personal communication experience essay

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My journey of writing – exploring my thoughts, discovering my voice, and reflecting on my experiences.

Throughout the vast tapestry of life, there exist moments of immense clarity, when the melody of purpose resounds within the chambers of one’s soul. For me, one such moment arrived like a gentle gust on a breezy autumn day – an epiphany that set ablaze the embers of my heart and ignited an unquenchable passion for the written word. In this introspective narrative, I invite you to join me as I traverse the labyrinthine corridors of my past, retracing the footsteps that led me to discover the extraordinary joy and fulfillment that comes with the art of writing.

In the memories of my childhood, ink-stained fingertips and dog-eared pages became the guardians of my imagination. At a tender age, I found solace between the lines of countless volumes, embarking on literary adventures that transported me to magical realms and introduced me to heroes and heroines whose triumphs and tragedies resonated deeply within my impressionable mind. Words became my labyrinth, and each sentence, a stepping stone leading to infinite possibilities. With each turn of the page, I discovered the transformative power of the written word – the ability to conjure worlds beyond reality and fashion intricate tapestries of emotion.

As I navigated the uncharted seas of adolescence, the written word evolved from a mere source of wonder to a vessel for self-expression. The allure of poetry, with its rhythmic cadence and lyrical form, beckoned me to illuminate the innermost recesses of my being. In the communion between pen and paper, I discovered a sacred space wherein my thoughts transcended the confines of language, flowing freely like a serene river on a moonlit night. The boundless potential of writing became my sanctuary, a realm where I could forge my identity and give voice to the untold stories that resided within my heart.

My Journey to Discovering My Passion for Writing

Throughout my life, I have embarked on a remarkable expedition towards finding my true calling as a writer. It has been a compelling odyssey filled with self-discovery, creative exploration, and an unwavering pursuit of storytelling.

From a young age, I found solace in the written word. I would often find myself lost in the pages of books, captivated by the vivid imagery and powerful emotions that words could evoke. As I delved deeper into literature, I began to recognize the profound impact that written stories had on people’s lives. They had the ability to transport us to different worlds, ignite our imaginations, and provoke thought. This realization sparked a flame within me, igniting my initial curiosity and setting me on a path of literary exploration.

As I continued my journey, I started to experiment with writing myself. At first, it was just a creative outlet, a way to express myself and capture my thoughts and experiences on paper. But as I honed my skills, I discovered the immense power of storytelling. Through my writing, I could connect with others on a deeper level, sharing my unique perspectives and sparking meaningful conversations. It was in these moments of connection that I truly felt alive, as if I had found my purpose.

Over time, writing became not just a hobby, but an integral part of my identity. It allowed me to explore different genres, styles, and voices, always pushing the boundaries of my creativity. Through the ups and downs, the moments of inspiration and the dreaded writer’s block, I persevered, driven by an insatiable passion to refine my craft and make a meaningful impact through my words.

My journey to discovering my passion for writing has been a winding road, full of twists and turns, surprises and revelations. It has taught me about the power of words and the importance of storytelling in shaping our world. It has shown me that writing is not just a means of communication, but a way to connect with others, to inspire, to challenge, and to leave a lasting legacy. And as I continue on this extraordinary journey, I am excited to see where it will take me and the stories I have yet to tell.

Uncovering my love for storytelling

Exploring the depths of my creativity led me on a quest to uncover my innate love for storytelling. In the depths of my soul, I discovered a burning desire to weave words together to create narratives that captivate and inspire. This newfound passion for storytelling has allowed me to express myself in a unique and profound way.

As I delved into the world of storytelling, I realized that it is so much more than just the act of writing. It is a form of art that combines imagination, emotion, and the power of words. Storytelling has the ability to transport readers to different worlds, evoke deep emotions, and provoke thought. It is a medium through which I can share my perspectives, experiences, and insights with others.

Through storytelling, I have discovered the art of crafting characters that come to life on the page. Each character has their own unique voice, experiences, and desires, allowing them to connect with readers on a personal level. It is through these characters that I can explore different perspectives, challenge societal norms, and delve into the human condition.

Storytelling also allows me to create worlds that exist only in my imagination. These worlds can be fantastical or grounded in reality, but they all serve as a canvas for my creative expression. Through vivid descriptions and rich imagery, I can transport readers to these worlds, allowing them to experience the magic and wonder that I have created.

Furthermore, storytelling has the power to inspire and motivate. By sharing personal experiences and lessons learned, I can offer guidance and support to readers who may be going through similar struggles. Through stories of triumph, resilience, and personal growth, I aspire to make a positive impact on the lives of others.

Overall, uncovering my love for storytelling has been a transformative journey. It has opened up a world of possibilities and allowed me to express my creativity in a way that is both fulfilling and meaningful. Through storytelling, I have found my voice, my passion, and my purpose. It is a constant source of inspiration and a medium through which I can touch the hearts and minds of others.

Exploring different forms of expression

Embarking on the journey of discovering my creative outlet led me to a multitude of diverse forms of expression. Engaging in various modes of communication allowed me to explore different facets of my inner self and unearth hidden talents. Through experimenting with writing, painting, and music, I discovered the power of artistic expression to convey emotions, ideas, and experiences in unique and captivating ways.

Writing became my go-to means of expressing my thoughts, opinions, and personal experiences. The written word allowed me to dive deep into my emotions, crafting a narrative that intertwined my inner world with the outer reality. It offered an outlet for self-reflection, catharsis, and self-discovery. Whether it was penning poems, composing stories, or simply journaling, writing became a medium through which I could capture the essence of my being.

Painting provided me with a visual language to communicate my perceptions and insights. The act of mixing colors, applying brushstrokes, and creating shapes on a canvas allowed me to translate my emotions and thoughts into a tangible form. With every stroke of a brush, I could convey my admiration for nature, depict personal memories, or express my inner turmoil. Painting gave me the freedom to unleash my imagination and explore the limitless possibilities of visual expression.

Music offered a unique avenue for channeling my emotions and connecting with others on a profound level. Whether it was playing an instrument, composing melodies, or immersing myself in the melodies of others, music became a universal language through which I could share my deepest joys and sorrows. The harmonies and rhythms acted as conduits for emotional release and provided solace in times of turmoil. The sheer power of music allowed me to express complex feelings that words often failed to capture.

Exploring these different forms of expression not only enhanced my self-understanding but also awakened a fervent desire to continue seeking and experimenting with new ways of conveying my thoughts and emotions. Each brushstroke, word written, or note played has become an opportunity to delve into the core of my being and communicate with the world around me in meaningful and impactful ways.

Overcoming self-doubt and embracing my voice

As I embarked on my journey of writing, I encountered numerous challenges that tested my confidence and belief in my abilities. Self-doubt became a constant companion, whispering in my ear, questioning my talent and worth as a writer. However, through perseverance, reflection, and the support of others, I was able to overcome these doubts and fully embrace my unique voice.

At the beginning of my writing journey, I often found myself doubting my capabilities. The fear of failure and criticism weighed heavily on my mind, causing me to question whether my words and ideas were worthy of being shared. I constantly compared myself to other writers and wondered if I could ever measure up to their level of skill and success. These doubts threatened to extinguish my passion before it had a chance to flourish.

However, I soon realized that self-doubt is not a sign of weakness, but rather a challenge to be overcome. I began to confront my insecurities head-on, acknowledging that every writer has their own unique journey and that comparison is the thief of joy. I sought solace in the words of renowned authors who had experienced similar doubts and yet achieved greatness despite them. Their stories inspired me to keep pushing forward, to trust in my own voice and vision.

The turning point came when I started to share my work with others and received positive feedback and encouragement. The support of friends, family, and fellow writers became a lifeline, buoying my spirits and reinforcing my belief in myself. They saw value in my words and helped me recognize the strength of my voice. This newfound validation gave me the confidence to continue writing and honing my craft.

I also embarked on a journey of self-discovery, exploring different genres, styles, and themes. I allowed myself to experiment and make mistakes, realizing that growth and improvement come through trial and error. Each piece I wrote became a stepping stone towards finding my unique voice and artistic expression. I learned to embrace vulnerability and authenticity in my writing, understanding that it is through these qualities that connection and resonance are forged.

Today, self-doubt still occasionally creeps in, but I have learned to face it head-on with a renewed sense of confidence and self-belief. I have come to understand that writing is a journey of self-discovery, constantly evolving and unfolding. By overcoming self-doubt and embracing my voice, I have opened up a world of creativity and fulfillment, allowing my passion for writing to truly soar.

Finding solace and therapy through writing

Writing has provided me a sanctuary, a form of escape, and a way to process my thoughts and emotions. In the world of words, I have found solace and therapy, allowing me to express myself in ways that no other medium can.

During times of turmoil and uncertainty, when life seems overwhelming, I turn to writing as a means of catharsis. Through the act of putting pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, I am able to release pent-up feelings and emotions. It is a therapeutic process that allows me to confront and address my innermost thoughts and fears.

Not only does writing offer emotional relief, but it also provides me with a sense of clarity. Often, when I am mired in confusion or facing a difficult decision, the act of writing helps to organize my thoughts and bring order to chaos. Through the exploration of words and ideas, I am able to gain a deeper understanding of myself and the world around me.

Moreover, writing offers me a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. When I am able to capture a moment, express an idea, or craft a compelling narrative, I experience a sense of pride and satisfaction. It is a form of self-expression that allows me to share my stories and perspectives with others.

In conclusion, writing has become my solace, my therapy, and my means of artistic expression. Through this medium, I am able to find emotional release, gain clarity, and experience a sense of accomplishment. Writing has truly become a vital part of my life, offering me a sense of comfort and fulfillment that I have not found in any other pursuit.

The power of words: how writing can impact others

Writing has the remarkable ability to shape our thoughts, inspire our emotions, and influence our actions. Words hold the power to connect people from different cultures, beliefs, and experiences. They have the potential to break barriers, challenge norms, and create a lasting impact on individuals. Writing allows us to express ourselves, share our stories, and create a sense of understanding and empathy among readers.

Through the art of writing, we can convey our deepest emotions, dreams, and fears. We can paint vivid pictures with words, transporting readers to far-off lands, or capturing a moment of pure joy. It is through the careful arrangement of words that we can convey the depth of human experience, tapping into universal truths that resonate with readers on a profound level.

Writing has the power to spark change, whether it be on a personal or societal level. Activists use written words to shed light on social injustices, giving a voice to those who are marginalized. Personal stories of triumph and resilience can inspire and motivate others to overcome their own obstacles. Writing, in all its forms, has the ability to challenge our perspectives, provoke thoughtful discussions, and ignite a passion for positive change.

Furthermore, writing allows us to preserve our history and culture. Through the written word, we can document our traditions, beliefs, and values for future generations to discover and appreciate. Stories and narratives passed down through generations can communicate the essence of who we are and where we come from, providing a sense of identity and belonging.

In conclusion, the power of words should not be underestimated. Writing has the potential to touch hearts, open minds, and transform lives. It bridges the gap between individuals, cultures, and experiences, creating connections that can last a lifetime. So let us embrace the power of our words and use them to inspire, inform, and ignite change in the world.

Fueling my creativity and personal growth through writing

Embarking on a journey of self-expression and exploration, I discovered that writing has become a powerful catalyst for my creativity and personal growth. As I delve into the realm of words, I find myself constantly captivated by the endless possibilities and the unique power each sentence holds to ignite my imagination.

Writing serves as a channel for my thoughts and emotions, allowing me to delve deep within myself and dive into the realm of self-reflection. In the process, it opens doors to new perspectives and insights, revealing the intricacies of my own identity and enhancing my understanding of the world around me.

Through writing, I have discovered that my thoughts are not confined to the limitations of my own mind. The act of putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) allows me to transcend the boundaries of my own thinking and explore new horizons. Whether through storytelling, poetry, or personal narratives, I can communicate my ideas and experiences in a way that resonates with others and sparks meaningful connections.

Moreover, writing has become a means of personal growth, as it encourages me to continually challenge myself and seek improvement. Each sentence I write is an opportunity to refine my craft, to experiment with different styles and techniques, and to push the boundaries of my own creativity. In this process of constant learning and growth, writing becomes not only a source of self-expression but also a vehicle for self-discovery.

As I continue to explore the possibilities of writing, I am constantly amazed by its transformative power. It fuels my creativity, allowing me to express myself in unique and profound ways. It nurtures my personal growth, pushing me to challenge my own limitations and evolve into a better version of myself. Through writing, I have found a passion that not only enriches my life but also connects me to others in a profound and meaningful way.

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• Citing personal communications in APA Style

Personal Communications in APA Style | Format & Examples

Published on November 6, 2020 by Jack Caulfield . Revised on December 27, 2023.

In APA Style, a personal communication is any source that is not accessible to your readers. Personal communications are cited in the text, but not included in the reference list .

Table of contents

What is a personal communication, how to cite personal communications, quoting your research participants, frequently asked questions about personal communications.

A personal communication is any source you refer to that the reader will not be able to access—either because it was not recorded, is deliberately kept private for reasons of confidentiality, or is accessible only to a specific group (e.g. members of a particular institution or online community).

Because the reader cannot look up these sources independently, APA Style states that it is not appropriate to include them in a reference list . The point of a reference list is to allow the reader to find your sources, so inaccessible sources do not belong there.

Some common examples of sources that should be treated as personal communications include:

• Private conversations, emails, letters and messages
• Private social media content
• Unrecorded performances and speeches

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When citing a personal communication in your text, you only need to give the person’s initials and last name, the words “personal communication,” and the date of the communication in parentheses:

If it’s relevant or important to the reader’s understanding, you can specify the type of communication involved:

Private messages on social media are always personal communications. Other social media content should also be cited as personal communication if it is not public – that is, if it can only be accessed by members of a specific group or friends of a specific user:

Quotes from your research participants, such as interviewees and survey respondents, are treated slightly differently from personal communications.

You don’t need to include a citation when quoting your research participants, but the transcript or responses you’re quoting from should usually be included in an appendix . Just refer to this appendix the first time you quote from it, e.g. “(See Appendix A).”

Research participants are often anonymized for reasons of confidentiality. There are several ways of handling this. Where it is not important to distinguish participants from each other, you can simply refer to them without any specific attribution:

Where more detail is appropriate, you might want to distinguish participants by personal characteristics like age, profession, or gender:

Where it’s important to be able to refer to specific participants, you can use false names (as long as you clarify somewhere that this is what you’re doing) or numerical/alphabetical labels:

To cite a public post from social media , use the first 20 words of the post as a title, include the date it was posted and a URL, and mention the author’s username if they have one:

Dorsey, J. [@jack]. (2018, March 1). We’re committing Twitter to help increase the collective health, openness, and civility of public conversation, and to hold ourselves publicly [Tweet]. Twitter. https://twitter.com/jack/status/969234275420655616

To cite content from social media that is not publicly accessible (e.g. direct messages, posts from private groups or user profiles), cite it as a personal communication in the text, but do not include it in the reference list :

When contacted online, the minister stated that the project was proceeding “according to plan” (R. James, Twitter direct message, March 25, 2017).

Interviews you conducted yourself are not included in your reference list , but instead cited in the text as personal communications .

Published or recorded interviews are included in the reference list. Cite them in the usual format of the source type (for example, a newspaper article , website or YouTube video ).

In APA Style , all sources that are not retrievable for the reader are cited as personal communications . In other words, if your source is private or inaccessible to the audience of your paper , it’s a personal communication.

Common examples include conversations, emails, messages, letters, and unrecorded interviews or performances.

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Personal Communications

Works that cannot be recovered by readers are cited in the text as personal communications. Personal communications include emails, text messages, online chats or direct messages, personal interviews, telephone conversations, live speeches, nonarchived social media livestreams (e.g., Instagram Live, Twitter Spaces), unrecorded webinars, unrecorded classroom lectures, memos, letters, messages from nonarchived discussion groups or online bulletin boards, and so on.

Use a personal communication citation only when a recoverable source is not available. For example, if you learned about a topic via a classroom lecture, it would be preferable to cite the research on which the instructor based the lecture. However, if the lecture contained original content not published elsewhere, cite the lecture as a personal communication.

When communications are recoverable only in an archive (e.g., a presidential library), cite them as archival materials . Likewise, if a live social media event was recorded and is now available on another platform (e.g., an Instagram Live video recorded and saved to a public YouTube video), use the corresponding template to create the reference (e.g., create a YouTube reference for the Instagram Live video available on YouTube).

Do not use a personal communication citation for quotes or information from participants whom you interviewed as part of your own original research; instead, quote those participants directly.

Personal communications are covered in the seventh edition APA Style manuals in the Publication Manual Section 8.9 and the Concise Guide Section 8.9

Citing personal communications in the text

Because readers cannot retrieve the information in personal communications, personal communications are not included in the reference list; they are cited in the text only. Give the initial(s) and surname of the communicator, and provide as exact a date as possible, using the following formats:

Narrative citation: E.-M. Paradis (personal communication, August 8, 2019)

Parenthetical citation: (T. Nguyen, personal communication, February 24, 2020)

Citing information from Traditional Knowledge or Oral Traditions of Indigenous Peoples

The manner of citing Traditional Knowledge or Oral Traditions (other terms are “Traditional Stories” and “Oral Histories”) of Indigenous Peoples varies depending on whether and how the information has been recorded—only certain cases use a variation of the personal communication citation.

• If the information has been recorded and is recoverable by readers (e.g., video, audio, interview transcript, book, article), cite it in the text and include a reference list entry in the correct format for that type of source (e.g., a recording on YouTube ).
• Also maintain the integrity of Indigenous perspectives. Examine published works carefully (especially older works) to ensure that the information about Indigenous Peoples is accurate and appropriate to share before citing those works. For example, some stories are told only at certain times of year or by certain people and may not be appropriate to cite and share in a paper.

To describe Traditional Knowledge or Oral Traditions that are not recorded (and therefore are not recoverable by readers), provide as much detail in the in-text citation as is necessary to describe the content and to contextualize the origin of the information. For example, if you spoke with an Indigenous person directly to learn information (but they were not a research participant), use a variation of the personal communication citation.

• Provide the person’s full name and the nation or specific Indigenous group to which they belong, as well as their location or other details about them as relevant, followed by the words “personal communication,” and the date of the communication.
• Provide an exact date of correspondence if available; if correspondence took place over a period of time, provide a more general date or a range of dates. The date refers to when you consulted with the person, not to when the information originated.
• Ensure that the person agrees to have their name included in your paper and confirms the accuracy and appropriateness of the information you present.
• Because there is no recoverable source, a reference list entry is not used.

The following example illustrates how to incorporate these details into a variation of the personal communication citation. You might include more information or different information depending on the context of your work.

We spoke with Anna Grant (Haida Nation, lives in Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, personal communication, April 2019) about traditional understandings of the world by First Nations Peoples in Canada. She described . . .

Also capitalize most terms related to Indigenous Peoples. These include names of specific groups (e.g., Cherokee, Cree, Ojibwe) and words related to Indigenous culture (e.g., Creation, the Creator, Elder, Oral Tradition, Traditional Knowledge, Vision Quest). The capitalization is intentional and demonstrates respect for Indigenous perspectives.

For more on citing information from Indigenous Peoples, including how to incorporate quotations from Indigenous research participants and how to share your own experiences if you are an Indigenous person, see Section 8.9 of the Publication Manual .

For more insights into creating works about Indigenous Peoples, also consult the following valuable resources by Indigenous writers and publishers. The APA Style team used these works as the foundation for the guidance in the Publication Manual .

International Journal of Indigenous Health. (n.d.). Defining Aboriginal Peoples within Canada . https://journals.uvic.ca/journalinfo/ijih/IJIHDefiningIndigenousPeoplesWithinCanada.pdf

Younging, G. (2018). Elements of Indigenous style: A guide for writing by and about Indigenous Peoples . Brush Education.

Writing About Personal Experiences

Table of contents, introduction, what does it mean to write about personal experiences, what does it involve to write about your personal experiences, structure of an essay about your personal experiences, the process of writing about personal experiences, 1. preparation:.

b. Selecting a Personal Experience:

2. Drafting:

c. Climax or Turning Point:

3. Revising, Editing, and Final Draft:

General tips for writing the perfect narrative of your personal experience, topics about personal experience narrative, sample personal experience narrative.

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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Introduction

Personal communication is any source that cannot be recovered by a reader. This type of sources includes email, text messages, interviews, phone or in-person conversations, live speeches or webinars, messages on non-archived discussion boards or online bulletin boards, personal voicemail, unrecorded or live course lectures, social media limited to "Friends" only or restricted, and other sources that are similar in nature. 

Personal communication can also be sources that have not been formally published or sources that are available only to a certain population (e.g., resources available to employees in a company's intranet, training documents, etc.). In cases like these, be sure to consider the audience. If the document will be formally published to the general public, then these items should be treated as personal communication. On the other hand, if the document will have an audience who has access to items, then these may be referenced as discussed in Section 8.8 on page 259 of the APA Manual, 7th edition.

Personal Communication

Examples .

Examples of personal communication include conversations, email, text messages, online chats or direct messages, personal interviews, telephone conversations, live speeches, unrecorded course lectures, memos, letters, messages from non-archived discussion groups or online bulletin boards, social media shared with "Friends" only, etc.   

Personal Communication Explanation

Because personal communication cannot be recovered, only cite personal communication within the text of the paper. Do not include a reference within the reference list. Only include references in the reference list for sources that can be found or located by the reader. To cite personal communication, list the initials and last name of the communicator, the words "personal communication," and as exact a date as possible.   

Citation Examples

Parenthetical citation example:.

(G. Christner, personal communication, January 12, 2020)

Narrative Citation Example:  

G. Christner (personal communication, January 12, 2020) stressed .....  

More Information

For more information about personal communication, see Section 8.9 on pages 260-261 of the APA Manual, 7th edition. 

Type of Interviews

What type of interview is it, and how do I reference it?

APA recognizes that interviews can be classified into 3 broad categories. 

• Published Interviews - this type of interview is published in print (e.g., magazine, journal, newspaper), heard on radio or podcasts, or found in video (e.g., YouTube, DVD). In these cases, the source that published the interview can be easily tracked down; therefore, create a reference based on the source that published the interview using the examples in Chapter 10 of the APA Manual, 7th edition.
• Personal Interviews - this type of interview is conducted to find out specific information for a paper or project. The interview may be an email, phone conversation, or in person. In these cases, the interview cannot be recovered by the reader; therefore, the interview should be cited as personal communication.
• Research Participant Interviews - this type of interview occurs during the course of a study and is part of the methodology of the study. The interviews may be an individual interview, a focus group, or a group interview. In these cases, you will be sharing the findings in your research paper; however, do not cite the information. APA points out that you cite your own work in the paper in which it is first being shared or reported. Instead, follow the guidelines in Section 8.36 on page 278 of the APA Manual.   

Additional Resources

Quotation from Research Participants - Created by APA - provides guidance on quotes from research participants.  

For more information about interviews, see Section 8.7 on page 259 of the APA Manual, 7th edition.

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Personal Experience of Communication and Negotiation Essay

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Introduction

Reference list.

Proper communication skills have always been recognized as a vital tool in everyday life. Of more importance is the need to understand the personality of the person one is communicating with as this makes the communicator decide on the best form of communication to use. The personality type can work for the success or failure of a communication process and the importance of personality is evident as it is used to gauge the effectiveness of a negotiator who is expected to understand the personality of the person that he is negotiating with in order to sustain a long-term or successful negotiation. Successful companies and institutions use negotiation as a device for keeping their prices competitive, lowering expenses, making sales and maximizing their profit margins. Such firms use the negotiating process to find the best deals with their clients and suppliers and in other services such as advertising and transportation. Communication is the single most important aspect of a negotiation process, and the personality of the two parties is a major factor in determining the direction that the negotiation takes. A negotiator can therefore use his personality to add dimension to the message delivery thus making the process come out as sincere.

The aim of the paper is to analyze the roles of communication and negotiation in the success or failure of a negotiation process that I had participated in earlier. Personality affects the type of communication in that it makes interpretation of the message to be biased.

Description of a Negotiation Situation

During the last holidays, I had the chance of participating in a negotiation process when my parents told me told to sell the family car as they were planning to buy another one but were short of money. I was supposed to find a buyer then negotiate with him on the buying price in a period of three weeks. I placed an advertisement in the local newspaper three days later and immediately received calls from willing buyers who wanted to make inquiries on the buying price and the details of the car. After receiving calls from numerous people, I settled on four buyers, three men and a lady, who appeared serious from their conversation and their offers were close to that projected by my parents. I agreed to meet them on different days of the week, one per day. The first two men I met had good offers but first required that the interiors and the tires be replaced, which I found rather expensive and would lead to selling the car at a loss had I done as they requested.

My third negotiation was with the lady buyer, the experience was extremely better than the first two; she had an offer that was 10 percent above my target price and made no demands on the refurbishment of the car. Her request was that the terms of payment be of a hire-purchase type, she was willing to pay half of the total cost on cash basis and the rest in installments over a six-month period. After negotiations, she adjusted her down-payment to 70 percent. I promised to call her after two days as I needed to discuss this with my parents. The last negotiation was with a buyer who wanted a trade-in and complete the transaction by paying 40 percent of the amount we agreed on. We agreed to pay him a visit and view the car he wanted to trade in the following day. We visited the buyer who wanted a trade-in and inspected the car which looked new but rather small. It had a passenger limit of four while my parents wanted a five-seater car, so we rejected his offer and opted for the lady’s offer. We further negotiated the deal and finally agreed on a 75 percent down payment, the balance payable in four months. We delivered the car a week later after receiving the down payment.

Communications in Negotiations

Considering the fundamentals, negotiation is a type of interpersonal communication. Communication types, both verbal and non-verbal, are vital to realizing negotiation goals and in the resolution of conflict (Barry et al, 2006). Negotiations can take place in different platforms, and each platform requires the application of a variety of communication skills. When negotiating for the sale of our car, I decided that the most suitable form of communication would be face-to-face, as it would allow the buyers to have a chance of viewing the car. This form of communication benefitted both the potential buyers and me; the buyers had a chance of inspecting the various parts of the car, as this would have not been possible through a phone. I also benefitted from this communication form as I had a protracted chat with the buyers, exploring other avenues like trade-ins and hire-purchase-type transactions. Such long negotiations would have not been possible through the phone, which should be brief and straight to the point. Communicating through the phone would have taken away the ability to negotiate for better deals by both parties, besides, the willingness of a buyer to travel and view the car showed how serious they were about making the purchase. I applied my communication skills and eventually managed to realize a breakthrough in the process.

Personality in Negotiations

Personality greatly affects the outcome of a negotiation process. Before beginning a negotiation, it is worth noting that all of us have different personalities and these must be accommodated during the process. During the negotiation process, I studied the personality of the buyers and this led to the success of the car sale. A study of the personality of the customers entailed taking note of their behavior and character traits, for example, from my conversation with the lady, I learned that the initial 50 percent offer she made could be adjusted to a higher value. This was justified when she increased it to 70 and finally to 75 percent. Understanding and appreciating one another’s personalities helps avoid conflict during a negotiation, knowledge of the personality of the buyers also helped me decide on whether to terminate or continue with the negotiation. I realized that the first two buyers were not serious about making the purchase and decided to end the negotiation prematurely.

A combination of proper communication skills and knowledge of the personality helps in the successful completion of a negotiation process. Knowledge of one’s personality is also important as it helps one to decide on the best way to deliver messages (Lee, 2007). In order to have a successful negotiation, key messages must be delivered with utmost sincerity by both parties.

• Barry, B., Lewicki, R., & Sanders, D. (2006). Negotiation. New York: McGraw-Hill Irwin.
• Lee, C. (2007), In Negotiations Personality Matters . Web.
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IvyPanda. (2021, December 28). Personal Experience of Communication and Negotiation. https://ivypanda.com/essays/personal-experience-of-communication-and-negotiation/

"Personal Experience of Communication and Negotiation." IvyPanda , 28 Dec. 2021, ivypanda.com/essays/personal-experience-of-communication-and-negotiation/.

IvyPanda . (2021) 'Personal Experience of Communication and Negotiation'. 28 December.

IvyPanda . 2021. "Personal Experience of Communication and Negotiation." December 28, 2021. https://ivypanda.com/essays/personal-experience-of-communication-and-negotiation/.

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Citations: Personal Communication

Personal communications may include private letters, memos, some electronic communications (like e-mails), personal interviews, and telephone conversations. Participant interviews in a doctoral capstone study, however, are treated differently from personal communication. For more information on citing interview transcript excerpts, see this APA blog post or the dissertation or doctoral study guidebooks on Walden’s student publications site . The defining characteristic of a personal communication is that it does not provide recoverable data. For example, when you are conducting a personal interview, the reader would never be able to access a transcript of that interview.

When you are citing a personal communication in text, APA asks that you always use the source's first initial and full last name, like this: J. Smith, K. Cho, or N. Ramachandran.

Even though this person might be a friend or someone you know personally, APA still requires you to use the person's first initial and full last name. This rule applies to every instance where you use the source's name in your paper.

Citing Your Personal Communication

In a parenthetical citation, use the words "personal communication" and the exact date that the personal communication occurred. Here is an example of a parenthetical citation of a personal communication:

Fruity candy is much better than chocolate (J. Smith, personal communication, October 10, 2010).

When referencing the source of your personal communication in text, however, you do not need to include the source's name in the parenthetical citation. Here is an example of an in text citation:

J. Smith proudly stated that fruity candy is much better than chocolate (personal communication, October 10, 2010).

Although you are required to cite personal communications whenever you are referencing information from that source, personal communications should not be included in your references list. Instead, when you cite a personal communication, the exact date of when this personal communication occurred is sufficient information for the reader.

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APA Citation Guide (7th Edition): Personal Communications

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What Is Personal Communications?

Works that cannot be retrieved by readers are cited in the text as personal communications . Personal communications include emails, personal interviews, phone conversations, text messages, online chats, live speeches, class lecture notes, letters, etc.

In-Text Citation or Reference List?

You do not include personal communications in your reference list; instead, parenthetically cite the communicator's name, the phrase "personal communication," and the date of the communication in your main text only.

Sometimes you may find interviews with people in journals, magazines, newspapers, websites etc. In those cases, don't use the "Personal Communications" category. Instead cite them according to how you found the information. For example, an interview in a magazine would be cited like a magazine article. That way anyone reading your assignment could easily track down the interview for themselves by finding the same magazine article.

Personal Communications in the Text

Parenthetically cite the communicator's name, the phrase "personal communication," and the date of the communication in your main text.

Note : Personal communications are cited within the text of your assignment, but do not get an entry in the Reference list. Put the citation right after a quote or paraphrased content.

"Infections are often contracted while patients are recovering in the hospital" (J. D. Black, personal communication, May 30, 2013).

J.D. Black explained that "infections are often contracted while patients are recovering in the hospital" (personal communication, May 30, 2013).

Note : If the name of the communicator is mentioned in the sentence leading into the quote or paraphrased content, you do not need to repeat it in the in-text citation.

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Personal Experiences Of Intercultural Communication: Opinion Essay

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• Gutek, GL 1994, A History of the Western Educational Experience: Second Edition, Waveland Press.
• Hou, BH 2011, ‘Cultural Conflicts in Verbal Communication Between China and the West’, Young litterateur, vol. 10, pp. 185-186.
• Kao, SF & Gilmour, R & Lu, L 2001, ‘Cultural Values and Happiness: An East-West Dialogue’, Taylor & Francis Online, vol. 141, no. 4, pp. 477-493.
• Kinnison, QL 2017, ‘Power, integrity, and mask – An attempt to disentangle the Chinese face concept’, ScienceDirect, vol. 114, pp. 32-48.
• Lu, SX 2016, The comparison of Chinese and Western values under the new visual threshold of historical materialism, Beijing Book Co. Inc.
• Pu, J 2012, ‘The influence of the differences between Chinese and Western polite expressions on daily communication’, The literary world, vol. 1, pp.187-188.
• Shao, LB & Li, XF 2005, ‘The influence of Confucian ethics on Chinese people’, Journal Literature History and Philosophy, vol.4, no. 6, pp. 25-32.
• Triandis, H 1988, Collectivism v. Individualism: A Reconceptualisation of a Basis Concept in Cross-cultural Social Psychology. Palgrave Macmillan, London.
• Xu, M 2006, ‘The difference of color words in Chinese and Western culture’, Journal of Hetao University, vol. 3, no. 4, pp. 113-115.
• Yang, YB 2012, ‘Confucianism, socialism, and capitalism: A comparison of cultural ideologies and implied managerial philosophies and practices in the P. R. China’, ScienceDirect, vol. 22, no. 3, pp. 165-178.
• Zhang, W & Wang, Z 2007, ‘Confucian educational thought and its influence on modern social education’, Journal of Inner Mongolia University for Nationalities, vol. 13, no. 3, pp. 59-62.

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Home / Essay Samples / Sociology / Communication Skills / A Deep Dive into My Communication Style: A Personal Analysis

A Deep Dive into My Communication Style: A Personal Analysis

• Category: Sociology
• Topic: Communication Skills , Personal Life

Pages: 2 (888 words)

Views: 3473

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My communication skills (essay)

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