advantages of arranged marriage essay

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Arranged Marriages’ Advantages and Disadvantages

Welcome to our argumentative essay sample on arranged marriage: advantages and disadvantages. Here, you’ll find the disadvantages and advantages of arranged marriage, discussion, statistics, and other aspects of the debate.

Arranged Marriage: Essay Introduction

Arranged marriages in the modern society, arranged marriage advantages and disadvantages, advantages of arranged marriages, disadvantages of arranged marriages, arranged marriage: essay conclusion, works cited.

Arranged marriages were very popular in traditional societies across the world. Arranged marriage was considered the best way through which a man or woman of the right age could get the right life partner for the continuity of a given lineage. However, modernization and Westernization have changed this mindset about arranged marriages not only in Western countries but also in various parts of the world.

Inasmuch as arranged marriages are still common all over the world. Many people now prefer selecting their life partners through unarranged processes. The debate about the relevance of arranged marriages is still raging in various societies across the world.

The practice is still common among Muslim communities, but the current generation is very keen on selecting their life partners based on love other than through arranged processes. This does not mean that arranged marriages are non-existence in the modern society. According to Tseng (127), arranged marriages are still common in the current society. The researcher seeks to determine the benefits and shortcomings of having arranged marriages.

Arranged married were very common in past societies. Many factors made arranged marriages to be very important in traditional societies. Entezar (52) gives an example of a typical Muslim society in Saudi Arabia, where arranged marriages were very common in the past.

In this society, morality was highly valued. As children grew up, they had to understand and appreciate their identity. Boys had to grow up knowing that they would be heads of their families and had to work hard towards making their future life as good as they desired. On the other side, girls had to grow up knowing that they were responsible for household chores. They had to know how to prepare their homes and take care of their children.

At the adolescent stage, there were strict rules concerning the manner in which adolescent boys and girls were expected to interact. At this delicate stage of development, boys were not expected to mingle freely with girls (Lamanna and Riedmann 33). This was important because the elders knew that if this happened, then these teenagers might find themselves engaging in irresponsible behavior that may ruin the future of the girls. Society highly cherished the virginity of a woman at marriage, and this was one of the ways of protecting it.

In this kind of social setting, it was very difficult for young adults planning to marry to mingle with the members of the opposite sex so that they could understand each other and determine whether they were in love and could live together. This made it necessary for the parents or the society to arrange the marriages for their children.

With all the experience they had and knowledge about other families, parents could determine the appropriate life partner for their children. In most cases, they would conduct an investigation on the family and the man or woman who is planned to be the life partner of their children.

When they were satisfied, they would inform their children about the intended union. According to Roberts (78), although the two who were to be unionized were given the liberty to give their verdict over the issue, especially the man, they were expected to respect their parents’ opinion. However, rejecting a partner that the parents had approved was considered rude and unethical. For this reason, the parents’ decision would prevail, and the marriage would proceed with the blessings of parents from both sides.

The social structure of many communities around the world is changing very first due to the changes brought about by science and technology. It is common for an Emirati girl to travel to the United Kingdom or the United States at a tender age for further studies. Similarly, people from other parts of the world are flocking to the United Arab Emirates for various reasons, from tourism to trade. For instance, Dubai is currently one of the most diversified cities on earth because of its relevance as a strategic business hub.

As Tseng (43) puts it, the current society is a global village. The emergence of modern technologies and the relevance of the Western education system have redefined the social structure of society not only in the Middle East but also in the entire world. A child does not need to leave Abu Dhabi for the United States in order to be Westernized. The movies they watch and the music they listen to make them question some of the established systems in their traditional setting.

In the current society, it is not possible to prevent close interactions between adolescent girls and boys in Muslim communities. Parents have realized that the best gift they can give to their children is formal education, irrespective of their gender. For this reason, boys and girls will mingle freely at school.

They share classrooms, and sometimes, they are assigned tasks together. According to Lamanna and Riedmann (33), teachers have been forced to bear the pressure from human rights activists who insist on giving both boys and girls equal opportunities at school. This involves treating them equally in every activity, especially at higher levels of learning.

In this highly integrated setting, young adults can get to understand each other. A young man planning to marry should know that different women behave differently. The same case will apply to a woman. She will know the kind of man she would want as a life partner. Entezar (39) calls this liberation. The education system liberates the mind of the younger generation from tight control from their parents.

They can look at the world from their own perspective to determine what they want in life. The main question that many people have been asking is the relevance of arranged marriages in the current liberated society. In the past, young adults would not mingle easily, and this made it difficult to choose the right life partner. In the current society, this has changed as the education system makes it possible for these people to interact very closely.

In the past, knowledge and wisdom were believed to rest with the elders, and their views were almost considered a sacred command that was not to be questioned, even if it was apparent that they were in error. In the current society, the younger populations have been liberated, and they have the capacity to advise the elders about the future.

Despite these facts, a number of people still find arranged marriages very important for the well-being of the couple and the community at large. At this stage, it will be important to analyze the benefits and shortcomings of arranged marriages.

Arranged marriages remain popular not only among Muslims but also in other societies around the world. According to Tseng (81), even in the West, it is common to see parents trying to influence the choice of life partners for their children.

This is an indication that even with all the education that their children may have and the westernizations- having been born and brought up in the West, the parents always have the feeling that their children could make a mistake when choosing their life partners. This creates a feeling that they should play a role in making this important choice. This is a strong suggestion that arranged marriages have benefits that should not be ignored.

One of the biggest advantages of arranged marriages is that the partners will have a perfect match when it comes to culture, religion, social status, lifestyle, and many other factors that always affect the compatibility of couples. As Browne (83) notes, basing marriage on love is great, but sometimes when love defines everything, then one would be blinded to some of the social incompatibilities that may make life difficult for the couple after marriage.

It will force the partners to make compromises, some of which may go against one’s own beliefs and customs. At the early stages of life, making such compromises may be simple because of the infatuation brought about by the feeling of love.

However, as the couple settles down in marriage, these realities start setting in, and it may cause serious strains in the relationship. Unless the couple is strong-willed and determined to make everything work in their favor, the marriage can be brought to an end after a short while. The following figure shows the rising cases of divorce in the UAE from 1960 to 2008.

This problem can easily be solved when the marriages are arranged. The people arranging the marriage will ensure that the couple is perfectly compatible before they can be allowed to marry.

It is a fact that in arranged marriages, the couple gets to benefit from the support they get from their parents and family members. When parents and members of the community are allowed to play a part in arranging the marriage, they will feel honored. They will take all the responsibilities in the entire marriage process. The parties who are getting into this union will be relieved of the financial burden that is involved in organizing the marriage.

Members of the community will ensure that all the expenses are addressed because it is their responsibility. All the tasks will be addressed from the communal level, meaning that the couple will get maximum support when organizing the wedding. The feeling that family members are happy with the marriage also has a positive psychological impact on the partners.

They will start life knowing that they have the full support of members of their communities. In such weddings, people will come and celebrate together as they witness the union. Given the fact that they were the organizers, make feel responsible. They will bring many gifts to help the couple start life without struggling much.

Marriages are designed to last forever, whether it is in the traditional setting or in modern Westernized society. When two people come together in marriage through the support of the parents and community members, they get a wide base of moral support whenever they have problems in their families.

Given the fact that members of the society organized their marriage, they have the moral authority to go back to them in case they are experiencing problems. Parents from both sides can be called to help solve the problem, and they will feel obliged to extend their help. The two will realize that their union is not limited to their family. Such unions bring together the entire community, and this minimizes the chances of divorce.

Every member of the community will try to help the couple work out their way in life, even in the face of challenges. The partners from both sides will also find themselves with a moral obligation to the community. They will know that their families and society cherish their marriage. This will make them determined to find solutions to the problems that may affect their marriage as a way of respecting their family members. In such unions, even children group up knowing the importance of love and family ties.

According to a survey conducted by Roberts (2), arranged marriages are becoming less common in modern society. This is so because people have come to realize that arranged marriages have a number of flaws that make them undesirable. Below are the results obtained from the survey in four countries about the attitude of members of society towards arranged marriages.

From the statistics shown above, it is clear that most of the participants in this survey noted that they do not have favorable attitudes toward arranged marriages. They noted a number of factors that make them feel that arranged marriages are a practice that should not be encouraged in modern society. The following are some of the specific disadvantages of arranged marriages. According to Browne (73), in arranged marriages, the decision to choose one’s partner is taken away from one’s hands.

The elders have the sole discretion of choosing a life partner for an individual who plans to marry. Marriage is a complex process that involves bringing together two completely different individuals into a lifetime union. The personality of the life partner will define the quality of life one has.

Given the sensitivity of this issue, one should be allowed to take time to understand the other person who is supposed to be the life partner. This would require a long time of interaction, trying to understand the personality of the person to determine if a life together can be a personality. The opportunity is denied to people who engage in arranged marriages.

According to Lamanna and Riedmann (33), in most cases, couples in arranged marriages find themselves in union with people who have contrasting personalities. It is important to appreciate that sharing religious beliefs, cultural practices, or social status may not necessarily make them compatible. The personalities of an individual may not be rigidly defined using demographical factors. Sometimes people of a completely different caste may find themselves more compatible than those that share their caste.

What makes the whole system very complex is the attachment that members of the family will have to that marriage. The two couples may be forced to stay together even if they find fundamental contrasts in their personalities simply because their parents and community members arranged their marriage. Such people will stay in their marriages because of the wish of their parents. As Entezar (67) notes, the marriage will cease to be blissful, and it will turn into a prison, as demonstrated in the figure below.

As demonstrated in the above figure, the partners will have more questions than answers in their union. Happiness will be gone, and in most cases, they will regret why they accepted the union in the first place. According to Lamanna and Riedmann (33), love in arranged marriages takes a secondary position. The partners are not given time to bond and develop love towards each other before their marriage.

Those who are involved in arranging the marriage always assume that the two will develop an attraction and love towards each other once they are in a marriage. However, this fallacy should be avoided. Chances are high that if the two entered into a marriage without love, then they may spend their entire lives without loving each other.

Entezar (56) describes such unions as marriages of convenience. The parties involved in the marriage will not be doing it for their own sake and for the sake of love. They will be doing it for the sake of their parents. They will be trying to please people around them, disregarding the importance of a strong bond that is always created by love. This weakens the foundation of their marriage.

The research by Browne (47) shows that arranged marriages are vulnerable to interferences from external forces. When family members participate in bringing the couple together, they will develop a feeling that they have the right to define the way the family is run. Each of the family members will make an effort to define the way the couple will be leading their lives. In some cases, these family members may find themselves positions in the newly created family.

They will want to visit the new family at wish, and whenever they have a personal problem, they will demand help from the couple simply because they participated in bringing them together. As Tseng (112) says, such environments are not good for the growth of the new family. Sometimes the demands of these family members may be unrealistic. Such negative forces are uncommon when the couple makes their own decisions when marrying.

Arranged marriages are still commonly practiced in the modern society. It is clear from the above discussion that this form of marriage was more common in traditional societies than it is in the current society. However, even in the current society, it is clear that one cannot dismiss the relevance of arranged marriages.

These marriages help in bringing family members together when choosing a life partner. This research reveals that despite these advantages, arranged marriages also have shortcomings that should be considered before a family can subject one of their own to it. Based on this discussion, using a blend of arranged and unarranged marriages may be of great benefit to the members of the family and, most importantly, to the couple.

Browne, Ken. An Introduction to Sociology . Cambridge: Polity Press, 2011. Print.

Entezar, Eshan. Afghanistan 101: Understanding Afghan Culture . New Jersey: Xlibris Corporation, 2008. Print.

Lamanna, Mary, and Agnes. Riedmann. Marriages & Families: Making Choices and Facing Change . Belmont: Wadsworth, 2006. Print.

Roberts, Kathleen. Communication Ethics: Between Cosmopolitanism and Provinciality . New York: Lang, 2008. Print.

Tseng, Wen-Shing. Handbook of Cultural Psychiatry . San Diego: Academic Press, 2001. Print.

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Arranged marriage: the only 10 pros and cons that matter

My parents had an arranged marriage, as did their parents before them. I chose to take another route and fall in love before marriage , not after it.

But it’s always fascinated me – the complexities of arranged marriage and whether it actually works or not. So, in this article, I’ll discuss the pros and cons so you can make up your own mind about it.

Let’s start with the good stuff:

The advantages of an arranged marriage

1) it’s an introduction rather than an instant marriage proposal.

Contrary to popular belief, nowadays, an arranged marriage is not much different from your best friend introducing you to someone casually over drinks.

Okay, maybe minus the drinks but you get the gist – it should be an introduction and no pressure to jump straight into commitment.

My grandparent’s generation, for example, might have met their future spouse once (or sometimes not at all) before the wedding day. The families would do all the planning with little or no involvement from the actual couple.

Back in those times, and even in some very conservative families today, the couple will remain strangers until the day they wed.

A lot has changed since then – now, most families will introduce the couple and depending on religious practices, allow the pair to get to know each other, either alone or chaperoned.

Most couples will have a significant engagement period where they can date before marriage , get to know each other’s families, and start planning their future life together.

2) Shared values and beliefs make it easier to build a life together

Marriage is the act of two people coming together, and with them, they bring both their upbringings, habits, and traditions.

So when the family scout out a suitable partner for their child, they naturally try to choose someone who shares these values. This can range from:

• Having the same religious beliefs
• Being from the same or similar culture
• Working in similar sectors/having financial compatibility

Now, to some, this might sound limiting, and for good reason. My partner is of a different culture and religion than mine, and we love the diversity and sharing of our cultural practices.

But for many families, preserving these customs is of utmost importance. They want to pass down their beliefs to the next generation, and the easiest way to do this is by

finding a partner of similar standing.

And that’s not the only reason:

Couples who share the same values tend to experience less conflict since they’re already on the same page as each other.

And, if the couple’s upbringings are similar, it makes it easier for them to merge into each other’s families.

After all, in most cultures that practice arranged marriages, you don’t marry just your spouse, you marry into their family .

3) There’s no ambiguity around the other person’s intentions

Have you ever been in a relationship and a few months (or even years) down the line, wondered whether your partner wants to ever officially settle down with you or not?

Or, being on a first date, unable to work out whether the other person wants a one-night stand or something more serious?

Well, all that ambiguity is taken away with arranged marriage. Both parties know exactly what they’re there for – marriage.

I asked a cousin for her take on this – she had had boyfriends in the past, but ultimately opted for an arranged marriage when the time felt right.

She enjoyed the fact that when her (now) husband was first introduced to her, the time they spent getting to know each other was more meaningful because they both had the common goal of getting married.

They went on dates, spent hours chatting on the phone, all the usual excitement that comes with falling in love, yet their conversations were focused on figuring out if they would make suitable life partners for each other.

In her words, it saved a lot of faffing around and time-wasting.

4) You don’t have to do the hard work of finding “the one”

Let’s be honest, dating can be great fun, but it can also suck if you struggle to find people you connect with on a relationship level.

After a while, you can end up wondering how many frogs you need to kiss to find “the one”. In an arranged marriage, forget the frogs, your family will do their best to find someone they feel suits you in every way possible, the first time around.

Now, that’s not to say having past relationship experience isn’t useful – it is.

You learn a lot from heartbreak or dating the wrong person. You learn what you want and what you don’t want in a relationship.

But for many young people, not having to search for “the one” frees up time to focus on other things; career, friends, family, and hobbies.

It’s also less stressful since the families will usually “vet” each other beforehand, so when you are introduced to a potential partner you already have the low-down on their job, family, lifestyle, etc.

The usual information that takes a few dates to learn is already given upfront, making it easier to see if the match will work out or if it’s unsuitable.

5) Strengthens the family unit

Many cultures that practice arranged marriage focus more on togetherness rather than individuality.

Family ties are very strong, and when a young person allows their parents to find a future partner for them, it’s a sign of great trust.

And the truth is:

The newly married couple will tend to keep their families in the mix, even once they’ve moved out and created a life for themselves.

And one more point:

As the newlyweds get to know each other, so do their families. This creates unity within communities, as families are invested in helping the couple succeed in their marriage.

6) There’s a lot of support and guidance from the families

And leading on from the last point, this unity within families means that the couple will receive an exceptional amount of support from their loved ones.

In an arranged marriage, you aren’t wed and then thrown into the world and left to work out the complexities of marriage alone.

Oh no…quite the opposite.

The parents, grandparents, and even extended relatives will band together and help the couple in times of need, as well as with:

• Resolving conflict between the couple
• Helping with children
• Supporting them with finances
• Ensuring the marriage remains happy and loving

This is because EVERYONE is invested in the marriage, not just the couple.

The families want to see it work out. And since they made the introduction, it’s on them to ensure their kids’ happiness throughout the marriage (to an extent).

7) It can elevate social status

It might sound outdated to talk about social status and standing, but in many cultures around the world, this is still an important factor when choosing a spouse.

But the truth is, in many societies marriage is seen as a way to preserve the wealth of the family.

Or, as a way to elevate one’s status, if they marry into a family wealthier than their own.

But ultimately, it’s a way to ensure financial stability for both the couple and their families.

It wasn’t uncommon in the past for families who wanted to enter into business together or form alliances to arrange for their youngsters to marry.

The marriage was a way of bonding the two families together.

**It’s important to note that arranging a marriage solely on wealth preservation with no regard as to whether the couple would even get along is irresponsible. The positives of arranged marriage lie in finding a partner who is compatible in all senses, not only financially.

8) It’s based on compatibility instead of emotions

Compatibility. Without it, no marriage would last.

Some even say compatibility is more important than love.

It’s what allows you to live harmoniously with your spouse…even once those feelings of infatuation and romance have died down.

Having spoken to several young men and women about arranged marriage and why they opt for it even though they’ve been brought up in Western countries, many cite this as their reason for it.

They appreciate that love and dating are a natural part of life, but they don’t want to be caught up in emotion when choosing a life partner.

For a marriage that will last, having someone objective (the family in this case) who can judge whether the couple will make a good match or not seems like the safer option.

9) It’s a way to honor cultural traditions

As we’ve already established, arranged marriages are very much a cultural/religious practice. Here are some parts of the world where it’s still the done thing (to varying degrees):

• In India, it’s believed around 90% of all marriages are arranged.
• There are also high levels in surrounding Central Asian countries, such as Pakistan, Bangladesh, and Afghanistan.
• In China, the practice of arranged marriage was still common up until the last 50 years or so, when people decided to start taking their love lives into their own hand’s thanks to a change in the law.
• This can also be seen in Japan, where the tradition of “Omiai” is still practiced by 6-7% of the population .
• Some Orthodox Jews practice a type of arranged marriage whereby the parents will find suitable spouses for their children using a matchmaker.

Now we know that it’s more than just finding two people who get along; upbringing, finances, status, and more all play a part in arranged marriages.

But most importantly, perhaps, is the continuation of culture and religious beliefs. With each generation, traditions are passed down, with no fear of them becoming lost due to the mixing of cultures.

To some, this is a positive. Others may see this as a limitation, and truthfully, it can be both!

10) There may be more incentive for the couple to make it work

Again, this is a point which can be taken both positively and negatively. We’ll cover the negative aspects of it in the section below.

So what’s good about this incentive?

Well, rather than give up at the first hurdle, most couples will think twice before separating.

After all, both families have invested a lot into making this marriage happen, so you can’t duck out the first time you argue or face a tough patch in life.

It may also encourage the couple to respect each other even when there’s rising tension.

The last thing you want is your parents finding out you cursed at the man/woman they’ve introduced you to. Your nasty behavior will reflect on them.

Of course, this is easier said than done. And in an ideal world, respect would be given regardless of family involvement or not.

But in reality, arranged marriages are extremely varied and complex – they have their fair share of issues just as any type of marriage does.

So, with that in mind, let’s check out the cons of an arranged marriage to get the whole picture, because while it works for some, for others it can end in heartbreak and despair.

The disadvantages of an arranged marriage

1) marriage can feel like a contract rather than a union of love.

If it wasn’t clear before, there isn’t much room for emotion in an arranged marriage.

No one is going to ask the couple whether they’re in love because most of the time they haven’t had enough time together for that to happen before the wedding.

Marry first, then fall in love .

And when you add in how some marriages are arranged, it can almost seem like a job application – in India, for example, it’s common to use a “ biodata ”.

Think of it as the equivalent of a marriage CV.

Although there are different formats, they generally include things like:

• Personal details such as date of birth, place of birth, parent’s names, and family history
• Employment and education history
• Hobbies and passions
• A picture and details of appearance (including skin color, height, hair color, and fitness levels)
• Religion and even level of devotion in some cases
• A brief introduction of the bachelor/bachelorettes and what they’re searching for in a spouse

This biodata is passed around through family, friends, matchmakers, online marriage websites, and so on.

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When parents begin searching for a future bride or groom, they’ll pour through different biodata until they narrow down potential matches.

And even in the absence of the biodata, it can still feel like a contract since their families make all the arrangements and negotiations.

2) An arranged marriage couple may lack trust in each other

And because the couple themselves may not be given sufficient time to get to know each other, they risk entering a marriage where there’s no trust built up between them.

Sometimes for religious and cultural reasons, the couple might not be able to meet up alone, even if they’re engaged.

They require a chaperone when going out, which takes away the chance of having real, open conversations with each other.

Can you imagine dating someone with a family member hanging around on each date?

It’s a recipe for awkwardness, and therefore the couple ends up putting on their best behavior. They never get the chance to reveal their true selves.

This can have negative effects, as the start of any marriage is always a turbulent period while the couple learns to adjust to living with each other.

Add distrust into the mix and it can put quite the strain on the relationship.

3) It can become a burden on the family to impress future in-laws

One bad mark against a family’s name can have dire consequences on their child’s prospects of a good marriage proposal.

Families tend to ask around in the community, check with local religious leaders, and even consult friends or colleagues of the potential spouse and their family to find out more.

So all of this is an immense amount of pressure on families to have an impeccable reputation.

But let’s be honest about one thing:

Mistakes happen. People mess up. No family is perfect.

Is it fair that a young woman should suffer and be judged because her uncle committed a crime back in the ’90s?

Or that a young man will be penalized because his family is dysfunctional, even though he’s chosen a better life path for himself?

Unfortunately, this aspect of arranged marriage can potentially keep two people who would have been very happy together apart, solely because the families don’t like the look of each other.

It can also create an unhealthy environment whereby families become more concerned with their image in society rather than whether their family members are genuinely happy.

4) The family can become too involved in the marriage

As you might have noticed from the advantages of arranged marriage, the families are very much a part of the mix.

And this can become a real headache for a newly-wed couple who just want to start their life together.

• In-laws may interfere because they feel they’re entitled to since they had a hand in making the match.
• When the couple argues, the families might take sides and end up alienating each other or their son/daughter-in-law.

The bottom line is:

Sometimes, the issues of the married couple can spread out, like a ripple effect amongst the family, making the problem bigger than it needs to be.

But with that in mind, not every family is like this. Some prefer to put the couple in touch and then take a step back once they’re married.

After all, getting to know each other and navigating the rollercoaster of matrimony requires patience and time. Especially if you haven’t lived together before marriage .

5) The couple might feel pressured to get married

Let’s get one thing straight before we jump into this point:

Arranged marriage isn’t the same as forced marriage . The former requires the consent and willingness of both individuals. The latter is a marriage performed without consent and is illegal in most (if not all) countries.

But with that being said, I can’t lie and say that family and societal pressure don’t still play a role in arranged marriages.

I know I’m not alone in knowing of couples who begrudgingly got together because their families wouldn’t accept a “no” without putting up a fight.

This applies to:

• Saying yes to a match even if one or both don’t feel any connection
• Saying yes to getting married in the first place, even if one or both are against the idea of marriage

In some cases, even if the family gives their child a choice to accept a match or not, subtle emotional blackmailing can still sway the person’s decision.

This can be incredibly tough for the people to deal with; they don’t want to offend their family. But committing their life to someone they’re unsure of/unattracted to/disconnected from is a big sacrifice to make.

6) It could be harder to get a divorce

And for similar reasons listed above, the family pressure may put off unhappy couples from even considering divorce.

This can be for several reasons:

• They’re afraid of shaming or bringing dishonor to their family by getting a divorce
• Their family encourage them not to consider divorce to keep the peace between the two families
• A divorce may not feel like it’s just between the couple; it can feel like trying to divorce the entire family

Interestingly, the statistics on divorce in an arranged marriage is much less than in “love marriages” (marriages out of personal choice without external help). Some studies have shown they make up roughly 6% of divorces globally .

On the other hand, love marriages make up about 41% of divorces globally.

So there’s a big difference there, but it may not all be for good reasons:

• Some believe this is due to issues like gender inequality , lengthy and costly divorce processes, and social stigma.
• In some societies where arranged marriage is practiced, getting a divorce is looked down upon, and it’s usually divorced women that are labeled negatively.
• There can also be cultural/religious implications that may make it harder for a couple to get divorced.

The hope is that as younger generations embrace arranged marriage, they adapt it to suit the times we live in, and stand up for their legal rights as well as happiness.

The truth is, many marriages do fail , and though no one desires a divorce, it’s much better than being stuck in an unhappy relationship.

7) The couple might not be a great match

It’s bad enough when you pick the wrong person to date and it ends terribly, but imagine marrying someone you didn’t even choose and finding out you have zero in common?

The truth is:

Sometimes the matchmakers and families simply get it wrong.

Naturally, they want the best for their children, but other influences can get in the way that stops them from realizing how incompatible the match will be.

And sometimes, even if everything looks perfect on paper, there’s just no spark .

And let’s face it, a marriage, whether love comes first or after, needs a connection. It needs intimacy, friendship, even attraction.

A close friend of mine had an arranged marriage – she knew the guy growing up, but only very casually. So when her parents introduced her to the idea of marrying him, she accepted.

Their families got along well, he was a nice guy, surely they could make it work, right?

A few years down the line and they were utterly miserable.

They just couldn’t get along, no matter how much support they got from family and friends. Neither did anything wrong to hurt each other, they just didn’t have that vibe.

This is just one example, and for every bad relationship, there are good ones to counteract.

But it would be unrealistic to imagine that parents will always find the right match for their children.

After all, your preferences for a partner might not necessarily reflect that of your parents!

8) It can encourage caste/social discrimination

This falls under what is called an “ endogamous marriage ”. Families will only consider suitors from their own religion/social standing/ethnicity and even caste (mainly in India).

For example, if you’re a Muslim, your family will only consider proposals from other Muslim families (and reject all else). Same for Hindus, Jews, Sikhs, and so on.

India has four main castes, and some conservative, traditional families wouldn’t entertain the idea of marrying their child to someone from another caste.

Caste discrimination is illegal but still happens frequently.

But times are changing, and people are realizing how the caste system harms more than helps in society.

Not only does this limit the pool of potential partners to be matched with, but it enforces negative stereotypes and this has wider implications throughout society.

9) It doesn’t cater to non-heterosexual marriages

Throughout my research on this topic, it occurred to me that no stories of arranged marriages included the LGBT+ community.

I dug a little deeper – some people had shared their experiences – but for the most part, it’s as if there simply isn’t the option to have an arranged marriage and be Gay or Lesbian.

This is because:

• In many religions where arranged marriage is practiced, homosexuality usually isn’t accepted or even recognized.
• Many cultures also follow the same stance, making it hard for people to come out, let alone ask to be matched with someone of the same sex.

Unfortunately, this can leave some people feeling lost – they might want to honor their culture by entrusting their marriage to their family, but they’re unable to fulfill that wish.

And whilst there are small steps forward for the LGBT+ community, in some countries, they face a barrage of discrimination and inequality, even so far as homosexuality being declared illegal .

Love knows no boundaries and doesn’t discriminate. As society moves forward, it’s a must that everyone is included and free to live life on their own terms, including in marriage.

10) There’s no room for individual choice

And one of the final disadvantages of arranged marriage is that the couple can end up feeling stripped of their right to make individual choices.

To keep a balanced view, let’s just remember that not all families will behave the same way.

In some cases, the couple will have a say in every step of the process. They may even be in the driving seat with parents just there along for the ride and to oversee things.

But unfortunately, for others, this won’t be the case. They may have the right to say yes or no to potential matches, but their opinions may be overlooked during the planning stages of the wedding.

Or, of the living arrangements after the wedding (as it’s common in some cultures for the newly-weds to remain living with the groom’s parents and family).

Family expectations can get in the way, aunties and uncles take over the wedding prep, and suddenly the couple finds themselves left on the sidelines of the biggest day of their lives.

You can see how that must be frustrating.

Even though an arranged marriage is based on rationality, not emotion, there’s no doubt that a torrent of nerves, excitement, and curiosity is going through the couple’s minds.

And, naturally, they want to plan the wedding and their future life following their own style.

Final thoughts

So there we have it – the pros and cons of arranged marriage. As you can see, there’s a lot to take in. Some parts of this tradition are well worth considering, but the risks are all too real as well.

Ultimately, it comes down to personal choice and what you feel comfortable with.

I know plenty of independent, strong-willed people who embraced the traditions of their culture with a modern-day approach. They had arranged marriages but on their terms, and it worked out a treat.

Others, like myself, have opted to search for love without the help of our families. I personally believe there’s beauty in both, so long as the freedom of choice is there at all times.

Kiran Athar

Kiran is a freelance writer with a degree in multimedia journalism. She enjoys exploring spirituality, psychology, and love in her writing. As she continues blazing ahead on her journey of self-discovery, she hopes to help her readers do the same. She thrives on building a sense of community and bridging the gaps between people. You can reach out to Kiran on Twitter: @KiranAthar1

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18 Arranged Marriages Advantages and Disadvantages

Arranged marriages were considered the standard way to organize a relationship for families until deep into the 18th century. These arrangements were usually created by a couple’s parents or grandparents to create a mutually beneficial coupling so that both families could maintain or improve their status in society. Unless there were specific exceptions permitted to avoid this tradition, many children knew before the age of 13 who it was that they were going to marry one day.

The United States was not immune to the process of creating arranged marriages. There were families creating these relationships well into the golden age of the 1950s, especially in the Japanese culture pockets found in the country. Some couples would only exchange pictures of one another until the day that they met, which will happen to be their wedding day.

We see a lot of individualism in today’s marriages because there is a higher standard of living typically available in the developed world. Some Orthodox families in the U.S. still practice this tradition today. For Fraidy Reiss and others like her living in Brooklyn, it would become a fight between her culture and the need to be safe since her husband was violent and abusive. She would eventually leave and never go back.

The advantages and disadvantages of arranged marriages typically involve what occurs to the extended family more than the actual couple. Some people believe that love can come from any relationship, while others feel like destiny is going to bring them a soulmate one day. The truth for each person typically lies somewhere between these two extremes.

List of the Advantages of Arranged Marriages

1. It allows a couple to form a relationship on more than just emotion. Arranged marriages can sometimes have a foundation of emotion, but it isn’t just love that is the emphasis when a couple comes together. The formation of this relationship becomes more like a business partnership then a personal one. That’s not to say romantic love is not a priority for the individuals taking advantage of the structure. What many couples do in this situation is placed a priority on the actual partnership, and that they make the rest of the relationship work afterward.

This design won’t work out in instances like Reiss’s marriage when domestic abuse or violence in the home takes place. When both parties make a commitment to support one another, arranged marriages tend to have more stability for everyone to enjoy.

2. You can still find someone that you love with an arranged marriage. The idea that you cannot find love because our relationship is being created on your behalf is a perspective that comes from individualism. Societies which have high levels of wealth no longer have a need for this structure because a person can be successful without having someone by their side thanks to modern economic circumstances. Many people fall in love and have long marriages even though their parents or grandparents arranged them. Even when the final relationship feels more like a good friendship instead of intimate love, most people can fall into a niche that allows them to have a happy and fulfilling life.

3. Arranged marriages can reduce the levels of conflict in the home. 55% of the marriages that happen each year around the world are arranged in some way. That figure can be as high as 90% in some countries like India. Although there are concerns about underage girls being forced to marry men much older, the global divorce rate from these relationships is about five times lower than it is for couples to have a priority on their individualism.

This level of stability makes it much easier for the children produced by such a relationship to find themselves and pursue their dreams. Most arranged marriages create similarities in spirituality, education priorities, discipline, and home structure. Because the parents have already agreed on the structures through the arrangements made by their families, the home life tends to be happier for everyone.

4. It maintains the traditions of a family’s culture, ethnicity, ethics, and identity. When you look back at the person you were just five years ago, how many things in your life have changed? The reality of the modern world is that a person can change on a daily basis because of the amount of information we can access through the Internet. The amount of data that you receive in your email inbox every day is equal to what someone in the 19th century would consume on a weekly basis. That is why staying in touch with our heritage is becoming such a priority for Millennials and future generations.

Our ideas of a perfect relationship can change just as quickly. When an arranged marriage is what forms the foundation of the union, the partnership qualities of this coupling make it easier for families to adjust to one another. This structure helps everyone to stay routed to who they are and what they become when they are together as a family unit.

5. You create harmony within the structure of multiple family units. Brittany Wong wrote a piece in 2016 entitled, “9 Ways to Deal with a Mother-in-Law Who Feels more Like a Monster-in-Law.” She starts the piece by saying this: “Meddling in-laws can wreak absolute havoc on an otherwise healthy relationship – even if they mean well.” Deferring to this outside interference from a perspective of individualism can place a significant amount of stress on the relationship.

Because both families are involved in the selection process of an arranged marriage, this issue is rarely present. Instead of each generation being seen as its own entity, the young couple, their parents, and any married siblings are seen together as a single family unit.

6. Arranged marriages create a sense of togetherness. Family estrangement occurs frequently from the perspective of individualism because each person is looking to carve out their own success in the world. It is a problem that can result from direct interactions between those were affected that can include traumatic experiences, or it can be due to logistics like living far away and not having enough money to call home. Arranged marriages work hard to create a sense of togetherness because there is more than just love on the line if it fails. This business partnership is a reflection of both families. Everyone stays invested throughout the entire process when the approach is correct since there is so much on the line.

These families cannot afford to see a rift form that could last for years – if not generations. By keeping the parents involved (or the grandparents) with each step of the marriage, this structure can work to foster high levels of community success.

7. You eliminate the stress and expense of finding a life partner by yourself. The number of tools which are available today to help you find a life partner are almost countless. From dating websites to connection apps to the traditional methods of meeting someone at a bar, church, or a school function, there are plenty of ways to let destiny help you find your soulmate. The amount of stress that occurs during this process, especially if you need to break up with someone, can be enormous. Arranged marriages help to take this problem away entirely.

Families often work with one another when they come from a similar financial and social background. There is a desire to maintain the family culture and embrace the traditions of their ethnicity while still providing some freedoms for the couple to explore who they can become once the union is created. Because there is certainty with most of these arrangements, couples have more time to get to know each other while pursuing interests that are personally important without the stress of wondering who might really be the right one for them.

List of the Disadvantages of Arranged Marriages

1. Arranged marriages create relationships that often lack trust. Some arranged marriages occur while the children are still in primary school, allowing them to discover a friendship as they grow up. Although some of these relationships are formed legally way too early, many cultures are shifting their traditions to allow for their children to get married once they become an adult. Times have changed, so the need to have children immediately is no longer present in many societies.

That set of circumstances is the perfect scenario. The reality of arranged marriages is that they tend to happen quickly, and without any input from at least the woman involved in the future relationship. When there is only a handful of days or a few weeks to get to know someone, then there is a pervasive lack of trust that exists in the marriage for an indefinite period.

2. It allows men to maintain control over the women in that society. The societies and cultures who still support arranged marriages typically take what we would consider to be a conservative or traditional view on family structures. Men are usually responsible for bringing home an income, while women are expected to maintain the home and raise the children according to the traditions and values that their father wants. This structure makes it challenging for a woman to leave if her husband is abusive because she has no support system. Unless her family is willing to step in to help, men typically receive more control in this partnership structure than women do.

3. There is an increased risk of mental health issues for people in an arranged marriage. Although there is a lower divorce rate and more stability found in the average arranged marriage compared to couples who “found” each other, these benefits come with extensive disadvantages. Many people find themselves trying to make a relationship work when they feel no attraction to the other person. There are circumstances where an individual might decide to stay quiet instead of speaking their mind because they want to protect themselves or their children.

When a person feels trapped in a relationship, whether it is arranged or not, then the amount of stress that they encounter every day is damaging to their health. Unless there are coping skills available, this disadvantage can increase the risk of depression and other mental health issues.

4. Arranged marriages can force someone to live with an individual they don’t know. Some arranged marriages encourage the couple to get to know each other in the days and weeks that lead up to the wedding. Then there are the cultures which do not permit any interaction until that special day. When a relationship falls into the latter category, then you are marrying someone that you don’t really know. Even in the best-case scenario, you have an idea of their physical appearance, but you have no way to judge how that person will be when there’s no one around but you to watch them.

From the perspective of an individualistic society, people want to find someone who will be the best friend. That is what the definition of a soulmate typically is without the structure of an arranged marriage. The alternative is that you are marrying a stranger who could become your best friend… Or they could become your worst enemy.

5. It makes love a secondary reason to get married. There are countless arranged marriages throughout history which have found success because the couple was able to discover a love for one another. It is ignorant to suggest that there is no emotion present in this situation. This disadvantage applies because love isn’t the top priority. Marriages are arranged for a purpose that benefits everyone else in the family instead of the couple.

If you find yourself in the situation, then your parents and grandparents care less about the idea of falling in love than they do about what the outcome will be with a successful marriage. When the families are getting along well and the relationship is mutually beneficial, then love becomes a third tier of importance. If one person falls in love and the other does not, then there can be an exceptional amount of misery in this relationship.

6. There are lower levels of personal accountability in an arranged marriage. When a couple gets married through the perspective of individualism, that each party is personally responsible for the success or failure of the arrangement. You choose to make things work with that person every day because there is no safety net. In an arranged marriage, there is a lack of accountability because the relationship is based on the family contract instead of a mutual love and respect for one another.

Neither party in an arranged marriage is responsible to the other. If the marriage doesn’t work out for some reason, then the couple can blame whomever created it in the first place. That is why you will often see large family groups together when this structure is the primary way to form relationships in a culture or society. When the blame rolls downhill, the families do their best to limit whatever damage could occur.

7. Arranged marriages can create feelings of alienation. During the final phases of an arranged marriage, it is not unusual for everyone in the family to want to leave a mark on the new relationship. For the couple who gets placed together, it can feel like this whirlwind is about everyone else except for them. Some families may not allow the bride or groom to have any say in what happens during the ceremony, the honeymoon, or even the initial days of the marriage. In this situation, the only job that each person has for the marriage is to show up to share their vows. It is a process that can make you feel like you’re going along on a ride that is out of control.

8. It takes away the process of courtship. This disadvantage does not always apply because some couples know well in advance that their families want them to get married. When there is enough notice for a bride and groom to get together before the wedding, then the process of courtship can occur. It is still not the same as what you would experience through the lens of individualism where every step of the process is under the control of the couple.

You don’t get to experience the ups and downs of love. There is no realization about the importance of an emotional connection or trying to get to know someone because that’s what you want to do. There are no opportunities to explore different personalities, preferences, or looks. You just need to do what you’re told to do with this form of a relationship.

9. This process limits personal choices. Arranged marriages often limit the choices that a couple has one selecting a life partner. The only way to change your life circumstances is to locate a family who is willing to let you “marry up.” Sometimes families even use the structure as a way to limit the outside influences of “undesired” genetics, cultures, or stereotypes from entering into their family structure. Imagine Christian parents creating a marriage to prevent their son from marrying someone who practices Islam or Sikh parents choosing a partner because they fear that societal discrimination won’t permit individualism and you’ve got an idea of how severe this disadvantage can be.

10. Arranged marriages place the burden on the woman in the relationship. Families in the developing world rarely have enough money to set aside anything for savings. The meager amount that they bring in from whatever employment they can find goes directly to the food that they need for survival. All of the sons in these traditional structures will often work because that means there is an additional income source for the family. When a daughter is born instead, then she becomes another mouth to feed – just like her mother. Because women are not given the same priority for education or employment, there are few ways to help everyone lift themselves out of poverty.

The only way to do so in many circumstances is to arrange a marriage so that the family can receive a stipend for the relationship. It becomes a transaction that is akin to sexual slavery or exploitation since intimacy is expected. When children are traded in such a way, the harm that they encounter can be indescribable.

11. It can increase the rates of child marriage in some countries. Children who are forced to get married under the age of 12 are unprepared for the choices that lie ahead for them. This practice is outlawed through much of the world, but poverty and desperation can cause it to be actively permitted in many global cultures. For many families, the arrangement of a child marriage is a choice between having food on the table for everyone or not having enough to stave off hunger. There are no good choices here. That is why it is up to the developed world to reach out to these communities, provide solutions, and offer a path out of poverty.

Conclusion of the Advantages and Disadvantages of Arranged Marriages

Arranged marriages are seen as being beneficial or not based on the lens of society. People who come from a culture that emphasizes individualism will see this relationship structure in a very different light when compared to those who do not experience this freedom. With more than half of today’s marriages using this structure to expand the family, it is an issue that is not going to go away anytime soon.

The advantages and disadvantages of arranged marriages show us that it is up to each family, and each individual, to decide what they want to have in life. Forced marriages may technically fall into an arranged category for some statistics, but anything that falls into the categories of exploitation, violence, or other forms of harm must be stopped. If the relationship is consensual, then who are we to judge how someone decides to find their definition of happiness?

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18 arranged marriages advantages and disadvantages

Opening Paragraph:

An arranged marriage is a union where families or individuals select a life partner for someone based on compatibility, background, and other factors. This article delves into the advantages and disadvantages of arranged marriages, exploring both sides of this unique institution.

Maintains Cultural Traditions

Arranged marriages often help preserve cultural customs and traditions, ensuring that families maintain their heritage throughout generations.

Example: In many cultures, arranged marriages allow for union within the same religious or caste group.

Lower Divorce Rates

Studies have suggested that arranged marriages tend to have lower divorce rates compared to love marriages. This may be attributed to the families’ involvement and commitment to support the relationship.

Example: The strong family network and communal ties often encourage couples to work through difficulties instead of opting for divorce.

Strong Family Support

Arranged marriages often come with a built-in support system provided by both families. This support can be beneficial in times of hardships or challenges within the marriage.

Example: Families can help mediate disputes, provide guidance, and offer emotional and financial assistance when needed.

Involvement of Elders

The involvement of experienced elders in arranged marriages can contribute to wise decision-making and potentially minimize impulsive choices that young individuals may make in love marriages.

Example: Elders often consider long-term compatibility, financial stability, and social standing when arranging marriages.

Financial Stability

In arranged marriages, financial considerations play a significant role. This can provide both partners with a more stable lifestyle and greater financial security.

Example: Families may ensure that both partners have a stable profession, adequate dowry, or financial arrangements, providing a solid foundation for the marriage.

Shared Values and Beliefs

Arranged marriages often bring together individuals with shared values, beliefs, and cultural backgrounds, fostering a sense of unity and understanding within the relationship.

Example: Couples from the same cultural or religious background are likely to have similar perspectives on important issues such as family, faith, and traditions.

Reduced Dating Pressure

With arranged marriages, individuals are not burdened with the pressure of finding a suitable partner through dating and courtship. This can alleviate stress and anxiety associated with the modern dating scene.

Example: Individuals can focus on personal growth, education, and career without the constant pressure of finding a life partner.

Long-lasting Commitment

Arranged marriages are often rooted in a strong commitment to maintain the relationship despite challenges and obstacles, leading to long-lasting marriages.

Example: Couples may prioritize their commitment to the union over individual desires or temporary difficulties they may face.

Built-in Social Support

With arranged marriages, couples have immediate access to a network of relatives and in-laws, providing a built-in social support system that can be beneficial during tough times.

Example: Celebrations, financial aid, and emotional assistance are readily available within the extended family network.

Supportive Extended Family

Arranged marriages often bring two families together, resulting in a supportive extended family that can provide guidance, care, and companionship throughout the marriage.

Example: Close ties between families enhance harmony in the relationship and create a sense of belonging wider than just the couple.

Financial and Practical Arrangements

In many arranged marriages, families make financial and practical arrangements, such as property settlements and dowry, which can contribute to a more secure future for the couple.

Example: These arrangements may include homes, land, or other assets, providing the couple with a solid foundation for their new life together.

Shared Responsibilities

In arranged marriages, there is often a shared understanding of roles and responsibilities between the couple. This can create a sense of teamwork and mutual understanding within the relationship.

Example: Traditional gender roles may be defined, with each partner understanding their respective duties and obligations.

Marriage Stability

Arranged marriages have a reputation for long-term stability due to the initial focus on compatibility, shared values, and family involvement in the selection process.

Example: Couples enter the marriage with the intention of making it work, which contributes to the overall stability of the relationship.

Greater Understanding of Roles and Expectations

Arranged marriages often come with clearly defined roles and expectations, reducing ambiguity and potential conflicts within the couple’s relationship.

Example: Parties involved have a shared understanding of the responsibilities, obligations, and societal expectations associated with the marriage.

Reduced Dating and Courtship Expenses

Arranged marriages eliminate the need for costly dating, courting, and extravagant wedding preparations, allowing families to focus their financial resources elsewhere.

Example: Families can save money that would have been spent on dating activities, gifts, or wedding-related expenses.

Promotes Family Harmony

Arranged marriages are often seen as a way to promote family unity and harmony. The union of two families through marriage can foster closer relationships and create a sense of togetherness.

Example: The families may come together for regular gatherings, celebrations, and support each other in various aspects of life.

Stronger Social Connections

Arranged marriages provide an opportunity to strengthen social connections between families, leading to a broader support network and a sense of belonging within the community.

Example: The couple becomes part of each other’s social circles, expanding their connections and deepening their relationships.

Preserved Cultural Identity

Through arranged marriages, families can ensure the preservation of their cultural identity, traditions, and customs across generations.

Example: Marrying within the same cultural background helps maintain language, religious practices, cultural rituals, and shared celebrations.

Benefits for Children’s Upbringing

Arranged marriages are often considered with the future generation in mind. These unions can provide a stable and nurturing environment for the upbringing of children.

Example: Children benefit from the strong family bonds, cultural values, and a support system that comes with arranged marriages.

Benefits of Knowing the 18 Arranged Marriages Advantages and Disadvantages:

Understanding the advantages and disadvantages of arranged marriages allows individuals to make informed decisions about their own lives and relationships. It helps shed light on the potential challenges and benefits one may encounter in such a union. By being aware of these factors, individuals can assess their compatibility, personal preferences, and cultural comfort before considering an arranged marriage.

Closing Paragraph:

Arranged marriages have been practiced for centuries, and while they have their advantages, they are not without their challenges. This article has explored the 18 arranged marriages advantages and disadvantages, providing a comprehensive overview of this unique institution. Ultimately, whether one chooses an arranged marriage or not depends on personal beliefs, cultural values, and individual circumstances, as there is no one-size-fits-all approach to finding a life partner.

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Arranged marriage

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• Extended family
• Appreciation
• Importance of family
• Understanding
• Interpersonal Relationship
• Family Tradition

Arranged Marriage: Advantages & Disadvantages

The article discusses the pros and cons of arranged marriages, which may come as a surprise to those who come from countries where falling in love is the path to marriage. One of the advantages of arranged marriages is finding a partner who is compatible ethnically, religiously, socially, and culturally. Arranged marriages tend to have a lower divorce rate than marriages based on romantic love, due to the close-knit cultural community and efforts to pair up couples with similar social standing and financial status. However, there are also significant negatives, such as the possibility of ending up with an unsuitable partner and cultural or religious pressure to stay in the marriage. Some cultures also use arranged marriages as a means to suppress women and child abuse. Despite these factors, most people prefer to experience the joys and potential heartaches of romantic love, indicating that arranged marriages will not be widely practiced in Western cultures.

Arranged marriages are prevalent in certain countries and cultures, encompassing both benefits and drawbacks. Although it may be unexpected for individuals living in societies where love forms the basis of marriage, they should acknowledge the advantages and disadvantages of arranged unions.

Arranged marriages are common in certain immigrant communities in Western countries. They serve as a means for individuals to discover a suitable partner who possesses their ethnic, religious, social, and cultural background. This is especially significant in communities that discourage assimilation, such as Greek expatriates or Orthodox Jews. Arranged marriages play a crucial role in maintaining the integrity of their faith and culture.

Despite potential drawbacks, arranged marriages often have a lower divorce rate compared to marriages based on romantic love. This can be attributed to factors such as cultural compatibility and the close-knit nature of arranged marriage cultures, which offer greater support to individuals and families in contrast to Western society.

Arranged marriages involve carefully matching couples based on their social standing and financial status, resulting in fewer arguments compared to couples who choose each other romantically. This also allows love to develop over time through shared challenges. However, it is crucial to recognize that arranged marriages have both positive and negative aspects.

Arranged marriages may lead to being trapped in an inappropriate relationship, with cultural or religious factors making it difficult to escape. The film A Price Above Rubies effectively showcases these obstacles by depicting arranged marriage within an Orthodox Jewish community. Some societies utilize arranged marriages as a means of suppressing women, compelling them to marry at a young age and preventing their independent development.

In certain cultures, like the polygamist sects in Western United States, arranged marriages have turned into a type of child abuse. It is important to consider this aspect when assessing the pros and cons of arranged marriages. The main disadvantage often mentioned is that modern individuals wish to experience the pleasures and potential pains of romantic love. Therefore, it seems improbable that arranged marriages will gain widespread acceptance in Western culture.

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Arranged Marriage: Weighing the Pros and Cons in a Modern World

Arranged marriage pros and cons.

The concept of arranged marriage has existed for centuries, serving as a cultural cornerstone in numerous societies across the globe. While the practice continues to evolve, it remains a topic of fervent debate, captivating hearts and minds with its blend of tradition, societal expectations, and the ever-present desire for love and fulfillment.

Pros: A Tapestry of Potential Benefits

Family Guidance and Shared Values: Arranged marriages often involve meticulous matchmaking by families, prioritizing compatibility based on shared cultural backgrounds, religious beliefs, and family values. This emphasis on alignment can provide a strong foundation for building a lasting union, rooted in a sense of familiarity and shared understanding.

Financial Stability and Practical Considerations: Traditional arranged marriages often prioritize compatibility from a practical standpoint, considering factors like financial stability, social standing, and career prospects. This focus on long-term security can provide a sense of stability and comfort for couples, particularly in cultures where financial independence is highly valued.

Lower Divorce Rates: Statistics often indicate that arranged marriages have lower divorce rates compared to marriages based solely on romantic love. While this correlation is complex and influenced by various factors, it can suggest that the emphasis on compatibility and familial support embedded in arranged marriages might contribute to greater long-term stability.

Personal Growth and Self-Discovery: Stepping outside the comfort zone of familiar dating patterns, arranged marriages can prompt individuals to develop new perspectives and communication skills. Navigating the unfamiliar territory of building a relationship with a chosen partner can foster personal growth and self-discovery, leading to a deeper understanding of oneself and one’s capacity for love.

Cons: Navigating the Shadow Side

Gender Inequality and Power Dynamics: In some cultural contexts, arranged marriages can perpetuate existing gender inequalities, with women having less say in the partner selection process. This power imbalance can lead to dissatisfaction and hinder the development of an equitable partnership.

Beyond the Binary: A Spectrum of Experiences

It’s crucial to remember that arranged marriages are not a monolithic entity. The lived experiences of individuals within this practice vary greatly depending on cultural nuances, individual personalities, and the specific dynamics within each family and community. Some arranged marriages blossom into beautiful unions filled with love, respect, and mutual understanding, while others face inevitable struggles and may ultimately dissolve.

The Modern Landscape: Choice and Agency in Arranged Marriages

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to enter an arranged marriage is a deeply personal one. It requires careful consideration of individual values, cultural context, and personal aspirations. Weighing the potential benefits and challenges with introspection and honesty is crucial for navigating this complex landscape and making an informed decision that aligns with one’s own vision for happiness and fulfillment.

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Arranged marriage: advantage and disadvantage.

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Arranged marriage is a type of marriage which is arranged by parents or some elderly members of the family. It is more in the nature of a marriage between the families and not individuals. The entire process of marriage is decided by the parents and the elders of the family. Usually in Hindu custom, the proposal for marriage comes from the girls’ side where as in the case of Christian and Muslim society it comes from the boys’ side.

It is up to the boy’s parents whether to accept or reject the proposal. Usually the proposal comes through a middle man or sometimes it may be negotiated directly. The boy’s parents and relatives come to see the girls, consider their family background and make an overall assessment. Sometimes the boys and the girls are not allowed to see each other and if the parents select the girl, they plan for an arranged marriage but now this practice is considered to be out dated. It has become quite indispensible to take the consent of both the bride and the bride groom in order to settle an arranged marriage.

This will no doubt ensure a better conjugal life. They are also allowed to see each others before marriage. Parents also consider their views and decision is taken accordingly. The date for engagement is fixed with everybody consent. The engagement may take place either in temple or at the girls’ residence or in any place suitable to both the parties.

Dowry and other demand are finally decided on the day of engagement. They exchange gifts like dress, gold ornaments and sweets as a token of love and friendship between the two families. A strong filial bond is established between two families. Arranged marriage has its own advantages and disadvantages.

Advantages:

(1) Arranged marriage is generally accepted in our society as it lends creditability and social recognition for a secured conjugal life. The entire responsibility of the marriage is undertaken by both the parents.

(2) In Laws adjustment is better in case of an arranged marriage.

(3) There is better inter-family relationship and it provides an opportunity for get together of relations.

(4) The family, relations and friends accept the marriage. They feel themselves responsible for any mistake during or immediately after marriage.

(5) In case of arranged marriage, the children are well looked after by the in-laws. They are taken proper care of and receive a lot love and affection from their grandparents even when their parents are away.

(6) In case of accidents or calamities, both the families share the burden to lessen the misfortune and make it easier for the couple to bear it. Arranged marriage ensures family support in all circumstances.

(7) In arranged marriage, it is easier to get financial assistance from parents at the time of need.

(8) It leads to good relationship among the parents and relations. The future prospect of the children is bright as they receive a lot of love and guidance from experienced hands.

Disadvantages:

(1) There is excessive expenditure and financial burden on the parents because they spend a lot to keep up their prestige.

(2) Dowry systems at times may lead to misunderstanding which may give rise to bitter consequences such as torture and bride burning in case of arranged marriage.

(3) It is difficult to adjust between the couple as they are not sufficiently aware of each other’s attitude and temperament.

(4) Sometimes due to high demand and dowry pressure, girls may not get married.

(5) It may create conflict between the families and the partners.

(6) Last but not the least if the marital relations of the young couple becomes unsuccessful, the parents may be blamed. Marriage continues to be a sacrament, if the partners have good understanding and compatibility to adjust to each other.

Related Articles:

• Free Choice Marriage: Advantages and Disadvantages
• Top 8 Traditional forms of Hindu Marriage

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             Marriage; a legal union of man and wife. In this day and age there are two different ideas of marriage. The first being a marriage based on love, and the second; a marriage arranged by a third party (usually the parents). Although an arranged marriage differs from a marriage based on love in the after marriage life and husband-wife relationship, the principal differences lie in mate selection and social implications.              The arranged marriage is a contract between families, but not between individuals. Before the talks of marriage between the parents occur, each side's parents investigate the others family background. They want to ascertain that the girl's family is of the same class, is of comparable financial situation, is of good reputation, and has no hereditary diseases. If the parents are satisfied, a family friend acts as a liaison between the families and reveals the interest of one family's child to the other. This go-between absorbs any criticism from the family, and also absorbs the praise, and gives the information back to the proposing family. Then the parents of both families begin to communicate and a meeting is set up for the prospective bride and groom to actually meet. This meeting is where the decisions are in effect made; a certain feeling of compatibility must be felt by both families in order for a marriage to proceed. In cultures where arranged marriages are commonplace, the role of the female is a subordinate to the male. An aspect of compatibility requires the willingness of the girl to conform to the man's family pattern of living. She is a stranger in the family's household and shall adopt the ideals, serve and conform to expectations. If the parents like each other and if the man and girl are attracted to one another or at least if the man likes the girl, the parents will finalize the dates for engagement and for marriage.              A love-based marriage is arranged by the individuals involved and only th...

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