an essay on good person

How to Be a Good Person Essay

What does it mean to be a good person? The essay below aims to answer this question. It focuses on the qualities of a good person.

Introduction

What does it mean to be a good person, qualities of good person, works cited.

The term “good” has relative meanings depending on the person who is defining it. Several qualities can be used to define what constitutes a good person. However, there are certain basic qualities that are used to define a good person. They include honesty, trust, generosity, compassion, empathy, humility, and forgiveness (Gelven 24).

These qualities are important because they promote peaceful coexistence among people because they prevent misunderstandings and conflicts. A good person is fair and just to all and does not judge people. He or she is nice to everyone regardless of religion, race, social and economic class, health status, or physical state (Gelven 25).

A good person treats other people with respect, care, and compassion. Respect shows that an individual values and views the other person as a worthy human being who deserves respect. Compassion is a quality that enables people to identify with other people’s suffering (Gelven 27). It motivates people to offer help in order to alleviate the suffering of others. A good person has compassion for others and finds ways to help people who are suffering. Showing compassion for the suffering makes them happy.

It promotes empathy, understanding, and support. In addition, good people are forgiving. They do not hold grudges and let go of anger that might lead them to hurt others. They think positively and focus their thoughts on things that improve their relationships (Needleman 33). They avoid thinking about past mistakes or wrongs done by others. Instead, they think of how they can forgive and move on.

A good person is honest and trustworthy. This implies that they avoid all situations that might hurt the other person, such as telling lies, revealing secrets, and gossiping (Needleman 34). As such, their character or personality cannot be doubted because they do not harbor hidden intentions.

They act in open ways that reveal their true characters and personalities. On the other hand, good people are kind and respectful. They offer help voluntarily and work hard to improve the well-being of other people. In addition, they treat all people equally despite their social, physical, or sexual orientations. Good people do not discriminate, hate, deny people their rights, steal, lie, or engage in corrupt practices (Tuan 53).

Good people behave courageously and view the world as a fair and beautiful place to live in (Needleman 40). They view the world as a beautiful place that offers equal opportunities to everyone. Good people believe that humans have the freedom to either make the world a better or worse place to live in. They act and behave in ways that improve and make the world a better place.

For example, they conserve the environment by keeping it clean for future generations. A popular belief holds that people who conserve the environment are not good but just environmental enthusiasts. However, that notion is incorrect and untrue. People conserve the environment because of their goodness. They think not only about themselves but also about future generations (Tuan 53). They are not self-centered and mean but generous and caring.

Good people are characterized by certain qualities that include trust, honesty, compassion, understanding, forgiveness, respect, courage, and goodwill. They do not steal, lie, discriminate, or deny people their rights. They think about others’ welfare and advocate for actions that make the world a better place. They promote justice and fairness because they view everyone as a deserving and worthy human being.

Gelven, Michael. The Risk of Being: What it Means to be Good and Bad . New York: Penn State Press, 1997. Print.

Needleman, Jacob. Why Can’t We be good? New York: Penguin Group US, 2007. Print.

Tuan, Yi-Fu. Human Goodness . New York: University of Wisconsin Press, 2008. Print.

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Essay on Qualities of a Good Person

Students are often asked to write an essay on Qualities of a Good Person in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Qualities of a Good Person

Understanding goodness.

A good person is someone we all strive to be. They possess traits that are admired and make others feel good.

Kindness and Compassion

Kindness is a fundamental quality. A good person shows compassion, helping others without expecting anything in return.

Honesty and Integrity

Honesty and integrity are vital. A good person stays true to their word, ensuring trust is built and maintained.

Respectfulness

Respect for all is another key quality. Good people understand that everyone is unique and deserves respect.

Responsibility

Lastly, responsibility is essential. Good people are accountable for their actions, learning from mistakes, and striving to improve.

250 Words Essay on Qualities of a Good Person

Introduction.

Being a good person is a complex and multifaceted concept, encompassing a variety of characteristics and traits. It’s a subjective term, often shaped by societal norms, personal beliefs, and individual values. However, some universal qualities are widely recognized as markers of a good person.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. A good person is empathetic, demonstrating an innate capacity to connect with others on an emotional level. They can put themselves in someone else’s shoes, fostering understanding and promoting unity.

Integrity is a fundamental quality of a good person. It’s about being honest, trustworthy, and standing up for what is right, even when it’s challenging. A person with integrity holds themselves accountable for their actions and decisions, fostering respect and trust among their peers.

Respect for Diversity

In an increasingly globalized world, respect for diversity is crucial. A good person acknowledges and appreciates the differences among people, embracing diversity in thought, culture, and lifestyle. They understand that diversity enriches society and fosters growth and innovation.

Kindness, though simple, is a powerful quality. A good person is kind, not because they expect something in return, but because it’s the right thing to do. They strive to spread positivity, make others feel valued, and contribute to a more compassionate world.

In conclusion, being a good person is about more than just individual actions or behaviors. It’s about embodying qualities like empathy, integrity, respect for diversity, and kindness. These qualities enable us to connect with others, foster positive relationships, and contribute to a better world.

500 Words Essay on Qualities of a Good Person

Understanding the qualities that make a good person is essential in fostering interpersonal relationships and building societies. A good person is not defined by their wealth, fame, or power but by their character, actions, and how they treat others. This essay outlines several key qualities that define a good person.

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It is an essential quality that allows a person to connect with others on a deeper level. Empathy fosters kindness and compassion, making one considerate of the feelings and circumstances of others. It encourages mutual understanding and respect, which are vital in any social interaction.

Integrity is another crucial quality of a good person. It involves being honest and having strong moral principles. People with integrity stand by their beliefs and values, even when facing challenges. They uphold ethical standards and are reliable and trustworthy. Their actions align with their words, making them dependable and respected in their communities.

Resilience refers to the ability to recover quickly from difficulties. Life is full of ups and downs, and a good person knows how to navigate these challenges without losing their sense of self. Resilient individuals are adaptable and maintain a positive outlook on life, despite the obstacles they face. Their ability to bounce back inspires others and fosters a sense of hope and optimism.

Selflessness

Selflessness is the ability to put others’ needs before your own. A good person is willing to make sacrifices for the benefit of others. They give their time, resources, and energy to help those in need without expecting anything in return. Their selfless acts often make a significant impact on the lives of others.

Open-mindedness

Open-mindedness is the willingness to consider different ideas and perspectives. A good person understands that the world is diverse, and people have varying opinions and beliefs. They respect these differences and are open to learning from others. Their open-mindedness fosters inclusivity and promotes understanding and acceptance.

In conclusion, the qualities of a good person revolve around their character and actions towards others. Empathy, integrity, resilience, selflessness, and open-mindedness are all critical attributes. These qualities not only make individuals better but also contribute to building healthier relationships and societies. It is essential to remember that being a good person is not about perfection but striving to make a positive impact on the lives of others.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

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15 Qualities That Are At The Core Of Every ‘Good’ Person

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What makes a person “good” in the grand scheme of things?

There are some traits considered to be good by just about everyone. There are also cultural variables as to what symbolizes and expresses goodness in a person. 

Ultimately, it’s up to the individual to determine what they feel are the qualities of a “good person.”

When we’re asked to explain why some of our heroes are (or were) sincerely good people, many of these traits will make the list.

1. Prudence

A good person is a prudent person. Prudence is the ability to determine whether or not a particular action is a good (or appropriate) idea at that specific point in time. It’s considered to be one of the four cardinal virtues, derived originally from Plato’s Republic .

Prudence also refers to a situation in which you have the strength to do something, but choose not to. Or, when you could do something that’s self-indulgent in the moment, but choose to err on the side of better judgment for later.

An example of this would be refraining from spending money on games and junk food because you need to save enough to cover your portion of the rent and bills. You may spend a bit on a small indulgence, but choose responsibility over temporary amusement or gratification.

2. Temperance

Although most people interpret temperance as being abstinence from something, what it actually means is moderation. 

Having temperance means finding the middle path, and balancing the self in the face of any situation. It encompasses self-discipline and self-awareness. After all, you have to know your own abilities as well as your own limits in order to find the moderate zone between them. 

For example, embodying a sense of diplomacy as a moderator means finding that magical middle ground between expressing what you need to say, with the needs and views of others around you.

In other people, temperance might mean accepting a small drink when toasting with others, but refraining from drinking to inebriation. Or thoroughly enjoying a slice of cake without overindulging.

When you are balanced and measured in your approaches to everything, you can experience and understand all without being overwhelmed by it.

Good people often show courage. Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but rather the ability to take action even though you feel afraid. It is knowing that there is a difficult, potentially dangerous task ahead of you, but doing it because you know it needs to be done.

This one goes along with several of the other qualities listed here. For example, it often takes courage to act with integrity.

Courage can take many forms, from trying a new, challenging exercise to standing up to an intimidating person, or facing something that scares you.

The first level of courage is doing something even though it terrifies you.

The last level is being a calm, inspirational force to others, while feeling the same fear that they’re experiencing. 

For example, a high-ranking officer in a WWI trench was a bastion of calm and confidence, while the troops around him were quaking with fear. A young Private asked him how he was so calm, and the officer replied that he had to be in order to keep morale up. Additionally, he knew that the soldiers on the other side were also afraid, and that was oddly reassuring to him.

4. Compassion

Being compassionate isn’t just about understanding someone else’s pain. It’s also the desire to help alleviate it. One can look at a person and see that they’re suffering (sympathy) and then walk on by. But when we want to do what we can to help, then that’s compassion in action.

Ultimately, the basic element of compassion is kindness. We want to give of our own abilities to help another being who may be suffering. We can have compassion for people, animals, trees, rivers… anything that seems to be in distress that we can help to lessen.

The greatest mastery of compassion is when the one you’re trying to help is hurting you, and yet you’re still offering them assistance in a loving, gentle way. An adult may rail against you, or the hurt animal may bite you, but you still try to help.

Compassion means that you understand another’s pain without compounding it, offering what the other needs, and giving of yourself, regardless of the outcome.

5. Generosity

Generosity is a quality often associated with a good person. When we have a surplus of something, it’s important to share with others who have less. Even if we don’t have a surplus, it’s important to share with others. 

We always have something that we can share or give to those around us. This doesn’t have to be monetary wealth or physical objects, either. People who don’t have a lot of money can still be immensely generous with their time, for example. They can volunteer with the elderly or doing charity work. Or they can teach their skills to others who would like to learn from them. 

Being generous means that you’re giving with the heart, without any schemes to receive anything in return, or control those you are being generous with. These are gifts freely given, not because you think you’ll benefit in turn.

Quite often, those who have the least are the most generous toward others, because they know what it’s like to have nothing. They have the biggest hearts, and tend to be the most willing to help others in need.

6. Patience

This is one of the qualities that many admire, but it is also one of the most difficult to put into practice. It’s possible that this is because few of use are actually patient by nature. 

We tend to want things on our terms, on our own time. As a result, we get frustrated and annoyed when things don’t play out the way we think they should.

This is why it’s important to remember that the world doesn’t revolve around our wants and our schedule. There are billions of other players on this chess board, all engaged in an intricate dance. As such, we need to acknowledge and respect that we are all cogs in the machine, and our time to turn will come when it’s meant to.

Furthermore, it’s important to be aware that a lack of patience can cause a great deal of harm. People can only do their best, and when we’re impatient with those who aren’t as capable as we are, we can make them feel truly horrible about themselves. Or worse, they may end up traumatized and damaged. 

This is why it’s important to be patient with the grandmother or the child when crossing the road in a hurry, because they can’t keep up with you. If you’re not, and you walk away quickly instead of helping, they may end up getting hurt. 

Patience means that you can remain calm and measured in your responses, even when irritated. To not throw a tantrum when forced to wait. And to not complain unduly when things are taking longer than expected.

7. Respect 

Respect is undoubtedly a characteristic of a good person. When we talk about respect, we’re encompassing various aspects thereof. This includes respect for other people, self-respect, respect for life, for nature, etc.

Tolerance, esteem, appreciation, and recognition are just a few aspects of respect that can come into play.

For example, we can respect nature by not throwing garbage around or polluting water supplies. We can respect housemates by acknowledging the fact that they live their lives differently than we do, so we don’t project our behavioral expectations onto them.

We can respect our bodies by eating well and getting plenty of exercise, and show self-respect by not engaging in activities that would make us feel shame later. 

We acknowledge boundaries – our own and other people’s – and don’t overstep them for the sake of self-indulgence. We acknowledge that every individual is perfect, sovereign, and sacred. As such, we don’t put others down or mistreat them. Instead, we pay attention when they speak, honor their words, heed their personal choices.

It doesn’t take much effort to help others feel seen and heard, but it makes a world of difference to them when we do so.

8. Tolerance

Tolerance means accepting that others may think, behave, or live differently than we are, without trying to change their ways to suit our own preferences.

In simplest terms: live and let live.

Seek to understand your contemporaries in other cultures, races, religions, and creeds, rather than attacking them for their differences from you.

This is the difference between people who talk about how tolerant they are, but want to lead the next witch hunt.

In the 1600s it was witches. In the 1800s it was Amerindians. In the 1930s it was Jews. It is what it is today, and in 200 years, there will be another target group for people’s ire. 

Don’t jump on that bandwagon. We’re all better than that.

9. Integrity

A good person will act with integrity. Integrity means doing the right thing, even when nobody is watching. It’s holding to your individual moral and ethical convictions despite other people’s opinions and influences. Especially when it’s difficult to do so.

For example, let’s say that you’re working on a construction site and you find a precious artifact. You’re only making minimum wage at this gig, and this is a centuries-old gold ring buried in the mud. Nobody saw it except you. If you sold it, you’d likely make a ton of money. But you also recognize that it has historical significance.

Your sense of integrity would have you report the ring to the local coroner or Finds liaison officer so they can investigate it. Sure, you might get a reward for it – likely less than you’d have made for pawning it – but you know it’s the right thing to do. You didn’t have to, but you did it anyway.

10. Commitment

This one goes along with integrity, but expands upon it differently. 

Commitment means that you’ve held to your word, even if it was difficult to do so. This might mean sticking with a job or project that you absolutely hate because you promised someone that you would do so. Or it could be remaining faithful to a partner, despite your own non-monogamous leanings, because you gave your word that you’d be loyal.

You’ll see something through, simply because you made a promise.

A person who keeps their commitments is someone who can be trusted and relied upon. When you’re known as someone who keeps their word, you’re incredibly valued and respected in your community, as well as among your friends and loved ones.

11. Honesty

Honesty is often expressed as a quality of a good person. After all, if you discovered that someone lied to you, could you ever trust them again? If they lied to you that time, what would stop them from lying to you about everything and anything else?

People respect and appreciate honesty, especially when it’s difficult. For example, if and when we mess up horribly at work, but own that screw-up, admit to it, and take action to remedy it. Our employers and peers will respect us a lot more than if we try to cover it up or cast blame on others.

Furthermore, many people even appreciate honesty when it’s a bit hurtful. When someone is honest about a difficult topic or situation, it means that they care enough not to betray the other’s trust by lying about it. 

Of course, a lot depends on how a truth is shared. We can be gentle in our tone and the words we choose, rather than being cruel or scathing. How a truth is delivered can make the difference between long-term positive change, and trauma.

12. Humility

You know the type of person who’s always bragging about how awesome they are? Humility is the opposite of that.

Humility is holding to the idea that no person is greater or lesser than any others, despite popularity, wealth, titles, or achievements.

Those who feel that they are better or more important than other people tend to treat others badly. Since they consider themselves to be special, they often expect better treatment, and to be allowed to belittle those around them.

In contrast, someone who remains humble treats everyone around them with care and respect. They don’t tell others about all the wonderful charitable things they’ve done: they just do them. Their actions are for the greater good, not for the acknowledgement and praise they’ll receive from doing so.

13. Strength

The strength that makes a good person is mental and emotional rather than physical. Strength can be shown in a gentle way, albeit one that is unyielding. Look at Mahatma Gandhi and his hunger strike. It took immense strength to quash his own hunger, though agonizing, in order to work toward positive change. 

Hannibal and Marcus Aurelius showed immense strength of character in keeping everyone together while undertaking a massive journey. 

Anne Frank and Mother Teresa both showed tremendous strength in atrocious circumstances. Furthermore, their ability to love and care for others remained intact despite the horrors they witnessed and experienced.

You’ve likely noticed that strength and compassion, and strength and courage are linked. This is because strength is not always a projective virtue, but rather it’s an adaptive term. 

Strength is often a battery for many of the other qualities on this list. For example, you may show immense strength when you hold to integrity when everyone around you is doing something that goes against everything you believe in. Standing up for what you believe is right might be dangerous to you – perhaps even life threatening. As such, it takes immense strength of character and will to be true to yourself. 

There are many different types of love, despite the fact that only one word is used to encompass them in the Western world. We’re mostly familiar with romantic love, or the love felt between parents and children. But we can love humanity or nature with all our hearts as well. And we know that we love when we pour our energy toward other beings’ happiness, health, success, and freedom.

Some people mistake infatuation for love. Or possessiveness. Someone might love another person because they feel that the other person will give them what they need. Similarly, they might love a pet, or a house, or any other being or creature that brings them fulfillment. 

In contrast, when we truly love a person, our greatest wish is for their happiness. 

Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski covers this when he talks about “fish love.” What most people consider to be “love” is when their needs are fulfilled. Such as a man who eats a fish because he loves fish. This man loves the fish he’s eating so much that he took it out of the water, boiled it, and is eating it. He loves himself, and sees the fish as something that will fulfill his needs and wants.

If he truly loved the fish, he would encourage it to swim happily and lead a beautiful life. 

Real love isn’t a question of what we’re going to get from a situation or a person, but what we can give .

15. Self-awareness

You know in your gut when you’ve done wrong, or when you have done good.

If you ever do something and feel a twinge of shame or disgust with your actions, then you’re fully aware that you didn’t act in love or respect. Perhaps you did something sneaky for the sake of your own self-interests. Or the selfish altruism you displayed was far more for your own benefit than the other person’s.

In contrast, when you’ve done something that’s ethical and loving, you’ll feel an immense lightness of being. A warm glow will suffuse through you, and you might even get a bit choked up. You know that your actions will have long-reaching positive repercussions; like a glowing pebble thrown into a pond. Every ripple will carry light along with it.

Listen to this feeling when it speaks to you. Recognize it as your own inner compass, and allow it to lead you to the sincere goodness you’re capable of.

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• How To Show Respect For Others (+ Why It’s Important In Life)
• How To Be Truly Humble, And Why It’s Worth It
• How To Be Patient In An Increasingly Impatient World

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About The Author

Finn Robinson has spent the past few decades travelling the globe and honing his skills in bodywork, holistic health, and environmental stewardship. In his role as a personal trainer and fitness coach, he’s acted as an informal counselor to clients and friends alike, drawing upon his own life experience as well as his studies in both Eastern and Western philosophies. For him, every day is an opportunity to be of service to others in the hope of sowing seeds for a better world.

Good Qualities in a Person: 150+ Positive Character Traits

Understanding and appreciating the qualities that make us human can be a journey of self-discovery, a tool for character development, or a compass for personal growth. 

Whether you’re a teacher nurturing these traits in your students, a mental health professional guiding your clients, a writer crafting compelling characters, or simply someone seeking to better understand yourself and others — this resource is for you.

At Good Good Good , we celebrate stories of good people making a positive difference in the world . So, it made sense for us to compile this guide of diverse vocabulary to describe the qualities of a good person.

Remember: No one person can have every good quality — but every person does have some good qualities. We each have an opportunity and an obligation to continue to grow and improve ourselves.

Like Maya Angelou said , “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

We’ve curated the most comprehensive list of positive character traits on the internet. From Adventurous to Zealous, this guide serves as a testament to the multifaceted dimensions of character that make us uniquely human.

Whether you’re utilizing this resource for yourself or others, we hope it brings value to your journey.

You might also like: List of Personality Traits | List of Positive Words To Describe Someone | List of Emotions | List of Mood Words | List of Positive Affirmations

Good Personality Traits To Describe Good People

• Accountable
• Adventurous
• Anti-discriminatory
• Anti-racist
• Anti-sexist
• Appreciative
• Civic-minded
• Collaborative
• Communicative
• Compassionate
• Conscientious
• Considerate
• Constructive
• Cooperative
• Disciplined
• Eco-conscious
• Egalitarian
• Emotionally Intelligent
• Encouraging
• Enthusiastic
• Environmentally Friendly
• Fashionable
• Humanitarian
• Imaginative
• Independent
• Individualistic
• Intelligent
• Interesting
• Leader-like
• Lighthearted
• Negotiating
• Non-discriminatory 
• Non-exploitative
• Non-violent
• Open-minded
• Persevering
• Philanthropic
• Problem-solving
• Progressive
• Resourceful
• Responsible
• Self-confident
• Self-controlled
• Self-disciplined
• Self-reliant
• Socially Conscious
• Sustainable
• Sympathetic
• Team-oriented
• Trustworthy
• Understanding
• Willing to Learn

You might also like: Positive Words from A-Z

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How to Be a Better Person

Elizabeth Scott, PhD is an author, workshop leader, educator, and award-winning blogger on stress management, positive psychology, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.

Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk,  "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time.

We all want to be our best, but many people wonder if it's actually possible to become a better person once you're an adult. The answer is a resounding yes. There are always ways to improve yourself. This answer leads to more questions, however.

How can you improve yourself to be a better person? What is the easiest approach? And what are the most important aspects of self to work on? Taking into account your own well-being as well as the best interests of others, here are some of the most important ways to become a better person. 

Let Go of Anger

KOLOstock / Getty Images 

We all experience anger in our lives. Uncontrolled anger, however, can create problems in our relationships and even with our health. All of this can lead to more stress and additional problems, complicating life and keeping us from being our best selves. That's why learning to manage and eventually let go of anger is so important to becoming a better person.

Letting go of anger isn't always easy. But the first step is learning more about recognizing anger and knowing what to do when you feel angry in your life.

Recognizing anger is often simple if you make an effort to notice when you feel upset and decide to manage this feeling rather than denying it or lashing out at others as a way of coping. Focus on noticing when you feel angry and why, and know that there is a difference between feeling angry and acting on that anger. Then, know your options.

You can change your beliefs about what is making you angry. This can work by learning more about the situation, or even reminding yourself there may be things you don't know yet.

Remind yourself that maybe that person who cut you off in traffic was distracted by something challenging in their own life. If a friend seems to be rude to you, inquire about how their day is going and find out if there's more that you don't know.

You can also focus on what your "anger triggers" are, and eliminate them as possible. For example, if you find yourself becoming frustrated and angry when you have to rush, work on making more space in your schedule (even if it means saying "no" a little more), and try to eliminate that trigger. If a certain person makes you angry, try to limit their role in your life if it doesn't work to talk things out with them first.

It's also important to learn to let go of grudges and residual anger from each day. Don't wake up holding a grudge from the night before if you can help it. Focus on forgiveness , even if it means you don't let someone who wronged you continue to have an important role in your life. When you stay in the present moment as much as possible, this becomes easier.

Practicing stress relievers like meditation can also help you to let go of anger. Focus on releasing the hold that the past may have on you. Put your attention to the current moment and it becomes easier to avoid rumination and stay in a good place.

Support Others

Helping others may seem like an obvious route to becoming a better person. We often think of "good people" as those who are willing to sacrifice for others. This, in the minds of many, is what makes a person "good." However, good deeds can also make us better people because of the connection between altruism and emotional well-being.

According to research, it just may be true that it's better to give than to receive. So while you may feel too stressed and busy to extend help to others when it's not absolutely necessary, expanding your ability to focus on the needs of others can really help you as well. It’s true:  Altruism  is its own reward and can actually help you relieve stress.

Studies show that altruism is good for your emotional well-being and can measurably enhance your peace of mind.  

For example, one study found that dialysis patients, transplant patients, and family members who became support volunteers for other patients experienced increased personal growth and emotional well-being.

Another study on patients with multiple sclerosis (MS) showed that those who offered other MS patients peer support actually experienced greater benefits than their supported peers, including more pronounced improvement of confidence, self-awareness , self-esteem , depression, and daily functioning. Those who offered support generally found that their lives were dramatically changed for the better.

In addition to making the world a better place, exercising your altruism can make you a happier, more compassionate person. Because there are so many ways to express altruism, this is a simple route to being a better person, one that is available to all of us every day. This is good news indeed.

Leverage Your Strengths

Losing track of time when you’re absorbed in fulfilling work or another engaging activity, or what psychologists refer to as " flow ," is a familiar state for most of us. Flow is what happens when you get deeply involved in a hobby, in learning a new skill or subject, or in engaging in activities that supply just the right mix of challenge and ease.   

When we feel too challenged, we feel stressed. When things are too easy, we may become bored—either way, finding the sweet spot between these two extremes keeps us engaged in a very good way.

You can experience flow by writing, dancing, creating, or absorbing new material that you can teach others.

What may bring you to that state of being may be challenging for others, and vice versa. Think about when you find yourself in this state most often, and try doing more of that.

The state of flow is a good indicator of whether an activity is right for you. When you're in a state of flow, you're leveraging your strengths, and this turns out to be great for your emotional health and happiness. It's also a very positive thing for the rest of the world because your strengths can usually be used to help others in some way. 

When you learn enough about yourself to know what your best strengths are and find out how to use them for the benefit of others, you're on your way to being a better person, and a happier one as well.

Use the "Stages of Change" Model

Ask yourself: If you had a magic wand, what would you like to see in your future? Ignoring the ideas of how you’ll get there, vividly imagine your ideal life, and what would be included in it.

Take a few minutes to list, on paper or on your computer, the changes and goals that would be included in this picture. Be specific about what you want. It’s okay if you want something that you seemingly have no control over, such as a mate who is perfect for you. Just write it down.

You may follow the lead of many businesses and have a one-year, five-year, and 10-year plan for your life. (It doesn’t have to be a set-in-stone  plan , but a list of wishes and goals.) Keeping in mind what you hope for in your future can help you feel less stuck in the stressful parts of your present life, and help you see more options for change as they present themselves.

There are several ways to focus on change, but the stages of change model can lead you to your best self perhaps more easily than many other paths. This model of change can be adapted to whatever mindset you have right now and can work for most people.

The Stages of Change Model

• Precontemplation : Ignoring the problem
• Contemplation : Aware of the problem
• Preparation : Getting ready to change
• Action : Taking direct action toward the goal
• Maintenance : Maintaining new behavior
• Relapse : Reaffirm your goal and commitment to change

One of the most important parts of this route to change is that you don't push yourself to make changes before you're ready, and you don't give up if you find yourself backsliding—it's a forgivable and even expected part of the process of change. Understanding this plan for making changes can help you to be a better person in whatever ways you choose.

Press Play for Advice on Creating Change

This episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares how to use the six stages of change to apply them to your own process of change. Click below to listen now.

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Take Care of Yourself

Stígur Már Karlsson / Heimsmyndir / Getty Images

You may not always have control over the circumstances you face. But you  can  control how well you take care of yourself, which can affect your stress levels and enable you to grow as a person when you face life's challenges.

Self-care is vital for building resilience when facing unavoidable stressors for several reasons. When you're tired, eating poorly, or generally run down, you will likely be more reactive to the stress you face in your life. You can even end up creating more problems for yourself by reacting poorly rather than responding from a place of calm inner strength.

Conversely, when you're taking good care of yourself (both your physical and mental health ), you can be more thoughtfully engaged with whatever comes, use the resources you have in your life, and grow from the challenges you face, rather than merely surviving them.

Taking proper care of your body, soul, and mind can keep you in optimum shape for handling stress. That gives you added resilience to manage those challenges in life that we all face, as well as those that may be unique to you.

Basics of Self-Care

In terms of self-care strategies , there are several that can help, but some of the most important aspects of self-care include the basics:

• Connection with others

Sleep is important for your emotional and physical well-being because too little or poor quality sleep can leave you feeling more stressed and less able to brainstorm solutions to problems you face. Lack of sleep can take a toll on your body as well, both in the short term and in the long run. Poor sleep can even affect your weight.

The same is true with poor nutrition. A poor diet can leave you feeling bloated and tired, and can add extra pounds over time. You need the right fuel to face life's challenges, but when stress hits, it's often the unhealthy food we crave.

Social Connections

Feeling connected to others can help you feel more resilient. Good friends can help you to process negative emotions, brainstorm solutions, and get your mind off your problems when necessary. It's sometimes challenging to find time for friends when you have a busy, stressful life, but our friends often make us better people both with their support and their inspiration.

Finally, it is important to take a little time for yourself. This can mean journaling and meditation, or it can come in the form of exercise or even watching re-runs at home. This is particularly important for introverts , but everyone needs some time to themselves, at least sometimes.

Learn to Be User-Friendly

Our relationships can create a haven from stress, and help us to become better people at the same time. They can also be a  significant source of stress when there is conflict that is resolved poorly or left to fester. The beauty of this is that as we do the work it takes to become a better friend, partner, and family member, it can also be a path to becoming a better person.

To improve your relationships and yourself, learn conflict resolution skills. These skills include being a good listener, understanding the other side when you are in conflict, and anger management techniques .

These things can help us be better versions of ourselves. They can also minimize the stress we experience in relationships, making these relationships stronger. Close relationships usually provide plenty of opportunities to practice these skills as you work on improving them, so you can perhaps even appreciate the opportunities when they arise and feel less upset.

Mental Health Foundation. Cool down: Anger and how to deal with it .

Post SG. Altruism, happiness, and health: It's good to be good . Int J Behav Med . 2005;12(2):66-77. doi:10.1207/s15327558ijbm1202_4

Cheron G. How to measure the psychological "flow"? A neuroscience perspective . Front Psychol . 2016;7:1823. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2016.01823

Sadler-Gerhardt CJ, Stevenson DL. When it all hits the fan: Helping counselors build resilience and avoid burnout . American Counseling Association VISTAS 2012(1).

National Sleep Foundation. How much sleep do we really need?

By Elizabeth Scott, PhD Elizabeth Scott, PhD is an author, workshop leader, educator, and award-winning blogger on stress management, positive psychology, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.

How To Be A Good Person And Why It Matters

What makes a person a “good” person? Should we strive to be good—and if so, why? If you asked twenty people what it means to be a good person, chances are you would get twenty different answers. What individuals perceive to be good character traits can vary depending on several factors. Religion, culture, and family dynamics, for example, can all play a part in forming one's viewpoint on a topic like this.

Note that human beings are complex and that sorting all people into the strict binary of “good” or “bad” is generally not possible or particularly helpful. Attempting to do so can even result in distorted thinking, which can sometimes lead to mental health concerns like low self-esteem, anxiety, or depression. Here, we’ll use being a “good” person as a general term that refers to behaving in ways that are broadly considered to be considerate and kind, but it can be helpful to keep in mind the deep nuances of a topic like morality .

What is goodness?

The word "good" is  defined by Merriam-Webster  as "virtuous, right and commendable; kind and benevolent."  Henry David Thoreau  was quoted as saying, "Goodness is the only investment that never fails."

A “good” person often has certain habits or characteristics that reflect their efforts to be a considerate individual who avoids harming others. While, again, these can vary from person to person and culture to culture, a few general examples of these traits can include the following.

The empathy definition in psychology is the ability to emotionally understand another person's feelings by imagining yourself in their position. An empathetic person tends to be able to express an understanding of how others feel and treat them accordingly.

An individual who wants to be a good person might also strive to be honest with themselves and others. Dishonesty can damage trust between two people and potentially lead to distance or conflict within a relationship.

Someone who practices the principle of fairness might aim to be aware of their biases and avoid letting those negatively affect others. This could manifest as a belief in justice or equality, for example. 

Responsibility

Responsibility or accountability for one’s actions is also considered by many to be a sign of a good person. It usually involves an effort to make decisions that aren’t harmful to others and to take ownership of them if they are.

Why being a good person matters

One’s motivation for being “good” can vary widely. Research suggests that altruism—or the act of showing selfless concern for the well-being of others—is a uniquely human trait, of which there are many examples. Biologically, evolutionarily, or on some other level, many may feel generally driven to be kind and not harmful—a trait that many people equate with being a good person. 

However, there are many other complex factors that go into how humans decide to behave, and our actions can have effects on many areas of our lives. If you’re in the process of deciding what values you want to live by, you might consider some of these potential outcomes of who you may choose to be. 

Effects on your career and opportunities

Your actions and behaviors help build your reputation which, among many other factors, can help to create the opportunities you encounter in life. Behaving in ways that are generally respectful of others may help others develop a positive opinion of you. This could lead to benefits in your career and other opportunities that may help you achieve what you’re looking for in life.

Effects on relationships

The way we behave can also impact how others see us and relate to us, which can affect our relationships overall. For instance, many people are looking for friends and romantic partners who are “good” people in that they’re honest, caring, respectful, etc. People who are looking for healthy, supportive relationships often tend to seek out others who make them feel safe rather than uneasy or disrespected.

Feeling a sense of purpose

Deciding on a set of values that you want to live by and then sticking to them as best you can may help give you a direction and a purpose in life. This may even correlate with less loneliness and better overall health.

Seeking support related to being a good person

The idea of being a “good” person can affect a person’s mental health in a variety of ways. For instance, a person might have trouble coping with mistakes they’ve made in the past and how they may have affected those around them. Or, they could hold themselves to an impossible standard of perfection , which could lead to feelings of depression or anxiety. If you’re looking for support in discovering your values or changing the way you relate to morality , a therapist may be able to help.

If you’re interested in therapy but prefer to receive this type of care from the comfort of home, you might try online therapy. In one study published in World Psychiatry, researchers examined the effectiveness of online therapy in treating a wide range of mental health disorders. Their research indicates that online therapy can be as effective as face-to-face counseling in many cases, which reflects the similar findings of other studies as well. With a platform like BetterHelp, you can get matched with a licensed therapist who you can meet with via phone, video call, and/or in-app messaging. See below for client reviews of BetterHelp counselors.

Counselor reviews

"Michal has been very supportive. Her techniques are very handy and have really helped me switch my negative thoughts to positive ones. Looking forward to learning more from her to become a better version of myself. Thank you Michal."

"Krysten has been an immense help in dealing with and confronting my anger and depression issues. I started to notice immediate changes in my general disposition within a week of working with her. My friends and family have even said I seem less bitter and jaded. And the fact that I can communicate with her frequently has done wonders in keeping me on track and progressing forward. My time working with Krysten and being on BetterHelp has been a positive experience and done much more for me than traditional in-office therapy ever did."

How can you become a good person?

There isn’t a consistent definition of what makes a good person. Even rules that seem constant and rigid, like “Good people don’t hurt others,” can become flexible under the right conditions. For instance, most humans condemn murder and believe it is morally wrong, yet there are often exceptions that allow for taking a life in the case of self-defense or during war. 

Deciding what makes you a good person requires understanding your moral identity . What do you believe to be morally right? When can the rules be bent or broken? Do small actions, like holding the door open for someone, make you a good person, or does it take a more substantial effort, like volunteering for charity work?

Becoming a good person means understanding your moral code and improving yourself until your actions consistently reflect your values. While that journey is different for everybody, there are some common tips that may help you: 

• Don’t make excuses. Becoming a good person is a personal responsibility, and no one can achieve your goal besides you. Be wary of pointing the finger at others; becoming a good person often means examining your mistakes and making peace with your shortcomings. 
• Use honest and direct communication. Lies and deception are rarely seen as traits kind people possess. Learn to articulate your thoughts and feelings openly and honestly. 
• Help others. Take time to assist others when you can; helping others through tough times will likely improve your reputation and self-perception. Good deeds and kindness are commonly considered a foundational part of being a good person. 
• Become a good listener. Knowing how to listen actively can make it easier for you to understand and empathize with others. Empathy is commonly associated with goodness, and demonstrating empathy is likely an important skill to have. 
• Always be respectful . Your words and actions should always demonstrate respect for the people around you and the environment that you’re in. Take time to learn how to control your negative emotions. You don’t have to agree with everything or appease everyone, but even when disagreeing, you should maintain a respectful tone and demeanor. 

What is the point of being a good person?

Philosophers have debated the reasons for being a good person for centuries. Today, there are several philosophical and sociological arguments that justify good behavior. One of the longest-running unsettled arguments is the egoism/altruism debate . The egoism/altruism debate examines what motivates humans to be good to each other.  

The altruism side of the argument asserts that humans have an intrinsic drive to help others. The existence of an empathetic connection between humans supports the altruism argument. For example, if a person comes across someone who is injured, they are likely to try to assist them, probably because they empathize with their position. In the altruism argument, empathy motivates good and helpful behavior, allowing for self-sacrifice with no prospect of receiving a reward . 

In contrast, the egoism argument suggests that people tend to be motivated to help others for self-serving reasons. It may elevate their status in society, make it more likely they can receive help from others, or put others in their debt. Furthermore, some proponents of the egoist perspective assert that even when someone helps another with no intention of a reward, the warm feeling of satisfaction that commonly comes after helping someone else may serve as its own reward. From an egoist perspective, helping behavior is inherently self-serving, no matter whether an external reward is expected. 

How do you feel like a good person?

Feeling like a good person is often related to self-improvement and self-acceptance. You will likely feel good when your behaviors align with your core values. No matter what your exact definition of a “good person” may be, if your actions match your beliefs, you will likely feel like a good person. 

You may want to consider building your self-esteem and recognizing your strengths. You likely have much to offer the world around you, and recognizing your inherent goodness can help you feel better about yourself. Self-examination may also be helpful. Taking time to analyze your understanding of what is morally right may offer insight into how you can be a good person on your terms. 

How can I be a better person and happy?

Self-improvement is likely one of the most critical steps toward becoming happier. People with good personalities who understand their place in the world and surround themselves with a support network tend to be much happier than those who do not reach those goals. Achieving those goals requires committing to self-improvement and growth. It requires a willingness to examine your moral identity and develop an understanding of how you conceptualize the difference between good and bad.

Many people begin by identifying their strengths and improving their self-esteem . You likely have strengths to offer, and utilizing your natural strengths can make becoming a better person much easier. Early in your self-improvement process, you should decide on reasonable goals that will continually make you a better person. Goal-setting can be challenging ; it is important that you stay within your limits and grow into a better person at a reasonable pace. 

How can I improve myself every day?

Committing to daily positive change is likely a worthwhile goal. Improving yourself daily lets you take small steps towards a larger personal goal. Many people find setting both long-term and short-term goals to be helpful. Long-term goals should represent relatively large aspirations related to your self-improvement, and short-term goals should represent steps you can take to achieve your larger goals. 

Ensuring that your long-term and short-term goals are reasonably achievable is important. Your goals shouldn’t take so little effort that you don’t have to work to attain them, but they shouldn’t be so hard that you risk burnout trying to accomplish them. Appropriately balancing your goals is likely to help you stay on track and motivated as you incorporate daily self-improvement into your life.  

How can I change myself to be better?

Bettering yourself requires time, effort, and dedication. When you set goals and work toward them, you are physically changing the pathways in your brain , which requires consistent effort and repetition. If you are trying to rid yourself of bad habits or develop better ones, you may need to commit days, weeks, or months to the process. That is why choosing achievable goals is so important; if you go too long without reaching a goal, you may experience depleted willpower and burnout. 

When deciding your goals and how you want to achieve them, it may be helpful to study your successes. You likely have many strengths you can leverage on your self-improvement journey, some of which you may not realize you have. Consider paying close attention to the positive feedback you receive from others. 

Reflect on what strengths are apparent and how you can use those good qualities to achieve your goals. If feedback from others in your life is sparse, consider asking those around you for feedback directly. Don’t expect everything to be positive; you should be prepared for some (hopefully constructive) criticism. You can reflect on the criticism, too, especially if it conflicts with your goals, but be sure to come back around to the positive. 

How do I get better at something?

No matter what skill you are trying to develop, getting better at something requires willpower and persistence. Self-improvement requires actions that physically change your brain as your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors change. Sticking to your goals is arguably the most challenging part of getting better at something, especially at the beginning of the process. 

Here are some basic steps to help you remain committed to your self-improvement journey: 

• Develop a growth mindset. A person with a growth mindset sees failure as a necessary part of success. You may want to work on accepting the trials and tribulations of personal growth. Doing so may make it easier to avoid burnout and stay committed to your goals. 
• Develop refined goals. Goals that are too broad (e.g., “I want to get better”) are difficult to achieve. It is important that your goals be attainable . Each time you achieve one of your goals, the reward center in your brain reinforces the behavior that got you there. Refined goals are balanced; they aren’t so easy that you don’t have to work to achieve them and aren’t so hard that you burn out trying to attain them. 
• Keep your focus. It is easy to get distracted from whatever improvement goals you have. Vices and bad habits are potential distractions, but so are the demands of daily life. Other people’s poor behavior can distract you as well. Consider learning to forgive people quickly, for your sake, instead of theirs.  Make sure you are reminding yourself of your goals and tracking your progress daily. 
• Maintain accountability. Monitoring your progress towards your goals lets you analyze how your journey is coming along. If there are areas where you are struggling to progress, take time to figure out where the challenges are and how you can overcome them. Take responsibility for your own progress; only you can make yourself a better person. 

How do you keep growing in life?

Consistent personal growth requires dedication and commitment. As you become a better person, you will need to identify new growth areas and goals to move forward. It is likely prudent to engage in self-evaluation regularly. Take time to learn yourself, understand your moral identity , and determine which goals you should set next in your improvement journey. 

It may also be helpful to  seek feedback from others. Friends, family, and coworkers can all be valuable sources of insight into your strengths and weaknesses. When seeking feedback from others, ask that they be open and honest with you. This means that you will need to prepare yourself to receive negative as well as positive feedback. Although criticism can be unpleasant - even if it’s constructive - listening to negative feedback can help illustrate areas for personal development, while positive improvement-oriented feedback is likely to improve your performance overall.

• Overcoming Hopelessness: Tips To Help You Feel Better Medically reviewed by Julie Dodson , MA
• Do's and don'ts: Addressing a loved one’s hoarding disorder Medically reviewed by Laura Angers Maddox , NCC, LPC
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How Can You Tell If You Are a Good Person?

Four virtues are the key. which do you possess.

Posted October 14, 2016 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

There are many ways to define what it means to be a good person. One definition of “good” is that you follow the rules — you don’t break the law, commit crimes, lie, or cheat.

Another way to determine who is a good person is to ask others — friends, family members, coworkers — people who know you and can “vouch” for your good qualities and character.

Another, more abstract, way to define goodness is that, at the end of your days, you leave the world a better place — you have done good deeds, saved lives (or souls), raised good children, made others happy, and the list goes on.

An approach that we’ve used in our research on “good” leaders stems from the ancient Greek philosophers and emphasizes character. According to Aristotle, there are four cardinal virtues that determine a person of good character. So, an easy way to get on the path to “goodness” is to practice the four virtues.

Here are the four cardinal virtues, their definitions, and how you can tell if you are leading a virtuous life.

1. Prudence. Another term for prudence is “ wisdom ,” but it involves being objective and reflective when deciding on courses of action. Prudent individuals learn to avoid making bad decisions. They value and learn from others. To assess how prudent you are, consider this:

• Do you make life decisions by studying information, listening to the advice of trusted friends and relations, and “fact-checking?"
• Do you choose courses of action that are based on what you “ought” to do? For example, would your parents approve of your course of action?

2. Temperance. This virtue focuses on moderation — not being too extreme. It involves controlling your passions and not acting out.

• Do you manage your emotions, particularly the “dark” ones (i.e., anger , despair)?
• Do you avoid the lure of power, wealth, and do you have good perspective on your own accomplishments (i.e., not have an overinflated ego)?

3. Justice. This virtue deals with being fair and respecting others.

• Do you treat others fairly, giving them credit when credit is due?
• Do you respect the rights of others? Do you treat others as you would want to be treated?

4. Fortitude (or Courage). This involves having the courage to stand up for what you believe in — to do the right thing.

• Do you intervene when you see others being mistreated or abused?
• Do you have the courage to take responsibility for your own mistakes and failures?
• Do you have a moral compass that you follow and do you have the courage to do what that moral compass tells you to do?

Although our work involves trying to help leaders assess and build their character via the cardinal virtues, these are important for everyone, not just leaders. Moreover, parents should foster these virtues in themselves and in their children. Focusing on these virtues, checking your own behavior, and working to become more virtuous in all areas of life is the key to becoming a good person.

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Riggio, R.E., Zhu, W., Reina, C., & Maroosis, J. (2010). Virtue-based measurement of ethical leadership: The Leadership Virtues Questionnaire. Consulting Psychology Journal, 62(4), 235-250.

Ronald E. Riggio, Ph.D. , is the Henry R. Kravis Professor of Leadership and Organizational Psychology at Claremont McKenna College.

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How to Be a Good Person

Last Updated: May 26, 2024 Approved

This article was co-authored by Tracey Rogers, MA . Tracey L. Rogers is a Certified Life Coach and Professional Astrologer based in Philadelphia. Tracey has over 10 years of life coaching and astrology experience. Her work has been featured on nationally syndicated radio, as well as online platforms such as Oprah.com. She is certified as a Coach by the Life Purpose Institute, and she has an MA in International Education from George Washington University. There are 12 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article received 79 testimonials and 87% of readers who voted found it helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 1,732,724 times.

Being a good person means more than just doing things for others. You have to accept and love yourself before you can put positive energy into the universe. Philosophers have been debating what is good and what is not for centuries, and many people find that it's more complicated than just being kind . While every person's journey is different, being good has a lot to do with discovering yourself and your role in the world. In order to truly be good, you will have to consider what 'goodness' means to you. Perhaps this means doing good for others, or simply being an honest and kind person. Use some of the following tips to help yourself be a better person.

Being a Good Person

Emulate characteristics of good people like honesty and respect. As much as possible, go out of your way to help others and always be a good listener when people are sharing with you. Don’t make excuses for your past mistakes—just improve yourself going forward!

Improving Yourself

• What is your ideal person? Make a list of traits that you believe make up a good, ideal person. Start living your life according to these traits. [2] X Research source
• Are you waiting for something in return? Are you doing things because it will help you look good? Or are you doing things because you truly want to give and help? Stop putting up airs and adopt the attitude of giving without expectation of receiving anything in return. [3] X Research source
• Being good does not mean only by outer goodness. You have to consider being good straight from the heart (i.e., purely). Ultimately, you have to decide on your own code of ethics, and what matters is that you follow through with what you believe makes you a good person. At times, this may conflict with what others believe is good, and they might even accuse you of being wrong or evil. Consider their views - either they know something you don't, in which case you may learn something from them and update your morality, or perhaps their experience is limited, meaning that you should take their views with a grain of salt.

• Who do you look up to and why? How are they making the world a better place to live in, and how can you do the same?
• What qualities do you admire in them, and how can you develop the same ones?
• Keep your role model close to you, like a friendly spirit that is always at your side. Think of how they would respond to a question or circumstance, and how you should respond in the same manner.

• You have your own unique gifts and talents . Focus on sharing them with the world instead of focusing on the gifts of another. [8] X Research source

• Are you superficially acting like a good person? If you are self-loathing and angry on the inside, you may not be a good person despite all your outward actions.

• Be good for its own sake. Don't try to be a good person because your parents told you to, because you want recognition or respect, or for any kind of reward except your own satisfaction in doing what you believe is good. Never act superior to anyone else or brag about your "goodness" or "righteousness". Your dedication to a particular creed, ideology, or set of guidelines does not make you better than anyone else. Do what you believe makes you a good person on your own terms, and remember that it's an individual journey - everyone's path is unique. " Do good by stealth, and blush to find it fame." — Alexander Pope.

• Find a private, safe space free from distractions. Sit in a comfortable position. Clear your mind from all thoughts and take a few deep, slow breaths. Observe the thoughts in your head. Don't feel or react, just observe. If your focus breaks, just count to ten. Meditate until you feel cleansed and rejuvenated. [13] X Research source

• An example for Goal 1: I will listen to others without interrupting at all either verbally or in any other way. Think of how annoying it can be for you when the other person begins to move the lips as if they are about to intervene.
• Goal 2: I will do my best to think of what things would make another person happy. This could be sharing your food or drink with others when they are hungry or thirsty, letting someone else sit where you want to sit or something else.

Having a Positive Attitude

• The Motto of the Christophers says: "It is better to light a single candle than it is to curse the darkness." Be that light. When you see controversy, try to be the one who changes the subject by suggesting a solution . Don't state what you would do, but ask everyone to get involved.

• Even reach out to people who have been cold or indifferent to you. Show someone who is rude to you the example of your kindness. Maybe people have always been rude to them. Be the person who shows them kindness instead. [16] X Research source

• Buying organic and locally grown food
• Being a responsible pet owner by cleaning up after your pets [17] X Research source
• Donating old items to shelters or charitable organizations instead of a thrift store [18] X Research source
• Putting items back in the store where you got them instead of leaving them
• Not taking the closest parking space so you leave it for someone who needs it more

• Don't be in a hurry to get to the store and get back. Enjoy the scenery as you pass by. While in the store, notice all the fine and colorful fruits and vegetables that are there for your nourishment, and realize that others are not as fortunate to enjoy the same benefits. Buy some extra nourishing food to give to the food bank to help feed others. Suggest to the manager there should be a food drop off sold at discount somewhere in the store for the poor.
• Only use the car horn in an emergency situation. Don't blow it at a little old man that can barely see over the wheel or someone driving extremely slow. Realize the driver may be taking his/her time so he/she doesn't injure him/herself or someone else. If they rush past you, understand that they may be in a hurry for something important. Even if they are not, why add to already negative feelings? [21] X Research source Anger only begets anger.

• Have integrity . Make your word mean something. If you say you are going to do something, then follow through on that promise. If circumstances arise that make it so you can't do it, be honest and direct and let the person know. [26] X Research source
• Being honest doesn't mean being rude or cruel.

• It doesn't work very well if you are merely trying to be diplomatic. Don't adopt a policy like, "Anything for a quiet life."

Live empathetically and help others to the best of your ability "We have a responsibility to be aware of others. We need to make justice the norm, not the exception."

Interacting With Others

• Be respectful of elderly people . Realize that you will be old someday and may need a helping hand. Next time you go to a mall, parking lot, or anywhere, look for an old person struggling with something, like carrying bags or loading groceries into their car. Ask, "May I help you with that?" You will be doing a great service for seniors. Sometimes you may get one who will reject your offer; simply say, "I understand, and I wish you a good day." Or when you are out and see an old person alone, say hello with an amiable smile and ask how they are doing. Just acknowledging someone can make their day.
• Be compassionate towards intellectually disabled people . They are people with feelings too. Give them a big smile and treat them like a person. If other people are smiling or laughing with your interaction with them, ignore them and keep your attention on the person who is your true friend.
• Don't be racist , homophobic, or intolerant of other religions. The world is a large place full of diversity. Learn from others and celebrate differences.

• Don't blame others. Accept what is your fault, talk to others about what they have done to upset you. But blaming others fosters negativity and resentment. [28] X Research source
• If you can't let go of your anger, try writing down your feelings, meditating, or managing your thoughts. [29] X Research source
• Don't try to correct people when they're angry by saying something irrational. Just listen with compassion and remain quiet. Say to them, "I'm sorry you feel this way, is there anything I can do to help?"

• Jealousy is hard to overcome. Try to realize that you don't have to have the same things as everyone else. Try to stop feeling jealous of other people.

• When other people see you doing good deeds, they will be reminded to take more positive action themselves. Nurturing someone else and striving to be an example can help you see your own acts more clearly.
• Start small. Join a Big Brother-Big Sister program, volunteer to coach a kid's sports team, teach, or be a role model for young family members. [34] X Research source

• Share your food with others. Never take the biggest slice of pizza or piece of meat, or if you absolutely must do so, split it with others.

• Don't talk about others behind their backs. Be a genuine person. If you have a problem with someone, confront them in a respectful way. Don't spread bad things about them when they are not around.
• Don't unfairly judge people. You don't know the circumstances surrounding them. Give people the benefit of the doubt, and respect their choices. [36] X Research source
• Treat others the way you'd like to be treated. Remember the golden rule. Put the energy out into the universe you'd like to receive.
• Respect extends to your surroundings, too. Don't throw trash on the floor, don't purposefully mess up things, and don't talk too loud or be obnoxious. Respect that other people share the same space as you. [37] X Research source

Expert Q&A

• You may make mistakes, but never repeat the same mistakes. Learn from your mistakes and help yourself grow stronger as a person. Thanks Helpful 6 Not Helpful 0
• When people attempt to put you down, don't talk back or take it to heart. Instead, laugh or shrug it off, or simply say you're sorry they feel this way. This will show you are too smart to sink down to their level and will prevent you from being harsh, aggressive, and a bad person. Not to mention, when they see how well you handle the situation, even your aggressors may back off or lose their interest in insulting you. Thanks Helpful 5 Not Helpful 1
• Remember, happiness is a state of mind. The only thing in the world that we can control is ourselves, so choose to be happy and control yourself by purposely maintaining a positive mental attitude. Thanks Helpful 4 Not Helpful 1

Tips from our Readers

• Even if you're going through some rough times right now, that doesn't mean you can't get through them. You probably went through some challenges in life when you were a child and thought you couldn't make it ,but you got through it and you can do it again!
• Never look down on or judge someone. If you're going to offer someone advice, make sure it's done kindly and with the purpose of helping them.
• If you meet a mean person, don't stoop to their level. Counteract their mean-spirited ways with your kindness!

• Recognize that you may find it more difficult to be kind and understanding in practice than in theory - just keep working at it. Thanks Helpful 60 Not Helpful 4
• As much as possible, seek to have a sense of humor about these things - both with regards to the mistakes you've made and the sacrifices you anticipate you will need to make to be nice. Thanks Helpful 42 Not Helpful 3
• The areas relating to others which you could most likely improve in are quite possibly the ones which you are least willing to admit that you are wrong in; that's exactly why you can benefit so much from facing that you may be wrong or out of line in how you relate to or treat others. Thanks Helpful 48 Not Helpful 5
• Remember that you are still human - for as long as you live, you will have a tendency to sometimes make mistakes; that's okay. Everyone makes them. Do the best you can, and if you occasionally make mistakes or are not as nice as you'd like to be, just bring yourself back to focusing on thinking of others as much as yourself. Thanks Helpful 44 Not Helpful 6
• If someone asks you for help and it involves doing what they should do alone never do it! It's cheating and simply teaches the person that cheating is fine. Thanks Helpful 35 Not Helpful 8

You Might Also Like

• ↑ http://www.telegraph.co.uk/lifestyle/10226211/Are-you-a-good-person.html
• ↑ http://personalexcellence.co/blog/101-ways-to-be-a-better-person/
• ↑ Tracey Rogers, MA. Certified Life Coach. Expert Interview. 6 January 2020.
• ↑ https://www.inc.com/john-rampton/15-ways-to-become-a-better-person.html
• ↑ http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-12430/31-ways-to-be-a-better-person-every-day.html
• ↑ http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/5-reasons-why-you-should-always-yourself.html
• ↑ http://personalexcellence.co/blog/10-reasons-you-should-meditate/
• ↑ http://personalexcellence.co/blog/how-to-meditate/
• ↑ http://www.marcandangel.com/2013/09/08/10-ways-to-gain-fame-for-being-a-good-person/
• ↑ http://thoughtcatalog.com/david-dean/2013/06/how-to-be-a-good-person-everyday/
• ↑ http://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/9-ways-better-person.html
• ↑ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joyce-marter-/10-ways-to-evolve-and-be-_b_4495114.html

About This Article

To be a good person, make sure to love and accept yourself so that you can be more accepting of others. Additionally, try to approach situations with a positive attitude, focusing on what you can do rather than what you did wrong. Then, work on being more empathetic by treating others as you would want to be treated. You should also try to perform a small act of kindness every day, like holding open a door or giving someone your seat on the bus. Alternatively, do something positive for the world around you, like recycling your trash or cleaning up after your pet. For tips on how to be a good person by forgiving other people’s mistakes, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Being a Good Person — Attributes of a Good Person

Attributes of a Good Person

• Categories: Being a Good Person

About this sample

Words: 1044 |

Published: Dec 12, 2018

Words: 1044 | Pages: 2 | 6 min read

What Does It Mean to Be a Good Person?

Works cited.

• Bandura, A. (1999). Moral disengagement in the perpetration of inhumanities. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 3(3), 193-209.
• Batson, C. D., Ahmad, N., & Tsang, J. (2002). Four motives for community involvement. Journal of Social Issues, 58(3), 429-445.
• Baumeister, R. F., & Exline, J. J. (2000). Virtue, personality, and social relations: Self-control as the moral muscle. Journal of Personality, 68(6), 1165-1194.
• Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The "what" and "why" of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227-268.
• Eisenbeiss, S. A., Knippenberg, D. V., & Boerner, S. (2008). Transformational leadership and team innovation: Integrating team climate principles. Journal of Applied Psychology, 93(6), 1438-1446.
• Keltner, D., & Haidt, J. (2003). Approaching awe, a moral, spiritual, and aesthetic emotion. Cognition and Emotion, 17(2), 297-314.
• Leary, M. R., Twenge, J. M., & Quinlivan, E. (2006). Interpersonal rejection as a determinant of anger and aggression. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 10(2), 111-132.
• Roberts, B. W., Kuncel, N. R., Shiner, R., Caspi, A., & Goldberg, L. R. (2007). The power of personality: The comparative validity of personality traits, socioeconomic status, and cognitive ability for predicting important life outcomes. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 2(4), 313-345.
• Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68-78.
• Staub, E. (2001). The roots of goodness: The fulfillment of basic human needs and the development of caring, helping, and nonaggression, inclusive caring, moral courage, active bystandership, and altruism born of suffering. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 5(4), 388-394.

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How to Write an Essay about Your Qualities

In this tutorial, you will learn how to write an essay about your qualities. We’ll also write a sample essay together!

Whether you’re writing for your homework or college applications, writing such an essay is easy if you know where to start and what to do. So, let’s get right to it.

To write an essay about your qualities, consider what makes you stand out. Pick a main idea, choose three qualities that best describe you, write an introduction and a paragraph for each quality, and write a conclusion. 

Let’s face it: you have many qualities, and writing such an essay could be tricky, especially if you don’t organize your thoughts first. So, let’s make things easier for you!

First, pick a main idea.

You need to choose a central idea that overarches the qualities you want to talk about in your essay. To do this, you can think of a personality trait or behavior you can describe using three supporting points— three prominent qualities.

Whatever you choose will be your essay’s thesis .

For example, our main idea can be: “ I am a people’s person . ”

Next, choose three qualities that best support the main idea.

Let’s use the Power of Three to keep your ideas flowing.

The Power of Three divides an essay’s main idea into three supporting points. It is a three-part structure that helps you create your essay’s body paragraphs.

It’s easy to get stuck if you don’t divide your essay’s subject. Similarly, dividing it into only two supporting ideas is not enough, although it may be better than having one undivided main idea.

But dividing it into three is the best way to go. Three is the perfect number of supporting ideas, and it always works.

Make sure you choose ideas distinct from one another to make your essay clear to your readers. But, you should reflect all three supporting points in your thesis statement .

Now, let’s see how this works when writing about your qualities.

For our sample essay, let’s choose these qualities:

I am kind to my family.

This quality talks about how you treat the people closest to you — your family . It also relates to being a people’s person, which should be reflected in the essay.

We can answer questions like these in this part of our essay:

• “Why is it important to be kind to your family?”
• “How do you show kindness to your family?”

I am a loyal friend.

Like the first one, this quality relates to being a people person. 

However, it is different from being kind to your family because it talks about a quality related to your friends .

In this part of our essay, we will answer questions like:

• “Why do you think you need to be loyal to your friends?”
• “How do you show loyalty to your friends?”

I am approachable.

Lastly, also related to being a people’s person, this quality talks about a trait related to people who are not really familiar to you — acquaintances and strangers .

We will answer the following questions in this part of our essay:

• “What does it mean to be approachable?”
• “Do you do something to look approachable to other people?”

Notice how all three qualities relate to being a people person. These three, plus our main idea, are enough for now. Later, you will understand how we can expand them into an entire essay.

Now we have a clear picture of our essay’s structure after dividing the main idea into three distinct supporting points.

Now, write an introduction and a body paragraph for each quality.

Now that we have a general idea of what to write in our essay, we can create the introductory paragraph and three body paragraphs, one for each quality we chose.

To write an introductory paragraph , you need an opening sentence (the introduction) that briefly sets the context of your essay. Next comes the thesis (the main idea) and three supporting points.

Here’s an example of an introductory paragraph:

“Our qualities make us unique. Others say I am a people’s person because I am kind to my family, I am a loyal friend, and I am approachable. I help my family in any way I can and avoid using harsh words when we have disagreements. I support my friends and call them out when they are wrong. And I love smiling nicely so other people won’t be scared of approaching me.”

Note that this paragraph goes from a general statement to three specific ideas.

Great! Now, let’s move on to our body paragraphs , containing our three supporting points — the three qualities we want to discuss in our essay.

To write a body paragraph, start with a topic sentence summarizing it. Then, you will briefly explain it and provide examples to illustrate your idea.

Here are examples of body paragraphs for our essay:

Paragraph 1

“I always choose to be kind to my family because it builds my relationship with them. I help my parents with cleaning up around the house, and even buying groceries sometimes. I also help my siblings with their homework and school projects. And I avoid harsh, insulting words when we have disagreements. Instead, I try to stay calm, understand their point of view, and talk to them kindly.”

Paragraph 2

“My loyalty to my friends is one of the qualities I am proudest to have. I always express my genuine happiness to my friends when they achieve something, big or small. And sometimes, although it is hard, I tell them what they need to hear instead of just telling them what they want. For example, I remember telling my friend Kate she was wrong when she got the highest score for our exam because of cheating. She knows I always support and want the best for her, so she appreciated that I called her out for her mistake.”

Paragraph 3

“Whenever I am at an event, strangers and acquaintances tell me I am approachable. They tell me I look easy to talk to, friendly and welcoming because I always have a nice smile. For instance, I attended a party my new colleague invited me to, where I did not know many people. So, I just smiled and politely introduced myself. After a few minutes, my colleague’s friend — a stranger — told me she found me approachable and would love to be friends.”

Note how all three body paragraphs follow the diagram above. They started with topic sentences, followed by explanations and examples.

Finally, write the conclusion.

Restating your main idea and the three supporting points you used (paraphrasing your introductory paragraph) is the quickest and easiest way to write the conclusion for your essay. 

Let’s try this time-tested method for our essay.

Here’s an example of a concluding paragraph:

“Our qualities make us all unique, and they either make people like or dislike us. Many people tell me I am a people’s person. I get along well with my family because I always choose to be kind to them. I always express my loyalty to my friends. And I enjoy smiling, making people feel welcome and comfortable when they are around me.”

Finally, we’re done writing our sample essay! 

I hope this has been helpful. Now go ahead and write your essay about your qualities!

Tutor Phil is an e-learning professional who helps adult learners finish their degrees by teaching them academic writing skills.

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Good Manners Essay for Students and Children

500+ words essay on good manners.

Since our childhood, we were always taught good manners . Our parents always insisted us to enlist good manners. Moreover, they always tried their best to teach us everything to become a good human being . Good manners are important for a person to live in a society. Furthermore, if a person wants to be liked by everyone then he must know how to behave. The difference between an educated person and an illiterate person is not of knowledge. But the way he speaks and acts. So the presence of good manners can make a person gentleman. Yet if a person is lacking it then even the most educated person will not be a good man.

Good manners hold great importance in a persons’ life. In order to become successful in life, one should always take care of how he interacts. Various businessman and successful people are achieving heights. This is because of their good manners and skills. If a boss does not speak properly with his employees then they will leave the job. Therefore good manners are essential in any field of life.

Our parents have always taught us to respect our elders . Because if we won’t respect our elders then our Youngers will not respect us. Respect also comes in good manners. Respect is one of the most essential needs of a person. Moreover, many people work really hard to earn respect. Since I was a child I have always heard from my parents that respect is the utmost thing you should aim for. Therefore everyone deserves respect in life.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Division of Good manners can be done under two categories:-

Good Manners at School

In-School, a child should respect his teachers and seniors. Furthermore, he should listen to what the teacher is saying because they are his mentors. Moreover, the child should be well dressed and hygienic.

Furthermore, a child should always carry a handkerchief, in order to maintain hygiene . The child should always be punctual. So that he may not waste others time. Also, you should never take others’ things without permission. Since there are many children studying in the school, you should not push each other while standing in a queue.

Good Manners at Home

Most importantly, you should respect your parents at home. Always wish them “GOOD MORNING” and “GOOD NIGHT” at the beginning and end of the day. Moreover, you should brush your teeth and take a bath daily. So, you may maintain proper hygiene.

Wash hands before eating your meal, chew your food well and eat with mouth closed. Also, you should take permission from parents before going out of the house Above all, you make use of the words ‘Thank you’ and ‘Please’ in your speech.

Good manners at work for elders. You should respect your Co-workers. Also, you should try to complete yours on time. Furthermore, you should be punctual in the office. Do not gossip while working and do not distract others.

Moreover, you should not interfere in others’ work. Consider your junior employees and help them if they have any problem. At last, do not fall into corruption and do your work with honesty and diligence.

FAQs on the Good Manners

Q1.Why is the importance of good manners?

A1. In order to live in a society, one should have good manners. This maintains a peaceful environment and people will like you as a human being.

Q2.How can we enlist good manners in us?

A2. We can enlist good manners by reading books and learning from it. Moreover, you can also join personality development classes. They teach all the good manners and make you a better person.

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• Writing Tips

How to Write a Descriptive Paragraph About a Person (With Examples)

4-minute read

• 7th January 2023

Describing a person or character is difficult for even the most successful authors. It requires a balance of words to make sure they shine through without the language being too heavy. In this article, we’ll look at how to write a descriptive paragraph about a person, share some examples, and talk about different strategies.

1.   Brainstorm Your Ideas

Brainstorming is crucial to any writing process. It’s the process in which you think of ideas for what you’d like to write about. In this case, you’re writing a descriptive paragraph about a person. It’s important to use adjectives to describe the features or characteristics you want to focus on.

One way to come up with ideas for a descriptive paragraph about a person is to go through the five senses. Use the questions below to get some ideas for what you want to highlight about your person.

Appeal to your reader’s senses – smell, taste, sound, sight, and touch

Smell: How does the person smell? Do they wear perfume? Are they doing an activity that would make them have a certain smell?

Taste: Do you associate a certain food with this person? Does it make you think of a specific taste? Can you taste something due to a certain smell they have?

Sound: Do they have a unique voice or laugh? Are they doing an activity that has distinctive sounds?

Sight: What prominent features do they have? For example, think about their dressing style, their smile, or their surroundings. What do you see them doing in your mind when you see a photo of them? What memories do you have of this person? Does this person remind you of something or someone?

Touch: What textures do you see? For example, imagine their skin or clothing. How does it feel if you hug them?

2.   Begin With a Short and Snappy Sentence

Like with any type of writing, you want to hook your reader so that they want to continue reading. In this case, you can use a topic sentence, if appropriate, to introduce your reader to the person. For example:

Or, if you want to be more creative, you can reel them in with a short and snappy sentence about this person. This is called a writing hook . This sentence should focus on a stand-out detail or characteristic about the person you’re describing. For example:

3.   Describe the Person

Now, this is the hard part. But, if you’ve brainstormed plenty of ideas and know which ones you want to focus on, it will be easier. Let’s look at some examples to get a better idea of how to write a descriptive paragraph about a person using the prompt “describe a person you admire.”

Comments: This paragraph is pretty typical of most students. It gives lots of visual details of the person and uses a simile or two (“ Her eyes are like the color of honey” and “Her smile shines like the sun” ). While this strategy gets the job done, it’s not very exciting to read. In fact, it can be quite boring!

Let’s look at how we can rewrite this to make it more exciting.

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Comments: In this example, we focused on one defining characteristic of the person we are describing — her laugh. This strategy places more focus on the person you’re describing, rather than the adjectives you use to describe them.

4.   Edit and Revise

After you write your descriptive paragraph, be sure to read it over. Read it out loud. Read it in a funny voice. Doing this will help you to hear the words and identify which parts do not work or sound awkward.

5.   General Tips for Descriptive Writing

●  Avoid using too many descriptive words.

●  Remember to show the reader, not tell.

●  Appeal to the reader’s five senses – smell, touch, taste, sight, and sound.

●  Focus on a striking or defining characteristic.

●  Use contrasting details from other people or surroundings for emphasis.

●  Use literary devices (metaphors, similes etc.) sparingly and with intention.

●  Use a hook to reel your reader in.

●  Use a variety of short and long sentences.

●  Practice creative writing exercises to improve your descriptive writing skills.

●  Always edit and revise your writing.

If you need more help with writing a descriptive paragraph or essay , send your work to us! Our experts will proofread your first 500 words for free !

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Why I quit Goldman Sachs

I became a VP in six years. Then the 'boys only' culture drove me out.

Goldman Sachs has a problem.

Only 29% of the 2022 partner class was women — just slightly more than the previous two classes — and a flood of women leaders have recently taken their talents elsewhere . Dina Powell McCormick, head of sovereign business and sustainability efforts, left last year. Beth Hammack, a longtime partner, exited after she was passed over for the CFO role. Stephanie Cohen , once a likely CEO successor, left in March after 25 years. The Wall Street Journal recently reported that two-thirds of female partners had left or lost the title since 2018. The same was true for only 50% of male partners.

Two years ago, I joined the ranks of the women leaving Goldman. My career propelled me from an intern to a vice president in just six years, but it wasn't a walk in the park. I didn't feel like my innately feminine, sensitive self could cut it at Goldman, so I stashed her aside and stepped into an alternate persona. Under my desk, I would keep a pair of black pumps that I called my "Hollywood heels." When I put them on every morning, I channeled a thick-skinned character who thrived in a man's world.

It worked, but it was draining. Eventually, I decided I'd had enough; I left to write novels and build my own coaching and consulting business. It's been liberating to work in my authentic style, and it's made me realize how much of myself I was keeping small while at Goldman.

The lack of female leadership in the financial industry is nothing new, but many companies have been making strides. Citi has a female CEO and surpassed its 2022 goal to increase the number of women in leadership positions. Morgan Stanley has steadily increased its share of women in senior management. And two women are likely candidates to succeed JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon. But at Goldman, the problem has only gotten worse.

In 2023, Goldman paid $215 million to settle a lawsuit filed in 2010 that alleged it had discriminated against thousands of female employees. Earlier this year, CEO David Solomon told the Journal: "Advancing women into our most senior ranks is an area where we have not accomplished our goals." But as I watch senior women continue their exodus from Goldman, I'm not sure the company actually wants to change.

Bringing women in the door isn't Goldman's problem — in its most recent hiring report, 50% of its entry-level analysts were women. The problem is that it can't keep women, especially those in leadership roles, around.

In my first role, I was the only woman on a team of 20 investors. Without role models to reflect different ways to be a leader, I felt like I had to mimic the masculine way to succeed. I wore a pantsuit and muted my personality; I played golf, talked football, and cried in the bathroom stall so I wouldn't be seen shedding tears at my desk. My out-of-the-box ideas were discouraged. I was told to stick to the Excel templates and precisely formatted PowerPoint decks, and to stop using exclamation points in my emails. My schedule was whatever the male leadership pushed: 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. during the week and long hours most weekends.

Many financial firms have a rigid culture, but Goldman's takes it to the next level — and women tend to bear the brunt.

When I took my first week of vacation after being at Goldman for over a year, my manager lectured me for not replying to emails or updating financial models during my personal time off. I told him that I had been hiking off the grid with my mom and hadn't had much cell service. "Next time, choose a vacation spot with better reception," he told me. Jaw clenched, I agreed.

Many financial firms have a rigid culture, but Goldman's takes it to the next level — and women tend to bear the brunt. Take the firm's strict return-to-office policy as an example. While many companies have modernized to embrace hybrid and remote work , Goldman has not. This disproportionately hurts women, as research has found women are more likely to thrive and stay at companies longer when they have hybrid and flexible working environments. In a 2023 survey by International Workplace Group, 72% of women polled said they would look for a new job if their company took away their option for hybrid work. And a recent McKinsey survey found that two of the top priorities for the women in the poll when picking a job were the ability to work remotely and control when they work.

Rather than changing its "be in the office every day and grind it out" culture to better suit women, Goldman puts the onus on us to change ourselves to fit the model.

Jacki Zehner, a former Goldman partner turned CEO of the women's networking platform ShePlace, recently wrote about the company on LinkedIn. The biggest reason women leave, she said, is "not feeling valued."

This resonated with me. Feeling — and being — undervalued means women miss out on promotions. McKinsey calls this the "broken rung": For every 100 men promoted from an entry level role to manager in 2023, only 87 women were promoted, according to their survey of 27,000 workers in the US and Canada. This disparity out of the gate creates a leadership-pipeline problem down the road.

While leadership styles vary from person to person, research suggests that women and men tend to lead differently. In her book, "When Women Lead," the CNBC reporter Julia Boorstin says women are more likely to lead with empathy, vulnerability, gratitude, communal leadership, and a greater sense of purpose. Boorstin's reporting found that women were more likely than men to invest in mentorship and have more diverse teams. The differences translate to financial results: In a recent study, McKinsey found that companies with at least 30% female leaders tended to outperform financially.

Goldman says it understands the importance of female leadership. "When women lead, everything changes," its corporate site says. The company offers a women's network, encourages male allyship, and talks a big game about diversity. But Goldman leadership seems to want the benefits of gender diversity without the hard work of supporting diverse leadership styles. For all the talk, I never noticed it trickle down to how it actually felt to work there. My female coworkers and I talked about it frequently — Goldman was squandering our talents by making us conform to the small box of how finance was supposed to be done. It felt like they were glad to have recruited such bright, multidimensional women but had no interest in empowering our gifts.

When we contemplated what it would take to rise into the senior ranks, we knew we would be compromising too much.

As I moved up at Goldman, I tried to incorporate more of my true self at work, whether that meant letting out my bubbly laugh or writing a "Goldman Sachs joy newsletter" to boost morale. Many colleagues appreciated my style, especially when I worked for a year in the London office. But in New York, I met resistance. When colleagues found my poetry on Instagram, they made negative comments to me about how emotional the poems were. When I brought in cookies for my team, I was told I should have been building financial models instead of baking.

These are small examples, but that's where bias often lives — in the million little ways women are told to tweak themselves to be more like men. The implication is that our way is lesser. I became a VP at 28, but I was burned out — not from the work itself but from the parts of me I had to dim along the way. The internal balancing act pushed me out.

Nearly two dozen of my women friends at the VP and managing-director levels have also left Goldman to join companies — or start companies — where they have more freedom, whether that means hybrid work, greater autonomy, or the ability to be promoted based on the quality of their work, rather than who they knew.

Goldman was a great place for us to start our careers, but when we contemplated what it would take to rise into the senior ranks, we knew we would be compromising too much.

From what I've seen, the C-suite men who reinforce Goldman's culture generally have good intentions. They assume that because their way worked for them, everyone else should follow suit. But when a woman doesn't fit the typical pattern or mold for CEO or partner, she's passed over.

As more women leave Goldman, the business itself suffers. Data shows that companies in the top 10% financially have more women in leadership positions. These companies excel because their women leaders act differently. Sometimes they see things that others miss. Just look at the 2008 financial crash .

If Goldman can manage to grow its ranks of women leaders, more women will follow. Deloitte found that for each woman added to a financial firm's C-suite, there's a positive, quantifiable impact on the number of senior women in levels just below the C-suite. We all need role models to show us what's possible. Women like Asahi Pompey and Yassaman Salas, Goldman partners whose commitment to being themselves radiates like a superpower, and Rebecca Anderton-Davies , a managing director who also shines as an author and yogi, show me there's hope.

Since I left two years ago, Goldman has been good to me. They bought copies of my book and hosted me to speak with interns. But when one intern asked how I "brought my full self to work" — one of Goldman's favorite slogans — I sidestepped the question. The truth was, I didn't bring my full self. Most of the time, I kept my feminine side tucked away, and I was rewarded for it.

Since leaving, I've been able to let my full self shine. I delivered a TEDx talk comparing Wall Street dealmaking to modern dating — something I would not have had the autonomy to do if I were still at Goldman. And rather than matching my schedule to Goldman's rigid model, I'm able to honor the natural ebbs and flows of my productivity. My feminine side is no longer a liability; it's an asset. I lead creativity and breathwork workshops, write women-centered novels, and mentor clients to help them build their dream careers.

I'm grateful to Goldman for launching my career, but it has a lot of room for improvement. And until it turns things around, don't be surprised when talented women keep walking out. We know there are other places we can go.

Lindsay MacMillan is an author, speaker, and coach.

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Memorial Day is the unofficial start of summer. It's a time to gather with friends and family for a grill out, a picnic, or maybe a trip to the beach to soak up the sun. But while it may well feel like a day of celebration, what sometimes gets forgotten is that it was conceived as a day of commemoration for the brave military members who died serving their country.  

A University of Phoenix survey found that less than half of Americans polled knew the exact purpose of Memorial Day, while around a third were unsure of the difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day.

To clarify, Veterans Day, which takes place in November, is a tribute to all those who served honorably in the military in wartime or peacetime, whether living or dead.

The confusion is compounded by Armed Forces Day, a military celebration held in May for those currently serving. However, while the reasons differ, the sentiment of each day is the same: all three are important opportunities to show gratitude.

So, when you chow down on that hot dog, barrel down that slip 'n slide, or whatever you do for fun this Memorial Day, spare a moment to acknowledge the people in uniform whose sacrifice made a difference.

On this Memorial Day, watch the video for a surprise reunion of battle buddies bonded by the loss of their leade r

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If A.I. Can Do Your Job, Maybe It Can Also Replace Your C.E.O.

Chief executives are vulnerable to the same forces buffeting their employees. Leadership is important, but so is efficiency — and cost-cutting.

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By David Streitfeld

Reporting from San Francisco

As artificial intelligence programs shake up the office, potentially making millions of jobs obsolete, one group of perpetually stressed workers seems especially vulnerable.

These employees analyze new markets and discern trends, both tasks a computer could do more efficiently. They spend much of their time communicating with colleagues, a laborious activity that is being automated with voice and image generators. Sometimes they must make difficult decisions — and who is better at being dispassionate than a machine?

Finally, these jobs are very well paid, which means the cost savings of eliminating them is considerable.

The chief executive is increasingly imperiled by A.I., just like the writer of news releases and the customer service representative. Dark factories, which are entirely automated, may soon have a counterpart at the top of the corporation: dark suites.

This is not just a prediction. A few successful companies have begun to publicly experiment with the notion of an A.I. leader, even if at the moment it might largely be a branding exercise.

A.I. has been hyped as the solution to all corporate problems for about 18 months now, ever since OpenAI rolled out ChatGPT in November 2022. Silicon Valley put $29 billion last year into generative A.I. and is selling it hard. Even in its current rudimentary form, A.I. that mimics human reasoning is finding a foothold among distressed companies with little to lose and lacking strong leadership.

“In struggling companies, you’ll be replacing operational management first but probably keep a few humans to think beyond the machines,” said Saul J. Berman, a former senior consulting partner with IBM. Overall, he said, “the change delivered by A.I. in corporations will be as great or greater at the higher strategic levels of management as the lower ranks.”

Chief executives themselves seem enthusiastic about the prospect — or maybe just fatalistic.

EdX, the online learning platform created by administrators at Harvard and M.I.T. that is now a part of publicly traded 2U Inc., surveyed hundreds of chief executives and other executives last summer about the issue. Respondents were invited to take part and given what edX called “a small monetary incentive” to do so.

The response was striking. Nearly half — 47 percent — of the executives surveyed said they believed “most” or “all” of the chief executive role should be completely automated or replaced by A.I. Even executives believe executives are superfluous in the late digital age.

When Anant Agarwal, the founder of edX and a former director of M.I.T.’s Computer Science and A.I. Lab, first saw the 47 percent, his initial response was that the executives should be saying something else entirely.

“My first instinct is they would say, ‘Replace all the employees but not me,’” he said. “But I thought more deeply and would say 80 percent of the work that a C.E.O. does can be replaced by A.I.”

That includes writing, synthesizing, exhorting the employees. More subtly, A.I. — if it reaches any of the levels its salespeople are promising — will democratize the job of top management even while scaling it back.

“There used to be a curve of people who were good with numerical skills and those who were not,” Mr. Agarwal said. “Then the calculator came along and was the great equalizer. I believe A.I. will do the same thing for literacy. Everybody could be C.E.O.”

Working for the robots has been a long time coming, at least in the realm of popular culture. Perhaps the first use of the phrase “robot-boss” was in 1939 in a story by David C. Cooke in a pulp magazine called simply Science Fiction. It was not an empowering tale of mentorship and mutual support.

“Remember,” the robot-boss says, “my photon gun will shoot faster than you can run, so don’t try to get away.”

Many science fiction stories and movies followed that portrayed the human-machine relationship in an equally dark light. Nevertheless, real people seemed to perversely warm to the idea. In a 2017 survey of 1,000 British workers commissioned by an online accounting firm, 42 percent said they would be “comfortable” taking orders from a computer.

Long before the current A.I. boom, Jack Ma, then the chief executive of the Chinese e-commerce company Alibaba, predicted that in 30 years “a robot will likely be on the cover of Time magazine as the best C.E.O.” He pointed out that robots were quicker and more rational than humans, and were not driven by emotions like anger.

The Chinese online game company NetDragon Websoft, which has 5,000 employees, appointed what it calls an “A.I.-driven rotating C.E.O.” named Tang Yu in 2022. “We believe A.I. is the future of corporate management,” said the company’s founder, Dejian Liu, adding that it was part of NetDragon’s move into the “metaverse-based working community.”

Tang Yu, who is personified as a woman, does not appear on an online chart of NetDragon’s management team, but the company announced last month that she had won “the coveted title of ‘China’s Best Virtual Employee of the Year’” at the China Digital Human Industry Forum. Another executive picked up the award for her. NetDragon’s A.I. employee team is in charge of performance evaluations and mentoring, among other duties, the company says.

On the other side of the world, the upscale Polish rum company Dictador announced in November that it had an A.I. humanoid C.E.O., Mika. She proclaimed on LinkedIn that she was “devoid of personal bias, ensuring unbiased and strategic choices that prioritize the organization’s best interests.”

Executives with the National Association of Chief Executive Officers might have something to say about this trend — if only to deny it — but its website does not list any actual human beings affiliated with the group. A message sent through a “contact us” prompt received no reply.

A.I. experts, the human kind, cautioned that we are still at the beginning of any transition but said this is a natural progression.

“We’ve always outsourced effort. Now we’re outsourcing intelligence,” said Vinay Menon, who leads the global A.I. practice at the consultant Korn Ferry. He warned that “while you may not need the same number of leaders, you will still need leadership.”

For one thing, humans provide accountability in a way that machines do not. “A.I. may be exploited by some as a way to shield folks from having to take fiduciary responsibility,” said Sean Earley, a managing director of the executive consulting firm Teneo. “At what point does it become culpable for a mistake?”

“Never” was the position one company took in court recently. A customer brought a case against Air Canada for declining to give the bereavement fare reduction that a chatbot on the airline’s site had promised. The customer took his complaint to a small claims tribunal. Air Canada argued in its defense that it cannot be held liable for information provided by one of its agents, servants or representatives — including a chatbot.

The judge ruled against the airline and in favor of the passenger in February, but the specter of a company’s arguing that its own A.I. could not be trusted did not bode well for A.I. management teams. Air Canada declined to comment.

Much of the discussion over the last year about A.I. in the workplace has revolved around how rank-and-file employees are at risk unless they incorporate new technology into their jobs — without, of course, letting their jobs become A.I. Automation historically puts workers at risk even as it benefits investors and managers.

Now the tables are turned. Researchers speculate that automation on the executive level could even help lower-level workers.

“Someone who is already quite advanced in their career and is already fairly self-motivated may not need a human boss anymore,” said Phoebe V. Moore, professor of management and the futures of work at the University of Essex Business School. “In that case, software for self-management can even enhance worker agency.”

The pandemic prepared people for this. Many office workers worked from home in 2020, and quite a few still do, at least several days a week. Communication with colleagues and executives is done through machines. It’s just a small step to communicating with a machine that doesn’t have a person at the other end of it.

“Some people like the social aspects of having a human boss,” Ms. Moore said. “But after Covid, many are also fine with not having one.”

David Streitfeld writes about technology and the people who make it and how it affects the world around them. He is based in San Francisco. More about David Streitfeld

Explore Our Coverage of Artificial Intelligence

News  and Analysis

OpenAI said that it has begun training a new flagship A.I. model  that would succeed the GPT-4 technology that drives its popular online chatbot, ChatGPT.

Elon Musk’s A.I. company, xAI, said that it had raised $6 billion , helping to close the funding gap with OpenAI, Anthropic and other rivals.

Google’s A.I. capabilities that answer people’s questions have generated a litany of untruths and errors  — including recommending glue as part of a pizza recipe and the ingesting of rocks for nutrients — causing a furor online.

The Age of A.I.

D’Youville University in Buffalo had an A.I. robot speak at its commencement . Not everyone was happy about it.

A new program, backed by Cornell Tech, M.I.T. and U.C.L.A., helps prepare lower-income, Latina and Black female computing majors  for A.I. careers.

Publishers have long worried that A.I.-generated answers on Google would drive readers away from their sites. They’re about to find out if those fears are warranted, our tech columnist writes .

A new category of apps promises to relieve parents of drudgery, with an assist from A.I.  But a family’s grunt work is more human, and valuable, than it seems.

The Big AI Risk Not Enough People Are Seeing

Beware technology that makes us less human.

“Our focus with AI is to help create more healthy and equitable relationships.” Whitney Wolfe Herd, the founder and executive chair of the dating app Bumble, leans in toward her Bloomberg Live interviewer. “How can we actually teach you how to date?”

When her interviewer, apparently bemused, asks for an example of what this means, Herd launches into a mind-bending disquisition on the future of AI-abetted dating: “Okay, so for example, you could in the near future be talking to your AI dating concierge, and you could share your insecurities. ‘I just came out of a breakup. I have commitment issues.’ And it could help you train yourself into a better way of thinking about yourself. And then it could give you productive tips for communicating with other people. If you want to get really out there, there is a world where your dating concierge could go and date for you with other dating concierges.” When her audience lets out a peal of uneasy laughter, the CEO continues undeterred, heart-shape earrings bouncing with each sweep of her hands. “No, no, truly. And then you don’t have to talk to 600 people. It will then scan all of San Francisco for you and say, These are the three people you really ought to meet. ”

What Herd provides here is much more than a darkly whimsical peek into a dystopian future of online dating. It’s a window into a future in which people require layer upon layer of algorithmic mediation between them in order to carry out the most basic of human interactions: those involving romance, sex, friendship, comfort, food. Implicit in Herd’s proclamation—that her app will “ teach you how to date”—is the assumption that AI will soon understand proper human behavior in ways that human beings do not. Despite Herd’s insistence that such a service would empower us, what she’s actually describing is the replacement of human courtship rituals: Your digital proxy will go on innumerable dates for you, so you don’t have to practice anything so pesky as flirting and socializing.

Read: America is sick of swiping

Hypothetical AI dating concierges sound silly, and they are not exactly humanity’s greatest threat. But we might do well to think of the Bumble founder’s bubbly sales pitch as a canary in the coal mine, a harbinger of a world of algorithms that leave people struggling to be people without assistance. The new AI products coming to market are gate-crashing spheres of activity that were previously the sole province of human beings. Responding to these often disturbing developments requires a principled way of disentangling uses of AI that are legitimately beneficial and prosocial from those that threaten to atrophy our life skills and independence. And that requires us to have a clear idea of what makes human beings human in the first place.

In 1977, Ivan Illich, an Austrian-born philosopher, vagabond priest , and ruthless critic of metastatic bureaucracies, declared that we had entered “the age of Disabling Professions.” Modernity was characterized, in Illich’s view, by the standardization and professionalization of everyday life. Activities that were once understood to be within the competencies of laypeople—say, raising children or bandaging the wounded—were suddenly brought under the purview of technical experts who claimed to possess “secret knowledge,” bestowed by training and elite education, that was beyond the ken of the untutored masses. The licensed physician displaced the local healer. Child psychologists and their “cutting edge” research superseded parents and their instincts. Data-grubbing nutritionists replaced the culinary wisdom of grandmothers.

Illich’s singular insight was that the march of professional reason—the transformation of Western civilization into a technocratic enterprise ruled by what we now call “best practices”—promised to empower us but actually made us incompetent, dependent on certified experts to make decisions that were once the jurisdiction of the common man. “In any area where a human need can be imagined,” Illich wrote , “these new professions, dominant, authoritative, monopolistic, legalized—and, at the same time, debilitating and effectively disabling the individual—have become exclusive experts of the public good.” Modern professions inculcate the belief not only that their credentialed representatives can solve your problems for you, but also that you are incapable of solving said problems for yourself. In the case of some industries, like medicine, this is plainly a positive development. Other examples, like the ballooning wellness industry, are far more dubious.

If the entrenchment of specialists in science, schooling, child-rearing, and so on is among the pivotal developments of the 20th century, the rise of online dating is among the most significant of the 21st. But one key difference between this more recent advancement and those of yesteryear is that websites such as Tinder and Hinge are defined not by disabling professionals with fancy degrees, but by disabling algorithms . The white-coated expert has been replaced by digital services that cut out the human middleman and replace him with an (allegedly) even smarter machine, one that promises to know you better than you know yourself.

Faith Hill: ‘Nostalgia for a dating experience they’ve never had’

And it’s not just dating apps. Supposed innovations including machine-learning-enhanced meal-kit companies such as HelloFresh, Spotify recommendations, and ChatGPT suggest that we have entered the Age of Disabling Algorithms as tech companies simultaneously sell us on our existing anxieties and help nurture new ones. At the heart of it all is the kind of AI bait-and-switch peddled by the Bumble CEO. Algorithms are now tooled to help you develop basic life skills that decades ago might have been taken as a given: How to date. How to cook a meal. How to appreciate new music. How to write and reflect. Like an episode out of Black Mirror , the machines have arrived to teach us how to be human even as they strip us of our humanity. We have reason to be worried.

As conversations over the dangers of artificial intelligence have heated up over the past 18 months—largely thanks to the meteoric rise of large language models like ChatGPT—the focus of both the media and Silicon Valley has been on Skynet scenarios. The primary fear is that chat models may experience an “intelligence explosion” as they are scaled up, meaning that LLMs might proceed rapidly from artificial intelligence to artificial general intelligence to artificial superintelligence (ASI) that is both smarter and more powerful than even the smartest human beings. This is often called the “fast takeoff” scenario, and the concern is that if ASI slips out of humanity’s control—and how could it not—it might choose to wipe out our species, or even enslave us.

These AI “existential risk” debates—at least the ones being waged in public —have taken on a zero-sum quality: They are almost exclusively between those who believe that the aforementioned Terminator-style dangers are real, and others who believe that these are Hollywood-esque fantasies that distract the public from more sublunar AI-related problems, like algorithmic discrimination , autonomous weapons systems , or ChatGPT-facilitated cheating . But this is a false binary, one that excludes another possibility: Artificial intelligence could significantly diminish humanity, even if machines never ascend to superintelligence, by sapping the ability of human beings to do human things.

The epochal impact of online dating is there for all to see in a simple line graph from a 2019 study . It shows the explosive growth of online dating since 1995, the year that Match.com, the world’s first online-dating site, was launched . That year, only 2 percent of heterosexual couples reported meeting online. By 2017, that figure had jumped to 39 percent as other ways of meeting—through friends or family, at work or in church—declined precipitously.

Besides online dating, the only way of meeting that increased during this period was meeting at a bar or restaurant. However, the authors of the study noted that this ostensible increase was a mirage: The “apparent post-2010 rise in meeting through bars and restaurants for heterosexual couples is due entirely to couples who met online and subsequently had a first in-person meeting at a bar or restaurant or other establishment where people gather and socialize. If we exclude the couples who first met online from the bar/restaurant category, the bar/restaurant category was significantly declining after 1995 as a venue for heterosexual couples to meet.” In other words, online dating has become hegemonic. The wingman is out. Digital matchmaking is in.

But even those selling online-dating services seem to know there’s something unsettling about the idea that algorithms, rather than human beings, are now spearheading human romance. A bizarre Tinder ad from last fall featured the rapper Coi Leray playing the role of Cupid, perched on an ominously pink stage, tasked with finding a date for a young woman. A coterie of associates, dressed in Hunger Games chic, grilled a series of potential suitors as Cupid swiped left until the perfect match was found. These characters put human faces on an inhuman process.

Leif Weatherby, an expert on the history of AI development and the author of a forthcoming book on large language models, told me that ads like this are a neat distillation of Silicon Valley’s marketing playbook. “We’re seeing a general trend of selling AI as ‘empowering,’ a way to extend your ability to do something, whether that’s writing, making investments, or dating,” Weatherby explained. “But what really happens is that we become so reliant on algorithmic decisions that we lose oversight over our own thought processes and even social relationships. The rhetoric of AI empowerment is sheep’s clothing for Silicon Valley wolves who are deliberately nurturing the public’s dependence on their platforms.” Curtailing human independence, then, is not a bug, but a feature of the AI gold rush.

Of course, there is an extent to which this nurtured dependence isn’t unique to AI, but is an inevitable by-product of innovation. The broad uptake of any new technology generally atrophies the human skills for the processes that said technology makes more efficient or replaces outright. The advent of the vacuum was no doubt accompanied by a corresponding decline in the average American’s deftness with a broom. The difference between technologies of convenience, like the vacuum or the washing machine, and platforms like Tinder or ChatGPT is that the latter are concerned with atrophying competencies, like romantic socializing or thinking and reflection, that are fundamental to what it is to be a human being.

Read: AI has lost its magic

The response to our algorithmically remade world can’t simply be that algorithms are bad, sensu stricto. Such a stance isn’t just untenable at a practical level—algorithms aren’t going anywhere—but it also undermines unimpeachably positive use cases, such as the employment of AI in cancer diagnosis . Instead, we need to adopt a more sophisticated approach to artificial intelligence, one that allows us to distinguish between uses of AI that legitimately empower human beings and those—like hypothetical AI dating concierges—that wrest core human activities from human control. But making these distinctions requires us to re-embrace an old idea that tends to leave those of us on the left rather squeamish: human nature.

Both Western intellectuals and the progressive public tend to be hostile to the idea that there is a universal “human nature,” a phrase that now has right-wing echoes . Instead, those on the left prefer to emphasize the diversity, and equality, of varying human cultural traditions. But this discomfort with adopting a strong definition of human nature compromises our ability to draw red lines in a world where AI encroaches on human territory. If human nature doesn’t exist, and if there is no core set of fundamental human activities, desires, or traits, on what basis can we argue against the outsourcing of those once-human endeavors to machines? We can’t take a stand against the infiltration of algorithms into the human estate if we don’t have a well-developed sense of which activities make humans human , and which activities—like sweeping the floor or detecting pancreatic cancer —can be outsourced to nonhuman surrogates without diminishing our agency.

One potential way out of this impasse is offered by the so-called capability approach to human flourishing developed by the philosopher Martha Nussbaum and others. In rejection of the kind of knee-jerk cultural relativism that often prevails in progressive political thought, Nussbaum’s work insists that advocating for the poor or marginalized, at home or abroad, requires us to agree on universal “basic human capabilities” that citizens should be able to develop. Nussbaum includes among these basic capabilities “being able to imagine, to think, and to reason” and “to engage in various forms of familial and social interaction.” A good society, according to the capability approach, is one in which human beings are not just theoretically free to engage in these basic human endeavors, but are actually capable of doing so.

As AI is built into an ever-expanding roster of products and services, covering dating, essay writing, and music and recipe recommendations, we need to be able to make granular, rational decisions about which uses of artificial intelligence expand our basic human capabilities, and which cultivate incompetence and incapacity under the guise of empowerment. Disabling algorithms are disabling precisely because they leave us less capable of, and more anxious about, carrying out essential human behaviors.

Of course, some will object to the idea that there is any such thing as fundamental human activities. They may even argue that describing behaviors like dating and making friends, critical thinking, or cooking as central to the human condition is ableist or otherwise bigoted. After all, some people are asexual or introverted. Others with mental disabilities might not be adept at reflection, or written or oral communication. Some folks simply do not want to cook, an activity which is historically gendered besides. But this objection relies on a sleight of hand. Identifying certain activities as fundamental to the human enterprise does not require you to believe that those who don’t or can’t engage in them are inhuman, just as embracing the idea that the human species is bipedal does not require you to believe that people born without legs lack full personhood. It only asks that you acknowledge that there are some endeavors that are vital aspects of the human condition, taken in the aggregate, and that a society where people broadly lack these capacities is not a good one.

Without some minimal agreement as to what those basic human capabilities are—what activities belong to the jurisdiction of our species, not to be usurped by machines—it becomes difficult to pin down why some uses of artificial intelligence delight and excite, while others leave many of us feeling queasy.

What makes many applications of artificial intelligence so disturbing is that they don’t expand our mind’s capacity to think, but outsource it. AI dating concierges would not enhance our ability to make romantic connections with other humans, but obviate it. In this case, technology diminishes us, and that diminishment may well become permanent if left unchecked. Over the long term, human beings in a world suffused with AI-enablers will likely prove less capable of engaging in fundamental human activities: analyzing ideas and communicating them, forging spontaneous connections with others, and the like. While this may not be the terrifying, robot-warring future imagined by the Terminator movies, it would represent another kind of existential catastrophe for humanity.

Whether or not the Bumble founder’s dream of artificial-intelligence-induced dalliances ever comes to fruition is an open question, but it is also somewhat beside the point. What should give us real pause is the understanding of AI, now ubiquitous in Big Tech, that underlies her dystopian prognostications. Silicon Valley leaders have helped make a world in which people feel that everyday social interactions, whether dating or making simple phone calls, require expert advice and algorithmic assistance. AI threatens to turbocharge this process. Even if your personalized dating concierge is not here yet, the sales pitch for them has already arrived, and that sales pitch is almost as dangerous as the technology itself: AI will teach you how to be a human.