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How to Write the Santa Clara University 2024-2025 Supplemental Essays

Santa Clara University, known for its academic excellence and commitment to social justice, has released its 2024-2025 supplemental essay prompts . These essays are an opportunity for you to showcase your unique experiences, values, and aspirations. Let's break down the prompts and how to approach them effectively.

Overview of the Santa Clara University Supplemental Essay Prompts

Required: Why are you interested in pursuing the [Division or Major] selected above? (50 words)

Required: At Santa Clara University, we value our diverse and inclusive community. Our campus learning environment is enriched by the lived experiences of people from different backgrounds. What people, places, events, or circumstances have shaped the individual you are today, and how could you contribute to our community? (300 words)

Required: At Santa Clara University, we push our students to be creative, be challenged, and be the solution. Think about an ethical dilemma that you care about that our society is currently facing. This can be something happening in your local community or more globally. How can an SCU education help you prepare for and address this challenge? (300 words)

How to Approach Each Prompt

Prompt 1: why are you interested in pursuing the [division or major] selected above (50 words).

This prompt requires a concise yet impactful response. Here are some strategies:

Be Specific: Mention specific courses, professors, or resources at Santa Clara University that draw you to the program.

Show Passion: Use vivid language to describe your interest and enthusiasm for the field.

Connect to Your Goals: Briefly highlight how this major or division aligns with your long-term career aspirations.

Prompt 2: Diverse and Inclusive Community (300 words)

This is your chance to share your story and how it has prepared you to contribute to Santa Clara’s inclusive community. Here’s how to approach it:

Reflect Deeply: Think about the diverse experiences that have shaped you and how they give you a unique perspective.

Be Authentic: Share personal anecdotes and specific examples that highlight your background and experiences.

Envision Your Contribution: Discuss how you plan to engage with and enhance the SCU community. Tie in specific organizations, events, or initiatives you are excited to join.

Get Feedback: Consider using a platform like Sups AI to brainstorm and refine your essay. Sups AI offers one-on-one chats with current students who can provide valuable insights.

Prompt 3: Addressing an Ethical Dilemma (300 words)

This prompt requires you to think critically and demonstrate your problem-solving abilities. Follow these tips:

Choose a Relevant Issue: Select an ethical dilemma that resonates personally or that you are genuinely passionate about.

Explain the Problem: Provide context for the issue and why it matters to you.

Propose a Solution: Discuss how a Santa Clara education will equip you with the skills and knowledge to tackle this problem. Mention relevant courses, clubs, or programs.

Seek Feedback: Use Sups AI to get constructive feedback from experts and refine your essay.

Remember, Santa Clara University’s supplemental essays are a chance to highlight your individuality and your potential contribution to the SCU community. Take your time to reflect, write authentically, and leverage resources like Sups AI for the best results. Good luck!

Santa Clara University Supplemental Essays 2022-23

Santa Clara University is a research university located in California. If you want to stand out in the SCU admissions process, the Santa Clara University supplemental essays can make a huge difference. In this guide, we’ll break down each of the Santa Clara supplemental essays in detail.

But before we dive into the Santa Clara essay prompts, let’s learn a bit more about the school. 

Santa Clara Supplemental Essays: Quick Facts

• Santa Clara University Acceptance Rate: 54%– According to U.S. News , the Santa Clara University Rankings is categorized as a more selective school. 
• 200 word essay (a “why Santa Clara” essay)
• 150 – 300 word essay (an additional essay about how you would address an ethical dilemma)
• Santa Clara University Application: Students must submit their Santa Clara University application through the Common Application . Make sure to have all of your Santa Clara supplemental essays and other required application materials prepared by the deadline 
• Early Decision: November 1st
• Early Action: November 1st
• Regular Decision: January 7th 
• Santa Clara University Supplemental Essays Tip: The Santa Clara University supplemental essays are your chance to stand out—so make the most of them. Think carefully about each of the Santa Clara supplemental essays, as they are a key component of your application. 

Does Santa Clara University have supplemental essays?

Yes. There are two Santa Clara University supplemental essays that students must complete. We’ll share the full prompts for the Santa Clara University supplemental essays later in this guide. 

The first of the two Santa Clara University supplemental essays is the “Why Santa Clara University” essay. It has a 200-word limit. This is a classic why this college essay. You might have encountered similar prompts for other colleges—and, if you have, you’re already one step ahead. 

The second of the Santa Clara University supplemental essays asks about how your education at SCU would prepare you to solve an ethical dilemma. This essay has a 150-300 word limit. 

Preparing for the Santa Clara supplemental essays

Given that there are two Santa Clara essay prompts, you should be prepared to spend ample time brainstorming. You should also plan to complete several drafts before you submit your Santa Clara supplemental essays. In this guide, we’ll help you approach this brainstorming process so that your responses to the Santa Clara essay prompts stand out in the admissions process. 

With each of the Santa Clara University supplemental essays, you should demonstrate your understanding of the university’s values and mission. Your Santa Clara essays should also highlight your own commitment to moral and ethical decision-making. 

As you approach the Santa Clara supplemental essays, try to reflect on your personal experiences and perspectives. Additionally, use your Santa Clara essays to think creatively about how you can contribute to a diverse and inclusive community at SCU. 

These Santa Clara University Supplemental essays are an important part of the application process and allow the admissions committee to get to know each applicant beyond their academic achievements and test scores.

What are the Santa Clara University essay prompts?

As mentioned, there are two Santa Clara supplemental essays. Here are the Santa Clara University essay prompts:

“Briefly describe what prompted you to apply to Santa Clara University. Based on what you know about SCU and our Jesuit mission to educate citizens and leaders of competence, conscience, and compassion, how do you envision your life at SCU and beyond?” (200 words)”

“at scu, we push our students to be creative, be challenged, and be the solution. think about an ethical dilemma that you care about that our society is currently facing. this can be something happening in your local community or more globally. how can an scu education help you prepare for and address this challenge” (150-300 words).

The Santa Clara University supplemental essays might look similar to those you’ve seen for other colleges. For instance, you’ve likely encountered a why this college essay at other schools. However, you’ll notice that SCU’s mission and philosophy are at the core of both Santa Clara University essay prompts. 

Next, let’s take a look at each of the Santa Clara University supplemental essays in more detail to help you craft good college essays. 

Santa Clara Supplemental Essays #1: Why This College?

Let’s look at the first of the Santa Clara University supplemental essays. The first of the Santa Clara essay prompts essentially asks “Why Santa Clara?”. 

“Briefly describe what prompted you to apply to Santa Clara University. Based on what you know about SCU and our Jesuit mission to educate citizens and leaders of competence, conscience, and compassion, how do you envision your life at SCU and beyond?” (200 words)

Before you start writing the Santa Clara essays, you should do some research about the university. So, let’s learn a bit more about Santa Clara University.

Santa Clara University is a private Jesuit university located in Santa Clara, California. Founded in 1851, it is the oldest operating institution of higher education in California. The university offers a range of undergraduate, graduate, and professional degree programs, and is known for its strong commitment to social justice and community engagement.

What does SCU value?

As you approach the Santa Clara essay prompts, you should understand that one of the defining characteristics of Santa Clara University is its Jesuit heritage. Jesuit education is rooted in the Catholic intellectual tradition. It emphasizes the development of the whole person—mind, body, and spirit. 

At SCU, this means a commitment to academic excellence, ethical leadership, and service to others. The university’s mission is to educate “men and women for others”—that is, to produce graduates who are not only well-educated but also committed to using their talents and skills to make a positive difference in the world. If these ideas resonate with you, you should use the Santa Clara University supplemental essays to show them. 

Highlighting academic “fit”

When answering the Santa Clara University essay prompts, you should also think about how your academic interests align with SCU’s offerings. This starts by understanding the Santa Clara University majors. 

There are more than 50 undergraduate Santa Clara University majors, as well as a range of graduate and professional degree programs. SCU is also home to several research centers and institutes, including the Markkula Center for Applied Ethics, the Ignatian Center for Jesuit Education, and the Miller Center for Social Entrepreneurship.

These centers provide students with opportunities to engage in research and scholarship that addresses real-world problems and contributes to the common good. If any of these programs pique your interest, you might mention it in your Santa Clara University supplemental essays. 

Location and opportunities

Lastly, the university’s location in the heart of Silicon Valley provides unique opportunities to engage with local organizations and address pressing issues. While location shouldn’t be the sole focus of your Santa Clara University supplemental essays, you can highlight how the school provides opportunities to get involved in the local community. 

SCU students are encouraged to get involved in service and social justice work through programs like the Thriving Neighbors Initiative, which seeks to promote economic and social equity in the surrounding community. The university also has a strong commitment to sustainability and environmental stewardship. In fact, SCU has implemented a range of programs and initiatives to reduce its carbon footprint and promote sustainable practices. 

Choose unique connections

Overall, your Santa Clara University supplemental essays should highlight what makes you the perfect fit for SCU—and how you would make SCU’s campus a better place. So, while you should highlight your interest in SCU, you should also ensure that you are at the center of each of your Santa Clara essays. This will help you make the most of the Santa Clara University essay prompts.

Stay away from rankings and statistics; instead, make sure each of your Santa Clara University supplemental essays is personal and specific. 

Santa Clara Essay Prompt #2: Ethical Dilemma

Next, let’s look at the second of the Santa Clara University essay prompts. 

Your Santa Clara essays provide the admissions team with additional information about you beyond your academic achievements and test scores. The second of the Santa Clara University supplemental essays asks you to choose an ethical dilemma and describe how your education would prepare you to make real-world change.

Highlight your unique perspective

As you approach the second of the Santa Clara supplemental essays, think about an ethical dilemma that matters to you. Pay attention to the prompt’s wording—what is a dilemma that would ask you to “be creative, be challenged, and be the solution”? 

Ideally, this should be a dilemma with which you have some amount of real-world experience or at least a unique perspective. Remember, your Santa Clara essays are a chance to show the admissions team who you are. So, choose something that highlights a key aspect of your identity. 

Center yourself, not your dilemma

Once you’ve chosen a dilemma, it’s time to start writing. As you write, don’t spend the bulk of your words explaining your chosen dilemma. Instead, try to limit your explanation to just a sentence or two. Then, use the rest of your essay to show your plan for approaching the dilemma you’ve chosen. 

How to write the Santa Clara University Supplemental Essays: More Advice

Looking for more targeted guidance on the Santa Clara essay prompts? Check out our tips below to approach each of the Santa Clara University supplemental essays with confidence. 

“Why Santa Clara University” Essay: Tips & Guidelines

1. research the university.

To answer the Santa Clara supplemental essays effectively, you’ll need a solid understanding of Santa Clara University and its Jesuit mission. Take some time to research the university’s history, programs, and values. Then, think about how they align with your own interests and goals. 

2. Be specific

When describing what prompted you to apply to Santa Clara, be as specific as possible. Explain what aspects of the university, such as its academic programs, location, or culture, appeal to you and why. Knowing which of the Santa Clara University majors you want to pursue before you apply can also help strengthen your application narrative. 

3. Connect your goals with SCU’s mission

To answer the second part of the question, think about how your personal and professional goals align with Santa Clara University’s Jesuit mission. SCU aims to educate citizens and leaders on competence, conscience, and compassion. So, explain how you see yourself contributing to this mission and how an SCU education can help you achieve your goals.

4. Show enthusiasm and commitment

Throughout your response, demonstrate your enthusiasm and commitment to Santa Clara University and its mission. Explain why you believe SCU is the right place for you to pursue your academic and personal goals, and show how you are excited about the opportunities that an SCU education can provide.

5. Be concise

With limited space in the Santa Clara supplemental essays, every word counts. Remember to stay within the word limit of 200 words. Use clear and direct language to make your points, and proofread your response carefully for grammar and spelling errors.

Do your research

Overall, to write strong Santa Clara supplemental essays, you should research the university, be specific about what appeals to you about SCU, connect your goals with the university’s mission, show enthusiasm and commitment, and be concise in your writing. 

By following these tips, you can demonstrate to the admissions committee that you are a strong fit for Santa Clara University and its values. The best college essays will highlight what makes you a great fit for SCU, both academically and personally. 

Ethical Dilemma Essay: Tips & Guidelines

1. choose a relevant ethical dilemma.

To write an effective response to this prompt, it’s important to choose an ethical dilemma that is both meaningful to you and relevant to the SCU community. Consider issues that are currently facing society, such as social justice, environmental sustainability, or healthcare access. 

2. Clearly articulate the dilemma

Once you’ve chosen an ethical dilemma to write about, clearly articulate what it is and why it matters to you. Use concrete examples and statistics to help illustrate the issue and explain why it is a challenge that needs to be addressed. Make sure your reader understands why your issue matters—while keeping it concise, of course. 

3. Explain how SCU can help

Next, explain how an SCU education can help you address the challenge. Consider the specific courses, programs, or opportunities that are available at SCU that would be relevant to the issue you’ve chosen. For example, you might discuss how SCU’s focus on social justice or sustainability could help you develop the skills and knowledge necessary to address your chosen challenge

4. Demonstrate your passion and commitment

Finally, demonstrate your passion and commitment to the ethical dilemma you’ve chosen. Explain why it matters to you personally and what steps you’ve taken or plan to take to address the issue. This will help highlight your knowledge, passion, and commitment.

Choose a strong topic

Overall, to write a strong response to this prompt, it’s important to choose a relevant ethical dilemma, clearly articulate the issue and why it matters, explain how an SCU education can help you address the challenge, and demonstrate your passion and commitment to making a difference. Remember to also stay within the word limit of 150-300 words and to proofread your response carefully before submitting.

Does Santa Clara University care about essays?

Yes—scu cares about the santa clara university supplemental essays..

As we’ve discussed, in addition to the Common Application personal statement , there are two Santa Clara supplemental essays. When taken as a whole, your application should show SCU who you are, what matters to you, and why you’d succeed on their campus. So, think carefully about what to include in each of your Santa Clara essays. 

The Santa Clara supplemental essays are designed to let you show your “fit” with the SCU community and mission, as well as your writing skills and personal qualities. The admissions committee at Santa Clara University reviews each application holistically, considering academic achievements, test scores, extracurricular activities, letters of recommendation , community service, personal qualities, and fit with the SCU community and mission. 

How your Santa Clara essays fit into the holistic review process

Good college essays provide valuable insights into a student’s character, interests, and goals. This helps SCU understand how each applicant can enrich the campus community. While the Santa Clara University acceptance rate may seem low, strong Santa Clara essays can increase your admissions odds. 

Of course, the Santa Clara essays are just one part of the application process. However, the best college essays can help you stand out and show how you “fit” with the school’s values. In the Santa Clara supplemental essays, think about how you can become a “citizen and leader of competence, conscience, and compassion”—that is, how you fit with SCU’s mission. By crafting the best college essays, applicants can increase their chances of acceptance.

Santa Clara University Admissions

Within the Santa Clara University application process, the Santa Clara University supplemental essays play an important role. The admissions process at Santa Clara University is competitive, with thousands of applicants vying for a limited number of spots each year. Given the high Santa Clara University ranking, you can expect the SCU admissions team to be discerning. 

For the class of 2025, there were nearly 28,000 applicants, making the Santa Clara University acceptance rate around 50%. So, if you want to increase your admissions odds, you should do all you can to craft a strong application. In your essays and extracurriculars, make sure to highlight your academic achievements, personal qualities, and commitment to Santa Clara University’s Jesuit mission.

You might also wonder how your academics compare to the average admitted student at SCU. For the class of 2025, the average GPA of admitted students fell in the range of 3.6-4.0. Like many schools , Santa Clara University currently has a test-optional policy . This means you can choose whether to submit SAT/ACT scores. Even with this policy, however, high scores can still help you impress the Santa Clara University admissions committee.

Beyond academics

Of course, your grades and scores matter. However, SCU looks at more than just academics when they review your Santa Clara University application. 

The Santa Clara University admissions committee takes a holistic approach to application review. They consider a range of factors including extracurricular activities, community service, personal qualities, and fit with the SCU community and mission. The Santa Clara University supplemental essays are a critical part of the application process. They provide applicants with an opportunity to demonstrate their writing skills, personal qualities, and fit with the university’s Jesuit values. 

Building a narrative

With so many qualified applicants, you’ll want to make sure that you craft an impressive Santa Clara University application narrative. The Santa Clara University supplemental essays play an important role in that narrative. Additionally, the Santa Clara essays matter even more if you have lower grades and scores. So, view each Santa Clara University essay as your opportunity to show what makes you stand out. Each of your Santa Clara University supplemental essays should teach the admissions team something new about you. 

Overall, while high grades and test scores are important factors in the Santa Clara University admissions process, a strong application takes a lot more. With strong Santa Clara University supplemental essays, you can highlight your unique strengths and experiences. That way, you can increase your chances of being accepted to Santa Clara University. 

Santa Clara Supplemental Essays — Key Takeaways

Santa Clara University is a dynamic and vibrant institution that is committed to academic excellence, ethical leadership, and service to others. Its Jesuit heritage and strong commitment to social justice and community engagement make it a unique and rewarding place to learn and grow. Try to take these concepts into account when answering the Santa Clara University essay prompts.

The Santa Clara University supplemental essays are a critical component of the application process. The university’s holistic approach to admissions means that high grades and test scores alone are not enough to guarantee acceptance. Through their Santa Clara essays, applicants must showcase their personal qualities, achievements, and fit with the university’s Jesuit mission. The two Santa Clara supplemental essays offer applicants an opportunity to demonstrate their understanding of the university’s values, mission, and culture, as well as their own commitment to ethical decision-making and community engagement. 

Remember, strong essays take time

To write strong responses to the Santa Clara supplemental essays, applicants should take the time to research the university, be specific about what appeals to them about SCU, connect their goals with the university’s mission, show enthusiasm and commitment, and be concise in their writing. This takes time and effort—so don’t leave your Santa Clara essays to the last minute. Learning more about how to write a why this college Essay can also help you write good college essays for Santa Clara University. 

It is worth noting that the admissions process at Santa Clara University is competitive. However, with the right approach to the application process, including crafting strong responses to the Santa Clara University essay prompts, you can increase your odds. In your essays, highlight your personal achievements, unique experiences, and commitment to the university’s values and mission. 

CollegeAdvisor can help!

In summary, the Santa Clara University supplemental essays matter, and you should take them seriously. Remember, the supplemental essays and personal statement questions are the best ways for you to make a lasting impression on the admissions team. So, make sure that each of your Santa Clara University supplemental essays counts. 

We hope this guide prepared you to write strong Santa Clara essays that highlight your strengths. Good luck!

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How to Ace the 2024-2025 Santa Clara Supplemental Essays

Cait Williams is a Content Writer at Scholarships360. Cait recently graduated from Ohio University with a degree in Journalism and Strategic Communications. During her time at OU, was active in the outdoor recreation community.

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This year’s Santa Clara University supplemental essay prompts are available and they’re waiting for you to give them an answer! If Santa Clara is on your list of schools, we’re here to help you prepare the best possible answers for your SCU supplemental essays. So, let’s jump in!

Introducing Santa Clara University 

Santa Clara University has had a long and rich history steeped in tradition and their Jesuit roots. This university welcomes people of all religious backgrounds to their school in order to promote a dialogue between faith and culture. 

In addition to religion, Sant Clara is committed to providing a community of rigorous academic quality through the courses they offer and the faculty they employ. At Santa Clara, you can find degrees that range from bioengineering to theater and dance. 

Supplemental essay prompt #1

At Santa Clara University, we value our diverse and inclusive community. Our campus learning environment is enriched by the lived experiences of people from different backgrounds. What people, places, events, or circumstances have shaped the individual you are today and how you could contribute to our community? (150- 300 words)

The first prompt on the Santa Clara application is a fairly common essay prompt. They want to know about you and how who you are will add to their campus. So, let’s break this question down into two parts.

Let’s start with thinking about the people, places, events and circumstances that have shaped you. It’s probably not difficult for you to think of at least one thing that is significant in your life, but the key here is thinking of something significant that will also be related to how you add to campus. So, take some time to think about what things are significant to you. You may come up with more than one! 

Part two of this question is where more of the heavy lifting will come in because you will need to translate the things that have been significant in your life into things that you will bring to campus. You may do this in a lot of ways. Perhaps you will start a club, become involved in an on campus volunteer organization, work on campus as an RA, or a number of other things. There’s no right or wrong way to add to campus; the admissions team wants to know that you will bring something to the table that will enrich your own life and others. 

Don’t miss: How to write an essay about yourself

Supplemental essay prompt #2

At SCU, we push our students to be creative, be challenged, and be the solution. Think about an ethical dilemma that you care about that our society is currently facing. This can be something happening in your local community or more globally. How can an SCU education help you prepare for and address this challenge? (150-300 words)

This question is set up in a very similar fashion to the first one. So, let’s also break this question into two parts. 

The first part of this question asks you to think about an ethical dilemma you care about. It’s important to note that they specifically ask for a dilemma that our society is currently facing. So, think of the big picture issues in your county, on major news networks, or statewide! Maybe there’s an issue that people in your community will be voting on soon, or that the Supreme Court will be ruling on, or perhaps another dilemma has something to do with the choices our military is making. 

Take some time to think about ethical dilemmas that you particularly care about! This might take some time, but it’s important to do your research and find an issue that you care about! Some ethical dilemmas that are happening on a large scale may even be occurring around you locally.

Part two of this question is a bit more in depth because it requires you to understand the values that are taught at Santa Clara and how those values will help educate you so that you are prepared to address these ethical dilemmas. 

So, start by looking at the values that Santa Clara holds to. These can usually be found on their website fairly easily. Santa Clara wants to learn how attending their school is going to help you become someone who can have an impact on the issues at hand. 

Questions to consider

• What about SCU’s values and yours align?
• Are there any areas at SCU that you would like to see a change in and be an active part of that change?
• What issues do you know of that SCU has attempted to address?

Further reading: 10 tips for successful college applications

Wrapping up with the SCU supplemental essays

Before we finish up with your SCU supplemental essays, let’s address a few quick tips for these prompts. Both of these essays ask about similar themes. They want to hear about your values and why their school is the right choice for you. Be careful when answering that you don’t give them two answers that are the same. Take advantage of the space offered by showing off the various sides of yourself. 

Make sure your values are yours. When researching schools and writing applications, it is easy to simply agree with their values. Remember, your values should come from you! Take time to write out a short list of what you find important and from there, find schools that align with your list. 

Related : Jesuit colleges and universities: Are you a fit? 

Check out our other articles! Our website has plenty more articles just like this one that can help you write a top notch essay. Check out our guides on how to write a great supplemental essay , how to respond to the Common App prompts , how to write an essay about yourself , and how to write 250 or 500 word essays. And once you’re all done writing, we’ve still got you covered! Don’t miss our guides on 5 things to do after you submit your college application and how to choose a college . Good luck!

See also : Top 10 Catholic colleges

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Santa Clara University Admission Essay Writing Guide

Application Guide

Essay examples, santa clara university essays.

Santa Clara University is a Jesuit Catholic university located in the heart of Silicon Valley. It is one of the most selective universities in California and enrolls more than 5,000 undergraduates each year. Santa Clara students come from all over the world and represent a diverse range of faiths and backgrounds. The university offers more than 65 majors and 90 minors and provides a rigorous academic experience that prepares students for success in their chosen careers.

The Santa Clara University essay prompts are designed to help you reflect on your unique experiences, values, and perspectives. To write an effective piece, you will need to thoughtfully consider your life experiences and how they have shaped who you are today.

Application and Admission Process For Bachelor Students

For Students, the application process for Santa Clara University is competitive. You will need to submit an application, transcripts, test scores, and a personal essay to be considered for bachelor's admission. Not everyone will find writing as enjoyable as our team of experts do, so you may allow us to work on your essay if you want the best. Our site has several samples for inspiration, and our team of writers is always up to the task. Check our site and let us help you if you are stuck or too busy.

What the Committee Looks for in Santa Clara University Essays

The committee is looking for intellectually curious students and passionate about learning for university admissions. They also want students who are active citizens and responsible leaders in their communities. You should explain why you would be a good fit for Santa Clara University. It would be best if you also shared your academic and professional goals.

One of the most important things to keep in mind when writing your Santa Clara University essays is to be yourself. The admissions committee wants to get to know you, not just as a student. You also want to be open and honest.

When it comes to the admissions process, Santa Clara University looks for students who will contribute to and thrive in its unique community. The university places a strong emphasis on personal essays, which allow admission officers to get to know you as an individual.

How to Write the Essay For University Students

Now that you know what the committee is looking for, it's time to start writing. The first step is to brainstorm ideas. Think about your life experiences and how they have shaped who you are today. What are your passions and interests? What makes you unique?

Once you have a list of potential topics, it's time to start writing. Start by drafting a rough outline of your essay. Then, begin filling in the details. Be sure to edit and proofread your work before submitting it.

The Introduction of Your Essay

The introduction is the first impression you make on the admissions committee, so it's essential to make a solid first impression. It should be exciting and engaging, and it should introduce your topic. Don't forget to include your thesis statement. In the introduction, you will also set the tone for your essay.

The Body of Your Essay

The body should be where you flesh out your ideas and support your thesis statement. Each paragraph should have a main idea, and each principal idea should be supported by evidence. Be sure to include transitions between paragraphs to ensure that your essay flows smoothly. Also, the paragraphs of your essay should be well-organized and support your thesis statement.

The Conclusion of Your Essay

The conclusion is your opportunity to leave a lasting impression on the admissions committee. It should restate your main points and leave the reader with something to think about. Don't forget to thank the committee for their time. You may also include a call to action, asking the reader to consider your application.

For master's degree essay writing, follow the same basic principles, but provide more in-depth analysis and evidence to support your ideas.

Formatting Your Essay For College Admission

When formatting your essay, be sure to adhere to any general guidelines such as:

• Use 12-point Times New Roman font
• Double-space your essay
• Include a one-inch margin on all sides
• Indent each paragraph by 0.5 inches
• Use headings and subheadings to organize your essay
• Number your pages
• Title your essay

Tips for Writing the Best Santa Clara University Essay

Santa Clara essays are not easy to write because the expectations are high. The admissions committee will be looking for a well-written, well-researched essay free of errors. Here are some tips to help you write the best Santa Clara University essay possible:

• Start early: Don't wait until the last minute to start writing your essay. The earlier you start, the more time you'll have to revise and polish your work. You'll also be less likely to feel rushed and stressed if you start early.
• Do your research: Santa Clara University is looking for students who are a good fit for its community. Be sure to do your research and learn about the university before you start writing your essay. Creativity is of the essence.
• Be yourself: The admissions committee wants to get to know you as a person, so it's essential to be honest, and open in your essay.
• Edit and proofread: Be sure to edit and proofread your work before submitting it. You can have someone read your essay for you and make corrections.
• Follow the guidelines: Follow the essay guidelines closely. Formatting and grammar errors will reflect poorly on your application.

The best way to improve your writing is to practice. Please write a few essays and have someone else critique them for you. You'll be surprised at how much you can improve with just a little practice.

Personal Statement Essay

The best way to learn about a person is to ask them about themselves. So, please introduce yourself, e.g., I am an artist, a musician, and an athlete. I love to learn new things and try new experiences. I am also a bit of a nerd – I love reading and learning about new subjects. I am interested in many things, and I am passionate about the few things that I choose to focus on. Such is the perfect opening for a personal statement essay.

In this type of essay, you will be asked to write about yourself. It can be difficult because you will need to strike the right balance between providing enough information about yourself and maintaining some mystery. You will also need to be exciting and engaging so that the admissions committee wants to read your essay.

For Professor tips, the best way to approach this type of essay is to start with a brief introduction about yourself, followed by a few paragraphs in which you discuss your interests and passions. Be sure to provide examples and evidence to support your points. Finally, end with a brief conclusion in which you summarize your main points.

You can read several Santa Clara University essay examples online to get some ideas about what to write. Just remember to be original and honest in your essay, and you'll be sure to stand out from the rest of the applicants. Continue reading to get additional essay advice.

Santa Clara University Supplemental Essays

Santa Clara supplement essay allows you to include what you left in the application essay. It also gives you a chance to brag a bit. You can talk about your accomplishments, what you learned from your experiences, and how they have shaped you.

Be sure to focus on the positive aspects of your experiences and avoid talking about any negative experiences. Also, stay within the word limit – supplemental essays are shorter than the main essay, so you'll need to be concise. Santa Clara supplemental essays also allow you to discuss your academic interests and goals. You can talk about why you are interested in the particular major you are applying to and what you hope to achieve by studying at Santa Clara University.

Motivational Essay For Graduate School

A motivational essay is a personal statement that describes your goals and aspirations. It should be concise and to the point. You will need to discuss your motivation for applying to Santa Clara University and what you hope to achieve by studying there. Be sure to focus on your positive qualities and what makes you unique.

The best way to write a motivational essay for graduate school is to start with a brief introduction about yourself. Next, discuss your goals and aspirations. Be sure to provide examples and evidence to support your points. Finally, end with a brief conclusion in which you summarize your main points.

For Scholarships

If you are applying for scholarships, you will need to submit a separate essay. This essay should describe your academic interests and goals and why you are deserving of the scholarship. Be sure to focus on your positive qualities and what makes you unique. The same applies to internships.

There is no one formula that you can use for a college application essay. However, there are some key elements that all successful essays share. First and foremost, your essay must be personal. It should be about you and your experiences, not about someone else.

Your Santa Clara University essay should be a well-written, personal statement that gives the admissions committee a glimpse into your life and who you are as a person. Be sure to focus on your positive qualities and what makes you unique. With a bit of practice, you can write an essay that will make you stand out from the rest of the applicants. Additionally, you can seek the services of an admissions consultant to help you with your essay.

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FAQ about Santa Clara University

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, santa clara university essay examples.

Hi there! I'm applying to Santa Clara University and looking for some essay inspiration. Anyone here who wrote successful essays for SCU in the past? Or does anyone have tips/suggestions for crafting a compelling SCU essay?

Hello! It's great that you're looking for inspiration while working on your Santa Clara University essay. While I can't provide specific examples of successful essays, I can definitely offer some tips and suggestions to help you craft a compelling essay for SCU.

1. Understand the prompt: Before you start writing, make sure you have a clear understanding of the essay prompt and what it's asking for. Familiarize yourself with the school's mission, values, and culture. This will help you create a meaningful connection between your experiences and goals with what SCU has to offer.

2. Be authentic: Admissions officers can usually tell when a student is being genuine. Write about something that genuinely interests you or has had a significant impact on your life. This will allow your passion and enthusiasm to shine through, making your essay more engaging.

3. Show, don't tell: Use descriptive language and vivid details to paint a picture for the reader, drawing them into your story. This will help turn a simple statement of facts into a narrative that showcases your unique personality and experiences.

4. Avoid cliches: While it's tempting to use tried-and-true phrases or common themes (e.g. sports victories, immigrant backgrounds), try to approach your essay from an original angle to make it stand out among the rest.

5. Be concise: Make every word count, especially since personal essays tend to have limited word counts. Efficiently convey your thoughts by eliminating unnecessary words or phrases. This will also make your writing more powerful and easier to read.

6. Revise and edit: Don't be afraid to go through multiple drafts of your essay. Seek input from others like teachers, counselors, or friends, but make sure the final version remains true to your voice and perspective. Carefully proofread your essay to ensure it's free of grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, and other issues.

7. Tie it back to SCU: In your essay, make sure to mention why SCU is the right fit for you. You could discuss specific programs, resources, or opportunities that the university offers that align with your interests and goals.

For more information on these essays click here: https://blog.collegevine.com/how-to-write-the-santa-clara-university-essays/

By keeping these tips in mind and staying true to yourself, you'll be well on your way to crafting a compelling essay that captures the attention of the SCU admissions officers. Good luck with your application!

About CollegeVine’s Expert FAQ

CollegeVine’s Q&A seeks to offer informed perspectives on commonly asked admissions questions. Every answer is refined and validated by our team of admissions experts to ensure it resonates with trusted knowledge in the field.

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Santa Clara University Admission Essays

Personal reflections on studying at santa clara university.

In today’s society, the use of technology to solve problems while also remaining sustainable and ethical is increasingly important. After I graduate from Santa Clara University in four months, I will be working at EY in assurance services and working on audit engagements for a…

The Lessons I Learned from Working at a Swimming Pool

During the summer of 2007, I worked at a swimming pool, coaching the swim team, giving swim lessons, and lifeguarding. Early on, I realized that this summer job would demand more from me, and in turn give back a lot more, than I had initially…

Learning to Flourish: College Admission Essay Sample

“You’re ugly, and you have no friends.” We were settling in our seats for the annual career day assembly, and Eleni Pappas turned and spat the words out at me. I blushed while she laughed, pulling her hair off her lace-trimmed shirt (which, for the…

Finding My Niche: College Admission Essay Sample

We are live in five! Four! Three! Two! One! “Jean, you’re directing tomorrow.” I look at my teacher seriously, nodding. However, I was inwardly jumping with joy at the prospect of leading the whole broadcast. Let me start from the beginning. Back in sixth grade,…

Siblings and Strength: Growing Up with Autism

Most big brothers can dish out advice and guide their younger siblings. My big brother is different. I can’t remember the specific time that the transition occurred, but at some point Brandon went from being my big brother to an autistic sibling in a young…

Combining My Passions to Have a Positive Impact on People's Lives

Slowly walking down the stairs, wiping the sleep from my eyes, I head directly towards the kitchen. The cold metal mixing bowl meets my hand as I remove it from the cupboard. Struggling to make it to the counter with my hands full of ingredients,…

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• Instructions Followed To The Letter
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• Pathway Reflection Essay Instructions
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• Core Curriculum
• Integrations

As of December 2022, students no longer have to write a Pathway essay to complete their Undergraduate Core requirements at SCU. This update goes into effect immediately, including for those who petitioned to graduate in Fall 2022.

This change will not affect the courses you have taken or are planning to take, as the Pathway course requirement has not changed and is still in effect. For more information, read the full update .

Pathway Essay Assignment: Prompt, Criteria, and Submission Details

Purpose of the Pathway Essay

Integrative learning is a hallmark of twenty-first century education, a critical component of a Santa Clara University education, and a crucial skill for addressing real-world problems. The Pathway requirement encourages such integrative learning and engaged thinking since it provides students with the opportunity to consider how issues or problems related to a Pathway's theme are so complex that they need to be approached and understood from different disciplinary perspectives.  

In this essay, which is the culminating learning experience of your Pathway Core Curriculum requirement, you will demonstrate your ability to engage in multidisciplinary analysis by combining knowledge, theories, and/or methods from different disciplines in order to show how you have gained a deeper understanding about a specific issue or problem related to your Pathway’s theme.  

Essay Prompt

Identify an issue or problem connected to your Pathway’s theme and use multidisciplinary analysis to demonstrate a deeper understanding of it. 

In order to compose a successful essay, you will need to:

• Identify a specific, meaningful issue or problem connected to your Pathway’s theme.
• Analyze this issue applying theories, ideas, or methodologies from different disciplines within your Pathway courses to demonstrate your deeper understanding of that issue. 
• Write a carefully drafted 750- to 1000-word thesis-driven essay that uses coherent organization, effective transitions, and clear sentences.  

Identifying the Issue:   Identify a specific issue or problem connected to your Pathway and explain how the issue or problem relates to that particular Pathway’s theme. Be sure to identify your Pathway by name. (Note: the issue or problem you select can be one you explicitly studied in your Pathway courses or may be a connection between Pathway courses that became evident only after you completed your classes. This section should show readers that you have a clear understanding of your Pathway's theme and scope.)  

Analyzing the Issue : Analyze this issue or problem from a multidisciplinary perspective by integrating theories, ideas, and/or methodologies from at least 2 fields of study. For example, a student in the Sustainability Pathway might identify the availability of clean water as a problem. The writer might integrate theories, ideas, or methodologies from a Pathway course in engineering with those from a Pathway course in sociology to show how the problem of supplying clean water can be better understood or addressed by taking into account both fields of study. Be sure to identify the associated Pathway courses you are using within your analysis by name. A successful analysis will demonstrate how multiple disciplinary perspectives, whether they agree or differ, yield deeper insights about a specific issue or problem.

Writing the Essay : The goal is not to summarize your learning; rather, use specific examples of theories, ideas, or methods you studied in your Pathway courses in order to demonstrate how you have gained a deeper, more complex understanding of an issue or problem by considering that issue or problem through more than one field of study.

Criteria for Success

To pass, an essay must earn a “pass” on all sections of the rubric pertaining to the Pathway learning objectives and the standards for written communication. Use the 2021-22 Pathway Essay Evaluation Rubric   to plan your writing and to review your essay before submitting it. An exemplary pass will represent a substantial achievement and will showcase your ability to engage in multidisciplinary analysis. 

Important Information as You Prepare to Write

• Review and reflect on your Pathway’s description .
• Identify an issue or problem related to your Pathway’s theme that you will analyze in your essay. This issue or problem should be sufficiently complex so that it can be analyzed through a multidisciplinary perspective. 
• Reflect on the assignments and learning you completed within your Pathway courses, and analyze how those connected to your Pathway’s theme and to the issue or problem you will analyze. 
• From your Pathway courses, select at least two from different disciplines that will help you to develop your multidisciplinary analysis of the issue or problem you selected. The goal is to avoid summarizing these courses; rather, analyze how the different disciplines help you to better understand a complex issue or problem. Be sure to name the courses (department & title) from which you’re drawing information for your analysis. NOTE:  Students may refer to any classes in their Pathway for their reflection essay, even if those courses are not listed under the Pathways section of the degree audit.
• Consider your audience carefully. Imagine your reader is someone who values multidisciplinary thinking but is not an expert on your topic and may not be familiar with the particular Pathway, courses, issue, approaches in your analysis.  Pathway readers are, in fact, faculty members from a variety of departments across campus. 
• NOTE: No additional research is expected. Your analysis will draw upon the learning you have already done. If, in drawing upon your learning in Pathway courses, you quote or use ideas from other texts, you must provide proper citations (using APA, MLA, or CSE format) in keeping with Santa Clara University’s Academic Integrity Pledge.

Formatting and Submission Details

• Your essay should be a cohesive text with a clear thesis, and multiple paragraphs, but without separate sections/headers.
• Your essay must identify your Pathway by name in laying out the relevant issue or problem and the specific Pathway courses you are using within your analysis.
• You may use the first-person in your Pathway essay, since you are writing about your own analysis of your learning experiences.
• The essay can be either single- or double-spaced.
• Include a descriptive title and the submission date at the top of your essay. Any resubmissions should be identified as a “REVISION” and include the revised date.
• All words (e.g., the content of your essay, its title, any citations) count towards the 750- to 1000-word count (about 3 to 4 double-spaced pages).
• Submit your Pathway Reflection Essay through Camino. 
• Deadlines for submitting Pathway Reflection Essays are available on the Pathways Website.  You can submit your Pathway Reflection Essays prior to the deadline if you have completed at least 100 units and have no more than one pathway course still to take.  For more details see  https://www.scu.edu/ provost/core/integrations/ pathways/guidelines-and- timeline/
• Review the Essay Submission Checklist before submitting.

Additional assistance

For help planning, writing, and revising, visit the HUB writing center to consult with a writing partner. The HUB is open Sunday-Thursday, 4:00-10:00 p.m. in the lower level of the Learning Commons.

Santa Clara University Essay Examples That Worked

In today’s article, we will cover some of our Santa Clara University essay examples that worked. These were edited essays that we worked on with a client of ours to help them get accepted with lower than average scores. The following essay also helped them accepted with a $6,000 scholarship.

Here, we will cover both the Santa Clara University essay examples themselves as well as the writing techniques used to make them successful. You should consider implementing these into your own SCU essays. To give you a better picture, the Santa Clara University essay examples below belonged to a student who was applying for a computer science major. They had a decent GPA that was just slightly disadvantaged, but also not bad for the school’s standards. Although the applicant eventually attended Boston University, the Santa Clara University essay examples below demonstrate a good idea of just exactly the quality of writing you need to get accepted.

With that said, let’s cover the essays below.

Table of Contents

• Why was this essay strong?

Santa Clara University Essay Prompt 1

Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring to Santa Clara University and the objectives you hope to achieve.  (3500 characters) Santa Clara University Essays

Student Essay

Justice for children’s education is long overdue —especially because of how poorly our education system has failed them.  That many grade-schoolers sacrifice their mental well-being for a crumb of recognition has burned itself in my mind. I would certainly love to find the best method of making students smarter without sacrificing their mental health. So, for the past few years, I’ve reoriented my academic career to focus on creating a product that would revolutionize the education system for youths and do justice to its shortcomings. The reason I wanted to transfer to Santa Clara is that it is absolutely vital to my success as a developer of a future SaaS company: I want to create a software product that uses the power of machine learning and artificial intelligence to create self-correcting teachers that maximize student success whilst minimizing mental strain. At the end of the day, I am certain that if admitted I would attend Santa Clara University because of both its academic fit and club opportunities. Courses such as professor Yi Fang’s COEN 140: Machine Learning and Data Mining are critical elements to my startup’s success. Because the program I plan to develop in the future requires gathering large sums of data and using machine learning to better predict the behaviors and learning patterns of students, this course will be perfect for building the fundamentals of my startup’s program. If possible, I would also love to have the opportunity to one day TA and learn more under professor Yi Fang. His works, particularly User click prediction for personalized job recommendation and Tracking Climate Change Opinions from Twitter Data appear to be quite relevant and synonymous in nature to the work that I plan to conduct in the near future. To learn under him and further work along with him would be great for building the structure of my SaaS company in the coming years. Santa Clara’s clubs and the limitless networking opportunities it has made it an obvious choice. As an aspiring future SaaS developer, I was starved of networking opportunities with others who shared similar interests in computer science with entrepreneurship. My current institution’s population of computer scientists and entrepreneurs were less interested in developing or creating their own products than they were bee-lining for career opportunities working for others. However, clubs such as Santa Clara’s ACM club embrace a tight-knit culture and promote networking. A community that advocates for networking and collaborative efforts along with the startup culture of the school –including its proximity to the Silicon Valley– make it a breath of fresh air from my current institution and, more importantly, it serves as a great spot for me to find future co-founders and collaborators. I blueprinted my plan to develop my SaaS company to include the right institution that would spearhead my initiative the best. My current institution is not sufficient to help launch my career; however, Santa Clara would be the most fitting place to learn everything I need to launch my SaaS company and at last make a great difference in the world of education. For its academic fit and club networking opportunities, Santa Clara is the perfect launchpad for my startup; If I can entrust my future project to help the children of the future, then I know I would certainly attend if admitted as well. Santa Clara University Example Essay Worked 1

Why was this essay Strong?

Moral Virtues : One of the ways you can make your college essay stronger compared to the rest is by using moral virtues. Remember: most applicants apply to college because they can see a career path ahead of them. That is typically the extent of their desires. Tying in your moral virtues with your reasons for applying to a college will set you apart from the rest because it demonstrates a level of personal responsibility on a larger scale.

Let’s say you want to start a business that streamlines business operations in rural areas. This has both a career path ahead of it as well as a vision of revivifying rural areas. Thus, your application becomes more important than anyone else applying for the sole purpose of a career. Rejecting you would inexorably mean jeopardizing the moral virtues you’ve tied in with your career.

Clear Career Path : This is a rather important one. Many of our applicants have a vague or foggy career path. Although admissions officers often won’t hold it against you for being undecided about what you want to do, they may prefer students who already have a clear career path ahead of them. The student in this essay not only knew what major they wanted to take but also the project they wanted to conduct. They planned to create a SaaS company that will provide more value for students and the education industry.

They also knew exactly why the classes at BU would play a critical role in their career paths. This brings us to the next point.

Referring to School Resources : One of the things you’ll notice about both of our Santa Clara University example essays is that they define the school’s resources and their role in their career.

Think about this: imagine you can attend any school you wanted. Every school from Harvard, Yale, and Princeton will accept your application. Why would you still take Santa Clara University?

For some, this sounds preposterous. However, consider that schools like Harvard aren’t at the top of the percentile for engineering. A student taking Engineering may want to attend another school. When you are writing your Santa Clara University essays, there should be a clear reason why the school’s resources are better for actualizing your career path compared to every other school.

Santa Clara University Essay Prompt 2

Driven by the Jesuit values outlined in our mission statement, Santa Clara University promises to educate citizens and leaders of competence, conscience, and compassion. We strive to cultivate knowledge and faith to build a more humane, just, and sustainable world. Write about an experience from your life that embodies an aspect of our mission. (between 900 – 1800 characters) Santa Clara University Essays

A Pen.  It was the end of my Freshman year when I had seen this pen. The spring semester was coming to a close, so escaping the sun’s beating rays and entering the local Chase Bank and feeling the rush of complimentary air conditioner was a blessing. An assistant ushered me to one of the vacant glass door cubicles. I did. I sat down and stared at fake plants, card displays with fancy blue sheens, and a plaque written in gold lettering congratulating something. Later, a man walked in and exchanged “hello”s and “how are you”s. “I was thinking of starting a savings account.” “Great! Here’s a pen. Just sign here, here…” I felt the instrument’s weight, well, weigh on my palm. It was a jet black cylinder hiding an aristocratic gold tip as if to say, “I am the boss.” I started the savings account to save money for my future SaaS startup reimagining children’s education. I’ve dived into the world of code and business for long nights just to prepare myself for launching this company, and yet I was bewitched by the transcendent experience of holding the pen. This simple transition from chewed-on ballpoint pens to a fancy ‘executive class’ one felt unreal. A fancy pen: It’s all it took to make me feel close to my dream. “I’m doing this. Oh my goodness, I’m actually doing this!” That day was the closest I was to Santa Clara’s mission of the search for goodness for the world and society. Seeking educational justice by revitalizing it with the power of computer science: that was my plan, and Santa Clara’s mission to search for goodness resonated with me on that. However, I never expected it would be a simple stroke of a pen that made me most connected to this mission. Santa Clara University Example Essay that Worked 2

Creative Focus : This essay was different from the first University of Santa Clara example essay because it takes on a more creative approach. While the first essay took more practicality, this one uses a creative topic to explain the concept.

In the Santa Clara University example essay provided above, the applicant could have simply talked about how they had dreams for making a better learning environment for children. However, they chose a very particular instance that everyone could have related to: the “fresh start” feeling people get when they open a bank account.

The applicant here makes use of imagery and deep details to describe what it is like to have a “fresh new beginning”. The professionalism of the man in the suit, the glass door cubicles, and the fake plants and shining plaques of gold letters. These all bring a feeling of “conventional office” which also helps admissions officers relate to their first moment of getting a new bank account. It’s a feeling of overwhelming professionalism and “business-esque” atmosphere. The very weight of a fancy pen puts the icing on the cake that the applicant is truly beginning to start something big. They are not given a random ballpoint pen that teachers give their students, it’s a professional and sleek one. It signs into the paper not just her signature, but also her promise that her future SaaS career starts today.

Unconventional Sentence and Paragraph Structure : This basic rules applies to both of the Santa Clara University essay examples. In fact, you should be incorporating this practice into all your college essays. The rule is this: use unconventional sentence and paragraph structure.

That doesn’t mean you need to make your essays weird. You simply need to give your SCU essays a diverse paragraph and sentence structure. The reason why this works –and works in the example essay– is because it makes the essays easier to read. If you have similar sentences and paragraphs all with the same length and punctuation, the essay will drone on and on. Diversify your punctuation and sentence length, and diversify the paragraph length; this will add a unique structure to your SCU essays and help it stand out. Here’s an example of this idea.

Notice how this paragraph has similar sentence length and little to no difference in punctuation? The only noticeable difference in tone is the transition word “However” and the comma after it. This paragraph drones on and on. This will not help you stand out in the application process. Now, let’s take a look at this example.

In this example, we can see how the length of sentences differs. They transition from short to long. They also use different forms of punctuation such as commas and semicolons. By doing this in your essays, you will have a strong application essay for SCU, and you will stand out amongst the rest of the applicants.

Show Don’t Tell : This principle goes hand in hand with the first point. However, we’ll summarize the basic point: you want to make sure you reveal to the admissions officers what you are trying to convey rather than just tell them. It is one thing to tell the admissions officers that you felt the overwhelming cleanliness and professionalism of the bank made the opening business account feel that much more real. However, it is another to convey it with rich details which hint at the atmosphere. Here’s an example.

… escaping the sun’s beating rays and entering the local Chase Bank and feeling the rush of complimentary air conditioner was a blessing. An assistant ushered me to one of the vacant glass door cubicles. I did. I sat down and stared at fake plants, card displays with fancy blue sheens, and a plaque written in gold lettering congratulating something. I felt the instrument’s weight, well, weigh on my palm. It was a jet black cylinder hiding an aristocratic gold tip as if to say, “I am the boss.” Santa Clara University Example Essay 2

Notice the words the applicant chooses to use to describe the atmosphere. The feeling of oppressive heat is suddenly taken away when complimentary air conditioner fills the room. This is a feeling everyone can relate to, and it often is the feeling that brings a sense of “civilized” atmosphere opposed to the outside world.

The applicant then uses the description of the fake plants, blue sheen, and gold lettering to show the feeling of hyper-orderly professionalism that so characterizes the world of not just corporate life, but business life as a whole.

Then, the applicant goes on to describe the weight of the pen on her palm. They pair this with the gold tip that makes her feel like they were a boss. This combination of a weighty, expensive pen with the feeling of a gold aristocratic tip is something that hints to the admissions officers that the applicant has transcended the basic work stage. They has entered the world of corporate work, and with it comes the flashy yet responsibility-filled world of starting a SaaS company.

If you have any other questions about our Santa Clara University essay examples, or just want to get help on your SCU essays, you should consider speaking with an admissions expert. Consider scheduling a free consultation with our college essay experts. We will respond back to you within 24 hours.

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Supplemental Essay Guide 2024-25

What do the 2024-25 supplemental essay prompts really mean, and how should you approach them? CEA's experts are here to break them all down.

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supplemental essay prompt guide, frequently asked questions.

It really depends. Typically, the more competitive the university, the more arduous the supplemental essay requirements. Most top universities ask for at least three supplemental essays, but some only require one short essay.

The most common supplemental essay topics are:

• The Why Essay , which asks applicants to discuss their interest in their intended major and/or the school in question.
• The Activity Essay , which asks applicants to describe their involvement in an activity that is meaningful to them.
• The Community Essay , which asks about a community the applicant belongs to and the role that community plays in their life (and vice versa!).
• The Diversity Essay , which often asks applicants to explore how they champion diversity and inclusion in their communities and/or how they engage with people from different backgrounds or who hold opposing views. 
• The Short Answer , which asks applicants to answer prompts in very few words (or characters) to add context to their application and a splash of personality.
• The Oddball Essay , which asks applicants to tap into their creativity to connect curveball questions to their lives and interests.

Just like with the Common App personal statement, you’re going to want to write authentically about yourself while addressing all parts of each supplemental essay prompt. Many schools want to better understand how you see yourself contributing to their campus community and/or diversity and inclusion efforts along with how you hope to use your education to achieve your goals. So, be honest and forward-thinking, and don’t forget to customize each supplemental essay so it’s specific to each school you’re submitting to. That means doing research and weaving information into your essays that demonstrates the amount of time and thought you’ve put into your application. 

We have a few successful supplemental essay examples in our Free Resources section.

Each admissions department has their own process for reviewing applications, and some admissions committees put more weight on supplemental essays than others, but all admissions departments that offer applicants the opportunity to pen additional essays are doing so for a reason: to better understand the applicant and compare similarly qualified candidates. It’s in the applicant’s best interest to not only provide admissions with as much information regarding their candidacy as possible, but also go the extra mile. At highly competitive institutions, admissions officers are looking for reasons to remove students from the applicant pool—don’t let poorly written or (*gulp*) incomplete supplemental essays work against you!

Absolutely not. Please do not reuse content from your Common App essay in your supplements. Although it’s possible for you to expand upon an idea, activity, or community that you mention in your Common App essay in your supplements, you should never recycle content or any phrasing word for word.

Start by reading through all the prompts. Next, jot down ideas that come to your mind (no matter how silly they may seem!). Everyone has a story to tell, and we’re willing to bet you’re more interesting than you think. Give yourself plenty of time to consider different topics and revise, revise, revise! Also, our handy dandy Supplemental Essay Guides are sure to help you on your writing journey.

North Park University 2024-25 Supplemental Essay Prompt Guide

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Santa Clara University Undergraduate College Application Essays

These Santa Clara University college application essays were written by students accepted at Santa Clara University. All of our sample college essays include the question prompt and the year written. Please use these sample admission essays responsibly.

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College Application Essays accepted by Santa Clara University

The impact of my summer job anonymous, santa clara university.

During the summer of 2007, I worked at a swimming pool, coaching the swim team, giving swim lessons, and lifeguarding. Early on, I realized that this summer job would demand more from me, and in turn give back a lot more, than I had initially...

Being Brandon's Sister Anonymous

Most big brothers can dish out advice and guide their younger siblings. My big brother is different. I can’t remember the specific time that the transition occurred, but at some point Brandon went from being my big brother to an autistic sibling...

Spiderman Anonymous

The external reflections of my admiration are subtle. A red and blue toothbrush, its handle laced with white plastic webbing, stands among bottles of makeup remover by my sink. A boyish PVC and polyester wallet depicting an agile hero as he swings...

As I Am Michael William Bell

Most people are surprised to find out that I am dyslexic. Of course, most people don’t know. It’s not that I am ashamed of it, just that I don’t like to tell people about my problems. It is hard to hide, however, when a teacher asks me to read...

Sandy's Lesson Michael William Bell

There is a special bond that forms between a dog and its owner. Sandy and I were no exception. That was why I wasn't really surprised when my mom told me the news. In a way, I already knew.

My family got Sandy when I was six, so she was a part of...

Feel the Music Anonymous

The piano is predictable. If I hit the right key, it will play the same note every time, and if I play a song correctly, there will always be harmony. Life is unpredictable and always changing; thus, the piano is a logical safe haven. The piano is...

The Diversity of Thought Anonymous

To the outside world, my high school is the antithesis of diverse. When my peers considered me a legitimate minority for being a redhead, I assumed “diversity” to be a dirty word within the ivory-skinned social scene. However, I discovered that...

A Life-Changing Moment in the Denver Airport Anonymous

I was sitting with my teammates in the Denver airport after yet another trip to Boulder, Colorado for a running camp. The week had been successful, and most of my memories made on the trip were good ones. There were, however, exceptions. At one...

Learning to Flourish Anonymous

"You're ugly, and you have no friends."

We were settling in our seats for the annual career day assembly, and Eleni Pappas turned and spat the words out at me. I blushed while she laughed, pulling her hair off her lace-trimmed shirt (which, for...

Enthusiasm for Engineering Anonymous

While most kids are excited to learn how to tell time, I was captivated by what was in the background -- how a clock actually works. I found the tiny details of clock movements fascinating, and this preoccupation led me to a love of watches and...

Music Is My Passion Azja Lisette Alvarenga

There was a gleam and bright blue spark in my teacher’s eyes as she taught piano. The young student looked at her in excited amazement, a smile spreading across her face, like the smile of a mother seeing her newborn baby for the first time. This...

Artistic Abilities William Nelson Marcussen

I was jealous. Sally could draw a perfect circle and I couldn’t. She always created beautifully proportionate people while I sketched a blobby figure with one arm. I tried over and over, listened to instructions, but as hard as I tried I could...

A Sweet Experience Anonymous

Slowly walking down the stairs, wiping the sleep from my eyes, I head directly towards the kitchen. The cold metal mixing bowl meets my hand as I remove it from the cupboard. Struggling to make it to the counter with my hands full of ingredients,...

Finding My Niche Jean Chen

We are live in five! Four! Three! Two! One!

“Jean, you’re directing tomorrow.”

I look at my teacher seriously, nodding. However, I was inwardly jumping with joy at the prospect of leading the whole broadcast.

Let me start from the beginning. Back...

The Joy of Learning Isabella Chow

Home-schooled. For the longest time, I assumed that all children, like me, were homeschooled by their mothers. I attended Chinese school and art classes, but my mother delivered my first history lesson around our kitchen table––with an Odyssey...

Never Too Young for Economics Anonymous

The smell of delicious, warm, chocolatey cookies filled the car, and four pairs of hands rushed for the first of these decadent desserts. My family is usually not aggressive, but with cookies around, it’s each person for himself. This memorable...

68 Degrees Anonymous

I tried to distribute the weight of my body evenly in the soles of my Crocs. My hair was contained in a cap and my mouth was smothered by a cotton mask. Each time I exhaled, the mask filled with the smell of the coffee on my own breath. The...

The Real Victims of Gang Violence Anonymous

Unsure of how to cope with my own emotions and simultaneously continue to ask her questions, I handed Aliyah a box of tissues. She glanced up at me between sniffles and thanked me, expressing what may have been a disproportionate amount of...

Concise Documentation: A Deeper Look into American History Anonymous

A major problem we face today is our failure to chronicle the specifics of a given period, region, or ethnic group. Authentic history is derived not merely from authority figures, but from individuals. The contemporary historical narrative—the...

The Split Anonymous

"Next month, we will decide whether or not to ratify our church's newest bylaw: banning gay people from being members. This is to protect ourselves from being sued if a same-sex couple asks to get married in our church." As I sat in the same pew I...

Simply Bakery Anonymous

I was ten when I saw a documentary on Haiti for the first time. There was one scene where a few refugees brawled, vigorously attacking each other. The reporter then revealed what they were fighting for: a moldy pile of bread.

For a piece of bread,...

The cultural migration of my identity I Ting Hsieh

“Can’t you make it 40? I come here every day!” my grandma smirked at the vendor’s defeated face. She looked at me with a victorious smile as she claimed her trophy from the vendor. The vibrant color of the freshest produce, the unforgettable aroma...

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12 Great University of California Essay Examples

What’s covered, essay #1: leadership, essay #2: creativity, essay #3: creativity, essay #4: creativity, essay #5: talent, essay #6: talent, essay #7: academic interest, essay #8: academic interest, essay #9: community, essay #10: community, essay #11: community, essay #12: community.

The University of California system is comprised of nine undergraduate universities, and is one of the most prestigious public school systems in the country. The UC schools have their own application system, and students must respond to four of eight personal insight questions in 350 words each. Every UC school you apply to receives the same application and essays, so it’s important that your responses accurately represent your personality and writing abilities. 

In this post, we’ll share some UC essay examples and go over what they did well and where they could improve. We will also point you to free resources you can use to improve your college essays. 

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Read our guide to the UC personal insight questions for more tips on writing strong essays for each of the prompts.

Prompt: Describe an example of your leadership experience in which you have positively influenced others, helped resolve disputes, or contributed to group efforts over time. (350 words)

1400 lines of code. 6 weeks. 1 Pizza.

I believe pizza makers are the backbone of society. Without pizza, life as we know it would cease to exist. From a toddler’s birthday party to President Obama’s sporadic campaigning cravings, these 8 slices of pure goodness cleverly seep into every one of our lives; yet, we never talk about it. In a very cheesy way, I find representation in a pizza maker. 

The most perplexing section of physiology is deciphering electrocardiograms. According to our teacher, this was when most students hit their annual trough. We had textbooks and worksheets, but viewing printed rhythms and attempting to recognize them in real-time is about as straining as watching someone eat pizza crust-first. Furthermore, online simulators were vastly over-engineered, featuring complex interfaces foreign to high-school students.

Eventually, I realized the only way to pull myself out of the sauce was by creating my own tools. This was also the first year I took a programming course, so I decided to initiate a little hobbyist experiment by extrapolating knowledge from Computer Science and Physiology to code and share my own Electrocardiogram Simulator. To enhance my program, I went beyond the textbook and classroom by learning directly from Java API – the programmer’s Bible.

The algorithms I wrote not only simulated rhythms in real-time but also actively engaged with the user, allowing my classmates and I to obtain a comprehensive understanding of the curriculum. Little did I know that a small project born out of desperation would eventually become a tool adopted by my teacher to serve hundreds of students in the future.

Like pizza, people will reap the benefits of my app over and over again, and hardly anyone will know its maker. Being a leader doesn’t always mean standing at the front of rallies, giving speeches, and leading organizations. Yes, I have done all three, but this app taught me leaders are also found behind-the-scenes, solving problems in unimaginable ways and fulfilling the hidden, yet crucial niches of the world. 

1400 lines of code, and 6 weeks later, it’s time to order a pizza. 

What the Essay Did Well

This is a great essay because it is both engaging and informative. What exactly does it inform us about? The answer: the personality, work ethic, and achievements of this student (exactly what admissions officers want to hear about).

With regards to personality, the pizza through-line—which notably starts the essay, ends the essay, and carries us through the essay—speaks volumes about this student. They are admittedly “cheesy,” but they appear unabashedly themself. They own their goofiness. That being said, the student’s pizza connections are also fitting and smoothly advance their points—watching someone eat pizza crust-first is straining and pizza is an invention that hardly anyone can identify the maker of. 

While we learn about this student’s fun personality in this essay, we also learn about their work ethic. A student who takes the initiative to solve a problem that no one asked them to solve is the kind of student an admissions officer wants to admit. The phrase “I decided to initiate a little hobbyist experiment” alone tells us that this student is a curious go-getter.

Lastly, this student tells us about their achievements in the last two paragraphs. Not only did they take the initiative to create this program, but it was also successful. On top of that, it’s notable how this student’s accomplishments as a leader defy the traditional expectations people have for leaders. The student’s ability to demonstrate their untraditional leadership path is an achievement in itself that sets the student apart form other applicants.

What Could Be Improved

This is a strong essay as is, but the one way this student could take it above and beyond would be to tell less and show more. To really highlight the student’s writing ability, the essay should  show the reader all the details it’s currently telling us. For example, these sentences primarily tell the reader what happened: “The most perplexing section of physiology is deciphering electrocardiograms. According to our teacher, this was when most students hit their annual trough.” 

Rewriting this sentence to show the reader the student’s impetus for creating their app could look like this: “When my teacher flashed the electrocardiogram on the screen, my once attentive physiology class became a sea of blank stares and furrowed brows.” This sentence still conveys the key details—student’s in the physiology class found electrocardiograms to be the hardest unit of the year—but it does so in a far more descriptive way. Implementing this exercise of rewriting sentences to show what happened throughout the piece would elevate the entire essay.

Prompt: Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side. (350 words)

For the past few years, participating in debate has been one of the foremost expressions of my creativity. Nothing is as electrifying as an Asian parliamentary-style debate. Each team is given only thirty minutes to prepare seven-minute speeches to either support or oppose the assigned motion. Given the immense time pressure, this is where my creativity shines most brightly.

To craft the most impactful and convincing argument, I have to consider the context of the motion, different stakeholders, the goals we want to achieve, the mechanisms to reach those goals, and so much more. I have to frame these arguments effectively and paint a compelling and cohesive world to sway my listeners to my side on both an emotional and logical level. For example, In a debate about the implementation of rice importation in the Philippines, I had to frequently switch between the macro perspective by discussing the broad economic implications of the policy and the micro perspective by painting a picture of the struggles that local rice farmers would experience when forcefully thrust into an increasingly competitive global economy. It’s a tough balancing act.

To add to the challenge, there is an opposing team on the other side of the room hell-bent on disproving everything I say. They generate equally plausible sounding arguments, and my mission is to react on the spot to dispel their viewpoints and build up our team’s case.

When two debate teams, both well-prepared and hungry for victory, face off and try to out-think one another, they clash to form a sixty-minute thunderstorm raining down fierce arguments and rebuttals. They fill up a room with unbelievable energy. After several years of debate, I have developed the capacity to still a room of fury and chaos with nothing but my words and wit.

Debate has been instrumental in shaping me into the person I am today. Because of debate, I have become a quicker and stronger thinker. Lightning quick on my feet, I am ready to thoroughly and passionately defend my beliefs at a moment’s notice.

This prompt is about creativity, though its wording emphasizes how students aren’t required to talk about typically-creative subjects. That said, it might take a bit more work and explanation (even creativity, one could say) to position a logical process as creative. This student’s main strength is the way they convince the reader that debate is creative.

First, they identify how “Asian parliamentary-style debate” differs from other forms of debate, emphasizing how time constraints necessitate the use of creativity. Then, they explain how both the argument’s content (the goals and solutions they outline) and the argument’s composition (the way they frame the argument) must be creatively orchestrated to be convincing. 

To drive home the point that debate is a creative process, this student provides an example of how they structured their argument about rice importation in the Philippines. This essay is successful because, after reading it, an admissions officer has no doubt that this student can combine logic and creativity to think intellectually.

One aspect of this essay that could be improved is the language use. Although there are some creative metaphors like the “sixty-minute thunderstorm raining down fierce arguments”, the essay is lacking the extra oomph and wow-factor that carefully chosen diction provides. In the second paragraph, the student repeats the phrase “I have to” three different times when stronger, more active verbs could have been used.

Essays should always reflect the student’s natural voice and shouldn’t sound like every word came straight out of a thesaurus, but that doesn’t mean they can’t incorporate a bit of colorful language. If this student took the time to go through their essay and ask themself if an overused word could be replaced with a more exciting one, it would make the essay much more interesting to read.

As I open the door to the Makerspace, I am greeted by a sea of cubicle-like machines and I watch eagerly, as one of them completes the final layer of my print.

Much like any scientific experiment, my countless failures in the Makerspace – hours spent designing a print, only to have it disintegrate – were my greatest teachers. I learned, the hard way, what types of shapes and patterns a 3D printer would play nice to. Then, drawing inspiration from the engineering method, I developed a system for myself – start with a solid foundation and add complexity with each iteration – a flourish here, a flying buttress there. 

But it wasn’t until the following summer, vacationing on a beach inundated with plastic, that the “aha” moment struck. In an era where capturing people’s attention in a split-second is everything, what better way to draw awareness to the plastic problem than with quirky 3D-printed products? By the time I had returned home, I had a business case on my hands and a desire to make my impact.

Equipped with vital skills from the advanced math-and-science courses I had taken in sophomore year, I began applying these to my growing business. Using my AP Chemistry analytical laboratory skills, I devised a simple water bath experiment to test the biodegradability claims of 3D-printer filaments from different manufacturers, guaranteeing that my products could serve as both a statement and play their part for our planet. The optimization techniques I had learned in AP Calculus were put to good use, as I determined the most space-efficient packaging for my products, reducing my dependence on unsustainable filler material. Even my designs were tweaked and riffed on to reflect my newfound maturity and keen eye for aesthetics.

My business is still going strong today, raising $1000 to date. I attribute this success to a fateful spark of creative inspiration, which has, and will, continue to inspire me to weave together multiple disciplines to address issues as endemic as the plastic problem. 

This essay begins with a simple, yet highly effective hook. It catches readers’ attention by only giving a hint about the essay’s main topic, and being a standalone paragraph makes it all the more intriguing. 

The next paragraph then begins with a seamless transition that ties back to the Makerspace. The essay goes on to show the writer’s creative side and how it has developed over time. Rather than directly stating “I am most creative when I am working on my business,” the writer tells the story of their creativity while working with 3-D printers and vacationing on the beach. 

It is the “aha” moment that perhaps responds to the prompt best. Here we get to see the writer create a new idea on the spot. The next two paragraphs then show the writer executing on their idea in great detail. Small and specific details, such as applying analytical laboratory skills from AP Chemistry, make the writer’s creativity come to life. 

From start to finish, this essay shows that the key to writing a stellar response to this prompt is to fill your writing with details and vivid imagery. 

The second to last paragraph of this essay focuses a bit too much on how the writer built their business. Though many of these details show the writer’s creativity in action, a few of them could be restated to make the connection to creativity clearer. The last sentences could be rewritten like so: 

Working on my business was where my creativity blossomed. In my workshop, optimization techniques that I learned in AP Calculus became something new — the basis for space-efficient packaging for my products that reduced my dependence on unsustainable filler material…

Profusely sweating after trying on what felt like a thousand different outfits, I collapsed on the floor in exasperation. The heaping pile of clothes on my bed stared me down in disdain; with ten minutes left to spare before the first day of seventh grade, I let go of my screaming thoughts and settled on the very first outfit I tried on: my favorite.

Donning a neon pink dress, that moment marked the first time I chose expression over fear. Being one of the few Asians in my grade, clothing was my source of disguise. I looked to the bold Stacy London of What Not to Wear for daily inspiration, but, in actuality, I dressed to conceal my uniqueness so I wouldn’t be noticed for my race. Wearing jeans and a t-shirt, I envied the popular girls who hiked their shorts up just a few inches higher than dress code allowed and flaunted Uggs decorated with plastic jewels, a statement that Stacy London would have viewed as heinous and my mother impractical. 

However, entering school that day and the days after, each compliment I received walking down the hallways slowly but surely broke down the armored shield. Morphing into an outlet to amplify my voice and creativity, dressing up soon became what I looked forward to each morning. I was awarded best dressed the year after that during my middle school graduation, a recognition most would scoff at. But, to me, that flimsy paper certificate was a warm embrace telling me that I was valued for my originality and expression. I was valued for my differences. 

Confidence was what I found and is now an essential accessory to every outfit I wear. Taking inspiration from vintage, simplistic silhouettes and Asian styles, I adorn my body’s canvas with a variety of fabrics and vibrant colors, no longer depriving it of the freedom to self expression and cultural exploration. I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included, at the University of California with opportunities to intertwine creativity with my identity even further.

Colorful language and emotion are conveyed powerfully in this essay, which is one of its key strengths. We can see this in the first paragraph, where the writer communicates that they were feeling searing judgment by using a metaphor: “the heaping pile of clothes on my bed stared me down.” The writer weaves other rich phrases into the essay — for example, “my screaming thoughts” — to show readers their emotions. All of these writing choices are much more moving than plainly stating “I was nervous.”

The essay moves on to tell a story that responds to the prompt in a unique way. While typical responses will be about a very direct example of expressing creativity, e.g. oil painting, this essay has a fittingly creative take on the prompt. The story also allows the writer to avoid a common pitfall — talking more about the means of being creative rather than how those means allow you to express yourself. In other words, make sure to avoid talking about the act of oil painting so much that your essay loses focus on what painting means to you.

The last sentence of the essay is one more part to emulate. “I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included…” is a well-crafted, flawlessly succinct metaphor that looks to the future while connecting the end of the essay to its beginning. The metaphors are then juxtaposed with a summary of the essay’s main topic: “intertwine creativity with my identity.” 

This essay’s main areas for improvement are grammatical. What Not to Wear should be italicized, “self-expression” should be hyphenated, and the last sentence could use the following tweaks to make it less of a run-on: “I hope that my future will open new doors for me, closet doors included, at the University of California. There, I will have opportunities to intertwine creativity with my identity even further.”

Since identity is the main topic of this essay, it would also be fitting for the writer to go into more depth about it. The immediate takeaways from the essay are that the writer is Asian and interested in fashion — however, more descriptions could be added to these parts. For example, the writer could replace Asian with Laotian-American and change a sentence in the second to last paragraph to “dressing up in everything from bell bottom jeans to oversized flannel shirts soon became what I looked forward to each morning.”

Prompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (350 words)

Let’s fast-forward time. Strides were made toward racial equality. Healthcare is accessible to all; however, one issue remains. Our aquatic ecosystems are parched with dead coral from ocean acidification. Climate change has prevailed.

Rewind to the present day.

My activism skills are how I express my concerns for the environment. Whether I play on sandy beaches or rest under forest treetops, nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world. When my body is met by trash in the ocean or my nose is met by harmful pollutants, Earth’s pain becomes my own. 

Substituting coffee grinds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale. I often found performative activism to be ineffective when communicating climate concerns. My days of reposting awareness graphics on social media never filled the ambition I had left to put my activism skills to greater use. I decided to share my ecocentric worldview with a coalition of environmentalists and host a climate change rally outside my high school.

Meetings were scheduled where I informed students about the unseen impact they have on the oceans and local habitual communities. My fingers were cramped from all the constant typing and investigating of micro causes of the Pacific Waste Patch, creating reusable flyers, displaying steps people could take from home in reducing their carbon footprint. I aided my fellow environmentalists in translating these flyers into other languages, repeating this process hourly, for five days, up until rally day. 

It was 7:00 AM. The faces of 100 students were shouting, “The climate is changing, why can’t we?” I proudly walked on the dewy grass, grabbing the microphone, repeating those same words. The rally not only taught me efficient methods of communication but it echoed my environmental activism to the masses. The City of Corona would be the first of many cities to see my activism, as more rallies were planned for various parts of SoCal. My once unfulfilled ambition was fueled by my tangible activism, understanding that it takes more than one person to make an environmental impact.

One of the largest strengths of this response is its speed. From the very beginning, we are invited to “fast-forward” and “rewind” with the writer. Then, after we focus ourselves in the present, this writer keeps their quick pace with sentences like “Substituting coffee grounds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale.” A common essay-writing blunder is using a predictable structure that loses the attention of the reader, but this unique pacing keeps things interesting.

Another positive of this essay is how their passion for environmental activism shines through. The essay begins by describing the student’s connection to nature (“nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world”), moves into discussing the personal actions they have taken (“substituting coffee grounds as fertilizer”), and then explains the rally the student hosted. While the talent the student is writing about is their ability to inspire others to fight against climate change, establishing the personal affinity towards nature and individual steps they took demonstrate the development of their passion. This makes their talent appear much more significant and unique. 

This essay could be improved by being more specific about what this student’s talent is. There is no sentence that directly states what this student considers to be their talent. Although the essay is still successful at displaying the student’s personality, interests, and ambition, by not explicitly mentioning their talent, they leave it up to the reader’s interpretation.

Depending on how quickly they read the essay or how focused they are, there’s a possibility the reader will miss the key talent the student wanted to convey. Making sure to avoid spoon-feeding the answer to their audience, the student should include a short sentence that lays out what they view as their main talent.

At six, Mama reads me a story for the first time. I listen right up until Peter Pan talks about the stars in the night sky. “What’s the point of stars if they can’t be part of something?” Mama looks at me strangely before closing the book. “Sometimes, looking on is more helpful than actively taking part. Besides, stars listen- like you. You’re a good listener, aren’t you?” I nod. At eleven, my sister confides in me for the first time. She’s always been different, in a way even those ‘mind doctors’ could never understand. I don’t understand either, but I do know that I like my sister. She’s mean to me, but not like people are to her. She tells me how she sees the world, and chokes over her words in a struggle to speak. She trusts me, and that makes me happy. So, I listen. I don’t speak; this isn’t a story where I speak. At sixteen, I find myself involved with an organization that provides education to rural children. Dakshata is the first person I’ve tutored in Hindi. She’s also my favorite. So, when she interrupts me mid-lesson one evening, lips trembling and eyes filling with tears, I decide to put my pen down and listen. I don’t speak; I don’t take part in this story. Later, as I hug the girl, I tell her about the stars and how her mother is among their kind- unable to speak yet forever willing to listen. Dakshata now loves the stars as much as I do. At seventeen, I realize that the first thing that comes to my mind when someone asks me about a skill I possess is my ability to listen. Many don’t see it as a skill, and I wouldn’t ask them to either, but it’s important. When you listen, you see, you need not necessarily understand, but you do comprehend. You empathize on a near-cosmic level with the people around you and learn so much more than you ever thought possible. Everything is a part of something- even the stars with their ears.

The essay as a whole is an excellent example of narrative-based writing. The narrative begins with a captivating hook. The first sentence catches the reader by surprise, since it does not directly respond to the prompt by naming the writer’s greatest talent or skill. Instead, it tells a childhood story which does not seem to be related to a skill at first. This creates intrigue, and the second sentence adds to it by introducing a conflict. It causes readers to wonder why Peter Pan’s stargazing would make a six year old stop listening — hooked into the story, they continue reading.

The writer continues to create a moving narrative by using dialogue. Dialogue allows the writer to show rather than tell , which is a highly effective way to make an essay convey emotion and keep readers’ attention. The writer also shows their story by using language such as “mind doctors” instead of “psychologists” — this immerses readers in the author’s perspective as an 11 year old at the time. 

Two motifs, or recurring themes, tie the essay together: listening and looking at the stars. The last paragraph powerfully concludes the essay by explaining these themes and circling back to the introduction.

Crafting transitions is one area where this essay could be improved. The paragraph after “I nod” begins abruptly, and without any sentence to connect the writer’s dialogue at age six with her experiences at age 11. One way to make the transition smoother would be to begin the paragraph after “I nod” with “I try to be a good listener again at eleven, when my sister confides in me for the first time.”

This essay would also be more impactful if the writer explained what they aspire to do with their ability to listen in the future. While it is most important for your essay to explain how your past experiences have made you who you are in the present, looking towards the future allows admissions readers to imagine the impact you might make after graduation. The writer could do this in the last paragraph of their essay by writing the following: “Many don’t see it as a skill, and I wouldn’t ask them to either, but I find it important — especially as an aspiring social worker.”

Prompt: Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. (350 words)

I distinctly remember the smile on Perela’s face when she found out her mother would be nursed back to health. I first met Perela and her mother at the Lestonnac Free Clinic in San Bernardino where I volunteered as a Spanish translator. I was in awe of the deep understanding of biology that the medical team employed to discover solutions. Despite having no medical qualifications of my own, I realized that by exercising my abilities to communicate and empathize, I could serve as a source of comfort and encouragement for Perela and her mother. The opportunity to combine my scientific curiosity and passion for caring for people cultivated my interest in a career as a physician.

To further explore this interest, I attended a summer medical program at Georgetown University. I participated in lectures on circulation through the heart, practiced stitches on a chicken leg, and assisted in giving CPR to a dummy in the patient simulation laboratory. Every fact about the human body I learned brought with it ten new questions for me to research. I consistently stayed after each lecture to gain insight about how cells, tissues, and organs all work together to carry out immensely complicated functions. The next year, in my AP Biology class, I was further amazed with the interconnected biological systems as I learned about the relationships between the human body and ecosystems. I discussed with my teacher how environmental changes will impact human health and how we must broaden our perspectives to use medicine to tackle these issues.

By integrating environmental and medical science, we can develop effective solutions to reduce the adverse effects of environmental degradation that Perela’s mother may have faced unintentionally. I want to go into the medical field so I can employ a long-term approach to combat biology’s hidden anomalies with a holistic viewpoint. I look forward to utilizing my undergraduate classes and extracurriculars to prepare for medical school so I can fight for both health care and environmental protection.

This student primarily answers the prompt in their middle paragraph as they describe their experience at a summer medical program as well as their science coursework in high school. This content shows their academic curiosity and rigor, yet the best part of the essay isn’t the student’s response to the prompt. The best part of this essay is the way the student positions their interest in medicine as authentic and unique.

The student appears authentic when they admit that they haven’t always been interested in medical school. Many applicants have wanted to be doctors their whole life, but this student is different. They were just in a medical office to translate and help, then got hooked on the profession and took that interest to the next level by signing up for a summer program.

Additionally, this student positions themself as unique as they describe the specifics of their interest in medicine, emphasizing their concern with the ways medicine and the environment interact. This is also refreshing!

Of course, you should always answer the prompt, but it’s important to remember that you can make room within most prompts to say what you want and show off unique aspects of yourself—just as this student did.

One thing this student should be careful of is namedropping Georgetown for the sake of it. There is no problem in discussing a summer program they attended that furthered their interest in medicine, but there is a problem when the experience is used to build prestige. Admissions officers already know that this student attended a summer program at Georgetown because it’s on their application. The purpose of the essay is to show  why attending the program was a formative moment in their interest.

The essay gets at the  why a bit when it discusses staying after class to learn more about specific topics, but the student could have gone further in depth. Rather than explaining the things the student did during the program, like stitching chicken legs and practicing CPR, they should have continued the emotional reflection from the first paragraph by describing what they thought and felt when they got hands-on medical experience during the program. 

Save describing prestigious accomplishments for your extracurriculars and resume; your essay is meant to demonstrate what made you you.

I love spreadsheets.

It’s weird, I know. But there’s something endlessly fascinating about taking a bunch of raw numbers, whipping and whacking them into different shapes and forms with formulas and equations to reveal hidden truths about the universe. The way I like to think about it is that the universe has an innate burning desire to tell us its stories. The only issue is its inability to talk with us directly. Most human stories are written in simple words and letters, but the tales of the universe are encrypted in numbers and relationships, which require greater effort to decode to even achieve basic comprehension. After all, it took Newton countless experimentation to discover the love story between mass and gravitation.

In middle school, whenever I opened a spreadsheet, I felt like I was part of this big journey towards understanding the universe. It took me a couple of years, but I eventually found out that my interest had a name: Data Science. With this knowledge, I began to read extensively about the field and took online courses in my spare time. I found out that the spreadsheets I had been using was just the tip of the iceberg. As I gained more experience, I started using more powerful tools like R (a statistical programming language) which allowed me to use sophisticated methods like linear regressions and decision trees. It opened my eyes to new ways to understand reality and changed the way I approached the world.

The thing I love most about data science is its versatility. It doesn’t matter if the data at hand is about the airflow on an owl’s wing or the living conditions of communities most crippled by poverty. I am able to utilize data science to dissect and analyze issues in any field. Each new method of analysis yields different stories, with distinct actors, settings, and plots. I’m an avid reader of the stories of the universe, and one day I will help the world by letting the universe write its own narrative.

This is an essay that draws the reader in. The student’s candid nature and openness truly allows us to understand why they are fascinated with spreadsheets themself, which in turn makes the reader appreciate the meaning of this interest in the student’s life. 

First, the student engages readers with their conversational tone, beginning “I love spreadsheets. It’s weird, I know,” followed shortly after by the phrase “whipping and whacking.” Then, they introduce their idea to us, explaining how the universe is trying to tell us something through numbers and saying that Newton discovered “the love story between mass and gravitation,” and we find ourselves clearly following along. They put us right there with them, on their team, also trying to discover the secrets of the universe. It is this bond between the student and the reader that makes the essay so engaging and worth reading.

Because the essay is focused on the big picture, the reader gets a sense of the wide-eyed wonderment this student experiences when they handle and analyze data. The student takes us on the “big journey towards understanding the universe” through the lens of Data Science. Explaining both the tools the student has used, like R and statistical regression, and the ideas the student has explored, like owl’s wings and poverty, demonstrates how this student fits into the micro and macro levels of Data Science. The reader gets a complete picture of how this student could change the world through this essay—something admissions officers always want to see.

The biggest thing that would improve this essay is an anecdote. As it’s written, the essay looks at Data Science from a more theoretical or aspirational perspective. The student explains all that Data Science can enable, but besides for explaining that they started coding with spreadsheets and R, they provide very little personal experience working with Data Science. This is where an anecdote would elevate the essay.

Adding a story about the first data set they examined or an independent project they undertook as a hobby would have elicited more emotion and allowed for the student to showcase their accomplishments and way of thinking. For example, they could delve into the feeling of enlightenment that came from first discovering a pattern in the universe. Or maybe they could describe how analyzing data was the catalyst that led them to reach out to local businesses to help them improve their revenue. 

If you have an impactful and enduring interest, such as this student does, you will have at least one anecdote you could include in your essay. You’ll find that essays with anecdotes are able to work in more emotional reflection that make the essay more memorable and the student more likable.

Prompt: What have you done to make your community a better place? (350 words)

Blinking sweat from my eyes, I raised my chin up to the pullup bar one last time before dropping down, my muscles trembling. But despite my physical exhaustion at the end of the workout, mentally, I felt reinvigorated and stronger than ever.

Minutes later, I sat at my computer, chatting with my friends about our first week in quarantine. After listening to numerous stories concerning boredom and loneliness, it struck me that I could use my passion for fitness to help my friends—I jumped at the chance to do so. 

After scouring the internet for the most effective exercises and fitness techniques, I began hosting Zoom workouts, leading friends, family, and anyone else who wanted to join in several fun exercises each week. I hoped these meetings would uplift anyone struggling during quarantine, whether from loneliness, uncertainty, or loss of routine. I created weekly workout plans, integrating cardio, strength, and flexibility exercises into each. Using what I learned from skating, I incorporated off-ice training exercises into the plans and added stretching routines to each session. 

Although many members were worried that they wouldn’t be able to complete exercises as well as others and hesitated to turn their cameras on, I encouraged them to show themselves on screen, knowing we’d only support one another. After all, the “face-to-face” interactions we had while exercising were what distinguished our workouts from others online; and I hoped that they would lead us to grow closer as a community. 

As we progressed, I saw a new-found eagerness in members to show themselves on camera, enjoying the support of others. Seeing how far we had all come was immensely inspiring: I watched people who couldn’t make it through one circuit finish a whole workout and ask for more; instead of staying silent during meetings, they continually asked for tips and corrections.

Despite the limitations placed on our interactions by computer screens, we found comfort in our collective efforts, the camaraderie between us growing with every workout. For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times.

This essay accomplishes three main goals: it tells a story of how this student took initiative, it explores the student’s values, and it demonstrates their emotional maturity. We really get a sense of how this student improved their community while also gaining a large amount of insight into what type of person this student is.

With regards to initiative, this student writes about a need they saw in their community and the steps they took to satisfy that need. They describe the extensive thought that went into their decisions as they outline the planning of their classes and their unique decision to incorporate skating techniques in at-home workouts.

Additionally, they explore their values, including human connection. The importance of connection to this student is obvious throughout the essay as they write about their desire “to grow closer as a community.” It is particularly apparent with their final summarizing sentence: “For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times.”

Lastly, this student positions themself as thoughtful when they recognize the way that embarrassment can get in the way of forming community. They do this through the specific example of feeling embarrassment when turning on one’s camera during a video call—a commonly-felt feeling. This ability to recognize fear of embarrassment as an obstacle to camaraderie shows maturity on the part of this applicant. 

This essay already has really descriptive content, a strong story, and a complete answer to the prompt, however there is room for every essay to improve. In this case, the student could have worked more descriptive word choice and figurative language into their essay to make it more engaging and impressive. You want your college essay to showcase your writing abilities as best as possible, while still sounding like you.

One literary device that would have been useful in this essay is a conceit or an extended metaphor . Essays that utilize conceits tend to begin with a metaphor, allude to the metaphor during the body of the paragraph, and end by circling back to the original metaphor. All together, it makes for a cohesive essay that is easy to follow and gives the reader a satisfying opening and conclusion to the essay.

The idea at the heart of this essay—working out to strengthen a community—would make for a great conceit. By changing the anecdote at the beginning to maybe reflect the lack of strength the student felt when working out alone and sprinkling in words and phrases that allude to strength and exercise during the essay, the last sentence (“For me, it confirmed the strength we find in community and the importance of helping one another through tough times”) would feel like a fulfilling end to the conceit rather than just a clever metaphor thrown in. 

Prompt: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place? (350 words)

The scent of eucalyptus caressed my nose in a gentle breeze. Spring had arrived. Senior class activities were here. As a sophomore, I noticed a difference between athletic and academic seniors at my high school; one received recognition while the other received silence. I wanted to create an event celebrating students academically-committed to four-years, community colleges, trades schools, and military programs. This event was Academic Signing Day.

The leadership label, “Events Coordinator,” felt heavy on my introverted mind. I usually was setting up for rallies and spirit weeks, being overlooked around the exuberant nature of my peers. 

I knew a change of mind was needed; I designed flyers, painted posters, presented powerpoints, created student-led committees, and practiced countless hours for my introductory speech. Each committee would play a vital role on event day: one dedicated to refreshments, another to technology, and one for decorations. The fourth-month planning was a laborious joy, but I was still fearful of being in the spotlight. Being acknowledged by hundreds of people was new to me. 

The day was here. Parents filled the stands of the multi-purpose room. The atmosphere was tense; I could feel the angst building in my throat, worried about the impression I would leave. Applause followed each of the 400 students as they walked to their college table, indicating my time to speak. 

I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets; instead, smiles lit up the stands, realizing my voice shone through my actions. I was finally coming out of my shell. The floor was met by confetti as I was met by the sincerity of staff, students, and parents, solidifying the event for years to come. 

Academic students were no longer overshadowed. Their accomplishments were equally recognized to their athletic counterparts. The school culture of athletics over academics was no longer imbalanced. Now, everytime I smell eucalyptus, it is a friendly reminder that on Academic Signing Day, not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.

This is a good essay because it describes the contribution the student made to their community and the impact that experience had on shaping their personality. Admissions officers get to see what this student is capable of and how they have grown, which is important to demonstrate in your essays. Throughout the essay there is a nice balance between focusing on planning the event and the emotions it elicited from this student, which is summed up in the last sentence: “not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.”

With prompts like this one (which is essentially a Community Service Essay ) students sometimes take very small contributions to their community and stretch them—oftentimes in a very obvious way. Here, the reader can see the importance of Academic Signing Day to the community and the student, making it feel like a genuine and enjoyable experience for all involved. Including details like the four months of planning the student oversaw, the specific committees they delegated tasks to, and the hundreds of students and parents that attended highlights the skills this student possesses to plan and execute such a large event.

Another positive aspect of this essay is how the student’s emotions are intertwined throughout the essay. We see this student go from being a shy figure in the background to the confident architect of a celebrated community event, all due to their motivation to create Academic Signing Day. The student consistently shows throughout the essay, instead of telling us what happened. One example is when they convey their trepidation to public speaking in this sentence: “I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets.”

Employing detailed descriptions of feelings, emotions, fears, and body language all contribute to an essay that reveals so much in subtle ways. Without having to be explicitly told, the reader learns the student is ambitious, organized, a leader, and someone who deeply values academic recognition when they read this essay.

While this essay has many positives, there are a couple of things the student could work on. The first is to pay more attention to grammar. There was one obvious typo where the student wrote “the fourth-month planning was a laborious joy”, but there were also many sentences that felt clunky and disjointed. Each and every essay you submit should put your best foot forward and impress admissions officers with your writing ability, but typos immediately diminish your credibility as a writer and sincerity as an applicant.

It’s important to read through your essay multiple times and consider your specific word choice—does each word serve a purpose, could a sentence be rewritten to be less wordy, etc? However, it’s also important you have at least one other person edit your essay. Had this student given their essay to a fresh set of eyes they might have caught the typo and other areas in need of improvement.

Additionally, this student began and ended the essay with the smell of eucalyptus. Although this makes for an intriguing hook, it has absolutely nothing to do with the actual point of the essay. It’s great to start your essay with an evocative anecdote or figurative language, but it needs to relate to your topic. Rather than wasting words on eucalyptus, a much stronger hook could have been the student nervously walking up to the stage with clammy hands and a lump in their throat. Beginning the essay with a descriptive sentence that puts us directly into the story with the student would draw the reader in and get them excited about the topic at hand.

Prompt: What have you done to make your school or community a better place? (350 words) 

“I wish my parents understood.” Sitting at the lunch table, I listened as my friends aired out every detail of their life that they were too afraid to share with their parents. Sexuality, relationships, dreams; the options were limitless. While I enjoyed playing therapist every 7th period, a nagging sensation that perhaps their parents should understand manifested in me. Yet, my proposal was always met with rolling eyes; “I wish they understood” began every conversation, but nothing was being done beyond wishing on both sides. 

I wanted to help not just my friends but the countless other stories I was told of severed relationships and hidden secrets. Ultimately, my quest for change led me to BFB, a local nonprofit. Participating in their Youth Leadership program, I devised and implemented a plan for opening up the conversation between students and parents with the team I led. We successfully hosted relationship seminars with guest speakers specializing on a range of topics, from inclusive education to parental pressure, and were invited to speak for BFB at various external events with local government by the end of my junior year. Collaborating with mental health organizations and receiving over $1,000 in funding from international companies facilitated our message to spread throughout the community and eventually awarded us with an opportunity to tackle a research project studying mental health among teens during the pandemic with professors from the University at Buffalo and UC Los Angeles. 

While these endeavors collectively facilitated my team to win the competition, the most rewarding part of it all was receiving positive feedback from my community and close friends. “I wish my parents understood” morphed into “I’m glad they tried to understand”. I now lead a separate program under BFB inspired by my previous endeavors, advancing its message even further and leaving a legacy of change and initiative for future high schoolers in the program. As I leave for college, I hope to continue this work at the University of California and foster a diverse community that embraces understanding and growth across cultures and generations.

The essay begins with a strong, human-centered story that paints a picture of what the writer’s community looks like. The first sentence acts as a hook by leaving readers with questions — whose parents are being discussed, and what don’t they understand? With their curiosity now piqued, readers become intrigued enough to move on to the next sentences. The last sentence of the first paragraph and beginning of the second relate to the same topic of stories from friends, making for a highly effective transition.

The writer then does a great job of describing their community impact in specific detail, which is crucial for this prompt. Rather than using vague and overly generalized language, the writer highlights their role in BFB with strong action verbs like “devised” and “implemented.” They also communicate the full scope of their impact with quantifiable metrics like “$1,000 in funding,” all while maintaining a flowing narrative style.

The essay ends by circling back to the reason why the writer got involved in improving their community through BFB, which makes the essay more cohesive and moving. The last sentences connect their current experiences improving community with their future aspirations to do so, both in the wider world and at a UC school. This forward-looking part allows admissions officers to get a sense of what the writer might accomplish as a UC alum/alumna, and is certainly something to emulate.

This essay’s biggest weakness is its organization. Since the second paragraph contains lots of dense information about the writer’s role in BFB, it would benefit from a few sentences that tie it back to the narrative in the first paragraph. For instance, the third sentence of the paragraph could be changed like so: “Participating in their Youth Leadership program, I led my team through devising and implementing a plan to foster student-parent conversations — the ones that my 7th period friends were in need of.”

The last paragraph also has the potential to be reorganized. The sentence with the “I wish my parents understood” quote would be more powerful at the end of the paragraph rather than in the middle. With a short transition added to the beginning, the new conclusion would look like so: “ Through it all, I hope to help ‘I wish my parents understood’ morph into ‘I’m glad they tried to understand’ for my 7th period friends and many more.” 

I drop my toothbrush in the sink as I hear a scream. Rushing outside, I find my mom’s hand painfully wedged in the gap between our outward-opening veranda doors. I quickly open it, freeing her hand as she gasps in relief. 

As she ices her hand, I regard the door like I would a trivia question or math problem – getting to know the facts before I start working on a solution. I find that, surprisingly, there is not a single protrusion to open the door from the outside! 

Perhaps it was the fact that my mom couldn’t drive or that my dad worked long hours, but the crafts store was off-limits; I’ve always ended up having to get resourceful and creative with whatever materials happened to be on hand in order to complete my impromptu STEM projects or garage builds. Used plastic bottles of various shapes and sizes became buildings for a model of a futuristic city. Cylindrical capacitors from an old computer, a few inches in height, became scale-size storage tanks. 

Inspired by these inventive work-arounds and spurred on by my mom’s plight, I procure a Command Strip, a roll of tennis racket grip, and, of course, duct tape. I fashion a rudimentary but effective solution: a pull handle, ensuring she would never find herself stuck again.

A desire to instill others in my community with this same sense of resourcefulness led me to co-found “Repair Workshops” at my school – sessions where we teach students to fix broken objects rather than disposing of them. My hope is that participants will walk away with a renewed sense of purpose to identify problems faced by members of their community (whether that’s their neighbor next door or the planet as a whole) and apply their newfound engineering skills towards solutions.

As I look towards a degree and career in engineering and business, these connections will serve as my grounding point: my reminder that in disciplines growing increasingly quantitative, sometimes the best startup ideas or engineering solutions originate from a desire to to better the lives of people around me.

This essay is a good example of telling a story with an authentic voice. With its down-to-earth tone and short, punchy paragraphs, it stands out as a piece of writing that only the author could have written. That is an effective way for you to write any of your college essays as well.

After readers are hooked by the mention of screaming in the first sentence, the writer immerses the readers in their thinking. This makes the essay flow very naturally — rather than a first paragraph of narrative followed by an unrelated description of STEM projects, the whole essay is a cohesive story that shows how the writer came to improve their community. 

Their take on community also makes the essay stand out. While many responses to this prompt will focus on an amorphous, big-picture concept of community, such as school or humanity, this essay is about a community that the writer has a close connection to — their family. Family is also not the large group of people that most applicants would first attach to the word “community,” but writing about it here is a creative take on the prompt. Though explaining community impact is most important, choosing the most unique community you are a part of is a great way to make your essay stand out.

This essay’s main weakness is that the paragraph about Repair Workshops does not go into enough detail about community impact. The writer should highlight more specific examples of leadership here, since it would allow them to demonstrate how they hope to impact many more communities besides their family. 

After the sentence ending with “fix broken objects rather than disposing of them,” a new part could be added that shows how the writer taught students. For example, the writer could tell the story of how “tin cans became compost bins” as they explained the importance of making the world a better place. 

Then, at the end of the paragraph, the writer could more concretely explain the visions they have to expand the impact of Repair Workshops. A good concluding sentence could start with “I too hope to use engineering skills and resourcefulness to…” Adding this extra context would also make the paragraph transition better to the final paragraph of the essay, which somewhat abruptly begins by mentioning the writer’s previously unmentioned career interests in engineering and business.

Where to Get Feedback on Your UC Essays

Want feedback like this on your University of California essays before you submit? We offer expert essay review by advisors who have helped students get into their dream schools. You can book a review with an expert to receive notes on your topic, grammar, and essay structure to make your essay stand out to admissions officers. In fact, Alexander Oddo , an essay expert on CollegeVine, provided commentary on several of the essays in this post.

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