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19 Real World Break-Up Letter Examples to Give You Closure

No matter why you're breaking up, there are some things you can say to make things go a little smoother.

Kate is an experienced writer who has written hundreds of articles for publication.

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No one loves ending a relationship, but writing a break-up letter to someone can help bring closure to the situation. In some cases, it can even take the place of a face-to-face break-up.

However, this is a sensitive situation, and it's easy to get lost in your emotions and lose track of what you want to say (or say something you might later regret). It can help a lot to look at a good example letter and use it to inspire your own words to end the relationship. Learn how to write a break-up letter for all kinds of situations like lost love, cheating, and finding someone new.

Break-Up Letters for Lost Love

When you fall out of love , it's time to let go. Try to get your point across as gently as you can with a break-up letter like this one.

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Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me

I'll always have a special place in my heart for you. At times, our relationship felt like it was the best thing that had ever happened to me, but lately, everything has felt wrong. It pains me to admit this, but my love for you has faded away.

I can't stay in a relationship where there is no love, and it isn't fair to you to be stuck in a relationship that's a lie. I hope you're able to move on and meet someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. Sincerely,

Love Doesn't Follow Rules

Love doesn't follow any rules. It comes and it goes as it pleases. Unfortunately, my love for you is gone, and I don't think it will come back. I know it's hard to hear, but the least I can give you now is honesty. I hope you can move on with strength and purpose.

All the Best,

It can feel awkward to figure out how to start a break-up letter, but just keep it simple. Use the person's name, and add "dear" if that feels natural.

Break-Up Letters to Someone You Still Love Who's Hurt You

Writing a break-up letter to someone you love often takes on a more sad, emotional tone. Sometimes you have strong feelings of love for someone, but they've hurt you through their words or actions - and you come to realize that the relationship just doesn't work. If this is the case, you can write a goodbye break-up letter that shares the love and emotions you have or had for the person, but still lets them know you need to move on.

I Love You, But I Need to Move On

My Dearest Taylor,

As I write, I wish we didn't have to say goodbye. You brought me a joy like no other person ever could at a time I needed it most. You brought out the best in me by simply being you. Your love has lifted me to the greatest heights imaginable.

However, I am deeply hurt, and it's time for me to move on. My heart will undoubtedly be scarred because we can't be together. I don't think I'll ever find a love as true as ours, and I'm not sure I ever want to try.

I've given you my heart, but the love I have for you can't change the hurt. Even though we can't be together, our love was real, and I don't think I'll ever love anyone else the way I've loved you.

• 3 Tips on What to Say When You Want to Break Up

Thank You for Showing Me Love

There may be billions of people in the universe, but none will ever shine brighter than you. When the night skies were filled with darkness, your love will would always shine.

But despite the incredible love we've shared, I've realized I just can't get past the way you've hurt me, and it's best for us to go our separate ways. Thank you for showing me what love was meant to be. It breaks my heart to end this, but it's time for me to go.

Goodnight and goodbye,

Goodbye Letters for When You Find Someone New

If someone else has captured your heart, be honest with your partner and make a clean break. A letter worded like those below will help you do it as kindly as possible, even if the other person feels it's a sad break-up letter.

Not Fair to You

Dear Aidan, It's not easy to tell you this, but I recently began spending some time with someone from work. You don't know them, but over the course of the last few weeks, I've realized we have a connection I can no longer pretend doesn't exist.

It's not fair to you for me to pretend our relationship is going to work when I know in my heart my attention is elsewhere. You deserve someone who will love you, and only you, and I know you will find someone who will treat you right.

I'll always remember our time together as a special time in my life. I hope you can forgive me and realize my leaving is the best thing for everyone involved. Sincerely,

I've Made a Mistake

I've made a mistake, and it's not easy to admit. I let my emotions wander to someone new. I should have been focused on our relationship, but another person captured my heart.

I want you to know my actions have nothing to do with you. I've enjoyed our time together and appreciate what you've given to me. You were filling my cup, but for some reason I never felt full. I wish for you to carry on being you; it will be exactly what another person needs.

Best wishes,

• 17 Long Breakup Text Examples With Honesty & Tact

Break-Up Letters to Someone That Cheated

Nothing kills a relationship quicker than infidelity. If you discover your partner's been cheating, you can write a letter that leaves no room for doubt that it's over.

I'm Terribly Hurt

You may not realize I know what you have been up to. I'm terribly hurt, and I can't ignore the fact your attentions have turned to someone else.

We're over. We have to be. It's going to take me time to heal from this, but that's something I need to do without you in my life. Marie

I'm Devastated

Harper, I know you've been cheating. I thought I meant something to you, but obviously, our relationship is not enough for you. Even though I'm devastated, I never want to see you again. Please don't call me or text me. Goodbye, Blake

• 90+ Breakup Captions to Help You Get Over Your Ex

Letters for Long Distance Relationship Failures

Long-distance relationships are tough, and sometimes they don't work out even if no one is at fault. If you want to try to stay on good terms, say goodbye to your partner with a letter which ends the romance but still leaves an opportunity to remain friends.

Just Too Much

Dear Will, I thought I could handle a long distance relationship, but I'm afraid this is just too much. I spend so much time worrying about what you're doing, who you're doing it with, and if you even think of me. That's not your fault; it's just part of this whole distance thing. Our relationship might have had a fighting chance if a great deal of distance wasn't involved. I have to let you go so we are both free to move on with our lives. I hope we can remain friends, and I hope you agree this is the best decision for the both of us. Fondly, Christina

Here as Your Friend

Dear June, I love you so much, and that's why it's become too hard to maintain our relationship long-distance. It's just too hard not being able to hold you, spend time with you, and just see your face. We both know chatting online and talking on the phone is a poor substitute for time spent together. If we can't be together in person, then I don't think I want to be together at all. It's too much to bear. We have to end things so we can start healing our hearts and move on with our lives. This isn't easy for me, and I can't imagine it's easy for you either. I'm here as your friend always. Derek

Letters to End Abusive Relationships

No one should have to put up with abuse. You should end the relationship immediately with a letter that slams the door on any chance of reconciliation.

If you are in an abusive relationship, consider placing a call to the National Domestic Violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233. Many people need support leaving abusive relationships and figuring out next steps.

The Way You Treat Me Is Wrong

Karen, The way you treat me is wrong, and we both know that. I'm not sure why you treat the people you love like you do. If you keep going this way, you're going to find yourself alone. I'll no longer take your abuse. I did love you at one time, but those feelings are long forgotten. Don't try to contact me because we are completely over, and I will never speak to you again. Neil

Not Fair to Me

Steven, I refuse to live in fear of someone who is supposed to be my protector. I tried to make our relationship work, but your abuse is too much for anyone to handle. It's not fair to me to have to endure your wild mood swings and temper. The way you treat me is not the way you should treat someone you love. I respect myself enough to say goodbye to you. Make no mistake about it - we are finished. Have a good life, Carol

Letters for Break-Ups Over Money Matters

Whether you're in a relationship with a gold digger or someone who is a walking financial disaster, one of these letters will help you regain control of your heart and your bank account.

I Believed You Loved Me for Me

Lisa, When we first met, I believed you loved me for me. After having been with you for a few months, I feel like the only thing you want from me is my money. I know this may be painful to hear, but it's important for me to say. I hope you find what you're looking for someday. So long, Keith

I Need to Be With Someone Responsible

Jim, I've tried so many times to help you dig yourself out of your financial problems, but unless you're willing to make big changes to how you spend your money, you'll never get out of trouble with your money. I'm not so shallow to think money is the only thing, but I am realistic enough to know I can never have a future with you where we buy a home together or even go on a vacation because you won't be able to afford either at the rate you're going. If you're not ready to make changes to the way you handle your money, we can't be together anymore. I need to be with someone who is responsible enough to handle his business and pay his bills. Goodbye, Roz

Letters for Differences in Hopes and Dreams

It's possible to care for someone deeply and still find yourselves heading down different paths in life. Break up with a letter that states the truth but still shows you respect and care about your soon-to-be former partner.

We Have to Be Realistic

Dear Mark, We have to be realistic when we look at our potential future together. After we had talked about our plans for the next few years, it became obvious to me (and probably to you too) that our futures just don't align. We want different things, and this is just too much to ignore. It's best we part now and learn to live without each other instead of going on together knowing it will someday end. I hate that it has to be this way, but I can't disregard my hopes and dreams for the future. I also know you would not be happy if you gave up your dreams for me either. Even though it hurts right now, this is what's best for the both of us. I'll always love you. Laura

It's Better We End It Now

Dear Shari, You are an amazing person. I have always been able to envision a future with you, and I know we could have been happy together if circumstances were different. When we talk about a long-term relationship and maybe marrying someday and raising children, we inevitably begin discussing our spiritual beliefs, and it's obvious we're just too different. I would never ask you to resign your beliefs, just as I know you would never ask me to give up mine. For this reason, we can't realistically have a future together. It's better we end it now. I will always remember you as a wonderful person, and I'll always have a special place for you in my heart. Please remember me fondly. Griffin

Break-Up Notes for Career Changes

If you feel like you're playing second fiddle to your partner's career and you've had enough, it may be time to get out of the relationship. Depending on the circumstances, one of these letters should serve as an example of how to set yourself free.

I Know You'll Go Far

Dear Kevin, I am so proud of the things you've accomplished with your career. You've worked so hard to get where you are, and I've always admired how you pursue your dreams. Your promotion was no surprise because you certainly deserve to get promoted. Your relocation, however, came as a bit of a shock to me. You and I never discussed maintaining a relationship long-distance, and it's not something I feel able to do. It's best we say goodbye to each other so you can be free to pursue your career. I know you'll go far, and I hope you will always remember me as one of your biggest cheerleaders. Love always, Shelly

Always Hoped You Loved Me More

Dear Keri, I can no longer accept being second-best behind your career. I understand you love your job, but I guess I just always hoped you loved me more. I'm letting you go so you're free to work to your heart's content. It's not what I wanted, but it's what best for the both of us. From here, it feels like your work may be costing you relationships with people who truly love you, but there may be someone out there who has different expectations for work-life balance than I do. Goodbye, Anne

Break-Up Paragraph for When There's No Reason

You don't always know why it's time to end things, but it can still be the right decision. Explain that this is the right choice for you without going into details about why.

Dear Ellen,

I'm really sorry, but our relationship has simply run its course for me. I don't want to hurt you, but I feel certain breaking up is the only choice. I want you to know that you're amazing in so many ways, and you deserve to be in a relationship with someone who wants it just as much as you do. I hope you will be happy again.

Basics of What to Include in a Break-Up Note

There aren't any rules for what needs to be in a break-up letter, but it's mostly about what you think the other person will need to hear or what you might need to say. Ultimately, everyone has common questions when they receive this type of letter, and if you can answer those right away in your note, it will give you both closure. Keep these tips in mind for what to include:

• Your decision - Your letter needs to include a statement about wanting to break up. This should feel like a final decision when someone reads it.
• The reason - You don't have to include the reason for the break-up, but it's nice if you can. This helps the other person understand your decision and process.
• Something positive - A break-up is a hard thing to read about, and you can soften the blow by including something positive about your future ex or about the future you hope they'll have. Don't worry about this if you're very angry or if there's abuse involved, but in many situations, it can help.

What you don't include in a break-up message also matters. If possible, try to avoid making assumptions about your future ex or wishing bad things for them. Easier said than done, we know, but it's good to try.

It's Not All About the Letter

A break-up letter to your boyfriend or girlfriend will help you end the relationship with your partner, but delivering it won't be all you will need to do. Depending on the situation, you may want to talk to the person face-to-face. Since you did once care for this person, it can be sensitive to be talk to them honestly and provide some closure, but your well-being is important too. In some circumstances the best course of action might be deliver the text or letter and not engage any further.

Say goodbye the way that feels right so you'll be able to move on in your life in a positive way. Remember that even if the break-up is your choice, you'll still likely need time to process and grieve the relationship, and that's ok. Lean on people you can trust during this tough time.

10+ Break up Letter Examples

A break-up is one of the real possibilities whenever you are in a relationship. No matter how firm your relationship is, there are chances that you might want to end it. It is the saddest part of a relationship because you have to let go of someone you have shared a lot with.

Whilst it is ideal to end things face-to-face, you might not be in a position to do this, hence the need to write a break-up letter.

A break-up letter is a way of ending things and getting closure of a relationship when you cannot express yourself. This letter simply states that which you would have said to end the relationship, but now in writing. Therefore, it needs to follow the general rule of break-ups.

Break-up Letter Format

Formatting a breakup letter is pretty simple. This is because there is no defined way of writing it. However, there are aspects that the letter must address. Whilst you can manipulate how these aspects appear in your letter, you must include them. A typical breakup letter should follow this format:

• Introduction : the introduction should have a couple of lines that reveal your intention of the letter. Remember, you need to be as clear as possible about the intent of the letter.
• Specifics : after the introduction, you can go ahead and provide the details of why you are breaking up. At this stage, you don’t have to be rude to the person to whom you are writing the letter.
• Soft ending : the conclusion of the letter should appreciate the person for the time that you spent together.

Sample Letters:

Here are some samples from which you can borrow ideas of how to write different breakup letters.

The “People Change” Breakup

Many times when we were together, I believed that we shared the same goals and couldn’t think of our lives apart. You were always there for me and you challenged me to do things that improved our lives together. I still remember the day we went go-karting and we were the only guys there and we the whole track for ourselves. The fun on that day still remains in my heart.

Unfortunately, the feeling has changed, and we no longer feel the same way we did for each other. We have put our work obligations ahead of the relationship. Day by day, the drift becomes larger and this is not what I envisioned for us. I cannot say I am happy or sad about it; I think it just happens. Looking back, you were special to me and I hope I was to you. I can’t blame you because of how things have turned to be but I can’t be in it any longer that is why I’m ending the relationship.

The “Follow Your Dreams” Breakup

I know it’s a bit selfish of me, but I have received a job offer that I cannot turn down. You know how much I have been working towards my acting dream for the last decade. It has finally come and I can’t turn it down. I wish I could tag you along but I know you can’t let go of your dreams as well.

Our love was unique and I will always cherish it. I am sorry that things have come to an end. I honestly loved you and you’ll always be a great person in my heart. Don’t be mad.

The “Let’s be Friends” Breakup

I know you also have heard the same feeling that I have for quite some time now. It is strange that things couldn’t work for us as a couple, but I know we cared for each other. I appreciate all the good things you did to me and the challenges you exposed me to.

Just before I end this letter, I want to ask that we don’t create a drama out of this. I know we can be great friends. I am totally committed to making this friendship work. What we’ve shared is too much to let go just like that. Hope to chat with you soon.

Break up Letter (Templates & Examples)

How to Write a Breakup Letter?

Noting the importance of a breakup and how it affects your significant partner, you need to do it correctly. Of course, you want to be on good terms with the person with whom you are ending things. So, it is important to be kind, polite, and honest.

If you follow these steps, you will find writing a breakup letter easier than you thought:

Step 1: Deciding on a Letter

The first step is to determine if your breakup needs a letter or you can explore other means. If you are in a long-distance relationship, you just might have to use a letter to relay your breakup message. While still on it, you also need to think about the kind of letter you are going to write. The type of breakup letter you write is mainly dependent on the main reason you want to give for your breakup.

Once you have decided the type of letter, now think about how you will give the letter.

Step 2: Writing the Letter

The second, and perhaps the most important step is writing the breakup letter. Here, you will need to be as methodological as possible because everything depends on it. Here are some of the useful tips that you should use when writing the letter:

1. Be honest

You need to be honest about the intention of the letter. You should not be ambiguous about what you are writing. For example, you should come out clear and say that the intention of the letter is to end the relationship. 

2.Explain the specifics

You need to explain to your partner the reason why you are ending the relationship. Having open communication may hurt but it removes the anxiety of not knowing what happened wrong. You should be able to let your partner know what they did wrong or what you did wrong that has contributed to the ending of the relationship.

When writing a breakup letter, you should be as kind as possible. Even if the other person has caused harm to you, there is no need to be disrespectful when writing a breakup letter. Just let the other person know that you valued them and things couldn’t work because of the reasons you provided.

Key consideration:

Now that you already know how to write a breakup letter, it is essential to remember how kindness is to the whole process. Always remember that human beings have feelings and you need to consider how the other person will feel as your write to them.

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How to Word Break Up Letter (Expert Examples)

It is never easy to draft the perfect break up letter. One can never seem to get the right words to convey their emotions, especially when finding the right words means that the experience will be less damaging for the parties involved. It is easier for one to lose track of what they want to say in such situations; therefore, drafting writing a break up letter is the best idea. Break up letters give you the time to sit and compose your words carefully and thoughtfully in a way that an emotional conversation might not allow.

If you are not able to draft the right words to break up with someone gently, it is good to look at a great example and use it to help you in drafting the perfect break up letter. Here are a few samples of different types of breakups you can use.

The “People Change” Break up

At one point in my life, I was convinced that we were the same person, and I could not get enough of you. You always challenged me far more than I could give, and I was good for it. I still remember that night we stayed up all night on the beach, and you assured me that I was special to you even though we had just met. I still believe you meant every word of it.

Unfortunately, it is not like that anymore. We don’t feel the same way for each other. We are more of each other after work obligations. A friend that you promised to see but hoped would cancel. I find no joy in it, and it isn’t the kind of relationship I envisioned. I am neither mad nor happy about it. I will always look back on what we had as something beautiful in my heart, but we did not sacrifice to keep it that way. However, I am not blaming you or me. It is what it is, and that’s why it is over.

The Disrespectful Breakup

This type of letter is usually sent for nasty breakups, usually due to lies or cheating . The point of the break up letter is not to take any unnecessary digs- it is about holding the other party accountable for betraying your trust. Write this letter to yourself without regarding the other party. This break up letter is to acknowledge that the other party’s actions did hurt you and that you have moved on.

Obviously, you are aware this relationship is over, but that is not the reason I’m writing. I’m writing because there was a lot of yelling during our last meeting, and I didn’t get a chance to speak out mind, or rather I didn’t say it in the way I intended to. I loved you, but you betrayed my trust and really hurt my feelings. Honestly, I feel like I’m going to be messed up forever by this. I think you understand how that feels.

For the sake of our love for each other, you should’ve at least walked out, because then, I could have handled it even though it would’ve sucked. But instead, you chose to lie repeatedly. For how long?

The guy I fell for would have treated me with more decency. Sincerely, I don’t care if you read this, but I hope you do for the sake of whomever you’ll end up with.

The “Follow your Dreams” Break up

Dear Brian,

I know this sounds cliché, but it is not about you, it is about me. I got my dream job offer, and I must take it. You know I have been working towards this opportunity for the last eight years. You were with me for the better part of it. I would have tagged you along, but it is not your path. You can’t just leave behind everything you have worked for to follow me. It will not be fair to you. Also, I can’t assure you that I will be able to give you everything you need.

Love is all about timing, at least 90% of it, and that feels right for now. I am sorry that this is the way things happened, and I’m not just saying that. I loved you, and you will always do. Please don’t be mad at me.

The One-Sided Break up

I don’t know of a better way to say this, but I’m just not feeling what we have anymore. At first, I thought it was what I wanted, but it’s not. You are a good person. You are intelligent, attractive, kind, but the zing, passion, or spark is just missing.

I know it came as a surprise, and I can’t express how sorry I am. If you look at us on paper, we as a couple make sense, but we both know that is not how love functions. I can’t do this any longer. We need to follow separate paths and move on. Should you have any questions, please ask right away, but after that, we can’t keep on communicating.

The “Let’s Be Friends” Break up

Dear Elvis,

I am sure you anticipated this; we talked about it several times. Strange how things work out that way sometimes. I want you to know that I cared for you, but this feels right. I appreciate everything. I really mean it, and I’m excited for what life gives us next.

Before I sign off, I want to say, let’s not make it bizarre. I meant every word when I said I just want us to be friends. I intend to make this work. I know everyone says they will, but eventually, everything feels weird about it and let go. What we share is too good to let that happen. Anyway, chat soon.

Free Templates

Final Words

Writing a break up letter to someone can not only help in bringing closure to the situation but can also take the place of a face-to-face breakup. Break up letters are also a great way of expressing yourself in situations where you weren’t allowed to. When one is filled with emotions, it is always hard for one to get out what they need to say. Remember that the most important thing when writing the break up letter is conveying exactly what’s in your heart and letting the other party know how you feel and why you are ending the relationship with them.

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Break-Up Letter for The Declaration of Independence

In this activity, activity overview, template and class instructions, more storyboard that activities, this activity is part of many teacher guides, like this lesson plan copy it now.

The Declaration of Independence is, in essence, a break-up letter from the thirteen colonies to England. It has a very set form: it begins with a declaration of rights; it establishes how England should have treated them; then it moves on to the grievances that have led to this document; and finally, it ends with a formal declaration of independence. Students can connect to the idea of a “break-up letter” by writing their own.

Have students imagine it is their senior year of high school, and they are breaking up with their school. Have them craft a letter that:

• Declares their rights
• Outlines what a perfect relationship with the school should have been like
• Lists three grievances against the school that has “messed up” the relationship
• Ends with a formal declaration of independence from the school, and what it means for the future

(These instructions are completely customizable. After clicking "Copy Activity", update the instructions on the Edit Tab of the assignment.)

Student Instructions

Create a storyboard crafting a break up letter to your high school using the structure of the Declaration of Independence .

• Click "Start Assignment".
• In the first cell, create a declaration of rights.
• In the second cell, outline what the relationship should have been like.
• In the third cell, list three grievances against the recipient.
• In the fourth cell, formally declare your independence from the school.
• Create illustrations for each cell using appropriate scenes, characters, and items.
• Save and exit when you're done.

Lesson Plan Reference

Grade Level 9-10

Difficulty Level 3 (Developing to Mastery)

Type of Assignment Individual or Partner

Type of Activity: Modern Day Adaptations: Parody and Satire

Declaration of Independence

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How To Write A Breakup Letter: Tips, Tricks, and Examples

Who among us hasn’t found themselves at a loss for words when it’s time to say goodbye? You’re not alone if you’ve struggled to articulate your feelings during a breakup.

We’ll arm you with tips, tricks, and examples to help you craft a compassionate, clear, and concise breakup letter that conveys your intentions without inflicting unnecessary harm.

Stay tuned to discover how to write a breakup letter with grace and dignity.

Table of Contents

Understanding the Purpose of a Breakup Letter

Before diving into the art of penning a breakup letter, it’s crucial for you to grasp its real purpose. A breakup letter isn’t just a tool to end a relationship, it’s a medium of expressing your feelings and thoughts in a well-thought-out, respectful manner. It’s your chance to put closure to a chapter in your life, allowing you to move forward.

You’re not writing this letter to hurt the other person’s feelings, or to vent your anger. Instead, it serves as a platform to communicate that you’ve given this decision serious thought and it’s not just a spur-of-the-moment action. It’s about acknowledging the good times, appreciating the lessons learned, and expressing your desire to part ways amicably.

Essential Components of a Breakup Letter

When crafting a breakup letter, it’s essential to include certain key elements to convey your message effectively and respectfully. Your letter should start with a clear statement of intent—don’t beat around the bush. Be upfront and direct about your decision to end the relationship.

Then, provide the reasons for the breakup. This doesn’t mean you need to list every flaw or disagreement, but you should give a general idea of why you feel the relationship isn’t working. This can help the other person understand your decision and begin to process it.

Another crucial component is acknowledging the good times. Even though you’re ending things, it’s important to recognize the positive moments you’ve shared. This helps to soften the blow and show that you value the time you spent together.

The Art of Being Compassionate

In writing a breakup letter, it’s crucial to be compassionate, considering the other person’s feelings while expressing your own. You’re not just ending a relationship, you’re impacting someone’s emotions. Use gentle words and avoid blaming language. It’s not about pointing out their shortcomings, but communicating your feelings and reasons for wanting to move on.

Remember, compassion is about empathy and respect. Don’t just think about how you feel; try to imagine yourself in their shoes. How would you want to receive such news? Be kind and considerate, but also be honest. Sugarcoating or lying won’t do either of you any good.

While it’s important to be clear about your decision, it’s just as essential to deliver the message with dignity. You once cared for this person, perhaps you still do, just not in the same way. Let your letter reflect that. It’s okay to express sorrow over the end of the relationship, but avoid overly emotional language.

Practical Breakup Letter Writing Tips

Moving on to crafting the actual letter, it’s key to keep some practical tips in mind to ensure your message is clear, respectful, and considerate.

Start with a gentle yet firm opening; you’re not here to sugarcoat the reality, but you also don’t want to be overly harsh. It’s a delicate balance. Use simple, straightforward language to express your feelings. Avoid blaming language or harsh criticism; this isn’t the place for that.

Next, be specific about your reasons for ending the relationship. It doesn’t have to be a laundry list of faults, but you should provide enough detail to make your intentions clear. This isn’t about blaming, it’s about honesty.

Always, always, always be respectful. Remember, this person was once a significant part of your life. Make sure your words reflect that, even if the relationship didn’t work out.

Lastly, close on a positive note if possible. Wish them well, express hope for their future, and make it clear there’s no ill-will. This can go a long way in providing closure for both of you.

Real-Life Breakup Letter Examples

Drawing from real-life examples can dramatically illustrate how to pen a thoughtful and respectful breakup letter. Let’s start with an example from a woman named Sarah. She wrote a touching letter to her boyfriend of two years. She started by acknowledging their shared memories and expressing gratitude for the love they’d experienced. She was gentle but firm, explaining that their paths were diverging.

Another example comes from John, who’d to break up with his long-distance girlfriend. He began by letting her know how much he valued their time together. He then explained that the distance had become too much to bear, and he’d decided to end the relationship. John was careful not to blame her but rather expressed his own feelings of loneliness and desire for a local relationship.

These examples show that you don’t need to be cold or harsh when ending a relationship. You can express your feelings honestly and kindly, explaining your reasons without placing blame. Remember, a breakup letter isn’t only about ending a relationship, but also about expressing respect and care for the other person’s feelings.

Frequently Asked Questions

What should be the ideal length of a breakup letter.

Your breakup letter’s length isn’t as important as its clarity. It’s crucial to be concise yet thorough. Usually, a few paragraphs should suffice to express your feelings, reasons, and wishes for the future clearly.

How to Handle the Emotional Distress While Writing a Breakup Letter?

When handling emotional distress while penning a breakup letter, it’s essential to stay calm and composed. Take breaks if you’re overwhelmed, and don’t rush it. Remember, it’s a step towards your personal healing and growth.

Should I Include How I Plan to Move on After the Breakup in the Letter?

You shouldn’t necessarily include your plans to move on in the letter. It’s about ending things respectfully, not about your future without them. Keep it focused on the breakup, not what’ll happen afterwards.

Is It Appropriate to Add Humor in a Breakup Letter?

While it’s crucial to keep a breakup letter respectful, a touch of humor can lighten the mood. However, don’t use it excessively or offensively. It’s about making the process easier, not belittling the relationship.

Can a Breakup Letter Be Used as a Tool of Manipulation?

You shouldn’t use a breakup letter as a manipulation tool. It’s meant to clearly express your feelings, not to control or hurt someone. Using it wrongly could cause more harm than good. Be considerate and sincere.

Writing a breakup letter isn’t easy, but it’s a respectful way to end a relationship. Remember, it’s about expressing feelings honestly, not blaming or hurting.

Keep it compassionate, concise, and clear. Use our tips and examples as a guide to craft a letter that’s sincere, kind, and respectful.

It’s a delicate art, but with thought and care, you can communicate your decision in a way that minimizes pain and provides closure for both of you.

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How to Write a Breakup Letter: 27 Examples to Help You Out

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In This Article

If you are looking for how to write a breakup letter to someone you love, the chances are that your relationship is on the verge of ending.

No one ever thinks about ending their relationship at the onset. We all believe we can make a relationship worth it, but we can do little when it seems like a breakup is inevitable. A breakup can be exhaustive and daunting for the couple, but it happens anyway due to different reasons. 

The worst part of a breakup is a lack of closure. Not knowing why your partner decides to end the relationship is more challenging to deal with than the actual affair. When a breakup is imminent, partners need to understand the reason behind the breakup and why it is in their best interest. 

No matter how hard it is, the couple should know how to write a breakup letter and express their feelings either through the internet or face-to-face. No worse event can happen than your breakup, but the closure will help the two of you heal quickly. 

Even when you have a lot to say, it is challenging to know what to say to break up with someone. Thankfully, there is a guide on writing breakup love letters you can write to someone you love.

How to write a breakup letter: 5 helpful tips

Breaking up by letter can be a difficult and sensitive task. It’s important to approach it with empathy, clarity, and respect. The specificity of your situation might change the tone, content, and form that you want to employ while writing such a letter.

Here are five tips to help you write a considerate breakup letter:

1. Choose the right format and medium

Begin by considering whether a handwritten letter or a thoughtful electronic message might be the best way to convey your feelings. Your choice of medium will help set the tone for the conversation.

2. Be honest and direct

Honesty is the foundation of any meaningful connection. Approach this conversation with openness and directness.

According to marriage & family therapist  Lisa Seid :

Writing a breakup letter can be healing for both you and your soon-to-be ex because it gives you both an opportunity to reflect on yourselves and get a sense of what you each might be ultimately looking for in a long-term partner. 

By sharing your thoughts and feelings sincerely in a letter to break up with someone you love or have loved in the past, you’re allowing both of you to understand and grow from this experience.

3. Use compassionate language

Words hold immense power, especially during moments like this. Let empathy and compassion guide your language. Make an effort to express yourself kindly and considerately, keeping in mind that your intention is to communicate rather than to hurt.

4. Express gratitude and good memories

Acknowledge the beauty of the journey you’ve shared. Reflect on the positive memories you’ve woven together and express your gratitude for the moments that have enriched both of your lives. This acknowledgment can help soften the impact of your decision.

5. Offer space and closure

Recognize the importance of granting space for healing. Extend your understanding and let the other person know that their feelings matter. While you’re open to future conversations, a breakup letter to someone you love can underscore the significance of both of you having the time and distance needed to heal.

25 breakup letters to someone you loved

Writing a breakup letter is not easy. Research conducted into written communication indicates that it has been used for centuries, but it requires clarity, familiar words, and logical presentation. 

So, learn how to write a breakup letter with us. Here is a list of different ways to end a relationship nicely and what to say when breaking up with someone you love:

When you are in a long-distance relationship

If you are breaking up because of distance but are still in love with your partner, it is important to understand how to write a breakup letter that conveys your feelings aptly. The sad breakup letters examples here can help you decide what to say when breaking up with someone.

• My dear (Name)

For a few days now, something has been bothering me, and I think I should inform you. I was okay with our long-distance because I believed we could cope and overcome any challenges. Unfortunately, I was wrong. I spend most of my days and time missing and waiting to hear from you. 

When I don’t get any response from you, I keep wondering about all the possible reasons why you haven’t responded. I can’t keep living my life hoping and waiting, as it has taken a toll on my mental health.

Please understand that this message is coming from a place of love. I will always cherish the sweet memories we had together.

• Dearest (Name)

Before I say anything, I must let you know our relationship has been the most important to me, and I respect and love you so much. But I think you need to know about my honest thoughts in their entirety. 

The thought of us being together has been the only thing on my mind, but knowing you live miles away breaks my heart. We might have spent hours on Skype and Facetime, but the truth is it can’t be compared to seeing you in person and holding you. 

I can’t continue to bear this pain. We should go our separate ways. It is hard, but I believe we will be okay eventually.

I wish you the best of luck in your affairs.

• Dear (Name)

For years now, I have held on to the love we have, thinking and hoping we will be together one day. But as it appears, I see no hope for us. You should know it breaks my heart knowing I can’t see you face-to-face or know of any plan to make it work.

(Name), I’m guessing that you must have been feeling the same way. Therefore, I would like us to end the relationship while we still care and respect each other.

I hope you find the perfect love partner in the future.

When your love has faded

There are times when the sparks that used to be in your relationship disappear. Experts have observed that the love between the couple progressively fades in these instances until there is nothing left to salvage.

Writing a breakup letter to end the relationship nicely is the best. Here is another breakup letter for you. If your love has faded and you don’t know what to say to break up with someone, use the following ‘breaking up with someone you love letter:

A lot has changed between us since we began dating, and I am sure you must have noticed. I cherish you a lot, but I do not feel any romantic love for you anymore. 

I’m sorry our relationship has to end because our deep connection has faded over time. Letting our relationship go on like this will be unfair to both of us. You deserve someone who can love you.

I feel we should break up to give ourselves the chance to be truly happy once again.

Best of luck in your future endeavors.

Undoubtedly, our relationship is one of the best, but unfortunately, I don’t feel the bond we used to share. Nothing is predictable, and I think our relationship has come to that phase where we have to make a huge decision. I no longer have feelings for you as I did. 

I can’t pinpoint the exact reason for this, and it is certainly not you. But I still feel that I should be honest with you. I think we both deserve more than a forced relationship. Therefore, we should say goodbye to each other. 

I hope you find the best person to love you soon.

There is a saying that everything that has a beginning must surely come to an end. I never thought this statement would apply to our relationship. I have always loved you from day one, but something changed for me a few months ago. 

Unfortunately, we no longer have the emotional connection we used to have. Thus, it will help both of us if we end the relationship. But know that I will always adore the memories we made together.

Best of luck.

• My Dearest [Name],

Thinking back on our journey fills me with gratitude for the beautiful moments we’ve created. However, life has a way of guiding us, sometimes in unexpected directions. It’s with a mix of emotions that I share my belief that we should take separate paths now. Please know that my heart holds nothing but warmth for you. May your days be full of joy.

With care, 

[Your Name]

When the relationship is too complex to maintain

Another situation that warrants a breakup letter is when you have realized that the relationship is too difficult to keep. Try to learn how to write a breakup letter to end the relationship nicely. 

A study published in the Journal of Research in Personality highlights that people employed different breakup strategies in accordance with the attachment style that they shared with their partner during or towards the end of the relationship. 

Here are heartbreaking love letters when you don’t know what to say to break up with someone:

• My darling (Name)

Meeting you was the best thing that happened to me. Your love and care have helped me become the person I am today, and I will always be grateful for it. However, the relationship is not helping us, and it’s high time we accepted it. 

Waiting is no longer an option for us. I want you to know you will always be in my heart no matter where I go. I’m grateful for the part you have played in my growth, and I hope you find someone that deserves your love.

You have been a wonderful person to me ever since we started this relationship. You also have loved me deeply, and I have never doubted that. However, we both know this relationship is not good for both of us. 

I know I will never be able to look at another person the way I look at you, but this is a hard decision I have to take. I am writing this breakup letter with sadness, but it has to be. I hope you find the right person in life.

Yours sincerely,

Before I met you, I had experienced love, but I must say nothing has been close to what we have. You are like my soulmate, and for that, I will never forget you. Sadly, I feel we should end the relationship because I see no future for us. 

It’s been from one issue to the other, and it is not healthy for either of us. I am willing to endure this pain just for you and me to have some fresh air. Thank you for everything. 

Hopefully, we will meet again.

Related Reading: 200 Love Notes for Him and Her

When there is friendship but not love

Two individuals can have a great friendship but are not connected emotionally or romantically. The best is to learn how to write a breakup letter if you don’t know what to say to break up with someone. Check below for a sad breakup letter you can use to end a relationship nicely.

You know I love you and will do anything to see you happy and satisfied. However, I have discovered my feelings for you are no different than platonic love . 

You know I care about you, but the romantic feelings between partners are not there. I guess it is because we are compatible, but I mistook it for love chemistry. 

I can confidently say I feel peaceful when I’m around you, but our spark seems to have died. Therefore, I believe we should go our separate ways. You have been a wonderful friend.

The other day, when we went out, I realized we understood each other so much that we did things effortlessly. You know me more than anyone, and I can say the same for you. 

However, we don’t have romantic love for each other. We thought our compatibility was a sign of love, but it wasn’t. Hence, we should end it now before we hurt each other. 

When you have fallen in love with someone else

One of the most damaging things to hear is that your partner is in love with another person. Sadly, it does happen. 

Studies have shown that despite attempts by individuals to regulate feelings of love, they often are violated.

However, it is best to learn how to write a breakup letter that would try to explain the situation to them with clarity and empathy. If this is your situation, and you know how to break up with someone in a friendly way, check the following sad breakup letters.

Writing this letter is hard for me, but there is no better way of doing it. (Name), I have fallen in love with another person, and we have decided to get into a relationship. I honestly do not know how it happened, but I see this person as my partner. 

As such, it does not feel right to keep you in a loveless relationship, knowing I have found another person. I know this hurts, but find a place in your heart to forgive me. 

I hope you find someone who will appreciate you for who you are.

Before I start, I know I deserve all the hate in your heart. A few months ago, I fell in love with someone I met at a seminar, and we started a relationship. I would have told you this a long time ago, but I was afraid that you might overreact.

I want you to know I have always been loyal and had your best interest at heart, but that same heart failed me. I hope you forgive me and find your true love and soulmate.

When your partner has cheated on you

 If your partner has betrayed your trust and you feel a breakup letter is the best, so be it. Sometimes, writing a goodbye letter to a cheating husband is the best decision, but you may not know what to say to break up with someone. 

Check the following example to learn how to write a breakup letter that conveys your hurt feelings while being mindful of your dignity:

From the beginning of our relationship, I have always treated you with utmost care. I love you, and I have never for once acted otherwise. However, you felt cheating on me was the right way to treat me. I can’t fight you any longer, so I have decided to end our relationship for my peace.

Good luck with your new relationship!

– (Name)

Do you think cheating on me with my best friend is the best thing? Of all the people in the world, you chose to pick my childhood friend. While I don’t know why you acted that way, I know I have to leave. 

I wish you would meet someone like you soon so you can feel the pain I have endured all this while.

When you are in an abusive relationship

When it comes to heartbreaking love letters, ending an abusive relationship with a breakup letter isn’t one of them. You deserve the best and a person that won’t hurt your mental health.

If you don’t understand how to write a breakup letter, check the following examples of what to say when breaking up with someone you love.

I have endured a lot with you, thinking you will change one day. Sadly, I was deceiving myself. The pain and abuse I went through with you are enough. I pray no one goes through the tension and humiliation I suffered in this relationship.

Bye for now! Please don’t contact me.

I thought I had found an enduring love when I first met you. However, it turns out I was wrong. Love is a beautiful thing, but you made it the harshest thing on earth for me. I hope never to meet your kind again. 

I wish all the memories we have together fade away because you are a monster among humans. Please stay away from me and never contact me.

I have known you for the whole time; it has been one painful experience or humiliation after another. I have developed anxiety due to the way you treated me. But now, I will be free. This is the end of a horrible relationship. Please don’t contact me ever! 

When you and your partner have different future plans

It’s sad to connect with someone emotionally only to discover that you have different goals. Even if love conquered all, having different aspirations might not move the relationship forward. 

The best way to deal with this situation is to write a breakup letter. Of course, it will be a bad breakup letter, but you will be making the right decision. If you don’t know what to say to break up with someone, check the following on how to write a breakup letter.

We have built an excellent relationship that has made us who we are today. Honestly, I am happy and proud of you. But we need to be sincere with each other about our future together. 

Our career paths are different, and we want different things. Therefore, we need to put an end to the relationship. You will always be the same wonderful person to me.

What we had was amazing. We love each other, but there is a problem. Our relationship seems to be in the way of our career goals. So, let’s give our story a happy ending and go our different paths. All the best for your future.

When I met you a few months ago, I was the happiest. I still am, but it looks like we both want different things in life. Sadly, it is affecting our relationship. So, I have thought about it and decided to end things here. We will still be best friends for each other.

Sincerely, 

When you are not ready to commit to your partner

If you are in a relationship with someone and not ready to commit, you should write a breakup letter. It might be a sad breakup letter, but letting your partner know about your intention will help them. If you don’t know how to write a breakup letter, check the following:

You are a wonderful person with a good heart. I understand what you want from me. But sadly, I can’t give you that. I have other commitments right now, and I wouldn’t want a clash. The best is to end the relationship right now. I hope you find the right person.

Even though you have tried your best to make this relationship work, I have realized my mind isn’t in it. It would be unfair to leave you in the dark. I am sure you will find the perfect person.

When you do not get along with your partner’s family

You might be dating only your partner, but you must also get along with his family. That is the best way the relationship can work. If you don’t, it is best to move on. Learn what to say when breaking up with someone with these heartbreaking love letters:

We have loved and cared for each other since high school. That, I can say, will never change. I was confident you were the one for me, but that seems unlikely now for some reason. I tried to get along with your family members, but all my efforts bore no fruit. 

It is not enough to love someone; the family members also have to love you. In our relationship, what we have is the opposite, and I thought the best is to go our separate ways. I’m grateful that you loved me for who I am.

Forever yours,

If you had noticed, you would have realized your family members, and I don’t get along. Last week was the worst, as I almost went crazy when they ganged up on me. 

I love you, but I can’t keep enduring their maltreatment and indignation. You are a good person, but I can’t ask you to choose between your family and me.

• Hello [Name],

I want you to understand that my heart is heavy as I write this. Our shared experiences have been nothing short of wonderful. Yet, I’m sensing the need for personal growth and change that leads me down a different road. 

Please remember that this decision doesn’t diminish the warmth I feel for you. I hope life brings you endless happiness.

Warmly, 

Watch Neuroscientist Andrew Huberman talk about the worst things that you can do after a breakup that can damage you mentally, physically, and socially:

Navigating a breakup is never easy, but expressing your feelings with care can provide closure and understanding. Here are some pressing questions that can provide you with further clarity on what it takes to write a breakup letter:

What do I say in a breakup letter?

In a breakup letter, express gratitude for the shared moments, explain the reasons behind your decision honestly yet kindly, and offer space for healing. Focus on your feelings and experiences while being empathetic.

How do I write a sad breakup letter?

Writing a sad breakup letter involves sharing your emotions openly. Express the sadness and pain you feel while also acknowledging the positive times. Be gentle yet sincere, allowing your vulnerability to show through your words.

How do you write a breakup letter to a person whom you love?

Writing a breakup letter to someone you love requires compassion. Acknowledge your deep feelings, explain your reasons with sensitivity, and express your desire for their well-being. Emphasize personal growth and change as the driving factors behind your decision.

Is it possible to remain on good terms after a breakup?

Yes, it’s possible to stay on good terms after a breakup, but it takes time and effort. Give each other space initially, communicate openly about your intentions, and focus on shared interests rather than dwelling on the past. Mutual respect and understanding can pave the way for an amicable relationship.

How do you break up with someone peacefully?

Breaking up peacefully involves choosing the right time and setting, speaking calmly and respectfully, and emphasizing your feelings rather than blaming. Listen to their response and validate their emotions. Collaborate on finding a way forward that respects both your needs and feelings.

Final thoughts

Breaking up is not easy, but writing a letter to an ex for closure is important. If you don’t understand how to write a breakup letter or you don’t know what to say when breaking up with someone you love, these heartbreaking love letters can help you write a breakup letter.

These letters can help you convey simultaneously how hard this decision has been for you and your conviction that this is the right decision for your future.

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Writing a Break Up Letter: An Anti-Valentine’s Day Activity for Middle and High ELA

Valentine’s Day is sure to be met with mixed emotions in your classroom. Although some of your students will look forward to February 14, others will celebrate when it’s over—in true Anti-Valentine’s Day fashion. Valentine’s Day is a time to celebrate love, kindness, and friendship. Regardless of how you feel personally about the annual day of love, you can make good use of these conflicting sentiments in your classroom. Writing a break-up letter or text is a Valentine’s Day activity that all of your middle or high school ELA students will love. Here are five simple steps to implementing this successfully in your classroom.

1. What Makes a Good Break-Up Letter

To begin the activity, I like to give students this question to brainstorm as a group: What makes for a good break-up letter? You might even get students to reflect on what a good vs. bad break-up looks like in general. Not only is this useful for the assignment, but it’s also an effective way to have students reflect on their own relationships. Though not the intention, you may even find that some students quite literally use this as a real-life writing exercise to end a relationship. Yes, it has happened!

During this discussion, I like to give students the opportunity to come up with their own ideas first. Then, I share with them, in some detail, what I think are important elements to a strong break-up letter or text. Here are the five elements that I focus on at outset of this activity.

• Be upfront about why you are writing the letter
• Be specific
• Try not to play the blame game
• End on a positive note

2. Learning About the Couple

If students want to use this as an opportunity to write their own break-up letters , then by all means they can! However, it is likely that most of your students will opt for a different option. To allow them to create some distance between themselves and the potentially uncomfortable task of writing a break-up letter, I tell students they can write one for a fictional couple. There are a few ways they can do this.

• Imagined couple:  For this option, students can use a fictional couple made from their own imagination.
• Famous couple : This can be a real-life famous celebrity or cartoon couple. One student even had Mickey pen a painful letter breaking up with Minnie Mouse!
• Couples from texts you are reading: Students can also feel free to choose couples from texts you are currently (or were previously) reading in class. Think Romeo and Juliet or Elizabeth Bennet and Darcy.

You might even decide to let your students write a break-up letter to something not having to do with human relationships. For example, your students’ break-up letters could be to things like breaking up with distance learning or their own bad habits!

Regardless of what they decide, I like to give students  graphic organizers   with questions that will help them develop their chosen subjects. For this, I get them to answer questions about when they met, how many years they have been together, and what each of their personalities is like. Of course, they will also need to think of the main reason for the break-up as well as who it is that wants out of this relationship!

3. Creating an Outline

Next, your students will create an outline of their Valentine’s Day break-up letter.  This is where students will give structure to their ideas (i.e. introduction, body paragraph one, body paragraph two, conclusion). They should do this while keeping in mind your previous discussion on what makes for a good break-up letter.

Writing a break-up letter is not just meant to be a fun Valentine’s Day ELA activity, but also one that hopefully develops students’ writing at the same time. I find that getting students to create an outline is an effective way of making sure that they are getting the most out of the activity.

4. Writing the Letter

Now it is time for your students to write the letter itself. I like to provide students templates for a  break-up letter AND text message . Some students will opt for the modern approach, but others will stick with the more nostalgic method of communication. The content of the letter should look similar regardless of which they choose. However, having both options to choose from makes the activity more engaging and promotes student choice.

I suggest getting students to write a rough copy first and then getting them to do peer editing with another student so they can get suggestions for improvement. After these steps, they can write their good copy. Doing it this way ensures a stronger final result!

5. Break-Up Party

Close off the activity by throwing a break-up party! This is where students will have the option to share what they wrote with the rest of the class. Although writing the letter itself will be fun for students, the break-up party is likely to take the cake.

Some of these letters are sure to be quite funny, and there will likely be some students who cannot wait to read theirs out loud. Of course, there will also be some students who do not wish to read their break-up letter  in front of everyone. Ask for volunteers. If you want to make this break-up party into an even better party, you can bring in some broken heart cookies for your students to enjoy.

I hope you enjoy doing this fun Valentine’s Day activity with your middle and high school ELA students. If you’re interested, I discuss this and four more Valentine’s Day activities in another blog post. You can grab this ready-to-use activity by clicking here.

Read what some teachers have had to say about using this in their classrooms:

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6 Samples of a Breakup Letter for Someone You Once Loved

By: Author Hiuyan Lam

Posted on Last updated: October 20, 2023

Categories Relationship & Replies

Sometimes, writing the perfect breakup letter can be a daunting task. It can seem impossible to find the right words to convey one’s emotions, especially when, finding the right words means the experience will be less damaging for both parties involved.

The wrong words, on the other hand, can be very hurtful, so take the time to find the right words to use in a breakup letter.

The dos and don’ts of writing the breakup letter

Samples of a breakup letter

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The most important thing when writing a breakup letter is writing from the heart and letting the other party know how you truly feel and why you are honestly ending the relationship.

It is one of the hardest decisions to make, it means there is a lot of changes ahead, and frankly it is heart-breaking. Make sure you write a breakup letter that is both considerate, and final.

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Is It Time To Break Up? 14 Sample Break-Up Letters For The Man Or Woman You Still Care About

“I still love you, but I’m not in love with you” is not just a line from the movies. 

It’s absolutely possible to still care deeply about a partner, even if you know that partner isn’t the one .

It’s also possible to end the relationship amicably and while doing your best to hurt their feelings as little as possible.

If you need to break up with someone, choose a goodbye emotional break-up letter to your boyfriend or girlfriend from our list below. 

How to Write a Break-Up Letter

Break-up letter to someone you love: 14 sample letters for him or her , 1. cheating , 2. growing apart, 3. moving away, 4. it’s not you, it’s me, 5. meeting someone new , 6. wanting different things from life , 7. emotional abuse , 8. let’s be friends, 9. lying , 10. there’s someone else, 11. family issues, 12. not ready to commit, 13. long-distance issues, 14. faded love.

Another cliche that holds true: Breaking up is hard to do.

That’s especially true when you still care about the person you are ending it with.

You might have a general idea of what you want to say but have a difficult time putting it into words. 

Here are some things to consider when writing a breakup letter:

• Be honest. Even if it’s hard. Don’t beat around the bush. Be direct.
• Be kind. Or at least kind-ish. No need to be harsh– there’s enough hate in the world.
• Be clear. Specify why it must end and leave no room for doubt that it’s truly over.
• Refrain from insults. Keep it constructive. Your soon-to-be-ex doesn’t need to know the sound of them chewing makes you want to vomit or that their cooking is best suited for dogs.
• Avoid blame. The point is to explain what happened and why it must end, not point fingers. Even if they are at fault.
• Hold them accountable. It’s a chance to tell them what went wrong– without insults or blame!
• Expect follow-up. Face-to-face is usually best, but a letter can be a tool in your breakup. Expect to discuss further, perhaps even console them.

Couples break up for a multitude of reasons: infidelity , growing apart, meeting someone new, wanting different things from life, moving away, abuse , not being ready to commit, issues with their family– the list goes on and on. It may be mutual or it may be one-sided. 

These sample letters cover an array of reasons to end your relationship and can relieve some of the pressure that comes with hurting someone you care about.

7 Break-Up Letters to Boyfriend

Your reasons for ending your relationship are your own. If the time has come to break up with your boyfriend, these break-up letters will surely help. 

I have no doubt you saw this coming. You hurt me and betrayed my trust like I never thought you would. I loved you with all of my heart, and I believe in your own way you once loved me too. But our relationship can’t survive your infidelity.

While it will take me a long time, I know someday I’ll find a way to forgive you. Although truthfully, that will be for my own benefit, not yours.

I hope for your sake and for the sake of whoever you end up with, you learn something from your mistakes. I hope you learn to respect your future partner and yourself.

While this is extremely hard to do, I believe we both know we’ve drifted apart over the past few months. Our connection used to be so strong, but lately, our relationship feels more like a friendship than a romantic one.

I want you to know that I still care about you deeply, but the time has come for us to part ways. We both deserve to be with someone who makes us happier than we ever thought possible.

I sincerely wish you all the best that life has to offer and I hope one day we can be friends.

While it pains me to a great extent that we can’t stay together, I simply cannot pass up this opportunity. You know I’ve been working toward a promotion like this for so long, and I hope you understand why I have to leave. I just have to do what’s right for me right now, and asking you to follow me isn’t fair to you or the beautiful life you have here.

Please know that I still love you and care about you immensely. You will always have a special place in my heart. I hope one day you can forgive me.

I’m not sure how to say this so I’ll just say it: We need to break up. Please know there’s nothing wrong with you as a person. You have so many good qualities– you’re kind, smart, funny, attractive, caring, and loyal. But I just don’t feel the spark, the connection, the love between us anymore. 

I’m sorry if this comes as a surprise to you. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but we both know that’s not a reason to stay together. I need to move on, and so do you.

Best wishes,

This is not an easy letter to write, but you deserve honesty. I recently met someone else and want to pursue a relationship with him. I assure you there has been no physical infidelity, but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t developed feelings for him . 

Please know that this has nothing to do you with. Sometimes things just don’t work out the way we thought they would. You deserve someone who loves you with all her heart, but that can no longer be me.

I hope someday you can find it in your heart to forgive me.

I can’t believe what I’m about to say. While being with you has been one of the best, most memorable experiences of my life, we can no longer deny that we simply want different things. I thought we could get through anything.

I thought we could make it work. But the truth is it isn’t fair to either of us to settle in such important ways. I want to break up now before resentment sets in. We both deserve a partner who wants the same things.

I know you will make somebody very happy someday. 

When we met, I thought you were the most wonderful person in the world. I thought I had found the love of my life and that you would always treat me kindly and with love and respect. Sadly, that has not been the case at all. 

No one deserves to go through what you’ve put me through. No one deserves to go through the fear and humiliation I faced. 

Your abuse is out of line and I refuse to put up with it for another second of my life.

We are over for good. Please do not contact me in any way. I will not respond. 

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7 Break-Up Letters to Girlfriend

If, for whatever reason, you’re just not that into her anymore, use one of these break-up paragraphs to get out of the relationship completely and easily.

I think we both saw this coming. We’ve talked a lot lately about the missing spark between us, and it’s just not something we should ignore any longer. I care about you so much and I believe you care about me too. Breaking up feels right, and I think you feel it too.

You’re an amazing person and I sincerely hope we can remain friends. It might take some effort and might even feel a bit awkward at first, but you really do mean a lot to mean and I want to make a friendship with you work. 

Thank you so much for everything.

The time has come for us to break up . I can no longer take your constant lies and manipulation. And to be frank, I don’t deserve any of it. I want and deserve to be with someone I can trust and who respects me, and that’s just not you.

Considering the number of lies I am aware of, I can only imagine how many more there are. I sincerely hope you can overcome these bad, unhelpful habits. No one should have to put up with it. They don’t serve anyone, least of all someone you claim to love.

Best of luck,

I know there’s a good chance you will hate me for what I’m about to tell you, but I have to be honest. I have developed feelings for someone else. I tried hard to remain faithful to you, but I can’t ignore it any longer.

This is not at all your fault. You are a wonderful, beautiful person you are and you deserve someone who will love you with all their heart. I will always cherish the time we spent together. But it’s not right for me to stay in this relationship, feeling the way I do.

We have loved and cared for each other for a long time. I still love and care for you deeply. But sometimes love between two people just isn’t enough. 

The friction between your family and me is just too much to bear any longer. I tried so hard to get along with them but it’s just not happening. I never seem to be enough for them.

Now, their rudeness and poor treatment of me have taken a toll on my mental health. I won’t subject myself to it. I deserve to be treated with respect.

It wouldn’t be fair to expect you to choose between your family and me, so I think it’s best we part ways.

There is something very special about you. You’re a beautiful, wonderful, kindhearted, loving person, and you deserve someone who is able to give you all the things you want in life. Unfortunately, that isn’t me and I think we should break up.

Please know this has nothing to do with you but is a reflection on my commitment issues. I very much enjoy spending time with you. I’m just not ready for the kind of serious relationship you want and deserve.

I know there is somebody better out there for you, and I want you to be able to find him.

I wish you luck in love and life.

I’ve been thinking long and hard about our relationship, and I believe the time has come to go our separate ways. This decision did not come easily as I still love you and care about you deeply. 

But the distance between us is no longer bearable. I spend so much time missing you and hoping to hear from you, wishing you were here with me or that I was there with you, wondering what you’re doing and who you’re with. Regular texts, phone calls, and video chats just can’t replace seeing you in person and holding you in my arms. 

I will always cherish our time together, and I wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors.

As difficult as it is, I must be honest with you. The romantic feelings of love I once had for you have faded. While I still care about you immensely and don’t know specifically what changed, I do know that our connection is gone.

I no longer feel the bond we used to share and believe the time has come for us to part ways.

Please know this isn’t your fault. You are an amazing person and deserve someone who can love you fully and deeply. Unfortunately, that person is no longer me. It would be unfair to both of us to go on like this.

I wish you nothing but happiness in life.

You both deserve to be happy and with someone who is right for you. Prolonging or putting off a breakup only makes it harder– on you and on your partner. 

Choose a breakup letter that fits your situation. Use it as is or tweak it a bit to make it more “you.” Either way, a letter can provide closure, regardless of how long you’ve been together or your reasons for ending it.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Teaching the declaration of independence as a break up letter - podcast and video.

27 comments:

I used to teach the DofI as an interaction between a parent and a rebellious teen. Love the breakup letter idea... nicely done!

What a great activity! Thanks so much for sharing the video with us, it was fun to watch the students' reactions!!

I love the part where you said you had to preview it first and one of your students said, "We're thirteen, c'mon!" Great stuff! Mr. C

I just wanted to let you know that I used the "break-up" letter idea today in my 8th grade social studies class. The kids loved it. Thanks for sharing all of your great ideas!

Eric, That is so great! I just love the reactions of your students. Thank you for making this lesson meaningful for your students and sharing it with us. Russ

This is a great idea! Seriously, I'm going to use it next year. This lesson would be a good way of showing the practical/political reasons for the DofI. But I also think the DofI is so much more. I usually talk about why Jefferson thought man should be free, the thinking behind this movement, and how it was the thesis statement for the Constitution -- My 8th graders EAT THIS UP! The discussions on Natural Law and and the philosophy behind the Revolutionary movement in the Colonies is the best unit of the year, year after year. You don't have to believe in a God or Creator to understand and agree with the ideals behind the arguments layed out in the DofI.

I used this idea in a high school class and they loved it. It was a great way to help the students relate to the declaration. I also had each of the students write their own break up letter. Worked great!!

I am a student and it is to hard to think of ideas for the Break Up Letter!!!!!

I did this with my 8th graders today and all I have to say is THANK YOU for sharing!

This is great! I'm going to try it today, and see where it goes...

I can't wait to try this with my 7th graders! They're gonna DIE when they hear it. Ill post back with their reactions! So excited! Thanks for the idea!

This had brilliant results in my class.

I love it! Its a real attention getter!

I tried this with my 11th graders when I was student teaching last year, and it was a hit! I have a US History class this year and will be doing it all over again. I used it to segue into summarizing the Declaration and what it really says. I learned my kids didn't know how to summarize, so walked them through the process. I then divided them into groups and gave each group a portion of the Declaration. They had to put that part in modern day words using no more than 2 sentences. They loved it!

I just finished using this activity with my 8th graders today. All the kids loved it, there were some great comments coming from the crowd as I read the letter. Thanks for sharing this great idea!!

Thanks for the GREAT idea! This put the idea of the D of I across to my ELL students in a tangible "real" way! Awesome!

I am so excited to try this out with my students. I think they will love it. Thank you so much for posting. :)

I did this with my 8th graders several months ago and they are STILL talking about it! It has been one of the most effective tools I've used this year. Thanks for sharing a great idea!

I did this with Taylor Swift song "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together" as part of the hook. The kids loved it....at first. They still hated studying the document.

I'm going to use this tomorrow in an eleventh grade English class with many ELL students. Thanks man! --Student Teacher

I adapted this intro for my 3rd graders and they absolutely loved it!! Thank you so much!!

Thank you so much for sharing! I am going to try this tomorrow with my level one ELL sheltered U.S. History class. I think they will love it and will be able to connect to it!

I just did this activity with my 8th Grade US history class. I used this as an introduction into a group translation of the List of Grievances. "Colonists and Britain want to break up, now read this and tell me the reasons why!" Worked awesome! Thanks.

I loved this concept, but altered the letter a little to follow along with the idea of the four parts of the DofI. Preamble, Statement of Rights, Grievances and Statement of Independence. I think (hope) it really got my 5th graders to _think_!

I used this letter with my 8th grade class and they loved it. Thank you for the wonderful idea!

Talk about "Teach Like a Pirate" . . . LOVE this hook and shared it with my 8th grade SS teacher. Thanks for sharing!

I am currently a student teacher at a High School in Georgia and we have just finished talking about the American Revolution. - BUT, had I come across your page sooner, I would have definitely loved to try out the "Break - Up Note!" Not only does it fit perfectly with the material, but the way that you presented it was fantastic! I really appreciate it when veteran teachers post ideas with the student reactions online because I can get a grasp of how it worked out! Thank you for this!

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How to Write a Breakup Letter

Last Updated: February 8, 2024

This article was co-authored by Sarah Schewitz, PsyD . Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist by the California Board of Psychology with over 10 years of experience. She received her Psy.D. from the Florida Institute of Technology in 2011. She is the founder of Couples Learn, an online psychology practice helping couples and individuals improve and change their patterns in love and relationships. This article has been viewed 199,007 times.

While break-ups are best done face-to-face, sometimes a letter is needed for a variety of factors. The protocol for writing a break-up letter isn't all that different than the rules for break-ups in general. Be kind, but also be clear the relationship is over and be honest about the reasons you want to end things.

Deciding on a Letter

• If you're in a long distance relationship, communication can sometimes be difficult even over a phone or web cam screen. Some people are also simply uncomfortable with phone calls and if that's the case for you, a letter might help you get your words out in a calm, straightforward fashion. [1] X Research source
• If your partner might become hostile or emotional during a face-to-face break up, preventing you from explaining your point of view, a letter might also be a better option. Closure and open communication is important for a clean, healthy breakup and if you don't think your partner will allow this face-to-face, it may be better to write your thoughts out in a letter. [2] X Research source

• Face-to-face communication is ideal because non-verbal cues can provide comfort during a breakup. A smile or hug, for example, can tell your partner he or she still matters even though the relationship is ending. Such moments are absent when breaking up happens in letter form. [4] X Research source
• A breakup letter can also be somewhat cryptic. If there's anything your partner does not understand, he or she will be unable to ask for clarification. A lack of closure can leave him or her emotionally scarred and entering a new relationship may be difficult. [5] X Research source
• If you truly feel a breakup letter is the best route despite its drawbacks, leave room open for communication. Tell your partner he or she can call you or see you in a few days or weeks to talk if he or she needs to do so face-to-face. Give him or her time to cool down, however, so you can both talk calmly as adults.

• E-mail, Facebook, and other electronic means of delivering the letter are probably a bad idea. As some many people now have smart phones, that means all day internet access. You do not want your partner to open the e-mail on his way to work, school, or any event where he needs to stay focused.
• Mailing the letter may be necessary if you're in a long distance relationship. However, give some kind of heads up. Do not pretend things are normal after you've sent the letter. Give your partner a heads-up to expect a letter and tell him or her you've expressed some things you feel are easier to discuss in a written format.
• If you live in the same town, you could deliver the letter yourself or have a friend or family member do so.

Writing the Letter

• The letter's intent should be obvious from the opening line. Easing someone into a break-up seems less cruel, but it actually comes off as a mixed message. It can easily be read as uncertainty, making your partner think there's a chance you might change your mind. [6] X Research source
• Your opening line should be concise. Begin with a simple sentence that communicates the letter's intent. Something like, "I have come to the difficult decision to end this relationship" or something along those lines works. This comes off as certain, leaving no room for confusion. [7] X Research source

• Information-sharing is an important aspect of any relationship. In a breakup, sharing the reasons you feel the relationship should end conveys you respect your partner and want him or her to have closure. The idea of a winner (you, as you're leaving) and a loser (your partner, as he's being left) are diminished if you're honest. The blame is not on one individual but rather the incompatibility between the two of you. [8] X Research source
• Even if your partner did something that made you unhappy, avoid name-calling and blaming. Simply state the specific behavior that resulted in incompatibility. Instead of saying, "Your friendship with your ex is damaging to our relationship" try to state it in a way that focuses on your personal feelings rather than applying objective facts. For example, "The fact you and Jane are still so close makes me feel it would be difficult for me to trust you longterm." [9] X Research source
• Specific behaviors that were damaging to your relationship are important for your ex to know. He or she can use this information to improve his romantic relationships in the future. If you phrase things in a non-confrontational way, it may be helpful for him of her in the future to know why a past relationship ended. [10] X Research source
• Remember, it's not always something the other person is doing. Sometimes, incompatibility causes a relationship to end. If this is the case, say so. This is often easier to accept and your ex will not end up feeling bad or guilty about past mistakes. Say something like, "I feel that we ultimately want to end up in different locations and as I'm getting older, I want to find someone I'm compatible with in the longterm." [11] X Research source

• While you need to be firm that you're ending the relationship, there's no need to be spiteful or aggressive while doing so. Even if you do have feelings of resentment, expressing yourself is an aggressive way could lead your ex to retaliate with his own letter or an angry phone call.
• End the letter by saying something positive, like "I valued the time we spent together and I hope you find someone you work better with in the future." The absence of non-verbal cues can make you come off as cold, so you want your ex to feel that you do care and that he or she is valued even though the relationship is over.
• Another reasons kindness is important is that letters bind you to your words. In anger or sadness, we often say things we do not truly mean and you do not want you or your ex to carry around physical evidence of a regrettable phrasing or tone.

Coping Afterwards

• Grieving is a normal part of a relationship ending. Even if you know the decision was for the best, you will likely miss your partner in the days and weeks that follow the breakup. [13] X Research source
• Many people deal with such feelings by avoiding them. People may take up a big project or start socializing or drinking heavily. However, this is not a good idea. Ending a relationship, especially a serious and longterm one, is one of the most difficult emotional blows a person can endure in life. You need to be able to accept and face the pain to process the emotions you're feeling about the loss. [14] X Research source

• The human brain is wired for bonding, so the breaking of any bond is emotionally difficult. A breakup can be similar to drug withdrawal as the feelings of longing for another person remain even weeks after the relationship has ended. Areas of the brain associated with drug use are activated during romantic relationships, and so you're biologically wired to miss someone and feel regret or loneliness in the direct aftermath of a breakup. [15] X Research source
• Understand such feelings are temporary and, as time passes, they will lessen. While past relationships do affect how you function in current relationship, the acute feelings of pain lose intensity with time. [16] X Research source

Expert Q&A

• Try a few practice letters before you write the real one. It may take awhile to get your words out correctly. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201012/the-thoroughly-modern-guide-breakups
• ↑ Sarah Schewitz, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 15 April 2019.
• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201201/breaking-is-hard-do-so-heres-6-step-how

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Literally, Darling » Blog » dating » How To Write a Post-Breakup Letter

How To Write a Post-Breakup Letter

Hey you. Yes, you, with the broken heart, puffy eyes, and “I just got dumped” written across your face in watery tracks of mascara. You might not know me, but I know you. I’ve been you. And I know exactly what you’re going through.

I know the humiliation you felt while walking home after that fateful conversation. I know how your lungs burned as you gasped for air after shutting the door and crumpling to the ground, willing the day to end at 12:15 on a Thursday afternoon. I know you called your friends, sobbed into their arms, and asked them what’s wrong with you. They were right when they told you, “Nothing.” I know you didn’t believe them.

You don’t have to tell me that this came out of nowhere; nor do you need to explain how foolish you feel for not reading the signs. I get it. I didn’t then, but I do now. And now, as sure as I knew the pain of the initial breakup, I know the first step to getting over it: getting the last word. Once you’ve dried your tears, picked yourself off the floor, and steadied your racing heartbeat, you’ve got to find a way to channel your anger and despair into something more productive than the amount of force with which you thrust your spoon into a pint of Ben & Jerry’s. That’s why everyone should learn how to write a post breakup letter.

Before you even think about putting words to paper, you have to take care of yourself. You probably won’t have slept for a couple of days and although you’ve told your mom you’re eating well, you’ll have found that even chicken parm has lost its flavor. So eat. Trust me, you can’t write rage on an empty stomach. Also shower because you look like hell and you spent good money on that Dove Go Fresh Cool Moisture Body Wash. Use it.

Next, defuse some of your anger—but be productive. His t-shirts, for example? Oh, he’s not getting those back. Use them to mop up after your leaking dishwasher (and make a mental note to call apartment maintenance in the morning). Hopefully he’ll have given you something nice—not likely expensive, but extremely breakable—for the holidays. I promise you won’t miss that vase.

Feeling better? Good. Now get writing.

Start by reminding him that you didn’t need this relationship. In fact, you were originally put off by his loudness, obnoxious wardrobe, and the way he said you were good for his “brand.” Tell him you enjoyed being single and under the radar, but you gave him a second chance and accidentally fell in love. Tell him you regret that because “I” and “Love” and “You” aren’t a ticket to free sex and that they mean more than the title of an Avett Brothers song. Tell him the reference was intentional and that the original rendition is better than his.

Tell him he ruined your old favorite songs.

Confess that you spoke too soon when you told the world that he made you happy . You were too trusting, too eager to believe in “meant to be.”

Don’t be afraid to bring up the past. In fact, do bring it up. Let him know that you haven’t forgotten your first date, first kiss, and first party together. Recall lazy mornings, the time you fell asleep watching a nature documentary, got lost on a hike, and danced to 80s music. Remind him of your ukulele duet, the 4:00am drive to the airport, and that orange dress he liked.

Ask him what happens to those memories now because I honestly don’t know.

I know you may be tempted to use profane titles such as “dick” and “asshole” and “narcissistic bastard,” but refrain. Those obscenities aren’t quite as constructive as calling him “selfish” and “immature” and “cowardly” and recommending that he get a f*cking haircut.

11 Essential Things To Know About Dating In Your 30s

Write about your wasted plans: the camping trip this spring, the Buzzfeed recipes you haven’t tried, your sister he hasn’t met, and the pictures you never framed. Ask him why he filled your head with dreams and heart with hope, only to pull away when he encountered uncertainty. Demand to know what changed.

You might have just met his parents (and decided you like his mom just as much if not more than her son), but that won’t stop him from calling things off two days later. Because when he accused his friends of emotional immaturity he failed to include himself amongst their ranks. Remember you deserve better.

Tell him your roommate was happy to receive his Valentine’s Day gift, but don’t tell your roommates about this letter. They mean well, but they won’t remember the color of his eyes behind the glasses, how thoroughly you cleaned the apartment before he came over, how he dressed when he met your mother, and how his made you feel like family.

Tell him that you’re hurting, you’re confused, and that you wish he’d done things differently. Tell him he owes you an apology.

He likely won’t ask to meet up, choosing instead to respond to your letter with a text (cowardly, remember?), but that’s ok. Because texts can be deleted, phone calls hung up, but it takes slightly longer for paper to burn. As for online articles ? They’re here to stay and he should have thought about that before breaking your heart.

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Valentine's Day Writing Assignment - Writing a Break Up Letter or Text Message

What educators are saying

Description.

Valentine's Day Writing Assignment - Writing a Break Up Letter or Text Message: Teach your students how to write the perfect break-up letter or text message with this fun anti-Valentine's Day writing resource! Students will learn what to include in the perfect break-up letter or text and develop two fictional characters who are breaking up. They will complete a pre-writing graphic organizer to share information about the couple's relationship, personality traits, and relationship issues. Then, they will develop an outline for the letter or text message and write a good copy on the eye-catching templates included.

Included in This Valentine's Day Writing Assignment:

➡️ Writing a Break-Up Letter Presentation: Use this presentation to guide the lesson and introduce this high-interest Valentine's Day writing activity. The presentation includes discussion questions, information on a good vs. bad break-up, tips for writing a break-up letter, and prompts to guide the lesson and assignment.

➡️ Writing a Break-Up Letter Informational Handout: Guide your students in writing a strong break-up letter with this student informational handout that will outline for them what makes a perfect break-up letter or text message.

➡️ Pre-writing Graphic Organizer: Before students begin writing their letters or text messages, they will use this pre-writing planning organizer to plan their writing. The organizer will allow students to ensure their writing is organized and includes the most important information.

➡️ Good Copy Templates: Once students are ready to write their letter or text message, they can use these eye-catching good copy pages (one in letter format and one in text message format). These look great on display on a bulletin board!

What Teachers Are Saying About This Valentine's Day Writing Assignment:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ The students really loved this activity I even had a few break up with their bad habits. I t was really engaging and we had a lot of fun with this plus it allowed us to talk about letter structure and for some working on their vocabulary . Have used it twice and will be using it again.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Talk about engagement ! This was so fun to use in my class. I was hesitant because it focuses on relationships, but my 8th graders took this assignment and RAN with it! I will definitely be doing this each year!

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ This was one of the most fun activities that we did all year. Students had so much fun "breaking up" with each other. Some made up people and some used their own friends etc. Perfect Valentine's Day activity.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Presto plans are my go-to plans whenever I want to shake things up and get students excited . Great graphics and engaging activities to keep students learning. 100 % recommend!

Like this resource? Try these two popular resources:

• Who Stole the Love Letter Reading Mystery
• Love Potion Disaster Escape Room

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The movie star and his new squeeze took their romance to Venice over the weekend, where they shared date nights with pals George and Amal Clooney, and made their red carpet debut a the Venice Film Festival .

Meanwhile, Page Six sources says the lovey-dovey stuff isn’t just for the camera. Our spies caught the foursome hanging out at Cipriani Hotel’s pool bar and restaurant on Saturday night before they headed out for their double date .

“[Pitt] seemed very happy. They were very affectionate and cheerful. It was very sweet,” a source told us.

The couples’ evening was a mix of business and pleasure. Clooney and Pitt were at the hotel for a private photo call according to our eyewitness. We’re told Pitt and de Ramon arrived to the bar area around 7.30p.m., where Clooney was “engaged in deep convo” with a casually dressed Tilda Swinton.

There were about eight other guests and, ‘After saying warm hellos, Brad and George went over to the pool to take their photos, then came back over to mingle in the bar,” our spy said.

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The stop at Cipriani was brief. They exited the hotel at around 8 with Pitt’s “hands around de Ramon’s waist,” according to the source. The A-list couples then headed to dinner at Ristorante da Ivo via water taxi.

They ended the weekend posing for pics on the red carpet for Pitt and Clooney’s new film “Wolfs.”

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