologize' is simply a statement of admission. You're admitting that you were at fault but you are NOT stating that you are sorry about it.

In most cases we recommend including both statements in an apology letter.

How do I write an apology letter?

Open your letter by apologizing. Say you're sorry and describe what happened. In the main body of the letter communicate your understanding of the hurt you caused and your regret. Ask for forgiveness, express a desire to fix the situation and promise that it won't happen. Finally, explain why the relationship is important to you.

Read our article on how to write an apology letter for more detailed instructions, a template letter, Dos & Don'ts, and more...

How do I format an apology letter?

There are many things to take into account when looking at how to format an apology letter. The predominant considerations are length and style.

In most cases, when all the elements of a sincere apology are included, the severity of the offence you're apologizing for will naturally determine its length.

In terms of style, handwritten apologies are best for personal and intimate relationships. Typewritten, emailed and more formal approaches are best suited for business and non-personal relationships (e.g. teacher, club member, shop owner etc.).

Learn more about apology letter formats .

What are the best practices for an apology letter?

Write from the heart. Being honest and sincere are critical to an effective apology. Use direct statements that can only be taken at face value.... I'm sorry... I was wrong... I apologize.

Be as specific as you can about the mistake, and as clear as you can about your responsibility. Describe why and how much the person was injured by your words or actions. Saying 'I know you were hurt' is not as effective as saying 'I know how furious and insulted you were by ...'

Make amends through actions and not just words and ask for forgiveness but don't demand or expect it.

Read through our complete list of DOs for Apologizing .

What to avoid when writing an apology letter?

Never use qualifiers in your apology letter. Words like if and but always comes off like you're trying to justify your actions. I'm sorry but.... If only...

Don't try to evoke sympathy and avoid expanding on the apology by linking it to ANY other issues in your relationship. Finally, don't share the blame with others or demand a response.

Can I send an apology letter by email?

Email has evolved over time and has become an acceptable form of communication. Emailing an apology letter is perfectly fine however you still need to consider the recipient and the relationship. For example, an elderly person will rightly respond differently to your apology if it's handwritten on a card as opposed to receiving it via email. Even someone younger reacts differently to something they can hold in their hand as opposed to reading something on screen. So be mindful of who the recipient is and take that into consideration. Don't email your apology only because it's easier.

How long should my apology letter be?

As we state above, the length of your apology letter will be determined by the how badly you messed up and the situation. As long as the guidelines of what to include in a proper apology are met, the length of your apology will determine itself.

How should I deliver my apology letter?

There are only a handful of ways to deliver an apology letter. Priority Mail should be used when the transgression is serious and time is of the essence, especially in business.

Regular mail is always appropriate and email is fine if that's the way you normally communicate with the recipient.

Finally, don't forget that an apology letter can also be hand delivered. This is particularly appropriate for close personal relationships. It allows you the time to make sure that you include in writing everything you have to say while being able to say how sorry you are face-to-face.

What makes an apology letter sincere & effective?

Sincerity comes from being honest, specific and direct while providing a detailed account of the entire situation.

This means that you acknowledge the hurt and damage you caused clearly and objectively, and take full responsibility. You apologize for your actions and NOT how they made the recipient feel. You then express your regret, ask for forgiveness, promise it won't happen again and provide a way to make amends without making excuses.

Key Takeways On The Art of Writing An Apology Letter

Mastering the art of writing an apology letter requires a blend of heartfelt content and strategic formatting.

Whether traditional or digital, a sincere and effective apology, whether verbal or by letter is always the first step and can pave the way for healing and rebuilding relationships.

Check out our subdomain and toolkit of apology letters ⇗ . They're all available to copy and paste and are written in a way that makes them easily tailored to your situation.

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Sorry for Writing an Apology Letter

Admitting you’re wrong is hard. But writing an apology letter? Even harder. We’ll show you five easy steps that’ll make the process easier.

Five Steps To Writing an Effective Apology Letter:

• Acknowledge the mistake
• Take responsibility
• Apologize and express regret
• Offer a solution
• Assure that the mistake won’t occur again

Written Apology

Everyone makes mistakes. That’s just a fact of life. Some mistakes hurt people you care about or can cause trouble in a professional setting. A written apology gives you a chance to elaborately express your remorse. It’s perfect for those who have trouble saying what they’re thinking. Below, we’re going to go over five easy steps that’ll help you write the perfect apology letter.

Writing an Apology Letter in Five Steps

1. acknowledge the mistake.

After the greeting, don’t waste any time. Directly state that you’ve realized you’ve made a mistake. Briefly write what the mistake was and what you’re apologizing for, but be careful not to dwell.

2. Take responsibility

Once you’ve acknowledged the mistake, you can explain what happened and take responsibility. In other words, you admit that the mistake was your fault. State that you’ve recognized the impact the mistake has made. Be cautious not to make any excuses!

3. Apologize and express regret

After you’ve taken responsibility and acknowledged the impact of the mistake, apologize. Explain that you’re sorry for what occurred and that you feel remorseful. The most important thing is that you’re sincere.

4. Offer a solution

If the mistake you made had consequences, offer a solution. Explain how you’re going to rectify the problems the mistake brought forth. This shows the reader that you have put a lot of thought into resolving the issue.

5. Assure that it won’t happen again

All these steps lead up to you assuring the reader that you’ve learned from the mistake and that it won’t happen again. This can help rebuild the trust that may have been lost, and it also shows the writer has practiced self-reflection.  

Formal Apology Example

The main difference between a formal apology letter and a personal apology letter is the tone. A formal apology letter is one you may need to write in a professional setting, for example. In these, you’d avoid any personal details. Here’s an example of a formal apology letter:

Dear Mrs. Laroche,

I realize that the mistake I made resulted in a delayed shipment to one of our most important clients. The mistake was no one’s fault but my own. Unfortunately, when I was printing the labels, I did not notice the incorrect address. I sincerely apologize for the careless mistake. I realize that had we lost that client because of that error, it would’ve cost the company a fortune.

With the help of my supervisor, I’ve reached out to the affected client to offer a discount on future purchases. They were appreciative that we reached out to rectify the mistake. I assure you that from here on out, I’ll triple-check all printing labels before sending them out. I appreciate you taking the time to read this letter.

Beth Taylor

Personal Apology Example

If you’re writing an informal apology letting to a loved one, you may add a few details that are more intimate. Here’s an example of a personal apology letter:

Dear Samara,

I’m genuinely sorry I couldn’t make it to your daughter’s first birthday party. As her godmother, I know you expected me to be there not only to help you, but celebrate her. I should’ve known to take an earlier flight in case of delays. I know that she was sad that I was unable to make it and I’m very regretful. Please know that I’ll make it up to you both. I’ve bought us all tickets to visit Disney World together! This time, I’ll make sure to book the flight at least a day in advance to avoid any complications with delayed flights. Thanks for being understanding. I promise it won’t happen again.

The Best Apology Letter

The best apology letter is one in which you:

• Avoid making excuses.
• Don’t blame anyone else.
• Refrain from gaslighting or dismissing their emotions.

Other than that, if you’re writing an apology letter and really want your message to sound sincere, then it’s best to make sure you avoid spelling and grammar errors. LanguageTool can help you say sorry . This multilingual text editor will check for all types of errors to make sure your apology letter (or any other type of writing) is flawless.

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Please login first, writing an apology letter: 15 sample letters & examples for various reasons.

When one has wronged someone, a heartfelt apology letter is an effective way to display genuine regret and attempt reconciliation. In this post, we will provide tips for writing various types of apologies to express sincere remorse and seek forgiveness from the person you have hurt through words or actions.

Key Takeaways

• The art of apologizing involves recognizing mistakes, offering sincere apologies, and providing emotional recovery. 
•  Crafting a heartfelt apology letter requires clear language to express regret, acceptance of responsibility, and empathy for the recipient’s experience. 
•  Apology letters should take into account cultural norms, demonstrate sincerity, and adhere to etiquette guidelines to be effective.

THE ART OF APOLOGIZING: WHY AND HOW

Apology letters are an essential tool for mending broken relationships and restoring bonds. Knowing how to write sincere apology letters is of utmost importance when it comes to customers, so below we outline the key steps you need: Begin by offering a heartfelt apology, acknowledge any mistakes made on your part, explain what led up to the issue without assigning blame or making excuses. 

 State clearly what will be done in order to resolve their situation swiftly, avoiding standard apologies, instead taking personal responsibility for all errors. Writing convincing apology letters can make a big difference in terms of putting things right again with friends or clients alike.

CRAFTING A HEARTFELT APOLOGY LETTER

When writing an apology letter, it is essential to make sure that you take full responsibility and express your regret with concise honesty. Show empathy towards the recipient’s experience, which can help them feel heard and understood. Apologize without any conditions or defending yourself – simply accept what happened and explain how your actions have had a negative impact on your life. 

 Include suggestions of improvements for the future so they know proactive measures are being taken to prevent similar issues from arising again. To ensure authenticity when penning apology letters, here are some tips: be mindful of people’s feelings, say sorry without qualification, and show commitment to making amends by offering ideas. Read aloud before sending (adjusting if necessary), which can help give more insight into whether its words come across as sincere or not.

PERSONAL APOLOGY LETTERS: 5 EXAMPLES

Personal apologies can be a powerful tool in mending relationships and expressing sincere regret . Here are five examples of personal apology letters for various situations, demonstrating how to communicate remorse and a commitment to change effectively. 

  Dear [Friend's Name], 

 I am truly sorry for my actions last night. I let my emotions get the best of me, and I said things I didn't mean. I hope you can forgive me. 

 Dear [Friend's Name], 

 I apologize for not being there for you when you needed me. I realize now how much you rely on my support, and I promise to be there for you in the future. 

 My dearest friend. I am deeply sorry for forgetting your birthday party. I know how important it was to you and I failed to make you feel special on your day. I promise to make it up to you. 

 I apologize for my insensitive comment. I didn't realize how it could hurt you, and I regret my thoughtlessness. I promise to be more mindful of my words in the future. 

 I am sorry for breaking your trust. I understand if you are upset with me, and I am willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild our friendship. I will do better.

PROFESSIONAL APOLOGY LETTERS: 5 EXAMPLES

Professional apologies are great for expressing sincere regret. Here are five examples of professional apology letters for various situations, demonstrating how to communicate remorse and a commitment to change effectively. 

 Dear [Recipient's Name], 

 I apologize for any inconvenience caused by the delay in our shipment. We understand the impact this might have had on your operations and are working diligently to rectify the situation. 

 I'd like to apologize for the error in our recent invoice personally. We value your business and understand the confusion this may have caused. We are correcting the error immediately. 

 I regret to inform you that there was an oversight in our product quality control. We take full responsibility and are taking steps to ensure this will not happen again. 

 Please accept our sincere apologies for the misunderstanding during our last communication. We value your perspective and are committed to improving our contact in the future. 

 I am sorry for the delay in responding to your email. We understand the urgency of your request and are working to provide you with a response as soon as possible.

APOLOGY LETTERS TO GROUPS: 5 EXAMPLES

When offering an apology to a group or several people, it is essential to consider the collective emotions and worries of everyone involved and each recipient’s individual feelings. Thus, you should deeply regret your actions and include this in your letter when apologizing: conveying remorse, recognizing any mistakes made, and committing yourself to changing behavior patterns going forward. 

 Dear [Group's Name], 

 I deeply regret the misunderstanding during our meeting. My comments were not intended to offend, and I sincerely apologize if they did. I value our relationship and will strive for better communication in the future. 

 To All Our Valued Customers, 

 We sincerely apologize for the inconvenience caused by the recent service disruption. We understand the impact of this on your operations and are taking immediate steps to rectify the situation.  

 Dear Team Members, 

 To my multiple friends. I regret my actions at the last team meeting. I understand that my behavior was unprofessional, and I sincerely apologize. I am committed to creating a positive and respectful work environment for all. These are my own words, and I honor them. 

 To Our Esteemed Community Members, 

 We are genuinely sorry for the oversight in our recent community event. We understand that our actions may have caused disappointment, and we are taking steps to ensure this will not happen again. 

 I apologize sincerely for the comments I made in our last group discussion. They were insensitive and inappropriate, and I deeply regret any hurt they may have caused. I am committed to being more mindful of my words in the future.

THE ROLE OF EMPATHY IN APOLOGY LETTERS

In apology letters, expressing empathy is essential for conveying sincere regret to the recipient. It allows the writer of such a letter to show that they are aware and acknowledge their counterpart’s emotions. 

 Examples of statements that demonstrate this include “I completely comprehend your feelings,” “The difficulty you must be experiencing saddens me,” or simply saying, “My apologies for causing hurt.” Expressing sympathy through an apology note can help reestablish trust between both parties and build on existing relationships, hence why it should not be overlooked in these types of communications.

AUTOMATING YOUR APOLOGY LETTERS WITH SIMPLY NOTED

Simply Noted is a platform that facilitates the production of personalized and professional apology letters with little effort. All you have to do is provide pertinent data; then, an expressive and apologetic letter will be created in moments – helping businesses save time while still giving them a heartfelt way to apologize. 

 This tool enables organizations to ensure their expressions of regret are consistently personal and sympathetic – creating stronger connections between themselves, customers, or colleagues without sacrificing sincerity for convenience. Automation does not need to equate coldness; through Simply Noted, one can demonstrate genuine remorse and prove dedication towards rectifying matters correctly.

ADDRESSING CULTURAL DIFFERENCES IN APOLOGY LETTERS

When it comes to accepting responsibility and being mindful of cultural aspects in writing apology letters, displaying sensitivity towards the specific values and beliefs that are meaningful for the addressee is essential. Investigating appropriate customs or expressions that demonstrate regret according to their culture will help make your amends more sincere. 

 For instance, when writing an expression of contrition aimed at a foreign business partner, researching methods typically utilized by them would be advantageous to include pertinent phrases or symbols that unequivocally portray genuine understanding on your part. Customizing this letter with respect to the recipient’s traditional background offers additional proof of empathy from you as well as a commitment to rectifying any wrongdoings committed previously.

APOLOGY ETIQUETTE: DO'S AND DON'TS

It is essential to be aware of the proper ways and wrong methods when apologizing so that your regret can show and make sure people accept it. These are some essential points for a successful apology: recognizing an error, taking full responsibility, being truthful with words showing true repentance about what has happened, and delivering the expression in person if possible, which will increase its value by having actual communication rather than written ones. 

 Some mistakes must be avoided while apologizing, such as devaluing or ignoring any issue regarding this matter, giving excuses instead of holding oneself accountable, not meaningfully expressing hurt caused to other parties involved, or committing something impossible without fulfilling it afterward. 

 By considering these courtesies, one can carry out a useful appropriate atonement from which relationships could heal again once trust is mended between two individuals thanks to practical terms used during the apologetic process entirely genuine.

HOW TO FOLLOW UP AFTER SENDING AN APOLOGY LETTER

When sending an apology letter, it’s essential to follow up to keep communication flowing and ensure the recipient is content with your apology. Give a few days before pursuing contact. This allows them time for personal reflection on the matter at hand. 

 Check in once or twice weekly during these first weeks after, then decrease frequency but stay conscious of their response to ensure satisfactory closure was achieved from your regretful message. If they don’t reply or accept remorsefully, maintain patient poise while respecting the feelings expressed, let them take whatever amount of time needed, and be accepted even if there has been no forgiveness.

HANDLING REJECTION OR NO RESPONSE TO AN APOLOGY LETTER

The feeling can be daunting when you send out an apology letter and get no response or it is rejected. It’s essential to understand that the receiver may need time to think about your words of remorse before deciding if they are ready for forgiveness. So, remain respectful of their reactions and patience while waiting for a response. 

 Reflecting upon what has occurred and going over the to write an apology letter that provides greater insight into how best to handle similar situations in future instances. Take this opportunity to gain personal growth from where mistakes were made so proper apologizing skills can continue developing throughout life’s journey.

Writing a sincere and meaningful apology letter is an excellent approach to repairing damaged relationships, showing remorse for mistakes, and taking accountability for your behavior. A successful best apology letter requires one to be genuine in their regret and have empathy while constructing the words of amends within the letter. Ensuring these components are expressed correctly can help restore trust between parties, whether with friends or colleagues alike.

Frequently asked questions

How do you write a good apology letter.

When writing a good apology letter, it is vital to recognize one’s mistake and express genuine regret for the situation through sincerity. An effective way of showing this remorse is by asking for forgiveness and clearly articulating your plan to fix the problem. Keep these points brief while ensuring that all relevant information about how you will solve things remains in the text.

What is a good apology example?

I profoundly apologize for the words I uttered that caused you so much emotional distress. It is with genuine regret that I recognize now how deeply my careless actions impacted your feelings and humbly ask your pardon for such inconsiderate behavior, which led to this situation.

What is a sincere apology letter?

Apology letters should be composed with genuine regret and humility. They need to reflect on the individual situation while apologizing without any exemptions or excuses given. Responsibility has to be owned up, and repentance for the results of such a mistake is also expressed in it. 

 An effective apology letter also needs to state why this error was committed so that reparation can be made afterward - these words have got to come from deep within. They must genuinely mean what is being said to them, not just serve as empty phrases void of actual remorsefulness. 

 The right keywords Are sincere apologies backed by promises of restoring things where appropriate: responsibility accepted plus regrets over specific outcomes, all stated clearly throughout each correspondence written.

How should I follow up after sending an apology letter?

Allow a few days to pass before getting back in touch, and then stay connected throughout the process. Check regularly to ensure that the written apology is accepted well by the person receiving it. Maintain communication all along to avoid missing any steps of this critical apology journey.

How can I address cultural differences in an apology letter?

To demonstrate sincere understanding, respect the culture of the person receiving your apology by including phrases and gestures that pertain to them. Show gratitude for any customs related to making amends professionally and connecting with your reader. Offer an appropriate expression of regret while expressing admiration for their background or traditions when delivering such an apology.

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How to Write An Apology Letter: Tips, Guidelines, and Apology Letter Examples

Are you wondering how to write an apology letter? Maybe your professional relationship with a work colleague has gone sour, or maybe you spoke without thinking in a conversation with a friend or family member. If a simple “sorry” won’t cut it, you can show your sincere regret by expressing your apology in writing.

This article explains how to write an apology letter, including how to craft an effective introduction and conclusion. It also contains apology letters examples that can help you get started on your own.

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What is an apology letter.

An apology letter is a written document or an email that acknowledges a mistake, expresses remorse, and asks the recipient for pardon or patience. It is a relatively formal letter, and it should assure the recipient that the mistake won’t happen again.

What Are the 4 Elements of an Apology Letter?

• Say you’re sorry. When writing a letter of apology, you should include a clear “I’m sorry” statement. Don’t beat around the bush or leave your recipient wondering why you’ve written. Give a direct apology.
• Acknowledge responsibility . In an apology letter, you must acknowledge your mistake. First, explain what occurred: the person you wronged needs to know that you understand what you said or did and why it was hurtful to them. Then take full responsibility for your actions and state that you know that what you did or said was wrong. This can make your apology stronger.
• Explain how you’ll make it better. Saying you’re sorry is a key step because it shows your regret and remorse. But taking proper action to make things right again is just as important. You need to explain what you’re going to do to fix the situation and ensure it doesn’t happen again in the future.
• Ask for forgiveness. One of the last moves in your apology letter is to ask for forgiveness. Remember, before you ask for forgiveness, you need to promise that the unwanted or bad behavior will not happen again.

How to Write an Apology Letter: Beginning and Ending

As in all types of writing, knowing how to begin and end an apology letter is paramount. Here’s some guidance on crafting two crucial parts of any apology letter: the introduction and the conclusion.

How to Begin an Apology Letter

The best way to start an apology letter is by saying you’re sorry. Get it out there right at the start. Saying you’re sorry and acknowledging that what you said or did was wrong are the first two steps in any apology.

How to End an Apology Letter

The best way to conclude an apology is to ask for forgiveness. When you do that, you’re giving the other person the option to accept the apology and restore your relationship. This also shows that you value the relationship and are committed to making it work. Two common closings in an apology letter are “sincerely” and “best regards.”

How to Write an Apology Letter: 5 More Useful Tips

Keep Your Word

Stay true to your word if you claim you won’t repeat your mistake. Be ready to back up your words with action and keep any promises you made. This will show people that your apologies are sincere.

Show Genuine Interest

You can show genuine interest in the other person by writing a sincere, genuine apology. By showing sincere regret and concern, you can mend fences with those you’ve wronged.

Don’t Excuse Yourself

When writing an apology, don’t make it about yourself. Don’t write about why you did what you did. Try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and ask yourself why they would feel the way they do. Definitely don’t justify your actions. This is a common mistake.

Don’t Focus on How You Feel

Similarly, when writing an apology letter, don’t focus on how you feel. You can seem self-centered and make a bad situation worse. A letter of apology should demonstrate your empathy for the other person.

Ask for Forgiveness

Asking for forgiveness is one of the best ways of showing genuine grief. By asking for forgiveness, you show vulnerability. A small amount of vulnerability can go a long way toward demonstrating that you mean what you say.

Apology Letter Examples to Help You Get Better at Apologizing

Apology letter examples can inspire you if you’re not sure where to start. There’s a wide range of different types of apology letters. For example, you may find yourself apologizing to a friend or family member or to upset customers in a customer service role. Your apology may also be handwritten, typed and printed, or sent as an email .

Apology Letter Example 1: Apology Letter to a Boss

Dear Mr. Moran:

I am writing to you to express my regret for my mistake. I emailed our client the wrong materials. I apologize, and I recognize the difficulties that my careless oversight must have caused the company.

I know that an apology cannot undo my error. However, I am writing this letter to express my regret for the mistake I made as a result of my negligence. I had no ill intent when I was carrying out my duties. Please accept my sincerest apologies and rest assured that I will exercise additional caution in the future.

Best regards,

Bruce Paige

Apology Letter Example 2:  Apology Email to a Colleague

I truly apologize for deleting the project files. I want to be clear that it was an accident and happened as a result of my carelessness, and I sincerely regret it.

I accept full responsibility for this event, which caused problems not only for the company but for you as well. I met with the manager and explained that this was my mistake, not yours.

You can be sure that I’ll be extremely careful in my future work. 

I look forward to working with you again.

How to Use Apology Letter Examples to Write Your Own 

By studying these apology letter examples and following their structure and approach, you can improve your apology writing. You’ll know how to write an effective apology letter on your own after a few tries. Remember to incorporate the tips and elements of apology letters discussed in this article.

If you need to improve your writing skills, you can also visit Purdue OWL , where you can find many writing tips. You can also get better at writing if you start writing every day .

Everyone has moments of poor judgment. Letters of apology can mend fences with coworkers, upset customers, friends, family members, and others. We hope this article has helped you learn more about how to write a successful apology.

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How to Write an Apology Letter FAQ

A good apology is a sincere apology. In a genuine apology, you will notice that the person at fault admits to their errors and attempts to correct them if they can. Even if the person can’t do anything to undo the mistake, an effective apology letter will communicate genuine regret.

You can get better at apologizing by practicing self-affirmation. An article published in The Journal of Experimental Social Psychology states that self-affirmation reduces defensiveness and increases the comprehensiveness of apologies . Again, everyone has moments of poor judgment. Making a mistake doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.

People write apology letters to repair relationships with people in their lives they may have wronged. In a high-stress work environment, it can help to develop and maintain effective work relationships .

It’s okay to apologize by text, but it’s better to deliver an apology in person or write a formal apology. It takes more time and effort to apologize in one of these ways, which demonstrates your sincerity and the importance that you ascribe to your relationship with the other person.

About us: Career Karma is a platform designed to help job seekers find, research, and connect with job training programs to advance their careers. Learn about the CK publication .

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• Writing Tips

5 Tips for Writing an Apology Letter

4-minute read

• 14th November 2021

So, you’ve messed up—either personally or professionally—and need to say sorry? You could write an apology letter to ask for forgiveness. But how do you write an apology letter or email ? We have five top tips to share, covering:

• How to structure an apology letter.
• The need to take responsibility for your actions
• How to avoid exaggeration that could seem insincere.
• The need to keep your letter concise (two or three paragraphs at most)
• The importance of proofreading your apology letter before sending it.

We will also include an example apology email at the end of the post. For more on how to write an effective apology letter or email, read on below.

1. The Structure of an Apology Letter

An apology letter can usually be broken down into three main sections:

• Opening section: To start your letter, acknowledge your mistake and describe the incident involved so the recipient knows what you’re referring to (and that you understand the consequences of what you did). Make sure you include the words “I’m sorry” or “I apologize” in the opening lines.
• Middle section: Share your plan to fix the mistake. If it isn’t possible to correct it this time, show how you’re willing to improve in the future, which will reassure the recipient that you’re taking this episode seriously.
• Closing section: Ask for the recipient’s forgiveness and/or patience. Don’t be afraid to show vulnerability by again admitting blame. Letting down your defenses should help to bring closure to the incident.

Try to follow this basic structure when planning your apology letter or email.

2.  Take Full Responsibility for Your Actions

It’s crucial not to shift blame or make excuses for your mistakes. It’s easy to say, “I’m sorry, but…,” but this doesn’t count as a genuine apology.

Likewise, it could seem insincere if you use the passive voice (e.g., “Mistakes were made…” rather than “I made a mistake…”) or only apologize for how others perceived your actions and not for the actions themselves (e.g., “I’m sorry you were upset by my actions…” rather than “I’m sorry for my actions…”).

Be prepared to fully and unequivocally take responsibility for your actions.

3. Don’t Exaggerate

While it’s important to express your regret in an apology letter, don’t exaggerate! If you overdo it, such as by claiming that your actions were monstrous and you don’t deserve forgiveness when all you did was break a colleague’s favorite mug by accident, your apology will seem insincere.

All you need to do is make it clear exactly what you’re apologizing for and that you are sorry. Don’t take responsibility for other errors that may have happened that weren’t your fault. Also, don’t mistake behavior (“I made a mistake”) for character (“I am a bad person”). This isn’t an exercise in self-criticism.

4. Be Clear and Concise

An apology letter should be short and to the point. Ideally, stick to two or three short paragraphs, only setting out the bare essential information required.

Likewise, make sure to use simple language. Overly complex expressions of regret could be confusing (or seem like you’re showing off).

Find this useful?

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To make sure your letter reads well, you may need a friend or colleague to read it through. Alternatively, you could try our professional editing services .

5. Proofreading Your Letter

Typos or other errors in an apology letter may make it seem insincere or that you don’t think apologizing is very important. Before sending it, then, make sure to proofread it carefully so you can be sure it reads well.

It can even help to get a professional involved at this point. Our expert team of proofreaders can ensure the tone of your letter is suitable and correct any spelling, punctuation, vocabulary, and grammar errors. If you’d like to give our services a try, moreover, you can submit a free sample document for proofreading today.

An Example Apology Email

Dear Jonathan and Lisa,

I’m so sorry for forgetting to come to your engagement party. It was a complete oversight on my part—I had forgotten to put the event in my calendar. I know you had catered for me and were looking forward to seeing me, and I feel awful about it.

Your friendship is important to me, and I have now written your wedding date in my calendar so as not to repeat my mistake. I’m also considering upgrading to an electronic calendar so that it doesn’t happen again.

I’m sorry—I know this oversight upset you both, and I really regret it. Please forgive me. I promise to do better in the future.

With best wishes,

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Letter of Apology • Apology Letter

Free sample letters of apology for personal and professional situations.

559 apology letter templates you can download and print for free. We have advice on writing letters of apology plus sample letters for personal, school, and business situations.

Here are the 10 most popular Apology Letters:

• Apology For Big Mistake
• Apology Letter for Behavior
• Apology Letter to Boss
• Sorry For What I Said
• Christian Apology Letter
• Apology to Pastor Repentance Letter
• Child Apology Fill In The Blank
• Apology Letter to Police
• Apology Letter Not Coming to Work
• Apology Letter for Copyright Infringement
• Apologizing When You Don't Mean It
• How Not To Write An Apology
• Apology Letter Tips
• How to Write an Apology to Your Spouse
• Writing a Letter of Apology
• General Apology Letters
• Apology For College Tardiness
• Apology For Missing College Class
• Apology Detailing What Went Wrong
• Apology For Apologizing Too Much
• Apology For Blocking Someone
• Apology For Flaking On Group Project
• Apology For Not Attending
• Late Apology
• Apology Accompanying Partial Payment
• Apology For Additional Expense Personal
• Apology For Complaining About Expense
• Apology For Late Submission
• Apology For Rejecting Offer
• Apology For Rushing You
• Apology For Tight Budget
• Apology For Car Causing Damage
• Apology For Child Breaking Item
• Apology For Complaining So Much
• Apology For Condition Of House Or Yard
• Apology For Dog Poop
• Apology In Advance For Loud Party
• Apology To HOA
• Sorry Cannot Attend Due To Human Rights Issue
• Apology For Adding To Schedule
• Apology For Error College Admissions Process Administration
• Apology For Error College Admissions Process Student
• Apology Including Request
• Apology For Privacy Breach School
• Declining College Acceptance
• Text Message Apology
• Text Message Mass Apology
• Apology For Being Late Happy Reason
• Apology For Being Late Sad Reason
• Apology For Huge Mistake
• Apology For Video Game Argument
• Apology And This Will Never Happen Again
• Apology For Not Following Through
• Apology For Small Mistake
• Apology With Action Steps
• Apology For Gambling
• Apology For Online Miscommunication
• Apology Not Your Fault
• Sorry For Gallows Humor
• Apology For Bad Meal
• Apology For Not Coming To Party
• Apology For Not Donating
• Apology With Pledge To Donate
• Sorry You Dont Feel Well
• Apology For Missing Rehearsal
• So Sorry For Bothering You
• Apology For Dog
• Apology For Missing Appointment Waive Fee
• Apology For Not Leaving A Tip
• Apology And Offer To Avoid
• Apology For Aggressive Behavior
• Apology For Making Someone Late
• Apology For Stealing Poem
• Apology When Done Nothing Wrong
• Sorry For Bothering You
• Apology For Damage To Borrowed Car
• Apology Rude On Facebook
• Blanket Apology
• Twitter Apology
• Apology For Prank
• Apology For Something You Dont Remember
• Apology To Roommate Breaking Lease
• Apology To Roommate Cleaning
• Apology To Roommate Late Payment
• Apology for Bad Driving
• Non-Apology Apology
• Apology Letter For Bad Job Housesitting
• Apology Letter For Flaking
• Apology Letter For Missing Meeting
• Apology Letter Social Media
• Apology On Twitter
• Apology for Delayed Response
• Apology for Hitting Car
• Apology Not Attending Wedding
• Apology to Landlord
• Informal Apology Letter
• Apology Letter for Late Payment
• Apology Letter for Mistake
• Blank Apology Letter
• Casual Apology Letter
• Criminal Apology Letter
• Cultural Misunderstanding Apology Letter
• Formal letter of Apology
• Insincere Apology Letter
• Letter of Apology for Delay
• Letter of Apology Examples
• Letter of Apology for Mistake
• Letter of Apology
• Mocking Apology Letter
• Sample Apology Letter
• Apology Letter for Dog Bite
• Apology Letter for Not Attending Funeral
• Apology Letter for Vehicle Damage
• Apology Letter from Church
• Apology Letter Without Admitting Guilt
• Personal Letters of Apology
• Apology For Breaking Promise
• Apology For Forgetting Anniversary
• Apology For Interrupting During Personal Conversation
• Apology For Not Being Present During Crisis
• Apology For Thoughtless Comment
• Apology For Being Toxic
• Apology For Using Wrong Pronoun
• Apology To Rebuild Trust Personal
• Apology Validating Other Person Personal
• Apology For Venting
• Apology With Promise
• Apology For Coming On Too Strong
• Apology For Crossing A Line
• Apology For Crying Wolf
• Apology For Giving Up
• Apology For Insecurity
• Apology For Leading Someone On
• Apology For Past Mistakes
• Apology For Ruining Your Life
• Apology With Gift
• Apology For Disrespecting Religion Or Faith
• Apology For Downplaying Pain
• Roommate Apology
• Roommate Apology With Request
• Apology For Dating Your Ex
• Apology For Judging And Lecturing
• Apology For Overreacting Due To Health Issues
• Apology For Overreacting Due To Personal Trauma
• Basic Apology Personal
• Regrets For Not Attending Event
• Apology For Canceling Plans
• Apology For Movie Argument
• Apology For Not Respecting Decision
• Apology For Not Stepping Up
• Apology For Persistence
• Apology For Argument Standing Ground
• Apology For Insensitivity
• Apology For Not Attending Gathering
• Apology For Political Argument Agree To Disagree
• Apology For Being Blunt
• Apology For Being Distant
• Apology For Transmitting Contagious Disease
• Sorry For Believing Lies
• Sorry For Caregiver Fatigue
• Sorry I Was Only Trying To Help
• Apology For Embarrassing Someone
• Apology For Insulting Spouse
• Apology For Not Supporting Child Fundraiser
• Apology For So Many Texts
• Apology For Spreading Illness
• Clueless Apology Letter
• Sorry For Misspelling Name
• Sorry I Forgot To Get Item
• Sorry I Woke You
• Apology For Ruining Trip
• Personal Apology For Injury
• Sorry For Losing Contact
• Sorry For Losing Your Pet
• Apology For Anxiety
• Apology For Argument About Political Leader
• Apology For Bad Joke
• Apology For Forgetting To Invite You
• Apology For Ghosting
• Apology For Not Showing Up After RSVP
• Apology For Not Showing Up For Date
• Apology For Questioning Your Judgment
• Apology For Sharing On Social Media
• Apology For Waking Baby
• Apology For Waking Someone
• Apology For Walking In On You
• Apology For Watching Show Without You
• Apology For Ignoring Person
• Apology For Not Believing Person
• Apology For Snooping
• Apology For Stealing Girlfriend
• Apology For Trigger
• Sorry That I Let You Go
• Apology Didn't Visit Sick Friend
• Apology For Hurtful Language
• Apology For Lice
• Apology For Misgendering
• Apology For Political Argument
• Apology For Taking Advantage Child Care
• Apology Houseguest Ruined Something
• Apology For Accusing Cheating
• Apology For Arrogance
• Apology For Bad Date
• Apology For Bad First Impression
• Apology For Being Creepy
• Apology For Breaking Item
• Apology For Canceling Date
• Apology For Leaving Someone Out
• Apology For Lost Item
• Apology For Passive Aggressive Behavior
• Apology On Behalf Of Partner
• Apology for Drunk Text
• Apology for Everything
• Apology for Jealousy
• Apology for Not Texting Back
• Apology Letter For Being Rude To Dog
• Apology Letter For Flaking On Lunch
• Apology Letter For Flipping Out
• Apology Letter For Overreacting
• Apology Letter Spreading Disease
• Apology for Wrong Name
• Apology to Get Ex Back
• Apology to In-Laws
• Apology to Old Friend
• Apology for Bounced Check
• Apology for Noise
• Apology for Verbal Abuse
• Apology Letter for Cancellation
• Apology Letter for Cell Phone Use
• Apology Letter for Missing Appointment
• Alcoholics Anonymous Apology Letter
• Apologize Letter for Not Attending
• Apology Divorce Letters
• Apology Letter to Boyfriend
• Apology Letter for Accidental Damage
• Apology Letter for Being Tardy
• Apology Letter for Coming Late
• Apology Letter For Hurt Feelings
• Apology Letter for Not Attending
• Apology Letter for Pet Behavior
• Apology Letter Girlfriend
• Apology Letter on Behalf of Child
• Apology Letter to Child
• Apology Letter to Ex
• Apology Letter to Grandparent
• Apology Letter to Husband
• Apology Letter to Wife
• Child Apology to Friend
• Letter Apology for Absence
• Letter of Apology � Personal
• Letter of Apology to a Friend
• Letter of Love Apology
• Neighbor Apology Letter
• Apology Letter Breaking Trust
• Apology Letter for Forgetting
• Apology Letter for Lost Item
• Letters of Apology for Misbehavior
• Apology For Accidentally Taking Item
• Apology For Illegal Dumping
• Apology For Poaching
• Apology For Laundry Room Etiquette
• Apology For Misbehavior On Airplane
• Apology For Parking In Wrong Spot
• Apology For Spoiling A Movie Or TV Show
• Apology For Theft
• Apology For Personal Misstep
• Apology For Disregarding Public Health Guidance
• Apology For Downplaying Pandemic
• Apology For Spreading Covid
• Apology For Cultural Appropriation
• Apology For Hurtful Behavior
• Apology For Forgetting Dietary Restrictions
• Apology For Forgetting To Check
• Apology For Forgetting To Pick Someone Up
• Apology For Using Leverage
• Sorry For Dismissing Pandemic Concerns
• Sorry For Exposing To Virus
• Sorry For Hoarding Products
• Sorry For Not Following Health Guidelines
• Sorry For Violating Shelter-In-Place Orders
• Apology All My Fault
• Apology For Being Insensitive
• Apology For Making Fun
• Apology For Outburst
• Sorry For Being Curt With You
• Sorry For Being Defensive
• Sorry For Falsely Accusing You
• Apology For Clogging Toilet
• Apology For Invading Privacy
• Apology For Mansplaining
• Apology For Wedding Behavior
• Sorry For Being A Jerk
• Sorry For Being Mean
• Sorry For NSFW Message
• Apology For Allergen
• Apology For Bad Housesitting
• Apology For Borrowing Without Asking
• Apology For Insult
• Apology For Insulting Your Child
• Apology For Insulting Your Ex
• Apology For Being Lazy
• Apology For Body Slamming
• Apology For Bringing Up Painful Subject
• Apology For Abandoning Child
• Apology For Abandoning Partner
• Apology For Affair
• Apology For Avoiding Someone
• Apology For Cursing
• Apology For Emotional Affair
• Apology For Racist Comment
• Apology For Running Over Pet
• Apology For Temper
• Apology for Bad Apology
• Apology for Joke
• Apology for Offensive Behavior
• Apology for Offensive Tweet
• Apology Letter Alcoholic 12 Steps
• Apology Letter Alcoholic Step 9
• Apology Letter Yom Kippur
• Apology Letter Yom Kippur Betray Trust
• Apology Letter Yom Kippur Bad Behavior
• Apology for Addiction
• Apology for Getting Angry
• Apology for Offending Someone
• Apology to Victim
• Apology to Victim Family
• Apology for Assault
• Apology for Fire Alarm
• Apology for Gossip
• Apology for Graffiti
• Apology for Harassment
• Apology for Sexual Harassment
• Apology for Talking in Class
• Apology for Trespassing
• Apology for Vandalism
• Apology Letter For Drunkenness Funny
• Apology Letter for Infidelity
• Apology Letter for Plagiarism
• Apology Letter for Teasing
• Apology Letter for Unfaithfulness
• Apology Letter to Friend for Rudeness
• Apology to Pastor Church Disruption
• Apology Letter to Principal for Absence
• Apology Letter to Principal for Rule Breaking
• Insincere Apology Letter for Plagiarism
• Insincere Apology Letter for Shoplifting
• Apology Letter for Cheating
• Apology Letter for Shoplifting
• Apology Letter for Stealing
• Apology Letter to Judge
• Car Accident Apology Letter
• Child Apology to Teacher
• Letter of Apology to a Teacher
• Letter of Apology to Teacher
• Letter of Apology to the Court
• Teen Apology to School
• Apology Letter False Accusations
• Apology Letter for Flirting
• Apology Letter for Libel
• Apology Letter for Misconduct
• Apology Letter for Slander
• Apology Letter for Telling a Secret
• Workplace Letters of Apology
• Apology For Interrupting During Meeting
• Apology For Oversight At Work
• Apology For Taking Credit For Idea
• Apology Letter From Boss
• Apology For Joint Workplace Project
• Apology For Additional Expense Business
• Apology For Quitting Job
• Apology For Short Notice
• Apology For Not Being More Clear
• Apology For Adding To Workload
• Apology For Bothering You Again
• Apology For Going Over Budget
• Apology For Not Understanding Technology
• Apology For Proofreading Error
• Apology For So Many Emails
• Apology For Technology Failure
• Apology For Wrongly Ordering Item
• Apology For Zoom Incident
• Sorry For Forgetting Video Call
• Sorry For Inappropriate Behavior Video Call
• Sorry For Stressful Workplace
• Apology For Going Home Early
• Apology For Not Completing Clerical Task
• Apology For Not Preparing For Meeting
• Apology For Sending Package Late
• Sorry For Not Being A Team Player
• Sorry I Thought You Were Working On That
• Apology For Backstabbing Coworker
• Apology For Missing Deadline
• Apology For Mistake Can Fix
• Apology For Mistake Can't Fix
• Apology For Eating Your Office Food
• Apology For Giving Unauthorized Interview
• Apology For Reply All Email
• Apology For Work Dress Code Violation
• Apology For Taking Client
• Apology Didn't Receive Email
• Apology For Copyright Violation
• Apology For Work Mistake Need Help
• Apology For Workplace Politics
• Apology Lying On Resume
• Apology Shared Company Secret
• Apology Working Slowly
• Apology For Bad English
• Apology For Crying
• Apology For Procrastination
• Apology For Typos
• Apology For Wrong Information
• Apology For Wrong Name Email
• Apology for No Show Interview
• Apology for Oversleeping
• Apology for Work Mistake
• Apology Letter For Assuming
• Apology Letter For Resigning Volunteer Position
• Apology for Insubordination
• Apology for Unprofessionalism
• Apology to Professor
• Apology Letter Declining a Job Offer
• Apology Letter to a Boss
• Apology Letter to Client
• Apology Letter to Lecturer
• Professional Apology Letter
• Apology Letter Email Error
• Apology Letter for Hacked Account
• Apology Letter to Employer Second Chance
• Apology Letter to Former Employer
• Apology Letter to Get Job Back
• Sample Letters of Apology from a Business
• Apology For Customer Service
• Apology For Data Breach
• Apology For Delayed Product Launch
• Apology For Manufacturing Flaw
• Apology For Miscommunication With Client
• Apology For Misleading Advertisement
• Apology For Product Recall
• Apology For Website Technical Issues
• Apology To Rebuild Trust Business
• Apology Validating Other Person Business
• Apology For Quality Issue
• Apology For Bad Hair Cut Or Color
• Apology For Bad Manicure
• Apology For Damage
• Apology For Installation Issue
• Apology For Unsanitary Conditions
• Business Raising Rates With Apology
• Raising Premiums With Apology
• Raising Rent With Apology
• Senior Level Apology
• Apology For Delay Due To Volume Of Orders
• Apology For Holiday Delays
• Apology For Privacy Breach Business
• Basic Apology Business
• Third Party Apology
• Apology For Business Closure
• Apology For Cancelling Event
• Apology For Cancelling Order
• Apology For Cancelling Reservation
• Apology For Injury At Business
• Apology For Late Delivery
• Apology For Rude Employee
• Apology For Allergen Restaurant
• Apology For Dress Code Enforcement Mistake
• Apology For Inconvenience
• Apology Didn't Return Phone Call
• Apology For Inaccurate Bill
• Apology For Professional False Promise
• Apology For Server Outages
• Apology On Behalf Of Staff
• Apology To Library
• Apology for Double Charge
• Apology for Food Poisoning
• Apology for Hotel Overbooking
• Apology for Overbooking Pre-Arrival
• Apology for Overcharge
• Apology to Bad Review
• Apology to Guest
• Apology Letter For Low Rating
• Apology Letter For Misleading Customer
• Apology Letter For Missing Medical Appointment
• Apology for Defective Product
• Apology for Long Wait Time
• Apology for Unsolicited Email
• Apology to Candidate
• Apology to Patient
• Apology to Unsatisfied Customer
• Apology for Construction Noise
• Out of Stock Apology Letter
• Apology Letter from Airline
• Apology Letter from Airline Compensation
• Apology Letter for Customer
• Apology Letter from Business
• Apology Letter from Hotel
• Apology Letter in Business
• Apology Letter to a Customer
• Apology Letter to Employee
• Letter of Apology Business
• Letter of Apology to Customer
• Letter of Business Apology
• Apology Letter for Damaged Goods
• Apology Letter Wrong Address
• Apology Letter Wrong Item Shipped
• Child Letters of Apology
• Child Apology Disruptive Behavior
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How to Write an Apology Letter

Last Updated: April 12, 2024 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Tami Claytor . Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification. There are 12 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 2,120,032 times.

While apologizing in person often conveys more sincerity, there are times when a formal, written apology might be your only option or could otherwise be the preferred method. To write an apology letter, you'll need to address your error early in the letter, acknowledge the other party's hurt feelings, and accept full responsibility for your part in the matter. In many cases, you'll also need to offer a solution that will fix any underlying issues related to the original problem. If you want to make sure that your apology is effective and doesn't cause even more hurt, aim for both clarity and sincerity while you write.

Sample Apology Letters

Forming Your Apology

• Say something like: “I wanted to write you a letter to apologize for what i did”.

• Say something like: “What I did last weekend was horribly inappropriate, disrespectful, and wildly selfish . Your wedding is supposed to be all about your happiness and celebrating your love. By proposing to Jessica, I turned that focus on to me. I tried to steal your moment and that was wrong.” [3] X Research source

• Say something like: “Jacob told me that my actions ruined not only your experience of your wedding, but also are now making your honeymoon less than the incredible experience that it should be. I hope you understand that that was never my intention. I wanted you to be able to look back on this time and remember only happy things but I have ruined that with my selfish actions. I've robbed you of those happy memories. While I can't truly know how this feels to you, I can certainly understand that what I did was one of the worst things I could possibly have done to you.”

• Say something like: “This is an especially terrible thing for me to have done to you after how warmly you have accepted me into your family. You have not only shown your incredible, beautiful love to my brother, but you have also shown me support and kindness that I never could have possibly expected. To hurt you in this way was an insult to all the things that you have done for me and I hate myself for that.”

• Say something like: “I would try to offer an explanation for what I did, but there are no excuses. My intentions, though good, don't matter here: only my poor choices. I absolutely take responsibility for my selfish actions and the terrible pain I have caused you.”
• Don't make excuses for your actions but you can explain your reasoning very carefully. If you really feel like it's needed or would make the situation better, you can explain why you made the choice that you made. This should be done only if you think understanding your choices would give the person you hurt some comfort.

• Say something like: “But just being sorry isn't enough. You deserve better. When you come home, Jessica and I would love to throw a big welcome-home party in your honor. This will be the party to end all parties and it will be 100% devoted to celebrating the incredible love you share with my brother. If you would rather not do this, that's fine: I just want to find some way to help you create the incredible, happy memories that I took away from you. ”

• Say something like: “I can’t expect your forgiveness, though I certainly hope for it. All I can say is that I truly want things to be okay between us. I want you to feel okay and eventually even happy when you're around me. I want to earn back the wonderful relationship that we had. Hopefully, in the future, we can find a way to move past this and create happier times together.”

Apologizing Correctly

• "Mistakes were made..."
• "If" statements like "I'm sorry if your feelings got hurt " or "If you felt bad about this..."
• "I'm sorry that you felt that way."

Formatting Your Letter

• You'll also need to adjust the syntax of your letter to sound formal and better fit the situation.

Expert Q&A

• Simply say what you mean and mean what you say. Sincerity is key. If you make a promise, stick to it. Thanks Helpful 78 Not Helpful 13
• You may have to bury your pride when you apologize. Pride gets you nothing; good relations can often become priceless. Thanks Helpful 74 Not Helpful 15
• Make sure that your letter is not too short. Just two or three sentences will not do the trick here. Show the person that you put time and effort into this letter. Thanks Helpful 70 Not Helpful 21

• Don't add anything that makes the person feel bad. They will not take the letter to heart, and probably won't forgive you. Thanks Helpful 51 Not Helpful 13
• Remember that sorry doesn't magically fix everything. If the other person decides not to forgive you, move on and know that you tried. Thanks Helpful 11 Not Helpful 3

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• ↑ https://gallaudet.edu/student-success/tutorial-center/english-center/writing/how-to-write-letters/how-to-write-apologies/
• ↑ Tami Claytor. Etiquette Coach. Expert Interview. 16 February 2022.
• ↑ https://news.osu.edu/the-6-elements-of-an-effective-apology-according-to-science/
• ↑ https://www.grammarly.com/blog/apology-letter/
• ↑ https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/making_an_effective_apology
• ↑ https://www.yourdictionary.com/articles/write-apology-letter
• ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/making_peace_through_apology
• ↑ https://www.plainlanguage.gov/resources/content-types/writing-effective-letters/
• ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-art-of-a-heartfelt-apology-2021041322366
• ↑ https://knowledge.wharton.upenn.edu/article/honest-apologies-can-help-leaders-organizations-rebound/
• ↑ https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/subject_specific_writing/professional_technical_writing/basic_business_letters/index.html

About This Article

To write an apology letter, start by explaining right away that you're writing to apologize so the recipient isn't confused. Then, go on to explain what you're apologizing for and acknowledge that what you did was wrong. Let the person know that you understand how your actions have affected them, and accept responsibility for what happened. When you're writing your letter, avoid making excuses for what you did or your apology may not seem sincere. Finish your letter by offering to make things right in any way you can. If you want to learn more, like how to correct your actions with promises that you can keep, continue reading the article! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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How to Write Apologies

202.448-7036

Do you have an apology to make? Have you been late in saying thank you for a gift or invitation? Have you been involved in some kind of misunderstanding that you want to clear up? Has your child misbehaved? Have you damaged someone else’s property? Have you been unable to keep an appointment or a promise? Have you been rude or insensitive? Here are some tips on how to write your apology with dignity and sincerity.

Guidelines for writing apologies:

• Write as soon as possible after the incident. Apologize, but do not go overboard by saying, “I am very, very, very sorry.” Keep it simple and to the point. Summarize what you are apologizing for, and apologize only for the particular situation or problem. Be brief. Apologize cheerfully and sincerely. Do not express feelings of guilt.
• Explain what you will do to correct the mistake or situation. Assure the person that this will not happen again.
• Do not put blame on another person and do not blame problems on computer errors or carelessness.
• Thank the person for bringing the problem to your attention if you were unaware of the situation.
• Reread the letter to check your grammar, spelling and tone.

Helpful words you can use

Click on each word to get definitions and examples from WordNet 2.0 Vocabulary Helper.

Missing an Appointment

Apology for Reply to Belated Invitation

Apology for Broken Object

sourced by Janel Muyesseroglu

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Greater Good Science Center • Magazine • In Action • In Education

The Three Parts of an Effective Apology

People make mistakes all the time. Not just bad people, or weak people. All people. Our mistakes are what make us human. And even when we don’t think that we’ve made a mistake, other people will often find errors in our ways. We human beings are walking offenders.

Here’s the real question: If we’ve done something that offends someone else—whether or not we feel we are to blame—should we apologize?

I believe that it almost always serves our highest good to apologize if we’ve hurt or offended someone else—even if we think the offended person’s anger is unjustified, or if we have a perfectly good excuse for what happened. Or if our intentions were all good.

Often, the impact of our action is not what we intended. But here’s the thing: Impact matters much more than intention. Our happiness is best predicted by the breadth and depth of our social connections—our relationships with friends, family, partners, spouses, neighbors, colleagues—and so broken or fraying connections are usually worth repairing.

We don’t repair a fissure in one of our relationships by ignoring it. (We have a saying in our family: You can sweep sh*t under the rug, but it is still going to smell.) And we don’t repair it by blaming someone else, or defending our actions. We initiate a repair by apologizing.

But all apologies aren’t created equal, of course. (All parents have watched children spit out a forced “SORRY!” and known it was worthless.) A good apology is something of an art.

So what makes a good apology? After studying that question extensively, Aaron Lazare developed perhaps the most robust criteria to date for effective apologies. Drawing on Dr. Lazare’s work, I’ve whittled down his ideas to the following three-step method for making a good apology.

Step 1: Tell them what you feel

Usually, we start by saying “I’m sorry” to express remorse. “I’m sorry” is more effective when we elaborate on our remorseful feelings. For example, “I’m so sorry and sad to hear that my lack of communication has made you so angry and resentful.” Or, “I’m so sorry and embarrassed that my comment caused such an uproar.”

Just share the remorseful feelings, please. It is not constructive is succumb to—and share—feelings of resentment or defensiveness, like, “I’m sorry…you’re being so petty and critical.”

Step 2: Admit your mistake AND the negative impact it had

This is the hardest part, because it requires admitting responsibility for our actions or behavior. This can feel impossible if we don’t really think we did much wrong, or if our intentions were good.

Ask yourself: How is the other person feeling? What did I do that caused that feeling? Could I have done something differently?

Then acknowledge these things. Empathize with the offended person; the most important thing is that you demonstrate that you are trying to understand how they feel. (Don’t apologize until you actually do understand how they are feeling; if you can’t put yourself in their shoes, your apology will ring false.)

For example: “I can see that my comment hurt your feelings, and that you are feeling misunderstood and uncared for.”

Or to your partner you might say, “I know that it was wrong of me to call you out in front of the whole family, and that you are angry because I’ve hurt your credibility with the kids. I’m sure that was embarrassing, and it was a mistake for me to do that.”

More on Apology

This is where most of us are tempted to offer an explanation for our behavior. When in doubt, leave the explanation out; trying to explain away our actions can seem like we’re being defensive, or making excuses. (Remember, the point is to repair the relationship, not make the other person see that you were right.)

If you need to shed light on why you did what you did, be careful to continue to take responsibility for the negative impact you had. Saying, “I really didn’t know that you would be offended” is an excuse, not a good explanation. Whining that you didn’t intend for the other person to be hurt doesn’t shed light on anything. More effective would be saying, “It is no excuse for standing you up, but I want you to know that my stepfather had just had a stroke, and I was so frantic to get to the hospital that I forgot to call you.”

If you do offer an explanation, it can help to reiterate your mistake and again acknowledge how the other person feels: “Again, I’m so sorry that I didn’t call you, and that you were stuck there waiting for me for an hour. I can only imagine how upset, worried, and angry you must be.”

Step 3: Make the situation right

Good apologies include a reparation of some kind, either real or symbolic. Maybe you create an opportunity for the person you embarrassed to regain credibility. Or perhaps you admit your mistake to others, too, as a part of the reparation. In many relationships, a hug is a great reparation.

Often, all we need to do is explain what we are going to do differently the next time so that we don’t repeat the offending action or behavior. This helps us rebuild trust and repair the relationship.

If you aren’t sure how to make it right, just ask, “Is there anything I can do to make this up to you?”

Above all, deliver on any promises you make. When we feel guilty or embarrassed, sometimes we over-correct in our attempt to gain forgiveness . If the person is asking for something that you can’t give, say so, and say that you will give some thought to what you can give to make it up to them.

Knowing how to apologize well is at the top of my Sweet Spot Manifesto . It’s a life skill I want my children to practice and master. And it’s one that I’m still working on myself.

When has an apology made all the difference in your life? Leave a comment below.

Are you craving one of these apologies? Whenever I talk or write about making apologies, people often respond by wishing that someone else would apologize to them. If this is you, please leave your story in the comments—I will try to address your situation in a future post.

About the Author

Christine Carter

Christine Carter, Ph.D. is a Senior Fellow at the Greater Good Science Center. She is the author of The New Adolescence: Raising Happy and Successful Teens in an Age of Anxiety and Distraction (BenBella, 2020), The Sweet Spot: How to Accomplish More by Doing Less (Ballantine Books, 2015), and Raising Happiness: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents (Random House, 2010). A former director of the GGSC, she served for many years as author of its parenting blog, Raising Happiness . Find out more about Christine here .

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Do you use these words when you apologize? It's time to stop, researchers say

Mary Louise Kelly

There are certain words that can creep into apologies but should be avoided, experts say. jayk7/Getty Images hide caption

There are certain words that can creep into apologies but should be avoided, experts say.

There's something very powerful about receiving or giving a heartfelt, genuine apology.

Bad apologies, on the other hand, can be disastrous and lead to more hurt.

The new book, Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies , draws from a broad range of research to explain the power of apologies, why we don't always get good ones, and the best way to tell someone you're sorry.

Co-authors Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy break down the six (and a half) steps to great apologies. They are:

• Say you're sorry. Not that you "regret," not that you are "devastated." Say you're "sorry."
• Say what it is that you're apologizing for. Be specific.
• Show you understand why it was bad, take ownership, and show that you understand why you caused hurt.
• Don't make excuses.
• Say why it won't happen again. What steps are you taking?
• If it's relevant, make reparations: "I'm going to pay for the dry cleaning. Just send the bill to me. I'm going to do my best to fix what I did."

Southwest Airlines apologizes and then gives its customers frequent-flyer points

"These six steps are relevant for adults, for children, for corporations, for institutions, for governments," Ingall said. "And six-and-a-half is 'listen.' People want to be heard, and don't jump over them. Let the person that you hurt have their say."

Ingall said saying the word "sorry" may seem obvious, but it didn't always happen. Instead, people say things like they're "regretful," and this isn't the same thing.

"Regret is about how I feel," Ingall said. "We're all regretful. 'Sorry' is about how the other person feels. And when you apologize, you have to keep the other person's feelings at top of mind."

Then there are the words not to say during an apology.

Ingall points to words like "obviously" ("If it was obvious, you wouldn't have to say it") and "already" ("'I've already apologized' is a thing we hear a lot"), and the qualifiers like "sorry if ..." and "sorry but ..." and "I didn't meant to."

"Intent is far less important than impact when it comes to apologies," Ingall said.

It's Been a Minute

Millennials in hollywood are making parents apologize on-screen.

McCarthy adds that a bad apology can even make things worse.

"It's akin to the cover-up being worse than a crime, if you make an apology that says, you know, 'You shouldn't even have a white sofa,' or, 'You shouldn't have been standing there,'" she said.

On the other hand, a great — even late — apology can have tremendous healing power, the authors say.

"I received a letter years after a breakup from a boyfriend," Ingall said. "And he just said, 'I wanted you to know I'm getting married. And I'm aware that I was often not a good boyfriend. And I want you to know that I was listening, even when it didn't seem like I wasn't listening. And I'm going to be a better husband because of our relationship.'"

Ingall said there was no return address on the letter, which made it feel more meaningful as there was no expectation of a response.

"I still had some sad and angry feelings about that relationship, and it felt so healing," she said. "And it felt like it was good for my relationships moving forward, too. I mean, a good apology is a really, really potent thing."

"I think in some ways we don't even understand yet."

Mallory Yu edited the radio interview.

• Even Better

Everyone messes up. Here’s how to say you’re sorry.

It’s easy to give a bad apology. Here’s how to give a good one.

by Allie Volpe

If you can’t remember the last time you apologized: congratulations, you are perfect — or at least you believe you are. For the rest of us, apologizing is a common, if difficult, part of life.

Among the earliest lessons imparted to children is the art of saying sorry, yet these skills don’t always transfer neatly to adulthood. Relationships are messy and both parties often have some level of culpability. However, the biggest obstacle to apologetic bliss isn’t a complicated argument — it’s self-protective motivations.

Good apologies are notoriously hard to come by, partly because of an inherent resistance to making them in the first place. People are hesitant to apologize because they falsely believe it affects how outsiders perceive them, says ‪ Amy Ebesu Hubbard ‬, a professor at the University of Hawaii Manoa School of Communication and Information. Some view apologizing as admitting defeat and thereby lowering their social status; others think it tarnishes their reputation. On the contrary, a successful apology can bring people closer together and can improve the apologizer’s standing with the receiver, Hubbard says.

There are a number of other psychological barriers preventing people from apologizing, according to Karina Schumann , a professor of psychology at the University of Pittsburgh. Chief among them is a desire to see yourself as a good person — and for others to consider you morally just, too. When someone is upset with you, it’s common to shift into self-protection mode and to trick yourself into believing you didn’t do anything wrong. “A lot of the time, people don’t apologize simply because these self-defensive processes kick in and they come up with all kinds of reasons why they shouldn’t apologize,” Schumann says. “They push blame onto the other person, they think of excuses, all the situational factors that caused them to behave the way they did.” Another impediment to apologizing can be a lack of empathy or concern for the relationship with the wronged party.

Saying sorry effectively boils down to a few simple steps that can be easily replicated and adapted to different situations, from accidentally bumping into a stranger in a crowded bar to insulting the entirety of your best friend’s life choices. The key to successful apologies doesn’t lie in following a formula, though: It’s true sincerity.

The six (and a half) components of a good apology

According to Marjorie Ingall and Susan McCarthy, the authors of the book Sorry, Sorry, Sorry: The Case for Good Apologies , successful apologies contain six (and a half) components:

• Say you’re sorry or that you apologize. Actually use the words “I’m sorry” or “I apologize.”
• Name or specify the infraction you’re apologizing for.
• Show you understand why your actions were harmful and hurtful, and the effect it had on the other person.
• Don’t make excuses, but offer an explanation if needed.
• Say what you are doing to ensure this situation won’t happen again.
• Offer to fix what’s broken — whether that’s buying your aunt a new lamp you knocked off a table at Thanksgiving or offering to spend more time with a friend who feels neglected.

The half-step is to listen to the person or people (these steps work regardless if you’re apologizing to one person or a group) you’ve wronged. This is about their experience and emotions, not yours.

“They’re more or less ranked in the order of importance,” McCarthy says. This isn’t to say listening is the least important, but sometimes the hurt person may not want to extend the conversation beyond hearing you say sorry.

Each component can be adjusted to fit the seriousness of the apology. You don’t need to explain what you’re doing to better yourself after accidentally stealing your neighbor’s trash can. But you’ll want to show you understand why punching a wall in a rage is not healthy.

Saying the words “I’m sorry” or “I apologize” is non-negotiable in any decent apology, big or small. Avoid terms like “I regret” or “I feel really bad about what happened.”

For bigger infractions, explicitly saying what you’re apologizing for and why it was wrong helps you take accountability. Be specific and use active language. Think: “I’m sorry I accused your sister of stealing money. It was crappy of me to make assumptions based on judgments.” and not “I regret the events that occurred which caused you to feel upset” or the other gobbledygook commonly found in brand , YouTuber , and notes-app apologies. “If you just dropped a cup of water, you don’t need to explain to that person,” McCarthy says. “But in most cases, it’s really good to specify.”

Even if you aren’t sure why someone is angry with you — but you know they are — apologize for what you can, Hubbard says; that might sound like “I can see that you’re upset with me and I’m very sorry for hurting you.” Piecemeal apologies also apply to situations where you’re being told to say sorry even if you feel you were justified in your actions. Ingall recalls a situation in which her child was asked to apologize for yelling at another student after they were provoked by a bully. “I felt like Max was 100 percent the wronged party and only reacted,” Ingall says. “We figured out that Max could say, ‘I’m sorry for disrupting the class.’”

Explaining why you acted the way you did can add important context, Schumann says. Victims of wrongdoing often see the transgression as purposeful, unfair, and intentional, according to research . On the other hand, the wrongdoers tend to see their actions as provoked and justified. A non-defensive account of your motivations can help the person you’re apologizing to see that you weren’t acting maliciously. Schumann suggests saying something like, “I want to let you know why my behavior has been like this over the past few weeks just to help you understand where it was coming from. It’s no excuse and I should’ve done better.” Be careful to not make excuses, Ingall stresses. In their book, Ingall and McCarthy write that “I didn’t mean to,” “Some things just fell through the cracks,” or “I knew you’d never understand” are all common excuses.

Saying the words “I’m sorry” or “I apologize” is non-negotiable in any decent apology, big or small

Describe how you’ll never make the same infraction again with specificity: “I’ll set a reminder in my phone next time so I don’t forget,” “I won’t use that language anymore,” “I’m going to therapy.” It’s not enough to say “I’m taking responsibility for my actions.” How will you take responsibility?

While not applicable in all situations, making up for a bad deed can look like offering to buy a new white rug after you spilled red wine all over it, or publicly correcting the record regarding the embarrassing claims you made about a friend.

These intense and personal apologies are what researcher Yohsuke Ohtsubo calls “ costly apologies ,” where the wrongdoer is willing to do whatever it takes to repair the relationship. Victims perceive these apologies as being more sincere because they know “that you value the relationship with them more than the cost you pay,” says Ohtsubo, a professor at the University of Tokyo, “which also informs them that you are not likely to do the same transgression again.” The “cost” incurred has less to do with monetary value but instead is focused on the worth of the relationship.

What not to do when apologizing

There are a few hallmarks of a bad apology. Ingall and McCarthy suggest avoiding language like “Sorry if …” (“Sorry if you were offended”), “Sorry but …” (“Sorry, but I had every right to yell”), and “Sorry you …” (“I’m sorry you took that the wrong way”). Don’t include words like “obviously,” “regrettable,” and “unfortunate” either.

Any statement that confers blame on the recipient is a bad apology. “It’s very normal for us to want to point out how they’ve hurt us as well,” Schumann says, “because oftentimes these things aren’t clean-cut in terms of who hurt who.” If you feel like you are also owed an apology, save that for a separate conversation.

By apologizing, you acknowledge your words and actions have caused pain — so don’t minimize the other person’s hurt in order to assuage your ego. “It was just a joke,” “I didn’t mean anything by it,” or “I don’t know why it was such a big deal” are bound to make the other person feel worse, Schumann says.

When and how to apologize

More important than the timing and means of your apology is its sincerity, Hubbard says. If you’re not ready to say sorry and mean it, you can apologize multiple times, Hubbard says: Once to clear the air of any awkwardness, and later when you truly feel repentant.

Don’t worry about where the apology lives within the conversation — focus on being sincere and empathetic instead. A commonly cited study found that when apologies came after the wronged party had a chance to share their feelings, they were more effective. One of Hubbard’s studies showed that starting a conversation with an apology can springboard a deeper conversation. Whenever you apologize, be prepared for any range of emotions, and to listen (or for the other person to disengage completely).

In general, the most sincere apologies take place face-to-face or over the phone. The other person can hear your voice, your tone, and read your body language. Text apologies can be utilized if you typically interact with the person you’ve hurt that way. Messages on social media can be an effective way to apologize to someone from your past you don’t communicate with or see in person. Mass apologies on social media should be avoided at all costs.

“It is far healthier to reach out with your actual human voice to your friends who you have actually harmed and say, ‘I’m sorry, I love you, I miss you. Can we talk about this?’” Ingall says. “You will find that to be endlessly more fulfilling than the Notes app apology that, B-T-dubs, everybody ends up messing up anyway.”

When not to apologize

There are seemingly endless situations calling for an apology — plenty of ways to screw up, piss people off, or offend — but a few circumstances when you don’t need to change a thing. Women and girls, who are famously maligned for apologizing too frequently , should stop apologizing for apologizing, Ingall says. “We have to be really careful about not over-policing women’s speech and not telling women that the way they talk — whether that’s vocal fry, or rise in inflection at the end of the sentence, or apologizing — is wrong,” she says, “because sometimes there are things we just got to do to make it through the day and to make our life easier.”

Never apologize for existing, taking space, and living your authentic self. That’s the version of unapologetic worth aspiring to.

“It’s appropriate to apologize for things that you do or say,” McCarthy says. “You don’t have to apologize for who you are.”

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80 Apology Paragraphs Straight From The Heart

By Author Lauren Levine

Categories Quotes

Choosing the right words to say sorry to someone you hurt can be tricky. So I collected the best apology paragraphs available online and I’m sure they’ll help you restore much-needed trust, peace, and harmony. Let’s take a look!

Best Apology Paragraphs

1. “My tears are dropping as looking at the raindrops. I remember the moments we shared. As the rain soaks in my skin, I remember our love and realize how stupid I am for hurting you. I’m sorry.”

2. “You’re the only person I can tell all my secrets to, the first person I want to talk to when I wake up, and the last person I want to talk to before I drift off to sleep. I am so sorry for betraying your trust. Your trust is a treasure that I did not treat well. I will work hard to earn that trust back from you.”

3. “Every time I hurt you, I put blisters in myself. Every time I make you angry, I am belittling myself, Every time I complain to you, I downgrade myself. Please forgive me, my love.”

4. “I am sorry for being such a fool. But I am a fool who is in love with you. I am sorry for what I did. I will wait forever if that is how long you need to forgive me. Please accept my sincere apology.”

5. “I am an imperfect being, but this does not justify the mistakes that I have made. I understand that even if I say sorry, it will not change anything. However, I will keep my promise that I will change because I want to become a better person for you.”

6. “You helped me to become a better person. Honestly, I am trying hard to become better for you. I’m sorry that I have hurt you. I humbly ask for your forgiveness.”

7. “I am the luckiest person on this planet to have a partner like you. But I always cause you some headaches. I promise to become the best person that you can be proud of. I’m sorry for the wrongdoings I did.”

8. “I miss the moments when we laugh together, cry together, and tap our backs together. But I hurt you and caused pain you pain. Please remember the happy moments we shared and forgive me.”

9. “You are my priceless love. I’m sorry for not listening to you and going the other way. I realize the huge mistake I commit. I am sorry for hurting you my love .”

10. “I can make the ground shake because of my love. My love can shatter the earth. My heart broke when you left me. I regret and am angry with myself for doing such a stupid act. Please forgive me.”

11. “I may be too late. You may already be gone. Or should I say that I am the one who may be gone from your heart?”

12. “I wish I could travel back in time and not make a mistake. I wish to take back the pain. I wish to fill those pains with joy. I am sorry.”

13. “I feel shame for what I said to you. A simple I’m sorry message may not be enough. But I am willing to do everything to get you back and be my one and only true love.”

14. “How I wish I could turn back the hands of time and unsay everything I said back then. I never meant to be mean. Please, forgive me.”

15. “I don’t deserve you, and that’s why I am apologizing with this sorry message. You are my only true love. If we are meant to be, then somehow, we will make it work. Please forgive me.”

16. “I know sorry is not enough, but you cross my mind every single day. Life without you is difficult and meaningless. Making you happy is my only motto. I’m afraid to lose you. I promise this is the last time. Forgive me, my baby!”

17. “Words can’t describe how sad I’m that I broke your heart. Please forgive me and give me a place in your heart. I cannot live like this. I apologize for everything I did. Without you, my life is nothing.”

18. “I was such a fool to make an argument. Please forgive me, and let me right all my wrongs. I feel like you are miles away from me. After this argument, I realized how much you mean in my life. I’m sorry, baby!”

19. “The biggest mistake I ever made was allowing pride to come in between us. How I wish I had let it off earlier, we wouldn’t be here today. I’m willing to do anything to get back to you again.”

20. “I am in the park, and the sunlight reminds me of your beautiful hair. It reminds me of the laughter and smile we had. I am still waiting for you. I will never stop waiting for you. I am deeply sorry.”

I’m Sorry Paragraphs

1. “My world breaks apart when I see you crying. My heart breaks into pieces realizing I hurt you. I can neither bear this pain nor see you like this. My heart has already been shattered into pieces. I’m sorry!”

2. “I know you are mad at me right now. I hate seeing you cry. I have myself realizing that I have hurt you. Please, give us a chance to fix this.”

3. “Can we, please, bury the argument and move on? I know this is unforgivable. I know you can never love me like before, but I cannot lose you, baby. Sorry, the love of my life!”

4. “Baby, we promised not to allow anything to get in our way. I’m sorry for the mistake I did that disappointed you and made you angry. I hope and pray that you can forgive me.”

5. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you. I’m sending you this love message in a card to let you know that I love everything about you, always, every single day.”

6. “Yesterday was the saddest moment for me as I cannot believe that we made a fight last night. I’m sorry for whatever the cause is. I promise that I will change and become good to you.”

See also: 100 Couple Love Fight Quotes To Share With Your Partner

7. “Since the time you accepted me and allowed me to love you, all I ever wanted was to make you happy. I think my effort is not enough, as it did not appear that much. I am sorry for being insensitive. I ask for your forgiveness.”

8. “Our relationship is tested like gold in a fire. It becomes more refined and stronger. May you give me your forgiveness.”

9. “Please excuse my behavior last week. Your criticism was completely justified, and I should have reacted differently to it.”

10. “When we made our vows, we both accepted that we both have small potholes in life. These potholes are the challenges in the freeway of our married life. Can we fix our potholes together?”

11. “When we made our promises in front of the minister, I knew at that time that half of me was in you. Now that we are in this situation, I feel down and cannot function well. Please forgive me.”

12. “Our relationship is still sweet, even if you add a little saltiness. I’m sorry for the silly mistakes that I have made. I know what I did wasn’t cool. I’m sorry.”

13. “Yesterday was the best time of my life. Thank you for hugging me despite the wrong actions that I have done. You are truly my best friend and lover. I’m truly sorry for hurting you.”

14. “Your presence is like heaven to me. You comforted me. Now that a single mistake made it dull, I feel alone and sorry. Please forgive me.”

15. “It’s not easy to apologize. I hope you see my apology comes from the heart. And I hope you put our love above my mistake.”

16. “They say the best apology is to change your behavior. Let’s spend time together again so that I can show you my new behavior.”

17. “I’m sorry I’m not perfect, and I haven’t been working on it. But you are perfect to me, and I could still learn from you if you let me.”

18. “I truly care about you and love you like crazy. I know a huge amount of sorry messages cannot fix your heart. But I will try my level best to make you happy. I’m sorry, my love.”

19. “I should never say those words to you. I cannot lose you, baby. The only thing I can do right now is to think about you. Seeing you like this shatters my heart. Sorry for breaking your heart, baby.”

20. “I’m sorry that I messed up. But I’ll fix everything, sweetheart. I can live without your love and care, baby. I can fix everything if you give me a last chance. I realized that I was wrong, and so I’m sorry!”

Apology Paragraphs For Her Copy And Paste

1. “You are the only person who taught me that asking for humble forgiveness is the bravest thing I can ever do. It frustrates me because I hurt the feelings of the number 1 woman in my life. That is you, sweetheart. I’m sorry, and I ask for your forgiveness.”

2. “I’m sorry for the wrongdoings I did that disappointed you. You are the best girlfriend in the world, for you never stop being on my side despite my inequities. Please forgive me.”

3. “I’m sorry, my dear, for the pride of my heart. It took time for me to realize that being proud is also breaking you as my wife. I promise to do my very best never to let it happen again.”

4. “May you feel the sincerity of my apology? I’m very sorry for hurting you so much. I’m sorry for the hurting words that came out of my mouth. Please, I am asking for your forgiveness.”

5. “Without you, my life is falling apart. I am a hopeless, miserable man who doesn’t know what to do with his life anymore. Please don’t leave me in this abyss. Forgive my mistakes and stay with me.”

6. “I feel like an idiot, thinking that everything that happened is because of my immature mindset. I regret what happened. I wish I could still have the chance to come back and give you my warm, loving arms. I love you so much, and I am deeply sorry.”

7. “Every day and every night, I am haunted by my thoughts because of the pain I caused you. I regret giving you tears instead of laughter. I really messed up. Please forgive me.”

See also: 90 Best I’m Sorry Paragraphs For Her When You Messed Up

8. “I am too much of an idiot to make such a mistake and cost you to lose your trust in me. Believe me, it is never my intention. I’m sorry, and please forgive me.”

9. “My sweet wife, I’m sorry for being rude and hurting you with my bad mouth. The stress I have in my work is not a good reason for doing such cruelty. Please give me your forgiveness.”

10. “I love you more deeply as you showed me how strong you are as a woman who stood up and corrected me for the mistakes I made. It helped me change my heart and mind. Thank you. I’m sorry for being immature.”

See also: 100 Best I’m Sorry Paragraphs For Her To Make Her Forgive You

Apology Paragraphs For Him

1. “For the last few days, I have felt so lonely. I’m missing the sweetest hug from my man. I miss the nice words while my man is talking. I miss the kindest smile of my man. I am sorry, honey, please forgive me for my actions that hurt you.”

See also: 190 Heartfelt I Miss You Baby Quotes For Emotional Souls

2. “I am ready to do anything. I am ready to do everything. I am ready to take away all the hurt I made you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

3. “You are the hottest guy that deserves the most understanding girlfriend. I’m sorry for the tantrums that caused you to be annoyed. I promise to throw them away and choose you to be my comfort.”

4. “I’m sorry about the mistrust I give you. I realize that I have been so unfair towards you. Can I put my fingers in the spaces between your fingers back again? I love you.”

5. “I’m sorry for making you annoyed with my jealousy and possessive attitude. I am just afraid of the other girls. I promise to work out my temper and trust in your love.”

6. “I feel the pain of realizing that such a small mistake made us suffer like this. What a stupid act of mine. Can we not let our relationship end this way? Please accept me. Please forgive me.”

7. “I am now feeling the emptiness. How can I function now without you? I’m shedding tears because of the stupid mistake. I’m sorry, my love. Please forgive me.”

8. “Dear, I am guilty of what I have done. I beg your forgiveness. You are a man with a big heart. I love you even in times of challenges like this. This will never happen again.”

9. “A handsome, stunning, and loving man can never be mad at me. Please forgive me. I hope we can be back to normal mode because I miss you now.”

10. “Ever since we decided to date, we have met plenty of setbacks, bad times, and challenges. Yet, we never give up and never allow those to rotten our relationship. Can we not let it happen this time?”

See also: Top 120 Most Emotional Sorry Messages For Boyfriend

More Love Paragraphs To Say Sorry

1. “My dearest love, I don’t deserve forgiveness, but I request you to forgive me this time. I know my faults are huge, and I am a bad person to love. But trust me, you were always my first priority and will forever be. I’m sorry.”

2. “I know I’m imperfect, and I make mistakes. I promise not to make the same mistake again to hurt you. I never meant to tell you those words. I’m extremely sorry, and please forgive me, baby.”

3. “I want to enjoy the rest of my life with you. Please forgive me, baby. I won’t hurt you again. No one in this world cannot replace you, and I’m ashamed of myself.”

4. “I’m sorry for neglecting you while giving priority to other people and things. All I can say is I’m ashamed of myself for not treating you properly. Please give me another chance and let me fix everything in the right place.”

5. “While I hurt you, I hurt myself two times more. My heart is filled with sorrow. I’m always ready to make you happy, and I will make you happy in the future. Just give me one chance.”

6. “I’m sorry, babe, for hiding the truth from you. Please believe in me, and I will make everything like before. I am reassured that I will always be there for you, no matter what comes my way. I’m begging you to forgive me.”

7. “I love you, and I want you to know that I am very sorry, babe, for everything I did. You are the perfect partner anyone could ask for. I’m ashamed that I made an argument with you. Please give me time, and I’ll make everything like it used to be.”

8. “I don’t know what to do, knowing that I am the reason behind your tears. I just cling on to the hope that one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

9. “You know how much I hate writing love letters, but for you, I can do anything. Whether it is writing a hundred apology letters. I am writing to let you know that I admit I did wrong to you, and I am sorry. I keep on disappointing you, but you keep on loving me. Please give me one last chance.”

10. “You are my sunshine. You light up my world as no one else can. I am sorry for letting you go. Without you, it’s darkness everywhere. Please forgive me. I will do anything to win your heart back.”

11. “You’ve occupied all of my thoughts. Things are beginning to fall out of place because the only person that gives me life isn’t here with me. Please find it in your heart to forgive me. I love you.”

12. “I am so sorry that my words and actions made you cry. I was not thinking. What can I do to make things better? I would do anything to make you smile again.”

13. “I always believe you are a person with a big heart. I would like to ask for another chance. I am asking humbly for your forgiveness for the things that disappoint you. I will never do this again.”

14. “Since the day you left, my life has crumbled into pieces. I find nowhere to go, and I am so lost. I have realized that without you in my life, it’s empty and incomplete. Please come back. I promise never to break your heart again.”

15. “You know I have never been good at words. So I don’t know if I am choosing the right words or not, but I know that what I feel is true, and I am truly ashamed of what I did. I am sorry.”

16. “My life is a mess without you. How on earth did you think I could live without you being by my side? I miss your good morning messages and your good night wishes. Please forgive me.”

17. “I don’t care how many times I have to say sorry to get your apology. I will do anything to make you happy again. Please never stop loving me. I am sorry for my stupid behavior. Please respond to my text message and let me prove it.”

18. “Before meeting you, I never knew life could be this beautiful. And now, when you are mad at me, there is nothing in this world that makes me happy. All I want is another chance.”

19. “I didn’t know my words would only push you further away. Please forgive me. Just give me one more chance to right my mistake. And I promise, my love, you won’t ever regret doing that.”

20. “My love, I just wanted to let you know that there is nothing in this world that is more dear to me than you are. I know things are not good between us right now, but I know that the love between us will not let you stay angry. I am sorry.”

Final Words

No matter the wrongdoings you may have done, don’t hesitate to use one of the great apology paragraphs from this list to say sorry and ask for forgiveness.

Your sincere apology paragraph will be much appreciated and will definitely get you closer to being forgiven.

Until next time!

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Shrinking around: Should you stay faithful to your therapist in August?

"if i'd known it would be so helpful, i might have shrunk around sooner", by susan shapiro.

The whole country's having a mental health crisis over political unrest, foreign wars and climate disasters , all while your therapist — like most in the profession — is away for the month of August . For an urban shrinkaholic like me, being forced off the couch for four weeks can be a scary proposition. If you're anxious about your head doctor's vacation or haven't been making progress, is it wrong to soothe your psyche with someone new who is in town?

"When I go away, I make sure another doctor is covering for me and share their contact info on my phone message and out of office email," Manhattan psychiatrist Carlos Saavedra told me. "A patient's treatment plan may include medication, seeing a trauma specialist or getting more support from Twelve Step meetings, depending on an individual’s needs." But he prefers they discuss it with him first.

My addiction specialist, Dr. W, promoted this type of open relationship, as long as he was "the primary" (as polyamorists and detectives on " Law & Order: SVU " called it). Because I was having a hard time giving up cigarettes, alcohol and pot, he recommended a psychopharmacologist colleague of his, hoping antidepressant medication would ease my extreme withdrawal. It didn't.

Wellbutrin, touted as a stop-smoking aid, almost gave me seizures. The Adderall the doctor prescribed for my potential ADD turned me into a speed freak for 24 hours, proving I didn't have attention-deficit disorder . (If I did, the pills would have calmed me.) He then suggested group therapy and 12-step meetings, but they gave me flashbacks of feeling misplaced as a kid within my big boisterous family. I managed to get clean and sober, improve my career and marriage with the talking cure, preferring to confide in just one person who knew my whole history.

Yet my dependence on him backfired one August, when we had a falling out after I learned that Dr. W had lied to me  by treating someone from my life who he'd promised not to. I felt betrayed and told him that he owed me an apology. He replied, "I'm sorry for the imaginary crime you think I committed," which made me want to commit a real crime. Instead, I stopped speaking to him, ready to quit analysis altogether. But his sudden bizarre insensitivity jarred me, causing me to lose sleep and question my sanity. My crisis management strategy became my crisis. I needed a shrink to help me deal with my shrink!

If, as Erica Jong said, "every lover is a reaction against your last," so is every therapist. Dr. W — whose diploma for Ph.D. in clinical psychology hung on the wall of his office in Greenwich Village — was a father figure who I'd seen as kind of my WASP rabbi. For a fresh perspective, I called Vatsal Thakkar, a Connecticut psychiatrist with a M.D. who was younger than me and from a Hindu family. Over a few talk sessions, I chronicled Dr. W's transgression, assuming Dr. Thakkar would take my side.

I needed a shrink to help me deal with my shrink!

"It sounds like he made boundary mistakes," he told me. "But if you build up a man inappropriately, he has to fall."

"Do you mean that he's just human?" I asked. 

"When he helped you quit your addictions, you imbued him with supernatural power," he opined. 

"I did," I conceded. "It felt like magic."

"If he was kind and helpful to you for a long time, his recent behavior is uncharacteristic," Dr. Thakkar calmly said. "What if there's something you can't see that would solve the mystery of why he changed?" He offered the metaphor of a commuter who was angry that a woman in front of him had stopped her SUV in the middle of the street to get something in her backseat. "The furious driver couldn't see that her infant was choking."

The comparison was oddly apt. Not long later, Dr. W emailed me to apologize. His wife had been very sick in the hospital, he admitted, saying he'd lost a whole year. Afraid she wouldn't recover, he wasn't able to compartmentalize to do his job well. If I thought my husband was dying, I wouldn't be able to work either.

"I'm so sorry to hear that," I heard myself saying.

"I'm sure you'll write about this," he commented.

"You're not cheating on your therapist if you're honest about it."

I did. Though I ended our weekly sessions, we later co-authored an addiction book together. Our reconciliation inspired my memoir " The Forgiveness Tour ," where I quoted the wisdom Dr. Thakkar shared when he'd become my substitute guru. Ultimately, I realized that taking control of my health and well-being was my job, and looking for Dr. W's replacement saved me. If I'd known it would be so helpful, I might have shrunk around sooner. And it turned out this was a thing; some therapists even vacationed in July to fill the end of summer void.

"I encourage my patients to shop around and try other methods when I'm not available, especially if they want treatments I don't do like CBT, EMDR or grief counseling," Miami psychoanalyst Justena Kavanagh said. "Sometimes, it's helpful to get a second opinion and consider a new approach or multi-layered strategy."

She added, "You're not cheating on your therapist if you're honest about it."

"Look, I don't like when other therapists poach patients, but it's your right to explore other approaches when your regular therapist is away. You should be a smart and open-minded consumer," said Los Angeles psychotherapist and author Dennis Palumbo, who studied Buddhism and has a creative clientele. "If you're stepping out on your therapist in August, try a different modality that might offer illumination. No patient ever came back and told me, 'I liked the other guy better, goodbye.' But they have pointed out something the second therapist suggested they hadn't thought of and wanted to explore with me in September, which enhanced their treatment — and our relationship."

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Writing professor Susan Shapiro is the bestselling author of memoirs her family hates including " Five Men Who Broke My Heart ," " Lighting Up ," and most recently " The Forgiveness Tour, " just out in paperback. You can follow her on Instagram at @profsue123

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The Climate Crisis and Colonialism Destroyed My Maui Home. Where We Must Go From Here

A s I watched the flames of the wildfires consume my beloved Maui, it felt as if the very pages from the Book of Revelations were coming alive.

Homes, sacred structures, and institutions flattened. Over 100 lives were lost, with a thousand more unaccounted for. Even the ancient 150-year-old Banyan tree, a guardian of my youth, was marred by the inferno. Each ember seemed to tell a tale, a memory, a piece of a narrative that connected countless generations.

The harrowing wildfires paired with a fierce hurricane wasn't just a tragedy. It felt like Goddess Papahānaumoku—Earth Mother, herself—raging at humanity's hubris. The disturbing silence left by the missing and the mourned souls tells of a disaster that's unnatural, shaped by the human hand—a byproduct of the dangerous dance between climate change and centuries of colonial greed.

While West Maui is no stranger to wildfires, the magnitude of the blaze that tore through Lāhainā is emblematic of a changing climate. Our once-wetland haven has been transformed into a vulnerable tinderbox. Compounding the problem was Hurricane Dora— made fiercer by the warming climate—which propelled the fire further. All of this underscores a painful truth: the first and most severely impacted by the climate crisis are often indigenous, Black, brown, and low-income communities. These groups have contributed the least to climate change, but have suffered the most, and must be prioritized in our transition to a better world.

We can't ignore the scars of history which set the stage for this disaster. Before the hotels, before Hawaii was known as a state or even a territory (and way before its illegal annexation), Lāhainā was the cradle of our civilization. It was the heart and capital of the Hawaiian Kingdom. The waters were so abundant that boats once surrounded the iconic Waiola Church. Kamehameha The Great’s palace stood tall at the town’s center, keeping watch over the shoreline.

Read More: The History Lost in the Maui Wildfires But at the turn of the 20th century, American sugar barons came to exploit Hawaii's rich resources . They disrupted Lahaina's water supply and brought highly flammable grasses to Hawaii—the very ones that ignited with ferocity last week. Their heirs went on to monopolize land, marginalizing our indigenous population in the process.

Their legacy and extractive way of life endures. Maui’s most dominant corporations today, like Alexander & Baldwin, embody the legacy of those same barons who once sought to profit from our fertile lands. Their ethos of extraction and destruction persists in Maui’s most dominant industries: land speculation and tourism. These industries seek to destroy much of Hawaii’s natural beauty while gatekeeping sections of it for the privileged few. This timeline of Hawaiian history could be experienced first hand by a walk down Lāhinā’s Front Street just two weeks ago. You could see milestones of our history represented in the street’s restaurants, stores, and historic buildings: from royalty, to whaling, sugar, tourism, and luxury. Today, much of Front Street is burned to the ground. It’s a potent and harrowing reminder of the terminal point of the exploitative trajectory Hawaii has been on for decades. My greatest fear is that this trajectory of exploitation will continue in the recovery from the Maui wildfires. As whispers of reshaping Lāhainā emerge, with wealthy developers eager to mold it to their vision, our generation’s vision for social and environmental justice grows even firmer. Our recovery from the wildfires can’t just be about combating climate change—it has to be about returning control of our cherished lands to the people who hold them dear.

Read More: Why the History of Hawaii Makes People Fear Lahaina's Future

The future of Maui should be more than just a haven for tourists. Our land should cater to local needs over external desires. Instead of vast monocrops, we should diversify, nurturing fields that feed our own people. Our approach to housing must be rooted in necessity: We need to build homes to actually shelter our people, not to line the pockets of distant investors. With the Department of Hawaiian Homes fully funded for the first time and various land trusts eager to lend a hand, the moment is ripe to provide our many unsheltered Kānaka Maoli with homes that dignify their heritage.

The people of Maui, especially survivors, are taking charge of the recovery process, reshaping the blueprint for our island's restoration. We're picturing a community-driven, just recovery that not only reconstructs Maui but also fosters new leadership among Maui residents—from collaboratively rebuilding a school one day to advocating at the county council the next. As we rise from the ashes, our rebuilding efforts must champion hoʻomana Lāhui—the spirit of collective empowerment.

At the national level, it's past time for President Biden to officially recognize the climate crisis by declaring a climate emergency. This would enable him to halt the destructive fossil fuel production driving these disasters. Furthermore, substantial federal investments on the scale of trillions are required to prevent catastrophes like this one in the future and prioritize the welfare of working families in mitigation and recovery efforts. Any climate solution would be incomplete without justice at its core. Kānaka Maoli, Native Hawaiians, should be central to the rebuilding and recovery efforts. We should have the authority to manage our lands and resources.

In these heartrending times, it's challenging to see beyond the immediate pain. But there’s a silver lining in our resilience. The wildfires of Maui, while devastating, have also ignited a spark in us. They’ve awakened a renewed commitment to not just rebuild, but to redefine what Hawaii stands for. This is our home, our history, our legacy. And it's our collective responsibility to ensure that Hawaii’s future is carved out of respect, understanding, and love for its past.

Just like the Banyan tree, Lāhainā may have faced devastation, but its roots are deep and resilient. As the Banyan regrows its branches—and recolors itselves with budding leaves—so too, will Lāhainā flourish again.

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Guest Essay

Democrats Have Needed Someone Like Tim Walz for Decades

By Sarah Smarsh

Ms. Smarsh is a journalist and the author of the forthcoming book “Bone of the Bone: Essays on America by a Daughter of the Working Class.”

Sometimes on our farm a nice car would roll up the gravel driveway and a man in a slick suit would get out. He would either be trying to sell us something overpriced that we’d never buy, because of our limited means and common sense, or trying to buy something we’d never sell — namely land, about which my grandfather said, “You don’t get rid of it, because they don’t make any more of it.”

This man would shake our hands before driving off.

“Better count your fingers,” Grandpa Arnie would tell us and laugh.

I’ve shared the story before to explain the gulf I’ve long felt between the essence of the rural white working poor who raised me — honest, flawed people who would welcome just about anyone into our home but a liar — and the red-hatted-fool avatar they’ve been assigned in national discourse.

What a relief, then, to see emerge on the national stage the Minnesota governor and Democratic vice-presidential candidate Tim Walz, who embodies the earnest, humane, rural people who shaped me and the prairie populism that shaped the progressive foundations of the Great Plains.

Mr. Walz went to a state college, taught public high school and went into government — more than a couple of class rungs above my grandfather, who in the 1940s left school after sixth grade to work the Kansas wheat fields with his German American dad.

But when Mr. Walz smiles and his eyes disappear into a good-natured squint — say, while holding a piglet like a baby at a state fair — I see Grandpa Arnie.

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