personal statement example oxford

How to write a personal statement

How to approach writing your personal statement for graduate applications.

If you’re applying for a grad course that requires a personal statement (sometimes also called a ‘statement of purpose’), it can be difficult to know where to start and what to include. Read on for tips from some of our masters’ students about their process and what they found helpful.

1. Before you start

The academic work is the most important reason why we’re here, but that also translates into work experiences, internships, volunteering. I think a big part of the personal statement is crafting that narrative of academic self that fits alongside your professional experiences, to give that greater picture of who you are as an academic. Lauren (MSc Modern Middle Eastern Studies)

Start by thinking about the skills, knowledge and interests you’ve acquired over time and how the course at Oxford will take them forward.

Your statement is the story you want to tell about yourself and your academic work to the department you are applying to.

Most of your application and its supporting documents communicate plain facts about your academic career so far. Your personal statement is your best opportunity to put these facts into context and show assessors how you’ve progressed and excelled.

Make sure you highlight evidence of your achievements (a high grade in a relevant area, an award or scholarship, a research internship).

Presenting yourself

When I was writing my personal statement, I went onto my course website. I looked at what they emphasised and what kind of students they were looking for, and I wrote about my experiences based on that. Kayla (MSc in Clinical Embryology)

Make it easy for an assessor to see how you meet the entry requirements for the course (you can find these on each course page ).

Don’t make any assumptions about what Oxford is looking for!

Get to know your department

You want to study this particular subject and you want to study at Oxford (you’re applying here, so we know that!) but why is Oxford the right place for you to study this subject? What interests or qualities of the academic department and its staff make it attractive to you?

Use your academic department’s website for an overview of their research, academic staff and course information (you'll find a link to the department's own website on each course page ).

I said, ‘why do I actually want to be here? What is it about being at Oxford that’s going to get me to what I want to do? Sarah (Bachelor of Civil Law)

Talk it out

Talking to others about your statement can be a great way to gather your ideas and decide how you’d like to approach it. Sarah even managed to get benefit out of this approach by herself:

“I spent a lot of time talking out loud. My written process was actually very vocal, so I did a lot of talking about myself in my room.”

2. The writing process

Know your format.

Make sure you’ve read all the guidance on the How to Apply section of your course page , so you know what’s needed in terms of the word count of the final statement, what it should cover and what it will be assessed for. This should help you to visualise roughly what you want to end up with at the end of the process.

Make a start

When it comes to writing your personal statement, just getting started can be the hardest part.

One good way to get around writer’s block is to just put it all down on the page, like Mayur.

First - write down anything and everything. In the first round, I was just dumping everything - whatever I’ve done, anything close to computer science, that was on my personal statement. Mayur (MSc Computer Science)

You’ll be editing later anyway so don’t let the blank page intimidate you - try writing a little under each of the following headings to get started:

• areas of the course at Oxford that are the most interesting to you
• which areas you’ve already studied or had some experience in
• what you hope to use your Oxford course experience for afterwards.

3. Finishing up

Get some feedback.

Once you’ve got a draft of about the right length, ask for feedback on what you’ve written. It might take several drafts to get it right.

This could involve getting in touch with some of your undergraduate professors to ask them to read your draft and find any areas which needed strengthening.

You could also show it to people who know you well, like family or friends.

Because they’re the first people to say, ‘Who is that person?’ You want the people around you to recognise that it really sounds like you. It can be scary telling family and friends you’re applying for Oxford, because it makes it real, but be brave enough to share it and get feedback on it. Sarah (Bachelor of Law)

Be yourself

Finally - be genuine and be yourself. Make sure your personal statement represents you, not your idea about what Oxford might be looking for.

We have thousands of students arriving every year from a huge range of subjects, backgrounds, institutions and countries (you can hear from a few more of them in our My Oxford interviews).

Get moving on your application today

To find out more about supporting documents and everything else you need to apply, read your course page and visit our Application Guide .

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This content was previously available through our  Applicant advice hub . The hub contained links to articles hosted on our  Graduate Study at Oxford Medium channel . We've moved the articles that support the application process into this new section of our website.

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Personal Statements for Further Study

A personal statement is your chance to explain your motivation for applying and why you are a great candidate for the course..

Guidelines given vary from the simple “Provide evidence in support of your application” to the more common “Tell us why you are interested in the course to which you have applied. Describe your academic interests and reasons for applying to XXX”. For some courses there may be a much more prescriptive and structured approach, requiring you to write a series of shorter responses to specific questions relating to your motivation, experience and suitability for the course. You may also come across some institutions that ask you to reflect on how you might add to the diversity of a cohort should your application be successful.  

If you are applying to more than one university, each statement will need a different emphasis – do not use the same statement for all applications.  

In your statement, you should demonstrate:

• Motivation, enthusiasm, and a clear understanding of why you are making the application to this particular course, and to this particular institution.
• How your academic background and other experiences have shaped your decision to apply and how the course contributes to your plans for the future.
• Evidence that you have the ability, experience, skills and motivation to successfully contribute to the course, and to complete it.

Structure and Content

The opening paragraph sets the framework for the rest of the statement, think of it as your ‘trailer’. This is where you can grab the reader’s attention or lose it… You might start with a powerful anecdote, a brief narrative of your initial inspiration, or a thought-provoking statement linked to your academic interests.

Within the main body of the essay you should aim to cover:

Why you want to study this topic or field

Is it a natural extension of your current interests? How did you become interested in this area? Why does it continue to fascinate you? What have you done within your degree or outside of your study to fuel this interest? Would the course provide a step towards a longer-term goal?

Why you have chosen this specific course and institution

Are there particular options or modules that interest you? Is there particular expertise in that department? Has access to specific resources such as museum collections, libraries or laboratory equipment been a factor? Has the reputation (through recommendations or other means) of the course inspired you? Are you attracted by opportunities for collaboration or work placements? Have you attended any Open Days or other visits?

How your experience equips you for the course

Consider the subjects you studied at undergraduate level; your relevant skills (technical, language, computing, research methods); independent study or research; prior (relevant) experience; academic awards and other achievements. The focus here is likely to be on your academic suitability for the course, but if you have relevant work experience or extra-curricular activities that provide further evidence of your interest or ability then include them too. Your non-academic achievements might also provide evidence of project management, resilience, effective communication and so on.

Where the course might lead you

You don’t need to have a detailed career plan, but you do need to show how this course fits in with your general aspirations. Are you intending to continue on to a PhD? Do you have a broad interest in contributing to a particular issue or field, e.g. social enterprise, public policy, human rights, sustainability? Or do you have a more specific goal in mind? How will your chosen course help you to achieve your goals?

Closing paragraph

Use your closing paragraph to summarise your application, return to any themes you introduced at the beginning, and to restate your enthusiasm for the course.

Practical Advice

• Writing effective personal statements takes time. Expect to go through several drafts and ask tutors, peers, careers advisers and others to review your statement before you submit it.
• Good English, grammar and spelling are essential. Avoid jargon and make sure it can be understood by non-experts. 
• Keep the tone positive, fresh and lively in order to convey enthusiasm and make yourself stand out, but remember that this is a document introducing you in a professional capacity.
• It’s a good idea to mention relevant individuals whose work has truly inspired you, but avoid name-dropping for the sake of it, and excessive and evidence-free flattery of the institution or the course.
• If you refer to any papers or books then reference these correctly in a bibliography at the end of the statement.
• Pay attention to any word limits. If none are stated then aim for no more than two sides of A4 or 1000-1500 words.
• It is usually possible to apply for multiple courses at a single institution. Many (including Oxford) will require you to complete a separate application form for each course that you wish to apply for.

Research Proposals

For many PhD and some research Masters applications the personal statement is often accompanied by a research proposal – a document that sets out your research interests and proposed area of study. The detail required in this section varies hugely for different disciplines. For some science subjects it may simply be a list, in order of preference, of the named PhD projects you wish to be considered for. However, for most areas – and especially in the arts, humanities and social sciences – you will need to devote a considerable amount of time to developing your ideas, discussing them with potential supervisors and writing a proposal. Your academic tutors should be able to give you some guidance on writing research proposals, and there is some useful advice from  Vitae  and from  Find a PhD .

Admission Essays for US Graduate Schools

The information in this handout applies also to applications to American universities. However, there are subtle differences in the style and approach to essays aimed at the US context. A statement written for the US is likely to feel more personal; think of it as your academic biography – setting out your inspiration for the academic path you have followed in the past, the present and into the future. The Careers Service runs a workshop on US applications early each Michaelmas Term. The Fulbright Educational Advisory Service  also publishes guidelines on completing US applications. US university career services often provide useful advice on writing graduate school admissions essays. See for example: MIT graduate school essay advice , UC Berkeley advice on writing graduate admissions statements , UNC application essay advice and Yale advice on writing personal statements for graduate school.

Teacher Training Applications

The personal statement for postgraduate teacher training is the key part of your application. The question is quite prescriptive, and your focus should be on your motivation for becoming a teacher: particularly how your teaching and other experiences have contributed. Ideally you should also set out how these have helped you to understand the role, and the sort of teacher you aspire to be. The Careers Service runs a workshop on careers in teaching each Michaelmas Term, which includes advice about the application process. For more information, see the Careers Service information on Teaching in Schools .

Graduate Entry Medicine

Applications to graduate entry medicine courses are submitted via UCAS and include a personal statement. Much of the advice in this document also applies to medicine applications, but you are likely to need to place considerable emphasis on the relevant work experience you have gained prior to your application.

See Careers Service's information on Medicine as a Second Degree  for further information.

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• Aug 12, 2018

How to write an Oxford personal statement

Make sure your personal statement conveys your interest in the subject – write down talks you’ve been to (and what they made you think), open days you’ve attended (and what you took away from them), and maybe even books you’ve read (and whether or not you agree with the author and why). Are you seeing a common thread? It’s less about what you’ve done and more about what you make of it! It’s best to only mention one book or one talk, but really go in to some critical analysis, rather than to just write a list of seven without any additional commentary.

Any extra-curricular activities should be ‘super-curricular’, i.e. related to your degree: for Maths, maybe the Maths Olympiad, for Science, maybe a Science EPQ or that time you entered a Lego competition (totally relevant to Engineering!). For Law, I talked about teaching and debating, and the self-discipline involved in teaching myself a language as an A Level. You can honestly make anything work – try to make yourself stand out a little by having something people don’t normally have! But don’t worry about not having twenty different hobbies – you don’t have space to mention more than one or two, and you won’t really be asked about your personal life at interview.

What I would reiterate, above all, is to not stress over the personal statement. If you’ve spelt everything correctly and you’ve got all your proof that you’re genuinely and voluntarily interested in your subject outside of school then you’re doing it right! And, to the year 12s going in to year 13 – for the love of all that’s holy, take a few weeks off this summer. Breathe. Let yourself detach from the intimidating university admissions process and the pressure of A Levels for a bit, because that will let you be so much more engaged when you jump back in.

#Oxford #OxfordUniversity #PersonalStatement #UCAS #College #Oxbridgeapplication #OxfordPersonalstatement

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Medicine: Writing your Personal Statement

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Your personal statement is an important part of your application to Oxford. It allows you to tell us about your interests, achievements and ambitions in your own words. Although we do not formally score your statement we read it carefully. If you are invited for interview, the statement is likely to provide a focus for the questions that you are asked. It is therefore essential that your statement is an accurate, unembellished account of your activities. We may check the claims that you make on your statement: discovery of fabricated or exaggerated material – during the admissions exercise, or even later on during your time as a student – may bring into question your suitability to practise Medicine. 

Present yourself in the best light:  the same basic facts about yourself (in terms of education, interests, experience), when presented differently, can quite dramatically convey positive or negative messages about you to tutors.

For A100 Medicine at Oxford, UCAT and (if taken) GCSEs are predominantly used initially to determine whether or not you are short-listed for interview. The information that you provide in your personal statement becomes increasingly important if you are not short-listed on the basis of UCAT score and (if taken) your GCSEs. Of course, every detail becomes important once you have reached the interviews and are being considered for a place.

1. Please do not be shy in declaring any mitigating circumstances

These may help us to put your achievements or personality within a finer context. We actively look for reasons why you may have under-performed in examinations, or performed well against the odds. These may be factors associated with your schooling, health or domestic circumstances. If you are returning to study after a break, or switching vocation, it is even more important to highlight your reasons for choosing to study Medicine, and for you to demonstrate your determination, resilience, ability and commitment. 

2. Do not simply recount everything you have ever undertaken

We’re looking for quality, not quantity! Remember that large numbers of applicants apply for our courses. Tell us in what ways you will stand out from the crowd. In choosing to talk about an activity, describe what you have drawn from the experience: has it changed you as a person? Did it surprise you?

3. We want to learn about you as a person, not just about your academic qualifications

If you have undertaken extra-curricular activities, or hold positions of responsibility at school, tell us why you sought these, and why they are important to you. You will not impress us by simply recounting that you took up a placement in Thailand, but we might be more appreciative if you tell us what you personally learnt from the experience, about your interaction with local people, and about shadowing the medical team working within your village. 

Example: I have become involved with a city music and drama group, and work especially with the younger members. I find this exciting and more than occasionally challenging. Coaching for the group has given me experience in organising others, as well as teaching them. Watching group members learn and progress is thrilling, especially in the case of one of them who has ADHD. At first he was incapable of remaining still, silent or attentive for even a few minutes, but eventually became far more focused and calmer, making excellent progress in many areas.

4. Directly address our selection criteria in your statement

Here are our selection criteria and some examples:

Personal characteristics: suitability for medicine

• Empathy: ability and willingness to imagine the feelings of others and understand the reasons for the views of others

Example: My volunteering in the local community and my studies in Religion and Classical Civilization have also increased my ability to understand varying cultural, ethical and social perspectives, and allowed me to look at issues in a wider context.

• Motivation: a reasonably well-informed and strong desire to practise medicine

Example: My interest in the human body burgeoned while I was taking the Essentials of First Aid class organised by St John Ambulance. The two consecutive years of volunteer service in X Hospital that followed reinforced my passion for the subject.

• Communication: ability to make knowledge and ideas clear using language appropriate to the audience
• Honesty and Integrity
• Ethical awareness
• Ability to work with others

Example: I have had a weekend job at X since 2016, which has further allowed me to develop teamwork skills, taught me how to work towards personal targets when under pressure, and allowed me to interact with many different members of the public.

Example: Dancing has taught me valuable people skills; you learn to work intimately with fellow dancers and trust them completely.

• Capacity for sustained and intense work

Academic Potential

• Problem-solving: critical thinking, analytical approach
• Intellectual curiosity: keenness to understand the reason for observations; depth; tendency to look for meaning; enthusiasm and curiosity in science
• Communication skills: willingness and ability to express clearly and effectively; ability to listen; compatibility with tutorial format

Example: Studying History at A-level has helped develop my writing and critical analysis skills.

Example: At school I have taken part in a French exchange programme which greatly improved my language skills, independence and confidence.

5. You will not be alone in trying to open your statement with an attention grabbing intro

If you try this, make sure it helps tutors to learn something about what motivates and enthuses you.

Example: My vast collection of books and videos on "How the Body Works" when I was 7 years old first triggered my interest in the functions of the body. Watching the little personified, cartoon blobs that represented red blood cells run around an animated yet functioning body fascinated me and I longed to find out more. As a result, when a friend received a letter explaining their little girl had just been diagnosed with X at just 14 months old, I was intrigued to find out what this was.

6. The statement is called a personal statement for a reason

It should be written by you, not by your parents, siblings, or teachers. Do not plagiarise material that you find on the web as there is a great chance that such deception will be discovered.

7. Do not feel that there is a precise template to follow that will score you points!

We look for bright and independent thinkers, so try to be original!

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English language & literature personal statement example (oxford university).

What is more powerful than ardent love or the overwhelming intensity of human emotion? What is more powerful than a nuclear force, a fatal weapon, an instrument designed to destruct and destroy? Language and literature are the strongest forms of weaponry to exist. The alignment of each letter, the meticulous assortment of the vowels and consonants to produce a word, the hard phonetic quality of the 'ger' sound in the word anger and the soft lulling 'l' in love induce an emotional human response. My daily exposure to words, whether it be in the media or on a page in a novel; each word and the omnipotence it carries, is what informs my everyday decisions, influences the way I feel and affects me as a human.

My enthrallment with a writer’s ability to shape a reader's mind through a thought-provoking work of literature was notable during my studies of the ‘Ariel’ anthology by Sylvia Plath - a collection of poetry with a broad expression of themes such as female liberation and gender. Studying how Plath urged people to consider their own society through the profuse allusion to patriarchalism embedded in her writing style, encouraged me to research other works that challenged people's conceptions of society. I was able to explore this further in my Extended Project Qualification, an opportunity presented to me to plunge into the radical world of Angela Carter by exploring the question: "In what way does Angela Carter’s ‘The Bloody Chamber’ present Victorian societal issues?". This subversive tale proved to be an excellent example of pushing the boundaries of 20th century literature and is recognised for its avant-garde style. My involvement with this project has enabled me to venture beyond the curriculum, continuing the development of my interest for gender inequality in literature and exposing me to an extensive variety of feminist theory.

I further broadened my interest in Victorian gender issues and the Gothic presented in Carter's 'The Bloody Chamber' by reading Bram Stoker's ‘Dracula’, which effectively captures contrasting portrayals of women and supports the New Woman movement in the Victorian Fin de Siècle through its emulation of unconventional female representations as in Carter's ‘The Bloody Chamber.’ I then used my initiative to seek new interpretations of the novel by reading an article from The British Library "Daughters of Decadence" by Greg Buzwell, which interprets the novelist Stoker as having an aversion to the sexualised rebellion embodied in 'The New Woman', represented by his character Lucy Westernra, whom he presents in a sexually decadent light and kills off as punishment for her "sexual licentiousness"; while the adverse characterisation of Mina Murray is depicted as admirable and more traditional. I believe this view aligns well with the double standards of Victorian society which is a civilisation where a woman's sexual freedom is reprimanded while a male’s is overlooked. Critical works have not only stretched me to consider a multitude of new interpretations, but have also provoked me to find my own which is to be developed on degree course.

Through my appointment as a Head Student, my creative writing and public speaking skills have prospered greatly with the new responsibilities the role entails, which should enhance my ability to deliver presentations and lectures with ease and confidence on a course level. I have shown enthusiasm for writing through my entry to an Oxford University Modern Languages French film writing competition for which I was awarded a special commendation. My passion for the arts and my experience of being a performer, dedicating 7 hours of my week to dance lessons in ballet, jazz, tap, musical theatre and modern, featuring in two TV commercials and being a young performer in the Reading Christmas pantomime, is certain to enhance my ability to blossom in the study of literature; I believe that writing and the art of performance are a perfect enhancement of each other as they encompass the practices of creative expression and storytelling which mould the foundations to an ardent and successful writer. I have had the experience of being a Drama scholar and an English, Humanities and Languages scholar which in themselves are reflections of my academic excelling and intellectual curiosity in both fields of study.

My ideal career as a journalist encompasses analytical and communication skills which I believe this course will equip me with, but also requires passion and fulsome interest for writing which I have an abundance of and wish to build upon and take to a much higher and advanced level through the completion of an English Language and Literature degree.

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Oxford Personal Statement Examples: Top 4

If you’re looking to craft the perfect personal statement, reading over some Oxford personal statement examples will be the best way to start. It’s one thing to read college essay tips or instructions on how to write the perfect personal statement, but another entirely to see an example of how it’s done.

How to start a college essay can be tricky, but we have you covered! In this article, we have Oxford personal statement examples for your edification so that you can write your own best work.

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Article Contents 12 min read

Oxford personal statement examples, example no.1.

We are made of stories. History itself is the story we tell ourselves about who we are, and our oldest stories are still with us. Gilgamesh would never have found his immortality but through his story being told over and over again. Scrooge is visited by three ghosts every year for some people, and no matter how many times we hear about his conversion from miser to “…as good a man as the good old city knew…” we have our hearts warmed, reminding ourselves of the importance of human comfort and generosity. I have come to my interest in the classics through my interest in the stories we tell that make us who we are.

My personal reading list always exceeds my school’s reading list. When I was a boy, I was gripped by the stories of heroes like Perseus and Hercules. As I grew, I sought further stories and came across the epic poems. Over the years, I have found many people who share my enjoyment of these tales, but often they do not truly know them. One of my perpetual fascinations with classics is how these stories change, or are perceived, in the public consciousness.

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For example, many people know of the Labours of Hercules – or Herakles, as the Greeks said – but they rarely know why he was tasked with these Labours: he killed his children. We often make dark aspects of old stories into children’s stories. We see this with modern cartoon versions of far grimmer fairy tales. I believe that this has done our world a disservice. Instead of confronting unpleasant truths, we hide them. History is often whitewashed along with the stories to make it palatable.

My studies of the classics have led me to begin a work on Hercules – investigating how his story has been told and retold. I am also examining how the story has changed over the years, why it has changed and how retelling this story in gentler ways has paralleled pop culture dumbing down stories and ignoring unpleasant truths.

“It’s just a frog,” I thought, but no matter how I tried to convince myself of that fact, I didn’t find it any easier to dissect. I was disappointed in myself because I thought that a scientist should be dispassionate, logical, and capable of dealing with any sentimental subject in an objective fashion. Yet there was the frog, my scalpel poised dramatically above its little, amphibian torso. I was almost paralysed with sympathy, and I began to fear that I would never be a scientist.

When I was young, I would wander the woods, sketching plants and animals before looking them up at home. I am happiest when I am learning something new – even if it means unlearning a truth I “knew” the day before. I had loved labs and experiments, but I had hit the wall of dissection. Could I take these creatures apart? I love learning about them, but how could I slice them open?

I told my friend Jeremiah that I wasn’t going to dissect the bullfrog. I would drop the course and do something else with my life. “I’ll help,” he said, “Come on.” With his support and encouragement, I made the first cut and couldn’t believe what I saw; I was entranced by the intricacy of the frog. Being able to see and understand nature from an insider’s perspective, so to speak, was no longer “gross,” and my curiosity finally kicked in.

As I continued in biology, through lab experiments, dissections and investigations, I found myself reversing my position on the mentality of the scientist. It is not that we must be dispassionate, but that we must intimately feel a connection with the natural world. We are a part of this world – as perfectly slotted into our evolutionary position as any other creature. More excited than ever, I joined a biology club in our city where I was surrounded by biologists of all ages – amateur and professional – and I grew immensely. I was even awarded 1 st place in a biology Olympiad.

I believe that a truly successful scientist is one who finds harmony in the natural world, not one who exploits it, and I have had several conversations with my laboratory instructor on these points. He agreed with me, and we have been working on a rubric to create a more nature-friendly approach to the science curriculum at our school. He was already quite nature-conscious, but we both agree that we could be doing more to minimise our ecological footprints.

My dream job is one that helps to balance human interaction with nature on a global scale, to fight climate change and ensure the survival of all natural species. I hope to study the natural sciences at Oxford to bring this about. I believe that my journey is one of lifelong learning, a concept stressed at your school. I am also interested in your research in sustainable urban development. I think that co-existing with nature is one of the all-important issues for humanity and for an aspiring biologist. I want to contribute to a world where, even if we dissect frogs, we do so with a sense of responsibility, not callous indifference.

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Example No.3

I was ten minutes into a well-structured argument as to why I was not argumentative before I realised the irony of my words. I shut my mouth, red-faced and laughing with the rest of my family. I come from a family of debaters. Not that being a debater is the only thing that makes me want to study history and politics at your institution. Politicians are more than just arguers, but my temperament is well-suited to challenging ideas and wrestling with those ideas in the public sphere.

I want to make a difference on a national level in the political arena, serving the public as a politician. I joined the debate club to learn how to perform well in front of an audience, how to test my ideas and most importantly, how to lose. I am proud of my track record, wins and losses. Losses can be a strength. My first debate was, “Be it therefore resolved that there is an obesity problem in this country.” I was assigned the “pro” angle, and I was so sure that I could win by appealing to statistical realities. However, I lost. My opponent had sharper arguments and convinced the audience that “problem” implied an inherent morality issue with obesity. I had no counterargument.

From that loss, I learned how to use language better, to anticipate counterarguments and to know my opponent’s position better than my own. Every loss is an opportunity to grow, and I love that I have been pitted against fierce opponents who make me earn every point. I would rather achieve fewer victories against a skilled debater than gain many victories against those who are ill-prepared. I also rarely lose on the same subject twice.

This is relevant to my political philosophy, which is that I believe politicians should be willing to change their opinions, even on important issues. If nobody changed their minds, we would all be pig-headed fools. I want the best information, and if that changes my mind, so be it. We need more changed minds and evidence-based policies coming from politicians who value truth and accuracy, as well as the ethics to provide morally defensible positions.

Thanks to my debate club experience, I was able to campaign successfully for student body president, a position I held for two years. I took this responsibility seriously, even if not every peer or authority figure felt the same way. During my time in student government, my proudest accomplishment was helping create a new scholarship programme to fund the university studies and housing of one student. I believe that politicians should fight for changes that will benefit people, not just institutions, so this scholarship was a particularly exciting project for me to work on.

Outside of political ambitions, my favourite thing to do is to go to museums and art galleries. I take tremendous pleasure in discovering who we were and are and being able to compare the two. I hope to bring my historical knowledge and understanding to my career in politics.

Whether I am debating at family dinner or quietly, reverently studying in a museum, my greatest joy would be to help people build the society that they want to see.

Example No.4

When the first atomic bombs were detonated, Oppenheimer famously stated, “I am become death, destroyer of worlds,” characterising the transcendent regret he felt. Of course, Oppenheimer was himself quoting from the Bhagavad Gita. When I think of Oppenheimer’s sorrow, I think of the importance philosophy has for a person navigating hard sciences, like mathematics.

For many people, philosophy and mathematics – what I hope to study at Oxford – are divorced from one another, if not opposites. One, resulting from the musings of a curious mind, is seen as almost useless in practical terms. The other is seen as cold, scientific truth in written form. But I believe they are linked. I loved reading Oxford’s published paper, “Influencing HIV/AIDS Policy in India Through Mathematical Modelling.” Our math knowledge, and the application thereof, can directly affect the world around us, improving it for all.

In my final year of high school, I wanted to write about the impact that mathematics has on the world. I wrote a paper on black holes. I interviewed a mathematician named Peter Richards who was working at a physics lab studying the phenomenon. Mr. Richards told me how the gravity of black holes creates event horizons, shaping space around them, but that scientists are investigating whether gravity is influenced by light. This cosmological-level chicken-or-egg question became the basis of my paper, which was about how we think about the universe and our place in it. Mathematics might one day answer who we are and why we are here. This paper won 1 st place in an essay competition and secured me a small scholarship.

Math is the language of the universe. I see it everywhere: in nature’s patterns and in the music I play. I have been learning to play flutes – everything from woodwinds to concert flutes to world music instruments like ocarinas. As my study of math deepens, I become more immersed in exploring the range of the instrument, which, in turn, transforms my music. Math reshapes the world around us.

This study of the interplay between mathematics and philosophy led me to study the mathematics of global populations, which I believe will soon become imperative research on how we can maintain a sustainable eco-system. I attended a recent event for mathematicians studying global trends, where I interviewed several prominent mathematicians in the field for the school paper. I got to ask these important persons about their thoughts on the responsibility mathematicians have regarding humanity and the care needed to help our species. A surprising number – two out of the five I spoke with – had given little or no thought to the idea of blending philosophy and mathematics. I was shocked at this mathematical proof that even people in the field did not give much thought to this.

I hope to combat this in my own life and studies, encouraging mathematicians to increase their conscientious use of their skills to better humanity in a direct way, as well as to be more conscious of their responsibilities in the world today.

Oxford recommends that you follow the UCAS advice on personal statements when writing your own. It is well worth taking your time drafting your personal statement because the admissions committee at Oxford reads each one several times. They are really interested in learning about anything academic because they are curious about your potential in your field of study. This implies that they are interested in both what you have done and are doing in school as well as anything you have done outside of the classroom that is related to the subject you have chosen to study. More than being the best extracurriculars for college , Oxford refers to these activities as super-curriculars . Super-curriculars can be anything “you’ve read, listened to, watched or visited” that relates to your academic interests, unlike extracurriculars.

About 80% of your personal statement should discuss your academic interests and super-curriculars. The recommended structure is as follows:

• Opening paragraph explaining why you want to pursue the programme
• 3 or 4 paragraphs analysing your academic and super-curricular activities
• Brief closing paragraph about your extracurricular interests, with a focus on transferable skills and career plans/future aspirations

To ensure that your personal statement applies specifically to the University of Oxford, first look at the school’s mission, vision statement and core values. Aligning your essay with these values will help prove that Oxford is the perfect fit for you, which is your main goal. This is the first step in how to write a college essay for this school.

You may also want to reference other important aspects of Oxford. Do they have research in the area you want to work in? Do they have a professor you cannot wait to study with? Do they have the curriculum set up in a way that best suits you as a student and your future goals? You need to show not only how you fit with Oxford, but also how the school will propel you forward in a way that no other school could.

Oxford’s Mission Statement

“We inspire people locally, nationally and globally by extending access to Oxford’s world-class teaching and resources through flexible and inclusive opportunities for study and research.”

Oxford’s Vision Statement

“To be a global centre of excellence for lifelong learning. Courses will be underpinned by the best teaching, research and support for learning to meet the needs of diverse, ambitious and intellectually curious students. Staff and students will work together within and beyond Oxford to foster a vibrant learning community attentive to the importance of promoting sustainability and social justice.”

Oxford’s Values

Finally, note that all Oxford personal statements have a character cap of 4,000, including spaces, and must be no longer than 47 lines.

Essay Writing Tips

Here are some general pieces of advice to keep in mind while working through your college essay review process. These tips will apply to your Oxford essays, but they will also be beneficial for any essays. Essays follow a basic structure and have a fundamental goal that is shared among them, even when specifics differ. So, you could be writing supplemental college essays , college diversity essays , or Harvard medical school secondary essays , but regardless of the type of essay or school, these tips will still apply.

The Main Objective

All essays are, directly or indirectly, “ why this college” essays . The admissions committee is looking for students who fit their institution and are excited about attending. Whatever your college essay topics are, you’re always answering that fundamental question.

Start Strong

College essay introductions are hard in and of themselves. Conquering the introduction means beating the blank page. Start with the best “"hook” sentence you can find. That means you need an attention-grabbing opener that compels the reader to continue.

Once you’re through the introduction, you must follow through with two or three paragraphs about your accomplishments or criteria the school expect to hear about – in Oxford’s case, those are your academics and super-curriculars.

Each story should answer the fundamental question: “Why is this person perfect for this school?"

Wrap it up with a conclusion that summarises your main points and, if possible, connects to the introduction like a loop.

Up to 4,000 characters, which includes spaces.

You don’t want to go so short you can’t say anything of substance. Brevity is the soul of wit, however, so don’t worry about having a personal statement that is “only” 300–400 words long. Don’t pad out your statement; say what you need to and no more.

Your personal statement shows your unique abilities and personality and why you are ideally suited for the institution and programme to which you are applying. Showcase qualities like perseverance, leadership, teamwork, curiosity, creativity, logic and personal growth.

Your main focus will be on academics and super-curricular activities.

Negative people don’t come off well, so dwelling on problems, whining, or badmouthing people is never a good idea.

Formal, standard essay format is perfect: hook sentence, introduction, main body – which expresses one or two main ideas – and a conclusion that comes full-circle, ideally connecting to the introduction. You can use the first person, since this is a personal essay.

Always follow the rule of “show, don’t tell” to demonstrate your qualities and abilities.

Free-associate for a while. Give yourself one or two minutes to write on the programme you want to take at Oxford and just free-associate. By the end, your passion for the subject will have won out and given you a good list of ideas to explore.

Your essay gets cut off. Never exceed the limit. So, in practical terms, if you exceed the character limit, or 47 lines, part of your personal statement will be missing.

Not formally, no, but it is being evaluated, so make sure you edit properly and go over spelling and grammar with a fine-tooth comb.

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Personal Statement Examples: Singapore Students Admitted to Top UK and US Universities

Personal statements are an essential aspect of each application. It helps demonstrate your academic interests and passion, highlight your relevant experiences, and showcase your unique identity. However, the approach is different for universities in the UK and US and knowing these differences is vital when preparing your personal statement. To guide you, we’ve included several successful personal statements and sought the expertise of Jamie Beaton , CEO of Crimson Education, to review and analyse these essays. Jamie Beaton was accepted into all 25 of the world’s top universities including Harvard, Yale, Stanford, and Cambridge. Read on to discover what makes a strong personal statement!

How important is the personal statement?

The key thing to note with your personal statement is that it’s your chance to convey something else about yourself in your application . It’s an opportunity to sell yourself and connect with the admissions officer that is reading your essay!

If you’re applying to the UK , your personal statement should illustrate your skills and expertise in the chosen field while emphasising your passion and commitment for it . A UK personal statement is typically more academically-focused and universities are primarily interested in your academic achievements and a genuine demonstration of interest in the selected courses.

For the US , your essay should adopt a more personal and introspective angle and highlight areas like your personal growth, intellectual curiosity, and leadership development . Here, there is greater room for storytelling and creativity and it should portray a more holistic view of yourself.

Applications to both countries are made on two separate platforms: UCAS for the UK and Common Application or the university’s own platform for the US. Be sure to check out their respective websites for further information about the personal statement.

The UK personal statement

A good UK personal statement is direct and precise and it should show that the student is well prepared to study in their chosen discipline. Since the UK places a strong emphasis on your academics, try to include examples which are impactful and relevant. Your extracurricular activities, readings, and accomplishments should ideally be relevant to your chosen discipline.

With a 4,000 character limit , it’s important to strategise and remain factual and straightforward. It’s easy to lose focus in your essay as UCAS personal statements are typically open-ended with no prompts provided. As such, refrain from listing all your achievements and activities and instead dive deep into your academic journey.

Successful personal statements from students in Singapore admitted to top UK universities

Uk essay #1.

Undergoing treatment for my impacted maxillary canine tooth gave me a profound appreciation for dentistry. As I was treated by a multi-disciplinary team, I witnessed their skilfulness during each treatment stage, ultimately saving my tooth and relieving my jaw-aches. Gaining an anterior tooth in my dental arch also improved my self-esteem. The relationships I formed with each member of the team were meaningful, and I realised that as a dentist, I too, could improve patients' oral and mental health, developing similar connections.

Inspired to learn more about dentistry, I shadowed Dr. Shahul Hameed, an experienced general dentist. I observed the maintenance of a dental implant - the planning, execution and patient management. Curious to learn more about implant dentistry, I read up on the fundamentals of dental implants; principles of osseointegration and factors that influence the treatment plan, such as the load-bearing capacity of the implant compared to occlusal forces. Fascinated by dental sciences, I attended 'Discover Dentistry', a course by Sheffield University, where I learnt about current research, such as using cultured cells to assess biocompatibility of prostheses, giving me insight into the exciting future of dentistry. This spurred me to do my own research on the oral health status of the elderly living in care facilities globally. Having learnt about their poor oral health, measured using indices like the O'Leary Plaque and DMFT index, it was interesting to discover how this would greatly improve with routine care.

Another memorable experience involved Dr. Shahul extracting a wisdom tooth from a nervous patient. He explained the treatment plan concisely, making clear the possible risks before gaining her consent, in line with GDC principle 3. Upon completing the procedure, he congratulated her, demonstrating genuine care for the patient. Seeking to emulate his empathy and communication skills, I volunteered with Dementia Singapore. One event involved teaching elderly dementia patients to make lanterns using red packets. Overcoming the language barrier between us, I spoke in both English and Tamil, being understanding and displaying a flexible approach to communication. Currently being in National Service, which I will complete in 2025, I learnt how to provide first aid and CPR, improving my effective communication in emergency situations. Furthermore, I researched 'capgras syndrome,' a mental condition causing delusional misidentifications of people, for an arts competition, Destination Imagination. Acting out its symptoms made me more empathetic towards individuals with health conditions.

I also led a data analytics project, using machine learning to predict the virality of YouTube videos. This involved organising meetings and delegating tasks to my team based on their strengths, ensuring our project's progress. Such leadership skills are vital in managing a dental team. Using machine learning prompted me to consider its potential role in dentistry, in predicting the efficacy of treatments using digitally-stored patient data. I am intrigued about how this relates to patient confidentiality and how to balance patient beneficence with patient data protection. Moreover, I honed my manual dexterity skills by playing fingerstyle guitar pieces in my school's guitar ensemble. I also upload guitar covers online, garnering thousands of views. Additionally, I enjoy solving Rubik's cubes and participate in competitions. Recognising patterns during solves improved my focus - and such attention to detail is needed throughout dental procedures, to ensure successful treatments.

Dentistry is a complex field which requires technical skills and qualities like leadership and communication. Being treated by the skilled dental team has instilled in me fervour for wanting to learn more and mirror their expertise in the future.

Why this essay worked

• Personal Experience and Inspiration: This essay immediately captures the reader's attention with a personal anecdote. The candidate's own experience with dental treatment not only sparked their interest in dentistry but also provided a deep, genuine appreciation for the field. This makes their motivation to pursue dentistry feel authentic and compelling. The detailed account of how their treatment improved their self-esteem shows a personal connection and understanding of the impact dentists can have on their patients' lives.
• Demonstrated Commitment and Exploration: The candidate goes beyond expressing interest; they have actively pursued opportunities to learn more about dentistry. Shadowing Dr. Shahul Hameed and attending the 'Discover Dentistry' course at Sheffield University are concrete examples of their proactive approach. They’ve also engaged in self-directed research on oral health among the elderly, demonstrating intellectual curiosity and a commitment to contributing to the field. This level of initiative is precisely what we look for in candidates who will thrive in a rigorous academic environment.
• Broad Skill Set and Reflective Insight: What stands out is the breadth of skills and experiences the candidate brings. From volunteering with dementia patients to leading a data analytics project and playing guitar, they showcase a range of abilities that are valuable in dentistry. The ability to communicate effectively, demonstrate empathy, lead a team, and possess fine motor skills are all essential qualities for a successful dentist. Moreover, the candidate reflects on how each experience has contributed to their personal growth and how these skills are relevant to their future career. This reflection shows maturity and a deep understanding of the multifaceted nature of dentistry.

UK Essay #2

Throughout my upbringing, I have seen the different cultural traditions of the US, UK, and Singapore; it has been captivating to compare the different focal points from US individualism to collectivism in Singapore. I also explored issues faced by Muslims in America while placing first in a writing competition. Societies are critical in either acting as barriers or support mechanisms, and I am intrigued by the interplay between sociology and the world we have collectively crafted.

Living in a variety of cultures, I have found it compelling to understand how we have been shaped by the cultural patterns and social principles in which we have lived. This has inspired me to explore social action theory. This was fascinating to apply to my own life as I have observed how Singaporeans have used their work ethic and collectivist values to promote 'Tiger Parenting'. Intrigued by the difference in parenting methods between Western and Asian cultures, I engaged with the scholarship of Max Weber's concept that we should interpret the lived experiences of others subjectively rather than objectively, prompting me to further explore the world around us.

I completed the 'Social Context of Mental Health' course at the University of Toronto, and gained insights into the interplay between social contexts and their impact on mental health. This has deepened my understanding of how family, infrastructure, and culture are critical to healthcare. Comparing the traditional values that impeded accessibility to healthcare in the collectivist Asian culture and the Western focus on mental health was fascinating.

Subsequently, I read 'The History of Psychiatry in India' by S. Haque Nizamie, where it can be seen that the Atharva-Veda in ancient Vedic India suggested that mental illness might be linked to divine curses, sin, and witchcraft. The establishment of mental hospitals and more humane approaches were influenced by British psychiatry during the early colonial period. I reflected on the delicate balance required to achieve an optimal societal structure that fosters an individual's mental well-being without jeopardising the rich culture that defines communities.

I am working on a research project with a Ph.D. professor to explore gender performance and what it means to 'do' gender in diverse social contexts. Gender roles are critical in shaping identities and social structures with stereotypes also impacting the experiences of social groups; often, the traditional norms and inequalities make social change seem unattainable. I have explored how gender norms are socially constructed and enforced. I applied this to the motorsport industry, which is traditionally dominated by masculine ideals. Perceived gender roles have affected the perception of female racers, thereby shaping their experiences and limiting their opportunities; in other words, there is a complex interaction between societal expectations, gender norms, and individual experiences. I hope to continue contributing to this discourse, and create positive change.

I have worked as part of the corporate communications team in Singapore's largest real estate company, where I have focused on connecting with a specific part of society by developing articles and podcasts for Gen Z. Beyond this, I was a school prefect and mentor during my A Levels, and aimed to support students academically. I am a passionate dancer having won the East England Grand Final Championships, and I was a captain of a dance team for five years.

Sociology uniquely offers insight into the root causes of issues, namely the challenge of inequality, systematic injustice, and the unravelling of social structures. I hope to pave the way for a more equitable future and challenge ingrained norms by studying this degree. To undertake challenges affecting the twenty-first century, one must have a fundamental understanding of sociology; it informs and dictates the world around us, setting the course and boundaries for change.

• Rich Cultural Perspective and Personal Connection: This essay stands out due to the student's rich cultural experiences in the US, UK, and Singapore. The ability to draw comparisons between individualism and collectivism, along with a personal engagement in social issues like Muslim experiences in America, gives a genuine and insightful perspective. This multicultural background provides a strong foundation for studying sociology and demonstrates a deep personal connection to the subject matter.
• Intellectual Curiosity and Academic Engagement: The student's proactive approach to learning is evident through their completion of the 'Social Context of Mental Health' course at the University of Toronto and their independent reading of 'The History of Psychiatry in India.' This shows a clear commitment to understanding complex sociological concepts and their real-world applications. Additionally, their involvement in a research project on gender performance with a Ph.D. professor highlights a high level of academic engagement and a desire to contribute to scholarly discourse.
• Diverse Extracurricular Involvement and Leadership: The student's extracurricular activities, including working in corporate communications, being a school prefect and mentor, and excelling in dance, demonstrate a well-rounded individual with strong leadership skills. These experiences not only showcase their ability to connect with various social groups but also highlight their dedication to supporting others and fostering community. The blend of academic and extracurricular achievements paints a picture of a dynamic and motivated candidate, well-suited for a sociology degree.

UK Essay #3

When my younger brother was born with Sacrococcygeal Teratoma (SCT), I was told that he was born with a “bunny tail” on his bottom. When I saw the teratoma, the fantasy of having a half-bunny, half-human brother quickly faded, but my curiosity grew. In studying Biomedical Sciences, I hope to feed my childhood curiosity by deepening my knowledge of how the body works, and how it fails. I aspire to connect this knowledge to congenital disorders such as SCT having seen the health and self-esteem issues it can cause. This has inspired me to go further in my acquisition of knowledge and its real-world application.

Research suggests SCT arises from the incomplete migration of primordial germ cells from the yolk sac to the gonadal ridges during embryogenesis. Other sources state that SCT may be due to the failure of the Hensen’s node to regress or due to the residual totipotent stem cells from the Hensen’s node. While ultrasound, amniocentesis or chorionic villus sampling can be used to visualise and diagnose congenital disorders, it is difficult to elucidate abnormal gastrulation, for example, as it occurs very early on in pregnancy. This, along with the multifactorial nature of congenital disorders, impedes on the understanding of conditions that manifest during foetal development. It is this ambiguity that compels me to use my Biomedical education to help further the understanding of congenital disorders like SCT.

I decided to investigate the emerging research on the interplay between our microbiome and health in my Extended Essay (EE). Initially, I wanted to explore the topic of the skin microbiome using biological models. It was difficult to replicate the conditions of the human skin microbiome, but these challenges motivated me to be more creative and proactive in my experimental design. For example, I tried to measure the difference in turbidity between L. casei, B. subtilis, and a solution containing both species, to model the relationship between the commensal skin bacteria S. aureus and S. epidermidis. While this trial did not yield conclusive data, I gained valuable knowledge such as learning the aseptic technique, alongside personal growth through discovering the importance of maintaining morale and motivation through failed trials, developing my independence as a scientist. Additionally, through my EE process, I discovered a passion for research and was fascinated by Zhang et al’s study into the role L. acidophilus S-layer proteins play in the inhibition of pathogenic E. coli. Some of the techniques used by Zhang et al to explore this were gel electrophoresis and mass spectrometry, which I had learnt about in my IB biology and chemistry courses. I had previously only associated these techniques with limited applications such as DNA separation and relative atomic mass. To see their use in a sophisticated manner alongside more complex methods was inspiring. I look forward to cultivating my laboratory skills and becoming proficient in conducting research; allowing me to delve deeper into my understanding of the intricacies within the human body.

I am also passionate about fitness and enjoy applying my knowledge of muscle contraction, the cardiac system, and the muscular system to my fitness journey. In October 2023, I competed in my first endurance fitness race, Hyrox, where I was the youngest of 3500 participants. This pushed me to my limits in the best way, as sticking to a strict training plan while doing the IB was challenging, but showed me the value of consistency, hard work, and teamwork. While I appreciate the rigour of science, I also enjoy learning Spanish, playing the piano, and cooking for friends and family. I hope studying Biomedical Sciences not only fuels my interest in understanding our bodies but also enables me to contribute to its broad positive impact on human health.

• Personal Connection and Clear Motivation: This essay excels in establishing a strong personal connection to the field of Biomedical Sciences through the story of the student’s brother born with Sacrococcygeal Teratoma (SCT). The vivid and heartfelt description of the brother's condition and its impact on the family provides a compelling narrative that clearly motivates the student’s interest in congenital disorders. This personal anecdote not only makes the essay relatable but also highlights the student's deep-rooted passion for understanding and addressing health issues.
• Research Experience and Intellectual Curiosity: The student’s detailed account of their Extended Essay (EE) on the microbiome demonstrates a high level of intellectual curiosity and a proactive approach to research. The discussion of experimental design challenges and the use of techniques like gel electrophoresis and mass spectrometry shows a sophisticated understanding of scientific methods. The ability to connect classroom knowledge to real-world applications, despite setbacks, reflects resilience and a genuine enthusiasm for scientific inquiry. This depth of research experience and commitment to learning is highly impressive.
• Well-Roundedness and Diverse Interests: Beyond academic pursuits, the student showcases a well-rounded personality through their passion for fitness, languages, music, and cooking. Competing in the Hyrox endurance race while managing IB studies highlights qualities such as determination, time management, and teamwork. These extracurricular activities illustrate a balanced and dynamic individual who not only excels in scientific endeavours but also values physical health, cultural engagement, and community. This diverse set of interests and skills makes the student a well-rounded candidate, poised to contribute meaningfully to the field of Biomedical Sciences and beyond.

The US personal statement

A strong US personal statement should provide a unique window into the student’s identity and personality . It helps the university understand who the student is holistically through their experiences, goals, and values. Thus, it’s important to include the experiences that reflect your core beliefs and how they have changed you. Reflecting genuinely and writing authentically is key with a US personal statement.

A 650-word limit is typically imposed on US essays, and you will be required to address a specific prompt . Additionally, most competitive universities also require the submission of supplemental essays . They are meant to support your application and give the admissions officer a deeper understanding of you. It’s important to treat the supplemental essay with the same dedication as your personal statement as they can also influence the admission decision. The word limit for the supplemental essays varies by university, typically ranging from a few words to 650 or more words .

Successful personal statements from students in Singapore admitted to top US universities

For the following essays, observe how their approach is different from a UCAS personal statement.

US Essay #1

The sickening smell of chrysanthemums mixed with incense made me nauseous. I stared at the white pearl placed precariously on my great-grandmother's lips, and tried to identify her through her embalmed face.

It was the 31st of July. I was sixteen, and this was my first time at a funeral wake.

It was in an open space, on a windy day, and I felt suffocated.

Leaving the altar, I joined a sea of faces foreign yet so familiar: distant cousins, uncles, relatives that were my age. We shared the same eyes, but I could not remember ever seeing them.

Suddenly, I was startled by joyous sounds. It was unmistakable — someone was laughing. At a funeral? That can't be right. Looking up, I saw my relatives cracking jokes while folding Joss paper. I was bewildered. How could they still laugh in grief? Curious, I joined them.

They were folding gold ingots from Joss paper, spirit currency at Chinese funerals. I, their new recruit, was handed a stack. Following the movements of my relatives, I kept pace. As we folded the Joss paper in unison, my reservations of displaying anything other than grief subsided. I sensed a tinge of sadness from everyone at the table, and realized they were joking around not because of their lack of sensitivity, but rather because of their empathy. We all shared the same grief that threatened to consume us, so why not share the burden?

We put our despondency into those sheets of paper and shaped them into gifts for offering. The jokes and laughter continued as we filled bag after bag with the paper gold ingots, and I found myself joining in their conversation, consoled by the hopeful atmosphere amidst a somber day. As per tradition, we burned the filled bags. I watched the flames of renewal eat up our hours of labor and consume along with it the worst of our sorrow. The dancing flames were laughing at death, stealing the spotlight in the ballad of goodbyes. Despite all the smoke, I could finally breathe better than before.

"Zai jian," I said with a smile when the fire finally died. In Mandarin, zai means 'again' and jian means 'meet'. When put together they express goodbye but simultaneously imply hope of future encounters. I knew that there would be more of such.

The sweet smell of chrysanthemums now reminds me of new beginnings. Just as the funeral wake brought my family closer than ever, I understood from this experience that goodbyes could also allow for new connections. I later found out that the pearl I had seen on my late great-grandmother's lips symbolizes rebirth: just as the oyster goes through a process of transformation to create the pearl, the memories we have made can grow into something beautiful and valuable. Although I did not realize this before, goodbyes were not any indication of the end, but rather a necessary prelude to metamorphosis.

• Engaging and Vivid Narrative: This essay immediately captures attention with its vivid and sensory-rich descriptions, starting with the "sickening smell of chrysanthemums mixed with incense." The detailed portrayal of the funeral wake, from the sight of the embalmed face to the act of folding Joss paper, immerses the reader in the experience. This narrative style not only makes the essay compelling but also showcases the student’s ability to convey complex emotions and scenes effectively.
• Cultural Insight and Personal Growth: The essay offers a deep dive into the student’s cultural heritage, providing a nuanced understanding of Chinese funeral traditions. The student’s initial confusion about laughter at a funeral and their subsequent realisation about empathy and shared grief highlight significant personal growth. This transformation from bewilderment to acceptance and understanding illustrates maturity and a capacity for introspection, which are essential traits for a college applicant.
• Reflective and Symbolic Conclusion: The conclusion of the essay beautifully ties the entire experience together by reflecting on the symbolism of the pearl and the concept of "zai jian." This reflective insight about goodbyes being a prelude to new beginnings and metamorphosis adds depth to the narrative. The student’s ability to find hope and beauty in a traditionally sombre event demonstrates resilience and an optimistic outlook on life, making this essay both memorable and impactful.

US Essay #2

“And the award goes to...”

My eyes were glued to my computer screen, and my heart was pounding in my chest. Could we do it? Did we do it?

“Team Quasar!”

Allow me to tell you a story of the last few months of the year 2020. Those few months would launch me into the endless space of ideas and possibilities.

It was the Singapore Space Challenge 2021. Teams were required to design a lunar rover mission. It was a highly demanding competition that needed a technical understanding of engineering and space, not to mention the incredibly heavy workload of making a 50-page report and 10-minute video within a few months. Space engineering was completely new to me and my team, and the other teams were mostly university students who were experts in the field. Could we really do it? Are we even qualified for this? I was captivated by the possibilities the challenge could open up, but I second-guessed myself over and over again.

“You know what? Let’s do it.”

And so my team and I signed up for the Singapore Space Challenge 2021.

Over the course of the competition, we were stumbling on our feet. We scoured the internet for research reports and videos to learn about space engineering, from the structure of rover wheels to lunar lander modules. We couldn’t come up with anything that satisfied our high expectations for ourselves, though. So my team and I decided to take a step back. We were at a disadvantage because we knew little about engineering. We were only fifteen, after all.

But what if we turned this constraint into an opportunity? Our lack of experience in the field meant that we weren’t restricted by preconceived notions of what should and shouldn’t be. We could take lots of liberties in technicalities. We could sell a creative idea that takes inspiration from nature to demonstrate its conceptual suitability for its task of excavation. So, we went back to the drawing board. We went back and forth with all sorts of ideas until one of us said the word “worm”. Everyone went quiet but our eyes lit up.

We then came up with our award-winning idea: the lunar excavation worm.

We stopped questioning whether something would work without giving it a try, and went crazy with what our worm could do. Turning ice on the Moon to rocket fuel? Sounds fun! Making it do backflips to climb hills? Let’s do it!

The deadline was approaching, and it was time to get serious. We put our strengths of research, designing and writing together to design a full-fledged robotic worm. After 3 weeks of intense work, we submitted our entry with satisfaction, hope, and inspiration.

When the organizers announced that our team won the Women in STEM Award, I jumped from my seat and screamed. Our WhatsApp group flooded with exclamations in capital letters.

I took away so many lessons those few months. I learned that we should never give up on something because we think we’re not good enough. Instead of asking “why”, how about asking “why not”? Instead of undermining our potential by comparing ourselves to others, why not leverage our own talents to create something that is uniquely ours?

Inspired by our achievement, my team and I continued to take part in similar competitions, coming up with various project ideas from biology experiments in space to autonomous delivery systems.

But what could our ideas do if they just stayed on paper? Physically building a rover is certainly no easy feat, but by combining our knowledge and expertise we could learn in college, I believe we could really bring our beloved worm to life. I hope that by continuing to innovate and create, I will be able to make some contribution, no matter how small, to the scientific community, or to the betterment of people’s lives.

• Engaging Storytelling and Clear Passion: This essay immediately grabs attention with the suspenseful opening about winning an award, which draws the reader into the narrative. The detailed recounting of the Singapore Space Challenge 2021 is both engaging and inspirational, showcasing the student’s journey from doubt to triumph. This storytelling approach not only makes the essay memorable but also highlights the student’s ability to overcome challenges and achieve remarkable success through perseverance and creativity.
• Creative Problem-Solving and Teamwork: The student’s description of how their team transformed constraints into opportunities by leveraging their unique perspective is impressive. The innovative idea of the "lunar excavation worm" and the decision to draw inspiration from nature demonstrate a high level of creativity and problem-solving skills. Additionally, the essay emphasises the importance of teamwork, collaboration, and the ability to adapt and think outside the box, which are crucial skills in any field, especially in engineering and science.
• Reflection and Future Aspirations: The reflective insights gained from the competition, such as asking "why not" instead of "why" and leveraging one’s own talents, reveal a mature and growth-oriented mindset. The student’s aspiration to bring their ideas to life and contribute to the scientific community underscores a strong sense of purpose and ambition. This forward-looking perspective, combined with a proven track record of success in challenging environments, makes the student a compelling candidate for any academic program.

US Essay #3

“Nam-myo-ho-renge-kyo”

The chant gave the funeral a more somber tone. As I said my goodbyes to my grandmother, Obaba, and looked back on her life, I took comfort in knowing that the important lessons that she taught me will continue to guide me. I remembered the same soft melodious chant reverberating around Obaba’s prayer room. Just Obaba and I in this haven of peace. I was five years old, sitting attentively on the tatami mat next to her, chanting Lotus Sutra, a Buddhist chant that extols the significance of compassion.

By eight years old, I was accustomed to rising at daybreak, walking through the mist to visit the temple and offer prayers to my ancestors. At ten, clothed in a white robe, I ascended the towering 3,783-foot expanse of Minobu Mountain with my family on a pilgrimage to experience a monk’s daily lifestyle. Obaba started this tradition in 1950; my family has upheld it ever since.

Obviously, at such a young age, I didn’t fully understand the deep significance of these religious practices: reciting morning Sutras, offering prayers, nightly expressions of gratitude to my ancestors, nor the religious talisman I wore. At times, prayers floated above my little head while I dozed off. Other times, I was simply bored. But when Obaba passed away, something changed.

After her death, I felt compelled to explore Buddhism at a deeper level to understand the source of Obaba’s boundless kindness and resilience. In her 101 years, she’d climbed the mountain annually for more than half a century, and now I felt the urge to practice Buddhism. I dove in by reading the classic texts–The Metta Sutta, The Lankavatara Sutra, and The Kalama Sutta. While I understood the meaning of the words, they didn’t reach my heart. It wasn't until I began to do the daily practice that Buddhism began to unveil its revelations.

Slowly, it dawned on me: Buddhism's essence lies in “compassion.” By immersing myself in active practice, I came to recognize Buddhism's role as a hub of social support. Its compassionate teachings played a pivotal role in helping my Obaba navigate the challenges of World War II and cultivate a lifelong spirit of empathy. Obaba was an inspiration to people from all walks of life, and they’d often seek her to pour out their problems. She’d lend a patient ear and offer advice or simply provide a comforting presence. Obaba led a life dedicated to service. She worked on cultivating her inner peace, which enabled her to assist others in their own journey towards inner tranquility. It became clear to me this was the lesson I’d been seeking all along.

Throughout the pandemic, I became increasingly aware of the struggles within the Buddhist community, where many people experienced significant economic hardship. Embracing Obaba's legacy as my guiding spirit, I initiated a video project for the Buddhist community, since in-person gatherings were restricted. Every morning, after cleaning the temple, I arranged my equipment to create relevant content for our community. These videos featured meditation sessions, insightful teachings from revered monks, and highlights of our community's events.

In the beginning, doubt gnawed at me. Would anyone be interested in online sessions? However, as heartfelt comments poured in, my anxieties dissolved, replaced by a determination to provide more for our community. It was, then, that I recognized how compassion for each of the community members is crucial in cultivating a sense of unity. Through this experience, I gleaned the profound importance of extending compassion by harnessing my own skills to uplift my community members during challenging times, including the pandemic–similar to what Obaba did during WWII.

Having said that, I am who I am today because Obaba exemplified what compassion and resilience are. As a result, I hold her as my role model, aspiring to adopt her qualities by becoming an individual who extends compassion and care to others within the community.

• Emotional and Personal Connection: This essay immediately draws the reader in with its heartfelt reflection on the passing of the student's grandmother, Obaba. The vivid descriptions of childhood memories, such as chanting the Lotus Sutra and climbing Minobu Mountain, create a deep emotional connection. The student’s journey from not fully understanding the religious practices to finding profound meaning in them after Obaba’s death demonstrates personal growth and a strong emotional connection to their heritage and family traditions.
• Demonstration of Compassion and Community Engagement: The student’s active engagement in the Buddhist community, especially during the pandemic, is highly commendable. Initiating a video project to support the community highlights the student’s leadership, initiative, and compassion. This act of service not only illustrates their ability to adapt to challenging circumstances but also their commitment to helping others, reflecting the teachings of Buddhism and the legacy of Obaba. The essay effectively shows how the student embodies the values of compassion and resilience learned from their grandmother.
• Cultural Insight and Reflective Growth: The essay provides a rich cultural insight into Buddhist practices and their significance within the student’s life. The detailed account of religious rituals, texts, and the role of Buddhism as a source of social support offers a unique perspective. The student’s reflective growth, from questioning the relevance of these practices to embracing them fully, highlights a mature understanding of their cultural and spiritual identity. This reflective journey, combined with a strong sense of purpose and aspiration to follow in Obaba’s footsteps, makes the essay both inspiring and deeply personal.

US Essay #4

The piercing sound of the school bell marked the end of the day. But I found myself reluctant to exit the classroom. I didn’t want to go home.

While growing up as an only child allowed me to enjoy all the attention focused from my parents, it also meant that I was faced with high expectations. Since they have always worked hard and would often return home late, I felt that cooking dinner was my way of giving back to my family.

Cooking was not easy, and this was especially true of Chinese dishes. While I am no professional, I have improved rapidly over the years. From changing how I slice the pork belly to adapting the proportion of oyster sauce I use, I have always taken satisfaction in refining every detail to optimize the taste of my dishes so that my parents could enjoy a hearty meal after an exhausting day. Cooking was more than a chore - cooking Chinese food and eating it at the round table at the end of the day was my language to connect with my busy parents. I felt I would disappoint them if I messed up the dish.

And so, inevitably, cooking turned out to be the most stressful part of my daily routine. At the end of every school day, the sparks of knowledge acquired would quickly be extinguished by my anxious thoughts of what to cook that night. Walking towards the kitchen, I would notice my pace slowing down. I was worried that even one mistake would completely ruin the dish. And so, I was more careful in the style I tossed the fried rice and was more afraid to experiment with different spices that I infused in my Kung Pao chicken. As the screeching tires signaled the arrival of my parents, I could feel my heart drumming; in a matter of minutes, my food would be judged and critiqued. The pressure of this routine started to smother my enjoyment of cooking.

A couple of years ago, I was asked to cook for my Taoist community for the ‘Birthday of Quan Yin’ festival. I was excited to connect with my community through my cooking skills. I proudly pulled out the wok, threw in the ingredients, and focused on the tempo of sizzling, as the perfect ‘wok hay’ aroma of ‘char kuey teow’ was unleashed into the air. I poured my passion, mastery, and love for my culinary heritage into the dish and forgot about everything else. As I was distributing the food onto plastic plates, I was startled by my mother standing right behind me.

“Smells good, son,” she said. The single sentence wasn’t just any compliment - it expressed emphatic approval after years of fastidious evaluation of my dishes.

Looking back, my self-discipline and perfectionism, which my culture considers as admirable traits, had created fear and pressure in everything I did, preventing me from enjoying my passion for cooking and sharing a meal. I always thought that this was caused by the high expectations set by my parents. From my enjoyable experience of connecting people through my cooking, I realized that all along it was my own expectation of my parents’ approval that fueled me to set ever higher expectations for myself.

While I cannot deny these very expectations are what led me to accomplish things that I thought were not possible athletically or academically, I am now aware that my passion for cooking would have slowly deteriorated if I only focused on the results. And, perhaps most importantly, I consider this experience a great metaphor for other things in life: even if the noodles are too salty or otak-otak slightly overcooked, as long as I pour my passion into it, enjoy myself in the process, and share my joy with the people I love, we will be having a hearty meal.

• Vivid and Relatable Storytelling: This essay captivates the reader with a relatable and vivid narrative. The detailed descriptions of the student’s cooking experiences, from slicing pork belly to tossing fried rice, provide a sensory-rich account that draws the reader in. The progression from cooking as a stressful obligation to a joyful and communal activity is compelling and relatable, highlighting the student's growth and introspection. The story effectively illustrates the challenges and rewards of balancing high expectations with personal enjoyment.
• Cultural and Familial Connection: The essay beautifully intertwines the student’s cultural heritage with their family dynamics. The act of cooking Chinese dishes and sharing meals at the round table serves as a powerful metaphor for connection and communication within the family. Additionally, the mention of cooking for the Taoist community adds depth, showing the student’s engagement with their cultural and religious traditions. This connection to culture and family provides a rich backdrop to the student’s personal journey, making the essay both meaningful and authentic.
• Reflection and Personal Growth: The student’s reflection on the pressures of high expectations and the realisation that these were largely self-imposed is profound. The shift from focusing on results to embracing the process and sharing joy with loved ones demonstrates significant personal growth and maturity. The essay conveys a valuable life lesson about finding balance and passion in one’s pursuits. This introspective quality, combined with the student's ability to articulate their thoughts and feelings, makes the essay insightful and inspiring, showcasing the student’s readiness for future challenges and growth.

US Essay #5

At 6, I really wanted to be a swan. A peculiar profession to most, this impassioned declaration was often met with baffled stares. Luckily, the reality was much more attainable: I wanted to be the White Swan from the classic Swan Lake. Gazing upwards from my booster seat at my first ballet, I grew enamoured by the unparalleled grace of the White Swan. Entranced, I pictured myself in her dainty little shoes floating across the stage. An excitement quelled in my chest–the early embers that would spark into a raging flame. No matter what, I will be the next White Swan.

Fast forward ten years and I can barely do a split! Forget backbends or leaps, I’ve yet to grasp the baseline for flexibility. It appears that as I grow older, I become less like the graceful swan I once aspired to become and more like Big Bird. I lack natural grace and elegance. My hips are stubbornly turned inwards and standing in the basic ‘fifth-position’ hurts my joints. My non-existent stamina deters me from sustaining high jumps through a routine. It seems that my only aptitude in dance is making every move look more laborious than it already is.

All around me I see friends excelling at their passions, boasting shelves of trophies and accolades. Meanwhile, I’m still struggling to attain a ‘distinction’ grade in my ballet exam. Merit grade’s not bad, but not very good either. I’ve watched my ballet classmates covet and achieve solo opportunities, while I remain shrouded in the background of ensemble dancers. I’ve watched them walk out the studio glowing with satisfaction after mastering a move, while I stay back, alone, fumbling with the exact same step.

Somehow, despite the frustration, passion would still drive me to attend every rehearsal, fraying countless ballet-slippers. I’ve gone on painfully restrictive diets all in a bid to achieve the ideal ‘ballerina’ physique. I’ve committed to demanding workout plans to build up my stamina, and dedicated myself to a consistent stretching regimen to increase flexibility. I’ve done all I could, ticked off all the prerequisites for progress, and yet I’ve plateaued in my ballet skills. I’ve trusted the process, but it seems that the process has failed me.

But here’s the thing: I still love ballet. Despite the adversities, I still find myself yearning to slip on my slippers and perform my routines. Invariably, I find myself loving dance.

Maybe it’s because the beauty of passion is the courage to continue even in the face of failure. Through this arduous journey I’ve learned that passion isn’t the brilliant spark of a raging fire, but the muted embers that glow, unwaveringly. It doesn’t matter if I fail to achieve my splits or ‘distinctions,’ because I’ve come to appreciate the gnawing ache in my legs as I leap and pirouette, and respect my ardour in continuing every dance despite mistakes and cramps. Passion isn't the extreme highs and lows of victory; it’s the persistent fight in enduring what we do, for the sake of doing what we love. I don’t enjoy the pain, nor the disappointment, but it’s these factors that are testaments to my depth of passion. Passion does not equate to greatness, but I don’t dance for greatness. I dance for the people. The lessons. The understanding of a beautiful art form.

Now when I watch ballet, I no longer envision myself as the dancer on stage. I’ve stopped dreaming of a career on stage. I no longer proudly showcase my routines to my family. But I haven’t stopped showing up, giving my all, and most importantly, enjoying it. Maybe I’ll never be a white swan, but that’s irrelevant. Because I know that I'll keep dancing for a long time to come. The truth behind doing what we love is that we never stop fighting for it, no matter the cost. Such is the beauty of passion.

• Authenticity and Perseverance: This essay stands out for its authenticity and raw honesty. The student’s journey from a childhood dream of becoming the White Swan to facing the harsh realities of their limitations in ballet is portrayed with genuine emotion. Despite not achieving the lofty goals they set for themselves, the student’s continued dedication to ballet, even in the face of persistent challenges and setbacks, showcases an admirable level of perseverance. This genuine reflection on their experiences highlights the student’s resilience and commitment, making the essay relatable and impactful.
• Deep Understanding of Passion: The student’s evolving understanding of what true passion entails is a central theme that adds depth to the essay. The shift from seeing passion as a path to greatness to recognizing it as the courage to persist despite failure is profound. The student articulates this realisation eloquently, showing a mature perspective on the nature of dedication and love for an art form. This nuanced understanding of passion, illustrated through personal anecdotes and reflections, provides a compelling narrative that resonates with the reader.
• Engaging and Relatable Narrative: The essay is engaging and relatable, filled with vivid descriptions and a touch of humour. The contrast between the student’s initial dreams and the reality of their ballet skills is depicted in a way that is both poignant and endearing. The student’s self-awareness and ability to find joy in the process, rather than the outcome, offer valuable life lessons. This narrative not only captures the reader’s attention but also leaves a lasting impression of the student’s character, making it a memorable and effective personal statement.

Tips on writing effective personal statements

Now that you’ve reviewed several successful personal statements, you may have noticed some recurring themes. Here are a few tips on how to write an impactful personal statement!

1. Start early

You can’t rush a personal statement so start early! This gives you ample time to brainstorm and plan ahead. As it might be intimidating to approach a blank page and begin writing, it’s important to first plan what you intend to write . We suggest using lists and diagrams like mind maps to visualise potential key topics and how they may be connected. Outlining your personal statement before you begin writing helps keep your thoughts organised and ensures a smooth flow.

Your reader already knows the who but what about the why ? If you’re stuck on what to write about, the why is a useful starting point for your brainstorming . Reflect on your unique experiences and values and think about why you intend to study in the chosen discipline. Which experience sparked your interest?

You should also research the specific courses and universities that you are interested in before you begin writing to learn more about their requirements and expectations. Use this to carefully align your narrative with the university’s values. For UK personal statements, try to make it evident that you’ve done your research by highlighting the relevant knowledge, experiences, and qualities that you have in your essay.

2. Practice makes perfect

Crafting an outstanding personal statement requires plenty of practice! Your first draft is unlikely to be perfect so don’t be discouraged by the number of revisions you’ll need.

Start by writing freely and ignoring the word or character limit. Aim to include everything you want to cover in your final draft, and don’t worry if it’s too long as you can refine it later. Nevertheless, always keep the purpose of your personal statement in mind throughout the drafting process to stay on track. If you’re writing a UCAS personal statement, ensure that the reader can clearly understand your expertise and academic goals. For US applications, the reader should understand your unique identity and characteristics better. Keep on practising and editing until your essay's message is clear and impactful!

3. Showcase a reflective nature

Strong personal statements are authentic and reflective . However, while you may have encountered a lot of significant experiences, what happened to the student is often less important than how they processed and understood it . As such, try to reflect deeply on those key moments and ask yourself questions like “how did that event make me a better person” and “how has it changed the way I view myself or the world”. It’s okay to be vulnerable in your essay so be honest in your reflection. It’s important to highlight your journey of personal growth and self-discovery as it can demonstrate your level of maturity and emotional depth.

For UCAS essays, connecting your reflection to what you intend to study is essential . For instance, it could influence your motivation to pursue your chosen discipline or contribute to your knowledge and experience in a subject matter. Ultimately, it should prove your passion and enthusiasm for your chosen discipline.

Expand on your reflection and conclude your essay with an optimistic future outlook. Try to link your experiences and the lessons you’ve learned with your goals and how they’ve prepared you for your future academic and professional pathways. For example, you can elaborate on how your involvement in STEM research has inspired your altruistic aim to advance and benefit humanity. The key here is to highlight your journey and show how your experiences have shaped your future ambitions and actions.

4. Highlight your passion

Especially for US personal statements, letting your passion shine through in your essay is a great way for the admissions officer to understand you better . You need not mention everything you’re passionate about so select one or a few that you can integrate into your narrative. You can even use them to set the tone and foundation for your personal statement.

In the previous essays, notice how these students have cleverly capitalised on their passion to drive their narratives and demonstrate their journey of personal growth. They combine their passion with their life experiences, reflect on the challenges and growth they’ve encountered, and draw connections to meaningful lessons, making their essays memorable and insightful. In fact, highlighting how you’ve changed through your passion offers key insights into your characteristics and mindset!

5. Proofread the final draft

The spelling, grammar, and structure of your essay is crucial so be meticulous when proofreading . While content is important, your writing skills bring the best stories to life. Read your final draft aloud multiple times and see if it flows well. Watch for any awkward phrases, jarring transactions, and grammatical or spelling errors as they can undermine even the strongest essays.

Ask yourself these questions as you read your personal statement: do my ideas connect logically, is my writing engaging and succinct, and are there any segments that can be cut or expanded on? A strong essay should be cohesive with every element seamlessly woven into its narrative - nothing should feel out of place. Also, ensure that you’ve covered all the key points from your initial outline.

Seek feedback from as many people as possible as it’s useful to get external perspectives. Share a copy with a trusted friend, teacher, mentor, or family member, and ask for an impartial review. If the overall narrative isn’t clear, consider revisiting and refining it.

Identifying and overcoming common mistakes

Writing a personal statement is a challenging endeavour and many mistakes can be made during the process. Here are a few common mistakes and how you can avoid them!

1. Overlooking your audience

A common mistake students make is losing sight of their audience. Be mindful of your writing style as it varies depending on the country you’re intending to apply to . For the UCAS personal statement, students often adopt a flowery writing style to tell a story instead of being direct and factual. Remember, the aim of the UCAS personal statement is to highlight your expertise, academic goals, and vision for your time in university. Make sure that every element of your essay is aligned with these areas. 

For the US on the other hand, many students assume that difficult and emotional personal topics make the best essays. However, not all strong personal statements are about hardship. You should only write about such experiences if they are authentic and have shaped your life in some way. It’s essential to genuinely reflect on your life experiences so avoid writing about a topic just for the sake of it.

2. Being redundant

The reader can see your entire application so your personal statement shouldn’t be a reiteration of it . You have a word limit so refrain from listing your accomplishments and grades that are already on your application. It’s your opportunity to show a different aspect of yourself so try to reveal something new. While you still might want to highlight a relevant achievement, don’t just list it in your essay, explain how this experience has impacted you!

3. Coming across as arrogant

Highlighting your unique experiences and strengths is important in your essay but be mindful of your tone . Be humble, the purpose of your essay is not to show that you are the best! There’s always room for improvement so avoid suggesting that you’ve already learned everything about yourself or a subject matter. Instead, try adopting a more forward-looking approach to show how you still strive for self-improvement despite your strengths. There’s always room for improvement!

4. Honesty is the best policy

Lying or exaggerating on your personal statement is a surefire way of setting yourself up for failure . Avoid making unsupported claims or over-exaggerating your accomplishments. If you’re called for an interview, the school may ask you thoroughly about the experiences that you’ve mentioned in your essay. They can also conduct background checks on your references and claims so it’s easy to get caught out in a lie. Your interviewers are likely to be experts themselves who can verify whether your experience is authentic, exaggerated, or false.

Be honest and only write about the things you have experienced . It may be tempting to embellish your personal statement to enhance your attractiveness but no experience is too small - it’s about what you get out of it. Even if you have limited practical experience in your chosen discipline, there are other ways to demonstrate your passion and motivation. Make your enthusiasm clear in your writing by expressing your desire to pursue a career in the specific field. You can talk about how your hobbies are related, the readings you have done, and how you keep up to date with current trends!

5. Focusing too much on storytelling

Many personal statements end up looking like a recount of the student’s personal life story . While some background information provides context to the personal statement, too much of it will dilute your essay’s purpose. If you’re writing for the US, be sure to stay on track and address the prompt that you’ve chosen. A well-organised structure will ensure that your personal statement remains focused. By the end of your essay, the reader should be able to take away some of your unique qualities and experiences, and understand your motivation behind pursuing your chosen discipline.

Recommended Timeline

Making consistent progress with your personal statement is vital. It guarantees ample time to organise and include all essential points, prevent errors, and thoroughly proofread.

Ideally, you want to start brainstorming at least four to six months before the deadline . This stage is meant for you to conduct an in-depth self-assessment, writing down all the points that can contribute to a compelling narrative. Before you can start writing, it's recommended to plan your essay four months before the deadline . Use visual diagrams and figure out which of the earlier points relate to one another. Here, you need to ensure that there is an overarching theme for your essay to remain focused and cohesive. Organise your key points into sections to create a logical structure for your personal statement. Once you’re done with the planning stage, aim to start writing your first draft two to four months before the due date . Focus on capturing the essence of your essay and remember to be authentic, concise, and positive. Lastly, share a copy with your trusted connections one to two months before the deadline, and proofread and make any necessary edits at least one month before! This gives you enough time to polish your essay to perfection before the final submission.

Need support with your personal statement and other aspects of applying to US and UK universities? Our experts are here to guide you through every step of the process. Contact us today for personalised assistance!

Have questions or need help? Connect with Crimson Education for expert advice and tailored support.

Key resources & further reading.

• 10 Great Common App Essay Examples From Accepted Students
• How To Answer the 2024-25 Common App Essay Prompts
• A Love Letter to My Mum: Personal Statements That Pay Tribute to Our Greatest Supporters

About the Contributor

Jamie Beaton

Jamie Beaton is the Co-founder and CEO of Crimson Education. With degrees from Harvard, Oxford, Stanford, Yale, and Tsinghua, Jamie is an educational innovator passionate about helping students reach their academic potential. He co-founded Crimson after gaining admission to 25 of the world's top universities. Under his leadership, Crimson has become the world's most successful university admissions consultancy, helping thousands gain entry into the Ivy League and other elite institutions.

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Writing a Personal Statement

Preparing to Write

Brainstorming, don't forget, sample prompts.

A personal statement is a narrative essay that connects your background, experiences, and goals to the mission, requirements, and desired outcomes of the specific opportunity you are seeking. It is a critical component in the selection process, whether the essay is for a competitive internship, a graduate fellowship, or admittance to a graduate school program. It gives the selection committee the best opportunity to get to know you, how you think and make decisions, ways in which past experiences have been significant or formative, and how you envision your future. Personal statements can be varied in form; some are given a specific prompt, while others are less structured. However, in general a personal statement should answer the following questions:

• Who are you?
• What are your goals?
• How does this specific program/opportunity help you achieve your goals?
• What is in the future?

A personal statement is not:

• A variation of your college admissions essay
• An academic/research paper
• A narrative version of your resume
• A creative writing piece (it can be creative, though)
• An essay about somebody else

Keep in mind that your statement is only a portion of the application and should be written with this in mind. Your entire application package will include some, possibly all, of the materials listed below. You will want to consider what these pieces of the application communicate about you. Your personal statement should aim to tie everything together and fill in or address any gaps. There will likely be some overlap but be sure not to be too repetitive.

• Personal Statement(s)
• Transcripts
• Letters of recommendations
• Sample of written work
• Research proposal

For a quick overview of personal statements, you might begin by watching this "5 Minute Fellowships" video!

If you are writing your first personal statement or working to improve upon an existing personal statement, the video below is a helpful, in-depth resource.

A large portion of your work towards completing a personal statement begins well before your first draft or even an outline. It is incredibly important to be sure you understand all of the rules and regulations around the statement. Things to consider before you begin writing:

• How many prompts? And what are they? It is important to know the basics so you can get your ideas in order. Some programs will require a general statement of interest and a focused supplementary or secondary statement closely aligned with the institution's goals.
• Are there formatting guidelines? Single or double spaced, margins, fonts, text sizes, etc. Our general guideline is to keep it simple.
• How do I submit my statement(s)? If uploading a document we highly suggest using a PDF as it will minimize the chances of accidental changes to formatting. Some programs may event ask you to copy and paste into a text box.
• When do I have to submit my statement(s)? Most are due at the time of application but some programs, especially medical schools, will ask for secondary statements a few months after you apply. In these instances be sure to complete them within two weeks, any longer is an indication that you aren't that interested in the institution.

Below is a second 5 Minute Fellowships video that can help you get started!

Before you start writing, take some time to reflect on your experiences and motivations as they relate to the programs to which you are applying. This will offer you a chance to organize your thoughts which will make the writing process much easier. Below are a list of questions to help you get started:

• What individuals, experiences or events have shaped your interest in this particular field?
• What has influenced your decision to apply to graduate school?
• How does this field align with your interests, strengths, and values?
• What distinguishes you from other applicants?
• What would you bring to this program/profession?
• What has prepared you for graduate study in this field? Consider your classes at Wellesley, research and work experience, including internships, summer jobs and volunteer work.
• Why are you interested in this particular institution or degree program?
• How is this program distinct from others?
• What do you hope to gain?
• What is motivating you to seek an advanced degree now?
• Where do you see yourself headed and how will this degree program help you get there?

For those applying to Medical School, if you need a committee letter for your application and are using the Medical Professions Advisory Committee you have already done a lot of heavy lifting through the 2017-2018 Applicant Information Form . Even if you aren't using MPAC the applicant information form is a great place to start.

Another great place to start is through talking out your ideas. You have a number of options both on and off campus, such as: Career Education advisors and mentors ( you can set up an appointment here ), major advisor, family, friends. If you are applying to a graduate program it is especially important to talk with a faculty member in the field. Remember to take good notes so you can refer to them later.

When you begin writing keep in mind that your essay is one of many in the application pool. This is not to say you should exaggerate your experiences to “stand out” but that you should focus on clear, concise writing. Also keep in mind that the readers are considering you not just as a potential student but a future colleague. Be sure to show them examples and experiences which demonstrate you are ready to begin their program.

It is important to remember that your personal statement will take time and energy to complete, so plan accordingly. Every application and statement should be seen as different from one another, even if they are all the same type of program. Each institution may teach you the same material but their delivery or focus will be slightly different.

In addition, remember:

• Be yourself: You aren’t good at being someone else
• Tragedy is not a requirement, reflection and depth are
• Research the institution or organization
• Proofread, proofread, proofread
• How to have your personal statement reviewed

The prompts below are from actual applications to a several types of programs. As you will notice many of them are VERY general in nature. This is why it is so important to do your research and reflect on your motivations. Although the prompts are similar in nature the resulting statements would be very different depending on the discipline and type of program, as well as your particular background and reasons for wanting to pursue this graduate degree.

• This statement should illustrate your academic background and experiences and explain why you would excel in the Department of Civil and Environmental Engineering (UMass Amherst - M.S. in Civil Engineering).
• Describe your academic and career objectives and how the Yale School of Forestry and Environmental Studies can help you achieve them. Include other considerations that explain why you seek admissions to the Yale School of Forestry and Environmental Studies and your interests in the environmental field (Yale - Master of Environmental Management).  
• Please discuss your academic interests and goals. Include your current professional and research interests, as well as your long-range professional objectives. Please be as specific as possible about how your objectives can be met at Clark and do not exceed 800 words (Clark University - M.A. in International Development and Social Change).
• Write a 500- to 700-word statement that describes your work or research. Discuss how you came to focus on the medium, body of work, or academic area you wish to pursue at the graduate level. Also discuss future directions or goals for your work, and describe how the Master of Fine Arts in Studio (Printmedia) is particularly suited to your professional goals (School of the Art Institute of Chicago - MFA in Studio, Printmaking).
• Your statement should explain why you want to study economics at the graduate level. The statement is particularly important if there is something unusual about your background and preparation that you would like us to know about you (University of Texas at Austin - Ph.D in Economics).
• Your personal goal statement is an important part of the review process for our faculty members as they consider your application. They want to know about your background, work experience, plans for graduate study and professional career, qualifications that make you a strong candidate for the program, and any other relevant information (Indiana University Bloomington - M.S.Ed. in Secondary Education).
• Your autobiographical essay/personal statement is a narrative that outlines significant experiences in your life, including childhood experiences, study and work, your strengths and aspirations in the field of architecture, and why you want to come to the University of Oregon (University of Oregon - Master of Architecture).
• Personal history and diversity statement, in which you describe how your personal background informs your decision to pursue a graduate degree. You may refer to any educational, familial, cultural, economic or social experiences, challenges, community service, outreach activities, residency and citizenship, first-generation college status, or opportunities relevant to your academic journey; how your life experiences contribute to the social, intellectual or cultural diversity within a campus community and your chosen field; or how you might serve educationally underrepresented and underserved segments of society with your graduate education (U.C. Davis - M.A. in Linguistics).
• A Personal Statement specifying your past experiences, reasons for applying, and your areas of interest. It should explain your intellectual and personal goals, why you are interested in pursuing an interdisciplinary degree rather than a more traditional disciplinary one, and how this degree fits into your intellectual and personal future (Rutgers University - Ph.D in Women’s and Gender Studies).
• Your application requires a written statement to uploaded into your application and is a critical component of your application for admission. This is your opportunity to tell us what excites you about the field of library and information science, and what problems you want to help solve in this field. Please also tell us how your prior experiences have prepared you for this next step toward your career goals and how this program will help you achieve them (University of North Carolina Chapel Hill - Master of Science in Library Science).
• After watching the video, please describe what strengths and preferences as a learner you have that will facilitate your success in this innovative curriculum. What challenges in our curriculum do you anticipate and what strategies might you use to address these challenges? (MGH Institute of Health Professions PT - They recently redesigned their curriculum)
• Your personal goal statement should briefly describe how you view the future of the field, what your goals are to be part of that future, and what brought you to pursue an advanced education degree in your chosen field. You may include any other information that you feel might be useful. (Northeastern PT)
• Personal Statement: In 500 words or less, describe a meaningful educational experience that affected your professional goals and growth and explain how it impacted you. The educational experience does not need to be related to this degree. Focus on the educational experience and not why you think you would be a good professional in this field. (Simmons PT)
• Personal Statement (500 word minimum): State your reasons for seeking admission to this program at this institution. Include your professional goals, why you want to pursue a career in this field and how admission to this program will assist you in accomplishing those goals. (Regis College Nursing)
• “Use the space provided to explain why you want to go to this type of program.” (AMCAS)
• Address the following three questions(Though there is no set limit, most statements are 1–2 pages, single-spaced.): What are your reasons for pursuing this degree? Why do you wish to pursue your degree at this institution? How do you intend to leverage your degree in a career of this field? (Boston University MPH)
• Please submit a personal statement/statement of purpose of no more than 500 words for the department/degree of choice. Professional degree essays require a clear understanding of the _______ field and how you hope to work within the field. Be sure to proofread your personal statement carefully for spelling and grammar. In your statement, be sure to address the following: what interests you in the field of _____ what interests you in a specific degree program and department at this institution and what interests you in a particular certificate (if applicable). Please also describe how you hope to use your ________ training to help you achieve your career goals. (Columbia PhD in Public Health - Epidemiology)
• Because each Home Program requires significant original research activities in fulfillment of the requirements for the degree, we are interested in obtaining as much information as possible about your previous research experiences. Those who already have such experience are in a better position to know whether they are truly interested in performing ______ research as part of a graduate program. Please include specific information about your research experience in your Statement of Purpose. You may also use the Statement to amplify your comments about your choice of Home Program(s), and how your past experiences and current interests are related to your choice. Personal Statements should not exceed two pages in length (single spaced). Make sure to set your computer to Western European or other English-language setting. We cannot guarantee the ability to access your statement if it is submitted in other fonts. (Stanford Biosciences PhD)
• Your statement of purpose should describe succinctly your reasons for applying to the Department of ____ at ___ University. It would be helpful to include what you have done to prepare for this degree program. Please describe your research interests, past research experience, future career plans and other details of your background and interests that will allow us to evaluate your ability to thrive in our program. If you have interests that align with a specific faculty member, you may state this in your application. Your statement of purpose should not exceed two pages in length (single spaced). (Stanford Bioengineering PhD)
• Statement of purpose (Up to one page or 1,000 words): Rather than a research proposal, you should provide a statement of purpose. Your statement should be written in English and explain your motivation for applying for the course at this institution and your relevant experience and education. Please provide an indication of the area of your proposed research and supervisor(s) in your statement. This will be assessed for the coherence of the statement; evidence of motivation for and understanding of the proposed area of study; the ability to present a reasoned case in English; and commitment to the subject. (Oxford Inorganic Chemistry - DPhil)

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• Successful Personal Statement For Economics & Management At Oxford

Last Updated: 22nd April 2020

Author: Adi Sen

Table of Contents

Welcome to our popular Personal Statement series where we present a successful Personal Statement, and our Oxbridge Tutors provide their feedback on it. 

Today, we are looking through an Economics and Managment applicant’s Personal Statement that helped secure a place at Oxford University. The Economics and Management Course at Oxford examines issues central to the world we live in: namely how the economy and organisations function, and how resources are allocated and coordinated to achieve the organisation’s objectives.

Read on to see how this candidate managed to navigate the many disciplines of E&M. 

Here’s a breakdown of the Personal Statement:

SUCCESSFUL?

The universities this candidate applied to were the following:

Enrolling on our Oxford Economics & Management comprehensive Programme will help you perfect your Personal Statement.

Welcome to UniAdmissions, the world’s first Oxbridge preparatory school with an Oxbridge success rate of 57% and with over 500+ UniAdmissions students placed at Oxford and Cambridge.

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Economics and Management Personal Statement

Economics is the study of now. I view it as the study of the psychology of the people who dictate our lives. The world around us is shaped by the fundamental concept of supply and demand, wants and needs, goods and services. What grips me is that everything I have studied I can apply to real life. Discussions about inflation, for example, are so applicable since its current status is active in the world of pricing; the price of a Big Mac and “Burgernomics” is something to which I can relate from my travels.

The statistical aspect of economic analysis is closely linked to my interest in Mathematics, thus I will take an Econometric route on option modules. This scientific approach to what is otherwise a field-based solely on individual theories and concepts interests me, as I find quantitative analysis much more accurate and reliable than qualitative theories. As an example, I relish analysing more Econometric models on the A-level Course: like Profit Maximisation calculations.

Despite this, Economics intertwines both Maths and Philosophy on a regular basis. I recently read an article from the Guardian by George Monbiot, which discussed the cost-benefit analysis model and whether nature could be quantified as a tangible asset, and how this would benefit neo-liberals in their perpetual quest for profit. This is just an example of how Econometric analysis does not always deliver such verisimilitude where the figures given are ambiguous. This is what is unique about Economics: there is no right answer to the question ‘Is there a right answer?’ The concept of there being methods of analysing the psychology of and nature behind the way that the interface between consumers and producers operates seems to exceed all other subjects in terms of interest.

I find it peculiar that a subject that has such a ubiquitous undercurrent in our society is so undefined and obscure; it is undoubtedly this which draws me to it. Consequently, I strive to keep up with Economics in the modern world by reading the “I” and “Guardian” newspapers, and “The Economist” magazine regularly. For wider background reading I have read Marx’s “Communist Manifesto”, Tim Hartford’s “The Undercover Economist” and “Too Big To Fail” by Andrew Ross Sorkin.

Sorkin’s book provided a gripping, in-depth insight into the world of investment banking and entrepreneurship – I finished the book in a matter of days. His book has inspired me to enter the investment sector. Upon graduation I would like to become an investment banker or negotiator, hence I am in the process of trying to arrange some work experience with the London Metal Exchange.

I completed a programme of work experience with Linden Homes this summer, through the Career Academy Programme on which I am enrolled. It was a six-week internship during which I gained a firm understanding of a construction company’s place within the national economy. I enjoyed spending valuable time in a variety of departments within the firm. I also have work experience planned in Belgium in 2013.

Additionally, I participate in a multitude of extracurricular activities. My team and I finished second in the national UMPH Business Competition; in Year 11 my team set the school record for the Enterprise Day Challenge and for three consecutive years my team won the Grimsby Inter-School Quiz without loss. Furthermore, I am part of both the Franklin College Debating Team and the weekly “Blue Sky Club”, where students meet to discuss current affairs.

Recently, a particular subject of interest has been the US election. We frequently discuss the debates and the candidates, covering subjects like their political viewpoints and how it will affect both our lives and those of the American public – plus the potential Economic ramifications of the possible outcomes. With a genuine zeal for the subject and an ability to relate my studies to the real world, I am convinced that I will thoroughly thrive at degree level Economics.

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Good Points Of The Personal Statement

The student gives a good insight into their academic interests and what’s inspired them to develop over time. They also demonstrate a passion for the subject, not only by stating their interest in it but by further explaining what interests them and why they would make a good candidate to study it at university. The student is already accomplished and explains well what they’ve gained from their various extra-curricular activities.

Bad Points Of The Personal Statement

The writing is weak and, at points, unnatural. The forced interjections of examples and unusual adjectives make it read like a student attempting to write a formal and formulaic exam essay. They would do better to write in their usual style, even if it is somewhat informal; this will allow them to better express themselves and they will come across as more interesting to those reading it. More importantly than this, however, at times, the student fails to keep up their otherwise good level of detail, and the writing becomes list-like.

This is particularly prominent when they discuss books they’ve read to develop their understanding of economics. Although they expand on one of these, they do so in little detail. Interviewers are unlikely to be impressed by simply mentioning that you’ve read a book – any student applying for degree-level economics is able to read The Communist Manifesto, for instance – but they will be impressed by your response to it and what you gained from the experience of reading it. Unless you expand on these details, a list of books you’ve read does nothing to contribute to the statement.

UniAdmissions Overall Score:

This statement is strong, except where it discusses academic work. The detail here was likely sacrificed in favour of expanding further on their extra-curricular activities and their particular areas of interest. However, they have limited discussion of their study of various classic economic works so severely that it fails to add anything to the piece. The statement would, therefore, benefit from a more balanced approach to the various areas of the student’s life.

We give this Economics Personal Statement a 4/5 as they have clearly projected their passion for the subject onto paper – the most important part of a strong Personal Statement – albeit this was at the cost of other factors that should have been covered in more depth.

And there we have it – an Oxford E&M Personal Statement with feedback from our expert tutors. 

Remember, at Oxford, the Admissions Tutors are often the people who will be teaching you for the next few years, so you need to appeal directly to them.

Our Free Personal Statement Resources page is filled with even more successful personal statements and expert guides.

Our expert tutors are on hand to help you craft the perfect Personal Statement for your Oxford E&M application.

With our  Oxbridge Economics Premium Programme we help you craft the perfect Personal   Statement , achieve a highly competitive TSA score and teach you how to  Interview effectively.

Discover our  Oxbridge Economics Premium Programme  by  clicking the button below to  enrol and triple your chances of success.

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• Chemistry personal statements

Biochemistry degree personal statement example (1d) Oxford offer

In the sciences, every answer raises a new question. The field is one of infinite possibility and this is what most attracts me to it. Studying biochemistry would allow me to understand in detail the complexity of life and how different systems within it interact. To me, it explains the beauty of life, how it can be broken down into various chemical reactions and by studying the chemical composition and structure of separate biological molecules, I hope to gain a more cohesive understanding of life.

I was fortunate to arrange work experience at the Wellcome Trust Centre for Human Genetics. I was able to observe and take part in practical tasks such as running a PCR and to learn the importance of meticulous experimental design and analysis of data. I was encouraged to ask questions of the researchers in the laboratory: their commitment and patient determination were infectious. A subsequent visit to a chemistry lab at the University of Oxford confirmed for me that this is the kind of work that I want to be doing.

Being naturally inquisitive, when my chemistry teacher mentioned that amino acids in the body are exclusively left-handed, I set out to learn why. After extensive research I was excited to discover that it has not yet been definitively answered. I was particularly interested to learn that the left-handedness challenges evolutionary theory and felt compelled to explore further. I was surprised by the ambiguity surrounding abiogenesis: the more I discovered, the more unanswered questions I found. By reflecting on this I learnt the exciting consequence of asking a good question -- it leads to another.

This experience (and an article in Scientific American magazine) inspired me to design an experiment with a group of friends for the school science fair in which we found out how and why illusions affect different people to varying degrees and whether those variations are attributable to a person’s genetic makeup or to their environment. This led me to Matt Ridley’s ‘Nature via Nurture,’ which shed much light on the subject, and introduced me to the idea that nature and nurture are not opposing factors but, rather, interactive. It explained concepts such as alternative splicing, revealing how the same genes can encode multiple proteins and so can account for life’s complexity. I feel that the idea needs to be explored further, and the mechanisms of the interactions studied more closely. I am excited by the possibility that this could lead to a better understanding of the nature of personality, which in turn may help us to understand and treat its disorders.

I have also enjoyed the challenge of mathematics, particularly the difficulty of abstract reasoning and logical problem-solving, both relevant for much of my work in chemistry. I strongly believe in the importance of sharing ideas to progress, so aspire to build upon my language base by spending my gap year in Syria learning Arabic as well as taking one year Open University course in Mandarin Chinese. Furthermore, studying piano and flute for many years has undoubtedly required self-discipline, patience and perseverance. Participating in the Peer Support program at school has contributed a lot to my interpersonal skills and confidence, particularly helping me improve my clarity of expression.

Biochemistry combines the best of what I have found most challenging and rewarding in the different subjects I have studied. I am certain that it is what I want to specialise in and am confident that my curiosity and determination will help me do so.

Universities Applied to:

• Oxford University (Biochemistry) - Offer (AAAa) Firm
• Cardiff University (Biochemistry - biomedical route) - Offer (ABB) Insurance
• Imperial College London (Biochemistry with French) - Offer (AAAb) Rejected
• Nottingham University (Biochemistry) - Offer (AAB) Rejected
• Bath University (Biochemistry) - Offer (AAB) Rejected

Grades Achieved:

• Chemistry (A2) - A
• Biology (AS) - A
• Maths (A2) - A
• French (A2) - A
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