jokes on phd students

PhD Jokes And Puns

These funny PhD jokes and puns are a real lesson in humor! In fact, they’re in a class of their own! No need to doctor them, they get top marks just as they are!

Funny PhD Jokes

My socially anxious friend just got a PhD in palindrome studies.

I call him Dr. Awkward.

What is Dr. Pepper’s PhD in?

I have finished writing my PhD thesis on penguins.

In hindsight, I probably should have written it on paper.

I got a PhD in rap and washing clothes.

They call me Dr. LaunDré.

What do you call an owl with a PhD?

I have a friend who just finished her PhD in Botany.

Instead of math and statistics, her dissertation is full of pictures of exotic plants.

She sure has a lot of photos in thesis.

A Gen Z kid and a boomer walk into a bar.

They sit down and the Gen Z kid orders from the gluten free vegan menu and the boomer orders a T-Bone steak.

They start chatting and the Gen Z kid says that social justice issues are the biggest problem facing the world, and that the white supremacist patriarchy is a plague on society.

The boomer waves this off and says the kids these days are just too sensitive, and that he fought for civil rights in the sixties and did his part.

They go back and forth on this for a while, and finally the Gen Z kid says, “We’re just not gonna settle this. We don’t see eye to eye. You’re too old and out of touch and I’m too young and inexperienced. What we need to do is ask a Millennial with a PhD in sociology for their opinion.”

The boomer says, “That’s a great idea!” And yells, “HEY BARTENDER, C’MERE!”

Flight attendant: Do we have a doctor on board?

Me: I have a PhD in mathematics.

Flight attendant: one passenger is having a heart attack and one passenger is having an asthma attack.

Me: nodding that makes two.

I have a PhD in procrastin …

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.

“I just completed my PhD in Scottish poetry,” he tells the bartender. “Now I’ve got third degree Burns.”

What do you call a cat with a PhD in Marine Biology?

A Doctopuss.

What do you call a chili with a PhD?

Dr. Pepper.

Who is the only Looney Tunes character with a doctorate?

MIT’s Computer Science PhD application only accepts text files.

That’s really ASCII a lot, in my opinion.

My PhD was about torque.

I guess that makes me a spin doctor.

I have a friend who a PhD in interactions of matter and energy at all length and time scales in the physical universe.

The only job he could get was at a soda factory.

In a roundabout way, he did become a fizzicist.

Dad: “My first son has a PhD in arts, my daughter has two degrees in communication and journalism and my youngest son is a burglar.”

Friend: “Wow a burglar? You should kick him out!”

Dad: “Nah… he is the only one who makes money.”

A man walks into a bar and finds its patrons raucously celebrating with a young man standing on the bar shouting for more drinks, on him.

He walks up to the bar and shouts to the young man, “What’s the occasion?”

“My career’s in ruins!” the lad cackles.

The man, shocked, replies, “Then why are you celebrating?”

“I’ve just completed my PhD in archaeology!”

What’s the difference between a jungle cat who wrote his PhD thesis on the economic effects of taxation, and the order of insects that includes butterflies and moths?

One’s a leopard doctor of tax economy, the other’s a lepidopteral taxonomy.

So, I have this friend who studied to become an Egyptologist.

The only way he can make a living is by becoming a PhD and teach others to become Egyptologists.

As far as I’m concerned, it is a pyramid scheme.

A rabbit says to a fox, “I’m writing a dissertation on how rabbits eat foxes.”

“Come on, you know that’s impossible! No one will publish such rubbish.” says the fox.

“Well, follow me and I’ll show you.”

They both go into the rabbit’s dwelling and after a while, the rabbit emerges with a satisfied expression on his face.

Then comes a wolf.

“Hello, what are we doing these days?”

“I’m writing the second chapter of my thesis, on how rabbits devour wolves.”

“Are you crazy? Where is your academic honesty?”

“Come with me and I’ll show you.”

As before, the rabbit comes out with a satisfied look on his face and a diploma in his paw.

Finally, the camera pans into the rabbit’s cave and we see a mean-looking, huge lion, sitting, picking his teeth and belching, next to some furry, bloody remnants of the wolf and the fox.

The moral: It’s not the contents of your thesis that are important – it’s your PhD advisor that really counts.

I’ve been doing my psychology PhD thesis on the mental health and well-being of little people.

After 4 long years and multiple studies, I’ve concluded…

6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t Happy.

What do you call someone who does a BA in Arts, a MA in English and a PhD in Gender Studies?

A well educated Barista.

To the woman I met in the bar last night who was mad at me this morning…

I never said I had a PhD in theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical PhD in physics.

What does PhD stand for?

Fancy Degree. It’s so fancy it’s spelled with a Ph.

After many years of studying at a university, I’ve finally become a PhD.

Or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it.

Due to the size of my student loans for my PhD I have debts no honest man could pay.

Luckily I’m a statistician.

What’s the difference between a PhD in mathematics and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

My PhD student claimed to have made a breakthrough in hyperbolic geometry.

Turns out he was just exaggerating.

I’m starting a charity for PhD students so they can finally afford to live on their own without the need for roommates.

It’s called “Doctors without Boarders.”

An illiterate dad and his son who has a PhD in astronomy went camping.

They unpacked and set up their tent.

After dinner they went to sleep.

A few hours later dad woke and was looking up at the stars.

He woke his son up and asked him, “What do you see?”

The son said, “Astronomically, it tells you that there are a lot of galaxies out there.”

His father interrupted, “No you idiot, someone stole the tent.”

What do call a fish with a PhD?

A brain sturgeon.

Jokes About PhDs

If you liked these hilarious pun and jokes about PhDs, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these:

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With all my high level degrees and PHD's, I stumbled upon these questions......... 1. If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous? 2. Which letter is silent in the word "Scent," the S or the C?

I'm starting a charity for phd students so they can finally afford to live on their own without the need for roommates....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between a jungle cat who wrote his PhD thesis on the economic effects of taxation, and the order of insects that includes butterflies and moths?

How to get a phd in music, what is the most common question that a person holding a phd in philosophy asks other people, what does phd stand for, my nerdy friend just got a phd on the history of palindromes., my socially anxious friend got a phd in palindromes., what do you call somebody with the phd in the field of drink carbonation, i've been doing my psychology phd thesis on the mental health and wellbeing of little people. after 4 long years and multiple studies, i've concluded..., i tell my dates i have a phd in sex talk., i have a phd, i have finally completed my phd in literary criticism..., right after i got my phd in theoretical physics, i was able to land a job at stanford, due to the size of my student loans for my phd i have debts no honest man could pay...., why god never got a phd, did you know that brian may, the guitarist from british rockband queen, has a phd on astrophysics, who called it phd, what's the difference between a phd in mathematics and a large pizza, what do call a fish with a phd, i was driving down a country road when i saw a sign: "talking dog for sale.", having a phd. gains you leverage in online dating, an illiterate dad and his son who has a phd in astrology went camping., i have a phd, a phd student, a post-doc, and their professor are walking through a city park., for my phd thesis, i wanted to write the best researched paper about general relativity, so my crush wants a guy with a phd, why are black people unable to get a phd, i’m like dr. strange without the phd and magic cape., a gen z kid and a boomer walk into a bar, hospitals are full of hypocrites, so, i have this friend who studied to become an egyptologist, what do you call a black man with a phd , what does dr. pepper have his phd in, an awkward friend of mine just finished his phd in palindrome theory.., a harvard grad with a phd and a redneck with a 5th grade education are in a contest, after many years of studying at a university, i’ve finally become a phd, my phd student claims to have made a breakthrough in hyperbolic mathematics, a us navy cruiser anchored in mississippi for a week's shore leave., why dentist don't like phd holders , i've decided to get a phd in how much soda you should have for the end of the world., a physicist, an engineer and a statistician are on a hunting trip..., how do you make a venetian blind, one day, a red fruit loop looked at himself in the mirror and said, "i need to become an orange fruit loop.", engineer and an academic on a plane, a rabbit says to a fox, "i'm writing a dissertation on how rabbits eat foxes", a man walks into a brothel with $100, after working long and hard for my phd people finally recognize me.., a white girl, an asian girl and a black girl are on a plane..., there once was hippo child prodigy., my chemistry professor e-mailed this joke to me., comeback school, educated sons, did you hear about the octopus who works as a therapist (nsfw), jeffrey vs. clown (long), a man goes to the circus, a doctor who was proud of his degrees..., why there are led lights now.

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PhD Jokes: Hilarious and Clever Doctorate Humor

• March 12, 2024

Are you in need of a good laugh? Look no further than these hilarious PhD jokes that are sure to tickle your funny bone. From poking fun at the long hours spent in the lab to the endless revisions of dissertations, these jokes capture the unique humor found in the world of academia.

PhD jokes often highlight the struggles and triumphs that come with pursuing a doctorate degree. Whether it’s the never-ending quest for funding or the jargon-filled conversations at conferences, these jokes offer a lighthearted perspective on the challenges faced by PhD students.

Best Phd Jokes

Here’s five jokes about Phd:

1. Why did the PhD student bring a ladder to the library? Because they heard the books were high-level! 2. How many PhD students does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but it may take them 5 years to finish! 3. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems. PhD students can relate! 4. What do you call a PhD student who doesn’t procrastinate? An urban legend! 5. Why did the PhD student bring a pencil to the interview? In case they needed to draw examples on-demand!

Family Friendly Phd Jokes

Here’s some family friendly funny jokes about Phd:

1. Why did the PhD student bring a ladder to the library? To reach the highest levels of knowledge! 2. How many PhD students does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it will take them five years to do it. 3. What do you call a group of PhD students? A procrastination of scholars. 4. Why did the PhD student study herbology? Because they wanted to weed out bad research. 5. How does a PhD student communicate with their plants? Through thesis-statements. 6. What’s a PhD student’s favorite type of music? Dissertations. 7. Why did the PhD student bring a pencil to the exam? To draw their own conclusions. 8. How do you know if someone has a PhD? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you. 9. What’s a PhD student’s favorite movie genre? Research-mentaries. 10. Why did the PhD student major in philosophy? To ponder the meaning of life, the universe, and their thesis topic. 11. Why did the PhD student get a pet snake? It helps them practice their python programming skills. 12. Why did the PhD student switch from studying biology to psychology? They realized they could dissect people’s behavior instead of frogs. 13. How does a PhD student stay warm in the winter? By burning rejected research papers for heat. 14. What did the PhD student say after successfully defending their thesis? “I’ve arXived at my destination.” 15. Why was the PhD student always calm during presentations? They had a high degree of composure. 16. How do you get a PhD student to leave a party? Start a discussion about their research. 17. What did the PhD student do at the beach? They conducted a peer-reviewed study on sandcastle architecture. 18. Why do PhD students make great detectives? Because they always follow the evidence. 19. What’s a PhD student’s favorite exercise? Running experiments. 20. Why was the PhD student’s bookshelf always full? Because they never returned anything to the library Ð they were afraid someone else would check it out first.

Phd Jokes One-liners – Short Jokes

1. Why did the thesis break up with the bibliography? It just wasn’t a good reference. 2. I told my advisor I wanted to do a thesis on time travel. He said I had all the time in the world. 3. The only thing more daunting than writing a dissertation is trying to pick a font for it. 4. A Ph.D. is just a fancy way of saying you can Google better than most. 5. How many Ph.D. students does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but it will take 5 years to finish. 6. Research shows that Ph.D. students have the best theories, but the worst social lives. 7. The only time Ph.D. students count sheep is when they canÕt sleep due to stress over their thesis. 8. Ph.D. students are the only people who can spend hours studying the impact of procrastination on productivity. 9. What’s a Ph.D. studentÕs favorite part of a cookbook? The footnotes. 10. The only thing Ph.D. students love more than research is complaining about research. 11. Why did the Ph.D. student bring a ladder to the library? To reach the high shelves of knowledge. 12. Ph.D. students are like ninjas Ð they disappear for months and suddenly reappear with a thesis. 13. The only exercise a Ph.D. student gets is bending over backward for their committee. 14. The only thing more delayed than a Ph.D. student’s graduation is their advisor’s feedback. 15. A Ph.D. studentÕs idea of a wild night is staying up past 9 P.M. working on their dissertation. 16. Ph.D. students are like sprinkle-covered cupcakes Ð bright and sweet on the outside, but crumbling under pressure. 17. How does a Ph.D. student stay warm in the winter? By burning all their rejected drafts for heat. 18. Why don’t Ph.D. students play hide and seek? Good luck finding them among all the piles of research papers. 19. The only thing Ph.D. students fear more than failing their defense is running out of coffee during it. 20. The only thing longer than a Ph.D. student’s literature review is their list of excuses for not finishing it.

Phd Dad Jokes

1. Why did the PhD student bring a ladder to the library? Because they heard the studies were looking up! 2. What do you call a PhD who is also a magician? A thesis wizard! 3. Why did the PhD student always carry a pencil? In case they needed to draw conclusions! 4. How did the PhD student fix their broken experiment? With some research tape! 5. Why did the professor bring a shovel to class? To dig deep into the subject matter! 6. How did the PhD student propose? With a research proposal, of course! 7. What did the ocean say to the PhD student? Nothing, it just waved! 8. Why did the PhD student bring a magnifying glass to the lab? To make their findings crystal clear! 9. How does a PhD student organize a space party? They planet! 10. Why did the mathematician break up with the biologist? Because they couldn’t find a common denominator! 11. Why was the PhD student always calm during experiments? Because they had a hypothesis! 12. How did the PhD student introduce themselves at the networking event? “Hi, I’m a hypothesis in progress!” 13. Why did the PhD student go to the aquarium? To conduct research on marine biology! 14. How does a PhD student stay warm in the winter? By wearing their thesis statement! 15. What did the tomato say to the PhD student? “Ketchup with you later!” 16. Why did the PhD student become a chef? Because they wanted to experiment with different flavors! 17. How does a PhD student make a decision? By conducting a thorough literature review, of course! 18. Why did the computer go to school? To get a byte-sized education! 19. What do you call a group of PhD students at a conference? A hypothesis of scholars! 20. How did the PhD student fix their car? By conducting a thorough diagnostic study!

Phd Surreal Jokes

1. Why did the PhD student bring a ladder to the research lab? To take their study to a whole new level!

2. How does a PhD student open a door? They use their thesis statement as a key!

3. Why did the PhD student plant a tree next to their computer? To study data branches, of course!

4. What did the frustrated PhD candidate say to their overflowing bookshelf? “I can’t handle all these plot twists!”

5. How does a PhD student make tea? By conducting a steep analysis!

6. Why did the chicken cross the research lab? To get to the other hypothesis!

7. What do you call a group of PhD students at a party? A thesis statement!

8. Why did the PhD student bring a mirror to their defense presentation? To reflect on their research!

9. What do you call a fruit that has a PhD? A pineapple of knowledge!

10. Why did the PhD student bring a pencil to the library? To draw conclusions!

11. How do you catch a squirrel as a PhD student? By setting up a peer-reviewed nut trap!

12. What do you call a ghost who has a PhD in haunting houses? A boo-k smart spirit!

13. Why did the mathematician bring a ruler to their PhD defense? To measure up to the challenge!

14. What do you call a group of dolphins with PhDs? The porpoiseful pod!

15. Why did the PhD student wear sunglasses while writing their dissertation? To avoid getting blinded by their own brilliance!

16. How do you make a tissue dance as a PhD student? Put a little boogie in it!

17. Why did the biology PhD student become a comedian? They had DNA for humor!

18. What do you call a dentist with a PhD? A tooth scholar!

19. How do you know if a chemistry experiment is funny? If it causes a reaction!

20. Why did the PhD student bring a GPS to the library? To navigate through all the research materials!

Phd Dark Humor Jokes

Here’s some funny Phd jokes for adults:

1. Why did the PhD student bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house. 2. How many PhD students does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it will take them 5 years to do it. 3. Did you hear about the PhD student who got into a fight with their advisor? They ended up having a peer-reviewed smackdown. 4. Why did the PhD student break up with their calculator? It just couldn’t handle the complexity of their relationship. 5. What do you call a group of PhD students at the beach? A lost thesis. 6. Why did the PhD student bring a pencil to the interview? Just in case they needed to draw some conclusions. 7. What’s a PhD student’s favorite type of humor? Dry humor, just like their research papers. 8. How do you confuse a PhD student? Ask them to explain their thesis in simple terms. 9. Why did the PhD student bring a mirror to the lab? To reflect on their questionable life choices. 10. Why did the PhD student bring a chainsaw to the conference? To cut through all the peer-reviewed nonsense. 11. What do you call a PhD student who’s also a magician? A master of “disappearing” data. 12. Why did the PhD student bring a map to the library? They heard it was uncharted territory for them. 13. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open. 14. Why did the scientist go to therapy? They had too many issues. 15. Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems. 16. Why did the biology student break up with the psychology student? They couldn’t find a meaningful connection. 17. Why did the chemist like naps? Because they’re a solution to all problems. 18. Why did the physicist refuse to play hide-and-seek? They didn’t want to be found in a state of “uncertainty”. 19. Why did the engineer bring a pencil to the party? In case there was a sketchy situation. 20. Why did the statistics professor bring a ladder to the classroom? To help their students reach new heights of understanding.

How to Use Phd Jokes In a Conversation?

Using Ph.D. jokes in a conversation can be a fun way to lighten the mood or entertain your friends and colleagues. When used appropriately, these jokes can showcase your wit and humor while also bonding over the shared experience of academia. Here are some tips on how to effectively use Ph.D. jokes in your conversations.

Know Your Audience

Before cracking a Ph.D. joke, it’s essential to gauge your audience and ensure that they will appreciate the humor. While academics and students might find these jokes amusing, others may not share the same level of enthusiasm. Use discretion and tailor your jokes to the group you are with.

Relate to Common Experiences

One of the best ways to use Ph.D. jokes is to relate them to common experiences or challenges faced by Ph.D. students and researchers. Whether it’s referencing the never-ending cycle of revisions, the struggle to maintain work-life balance, or the frustration of experimental setbacks, shared experiences can make jokes more relatable and amusing.

Use Humor to Connect

Humor can be a powerful tool for building connections with others. By using Ph.D. jokes in your conversations, you can show your playful side and create a light-hearted atmosphere. This can help break the ice in social situations or strengthen relationships with colleagues who appreciate academic humor.

Avoid Offending Others

While Ph.D. jokes can be funny and entertaining, it’s crucial to be mindful of not offending anyone with your humor. Avoid jokes that are overly critical, insensitive, or perpetuate stereotypes about academia. Instead, focus on light-hearted and relatable jokes that everyone can enjoy.

Practice Moderation

Like any form of humor, Ph.D. jokes are best used in moderation. While they can be a great way to inject humor into a conversation, overusing them can make you come across as one-dimensional or insincere. Use Ph.D. jokes sparingly and be attentive to the reactions of others to ensure that everyone is enjoying the banter.

By following these tips, you can effectively incorporate Ph.D. jokes into your conversations and use them to entertain, connect, and bond with others in academic and professional settings.

Final words

In conclusion, PhD jokes provide a humorous glimpse into the world of academia and the unique challenges faced by those pursuing advanced degrees. These jokes capture the mix of stress, dedication, and absurdity that often come with the pursuit of higher education. Whether poking fun at the length of dissertations, the complexity of research, or the relationship between grad students and their advisors, these jokes offer a lighthearted perspective on the demanding journey of obtaining a PhD.

From poking fun at the infamous imposter syndrome to the struggles of trying to explain one’s thesis in simple terms, PhD jokes continue to resonate with graduate students and academics alike. They serve as a form of comic relief in an environment that can sometimes feel overwhelmingly serious and competitive. Despite the challenges that come with pursuing a doctorate, the ability to find humor in the process is a valuable skill that can help students navigate the ups and downs of academic life.

In the end, the world of academia is no stranger to the absurd and the comedic. PhD jokes provide a refreshing break from the intensity of research and writing, allowing individuals to laugh at the quirks and idiosyncrasies of academic life. These jokes serve as a reminder that even in the most challenging moments, there is always room for a bit of humor. Hillarious PhD jokes will continue to be shared among graduate students and academics as a way to bond over shared experiences and find solidarity in the pursuit of knowledge.

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77 phd jokes and hilarious phd puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about phd that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article contains hilarious jokes related to PHD. It includes bad PHD quotes from professors. Read to re-discover commonly used PHD acronyms like 'Pay Huge Dollars' and 'Push Harder, Dude'. Moreover, jokes related to economics, professors, and other research fields are also featured. Enjoy the funniest pieces of PHD-related humour!

• Short Phd Jokes

Phd One Liners

Phd degree jokes, earned phd jokes.

• More Phd Jokes

Funniest Phd Short Jokes

Short phd jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The phd humour may include short economics jokes also.

• My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes. We now call him Dr. Awkward.
• My friend told me, You have a Bachelor's, a Master's, and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot. That was a third degree burn.
• but I have a PhD... "Here's a broom go and sweep the floors." "But I have a PhD..." "Oh sorry, give me the broom, I'll show you how its done."
• What did the philosophy Ph.D say to the fat black woman? Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order?
• What do you call someone who does a BA in Arts, a MA in English and a PhD in Gender Studies? A well educated Barista
• I've been doing my psychology PhD thesis on the mental health and wellbeing of little people. After 4 long years and multiple studies, I've concluded... 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't Happy.
• To the woman I met in the bar last night who was mad at me this morning I never said I had a PhD in theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical PhD in physics.
• My friend said: You have a BA, a Masters and a PhD, but you still act like an idiot… It was a third degree burn.
• A father has 4 sons in his house. 3 have a PhD, but one is a robber. Why won't he kick out the robber? Because he's the only one making money
• "Here's a broom go and sweep the floors." "But I have a PhD..." "Oh sorry, give me the broom, I'll show you how its done."

Share These Phd Jokes With Friends

Which phd one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with phd? I can suggest the ones about professor and prof.

• My nerdy friend got a Ph.D on the History of palindrome . He's now Dr.Awkward.
• Why are black people unable to get a PhD? Because they can't get past their masters
• I recently received my PhD in palindromes. I now go by Dr. Awkward
• So my crush wants a guy with a phd And apparently that doesn't mean pretty huge debt
• What do call a fish with a Phd? A brain sturgeon.
• I'm like Dr. Strange without the PHD and magic cape. Strange...
• What did Dr. pepper earn his PhD in? Fizz-ics
• I asked my Indian father for a PS3 He said "No beta, it's pronounced PH.D."
• I have a phd A pretty huge...
• What does Dr. Pepper have his PhD in? Theoretical fizz-ics.
• Why couldn't the black man get a PhD? He couldn't get past his masters.
• Which field of study does Dr. Pepper have his PhD in? Fizzy-ology.
• So, you are watching a Christopher Nolan movie? Do you even have a PhD?
• My Starbucks barista thinks he's so smart just because he has a PhD in humanities.
• What is Doctor Pepper's PhD in? Particle Fizzics.

Here is a list of funny phd degree jokes and even better phd degree puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My friend said, You have a B.A., Master's, and a Ph.D., but you still act like an complete idiot. It was a third degree burn.
• How come there are only PHD and bachelor's degrees in Czechia? Because they have No Gods, No Masters.
• My friend said, You have a B.A., Master's, and a Ph.D, but you still act like a m**.... It was a third degree burn.
• Who called it phd and not 3rd degree t**...?

Here is a list of funny earned phd jokes and even better earned phd puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• How many millennials does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 100 99 to earn a PhD in electrical engineering and interview for the job, and one to agree to do it for the "experience".
• Did you hear about the man who earned his PhD in well drilling? He was well educated.

Related Comedy Topics

• mathematics
• theoretical

Unearthly Funniest Phd Jokes to Tickle Your Sides

What funny jokes about phd you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean university jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make phd pranks.

Two drunk people are sitting at a bar having an argument about Coronavirus.

The first one says "You're just trying to scare people. You don't know anything." The second replies, clearly fed up with the first, "I'm a doctor! I'm paid to know these things, I have a PhD and everything!" The first one slurs back, "Well ***I*** have a ***DhD.***" The second says, exasperated, "What the h**... is a DhD??" The first cackles, "You're some doc if you don't know what ADHD is!"

"My first son has a PHD in arts, my daughter has two degrees in communication and jornalism and my youngest son is a burglar."

Friend: "Wow a burglar? You should kick him out!" Dad: "Nah... he is the only one who makes money."

My career's in ruins!

A man walks into a bar and finds its patrons raucously celebrating with a young man standing on the bar shouting for more drinks, on him. He walks up to the bar and shouts to the young man, What's the occasion? My career's in ruins! the lad cackles. The man, shocked, replies, Then why the h**... are you celebrating? I've just completed my PhD in archaeology!

Why God never got a PhD

1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

What's the difference between a jungle cat who wrote his PhD thesis on the economic effects of taxation, and the order of insects that includes butterflies and moths?

One's a leopard doctor of tax economy, the other's a lepidopteral taxonomy

So, I have this friend who studied to become an egyptologist

The only way he can make a living is by becoming a PhD and teach others to become egyptologists. As far as I'm concerned, it is a pyramid scheme.

An Asian kid asks his mom

Mom, what does an Apple a day keeps the doctors away mean? Mom says, ah, my dear son, it means that if you play games on your Apple phone everyday, you will never get your PhD

Did you hear about the p**... with a PhD in Psychology?

She'll blow your mind.

Due to the size of my student loans for my phd I have debts no honest man could pay....

Luckily I'm a statistician.

A dishonest college graduate wrote PhD on his transcript

I guess you could say he doctored it

My brother just finished his doctorals

So he went to Starbucks to celebrate. The cashier said. "What would you like sir?" "I would like an espresso please" my brother replied. "Okay sir, I just need your name." The cashier said. "It's Stephen" My brother replied. "With a 'ph'?" The cashier asked. My brother then replied. "No, it's Stephen, with a PhD"

Did you know that Brian May, the guitarist from British rockband Queen, has a PhD on Astrophysics?

Yeah, he started his schooling before Queen formed, and achieved his PhD in 2007. One of his dissertations is heavily criticized by the science community though, and it's because he has an odd theory of what causes the Earth's rotation. You see, he thinks that 'Fat Bottomed Girls make the Rockin World go round.'

My PhD student claims to have made a breakthrough in hyperbolic mathematics

Turns out he was just exaggerating

After working long and hard for my PhD people finally recognize me..

As the neighborhood pizza Hut delivery guy now.

Become a PhD

After many years of studying at a university, I've finally become a PhD… or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it.

A friend of mine is really set on becoming the first emperor of Asia, He's pursuing a PhD in English Literature...

When I asked him why chose English Literature he said he wanted to be "a great reader".

I'm starting a charity for PhD students so they can finally afford to live on their own without the need for roommates...

It's called "Doctors without Boarders."

I once held a PHD in the field of literature

And then he asked me to put him down and pick up all the books I threw all over the grass

Educated Sons

1st son : Degree in Economics. 2nd son: MBA. 3rd son : PhD 4th son : Thief Neighbour: Why can't you throw the 4th son out of your house? Father : He is the only one earning money. The rest are unemployed.

I've decided to get a PhD in how much soda you should have for the end of the world.

Dr. Prepper, at your service.

An awkward friend of mine just finished his PhD in palindrome theory..

Now he's Dr. Awkward.

A nerdy friend of mine just got his Ph.D. on the history of palindromes.

He is now Dr. Awkward.

Where did the microbiologist go after receiving his PhD?

...to a cell-laboratory gathering

I tell my dates I have a PhD in s**... talk.

They are not as impressed when learning my dissertation was on the "effects of female ultrasonic vocalization on male impotence in rats"

My friend has a PhD in s**... deviancy

She can talk about a**... asphyxiation until she's blue in the face!

My friend has a PHD.

Even though he only has a Public Highschool Diploma, he has been living a pretty happy life. Side note: My father loves to make this joke, so I had to share.

there was a suspicion of university diploma forgery

There was a suspicion of university diploma forgery. The police went to investigate that. "There was no proof that any crime was commited," said the police officer, John Brown J.D., M.D., B.D., Ph.D.

How do you make a venetian blind?

Poke his eyes out Credits go to my 90 year old grandfather, currently completing his PhD

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The impact of these phd jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.

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If You've Ever Struggled With A PhD, You're Going To Find These 41 Memes Hilarious

"Wanna hear a research joke, or not et al.?"

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PhD Memes About Research Life | High Impact PhD memes

ilovephd phd memes

Explore the world of “High Impact PhD Memes,” where humor meets academia. This collection of memes delves into the unique challenges and relatable moments of the PhD journey. From battling writer’s block to celebrating small victories, these memes capture the essence of research life. Join fellow doctoral candidates in sharing a laugh and finding solace in shared experiences. Get ready to dive into the comical side of academia!

Check this impact meme, interesting and funny PhD memes about research life from iLovePhD Memes Facebook Page

This is how I Run my PhD Life with Research Problems and Life Problems

Research Gap Identified

A Night Before Thesis Defense

When My Supervisor Shouts At Me

Position to Read Article in PDF

References and Review Paper

I heard he’s doing PhD in stress management

ILovePhD’s Meme Presented in the Final Thesis Defense

How deadlines chsing me

Motivation During First and Final year of the PhD

Can you Proof Read my Article

Cofee with First Publication Motivate a lot

Ph.D. Couple Goals | We Love PhD

Forget Princess I Want to be a Scientist – PhD Memes

Difference between First and Fifth year in LAB

PhD Scholar after Thesis Defence

Graphical Abstract vs. Abstract – PhD Memes

Welcome to PhD – Memes

When you notice people reading your research work but no one citing it.

Where is the novelty

PhD advisor before and after PhD admission

What if someone had published your idea

Eat and Innovate

Difference between Theory and Practice

Procrastination to write a research paper

Advisor with new project ideas

What I am doing in Life | Why I joined PhD

Show the difference between existing vs proposed work

Before deadline vs after deadline

When your experiment gives outstanding result but you don’t know how

The idea of graduating and having to write my thesis

When scholar says he/she will submit manuscript draft tomorrow, but it’s been 6 months now

When everything is going wring in your life but you’re used to it

Study vs Stress Meme

Lab on Sunday

When you start thinking about your research during dinner

“High Impact PhD Memes” offers a humorous and relatable glimpse into the world of research and academia. These memes resonate with the experiences of doctoral candidates, highlighting the challenges, victories, and moments of camaraderie that define the PhD journey. As we explore this collection, it becomes evident that humor can be a powerful tool for coping with the rigors of research life. So, whether you’re in the midst of your own PhD adventure or simply curious about the world of academia, these memes provide a lighthearted and insightful perspective that brings a smile to your face and a sense of connection to the scholarly community.

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68 College Jokes That Prove Higher Learning Is Hilarious

You don’t have to have a college degree to find higher learning hilarious. There’s something universally relatable (and comical) about college students, dorm life, and everything else that’s wrapped up in getting an undergrad education. You’ve got your eccentric teachers . Everyone’s on a Ramen noodle diet . Students go to school in their PJs. The colleges jokes basically write themselves, don’t you think? And hey, it’s healthy to be able to laugh about it after the fact. Otherwise, your student loans might reduce you to tears.

RELATED: These College Supplies Are So Genius, You May Just Want Them For Yourself

So, if you are a college grad yourself, the following 60+ jokes and puns will probably make you look back on your college years and laugh your head off.

• How do you know that you have been in college too long?

Your parents are running out of money!

• Why did the sun skip college?

It already has a million degrees.

• What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
• If pilgrims traveled on the Mayflower, what do college students travel on?

Scholar-ships.

• College student: Hey, Dad — I’ve got some great news for you!

Father: What, son? College student: Remember that $500 you promised me if I made the Dean’s list? Father: I certainly do. College student: Well, you get to keep it!

• Professor: Why do pimples make horrible prisoners?

Because they keep breaking out!

• A new student at Harvard stopped an upperclassman and asked, “Where’s the library at?”

The upperclassman said, “Never end a sentence with a preposition. Cops do it on TV, but it isn’t proper, so to speak.” The new student said, “Pardon me. Where’s the library at, MORON?”

• A history professor and a psychology professor were sitting outside at a nudist colony. The history professor asked: “Have you read Marx?” The psychology professor replied: “Yes. I think it’s from the wicker chairs.”
• What do you call hiking U.S. college students?

The walking debt.

• My local college has a program that lets students earn their tuition by working in the on-campus bakery.

The opportunity isn’t open to everyone. It’s run on a strictly knead-to-know basis.

• I think college athletes should get paid to play sports .

Except Tennessee. They’re Volunteers.

• When I told my family I graduated from clown college…

They all laughed at me.

• Employer: Forget everything you learned in college. You won’t need it working here.

Potential employee: I never went to college. Employer: Oh, sorry. Unfortunately, you’re not qualified to work here.

• Two high school graduates are discussing their future college plans.

The first says, “I’m planning on going into farming. It’s what my father did and it makes good money.” The second asks, “What type of farming? Wheat, corn, livestock?” “I don’t know, man; there are so many fields to choose from,” the third responds.

• A buddy of mine went to college, majored in veterinary medicine, and minored in taxidermy. “Either way you’re getting your dog back,” he says.
• What is a Gen Z’ers favorite college?
• What do you call a test tube with a college degree?

A graduated cylinder.

• My wife was disappointed to find out the real reason why my nickname in college was “The Love Machine.”

It’s because I sucked at tennis.

• In college, I was so broke I couldn’t pay the electricity bill.

Those were the darkest days of my life.

• My old girlfriend wanted me to do her college algebra homework for her.

But frankly, I didn’t want to solve for ex.

• A college professor was very worried about his recent study on earthquakes.

It turns out his findings were on shaky ground.

• My dad told me that colleges are cracking down on ghost-written essays?

I asked, “What about mummy-written essays?”

• Why did the music note drop out of college?

Because it couldn’t pick a major.

• What did Chuck Norris tell his father when he left for college?

“You’re the man of the house now.”

• The dean of a college told the auditorium, “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?” At this, a student in the crowd raised their hand and asked, “Er… how much for a season pass?”
• How many graduate students does it take to change a light bulb ?

Only one, but it may take them more than five years to do it.

• An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school . “Tell me,” inquired the interviewer, “where do you expect to be ten years from now?”

“Well, let’s see,” replied the student. “It’s Wednesday afternoon. I guess I’ll be on the golf course by now.”

• All the fraternity brothers left the house for a long weekend except for Grady, who decided to stay behind and get some studying done. One night Grady heard a noise under his bed. Fearing it might be a burglar, he leaned over and whispered, “Anybody there?”

“No,” said the burglar. “That’s funny,” the boy said to himself. “I could have sworn I heard a noise!”

• A young man was putting himself through college as a waiter. When he gave one diner the bill, the diner asked, “What is the usual tip?”

“Well, this is my first day here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great,” the college student replied. “Is that so?” snorted the diner. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.” “Thanks!” replied the student. “I’ll put this in my school fund.” “What are you studying?” asked the diner. The student smiled and said, “Applied psychology.”

• A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination. On the paper, there was a single line that simply said, “Is this a question? — Discuss.”

After a short time, he wrote, “If that is a question, then this is an answer.” The student received an “A” on the exam.

• One day a college professor, after getting irritated in his college class, stands up in front of the class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot and, if there is one, then they should stand up.

After a minute, a young man stands up. The professor then asks that guy if he actually thinks he is an idiot. The boy replied, “No, I just didn’t want to see you standing there all by yourself.”

• What is the definition of an optimist?

A college student who opens his wallet and expects to find money.

• A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day.

“In English, a double negative forms a positive,” he said. “In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language where a double positive can form a negative.” A voice from the back of the room said, “Yeah, right.”

• How did the fraternity brother get a bump on his head?

He was attempting a keg stand.

• A professor has a classroom filled with students about to take a philosophy finale. The only question on the test is, “Why?” All of the students begin to write feverishly. One student, however, writes, “Why not?” and leaves. The professor instantly give him an “A.”
• What is the best way to save money during college?

Use Happy Hour as your main dining option.

• Two parents were talking one day and asked the other what their son was taking in college. The one replied, “He’s taking every penny I have!”
• Astronomy professor: What causes a half-moon?

College student: When you can’t get your jeans over your thighs.

• What’s the difference between an American student and an English student?

About 3,000 miles.

• What do you get if you cross a student and an alien?

Something from another universe-ity.

• Chemistry professor: Now, class, here I have a beaker of H2SO4, and here I have a gold ring. Suppose I drop the ring into the sulphuric acid. Will the gold dissolve?

Student: No. Professor: Good. And will you please tell us why not? Student: If it would dissolve, you wouldn’t put it in.

• In a way, colleges and insane asylums are both mental institutions. The major difference being you have to show some improvement to “graduate” an asylum.
• A student comes back to the dorm & finds his roommate near tears.

“What’s the matter, pal?” he asked. “I wrote home for my parents to send money so that I could buy a laptop, and they sent me the laptop,” he moaned.

• A father, passing through the son’s college town late one night on a business trip, thought he would pay a surprise visit to the boy. Arriving at the fraternity house, he knocked on the door. After several minutes of knocking, a sleepy voice drifted down from a second-floor window.

“Whattya want?” “Does Jimmy Duncan live here?” asked the father. “Yeah!” replied the voice. “Dump him on the front porch and we’ll take care of him in the morning.”

• “How’s your song doing? Is he one of the bright young men in this area that is going to college on a scholarship?”

“No. He’s going to college on a second mortgage.”

• A woman called the dean of the college that her freshman son was going to.

“I’m worried. I don’t know who my son can hang out with. He doesn’t have the kind of money all the other students have.” The dean replied, “Well then, he can hang out with the faculty.”

• What did the music thief do in college?

Take notes.

• What do you call a hotdog in college?

A FRAT-wurst.

• What do cats major in college?

String theory!

50. How many fraternity brothers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That’s what pledges are for.

51. I want to reenact a scene from Fifty Shades of Grey . You know the one where she gets a job straight out of college?

52. High school graduates: You’ve just sat in a chair for 4 years. How would you like to do that again, but this time you pay for it?

53. When I was in college, my roommate used to clean my room and I used to clean hers.

We were maid for each other.

54. What form of art is very popular among college kids?

Ramen doodles.

55. My college roommate was obsessed with trying to discover the largest known prime number.

I wonder what he’s up to now.

56. In college, I lived on a houseboat and started seeing the girl next door.

Eventually, we drifted apart.

57. Thank you, student loans, for getting me through college.

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to repay you.

58. I can’t remember what I majored in at college.

I skipped classes to some degree.

59. In 2020, I’m finally making use of my college degree. What was it?

Mask communications.

60. I was so broke in college that I sometimes had to choose between laundry detergent and breakfast.

It was All or muffin.

61. Why do sorority girls walk in groups of three or five?

Because they ‘can’t even!

62. As a college girl, I never understood the whole Sorority thing

It’s all Greek to me.

63. I decided to surprise my parents by visiting from college unannounced — only to find out they’d taken a vacation and not left the keys behind. Not a problem, though, all I have to do is talk to the door lock.

They always told me “communication is the key.”

64. My college roommate was obsessed with trying to discover the largest known prime number.

I wonder what he is up to now.

65. What did the buffalo say when his kid left for college

66. I’ve been friends with a small group of fellow chemistry majors since college.

I guess you could say we developed strong bonds.

67. Why do encyclopedias make such bad neighbors?

They have so many volumes.

68. What did the fashion design student have to do when she missed her final exam?

Take a makeup exam.

This article was originally published on November 19, 2019