significant experience essay examples

Sample Essays: Significant Experience

Please select from the following sample application essays:

Essay 1: Princeton | Essay 2: Harvard | Essay 3: Princeton | Essay 4: Brown

Note: The following essays were not edited by EssayEdge Editors. They appear as they were initially reviewed by admissions officers.

Sample Essay 1

Princeton, Athlete (Football)

I have learned a great many things from participating in varsity football. It has changed my entire outlook on and attitude toward life. Before my freshman year at [high-school], I was shy, had low self-esteem and turned away from seemingly impossible challenges. Football has altered all of these qualities. On the first day of freshman practice, the team warmed up with a game of touch football. The players were split up and the game began. However, during the game, I noticed that I didn't run as hard as I could, nor did I try to evade my defender and get open. The fact of the matter is that I really did not want to be thrown the ball. I didn't want to be the one at fault if I dropped the ball and the play didn't succeed. I did not want the responsibility of helping the team because I was too afraid of making a mistake. That aspect of my character led the first years of my high school life. I refrained from asking questions in class, afraid they might be considered too stupid or dumb by my classmates. All the while, I went to practice and everyday, I went home physically and mentally exhausted.

Yet my apprehension prevailed as I continued to fear getting put in the game in case another player was injured. I was still afraid of making mistakes and getting blamed by screaming coaches and angry teammates. Sometimes these fears came true. During my sophomore season, my position at backup guard led me to play in the varsity games on many occasions. On such occasions, I often made mistakes. Most of the time the mistakes were not significant; they rarely changed the outcome of a play. Yet I received a thorough verbal lashing at practice for the mistakes I had made. These occurrences only compounded my fears of playing. However, I did not always make mistakes. Sometimes I made great plays, for which I was congratulated. Now, as I dawn on my senior year of football and am faced with two starting positions, I feel like a changed person.

Over the years, playing football has taught me what it takes to succeed. From months of tough practices, I have gained a hard work ethic. From my coaches and fellow teammates, I have learned to work well with others in a group, as it is necessary to cooperate with teammates on the playing field. But most important, I have also gained self-confidence. If I fail, it doesn't matter if they mock or ridicule me; I'll just try again and do it better. I realize that it is necessary to risk failure in order to gain success. The coaches have always said before games that nothing is impossible; I know that now. Now, I welcome the challenge. Whether I succeed or fail is irrelevant; it is only important that I have tried and tested myself.

The topic of this essay is how the applicant has matured and changed since his freshman year. He focuses on football. One of the strengths of this essay is that it is well organized. The applicant clearly put time into the structure and planning of this essay. He uses the platform of football to discuss and demonstrate his personal growth and development through the high school years. What he could have done better was spend more time describing himself after he made improvements. As it is, he only tells us about his newfound confidence and drive. This essay would have been stronger had he actually shown us, perhaps by including a story or describing an event where his confidence made a difference.

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Sample Essay 2

Harvard, International experience: Living in Switzerland

"Je deteste des Americains," said the old Swiss woman sitting across from me. Her face contorted into a grimace of disgust as she and her friend continued to complain that Americans had no culture, that they never learned another language, and that their inferior customs were spreading throughout Europe like an infectious disease. Each hair on the back of my neck sprang to attention, as I strained to hear the women's inflammatory remarks. I gripped my bag of McDonald's harder with each insulting phrase.

I had been living in Geneva, Switzerland for four years, during which time I had attended an international school consisting of over 96 different nationalities. I had already become fluent in French and had become accustomed to the new culture in which I was living--a culture which I had believed to be rich in tolerance and acceptance. Naturally, the women's remarks hurt. Was I really an "ugly American?" Did I have no appreciation of anything other than McDonald's or Coca-Cola? Had I not been touched by the new world I had been exposed to? Without question, my four years in Switzerland changed my life in countless ways. From the minute I stepped off the plane at Cointrin Airport, the vastly different sights along the clean street, the ubiquitous smells of rich delicious French cuisine, and my feelings of excitement about my new surroundings told me that I definitely was "not in Kansas anymore." My school helped greatly in modifying my attitudes, as for the first time I was with peers from countries which I had only read about. Although it was sometimes difficult trying to find links between my self and my Saudi Arabian, Hungarian, French, Nigerian, or Chilean friends, I soon came to enjoy my new stir fry environment. By the time I left, I was wondering how I ever could survive the boredom of attending a homogeneous institution. This is not to say that, prior to this, I had been closed up in a bland box of a world. I had traveled to India, my father's home, and England, my mother's home, annually: a practice my family and I continue to this day. I had been brought up without specific religious beliefs, but an awareness of my parents' spiritual backgrounds of Judaism and Hinduism. Thus my exposure to these various different nationalities in Switzerland built on my found-ations of cultural awareness, rather than laying the cornerstone for it.

My understanding of my new environment was aided tremendously by my ability to speak French, and was subsequently one of the best gifts I brought back from my four year stay in Switzerland. An entire year of school lessons could not have taught me as much of the language as I learned form speaking with my Swiss friends, shopping in the local stores, or apologizing to my neighbors for hitting my ball into their yard. My proficiency in French earned me a regular spot on a nationally broadcast Swiss radio program, in which a Russian child and I discussed tensions between major world powers. This was a rare opportunity, as, although Stephen and I were peers, the fact that Russian children attended the Soviet Embassy school meant that we were not classmates. Though, even if we had been allowed to speak casually before, I am not certain that our conversation would have reached the depth of discussion we achieved on the show.

America will never again seem the same to me. Geneva gave me enough distance to look at my country through objective eyes. Traveling throughout Europe was like a trip with Gulliver: it gave me the ability to look inside myself and discern my country's faults as well as its numerous strengths. Like the Swiss women's remarks, it hurt me to find that the United States is not the only country in the world with a rich and stimulating environment. With my new perspective, I saw that America was not what it had been. Then I thought for a moment and realized that America had not changed, but I had.

One officer called this, "A good example of a foreign culture essay that works." The only negative comments about this essay came from one officer who found the conclusion to be a bit weak. "I would like to see her elaborate a little more in the last paragraph. This is because in most of her classes, she will be required to support any opinions." Another agreed that she could have kept her final points more personal and specific.

The writing is excellent.

The vocabulary is sophisticated without seeming labored. I do not suspect that the author had a thesaurus at hand! This tells me that she/he would certainly be successful academically, at least in the courses that require strong communication and analytical abilities.

This essay is very well written. The writer demonstrates a refreshing maturity that seems to come from his/her abroad experience. The essay demonstrates a transformation of the student from just an American in a foreign land to someone who embraces the international experience and grew with it.

What I like about this essay is that it shows that the traditional categories of "extracurricular activities" need not be the only way to demonstrate that one has something of interest to bring to the college experience. I think this writer would be a fascinating person to get to know, because she would be able to contribute a fresh perspective to conversations about many of the important ideas that we wrestle with in college. She might well be someone who would be especially adept at bringing together diverse members of the student body because she would not feel intimidated by differences, but would, instead, seek them out and value them highly.

Sample Essay 3

Princeton, Childhood experience: A fishing trip

Reluctantly smearing sunblock over every exposed inch of my fifty-three pound body, I prepared mentally for the arduous task that lay ahead of me. After several miserable fishing ventures which had left my skin red and my hook bare, I felt certain that, at last, my day had arrived. I stood ready to clear the first hurdle of manhood, triumph over fish. At the age of seven, I was confident that my rugged, strapping body could conquer any obstacle. Pity the fish that would become the woeful object of the first demonstration of my male prowess.

Engaging me deeply was my naive eagerness to traverse the chasm dividing boy from man. In fact, so completely absorbed was I in my thoughts that the lengthy journey to our favorite fishing spot seemed fleeting. The sudden break in the droning of the engine snapped me to reality. Abruptly jarred back into the world, I fumbled for my fishing pole. Dangling the humble rods end over the edge of the boat, I released the bail on the reel and plunked the cheap plastic lure into the water. Once I had let out enough line and set the rod in a holder, I sat back to wait for an attack on the lure. The low hum of the motor at trolling speed only added to my anxiety, like the instrumental accompaniment to a horror film. And then it hit. A sharp tug on the line pulled me to my feet faster than an electric shock. I bounded to the pole, and when I reached it, I yanked it out of the holder with all of my might. My nervous energy was so potent that when I tugged on the rod, I nearly plunged headlong over the side of the boat and into the fishs domain. Although adrenaline streamed through my veins, after five minutes both my unvanquishable strength and my superhuman will were waning steadily. Just when I was fully prepared to surrender to the fish and, with that gesture, succumb to a life of discontentment, pain, and sorrow, the fish performed a miraculous feat. Shocked and instantly revived, I watched as the mahi-mahi leapt from the oceans surface. The mahi-mahis skin gleamed with radiant hues of blue, green, and yellow in a breathtaking spray of surf. Brilliant sunlight beamed upon the spectacle, giving life to a scene which exploded into a furious spectrum of color. The exotic fish tumbled majestically back to the sea amidst a blast of foam. With this incredible display, the fish was transformed from a pitiful victim to a brilliant specimen of life. I cared no longer for any transcendent ritual I must perform, but rather, I longed only for the possession of such a proud creature. I hungered to touch such a wonder and share the fantastic bond that a hunter must feel for his kill. I needed to have that fish at any cost.

The fight lasted for only ten minutes; nevertheless, it was a ten minutes which I will never forget. When my fish neared the boat, I felt more energized than I had when the fish first struck. At my fathers command, I netted the fish and hauled it into the bottom of the boat. I was nearly bursting with exhilaration. Released from the net, the fish dropped to the bottom of the boat with a hollow thud, and my jaw dropped with it. I stared in complete horror at the violently thrashing fish which was now at my feet. Within minutes, all of the fishs vibrance, color and life had vanished. Instead, came blood. Lots of blood. It sprayed from its mouth. It sprayed from its gills. Shortly, the boat was coated with the red life blood of the mahi-mahi. It now lay twitching helplessly while it gasped and choked for oxygen in the dry air. I felt sickened, disgusted, and utterly lost in heart-wrenching pity. As I watched the color drain from the fish, leaving it a morbid pale-yellow, I realized that I was responsible for the transformation of a creature of brilliance and life into a pitiful, dying beast.

Despite my brothers cheers and praises, I rode back to shore in bitter silence. I could not help thinking about the vast difference between the magnificent creature which I saw jump in the sea and the pathetic beast which I saw gasping for life in the bloody pit of the boat. What struck me most forcefully on that day, though, was the realization that I was no mere bystander to this desecration. I was the sole cause. Had I not dropped the hook into the water, the fish undoubtedly would still be alive. I, alone, had killed this fish.

In retrospect, I am relieved that I reacted in such a way to my passage from boyhood to manhood. Although my views about many things, hunting and fishing included, have changed considerably since that day, I still retain a powerful conscience which actively molds my personality. One cannot dispute the frightening potential of the human race to induce the permanent extinction of every life form on the planet. As the ability to change the world on a global scale is arguably limited to one breed of life, so, too, is the force which impedes instinctual and conscious action, the human conscience. My own sense of strong moral principle reaches far beyond simply averting Armageddon, however. I often find myself unable to disregard this force of moral and social responsibility in whatever I do. Part of my keen social conscience is demonstrated in the effort I have made to be a positive intellectual leader among my classmates and in the community. Realizing how lucky I am to have been born with a high aptitude for learning, I feel sorry that others who also work very hard cannot achieve like I have nor be rewarded with success as I have been. In a leadership role, I hope to constructively guide my peers to find their own success and see the fruition of their own goals. By serving as class president for three consecutive years, as founder, member, and chairman of the peer counseling society, and as a peer tutor, I have enabled others to reach their goals, while finding personal gratification at the same time. I am fortunate in that I have been given the opportunity to optimize the usefulness of my personal virtues in helping others; I can only hope to continue heeding my conscience in work as a research chemist, or whatever I may do in the future. It is my right and my obligation, for I firmly maintain that the charge of a humanitarian conscience is one which each person must eternally bear for the good of humankind and all the world.

"A good example of how a talented writer can make a standard topic appealing" was the general consensus. One officer did think, though, that the writer got "overzealous" with his language and could have avoided some of the more corpulent sentences like, "Engaging me deeply was my naive eagerness to traverse the chasm dividing boy from man," by writing with a simpler, more natural voice.

I really enjoyed this essay. It starts with a wonderful, humorous touch, but describes vividly and movingly the young boy's first experience with death and with personal responsibility.

In reading this essay, I get a strong impression of the kind of person this young man must be, someone full of good humor, but great sensitivity as well. His easy way with the language convinces me that he would be an excellent student, and a welcome addition to the class.

This was a nicely written piece. This student took time to think about this experience and was able to articulate his memories of his fishing adventure rather well. This could have been another bland essay but the writer took you on the adventure with him, from boyhood to manhood.

I like the way he took his fishing adventure and transitioned to his life today and how and what he learned from it.

What I liked most about the essay was that the writer told of an experience in his childhood and was able to take that experience and make the connection to his life and goals of today.

Sample Essay 4

Brown, Achievement: Martial arts competition

A faint twinge of excitement floated through my body that night. A hint of anticipation of the coming day could not be suppressed; yet to be overcome with anxiety would not do at all. I arduously forced those pernicious thoughts from seeping in and overcoming my body and mind. I still wonder that I slept at all that night. But I did. I slept soundly and comfortably as those nervous deliberations crept into my defenseless, unsuspecting mind, pilfering my calm composure. When I awoke refreshed, I found my mind swarming with jumbled exhilaration. The adrenaline was flowing already.

After a quick breakfast, I pulled some of my gear together and headed out. The car ride of two hours seemed only a few moments as I struggled to reinstate order in my chaotic consciousness and focus my mind on the day before me. My thoughts drifted to the indistinct shadows of my memory.

My opponent's name was John Doe. There were other competitors at the tournament, but they had never posed any threat to my title. For as long as I had competed in this tournament, I had easily taken the black belt championship in my division. John, however, was the most phenomenal martial artist I had ever had the honor of witnessing at my young age of thirteen. And he was in my division. Although he was the same rank, age, size, and weight as I, he surpassed me in almost every aspect of our training. His feet were lightning, and his hands were virtually invisible in their agile swiftness. He wielded the power of a bear while appearing no larger than I. His form and techniques were executed with near perfection. Although I had never defeated his flawlessness before, victory did not seem unattainable. For even though he was extraordinary, he was not much more talented than I. I am not saying that he was not skilled or even that he was not more skilled than I, for he most certainly was, but just not much more than I. I still had one hope, however little, of vanquishing this incredible adversary, for John had one weakness: he was lazy. He didn't enjoy practicing long hours or working hard. He didn't have to. Nevertheless, I had found my passage to triumph.

My mind raced even farther back to all my other failures. I must admit that my record was not very impressive. Never before had I completed anything. I played soccer. I quit. I was a Cub Scout. I quit. I played trumpet. I quit. Karate was all I had left. The championship meant so much because I had never persevered with anything else. In the last months, I had trained with unearthly stamina and determination. I had focused all my energies into practicing for this sole aspiration. Every day of the week I trained. Every evening, I could be found kicking, blocking, and punching at an imaginary opponent in my room. Hours of constant drilling had improved my techniques and speed. All my techniques were ingrained to the point where they were instinctive. Days and weeks passed too swiftly. . . .

I was abruptly jolted back into the present. The car was pulling into the parking lot. The tournament had too quickly arrived, and I still did not feel prepared for the trial which I was to confront. I stepped out of the car into the bright morning sun, and with my equipment bag in hand, walked into the towering building.

The day was a blur. After warming up and stretching, I sat down on the cold wooden floor, closed my eyes, and focused. I cleared my mind of every thought, every worry, and every insecurity. When I opened my eyes, every sense and nerve had become sharp and attentive, every motion finely tuned and deliberate. The preliminary rounds were quiet and painless, and the championship fight was suddenly before me. I could see that John looked as calm and as confident as ever. Adrenaline raced through my body as I stepped into the ring. We bowed to each other and to the instructor, and the match began.

I apologize, but I do not recall most of the fight. I do faintly remember that when time ran out the score was tied, and we were forced to go into Sudden Death: whoever scored the next point would win. That, however, I do recall. I was tired. The grueling two points that I had won already had not been enough. I needed one more before I could taste triumph. I was determined to win, though I had little energy remaining. John appeared unfazed, but I couldn't allow him to discourage me. I focused my entire being, my entire consciousness, on overcoming this invincible nemesis. I charged. All my strenuous training, every molecule in my body, every last drop of desire was directed, concentrated on that single purpose as I exploded through his defenses and drove a solitary fist to its mark. I was not aware that I would never fight John again, but I would not have cared. Never before had I held this prize in my hands, but through pure, salty sweat and vicious determination, the achievement that I had desired so dearly and which meant so much to me was mine at last. This was the first time that I had ever really made a notable accomplishment in anything. This one experience, this one instant, changed me forever. That day I found self-confidence and discovered that perseverance yields its own sweet fruit. That day a sense of invincibility permeated the air. Mountains were nothing. The sun wasn't so bright and brilliant anymore. For a moment, I was the best.

The admissions officers admired this essay for its passion and sincerity. In fact, most of the noted drawbacks were based on the writer being too passionate. "Kind of a tempest in a teapot, don't you think?" wrote one. Other suggestions for improvement were "purely editorial" such as the overuse of adjectives and adverbs, using a passive voice, and making contradictory statements. "For example, he says, 'I slept soundly and comfortably as those nervous deliberations crept into my defenseless, unsuspecting mind, pilfering my calm composure.' How could he sleep soundly and comfortably if the nervous deliberations were pilfering his calm composure? There are a few other examples like that that I won't go into here. I would just suggest that the author look carefully to be sure his ideas stay consistent and support one another."

What I like about this essay from the point of view of an admission officer is that I am convinced that the change in attitude described by the author is real. I do believe that he will carry with him forever the hard-won knowledge that he can attain his goals, that perseverance and hard work will eventually allow him to succeed in any endeavor. This is an important quality to bring to the college experience. Especially when considering applications to prestigious institutions, the admission committee will want to feel sure that the applicants understand the need for hard work and perseverance. Many times the strongest-looking applicants are students for whom academic success has come so easily that the challenges of college come as a shock. I always like hearing stories like this, of students who know what it means to struggle and finally succeed

Return to: Lesson One: College Essay Questions

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Sample College Admission Essay 1 with Feedback

Introduction.

We've discussed in a general sense what makes a good essay, but it's always helpful to look at specific examples and hear how admissions officers evaluated them. Included below is a sample essay. It's well-written and avoids the common admission essay pitfalls discussed in previous videos (listing off accomplishments like a resume, writing about someone else instead of making it personal, etc.), so it's not simple to know how an admissions officer will react. Read the essay, and then proceed to the follow-up video to hear from admissions.

Sample essay 1

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you (500 word limit).

A misplaced foot on the accelerator instead of the brakes made me the victim of someone’s careless mistake. Rushing through the dark streets of my hometown in an ambulance, I attempted to hold back my tears while two supportive Emergency Medical Technicians (EMTs) comforted me. Although I suffered a minor knee injury, the trauma of that accident still lingers.

Fast forward six years to the present. Now I am sitting in the back of the ambulance, a rookie EMT, with my purple gloves on, stethoscope around my neck, and a red medical bag in hand. I am also making sure we have the proper medical equipment stocked, including neck collars and long body boards. As I step out of the ambulance, a bitter breeze nips at my face. Shattered glass, two crushed car hoods, and traffic everywhere, the scene is put into perspective as I can finally see what is happening. I stop in my tracks. It is my accident all over again.

“Get the collars and boards, there is a possible back injury,” my partner whispers to me. I fetch the items, still attempting to deal with my conflicting emotions. Using the help of five other EMTs, we extricate the victim from the car and secure him to the stretcher. While in the ambulance, I realize now that circumstances have been reversed. This time, clutching the patient’s hand, I tried to soothe him, and he slowly calms down. I keep my composure and actively tried to help the patient feel as comfortable as I did. Keeping all of his personal belongings close to me, we wheel him into the busy emergency room and transfer him safely. As we leave, he looked into my eyes and I could feel his sincere gratitude. Rather than being an innocent victim, like the current patient was, I am now the rescuer.

Even though I felt the horrid memories rushing back, I kept my duties as a rescuer in the forefront of my mind. Keeping my cool in the face of extreme pressure I came out of the call a changed person: someone who can see a problem, regardless of any bias I may have, and focus only on what is happening at that instant. Confidently facing my own terrors, I felt as if conquering my fears allowed me to face my duties with a grounded and compassionate outlook.

Tears stream, limbs hurt, children cry: I am there, with a smile on my face, a stethoscope around my neck, compassion in my heart, happy to help and proud to serve.

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College admissions

Course: college admissions   >   unit 4.

• Writing a strong college admissions essay
• Avoiding common admissions essay mistakes
• Brainstorming tips for your college essay
• How formal should the tone of your college essay be?
• Taking your college essay to the next level

Sample essay 1 with admissions feedback

• Sample essay 2 with admissions feedback
• Student story: Admissions essay about a formative experience
• Student story: Admissions essay about personal identity
• Student story: Admissions essay about community impact
• Student story: Admissions essay about a past mistake
• Student story: Admissions essay about a meaningful poem
• Writing tips and techniques for your college essay

Introduction

Sample essay 1, feedback from admissions.

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Defining Moments: Exploring the ‘Significant Experience’ Essay Prompt

In the span of our lives, we sometimes experience events that forever change who we are and turn us into something new well-being. These turning points have the power to alter us by shedding light on our core values, assumptions, and goals.

The “significant experience” essay prompts, a typical writing assignment that tests our ability to go into the depths of our personal story and portray the significance of a specific event or encounter, is a potent tool to capture and reflect on these deep events.

In this blog, let’s discover the essay prompt’s true meaning, “significant experience.” We will examine how you can write significant experience , some application essay ideas , and the approaches to successfully completing it.

Whether you are a student assigned to write a college entrance essay or a person seeking self-reflection, this blog will offer you insightful tips to help you negotiate the complexities of this essay prompt.

Let’s begin, but first, get to know about defining moments.

What are Defining Moments?

Defining moments are significant occasions or encounters that can form and define a person, group of people, culture, or even an entire era. These events leave a lasting impression, changing a person’s life path, forming identities, or determining the course of bigger entities.

Positive or bad defining moments can happen on a variety of scales. A life-changing decision, such as selecting a professional path, getting married, or taking on a significant challenge, might be a defining event on a personal level. Determining moments for organisations might include significant strategic choices, ground-breaking inventions, or significant failures that result in dramatic change.

These defining moments are important because they frequently exhibit traits of tenacity, character, and ideals. They push people or things to make decisions, take chances, and face their own strengths and flaws. Defining moments may put one’s determination to the test, requiring reflection and development. They can also operate as catalysts for individual or group development, bringing about changes in perspective, priorities, and course of action.

Additionally, pivotal events might have an impact beyond the people or organisations directly engaged. They have the power to motivate people, launch social movements, or alter the course of history, politics, or culture. Defined moments can leave a lasting imprint and contribute to communal awareness by influencing narratives and changing views.

Unveiling the Purpose of the ‘Significant Experience’ Essay Prompt

The “significant experience” essay prompt is among the application essay ideas given to students, particularly those seeking scholarships or college. This essay prompt is meant to inspire people to think about and share a particular experience that has profoundly impacted their life and shaped their personal development, beliefs, or objectives.

The essay prompt seeks to accomplish the following goals:

# Self-reflection

The prompt promotes contemplation and self-awareness by letting people dive into a memorable event. People are prompted to reflect in depth on their history and the occasions that have moulded them, promoting a deeper knowledge of their ideals, virtues, and flaws.

# Personal Development

The essay prompt challenges people to specify and explain how their major experience has influenced their personal development. It gives people a chance to show off their capacity to overcome obstacles, adapt to novel situations, and exhibit perseverance.

# Communication Abilities

Strong communication abilities are necessary when you write significant experience in your college entrance essay. Individuals can get practise speaking properly, structuring their ideas, and presenting them in a logical and interesting way by responding to the question.

# Character and Values Demonstration

The essay prompts allow a student to show who they are and what they stand for. People can demonstrate their integrity, compassion, tenacity, or other qualities that make them who they are by talking about the effects of a significant experience.

# Differentiating Oneself

The noteworthy experience essay prompt gives people an opportunity to stand out from other applicants in competitive situations like college or scholarship applications . It enables applicants to offer distinctive experiences and viewpoints, showcasing their distinctiveness and possible value to a given group or organisation.

Also read: Overcoming Obstacles: Using The ‘Challenge You’ve Faced’ Essay Prompt To Your Advantage

Effective Strategies for Crafting an Effective Essay

Planning carefully, reflecting deeply, and writing well is necessary to create a successful essay, especially one that responds to a “significant experience” challenge. Here are some tips to assist you in writing an engaging and effective essay:

• Think of the Experience: Take some time to seriously consider your big event and how it has affected your life. Think about the feelings, difficulties, and lessons you’ve learnt. Ask yourself why it was important and how it influenced your development, principles, or goals.
• Create a Main Theme: Decide on a main idea or statement that best captures the spirit of your memorable event. Your essay’s central subject will act as its compass and aid in giving it cohesion and focus. It could involve fortitude, sympathy, internal change, or any other pertinent quality.
• Create a Captivating Introduction: Your essay should begin with a strong introduction that captures the reader’s interest. You can utilise anecdotes, challenging questions, or evocative descriptions to create the scene and entice the reader into your tale. Indicate the experience’s importance and its main subject in clear terms.
• Give Context: Give the reader adequate background information to enable them to comprehend the setting of your noteworthy event. Give details about the situation’s surroundings, participants, and any other pertinent information.
• Craft a Compelling Story: Create an engaging tale by structuring your essay as a narrative and inviting the reader to share your memorable experience. Use dialogue, sensory elements, and descriptive language to make the tale come to life. Show, not tell, how the event has affected your life.
• Showcase Its Significance: After you’ve described the incident, consider its relevance and the lessons you learnt from it. Describe how it has affected your beliefs, objectives, or worldview. Reflections should be sincere and self-reflective.
• Highlight Your Personal Growth: Showcase your progress by emphasising how the noteworthy event has helped you grow personally. Talk about the difficulties you encountered, the steps you took to overcome them, and the abilities or traits you acquired as a result.
• Build a Link with the Future: Link your meaningful experience to your hopes and goals for the future. Describe how your future decisions, activities, or contributions to your community or field of interest will be impacted by the lessons you have learned and the values you have gained.
• Make Your Words and Examples Vivid: Making your essay memorable requires the use of vivid language, striking imagery, and precise examples. This makes your tale more relatable and powerful, and it also helps to interest the reader.
• Proofread Your Essay: After writing the first draft, edit and revise your essay. Verify your writing for grammatical, punctuation, and clarity faults. Make sure your essay makes sense and that you can clearly explain your thoughts.

It’s important to remember that your essay should be real and honest, allowing for the expression of your viewpoint and voice. By using these techniques, you can write an essay that conveys the importance of your experience and leaves the reader with a lasting impression.

Also Read: The Value Of The Right Advice In College Admissions: Guiding Your Path To Success

Examples and Inspiration

Let’s take a look at examples of some significant essay prompts related to application essay ideas that can you consider for practising:

Example 1: Overcoming My Fear of Public Speaking

I experienced a debilitating fear of speaking in public during my high school years. Every time I had to present a project or speak in front of my classmates, my hands would sweat profusely, my heart would race, and my words would get jumbled up. However, I knew that confronting this fear was crucial for my personal growth and future success.

To tackle my fear, I enrolled in a public speaking course and made a commitment to work through it. I finally conquered my fear through constant practice, preparation, and determination, delivering polished and confident presentations. The experience taught me the importance of stepping out of my comfort zone and the value of hard work.

Key Takeaways:

• Conquering one’s fears can lead to self-improvement and personal growth.
• Hard work and dedication can yield great results.

Example 2: Finding My Passion for Community Service

While in college, I was constantly searching for opportunities to make a difference in the community. Then, I stumbled upon a local non-profit organization whose mission was to assist underprivileged youth. After signing up to volunteer, I was immediately struck by the children’s joy and enthusiasm, and I knew right then that community service was my passion.

Over time, I became more involved with the organization and even started my own initiative to raise funds and awareness for their cause. Through this experience, I learned the power of community service and how helping others can bring meaning and fulfilment to one’s life.

• Finding one’s passion and purpose is crucial for personal fulfilment.
• Assisting others brings happiness to both the helper and the beneficiaries.

Example 3: Getting through Adversity

Unexpected difficulties and barriers might come along in life, and how we respond to them shapes who we are. In my instance, I had to step up and assume additional obligations due to a challenging family circumstance. Initially, I felt overwhelmed and unsure, but I knew I had to get the courage to keep going. I was able to conquer these obstacles with courage and dedication, coming out stronger and more resilient than before. This incident taught me the value of tenacity and the necessity of depending on our inner strength while facing challenges.

Key conclusions

• We can be defined by how we respond to hardship.
• The importance of tenacity and inner fortitude.

Summing It Up

To sum up, the “significant experience” essay prompts offer a potent forum for people to consider and discuss the pivotal events that have affected their life. Through this introspective practice, one develops self-awareness, clarity of purpose, and a better comprehension of their values and ambitions. These pieces promote self-improvement, resiliency, and the cultivation of a growth mindset. People can engage with others, arouse empathy, and create lasting connections by creating fascinating tales around these important experiences. Accepting the chance to think back on our defining experiences gives us the ability to draw lessons from the past, appreciate the present, and sculpt a future that is in line with our true selves.

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Here is an example of a college essay question that demands you discuss challenges and how you overcame them:

“Describe a significant hardship or obstacle you have faced in your life. How did you confront and overcome it? What did you learn from this experience, and how has it shaped you as an individual?”

  Essay Answer:

I can clearly remember the heartbreaking day my family learned of my father’s cancer diagnosis. We were surprised and terrified as the word resonated across the space. Our lives were abruptly flipped upside down, and the difficulties we encountered felt insurmountable. But this struggle turned into a turning point that put my fortitude to the test, gave me priceless life lessons, and helped me become the person I am today.

I had to stand strong for my family while we dealt with my father’s illness. I assumed obligations that were above my years, helping with housework, scheduling appointments, and offering emotional support. It was difficult to juggle my academic obligations with my newly acquired duties, but I refused to let my situation define who I was. I turned to my passion for studying for comfort, utilising it as a way to manage my emotions and keep things in perspective.

A mindset change was necessary to overcome this adversity. I chose to concentrate on our happy and grateful times rather than dwell on the bad. I came to understand how crucial it is to treasure each special moment and look for the positive aspects of even the most trying circumstances. With this new perspective, I was able to develop resilience because I approached each obstacle with tenacity and a firm conviction that we could conquer it.

My father’s sickness taught me the value of compassion and empathy. Seeing his fortitude and bravery in the face of suffering motivated me to be compassionate to those going through similar struggles. I started a support group at my school to offer a secure environment for kids going through various difficulties. My grasp of the human experience has grown due to this event, and I now desire to guide people through their own difficulties.

The journey we went on together as a family taught me the importance of harmony and unwavering love. In the course of supporting one another through the highs and lows of the treatment process, we developed an unbreakable friendship. My mother became my pillar of strength, exhibiting unflinching fortitude and giving me the conviction that love and support could overcome even the most difficult challenges.

This struggle has completely changed who I am. I’ve come out with a greater capacity for empathy, a fortitude that helps me move ahead, and a profound understanding of how fleeting life is. Additionally, having personally seen the positive effects of caring and committed professionals on the lives of patients and their families has strengthened my desire to pursue a career in healthcare.

This well-written essay answer shows how the student encountered a huge challenge, overcame it with tenacity and persistence, gained important lessons, and was moulded by the encounter. It demonstrates the growth and development that resulted from conquering the challenge by incorporating personal tales, thoughts, and a link to future objectives. When replying to a similar prompt, keep in mind that your essay should reflect your individual experiences and writing style.

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College Essay Ideas for Writing About a Significant Experience

Soheila battaglia.

Writing about yourself isn't always easy, but writing about something you care about and were genuinely affected by can produce a great college essay. To help convey what is distinctive about you, write in a way that is true to your own voice. Ideas for significant experience topics include accomplishments, hardships, risks you've taken and times you've helped others.

Explore this article

• An Accomplishment
• A Risk You Have Taken
• A Time You Helped Someone

1 An Accomplishment

The topic of accomplishing a goal is effective for a college essay because it shows the reader you set personal or professional objectives and plan ahead in your life. Selecting a single achievement, you can write about it in such a way that the reader learns about you as an individual. In the essay, you can address why you wanted to achieve that particular goal, what obstacles you had to overcome and what the accomplishment taught you about yourself and others. For example, you could write about a time you won a basketball competition or were selected for a scholarship.

2 A Hardship

You can write about a genuine hardship in a way that shows you as a mature and honest adult reflecting on an experience. Colleges are trying to discern whether or not applicants are a good candidate for their school. Therefore, you should present qualities that present you as a promising potential student with honesty, perseverance, resilience, motivation and thoughtfulness. For example, you might share the experience of your parents divorcing or the hardship of finding new friends and adapting after moving to another country.

3 A Risk You Have Taken

Showing the admissions board that you have taken a risk in the past is an effective way to approach the subject of a significant experience. Some risks you can write about include competing in a dance contest, leading a march at your school, writing an editorial in the school newspaper or trying out for a sports team. This topic is a venue to show you are confident, ambitious and not afraid of failure.

4 A Time You Helped Someone

You can avoid the cliche of "I've always wanted to help people" by being as specific as possible when describing a firsthand experience of helping others. You can reflect on what you learned form the experience and the person you helped and how you will use this lesson in the future. For example, you could write about a period when you volunteered at a homeless shelter or helped another student who was being bullied and then explain how the lessons you learned from that experience -- humility, compassion, the need to stand up for what you believe in -- will affect your future.

• 1 Colorado State University: Narrative One -- Personal Piece on a Significant Experience

About the Author

Soheila Battaglia is a published and award-winning author and filmmaker. She holds an MA in literary cultures from New York University and a BA in ethnic studies from UC Berkeley. She is a college professor of literature and composition.

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Topics for a Personal Narrative Essay

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, writing a significant research experience essay.

I've done some research during high school and want to showcase this experience on my college applications. Can you provide advice on how to write a 'significant research experience essay'? What should I include and how can I highlight the importance of my research? Any tips or suggestions are appreciated!

When writing a significant research experience essay for your college applications, the goal is to demonstrate your accomplishments, interest in the field, and ability to articulate complex ideas. Here are some tips to help you craft a compelling essay:

1. Start with an engaging hook: Begin your essay by piquing the reader's interest, for example by presenting a surprising fact, sharing an anecdote, or highlighting a unique perspective. The hook should be related to your research experience and give the reader a reason to continue reading.

2. Provide necessary context: Give a brief overview of the research project, including the objective, methodology used, and the team you worked with. It's important to establish the foundation of your essay and provide clarity to the readers about the significance of your work.

3. Emphasize your role and contributions: Detail the specific tasks you were responsible for and how you contributed to the overall success of the project. For example, you might explain how you utilized your problem-solving skills to develop a particular plan of action, or share how you worked with others to overcome challenges. Make sure to showcase your expertise and dedication through examples.

4. Highlight the impact and relevance of the research: Discuss the implications of your findings within your field and the broader scientific community. For example, consider explaining the potential applications of your research, or discussing further areas for investigation that the experience inspired you to think about.

5. Reflect on your personal growth: Share how this research experience shaped your academic and career interests, or influenced your perspective on the subject area. Discuss any skills or knowledge you gained and how they will be applicable to your future endeavors, be it in college or a professional setting.

6. End with a strong conclusion: Summarize the main points of your essay and reiterate the significance of your research. You may also want to briefly mention your future aspirations in the field, such as pursuing advanced degrees or working on more research projects.

Remember to revise, edit, and proofread your essay to ensure that it's polished, concise, and engaging. Additionally, ask for feedback from teachers, mentors, or peers who are familiar with your research to get their insights and suggestions on how to strengthen your essay. Or, if you want to get a more objective set of eyes on your essay, consider utilizing CollegeVine's Free Peer Essay Review tool, or submitting your essay for a paid review by an expert college admissions advisor through CollegeVine's marketplace. Sometimes, someone who isn't already familiar with your research experience can give you a clearer sense of how well your points are coming across.

By following these tips, your significant research experience essay can serve as a strong showcase of your abilities and passion for your field. Happy writing!

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College Advising, Superb Application Essay Development

The Significant Experience Essay: More Ideas

In my last post, I discussed what is know as The Significant Experience Essay, which appeared, among other places, in Prompt 1 of the Common Application Personal Statement for 2011-2012. Possibly you’ve done the prewriting exercise I recommended in the last post, and you may even now have an essay in hand and are looking for further assistance. I do provide proofreading and editing services through Mr. B’s Flying Essay Service (rush jobs) and Wordguild Writing Services, both remotely (via e-mail) and in person within a limited geographical area. See the About section of this blog site for more information on those services.  In this post I will discuss how to continue developing ideas for this Significant Experience Essay and will suggest a couple of places to look for examples of Significant Experience essays or descriptions.

In this post, I will offer some suggestions for those who may want to write about a significant personal experience  but have trouble coming up with much when asked to list their achievements, risks or ethical dilemmas. Refer to the last post for the details of this exercise.

I will restate the prompt and then examine each area it defines:

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

These three areas could, of course, be discussed in a single essay. Perhaps you did face an ethical dilemma, took a risk to deal with it and achieved something worthy as a result. This would be a nice trifecta.

On the other hand, you might have struggled to get more than a few things listed in the prewriting exercise (e.g, made soccer team, learned to swim butterfly, reached level 10 of Kill Corps, read the Grapes of Wrath despite myself). Perhaps feel like you’ve never experienced something like a real ethical dilemma. If so, this post is for you.

You may feel that your experiences are pretty limited, but by the age of four or five, have something to say about each of the topic areas raised by this prompt. By the time you’ve even reached kindergarten, you’ve already had the important human experiences: you’ve had to decide whether to tell a lie or not (ethics), conquered many challenges (Learning how to tie your shoes and to float in a pool are both pretty big achievements) and taken many risks.

So start by considering yourself: what things in your life make up your strongest memories. What matters to you is what matters here.

For you, reading the novel Grapes of Wrath when your Junior English teacher inflicted it on you might be a great accomplishment. But surely, you say, this is not worthy of an essay.

Why not? Other writers have, in recent years, produced books about reading the French author Marcel Proust and the the Russian novelist Leo Tolstoy. You don’t even have to have read Proust or Tolstoy to enjoy these books (Find How Proust Can Change Your Life, by Alain de Botton , and Tolstoy and the Purple Chair: My Year of Magical Reading , by Nina Sankovitch, for examples of books about reading specific books).

But is this not an essay about books, then, you ask?  Of course it is, which makes it also suitable for something like the Harvard Supplemental Essay for 2011-2012, which asked for an essay about books, as did the Stanford 2011-2012 application.   Look for a post soon which examines how many different prompts overlap or can be addressed by the same essay–this is something you should note if you are applying to more than a few colleges.  One essay may be used to address several different prompts for different college applications, with little or no tinkering.  Of course, you will probably need several very different essays to start with–you should never turn in two essays on the same trip or the same readings, for example.

To continue with the Significant Experience essay prompt, risk topic:  perhaps you feel that you haven’t taken any real risks. The issue in this topic is defining what a risk is. Most people immediately think of physical risk, but psychological risks are everywhere, as you know if you’ve been turned down when you asked someone to a dance or you flubbed a line of a play in front of an audience. And any physically risky activity carries with it a psychological risk as well as the obvious chance of physical injury. Have you ever dropped an easy pass that would have won the game for your team and then had to deal with the disappointment–or anger–of teammates or coaches? Talk about a risk to your ego. In fact, your response to a defeat or an error you made when you took a risk is a good area for you to explore. Triumph is great, but tumbling into the pit of failure and climbing out again can be even more interesting and revealing in a college application essay.  Risk is everywhere.  Use it.

Another topic area is the ethical dilemma.  It should be relatively easy to come up with an experience for this one–ethical dilemmas present themselves every day. Ethics is a field of philosophy, but it is also a practical activity engaged in by every human living in a community. When have you had to decide between something you were taught–or felt instinctively–to be right or wrong? Small children know about this and make these decisions every time they are asked who made the mess or who broke the glass or who took the cookie. Not to mention the decisions students make about whether to study hard or to cheat on a test or assignment.

The trick in an essay on ethics is to discuss the matter with a sense of perspective and, hopefully, even humor. You may have chosen to do something unethical and then had to rectify it, which adds an element of drama to your narrative but which also adds an element of risk. You want to show, ultimately, that you are ethical. You also want to avoid appearing too uptight or self-righteous. Keep that in mind if you decide to write to this topic. A serious ethical breach may not be a wise topic here, unless you can show how you’ve changed.

Take some time to doodle on a piece of paper now if you were unable to work with the three column exercise in the last blog post and see what comes to mind when you explore your memories of risks, achievements and ethical dilemmas.

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All about college essays: Top 6 Tips on how to tackle the “Evaluate a significant experience” essay question

Application Process , Essay Writing | Aug 17., 2010 by admin | 0 Comments

Post By : COYD Staff

1. Don’t regurgitate your resume.

You have already listed your accomplishments and awards in your application. Don’t use this precious essay space to reiterate your accomplishments.

2. Answer the question.

The question says “Evaluate” not “Describe”. The Merriam-Webster definition of “evaluate” is “to determine the significance, worth, or condition of, usually by careful appraisal and study.” Thus, the majority of the essay should be determining the significance of this experience, not just describing it. In high school you learn that when you write an evaluative essay you must start with a clear stance, a judgment. In addition, you need to have evidence to support your stance. For this type of essay, strong evidence would be past experiences, people, and events in your life that can back up this judgment. Most of the time, the experience, achievement, risk, or dilemma is just the tip of an iceberg made up of a history of lessons learned, wisdom gained, and past experiences that combined to bring you to that point.

For instance, let’s say your significant risk was running for president of your student body. In order to truly evaluate this risk, you need to provide details about your past experiences, your surroundings, and the people who have influenced you in order to show the impact it had on you. For some students, it wasn’t a risk because public speaking is a cinch for them. For other students, it is a huge risk because the fear of rejection and public speaking are their biggest fears.

Also, don’t forget the “it’s impact on you” portion. Most students who truly “evaluate” the significant experience and not just describe it do in fact naturally include the impact it has on them. This could be a good way to determine if you are truly evaluating or just describing this significant experience.

3. Focus on 1 thing.

Though the essay question lists several items, it only asks for one particular thing whether it is an experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma. The key word in this question is “or”. Many students incorporate several things and this dilutes the answer in addition to not properly answering the question.

4. Keep it focused and detailed.

To piggyback on the above point, the reason why the question only asks you for one significant, experience, achievement…etc is because you only have a limited amount of words to describe it. Focus on just one thing, and back it up with specific and detailed examples.

5. What is the purpose of the question?

Like the “ Person who influenced you ” essay question , this question is once again a way for the admissions officers to discover your character. Look back at yesterday’s blog post to see a list of values and attributes that admissions officers want to see in a prospective freshman.

6. Don’t write about an ethical dilemma that will incriminate you.

I recently read an essay where the student talks about snorting cocaine and trying other drugs. By the end of the essay, I was emotionally moved; however, I don’t know if every admission officer would want to admit a student that has used drugs. It is very hard for students with a criminal record to get into the nation’s top colleges so I would generally advise students not to admit an act that was in violation of the law.

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How to Write Successful Md-PhD and Significant Research Experience Essays

MD-PhD Essay

The MD-PhD Essay is a straightforward “ Why essay ” — in other words, admissions is hoping to learn why you’re pursuing the combined MD-PhD degree. This essay is limited to 3,000 characters, which comes out to about 500-600 words or one page single-spaced. 

In order to submit a winning MD-PhD essay, we recommend getting creative. Since these essays are so straightforward, it’s very easy for them to read as dry and impersonal. See if instead, you can tell admissions a story that will both answer the question, “Why are you pursuing a combined MD-PhD degree?” and reveal more information about yourself.

Maybe you want to open your essay with an anecdote from your dinner table in the late 90s, when you took your first stab at Operation (pun intended). Or perhaps your story starts at a cabin with your favorite relative, who encouraged you to find meaningful, rewarding work that serves your community. Regardless of where your story begins, try your best to frame it as just that: a story.  

Significant Research Essay

In addition to the MD-PhD Essay, you are required to write an essay that is frequently referred to as the Significant Research Experience Essay, which — you guessed it! — describes your noteworthy research experiences. In this essay, AMCAS asks applicants to specify their research supervisor’s name and affiliation, the duration of the study, the nature of the issue examined, and their specific contributions to the research effort. This essay is limited to 10,000 characters.

If your research resulted in a publication of which you were an author, you will also be asked to enter the full citation in the Work/Activities section of your application.

The Significant Research Experience essay is about as academic as they come, and for that reason, we advise you to stick to the facts. If you have notes, now is the time to reference them. If your research experience is lacking, use any extra space you have to focus on why the research experience was significant to you, and how you might continue to research this problem or event in the future.

Ultimately, like with all admissions essays, your goal for both of these assignments should be to give admissions a clear understanding of your background and the next steps you will take if you are accepted!

About Kat Stubing

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Written by Kat Stubing

Category: Admissions , Uncategorized

Tags: MD-PhD essay , med school , med school admissions , medical school , medical school applications , medical school secondaries , Significant Research essay

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Tips for the Pre-2013 Personal Essay Options on the Common Application

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Important Note for 2019-20 Applicants: The Common Application essay options have changed twice since this article was written! Nevertheless, the tips and sample essays below will still provide useful guidance and essay samples for the current Common Application, and both the old and new applications include the "topic of your choice" option. That said, be sure to read the most up-to-date article on the 2019-20 Common Application Essay Prompts .

________________________________

Here's the original article:

The first step to writing a stellar personal essay on your college application is to understand your options. Below is a discussion of the six essay options from the Common Application . Also be sure to check out these 5 Application Essay Tips .

Option #1. Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Note the key word here: evaluate. You aren't just describing something; the best essays will explore the complexity of the issue. When you examine the "impact on you," you need to show the depth of your critical thinking abilities. Introspection, self-awareness and self-analysis are all important here. And be careful with essays about the winning touchdown or tie-breaking goal. These sometimes have an off-putting "look how great I am" tone and very little self-evaluation.

• Read Drew's essay, "The Job I Should Have Quit," for an example of option #1
• 5 tips for essay option #1

Option #2. Discuss some issue of personal, local, national, or international concern and its importance to you.

Be careful to keep the "importance to you" at the heart of your essay. It's easy to get off track with this essay topic and start ranting about global warming, Darfur, or abortion. The admissions folks want to discover your character, passions and abilities in the essay; they want more than a political lecture.

• Read Sophie's essay, "The Allegany County Youth Board," for an example of option #2
• 5 tips for essay option #2

Option #3. Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence.

I'm not a fan of this prompt because of the wording: "describe that influence." A good essay on this topic does more than "describe." Dig deep and "analyze." And handle a "hero" essay with care. Your readers have probably seen a lot of essays talking about what a great role model Mom or Dad or Sis is. Also realize that the "influence" of this person doesn't need to be positive.

• Read Max's essay, "Student Teacher," for an example of option #3
• Read Jill's essay, "Buck Up," for another example of option #3
• Read Catherine's essay, "Diamond in the Rough," for yet another example of option #3
• 6 tips for essay option #3

Option #4. Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.

Here as in #3, be careful of that word "describe." You should really be "analyzing" this character or creative work. What makes it so powerful and influential?

• Read Felicity's essay, "Porkopolis," for an example of option #4
• Read Eileen's essay, "Wallflower," for another example of option #4
• 7 tips for essay option #4

Option #5. A range of academic interests, personal perspectives, and life experiences adds much to the educational mix. Given your personal background, describe an experience that illustrates what you would bring to the diversity in a college community, or an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.

Realize that this question defines "diversity" in broad terms. It's not specifically about race or ethnicity (although it can be). Ideally, the admissions folks want every student they admit to contribute to the richness and breadth of the campus community. How do you contribute?

• Read Carrie's essay, "Give Goth a Chance," for an example of option #5
• 5 tips for essay option #5

Option #6. Topic of your choice.

Sometimes you have a story to share that doesn't quite fit into any of the options above. However, the first five topics are broad with a lot of flexibility, so make sure your topic really can't be identified with one of them. Also, don't equate "topic of your choice" with a license to write a comedy routine or poem (you can submit such things via the "Additional Info" option). Essays written for this prompt still need to have substance and tell your reader something about you.

• Read Lora's essay, "Eating Eyeballs," for a sample of option #6
• 5 Tips for a College Admissions Essay on an Important Issue
• Sample Application Essay - Porkopolis
• Tips for an Application Essay on a Significant Experience
• UC Personal Statement Prompt #1
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• "Grandpa's Rubik's Cube"—Sample Common Application Essay, Option #4
• Common Application Essay on a Meaningful Place
• The Length Requirements for the Common Application Essay in 2020-21
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• Sample College Admissions Essay - Student Teacher
• Tips for Writing a Winning College Transfer Essay
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• A Sample Essay for Common Application Option #7: Topic of Your Choice
• Tips for the 8 University of California Personal Insight Questions

Home — Essay Samples — Life — Life Experiences — Personal Experience

Personal Experience Essays

Personal experiences are the threads that weave the fabric of our lives. Writing a personal experience essay isn't just about storytelling; it's about finding meaning, connecting with others, and leaving your mark on the world. So, why should you write an essay about your personal experiences? Let's explore the importance together! 🌟

Personal Experience Essay Topics 📝

Selecting the right essay topic is key to crafting a compelling narrative. Here's how to pick one:

Personal Experience Argumentative Essay 🤨

Argumentative essays based on personal experiences require you to defend a viewpoint or argument. Here are ten intriguing topics:

• 1. Argue for or against the idea that personal experiences are the most influential factors shaping an individual's personality.
• 2. Defend your perspective on whether overcoming adversity through personal experiences builds stronger character.
• 3. Debate the impact of personal experiences on shaping one's political beliefs and values.
• 4. Argue for the significance of sharing personal experiences in order to promote empathy and understanding among diverse communities.
• 5. Defend the idea that personal experiences play a crucial role in career development and decision-making.
• 6. Debate the ethical implications of sharing deeply personal experiences in the era of social media and oversharing.
• 7. Argue for the therapeutic benefits of writing about and reflecting on personal experiences.
• 8. Defend your perspective on whether personal experiences should be a central part of school curricula.
• 9. Debate the influence of personal experiences on an individual's approach to health and wellness.
• 10. Argue for or against the notion that personal experiences can serve as catalysts for social change and activism.

Personal Experience Cause and Effect Essay 🤯

Cause and effect essays based on personal experiences explore the reasons behind events and their consequences. Here are ten topics to consider:

• 1. Analyze the causes and effects of a life-changing personal experience on your academic or career choices.
• 2. Examine how personal experiences can lead to personal growth, increased self-awareness, and improved well-being.
• 3. Investigate the effects of travel experiences on personal perspectives and cultural understanding.
• 4. Analyze the causes and consequences of sharing personal experiences with others, including its impact on relationships.
• 5. Examine how personal experiences can influence one's hobbies, interests, and leisure activities.
• 6. Investigate the impact of a significant personal experience on your family dynamics and relationships.
• 7. Analyze the causes of personal transformation through exposure to diverse cultures and environments.
• 8. Examine how personal experiences can shape one's attitude toward risk-taking and adventure.
• 9. Investigate the effects of sharing personal experiences through writing, art, or storytelling on your personal well-being.
• 10. Analyze the causes and consequences of personal experiences that challenge societal norms and expectations.

Personal Experience Opinion Essay 😌

Opinion essays based on personal experiences allow you to express your subjective viewpoints. Here are ten topics to consider:

• 1. Share your opinion on the importance of documenting personal experiences for future generations.
• 2. Discuss your perspective on whether personal experiences should be kept private or shared openly.
• 3. Express your thoughts on how personal experiences have shaped your sense of identity and self-worth.
• 4. Debate the significance of personal experiences in fostering empathy and compassion among individuals and communities.
• 5. Share your views on the role of personal experiences in building resilience and coping with life's challenges.
• 6. Discuss the impact of personal experiences on your approach to decision-making and problem-solving.
• 7. Express your opinion on the therapeutic benefits of writing or talking about personal experiences.
• 8. Debate the influence of personal experiences on your sense of purpose and life goals.
• 9. Share your perspective on how personal experiences can inspire creativity and artistic expression.
• 10. Discuss your favorite personal experience and the lessons or insights it has provided.

Personal Experience Informative Essay 🧐

Informative essays based on personal experiences aim to educate readers. Here are ten informative topics to explore:

• 1. Provide an in-depth analysis of the impact of a specific personal experience on your career choices and aspirations.
• 2. Explore the therapeutic benefits of journaling and writing about personal experiences for mental health and well-being.
• 3. Investigate the history and significance of storytelling as a means of preserving personal experiences and cultural heritage.
• 4. Analyze the connection between personal experiences and the development of emotional intelligence.
• 5. Examine the influence of personal experiences on decision-making processes and risk assessment.
• 6. Investigate the role of personal experiences in shaping cultural perceptions and worldviews.
• 7. Provide insights into the art of crafting compelling narratives based on personal experiences.
• 8. Analyze the impact of personal experiences on an individual's resilience and ability to adapt to change.
• 9. Examine how personal experiences can serve as valuable life lessons and sources of wisdom.
• 10. Investigate the therapeutic benefits of group discussions and support networks for individuals sharing similar personal experiences.

Personal Experience Essay Example 📄

Personal experience thesis statement examples 📜.

Here are five examples of strong thesis statements for your personal experience essay:

• 1. "Through the lens of personal experiences, we uncover the profound impact that seemingly ordinary moments can have on our lives, reshaping our perspectives and guiding our journeys."
• 2. "Personal experiences serve as powerful mirrors reflecting our growth, resilience, and capacity to navigate life's challenges, ultimately shaping the narratives of our existence."
• 3. "The sharing of personal experiences is an act of vulnerability and courage, fostering connections, empathy, and a deeper understanding of the human condition."
• 4. "Our personal experiences are the brushstrokes on the canvas of our identity, influencing our choices, values, and the stories we tell ourselves and others."
• 5. "In exploring personal experiences, we embark on a journey of self-discovery, unlocking the untold stories that shape our uniqueness and enrich our shared human tapestry."

Personal Experience Essay Introduction Examples 🚀

Here are three captivating introduction paragraphs to kickstart your essay:

• 1. "Amid the chaos of everyday life, our personal experiences are the constellations that guide us, the moments that define us. As we embark on this essay journey into the depths of our own stories, we unravel the threads of our existence, each tale a testament to the power of the personal."
• 2. "Picture a canvas where the brushstrokes are the chapters of your life—a canvas waiting for you to paint your experiences, thoughts, and emotions. The personal experience essay is your opportunity to create a masterpiece that reflects the colors of your journey."
• 3. "In a world of noise and distractions, our personal experiences are the melodies that resonate within us. As we venture into the heart of this essay, we uncover the symphony of our lives—a composition of highs, lows, and the beauty in between."

Personal Experience Conclusion Examples 🌟

Conclude your essay with impact using these examples:

• 1. "As we close the chapter on this exploration of personal experiences, we are reminded that our stories are the threads that connect us all. The journey continues, and each experience, no matter how small, contributes to the tapestry of our shared humanity."
• 2. "In the final brushstroke of our personal experience essay, we recognize that our stories are not finite; they are ever-evolving, ever-inspiring. The canvas of life awaits, ready for us to create new narratives and continue shaping our destinies."
• 3. "As the echoes of our personal experiences linger, we stand at the intersection of past, present, and future. The essay's conclusion is but a pause in the symphony of our lives, with countless more notes to be played and stories to be written."

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8 Overcoming Challenges College Essay Examples

The purpose of the Overcoming Challenges essay is for schools to see how you might handle the difficulties of college. They want to know how you grow, evolve, and learn when you face adversity. For this topic, there are many clichés , such as getting a bad grade or losing a sports game, so be sure to steer clear of those and focus on a topic that’s unique to you. (See our full guide on the Overcoming Challenges Essay for more tips).

These overcoming challenges essay examples were all written by real students. Read through them to get a sense of what makes a strong essay. At the end, we’ll present the revision process for the first essay and share some resources for improving your essay.

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Essay 1: Becoming a Coach

“Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly their dejectedness, at not being able to compete.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. The writer shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.

One area of improvement of this essay would be the “attack” wording. The author likely uses this word as a metaphor for martial arts, but it feels too strong to describe the adults’ doubt of the student’s abilities as a coach, and can even be confusing at first.

Still, we see the student’s resilience as they are able to move past the disbelieving looks to help their team. The essay is kept real and vulnerable, however, as the writer admits having doubts: Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

Essay 2: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This essay is an excellent example because the writer turns an everyday challenge—starting a fire—into an exploration of her identity. The writer was once “a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes,” but has since traded her love of the outdoors for a love of music, writing, and reading. 

The story begins in media res , or in the middle of the action, allowing readers to feel as if we’re there with the writer. One of the essay’s biggest strengths is its use of imagery. We can easily visualize the writer’s childhood and the present day. For instance, she states that she “rubbed and rubbed [the twigs] until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers.”

The writing has an extremely literary quality, particularly with its wordplay. The writer reappropriates words and meanings, and even appeals to the senses: “My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame.” She later uses a parallelism to cleverly juxtapose her changed interests: “instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano.”

One of the essay’s main areas of improvement is its overemphasis on the “story” and lack of emphasis on the reflection. The second to last paragraph about changing perspective is crucial to the essay, as it ties the anecdote to larger lessons in the writer’s life. She states that she hasn’t changed, but has only shifted perspective. Yet, we don’t get a good sense of where this realization comes from and how it impacts her life going forward. 

The end of the essay offers a satisfying return to the fire imagery, and highlights the writer’s passion—the one thing that has remained constant in her life.

Essay 3: Last-Minute Switch

The morning of the Model United Nation conference, I walked into Committee feeling confident about my research. We were simulating the Nuremberg Trials – a series of post-World War II proceedings for war crimes – and my portfolio was of the Soviet Judge Major General Iona Nikitchenko. Until that day, the infamous Nazi regime had only been a chapter in my history textbook; however, the conference’s unveiling of each defendant’s crimes brought those horrors to life. The previous night, I had organized my research, proofread my position paper and gone over Judge Nikitchenko’s pertinent statements. I aimed to find the perfect balance between his stance and my own.

As I walked into committee anticipating a battle of wits, my director abruptly called out to me. “I’m afraid we’ve received a late confirmation from another delegate who will be representing Judge Nikitchenko. You, on the other hand, are now the defense attorney, Otto Stahmer.” Everyone around me buzzed around the room in excitement, coordinating with their allies and developing strategies against their enemies, oblivious to the bomb that had just dropped on me. I felt frozen in my tracks, and it seemed that only rage against the careless delegate who had confirmed her presence so late could pull me out of my trance. After having spent a month painstakingly crafting my verdicts and gathering evidence against the Nazis, I now needed to reverse my stance only three hours before the first session.

Gradually, anger gave way to utter panic. My research was fundamental to my performance, and without it, I knew I could add little to the Trials. But confident in my ability, my director optimistically recommended constructing an impromptu defense. Nervously, I began my research anew. Despite feeling hopeless, as I read through the prosecution’s arguments, I uncovered substantial loopholes. I noticed a lack of conclusive evidence against the defendants and certain inconsistencies in testimonies. My discovery energized me, inspiring me to revisit the historical overview in my conference “Background Guide” and to search the web for other relevant articles. Some Nazi prisoners had been treated as “guilty” before their court dates. While I had brushed this information under the carpet while developing my position as a judge, i t now became the focus of my defense. I began scratching out a new argument, centered on the premise that the allied countries had violated the fundamental rule that, a defendant was “not guilty” until proven otherwise.

At the end of the three hours, I felt better prepared. The first session began, and with bravado, I raised my placard to speak. Microphone in hand, I turned to face my audience. “Greetings delegates. I, Otto Stahmer would like to…….” I suddenly blanked. Utter dread permeated my body as I tried to recall my thoughts in vain. “Defence Attorney, Stahmer we’ll come back to you,” my Committee Director broke the silence as I tottered back to my seat, flushed with embarrassment. Despite my shame, I was undeterred. I needed to vindicate my director’s faith in me. I pulled out my notes, refocused, and began outlining my arguments in a more clear and direct manner. Thereafter, I spoke articulately, confidently putting forth my points. I was overjoyed when Secretariat members congratulated me on my fine performance.

Going into the conference, I believed that preparation was the key to success. I wouldn’t say I disagree with that statement now, but I believe adaptability is equally important. My ability to problem-solve in the face of an unforeseen challenge proved advantageous in the art of diplomacy. Not only did this experience transform me into a confident and eloquent delegate at that conference, but it also helped me become a more flexible and creative thinker in a variety of other capacities. Now that I know I can adapt under pressure, I look forward to engaging in activities that will push me to be even quicker on my feet.

This essay is an excellent example because it focuses on a unique challenge and is highly engaging. The writer details their experience reversing their stance in a Model UN trial with only a few hours notice, after having researched and prepared to argue the opposite perspective for a month. 

Their essay is written in media res , or in the middle of the action, allowing readers to feel as if we’re there with the writer. The student openly shares their internal thoughts with us — we feel their anger and panic upon the reversal of roles. We empathize with their emotions of “utter dread” and embarrassment when they’re unable to speak. 

From the essay, we learn that the student believes in thorough preparation, but can also adapt to unforeseen obstacles. They’re able to rise to the challenge and put together an impromptu argument, think critically under pressure, and recover after their initial inability to speak. 

Essay 4: Music as a Coping Mechanism

CW: This essay mentions self-harm.

Sobbing uncontrollably, I parked around the corner from my best friend’s house. As I sat in the driver’s seat, I whispered the most earnest prayer I had ever offered.

Minutes before, I had driven to Colin’s house to pick up a prop for our upcoming spring musical. When I got there, his older brother, Tom, came to the door and informed me that no one else was home. “No,” I corrected, “Colin is here. He’s got a migraine.” Tom shook his head and gently told me where Colin actually was: the psychiatric unit of the local hospital. I felt a weight on my chest as I connected the dots; the terrifying picture rocked my safe little world. Tom’s words blurred as he explained Colin’s self-harm, but all I could think of was whether I could have stopped him. Those cuts on his arms had never been accidents. Colin had lied, very convincingly, many times. How could I have ignored the signs in front of me? Somehow, I managed to ask Tom whether I could see him, but he told me that visiting hours for non-family members were over for the day. I would have to move on with my afternoon.

Once my tears had subsided a little, I drove to the theater, trying to pull myself together and warm up to sing. How would I rehearse? I couldn’t sing three notes without bursting into tears. “I can’t do this,” I thought. But then I realized that the question wasn’t whether I could do it. I knew Colin would want me to push through, and something deep inside told me that music was the best way for me to process my grief. I needed to sing.

I practiced the lyrics throughout my whole drive. The first few times, I broke down in sobs. By the time I reached the theater, however, the music had calmed me. While Colin would never be far from my mind, I had to focus on the task ahead: recording vocals and then producing the video trailer that would be shown to my high school classmates. I fought to channel my worry into my recording. If my voice shook during the particularly heartfelt moments, it only added emotion and depth to my performance. I felt Colin’s absence next to me, but even before I listened to that first take, I knew it was a keeper.

With one of my hurdles behind me, I steeled myself again and prepared for the musical’s trailer. In a floor-length black cape and purple dress, I swept regally down the steps to my director, who waited outside. Under a gloomy sky that threatened to turn stormy, I boldly strode across the street, tossed a dainty yellow bouquet, and flashed confident grins at all those staring. My grief lurched inside, but I felt powerful. Despite my sadness, I could still make art.

To my own surprise, I successfully took back the day. I had felt pain, but I had not let it drown me – making music was a productive way to express my feelings than worrying. Since then, I have been learning to take better care of myself in difficult situations. That day before rehearsal, I found myself in the most troubling circumstances of my life thus far, but they did not sink me because I refused to sink. When my aunt developed cancer several months later, I knew that resolution would not come quickly, but that I could rely on music to cope with the agony, even when it would be easier to fall apart. Thankfully, Colin recovered from his injuries and was home within days. The next week, we stood together on stage at our show’s opening night. As our eyes met and our voices joined in song, I knew that music would always be our greatest mechanism for transforming pain into strength.

This essay is well-written, as we can feel the writer’s emotions through the thoughts they share, and visualize the night of the performance through their rich descriptions. Their varied sentence length also makes the essay more engaging.

That said, this essay is not a great example because of the framing of the topic. The writer can come off as insensitive since they make their friend’s struggle about themself and their emotions (and this is only worsened by the mention of their aunt’s cancer and how it was tough on them ). The essay would’ve been stronger if it focused on their guilt of not recognizing their friend’s struggles and spanned a longer period of time to demonstrate gradual relationship building and reflection. Still, this would’ve been difficult to do well.

In general, you should try to choose a challenge that is undeniably your own, and you should get at least one or two people to read your essay to give you candid feedback.

Essay 5: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

While the writer didn’t succeed in getting the track dedicated to Coach Stark, their essay is certainly successful in showing their willingness to push themselves and take initiative.

The essay opens with a quote from Coach Stark that later comes full circle at the end of the essay. We learn about Stark’s impact and the motivation for trying to get the track dedicated to him.

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The essay goes on to explain how the writer overcame their apprehension of public speaking, and likens the process of submitting an appeal to the school board to running a race. This metaphor makes the writing more engaging and allows us to feel the student’s emotions.

While the student didn’t ultimately succeed in getting the track dedicated, we learn about their resilience and initiative: I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Overall, this essay is well-done. It demonstrates growth despite failing to meet a goal, which is a unique essay structure. The running metaphor and full-circle intro/ending also elevate the writing in this essay.

Essay 6: Body Image

CW: This essay mentions eating disorders.

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

We can see that the writer of this essay has been through a lot, and a strength of their essay is their vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members.

Still, this essay shows us that this student is honest, self-aware, and caring, which are all qualities admissions officer are looking for.

Essay 7: Health Crisis

Tears streamed down my face and my mind was paralyzed with fear. Sirens blared, but the silent panic in my own head was deafening. I was muted by shock. A few hours earlier, I had anticipated a vacation in Washington, D.C., but unexpectedly, I was rushing to the hospital behind an ambulance carrying my mother. As a fourteen-year-old from a single mother household, without a driver’s license, and seven hours from home, I was distraught over the prospect of losing the only parent I had. My fear turned into action as I made some of the bravest decisions of my life. 

Three blood transfusions later, my mother’s condition was stable, but we were still states away from home, so I coordinated with my mother’s doctors in North Carolina to schedule the emergency operation that would save her life. Throughout her surgery, I anxiously awaited any word from her surgeon, but each time I asked, I was told that there had been another complication or delay. Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities.

My mother had been a source of strength for me, and now I would be strong for her through her long recovery ahead. As I started high school, everyone thought the crisis was over, but it had really just started to impact my life. My mother was often fatigued, so I assumed more responsibility, juggling family duties, school, athletics, and work. I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover. I didn’t know I was capable of such maturity and resourcefulness until it was called upon. Each day was a stage in my gradual transformation from dependence to relative independence.

Throughout my mother’s health crisis, I matured by learning to put others’ needs before my own. As I worried about my mother’s health, I took nothing for granted, cherished what I had, and used my daily activities as motivation to move forward. I now take ownership over small decisions such as scheduling daily appointments and managing my time but also over major decisions involving my future, including the college admissions process. Although I have become more independent, my mother and I are inseparably close, and the realization that I almost lost her affects me daily. Each morning, I wake up ten minutes early simply to eat breakfast with my mother and spend time with her before our busy days begin. I am aware of how quickly life can change. My mother remains a guiding force in my life, but the feeling of empowerment I discovered within myself is the ultimate form of my independence. Though I thought the summer before my freshman year would be a transition from middle school to high school, it was a transformation from childhood to adulthood.

This essay feels real and tells readers a lot about the writer. To start at the beginning, the intro is 10/10. It has drama, it has emotions, and it has the reader wanting more.

And, when you keep going, you get to learn a lot about a very resilient and mature student. Through sentences like “I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover” and “Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities,” the reader shows us that they are aware of their resilience and maturity, but are not arrogant about it. It is simply a fact that they have proven through their actions!

This essay makes us want to cheer for the writer, and they certainly seem like someone who would thrive in a more independent college environment.

Essay 8: Turned Tables

“You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.

Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.

When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also – perhaps more importantly – a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.

As it turned out, Green Academy was everything I’d hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time – and a massive argument – to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.

Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Max’s outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents – not I – had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it – and I didn’t want to.

We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasn’t just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.

We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. I’d long thought Max had it so easy – all because he had friends. The truth was, he didn’t need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate – he had felt plenty of his own.

My failure to recognize Max’s suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone – most certainly – has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story.

Here you can find a prime example that you don’t have to have fabulous imagery or flowery prose to write a successful essay. You just have to be clear and say something that matters. This essay is simple and beautiful. It almost feels like having a conversation with a friend and learning that they are an even better person than you already thought they were.

Through this narrative, readers learn a lot about the writer—where they’re from, what their family life is like, what their challenges were as a kid, and even their sexuality. We also learn a lot about their values—notably, the value they place on awareness, improvement, and consideration of others. Though they never explicitly state it (which is great because it is still crystal clear!), this student’s ending of “I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story” shows that they are constantly striving for improvement and finding lessons anywhere they can get them in life.

Where to Get Your Overcoming Challenges Essays Edited

Do you want feedback on your Overcoming Challenges essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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