my core values in life essay

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My Personal Values in Life

• Categories: Values of Life

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Words: 773 |

Published: Jan 31, 2024

Words: 773 | Pages: 2 | 4 min read

Table of contents

Introduction, body paragraph 1: personal value 1, body paragraph 2: personal value 2, body paragraph 3: personal value 3, counterargument.

• Adler, M. J. (2000). The four dimensions of philosophy: Metaphysical, moral, objective, categorical. Routledge.
• Miller, W. R., & Thoresen, C. E. (2003). Spirituality, religion, and health: An emerging research field. American Psychologist, 58(1), 24-35.
• Peterson, C., & Seligman, M. E. (2004). Character strengths and virtues: A handbook and classification. Oxford University Press.

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Essays About Values: 5 Essay Examples Plus 10 Prompts

Similar to how our values guide us, let this guide with essays about values and writing prompts help you write your essay.

Values are the core principles that guide the actions we take and the choices we make. They are the cornerstones of our identity. On a community or organizational level, values are the moral code that every member must embrace to live harmoniously and work together towards shared goals. 

We acquire our values from different sources such as parents, mentors, friends, cultures, and experiences. All of these build on one another — some rejected as we see fit — for us to form our perception of our values and what will lead us to a happy and fulfilled life.

5 Essay Examples

1. what today’s classrooms can learn from ancient cultures by linda flanagan, 2. stand out to your hiring panel with a personal value statement by maggie wooll, 3. make your values mean something by patrick m. lencioni, 4. how greed outstripped need by beth azar, 5. a shift in american family values is fueling estrangement by joshua coleman, 1. my core values, 2. how my upbringing shaped my values, 3. values of today’s youth, 4. values of a good friend, 5. an experience that shaped your values, 6. remembering our values when innovating, 7. important values of school culture, 8. books that influenced your values, 9. religious faith and moral values, 10. schwartz’s theory of basic values.

“Connectedness is another core value among Maya families, and teachers seek to cultivate it… While many American teachers also value relationships with their students, that effort is undermined by the competitive environment seen in many Western classrooms.”

Ancient communities keep their traditions and values of a hands-off approach to raising their kids. They also preserve their hunter-gatherer mindsets and others that help their kids gain patience, initiative, a sense of connectedness, and other qualities that make a helpful child.

“How do you align with the company’s mission and add to its culture? Because it contains such vital information, your personal value statement should stand out on your resume or in your application package.”

Want to rise above other candidates in the jobs market? Then always highlight your value statement. A personal value statement should be short but still, capture the aspirations and values of the company. The essay provides an example of a captivating value statement and tips for crafting one.

“Values can set a company apart from the competition by clarifying its identity and serving as a rallying point for employees. But coming up with strong values—and sticking to them—requires real guts.”

Along with the mission and vision, clear values should dictate a company’s strategic goals. However, several CEOs still needed help to grasp organizational values fully. The essay offers a direction in setting these values and impresses on readers the necessity to preserve them at all costs. 

“‘He compared the values held by people in countries with more competitive forms of capitalism with the values of folks in countries that have a more cooperative style of capitalism… These countries rely more on strategic cooperation… rather than relying mostly on free-market competition as the United States does.”

The form of capitalism we have created today has shaped our high value for material happiness. In this process, psychologists said we have allowed our moral and ethical values to drift away from us for greed to take over. You can also check out these essays about utopia .

“From the adult child’s perspective, there might be much to gain from an estrangement: the liberation from those perceived as hurtful or oppressive, the claiming of authority in a relationship, and the sense of control over which people to keep in one’s life. For the mother or father, there is little benefit when their child cuts off contact.”

It is most challenging when the bonds between parent and child weaken in later years. Psychologists have been navigating this problem among modern families, which is not an easy conflict to resolve. It requires both parties to give their best in humbling themselves and understanding their loved ones, no matter how divergent their values are. 

10 Writing  Prompts On Essays About Values

For this topic prompt, contemplate your non-negotiable core values and why you strive to observe them at all costs. For example, you might value honesty and integrity above all else. Expound on why cultivating fundamental values leads to a happy and meaningful life. Finally, ponder other values you would like to gain for your future self. Write down how you have been practicing to adopt these aspired values. 

Many of our values may have been instilled in us during childhood. This essay discusses the essential values you gained from your parents or teachers while growing up. Expound on their importance in helping you flourish in your adult years. Then, offer recommendations on what households, schools, or communities can do to ensure that more young people adopt these values.

Is today’s youth lacking essential values, or is there simply a shift in what values generations uphold? Strive to answer this and write down the healthy values that are emerging and dying. Then think of ways society can preserve healthy values while doing away with bad ones. Of course, this change will always start at home, so also encourage parents, as role models, to be mindful of their words, actions and behavior.  

The greatest gift in life is friendship. In this essay, enumerate the top values a friend should have. You may use your best friend as an example. Then, cite the best traits your best friend has that have influenced you to be a better version of yourself. Finally, expound on how these values can effectively sustain a healthy friendship in the long term. 

We all have that one defining experience that has forever changed how we see life and the values we hold dear. Describe yours through storytelling with the help of our storytelling guide . This experience may involve a decision, a conversation you had with someone, or a speech you heard at an event.  

With today’s innovation, scientists can make positive changes happen. But can we truly exercise our values when we fiddle with new technologies whose full extent of positive and adverse effects we do not yet understand such as AI? Contemplate this question and look into existing regulations on how we curb the creation or use of technologies that go against our values. Finally, assess these rules’ effectiveness and other options society has. 

Highlight a school’s role in honing a person’s values. Then, look into the different aspects of your school’s culture. Identify which best practices distinct in your school are helping students develop their values. You could consider whether your teachers exhibit themselves as admirable role models or specific parts of the curriculum that help you build good character. 

In this essay, recommend your readers to pick up your favorite books, particularly those that served as pathways to enlightening insights and values. To start, provide a summary of the book’s story. It would be better if you could do so without revealing too much to avoid spoiling your readers’ experience. Then, elaborate on how you have applied the values you learned from the book.

For many, religious faith is the underlying reason for their values. For this prompt, explore further the inextricable links between religion and values. If you identify with a certain religion, share your thoughts on the values your sector subscribes to. You can also tread the more controversial path on the conflicts of religious values with socially accepted beliefs or practices, such as abortion. 

Dive deeper into the ten universal values that social psychologist Shalom Schwartz came up with: power, achievement, hedonism, stimulation, self-direction, universalism, benevolence, tradition, conformity, and security. Look into their connections and conflicts against each other. Then, pick your favorite value and explain how you relate to it the most. Also, find if value conflicts within you, as theorized by Schwartz.

Make sure to check out our round-up of the best essay checkers . If you want to use the latest grammar software, read our guide on using an AI grammar checker .

Yna Lim is a communications specialist currently focused on policy advocacy. In her eight years of writing, she has been exposed to a variety of topics, including cryptocurrency, web hosting, agriculture, marketing, intellectual property, data privacy and international trade. A former journalist in one of the top business papers in the Philippines, Yna is currently pursuing her master's degree in economics and business.

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How to Focus on Your Values in Your Personal Statement

This article was written based on the information and opinions presented by CEG Essay Specialist Kaila Barber in a CollegeVine livestream. You can watch the full livestream for more info.

What’s Covered: 

Identifying your own values, demonstrate your values with examples.

• Reflecting on Your Experiences

It’s important to keep in mind what your reader is hoping to learn from your personal statement. The statement is an opportunity to reflect on your experiences and demonstrate how you think about and relate to the world around you. Specifically, what are some of your values? What’s meaningful to you? What do you find important? 

Personal values can be things like communication, patience, nature, health, personal development, courage, self-love, authenticity, healthy boundaries, or even humor. Before you start drafting your personal statement, take a moment to reflect on the things that you find important and why. 

We’re all very different people coming from different backgrounds, and we have different experiences that impact our individual values. While some of your values will overlap with those of other people, your personal reflection on the values that resonate most with you will separate your statement from someone else’s. 

The best way to include your values, skills, and traits in your essay is to pair them with specific examples and anecdotes. Each anecdote should align with at least one of the values that you find most important and should be accompanied by your personal reflection on the value and its related experience. 

Here’s an example. A student does not have a parent or guardian around to shoulder the expenses of caring for them and their younger sibling. In their outline, the student says that they value autonomy, financial stability, and family. Throughout the essay, they demonstrate these values by talking about getting a part-time job to help support the family and caring for their sibling at home. They also excel academically and even petition to have an AP Physics II course offered at their school. 

The student has shown autonomy by taking the initiative to petition for the new course and by getting a job. They have also demonstrated that both financial stability and family are important to them by pitching in to support their parent and sibling.

Your examples should show your reader your values by being specific and personal to your background and experiences.

Reflecting on Your Experiences 

Reflecting on your values is an equally important part of the personal statement. Your reflections or insight should focus on not only your experiences but also who you are and who you want to become. The insight you include in your essay shows that you’ve really found meaning from your personal experiences.

Insight can take a few forms. A common way to show insight is by writing about a growth experience. Show how you went from point A in your life to point B, and share the lessons you’ve learned along the way. For example, people often reflect on how navigating a strenuous activity or challenge changed the way that they thought about themselves and what they could handle. Reflecting on that change in confidence is one way to demonstrate insight.

One of the clearest ways to explore insight is to self-reflect and write about how something has either connected you to, influenced, or reframed how you think of your own values. Maybe you once pushed yourself too hard, and that experience showed you the value of rest and mindfulness. Or perhaps a change in circumstances shifted or redefined your values to an extent. 

For example, a person might say that while they craved stability as a child because of their home life, they now see the value of risk-taking and adventure in enriching their own knowledge and experiences. In this example, both security and risk are important to the speaker, but their experiences ultimately shifted weight from one value to another.

Regardless of how you approach your personal statement, insight is the overarching meaning that you take away from the relevant experiences and values you’ve shared.

Are you looking for more guidance as you draft your personal statement? Check out this post on how to come up with a strong topic that wows your admissions reader!

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Article • 9 min read

What Are Your Values?

Deciding what's important in life.

By the Mind Tools Content Team

Key Takeaways

• Your personal values are a central part of who you are – and who you want to be.
• By becoming more aware of these vital factors in your life, you can use them as a guide to make the best choice in any situation.
• Some of life's decisions are really about determining what you value most. When many options seem reasonable, you can rely on your values to point you in the right direction.
• When how you live matches your values, life is usually good. When your existence doesn't align with your personal values, that's when things feel... wrong and you can feel unhappy.

How would you define your values?

Before you answer this question, you need to know what, in general, values are.

Your values are the things that you believe are important in the way you live and work.

They (should) determine your priorities, and, deep down, they're probably the measures you use to tell if your life is turning out the way you want it to.

When the things that you do and the way you behave match your values, life is usually good – you're satisfied and content. But when these don't align with your personal values, that's when things feel... wrong. This can be a real source of unhappiness.

This is why making a conscious effort to identify your values is so important. So in this article and in the video, below, we're going to take a look at how you can identify your personal values.

How Values Help You

Values exist, whether you recognize them or not. Life can be much easier when you acknowledge your values – and when you make plans and decisions that honor them.

If you value family, but you have to work 70-hour weeks in your job, will you feel internal stress and conflict? And if you don't value competition, and you work in a highly competitive sales environment, are you likely to be satisfied with your job?

In these types of situations, understanding your values can really help. When you know your own values, you can use them to make decisions about how to live your life, and you can answer questions like these:

• What job should I pursue?
• Should I accept this promotion?
• Should I start my own business?
• Should I compromise, or be firm with my position?
• Should I follow tradition, or travel down a new path?

So, take the time to understand the real priorities in your life, and you'll be able to determine the best direction for you and your life goals !

Values are usually fairly stable, yet they don't have strict limits or boundaries. Also, as you move through life, your values may change.

For example, when you start your career, success – measured by money and status – might be a top priority.

But after you have a family, work-life balance may be what you value more.

As your definition of success changes, so do your personal values. This is why keeping in touch with your values is a lifelong exercise. You should continuously revisit this, especially if you start to feel unbalanced... and you can't quite figure out why.

As you go through the exercise below, bear in mind that values that were important in the past may not be relevant now.

Defining Your Values

When you define your personal values, you discover what's truly important to you. A good way of starting to do this is to look back on your life – to identify when you felt really good, and really confident that you were making good choices.

Step 1: Identify the times when you were happiest

Find examples from both your career and personal life. This will ensure some balance in your answers.

• What were you doing?
• Were you with other people? Who?
• What other factors contributed to your happiness?

Step 2: Identify the times when you were most proud

Use examples from your career and personal life.

• Why were you proud?
• Did other people share your pride? Who?
• What other factors contributed to your feelings of pride?

Step 3: Identify the times when you were most fulfilled and satisfied

Again, use both work and personal examples.

• What need or desire was fulfilled?
• How and why did the experience give your life meaning?
• What other factors contributed to your feelings of fulfillment?

Step 4: Determine your top values, based on your experiences of happiness, pride, and fulfillment

Why is each experience truly important and memorable? Use the following list of common personal values to help you get started – and aim for about 10 top values. (As you work through, you may find that some of these naturally combine. For instance, if you value philanthropy, community, and generosity, you might say that service to others is one of your top values.)

Common Personal Core Values

Step 5: prioritize your top values.

This step is probably the most difficult, because you'll have to look deep inside yourself. It's also the most important step, because, when making a decision, you'll have to choose between solutions that may satisfy different values. This is when you must know which value is more important to you.

• Write down your top values, not in any particular order.
• Look at the first two values and ask yourself, "If I could satisfy only one of these, which would I choose?" It might help to visualize a situation in which you would have to make that choice. For example, if you compare the values of service and stability, imagine that you must decide whether to sell your house and move to another country to do valuable foreign aid work, or keep your house and volunteer to do charity work closer to home.
• Keep working through the list, by comparing each value with each other value, until your list is in the correct order.

If you have a tough time doing this, consider using Paired Comparison Analysis to help you. With this method, you decide which of two options is most important, and then assign a score to show how much more important it is. Since it's so important to identify and prioritize your values, investing your time in this step is definitely worth it.

Step 6: Reaffirm your values

Check your top-priority values, and make sure that they fit with your life and your vision for yourself.

• Do these values make you feel good about yourself?
• Are you proud of your top three values?
• Would you be comfortable and proud to tell your values to people you respect and admire?
• Do these values represent things you would support, even if your choice isn't popular, and it puts you in the minority?

When you consider your values in decision making, you can be sure to keep your sense of integrity and what you know is right, and approach decisions with confidence and clarity. You'll also know that what you're doing is best for your current and future happiness and satisfaction.

Making value-based choices may not always be easy. However, making a choice that you know is right is a lot less difficult in the long run.

Top Tip for Defining Your Own Core Values

You can breathe life into your values by defining briefly, in writing, what they represent to you. Crystalizing what they stand for and why they matter to you will help embed their importance.

Keep the definitions short and write them in your own words, so you are really connected to them. These definitions will be handy reminders of who you are and what matters most to you – when and if you need reminding when there are decisions to be made.

For example, if one of your core values is “creativity” you might say, “I value it because the ability to solve problems and to come up with fresh, new ideas brings me joy and a deep sense of fulfillment.”

Frequently Asked Questions About Values

What does it mean to have values.

Your values are the beliefs and principles that you believe are important in the way that you live and work.

They (should) determine your priorities, and guide your decisions and the way you act towards others. When the things that you do, and the way that you behave, match your values, life is usually good.

Why Are Personal Values Important?

Understanding your values can really help make life easier and make you happier.

This happens because when you acknowledge your values – and make plans and decisions that honor them – you can use your values to make truly informed decisions about how to live your life.

By understanding the real priorities in your life, you'll be able to determine the best direction for you and meaningful life goals.

Identifying and understanding your values is a challenging and important exercise. Your personal values are a central part of who you are – and who you want to be. By becoming more aware of these important factors in your life, you can use them as a guide to make the best choice in any situation.

Some of life's decisions are really about determining what you value most. When many options seem reasonable, it's helpful and comforting to rely on your values – and use them as a strong guiding force to point you in the right direction.

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Comments (6)

tom like lachie

about 2 months

i think i might be pregnant and i am a boy so i am pooing bricks

Naazish Mohsin

Interesting write up where are the references?

I would highly recommend people to try a scientific core values finder assessment instead of informal quizes.

has a good balance.

Donagh Kenny

excellenet resource

over 1 year

Latrece Thomas

I feel that everyone should set high values for themself. Integrity is a value I think 🥰 everyone should honor.

i think i might be pregnant

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Core Values in Personal Belief System Essay

Although a number of values shape my life, there are five values that are very important to me. These are my core values and include happiness, family, friends, pleasure and financial security and stability. I received these values from my parents and major events that have shaped my life. Additionally, these values dictate my daily activities and how I relate to people in the society. For that reason, my core values signify things that outline my life. I will be discussing who I am in terms of important values that shape my personal belief system and decision-making framework that describes the direction of my life.

The key to happiness is maximizing pleasure and reducing pain. Happiness is an indication that my life has a meaning and that I can accomplish my goals. The pleasant moods and emotions brought about by happiness are very important to me. However, I must fulfill most of my aspirations in order to live a happy life. Therefore, the more desires I fulfill, the happier my life will be. Moreover, happier people are physically and mentally healthier. Consequently, happiness gives me the necessary strength and right frame of mind to face life. Happiness, hence, drives my success. As a result, my life becomes more satisfying.

A family brings about a feeling of being wanted and connected to my close confidants. Therefore, a family is very important to me. This is because I have people around me who I can look up to in times of happiness and sorrow. In this context, a family is not only my kinsmen but also people I can closely relate to. It will be very difficult for me to succeed without people who care and trust me. In addition, a family will take pride in my success and encourage me when I am down and out. Moreover, with my nuclear family close, I am guaranteed of a loyal support. For that reason, I believe that I am who I am because of my family.

Having friends will always be in the list of my core values. To me, friends create a social bond which has many advantages. To start with, friends help me overcome and interpret challenges. In addition, I continuously learn a lot of new things from friends. For instance, I discover new survival tactics in the various traits displayed by my friends. Moreover, friends help me socialize. This is advantageous to me because socializing offers some emotional support to me. Consequently, stress and depression associated with loneliness are not in my dictionary. Friends, therefore, help me cope with life in the best way possible.

As a human being, I seek satisfaction in all my undertakings. Pleasure, as a core value, is all about satisfaction. Moreover, pleasure generates happiness in me. For that reason, I am able to face life as a more contented person. However, not all things derive pleasure to me. Therefore, I prioritize my daily activities depending on the pleasure generated. This helps me live a more focused and efficient life. Pleasure, therefore, brings out the best in me. It makes me work very hard towards achieving my lifetime goals.

Financial security and stability is also very important value to me. Although money cannot buy happiness, it brings about contentment. God will only cater for my needs if I work towards my financial security and stability. This is because I need money to cater for my bills. This means that my survival solely depends on my finances. Additionally, financial security will enable me enjoy the good things of life and deal with emergencies. As a result, I will be able to live a happy and stable life. Financial stability will also help me have a fruitful life after retirement. Therefore, my life will never be the same again without this core value.

None of my core values can act independently. The interaction among the five core values is what dictates who I am. These values determine how I interact with other people and which strategies I apply in life. They are truly what drive my life forward. Therefore, knowing and acknowledging my core values brings about satisfaction in me. Furthermore, these core values also help me design my lifetime goals. They, thus, help dictate the direction my life will take.

In conclusion, I agree that values are important to my life. However, my core values mean a lot to me. My core values include happiness, family, friends, pleasure and financial security and stability. The pleasant moods and emotions brought about by happiness are very important to me. In additionally, a family brings a feeling of being wanted and connected to my close confidants. Furthermore, friends help me overcome and interpret challenges in life. Moreover, Pleasure generates satisfaction and happiness in me. Finally, financial stability and security brings about contentment in me. However, none of these values can act alone. Therefore, I require the right mix of these values in order to live a successful life.

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IvyPanda. (2021, April 9). Core Values in Personal Belief System. https://ivypanda.com/essays/core-values-in-personal-belief-system/

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Published: 12/05/2021

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Core values

Core values are principles that guide the behavior of people and also supports the goals and purpose of an individual. They usually define who the person is. They are necessary virtues that guide people in achieving their visions and missions. Different people have different core values that assist them in their respective areas of duty. I have different core values that define who I am. Core values cannot be helpful to a person unless they maintain the integrity with them. I have been able to achieve different goals and targets because of living a life that is aligned with my core values. Core values enable people to have meaningful lives, thereby giving them the feeling of satisfaction that comes when one achieves the goals and mission. The most important personal values I observe are integrity, authenticity, courage, compassion, truthfulness, and trust. My first core value is integrity. It is a quality that enables people to live with honest and observing strong moral values. It allows me to maintain upright morals and good ethical standards in whatever I do. Standing by the value of integrity is hard. For that reason, I treat integrity as the only option. It acts as an internal compass that directs the person to the right directing whatever he or she is doing. The other core value I observe is authenticity. Through this value, I live genuinely by being honest with me. It helps me accept my limits, knowing what I’m capable of and what I’m not capable of doing. It is a significant value since it helps me abide by other core values by being aligned with them. There are many ways through which I enhance the authenticity virtue. It is possible through being courageous to self-disclose what I can, being transparent, and gauging myself to know my limits. Courage is the other value that is associated with authenticity. With courage, you do everything without fears of what other people may think of you. It helps me take risks and doing what I think is integral to me. Compassion is the fourth core value I observe. Being kind and sensitive to other people is important. Understanding people and being empathetic to them during problems increases the chances of the same people helping you during the problem. People usually forget what you say, but they will never forget what you do. Therefore, compassion helps to perform good deeds for other people. The said core values have different roles they play in my life, although they assist in one goal that is self-development. I live by my values in everything I do. By so doing, I always find myself mostly doing the right thing. I am always constantly principled with making a change in my life, and this becomes the critical reasons why I adopted the said core values. Core values are not permanent and are sometimes broken depending on the circumstances. Values are not laws and are not enforceable hence I can at some situations break them. Some situations can make me reconsider my core values or at some stages change them. In the case where I am involved in crime, and there is the possibility of facing conviction, I will be forced to reconsider some of the values. For instance, it can be a situation whereby if you tell the truth, you will be found guilty, the only option will be going against the value of integrity to avoid the sentence. That is an example of a situation where I will reconsider my values.

Dennis, S. (2012). The Strength perspective in social work practice. Pearson Higher Ed. Jerzy, S. (2007). Core Values and Cultural Identity. Ethnic and racial studies, 4(1), 75-90. Shalom, S., & Vittorio, G. (2010). Basic Personal Values, Core Political Values, and Voting: Longitudinal Analysis. Political Psychology, 31(3), 421-452. Wreight, M. (2015). Personal core values. Retrieved from The integrity coach: www.theintrgrity coach.com?personal-core-values

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What Are Your Personal Values?

• Jennifer Nash

Three exercises to help you get to know yourself better.

Learning about what matters to you is key to the decisions you make in your life. Author Jennifer Nash shares how she re-discovered her values during a workshop.

• As a successful career professional and a new entrepreneur, Jennifer thought she was content with her life until she realized all that she had sacrificed to get there — friendships, finances, and family.
• Through the workshop, she learned that being vulnerable and open to change helped her deal with uncertainty better.
• She shares three activities that helped her learn more about herself — a life-wheel concept, a journey map, and reframing your thinking.

Where your work meets your life. See more from Ascend here .

Early this year, I attended a three-week long workshop to help me improve my productivity and wellbeing. Walking into my first session, everything seemed normal. I met 19 other people from across the globe, we introduced ourselves, and then, we were asked to complete a self-reflection exercise. We were each handed a sheet of paper with a circle printed at its center. The circle was divided into eight equal segments: Career. Romance. Health. Family. Relationships. Spirituality. Fun. Finances.

• Jennifer Nash , PhD is an executive coach to senior leaders at Fortune 50 organizations, including Google, Exxon Mobil, JP Morgan, Boeing, and Verizon. A former executive at Deloitte Consulting, she is the CEO of Jennifer Nash Coaching & Consulting, helping successful leaders and organizations elevate performance. You can download her Success Toolkit here.

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“Until you make peace with who you are, you will never be content with what you have.” ~Doris Mortman

As I sit here writing this, I am still in the middle of a huge shift in my life, a shift that has seen me move from living by other people’s values and expectations to identifying and living by my own.

The catalyst for change was a health scare when, on my thirtieth birthday, my doctor told me that I may have cervical cancer. Luckily, I got the all clear, but something had shifted and I realized how dissatisfied with my life I was. I felt like I was swimming against the tide; everything was a struggle.

At the time I was well on my way to achieving what I wanted: money, a high-status job, and the ability to buy lots of stuff.

I owned my own house and a car and I was out of the house twelve to thirteen hours a day working. For me, that was success. However, my ambition just seemed to disappear overnight and I went into freefall.

I felt exhausted, I was ill all the time, drinking and eating too much, and it was all I could do to drag myself out of bed in the morning to go to work. (I was doing a daily four-hour commute.) To quote Julie Roberts in Eat, Pray, Love , “You know what I felt this morning? Nothing. No passion, no spark, no faith, no heat, no nothing!”

I didn’t realize it at the time, but as soon as I started to question my life, I subconsciously communicated to the universe that I wanted—needed—to change things.

I started taking on freelance work to see if I could reignite my passion for my career. I found that people wanted my services, which increased my confidence and made me realize just how low I felt after working for years in a macho and competitive environment that was never going to nourish me.

I suddenly thought, I can earn money as a freelancer, I should start my own business . I decided to keep going at my current job for another six months and build the business in what little spare time I had.

An hour after making that decision, I had yet another confrontational email from a colleague based on a lie told by another. I resigned that day. I already felt lighter.

I went into business for myself and I hated it. Now I know that it was because I wasn’t ready, plus I went into business as a marketing consultant, which I wasn’t passionate about.

Working on my own at home didn’t suit me, and the income instability meant I hit rock bottom. There were panic attacks , more illness, and I am certain I was fast heading to the stage where I would be needing antidepressants.

As I hit rock bottom, I had an epiphany and realized that two of the main things I need in life are:

1. Human interaction on an almost daily basis

2. A certain level of security—that’s why I was so keen to buy a house, when most twenty-five-year-olds are renting and moving around. I am a homebody to my core.

If a base level of security and being alone all the time are my life ‘deal breakers,’ then why had I been trying to build a life that didn’t incorporate them? I needed to get in touch with my real values.

I began reading books and articles, anything I could get my hands on, about personal values and how to identify them .

I identified the values I had been living by for the past thirty years, the values that had been the basis of every major life decision I had ever made. I have listed the top ten below:

Status achieved through career

• Money and wealth
• Advancement — This is great for me if advancement is personal or spiritual, but in this case it was centered on career and money.
• Recognition
• Materialism
• Achievement — I still want to achieve and I still have goals, but it’s different when it is a goal you have set based on your core values.

The values that I had been living by were not mine but a close family member’s. They are not bad values, but they are not my values; they are not the things that are most important to me and how I live my life.

So who was I? What were my values? I had no idea.

At this point I had been trying to carry on with my business to earn money to pay the bills while ‘ finding myself ’ and interviewing for jobs. I got the first role I applied for as the marketing manager for a lifestyle business and a much more suitable environment for me as a person. It has allowed me to carry on with my voyage of self-discovery.

My ten core values, the values that I now live by, are:

• Positive/fulfilling relationships with friends and family
• Contentment — I love the simple things ; they make me feel at my most content.
• Peace — I can’t handle confrontation, drama , loud environments, or unnecessary competition; that’s why my previous job in a busy and noisy city for a company with a loud and competitive environment didn’t suit me.
• Fun  — Since I started living by my values, life has become so much more fun.
• Laughter — I love a good laugh; my friends, family, a lighter outlook on life, and the odd funny film or stand-up comedy routine provide this for me.
• Loyalty — I am loyal to my family, friends, colleagues, and community.
• Financial freedom — This doesn’t mean earning lots of money to me, but actually keeping life simple and living within my means.
• Passion — Since writing this article I have moved forward and decided that my true passion lies in writing, so I have recently set up as a freelance copywriter and blogger. This will mean a lot of changes and new challenges, but I am very excited about the future.
• Simplicity — This for me goes hand in hand with most of the other nine values; a simple life suits me.

So what wisdom can I pass on after my journey?

1. Your core values play a huge part in how you decide to live your life.

If you are unhappy with parts of your life—if you are suffering from stress, illnesses, and feel generally uneasy in the living of everyday life—then it might be time to go inside yourself and answer honestly the questions “What is important to me?” and “How do I want to live my life?”

You need to spend time identifying your values; it’s well worth the effort.

2. Don’t live by someone else’s values.

This makes life hard because you are never being true to yourself. It is so easy to do this because so many people, parents, family members, and teachers have a say in how we should be living our lives, and this can mean that we develop their values and not our own.

3. Once you start living by your values, life shifts in the most beautiful of ways.

You don’t hold on to the things that no longer serve you because you have everything you need within yourself. For example, I realized that although I was a good marketing manager, it wasn’t my passion.

I’ve taken the leap and decided to try writing full time. This may mean many more life changes and it’s scary, but I need to follow my heart.

Photo by Elade Manu

About Claire Hodgson

Claire is a former people pleaser and marketer, turned business and life coach. She is the founder of Burn the Corset and Authentic Marketing – Start your love affair with marketing & grow your business . Claire works with women and female business owners, guiding them toward success through their authentic selves. Follow Claire on Twitter @Grow_Thrive_Biz and on  Facebook .

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6 Ways to Discover and Choose Your Core Values

Knowing your values can guide your actions and give you inner peace..

Posted November 4, 2018 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

“What Should I Do?” Everyday Values Dilemmas

You’ve planned to have dinner with your friend on Friday night. On Friday morning, the guy you’ve been crushing on asks you out for the evening. Do you say yes and break the date with your friend?

You just got a raise. Should you bank it for retirement or make your life more comfortable now?

You wanted to get a head start on an important report for work later this evening. But your child has had a tough day and could benefit from your attention . Should you prioritize work or family?

Life presents an endless series of decisions, large and small, that require you to make difficult choices. While many factors are involved, the critical factor in deciding may be your core values. These values tell you what kind of person you are, or want to be, and provide guidelines, or even imperatives, for your actions.

But how do you know what your core values are? This blog post will reveal six ways to discover and choose your core values.

Values: A Definition

First, what is a “value” anyway?

Values “are the principles that give our lives meaning and allow us to persevere through adversity,” according to psychologist Barb Markway and Celia Ampel in The Self-Confidence Workbook . I love both parts of this definition—that values stand for our most meaningful ideals and also that they inspire us to keep going when the going gets tough.

You’ve probably learned many of your values from your parents, your teachers, your religious leaders, and the society around you. You’ve also probably rebelled against some of those values at times or changed your mind as you’ve learned more about yourself and your world. But it can be helpful to decide—or re-decide—the top six to eight values that mean the most to you right now and to have a shorthand label for those principles. That’s where the information below comes in.

Choosing Core Values

If you are not sure about your own core values, or if you would like to clarify which of your values are top priority now, here are six options.

1. Choose your top six to eight values from a wide-ranging list of values.

To do this, you need a good list.

Dr. Russ Harris, the author of numerous books about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), has provided such a list in his book, The Confidence Gap. You could also use a similar list from The Confidence Workbook or just use the mini-list that follows, making good use of the “other” option at the end of the list:

Financial Security; Compassion; Health/Fitness; Nature; Accomplishment; Creativity ; Dependability; Loyalty; Beauty; Bravery; Gratitude ; Love; Connection/Relationships; Learning; Leadership ; Survival; Self-Preservation; Security; Adventure; Family; Work; Success; Calm; Freedom; Other___; Other ___.

Now use one of these lists to select your top six to eight values. Yes, you can change your mind. In fact, it's natural to modify some of the values on this list as you face new and challenging situations. However, other values represent enduring ideals that you would only change under duress.

I did this activity recently using the Harris list, despite thinking beforehand that I already knew my values pretty well. It turned out to be enormously useful to put specific labels on my vague ideas of my core values. Among other things, I learned I put a high value on many of the “C” values, such as "compassion," "creativity," and "connection." Sometimes when I make a choice, I now say to myself, “Hmm. You decided to write a new blog instead of going out for coffee. That was creativity winning out over connection.”

Note that sometimes your choice is not between right and wrong but between two cherished values, as in my situation above.

2. Think of three to six people you most admire or love. Consider why they are so important to you.

Values can be personified in people that you love and admire. You can use this simple two-step process to uncover the values that you associate with your significant others and role models:

Step 1: Identify and write down six people who are important role models or valued connections for you. Step 2: Think of the values they embody. For example, your list might include: “my grandfather for his acceptance and love,” “my wife for her honesty,” “my colleague for his listening skills,” and “my friend for his loyalty,” to name a few.

Dr. Steven Hayes, the founder of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, suggests that you uncover your values by naming your heroes. For example, why do you admire, say, Martin Luther King, Jr.? Is it because he fought for social justice? Is it his commitment to non-violence? His kindness to others? Identifying the specific values embodied by your heroes can inspire you to adopt those values for yourself.

3. See a career counselor.

Your values are a major determinant of career choice, work decisions, and career transitions. For example, you may value “financial security,” “helping,” or “being my own boss (autonomy).” Each of those values might lead you down a different career path. That’s why career counselors have a large toolbox of strategies and inventories (self-report tests with no right answers) including values inventories to help match their clients to a compatible career area.

4. Use an online values inventory.

You can find various values inventories online. One free online values inventory is located here . The authors, R. Kelly Crace and Duane Brown, are experts in wellness and career development. Although I’ve never worked with this particular inventory before, I agree with the authors’ idea that clarifying your values can “serve as a blueprint for effective decision-making and optimal functioning.” (The inventory looks so intriguing that I intend to take it myself—it's actually on my list.) By the way, if you are concerned about confidentiality (and I hope you are), the website states that the information you supply will be used for ongoing research, but your name will not be linked to your data.

5. Observe yourself and learn.

As you live your life, be mindful of the choices you make. For several days, consciously put a label on the values behind your key decisions at work and at home. Pay particular attention to whether the values you chose above are reflected in your daily life. If not, what values are you expressing or living by as you go through your day? Are there patterns? What can you learn about what you want, what you are willing to give up, and what is non-negotiable in your life? If you experience a lot of dissatisfaction with your choices, you may not be living up to your values or you may need to re-evaluate what is most important to you.

6. Focus on the bitter and the sweet in your life.

Dr. Hayes suggests that you learn about your values by thinking back to both the sweetest and most painful moments of your life. These moments could direct you to what you care about most. For instance, what were the peak experiences that might reveal key values? If you won an award for teaching, consider that "leadership" or "motivating others" might be significant values. What were the most painful experiences? If you know the pain of being excluded by others, you might realize that "compassion" is one of your primary values.

Difficult Choices and Difficult People

As mentioned above, there are times when two cherished values will be in conflict. Knowing why you are choosing Value 1 instead of Value 2 can be helpful in resolving any inner conflict you may feel. And certain values may rise to the top in particular situations. For example, during an emergency, “survival” may become the value that guides your actions. Values will also shift over time as you fulfill your various goals —for example, once you achieve a comfortable degree of "financial security," that value may recede into the background and other values may take its place.

Sometimes you’ll have to defend against difficult people—such as psychopaths, extreme narcissists, and master manipulators—who seem to be guided by negative values. With such people, it can be a challenge to stick to the positive values highlighted in this blog. Then there are the people who pay lip service to “core values” and “family values,” but whose choices betray their words as just empty rhetoric.

Observing yourself and being honest about what you see might keep the phrase “core values” from becoming a cliché. You can’t be perfect and you’ll often need to compromise, but you can aim for the integrity that a values-driven life can provide. As Dr. Harris sums it up in The Confidence Gap: “True success is living by your values.”

Know Your Values, Know Yourself

“Values” is one of six key elements to knowing who you are, as I explain in this blog . The others are interests, temperament, biorhythms , life goals, and strengths. But of all these, knowing your values is the royal road to self-knowledge because values choices both reveal and build character as you act on them. Your values are even more important than your goals, as Dr. Harris points out, because you might not reach your goals, but you can almost always choose to live by your values.

A Preview of Coming Attractions

This blog has focused chiefly on identifying your values so that you can make better life decisions. But there's much, much more. Although it's hard to believe, knowing your core values can help you reduce stress , communicate with more compassion, increase your self-confidence, and power up your willpower . The next blog will reveal the research behind those benefits and how you can utilize it for yourself.

Meanwhile, experiment with living the "values-driven life." Does living by your values increase your sense of satisfaction with yourself and your life?

© Meg Selig, 2018. All rights reserved. For permissions, click here .

Harris, R. (2011) The Confidence Gap . Trumpeter Books: Boulder, CO, p. 146.

Markway, B. & Ampel, C. (2018) The Self-Confidence Workbook . Althea Press: Emeryville, CA, p. 28.

Selig, M. “Know Yourself: 6 Specific Ways to Know Who You Are,” psychologytoday,

Hayes, S. C. "10 Signs You Know What Matters," Psychology Today , Sept/Oct 2018, p. 53 ff.

Values inventory . / https://www.lifevaluesinventory.org .

Meg Selig is the author of Changepower! 37 Secrets to Habit Change Success .

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Home / Essay Samples / Philosophy / Values of Life / Analysis and Understanding of Personal Core Values of My Life

Analysis and Understanding of Personal Core Values of My Life

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