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Growing Up Without a Father: How it Has Affeted My Life

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Home — Essay Samples — Business — Family Business — Life Without a Father

Life Without a Father

Categories: Family Business

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Published: Mar 20, 2024

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Impact on childhood development, challenges faced by single-parent families, long-term consequences.

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The Impact of Growing up Without a Father

How to fill in the gaps and build healthy relationships. three strategies to follow..

Aliona Lyubimova

Invisible Illness

I never knew my Father.

I never saw his photo, never heard his voice.

He never carried me on his shoulders, never kissed me goodnight coming late from work, never told my future husband he would rip his head off if I ever cry, he never walked me down the aisle. He never told me how proud he was when I got my Masters, drivers licence, first job, second job, when I launched my startup. He never hugged me or kissed me.

The only thing I ever heard about him was that he had passed away. Hence, I have never had a chance neither to say hello, nor to cry out my goodbye .

Psychological side-effects of an absent father are depression, suicide, eating disorders, obesity, early sexual activity, addiction-formation, and difficulty building and holding on to loving relationships. wehavekids.com

By now, you probably think that I’m living a sad, fatherless life. Surprisingly, not the case.

Even though I felt certain discomfort comparing myself to other kids who had fathers, I was growing as a normal, strong and self-reliant person. I actually felt that something was missing only when I was pointed at it by other people by the incident. Thankfully, I have never felt excluded or laughed at.

My Mother worked hard to give me the best life and best possible education, she was the biggest supporter in my life. You must be wondering, why am I writing about it at all?

Even though I consider my life as a really good one, I still have a question — would it be better if I ever had a father?

For many years I kept asking myself — is it essential to have one, is something wrong with me now, will I be able to have a good family, with the kids and backyard and a dog? Well, maybe I do not have a backyard and a dog because of that? Maybe I grew up into a goal achiever because of my insecurities? Maybe I tend to overthink things because I didn’t get enough support when I needed it most?

What is missing, what difference it can make?

There are a lot of people like me, according to the statistics. Therefore, my biggest question always was — what are we missing, what difference it would make if we had a chance to have relationships with the father?

And what can we do to fill in this gap, if we ever could?

How bad is it to be fatherless

Various psychological studies suggest that it is very unlucky to be fatherless. Scientists proved that it affects a person negatively in multiple areas of personal life and well-being:

mental health
family relationships
labour market outcomes.

Which is true statistically. But I personally believe that sometimes it is much better to grow up without a father, if he is violent, bad-tempered, criminal, or if he is generally not a good person.

It is essential and beneficial to have a good father as portrayed in the movies, books or our own imagination. But in reality most of the time we are fatherless for a reason — our benefit, our strength and our future.

If we think more in-depth about these statistics, it’s easy to see why fatherless children are disadvantaged. Obviously, it is tough to raise a kid (or a few). Therefore, a single mother has to be both for a child — a father and a mother. Plus, if a father is fully absent, she has to make money to feed herself and her children. Therefore, it is a common sense that she has much fewer resources. She cannot spend enough time with her kids for their adequate development.

So, it is not only about a particular person in our life who is missing, but also about a lack of the time and resources that a single mother could experience . Most of the time, mothers make this choice for kids’ as well as her own benefit.

From the experience

My mother worked hard to make a living for the family. She also had my grandmother and my grandfather in their 80’s to take care. Of course, I missed her while she was taking shifts and teaching private lessons in the afternoon, but at the same time, I was very proud of her. She did everything possible to raise me as a self-reliant and happy person.

I choose to think that I am fatherless for the best. It was always lovely to think of my father as a decent person, idealise him in any possible way. But also, I have enough wisdom to realise that realistically he could be bad-tempered, aggressive or even violent.

Because we never know.

We do not choose our fathers, at least not if we talk from a scientific point of view. This is the way it happens for us.

Moreover, at some point, it became my strength . I felt like I had to learn how to survive if I would end up single, especially with a child. It influenced many of my choices. I became more goal-oriented, mature, capable of making my life the way I want.

Even though I still feel sometimes that I need that wise advice of a father , I always try to think that I have enough wisdom in my heart and soul, and just keep going.

Let’s dive into coping strategies that I would like to share.

Closing the gaps

Unfortunately, I came across a few things that I had a hard time with due to being fatherless. As you could guess, romantic relationships are the first major one and self-esteem is the last but not least .

It was tricky for me to find a partner until I’ve figured out how relationships actually work. Lower self-esteem contributed to that problem.

For many years I’ve been looking at romantic relationships as is they were not for me, but for some other people who were lucky enough to grow with a father. I still have no idea how to flirt, how to attract attention, or even how to make friends with men. I still feel quite awkward when someone expresses interest. Only my passion for psychology and self-help encouraged me to search for tools and solutions on how to close the gaps.

So, I have developed a few strategies that helped me a lot. Therefore, I would like to share them with you.

1. Surround yourself with men

It does not matter what gender you are, you have to be among men to observe the behaviour, how they walk and talk, to understand how men’s world works. Through the actual contact, you can learn how to communicate, how to read their reactions and emotions, and, most importantly, you will eliminate fears associated with men. Do it until you get comfortable. This strategy will give you invaluable experience in understanding men’s behaviour.

Even if you don’t feel like joining a Fishing Club, Martial Arts School or Coding Bootcamp, make a commitment to do so. Soon, you will see how life is changing for you. You will feel not only relaxed and aware of the men’s world, but also content and self-assured in life in general.

What have I done? Firstly, I intuitively jumped into the male-dominated industry for my career, secondly, for many years, I’ve been doing Martial Arts, like Aikido, Jiu-jitsu, Wushu. Lastly, I did quite a few years of ballroom dancing, in which dance represents the love between two people. Tango is my favourite.

2. Create an image of your father

Relationships between your mother and your father is a wire-frame for your future relationships. Therefore, if you lack a father, you are missing on an image that you need to have for your own relationships to work.

This can be fixed by designing an image of your father in your head. This is a powerful technique, so, I advise you to do it in a few steps.

Create a list of qualities of your father that you would like him to have. Is he caring, honest, loving, smart, helpful, cheerful. Put all the qualities that you would like him to have.
Imagine how he looks if you do not know that. If you do, use the photo you have of him, or vision that lives in your head.
Try to talk to this person in a way you would like it to be. What questions would you like to ask what help do you need from him?
Look for inspiration in the movies, shows, books or in real life.

What have I done — I created a list of qualities, I chose an actor I like and was trying to talk to him if I had difficulties in life that I needed to discuss. In the end, I met my future husband with the same set of qualities.

3. Learn to behave differently

As I am a woman, it is easier for me to talk from a female perspective, but I guess for males, it would work similarly. I will speak only about my own experience and thoughts here, as the content could be sensitive.

At one point in my life, I have noticed that my behaviour is different from those who have fathers. It came out very naturally, through clothes, actions and choices I was making.

I was a bit more unisex, if I may put it like that.

Eventually, I came to a realisation that if I want to date men, I have to look and act like a woman. So that at least they could recognise me as the opposite sex. I came to this idea when I was looking through a magazine at the dentist clinic. I thought “Why I never buy magazines like that? What’s actually inside of it?”. It was Cosmopolitan, of course.

So, I went home, reviewed my clothes, accessories, and went shopping with my very feminine friend. She helped me to choose more female looking clothes, and this is how I became a female, not only on the inside.

I have noticed the immediate improvement of my perception of femininity and masculinity. At first, I felt quite uncomfortable, but soon I have realised that this is not about gender roles, but about essential feminine behaviour I have not learned in my childhood as a fatherless kid.

I must admit that yes, there is a difference between those people who have fathers and those who have not , especially in early age. But, this difference is not necessarily a bad thing. We came to this world to learn from this experience; we can absolutely live a fulfilled, happy life.

Thank you for reading! I hope you found it useful; if you have similar experiences, and you are comfortable sharing them, please do so in the comments.

Written by Aliona Lyubimova

Psychotherapist. Personal Blog. My Thoughts on Clinical Aspects of Mental Health. https://strongmindhypnosis.com/

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Self-Esteem

Fatherless daughters: the impact of absence, a daughter’s sense of self may be shaped by what a father is not able to give..

Posted May 26, 2023 | Reviewed by Davia Sills

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While most research focuses on the impact of mothering on children, fathers play an important role too.
From self-confidence to relationships, fathers have a particularly strong influence on daughters.
Even if a father is physically present, his emotional absence can negatively affect a daughter into adulthood.

Source: Museo de Bellas Artes de Bilbao / Public Domain

One summer day, when I was nine, I came in from playing jump rope, discovered my father unconscious in his chair, and thought he was dead. He survived another 20 years, but for the rest of my childhood and early adulthood, I lived with the fear of losing him. The possibility that, at any moment, I might suddenly be a fatherless daughter shaped the woman I would become.

Mothers and mothering occupy a lot of space in psychological literature, but the role fathers play in a daughter’s development does not get equal attention . The National Initiative for Fatherhood, the nation's leading provider of research on evidence-based fatherhood programs and resources, reports that according to the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2022 data, one in four children in this country lives in a home without a biological, step, or adoptive father. Their research indicates that children raised in a father-absent home face a four times greater risk of poverty, are more likely to have behavioral problems, are at two times greater risk of infant mortality, are more likely to go to prison, commit crimes, become a pregnant teen , abuse drugs or alcohol , drop out of school.[1]

Daughters growing up without a father face specific challenges. Fathers influence their daughters' relational lives, creativity , sense of authority, self-confidence , and self-esteem . Her relationship to her sexuality and response to men will in part be determined by her father’s comfort or discomfort with her gender and her body, starting at birth. (This post addresses one’s personal or biological father. The capacity for “fathering” is not based on anatomy, nor is it gender-specific.)

Contes et Légendes Mythologiques, published by Émile Genest and Nathan / Public Domain

In post-modern societies, both parents may contribute to the family’s financial stability, or the mother may be the primary wage earner. However, through the lens of patriarchal values, a father is a failure if he cannot provide for and protect his family. Fairytales convey societal and psychological truths in magical settings, and many of the most popular tales— Cinderella, Rapunzel, Rumpelstiltskin, Snow White —depict the reality of inadequate, neglectful, or harmful fathers.

The story of Hansel and Gretel portrays the quintessential feckless father. He can neither provide for his family nor stand up to his wife’s cruel demands. Instead, he succumbs to her insistence that they leave their children in the woods to die so that they, the parents, can have enough to eat.

Why does the father disappear after the first page in some tales as if his relevance hardly matters? In real life, though, we know that an absent father is a haunting presence for his daughter. She will wonder why he left, why he has abandoned her, and if she did something to cause him to disappear. She will look for him in the men in her life or perhaps choose men who are the opposite of her father.

Source: 'The Girl Without Hands' / Dover Publications / Public Domain

One positive outcome for fatherless daughters is hinted at in some fairy tales, as in The Girl Without Hands . The story recounts the survival challenges faced by a daughter who flees the father who maimed her. With no father and no sympathetic maternal figure to rely on, the heroine undergoes a self-revelatory process. In undertaking a series of impossible tasks, she discovers her moral and emotional strength, her courage and inner authority. She survives and thrives.

Psychotherapist Susan Schwartz has written extensively about the wounds daughters suffer from inadequate or harmful fathers. In The Absent Father Effect on Daughters: Father Desire, Father Wounds , she notes that fathers often have difficulty relating to a daughter’s emotional life. Even if the father is physically present, the daughter may feel unseen and unknown and will take on the burden of this failure as her own. She will feel a lack in herself. She may also strive to fulfill her father’s expectations in sports, in scholarship, in financial success, or she may try to fill his emptiness, his depression , with her own energy. Dr. Schwartz describes how a father’s wounds can depotentiate a daughter’s capacity to use her energy for herself, which can compromise her ability to focus and value who she is.[2]

Author Patricia Reis’s book Daughters of Saturn: From Father’s Daughter to Creative Woman is part memoir about her father, part analysis of the father-daughter relationship. She finds Freud ’s theory that the meaning in life is found in work and love too reductive. For women, she says, another dimension must be added. That question is “Whom do I serve?”—self or other.

“It is not enough to claim our power as women: we must be able to use our powers consciously, knowing where and how our energy is spent, on what, on whom, for what purpose—both in work and in relationships.” [3]

To be a fatherless daughter is to feel abandoned by a paternal figure, emotionally, physically, or both. A father may be absent from the home for reasons beyond his control. The list of reasons is extensive, and each situation impacts a daughter differently. Illness and death may burden her with additional grief , while military service, deportation, adoption , incarceration, divorce , or disinterest will have their own effects. A father who is physically present but emotionally distant, manipulative, abusive, or depressed also sets up a daughter for psychological distress. Her sense of herself, her ambition, her independence, and her trust of the world will be shaped by her relationship with her father.

Fathers who long to have a deeper relationship with their daughters might ask themselves: What is my daughter trying to tell me about herself? What does she want me to see? How can I be more curious about her and her experience in the world? And they might ask their daughters, “How can I be more attentive?”

[1] “ The Statistics Don't Lie: Fathers Matter ,” The National Fatherhood Initiative

[2] Schwartz, Susan, The Absent Father Effect on Daughters: Father Desire, Father Wounds. Routledge, 2020

[3] Reis, Patricia, Daughters of Saturn: From Father’s Daughter to Creative Woman. Continuum International Publishing Group, 1995, Preface pp xiii-xix.

Dale M. Kushner, MFA , explores the intersection of creativity, healing, and spirituality in her writing: her poetry collection M ; novel, The Conditions of Love ; and essays, including in Jung’s Red Book for Our Time .

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The Opinion Pages

When children are better off fatherless.

Michele Weldon , an assistant professor of journalism at Northwestern University, is the author of “ I Closed My Eyes: Revelations of a Battered Woman ” and the forthcoming memoir “Escape Points.”

Updated June 3, 2013, 8:25 PM

The 24 million American sons and daughters growing up without fathers are not all doomed. Nor are the children of lesbian parents. Nor the children whose fathers were killed in the line of duty as policemen, firemen, soldiers. Nor the children who have lost fathers to disease, accidents or suicide. Our society must be careful not to assume these sons and daughters are damned.

In the cases where the father is far from heroic – even abusive – his absence is also the absence of the chaos, anger, pain and disruption he would bring to his family. Americans encourage women to leave abusive partners, but mothers who do this end up in a class we shame and pity. The government itself sends the message that children are better off with a father. The reality is, many children are better off without their fathers.

The government itself sends the message that children need their fathers. But sometimes the absence is an improvement.

Michael Lamb, a Cambridge psychologist, wrote in 2010 , “We think it is misguided to see increased paternal involvement as a universally desirable goal.” Certainly it is optimal to have two parents who love and nurture their children, but rather than insist that all men can be good fathers, we should fill the lives of children with love and support from untraditional directions.

In the 2013 book “ Fathers in Cultural Context ,” Joseph Pleck of the University of Illinois writes: “The notion that fathering is essential to children’s social and personality development seems to be a uniquely American preoccupation. Current research actually provides little support for … this popular conception of paternal essentiality.”

The myth is personal to my family, because I raised my sons as a single mother. And they are not doomed because of that. Now men at 24, 22 and 19, I talk to them about successful men who have grown up without a father: President Obama and Bill Clinton, for two easy examples. I could also mention Aristotle, John Hancock, Gerald Ford, Thomas Jefferson, Frederick Douglas, Stephen King and a fraternity of other historical heroes … but I don’t want to overdo it.

In time for Father’s Day movie bonding, Will Smith stars in “After Earth” with his real-life son, Jaden. But a 1994 episode of “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” shows a much younger Will Smith in a scene that is more real to many American boys. The Smith character’s father runs out on a promise to take his son on a trip, and Smith shouts: “I’m gonna get through college without him. I’m gonna get a great job without him and marry me a beautiful honey and have me a whole bunch of kids. And I’m gonna be a better father than he ever was.” And then he chokes, “How come he don’t want me, man?”

I know there is no possible answer to that question. But I also know it is time to stop damning the children who need to ask.

Join Opinion on Facebook and follow updates on twitter.com/roomfordebate .

Topics: children , gender , parenting

Fathers Need Their Children

Fathers Are Not Fungible

What are fathers for, it doesn’t have to be ‘one man, one woman’.

Mom and Dad Fill Different Roles

Valuable, but Not Indispensable

Behind the Data

When Children Are Better Off Fatherless

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in: Fatherhood , People

Brett & Kate McKay • June 17, 2009 • Last updated: June 6, 2021

6 Lessons I Learned About Being a Man from Growing Up Fatherless

Editor’s note: Today we finish up our run of father-themed posts with an article from a different perspective. While having an awesome dad can help you become an awesome man, growing up fatherless can also motivate you to become better than your dad was. Andrew Galasetti used his less then perfect childhood as a springboard into honorable manliness.

Mr. Galasetti is an entrepreneur and the main writer of Lyved.com a blog focusing on various aspects of life and living it to the fullest. Lyved has published a number of popular articles which you may view here.

Like millions of people, I grew up in a single parent household. My mother divorced my father before I was in kindergarten. My father was a drug user and drinker, beat my mom often, and generally made her life a living hell. After they divorced, my older sister and I would still visit with our father on weekends. But as we grew older, he slowly drifted away from us, until one day, he packed up all his belongings and moved to another state without even a “goodbye.” I was about 10 years old at the time.

From then on we never heard from him, not even with a simple birthday card. It’s been over a decade since he left, so for the majority of the crucial developmental times of my youth, I had no father.

As we all know, growing up in a single-parent household means that the children are more likely to live close or at the poverty line while the parent tries to make ends meet. This is very difficult for everyone, and growing up fatherless brings its own set of difficulties for boys.

The statistics about single-parent households make you believe that every boy who grows up with one parent ends up on drugs, unsuccessful, and in prison, but that’s simply not true. Because of growing up fatherless, I have stayed away from destructive activity and crime and have instead moved into being a successful entrepreneur and towards a mission of changing millions of lives in a positive way.

I was taught a lot of things about being a man from growing up fatherless. Here are 6 lessons that I learned:

#1 Having a child makes you a father but not a “dad”

“What’s the difference?” you might be asking. Well, a father is a proper term for a male that produces a child. But in the eyes of a kid, a father is a “dad” or “daddy.” It’s a name that has to be earned; earned by being supportive of your child both financially and mentally. You don’t become a “dad” without working hard for it or without being there whenever your kids need you.

#2: A man needs to be self-sufficient

Don’t depend on someone else or a trust fund for your well-being and livelihood. At any moment, either could disappear from your life. I was fortunate to realize at an early age that no one is going to hand me my dreams or what I need in life, and that I need to go out there and capture it myself.

Since we live in modern times we aren’t required to farm and hunt to survive on our own. Self-sufficiency is different; it’s now more about thriving as a man than just surviving. These days we can gain self-suficency by doing things like:

Gaining a varied education

Be open-minded to various cultures, subjects, views, and people. The more things you experience and the more subjects you are knowledgeable about, the more situations you can handle. Seek valuable skills that will make you an asset to employers and communities.

Not letting fear stop you

Fear is probably the biggest obstacle for most people. It keeps us from success, keeps us from getting what we need, and it keeps us dependent on other people.

#3: Becoming a man doesn’t come with age

Though the law considers any male 18 and over as a “man,” a boy becomes a true man through experiences and by learning from those experiences. Sometimes this can take years past the age of 18 to happen.

Through experience a boy becomes a man by:

Taking ownerships of failure
Letting go of stubbornness and accepting lessons
Knowing how to handle challenging situations and fixing their incorrect reactions and attitudes
Learning more about themselves

#4: Blaze your own path instead of following someone’s footsteps

I can’t understand why so many young men decide to do exactly what their fathers did with their lives. You may be thinking that it’s easy for me to say this because all I had to aspire to was becoming a drinker, drug user, and abusive deadbeat. But besides that, my father did work; he did construction and odd jobs. That’s a common career that sons decide to pursue because their fathers did.

Any work is worthy work and if what your dad does or did really is your passion too, then that’s great. But for me, I wanted something different, something more exciting and something that had never been done before. Here’s a great quote that makes you rethink following so closely in someone’s footsteps:

We are not here to do what has already been done. – Robert Henri

Men go down the path less-traveled and never traveled.

#5: Mental strength is often more necessary than physical

No matter how strong my father is physically, mentally he is weak. He didn’t have the conviction to be a dad. If you want to be a man of great courage and accomplishment, it isn’t going to happen just by hitting the gym and lifting weights. A courageous man stands up for the weak, stands up for what he believes in, faces fear, failure, and criticism. He’s not afraid of responsibility and seeing things through to the end.

#6: Your father doesn’t need to be your father figure

If you have a father who’s incarcerated, or who left you, or who didn’t have much success in life, look for a father figure in someone else. Every man needs a father figure, even far into adulthood. You don’t even need to know him personally, and he doesn’t even need to be alive. Most successful men leave a legacy and lessons behind, whether in a book or video. You can then read, watch, and practice their advice; just like any other father figure. My four most influential father-like figures are Chris Gardner , Andrew Carnegie, Richard Branson, and Randy Pausch .

In addition to studying the lives of great men, seek the companionship and camaraderie of male friends. As Wayne has said, as you open up to these men, they can become “father figures” to you as well.

What a man is and what a man isn’t

So growing up in a fatherless home is something that I’m now proud of experiencing. It has made the line between a boy and a man much clearer for me.

For a quick synopsis and a few more lessons, here is a list of what I learned a man isn’t and what a man is from growing up fatherless:

A man isn’t :

Someone who runs from his responsibilities
A person who makes excuses
A person who strikes a woman
A man through age – a boy grows into a man through experience
Someone who stands up for something they believe in, even when they’re fearful
A person who creates a new path
Open-minded
A “dad” when he earns it

A man wearing a hat, surrounded by the right kind of people.

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Life Without a Father

In 2001, Regina R. Robertson hated her day job, so she was very thankful (and relieved) when she was ultimately fired. She also felt free to pursue a new path, as a writer. Having begun her career in the music industry, she contacted some of her former colleagues for help. She started out by writing artist bios and press releases. Within a year, she was meeting with magazine editors, including one who told her to “write what you know.”

Robertson’s first national assignment led her to interview three friends, whose names she changed, and write a piece about their experiences of life growing up without a father. After “Where’s Daddy?” ran in the October 2002 issue of Honey magazine, she received calls from other friends who asked why she hadn’t thought to include them in the article. At that point, Robertson had the first thought of writing a book on the topic.

Over the last 15 years, and while enduring rejection from agents and publishers, she spoke with many women who had stories to share.

Robertson decided to focus her book on three areas of father absence: divorce, death and distance.

“Throughout the years, I’ve interviewed a lot of people, but writing these kinds of personal stories was quite different from writing celebrity profiles or entertainment features,” says Robertson, who has served as West Coast editor of Essence magazine since 2006. “When I spoke with friends about the project, some suggested that I try reaching out to women like fitness expert, Gabrielle Reece, and MSNBC host, Joy-Ann Reid, both of whom had grown up without their fathers. I wasn’t opposed to the idea, but I thought I’d have to cut through layers and layers of the red tape to reach them. Thankfully, that wasn’t the case.”

Robertson not only got through to those women, but they, and others, were very excited to share their stories.

Her book is called He Never Came Home: Interviews, Stories, and Essays from Daughters on Life Without Their Fathers (Agate Bolden).

“I can’t believe it,” Robertson says. “This project has been such a labor of love and so far, the response has been phenomenal.”

“One young woman, Nisa Rashid, shares her story of growing up while her father was in prison. Television writer, Jenny Lee, writes about her father’s suicide*, when she was 20. Simone I. Smith, a jewelry designer, talks about her relationship with her late father – a loving, though troubled, man who battled addiction. Reid, who shared her story on Facebook after her father passed away, signed on to write foreword.”

For Emmy-winning actress, Regina King, witnessing her parents’ divorce was very painful, as was her father’s eventual estrangement. Years later, after enduring her own divorce, she realized that she and her ex-husband were not connecting as co-parents. Eventually, the pair agreed that being divided wasn’t healthy for their son. As a result, they began to take the necessary steps to work together and redefine their family.

Sarah Tomlinson, author of Good Girl , also contributes to the book. She gives a raw account of her lifelong quest for a relationship with her father and her own self-destructive behavior. Tomlinson titled her essay, “The Girl at the Window,” which references the place she sat and waited, for hours, on the days he promised to visit.

Robertson even shares her own story about never knowing her father.

“Usually, when I sit down to write, I agonize over every detail. When I wrote the introduction to the book, I was surprised by how quickly the words came to me: My mother raised me on her own, from day one. She’s the only parent I’ve ever had. My father was never in the picture – not for one second, minute or hour. I never met him. There were times when I wondered how a man could leave his family, his kid, and not look back, but I didn’t obsess over my father’s absence. I definitely thought about it, though.”

Robertson is happy and surprised by the way He Never Came Home has already touched people. She hopes her book will help others know they are not alone.

“I hope I’ve written and edited the book that I wished I’d had as a teen,” Robertson shares. “This collection of essays is for all of the fatherless girls and women who’ve ever thought, as I once did, that a piece of them was missing. Life has taught me that no matter the circumstances you’re born into, you are responsible for steering your ship. If I can do it, you can, too . . . and you will. It just takes time.”

*If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, there are a number of websites and organizations with excellent resources for you. HelpGuide is a great place to start, along with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

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My story growing up without a father, losing your father at a young age is a battle you have to face everyday for the rest of your life..

Some of us did not get lucky enough to grow up with a father around. Some fathers may have died, abandoned their families, etc. Whatever the case may be, it has never been easy. My father died when I was very young and it has been an uphill battle ever since.

Growing up, it was always so much easier to just pretend it never happened. People would ask about my dad and I would tell them that he had died a long time ago. They would say "I'm sorry, I had no idea" and move on with their lives. I would always reply with "it's okay," even though it has never been okay. Sometimes it was so much easier to try and be okay with it just so it does not affect your daily life.

Even though it is no longer as hard to accept as it used to be, the most special moments are when I am reminded of how much I wish my dad was around. At my senior prom, when they called for the father-daughter/mother-son dance, my mother and I danced and cried together. It was so difficult because even as fun of an event as it was, that is one of the times you wish your father was there to witness. I know for a fact that the day I get married is going to be another one of those days. A question that has always crossed my mind is "who is going to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day?" Even though I do have influential men in my life and a wonderful mother that would be willing, that is one of the moments you wish your father was there to experience with you. It never gets easier, you just learn to deal with it and live the life that would make your lost loved one proud.

Though it has never been easy growing up without a father, I always have to remind myself that everything happens for a reason. I am so thankful for a strong and beautiful mother who was able to fulfill the role of mom and dad for a very long time. I now have a wonderful step-father that has never tried to take my dad's place and treats me like I am his own. I am truly blessed and I know my father is always smiling down on me with love.

Lastly, some people never realize how significant always having a parent around is until they are gone. Individuals that lose a parent know that anybody can be taken in a blink of an eye, with no warning whatsoever. So whenever you are around your parents, grandparents, siblings, etc., hug them a little tighter than usual, because you never know when the Lord is going to want them back.

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25 beatles lyrics: your go-to guide for every situation, the best lines from the fab four.

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The End- Abbey Road, 1969

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Dear Prudence- The White Album, 1968

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

Because- Abbey Road, 1969

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

All You Need Is Love, 1967

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

We Can Work It Out- Rubber Soul, 1965

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Come Together- Abbey Road, 1969

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

I Wanna Hold Your Hand- Meet The Beatles!, 1964

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band-1967

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Strawberry Fields Forever- Magical Mystery Tour, 1967

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Rain- Paperback Writer "B" side, 1966

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

Here Comes The Sun- Abbey Road, 1969

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

Saw Her Standing There- Please Please Me, 1963

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

Michelle- Rubber Soul, 1965

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

Revolution- The Beatles, 1968

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Eleanor Rigby- Revolver, 1966

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

With A Little Help From My Friends- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, 1967

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Hey Jude, 1968

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

Yesterday- Help!, 1965

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

Let It Be- Let It Be, 1970

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all i got to give if you say you'll love me too. i may not have a lot to give but what i got i'll give to you. i don't care too much for money. money can't buy me love.

Can't Buy Me Love- A Hard Day's Night, 1964

All you need is love, love is all you need

All You Need Is Love- Magical Mystery Tour, 1967

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. all your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird- The White Album, 1968

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

In My Life- Rubber Soul, 1965

While these are my 25 favorites, there are quite literally 1000s that could have been included. The Beatles' body of work is massive and there is something for everyone. If you have been living under a rock and haven't discovered the Fab Four, you have to get musically educated. Stream them on Spotify, find them on iTunes or even buy a CD or record (Yes, those still exist!). I would suggest starting with 1, which is a collection of most of their #1 songs, or the 1968 White Album. Give them chance and you'll never look back.

14 Invisible Activities: Unleash Your Inner Ghost!

Obviously the best superpower..

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

1. "Haunt" your friends.

Follow them into their house and cause a ruckus.

2. Sneak into movie theaters.

Going to the cinema alone is good for your mental health , says science

Considering that the monthly cost of subscribing to a media-streaming service like Netflix is oft...

Free movies...what else to I have to say?

3. Sneak into the pantry and grab a snack without judgment.

Late night snacks all you want? Duh.

4. Reenact "Hollow Man" and play Kevin Bacon.

America's favorite son? And feel what it's like to be in a MTV Movie Award nominated film? Sign me up.

5. Wear a mask and pretend to be a floating head.

Just another way to spook your friends in case you wanted to.

6. Hold objects so they'll "float."

"Oh no! A floating jar of peanut butter."

7. Win every game of hide-and-seek.

Just stand out in the open and you'll win.

8. Eat some food as people will watch it disappear.

Even everyday activities can be funny.

9. Go around pantsing your friends.

Even pranks can be done; not everything can be good.

10. Not have perfect attendance.

You'll say here, but they won't see you...

11. Avoid anyone you don't want to see.

Whether it's an ex or someone you hate, just use your invisibility to slip out of the situation.

12. Avoid responsibilities.

Chores? Invisible. People asking about social life? Invisible. Family being rude? Boom, invisible.

13. Be an expert on ding-dong-ditch.

Never get caught and have the adrenaline rush? I'm down.

14. Brag about being invisible.

Be the envy of the town.

But don't, I repeat, don't go in a locker room. Don't be a pervert with your power. No one likes a Peeping Tom.

Good luck, folks.

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned..

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

1. The importance of traditions.

Sometimes traditions seem like a silly thing, but the fact of it is that it's part of who you are. You grew up this way and, more than likely, so did your parents. It is something that is part of your family history and that is more important than anything.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

No matter how many times they get on your nerves or make you mad, they are the ones who will always be there and you should never take that for granted.

3. How to give back.

When tragedy strikes in a small town, everyone feels obligated to help out because, whether directly or indirectly, it affects you too. It is easy in a bigger city to be able to disconnect from certain problems. But in a small town those problems affect everyone.

4. What the word "community" really means.

Along the same lines as #3, everyone is always ready and willing to lend a helping hand when you need one in a small town and to me that is the true meaning of community. It's working together to build a better atmosphere, being there to raise each other up, build each other up, and pick each other up when someone is in need. A small town community is full of endless support whether it be after a tragedy or at a hometown sports game. Everyone shows up to show their support.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

People say this to others all the time, but it takes on a whole new meaning in a small town. It is true that life is about the journey, but when you're from a small town, you know it's about the journey because the journey probably takes longer than you spend at the destination. Everything is so far away that it is totally normal to spend a couple hours in the car on your way to some form of entertainment. And most of the time, you're gonna have as many, if not more, memories and laughs on the journey than at the destination.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

Word travels fast in a small town, so don't think you're gonna get away with anything. In fact, your parents probably know what you did before you even have a chance to get home and tell them. And forget about being scared of what your teacher, principle, or other authority figure is going to do, you're more afraid of what your parents are gonna do when you get home.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

Everyone deserves a chance. Most people don't have ill-intentions and you can't live your life guarding against every one else just because a few people in your life have betrayed your trust.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

While small towns are not always extremely diverse, they do contain people with a lot of different stories, struggle, and backgrounds. In a small town, it is pretty hard to exclude anyone because of who they are or what they come from because there aren't many people to choose from. A small town teaches you that just because someone isn't the same as you, doesn't mean you can't be great friends.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

In a small town, you learn that it's okay to be who you are and do your own thing. You learn that confidence isn't how beautiful you are or how much money you have, it's who you are on the inside.

10. How to work for what I want.

Nothing comes easy in life. They always say "gardens don't grow overnight" and if you're from a small town you know this both figuratively and literally. You certainly know gardens don't grow overnight because you've worked in a garden or two. But you also know that to get to the place you want to be in life it takes work and effort. It doesn't just happen because you want it to.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

If you're from a small town, you know that you will probably only meet a handful of people in your life who ACTUALLY know where your town is. And forget about the people who accidentally enter into your town because of google maps. You've gotten really good at giving them directions right back to the interstate.

12. How to be humble .

My small town has definitely taught me how to be humble. It isn't always about you, and anyone who grows up in a small town knows that. Everyone gets their moment in the spotlight, and since there's so few of us, we're probably best friends with everyone so we are as excited when they get their moment of fame as we are when we get ours.

13. To be well-rounded.

Going to a small town high school definitely made me well-rounded. There isn't enough kids in the school to fill up all the clubs and sports teams individually so be ready to be a part of them all.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

In a small town, good luck holding a grudge. In a bigger city you can just avoid a person you don't like or who you've had problems with. But not in a small town. You better resolve the issue fast because you're bound to see them at least 5 times a week.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

One of my favorite things about growing up in a rural area was being able to go outside and go exploring and not have to worry about being in danger. There is nothing more exciting then finding a new place somewhere in town or in the woods and just spending time there enjoying the natural beauty around you.

16. To be prepared for anything.

You never know what may happen. If you get a flat tire, you better know how to change it yourself because you never know if you will be able to get ahold of someone else to come fix it. Mechanics might be too busy , or more than likely you won't even have enough cell service to call one.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

It's okay to ask for help. One thing I realized when I moved away from my town for college, was how much my town has taught me that I could ask for help is I needed it. I got into a couple situations outside of my town where I couldn't find anyone to help me and found myself thinking, if I was in my town there would be tons of people ready to help me. And even though I couldn't find anyone to help, you better believe I wasn't afraid to ask.

18. How to be creative.

When you're at least an hour away from normal forms of entertainment such as movie theaters and malls, you learn to get real creative in entertaining yourself. Whether it be a night looking at the stars in the bed of a pickup truck or having a movie marathon in a blanket fort at home, you know how to make your own good time.

19. To brush off gossip.

It's all about knowing the person you are and not letting others influence your opinion of yourself. In small towns, there is plenty of gossip. But as long as you know who you really are, it will always blow over.

Grateful Beyond Words: A Letter to My Inspiration

I have never been so thankful to know you..

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

You have taught me that you don't always have to strong. You are allowed to break down as long as you pick yourself back up and keep moving forward. When life had you at your worst moments, you allowed your friends to be there for you and to help you. You let them in and they helped pick you up. Even in your darkest hour you showed so much strength. I know that you don't believe in yourself as much as you should but you are unbelievably strong and capable of anything you set your mind to.

Your passion to make a difference in the world is unbelievable. You put your heart and soul into your endeavors and surpass any personal goal you could have set. Watching you do what you love and watching you make a difference in the lives of others is an incredible experience. The way your face lights up when you finally realize what you have accomplished is breathtaking and I hope that one day I can have just as much passion you have.

SEE MORE: A Letter To My Best Friend On Her Birthday

The love you have for your family is outstanding. Watching you interact with loved ones just makes me smile . You are so comfortable and you are yourself. I see the way you smile when you are around family and I wish I could see you smile like this everyday. You love with all your heart and this quality is something I wished I possessed.

You inspire me to be the best version of myself. I look up to you. I feel that more people should strive to have the strength and passion that you exemplify in everyday life.You may be stubborn at points but when you really need help you let others in, which shows strength in itself. I have never been more proud to know someone and to call someone my role model. You have taught me so many things and I want to thank you. Thank you for inspiring me in life. Thank you for making me want to be a better person.

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life..

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Don't freak out

This is a rule you should continue to follow no matter what you do in life, but is especially helpful in this situation.

Email the professor

Around this time, professors are getting flooded with requests from students wanting to get into full classes. This doesn't mean you shouldn't burden them with your email; it means they are expecting interested students to email them. Send a short, concise message telling them that you are interested in the class and ask if there would be any chance for you to get in.

Attend the first class

Often, the advice professors will give you when they reply to your email is to attend the first class. The first class isn't the most important class in terms of what will be taught. However, attending the first class means you are serious about taking the course and aren't going to give up on it.

Keep attending class

Every student is in the same position as you are. They registered for more classes than they want to take and are "shopping." For the first couple of weeks, you can drop or add classes as you please, which means that classes that were once full will have spaces. If you keep attending class and keep up with assignments, odds are that you will have priority. Professors give preference to people who need the class for a major and then from higher to lower class year (senior to freshman).

Have a backup plan

For two weeks, or until I find out whether I get into my waitlisted class, I will be attending more than the usual number of classes. This is so that if I don't get into my waitlisted class, I won't have a credit shortage and I won't have to fall back in my backup class. Chances are that enough people will drop the class, especially if it is very difficult like computer science, and you will have a chance. In popular classes like art and psychology, odds are you probably won't get in, so prepare for that.

Remember that everything works out at the end

Life is full of surprises. So what if you didn't get into the class you wanted? Your life obviously has something else in store for you. It's your job to make sure you make the best out of what you have.

Top Creators

1. Brittany Morgan, National Writer's Society 2. Radhi, SUNY Stony Brook 3. Kristen Haddox , Penn State University 4. Jennifer Kustanovich , SUNY Stony Brook 5. Clare Regelbrugge , University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign

Essay on Life Without Parents

Students are often asked to write an essay on Life Without Parents in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Life Without Parents

Introduction.

Parents are like a tree’s roots, giving us strength and stability. Without them, life can be hard. This essay will explore life without parents.

Emotional Impact

When parents are not present, children often feel alone and scared. They lack the love and comfort that parents provide. This can lead to feelings of sadness and loneliness.

Physical Needs

Parents provide food, shelter, and clothing. Without them, children may struggle to meet these basic needs. They may live in poor conditions and suffer from hunger.

Parents usually guide their children’s education. Without them, children may not get the support they need to do well in school. Their future can be affected.

Moral Guidance

Life without parents is challenging. Children need their love, support, and guidance to grow into healthy, happy adults. We should all appreciate our parents and the role they play in our lives.

250 Words Essay on Life Without Parents

Understanding the topic.

Life without parents is a situation no child should have to face. Parents are like a shelter, protecting us from life’s storms. They guide us, teach us, and support us. But what if this shelter is not there? What would life be like?

Without parents, life can feel empty and lonely. Parents are our first friends, our first teachers. They provide love, comfort, and security. Without them, a child might feel lost and alone. This loneliness can lead to sadness and even depression.

Learning and Growth

Parents are our first teachers. They teach us how to walk, talk, and behave. They help us understand the world. Without parents, a child might struggle to learn these basic things. They may also miss out on important lessons about values, morals, and responsibility.

Financial Stability

Parents provide for us. They work hard to make sure we have food, clothes, and a home. Without parents, a child might face financial difficulties. They may have to work at a young age, which can interfere with their education and future.

Support System

In conclusion, a life without parents is a tough journey. It’s filled with challenges and hardships. But with the right support and guidance, a child can overcome these obstacles and thrive. It’s crucial for society to step up and provide this support to children who are without parents.

500 Words Essay on Life Without Parents

Parents are like the sun that lights up our world. They guide us, protect us, and provide for our needs. But, what if we imagine a life without parents? It can be a scary thought, especially for young children who depend on their parents for everything.

Without parents, life can become very lonely. Parents are often our first friends. They are the ones we turn to when we are happy, sad, or scared. Without them, we may feel lost and alone. We may miss their love, guidance, and support. We may also feel scared and insecure, as we have no one to rely on.

Parents not only give emotional support but also provide for our physical needs. They work hard to earn money to buy food, clothes, and other things we need. They also take care of our health, taking us to the doctor when we are sick. Without parents, we may struggle to meet these basic needs.

Education and Future

Parents play a crucial role in our education and future. They help us with our homework, encourage us to study, and support our dreams. Without them, our education may suffer. We may also struggle to plan for our future, as we lack their guidance and support.

Learning Values

Parents teach us important values like honesty, kindness, and respect. They set an example for us to follow. Without parents, we may struggle to learn these values. We may also lack a role model to look up to.

In conclusion, life without parents can be very challenging. We may face many difficulties, from emotional loneliness to struggling with basic needs. We may also miss their guidance in our education and future. Despite these challenges, it’s important to remember that there are other people in our lives who can support us, like relatives, friends, and teachers. They can help fill the gap left by our parents. Still, the role of parents in our lives is unique and irreplaceable. They love us unconditionally and support us in every aspect of our lives. Life without them is unimaginable. Therefore, we should always appreciate and cherish our parents while we have them.

This essay is not meant to make you scared or sad. Instead, it’s a reminder of how important parents are in our lives. So, let’s take a moment to thank our parents for all they do for us. Let’s show them our love and gratitude every day. After all, parents are the biggest blessing in our lives.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

Happy studying!

June 17, 2022

‘life without father’: less college, less work, and more prison for young men growing up without their biological father.

Young men who grew up with their biological father are more than twice as likely to graduate college by their late-20s, compared to those raised without their biological father. Tweet This
Young men who did not grow up with their biological father are significantly more likely to be idle in their mid-20s. Tweet This
Young men who did not grow up with their father in the home are about twice as likely to have spent time in jail by around age 30. Tweet This

“American fathers are today more removed from family life than ever before in our history,” wrote sociologist David Popenoe in his pathbreaking book, Life Without Father . “And according to a growing body of evidence, this massive erosion of fatherhood contributes mightily to many of the major social problems of our time.”

Popenoe wrote these words more than 25 years ago, but his assessment remains as relevant in 2022 as it was in 1996. The decline of marriage and the rise of fatherlessness in America remain at the center of some of the biggest problems facing the nation: crime and violence, school failure, deaths of despair, and children in poverty.

The predicament of the American male is of particular importance here. The percentage of boys living apart from their biological father has almost doubled since 1960—from about 17% to 32% today; now, an estimated 12 million boys are growing up in families without their biological father. 1 Specifically, approximately 62.5% of boys under 18 are living in an intact-biological family, 1.7% are living in a step-family with their biological father and step- or adoptive mother, 4.2% are living with their single, biological father, and 31.5% are living in a home without their biological father. 2

Lacking the day-to-day involvement, guidance, and positive example of their father in the home, and the financial advantages associated with having him in the household, these boys are more likely to act up, lash out, flounder in school, and fail at work as they move into adolescence and adulthood. Even though not all fathers play a positive role in their children’s lives, on average, boys benefit from having a present and involved father.

This Institute for Family Studies research brief details the connections between fatherlessness, family structure, and the increasing number of young men who are floundering in life and pose a threat to themselves and their communities. We do so by exploring the links between family structure and college completion, idleness ( defined here as twenty-somethings not in school or working ), and involvement with the criminal justice system ( measured by arrests and incarceration ) for young men in the 2000s and 2010s, using the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth, 1997 (NLSY97). We specifically examine how young men who were raised in a home with their biological father compare on these outcomes to their peers in families without their biological father. 3 Here is what we found.

Father-Present Families Help Keep Their Sons on the College Track

Boys today are struggling at all levels of school , falling behind girls in reading and math skills, and are less likely than girls to graduate high school on time. Young men are also less likely than young women to attend or graduate from college . When we think about the many factors behind this gender gap , family structure is often not the first cause to come to mind. But as MIT economist David Autor has found , the gender gap in high school, including suspensions and graduation, is larger for boys who did not grow up in married families compared to boys who did.

In this brief, we examine how the presence of a biological father in the home is linked to a young man’s chances of earning a college degree. As the figure below shows, when it comes to higher education for young men, family structure seems to matter. Young men who grew up with their biological father are more than twice as likely to graduate college by their late-20s, compared to those raised in families without their biological father (35% vs. 14%). Even after controlling for race, family income growing up, maternal education, age, and an AFQT score ( a measure of general knowledge ), we still see that hailing from a home with his own biological father doubles the likelihood that a young man will graduate from college.

Father-Present Families Discourage Idleness

A college degree is not the only measure of success. In fact, getting at least a high school degree and then a full-time job are two key steps toward avoiding poverty as adults. Unfortunately, more and more young men today are floundering without purpose and without work. As Nicholas Eberstadt and Evan Abramsky have reported , the U.S. has seen a surge in the number of prime-age men who are not currently working or looking for work: prior to the pandemic, nearly 7 million men between the ages of 25 and 54 were not working at all. The daily life of these men is often marked by hours in front of a screen while vaping, smoking marijuana, or under the influence of some other kind of substance.

So how does a father’s presence or absence effect his son’s ability or failure to launch—that is, to be either in school or in the labor force by the time he reaches early adulthood? Once again, we can see the apparent power of a biological father’s presence when it comes to pushing boys out of the house and toward becoming contributing members of society. As the above figure illustrates, young men who did not grow up with their biological father are significantly more likely to be idle in their mid-20s compared to young men who did grow up with their biological father (19% vs. 11%). After controlling for family income growing up, race, maternal education, age, and AFQT, we find that young men who did not grow up with their biological father are almost twice as likely to be idle compared to their male peers from father-present families ( see Appendix table ).

Father-Present Families Help Keep Their Sons Out of Jail

Of course, dads do more than just help their sons pursue an education and become productive members of society—they also play a major role in keeping their sons out of trouble. Research tells us that involved and present fathers reduce the odds that young men become a threat to society. Warren Farrell, author of The Boy Crisis , puts it this way : “Boys with dad-deprivation often experience a volcano of festering anger … And with boys’ much greater tendency to act out, the boys who hurt will be the ones most likely to hurt us.”

This figure illustrates his point. In addition to being markedly more likely to have been arrested during their teen years, young men who did not grow up with their father in the home are about twice as likely as those raised with their biological father in the household to have spent time in jail by around age 30. These associations remain strong and statistically significant even after controlling for family income, race, maternal education, age, and AFQT scores ( see Appendix table ).

In Wayward Sons: The Emerging Gender Gap in Labor Markets and Education , economists David Autor and Melanie Wasserman observed that “male children raised in female-headed households are less likely to have a positive male adult household member present,” are “particularly at risk for adverse outcomes across many domains, including high school dropout, criminality, and violence,” and, consequently, “the diminished involvement of the related male parent may magnify the emerging gender gap in educational attainment and labor market outcomes.”

Our results are consistent with their observations about the nexus between fatherlessness, family structure, and the problems the nation is now seeing among our young men. Too many young men are floundering and falling behind in one way or another—ignoring the imperative to get an education, failing to launch into adulthood, and succumbing to the lure of the street and becoming a threat to the community. This IFS brief reveals that America’s young man problem is disproportionately concentrated among the millions of males who grew up without the benefit of a present biological father. The bottom line: both these men and the nation are paying a heavy price for the breakdown of the family.

Brad Wilcox is director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, The Future of Freedom Fellow of the Institute for Family Studies, and Nonresident Senior Fellow at the American Enterprise Institute. Wendy Wang is director of research at the Institute for Family Studies. Alysse ElHage is editor of the Institute for Family Studies blog.

About the Data & Methodology

The National Longitudinal Survey of Youth, 1997 (NLSY97) follows the lives of a national representative sample of American youth (with black and Hispanic youth oversamples) born between 1980 to 1984. This cohort belongs to the Millennial generation (born between 1980 and 1994) and is the oldest group of Millennials. The survey started in 1997, when the respondents (about 9,000) were ages 12 to 16. The survey interviews were conducted annually from 1997 to 2011 and biennially since then. The analysis in this brief is limited to men, and the outcomes are measured in different life stages of this group of young men:

Ever been arrested by ages 15-19: Respondents were arrested by the police or taken into custody for an illegal or delinquent offense (not including arrests for minor traffic violations).
Idleness at ages 25-29: Respondents were not working nor in school.
College education by ages 28-34: Respondents’ highest degree was a Bachelor’s or higher.
Ever been incarcerated by ages 28-34: Respondents reported at least 1 incarceration.

1. Numbers are calculated based on the 2019 American Community Survey, and Lydia R. Anderson, Paul F. Hemez, and Rose M. Kreider, “Living Arrangements of Children: 2019,” Current Population Reports , P70-174, U.S. Census Bureau, Washington, DC, 2021.

3. In NLSY97, young men raised in a home with their biological father include those who lived with both biological parents (49%), or a biological father only (3%), or in a two-parent home with a biological father (2%) at the time of their first interview in 1997 (when these young men were ages 12-16). In contrast, young men in father-absent homes include those who lived with their biological mother only, or in a two-parent home with a biological mother and her partner, or with adoptive parents, foster parents, grandparents, etc.

How dads affect their daughters into adulthood, what three identical strangers reveals about nature and nurture, five facts about today’s single fathers, family breakdown and america’s welfare system, the religious marriage paradox: younger marriage, less divorce, how fathers influence their daughters’ romantic relationships, join the ifs mailing list.

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Essays About Dads: Top 5 Examples Plus 10 Prompts

Write engaging essays about dads with help from our essay examples about dads, including a handful of topic prompts.

Dads are critical pillars in children’s development. Like moms, their presence, especially in children’s early years, is critical in laying the foundation of their well-being and self-esteem that will determine much of their kids’ adulthood. Some people have great relationships with their dads, while others have complicated or strained relationships, or don’t have contact with them at all.

Being a dad is different from merely being a father in that the former has nurtured a more loving relationship with their kids. Becoming a father is a huge milestone in a person’s life. The child can enjoy their dad’s great sense of humor, fun attitude in life, and loving personality. Whatever your relationship with your dad, you can write a compelling essay to convey your experiences and share your emotions.

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5 Essay Examples

1. 10 lessons i learned from my abusive father by suzanna quintana, 2. why some fathers become distant after their child becomes a teen by larissa marulli, 3. gay dads and stigmas by laura ferguson, 4. this veterans day, i’m searching for my dad’s army buddies before it’s too late by judi ketteler, 5. i have never met my dad – making peace with the past by james barnett, 1. my dad is my best friend, 2. spending time with dad, 3. the best lesson i learned from my dad, 4. modern roles of dads, 5. absent dads: a social crisis, 6. single dads on the rise, 7. dads’ rights and obligations in child custody, 8. what makes a responsible dad, 9. my dad: the disciplinarian, 10. becoming a dad.

“Between his rages, verbal abuse, emotional absence, and his way of using guilt and shame as a weapon, the rest of us were kept under control through what I later dubbed Operation Fear, his cold war campaign designed to silence all dissidents and maintain his place as a dictator.”

The author relates her struggles of breaking free from her father’s encumbering sense of being unloved. Although her struggle lasted into her late adult years, she eventually learned to accept and cherish lessons from her father that helped her become a better parent to her children. You might be interested in these essays about growing up without a father .

“Dad can have a really hard time getting used to his little girl now being a young woman who has romantic interests, and breasts and may no longer be into the things that she and dad used to do together.”

The love of dads has a lasting impact on a child’s disposition and outlook in adulthood. The problem is that some dads tend to be distant once their kids’ transition into teenagers. This essay helps dads preserve their closeness with their children during confusing times.

“…[G]ay fathers still feel the brunt of stigma, experiences that the researchers linked to states with fewer legal and social protections for gays and their families.”

Years after the legal acceptance of gay marriages, gay dads still endure discrimination. A research study uncovers this and studies influences that continue to perpetuate the discriminating environment.

“It was only in 2019 that my sisters and I discovered all the photographs our dad had taken of his fellow GIs — reading, drinking beer at cafés and tending to their military truck. Some are portraits. Some seem candid. All feel special.”

In this essay, book author Ketteler talks about her nostalgic adventure to learn more about her veteran father’s life at the barracks. This journey starts after uncovering old photos of his wartime memorabilia wrapped with mystery and brotherly love.

“If, for whatever variety of reasons, a dad isn’t present, physically or otherwise, then the child must look elsewhere for role models. I see being a role model as part of my life purpose. I need to be the role model that my dad wasn’t there to be for me. I must be what I didn’t have.”

A son who never had someone to call dad pens a letter to his deceased stranger-father. In this letter-essay, he puts out all the difficulties in meeting him only through pictures and never knowing how his life was. Yet, despite the letter appearing as an outpour of outrage, a surprising twist comes up when the essay shifts into a forgiving tone.

10 Compelling Prompts On Essays About Dads

Describe the best side of your father and share with your readers how he fits as your best friend. Talk about the things you like doing together and how he listens to you in times of need. Perhaps you enjoy watching movies together or going on annual trips away together. What are the other things that make you appreciate your father? Answer this question in the main section of your essay. End your essay with a conclusion explaining how a parent and a child can have true bonds of friendship.

Essays About Dads: Spending time with dad

Do you and your dad enjoy golf, camping, or hiking? Or do you prefer doing something indoors, like cooking or playing board games? First, write about the activities you and your father enjoy doing together. Then, for a more impactful essay, write about what a day of spending time with your dad looks like and your fondest memory with him.

Like our essay example, we hope you also have important lessons to carry on from your dad, whether by having a loving or complicated relationship with him. Write down the most important lesson your dad has imparted to you. You may have learned essential life skills like cooking or cleaning, self-confidence, or how to be independent. Detail how the lessons you have learned have shaped your perspective in life and what you are striving to do to embody his teachings into your life.

Diverging from the traditional perception of fathers as mainly financial providers, the modern definition of a dad comes in different shapes and sizes. First, enumerate the typical dads existing today — single dads, gay dads, blended households, step dads, and more. Then, find out how they are raising their children and how different are their parenting styles from those of traditional dads. Include interview research in your essay for an interesting and accurate essay.

According to the National Fatherhood Initiative , one in four children is without a biological, step, or adoptive father. In this essay, enumerate the adverse effects of fatherlessness on a child’s development. How do these effects influence one’s adulthood? Find research studies to support your answer to this.

Research from the Pew Research Center has shown that single dads have increased ninefold since the 1960s. Research this trend further and discover what factors drive single men to take on the enormous responsibility of fatherhood on their own. If you know dads who are single fathers by choice, their stories would add more life to your story. Also, tackle the options men have to be single dads, such as surrogacy or adoption, and assistance your state or country offers aspiring single dads.

According to the World Population Review , about 50% of married couples divorce. When marriages fail, what rights do fathers hold to continue being a father to their children? Find out what these are, along with a father’s obligations and penalties for not fulfilling them. Turn this into an argumentative essay and answer whether these rights and obligations are enough and how they can be expanded to sustain raising a child.

As modern times drastically change the roles of parents, dads have become more involved in child-rearing. This has allowed dads to nurture more profound relationships with their kids, breaking the image of a distant father who only gets to see his child after work. First, write about the qualities and actions that make a father a responsible dad. Then, add the importance of having responsible dads at home and what society can do to promote responsible fatherhood.

Essays About Dads: My dad the disciplinarian

The image of dads as a disciplinarian has often been perceived negatively. But beyond the punishments, discipline means enabling children to grow up well. In this essay, talk about your dad’s disciplinary techniques. Write about how he corrects bad behavior. Then, cite anecdotes to make your essay more lively. For example, share how your dad responded to a grave mistake you committed. Finally, write down how he punished you and what you learned from this experience.

Interview your father and try to capture his roller coaster of emotions and experiences as a first-time dad. Ask him what he felt like when he first held you in your arms, when you got your first fever and when he first brought you to school. Next, ask him how he is coping with the extraordinary demands of fatherhood financially, physically, and emotionally. Finally, ask him to give soon-to-be fathers a few words of wisdom. Share these experiences in your essay and describe your take on these emotions.

For more writing guidance, our explainer on grammar and syntax can help you write better essays.

If you need help picking your next essay topic, check out our 20 engaging essay topics about family .

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Growing up without a father; Applying EA to MIT: SIGNIFICANT CHALLENGE

OP MGW 1 / 1 Oct 22, 2013 #3 The topic isn't meant to be eczema. It's meant to be about growing up without knowing my father. The eczema is just an opening to explain why I don't live near my father or any other family.

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You might be interested in these essays about growing up without a father. 2. ... According to the National Fatherhood Initiative, one in four children is without a biological, step, or adoptive father. In this essay, enumerate the adverse effects of fatherlessness on a child's development. How do these effects influence one's adulthood?
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Growing Up Without a Father Free Essay Example
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