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Three questions to ask yourself before quitting your PhD

It’s normal for PhD candidates to consider abandoning their studies. Here’s how to take emotions out of the decision.

Gemma Conroy

Credit: Jacobs Stock Photography/Getty

28 July 2020

Jacobs Stock Photography/Getty

Amid lab shutdowns and cancelled fieldwork, many PhD students are facing tough choices regarding the future of their research career.

Roughly 45% of PhD students expect to disengage with their studies within the next six months due to financial hardship related to the pandemic, according to a new survey of 1,020 doctoral candidates in Australia.

While walking away without a doctorate will be the right choice for some – and perhaps the only choice for those with inadequate financial support - it’s important to ask the right questions before making a decision.

“Students need to separate the fake and real reasons for leaving,” says Shane Huntington, deputy director of strategy and partnerships at the University of Melbourne’s Faculty of Medicine, Dentistry, and Health Sciences in Australia.

“Some of the most common reasons students quit have nothing to do with their ability to do a PhD.”

Below are three questions that can help a candidate decide whether to quit or continue with their doctoral studies.

1. Are your problems solvable?

Kate Kenfield

Shane Huntington

A disengaged supervisor, toxic lab culture, or a string of failed experiments might feel like reason enough to quit your PhD, but these are not insurmountable problems.

Huntington suggests switching labs if poor supervision or an overly competitive environment are causing you distress.

“I try to get students to determine whether their reasons for wanting to quit are really about them, and not just due to systemic problems. My advice is to map out what the problems are and explore how they can be solved.”

Struggling with specific tasks, such as writing, isn’t a sign to start drafting a withdrawal letter, says Inger Mewburn, director of research training at the Australian National University in Canberra.

“This is a fixable problem,” says Mewburn, who edits a popular blog called The Thesis Whisperer .

“But if you just aren’t enjoying what you’re doing each day, then those feelings need to be critically examined.”

2. Have you talked to someone about it?

It can be difficult for students to admit that they’re struggling, but reaching out to supervisors and other lab members can offer some much-needed perspective, says Frey Fyfe.

“There is a lot of pressure to only convey the positive,” says Fyfe, who quit their PhD in volcanology at the University of Oxford in the United Kingdom in 2018, and has not returned to academia.

“I wish I had spoken to someone in my research group, as pretty much every PhD student wants to quit at some point.”

Huntington recalls that a quick chat with his PhD supervisor saved him from quitting his own PhD in physics in the late 1990s. The discussion led to weekly meetings where other lab members could help him find solutions to his experimental problems.

“My supervisor told me that most students want to quit at least three times, which sort of gave me permission to feel the way I did,” says Huntington.

He says the weekly meeting helped him feel supported. “We were able to work through the low points.”

Fyfe says that viewing a supervisor as a fellow collaborator, rather than someone to win approval from, can make it easier to communicate more openly.

“It’s not a one-way street,” says Fyfe. “You need to be able to communicate what’s going right and what isn’t.”

3. Does your PhD fit with your long-term goals?

Inger Mewburn

Embarking on a PhD is a major career milestone for many students, but it’s important to consider how it will further your aspirations in the long-run, says Mewburn.

For example, if a candidate wants to end up in a research-focussed job that doesn’t involve teaching, gaining experience from an industry placement could be a more strategic investment than spending years on a PhD.

It’s also important for candidates to make a realistic assessment of the job prospects in their field, particularly in the wake of pandemic-related hiring freezes and job losses .

“You’ve got to explore your options,” says Mewburn. “Is there even going to be a job in your field when you finish your PhD?”

A common mistake students make when deciding whether to quit or continue is focussing on the sacrifices they have made, instead of considering where they want to head next.

“People often think of the past, rather than the future. There’s a lot of guilt about what they’re giving up [if they quit],” says Huntington. “But it’s a myth, because you are not giving up on all the hard work, you’re just taking it in a different direction.”

Whether choosing to quit or stay, it ultimately comes down to feeling confident about your underlying reasons, says Huntington.

“Students should have some power over their destiny. Make the right decision on the right basis, and feel good about the choice you’ve made.”

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Thinking about quitting your PhD? Maybe that’s the right decision

Sometimes not completing a PhD is the rational choice, and having open conversations around it helps stop people feeling isolated and uncertain, says Katherine Firth

Katherine Firth

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We know that 30 to 50 per cent of PhD candidates don’t complete globally. Countries such as the UK and Australia, where about a quarter of students don’t finish their PhD, actually congratulate themselves on their efficient completions. While my day job involves trying to help more people finish on time, I also know that choosing to stop can sometimes be the right decision.

People quit their PhDs for a variety of reasons, including to pursue job opportunities, to focus on external life priorities or simply because they lose interest. Over the past two years, there have been even more disruptions than usual: researchers haven’t been able to travel or do fieldwork; they have had to give up in-person conferences and avoid busy labs and libraries; they got sick or the pandemic exacerbated existing health conditions; or their priorities changed.

Supervisors, candidates and universities need to be more open to having conversations about quitting PhDs. Why do candidates choose to quit, how many people do so and what happens to them afterwards? It’s almost impossible to get detailed, accurate data about completion rates. When people quit they leave the university, so we often don’t see what they do next. If we don’t talk openly about stopping, people who are considering it feel isolated and uncertain. But it isn’t rare, and supervisors are in a privileged position to recognise the signs early – and then, as appropriate, support their candidates as they successfully navigate away from the PhD.    

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Academics don’t always like to acknowledge it, but your health, family, career and community are more important than any scholarly accolade. People generally think about quitting their PhDs for reasons including family responsibilities, mental health or their financial situation. Or they choose to leave because other opportunities come up. These can be rational, practical choices with sensible long-term outcomes.

After all, graduating with a doctorate is not the only pathway towards contributing to knowledge, discovering new information or being recognised as an expert. That incomplete doctorate might be suitable for a patent or to spin out into an industry application. Perhaps it makes sense to publish your findings in an academic article – or a public-facing book. Similarly, the skills that candidates have already developed in pursuing their research might be an asset in their job beyond academia.

It’s important for candidates to know that not finishing a PhD doesn’t make you a failure, and it doesn’t mean you’ll never have the opportunity to do a research degree in the future. Sometimes, now is not the right time or you’re not in the right field. You wouldn’t be the first person to return to academia after a decade in industry, or when your circumstances changed, or when your research project was safe to pursue again. The past two years have been particularly challenging for researchers who had to totally change their planned research projects. When it is just not possible to pursue the PhD you signed up for, it can be a valid decision to do something else instead.

However, I wouldn’t want to suggest that the only two options are gritting your teeth or leaving. Universities increasingly have opportunities for flexibility or support, which candidates should explore. Some adjustments are quite common if you ask around. It’s often possible to press pause on your candidature, take a leave of absence or change to part-time study. Work with the equity team or researcher development team to improve accessibility or get support. It might also be helpful to negotiate changes in the supervision team – realigning it to better support your methods, specialisation or preferences.

There are more drastic options, too. It’s possible to convert your PhD to a master’s by research. Candidates might even explore taking their project to another faculty, another university or another country where it fits better. Leaving your current situation might mean losing out on your funding or burning bridges or hurting feelings. It tends to require a lot of extra time, effort and work. It’s an extreme option, but if you’re already thinking about leaving, you are already considering radical action.

I recently wrote a book with Liam Connell and Peta Freestone, Your PhD Survival Guide , based on Thesis Boot Camp , our award-winning programme for helping get people over the thesis finish line. In our experience working with thousands of doctoral candidates around the world, non-judgemental conversations about quitting help people feel freed from having to pretend that everything is fine.

Supervisors, peers and mentors can also help identify what changes are possible to make or support candidates to weigh up their options and make a considered decision about whether to carry on or put down the doctorate, for now or for good, and pursue other priorities. PhD researchers are smart, resilient, persistent problem-solvers, and they contribute in so many ways to our world, whether or not they gain the title “doctor”.

Katherine Firth is lecturer in research education and development at La Trobe University in Melbourne, Australia, and a founding member of the Thesis Boot Camp team. Her most recent book on doctoral success is Your PhD Survival Guide: Planning, Writing and Succeeding in your Final Year with Liam Connell and Peta Freestone.

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When should you quit your PhD? Advice for students

Deciding whether you should finish your PhD or leave academia altogether is a very tough decision to make. It shouldn’t be taken lightly, and many PhD students want to quit their PhD at many points throughout the process. I know that I wanted to quit my PhD in the second year but I’m pleased that I stuck it out.

Quitting your PhD may make sense if you have a complete breakdown of your supervisor relationship, you are working with a poorly designed project, mental health issues are getting in the way, or you simply do not want to continue in academia after your first year.

The constant presence of failure and criticism throughout a PhD can make PhD candidates feel like they will never be smart enough and can cause feelings of being an imposter.

This article will go through everything you need to know about when you should quit your PhD and help you make one of the toughest decisions that any PhD can make.

It is important to note that people who quit are not failures.

There is a narrative in academia that can cause people to feel really anxious about quitting. However, failing to quit when it is the best decision for you is much more of a failing.

I talk about this more in my YouTube video below.

Read more to find out the insider secrets to quitting your PhD.

When should a PhD student quit?

There is no one size fits all answer to when a PhD student should quit.

However, there are some general guidelines that may be helpful in deciding whether or not to quit a PhD program.

If you are facing significant personal or health problems that are impacting your ability to complete your studies, it may be time to consider quitting.

Additionally, if a student feels they are not making progress and are not enjoying the program, it may be time to reassess their goals and consider whether or not continuing with the PhD is the right decision.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to quit a PhD program should be made after careful consideration of all factors involved.

But you are not alone in this decision!

Here are some other people who have quit their PhD and are talking about on YouTube that you may find interesting to watch:

Here are some important aspects that you can consider if you are considering giving up your PhD.

After your first year

Before you decide to quit your PhD, you should at least see if it isn’t poor for you. Spend at least six months in your doctorate before asking yourself whether academia is the right career choice for you.

Having tried a PhD and realising that it is not for you is certainly not a failure.

The first year will show you pretty much all of the important aspects of having a career in academia. Therefore, you can base your decision on how much you have really enjoyed your first year and whether or not it is something that you want to continue for another two – five years.

Breakdown of the supervisor relationship

Your PhD will be heavily dictated by your academic supervisor.

It’s important that you maintain a healthy supervisor relationship. However, sometimes that is easier said than done.

If your PhD supervisor relationship has completely broken down and is toxic, I would recommend looking for an alternative supervisor or leaving the project altogether and looking for other opportunities in academia and outside of academia elsewhere.

I highly recommend that you have a co-supervisor during your PhD so that if one of the supervisor relationships breaks down you always have a backup.

The project is poorly designed

Sometimes the best plans can go badly.

It is worth quitting your PhD if you have got nowhere with your research after two years. Sometimes research does not reward you for hard work and it can be a very frustrating time.

Look at the progress of your research and focus on stuff that is working. Ultimately, at the end of your PhD you are expected to write up a dissertation or a number of peer-reviewed papers to show that you have contributed enough novel work to be admitted into your doctorate.

If you are unable to satisfy this, you will simply fail to obtain your PhD.

A good project is one that is relatively flexible and can pivot to other areas if one section of the plan is not working.

Mental health issues

Mental health issues are also another reason why you should consider quitting your PhD or, at least putting it on hold.

Your PhD is only as good as your mental health. You will be the one responsible for pushing the project forward when things are going badly and this takes a fair amount of resilience and persistence.

Resilience and persistence are at their best when your mental health is too.

Financial issues

Many people want to quit their PhD due to financial stress.

Earning a student stipend for multiple years can be a very stressful and miserable time for those who have got expenses and debts. Some people get a job alongside their PhD but this is not realistic for most.

Quitting your PhD in saving up money in a job may help you return to academia with a financial safety net that can make your PhD much less stressful.

The best way to quit your PhD

There is no one best way to quit your PhD as every situation is unique, and you will need to find an approach that works best for you.

However, there are some general tips that may be helpful.

First, it is important to have a clear plan and reason for leaving your PhD program. This will make it easier to stay focused and motivated as you go through the process of quitting.

Second, try to give yourself plenty of time to make the transition. This includes both mentally and emotionally preparing for the change, as well as taking care of any practical details like finding a new place to live or transferring your health insurance and all of the boring admin stuff that may occur.

Finally, be sure to reach out for support from family and friends during this time. Quitting a PhD can be a difficult and stressful experience but having a strong support network can make it much easier.

Here are some steps you can take to ease the transition.

Take some time off – Pause your studies

Sometimes, the best thing you can do is to take a break.

Step away from your research and give yourself some time to relax. You may be able to give yourself up to a year off from your research. I have spoken with PhD students have done this and they are able to re-enter their PhD with much more focus and motivation.

Try to come back to your research with fresh eyes and a clear mind.

Leave your PhD amicably

If you decide to leave your PhD program, it is important to do so amicably.

This means that you should try to maintain a good relationship with your advisor and committee members. You should also let them know about your decision as soon as possible. A committee member may be able to help you find a new advisor.

Finally, it is also a good idea to write a letter of resignation. This will help you to state your intentions in a professional manner and it will also give your supervisor time to adjust or find a replacement PhD student for the project.

A letter of resignation can be an extremely difficult thing to write. However, it is important that you take the time to write one so that your supervisor and the University know that you are leaving.

What are your next career plans?

Before leaving your PhD you need to ask yourself what is next for your career.

What excites you? What job would you be excited to turn up to every day?

Most people will need to find work as soon as they leave their PhD in order to live comfortably. Think about what you’d like to do and your plans for after you quit.

This will help you consider whether or not quitting is the right decision for you and help ease the transition as you will be excited for your next adventure.

Wrapping up

If you decide to quit a PhD it can be a very daunting experience and many people wonder if they will regret it.

There are many people that quit a PhD for a variety of reasons. Ensuring that you are comfortable with your decision and that you’re excited about the next stage in your life will help ease the transition.

You can also take eight couple of months off to settle on your decision without the pressures of academia muddying your thoughts.

For many people a PhD is not the right choice and quitting is the best decision they can make. Good luck with your decision!

Dr Andrew Stapleton has a Masters and PhD in Chemistry from the UK and Australia. He has many years of research experience and has worked as a Postdoctoral Fellow and Associate at a number of Universities. Although having secured funding for his own research, he left academia to help others with his YouTube channel all about the inner workings of academia and how to make it work for you.

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How To Tell Your Advisor You’re Quitting Your Ph.D. Program.

by Gertrude Nonterah PhD | May 16, 2023

“How do I communicate to my advisor that I want to quit my Ph.D. program?”

Someone asked me this question on YouTube and I had to think long and hard about it before responding.

I’m a champion for Ph.D. students and I often want people to finish their Ph.D.s. This is true especially if they are an under-represented minority like me.

But I also realize that a Ph.D. is not the right path for everyone. And it goes without saying that there are lots of successful people who don’t have a Ph.D. Some don’t have a university degree at all.

In any case, telling your advisor you’re quitting your Ph.D. program is a difficult conversation no matter how you slice it. It’s common to feel guilty about letting your advisor down. You might experience guilt for letting down the people who have invested in you in various ways. However, it is important to remember that this is YOUR life and you need to do what’s best for you. Even if it means leaving academia.

Watch the video below as I answer this question.

Quitting your Ph.D. might feel like a nerve-racking decision for you. But thinking through your future career goals, and if a Ph.D. fits in that future can help you come to a satisfactory conclusion.

If you’re thinking of quitting your Ph.D. program, take a step back to reflect. Reflect on what you truly want for your life. Consider your goals and whether a Ph.D. aligns with those future plans. If you have the opportunity, take some time away from the Ph.D. program to see how that feels. Write down your thoughts and reasons. The pros and cons.

Writing down your thoughts and feelings before the conversation will help you to stay organized and on track. When you do have the conversation, use those thoughts you’ve written down as your guideposts when you finally discuss it with your advisor. Be prepared for your advisor to be disappointed. But don’t be guilted into staying if you have done your evaluations and realized a Ph.D. is just not the path for you.

Join 2000+ PhDs and academics who receive my weekly newsletter full of career development tips designed for academics & receive 34 non-academic career ideas. Click here to join: theboldphd.com/careerslist

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Kshitij Tiwari Ph.D.

Knowing when to quit PhD: Signs to look for and what to do next

Not many know of the harsh realities of the PhD program when they first start out and many struggle to be fully convinced that PhD is indeed the right career choice for them.

So, somewhere along the journey they start feeling stuck with no real progress being made and start questioning whether or not to continue . It is at this time, they need to make the tough call and often they lack the know how to be able to decide how to proceed thereon.

In this article, we will look into the signs that indicate it’s time to quit your PhD program, what to do after quitting, and alternative career paths to consider. We’ll also discuss managing finances and prioritizing mental health during this difficult time, as well as the importance of a healthy relationship with your PhD supervisor.

Finally, we’ll explore how a change in personal goals can affect your decision to leave the program and provide resources for those considering leaving their PhD program. Contrary to the other blogs that touch base on this topic, we will also look into how you can resume your PhD journey after a brief hiatus if you decide so instead of quitting.

Table of Contents

Signs it’s time to quit PhD

Making the decision to quit PhD

Next steps after quitting phd, alternative career routes after quitting phd, resume your phd journey, key takeaways, signs it's time to quit phd.

There are some tell tale signs that you can look out for to know if it’s time to quit your PhD.

Lack of Passion

Your passion for your research should be what drives you to continue your PhD. If you find yourself lacking excitement or interest in your work, it may be time to re-evaluate your goals and consider quitting.

Emotional and mental health issues

The stress of a PhD program can take a toll on your mental health. If you find yourself constantly anxious, overwhelmed, or depressed, it may be a sign that the program is not worth sacrificing your health.

Financial Hardship

PhD programs can be expensive and do not always offer enough funding or job opportunities to support your lifestyle. If you are struggling financially and cannot see a way out, it may be time to consider other options.

Lack of Support

A strong support system is crucial during a PhD program. If you feel isolated or unsupported by your colleagues or mentor, it can make the program even more challenging.

If you recognize any of these signs, it may be time to take a step back and evaluate your options. It’s important to remember that quitting your PhD program does not mean you have failed. Here are some steps to take next:

Speak with a trusted mentor or advisor to discuss your options.

Consider taking some time off to re-evaluate your goals and explore other interests.

Look into alternative career paths or programs that align with your interests and values.

Connect with a therapist or mental health professional for support during this transition.

Poor relationship with supervisor or lab members

If you’re experiencing conflicts with your supervisor or lab members, it can create a toxic work environment that affects your ability to perform. This can be especially challenging in a PhD program that is often heavily reliant on the relationship with your supervisor. If attempts to resolve conflicts have been unsuccessful, it may be time to consider moving on to a different program or workplace. Remember that your well-being should be a priority and it’s okay to make changes that support that.

Change in personal goals or circumstances

As we grow and change, our goals and circumstances can shift. If you find yourself no longer interested in pursuing a career in academia or if personal circumstances make continuing the program difficult, it’s important to consider whether the PhD is still the best path for you. Keep in mind that it’s never too late to make a change and pursue a different career path that aligns better with your current goals and needs. Remember to seek support and guidance from trusted advisors and professionals as you make these decisions.

The decision to quit your PhD is a difficult one, but it’s important to be honest with yourself about your needs and goals. Remember that quitting does not mean failure, and it’s never too late to make a change. Here are some steps to help you make this decision

Weighing the pros and cons

When making the decision to quit your PhD program, it’s important to weigh the pros and cons. Some pros of continuing may include a strong passion for your research, a supportive advisor, and opportunities for career advancement. However, some cons may include financial strain, mental and emotional exhaustion, and a lack of interest in your work.

Reflecting on your goals and values

Reflect on your goals and values and how they align with your current situation. Are you still passionate about your research? Is the PhD program aligning with your personal values and goals? Reflecting on these questions can help provide clarity when making the decision to continue or quit the program.

Seeking advice and support

Speak with trusted mentors, advisors, and professionals to discuss your options and gather information. It’s important to seek advice and support from people who understand the demands of a PhD program and can help you make an informed decision.

Trusting your intuition

Ultimately, the decision to quit your PhD should come from a place of intuition and self-awareness. Trust your instincts and listen to your body and mind. If you feel that continuing the program will have a negative impact on your well-being and happiness, it may be time to consider other options.

Remember that quitting your PhD program does not mean you have failed. It takes courage to acknowledge when something is not working and make a change. Trust yourself and do what is best for you and your future.

If you have decided to quit your PhD program, it’s important to have a plan for what comes next. Here are some steps to consider:

Take time for self-care

Leaving a PhD program can be a major life change that can have an emotional impact. It’s important to take time to reflect, process your feelings, and engage in self-care activities that help you feel grounded and supported.

Re-evaluate your career goals

Reflect on your interests and career goals and explore alternative career paths that align with your passions and values. Consider taking courses or workshops to develop new skills and broaden your options.

Network and build new connections

Connect with professionals in your field of interest and attend industry events to expand your network and gain insight into new career opportunities. Building new connections can help you find new opportunities and grow your professional circle.

Seek support and guidance

It’s important to connect with a mentor, advisor, or therapist who can offer support and guidance as you navigate this transition. They can help you overcome any obstacles or self-doubt you may have and provide valuable insights and resources.

Consider further education or training

If you are interested in pursuing a different academic path, consider further education or training in a new field. This can open up new opportunities and help you gain new skills and knowledge.

Embrace the change and stay positive

Leaving a PhD program can be challenging, but it’s important to embrace the change and stay positive. Remember that this decision is an opportunity for growth and new experiences. Focus on the positives of your decision and stay open to new opportunities that come your way. With time and persistence, you can forge a new path that aligns with your passions and goals.

If you decide to leave your PhD program, there are many alternative career routes to consider. Here are a few options to explore:

Consider exploring career opportunities in industry that relate to your research interests. Industry jobs can offer more stability and a faster career trajectory than academia.

If you enjoy teaching, consider pursuing a career as a high school or community college teacher. You can also consider teaching positions in non-academic settings, such as museums or community centers.

Entrepreneurship

Starting your own business or consulting firm can be a rewarding career path that allows you to apply your research skills in new ways. Be prepared to invest time and energy into building your business.

Non-profit work

Non-profit organizations offer a variety of career opportunities that align with your values and interests. Consider working for a non-profit in a role that utilizes your research skills or knowledge.

Government work

Working for the government can provide stable employment and opportunities to make a difference in your field of interest. Consider working in a government agency related to your research area or in science policy.

Freelancing

Freelancing or consulting can offer flexibility and the opportunity to work on a range of projects related to your research or interests. Be prepared for the challenges of self-employment and building a client base.

Remember that there are many alternative career paths to consider after leaving your PhD program. Take time to explore your interests and goals, and seek advice and support from trusted professionals as you navigate this transition.

Consider your options carefully and make a decision that aligns with your values and goals. Remember that it’s okay to change your mind and pursue a different path. Take time for self-care, re-evaluate your career goals, network and build connections, seek support and guidance, consider further education, and stay positive.

As opposed to quitting, if you give it a second thought and decide to resume with your PhD, here are some steps to help you through it and your approach from the past. Don’t worry if you’re feeling unsure; this is a normal phase for many.

Reconnect with your advisor and lab members

It’s important to reconnect with your advisor and lab members after a hiatus. Schedule a meeting with your advisor to discuss your plans moving forward and any necessary steps to re-integrate into the program.

Review and update your research plan

Take time to review and update your research plan to ensure that it aligns with your current goals and interests. Consider any changes that may have occurred during your hiatus and discuss any necessary adjustments with your advisor.

Re-establish your routine

Returning to a PhD program may require adjusting your routine to ensure that you have enough time and energy to dedicate to your research and coursework. Make a schedule that works for you and stick to it. Create a plan for managing your time, including scheduling regular breaks and self-care activities.

Connect with your peers

Connecting with your peers can help you stay motivated and engaged in your program. Attend department events, join a study group, or participate in student clubs to meet new people and build relationships.

Seek additional support and resources

If you are struggling to get back into the swing of things, consider seeking additional support and resources. This may include working with a tutor, attending office hours, or accessing mental health services.

Keep your long-term goals in mind

Remember your long-term goals and why you started your PhD in the first place. Keeping your goals in mind can help you stay motivated and focused as you resume your PhD journey. Celebrate your successes and milestones along the way and don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed.

Whether you decide to quit your PhD program or continue on, the most important thing is to be true to yourself and your values. Take the time to reflect and seek advice and support from trusted mentors, advisors, and professionals. Remember that there are always options and opportunities to pursue your passions and goals. Whatever you choose – to quit or to resume your PhD after a brief hiatus , trust yourself and take pride in the journey ahead.

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Why You Should Quit Your PhD

Dr Shane T Huntington OAM

A long time ago, I had a very serious discussion with my PhD supervisor. I was depressed, I felt inadequate to the task of completing my PhD and I really just wanted out.

Actually, that’s not entirely true. I wanted the PhD but I could no longer see the path to finishing it. So, I spoke the words that no supervisor wants to hear: “I’m thinking of quitting”.

His response really surprised me. He looked at me with a smile and said, “That’s great — 1 out of 3 is out of the way.” I had no idea what he was talking about. He explained that in his experience, a student will seriously consider leaving their PhD at least 3 times. This was my first time and we just needed to work through it.

I still felt like shit. However, when I think back to this moment I realise he gave me something very important. He normalised the idea of quitting for me and made me feel a tad less alone than I had before. I felt more supported.

I still wanted to quit.

The expectations suck

A PhD can feel like a jail term. You cannot just up and leave part way through your sentence. But why the hell not? What if a PhD is not for you? What if the vision for your future they sold you is not what you really desire? Why is a PhD treated so differently to other jobs?

I believe a big part of this is that your entire education has been building to this point — it’s been a rather straight line. One piece comes after another and if you want to be a professional in your field then this is the next step on the path. If you quit your PhD then the entire journey would come crashing down. What on earth would you do? The singular goal would be lost. Your chance of getting a job would be sweet FA.

Of course this is a line of bullshit that we have all been fed to keep us in our PhDs. In reality, by the time you have reached this level, you will have gained an enormous range of skills that are applicable to many different industries. Therefore, the idea that it has all been wasted if you quit, just does not hold water. If you have reached the level of PhD student you are already in the top few percent performance wise so will likely be highly adaptive to new types of work. The only real waste is the project work that you will have started in your PhD, but if you are going to change fields then why would you care?

Keep in mind that PhD students are the engine room for universities and research institutions. The drive to keep you in the house will be very strong. You are free and very skilled labour. If you finish there is an added cash incentive for institutions. It’s a win win for the institutions if you complete. To be fair, it costs an institution a lot of money for you to have the facilities to do your PhD, so completing on time allows them to get some of that expense back. It’s odd that most institutions ignore the mental health of PhD students given how much is at stake .

Unfortunately as a society we don’t match our training numbers with what the workforce actually needs — so in essence a few people quitting wouldn’t be a bad thing. You would be doing your colleagues a favour if you quit, as they would have less job competition when they finish.

Have I convinced you to quit yet?

Well let’s talk about what science is all about. That should do the trick.

Apologies if you are in another field, but it’s not difficult to draw parallels. When you enter a PhD you are told about the interesting areas you will get to explore. You will be told how you will push the boundaries of human knowledge and how fun and interesting this will be. You will get to publish, discover new things, travel the world……and the list goes on. Sounds bloody great. But hang on, did anyone actually tell you about how science actually progresses most of the time? I’m guessing not or you would not be reading this article.

In many ways, science is about failing . Unless you are doing incremental work, which in itself can be boring and only mildly useful, the majority of science involves failing a lot. If it was easy it would all have been done by now. If it was easy you would not be getting a PhD for doing the work. So if you are the sort of person who does not like to fail — and lets be honest, what kind of idiot actually likes to fail — then perhaps a PhD is not for you.

I think there are numerous reasons why you might be thinking about quitting. You might be in that rut where nothing new is coming out of your work — the classic scenario where your effort/reward ratio is seriously out of whack. You might be finding that your work is unfulfilling and you are struggling to find meaning. In reality, this is probably reasonable because early in your career the chances of your work being impactful are rather low. You might feel like an imposter (that’s another article I need to write!).

Perhaps you have an unsupportive supervisor. This can take many shapes and sizes. Some supervisors push too hard. Some not hard enough. Some try to clone themselves disregarding that different people work and are motivated in different ways. Some are just A-holes in general, and some lack the field expertise and innovative thought to provide inspirational projects to students. A supervisor can make or break a student regardless of the standard of the student. If you have one of these supervisors then you should give solid thought to getting the hell out of Dodge.

Before you quit…

I would like to propose that a PhD is not that much different to other jobs. It’s something that, if you cast off the centuries of cultural heritage from universities, should be seen as something to try and walk away from if it is not right. A PhD should never come at the cost of your mental health. Institutions almost never have systems in place to monitor and address the health of PhD students.

If at this point you have already decided you are definitely going to quit then don’t read on. If on the other hand you have not quite steeled yourself to withdraw, then here are a few words to help you endure what is still ahead of you.

Firstly, I suggest that you reset in your mind about what science is really about. A real scientist is not someone who wins every day in their work. It is someone who has the ability to notice something different when it comes along and recognise that difference for its potential. Sometimes we can wait 12 months or longer for this one day to occur. We need to be ready to grab hold of it when it happens. That’s what science is about, it’s not about success every single day and the best stuff is not about incrementalism. It’s easy to lose sight of this distinction especially in a system where innovative and risky thought is discouraged by funding agencies. Science is as much about eliminating the things that don’t work, as it is finding the ones that do. That’s not failure, that’s progress.

There will be times when it feels like certain things just won’t ever move forward. This is what discussions with your supervisor are for. They have more experience and given the opportunity, they should always be able to suggest a course of action. Sometimes that action will be to abandon the approach and move onto something else. These decisions should feel like a partnership between the supervisor and student. If they don’t then the supervisor is not doing their job.

The relationships you have in your PhD are very important. I encourage people to develop three types. The first is the supervisor relationship. This person is not your mentor . A mentor must have no personal gain involved in your work if they are to give you advice. The supervisor by contrast is there to guide your research journey and provide some career input. They need to know how you work best, how you like to get feedback, what sort of work you enjoy, what your weaknesses are. The more you give them the better they can help you navigate the difficult research path. Of course, you need to know the answers to these questions as well.

The second type of relationship that must be cultivated is the connection with others within your research group — especially those doing PhDs and postdocs who have recently completed. These are your support people and generally will all have experienced difficulties themselves. If they have not, they will at some stage, and the more open you are about the challenges the more these people can provide support. However, be clear about the sort of support you need.

I recall the group meetings we had when I was a student. We rarely talked about successes. We mainly talked about problems we were having and the group would rally to help solve them for the individual. It felt incredibly supportive and it prevented things from festering.

The third support group you will need is people from outside your discipline, even potentially outside your institution, but still doing PhDs themselves. People who can understand the challenges but are not necessarily within the political bubble of your lab.

Ultimately though a PhD can feel like a lonely enterprise. So what else can you do? For a start, it is important to keep a list of all the compliments you have received over the course of your time in the job. Whether written or oral, it can be very valuable to have these together in one place so you can reflect on them when feeling beaten. It doesn’t matter where they came from or how you keep them. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that you are certainly capable even if the work is challenging. Don’t associate failure in the work with your failure — some research paths will simply not work.

No matter where you are in your PhD you will have made some progress. It’s important to remind yourself of where you were and what you knew 3 months ago, 6 months ago, a year ago. We all progress but we forget to give ourselves credit for that when things get tough. Typically, I find that people are closer to the end than the beginning, but the end seems far away.

What we don’t get taught prior to a PhD is that we need to learn to be exceptional project and time managers. A 3 to 4 year project is immense and it takes a lot of detailed planning. Most PhDs don’t have this and they certainly don’t have contingency plans when things don’t work out. Open discussion about these issues with supervisors and peers is necessary for all projects to be successful.

Most important though is maintenance of your health during a PhD. On occasion, this will take a team of GPs, psychologists, friends and family . Take prevention and treatment seriously. Compromised health reduces your ability to think effectively and you will see everything about your PhD progress through dark clouds. Always remember that the cost of a PhD must never be your health. Institutions will rarely have health support programs in place specifically for PhD students so you will need to address this yourself.

So before you quit, be sure to strip away the institutional attitude and pressures around quitting so you can make an informed and personal decision. A successful PhD depends on health, training, commitment, good supervision and supporting infrastructure. If any of these are lacking, the entire endeavour is unnecessarily harder.

Do not quit for these reasons:

1. Your experiments aren’t working

2. Your supervisor is an arsehole

3. Your supervisor is incompetent

4. You are finding the work too hard

5. You feel like an imposter

6. You don’t have the tools you need

7. You feel alone in your work

8. Everyone around you is having wins and you are not

9. You had some negative feedback

10. You are struggling to write

11. You have no publications

Consider quitting for these reasons:

1. You are trading your mental health to remain in the program (health must come first!)

2. You have learned what research is about and you no longer find it interesting or right for you

3. The longer you stay, the more you look towards other more interesting career paths

So please go ahead and quit your PhD, but make sure you are doing so for the right reasons so you can live with your decision 10 years from now. Don’t let others take this from you — you have worked too hard to get this far. If you leave, it needs to be a positive move, not a retreat.

Written by Dr Shane T Huntington OAM

Speaker, Workshop Facilitator, Communications and Strategy Consultant. @DrShaneRRR ShaneHuntington.com

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It’s OK to quit your PhD

• 26 Comments

Occasionally I’m asked about quitting, particularly “quitting” a PhD program. This happened several times last week, when I was in Vancouver.

Contrary to what you may hear or what your own internal critics tell you, there’s no shame in moving on. I remember a long post on a Versatile PhD forum from “PJ,” an ABD thinking about leaving instead of spending another two years (minimum) to finish their PhD. In response, one commenter wrote, “But the real question is, do you want to be a quitter? Now, not everyone will view that question the same, and I’m sure many will say that equating quitting a PhD program to being a quitter is not valid, but in reality, it is.” No! Thankfully, most other commenters on the thread offered more nuanced and helpful reflections and advice. “Finishing is not just about the destination,” one former tenure-track professor pointed out. “If that’s the only thing you want, then it’s a tough few years ahead.” Indeed.

Before you make the decision to leave, separate your inner critic – who may well be reflecting outer critics in your life – from what you know is right for you. Trust your gut, not your gremlin. In my experience, this is a decision that individuals make and re-make over time. I’ve worked with a few clients who’ve contemplated not finishing their PhD programs. While you figure out what you want, it’s ok to be ambivalent, carrying on the work but distancing yourself psychologically and emotionally from academia. What are your goals? Once you know them, you can determine the correct strategy to move toward them. (With thanks to Harvey P. Weingarten’s recent post .)

The “no one likes a quitter” attitude that exists in graduate school and perhaps in academia writ large isn’t warranted. There is nothing inherently good or bad about completing a PhD. It’s only a good move for you if it is a good move for you. While individuals who depart sans degree will come to their own personal conclusions about their decisions, the wide world rarely cares. It’s instructive that in PJ’s original post, they mentioned that their former undergraduate professors were unanimous in advising them to quit. I’ll let English professor (and graduate advisor) Leonard Cassuto speak for ideal advisors everywhere: “Most of my advisees finish their dissertations and get jobs. I’m proud of them. But some walk away – and of that group I’m just as proud” ( Graduate School Mess , p. 121). I feel the same way about my own clients, whatever path they choose to take.

A while back Christine Slocum reflected on her career journey in a Transition Q & A post . She’d completed an MA and then two years of a PhD program, then moved on before achieving ABD status. In her post she explains there were several reasons for her choice, including feeling burnt out, lack of community in her department, and desire to start a family. Pursuing the doctorate no longer meshed with her goals: “After some soul searching, I remembered that the reason I was pursuing sociology in the first place was to better understand the mechanisms of social stratification because I wanted to better understand how to undo it. ​Four years of graduate study [later,] I felt like I had enough that the next five years would be better spent working for an NGO, nonprofit, or government position getting practical experience in the field.”

Heather Steel made a similar decision when she decided not to continue her PhD in the midst of dissertating. She learned important information about herself during graduate school. “There were parts of my program that I enjoyed very much (classes, having the chance to read and think, teaching, and my colleagues), but in the end,” she realized, “sitting for hours in front of a microfilm reader to write something that few people would actually read was not fulfilling.” Heather learned that she enjoys “research in small doses, not projects that take years to see results.” When I did an informational interview with her during my transition, I learned that she didn’t regret her choices. Her career has continued to progress since then.

When I was in Vancouver, a graduate student in the audience at one of my talks shared his own story: He’d been enrolled in a PhD programs years before, then left. But here he was back doing another doctorate! He was nearly done, and this time around he knew it was the correct path for him. I know several people who’ve done similar things, for a variety of reasons. Fascinating, eh?

If completing your PhD is the right move for you, carry on. Get support and help wherever you can find it, go part-time, or take a break or leave or absence. Make whatever changes you need to smooth your journey. But if the doctorate no longer makes sense — your goals have changed, you’ve learned more about yourself over the years — then I’ve got your back (in spirit) in deciding not to continue. You’re not “quitting” or “leaving”; instead, you’re embarking on a new, better-for-you path, taking what you learned and experienced and applying it in a context that’s more suitable to who you are, how you work best, and where you want to go. That’s risky and brave, but it’s also just you standing up for yourself. It took me until after my PhD to do that. Feel free to do as I didn’t.

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Very helpful, and applicable to many starts, stops and regroups along the career pathway. I feel better already!

Of course it’s okay to quit. If fact, I would encourage anyone to quit who would clearly be better off leaving a program and getting on with their lives. Life is precious and there are a lot of better ways to spend it than wasting away in a grad program.

It’s a sad statement on higher ed that an article like this has to even be written. Why should a student feel obligated to work away on a degree, when there are little to no job opportunities with the degree in hand? Especially if they don’t have funding and are going into debt?

I heard an employer once say that they’d be more likely to hire someone who quit a PhD program, since it would demonstrate that they could see it was not a good use of time and resources.

Years ago I was an ABD. I was married with 3 children and struggling financially. I was offered a position at a very attractive salary. I accepted the position and left the Faculty of Graduate Studies in “Good Standing”. A few years later an opportunity arose at my workplace which allowed me to complete a Doctorate at a different university in a different program. Leaving the original program and university was not the end of the world.

What is being ignored here is the nobility-like status of being able to add “Dr.” in front of your name. Even if others find it laughable, internally, this could be a motivation and feeling that you have achieved something in life that the majority of others didn’t (not saying they couldn’t but they didn’t!).

Also, throughout your life you are likely meet individuals who would show tremendous respect to the fact that you have a PhD whatever the field might be, even if they don’t offer you a job or pay you more money.

The internal and sometimes external respect and the sense of belonging to a select group is important in my view, and at least for me was an important part in motivating me to pursue my PhD was the fact that I could put “Dr.” in front of my name and belong to a select club.

I see what you mean, but I also think the value of the “Dr” is over-inflated in academia and those of us who are from that culture. Don’t get me wrong. I still get a kick out of being called a Dr… at the same time that it’s incredibly awkward. Depending on the company–for instance, if I’m around people who couldn’t access postsecondary education, let along secondary, which I do at times in my work–it can feel embarrassing to flaunt my title and my privileged access to (and resources to finish) a graduate degree. And I don’t need the title, at least not always, to get respect. It has strategic uses, but almost 3 years after graduating, I’m more energized when people recognize the work I do currently, which is outside of academia. I do want my more senior colleagues to address me as Dr. in professional settings, but only because it is appropriate–I work with many medical doctors and getting them to recognize that “I’m a Dr too!” has been a bit of a struggle.

Talking to friends who are in the process of finishing their degree (with a very real possibility that they won’t due to various barriers), I see the reverse of the pride and prestige associated with the Dr status rear its ugly head — shame. I think THAT more than the prestige of the title itself is concerning. Those of us who managed to finish our degrees should definitely feel proud of what we did and relish that title. But for those who did not finish their degrees to feel shame or be shamed is really unfortunate… because we achieve so much more than our degrees in our graduate programs, that are not recognized by the academic industry (because the truth is, education IS an industry). Defending our dissertations is just one milestone among many.

So yes–I agree that we shouldn’t undermine the value–external and internal–placed on the Dr status. But I also think both can happen at the same time: recognizing the prestige of the status AND moving away from shame-based discourse around not finishing/quitting/leaving the PhD process, whatever the reason might be.

Very nice to hear this discussion. I, like the audience member in their second doctorate program, quit my first then went back to complete a second doctorate. Unfortunately when I finished, I realized that my motivations were not the best ones for such an investment of time and money. So I learned, later than I wished, that sticking with the first decision to quit was actually the better one. No on should feel ‘less than’ for reevaluating their choices and finding what works; there are so many great adventures out there!

There were parts of my PhD that were fun and there were parts that made me want to quit and give up. Part of the process for me was learning which aspects of my academic program appealed to me and learning to be resilient regardless of the situation. I graduated and now I work for a company that recognizes my degree.

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Quitting a PhD

by Jana Steuer | Jun 18, 2021 | Career Navigation , Personal Experiences | 38 comments

You are not alone

About three months ago, I finally gathered the courage to speak to my supervisors about a fear of mine. My fear of failure, of nothingness, of emptiness awaiting if my PhD is not completed. I have had some really great talks with numerous people and came to a conclusion. On June 30th 2021, I will no longer be a PhD student. After almost two years, I quit, leaving academia without a doctorate. 

I wish to hold out a virtual hand to anyone going through similar experiences. It doesn’t mean you should do what I did and quit your PhD. But if you decide to do so, I want to reassure you that that’s okay. You are not worth any less, and you haven’t failed yourself or anyone else.

You are also not alone. Depending on the source, subject and country, around a quarter to half of all PhD students drop out before obtaining their degree. COVID-19 made things even worse. According to an Australian survey , due to financial hardships resulting from the pandemic, 45% of PhD students interviewed expected to be forced to quit 

Research is Hard. Academia is Even Harder.

First and foremost, I am a passionate astrophysicist. I love manning the university’s telescope at night and looking for new data to scrutinize later. I like coming up with creative solutions for complicated problems, to try and fail until something works.  But, science is not only that.  Science can also be pressure and a competition on who publishes first, who dedicates their life more for the cause, who works longer hours, who takes less breaks and days of vacation, who works for less, who moves around the world to countries they don’t speak the language of and they don’t know anybody in. 

I am not saying that everyone in academia acts like this, but partly, the field is dominated by people who do. This is also not necessarily a bad thing, since positive competition can be the path to a great career in science.

In the end, academia is a business, like any other. Only here, people are not coaxed into making profits by salaries, but by their love for science, and sometimes by a fear of not being as intelligent as they thought they were. 

The fact that a PhD position can be straining on your mental health is not new. In 2019, 36% of students responding to Nature ’s biennial PhD survey said they have sought help for PhD related anxiety and depression. In a survey of 50 000 grad students in the UK from the same year, 87% reported levels of anxiety, a much higher percentage than found within the general population. A summary of the most common stress factors during a PhD can be seen in Fig. 1.  Nature concludes that the current system in academia and research is ‘making young people ill’. And that the community should find a way to protect and empower them. Otherwise, they would be driven off. 

There will be many who disagree with me, those who are perfectly happy. And I do not believe they are all wrong. Some academics gladly give everything to science, and others find a way to maintain a balance between work and a private life. That is wonderful.

If I am not smart, what am I?

I have always put great emphasis on my personal academic performance. But this tilted from being something I just counted among inherent features of mine in school, to something far more sinister. When I began studying Physics, things suddenly got hard. I went through what most ‘gifted’ kids go through: in the real world, being smart does not cut it anymore.  I came through. I got my Bachelor’s and then my Master’s degree. I should have been proud.  I wasn’t. There was always something else to achieve, another title to obtain. My academic performance was no longer a side trait of mine. It became almost my sole source of self-worth. This behavior, while struggling to maintain my incredibly high standards, turned toxic very fast. 

When I got my PhD offer in 2019, I remember sitting in my car in the parking lot after the interview, crying happy tears and calling everyone to tell them the great news. I wanted this so bad. I always looked up to scientists, especially women, and thought to myself: ‘I want to be like that. I want that title, I want to do research and bring humanity ahead in its quest for knowledge’. I wanted to try. 

After I began my work as a PhD student, my life started to revolve around my own inadequacy. Anything I did, it was never good enough. I realized I wasn’t one of those people mentioned above. I couldn’t give it all to science, nor was I able to find a balance between work and my private life. I tried to work more, take on more projects, and write more papers. I thought, if I just pushed harder, maybe then I would be happy. 

When friends told me that I had begun to change and they were worried about me, I snapped out of it. I realized I had to leave. Not because I lost my love for the field or have no successes to report, but because I must maintain my mental health and self-worth. 

I came so far, I did real research for almost two years and parts of it were incredible. I learned so much, I was able to get into the frontiers of science. I am so thankful for all that. But it is time to leave now.

Taking Care of Yourself

Actually, I enjoy life. I am so lucky. I have friends and family and I am healthy. I want to be happy again. Putting it all on quitting my PhD is not the right idea, but removing myself from this vicious circle of hateful self-talk and self-loathing due to perceived academic failure is something important for me to do now. 

If you feel the same way, please, first and foremost, take care of yourself and feel free to reach out. Do not believe yourself that you are stupid or lazy or simply not good enough. You are doing something so incredibly hard. It is okay to struggle. It is great to pull through. And it is okay to quit. I don’t call it giving up, because making the decision to go was one of the bravest things I ever did. 

There are many great resources on quitting out there, published by journals like Science , Nature , etc., universities and individuals:

• A great walkthrough video on how to know when it’s time to quit
• Science listing several PhD quitting experiences
• Reasons to quit and reasons not to quit
• Astrobites Beyond article about imposter syndrome
• Astrobites Beyond article about mental health in research
• Astrobites Beyond article about self-care

Reading up on these has given me the courage to go through with my plans. It also helped me see that I am not tainted, nor shunned by the world of science. There is a problem with anxiety, depression and general poor mental health within academia and most people within it realize that. 

I am still an astrophysicist. I love science. I love astronomy. I am not leaving these things behind. They are always with me and a part of me. And of that, I will learn to be prouder every day.

Astrobite edited by Wei Yan

Du bist nicht allein

Vor ungefähr drei Monaten nahm ich endlich meinen Mut zusammen und suchte das Gespräch mit meinen Betreuern. Es ging um eine Angst, die schon länger in mir wohnte. Ein Angst vor dem Versagen, vor dem Nichts, der Leere die mich erwartet, wenn mein Doktor nicht vollendet wird. Nach einigen sehr hilfreichen und konstruktiven Gesprächen mit unterschiedlichen Leuten kam ich endlich zu einem Ergebnis. Nach dem 30. Juni 2021 werde ich keine Doktorandin mehr sein. Nach fast zwei Jahren breche ich ab und verlasse Akademia ohne einen Doktortitel.

Ich möchte meine virtuelle Hand jedem anbieten, der gerade ähnliches durchmacht. Das bedeutet nicht, dass du das selbe tun solltest wie ich und deinen Doktor abbrechen musst. Aber falls das die Entschiedung sein sollte, dann möchte ich dir versichern, dass das in Ordnung ist. Du bist weder weniger wert, noch bist du eine Enttäuschung für dich selbst oder irgendjemand anderen.

Außerdem bist du nicht allein. Abhängig von der Quelle, dem Fach und dem Land, brechen zwischen einem Viertel und der Hälfte aller Doktorand:innen ihre Promotion ab ohne einen entsprechenden Titel zu erlangen. COVID-19 machte die Dinge noch schlimmer. Gemäß einer Australischen Studie fürchteten 45% aller befragten Doktorand:innen aufgrund finazieller Engpässe abbrechen zu müssen.

Forschung ist hart. Die akademische Welt ist noch härter.

An allererster Stelle bin ich passionierte Astrophysikerin. Das Teleskop der Universität nachts zu bedienen und den Himmel nach neuen Daten abzusuchen, die es später zu analysieren gilt, hat mir große Freude bereitet. Ich finde Gefallen daran, kreative Lösungen für komplizierte Probleme zu entwerfen, etwas wieder und wieder zu probieren bis endlich etwas funktioniert. Doch Wissenschaft ist nicht nur das. Wissenschaft kann auch Druck und ein Wettbewerb sein. Es geht darum, wer zuerst veröffentlicht, wer sein Leben mehr dem Beruf opfert, wer länger arbeitet, weniger Pausen oder Urlaubstage nimmt, wer für weniger Geld arbeitet, wer in andere Länder dieser Welt zieht, deren Sprache er oder sie nicht spricht und niemanden dort kennt.

Ich behauptet nicht, dass alle in der akademischen Welt die Dinge so sehen, doch teilweise ist der Berufsbereich von Menschen dominiert, die es tun. Es ist auch nicht unbedingt etwas schlechtes, ein positiver Wettbewerb kann der Pfad zu einer großartigen wissenschaftlichen Karriere sein.

Letztendlich ist auch Forschung ein Geschäft wie jedes andere. Der gravierende Unterschied besteht darin, dass die Menschen nicht unbedingt durch Löhne überredet werden einen Profit zu erwirtschaften, sondern durch ihre Liebe zur Wissenschaft und manchmal durch die Angst, sie könnten weniger intelligent sein, als sie dachten.

Die Tatsache, dass eine Doktorstelle auf die mentale Gesundheit schlagen kann, ist nicht neu. 2019 gaben 36% der Studenten, die sich in der zweijährlichen PhD Studie von Nature äußerten, an, bereits Hilfte für Angstzustände oder Depressionen, die im Zusammenhang mit ihrer Doktorstelle stehen, aufgesucht zu haben. In einer Studie mit 50 000 Doktorand:innen in Großbritannien vom selben Jahr berichteten 87% von Angstzuständen, ein deutlich höhere Prozentsatz als im Rest der Bevölkerung. Eine Zusammenfassung der häufigsten Stressfaktoren während eines Doktors ist in Fig. 1 dargestellt. Nature kommt zu dem Schluss, dass das aktuelle System der akademischen Welt und der Forschung junge Leute krank macht. Die akademische Gemeinschaft müsse einen Weg finden, diese Menschen zu schützen und ihnen eine Stimme zu verleihen. Sonst würde man sie fort jagen.

Viele werden mir nicht zustimmen, diejenigen die sehr zufrieden sind mit ihrem Beruf in der Forschung. Ich denke nicht, dass sie falsch liegen oder sich selbst belügen. Einige geben gerne alles für die Wissenschaft und andere schaffen es eine Balance zwischen der Arbeit und ihrem Privatleben zu finden. Das ist großartig.

Wenn ich nicht klug bin, was bleibt dann?

Ich hatte schon immer großen Wert auf persönliche Leistungen gelegt. Doch das veränderte sich über die Zeit von einer Selbstverständlichkeit während meiner Schulzeit, zu etwas düsterem. Als ich began Physik zu studieren wurden die Dinge plötzlich schwer. Ich erlebte das, was die meisten ‘klugen’ Kinder erleben: in der echten Welt reicht klug sein nicht mehr. Ich biss mich durch. Ich erhielt meinen Bachelor und dann meinen Masterabschluss. Ich hätte stolz sein müssen. Ich war es nie. Es gab immer noch etwas, das erreicht werden musste, ein weiterer Titel. Meine akademischen Leistungen waren keine nebensächliche Eigenschaft meinerseits mehr. Sie wurden praktisch zur einzige Quelle meines Selbstbewusstseins. Natürlich wurde dieses Verhalten, während ich verzweifelt versuchte meine eigenen unglaublich hohen Standards zu erfüllen, sehr schnell toxisch.

Als ich 2019 das Angebot für meine Doktorstelle erhielt, war ich überglücklich. Ich erinnere mich, wie ich im Auto danach Freudentränen weinte und alle meine Freunde und die gesamte Familie anrief um ihnen von den guten Neuigkeiten zu berichten. Ich wollte das so sehr. Ich hatte immer schon aufgesehen zu Wissenschaftler:innen, vor allem zu Frauen, und hatte mir gedacht: “So möchte ich auch sein. Ich will diesen Titel, ich will Forschung machen und die Menschheit voran bringen in ihrem Durst nach Wissen.” Ich wollte es versuchen.

Nachdem ich mit der Arbeit begonnen hatte, begann mein Leben sich mehr und mehr um meine eignen Unzulänglichkeiten zu drehen. Egal was ich tat, es war nie gut genug. Ich verstand, dass ich nicht einer der oben genannten Menschen war. Ich konnte nicht alles der Wissenschaft opfern, noch war es mir möglich eine Balance zu finden zwischen der Arbeit und meinem sonstigen Leben. Ich versuchte mehr zu arbeiten, mehr Projekte anzunehmen und mehr paper zu schreiben. Ich dachte, wenn mich nur mehr anstrengte, vielleicht würde ich dann glücklich werden.

Als meine Freunde mir nach und nach sagten, ich würde mich verändern und dass sie sich Sorgen machten, riss ich mich von dieser Idee los. Ich wusste, dass es Zeit war zu gehen. Nicht weil ich meine Liebe zur Astronomie verloren hatte oder keine Erfolge zu vermelden hatte, sondern weil ich meine mentale Gesundheit und meinen Selbstwert erhalten musste.

Ich bin so weit gekommen. Ich war fast zwei Jahre involviert in der aktuellen Forschung und viele Teile davon waren großartig. Ich habe so wahnsinnig viel gelernt als ich an der vordersten Front der Wissenschaft wirkte. Für das alles bin ich dankbar. Aber nun ist die Zeit gekommen, zu gehen.

Pass auf dich auf

Tatsächlich genieße ich eigentlich mein Leben. Ich hab es so gut. Ich habe Familie und Freunde und ich bin gesund. Ich möchte wieder glücklich sein. Alles daran zu hängen, meinen Doktor abzubrechen und zu hoffen, dass damit alles gut wird ist natürlich naiv. Aber mich aus dem Teufelskreis gehässiger Selbstkritik und Selbstverachtung zu entfernen ist ein Schritt in die richtige Richtung.

Falls es dir ähnlich geht bitte ich dich darum, an erster Stelle auf dich aufzupassen und dir Hilfe zu suchen. Glaube dir nicht, dass du schlicht zu dumm, zu faul oder einfach nicht gut genug bist. Du tust etwas so unglaublich schweres. Es ist in Ordnung damit zu kämpfen. Es ist großartig es durchzuziehen. Und es ist in Ordnung abzubrechen. Ich nenne es ungern aufgeben, denn die Entscheidung zu gehen war eines der mutigsten Dinge, was ich jemals tat.

Es gibt viele wunderbare Ressourcen über das Abbrechen, veröffentlich von Journalen wie Science oder Nature , Universtiäten und Individuen:

• Ein Step-by-Step Video um festzustellen, ob es Zeit ist abzubrechen
• Science zählt verschiedene Erfahrungsberichte über das Abbrechen einer Doktorstelle auf
• Gründe für und gegen das Abbrechen
• Astrobites Beyond Artikel über das Imposter Syndrom
• Astrobites Beyond Artikel über mentale Gesundheit in der Forschung
• Astrobites Beyond Artikel über Selbstfürsorge

Diese Dinge zu lesen gab mir den Mut meine Pläne umzusetzen. Es half auch dabei zu erkennen, dass ich nicht gebrandmarkt oder verbannt bin von den Wissenschaft. Es gibt ein Problem mit Angst, Depression und allgemeiner schlechter mentaler Gesundheit in der akademischen Welt, und die meisten Menschen innerhalb verstehen das.

Ich bin immer noch Astrophysikerin. Ich liebe die Wissenschaft, ich liebe Astronomie. Ich lasse diese Dinge nicht hinter mir. Sind werden immer ein Teil von mir sein. Und darauf werde ich eines Tages lernen stolz zu sein.

Astrobite korrekturgelesen von Wei Yan

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38 Comments

Kinda wish I had that courage years ago, honestly. As a kid I wanted to be “an astronomer,” without—of course—really knowing or understanding what that meant. By the time I’d finished my bachelor’s degree however, a part of me had realized (due to some undergrad research work) that I didn’t really enjoy research but I eventually silenced my misgivings and got accepted to a PhD program several years later. A few months in I realized—again—that I don’t enjoy research and don’t want to go into academia, but I chose to stick it out rather than quitting in a country halfway around the world and am now just a few months from submitting, having spent the past ~3.5 years feeling pretty miserable on balance. I’ll finish at this point for the degree, but good on yah for having the courage to make a clear-headed decision to pursue something better-suited to you!

You could always come back to research/academia should you change your mind later on.

Currently trying to leave mine. My university are making it very hard to. I’ve been wanting to leave mine for over a year now. Even took leave for 6 months. It is just causing me so much anxiety and stress. None of my family understands and all call me a failure. This has really helped. Thank you.

Dear Jana, I can relate with what you shared with us. Once I felt like you do currently. I fell into severe depression while doing my MBA. I completed my coursework in 2005 which were 12 physical exams which drained me mentally. I returned in 2009 to complete my research and had a setback again when I saw 101 comments from my supervisor. Again, I decided to quit. In 2012, a friend of mine encouraged me to attend to the 101 comments. Within one month I attended to all the comments and managed to submit my thesis, and I graduated one month after my final submission in 2012. But this was not the end. I got a job at a university and started with my PHD in 2018. I finished my coursework in 2019. Then I finished my chapter 1 during Jan 2020 and currently I am working in Chapters 4 and 5. But the beauty of this journey, is that I am emotionally stronger. I enjoy what I do and have fallen in love with my research topic, as I see my job as educational technology as a hobby. I personally think that you just need te take a break and not to quit everything. There will come a time that you may experience the urgency to complete your research. Your field of research is complex and certainly not for me….for that I salute you! Take a break, Jane…..you can always achieve your goals…maybe not in the timeline you planned. But you’re going to get your PHD. Sooner or later. All the best and keep safe.

Hi, thank you for sharing your thoughts! I think everybody’s journey is different, and I do not yet know what the future will look like. Maybe, some time ahead, I will go back into research. There are so many different experiences when it comes to science, it all depends greatly on environment, colleagues, supervisors, personal conditions, etc. I think one thing that becomes evident when looking at people’s stories about wanting to or quitting academia, the diversity of the times after that is striking. You never know. You are a wonderful example.

You are not alone. I quit an Executive DBA, mid way through in the year 2002 and it is ok. May be you will have the courage and time to pursue your dream, sometime in the future.

Hi Jana, I can relate to you on so many levels. I completed my PhD recently, only after being diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I was first diagnosed in 2015 and I still take medication. My absent supervisor, lack of proper guidance led me to do everything single bit by myself. Now I am struggling to get postdoc as I have only one first author research article published. But how do I tell the recruiters, it wasn’t my incompetence. Two of my fellow students left PhD after 5 years, only because of our supervisor. There should be a system for scoring supervisors too.

Hello Jana,

I left medical school feeling like it wasn’t the right fit for me. I felt a similar empty feeling afterwards. For me the field had changed since I was a child. Following your passion and having a balance in your life is the key. I am glad you were able to make this tough decision.

In the current situation covid-19, India govt. taking steps only for 10th &12th class students. But it is true that, no any favourable action has shown by this govt . towards students those are doing hard work in field of PhD. in IITs,NITs, and other reputed University of India. Students are found haresh and decide to quit PhD. In this connection the higher education department of India to take any favourable step towards the concerned students,so that they are able to make their bright future.

Mental torture and harassment is the main problem for quitting PhD…and not work.

So now you are writing all these things to console yourself??

No, I write these things in order to contribute to creating awareness about the conditions many PhD students find themselves in and in order to let people know, who feel similarly, that they are not alone. Feeling alone is a major factor when falling into depression or developing anxiety. Also, quitting is still a very scary thing to do for many people and I felt like I benefited greatly from personal experience reports of people who did something I was thinking about doing but felt uncertain about.

I really can relate, my mental health got worse for the last 8 months. I am unable even to read articles or even right although I used to love studies as you said research is far stressful and tiring than studies. Plus, I am unable to make a balance between my personal life and research. I am thinking to quit my PhD but my case is bit complicated as my stay in the country I am currently residing in depends on my PhD

Hello Yasmine, I was feeling the same way. What country do yo live in?

Hmm…an anonymous ill-intentioned comment? Keyboard warrior, why don’t you put your efforts into something more productive?

Jana, a fantastic article. Thank you.

Great article! I quit my PhD in Health Science program during COVID and it was the best decision ever. No regrets. I have my physical and mental health back.

Hi Jana, I too have a similar past. I dropped out of my PhD in theoretical physics. It took toll my mental health. But quitting something that you grew up to do requires huge courage. But since 2020, the time I left PhD, life has been nice.

I’m in the same boat too. Thank you for your courage to share. I still shy away from telling people I’m quiting and feeling as you’ve mentioned, not good enough but yes, mental health and physical health is important. There’s more to life than a piece of paper. The years of slogging off and misery isn’t worth it. Thank you for writing. So I don’t feel so alone.

I feel you. I am going through the same trauma. Although I am doing ok and can finish my doctorate if I just stick around, but I dont feel happy. I have published a few articles and just about to start writing my thesis, but there is something missing. I feel a part of me is lost in the process and I cannot continue losing my sanity like this. I always liked challenges , but this is a vicious cycle, number of articles, IF and citation counts haunts me as my worst nightmare.

I understand how you feel and wish you good luck with wheres your heart at. Perhaps, I wanted to read this article to muster up some courage in taking a similar decision.

I think it’s not quitting. I think it’s an act of reprioritizing, redirecting, and regaining control. And isn’t that what every life is about. Good luck to you

Such a positive message. Thanks for adding it for our edification.

Jana, thank you for writing this. I’m in year 3 of my PhD, struggling with some of the same issues you mentioned. I needed to read this today and am thankful that you shared your story. I’m proud of you for making this hard decision and doing what was right for you, defying the guilt, shame and silence that are part of academia’s abusive cycles. I hope you find joy and purpose in your next steps.

I completely feel you. I am in the same state of mind currently. It’s been two years with losing myself everyday. But I worry about the consequences after quitting PhD. I don’t have a Plan B. What am I gonna do after it?

Thanks for the nice read. I keep circling back to the same gut feeling that I made a mistake. I didn’t take a gap year. I went into a Biomedical Science program right after undergrad and during the beginning of the pandemic (yay class of 2020.) It feels soul-sucking and I feel trapped. Once I leave, would I ever be able to go back? I’m just not sure what to do anymore…

1000 Dank für deinen Artikel. Das ist das, was ich gebraucht habe! Ich bin gerade in derselben Situation: Ich würde gerne aufhören, aber weiß noch nicht so recht, wann ich welchen Schritt gehen soll. Wie hast du es mit der Kündigungsfrist geregelt? Hast du einen Aufhebungsvertrag geschlossen? Wann hast du deinen Betreuern Bescheid gegeben?

Ich habe zusammen mit meinem Doktorvater beschlossen, einen Aufhebungsvertrag abzuschließen. Das beste ist, zunächst erst mal allen Bescheid zu geben, die davon betroffen sind. Das sind deine Betreuer:innen, Professoren:innen und auch deine Mit-Doktorand:innen. Ich bin mir sicher, dass durch ein offenes Gespräch das meiste geklärt werden kann. Es schadet bestimmt auch nicht, dich schlau zu machen was theoretisch dein nächst-möglicher Kündigungstermin wäre, laut deinem Vertrag. Es hat ca drei Monate gedauert, zwischen dem Zeitpunkt an dem ich meinen Betreuern Bescheid gegeben habe und meinem letzten Arbeitstag.

Thank you for this article. I’m doing my phd in a country where you get salary and benefits, so have non of the financial concerns. I’m mid-way through and thinking that perhaps I should quit too. I’m not being productive enough and find it boring and unstimulating (spent 3/4 of it during covid, so that might have an impact). Gearing into thinking of it as a first job you tried out. I’ve written reports, held presentations, been part of a team and done some teaching. Work stuff. If you hated your first job, no-one would judge for looking for a new job, so why would someone judge you with this particular job? It’s a job, finding a career elsewhere is fine.

Thank you for sharing your story Jana. I quit my PhD after 3 years in the program in 2019. It’s 2021 now and there are good days when I feel proud of making a brave decision, and bad days of questioning my self worth. Like you, I quit for my mental health and am working towards healing and recovering from that painful decision: quitting, failing to complete and achieve 3 years of time, money and hardwork. But at the end of the day, it’s true what you said about your mental health is an expensive price to pay and in this short life, you deserve to be healthy, happy and thriving. I’m happy for you Jana!

I’ve been writing my dissertation for several months now and to be honest, it’s a difficult one for me. It’s mentally draining, isolating, and there’s always guilt for the times I didn’t write or wasn’t able to write. I also question myself and felt that I’m not good enough and that I don’t deserve to be here. The whole time, there’s also this feeling of wanting to quit. I’m not happy anymore and I know that I will not even be pursuing research after this. As of now, I guess I will try to pull through but who knows, maybe one day I will change my mind and have the courage to walk away.

Anyway, thanks Jana for sharing your experience. I wish you well on whichever path you’re in now.

Thanks for sharing your experience Jana. I am currently enrolled in a PhD program but am just miserable. Quitting really scares me, and your words gave me some comfort, whatever the end result will be. Thanks.

Ich habe in Deutschland gewohnt, von 1953 bis 1964 und auch mal von 1966 bus 1967. My Mutti wahr Deutsch, geboren Berlin.

Ha! That’s all I can remember. I apologize if it is mispelled. I lived in Bad Tolz, and I attended Munich American High School, in 11th grade, way back in 1967.

Your article is fascinating. I found it when I Googled, “Giving yourself permission to quit your doctoral studies.” Back in 2010, at age 59, I began my DBA in Organizational Leadership, while working full time as an Assistant Professor at my institution. In order to achieve a full Professorship, I was required to achieve a “terminal degree.” In the US that is a doctoral degree.

In 2012, I finished all my course work with a 3,84 GPA (I had one grade that was not an A) and successfully completed my comprehensive exam, “with no required changes”, on my first attempt.

In 2015, I became ABD, when I ended my pursuit of my DBA. The reasons are not relevant to this exchange, but suffice it to say, it was not related to my ability to do the work. I had completed Chapter 3 of 5 on my dissertation journey.

I am popular with my students and am one of only a couple of faculty that is capable (because of life and professional experience) to teach in three different programs, nine different courses, undergraduate and graduate level. However, since I did not achieve my terminal degree, I was demoted to “instructor.” My income wasn’t affected that much, and I continued to average low 6 figures annually.

In January of 2022, at 71, I decided to “start over,” since this was one of the only “failures” in my life. After 7 years of not using APA regularly, it has been an uphill climb, but I am now two weeks away form completing my first course in what was to be my new doctoral journey. I say “was to be” because I have decided not to continue coursework after this course is successfully completed .

I did an old “Ben Franklin T Chart” and I came up with the fact that the ONLY two reasons I have for completing my doctoral degree is for:

(1.) Personal pride of accomplishment and (2.) Positioning myself for consultant’s work, after retirement. Period.

The reason to discontinue my studies are:

(1.) Cost in dollars (although while I am working, that is NOT a real concern)

(2.) Cost in Time (in the past 8 weeks I have been working, studying, writing papers, eating, and sleeping. Period.)

(3.) No Fun in my life. Every weekend is devoted 100% to writing papers and quizzes.

(4.) No valid reasons…no promotion objective, no increased income objective…no requirement form employer to retain my position…just ego needs.

(5.) Mental health considerations. Self imposed pressure, stress, and no real collegiality or cohort interaction, since it is 100% online. In addition, serious concerns over the ability to find an appropriate mentor/advisor at an institution where attendance is 100% online.

(6.) Most likely, there are other avenues for doing other course work that would benefit me and my college, including other designation programs that would increase my value to my students, and increase my ability to teach additional courses in additional programs. As an example, there is a 15 month Masters in Management available at my college which I could access tuition free and that would definitely increase my value to my college, and not take 3-5 years and a dissertation.

(7.) My need for life long leaning could be addressed by taking language course, or history courses, etc. I spoke German as a child, so I know I have the ability to learn foreign languages.

(8.) Lastly, since 100% of my teaching is online, I can do it from anywhere. This allowed my wife of 48 years and I wo travel for 2 months last year, and I was teaching “on the road.” This is not possible when I have papers due weekly and discussion posts weekly and quizzes , weekly…in addition to the 2-3 classes a week I teach in my “day job.”

I will most like still have depression and shameful feelings for “quitting,” but I am determined to work though it, because I know in my heart, I can do the work; I am simply not willing to sacrifice the years needed to do it, considering the limited time I have left to enjoy in my lifetime, considering my age.

Thanks again for your wonderful article.

PS. My son-in-law is an Associate Professor of Astro Physics. His telescope is smaller than yours but his love for the field is beyond measurement.

Love this so much. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks for sharing your story. I feel you, just quitted my PhD after 2 1/2 years. That was the toughest decision I had to make given that in Germany quitting a PhD is (allegedly) seen as a sign of no stamina, no willpower etc.

However, the tradeoff was between my (gradually worsening) mental health and finishing my PhD. This was the first time in my life where I prioritized my mental health before my (academic) achievements. And I can tell you all, it was worth it; perhaps I will regret it in couple of years (for that case, write a letter for your future self).

I wish you the best for the future, Jana.

Hi Jana, Thank you for sharing your story. I feel a sense of happiness knowing you (and others in the comment section) went through the same. As for me, I quit my PhD after 4 years in the UK. I was supposed to submit my final thesis. But i could not because of my anxiety. i had to seek a psychiatrist help. So I had 1 year gap to pause my study for my mental health (2019 was my 5th year). By March 2020, I was infected with the Covid19 but recovered (stage 3 with mild pneumonia). I think i had a blood clot problem (eg. DVT) within 6 month after that.

That long Covid gave me pain/pressure in my upper left chest, headache and tingling in my feet after sitting for a long period. This is not good for anyone who is doing a PhD in Computer Science. I did not submit my thesis by the given deadline March 2021. Fast forward.. today, my husband knows my condition and I am living with our daughter and a son. Petting a cat helps too! So, that’s my story, which I had to choose my mental health over PhD. It is like a white water rafting of my PhD journey and caught a rope for safety and sanity at the very last minute.

Thank you for this interesting article! I also quit my PhD for mental health reasons, in early 2022, in my third year. It was a tough decision. Sometimes, it’s harder to accept that decision, since I am still not sure what to do now professionally. I would be interested in knowing how you get prepared for job interviews after that, especially if you wanted to find a job in academia/research (as a research assistant for example).

Hello Jana, Thank you for sharing your thoughts and making us feel less lonely in this academia world. I feel a sense of belonging after reading all the comments as I am in my third year (an international student in a country where I don’t speak the native language) and already had a series of mental breakdowns. My boss micromanaged me to the point where I feel so underconfident and small. I was a excited kid when I entered the research field and now I feel lost and confused. I have been thinking of quitting since the beginning of second year but never able to gather the courage and now I feel its too late but at the same time, I don’t want to feel this way in my last year. I am 29 years old and I feel like I have wasted so much time on this and should finish this but every cell in my body is mentally drained and exhausted. I am sorry I am just venting out here. Trying to find some courage by pouring down my feelings. Any words of wisdom?

I needed to see this! I’ve started a four year studentship and am coming to the end of a second master’s before starting the PhD (supposed to be, in a matter of weeks), but have had some major set backs and doubts. My supervisor was a nightmare – a micromanager, and seriously messed things up, including my mental health – so I’ve been completing the MA by myself with little guidance whilst looking for a new supervisor. I felt let down/unheard by my department, and I’ve struggled to fit in with the workaholic culture. There are so many reasons as to why I feel stopping before it starts is the right decision, for one I’m 28 and want to start a family with my partner, but I get so many disapproving looks from my fellow students. “how could you give up such a great opportunity to have children? can’t you just do that later?” … For now I’m taking an extension for the MA to submit the dissertation, and a break to figure out whether or not to continue, but this article was really helpful to me as I recognise those self-sabotaging thoughts you had in myself. It’s comforting to know others found themselves at this crossroad and don’t see themselves as ‘failures’ for making a decision for their own health and wellbeing!

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Secret Service official overseeing protections is set to retire just months after Trump’s assassination attempt

Secret service spokesperson said michael plati’s retirement was planned before the trump assassination attempt, article bookmarked.

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White House Correspondent

A high-ranking Secret Service official with more than 26 years of federal law experience will retire from the agency, months after the assassination attempt on Donald Trump ’s life.

Michael Plati , the Assistant Director of the Office of Protective Operations, is a member of the Senior Executive Service. He leads operational divisions that reduce risks at protected events or to protectees. That includes leading the teams in charge of planning for the protection of Trump , President Joe Biden, Vice President Kamala Harris and more.

Plati had been considering retiring from his position in the agency for months. He will officially retire later this week on his 27th work anniversary, Greg Henning, a spokesman for Plati told The Independent .

“Mike has been discussing this with his family for more than a year,” Henning said. “He approached Acting [Secret Service] Director [Ronald Rowe] about his retirement last month, before the Democratic National Convention.”

The timing of his retirement, in concurrence with the July 13 shooting at a Trump rally in Butler, Pennsylvania is coincidental.

Preliminary investigations into the shooting have suggested that the Secret Service failed to take precautions before the former president appeared on stage at his rally. As a result, a gunman opened fire, killing one rallygoer and injuring others, including the former president.

The agency and its leaders have been under intense scrutiny since the shooting. Amid calls to step down, the former Secret Service Director Kimberly Cheatle resigned .

But Henning, as well as a spokesperson for the Secret Service, said Plati’s decision to retire was unrelated to the fallout from the shooting.

“Assistant Director Plati was not asked to resign or retire by anyone,” a spokesperson for the Secret Service told The Independent on Tuesday. “This was a personal decision that he has made and we thank him for his 27 years of dedicated service to the federal government.”

Leaders in Congress will continue to investigate the Secret Service’s protocols and decisions leading up to the Trump assassination attempt. The former director and acting director of the Secret Service have testified to Congress and more may be asked to do so.

“The U.S. Secret Service respects the role of oversight. We have and will continue to make employees available for transcribed interviews and to date we’ve provided over 2,400 pages of responsive documentation to Congress. These efforts will continue as our desire to learn from this failure and ensure that it never happens again is unwavering,” a spokesperson for the agency said.

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To stay or leave PhD after having completed 4 years

I apologize if this is too long a post, but I could really do with a few pointers about my current situation.

I am 25 years old and I will complete 4 years of my PhD in a computational applied mathematics program in the US in August 2013.

My bachelors was in pure mathematics. I had gotten interested in numerical analysis in that time and so I had applied to my current PhD program. I have been under my adviser for 3 years now (the first year at my university is spent in coursework). A PhD at my university is usually 5 years long.

Right now, I have almost nothing to report in the way of research, and consequently no publications , no conference submissions. I am getting increasingly nervous and frustrated about whether or not I will make it, even if I give myself an extra year by funding myself.

My adviser has consistently been making me work on uninteresting stuff, where most of the work involved is purely technical like writing brain-dead code, with almost zero chance for innovation.

BREAKDOWN OF MY PHD

After monkeying around reading research papers, in the first year under my adviser, he got very confident about getting an industrial project and got me working on that, in anticipation that the contract would go through. At the end of the year we found out that we did not get the project.

In the second year , he said he wanted to get into GPU parallel computing and to implement a few fluid dynamics algorithms. I slogged over many manuals, spent months and months writing and debugging code, all the time thinking that this would be used to do some simulations he was interested in and get them published. But at the end of the second year my professor completely lost interest in these numerical techniques he was making my implement.

Seeing his capricious attitude, I almost wanted to quit then and there itself. But I decided to just stick it out, thinking it might be 'just a phase'. Due to funding issues, he once more got me working in the third year on another project which essentially involved writing a lot of stupid code, and running endless benchmark tests.

I have basically ended up trying to do a PhD in mathematics without any mathematics in this PhD.

Finally, a couple of weeks back, I told him that I had had enough, and to give me some actual problems/material to work with. After about an hour of discussion, and informing him that I was ready to fund my self if required, he finally gave me a couple of possible starting points for what I hope would actually turn out to be worthwhile research.

MY QUESTIONS

I do realize it was extremely foolish waiting for so long before putting my foot down, and not having the courage to speak up before. My adviser is well-regarded by colleagues in his field, and maybe I was subconsciously scared of contradicting his handling of my PhD for pissing him off.

But even though he has now suggested problems which do seem interesting, after having had so many negative experiences I am very skeptical about the future. How should I proceed, and what are the factors I should consider ?

Frankly, I am feeling very burned out. In the way of future plans, I have been toying with the idea of dropping out, getting a break for a few months and then sitting for some entrance exams for a Masters in Economics in some good universities back in my home country. I always found economics very interesting through my undergrad and more so these past few-months while studying it has a hobby.

Continuing would require me to stay on for an extra year till August 2015, which leaves me about 17 months tops from now, before I start hunting in academic job market. This includes about 2-3 months I will have to spend doing literature review on the proposed topics and learning the requisite mathematical tools.

So if I decide to stay on, how should I re-structure my study/research time and the relationship with my adviser in these 17 months so that I can make some head-way.

Maybe 17 months is too short a time? Any suggestions would be really helpful !!

• 13 What did your advisor say when you asked this question? (If you can't ask your advisor this question, you're doomed. Walk away now.) –  JeffE Commented Jun 22, 2013 at 11:35
• 3 @JeffE What left me somewhat aghast during my discussion with him was that he confessed that he too did not find my current assigned project(which is industrial)interesting.Also,he knows pretty little in that particular area.With regards to question 1,I am currently not sure how to breach the topic of leaving and being skeptical about the future.For question 2,whether 17 months is too short,he said he was hopeful(like he always does with other projects)but all would basically depend on how much progress I make(Duh!).Maybe I should ask again.Are there any other pertinent questions I shouldraise –  smilingbuddha Commented Jun 22, 2013 at 12:21
• 1 I am seeing myself in a similar situation in two years. My question is: do you think you could push your code as the contributions to the packages that solve similar problems that you were trying to solve? (become a contributor or even co-author) If yes, do you think it may help your situation? –  NPcompleteUser Commented Jun 22, 2013 at 20:07
• You are young ... I am sure you will make it. But if you are not happy with your field, professor, or university .. then run away now ! ... I am sure you have more experience in research now .. so if you switch to another topic, it will be easier for you to tackle it. My advice .. don't leave your PhD (take a break .. that's fine, but don't give up your PhD). You need to know (learn) how things work in Academic Research. They re really nothing but few tricks you need to learn .. if you get that, then everything will be fine. –  AJed Commented Jun 22, 2013 at 21:32
• 3 @RoboKaren: Good edit. Poor advising is not the same thing as mental illness. –  Pete L. Clark Commented Jul 9, 2014 at 5:41

5 Answers 5

Firstly, no apology needed, your question is thorough and easy to read and understand. It sounds like you are in quite an unpleasant situation.

Don't take any advice I may give as gospel, but in answer to your questions:

You are most certainly not foolish to wait until now to stand up to your advisor, you have had several leads and have given many chances for the project to kick into gear. You have every right and reason to feel skeptical about the current promises and project direction.

Ultimately, how you proceed is up to you (you're probably understandably sick of hearing that), but look at the following considerations (no doubt many other members will add to this):

• The new direction could well be a winner, leading to papers, conferences and most of all, fulfillment. It could also be a good one as now, you have made your feelings clear to your supervisor.
• Could this be just another academic 'false positive'?

Perhaps outline a couple of potential papers and present them to your advisor (this is something I do). This could be an ongoing thing, alongside your research - outline potential papers.

As for the timeframe, 17 months - I would not be too worried about that - I have been able to get three papers published in less than ten months, with a 4th on the way and the 5th planned (I finish my Ph.D. at the end of the year).

I hope this helps, and I hope it all gets sorted out for you.

• 3 Thank you very much for your thoughtful response. I really like the idea of outlining potential papers after reviewing the literature. I do hope the newly suggested line of work won't be a false positive. I think I might need to see where all this takes me for a couple of months, and probably get out if I still feel miserable. –  smilingbuddha Commented Jun 22, 2013 at 13:57
• 4 You're welcome, and remember your well-being is more important than the PhD. –  user7130 Commented Jun 22, 2013 at 14:11
• 1 I left after 4 years, after my comprehensive was completed (granted, I did leave with a MSc so the situation was a bit different). It took me about 3 years to figure a few things out so you shouldn't blame yourself. It happens and you are not alone. –  Theresa Liao Commented Jun 25, 2013 at 19:56

One thing that you need to consider is the way quitting is going to look in your CV. If I was a prospective employer and I saw that you spent 4 years in a PhD program without getting a PhD (or even publications, for the matter), that would be a huge red flag. I'd wonder if you spent those years doodling on facebook and hanging out in cafes. I could even reason that perhaps you are just not as bright as you claim to be. Either way, that's not the kind of person I would want in my company. If you quit now, you should really find a way to preempt this kind of concerns.

With respect to time, I can tell you from experience that 17 months is more than enough provided that (i) you have a clearly defined dissertation topic; (ii) you work hard (and here we are talking about 60-to-70 hours/week; one of the guys in my cohort wrote his entire dissertation in 12 months and his girlfriend complained that, during those 12 months it was almost like she didn't have a boyfriend at all); and (iii) you have a good supporting network of peers and mentors to keep you going in the right direction. I'd say that, at this stage, (i) and (iii) are the most important points. If you can produce a proof-of-concept paper within the next couple of months and a couple of more experienced people agree that it is a worthy project, then you've overcome the largest obstacle.

I just wanted to share my experience with you as I am going through almost the exact same situation.

After a promising two year start and killing my physics classwork and getting my Masters in physics, I picked an adviser and took over a project that a graduate student, who was graduating as I was joining the group, had been working on. Like you, I spent almost all my time coding (a good deal of it CUDA programming) or dealing with certain mathematical problems. I've spent approximately 5-10% of my time on physics and feel that I've done more reproduction of others research, albeit in a more innovative and optimized way, than answering new questions.

I chose to use my time guiding these different projects to learn job-market relevant skills. I use my status as a student to take advantage of school-specific career fairs and professional development. What I've found is that there is quite a demand for physicists (and even more so computational applied mathematicians) out there. It also opened my mind to the types of skills the job market is looking for.

As a result, I've found my anxiety concerning lack of research results has dropped off dramatically! The burnt out feeling I had dissipated considerably as I started seeing that the skills I was learning directly contributed to my future success. I'd highly recommend you start the job search now and try and pick a project that you enjoy that would make you even more attractive to an employer you'd enjoy working for. Also, as for restructuring your relationship, I agree with you that you should indeed take more of a lead in your own research topics. Find projects that force you to learn modern, in-demand techniques and methods, especially those YOU find interesting. It'll help you from feeling burnt out.

Don't worry about quitting the Ph.D. Contrary to other answers, none of the employers I interviewed with cared about me quitting the Ph.D. In fact, they were specifically trying to hire Masters or below. I guess if you have your heart set on academia, then quitting the Ph.D. is an issue. In summary, I'd just say start your job search now and tailor your studies towards employment : it'll help your motivation stay high, produce solid results and allow you to seamlessly hit the job market when you finish!

Another possibility : get an internship. It'll help you get your foot in the door somewhere, give you some much needed professional experience on your resume and a much needed change of scenery. I find that when I take a break and come back to a project, I can hit it all the harder and get over some of the bad humps.

• 2 Your answer seems suitable for people wanting to go to industry. But, the OP specificly said " before I start hunting in academic job market " and " I wanted to get into academia to research in that area. ". –  Nobody Commented Jan 24, 2015 at 6:16
• I don't see why it can't be applied to academic "employers." You need to go somewhere after you get your Ph.D. and discovering your passions now well certainly help you get a good and appropriate post-doc. –  Hair of Slytherin Commented Jan 24, 2015 at 6:21
• Then why did you say " Don't worry about quitting the Ph.D "? –  Nobody Commented Jan 24, 2015 at 6:23
• Because worrying about quitting the Ph.D makes slogging through getting the Ph.D all the more stressful. Life isn't over if you bail on this piece of paper. I've never quit anything in my life. I hate my Ph.D research. When I was not even entertaining the thought of quitting the Ph.D, it made life miserable to the point of despair. When I allowed myself the fantasy of quitting the Ph.D, I realized that life would not end and that life was actually pretty decent. Research became a lot easier to focus on and the feeling of burntout-edness went away. –  Hair of Slytherin Commented Jan 24, 2015 at 6:27
• 1 That's an odd idea how to stay in Academia. –  Nobody Commented Jan 24, 2015 at 6:31

I had far more worse situations in my life than leaving a Ph.D, all were hard decisions. When something does not work, it is like trying to support a building severely hit by earthquake using temporary solutions. The problem is that you can never build a skyscraper and will always got stuck with a few floor tall building all over your life.

If you demolish your useless building, in the future you can build a strong skyscraper. Off course you will be homeless for some time, but you are still very young with many options. So if you can get a Master's degree instead of Ph.D definitely leave it. I think your advisor will also look this favoroubly. Even he can write good recommendation letters for you.

It really helps if you take some time off and get a job in your field if you can. That way it serves to rejuvenate your mind and gives you a breather. By doing so you can hit three birds with one stone: 1) you take a break and feel better 2) you have some money to use 3) you become more interested in other subjects you never thought you would have liked, such as technology, fashion, the business world, different languages and culture, etc. I didn't say to quit, I said to take some time off and "find yourself, to rediscover yourself". Will it help? Maybe or maybe not. Perhaps if you look at yourself in comparison to the rest of the world. You're doing a PhD which is one of the most prestigious and most sought after degree in the world. Not many people are able to do that let alone get a bachelor degree. Be grateful. Some people don't even have enough money to afford a days meal or a roof over their head. Hell be lucky you're not in combat or war. Sometimes it helps to appreciate with what you have. That may give you motivation to keep going. Maybe PhD isn't for you. Maybe it is for you. maybe you're meant to become the next Bill Gates or the next president. Who knows. My point is no matter what happens always keep your head up, stay confident, and don't ever give up. Take a break. But don't give up. No don't worry you are not alone. The fact that you made it this far shows you are a winner (Charlie Sheen haha just kidding). Don't give up doc.

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