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How to Describe Fear in a Story

By Isobel Coughlan

Are you writing a character in your novel who is extremely fearful? Scroll down to learn how to describe fear in a story.

Something that’s extreme in degree or strength.

“She was shaking with intense fear as she approached the edge of the diving board.”

“The man yelled for help as the tsunami wave towered over him. The fear he felt as the wave crashed was more intense than the impact of the sea itself.”

How it Adds Description

You can show extreme fear through the adjective “intense,” as this word makes it clear that the character is scared to a heightened degree. This is a good way to show your audience that the situation is petrifying for the character, and it could foreshadow potential psychological effects in the future due to the intensity of the event.

Something that lasts for a long time or feels like it won’t stop.

“An endless fear settled upon the classroom as the students listened to the howling wind outside.”

“The detective had been suffering from endless fear since he deciphered who the killer was. But he didn’t let his emotions show.”

“Endless” signifies that the character’s fear is either constant or feels like it will never end. This might leave them feeling hopeless as if they’ll be plagued by horror for the remainder of their lives. “Endless” fear could even result in depression or the character isolating themself from society in order to feel safer.

Something that only lasts for a short amount of time.

“The sudden loud noise sent a brief jolt of fear down the young boy’s spine.”

“As she entered the old mansion, she had a brief moment of fear. But she shook it off and continued walking.”

The word “brief” shows that the character’s fear is short-lived and not something they’re constantly worried about. This could imply that they’re not too scared of the events or person, or they could be very good at compartmentalizing their worries.

4. Exhausting

Something that causes weariness and fatigue .

“Anna has been living in fear of the campfire story for over a week now. It was exhausting for her nerves.”

“He was constantly on the lookout for opponents, and the exhausting fear was taking a toll on him.”

If a character is very scared for a long time, it will likely become “exhausting.” This is because constant psychological stress can take a toll on both their mental and physical health. Characters that are “exhausted” by fear will be less likely to think straight and may rely on others for assistance.

The feeling of being embarrassed, anxious , or afraid because you think something is wrong.

“The boy felt an uneasy fear each time he walked into the abandoned cellar.”

“She had been scared for the whole journey, but she felt even more uneasy when the sun went down.”

If you want to show a character feels more anxious or nervous rather than petrified, “uneasy” is the word for you. This word shows the character has realized that something isn’t right, and this might cause physical anxiety symptoms. They might also be keen to leave the situation or place to avoid the danger their intuition is picking up on.

6. Terrifying

Something that makes you extremely frightened .

“The sight of the demon was terrifying , and the boy froze with fear when he saw it.”

“As she crept through the underground tunnels, she tussled with a terrifying fear of the dark.”

“Terrifying” shows that a character’s fear is more intense than usual, to the extent that they might want to turn around and leave the situation. However, braver characters might swallow their fear and continue despite the “terrifying” feelings.

Something that needs to be dealt with as soon as possible.

“Seeing the zombies rise from the dead filled the gang with urgent fear. It was time to leave ASAP.”

“The fear in her eyes was urgent , and he knew they needed to fight or flee.”

Sometimes fear causes a fight or flight reflex, and “urgent” can show that your characters are experiencing this. “Urgent” shows that they need to react to the scary stimuli right now, and this is either through fighting or by escaping. “Urgent” can also increase the pressure in a fictional situation, making it a suspenseful read.

8. Insignificant

Something that’s unimportant or very small.

“After seeing the ancient monster, her usual fears seemed insignificant .”

“To the witch, human worries and fears were insignificant . She was above such trivial things.”

You can show that a character’s worries aren’t important via “insignificant.” This could signal that the character worries about a lot of small things, or it could show that their fears now pale in comparison to the new danger.

Something that’s hidden in the moment but may become more obvious in the future.

“The encounter with the ghost had stirred up a latent fear within the little girl.”

“Though the knight looked confident, behind his armor lay a latent fear of death.”

The adjective “latent” is used to describe things that exist but have not yet developed or become  obvious to the characters. This can show characters have a dormant fear that’s only just starting or will take over in the future. Using “latent” is a great way to foreshadow future events or character emotions.

10. Irrational

Something that’s not based on logic .

“The class trip to the circus was continually interrupted by Billy’s irrational fear of clowns.”

“Ellie knew her feelings of terror were irrational . But the intense fear of buttons paralyzed every aspect of her life.”

Not all fears make sense, and you can show this via “irrational.” Characters with “irrational” fears might be misunderstood by others or dismissed as their worries seem illogical. This might make them feel even more stressed, as no one is taking their worries seriously.

Heart-Pounding Moments: Describing Being Scared in Creative Writing

My name is Debbie, and I am passionate about developing a love for the written word and planting a seed that will grow into a powerful voice that can inspire many.

Do you remember that heart-pounding moment when fear gripped you so tightly, your whole body seemed to freeze in place? It’s in those exhilarating seconds when we truly understand the power of being scared. Whether it’s the hair-raising feeling of walking alone in a dark forest or the bone-chilling sensation that something is lurking just out of sight, fear has a unique ability to captivate our senses. And as writers, harnessing that captivating emotion can bring a new level of intensity to our creative works. In this article, we will delve into the art of describing being scared in creative writing, exploring techniques that will send shivers down your readers’ spines and leave them hungering for more. So, buckle up and prepare to dive deep into the realm of heart-pounding moments.

Why Describing Heart-Pounding Moments is Essential in Creative Writing

The power of sensory details: paint a vivid picture, creating a chilling experience through emotion-driven language, building tension: crafting suspenseful scenes, the art of foreshadowing: leave clues for readers to unravel, crafting authentic characters: understand fear from within, 1. the dark and mysterious forest, 2. the abandoned asylum, experimenting with pacing and sentence structure to heighten intensity, frequently asked questions, closing remarks.

One of the key elements in creative writing is the ability to captivate readers and evoke emotions through vivid descriptions. Describing heart-pounding moments in storytelling is essential as it allows readers to experience the exhilaration and intensity of the scene, creating a powerful connection between the reader and the narrative.

By vividly portraying heart-pounding moments, writers can engage their audience on a visceral level. The palpable sense of anticipation and adrenaline rush evokes a range of emotions, from excitement and fear to joy and relief. These moments of heightened tension and suspense grab the reader’s attention, holding it tightly and ensuring they remain engrossed in the story.

Without the inclusion of heart-pounding moments, creative writing runs the risk of becoming dull and uninteresting. These moments act as accelerators, propelling the story forward and adding a dynamic element to the narrative. They inject excitement, keeping the reader eagerly turning the pages, hungry to discover what happens next.

Furthermore, by effectively describing heart-pounding moments, writers can convey the protagonist’s emotions and enhance character development. The reader witnesses the character’s bravery, vulnerability, or determination, making them more relatable and enabling a deeper connection. Through these moments, the reader becomes emotionally invested in the story, allowing them to experience the rollercoaster of emotions alongside the characters.

When it comes to writing, the use of sensory details holds immense power in captivating readers and bringing your words to life. By incorporating vivid descriptions that appeal to the five senses, you can transport your audience into the world you’ve created, immersing them in a rich and unforgettable experience.

How can you effectively utilize sensory details to enhance your writing? Here are some tips to get you started:

• Engage all the senses: Don’t limit yourself to just sight. Describe sounds, smells, tastes, and textures to create a fully immersive experience.
• Choose precise words: Select descriptive adjectives and adverbs that precisely convey the sensations you want your readers to feel.
• Create mental images: Use metaphors and similes to make abstract concepts more tangible and relatable.
• Appeal to emotions: Sensory details can evoke powerful emotions, so leverage this to connect with your readers on a deeper level.

By skillfully crafting your writing with sensory details, you can create a vivid tapestry that resonates with your audience long after they’ve finished reading. So, next time you sit down to write, embrace the power of sensory descriptions to truly paint a picture that will transport your readers to another world!

Utilize Emotion-Driven Language to Evoke Fear in Readers

When it comes to captivating readers and immersing them in a gripping narrative, harnessing the power of emotion-driven language can send shivers down their spines. By skillfully crafting words that invoke fear, you have the ability to trigger a visceral reaction that will keep readers hooked until the very end. Here are some powerful techniques to utilize in your writing to evoke fear:

• Paint vivid and unsettling descriptions: Transport your readers into the heart of darkness by using rich, sensory language to detail the eerie atmosphere, chilling sights, and spine-tingling sounds that surround your characters. This will engross your readers and make them feel like active participants in the unfolding horror.
• Tap into primal fears: To truly make readers shudder, appeal to their deepest fears and insecurities. Whether it’s fear of the unknown, loss, or personal vulnerability, identifying and leveraging these primal terrors will intensify the emotional impact of your storytelling.
• Employ suspenseful pacing: Master the art of withholding and revealing information at precisely the right moments to create an air of palpable tension and keep readers on the edge of their seats. Gradually building suspense and releasing it in spine-chilling increments will maximize the fear factor and heighten their sense of anticipation.

To master the craft of evoking fear, it is crucial to infuse your writing with emotion-driven language that lingers long after the final page is turned. By skillfully utilizing these techniques, your readers will experience a thrill that will stay with them, leaving them hungry for more bone-chilling tales .

Welcome to the world of crafting suspenseful scenes! In this post, we will delve into the art of building tension in your writing to create captivating narratives that keep readers on the edge of their seats. Whether you’re a novelist, screenwriter, or simply looking to add suspense to your short stories, mastering the art of building tension is a skill that will greatly enhance your storytelling ability.

To begin, let’s explore some techniques that can effectively heighten suspense in your scenes:

• Keep your readers guessing: One key element of building tension is to create uncertainty. By withholding information or introducing unexpected twists, you can ignite curiosity and keep your readers engaged. Leave breadcrumbs of clues throughout the scene, but keep the ultimate outcome shrouded in mystery.
• Employ the power of pacing: Varying the pace of your scene can greatly enhance tension. Slow, deliberate moments can build anticipation, while sudden bursts of action can jolt readers. Experiment with sentence length, dialogue, and descriptive details to maintain a balance between action and stillness, causing the tension to ebb and flow rhythmically.
• Create a sense of impending doom: Foreshadowing is a powerful tool to subtly hint at future conflicts or dangers. It plants seeds of unease in the minds of readers, ensuring that tension simmers beneath the surface. Skillfully weave in foreshadowing elements, whether through cryptic dialogue or symbolic objects, to create an atmosphere of impending doom.

By incorporating these techniques into your writing, you will be well on your way to crafting suspenseful scenes that have readers eagerly turning the pages. Remember, building tension requires a delicate balance and a keen understanding of pacing. Practice and experimentation will hone your skills, allowing you to masterfully hold your audience captive with every twist and turn of your storytelling.

Foreshadowing is a powerful storytelling device that adds depth, suspense, and intrigue to a narrative. By subtly hinting at events or outcomes to come, authors engage readers in a captivating guessing game that keeps them hooked until the very end. Whether you’re a writer looking to enhance your storytelling skills or a reader fascinated by the inner workings of literature, understanding the art of foreshadowing can greatly enrich your reading experience. Here are some key points to consider:

• Plant seeds of anticipation: Foreshadowing effectively plants seeds of anticipation in the minds of readers. By dropping subtle hints and clues throughout a story, the author creates an air of expectation, making readers curious and eager to uncover what lies ahead. These clues can take many forms, such as mysterious symbols, recurring motifs, or even subtle changes in a character’s behavior.
• Establish a sense of inevitability: Foreshadowing can create a sense of inevitability, where readers feel that certain events are bound to happen. This can heighten tension and keep readers on the edge of their seats, eagerly waiting for the predicted events to unfold. The art lies in striking a delicate balance – dropping enough clues to make the eventual outcome plausible, yet not revealing it so explicitly that readers lose interest in solving the puzzle.

The art of foreshadowing lies in its delicate subtlety and the excitement it generates within readers. By skillfully leaving clues for readers to unravel, writers create an interactive experience that makes the story come alive. These breadcrumbs of anticipation, when sprinkled throughout a narrative, have the power to captivate and engage readers, leaving them with a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment when they finally connect the dots. So, next time you embark on a literary journey, keep an eye out for those cleverly placed clues, as they may just lead you to the heart of the story.

When it comes to developing truly authentic characters in your writing, understanding fear is an essential ingredient. Fear is a powerful emotion that can shape a character’s actions, thoughts, and motivations, adding depth and complexity to their personality. By delving into the depths of fear from within, you can create characters that resonate with readers on a deep and emotional level.

Explore the following aspects to better comprehend fear and infuse it into your characters:

• Root causes: Every character has unique experiences that give rise to specific fears. Dive deep into their backstories to uncover the roots of their fears. It could stem from a traumatic childhood event, a personal failure, or even an irrational phobia.
• Physical manifestations: Fear doesn’t just exist in the mind – it manifests physically too. Consider how fear affects your character’s body. Do they tremble, sweat profusely, or have difficulty breathing? Including these physical cues in your writing will bring your characters to life.
• Internal monologue: Fear often triggers an internal dialogue within a character’s mind. Craft their thoughts in a way that reveals their fears and uncertainties. By exploring their inner voice, you can transport readers into the mind of your character and ensure a more immersive reading experience.

Choose the Perfect Setting to Amplify Fearful Moments

When it comes to creating an unforgettable experience, the setting plays a crucial role in intensifying fearful moments. From eerie haunted houses to creepy abandoned hospitals, there are numerous spine-chilling settings to choose from that will leave your heart racing and your imagination running wild. Here are a few spine-tingling settings that are guaranteed to amplify your fearful moments:

Venture into the depths of a dense, ominous forest cloaked in chilling shadows. Each rustle of leaves, the hooting of distant owls, and the murmur of unseen creatures will send shivers down your spine. With eerie whispering winds echoing through the mysterious trees, you’ll never know what lurks behind every corner. Let your imagination run wild as you navigate through an environment that plays tricks with your mind.

Step into the world of madness and despair as you explore an abandoned asylum. The crumbling walls and decaying rooms create an atmosphere of eerie abandonment and haunted memories. Feel the weight of the past as you walk down the long, dimly lit hallways, hearing the faint echo of forgotten voices. Your heart will race as you discover the remnants of forgotten treatments, old operating rooms, and ghostly patient records. This setting will amplify your fearful moments and leave you questioning what truly happened within those haunted walls.

In the realm of storytelling, pacing and sentence structure play a pivotal role in creating intensity and capturing the attention of readers. By experimenting with these elements, writers can effectively mold the atmosphere, build tension, and deliver a gripping experience. Let’s explore some techniques that can be employed to heighten intensity in your narrative:

1. Varying Sentence Lengths: Mixing long and intricate sentences with short, punchy ones can create a sense of urgency. The sudden shift in pace can evoke a feeling of unease and keep readers on the edge of their seats. Additionally, longer sentences can be used to provide detailed descriptions, while shorter sentences can deliver swift action or impactful statements.

2. Strategic Placement of Punctuation: The careful use of punctuation, such as dashes, ellipses, and exclamation marks, can enhance the intensity of a scene. A well-placed dash can indicate a sudden interruption or change in direction, while the omission of full stops through the use of ellipses can create a suspenseful pause. However, it’s important to exercise restraint and not overuse these devices, as it can lead to a disjointed reading experience.

Q: Why is it important to convey fear in creative writing? A: Conveying fear in creative writing allows readers to experience intense emotions, making the story more engaging and memorable. It adds depth to characters, creates suspense, and evokes empathy from the audience.

Q: How can we effectively describe fear in writing? A: Effective descriptions of fear in writing involve vivid language and sensory details, such as trembling hands, a racing heart, or a cold sweat. By using precise words and crafting realistic reactions, writers can make readers truly feel the characters’ fear.

Q: What are some techniques for building suspense in scary storytelling? A: Utilizing techniques like foreshadowing, cliffhangers, and unpredictable plot twists can effectively build suspense. Gradually revealing information while maintaining an element of mystery will keep readers on the edge of their seats, heightening the fear factor.

Q: How can writers evoke fear through setting and atmosphere? A: Writers can create a fearful environment by carefully choosing the setting and establishing a foreboding atmosphere. Descriptions of eerie landscapes, dimly lit rooms, or haunting sounds in the distance can enhance the reader’s sense of fear and unease.

Q: How can dialogue be used to convey fear? A: Dialogue can convey fear through realistic, trembling voices, stammering, or using short, breathless sentences. Characters expressing their deepest fears and anxieties in conversation can increase tension and make the reader share in their emotions.

Q: Is it important to balance fear with other emotions in writing? A: Yes, it is crucial to strike a balance. While fear is an essential element, incorporating other emotions like relief, hope, or determination adds complexity and makes the story more relatable. This mix of emotions resonates with readers on a deeper level.

Q: How can a writer effectively show a character’s fear without explicitly stating it? A: Instead of outright stating fear, writers can show it through physical cues like trembling, sweating, or a character’s inability to speak. Internal monologues or their actions – like avoiding a dark room or suspicious behavior – can also indicate fear without directly mentioning it.

Q: How can writers make sure their descriptions of fear connect with readers? A: To connect with readers, writers should use relatable experiences or fears that resonate with a wide audience. Utilizing universal fears like the fear of the dark, spiders, or the unknown can help readers personally relate to the characters and their emotions.

Q: How can authors use pacing to intensify fear in their stories? A: Varying the pace of the narrative, particularly during suspenseful moments, can heighten fear. Quickening the pace during a heart-pounding scene and slowing it down during moments of anticipation can evoke a sense of urgency, making the reader’s heart race alongside the characters.

Q: Are there any common pitfalls in describing fear that writers should avoid? A: Writers should avoid relying solely on clichés or overused phrases when describing fear. Instead, they should strive for originality and use unique descriptions. Additionally, it is important to use fear in a way that serves the story and characters, rather than just for shock value.

In conclusion, mastering the art of describing fear in creative writing can truly elevate the reader’s experience. By employing vivid sensory details and emotional connections, writers can captivate their audience and make heart-pounding moments truly come alive on the page.

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How to Describe Fear in Writing

By: Author Paul Jenkins

Posted on July 4, 2022

Categories Writing , Creativity , Filmmaking , Storytelling

How to describe fear in writing? It’s a fair question because fear is one of the most complex and powerful emotions we experience. Fear can be paralyzing, but it can also give us the strength to overcome great challenges. In this post, I’ll give you some tips on how to describe fear in your creative writing and how to harness its power for good. Stay tuned.

What Is Fear and Where Does It Come From

Fear is a very powerful emotion that’s often triggered by a perceived threat. It can make a person feel anxious, scared, or even panicky.

Fear is a survival mechanism that’s hardwired into our brains. It’s designed to help us avoid danger and protect us from harm. But sometimes fear can be irrational and unfounded. It can be triggered by things that aren’t actually dangerous, such as a fear of heights or public speaking. And it can be so strong that it interferes with our ability to live normal, happy lives.

So where does fear come from?

There are two main types of fear: innate and learned.

Innate fear is instinctive and hard-wired into our brains. It involves the fight-or-flight response triggered by a perceived threat. This type of fear is helpful because it helps us avoid dangerous situations. But it can also be irrational, for example, when we’re afraid of things that aren’t actually dangerous, such as snakes or spiders.

Learned fear is acquired through experience or observation. For example, if you see someone else fall off a cliff, you may develop a fear of heights. Or if you’ve had bad experiences in the past, such as being bullied at school, you may develop a fear of social situations.

Fear is usually triggered by a perceived threat. But what’s a threat? It can be something physical, like a dangerous animal. Or it can be something invisible, like the fear of failing or embarrassing yourself.

In some (more severe) cases of fear, a psychological condition called phobias can develop. Phobias are intense, irrational fears that are out of proportion to the actual threat. For example, many people are afraid of spiders or snakes, even though very few of them are dangerous.

The Spectrum of Fear

As any writer knows, fear is a powerful emotion that can add depth and tension to a story. But how do you describe fear in a way that’s effective and believable?

One approach is to consider the different types of fear that exist on a spectrum from mild anxiety to all-consuming terror.

At the lower end of the spectrum are feelings of nervousness or unease. This could be the person’s reaction to a small, everyday event, such as an upcoming presentation at work. The character might feel their heart racing and palms sweating, but they can still think clearly and function normally.

At the other end of the spectrum is true terror, intense fear, where the character is completely overwhelmed by fear. They may feel like they’re going to faint or have a heart attack. They might lose all rational thought and is unable to escape or fight back. In this state, the person is completely at the mercy of their fear.

Between these two extremes, there are different degrees of fear, each with its own symptoms and effects. Understanding the different types of fear on this spectrum will help you better describe the fear in your writing.

How Your Character Can Deal With Fear

When your character is confronted with a situation that they perceive as dangerous, their body automatically goes into fight-or-flight mode. This is a survival mechanism that kicks in when we’re faced with a threat.

The adrenaline coursing through your character’s body gives her the energy and strength she needs to fight or escape the danger.

However, this reaction can also cause your character to freeze in fear. To overcome this, your character needs to take a deep breath and calm down. After that, she can think more clearly and make a decision about how best to handle the situation.

How your character reacts to fear depends on her personality and past experiences. Some characters freeze in the face of fear, while others can become aggressive or even reckless.

It’s important that you stay true to your character’s personality and make sure that their reactions are believable. You should also consider how your character deals with anxiety in the long run.

Does she try to avoid everything that scares her? Or does she face her fears head-on? Again, there’s no right or wrong answer, but whatever you choose should be consistent with your character’s personality.

Why Fear is Such a Powerful Emotion

Fear is such a powerful emotion because it’s a basic human instinct that’s deeply embedded in our psyche. Fear is what kept our ancestors alive in the face of dangerous predators and other threats. It’s an emotion that’s hard-wired into our brains and one of the first emotions we experience in life.

When you write about fear, it’s important to try to capture the intensity and fierceness of the feeling.

Fear can be described as a feeling of dread, panic, anxiety, or terror. It can cause physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, or palpitations. Fear can also lead to avoidance behaviors, such as staying away from certain places or people.

Ultimately, fear is such a powerful emotion because it’s a survival mechanism.

How to Write About Fear in an Authentic Way

One way to write authentically about fear is to think of a time when you were afraid.

• What were you afraid of?
• Was it a physical threat or something more abstract?
• What did your fear feel like?
• Was it a knot in your stomach, a racing heart, or something else entirely?

Remembering these details will help you portray the fear in your writing in a more realistic and believable way.

Another tip is to choose your words carefully. When writing about fear, it’s important to avoid clichés and generalities. Instead, focus on specific sensory details that will help your readers feel the fear of your characters.

If you manage to make your readers feel the fear, you’ve succeeded in writing about fear in an authentic way.

Some Sensory Ideas for Writing About Fear

Here are some examples of how the senses can be used when you write about fear.

• Fear is a dark presence on the edge of my vision. It is like a spot of blackness that hides in the corner of my eye. I turn to look at it, but when I look at it directly, it disappears.
• Sweat dripped from her brow as she watched her patient slash her wrists with a razor blade.
• She saw the shadows of the creature falling toward her.
• Dark, like a spot on the periphery of my vision.
• Fear smells sweet and sour. It smells like a mixture of metal and blood.
• Her heart skipped a beat as she walked into the dark and damp warehouse.
• The scent of rot and decay, death and destruction about to befall her.
• The faint cracks of the ice as it breaks followed by the roaring of the water below had her heart racing and her body shaking.
• Her heart pounded, her head spun and her eyes saw nothing but darkness, her ears filled with the cries of a thousand people.
• Fear is a soundless scream.
• Fear tastes like blood, sour and salty.
• The salty taste of fear lingered on her lips as she tasted his blood.
• The taste of bile rose to her mouth and she swallowed, the acid rising and burning her throat.
• Fear tastes like pennies and chalk.
• When I touch fear, I feel like I’m touching cold metal.
• Her trembling hands hovered just above his skin, afraid to touch him for fear of the cold, clammy sweat that seemed to seep from his pores.
• Her skin crawled and her bones rattled, her muscles screamed of a horror unseen.
• I feel fear in the hair on the back of my neck. It is like invisible fingers run along my spine.
• Cold sweat.

Metaphorical

• It is as sweet as blood and it is as light as air. It is as quiet as music and it is as cruel as a city. Fear is black and it is red. It is a city, a city without walls and without time. And you haven’t seen terror yet.
• Fear was a squeamish, aged lady with a wooden stick and a small mouth bagging her knuckles over the crumbling edge of the world.
• Fear was a black stain on the windows of the soul; the neon lights bending and twisting, just out of sync; the ghost of an unfelt sensation.
• Its claws were as large as a panther. Fear had a mouth like a bag of teeth, and a body made of rags.
• He is dark, thin and tall, with a face like a death mask hanging from a bone. His eyes are like holes and his lips dry, thin waterfalls.

How to Make Fear Seem Real for Your Readers

When you write about fear, it’s important that the feeling seems real to your readers. Because if the fear isn’t believable, your readers won’t be afraid. So how do you go about doing this?

Here are a few tips:

• Avoid clichés . Clichés are overused and often weaken the impact of your words. Instead of relying on them, try to make your descriptions more original.
• Use vivid details. Vivid details can help bring the feeling of fear to life. What does the character see, smell, hear, taste, and feel? The more concrete the details, the easier it’s for readers to relate to the character’s fear.
• Use strong verbs. Fear is a strong emotion, so it should be described with strong verbs. For example, instead of saying that the character ” is “afraid,” you could say that he or she’s “scared,” “afraid,” or “afraid.” Each of these words has a different meaning, so choose the word that best fits your scene.
• Show how fear affects the character’s thoughts and actions. Fear not only triggers physical reactions but also affects the character’s thoughts and behavior. So use internal details to show how fear changes the character’s thoughts and actions.
• Focus on small, specific details. The more specific you focus on the details, the more real your scene will look. For example, instead of focusing only on the character’s fear of the dark, focus on the fear of the dark in that one specific room with that one squeaky board. Use body language as a device in your writing.

How Can Fear Be Used to Create Suspense or Tension

When it comes to creating tension in a story, fear is one of the most powerful tools at a writer’s disposal. By playing on our deepest fears and anxieties, a skilled writer can keep readers riveted to the page and desperate for a resolution.

But how exactly do you manage to inspire fear in a reader?

There are a few key elements that are essential to writing effective suspenseful or tension-filled scenes.

• First, it’s important to figure out what the character is afraid of . This can be something specific like spiders or fear of heights, or something more general like the dark or being alone.
• Once the character’s fear is established, it’s time to ramp up the tension . This can be done by slowly introducing elements that trigger the character’s fear, up to a climax where the character is confronted with their worst nightmare.

One of the most important things to remember when writing suspenseful scenes is that less is often more. It’s often the things that are left unsaid or hinted at that are most effective at creating fear in the reader.

By hinting at the horror without showing it, you can create an atmosphere of unease and dread that will keep the reader hanging on your every word.

How Fear Can Be Used to Connect the Reader More to the Character

One way to make sure your characters are relatable is to make sure they experience a whole range of emotions, including fear. Fear is a universal emotion that everyone can relate to, and it can be a powerful tool for connecting readers to your characters through effective character development.

Fear can be a powerful character flaw, that enables a whole main character arc to be drawn. The essential motivation of the character can be to overcome the fear – be it rational or irrational.

When done well, fear can heighten tension, create suspense, and evoke empathy for the character. For example, when a character is faced with a dangerous situation, the reader is likely to be just as scared as the character. This can create a sense of tension and draw the reader more into the story.

If a character is afraid of something the reader is also afraid of, this can create empathy and allow the reader to share in the character’s journey.

However, it’s important to use fear sparingly and only when it’s meaningful to the story. If every scene is filled with fear, it quickly becomes overwhelming and loses its impact. Instead, use fear wisely to create moments that truly touch your readers.

Use sensory details. Describing what the character sees, hears, feels, smells, and tastes can make the reader feel like they’re experiencing fear with the character.

It’s also important to use strong verbs that convey the intensity of the feeling. Words like “screaming,” “cowering,” and “trembling” can help paint a vivid picture of the character’s fear.

Finally, it’s helpful to use figurative language to describe the character’s experience. You can use similes and metaphors to capture the feeling of fear in a single phrase.

Mastering the Art of Describing Fear in Writing

Emotional Wellbeing

Fear is a powerful emotion that has the ability to captivate readers and keep them on the edge of their seats. As a writer, mastering the art of describing fear in writing is essential in order to evoke that intense and visceral response from your audience. Whether you’re writing a horror novel, a suspenseful thriller, or a heart-pounding action sequence, understanding how to effectively describe fear can take your storytelling to the next level. In this article, we will explore various techniques and strategies for mastering the art of describing fear in writing, along with examples and insights from famous horror authors. So, let’s dive in and uncover the secrets to creating spine-chilling scenes that will leave your readers breathless.

Understanding the Psychology of Fear

Before we can effectively describe fear in writing, it’s important to understand the psychology behind it. Fear is a primal emotion that is hardwired into our brain and body as a survival mechanism. It triggers the “fight, flight, or freeze” response, preparing us to either confront or flee from a perceived threat. When describing fear in writing, it’s crucial to tap into these fundamental instincts and convey the intensity of the emotion.

Different Types of Fears and Their Origins

Fears come in many shapes and forms, each with its own unique origins. From childhood traumas to phobias and anxieties, understanding the various types of fears can help you create more complex and relatable characters. Some common types of fears include:

Phobias are irrational and intense fears of specific objects, situations, or creatures. They often stem from a traumatic or negative experience and can range from common phobias like arachnophobia (fear of spiders) to more uncommon ones such as trypophobia (fear of clusters of small holes).

Example: “Her heart raced and her palms grew sweaty as she sensed the eight-legged creature crawling up her arm. The sight of its long hairy legs sent a wave of uncontrollable terror coursing through her veins, paralyzing her with fear.”

2. Existential Fears

Existential fears revolve around the human condition and the fear of death, meaninglessness, or the unknown. These fears can tap into deep-rooted anxieties and add a layer of existential dread to your writing.

Example: “The darkness enveloped him, suffocating his senses. As he stood in the vast emptiness of the abandoned house, an unsettling realization crept into his mind – the insignificance of his existence in the grand scheme of the universe.”

3. Emotional Fears

Emotional fears are tied to personal vulnerabilities and emotional traumas. These fears can manifest as a fear of rejection, abandonment, or betrayal, adding a psychological depth to your characters.

Example: “His heart pounded with an overwhelming fear of intimacy. The thought of exposing his true self and being vulnerable was a terrifying prospect, forcing him to retreat into the safety of solitude.”

Techniques for Creating a Thrilling Atmosphere

Creating a thrilling atmosphere is essential when describing fear in writing. A well-crafted atmosphere can heighten the tension and immerse readers in the fear-inducing world you’ve created. Here are some techniques to consider:

1. Set the Scene

Paint a vivid picture of the environment in which the fear takes place. Use descriptive language to set the mood and establish an eerie or unsettling atmosphere. Consider elements such as lighting, weather, and the surrounding sounds to create an immersive experience for the reader.

Example: “The moonless night cast long shadows, cloaking the old graveyard in darkness. The rustling leaves whispered secrets, amplifying the sense of foreboding that clung to the air.”

2. Use Foreshadowing

Build anticipation and suspense by dropping subtle hints or foreshadowing events that will trigger fear. Foreshadowing can create a sense of unease and make the eventual fear more impactful.

Example: “A distant howl echoed through the forest, warning of the horrors yet to come. The hairs on her neck stood on end, as if sensitive to the predator lurking just beyond the treeline.”

3. Manipulate Pacing

Play with the pacing of your writing to control the rhythm and intensity of fear. Slow down during suspenseful moments to create tension, then speed up during peak moments of fear to mirror the adrenaline rush experienced by the characters.

Example: “Her footsteps echoed through the empty hallway, each one causing her heart to race faster. Suddenly, a deafening crash jolted her from her thoughts, and she sprinted towards the source of the sound, the fear propelling her forward.”

Exploring the Use of Sensory Details in Describing Fear

When it comes to describing fear, sensory details can be incredibly powerful in creating a visceral experience for your readers. By engaging multiple senses, you can immerse your audience in the terrifying moments you’ve crafted. Here are some sensory details to consider:

1. Visual Details

Describe the visual elements associated with fear. Use vivid and evocative language to paint a vivid picture of what the characters see, such as shadows, grotesque creatures, or disturbing images.

Example: “The room was dimly lit, casting long, twisted shadows on the peeling wallpaper. In the corner, a cracked mirror reflected her terrified face, distorted and unrecognizable.”

2. Auditory Details

Focus on the sounds that accompany fear. Is it the sound of footsteps approaching, a menacing whisper, or the creaking of a door? By incorporating auditory details, you can enhance the sense of unease.

Example: “The silence was shattered by a bloodcurdling scream that echoed through the empty house, raising the hair on the back of their necks. The sound seemed to penetrate their very souls, leaving them paralyzed with fear.”

3. Tactile Details

Describe the physical sensations associated with fear. Sweat dripping down the character’s back, a pounding heartbeat, or the sensation of a clammy hand can all help convey the intensity of fear.

Example: “His hands shook uncontrollably, clammy with dread and the cold sheen of perspiration. Each breath felt shallow and sharp, as if his lungs were unable to fully expand in the grip of fear.”

The Role of Suspense in Building Fear

Suspense is a crucial element in building fear and keeping readers engaged. By keeping them in a state of heightened anticipation, you can effectively amplify the impact of fear-inducing moments. Here are some techniques to create suspense:

1. Delayed Gratification

Hold back on revealing crucial information or the climax of a scary event. By delaying gratification, you can build tension and keep readers on the edge of their seats.

Example: “Her hand trembled as she reached for the doorknob, her anticipation mounting with each second. What lay behind the closed door was a mystery, and she couldn’t resist the irresistible pull of the unknown.”

2. Cliffhangers

End chapters or sections of your story on a suspenseful note, leaving readers wanting more. This technique can be highly effective in maintaining the momentum and anticipation throughout your narrative.

Example: “He turned the corner and came face to face with a horrifying sight. The reality of the situation hit him like a freight train, leaving him paralyzed with fear. Little did he know, things were about to get much worse.”

3. Subtle Hints

Drop subtle hints or clues that foreshadow impending danger. This will heighten readers’ senses and keep them engaged as they anticipate what’s to come.

Example: “The flickering streetlight cast eerie shadows on the abandoned alley. Something didn’t feel right, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. Instinctively, she quickened her pace, desperate to escape the encroaching darkness.”

Tips for Evoking Fear in Readers Through Vivid Language

Language is a powerful tool when it comes to evoking fear in readers. By choosing your words carefully and using vivid language, you can create a chilling atmosphere and leave a lasting impact. Here are some tips:

1. Use Strong Verbs

Opt for strong and dynamic verbs that convey action and intensity. This will add power to your descriptions and make the fear more palpable.

Example: “The beast lunged at her, its monstrous jaws snapping inches from her face. Her heart raced as she narrowly escaped its deadly grasp, the adrenaline pumping through her veins.”

2. Harness the Power of Metaphors and Similes

Metaphors and similes can be effective tools in describing fear. They allow you to draw comparisons that engage the reader’s imagination and add depth to your descriptions.

Example: “The fear consumed her like a voracious flame, devouring every trace of courage within her. It gnawed at her sanity, leaving behind only the ashes of her former self.”

3. Create Vivid Imagery

Paint a vibrant picture in the reader’s mind by utilizing descriptive imagery. Engage the senses and make the fear come alive through vivid and evocative language.

Example: “The stench of decay hung heavy in the air, its putrid tendrils curling around her like an invisible serpent. The taste of fear lingered in her mouth, bitter and metallic.”

Analyzing Famous Horror Authors’ Approaches to Describing Fear

Learning from the masters of horror can provide valuable insights into how to effectively describe fear in writing. Let’s take a closer look at the approaches of some famous horror authors:

1. Stephen King

Stephen King is known for his ability to tap into our deepest fears. He often combines mundane settings with supernatural elements to create a sense of unease and terror.

Example: “The clown stood under the streetlight, its painted smile stretching wider and wider until it split open, revealing rows of razor-sharp teeth. Its eyes glowed with malevolence, promising unspeakable horrors lurking just beneath the surface.”

2. H.P. Lovecraft

H.P. Lovecraft’s writing evokes a sense of cosmic terror. He often describes entities or dimensions that are beyond human comprehension, emphasizing the insignificance of humanity in the face of the unknown.

Example: “The ancient tome revealed secrets that should have remained buried, its pages filled with blasphemous incantations that tore at his sanity. As he read the forbidden words, he caught a glimpse of the eldritch horrors that lurked beyond the veil of reality.”

3. Shirley Jackson

Shirley Jackson’s approach to fear is more psychological, focusing on the unraveling of the human mind. She cultivates an atmosphere of dread and explores the darkness that resides within us all.

Example: “The house breathed with a sinister presence, its walls whispering dark secrets that only she could hear. Every creak of the floorboards echoed with the weight of her own guilt, slowly driving her to the brink of madness.”

Overcoming Writer’s Block When Writing Fearful Scenes

Writer’s block can be a formidable challenge when trying to write fearful scenes. The pressure to create a gripping atmosphere and evoke fear can sometimes stifle creativity. Here are some strategies to overcome writer’s block:

1. Freewriting

Allow yourself to write without judgment or self-editing. Let your thoughts flow freely and explore different ideas, even if they seem disjointed or unrelated. Sometimes, the act of writing without constraints can unlock your creativity.

2. Seek Inspiration

Find inspiration in other forms of media, such as books, movies, or artwork. Exposing yourself to different narratives and storytelling techniques can spark new ideas and help you overcome creative roadblocks.

3. Change Your Environment

If you’re feeling stuck, try changing your writing environment. Move to a different location, go for a walk, or find a quiet space where you can fully immerse yourself in your writing. Sometimes, a change of scenery can stimulate your creativity.

Examining the Impact of Fear on Character Development

Fear can be a powerful catalyst for character development. When characters are faced with intense fear, it reveals their true nature, strengths, and weaknesses. It provides an opportunity for growth and transformation. Consider the following aspects:

1. Confronting Fears

Character arcs often revolve around characters confronting and overcoming their deepest fears. This allows for a powerful narrative arc and provides a sense of triumph and growth for the characters.

2. Vulnerability and Resilience

Fear exposes vulnerabilities, showcasing a character’s resilience and ability to overcome adversity. It allows readers to connect with the characters on a deeper level and root for their success.

3. Change in Values

Experiencing fear can challenge a character’s core beliefs and values. As they confront their fears, they may reevaluate their priorities and make difficult choices, leading to significant character development.

Mastering the Art of Pacing in Fear-Inducing Storytelling

Pacing plays a crucial role in fear-inducing storytelling. By effectively controlling the rhythm and tempo of your narrative, you can build tension and deliver fear in a captivating manner. Here are some tips for mastering the art of pacing:

1. Vary Sentence Lengths

Experiment with both short, punchy sentences and longer, more descriptive ones. Short sentences can create a sense of urgency, while longer sentences can slow down the pace and build anticipation.

2. Utilize Cliffhangers

End chapters or sections with cliffhangers to keep readers engaged and eager for what’s to come. This will maintain the momentum of the story and increase the overall sense of fear and suspense.

3. Alternate Action and Reflection

Alternate between intense action sequences and moments of reflection or introspection. This balance allows readers to catch their breath while still maintaining a sense of fear and anticipation.

In conclusion, mastering the art of describing fear in writing is a skill that can greatly enhance the impact of your storytelling. Understanding the psychology behind fear, exploring different types of fears, creating a thrilling atmosphere, utilizing sensory details, and mastering the use of suspense and vivid language are all important components. By analyzing the approaches of famous horror authors, overcoming writer’s block, examining the impact of fear on character development, and mastering the art of pacing, you can take your readers on a gripping and fear-inducing journey that will leave a lasting impression. So, embrace the fear, and let your storytelling skills shine.

Conveying Fear through Character Reactions

When it comes to describing fear in writing, one effective technique is conveying it through character reactions. By focusing on how characters physically and emotionally respond to frightening situations, writers can effectively immerse readers and intensify the sense of fear. Understanding and mastering this art of conveying fear through character reactions can greatly enhance the impact of your writing.

1. Physical Reactions: Characters experiencing fear often exhibit various physical reactions that can be described to create a vivid and realistic scene. These reactions may include trembling, sweating, racing heartbeat, shallow breathing, nausea, or even freezing in place. By incorporating such physical sensations in your writing, readers can truly feel the fear alongside the characters.

2. Emotional Responses: Fear also triggers specific emotional responses, and capturing these emotions is crucial in engaging readers. Common emotional reactions to fear include anxiety, panic, terror, unease, or a sense of impending doom. Describing these emotions in detail can allow your readers to intimately connect with the characters and experience their fear firsthand.

3. Behavioral Changes: Fear can significantly alter a character’s behavior, and portraying these changes can provide valuable insights into their state of mind. Characters may become hyper-vigilant, jumpy, or even act out of character due to fear. Incorporating these behavioral changes into the narrative can deepen the atmosphere of fear and make it more relatable for readers.

4. Internal Monologue: When characters experience fear, their thoughts and internal monologue can add depth to the description. By revealing their inner turmoil, doubts, or desperate pleas to a higher power, you can provide readers with an intimate glimpse into their psyche. This technique enables you to not only describe the fear but also explore the character’s vulnerability and resilience in the face of terrifying situations.

5. Dialogue: Another effective way to convey fear is through character dialogue. Fear-driven conversations, whether between characters or within a character’s internal thoughts, can bring the tension to life. Stuttering, fragmented sentences, or even silence during moments of extreme fear can be employed to intensify the sense of fear within the reader.

By leveraging these techniques and carefully crafting character reactions, writers can master the art of describing fear in writing. The vivid portrayal of physical, emotional, and behavioral responses will allow readers to experience the fear alongside the characters, deepening the impact and immersing them fully in the story.

Creating Atmosphere through Descriptions of Setting

Mastering the art of describing fear in writing extends beyond character reactions – it also involves creating a compelling atmosphere through the descriptions of setting. By carefully crafting the physical environment in which fearful scenes unfold, writers can enhance the feeling of unease and suspense, intensifying the overall sense of fear experienced by readers.

1. Creaking Floorboards and Drafty Hallways: Descriptions of old, decrepit houses with creaking floorboards and drafty hallways can contribute to the eerie atmosphere. These settings give readers a sense of being in a space filled with unknown and potentially terrifying elements, further enhancing the fear-inducing experience.

2. Dark and Isolated Locations: Setting fearful scenes in desolate, isolated locations can create an atmosphere of vulnerability. When characters are isolated, surrounded by darkness, or cut off from civilization, the potential dangers become more palpable. Descriptive language that highlights the darkness and solitude can evoke a sense of extreme trepidation in readers.

3. Harsh Weather Conditions: Depicting intense weather conditions, such as thunderstorms, fog, or blizzards, can contribute to the atmosphere of fear. The unpredictable and uncontrollable nature of the weather mirrors the characters’ emotional state and adds an extra layer of tension to the narrative, heightening the readers’ sense of unease.

4. Symbolic Objects: Incorporating symbolic objects related to fear into the setting can create a lasting impact on readers. For example, a worn-out and broken doll in a child’s bedroom can evoke a sense of dread. Describing these objects with particular attention to their appearance and history can enhance the atmosphere of fear and provide additional depth to the narrative.

5. Unsettling Sounds: Describing eerie and unsettling sounds, such as whispers or footsteps in an empty hallway, can significantly contribute to the atmosphere of fear. These sounds add an element of mystery and unknown, creating a sense of anticipation and dread for readers. By using descriptive language to evoke these sounds, writers can heighten readers’ sense of fear and keep them engaged.

By skillfully incorporating these techniques into their writing, authors can master the art of describing fear through setting descriptions. The vivid portrayal of creaking floorboards, dark and isolated locations, harsh weather conditions, symbolic objects, and unsettling sounds will immerse readers into an atmosphere rife with fear and suspense.

FAQS – Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Why is it important to effectively describe fear in writing? A: Effectively describing fear in writing helps to immerse readers in the story, evoke emotions, and create a heightened sense of tension and suspense.

Q: How can I convey fear through sensory details in writing? A: By incorporating sensory details such as describing the pounding heartbeat, trembling hands, cold sweat, or the hairs standing on the back of the neck, you can effectively convey fear in writing.

Q: What are some common writing mistakes to avoid when describing fear? A: Some common writing mistakes to avoid when describing fear include using clichés, overusing adjectives, telling instead of showing, or providing excessive detail that can dilute the impact.

Q: How can I create an atmosphere of fear through setting description? A: Utilize detailed and vivid descriptions of the setting, such as dilapidated buildings, eerie silence, or lurking shadows, to create an atmosphere of fear that enhances the reader’s experience.

Q: Are there any recommended techniques or literary devices to enhance the description of fear in writing? A: Yes, some recommended techniques include using similes and metaphors to compare the fear to something tangible, employing onomatopoeia to describe unsettling sounds, and utilizing varied sentence structures to match the intensity and pace of the fear being depicted.

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32 Ways To Write About Fear

In this post, we have included 32 things for you to consider when you write about fear .

One of our most popular posts on Writers Write is  37 Ways To Write About Anger . We thought we would look at interesting ways to write about other emotions, including:

• 43 Ways To Write About Love
• 29 Ways To Write About Happiness
• 40 Ways To Write About Empathy
• 37 Ways To Write About Grief

In this post, we look at writing about fear .

How do we write about fear in an authentic way?

Fear is a vital response for human beings. If we didn’t feel fear, we couldn’t protect ourselves from threats. Our bodies and brains are wired to treat threats as life-threatening. This triggers an extreme fight-flight-or-freeze response.

Our fears are not solely dependent on instinctive responses. They are also shaped by our societies and cultures, which teach people when to fear and how much to fear.

Sometimes, our fear is unnecessary and we avoid doing things that could be beneficial to us. Sometimes, facing danger can result in lingering  responses that trigger us to act in a certain way, even when the risk is gone.

The same is true for the characters we create. When we write about fearful characters, we should remember to write about them in a realistic way.

Here are 32 things to consider when you write about fear:

A)  Physical Reactions

When we are afraid, we have these reactions:

• An accelerated breathing rate
• An accelerated heart rate
• Increased muscle tension
• Goose bumps
• Increased blood glucose
• Increased white blood cells
• Sleep disturbances
• Butterflies in the stomach
• Difficulty concentrating
• Difficulty swallowing

All of these responses help us to survive by either running away or fighting. Use these physical reactions to show your character is afraid.

B)  Body Language

In your body language,  signs of fear  include:

• Hunching shoulders
• Shrinking away
• Wrapping arms around oneself
• Shaking hands
• Rocking from side to side

C)  Rational Or Irrational?

• Fear is rational. It is a reasonable response to danger.
• Phobias are irrational. They are persistent, irrational fears of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it. Read:  Writing About Characters With Phobias

D)   Ways To Create Conflict With Fear

There are three classic ways people respond to fear. They fight, flee, or freeze. Use these responses to create suspense in your book.

• Fight – choose when your characters would reasonably stay to confront the danger.
• Flight – choose when your character would reasonably choose to run away.
• Freeze – choose when your character would realistically become paralysed with fear.

Use these three responses at different times to show different aspects of your character. Use them when they suit your plot.

[TOP TIP: Use our Character Creation Kit to help you create great characters for your stories.]

E)  The Importance Of Fear In Plotting

• You can create a fearful situation to move a plot forward.
• You can literally change the setting by making characters move to avoid a threat.
• You can increase or decrease the pace of a story by introducing a threat.
• You can show another facet of the character in the way he or she reacts to fear.
• You can use it to show growth. Characters can look at the way fear made them act and change their behaviour.

Top Tip : Find out more about our  workbooks  and  online courses  in our  shop .

© Amanda Patterson

If you liked this article ,  you may enjoy

• 37 Ways To Write About Anger
• Why You Need A Premise In Fiction
• 7 Ways To Create Suspense In Your Memoir
• Body Language , Creating Characters , Description , Show Don't Tell , Writing Tips from Amanda Patterson

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Describing Fear

I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4

Fear is a re-occurring emotion in fiction especially in thrillers. Use the following examples to accurately describe the level of fear your character is experiencing.

A stab of fear

A prick of fear

These thoughts are like needles jabbing at my skin

Fear/ sweat prickles over my skin

All of my anxieties come tumbling back

Dizzying sense of anxiety

It sends a brusque bolt of shock right through me

A bullet of panic rises in my throat

Eyes darkened with worry

Darkness gathered in her eyes and filled it

My stomach flips

Paralyzed by fear

Consumed by paranoia

Vibrating with anxiety

Wobbling with shock

Fear crawls over my body, prickling my skin

Fear squeezes the air from my lungs

A blind panic

Worry gnaws away at me

I sigh with despair

An icy cold calm washes over me chilling thought

All I feel is desperate despair

I feel a rush of fear

My stomach churns

Panic surges through me

I feel a dull ache in my chest

My throat squeezes shut

A deep sense of uneasiness held me rigid

Her gaze went through me like a blast of Ice

She gave me a quick nervous glance

She threw me a warning glance

She drew a sharp breath

I could hear the slow, dragging beat of my heart

My heart was clenching with dread

She felt a sharp bolt of fear

She felt a flutter of panic

It gave me chills

She made terrible, strangled sounds

I felt as if I couldn’t breathe

The weight of my anxiety

I said with alarm

Fear chilled my heart

Her face was a mask of alarm

I felt my spirits sink

I felt my chest constrict

I swallowed hard

I was frowning with worry

He was overcome by a flat sense of depression

My heart gave a lurch

My heart was hampering in my chest

She looked at me with fear in her eyes

Rigid with fear

Choked with horror

A harassing anxiety

Frozen in silence

I realized with a kind of panic

There was a faint note of hysteria in her eyes

My nerves were on fire

His eyes were lined with anxiety

I watched with numb horror

Tumbling anxiety

His eyes were flat with resignation

Feeling the cursing wave of despair

Her face grew dramatically stricken

My muscles stiffened

Panic bloomed in my chest

His eyes were big and worried

An anxious expectancy rose in his chest

She turned pink with distress

My heart turned cold

My insides dropped with disappointment and fear

Ravaged with despair

Chagrined – feel distressed to humiliated – he was chagrined when his friend poured scorn on him.

His face was flat and white

Our throats clenched

My breath caught in my throat

Her eyes jumped with fear

He went cold at the thought

A child crept through him

A tingling dread crept through her body

He glanced urgently at her, eyes wide, sweat beading on his lip

His heart was thundering

His face turned grey

The words thudded in his skull

Dread crawled up his spine

His pulsed raced

Filled with dread

A shuddering sigh

Churning in his gut

I took a hot, impatient breath

My blood went cold

I saw a glint of fear in her eye

A twinge of fear

Mu insides tighten

Fear prickled at the base of my spine

Her pulse skyrocketed

Her knees buckled

My skin prickles

Panic roared through me

She felt a tingling coarse through her

Her voice was shaking

My stomach / Legs / insides turn to jelly

My voice was frozen in my throat

The hair on my arms / back of my neck stand up

Anxiety gnaws at me 

My heart jack hammers

My mind is roaring with panic

I startle awake

The shrill sound had made her heart take flight

My throat thickens

My heart buckled

A tangled mass of anxiety

I feel sick with fear

The hairs on my arm prickle

A sense of menace

They stare in silent horror

Hi face was white with fear

Eyes wide with fear

She felt the blood drain from her face.

Sweating with nerves

He looks at her in growing horror

Her anxiety, spiking

She feels a terrible anxiety creeping over her

A troubled sleep

A clutch of fear at her heart

I feel light headed as if I might be sick

He feels a tremor of fear go up his spine

The ensuing silence is one laden with terror

She feels the bile rising in her throat

Her adrenaline surges

Frozen in disbelief

A chilll creeps over her like cold fingers over her body

Adrenaline shoots through her system

Her heart begins to beat wildly

Her heart knocking at her ribs

He can feel himself unravelling

She blanches slightly

A suggestion of panic

I take a sharp breath in

Fear rushes over her, a dark suffocating wave

Cold fingers of fear brushed against her neck

Bile rising in her throat

Her heart was thudding at the back of her throat

A mask of blank terror

Something inside her wrenched and soured

A flash of white, hot terror

Her heart seized

She felt a clutch of fear

Paper thin nerves

His legs went weak

The blind terror on her face

Rising tide of panic

A spark of fear

HIs knee began to judder under the desk

A lick of fear went up his spine

A stifling wave of fear swept over me

A terrible sickening dread came over me

The sight of him slows my blood

Fear shimmers through out my body. It’s hard to breathe

Fury seizes me

Panic shoots through me

The panic thrums

He takes a shaky breath

His chest tightened

Unease unfurled in her chest

An icy current went up and down my spine.

I felt sweat cling to the back of my neck, dampening my hair

A thrill of fear

My nerves jangle

My chest constricted and my throat closed

A fist of panic squeezes me inside

She stood with alarm

Her spine tingling with fear

She watches, her nerves splintering

A scream rumbled up her throat

Her throat closed up in terror

A slike of anxiety

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Amazing! I’m a 14-year-old author and these phrases are absolutely amazing! I’m so glad that I stumbled upon this website 🙂

Hi Mary, I am an unpublished writer. I think your site is amazing. Thanks for the descriptive tips.

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Let’s Write Fear

From a fright when the spider lands on your arm, to being scared of the weird guy on the blind date, to full-blown terror when a dragon sticks its head out of the cave and you left your sword at home, fear is one of the most complex emotions that we’ve all had to deal with in our everyday life. Unfortunately, this one isn’t reserved for traumatic events. It’s also guaranteed to be in most manuscripts, regardless of genre. Any good book has a moment where the character is afraid – a little or a lot, it doesn’t matter – so this keeps the clichés rolling in.

The good news is that you can actually plan the responses your characters will have to fear in advance, in the plotting phase. You need to understand them to understand their fears (which often go hand in hand with their motivations). Do they have a specific phobia? Do they suffer from PTSD? Are they just easily frightened? When you understand what motivates their fear, you’ll know with what intensity the emotion (or sub-emotions of fear) must be portrayed.

Fear seemed like a natural progression from excitement and nerves , since those emotions share so many traits with anxiety, which is often a direct result of fear. Because of that, you’ll see some anxious traits in this post too. I also have a pretty comprehensive breakdown of my personal experience with panic attacks , which might help with writing those.

A last note before we start. The most effective way to portray a character’s fear isn’t to show just their physical responses in the moment. When you sprinkle little snippets of what they’re afraid of throughout the story, the reader will not only know the character is afraid, but will be afraid for the character when the moment of truth arrives. For example, we all know Indiana Jones isn’t afraid of much, but he hates snakes. We follow him through many situations where normal characters would have flipped out, but he keeps his cool. Then, when he’s faced with snakes, we all know he’s scared shitless, and we feel it too. It’s always a good thing when the reader is immersed enough to feel what the character is feeling, amiright?

Fearful Body Language and Speech

• Drawing back. Either retreating a few steps, or remaining in the same place, but pulling back the torso (flight).
• Maintaining a large area of personal space. If the character is afraid of a specific person or thing, they’ll take care to keep their bodies facing slightly away from the person/thing, ready to dash if needed.
• Another flight trait shows in any movement that covers the face or torso. This is a subconscious action to protect oneself and usually goes along with actions that make the character seem smaller, like slouching or shoulders drawn together. Hands over the heart, arms crossed over the chest or stomach (usually when the character also hunches), hiding the face in the crook of the elbow, or covering the face with both hands, hands stretched out in a ‘stop’ gesture etc. When sitting, the character might pull their legs up and hide their face behind the knees, cross their legs, or sit on their legs while bent over so their forehead can touch the ground (especially when hiding).
• The character might become more aggressive , and might puff out their chest or spread their legs in a stance that prepares them to fight.
• Characters who become aggressive when afraid might advance on, or even attack, the person/thing causing their fear.
• Freezing in place. Stoic characters or characters trying to hide their fear will often freeze, but since these are usually characters who are more thoughtful or cunning overall, they’ll keep thinking of a way out. As always, these characters will try their best to seem calm, so they’ll often have a relaxed stance. The tells will be in microexpressions, the tightening of muscles, hair rising, rapid breathing and colour draining, which aren’t so easily hidden.
• Acting out of character. Independent characters might become more clingy and needy, timid characters might become more vocal or might even take lead of the situation, and strong characters might become subservient, allowing others to tell them what to do. Fear will allow some characters to become calm and levelheaded.
• When survival instinct kicks in, some characters might stop caring about the fate of others, their own safety takes priority. Other characters will care less about themselves and more about others. Adrenaline might cause reckless behaviour in both cases.
• Clumsiness and fumbling.
• Balled fists, or fists rhythmically opening and closing.
• Shaking hands.
• Hands thrown in the air.
• Clutching at other characters or objects.
• Like with nervousness , rubbing and self-soothing, or putting clothing, fingers, hair or objects in the mouth.
• Rocking from side to side or any kind of swaying motion.
• Biting fingernails.
• Fidgeting or squirming.
• Avoiding eye contact OR the inability to stop staring at someone/something.
• Goose bumps.
• Excessive sweating.
• Heavy breathing.
• Shaking the head.
• Speaking quickly, half-forming words.
• Repeating words or phrases.
• Saying inappropriate things, joking or randomly laughing.
• Speaking only when the character has no other choice, and then only in single words or short sentences.
• A character might also be unable to stop speaking.
• Dry, husky voice, OR a high-pitched, shrill voice.
• Speaking very softly, mumbling.
• Sharply inhaling, or hissing.
• Many characters will go completely limp when their fear is spent.

Fearful Expressions

• Eyes wide open, showing a lot of the sclera.
• Eyebrows raised, but drawn together.
• The eyebrows could also be raised but kept straight.
• Open mouth, with the lips tight. This is different from surprise in that a surprised mouth opens up like an ‘O’, while a scared mouth kind of flattens into a sideways oval. The corners of the mouth pull back and the lips might cover the front teeth.
• A quivering mouth.
• Licking lips.
• Biting lips.
• Jaw clenched with exposed teeth.
• Flaring nostrils.
• Dilated pupils.
• Rapid blinking.
• If they’re trying to hide their fear, they might smile. The fake smile doesn’t crinkle the corners of the eyes and seems tight.

What Fear Feels Like

• Cold hands or feet.
• Tingling skin.
• Heart palpitations.
• Rapid breath, feeling like you can’t breathe.
• Chest pains.
• Blurred vision, or black spots at the edges of your vision.
• The sensation of choking.
• Lightheadedness or dizziness.
• Being unable to think clearly, OR being too aware of everything around you and being unable to stop thinking.
• Hypersensitivity.
• Nausea or an upset stomach.
• Feeling the need to urinate.
• Tight muscles.
• Being unable to sleep.
• Skin that itches (some characters might break out in hives when in situations that cause excessive fear).
• Cold sweat.
• Thought spirals.
• Feeling numb or removed from the situation.
• Feeling irritable.
• Feeling trapped or as if you have no control.
• Feeling unable to speak.
• Being unable to move, OR being unable to stop moving.
• Feeling as if everything around you is moving slowly, while you’re moving too fast.
• Being more aware of the passage of time.

If you’d like to revisit the other posts in this series, have a look here . I’ll be back with another emotion in two weeks. 🙂

Until next time.

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BRYN DONOVAN

tell your stories, love your life

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Tag: describing fear in a story

Master List of Ways to Describe Fear

People have been asking me for this list for such a long time! If you write horror, suspense, mystery, or any kind of fiction with a scary scenes, you need to know how to describe fear. This list can get you started. It’s a lot of phrases describing fear, including physical reactions, physical sensations, facial expressions, and other words you

Dive Into The Soul Of Storytelling With Deep Point Of View

How To Write Fear That Connects Emotionally With Readers

When writing in deep point of view, do your beta readers figuratively yawn at what are supposed to be your scariest scenes? Deep POV was supposed to create an emotional connection with readers, so why isn’t it working?

Fear is a universal emotion, so if you want fear to actually come across to readers, then you need to explore the root causes, make it individual, and keep surprising your readers.

Why Writing Fear Well Is So Hard

The problem is that as writers, fear is an emotion we’ve felt so often that we gloss over it. We’re neither going shallow (when writing in deep pov) to surprise readers, nor going deep to pull them in closer. Rather, many put a foot in both techniques which has the effect of glossing over, summarizing, or skimming over details. This strategy offers no surprise, no tension, no feelings for readers.

This post contains affiliate links, meaning, if you click through and make a purchase on Amazon.com, I may earn a small commission at no additional cost to you.

Remember, as common as fear is to you, the writer, it’s equally common to readers.

“Listen to genre writers talk and you’d think that their stories are designed to evoke only one gigantic feeling, perhaps dread, terror, joy or love. While there’s nothing wrong with hoping readers will feel those things, mostly they do not. Why? Partly because those feelings are familiar and the scenarios that are suppposed to evoke them are humdrum…Just remember this: details. Details have the power of suggestion. Suggestion evokes feelings in readers, drawing them out rather than pounding them with emotional hammer blows.” The Emotional Craft of Fiction , Donald Maass

Looking for help describing fear? Check out the entry on fear in The Emotion Thesaurus . Find a short description here.

Do You Know Why Your Character Is Scared Now And In This Place ?

Because fear is universal, there are a wide range of gradients and intensities. Let’s look at a few:

Afraid. Anxious. Petrified. Shaken. Terrifed. Aghast. Panicked. Rattled. Frightened. Frozen. Upset. Shocked. Spooked. Daunted. Disheartened. Horrifed. Nervous. Intimidated. Timid. Apprehensive. Dread. Fearful. Uneasy. Troubled. Jumpy. Twitchy. Overwrought. Helplessness.

What causes apprehension in one person causes panic or terror in another. What’s the difference? Ask your character what are their stakes in this particular scene. What do they stand to lose, what are they risking, what’s on the line? Their answer could be anything from an irrational – there’s a spider in there to risking their identity or reputation, or maybe even a life-threatening circumstance.

Context is important. That scary biker with his leather and tattoos might have one person crossing the street to avoid, but the child he’s picking up from school runs to him with arms open wide.

If we see a lion in a zoo, separated from us by concrete trenches or fences, we take photos and comment on how cute or majestic they look. Put us on the Savannah nearing nightfall and we hear a lion’s roar, our assessment of the threat level will be significantly different.

**Side Note** My brother lived near a sketchy zoo for a few years (now closed) and they had a couple of male lions. Those lions could be heard roaring for a very long distance at night. It’s such a foreign sound in Canada. A black bear, wolf or coyote howl might give me shivers. That lion roar though, it reached deep into my gut and detonated. Felt like I’d been kicked in the chest. It was all I could do to stay in my chair and not run for the house.

Get to the root cause of the fear for your character. What past experiences (theirs or someone they know, something they’ve read or been taught) that’s informing or coloring their risk assessment of this scenario? In my Deep Point Of View Masterclass, a common comment I make is “I don’t know WHY they’re …” I can see the character is afraid, but are they afraid for themselves, for someone else, at the situation, or what the situation might mean? This level of specificity helps the reader identify with the character and cheer for them.

How Your Character Reacts To Fear Should Surprise And Inform Readers

Every character should react uniquely to fear because they should have their own perceptions of the threat, unique goals and motivations in any given scene or scenario, and personality quirks and predispositions that guide them towards one response over another in any given situation.

Fear is a primary emotion that triggers an autonomic reaction: fight, flight or freeze. Someone with elite military training should react differently to a surprise assailant than someone without that training. They will have a different threat assessement that someone who isn’t sure of their ability to defend themselves. Now, if that soldier has their child with them, their threat assessment will be different again. If the assailant strikes in a dark parking lot where help is far away, that soldier’s measured reaction might be different based on their perception of how far away help is.

Every situation and every character (their past experiences, their perceived threat assesment, and the context) should lead to unique reactions in every scene. If it doesn’t, either you’re skimming or summarizing the events (and likely the reader doesn’t know THE WHY), you don’t know your character well enough, or you’re recreating the same scenario over and over with little variation. All of these should be avoided.

Now, how a character responds to fear shows readers a great deal about what’s important to that character, what they prioritize, their strengths and weaknesses, their character, etc. The conflict between what a character feels and thinks vs what they DO and SAY can be full of rich subtext and understanding for readers. When trying to decide how your character should react to fear, ask them what would a better person do, what would a stronger person do, what would someone who doesn’t care do, what would someone who’s already angry do… etc. You get the idea, right. Be strategic!

Prime Your Readers For A Great Scare!

Ever had to prime something? When camping, we had this old camp stove that required one to pump up and down on a lever before trying to light the fuel to cook with. It was building up internal pressure and with fiction we do this either through anticipation or surprise (primarily).

The plot twist, the switcheroo, the SURPRISE! Think about how you could prime readers towards a particular emotion. Let’s say our main character is a 10yo boy who has a single mom, but she works a lot. She’s often angry and yells for no reason. He comes home from school and she’s throwing dishes in the kitchen so hard they smash. She’s cursing loud enough for the neighbors to hear. He sits down for dinner and she slams her chair into place and drops into her chair. He’s slow reaching for the potatoes so she shoves the bowl towards him. “Eat.” The kid hunches his shoulders, stares at his thighs, and breaks down in tears.

That kid was primed for a fear response, Mom didn’t have to do anything threatening for him to react to the fear his body had been denying. Mom might not understand why he’s crying. The kid may not know why he’s crying. But your reader will know and they will CARE about this kid.

Anticipation is a slow build-up to something scary you can see coming but dread all the same. Imagine walking home each day from work past your neighbor’s yard where a giant St. Bernard waits for you every day. That dog erupts at the sight of you on the sidewalk and barks and snarls predictably. Today, the St. Bernard gets loose.

You’ve played this scenario out in your mind. You’ve imagined this very worst-case-scenario and spring into action… Not scary, right. Anticipation only works if the character has no control. If your character has a plan to get out of the trouble, there’s no fear for the reader. They already know everything’s going to work out fine.

Instead, have your main character walking home, reading a book while they walk. They notice their neighbor’s teen out walking their giant St. Bernard. Your character is engrossed in what they’re reading and not paying close attention. And then the dog gets away from the owner and is headed straight for them snarling. No control. No plan. Just react.

What’s this character’s perception of the threat? Are they afraid of dogs? Are they afraid of big dogs? Do they have confidence that the dog will obey the teen? Do they have an escape at hand? Do they have prior training or skills that would help them navigate this situation? These are all questions that will color the hue of fear your character expresses to readers.

Who’s your favorite writer that really does fear well? Remember, every genre will include fear. Let me know in the comments!

Method Acting For Writers: Learn Deep Point Of View Using Emotional Layers

Been told you should learn Deep Point Of View? Had an editor or critique partner tell you to “go deeper” with the emotions in your fiction? Looking for a community of writers seeking to create emotional connections with readers? Check out the Free Resource Hub and then join the Going Deeper With Emotions In Fiction Facebook group.

Comments (3)

Sorry it took so long for me to read this post. Had some personal issues is all.

Dean Koontz is an author who knows how to write fear of all sorts. One of his best is the novel Intensity.

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How to Describe Nervousness in Writing (23 Tips + Examples)

How do you move beyond simple statements like “She was nervous” to create a vivid, believable depiction of anxiety?

Here is how to describe nervousness in writing:

Describe nervousness in writing by using vivid language and sensory details. Show physical symptoms like shaking hands or quick breathing. Use dialogue tags such as “stammered,” internal dialogue, and pacing to build tension. Use words like “jittery” or “heart pounding” to deepen emotional impact.

In this guide, you’ll learn everything you need to know about how to describe nervousness in writing.

23 Best Tips for Describing Nervousness in Writing

Table of Contents

In this section, you’ll find 23 tips and techniques, complete with examples, that will guide you in portraying nervousness with nuance and depth.

Read all the way through and then pick the tips that speak to you the most.

1) Demonstrate, Don’t Describe

One of the cardinal rules of effective writing is to show rather than tell.

Instead of merely stating that a character is nervous, portray their anxiety through actions or implications.

This strategy draws the reader into the experience, making it more relatable and impactful.

Example : Instead of writing “John was nervous about the interview,” you could say, “John’s hands trembled as he straightened his tie one last time before stepping into the interview room.”

2) Use Body Language

Body language can be an incredible tool for conveying a character’s nervousness.

The slight tremble in the hands, fidgeting feet, or erratic movement can speak volumes.

In focusing on body language, you give your reader visual cues to better understand the character’s state of mind.

Example : Rather than simply stating “Emily was nervous before her speech,” describe how “Emily kept shifting from one foot to another, her fingers incessantly twirling a strand of hair.”

3) Incorporate Inner Monologue

A character’s inner thoughts offer an unfiltered glimpse into their emotional state.

For nervousness, consider incorporating internal monologue that captures the essence of the character’s fears or concerns.

This internal conversation can range from panicked thoughts to rationalizing statements.

Example : Instead of writing, “Sarah was nervous about the test,” you could write, “‘You can do this, you’ve prepared,’ Sarah thought, attempting to drown out the rising tide of panic that whispered, ‘But what if you fail?’”

4) Employ Facial Expressions

Facial expressions are highly expressive indicators of emotion.

A clenched jaw, furrowed brows, or widened eyes can all be signs of nervousness.

Including these details enriches the imagery and allows the reader to visualize the emotion vividly.

Example : Instead of saying, “Mark was nervous about the confrontation,” you could describe how “Mark’s eyes darted around the room, avoiding eye contact, his lips pinched in a tight line.”

5) Manipulate Pace and Sentence Structure

The pacing of your sentences can mirror the character’s emotional tempo.

Short, choppy sentences can create a feeling of urgency or disquiet, while long, winding sentences may denote an overwrought mind that’s spiraling out of control.

Example : Instead of “Lisa was anxious,” you might write, “Lisa’s thoughts tumbled over each other, a jumbled mess of ‘what-ifs’ and ‘if-onlys,’ her heart pounding as if keeping time with her spiraling anxiety.”

6) Use Metaphors and Similes

Metaphors and similes can also be instrumental in conveying nervousness.

By comparing the emotion or associated bodily sensations to something else, you can evoke a particular feeling or image in the reader’s mind.

Example : You could write, “His nervousness was like a swarm of bees, buzzing uncontrollably in the pit of his stomach,” to imply a sense of chaotic energy and discomfort.

7) Utilize Dialogue and Tone

Dialogue can also be a potent tool for conveying nervousness.

The words a character chooses, their tone, or even the pauses and stutters in their speech can all reveal underlying anxiety.

Through dialogue, you can show a character’s struggle to articulate their thoughts, their tendency to ramble, or their use of filler words—all indicative of nervousness.

Example : Instead of writing, “Tina was nervous about the question,” you could show her hesitation in dialogue: “‘Well, you see, um, it’s a bit complicated, isn’t it?’ Tina’s voice wavered, each word tinged with a nervous lilt that betrayed her composure.”

8) Leverage Environmental Interaction

How a character interacts with their environment can be another window into their emotional state.

Someone who is nervous might fiddle with objects, look away into the distance, or keep glancing at the door.

These interactions serve as nonverbal cues to the reader, adding an extra layer of context to the emotional landscape of the story.

Example : Instead of saying, “Paul was nervous,” you could describe how he interacts with his surroundings: “Paul kept glancing at his watch, then at the door, his fingers drumming an impatient rhythm on the tabletop. Every creak of the floorboards made him start, his eyes darting towards the source of the sound.”

9) Use Sensory Descriptions

Incorporating sensory descriptions can deeply immerse your reader into the character’s emotional state.

Describe how nervousness feels, tastes, sounds, smells, or even looks from the character’s perspective.

Does their mouth go dry? Is there a pit in their stomach?

Sensory details add a tangible quality to emotions, making them feel real to the reader.

Example : Rather than saying, “Raj was anxious,” you could provide sensory details: “A sour taste filled Raj’s mouth, his tongue thick and clumsy as if coated in cotton. His skin tingled with the static of his nerves, every sound magnified to a grating roar.”

10) Incorporate Thought-Action Sequences

When nervous, people often go through a rapid series of thoughts and actions.

Incorporating these thought-action sequences can add a realistic dimension to your depiction of nervousness.

Describe what the character thinks and then immediately show how that thought translates into action or inaction.

Example : Instead of saying, “Lisa felt nervous,” you could write: “‘I can’t mess this up,’ Lisa thought. Almost robotically, she reached for her notes, skimmed through them one last time, and adjusted the microphone. Her hands quivered just enough to remind her of her fragility.”

11) Use Repetitive Actions or Tics

People often exhibit repetitive behaviors or tics when they are nervous.

This could be tapping a foot, scratching an itch that isn’t there, or even humming a tune unconsciously.

These actions can become a character’s signature way of displaying nervousness, aiding in building a more rounded, believable individual.

Example : Instead of saying, “Nina was nervous,” you might write: “Nina kept pulling at the hem of her dress, stretching the fabric until it snapped back into place. It was a nervous tic she had developed as a child and it resurfaced now, a telltale sign of her inner turmoil.”

12) Play with Syntax and Grammar

Unconventional sentence structure can sometimes effectively convey a character’s nervous state.

Fragmented sentences, run-ons, or even abrupt syntactical breaks can make the reader feel the disjointedness or racing thoughts that come with nervousness.

Example : Instead of saying, “Harry was nervous,” you could experiment with sentence structure: “Harry couldn’t sit still. Couldn’t breathe normally. Everything a jumble. Thoughts. Emotions. A cacophony. He was unraveling.”

13) Utilize Flashbacks or Imagery

Sometimes the source of a character’s nervousness is a past event or a vivid imagination projecting worst-case scenarios.

You can employ flashbacks or internal imagery to convey this deeper layer of emotion.

It provides context and depth, making the emotion multidimensional.

Example : Rather than writing, “Martha was nervous,” you could incorporate a flashback: “As Martha waited for her name to be called, a vivid memory flashed before her eyes—the last time she had stood on a similar stage, forgetting all her lines. Her stomach knotted at the thought.”

14) Exaggerate for Effect (Hyperbole)

Sometimes a little exaggeration can drive the point home effectively.

Hyperbole allows you to amplify a character’s emotional state for greater impact.

While you should use this sparingly, an exaggerated description at the right moment can offer an intense snapshot of a character’s feelings.

Example : Instead of simply saying, “Clara was nervous,” you could exaggerate: “Clara felt like her heart was about to burst through her chest and make a run for it, leaving her behind to face the crowd.”

15) Punctuate with Silence

The absence of sound or action can be as powerful as its presence.

Moments of silence, hesitation, or stillness can accentuate a character’s nervousness and build tension.

Readers naturally fill silence with their own anticipation, adding to the emotional depth of a scene.

Example : Instead of saying, “Jim felt nervous,” you could write: “Jim opened his mouth to speak, but words escaped him. An uncomfortable silence filled the room, every tick of the clock amplifying his growing sense of dread.”

16) Use Dialogue Tags and Modifiers

While it’s generally better to show emotion through action and dialogue, sometimes a well-placed tag or modifier can be effective.

Words like “stammered,” “muttered,” or “whispered” can add nuance to speech, indicating a character’s emotional state.

Example : Instead of saying, “Maria was nervous,” consider: “‘I, uh, think we should talk,’ Maria stammered, her voice barely rising above a whisper.”

17) Add Color to Breathing and Voice

Breathing patterns and voice modulation can reveal a lot about someone’s emotional state.

Short, shallow breaths or a tremulous voice can indicate nervousness.

Describe these to allow readers to ‘hear’ and ‘feel’ the character’s nervousness.

Example : Instead of just stating, “Lucas was nervous,” describe his breathing and voice: “Lucas drew a shallow, shaky breath, his words coming out in hesitant fragments: ‘I, um, don’t know how to, uh, say this.'”

18) Describe the Passing of Time

How a character perceives the passing of time can indicate their emotional state.

Time might drag painfully slow or rush by in a disorienting blur when one is nervous.

Use this to build atmosphere and provide insight into the character’s inner world.

Example : Instead of stating, “Kelly felt nervous,” write: “Every second that ticked by felt like an eternity to Kelly, each moment stretching out as she waited for her name to be announced.”

19) Break It with Humor

Sometimes, breaking the tension with a moment of humor can accentuate the nervousness that preceded it.

This can make characters more relatable and endearing to the reader, showcasing their coping mechanisms.

Example : Rather than saying, “Tom was nervous,” you could write: “Tom fumbled with his keys, dropping them twice before finally unlocking the door. ‘Well,’ he chuckled nervously, ‘who needs a security system when you have butterfingers like mine?'”

20) Employ Foreshadowing

You can use foreshadowing to build anticipation and make the character’s nervousness more pronounced.

Plant clues early in the narrative that something significant, and potentially nerve-wracking, will happen later.

Example : Instead of saying, “Sandy was anxious,” employ foreshadowing: “Sandy couldn’t shake off the ominous feeling as she read the anonymous letter again. ‘See you soon,’ it ended, and every time she read those words, her stomach churned with a nervous dread she couldn’t place.”

21) Bring it Full Circle (Callback)

Sometimes calling back to an earlier moment of nervousness can demonstrate growth or a lack thereof in a character.

This can add depth to your character and make the emotion feel earned.

Example : Instead of saying, “Amy was no longer nervous,” you could use a callback: “Amy looked at the stage, remembering how she’d frozen up last year. But this time, her feet were steady. She smiled, her nerves giving way to newfound confidence.”

22) Layered Emotions

Often, nervousness isn’t a standalone emotion; it comes layered with anticipation, excitement, or even dread.

Describing these mixed feelings can offer a more nuanced and relatable portrayal of nervousness.

Example : Instead of saying, “Dan was nervous,” you could layer emotions: “Dan felt a strange cocktail of emotions—nervousness peppered with a dash of excitement and a hint of dread. It was his first day at a new job, after all.”

23) Blend Multiple Techniques

The most compelling portrayals often use a blend of multiple techniques.

By combining different elements like inner monologue, dialogue, body language, and pacing, you can craft a rich, multi-layered portrayal of nervousness that resonates with readers.

Example : “Jane’s fingers tapped an erratic rhythm on her desk. ‘You’ve got this,’ she silently assured herself, her stomach churning like a washing machine on spin cycle. Her breaths came in quick, shallow gasps, failing to clear the fog of unease that clouded her thoughts.”

When describing nervousness, it’s good to first understand it:

30 Words to Describe Nervousness in Writing

When it comes to describing nervousness, the right vocabulary can make all the difference.

Selecting precise words can make your prose more vivid and transport your reader into the emotional landscape of your characters.

Here are 30 words you can use to describe nervousness:

• Apprehensive

30 Phrases to Describe Nervousness in Writing

Sometimes a single word won’t suffice and a phrase can provide a more nuanced description of a character’s emotional state.

The following phrases can add complexity and detail when describing nervousness:

• Heart pounding like a drum
• A bundle of nerves
• Sweating bullets
• Butterflies in the stomach
• Walking on eggshells
• Twisting one’s hands
• Gnawing at the insides
• Mind racing a mile a minute
• Pins and needles
• Shaking like a leaf
• Biting one’s nails
• Stomach in knots
• Breathing quick and shallow
• Fumbling over words
• Ears burning with embarrassment
• Vein throbbing in the temple
• Holding one’s breath
• Suffering a nervous breakdown
• Nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof
• Feeling cornered
• Jumping at shadows
• Second-guessing oneself
• Trembling from head to toe
• Heart skipping a beat
• Palms clammy with sweat
• Restless leg syndrome
• Voice tinged with apprehension
• Pulse racing uncontrollably
• Lost in a fog of nervousness

3 Full Descriptions of Nervousness in Different Genres

Here are three full descriptions of how to describe nervousness in writing.

You’ll read about nervous characters in:

Science Fiction

Mystery/thriller.

John walked into the dimly lit room, its shadows casting eerie patterns on the walls.

His heart pounded in his chest as if a drumroll were announcing his entry. The smell of old books mixed with the musk of mildew, creating an ambiance of foreboding that gnawed at his insides.

He felt like he was walking on eggshells, each step a potential trigger for something he couldn’t quite articulate.

The room seemed to close in on him, and he found himself gripping the edge of the table, his knuckles turning white. His breaths were shallow, each inhalation a laborious task, as he felt the weight of eyes upon him—even though he was alone.

Emma looked across the candle-lit table, her eyes meeting Michael’s.

Her stomach was a swirl of butterflies, fluttering wildly as if trying to escape. Her hands felt clammy, and she discreetly wiped them on her napkin.

As he smiled, she found herself lost in a fog of nervousness, a tingling sensation crawling up her spine.

The thought of what might happen after dinner filled her with a heady mixture of excitement and dread.

Each time their eyes met, her heart skipped a beat, making her wonder if this was love or just a new level of emotional chaos she had yet to understand.

As Captain Williams stood before the interstellar council, his legs trembled beneath his space uniform, almost as if they were about to give way.

His heart felt like it was racing at warp speed, and he was acutely aware of the hundreds of extraterrestrial eyes focused on him.

Each species had its own way of scrutinizing, yet they all seemed to pierce right through him.

This is it, the first contact, don’t mess it up, he thought, his mind racing a mile a minute.

The gravity of the moment bore down on him, heavier than Jupiter’s pull, and he swallowed hard, trying to find his voice amid the lump of apprehension lodged in his throat.

Final Thoughts: How to Describe Nervousness in Writing

Nervousness is a critical element in tension and, therefore, every story.

If you’re looking for more guides on describing emotions and actions in writing, we have many great articles for on this site.

Related Posts:

• How to Describe Fear in Writing (21 Best Tips + Examples)
• How To Describe a Panic Attack in Writing (Ultimate Guide)
• How to Describe a Brave Person in Writing (21 Tips + Examples)
• How to Describe a Hug in Writing (21 Best Tips + Examples)

Writing About Fears and Phobias

Fear is a complicated emotion that involves pronounced emotional, physiological, and behavioral elements. To write fear well means you’re going to need to address each of those elements, while also taking into consideration the character’s personal history and why their fears developed. 

Like any of the major emotions, fear has a way of creeping into stories of just about every genre. If you’re writing a romance, you may have a character feel afraid of rejection as they plan to profess their love. If you’re writing something with action or horror elements, a character may encounter another person who poses a threat to their safety. In any story, however, a character may be afraid of bees or heights, or other things they could encounter at any time. If you can’t properly convey the feeling of fear in these situations, an otherwise good scene could end up feeling very shallow. 

What is the Character Afraid Of?

There are two major types of fear: rational and irrational. 

• Rational fears are fears that make sense, such as being afraid of death or something that could cause serious bodily harm. In most cases, rational fears arise from genuine dangers; if there’s a good reason to be afraid of something, then it’s a rational fear to have. 
• Irrational fears are fears that don’t make sense, and they vary from person to person. Someone might be afraid of clowns, even though clowns pose no real danger to anyone’s personal safety. Other examples are fear of worms, cats, holes, or ghosts. In other words, if there’s no reason to be afraid of something, and yet someone is afraid of it anyway, then that fear is irrational. 

Of these two, the one you’re going to need to think about the most is irrational fears —otherwise known as phobias . Everyone is afraid of suffering or dying, so that’s not as important to consider right away. Rather, consider what things your character is afraid of that sets them apart from their peers. Are they afraid of large bodies of water? Of getting lost? Of mushrooms?

Keep in mind that phobias are a type of character flaw. Character flaws exist to add depth to a plot by creating obstacles for a character to contend with or overcome, as well as allowing readers a deeper understanding of the character’s past and personality. If you give your characters a phobia, but they never encounter what they are afraid of in the story itself, then there is no real reason to give them that phobia in the first place. 

For more information on how to deal with character flaws in your story, check out How to Create Complex Flaws for Characters .

Why is the Character Afraid?

Now that you’re thinking about what your character is afraid of, you need to also start considering why they’re afraid of that—as well as how you can use that fear to your advantage in the narrative. 

As we’ve discussed above, many fears are innate or entirely rational. In that case, the answer to the question of why the character is afraid of something would be very straightforward. No one wants to be maimed or killed or otherwise put in harm’s way. Other completely understandable fears include getting lost, losing a loved one, or getting sick. But what about when a character’s fears are not so easily explained? 

Many fears result from past experiences. If someone is afraid of dogs, it may be because they were bitten by a dog in the past. If someone is afraid of clowns, it could be because someone they looked up to as a kid was also afraid of clowns, and they learned to be afraid too. You don’t need to do a lot of work to tie the character’s phobias to their backstory, but you should at least consider the origin of these fears so you can make their reactions to them deeper and more meaningful. 

Fears are complex, however, and can arise for a number of reasons. Not all fears have an easily identifiable cause, and others could have deep psychological explanations. Different people can be afraid of the same thing for entirely different reasons. For example, someone may fear large crowds because of the noise, while someone else may be afraid of crowds because of how easy it would be to get lost in a crowd, whereas another person may fear crowds because of the potential social demands of being around many other people. Other things, such as a person’s neurotype , can influence the way they interpret their surroundings and contextualize their experience too. 

Fears are more impactful if there is depth to the way they are experienced. If your characters have deep and meaningful reasons for being afraid of something, you need to clue readers in to the complex emotions and memories at play. 

Writing about “Fight or Flight”

“Fight or flight” is a phrase used to describe the physiological response a person experiences as a result of being afraid. Fight or flight, also known as “acute stress response,” causes the release of adrenaline and several other changes that allow a person to react quickly to a threat. 

Because of this response, the character experiencing acute stress may also experience:

• Dilated pupils
• Flushed face
• Trembling 
• Shallow breathing
• Nausea 
• Chills 
• Rapid heart rate

However, although the physiological reaction to fear is universal, the behavioral reaction is not. There are four major types of reactions to threats that a person can exhibit, though there are variations within each category as well. These different reactions are known as:

• Fight: This type of reaction is characterized by a person becoming aggressive and standing their ground as if to physically fight off a threat. However, this reaction can be triggered even when there is no physical threat to actually fight. 
• Flight: This type of reaction is characterized by a person attempting to flee or hide. They may attempt to hide behind another person, run away, or cover their face. 
• Freeze: This type of reaction is characterized by a person freezing up in the face of fear, often becoming incapable of moving or making a decision on their own. Like a kind of paralysis, this prevents a person from moving away from the threat in favor of not being noticed by it. 
• Fawn: This type of reaction is characterized by a person trying to prevent a threat from occurring in the first place by being compliant with whatever or whoever is making them afraid. It is most common in survivors of abuse, who are used to trying to appease an abuser to prevent more abuse from taking place. However, it can also be triggered in other situations where the fear results from another person, rather than an animal, concept, or situation. 

Of course, a character can experience different reactions in different situations. If they are confronted by a wild animal, their instinct may be to freeze, while if they are spooked by an actor in a haunted house attraction, their reaction may be to fight the poor employee in the ghost costume.

A character’s personality, and their experiences with each individual trigger, is going to help determine how they respond to fear at a given moment. In addition to that, other environmental factors can influence how a person reacts to fear. When alone, a person may flee, but if they are with others, they may be more inclined to stay and fight. Take a look at the setting, the object of the character’s fear, the other characters present in the scene, and any other factors to help you determine the way a character will respond. 

The Body Language of Fear

As with any emotion, it is almost always better to “ show, don’t tell ” when it comes to writing about fear. 

This is probably a phrase you’ve heard a million times before, but if you want a refresher, you can check out Show, Don’t Tell: What It Is and How to Use It (With Examples) .

One of the easiest ways to utilize the principle of “show, don’t tell” is to rely on body language. The way a character moves and speaks can indicate how they are feeling without you having to tell readers “they are scared.” However, the body language exhibited by a character who’s afraid of something is going to depend on their reaction to that fear (fight, flight, freeze, or fawn). 

Here are some examples:

• Fight: A character who instinctively reacts with the “fight” response is probably going to scowl, clench their fists, and stand with a wide stance. They could also stand protectively in front of others who are around them. Alternatively, they could lash out unexpectedly, instinctively trying to beat back whatever perceived threat has them scared. 
• Flight: A character who reacts with the “flight” response may grab onto something or someone, retreat back several steps, hold their arms close to their chest, or flinch noticeably. They are also more likely to cover their face with their hands, hide behind other people or objects, shriek, scream, and cry.
• Freeze: A character who reacts with the “freeze” response will quite literally freeze where they are standing. They may stare—either at their fear or off at nothing at all—or glance around frantically, and their limbs will still likely tremble. They could also be shocked silent, or they could mumble to themself or whine. 
• Fawn: A character who reacts with the “fawn” response will appear to make themself as small as possible. They may hunch over, wrap their arms around themself, or even go down on their knees. Like the flight response, they are also more likely to cry, but they may also try to mask how they feel with a fake smile

Additionally, a character who is scared may engage in what’s known as “self-soothing behaviors” to try to calm down or ground themself. Here are some examples of what those behaviors look like:

• Rocking back and forth
• Shaking their hands
• Wrapping their arms around themself
• Chewing on their lip
• Clasping their hands together tightly
• Gripping someone or something tightly
• Breathing slowly and deliberately 
• Clenching their jaw
• Fidgeting 
• Picking at their fingernails
• Holding their breath

For more information on how to use body language to cue readers in to how a character is feeling, make sure to check out Writing Body Language: Bringing Your Characters to Life next! 

Using Fear to Reveal More About a Character

The way a character reacts to being afraid can reveal a lot about who they are. Fear is great at revealing a person’s true colors, and betraying elements of their personality and past that they otherwise would not discuss. It’s also not uncommon for people to behave seemingly out of character when they are afraid. For example, someone who is ordinarily tough may become timid and quiet when they are scared, while someone who is ordinarily skittish could behave courageously under pressure. A person who is ordinarily very calm and collected could reveal a more aggressive side of themself when they are exposed to something they fear. 

You can also use a character’s fears to give readers subliminal context to that character’s backstory. If a character is afraid of people yelling, that could indicate they have experienced abuse in their past, without you having to explain that explicitly. 

Just by planning ahead a little, you can use fear to reveal many things about a character’s true personality, the way they think, and what they could be hiding.

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19,903 quotes, descriptions and writing prompts, 4,965 themes

fear - quotes and descriptions to inspire creative writing

• a panic attack
• an Abandoned child
• anticipation
• apprehensive
• being put on guard
• being scared
• claustrophobia
• difficult emotions
• fear of loss
• haunted building
• house of horrors
• i don't care
• Masking fear
• negative emotions
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• true emotions

When the chance to connect comes, when I see my holy grail, the monster appears to tell me that pain is ahead. Thus the chasm I see is the mirage fear creates, my future is a step beyond, one stride. And as I take it all the while the monster speaks of betrayal, abandonment and the worst of memories. I know that when the sun rises tomorrow I will be glad I endured, that I landed safe and sound on virgin hallowed ground.

I swallow my own fear to expand the safe zone of others, to become the stoic leader they deserve.

My fear of loss is proof of my love for you, on that you can depend. The curse is the blessing as the blessing is the curse. Love is tough, but I'm tough enough.

Fear is natural and there to keep you alive and happy, yet where it has been weaponised and fashioned into a cage, one is honour bound to break free.

When we become great teachers of emotional intelligence we will delete the alt-right. When we explain how their new linguistics is acting as an catalyst for emotional indifference - the biological opposite of love - people will start to question how these subcultures are recoding and reprogramming their brains into isolated emotional spaces where they cannot access the love they need for good health. "Wrongthink" is made of "wrong" and "think" and will both ping the amygdala and (in some people) the PAG. This changes brain chemistry and traps people into their primitive brains, the parts that will prepare them for genocide and war, the parts that are incapable of empathy, logic and self control - all of the most desirable traits in humanity. Thus they unwittingly destroy that which they claim to seek - now, that is stupid, that is really, really fucking stupid. Alt-right delete. Let's do it.

When I'm feeling triggered the world and everyone it is behind fifty feet of glass. Loving bonds become inaccessible. In this mode I have to take great care not to damage bonds of love, the relationships and people who are everything to my heart and soul. For in time the glass disappears and my love returns. I wish I could stop the triggering, but if I feel unprotected or left to fend for myself it returns - it is survival mode, cold and indifferent. Yet even in these times I am cognisant of my morality. I still make good choices. I can still imagine what the better version of me would want me to do and then carry that out. I can't undo the trauma I've been through, but I can adapt and overcome.

Our fears can be triggered by real threats and by memories of threats. Humans find it challenging to unlearn fears. Thus when we realise that we are scared we must ask ourselves how real the threat is or if we have begun to generalise fear and seek evidence to cement it rather than challenge it. To remain well balanced and with good perspective we must always remain willing to ask ourselves these difficult questions, hone into our true emotions and see people as they really are. The prize for doing all this right is a well functioning society, the punishment for getting it wrong is run-away-paranoia. The former makes friendships, the latter makes enemies whom could have been friends. That said, if after analysis you find the threat to have real force and impact, take action to protect yourself, to protect those you love and call in allies to provide support. In summary, my love, fears can be real, ghosts of real fears, or entirely imagined. It takes courage to figure out your own fears, to face them and question them, but it is worth it.

When we are afraid, when we are under stress, we speed up our brain's "angry-face search app" but, as we get faster, we get less accurate. We start to see angry faces that aren't there, reading calm faces as angry. And the stress hormones don't choose what we fear, they amp up whatever we've learned to fear. That's why society falls apart under ongoing stress - cracking us at our weak-points, spreading hate and indifference like a damn virus.

The wise let fear school them yet never fool them, for then they are ever free to learn, to make better choices, to become heroes.

It tell myself that the fear is simply brain chemicals, my amygdala pinged, and then I try to analyse the situation as I may without it. I try to imagine it from the outside, as if it were a movie and not real life. Then I ask myself what my "character" should do. It helps me to make better choices.

This fear is my challenge and my demon to slay, for it will come until I do, unannounced and gnarly. The only way out is to order this brain to function, to demand solutions instead of this crazy-making circling anxiety. So though it feels as if my bones have no more strength and my muscles are all out of power, I still have the option to remain still, to be quiet enough to choose how to fight.

Look, Sebastian, to quote my favourite TV show, "Fear is wisdom in the face of danger." It's a good thing to be tuned in enough to feel fear and figure out why it's there and what to do about it; that's what bravery is. You have to be brave to feel that fear long enough to analyse it and keep your self control. Because when we learn about it, it gives us a real chance to care better for others when they are scared, to be kind when others need help. Those who demand resiliency of others should ask themselves if it is loving and empathic to do so, for repeated exposure to harm and stress causes damage in the brain, whereas love, nurture and compassion build a stronger brain that gives a natural resiliency. When I am afraid, I remind myself that my good decision making ability is temporarily offline and I need to wait before I can figure things out, wait for my brain's usual connections to resume.

It's not predictable anger or pain that's the worst, it's the "randoms," stuff you know is coming, just never when. The randoms work on the mind as a torture, elevating primal fear, decreasing logic and self-control. That's how Curt keeps his iron grip, by exploding about small things he can blame on one of us. It's mind control 101 and I want out. I want to be around folks who talk calmly instead of attaching their fucking jump-leads to my amygdala, igniting it at their pleasure.

Being with Arc was like resting in a house while a gale raged outside, like in her presence time itself became more calm. She always said the root of all fears, the rotten root of mankind, is the "fear of need" and our task is to meet this fear with the same resistance a rock shows to wind - that the resolved person lets fear blow around them and remains resolute in a will to be kind.

Who made you afraid, my love? Afraid of the future and the past? For neither exist in any place but the imagination, even memory must be imagined. Thus fear is a kind of madness, but one that is useful if you know how it works. Fear will take you by the hand to the things you keep and guard as precious. Always face fear with courage, understand it, and then let it go. Let these fears wake you up, let them show you the way to your true self, to the brave soul whose love shines like a star. For without fear, love is brighter, stronger, deeper. When you find yourself, my love, you will be your own master, fully healed, and your last fear will be of your own strength.

You poured gasoline onto the spark of fear in my belly. It's not like you thought was alright; I was far away from any inner peace. You took words and fashioned them into a knife, sinking it in with cold black eyes. All I ever did was offer you my hand. All I ever did was offer love and ask for help.

If you are afraid of sunshine, Even the sun is scary to you. If you are afraid of rain, Even a sweet shower is scary to you. For if you love sunshine, If you love rain, They are a lullaby for the soul. Fear lives not in the world, But within the mind. So when fear calls at your door, Bang, bang, bang... Ask why you are afraid. And then you will find, There is only sunlight in your doorway, Only gentle rain in your garden.

Fear is shackles, fear is a knife in the gut slowly twisted, fear is a constant hammer on the head. Yet fear also evaporates like water under an early summer sun. When fear comes walk with confidence right past, because like the ghosts of children's nightmares, fear is an illusion.

"Fear is part of being human, David, it's the precursor to bravery. We need it, it wakes us up to what needs to be done. So feel it, own it, let it ignite your thoughts."

We both see delicate spring blooms. I see life as so robust that the flowers come back season after season, Igor sees them as transitory - soon to be trampled under foot. We both feel the sunlight growing stronger. I feel warmth and look forward to the harvest, Igor shrinks inside and worries about burns and insect bites. We both know the goodness in our community. I know we can push forwards and grow in an enlightened way, Igor "knows" that the people from other religions will come to spoil it and take over, ruining our progress. But Igor confuses knowledge with fear. There are so many problems in the world, I'm not blind to it, my eyes are open too. But I don't see big religion, people as part of "herds" or "gangs," I see billions of broken hearts reaching out to know they are loved by the Divine, and they are. All of them, every single one. So I'm feeling optimistic. Our enemy isn't people at all, they are all born in innocence, there never was an "evil" baby. Cultures shape our minds, religions can inspire goodness or fear and bigotry. Cultures can change if infused with Love and mutual understanding. Fear breeds fear and shuts us off from the true inner voice of our moral compass. People are good, human nature is just fine, culture we can change and more rapidly than people think. I reach out with Love because Love heals, Love makes us whole, Love elevates us to better and more noble thought patterns. The glass is still half full and I know we can make it if we try.

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How can I describe nervousness?

Becoming nervous in the heat of a situation. Perhaps you witnessed something not for the faint of heart. Like, how would I describe shaky legs without being so boring about it.

• creative-writing
• description

• 1 Actually, I would provide very little by way of description. Also depends on whether the narration is first or third person. You could simply write, "I was nervous about..." or something similar. If the narrator is third person but not omniscient, and the nervous character is not directly speaking, you could write something such as, "Jane fidgeted." We will be able to infer the rest, from the surrounding narrative. No need for drama. –  user23046 Commented Apr 16, 2017 at 21:58

4 Answers 4

Well.. There are simple and less simple answers to these kinds of questions that will give you different results.

First; the simple : "He/I was nervous".. - Not a lot to misinterpret, but not a lot for the reader to feel either.

Second; the less simple : "He/I did this, said this, felt this" - the "this's" in the example above would then be replaced with examples of behaviour that people are familiar with connecting to nervousness: Stuttering / repeating yourself / lacking or missing words quick/uneasy breathing using or positioning your hands/arms/legs differently looking around quickly/without focus paying attention to certain details, either relevant or not sweating the list goes on...

@FlyingPiMonster uses most of these in his example in his answer. You can use whichever suits your characters and the situation they're in. When you describe the qualities of an emotion/feeling/state that someone is in, the reader is more likely to feel that emotion, rather than just "know what you mean"... the what makes the character nervous could in this case be what he's paying attention to

Perhaps: Think of something that made you nervous - how did you act/react? If you cannot remember how you behave when nervous (It'd surprise me a little, but) ask someone else how they felt and or acted last time they were nervous. Perhaps even ask someone specific that your character may remind you of, if possible.

• 2 This would have been my answer to, showing the effects of the nervouness rather than stating it. Espevially useful if the character doesnt instantly recognize they are nervous. –  Seserous Commented Jul 7, 2018 at 4:15

If you want to avoid being boring you avoid even alluding to the nervousness at all.

Think of some of the things that might cause your knees to shake that have nothing to do with nervousness.

Maybe your character checks the thermostat and wonders how the room can be so cold when the heat is set to 75°.

Make your character wonder if people are wondering why your character needs to piss so badly.

Your character could do something completely out of character, or give in to an old vice, like having one smoke, just this once, because it’s only once.

Have your character do something compulsive, like pull out their third stick of gum in 2 minutes, or pull their socks up repeatedly, in hopes that that will help hold them in place. Yet somehow it only makes them itch more.

If the tone is right, have your character remark that their legs are as numb as if they’d sat on the john for an hour playing Clash of Clans.

One of the most important ways you’ll establish that mythical authorial “voice” is by thinking outside the box. Anyone can convey that their character is nervous by stating that they’re sweating or that their heart is pounding. If you want to reach your readers, make it personal—personal to you, personal to your character. Bring your own experiences into the picture.

Most of the time, you won’t even need to hint at the fact that your character is nervous. That should become obvious the moment you write, "He lit up another cigarette,” because you've already established that your character gave up smoking years ago.

Spend less time describing the nervousness, and more time describing what is making your characters nervous.

Neither of them moved a muscle. Elias could hear his own heartbeat; he could even hear Jamie's nervous breaths. Two sets of footsteps were coming toward them. One was heavy and slow, like an adult's; the other seemed quicker and lighter. (from something I'm writing)

In this short paragraph, only one sentence is devoted to actually describing nervousness: hearing one's own heartbeat and someone else's breath. Readers know from that sentence that Jamie and Elias are nervous; there is no need to tell them again.

Instead, the rest of the paragraph is about their situation. Why are they nervous? They need to avoid detection, and two mysterious figures are moving toward them. This heightens the tension in the scene and gives Elias and Jamie a reason to be nervous, which is much more effective than continuing to describe nervousness itself.

Talk to people about what happens when they get nervous so you have a strong database of ideas. And give every character a different set of reactions. The main character in the novel I'm working on likes to take leaves or flowers and slowly shred them with her fingers. Another character reacts physically sometimes to the point of violence. Others look away from the person they're talking to.

There are many ways to show nervousness and also many degrees of it. Being scared can overlap but it's different. Some people are energized by nervousness (I am...it's part of why I love to perform on stage). Others lose the ability to speak or to function or to think clearly. Some will stammer or make mistakes. Still others will behave perfectly normally except for that telltale sign only people who know them will notice.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged creative-writing fiction description or ask your own question .

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