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15 College Essays That Worked

College essay examples: 15 that worked.

Bonus Material: 35 College Essay Examples

In this regularly updated post, we share the college essays that helped students get into their dream schools — including Ivy League colleges like Princeton, Harvard, Yale, and others.

But this isn’t simply a collection of college essay examples.

We also provide a link to in-depth profiles of the authors who wrote the essays, providing you with the most comprehensive picture available of the nation’s most successful applicants.

While you should always craft the best essay you are capable of, please remember that the essay is one component of the application process!  The essays you’ll read below are all of varying quality, but each one of these students gained admission to the most selective schools in the country.

You can download our collection of 35 successful College Essays below!

Download 35 College Essay Examples

Here’s what we cover in this post:

What is the College Essay? Our Expert Definition

• College Essay Example #1 – “It takes more than wishing upon a star”
• College Essay Example #2 – “I am an aspiring hot sauce sommelier”
• College Essay Example #3 – “You know nothing, Jon Snow”
• College Essay Example #4 – “I’m still questioning”
• College Essay Example #5 – “My place of inner peace”
• College Essay Example #6 – “So this is what compassion is all about”
• College Essay Example #7 – “I believe that every person is molded by their experiences”
• College Essay Example #8 – The California Cadet Corps
• College Essay Example #9 – “I never want to lose what we had in that corner”
• College Essay Example #10 – “It is the effort that counts, not the result”
• College Essay Example #11 – “The problem of social integration”
• College Essay Example #12 – “Improv”
• College Essay Example #13 – “ The Sound of Music”
• College Essay Example #14 – “Translation”
• College Essay Example #15 – “ The Yoka Times”

What These College Essay Examples Have in Common

• How to Write an Essay Like These Examples
• Bonus: 35 College Essay Examples

Most students will use the Common App to apply to U.S. colleges and universities. A smaller number of colleges require students to submit applications through Coalition .

Regardless, both platforms require students to submit a personal statement or essay response as part of their application. Students choose to respond to one of the following prompts in 650 words or fewer .

College Essay Prompts 2023-2024

What do these questions all have in common? They all require answers that are introspective, reflective, and personal.

Take a look at some of these buzzwords from these prompts to see what we mean:

• Understanding
• Belief / Idea
• Contribution

These are big words attached to big, personal concepts. That’s the point!

But because that’s the case, that means the college essay is not an academic essay. It’s not something you write in five paragraphs for English class. Nor is it a formal statement, an outline of a resume, or a list of accomplishments.

It’s something else entirely.

The college essay is a personal essay that tells an engaging story in 650 words or fewer. It is comparable to memoir or creative nonfiction writing, which relate the author’s personal experiences.

The college essay is fundamentally personal and creative. It is rich with introspection, reflection, and statements of self-awareness. It can have elements of academic writing in it, such as logical organization, thesis statements, and transition words. But it is not an academic essay that fits comfortably into five paragraphs.

Your task with the college essay is to become a storyteller–and, in the process, provide admissions officers with a valuable glimpse into your world, perspective, and/or experiences.

One of the easiest ways to understand what the personal statement is all about is to read through some college essay examples — essays that exemplify the 7 qualities of a successful college essay .

The 15 college essay examples below do just that!

COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE #1 – It Takes More Than Wishing Upon a Star

Author: Erica Class Year: Princeton University 2020 Type of Essay: Common Application Personal Statement School Acceptances: Princeton University, Harvard University, Williams College, Duke University, College of William & Mary, Davidson College, Boston College, Johns Hopkins University, Texas Christian University

At eleven years old, I wrote the New York Times best-selling novel, The Chosen, the first installation in a trilogy that would become the newest sensation of the fantasy genre, and grow to be even more popular than the Harry Potter series. At least, that what I originally imagined as I feverishly typed the opening words of my manuscript. I had just received a call from my parents, who were on a business trip in London. While touring the city, they heard about an amateur novel writing contest open to all ages, and thought that I, as an amateur writer, would be interested. All I had to do was compose an original manuscript of merely 80,000 words and submit it to an office in London, and I could win $20,000 in addition to a publishing deal.

I hung up the phone with a smile plastered on my face. Never mind that I was barely eleven, that my portfolio consisted of a few half-page poems from elementary school, or that the contest was taking place on another continent, I was determined to write the most extraordinary fantasy novel ever created. For months afterward the sight of me was accompanied by the tap, tap, tap of my fingers flying across the keyboard, and the sharp glint of obsession in my eyes. The contest in London closed, a winner was chosen. I didn’t care. I kept writing. After a year I had stretched my writing project into a three hundred page novel. I scraped together a few dollars of allowance money, slapped it in my mom’s hand, and asked her to have Staples print a bound copy of the manuscript.

She handed me my magnum opus when I got home from school that day. I ran my fingers across the shiny laminate over the cover page, caressed the paper as if it were some sacred tome. After more than fourteen months fleshing out characters and cultivating mythologies, I was ready to publish. With the copy in hand I ran to my dad. “Read it and tell me what you think!” I said, imagining the line of publishing companies that would soon be knocking down my door.

Within two weeks my father handed it back to me, the pages now scrawled over in bright red ink. “You’ve got a lot of work to do,” he told me, with his typical soul-wrenching brusque.

I stared at him for a moment, jaw locked tight, eyes nearly brimming with tears. He proceeded to list for me all the things I needed to revise for my next draft. Less colloquial dialogue, vivid descriptions, more complex subplots, the list went on and on.

“A serious author doesn’t get offended by constructive criticism,” he said, “whether you take my advice or not will prove whether or not you are one.”

My dreams fell like the Berlin wall. What was the point of slaving over a novel if I had to start from scratch again? My father’s advice would force me to rewrite the entire novel. What sort of writer was I, that my work warranted such substantial alteration?

As I soon learned—a normal one.

Today, six years, 10 drafts, and 450 pages later, I am finally close to finishing. Sometimes, when I’m feeling insecure about my ability as a novelist I open up my first draft again, turn to a random chapter, and read it aloud. Publishing that first draft would have been a horrible embarrassment that would have haunted me for the rest of my life. Over the past half-decade, I’ve been able to explore my own literary voice, and develop a truly original work that I will be proud to display. This experience taught me that “following your dreams” requires more than just wishing upon a star. It takes sacrifice, persistence, and grueling work to turn fantasy into reality.

[ Want to learn more about the author of this essay? Check out Erica’s story here ]

COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE #2 – I am an aspiring hot sauce sommelier

Author: Elizabeth Class Year: Princeton University 2021 Type of Essay: Common Application Personal Statement School Acceptances: Princeton University, Duke University, Northwestern University, Cornell University, University of Virginia, University of North Carolina, University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, University of California Berkeley, University of Michigan

I am an aspiring hot sauce sommelier. Ever since I was a child, I have been in search for all that is spicy. I began by dabbling in peppers of the jarred variety. Pepperoncini, giardiniera, sports peppers, and jalapeños became not only toppings, but appetizers, complete entrées, and desserts. As my palate matured, I delved into a more aggressive assortment of spicy fare. I’m not referring to Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, the crunchy snack devoured by dilettantes. No, it was bottles of infernal magma that came next in my tasting curriculum.

Despite the current lack of certification offered for the profession which I am seeking, I am unquestionably qualified. I can tell you that a cayenne pepper sauce infused with hints of lime and passion fruit is the perfect pairing to bring out the subtle earthy undertones of your microwave ramen. I can also tell you that a drizzle of full-bodied Louisiana habanero on my homemade vanilla bean ice cream serves as an appetizing complement. For the truly brave connoisseur, I suggest sprinkling a few generous drops of Bhut Jolokia sauce atop a bowl of chili. Be warned, though; one drop too many and you might find yourself like I did, crying over a heaping bowl of kidney beans at the dining room table.

Although I consistently attempt to cultivate the rarest and most expertly crafted bottles of molten spice, like an oenophile who occasionally sips on five dollar bottles of wine, I am neither fussy nor finicky. I have no qualms about dousing my omelets with Cholula, dipping my tofu in pools of Sriracha, or soaking my vegetarian chicken nuggets in the Frank’s Red Hot that my mom bought from the dollar store. No matter the quality or cost, when gently swirled, wafted, and swished; the sauces excite my senses. Each initial taste, both surprising yet subtly familiar, has taught me the joy of the unknown and the possibility contained within the unexpected.

My ceaseless quest for piquancy has inspired many journeys, both gustatory and otherwise. It has dragged me into the depths of the souks of Marrakech, where I purchased tin cans filled with Harissa. Although the chili sauce certainly augmented the robust aroma of my tagine, my food was not the only thing enriched by this excursion. My conquest has also brought me south, to the valleys of Chile, where I dined among the Mapuche and flavored my empanadas with a smoky seasoning of Merkén. Perhaps the ultimate test of my sensory strength occurred in Kolkata, India. After making the fatal mistake of revealing my penchant for spicy food to my friend’s grandmother, I spent the night with a raw tongue and cold sweats. I have learned that spice isn’t always easy to digest. It is the distilled essence of a culture, burning with rich history. It is a universal language that communicates passion, pain, and renewal. Like an artfully concocted hot sauce, my being contains alternating layers of sweetness and daring which surround a core that is constantly being molded by my experiences and adventures.

I’m not sure what it is about spiciness that intrigues me. Maybe my fungiform papillae are mapped out in a geography uniquely designed to appreciate bold seasonings. Maybe these taste buds are especially receptive to the intricacies of the savors and zests that they observe. Or maybe it’s simply my burning sense of curiosity. My desire to challenge myself, to stimulate my mind, to experience the fullness of life in all of its varieties and flavors.

[ Want to learn more about the author of this essay? Check out Elizabeth’s story here ]

COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE #3 – “You know nothing, Jon Snow”

Author: Shanaz Class Year: Princeton University 2021 Type of Essay: Common Application Personal Statement School Acceptances: Princeton University, Duke University, Williams College, Boston College, Brandeis University, SUNY Binghamton, SUNY Stony Brook

“You know nothing, Jon Snow”

Being an avid Game of Thrones fanatic, I fancy every character, scene, and line. However,Ygritte’s famous line proves to be just slightly more relatable than the incest, corruption, and sorcery that characterizes Westeros.

Numerous theories explore the true meaning of these five words, but I prefer to think they criticize seventeen-year-old Jon’s lack of life experience. Growing up in a lord’s castle, he has seen little about the real world; thus, he struggles to see the bigger picture until he evaluates all angles.

Being in a relatively privileged community myself, I can affirm the lack of diverse perspectives —and even more, the scarcity of real-world problems. Instead, my life has been horrifically plagued by first world problems. I’ve written a eulogy and held a funeral for my phone charger.

I’ve thrown tantrums when my knitted sweaters shrunk in the dryer. And yes, I actually have cried over spilled (organic) milk.

Well, shouldn’t I be happy with the trivial “problems” I’ve faced? Shouldn’t I appreciate the opportunities and the people around me?

Past the “feminism v. menimism” and “memes” of the internet, are heartbreaking stories and photos of life outside my metaphorical “Bethpage Bubble.” How can I be content when I am utterly oblivious to the perspectives of others? Like Jon Snow, I’ve never lived a day in another person’s shoes.

Fewer than three meals a day. No extra blanket during record-breaking winter cold. No clean water. I may be parched after an intense practice, but I know nothing of poverty.

Losing a loved one overseas. Being forced to leave your home. Coups d’état and dictatorial governments. I battle with my peers during class discussions, but I know nothing of war.

Denial of education. Denial of religion. Denial of speech. I have an endless list of freedoms, and I know nothing of oppression.

Malaria. Cholera. Cancer. I watch how Alzheimer’s progresses in my grandmother, but I know nothing of disease.

Living under a strict caste system. Being stereotyped because of one’s race. Unwarranted prejudice. I may be in a minority group, yet I know nothing of discrimination.

Flappers, speakeasies, and jazz. Two world wars. Pagers, hippies, and disco. I’m barely a 90’s kid who relishes SpongeBob episodes, and I know nothing of prior generations.

Royal weddings, tribal ceremonies, and Chinese New Years. I fast during Ramadan, but I know nothing of other cultures.

Hostile political parties. Progressive versus retrospective. Right and wrong. I am seventeen, and I know nothing of politics.

Is ignorance really bliss?

Beyond my community and lifetime exists myriad events I’ll never witness, people I’ll never meet, and beliefs I’ll never understand. Being unexposed to the culture and perspectives that comprise this world, I know I can never fully understand anyone or anything. Yet, irony is beautiful.

Embarking on any career requires making decisions on behalf of a community, whether that be a group of students, or a patient, or the solar system.

I am pleased to admit like Jon Snow, I know nothing, but that will change in college.

[ Want to learn more about the author of this essay? Check out Shanaz’s story here ]

COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE #4 – “I’m still questioning”

Author: Aja Class Year: Princeton University 2020 Type of Essay: Common Application Personal Statement – Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again? School Acceptances: Princeton University, MIT, University of Maryland, Stern College for Women, Queens College and City College

I walked down the pale pink stone pathway, up a ramp, past the library building, and towards the Student Activities Center of the college campus, carrying a large brown cardboard box. People might’ve taken note of the load I was carrying, and particularly the other high school students with whom I ate my dinner. Out of the box I grabbed my meal, which was wrapped in two separate plastic airplane meal style trays; one container for the side and one for the main. I tried not to call attention to myself as I unwrapped the tight double wrapping of plastic around both trays.

My actions and practices were the same, but for the first time I stood out. While I was eating my meals, in the lab, or during the lectures, I began to ask myself some questions.

Was it worth continuing to strictly observe my customs in such an environment?  I thought.

Could I afford to take time away from the lab to walk to the kosher restaurant to pick up lunch? Was continuing to dress in a long skirt, on hot summer days and with additional lab dress codes, worth the discomfort? Was it worth standing out from most other people?

The science experiment that I performed that summer in a way mirrored the experiment that I “performed” to test my practices. My lab partner and I researched the current issue of antibiotic resistant bacteria strains, which left certain bacterial infections without an effective cure; this was our observation. We then hypothesized that an alternative mechanism of destruction, by physically slicing the bacterial membrane, would be more efficient. Similarly, I hypothesized that an alternative life path without my religious practices might be an “effective” life path for me, as it had been for the students that I met, with the added social benefits of fitting in. I hypothesized that perhaps my own life would be “effective” or fulfilling without these practices, as it was for the students whom I had met. Wearing our purple nitrite gloves, our safety goggles pressing against our faces, my partner and I began to prepare our tiny metal chips, containing a thin coating of polymer blends, which would prick the membranes of the bacteria cells.

In my personal experiment, the “testing” stage became tricky. I didn’t put on my lab coat, and start spin casting my solutions or pipetting liquids onto surfaces. I didn’t even try eating some food that was not kosher, or actively violate my practices. My experiment eventually went beyond the scientific approach, as I questioned in my thoughts. I had to determine what my beliefs meant to me, to find my own answer. I could not simply interpret results of an experiment, but needed to find my own interpretations.

I found from my experiment and questioning within my mind that my practices distinguished me from others, thereby allowing me to form relationships on the basis of common interest or personality, rather than cultural similarities, that summer. I valued the relationships more, and formed a deep connection with my lab partner, whom I had found was similar to me in many ways. We talked about our very different lives, genuinely interested in one another’s.

I’m still questioning, and I think the process does not end, which is part of what makes my religious practice important to me – it urges me to constantly reflect on my values and the moral quality of my actions. I’m not sure if I’ll ever finish that “experiment,” but by experiencing and valuing the practices and lifestyles of other people, I also got to reflect on my own. That summer showed me that the questions themselves proved my practices were valuable to me, and left me with a stronger commitment to my religious faith than I had before.

[ Want to learn more about the author of this essay? Check out Aja’s story here ]

You can read our collection of 35 essays that earned students acceptance into top-tier colleges. Grab these for free below!

COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE #5 – My place of inner peace

Author: Jim Class Year: Princeton University 2019 Type of Essay: Common Application Personal Statement School Acceptances: Princeton University

Simply put, my place of inner peace is the seat of that 50 foot sliver of carbon and kevlar called a rowing shell, cutting through the water in the middle of a race. This is the one situation in which I find myself to be completely comfortable; the one environment in which I feel most empowered, at home, and content, despite it being quite at odds with the conventional definition of the word “comfortable”. There is something special about a rowing race; that 6 minute, 2000 meter tour de force that many who have truly experienced one (and all who have emerged victorious) will describe as the most painful, and yet the most thrilling activity they have ever been a part of.

The pain of rowing 2000 meters is like nothing else I have ever experienced. It is a short enough distance so that there is no pacing (it’s all out, everything you’ve got, from start to finish), but at the same time it’s long enough to require every ounce of strength and will power to reach the finish. By the end, the lungs scream out for oxygen, and the legs, chest, and arms all burn as if boiling water has been injected into every pore. The mental toughness required to drag oneself through this ordeal, from the moment it starts to hurt 30 seconds in to the moment you cross the finish line, is immense. The psychological state that is entered into during a race is one of unparalleled focus, drive, and will to win.

The race begins with six boats lined up side by side, tensed and ready to pounce. The umpire then makes the call, “Attention. Row” in a tone that seems entirely too casual for the occasion, and the bows spring forward. What was moments before an atmosphere of complete silence is transformed into a world of noise. Here is a short list of things one hears at the start of a rowing race: the authoritative yell of the coxswains, the rhythmic click of the oars, the fluid swish of the water under the boat, the roar of the officials’ launches falling in behind the boats. I always find it funny though, that while the tense silence of the pre-race moments dissolves so quickly into noise from every direction, a rower can only actually hear any of it for a surprisingly short period of time. This is because at about two minutes into a race, a rower begins to lose his senses. Scent disappears completely, touch is negligible, hearing dissolves into nothing but the calls of the cox, and sight reduces itself to a portrait of the back of the rower in front of you. It is in this bizzare state of mind and body that I am truly in my “comfort zone”.

The pain is intense, yes, but I have felt it before. I feel it quite regularly, actually. The training a rower goes through to prepare for a race begins months in advance and consists of pushing oneself to the limit; repeatedly putting oneself in positions of pain and discomfort so that when crunch time comes, a rower is truly without fear of what lies ahead of him. This is how I feel when the going gets tough at around two minutes in: fearless. In these moments I feel invincible; I feel like I was born to do exactly what I am doing right then and there. In these moments I am completely and totally content.

[ Want to learn more about the author of this essay? Check out James’ story here ]

COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE #6 – So this is what compassion is all about

Author: Amanda Class Year: Princeton University 2019 Type of Essay: Common Application Personal Statement School Acceptances: Princeton University, Rutgers University

So this is what compassion is all about? Piece of cake.

Joey was a sweet, ten-year-old boy who could derive pleasure even in the most prosaic of activities: catching a balloon, listening to music, watching other children run, jump, and play. But Joey himself was confined to a wheelchair – he would never be able to participate in the same way that his friends without physical disabilities could.

Joey was the first child assigned to me when I began volunteering for the Friendship Circle, an organization that pairs teenage volunteers with special-needs children. Right from the start, I was grateful for being matched up with this sweet, easy-going child; I felt immense relief at how effortless my volunteering commitment with Joey could be. Simply by wheeling my friend through tiled halls and breezy gardens, I simultaneously entertained him and inspired others with my acts of kindness.

Piece of cake.

Truthfully, though, during my time with Joey, I felt more than a little virtuous and pleased with myself. There I was, able to impress everyone with my dedication to Joey, with only minimal effort on my part. My experience with Joey led me to mistakenly believe that I had, by the age of thirteen, attained a complete understanding of what a word like “empathy” really meant. I was complacent in my comfort zone, confident that I understood what compassion was all about.

Then I met Robyn, and I realized how wrong I was.

Prone to anger, aggressive, sometimes violent (I have the scar to prove it). Every Sunday with Robyn was a challenge. Yoga, dancing, cooking, art, tennis – none of these activities held her interest for long before she would inevitably throw a tantrum or stalk over to a corner to sulk or fight with the other children. She alternated between wrapping her arms around my neck, declaring to anyone who passed by that she loved me, and clawing at my arms, screaming at me to leave her alone.

One day, after an unsuccessful attempt to break up a brawl between Robyn and another girl, I found myself taking dazed steps towards the administrator’s office. I was near my breaking point, ready to quit. In that moment, though, I vividly recall looking up and seeing Robyn’s parents walking down the hall coming to pick her up. Tired eyes. Weary, but appreciative smiles. A realization then struck me: I was only with Robyn for one day a week. During the rest of the week, Robyn was the sole responsibility of her parents. The same parents who once confided in me that Robyn behaved no differently at home than she did at the Friendship Circle with me.

Robyn’s parents undeniably loved her. There were even moments when Robyn transformed into one of the sweetest children I had ever met. But she was no Joey. Sweet, easygoing Joey. Joey who I thought had taught me true empathy. If I was such a saint, how could I give back to Joey’s parents, but not to Robyn’s? How could I not provide them a brief respite every week, from the labors of caring for her? Was I sincerely an empathetic person if I could only be so when it was easy? Was I truly compassionate because others thought I was? Complacency does not equate with compassion; true empathy is not an ephemeral trait that one possesses only when it suits him or her – when it doesn’t require him or her to try.

Progress exists in steps. The first steps were the ones I took with Joey, my earliest experience in volunteering. But the steps I took away from the administrator’s office, the steps I took back toward Robyn, were the steps of a different person, I like to think.

[ Want to learn more about the author of this essay? Check out Amanda’s story here ]

You can read all 35 of our “College Essays that Worked” below!

COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE #7 – I believe that every person is molded by their experiences

Author: Martin Class Year: Princeton University 2021 Type of Essay: Common Application Personal Statement School Acceptances:  Princeton University, University of California Berkeley, University of California Davis, University of California Santa Cruz, CSU Sonoma, CSU Long Beach, CSU San Jose, CSU Chico, New York University

I believe every person is molded by their experiences whether they be positive or negative. I have been impacted by many events and challenges, both personally and socially, that have made me who I am today.

I was born in Concepcion de Buenos Aires in Jalisco, Mexico. My dad did not always live with us and worked doing manual labor in the United States every three months to provide income for us transitioning between the United States and Mexico when he could. When I was six, my Spanish-speaking family immigrated to the United States. Once here in the United States, I found English difficult to learn at school since it was brand new to me. English-speaking students always had to translate for me which motivated me to become fluently proficient by third grade.

In addition to the language barrier at school, my family would constantly move due to apartment rent increase, so I never grew accustomed to a group of friends.  Because of this, I had social difficulties in elementary school.  I remember hardly speaking in class and not playing any recess games unless invited. I recall playing tetherball mostly by myself and observing the children with longing eyes. In the sixth grade, my social life began to change; I met my best friend, Luz. We fostered a tight-knit bond immediately, and my confidence developed little by little each day. As each year passed, I acquired more confidence to become more sociable, but my awkwardness did not completely go away.

My earlier language barrier, my soft-hearted and quiet personality, and my social self-consciousness found me drawn to playing with girls and not sports with the other boys. I soon began to feel excluded by boys asking me why I played with girls; it made me feel small and different from the rest. Looking back, I have never been the “masculine boy” as society says my role to be. I have always thought I do not fit the social definition of a male as one who is “manly” and “sporty” and this alienating feeling of being different still persists today at times. However, I also have become more comfortable with myself, and I see my growth firsthand throughout high school.

In my freshman year I began to come out of my shell and develop self-confidence, largely due to my participation in choir and drama class. In these classes I could be myself and found my real voice. Here I felt a connection to a family not connected by blood but by a unifying passion in the creative arts.  That connection allowed me to confide in my friend Luz my struggle with my personal identity. One day I messaged her: “I have something to tell you… I think I might be bisexual.” My heart pounded as I waited anxiously for her reply. She responded: “How long have you been thinking of this?”  In her response I felt reassured that the she would not reject me.  From that moment my best friend thanked me and said our friendship was now stronger as a result. I felt so relieved to get that secret off my chest; it was a cathartic moment in my life and a significant turning point!

Throughout high school, I have become more open about who I am, and my confidence and acceptance in myself has grown tremendously. Although I still have not told my parents about my sexuality, I will when I am ready.  I am who I am today as a result of these experiences and personal challenges. In my short life so far, I have developed my soft-hearted and quiet personality to become more open, creative, and self-assured while preserving my identity. I know more challenges lie ahead, but I am open to those opportunities.

[ Want to learn more about the author of this essay? Check out Martin’s story here ]

COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE #8 – The California Cadet Corps

Author: Justin Class Year: Princeton University 2021 Type of Essay: Common Application Personal Statement School Acceptances: Princeton University, Harvard University, Stanford University, UCLA, UCSD

During my freshman year at Cajon High School, I enlisted in the California Cadet Corps (CACC). The CACC is essentially a JROTC program based on a state level. Every summer, the CACC holds a summer encampment at Camp San Luis Obispo. A myriad of leadership schools are offered: Non-Commissioned Officer (NCO) School, Officer-Candidate School (OCS), etc. I participated in OCS my freshman year, Survival my sophomore year, and Marksmanship last summer. Of those three, Survival was definitely my biggest challenge and marked my transition from childhood to adulthood.

Within the CACC, there’s an honor so admirable that those who receive it are inducted into an order of elites: the Red Beret. It signifies completion of survival training, the most rigorous and difficult training course within the CACC. With a heart mixed with excitement and fear, I stepped onto the bus headed for Camp San Luis Obispo in June of 2015.

After basic instruction, we were transported to arid Camp Roberts to begin field training. Upon arrival, we were separated into groups of four with one leader each (I was designated as team leader). We then emptied our canteens, received minimal tools, and set off. Our immediate priority was finding areas to build our shelter and latrine. Then, we needed to locate a clean source of water. After, we had to find food. It was truly a situation that required making everything from scratch. As the day drew to a close and night advanced, I felt seclusion and apprehension envelop me.

As the days drew on, constant stress and heat along with lack of food took a toll on my sanity and drove me almost to my breaking-point. At one moment, I remembered a handwritten phrase that had been on my desk: “Your biggest enemy is yourself.” At this moment, it hit me: I wasn’t going to quit. I was going to overcome this challenge and show myself that I have what it takes to survive for five days using nothing but my wits.

On the morning of the sixth day, my team and I reported to headquarters to complete training. With pride, I received the honor of wearing that glorious Red Beret on my head.

Through Survival, I learned many things about myself and the way I approach the world. I realized that I take for granted innumerable small privileges and conveniences and that I undervalue what I do have. Now that I had experienced true and sustained hunger, I felt regret for times when I threw away food and behaved with unconscious waste. Additionally, being isolated from mass civilization and relying heavily on my companions gave me an appreciation for my friends and for the absolute necessity of teamwork. Being the leader of my team meant that they all looked to me for motivation, inspiration, and a will to survive; I got first-hand experience on how important a leader can be in a situation of literal life and death. Most importantly, however, I gained priceless insight into the amount of effort and work my parents put in for me every day.

As demonstrated, survival training taught me essential lessons to survive successfully as an adult. Looking back, it’s absolutely unbelievable how one week affected me so profoundly. Even today, I remember the phrase that motivated me that day: “Your biggest enemy is yourself.” Thinking of that, I go to school and say to myself, “Justin, you truly are an amazing young man!”

[ Want to learn more about the author of this essay? Check out Justin’s story here ]

Click below for our free collection of 35 successful college essays!

COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE #9 – I never want to lose what we had in that corner

Author: Jonah Class Year: Princeton University 2019 Type of Essay: Common Application Personal Statement – Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you? School Acceptances: Princeton University, Swarthmore College

The squeaks of whiteboard markers have now replaced the scritch-scratch of chalk, but the hubbub of voices is always the same. For millennia, the great thinkers of their day would gather and discuss. In ancient Greece, it was Socrates debating about philosophy; centuries later it was Newton lecturing at Cambridge on fluxions and physics. This summer Paul Steinhardt and his eminent colleagues sat down for a panel about inflationary theory at the World Science festival- though there was neither chalk nor markers there. Though we make no claim to be the greatest thinkers of our day and our school in no way resembles the hallowed edifices of science, my friends and I have staked out a corner of our AP Calculus room where we can have our own discussions. We even have a whiteboard.

It started small: just myself, Avery, and Sam and a problem set that didn’t take us long enough. Appropriately enough, we were working on one of Newton’s problems: differential equations describing cooling curves. His solution is fairly simple, perhaps overly simple, which prompted me to ask Avery what he thought. We had both taken Chemistry the year before, and Newton’s equation didn’t take into account thermal equilibrium; (to be fair to Newton, adding thermal equilibrium doesn’t appreciably change the solution at normal conditions). Since we were slightly bored and faced with an empty hour ahead of us, we started to modify the equation. We had learned in Chemistry that both the surroundings and the actual cooling object both change temperature, which Newton had ignored. We wrote up a first attempt on the infamous whiteboard, paused a second, and then started laughing as we realized that our inchoate equation meant a hot cup of coffee could plummet Earth into another Ice Age. This disturbance in an otherwise fairly quiet classroom drew the attention of Sam. He too was amused with our attempt and together we began to fix the poor thing. Huddled around the back of the classroom, we all pondered. It wasn’t an important problem, it wasn’t due the next day, it wasn’t even particularly interesting. But we loved it.

The three of us had been friends since middle school, which in many ways seems astounding. Avery, a track runner, Sam, a Morris dancer, and myself, a fencer. Our interests could not be more diverse. Avery was an avid programmer while Sam was fascinated by the evolution of language. I always had a soft spot for physics. Luckily for us, we had found each other early on in middle school and our discussions started soon after. As we learned more math, read more books, and culled more esoteric facts from our varied experiences, the quality of our rebuttals has dramatically improved. The laughter is immutable.

In the back of algebra class in eighth grade, Avery taught me how to program calculators in TIBasic while I traded theories with him about the Big Bang. From Sam I learned the phonetic alphabet and more recently the physics of bell ringing. Since then our dynamic has always stayed playful no matter how heated the discussion; only our arguments have changed. I may have learned as much in the back of classes with my friends as I learned from my teachers. Joseph Joubert wrote, “To teach is to learn twice,” and I could not agree more. In the myriad hours Avery, Sam, and I spent together, the neuron-firing was palpable, the exuberance impossible to miss.

But not only did I learn linguistics, Python, and philosophy with Avery and Sam, I learned a little more about myself. I never want to lose what we had in that corner. Our interplay of guessing and discovering and laughing seemed like paradise to me. I looked for other opportunities in my life to meet brilliant and vivacious people, to learn from them, and to teach them what I loved. I co-founded a tutoring program, participated in original research, and taught lessons in Physics and Chemistry as a substitute.

I expected to be nervous, I expected to embarrass myself. Yet on every occasion, whether I’m facing the board or with my back to it, whether I’m in the ranks of my peers or addressing my teachers, I feel the same elation. In my friends I see Socrates, Newton, and Steinhardt. There’s no place I would rather be than in their company.

[ Want to learn more about the author of this essay? Check out Jonah’s story here ]

COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE #10 – It is the effort that counts, not the result

Author: John Class Year: Princeton University 2021 Type of Essay: Common Application Personal Statement – The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? School Acceptances: Princeton University

For as long as I can remember, wrestling has been an important part of my life. I can recall playing dodgeball after wrestling practice, summer wrestling camps, hard practices with my older brother, and hundreds of wrestling tournaments as cornerstones of my childhood. From a young age I was determined to be the best; and quickly concluded that meant winning a PIAA state championship. When I entered Junior High, I discovered that only ten wrestlers in the history of Pennsylvania had won a state championship each year of their high school careers – and becoming the eleventh became my personal ambition.

Entering high school, I centered my life around the goal of winning a state title my freshman year. I became disciplined in every aspect of my life: from how many hours of sleep I got, to what exact foods I ate. I was obsessed with my intensive training regimen, and fell asleep each night to the dream of my hand being raised in the circle of the main mat on the Giant Center floor.

As the season progressed, I experienced success. My state ranking climbed steadily and by the time the state tournament began, I was projected to finish third. I wrestled well throughout the tournament, advancing to the semifinals where I defeated the favorite 11-0. At last: I was to wrestle in the final match for the state championship. I prepared for my opponent, whom I defeated the week before. However, when the match began, I wrestled nervously, was unable to fully recover, and ended up on the short end of a 3-1 decision.

In just a few short minutes, my dream was shattered. For me, it felt like the end of the world. I had based my whole identity and lifestyle on the dream of winning four state titles. It felt as though the sport I loved most had ripped out my heart,  and on live television, in front of thousands of people. I was upset after the match.  I was depressed and felt worthless, devoid of my passion for and love of wrestling.

After a month or perhaps more of introspection, and some in depth conversations with the people closest to me, I began to realize that one lost wrestling match, at age fifteen, was not the end of the world. The more I reflected on my wrestling journey, the more gratitude I developed for all of my opportunities.   I realized that wrestling had helped forge some of the most important relationships of my life, including an irreplaceable fraternity with my older brother, teammates, and coaches. My setback in the state finals also helped me to understand all of the lessons learned through wrestling, and that there was much more I could still accomplish. Wrestling helped me learn the value of hard work, discipline, and mental toughness. But most important, I learned that no matter how much we try, we cannot control everything, including the outcome of a wrestling match. We cannot control what happens to us, but we can control our reaction, attitude, actions, and effort. In the words of my father, “it is the effort that counts, not the result.”

Hence, through my experience of failure I learned an invaluable lesson applicable to every walk of life. In retrospect, I am grateful for the opportunity to compete, to represent myself and my school, and to lay all my hard work on the line. The process of striving to become a state champion taught me more than achieving this title ever could, and my failure in the state finals was a blessing in disguise.

[ Want to learn more about the author of this essay? Check out John’s story here ]

COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE #11 – The problem of social integration

Author: Harry Class Year: Princeton University 2020 Type of Essay: Universal Common Application Personal Statement – How do we establish common values to promote harmony in an increasingly diverse society? School Acceptances: Princeton University

Establishing a cohesive society where common values are shared is increasingly difficult in multi-faith, globalised societies such as the one I’m part of in the UK. My studies in politics and philosophy have made me more sensitive to this problem and as I have a much larger number of friends from different ethnic backgrounds than my parents and the previous generation, I realise that the friction created by the presence of different ethnic and social groups is not going to disappear anytime soon.

Admittedly, the problem of social integration is one I feel can be widely overstated – for example, when I was looking into some research for a similar topic a couple of years ago, I found numerous surveys indicating that ethnic minorities (especially Islam) identify much more closely with Britain than do the population at large. Still though, I, like many others, find myself constantly troubled by the prospect of the war from within that seems to be developing. This fear is fuelled by events such as the brutal killing of the soldier Lee Rigby at the hands of two British Muslims a couple of years ago.

This cold blooded murder provides a clear example of what can happen when people lose their human connection to the society that they’re a part of and instead pursue hate and violence on a pretence to a higher purpose (killing in the name of religion). I think suggestible minds are undoubtedly most prone to this, and the two British men who killed Rigby, previously Christians, are examples of how minds devoid of any instilled social values are fertile ground for the fomentation of harmful ideas.

What I find particularly worrying is the distinct danger of allowing a largely atomised society to develop, where conflicts such as this one begin to characterise the interaction between the different parts. It’s imperative that we avoid this situation and work towards social unity, and so I think a long-term and complex solution to social integration must be found. Given the upward trends in multiculturalism and globalisation, it is going to be paramount that my generation takes on the problems of integration and cultural diversity to create a harmonious society.

The solution will no doubt be an ongoing process, involving years of detailed and thoroughly considered legislation, but I think that in working towards it, we should focus on certain things.

With regard to the role of religion, I think its relationship with the state needs to be clarified and communicated to everyone. As the case of Lee Rigby quite bluntly reveals, where religion triumphs over civic duty, there’s a potentially dangerous situation, especially when put into the context of radical fundamentalism. By the same token however, it’s neither desirable nor feasible to have a society where politics trumps religion, so I think that when addressing the issue of social cohesion there must be an overarching commitment to other people within society that’s established – humanity must transcend any form of politics or ideology, and bind the two camps so their incompatibility does not become entrenched.

I think that this has to be done primarily through education: both within the formal curriculum which all citizens of a democratic nation state should be compelled to follow until at least the age of 16, and in the wider sense through more promotion of cultural programmes nationally that encourage the nation’s population to participate in the continuing discussion and examination of our core, shared values. We have to work at this constantly since identity is itself always in a state of flux and accept that this continuing ‘conversation’ will always require us to confront some very difficult questions about freedom and responsibility. People need to understand these ideas not simply as abstract questions, but also as issues of practical, pragmatic relevance, deconstructing them into how we actually treat each other, the true test of how civilised and tolerant we are.

COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE #12 – Improv

Author: Thomas

I scarf down my mom’s squash casserole as fast as humanly possible with only one thought in mind: “Will I miss it?” Leaving my almost-clean plate in the dust, I reach the sofa just in time to hear Drew Carrey announce, “and welcome back to Whose Line Is it Anyway”. I bow to the applause coming from the speakers and take my seat between my siblings, breathing a sigh of relief. Finally paying the screen my full attention, I’d rather be nowhere else; The quick-witted interactions between Colin, Ryan, Wayne, and Greg never fail to make our family nights perfect.

At the time, I was oblivious to the mastery required for the skits on-screen—every impromptu joke had to land, or else the performers would be subjected to the doom of humiliation and awkward silence, perils I would soon experience the hard way.

I first entered the world of improv listening to “Sing, Sing, Sing” by Benny Goodman in the car with my brother. He told me offhandedly that the majority of the song had been made up on the spot. I was shocked. I could hardly give a speech at the head of the classroom with five pages of prepared notes and two hours of rehearsal. How could someone just “make up” something so enjoyable? My enlightenment came in the form of music. In playing the trombone, I fell in love with the difficult yet rewarding task of jazz improvisation; the combination of intense musical focus with unbridled creative expression brought about not only a new appreciation for my childhood “Whose Line” idols but also a burning desire to reach their level of prowess in terms of music.

My newfound fascination led me to the school jazz band, where the practice of on-the-spot originality became a harsh reality. When the jazz teacher suddenly pointed at me to noodle in the key of B-flat, I froze. Performance anxiety and a lack of experience manifested themselves in the form of a few pitiful flubs out of my trombone; the silence afterward was deafening. Despite my blunders, I was unfazed in my desire to attain Benny Goodman’s level of improv mastery. At home, I approached my dream through rigorous practice of jazz fundamentals, guided partly by the work of other jazz legends like J. J. Johnson and Charles Mingus. Practice turned into improvement, and, before I knew it, performance anxiety began to fade.

It wasn’t until my stone-faced jazz teacher referred to one of my improvised melodies as “hot” that my playing confidence truly took shape. I found my musical voice just like Wayne Brady found his comedic timing. In my free time, I would spend hours exploring musical worlds of my own—and they were my own! Not even Duke Ellington had combined rhythms and melodies in the exact way that I had! With a vast expanse of unique sounds and emotions stretching out before me, I felt liberated from my past musical stutters.

In my newfound confidence, I found unexpected advantages of improv in my engineering endeavors. As a Science Olympiad member, improvisation benefits materialized in structure and circuit creation. Hours that I had spent formulating spontaneous musical ideas mirrored the creativity required for fruitful brainstorming sessions. Designs transformed into wooden structures just as thoughts turned into jazz melodies. The confidence gleaned from improv impacted my circuit-building events as well; my experience improvising in front of large crowds dwarfed any prior nervousness associated with timed circuit prompts.

Whether I am solving urgent engineering problems or performing my heart out on-stage, my love for improv always shines through. Benny Goodman, my deadpan jazz teacher, and countless others inspire me to push the boundaries of this love, however, my ultimate inspiration lies in my childhood “Whose Line” idols. At heart, the only thing that separates me from the fascinated eight-year-old staring at the television is how I have approached my fascination: I’ve improved.

COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE #13 – The Sound of Music

Author: Alyssa

Tucked inside the small blue box that sits on my dresser is a folded-up Market Basket receipt from November 3rd, 2010. If you flipped over the order, you’d find—written in neat and lilting handwriting—the lyrics to “My Favorite Things” from the Sound of Music.

On November 3rd, 2010, I was six going on seven, watching the Sound of Music with my grandparents for the first time, nestled between them on their old brown leather couch. The themes of the film were far beyond my understanding, but I could not get the lyrics of “My Favorite Things” out of my head. I begged my grandmother to transcribe them for me to keep. The message of the song, which lists images dear to Maria—from “raindrops on roses” to “silver white winters that melt into springs”—is that by drawing upon moments of joy, we can cope with any misfortune.

Now, it becomes clear why I found the lyrics important enough to write down and keep for eleven years: I tend to find the best in everything. Even when I feel lost, I am in constant search of small flickers of brightness, elusive moments of clarity. Like Maria, I think that my favorite things are my most inexhaustible sources of strength.

On January 1st, 2020, I downloaded an app called “One Second Every Day.” Essentially, I would film one second of my life each day, and the app would compile these clips into a movie at the end of every year. I began the project simply to document my life, to keep my memories fresh.

Soon, my project became much more than a documentary. Rather than capturing the most significant one-second of my day, as I had initially intended, I found myself filming moments that made me smile—moments that reminded me to stay hopeful.

On my mom’s first day of chemotherapy, I filmed the blue January sky and captioned the clip succinctly: “fresh air > everything else.” On the day that her hair fell out, I captured the serenity of a nearby lake, where I go to collect my thoughts. On the first anniversary of my grandfather’s death, I filmed my friends and me at a fencing tournament; on the second, a stunning sunset. Throughout quarantine, clips included flowers, Easter cookies, Zooms with my friends, and efforts to learn guitar.

I hadn’t realized it then, but like Maria, I was steadily compiling a list of my favorite things to make me feel better “when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when I’m feeling sad”—a huge database of happiness in spite of pain. In that way, I grew stronger, more optimistic, better able to connect with myself and be there for my mother as she battled cancer amid the pandemic. My circumstances did not have to define my outlook on life. Sometimes, I look back on my clips and can’t help but grin, knowing what comes next—like the clip of myself playing field hockey, filmed shortly before my mother received a call from her doctor, telling her that she was finally cancer-free.

I wish I could whisper to myself in the “before” moments like that one, “You’ll never believe what’s about to happen. Everything is going to be okay.” For now, I settle for the knowledge that we grow in the small moments, not only in the big ones. We push ourselves through obstacles and come out on the other side; we gear up for the decisions that will change our lives; we are strengthened and empowered and made brave. Back in 2010, I may not have known what “schnitzel with noodles” was, but I did know that “My Favorite Things” matter, whether I’m six-going-on-seven or sixteen-going-on-seventeen or simply just trying to forge ahead. Whenever I rediscover that Market Basket receipt, I smile, and look forward to all the favorite things that I have yet to discover.

COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE #14 – Translation

Author: Cecile

I first thought seriously about human trafficking while sitting on a public toilet. The right place, the right time, and an uncanny sign can turn a banal act into a mission. For me, the venue was a bathroom stall in the Atlanta airport, the time was early morning, and the sign was a generic poster that warned viewers: “human trafficking is in our community.” The graffiti hearts on the stall door took the poster’s credibility down a notch, but I was intrigued. Ambiguous yet alarming, this message ultimately inspired me to learn a language that, although foreign, was spoken within earshot. As I later found out, a human trafficking ring took place blocks from my house in Austin, Texas. I would not have made this discovery without approaching my research with the attitude of a translator—from Austin’s East side to conversations with an ex-convict on my porch, from Spanish to English, from inside the bathroom stall to the whole wide world. 

To translate, dictionaries can only do so much. When I lived in Spain during the Summer of 2019, my host sister Carmen proved to be a better translator than my pocket dictionary. Through words, phrases, and theatrical charades, Carmen filled gaps in my understanding, offering me a much more grounded (and entertaining) explanation of a word than a conventional Spanish-English dictionary ever could. This lesson stuck, and it was not just about linguistics.

My time in Spain was an opportunity to discover meaning beyond words. To learn why “thank you” could be offensive, why my youngest host sister cursed like the word “joder” was going out of style, why everyone spoke as if on Novocain, I had to translate not just language, but culture. The challenge of understanding the cultural subtleties that language reveals taught me to see ambiguity—say, of a false cognate or a mysterious warning sign—as a green light for immersion. So, when it came to that poster on the bathroom wall, I hit the academic search engines and devoured a trove of research. 

Case studies dispelled myths, anthropologists offered context, and scholars everywhere, it seemed, were engaging in some form of translation. As I read, a world inaccessible even to data scientists—that of human sex trafficking—began to seem slightly more lucid. The scholarship, while brilliant, had its limits. Yes, I learned about the interactions of survivors with police officers; I discovered surprising arguments for legalizing prostitution; I noticed gaps between NGO advocacy and what empirical data suggest. Still, translating these discoveries into a language I understood remained as elusive to me as the Spanish subjunctive once seemed. As with linguistic translation, a deeper understanding would require deeper questions. Should the response to a human rights abuse change if the perceived victims do not agree that they are being abused? How can personal agency and external support coexist? What makes a kid a kid? I approached my new inquiries with the same attitude it took to discuss Mediterranean migration patterns with my host dad: shameless curiosity. I had another language to learn, and only human conversation, as nuanced and enthralling as my host sister made it, could lead me to fluency. 

I interviewed—in person and on Zoom—dozens of global experts, witnesses, and survivors of human trafficking. I created a website—which I called RISE (Recording Interviews and Stories of Exploitation)—to house my interviews and connect with those eager to explore questions further. My conversations, although in English, were no less of a translation than my experience rendering an English thought into a Spanish sentence. I was equally immersed, this time not in another language but in a new field. As with learning a new language, I found clarity through human connection. I have yet to reach the whole wide world with my research, but with RISE, I am just beginning to make discoveries that only true immersion rewards.

COLLEGE ESSAY EXAMPLE #15 –  The YOKA Times

Author: Allie

It was already 6 PM, and I walked across the classroom, wary of the many fingers tapping away at their keyboards, their mouse clicks, their resizing and editing articles, photos, and captions. It was the day before the newspaper production deadline, and my team of middle schoolers had worked tirelessly on their articles and layouts. Just before we hit send, I was overwhelmed by a feeling of pride.

Student Newspaper in Every Middle School project began as an impossible dream. The ubiquity of fake news is undermining our democracy and our First Amendment right. I believe that my project can undermine the spread of fake news by educating young students to become better consumers of news. Determined, I began my journey to achieve my dream.

I was naive to think that merely sending “email presentation” to local middle school principals will be sufficient to convince them to start a newspaper with me. I was dead wrong. Out of 43 emails sent, I received exactly “0” interest. Out of desperation, I started calling schools one by one.

Another valuable lesson learned – principals don’t answer phone calls. Six schools picked up my call, but only Principal Lauer of Young Oak Kim Academy (YOKA), a Los Angeles Unified School District middle school, called me back. I implored the reluctant Principal for a chance to explain my plan, and was elated when he agreed to meet me. It was my only shot.

I felt like a person on a hopeless mission when I first walked the halls of YOKA. “What am I doing here? I don’t have to do this,” I kept mumbling to myself. A receptionist told me to wait as he had a meeting. Some twenty agonizing minutes passed before smiling Principal Lauer walked out to greet me. Remarkably, he read my presentation and told me that he had been trying to the same thing. Just like that, I became an advisor to YOKA’s student newspaper.

School bureaucracy quickly dampened my short-lived elation. As a minor, I couldn’t advise students on my own. So, the school had to assign a teacher. But, no one wanted the extra work, so I had to go around and convince teachers of the project’s merits one by one. I was overjoyed in tears when Ms. Ramos agreed to co-advise.

Problems never ended. I envisioned 30+ Energizer Bunnies to welcome me to first class. Instead, I got two bored students, wondering aloud “why they had to be there?” I was demoralized. But, I had expended too much effort and convinced too many people to quit. All dreams start small and humble, and I had to accept the fact that my dream was no exception.

I learned another undeniable truth – that getting an “idea” turned out to be the easiest step. In comparison, executing that “idea” was excruciatingly more difficult. Convincing conflicted individuals to work for a common goal was impossibly challenging. I needed to be resilient, but I was always prepared to fail as well.

I stumbled on to a “tipping point.” I told my staff that the feature article’s “star” will be them. The new “celebrity” status was enticing enough to get them enthusiastic. I took the cue from their metamorphosis and started promising “stardom” to other students. Encouraging narcissism through flattery worked as seven more students enthusiastically joined. Our goal was simple, “tell accurate stories about students, the ‘stars’ of our paper.” The “YOKA Times” was successfully launched last year and I am proud to be working with two more schools this year.

It was 6:30 PM, and we finally finished our first issue. “High five, we did it,” my students and I were overjoyed. I held the “YOKA Times” in my hands, smiling at the team who worked so hard to make this happen.

You’ve read through these 15 college essay examples. What do they all have in common? What’s the secret sauce that earned their writers Ivy League acceptance?

Remember: the college essay is only one part of the college application.

The admissions officers reading these essays thus were considering other aspects of the writers’ applications , including extracurricular distinction and academic achievement.

That being said, we’ve done the research and pinpointed the 7 qualities of successful college essays that all of these pieces exemplify.

• Introspective and reflective
• Full of a student’s voice
• Descriptive and engaging
• Unconventional and distinct
• Well-written

How to Write an Essay Like These College Essay Examples

What can you do to write a personal statement in line with these stellar college essay examples?

First, let’s talk about how to actually read one of these college essay examples.

If you’re at this point in this post, you’ve likely read at least one of the examples in this post at least once. Now, return to that essay and read it a second time with a more critical eye.

Ask yourself questions like these:

• What do you like? What do you not like?
• How does the essay make you feel?
• How is the essay structured?
• How does the writer craft the introduction? The conclusion?
• What’s unique about this college essay example?
• What value(s) does the writer express? Key takeaways?
• Is there anything unexpected or surprising?
• Do any writing techniques stick out to you?

Pay attention to your answers to these questions, and reflect on the qualities that surface. Compare them to the 7 qualities of a successful college essay . What do you notice?

Complete this exercise for several other college essay examples — you can download  35 real college essays below!

This can help you understand exactly what it it takes to write a compelling college essay, including what impact a strong essay has on a reader.

It’s also a great first step to take in the college essay writing process, which we’ve boiled down to these 10 simple steps . 

You can check out even more college essay examples by successful applicants! For 20 additional essays, download PrepMaven’s 35 College Essays That Worked .

With this document, you’ll get:

• The essays included in this post
• 20 additional full personal statements of applicants admitted to top-tier institutions

Need some additional help? Check out our college essay service and work with one of our Master Consultants .

At PrepMaven, our mission is not only to help your child increase their test scores and get into a great college but also to put them on the right track for long-term personal and professional success.

Greg Wong and Kevin Wong

Greg and Kevin are brothers and the co-founders of PrepMaven and Princeton Tutoring. They are Princeton engineering graduates with over 20 years of education experience. They apply their data and research-backed problem solving skills to the test prep and college preparation process. Their unique approach places a heavy emphasis on personal development, character, and service as key components of college admissions success.

Top College Essay Posts

• 14 Best College Essay Services for 2023 (40 Services Reviewed)
• Qualities of a Successful College Essay
• 11 College Essays That Worked
• How to Answer the UC Personal Insight Questions
• How Colleges Read your College Applications (A 4-Step Process)
• How to Write the Princeton Supplemental Essays
• The Diamond Strategy: How We Help Students Write College Essays that Get Them Into Princeton (And Other Ivy League Schools)
• What is the College Essay? Your Complete Guide for 202 4
• College Essay Brainstorming: Where to Start
• How to Write the Harvard Supplemental Essays
• How to Format Your College Essay

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Ultimate Guide to Writing Your College Essay

Tips for writing an effective college essay.

College admissions essays are an important part of your college application and gives you the chance to show colleges and universities your character and experiences. This guide will give you tips to write an effective college essay.

Want free help with your college essay?

UPchieve connects you with knowledgeable and friendly college advisors—online, 24/7, and completely free. Get 1:1 help brainstorming topics, outlining your essay, revising a draft, or editing grammar.

Writing a strong college admissions essay

Learn about the elements of a solid admissions essay.

Avoiding common admissions essay mistakes

Learn some of the most common mistakes made on college essays

Brainstorming tips for your college essay

Stuck on what to write your college essay about? Here are some exercises to help you get started.

How formal should the tone of your college essay be?

Learn how formal your college essay should be and get tips on how to bring out your natural voice.

Taking your college essay to the next level

Hear an admissions expert discuss the appropriate level of depth necessary in your college essay.

Student Stories

Student Story: Admissions essay about a formative experience

Get the perspective of a current college student on how he approached the admissions essay.

Student Story: Admissions essay about personal identity

Get the perspective of a current college student on how she approached the admissions essay.

Student Story: Admissions essay about community impact

Student story: admissions essay about a past mistake, how to write a college application essay, tips for writing an effective application essay, sample college essay 1 with feedback, sample college essay 2 with feedback.

This content is licensed by Khan Academy and is available for free at www.khanacademy.org.

College Essays That Worked: See Examples

Experts say a good college essay features a student's voice and personality.

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Students should know themselves and write authoritatively so they can share a sense of their lives with admissions officers.

Many college applications require a personal essay, which can be daunting for students to write.

But a few simple tips, some introspection and insight into what admissions officers are looking for can help ease the pressure. U.S. News has compiled several college essay examples that helped students get into school. Shared by admissions staff or referenced from admissions websites, these essays stand out, they say, because the student voices shine, helping the school get to know the applicants.

"Students can get caught in the trap of overthinking it and write the essay that's going to impress the admissions committee," says Andrew Strickler, dean of admission and financial aid at Connecticut College . "The best essays, the ones that really pop, are the ones that come across as authentic and you really hear the student's voice."

The essay gives schools a feel for how a student writes, but it's the content of the essay that matters most, admissions professionals say. In other words, while it's important to showcase sound grammar and writing, it's even more important to showcase your character and personality.

"I care more about their stories than if it is a perfect five paragraph essay," David Graves, interim director of admissions at the University of Georgia , wrote in an email.

Many schools give students a wide range of topics to choose from, which experts say can be beneficial in helping students find their voice.

While you want your voice to be apparent, it's wise to be aware of your tone, says Allen Koh, CEO of Cardinal Education, an admissions consulting company that works with students to craft and revise their college essays. The goal of the essay is to make a strong case for why you’re different from all the other applicants, not necessarily why you’re better, he adds.

"You have to pass the genuine likability test. Sometimes kids are so busy trying to brag or tell their story that they’re forgetting they have to sound like a likable person. That’s a very simple test, but it’s really important."

Good essays tend to be "positively emotional," he says. It's best to avoid using sarcasm because it tends to fail on college essays.

Any humor used "really has to be a very positive, witty humor, not sarcastic," which he says can be hard to pick up on in an essay.

The Perils of Using AI for Essays

Choosing the right tone can be a challenge for many students, but admissions pros encourage them not to take shortcuts to completing their essay.

Though some college professors have embraced artificial intelligence tools like ChatGPT in their classrooms, Strickler says he's begun to stress in recent talks with high school audiences the importance of original work and avoiding the use of AI tools like ChatGPT to craft college essays. While it might produce a technically well-written essay and save time, your unique voice will be stripped away, and it may leave a bad impression on admissions offices as well as prevent them from truly getting to know you, he says.

Instead, Graves says, start early and take time to write it yourself, then "actually read it out loud to someone ... to listen to the rhythm and words as they are 'read.'"

Each spring on his admissions blog , Graves shares an enrolling student's essay and why it was strong. The essay excerpted below, shared with the permission of the University of Georgia, uses descriptive word choice and gives the admissions office deep insight into the student's life, their love for writing and their connection to their family, Graves says.

It was chosen as an example "to show our applicant pool how to express themselves through similes, sensory language (words that capture the senses of the reader), and emotion," Graves wrote on the blog.

Here's how the essay opened:

If you asked me what object I’d save in a burning fire, I’d save my notebook. My notebook isn’t just any notebook, it’s bubble gum pink with purple tie dye swirls, and has gold coil binding it together. But more importantly, it’s the key that unlocked my superpower, sending me soaring into the sky, flying high above any problems that could ever catch me. However, my notebook is simply the key. My real power rests in the depths of my mind, in my passion for writing. But to know how my powers came to be (not from a spider or a special rock), I must travel back to the first spark.

Four years ago, I wrote my first 6-word memoir in my eighth-grade rhetoric class. Inspired by my father’s recently diagnosed terminal illness, I wrote “Take his words, don’t take him”. It was as if all the energy of my powers surged into six meaningful words meant to honor the man that I would soon lose to a villain known as ALS. This was the first time I felt my writing. Three years ago, my dad’s disease severely progressed. The ALS seized his ability to speak and locked it in a tower with no key. The only way we could communicate was with an old spiral notebook. ...

The essay counted down each year ("three years ago," "two years ago," etc.) and concluded with this paragraph:

One month ago, I needed my powers more than ever before. I needed them to convey who I truly am for the chance at the future of my dreams as a writer. Except this time, I didn’t need the key because my powers grew into fruition. Instead, I opened my laptop only to type out one sentence… “If you asked me what object to save in a burning fire, I’d save my notebook.”

This style of storytelling, which shows not just the triumph at the end but also the conflict, struggle and evolution in between, makes for great essays, Koh says.

"The student also used an intriguing timeline (counting down years and month) to tell their story, and showed how she had grown," Graves says.

This next essay, by an anonymous writer and shared on Connecticut College 's admissions page , "manages to capture multiple aspects of the writer's personality, while not becoming overly cluttered or confusing," writes Susanna Matthews, associate director of admission at the school.

Every person who truly knows me believes that I was born in the wrong century. They call me "an old soul" because I'm a collector, attracted to books, antiques, vinyl records and anything from the 80's. But they also think I am unique in other ways. I believe it is because of the meaningful connections to my two languages and two cultures.

When we moved into our first American house, I was excited to decorate my new room. The first thing I knew I needed was a place to organize my most cherished possessions I have collected throughout my life. I searched and finally found a bookshelf with twenty-five thick sections that I could build and organize alphabetically ... Each shelf holds important objects from different parts of my life. ...

These books are a strong connection to my Brazilian heritage. They also remind me of the time when I was growing up in Brazil, as a member of a large Italian-Brazilian family.

The writer continues on, describing the types of books on each shelf, from Harry Potter to books used to learn English. They describe the bottom of the bookshelf housing some of their most prized possessions, like an old typewriter their grandfather gave them. They wonder about the words it has crafted and stories it has told.

As I grab my favorite Elvis vinyl to play, I can only wonder about the next chapter of my life. I look forward to adding new books, new friends, and a wide variety of experiences to my bookshelf.

"By placing one subject (the bookshelf) at the center of the piece, it lends some flexibility to layer in much more detail than if they had tried to discuss a few different interests in the essay," Matthews writes. "You learn a lot about the person, in a way that isn't in your face – a great thing when trying to write a personal essay."

Some colleges require a supplemental essay in addition to the personal statement. Typically, admissions pros note, these essays are shorter and focus on answering a specific question posed by the college.

The University of Chicago in Illinois allows students to submit essay prompts as inspiration for the admissions office and gives students some latitude in how they answer them. Essay prompts range from questions about the school itself to asking students to pick a question from a song title or lyric and give their best shot at answering it.

"We think of them as an opportunity for students to tell us about themselves, their tastes, and their ambitions," the school's admissions website reads. "They can be approached with utter seriousness, complete fancy, or something in between."

While the University of Chicago says there is no strict word limit on its supplemental essays, other schools prefer brevity. For example, Stanford University in California asks students to answer several short questions, with a 50-word limit, in addition to answering three essay questions in 100 to 250 words.

Georgia asks for a school-specific supplemental essay that's 200-300 words in addition to a 250- to 650-word personal essay.

"Sometimes a shorter essay response is not as polished an essay, but instead is a more casual, more relaxed essay," Graves says. "In addition, sometimes a student needs to get to the point or be concise, and this helps see if they can give us their story without overdoing it."

Other schools allow for a little more creativity in how the supplemental essay questions are answered. Babson College in Massachusetts, for example, gives students a 500-word limit to answer a prompt, or they can choose to submit a one-minute video about why they chose to apply to the school.

One student, Gabrielle Alias, chose to film a "day-in-the-life" video , which she narrated to answer the prompt, "Who Am I?"

"Visiting campus twice, I know I could see myself as one of the many interesting, innovative, and enticing students that come out of Babson," she says in the video. "But who am I you ask? I am a student. I am a reader. I am a researcher. I am a music lover. ... I am Gabrielle Alias and I am excited for who I will be as a graduate of Babson."

An essay by Babson student Bessie Shiroki, seen below, describes her experience in the school's admissions office and how she immediately felt comfortable.

I immediately smiled at the sight of my favorite board game. Babsonopoly. I love the combination of strategy and luck in this traditional family pastime. Seeing this on the wall in the admissions office gave me immediate comfort; I knew I was home.

Shiroki describes what she felt set Babson College apart from other schools, such as being surrounded by "sophisticated and mature individuals" and a tight-knit, entrepreneurial environment that would help her reach her career goals.

It is natural for me to be in a small class where more than one language is spoken. I am accustomed to discussions with diverse viewpoints, open minds, and where differences are seen as advantages. I embrace my cultural uniqueness, and I will add my voice to the community. I can’t imagine not continuing this in college.

She notes that as she toured the campus and saw students studying, she could see herself as one of them, feeding off of their studious and entrepreneurial energy. She mentions that Babson's Foundations of Management and Entrepreneurship class got her attention immediately and she saw it as a launch pad for a future that included running a business.

Babson recognizes the potential of their students, and FME is a great way for young entrepreneurs like me to find our place in the business world and learn from our mistakes. I am capable of this challenge and will conquer it with tenacity. I will bring my dedication, commitment, and innovative skills to Babson College.

Now it’s my turn to pass go and collect my Babson acceptance letter. I’ve found my next challenge.

Babson College offers several tips for what make good essays, including a strong "hook" to engage the reader from the start and a topic that allows you to share something that's not as obvious on your application.

When it comes to writing a college admissions essay – whether personal or supplemental – experts advise students to follow these rules:

• Find your voice.
• Write about a topic that matters to you.
• Share your personality.
• Express yourself.
• Proofread extensively.

With both traditional essays and supplemental essays, Koh says it's best to write long and work with someone you trust to edit it down. Teachers, friends and parents can all be helpful proofreaders, but experts note that the student voice should remain intact.

A good editor can help edit a long essay to keep the main message but with fewer words. “If I see 400 words, I know I’m a dozen drafts away from getting it to 650,” he says. “If I see 1200 words, we might just be one or two away. It’s at least going to be a shorter haul.”

Strickler encourages students not to stress too much over the essay or put unnecessary weight on it as part of their college application . While a strong essay helps, he says, it doesn't make or break an application.

"There's this sense that you write the most amazing essay and it gets you over the top because it opens the door to the pathway to the Magic Kingdom," he says. "But it's just one piece of a myriad of pieces that allow us to get to know a particular student and help us figure out if they're a good fit and how they're going to contribute to our community."

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Sat / act prep online guides and tips, how to write a great college essay, step-by-step.

College Admissions , College Essays

Writing your personal statement for your college application is an undeniably overwhelming project. Your essay is your big shot to show colleges who you are—it's totally reasonable to get stressed out. But don't let that stress paralyze you.

This guide will walk you through each step of the essay writing process to help you understand exactly what you need to do to write the best possible personal statement . I'm also going to follow an imaginary student named Eva as she plans and writes her college essay, from her initial organization and brainstorming to her final edits. By the end of this article, you'll have all the tools you need to create a fantastic, effective college essay.

So how do you write a good college essay? The process starts with finding the best possible topic , which means understanding what the prompt is asking for and taking the time to brainstorm a variety of options. Next, you'll determine how to create an interesting essay that shows off your unique perspective and write multiple drafts in order to hone your structure and language. Once your writing is as effective and engaging as possible, you'll do a final sweep to make sure everything is correct .

This guide covers the following steps:

#1: Organizing #2: Brainstorming #3: Picking a topic #4: Making a plan #5: Writing a draft #6: Editing your draft #7: Finalizing your draft #8: Repeating the process

Step 1: Get Organized

The first step in how to write a college essay is figuring out what you actually need to do. Although many schools are now on the Common App, some very popular colleges, including Rutgers and University of California, still have their own applications and writing requirements. Even for Common App schools, you may need to write a supplemental essay or provide short answers to questions.

Before you get started, you should know exactly what essays you need to write. Having this information allows you to plan the best approach to each essay and helps you cut down on work by determining whether you can use an essay for more than one prompt.

Start Early

Writing good college essays involves a lot of work: you need dozens of hours to get just one personal statement properly polished , and that's before you even start to consider any supplemental essays.

In order to make sure you have plenty of time to brainstorm, write, and edit your essay (or essays), I recommend starting at least two months before your first deadline . The last thing you want is to end up with a low-quality essay you aren't proud of because you ran out of time and had to submit something unfinished.

Determine What You Need to Do

As I touched on above, each college has its own essay requirements, so you'll need to go through and determine what exactly you need to submit for each school . This process is simple if you're only using the Common App, since you can easily view the requirements for each school under the "My Colleges" tab. Watch out, though, because some schools have a dedicated "Writing Supplement" section, while others (even those that want a full essay) will put their prompts in the "Questions" section.

It gets trickier if you're applying to any schools that aren't on the Common App. You'll need to look up the essay requirements for each college—what's required should be clear on the application itself, or you can look under the "how to apply" section of the school's website.

Once you've determined the requirements for each school, I recommend making yourself a chart with the school name, word limit, and application deadline on one side and the prompt or prompts you need to respond to on the other . That way you'll be able to see exactly what you need to do and when you need to do it by.

The hardest part about writing your college essays is getting started. 

Decide Where to Start

If you have one essay that's due earlier than the others, start there. Otherwise, start with the essay for your top choice school.

I would also recommend starting with a longer personal statement before moving on to shorter supplementary essays , since the 500-700 word essays tend to take quite a bit longer than 100-250 word short responses. The brainstorming you do for the long essay may help you come up with ideas you like for the shorter ones as well.

Also consider whether some of the prompts are similar enough that you could submit the same essay to multiple schools . Doing so can save you some time and let you focus on a few really great essays rather than a lot of mediocre ones.

However, don't reuse essays for dissimilar or very school-specific prompts, especially "why us" essays . If a college asks you to write about why you're excited to go there, admissions officers want to see evidence that you're genuinely interested. Reusing an essay about another school and swapping out the names is the fastest way to prove you aren't.

Example: Eva's College List

Eva is applying early to Emory University and regular decision to University of Washington, UCLA, and Reed College. Emory, the University of Washington, and Reed both use the Common App, while University of Washington, Emory, and Reed all use the Coalition App.

Even though she's only applying to four schools, Eva has a lot to do: two essays for UW, four for the UCLA application, one for the Common App (or the Coalition App), and two essays for Emory. Many students will have fewer requirements to complete, but those who are applying to very selective schools or a number of schools on different applications will have as many or even more responses to write.

Eva's first deadline is early decision for Emory, she'll start by writing the Common App essay, and then work on the Emory supplements. (For the purposes of this post, we'll focus on the Common App essay.)

Pro tip: If this sounds like a lot of work, that's because it is. Writing essays for your college applications is demanding and takes a lot of time and thought. You don't have to do it alone, though. PrepScholar has helped students like you get into top-tier colleges like Stanford, Yale, Harvard, and Brown. Our essay experts can help you craft amazing essays that boost your chances of getting into your dream school . 

Step 2: Brainstorm

Next up in how to write a college essay: brainstorming essay ideas. There are tons of ways to come up with ideas for your essay topic: I've outlined three below. I recommend trying all of them and compiling a list of possible topics, then narrowing it down to the very best one or, if you're writing multiple essays, the best few.

Keep in mind as you brainstorm that there's no best college essay topic, just the best topic for you . Don't feel obligated to write about something because you think you should—those types of essays tend to be boring and uninspired. Similarly, don't simply write about the first idea that crosses your mind because you don't want to bother trying to think of something more interesting. Take the time to come up with a topic you're really excited about and that you can write about in detail.

Analyze the Prompts

One way to find possible topics is to think deeply about the college's essay prompt. What are they asking you for? Break them down and analyze every angle.

Does the question include more than one part ? Are there multiple tasks you need to complete?

What do you think the admissions officers are hoping to learn about you ?

In cases where you have more than one choice of prompt, does one especially appeal to you ? Why?

Let's dissect one of the University of Washington prompts as an example:

"Our families and communities often define us and our individual worlds. Community might refer to your cultural group, extended family, religious group, neighborhood or school, sports team or club, co-workers, etc. Describe the world you come from and how you, as a product of it, might add to the diversity of the UW. "

This question is basically asking how your personal history, such as your childhood, family, groups you identify with etc. helped you become the person you are now. It offers a number of possible angles.

You can talk about the effects of either your family life (like your relationship with your parents or what your household was like growing up) or your cultural history (like your Jewish faith or your Venezuelan heritage). You can also choose between focusing on positive or negative effects of your family or culture. No matter what however, the readers definitely want to hear about your educational goals (i.e. what you hope to get out of college) and how they're related to your personal experience.

As you try to think of answers for a prompt, imagine about what you would say if you were asked the question by a friend or during a get-to-know-you icebreaker. After all, admissions officers are basically just people who you want to get to know you.

The essay questions can make a great jumping off point, but don't feel married to them. Most prompts are general enough that you can come up with an idea and then fit it to the question.

Consider Important Experiences, Events, and Ideas in Your Life

What experience, talent, interest or other quirk do you have that you might want to share with colleges? In other words, what makes you you? Possible topics include hobbies, extracurriculars, intellectual interests, jobs, significant one-time events, pieces of family history, or anything else that has shaped your perspective on life.

Unexpected or slightly unusual topics are often the best : your passionate love of Korean dramas or your yearly family road trip to an important historical site. You want your essay to add something to your application, so if you're an All-American soccer player and want to write about the role soccer has played in your life, you'll have a higher bar to clear.

Of course if you have a more serious part of your personal history—the death of a parent, serious illness, or challenging upbringing—you can write about that. But make sure you feel comfortable sharing details of the experience with the admissions committee and that you can separate yourself from it enough to take constructive criticism on your essay.

Think About How You See Yourself

The last brainstorming method is to consider whether there are particular personality traits you want to highlight . This approach can feel rather silly, but it can also be very effective.

If you were trying to sell yourself to an employer, or maybe even a potential date, how would you do it? Try to think about specific qualities that make you stand out. What are some situations in which you exhibited this trait?

Example: Eva's Ideas

Looking at the Common App prompts, Eva wasn't immediately drawn to any of them, but after a bit of consideration she thought it might be nice to write about her love of literature for the first one, which asks about something "so meaningful your application would be incomplete without it." Alternatively, she liked the specificity of the failure prompt and thought she might write about a bad job interview she had had.

In terms of important events, Eva's parents got divorced when she was three and she's been going back and forth between their houses for as long as she can remember, so that's a big part of her personal story. She's also played piano for all four years of high school, although she's not particularly good.

As for personal traits, Eva is really proud of her curiosity—if she doesn't know something, she immediately looks it up, and often ends up discovering new topics she's interested in. It's a trait that's definitely come in handy as a reporter for her school paper.

Step 3: Narrow Down Your List

Now you have a list of potential topics, but probably no idea where to start. The next step is to go through your ideas and determine which one will make for the strongest essay . You'll then begin thinking about how best to approach it.

What to Look for in a College Essay Topic

There's no single answer to the question of what makes a great college essay topic, but there are some key factors you should keep in mind. The best essays are focused, detailed, revealing and insightful, and finding the right topic is vital to writing a killer essay with all of those qualities.

As you go through your ideas, be discriminating—really think about how each topic could work as an essay. But don't be too hard on yourself ; even if an idea may not work exactly the way you first thought, there may be another way to approach it. Pay attention to what you're really excited about and look for ways to make those ideas work.

Consideration 1: Does It Matter to You?

If you don't care about your topic, it will be hard to convince your readers to care about it either. You can't write a revealing essay about yourself unless you write about a topic that is truly important to you.

But don't confuse important to you with important to the world: a college essay is not a persuasive argument. The point is to give the reader a sense of who you are , not to make a political or intellectual point. The essay needs to be personal.

Similarly, a lot of students feel like they have to write about a major life event or their most impressive achievement. But the purpose of a personal statement isn't to serve as a resume or a brag sheet—there are plenty of other places in the application for you to list that information. Many of the best essays are about something small because your approach to a common experience generally reveals a lot about your perspective on the world.

Mostly, your topic needs to have had a genuine effect on your outlook , whether it taught you something about yourself or significantly shifted your view on something else.

Consideration 2: Does It Tell the Reader Something Different About You?

Your essay should add something to your application that isn't obvious elsewhere. Again, there are sections for all of your extracurriculars and awards; the point of the essay is to reveal something more personal that isn't clear just from numbers and lists.

You also want to make sure that if you're sending more than one essay to a school—like a Common App personal statement and a school-specific supplement—the two essays take on different topics.

Consideration 3: Is It Specific?

Your essay should ultimately have a very narrow focus. 650 words may seem like a lot, but you can fill it up very quickly. This means you either need to have a very specific topic from the beginning or find a specific aspect of a broader topic to focus on.

If you try to take on a very broad topic, you'll end up with a bunch of general statements and boring lists of your accomplishments. Instead, you want to find a short anecdote or single idea to explore in depth .

Consideration 4: Can You Discuss It in Detail?

A vague essay is a boring essay— specific details are what imbue your essay with your personality . For example, if I tell my friend that I had a great dessert yesterday, she probably won't be that interested. But if I explain that I ate an amazing piece of peach raspberry pie with flaky, buttery crust and filling that was both sweet and tart, she will probably demand to know where I obtained it (at least she will if she appreciates the joys of pie). She'll also learn more about me: I love pie and I analyze desserts with great seriousness.

Given the importance of details, writing about something that happened a long time ago or that you don't remember well isn't usually a wise choice . If you can't describe something in depth, it will be challenging to write a compelling essay about it.

You also shouldn't pick a topic you aren't actually comfortable talking about . Some students are excited to write essays about very personal topics, like their mother's bipolar disorder or their family's financial struggles, but others dislike sharing details about these kinds of experiences. If you're a member of the latter group, that's totally okay, just don't write about one of these sensitive topics.

Still, don't worry that every single detail has to be perfectly correct. Definitely don't make anything up, but if you remember a wall as green and it was really blue, your readers won't notice or care.

Consideration 5: Can It Be Related to the Prompt?

As long as you're talking about yourself, there are very few ideas that you can't tie back to one of the Common App or Coalition App prompts. But if you're applying to a school with its own more specific prompt, or working on supplemental essays, making sure to address the question will be a greater concern.

Deciding on a Topic

Once you've gone through the questions above, you should have a good sense of what you want to write about. Hopefully, it's also gotten you started thinking about how you can best approach that topic, but we'll cover how to plan your essay more fully in the next step.

If after going through the narrowing process, you've eliminated all your topics, first look back over them: are you being too hard on yourself? Are there any that you really like, but just aren't totally sure what angle to take on? If so, try looking at the next section and seeing if you can't find a different way to approach it.

If you just don't have an idea you're happy with, that's okay! Give yourself a week to think about it. Sometimes you'll end up having a genius idea in the car on the way to school or while studying for your U.S. history test. Otherwise, try the brainstorming process again when you've had a break.

If, on the other hand, you have more than one idea you really like, consider whether any of them can be used for other essays you need to write.

Example: Picking Eva's Topic

• Love of books
• Failed job interview
• Parents' divorce

Eva immediately rules out writing about playing piano, because it sounds super boring to her, and it's not something she is particularly passionate about. She also decides not to write about splitting time between her parents because she just isn't comfortable sharing her feelings about it with an admissions committee.

She feels more positive about the other three, so she decides to think about them for a couple of days. She ends up ruling out the job interview because she just can't come up with that many details she could include.

She's excited about both of her last two ideas, but sees issues with both of them: the books idea is very broad and the reporting idea doesn't seem to apply to any of the prompts. Then she realizes that she can address the solving a problem prompt by talking about a time she was trying to research a story about the closing of a local movie theater, so she decides to go with that topic.

Step 4: Figure Out Your Approach

You've decided on a topic, but now you need to turn that topic into an essay. To do so, you need to determine what specifically you're focusing on and how you'll structure your essay.

If you're struggling or uncertain, try taking a look at some examples of successful college essays . It can be helpful to dissect how other personal statements are structured to get ideas for your own , but don't fall into the trap of trying to copy someone else's approach. Your essay is your story—never forget that.

Let's go through the key steps that will help you turn a great topic into a great essay.

Choose a Focal Point

As I touched on above, the narrower your focus, the easier it will be to write a unique, engaging personal statement. The simplest way to restrict the scope of your essay is to recount an anecdote , i.e. a short personal story that illustrates your larger point.

For example, say a student was planning to write about her Outward Bound trip in Yosemite. If she tries to tell the entire story of her trip, her essay will either be far too long or very vague. Instead, she decides to focus in on a specific incident that exemplifies what mattered to her about the experience: her failed attempt to climb Half Dome. She described the moment she decided to turn back without reaching the top in detail, while touching on other parts of the climb and trip where appropriate. This approach lets her create a dramatic arc in just 600 words, while fully answering the question posed in the prompt (Common App prompt 2).

Of course, concentrating on an anecdote isn't the only way to narrow your focus. Depending on your topic, it might make more sense to build your essay around an especially meaningful object, relationship, or idea.

Another approach our example student from above could take to the same general topic would be to write about the generosity of fellow hikers (in response to Common App prompt 4). Rather than discussing a single incident, she could tell the story of her trip through times she was supported by other hikers: them giving tips on the trails, sharing snacks, encouraging her when she was tired, etc. A structure like this one can be trickier than the more straightforward anecdote approach , but it can also make for an engaging and different essay.

When deciding what part of your topic to focus on, try to find whatever it is about the topic that is most meaningful and unique to you . Once you've figured that part out, it will guide how you structure the essay.

Decide What You Want to Show About Yourself

Remember that the point of the college essay isn't just to tell a story, it's to show something about yourself. It's vital that you have a specific point you want to make about what kind of person you are , what kind of college student you'd make, or what the experience you're describing taught you.

Since the papers you write for school are mostly analytical, you probably aren't used to writing about your own feelings. As such, it can be easy to neglect the reflection part of the personal statement in favor of just telling a story. Yet explaining what the event or idea you discuss meant to you is the most important essay —knowing how you want to tie your experiences back to your personal growth from the beginning will help you make sure to include it.

Develop a Structure

It's not enough to just know what you want to write about—you also need to have a sense of how you're going to write about it. You could have the most exciting topic of all time, but without a clear structure your essay will end up as incomprehensible gibberish that doesn't tell the reader anything meaningful about your personality.

There are a lot of different possible essay structures, but a simple and effective one is the compressed narrative, which builds on a specific anecdote (like the Half Dome example above):

Start in the middle of the action. Don't spend a lot of time at the beginning of your essay outlining background info—it doesn't tend to draw the reader in and you usually need less of it than you think you do. Instead start right where your story starts to get interesting. (I'll go into how to craft an intriguing opener in more depth below.)

Briefly explain what the situation is. Now that you've got the reader's attention, go back and explain anything they need to know about how you got into this situation. Don't feel compelled to fit everything in—only include the background details that are necessary to either understand what happened or illuminate your feelings about the situation in some way.

Finish the story. Once you've clarified exactly what's going on, explain how you resolved the conflict or concluded the experience.

Explain what you learned. The last step is to tie everything together and bring home the main point of your story: how this experience affected you.

The key to this type of structure is to create narrative tension—you want your reader to be wondering what happens next.

A second approach is the thematic structure, which is based on returning to a key idea or object again and again (like the boots example above):

Establish the focus. If you're going to structure your essay around a single theme or object, you need to begin the essay by introducing that key thing. You can do so with a relevant anecdote or a detailed description.

Touch on 3-5 times the focus was important. The body of your essay will consist of stringing together a few important moments related to the topic. Make sure to use sensory details to bring the reader into those points in time and keep her engaged in the essay. Also remember to elucidate why these moments were important to you.

Revisit the main idea. At the end, you want to tie everything together by revisiting the main idea or object and showing how your relationship to it has shaped or affected you. Ideally, you'll also hint at how this thing will be important to you going forward.

To make this structure work you need a very specific focus. Your love of travel, for example, is much too broad—you would need to hone in on a specific aspect of that interest, like how traveling has taught you to adapt to event the most unusual situations. Whatever you do, don't use this structure to create a glorified resume or brag sheet .

However you structure your essay, you want to make sure that it clearly lays out both the events or ideas you're describing and establishes the stakes (i.e. what it all means for you). Many students become so focused on telling a story or recounting details that they forget to explain what it all meant to them.

Example: Eva's Essay Plan

For her essay, Eva decides to use the compressed narrative structure to tell the story of how she tried and failed to report on the closing of a historic movie theater:

• Open with the part of her story where she finally gave up after calling the theater and city hall a dozen times.
• Explain that although she started researching the story out of journalistic curiosity, it was important to her because she'd grown up going to movies at that theater.
• Recount how defeated she felt when she couldn't get ahold of anyone, and then even more so when she saw a story about the theater's closing in the local paper.
• Describer her decision to write an op-ed instead and interview other students about what the theater meant to them.
• Finish by explaining that although she wasn't able to get the story (or stop the destruction of the theater), she learned that sometimes the emotional angle can be just as interesting as the investigative one.

Step 5: Write a First Draft

The key to writing your first draft is not to worry about whether it's any good—just get something on paper and go from there. You will have to rewrite, so trying to get everything perfect is both frustrating and futile.

Everyone has their own writing process. Maybe you feel more comfortable sitting down and writing the whole draft from beginning to end in one go. Maybe you jump around, writing a little bit here and a little there. It's okay to have sections you know won't work or to skip over things you think you'll need to include later.

Whatever your approach, there are a few tips everyone can benefit from.

Don't Aim for Perfection

I mentioned this idea above, but I can't emphasize it enough: no one writes a perfect first draft . Extensive editing and rewriting is vital to crafting an effective personal statement. Don't get too attached to any part of your draft, because you may need to change anything (or everything) about your essay later .

Also keep in mind that, at this point in the process, the goal is just to get your ideas down. Wonky phrasings and misplaced commas can easily be fixed when you edit, so don't worry about them as you write. Instead, focus on including lots of specific details and emphasizing how your topic has affected you, since these aspects are vital to a compelling essay.

Write an Engaging Introduction

One part of the essay you do want to pay special attention to is the introduction. Your intro is your essay's first impression: you only get one. It's much harder to regain your reader's attention once you've lost it, so you want to draw the reader in with an immediately engaging hook that sets up a compelling story .

There are two possible approaches I would recommend.

The "In Media Res" Opening

You'll probably recognize this term if you studied The Odyssey: it basically means that the story starts in the middle of the action, rather than at the beginning. A good intro of this type makes the reader wonder both how you got to the point you're starting at and where you'll go from there . These openers provide a solid, intriguing beginning for narrative essays (though they can certainly for thematic structures as well).

But how do you craft one? Try to determine the most interesting point in your story and start there. If you're not sure where that is, try writing out the entire story and then crossing out each sentence in order until you get to one that immediately grabs your attention.

Here's an example from a real student's college essay:

"I strode in front of 400 frenzied eighth graders with my arm slung over my Fender Stratocaster guitar—it actually belonged to my mother—and launched into the first few chords of Nirvana's 'Lithium.'"

Anonymous , University of Virginia

This intro throws the reader right into the middle of the action. The author jumps right into the action: the performance. You can imagine how much less exciting it would be if the essay opened with an explanation of what the event was and why the author was performing.

The Specific Generalization

Sounds like an oxymoron, right? This type of intro sets up what the essay is going to talk about in a slightly unexpected way . These are a bit trickier than the "in media res" variety, but they can work really well for the right essay—generally one with a thematic structure.

The key to this type of intro is detail . Contrary to what you may have learned in elementary school, sweeping statements don't make very strong hooks. If you want to start your essay with a more overall description of what you'll be discussing, you still need to make it specific and unique enough to stand out.

Once again, let's look at some examples from real students' essays:

Neha, Johns Hopkins University

Brontë, Johns Hopkins University

Both of these intros set up the general topic of the essay (the first writer's bookshelf and and the second's love of Jane Eyre ) in an intriguing way. The first intro works because it mixes specific descriptions ("pushed against the left wall in my room") with more general commentary ("a curious piece of furniture"). The second draws the reader in by adopting a conversational and irreverent tone with asides like "if you ask me" and "This may or may not be a coincidence."

Don't Worry Too Much About the Length

When you start writing, don't worry about your essay's length. Instead, focus on trying to include all of the details you can think of about your topic , which will make it easier to decide what you really need to include when you edit.

However, if your first draft is more than twice the word limit and you don't have a clear idea of what needs to be cut out, you may need to reconsider your focus—your topic is likely too broad. You may also need to reconsider your topic or approach if you find yourself struggling to fill space, since this usually indicates a topic that lacks a specific focus.

Eva's First Paragraph

I dialed the phone number for the fourth time that week. "Hello? This is Eva Smith, and I'm a reporter with Tiny Town High's newspaper The Falcon. I was hoping to ask you some questions about—" I heard the distinctive click of the person on the other end of the line hanging up, followed by dial tone. I was about ready to give up: I'd been trying to get the skinny on whether the Atlas Theater was actually closing to make way for a big AMC multiplex or if it was just a rumor for weeks, but no one would return my calls.

Step 6: Edit Aggressively

No one writes a perfect first draft. No matter how much you might want to be done after writing a first draft—you must take the time to edit. Thinking critically about your essay and rewriting as needed is a vital part of writing a great college essay.

Before you start editing, put your essay aside for a week or so . It will be easier to approach it objectively if you haven't seen it in a while. Then, take an initial pass to identify any big picture issues with your essay. Once you've fixed those, ask for feedback from other readers—they'll often notice gaps in logic that don't appear to you, because you're automatically filling in your intimate knowledge of the situation. Finally, take another, more detailed look at your essay to fine tune the language.

I've explained each of these steps in more depth below.

First Editing Pass

You should start the editing process by looking for any structural or thematic issues with your essay . If you see sentences that don't make sense or glaring typos of course fix them, but at this point, you're really focused on the major issues since those require the most extensive rewrites. You don't want to get your sentences beautifully structured only to realize you need to remove the entire paragraph.

This phase is really about honing your structure and your voice . As you read through your essay, think about whether it effectively draws the reader along, engages him with specific details, and shows why the topic matters to you. Try asking yourself the following questions:

• Does the intro make you want to read more?
• Is the progression of events and/or ideas clear?
• Does the essay show something specific about you? What is it and can you clearly identify it in the essay?
• Are there places where you could replace vague statements with more specific ones?
• Do you have too many irrelevant or uninteresting details clogging up the narrative?
• Is it too long? What can you cut out or condense without losing any important ideas or details?

Give yourself credit for what you've done well, but don't hesitate to change things that aren't working. It can be tempting to hang on to what you've already written —you took the time and thought to craft it in the first place, so it can be hard to let it go. Taking this approach is doing yourself a disservice, however. No matter how much work you put into a paragraph or much you like a phrase, if they aren't adding to your essay, they need to be cut or altered.

If there's a really big structural problem, or the topic is just not working, you may have to chuck this draft out and start from scratch . Don't panic! I know starting over is frustrating, but it's often the best way to fix major issues.

Consulting Other Readers

Once you've fixed the problems you found on the first pass and have a second (or third) draft you're basically happy with, ask some other people to read it. Check with people whose judgment you trust : parents, teachers, and friends can all be great resources, but how helpful someone will be depends on the individual and how willing you are to take criticism from her.

Also, keep in mind that many people, even teachers, may not be familiar with what colleges look for in an essay. Your mom, for example, may have never written a personal statement, and even if she did, it was most likely decades ago. Give your readers a sense of what you'd like them to read for , or print out the questions I listed above and include them at the end of your essay.

Second Pass

After incorporating any helpful feedback you got from others, you should now have a nearly complete draft with a clear arc.

At this point you want to look for issues with word choice and sentence structure:

• Are there parts that seem stilted or overly formal?
• Do you have any vague or boring descriptors that could be replaced with something more interesting and specific?
• Are there any obvious redundancies or repetitiveness?
• Have you misused any words?
• Are your sentences of varied length and structure?

A good way to check for weirdness in language is to read the essay out loud. If something sounds weird when you say it, it will almost certainly seem off when someone else reads it.

Example: Editing Eva's First Paragraph

In general, Eva feels like her first paragraph isn't as engaging as it could be and doesn't introduce the main point of the essay that well: although it sets up the narrative, it doesn't show off her personality that well. She decides to break it down sentence by sentence:

I dialed the phone number for the fourth time that week.

Problem: For a hook, this sentence is a little too expository. It doesn't add any real excitement or important information (other than that this call isn't the first, which can be incorporate elsewhere.

Solution: Cut this sentence and start with the line of dialogue.

"Hello? This is Eva Smith, and I'm a reporter with Tiny Town High's newspaper The Falcon. I was hoping to ask you some questions about—"

Problem: No major issues with this sentence. It's engaging and sets the scene effectively.

Solution: None needed, but Eva does tweak it slightly to include the fact that this call wasn't her first.

I heard the distinctive click of the person on the other end of the line hanging up, followed by dial tone.

Problem: This is a long-winded way of making a point that's not that important.

Solution: Replace it with a shorter, more evocative description: " Click. Bzzzzzzz. Whoever was on the other end of the line had hung up."

I was about ready to give up: I'd been trying to get the skinny on whether the Atlas Theater was actually closing to make way for a big AMC multiplex or if it was just a rumor for weeks, but no one would return my calls.

Problem: This sentence is kind of long. Some of the phrases ("about ready to give up," "get the skinny") are cliche.

Solution: Eva decides to try to stick more closely to her own perspective: "I'd heard rumors that Atlas Theater was going to be replaced with an AMC multiplex, and I was worried." She also puts a paragraph break before this sentence to emphasize that she's now moving on to the background info rather than describing her call.

Step 7: Double Check Everything

Once you have a final draft, give yourself another week and then go through your essay again. Read it carefully to make sure nothing seems off and there are no obvious typos or errors. Confirm that you are at or under the word limit.

Then, go over the essay again, line by line , checking every word to make sure that it's correct. Double check common errors that spell check may not catch, like mixing up affect and effect or misplacing commas.

Finally, have two other readers check it as well . Oftentimes a fresh set of eyes will catch an issue you've glossed over simply because you've been looking at the essay for so long. Give your readers instructions to only look for typos and errors, since you don't want to be making any major content changes at this point in the process.

This level of thoroughness may seem like overkill, but it's worth taking the time to ensure that you don't have any errors. The last thing you want is for an admissions officer to be put off by a typo or error.

Example: Eva's Final Draft (Paragraphs 1 and 2)

"Hello? This is Eva Smith again. I'm a reporter with Tiny Town High's newspaper The Falcon , and I was hoping to ask you some questions about —" Click. Bzzzzzzz. Whoever was on the other end of the line had hung up.

I'd heard rumors that the historic Atlas Theater was going to be replaced with an AMC multiplex, and I was worried. I'd grown up with the Atlas: my dad taking me to see every Pixar movie on opening night and buying me Red Vines to keep me distracted during the sad parts. Unfortunately my personal history with the place didn't seem to carry much weight with anyone official, and my calls to both the theater and city hall had thus far gone unanswered.

Once you've finished the final check, you're done, and ready to submit! There's one last step, however.

Step 8: Do It All Again

Remember back in step one, when we talked about making a chart to keep track of all the different essays you need to write? Well, now you need to go back to that list and determine which essays you still need to write . Keep in mind your deadlines and don't forget that some schools may require more than one essay or ask for short paragraphs in addition to the main personal statement.

Reusing Essays

In some cases, you may be able to reuse the essay you've already written for other prompts. You can use the same essay for two prompts if:

Both of them are asking the same basic question (e.g. "how do you interact with people who are different from you?" or "what was an important experience and why?"), or

One prompt is relatively specific and the other is very general (e.g. "tell us about how your family shaped your education" and "tell us something about your background"), and

Neither asks about your interest in a specific school or program.

If you choose to reuse an essay you wrote for a different prompt, make sure that it addresses every part of question and that it fits the word limit. If you have to tweak a few things or cut out 50-odd words, it will probably still work. But if the essay would require major changes to fit the criteria, you're probably better off starting from scratch (even if you use the same basic topic).

Crafting Supplemental Essays

The key to keep in mind in when brainstorming for supplemental essays is that you want them to add something new to your application . You shouldn't write about the same topic you used for your personal statement, although it's okay to talk about something similar, as long as you adopt a clearly different angle.

For example, if you're planning to be pre-med in college and your main essay is about how volunteering at the hospital taught you not to judge people on their appearance, you might write your secondary essay on your intellectual interest in biology (which could touch on your volunteering). There's some overlap, but the two topics are clearly distinct.

And now, you're really, truly, finally done. Congrats!

What's Next?

Now that you know how to write a college essay, we have a lot more specific resources for you to excel.

Are you working on the Common App essay ? Read our breakdown of the Common App prompts and our guide to picking the best prompt for you.

Or maybe you're interested in the University of California ? Check out our complete guide to the UC personal statements .

In case you haven't finished the rest of the application process , take a look at our guides to asking for recommendations , writing about extracurriculars , and researching colleges .

Finally, if you're planning to take the SAT or ACT one last time , try out some of our famous test prep guides, like "How to Get a Perfect Score on the SAT" and "15 Key ACT Test Day Tips."

Alex is an experienced tutor and writer. Over the past five years, she has worked with almost a hundred students and written about pop culture for a wide range of publications. She graduated with honors from University of Chicago, receiving a BA in English and Anthropology, and then went on to earn an MA at NYU in Cultural Reporting and Criticism. In high school, she was a National Merit Scholar, took 12 AP tests and scored 99 percentile scores on the SAT and ACT.

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The Game of Life: College Sports and Educational Values

James L. Shulman & William G. Bowen Princeton, NJ: Princeton UP, 2001 448 pp., $27.95 hc

Steve Lockwood English MSU-Northern

The Game of Life uncloaks an area of higher education that has been masked by hyperbole and shielded by commercial interests. The authors, both former athletes with fond feelings for sports, examine the effects of Intercollegiate Athletics (ICA) to help determine their value for today's campus. In what ways, and to what extent, do sports contribute to the mission of educating undergraduates? Their answer will surprise some, and outrage others.

Both authors are qualified for this task. Shulman is Financial and Administrative Officer at the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation; Bowen is the foundation's president and was formerly President of Princeton University, where he was also Professor of Economics. With such clout, Shulman and Bowen have gathered information that otherwise would have been hard to pry out of administrators. Data also come from a restricted-access database called College and Beyond that was built by the Mellon Foundation with the cooperation of 30 selective schools who support ICA. This database contains "extremely detailed" information on 90,000 undergraduate students and student athletes from 1951 through the 1990s (xxix). The authors also "made extensive use" of linked data sets kept by the College Board and by UCLA's Cooperative Institutional Research Program (xxx). This enormous mass of quantitative data allows the authors to test six long-accepted contentions about ICA.

Contention #1 is that excellent schools can be competitive both in the classroom and on the playing field. In support of this belief, many cite the example of Northwestern University, perennial football doormat in the Big Ten. In 1995, Northwestern stunned everyone by winning the conference and appearing in the Rose Bowl for the first time in 46 years. As a result of this single remarkable season, the new president and several donors felt the school was ready to compete seriously with the rest of the conference teams. "Seriously" meant attempting parity with other league schools in facilities, coaches, and recruiting. So, Northwestern spent $22 million to renovate its dilapidated football stadium and to build new indoor training centers; signed the football coach to a 10-year contract guaranteeing $500,000 per year; and engaged in questionable recruiting practices (several players were involved in gambling schemes and were indicted a year after the Rose Bowl season on federal gambling charges [xx]). At each division of intercollegiate athletics (in ascending order of competitive prowess, Division III, II, 1AAA, 1AA, and 1A), /1/ colleges face more pressure to stay even with other schools in recruiting, scholarships, facilities, numbers of coaches, trainers, tutors, and victories (228, 234, 238). This is a difficult undertaking for schools that do not have the financial resources of their peers in the same division. For Northwestern, which averages 15,000 fewer undergraduates than its league partners, it has proved draining and stressful. The opportunity costs here are often significant; that is, resources that would have gone elsewhere are used to support athletics.

Contention #2 is that gender equity is giving women new opportunities to play sports at all levels of the educational system. Shulman and Bowen find plenty of evidence that supports this widely held conclusion. Except for the women's colleges, in the 1950s there weren't many chances other than club sports (like intramurals) for women to participate at the collegiate level. The Title IX amendment to the 1972 Omnibus Education Act has significantly increased the chances for women by mandating that women be provided opportunity equal to men for participation in ICA (see also 377n14). While vitriolic arguing (and lawsuits) continue (115-16) over definitions of "equal" and "opportunity," the result of Title IX has been a proliferation of team sports for women. When the NCAA saw that women's sports would grow significantly enough to be worth controlling, it brought them under its well-heeled umbrella. But as a result, women's sports and the athletes who participate in them have become more and more like the men's programs, with the attendant glories, problems, and opportunity costs.

Contention #3 asserts that playing sports builds character. There is anecdotal evidence on both sides of this contention. While it's true that Senator Bradley played sports at Princeton, so did double-murderer Lyle Menendez. Most psychologists believe that character is formed early in one's life. /2/ So, involvement in ICA may not develop character as much as exhibit and reinforce existing character traits. Shulman and Bowen suggest that most student athletes come to college with such clearly defined tendencies as high energy, loyalty to a specific group (team or athletic program), conservative politics, and single-minded pursuit of a goal. While all these traits might be usefully harnessed for academic and civic good, the authors found that more often they are reinforced in ways that can be destructive. These negative outcomes are not intended by the athletic program, but are the dark half of those traits valued by precept and practice in competitive sports. The more competitive the level of play, the more likely the occurrence of negative outcomes at some point in the athlete's life. /3/ For example, loyalty to the team often translates, in a business environment, into going along with the group rather than defending an unpopular stance. Intense focus on a goal is likely to produce the citizen worker who forges ahead with a plan even when a consideration of alternatives might develop a more desirable outcome.

Contention #4 holds that today's athletes are like those of the past. True, but only in the sense that both are called "athletes." Today's athletes are much better conditioned, nourished, trained, and coached than their grandfathers, as the steady stream of broken records amply demonstrates. But along with increased athletic prowess comes a set of attitudes and aptitudes which differ considerably from those of past athletes. The Game of Life also finds that today's athletes off the playing field often don't measure up to athletes of the past. They tend to have lower SAT or ACT scores (44), think of themselves as leaders yet assume few such positions both in school and after (192), underperform academically based on what their entrance exams predict (68-70, 146-48), and go to college with the primary goal of making a lot of money (56). On this last point, The Game of Life shows that, overwhelmingly, athletes tend to major in business (78, 80), with the result that many business courses are oversubscribed while many liberal arts, math and science courses are underenrolled (75, 152). This concentration of athletes in one discipline is most noticeable at schools with small enrollments, where athletes may constitute 20% or so of undergraduates (57, 269). In the 1950s, athletes (mostly men) were virtually indistinguishable from their classmates in aptitude and academic performance--if anything, they slightly outperformed their peers (62-64). Now, such an athlete is a rare bird (66-68).

Contention #5 asserts that schools worry about their sports programs for the sake of the alumni. As is true in politics, a vocal minority of alums can have disproportionate influence on athletic policy at a university. When Princeton dropped wrestling to contain costs and free enrollment slots held for wrestlers, a number of former Princeton wrestlers howled with indignation, ultimately offering to finance the sport completely if the college would keep it. Eventually, the alumni at Princeton wrestled an agreement for a privately funded program with no reserved admission slots and no University financial support. Why are schools so inclined to satisfy alumni? Well, they are satisfying only a small group of alumni, actually. Former athletes often wind up in voluntary leadership positions in the school's alumni association, where they often lobby for more support of athletics. Alumni leaders who were athletes are more inclined than other alumni (including athletes) to favor not only more support for athletics but also less for liberal arts and intellectual freedom. In contrast, alumni generally, including former athletes not in alumni leadership positions, overwhelmingly favor less institutional support for ICA. These alumni also want more support for undergraduate teaching, residential life, intellectual freedom, other extracurricular activities, broad liberal arts education, and diversification (socio-economically and racially) of the student body (201). Shulman and Bowen remind us that trustees and regents in their policy decisions have been unduly influenced by vocal minorities of athletic boosters, and that such decisions have the most pronounced effects at schools with smaller enrollments, like those in Montana. This influence is magnified by the increasing tendency of former athletes to give less when their school's team has a losing season (220-21).

Contention #6, the last--one which might be called a myth--is that college sports programs make money. This is not only untrue, it's a criminal fraud perpetrated on taxpayers. As economist Roger Noll shows in his 1999 article "The Business of College Sports and the High Cost of Winning," schools regularly do not record capital costs (upkeep, new facilities) as part of the costs associated with their sports programs. /4/ If these costs are considered, no school "makes money" from its ICA sports--not even the University of Michigan, which reports $47 million in athletic expenditures per year and $50 million in income. This apparent profit of $3 million is usually swallowed by capital costs. So, a shortfall occurs despite selling out each football game in a stadium that holds over 110,000 fans. That's because football is an especially expensive endeavor; in 1998 Stanford spent $8.3 million, Michigan and Notre Dame $9 million each, and Penn State $13.2 million on football. For most of these 1A schools, football and basketball account for half of the athletic expenses; at the Division III coed schools, these two sports account for less than 20% of their team-specific expenditures (233). None of these figures includes any of the large amounts of money in athletic budgets that support "general infrastructure"--administration, marketing, ticket sale expenses, and so on. Nor do they include capital costs which, when added, dramatically increase the actual costs of ICA. /5/

All schools are required to submit to the NCAA publicly available Equity in Athletics Disclosure Act (EADA) forms which show athletic expenditures by category. But even these forms, by using averages, allow schools to mask the extent of many costs. And the several finance studies conducted by the NCAA and others have often allowed general fund spending to be counted together with revenues obtained from outside sources, making the grand totals in the revenue columns on the EADA forms meaningless for many schools (244). And some schools engage in accounting scams that rival those of tarnished firm Arthur Anderson to hide the amount of general fund support that they provide as subsidies to these sports. /6/ The more general fund moneys that subsidize ICA, the less for other extracurricular activities like band, drama, debate, student government, and "everything from the Anti-Gravity Society to the Chinese Calligraphy Association" (253).

Duke's EADA form, for example, shows revenues exceeding expenses by over $2 million; but the authors found from Duke officials that the university provides the athletic department with a general fund subsidy of nearly $5 million. Ignoring capital costs in discussing the costs of ICA is deliberately misleading; since ICA are very capital intensive, "it is foolish to talk (and act) as if these costs did not exist" (250). No one so far has succeeded in preventing expenditures associated with ICA from growing, and what's worse, generally growing faster than other institutional expenses (254). "As a money-making venture," the authors say, "athletics is a bad business" (257).

Unfortunately, The Game of Life spends very little time assessing the recruitment value of ICA except for athletes. Knowing how much sway ICA programs have for potential non-athletes could prove helpful in arguments for continuing or discontinuing support for them. Evidently, the College and Beyond database doesn't provide such data. It also may focus too narrowly on schools with selective entrance requirements. While the book competently demonstrates the impacts of ICA on schools like these, it does not directly discuss impacts on, for example, NAIA schools. As a result, its conclusions risk being ignored by officers of NAIA schools. (See note 1 for Montana's NAIA schools.) But to ignore such persuasive data would be irrational. Like it or not, what The Game of Life has to say about the impacts of campus athletics likely applies to NAIA schools, too.

How might the study's findings bear on ICA in Montana? Shulman and Bowen list a number of consequences for schools involved in ICA, but the core message of the book focuses on the widening gap between athletics and academic performance, a divide which becomes more important "in a time when the good of the society is increasingly dependent on the effective development and deployment of intellectual capital" (269). The Carnegie Commission in 1929 examined college athletics and pronounced its two major defects to be "commercialism, and a negligent attitude toward the educational opportunity for which the college exists" (268). So the concern is not new, but has been exacerbated by intensified recruiting and the general expansion of ICA. Furthermore, the direct educational consequences are much more serious at schools where athletics constitutes 15 to 35 percent of the student body, as is the case with Montana Tech, MSUN, and Western. Coupled with the finding that ICA have become less and less central to the main campus scene and a long-term decline in student attendance at college sporting events (272-73), an obvious question is whether so much money needs to be spent to reap the meager benefits of a well-conceived athletic program.

Perhaps the benefits of competition and athletic involvement can be increased, and the costs reduced significantly, by a program focused on club sports. The idea is not absurd, and has been suggested by a University of Michigan president. /7/ Let's talk money. Schools never seem to have enough to repair facilities, hire and keep professors, and develop academic programs, let alone to subsidize ICA. As we have seen, capital and operating costs sharply increase expenses, and along with scholarships and financial aid, coaching costs, and recruiting costs constitute the bulk of ICA programs' spending. If Montana schools scaled back their ICA programs, or (to go to extremes) converted them completely to club sports, the considerable sums now devoted to ICA could in the most optimistic scenario be spread among many other academic and extracurricular activities. At the worst, the sums simply wouldn't need to be spent.

In its Winter 2000 issue, the Montana Professor printed direct costs (excluding capital costs, of course) for most Montana University System ICA programs in fiscal year 1998, which can serve as a reference. But to take examples from this past year: Bozeman's renovation of its fieldhouse has cost it nearly $13 million, requiring tuition increases and other surtaxes, and still the school faces a $1 million deficit for this year alone (Gail Schontzler, "Consultants recommend higher athletic fees for MSU students," Bozeman Daily Chronicle, 7 Nov. 2001). Two years ago, when MSU-Bozeman fired its football coach (and subcoaches), it incurred the costs of the new coach (and his staff) plus new uniforms, paying both sets of coaches till the contracts of the old expired, an adventure that cost at least a half million dollars. Bozeman is also paying $225,000 to settle the wrongful firing lawsuits of two women's basketball coaches. /8/ The University of Montana's participation in the 2001 national football title game cost the school approximately $150,000 more than budgeted, money it had to squeeze from some University funding source, money that won't be spent on, for example, theater or foreign language education. /9/ In the 2002 season, MSU-Northern was embroiled in legal maneuvering to dismiss its women's basketball coach; no word yet on what these costs are, but he did not exit quietly, and legal contests are rarely cheap. /10/ And these examples are joined by the worse publicity stemming from assistant coaches brawling in barrooms (Bozeman), football players arrested for theft (Missoula), and such other infractions that involve athletes--not that other students don't run afoul of the law, but when athletes do, the press is more likely to report it.

At times universities do decide that the financial pressures of ICA undercut the school's academic mission. In the Big Sky Conference, Cal State Northridge decided that it could no longer justify the $1.3 million it spent just on football, and so axed it; the state of Idaho may drop all ICA at its public colleges and universities in order to redirect that $13.12 million into academic programs. /11/ But this is unusual. Due mostly to political pressures from constituents (alumni, trustees, general public, students), most colleges "cannot hope to adopt the kinds of changes suggested here acting alone; they will need to act in concert, and perhaps to form new competitive groupings" (304). This may be particularly true in Montana, where schools are desperate for enrollment and the state dollars attached. Montana school officials (and faculty, too) periodically justify involvement in ICA because of the additional enrollment it is supposed to bring.

At MSU-Northern, for example, football was reinstituted after 20-some years because the chancellor said his calculations showed that this ICA program would generate 100 new FTE students. Also, he announced that anonymous (!) community leaders had pledged $250,000 to help restart football, if only MSUN would match the amount. Never mind that The Game of Life suggests that public opinion shouldn't determine school policy, and shows this enrollment outcome to be extremely unlikely. If this enrollment argument is to be persuasive, it must be supported by data showing how many FTE actually enrolled because of football. But the regents did not require, nor did the chancellor offer, any such plan--despite pleas from faculty members to establish one. Thus began MSUN's annual outlay of $190,000+ in direct costs (Chancellor Bill Daehling, "A Proposal to Enhance Enrollment at MSUN By Expanding Athletic Offerings," 12 January 1998). An experienced division 1A president warns against football, saying, "If your school does not have it now, don't start it.... A season or two of 11-0 or 10-1 records and high national ranking will change the culture of your institution and actually damage its academic reputation" (299). Regardless of how optimistically we view football at MSUN, its chances for a high national football ranking seem even more remote than Bozeman's.

The implications and direct recommendations of The Game of Life favor reexamining the generally large proportion of school budgets devoted to ICA "in the light of what each contributes to achieving the mission of the school --and in the light of the other uses that could be made of the same resources if a more frugal approach were adopted.... Does providing an athletic scholarship to a swimmer (or spending money on a full-time golf coach) advance the mission of an educational institution in a way similar to providing a fellowship to a graduate student or spending more on the library? We don't think so" (301; italics in original). The authors remind us that no consequential steps can be taken to rebuild the relationship between college sports and the core educational mission without a clear sense of direction and pointed leadership from regents, presidents, and other chief administrative officers (307).

Derek Bok, president emeritus of Harvard and a longtime observer of college sports, says, "I was always amazed at the amount of wishful thinking and denial on the part of our fellow college presidents.... Perhaps they would be more inclined to resist commercialization and intensification of athletics if they had to face the facts and discuss them periodically with trustees" (308). Especially since the legislature in Montana seems disinclined to boost funding for the Montana University System, the time for such audits and discussions may be upon us.

For lists of schools by division, see the NCAA website <http://ncaa.com>. Schools in The Game of Life study, chosen for their similar admissions standards and academic programs, are Division II private universities Duke, Georgetown, Northwestern, Rice, Stanford, Tulane, Notre Dame, and Vanderbilt; Division 1A public universities Miami of Ohio, Penn State, Michigan, and North Carolina (Chapel Hill); Division 1AA Ivy League universities Columbia, Princeton, Pennsylvania, and Yale; Division III universities Emory, Tufts, and Washington (St. Louis); Division III coed liberal arts colleges Denison, Hamilton, Kenyon, Oberlin, Swarthmore, Wesleyan, and Williams; and Division III women's colleges Barnard, Bryn Mawr, Smith, and Wellesley (xxviii-xxix). MSU-Bozeman and University of Montana-Missoula are Division 1AA schools in the Big Sky Conference; UM-Montana Tech, UM-Western, MSU-Northern, Carroll College, University of Great Falls, and Rocky Mountain College are all NAIA schools of the Frontier Conference (see <http://www.naia.org>). [Back]

For example, see Hugh M. Curtler, Recalling Education (Wilmington, DE: ISI Books, 2001), 137-38. Freud thought character was mostly formed by age 5. [Back]

"Results of in-depth analyses of moral reasoning in sport have shown that athletes have a tendency to shrug off moral decisions as not their responsibility and that they also exhibit a self-serving bias when judging what violent behavior is appropriate." -- Andrew Miracle and Roger Rees, Lessons of the Locker Room (Amherst, NY: Prometheus, 1994), 94. Many more examples of low athletic character in high profile appear at <http://badjocks.com>. [Back]

Noll's article appears in the third quarter issue of Miliken Institute Review (1999), 28. Compare these other studies: Richard Sheehan, Keeping Score: The Economics of Big-Time Sports (South Bend, IN: Diamond Communications, 1996); Murray Sperber, College Sports, Inc.: The Athletic Department vs. the University (New York: Henry Holt, 1990); Andrew Zimbalist, Unpaid Professionals: Commercialism and Conflict in Big-Time College Sports (Princeton, NJ: Princeton UP, 1999). [Back]

"Most athletic budgets make grossly inadequate allowances, if any allowance at all, for the athletics share of central services. But this source of distortion, in contrast to failure to account for capital costs, is probably more important (relatively) at a college or university without big-time High Profile sports" (414n38). [Back]

"Oddities in accounting treatment almost always serve to understate the true costs of athletics" (413n30). [Back]

Page 419n8. See former University of Michigan president James Duderstadt's book Intercollegiate Athletics and the American University: A University President's Perspective (Ann Arbor: U of M Press, 2000). [Back]

"MSU to pay ex-coaches $225,000," Great Falls Tribune, 22 Nov. 2001, 1S. Partly as a result of this litigation, the MSU-Bozeman athletic director "retired" on 1 July 2001. The university continued to pay his $91,000 salary through 30 June 2002. For more, see Sean Kelly, "MSU Athletic Dir. Chuck Linnemenn retires," Bozeman Daily Chronicle, 15 June 2001. For a sampling of MSU-Bozeman's athletic problems, see Tom Lutey, "MSU athletics becomes fair game for critics," Bozeman Daily Chronicle, 17 June 2001. These are online: <http://news.mywebpal.com/partners/311/public/index.html>.Accessed 4 Jan. 2002. [Back]

Kelly Whiteside, "Playoffs a big payoff for players," Great Falls Tribune, 24 December 2001, S1+. In the article, Athletic Director Wayne Hogan says the university's athletic budget is now $9 million. This is up nearly $3 million since 1998; see my guest editorial in The Montana Professor, Winter 2000. [Back]

Tim Eberly, "Judge gives MSUN coach Emerick his job back," Havre Daily News, 3 January 2002, front page. This story also made the Badjocks web site on 4 January 2002 under the headline "Fired College Coach--Caught in Love Triangle with Player and Another Coach--Sues To Get His Job Back." [Back]

Cal State-Northridge still supports 20 ICA teams and reports expenditures for them of nearly $7 million ("Northridge Cuts Football," Great Falls Tribune, 21 November 2001, 2S). Idaho's Board of Education president Blake Hall said, "We have to take a serious look at whether it makes sense to subsidize a small student population to the detrimental effect of other students. It may not be a popular choice, but we have to look at what our priorities are--education or athletics" ("Idaho Education Board Considering Cutting Athletics," Great Falls Tribune, 29 June 2002, 2S). [Back]

The Game of Life / Common App topic # 1

earth 2 / 4   Dec 26, 2012   #2 your essay is good

See an Example of a Successful College Essay and Learn Why It Works

The author of this essay example was admitted to Harvard , Dartmouth , and Washington University in St. Louis.

Essay prompt:

Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

Good Game, Frank

There he is, clad in his “World’s Biggest Fish Fry” baseball cap, neon orange diabetic footsoles, and multicolored top hat à la Dr. Seuss. Four hundred and twenty pounds, bound to his high-backed leather armchair (driven with tender care all the way from humble Cincinnati), and a powerful, scruffy beard eclipsing his oxygen plug: this is Frank Lee, my final opponent at the National Scrabble Championship.

As the result of my transformation from mild-mannered schoolboy to board game connoisseur and Scrabble junkie, I had been feverishly studying until this very moment: the climax of my amateur Scrabble career.

The score is 386 to 326, my favor, and there is only one tile left in the bag. The board has practically become a New York Times Crossword, and not a meager Tuesday or Thursday; this is a full-fledged Sunday. Words like “IXIA” (defined as an African plant with sword-shaped leaves), “LEKU” (a monetary unit of Albania) and “UNAI” (a two-toed sloth) permeate our board; are we truly playing what some Merriam or Webster considered English words?

As I gaze down at my score sheet, attempting to card-count the tiles and ascertain which ones are left, Frank warily examines his side of the chess clock, which reads 1:37, and he nervously plays a W to form “EWE” and “WE” for twenty points. The bag is now empty, and this great, grey grizzly bear of a man now has one minute and thirty seven seconds left, out of his original 25 minutes, in order to gain forty more points.

By the time Frank apprehensively announces “twenty” as his score, I had figured out that the remaining tiles were I, O, N, P, R, S, and another W, an intimidating rack. To block the final Triple Word Score, I play the perfectly pleasant word “URIC,” meaning derived from urine. I announce my meager six-point gain and wait with trepidation for Frank to make his final move. Something is out of place.

After I play my word, Frank’s eyes grow large under his Technicolor bifocals. The clock is ticking down, 37, 36, 35, and soon Frank utters a mammoth sigh and places his S next to the U of “URIC,” forming “US.” I smile; Frank is almost definitely going to play “OWNS” or “WINOS” and I will handily win the game. But then, I see it: an E. I look frantically down at the results of my tile counting again and again, but still do not see an E in what I had calculated. Soon, all of his letters come onto the board at once, forming “ORPINES,” a plant with purple flowers also called a ‘live-forever.’ It dawns on me that I had miscounted the tiles and forgotten to cross off Frank’s W from “EWE.”

My jaw drops almost to table level. Frank had used all of his letters at once, thereby getting a 50-point bonus to his score. He wins the game 425-392. The perfect irony of the situation… the perfect irony of the word itself! I had arrogantly thought that I was the one who would be celebrating, but humble Frank Lee is the one who remains standing (sitting) with the single word that would ‘live forever’ in my mind.

My head hits the table, one of the ubiquitous pieces of folding plastic that dominate the room. How could I be so idiotic? How could I make such a critical mistake? How, how how? But as I sit, silently berating myself to no end, Frank looks up at me and says, “I take no pleasure in that win Christopher.”

I slowly lift my head to see his weathered blue eyes looking genuinely back at mine. He pauses, and it seems to me as though the whole room had gone silent. He looks at me more sincerely than ever before, an impenetrable, wholehearted gaze into my eyes. “I hope you can leave knowing that you’ve come away from this tournament with a better prize than anyone could have given you Christopher, because you deserve to be happy, and you deserve to be happy with what you’ve become.”

The words, the points, and the money all disappear. I look around the room and realize that I am not surrounded by diehard competitors who play this odd game for fame and glory, but by people just like me who had wanted to join this eccentric subculture, who had wanted to finally be accepted in their lives. For us, Scrabble is not about satisfying a vain addiction to competition, but rather about the heartfelt players like Frank Lee who have come together to support one another and their love for the game, foibles and all. I am not playing this game for dollars and cents; I am playing it for a sense of family.

Across the table is not just a man with a striped hat, an oxygen tank, and orange diabetic footsoles; this is a man who had been taken under the wing of our minuscule clique of players, and accepted just the way he is: as a lover of language and a man of honor. Good game, Frank.

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Essay Edited by GradeSaver

"Good Game, Frank" was written by an anonymous student, and edited by a team of professional college-essay editors at GradeSaver .

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Hey Listen Games

Teaching With Video Games

• Feb 14, 2022

I Taught With The Game of Life

What's going on everyone?

The subjects I teach rotate every year. One year I will teach United States History and then the following year, I teach Economics and American Government. This year I am teaching the latter and unfortunately, I am not too personally familiar with many video games that I can properly use in my class to teach economics concepts. So, I decided to step out of my comfort zone a little bit and looked towards board games instead. My first big unit for the year was on personal finance and I thought this could be a really cool opportunity to create a summative project where students play and critique The Game of Life, one of the most popular board games in American history. You can find my lesson plan for The Game of Life here .

There are different versions of the game that exist. My project used a version where the rules are simplified and is easier to setup than the normal version of the game. I intentionally chose this version because I didn't want to waste too much time setting up the board each class day. You can find the version I used here .

The content aim for the lesson is "How true to reality is The Game of Life’s portrayal of personal finance?" Two of the other essential questions for the unit were:

In what ways are the financial consequences of someone’s actions & personal choices often in or out of their control?

How would you modify the game (rules, action cards, careers, etc) in order to make it a better representation of real life.

I wanted my students to take the knowledge of what they have learned about credit cards, medical care, budgeting, cost of children, savings, interest, retirement, debt, etc. and explain how they are represented, misused, or absent in the game. If something is misrepresented, or not even present, then they needed to offer a potential changes to the rules in order to make the game more realistic. This ultimately lead to a full class conversation in a Socratic Seminar and an argumentative essay where they need to argue about whether or not the game is realistic. ( Note : I'm not going to share their essays here because we actually ended up doing a combined interdisciplinary project with their ELA class where they had to make connections between The Game of Life and The Necklace, the book they were reading in their ELA class at the time).

Before we started playing the game, I spent an entire day with my classes only going over the rules. I teach a one hundred percent English as a new language population so I wanted to make sure that everyone had a proper understanding of the rules before jumping in. Again, the rules here are for this specific version of the game. You will need to modify this portion of the lesson if you end up using a different game. We also spent time reading about the different cards in the game. Even while just reading the rules, the students were also noticing factors in the game that don't financially make sense; like receiving $50k at the end of the game for each baby they had.

I broke my classes up into two or three groups. This version of the game is technically only up to four players, so I had students work in pairs. Each board had between four to eight students total. The first big decision the students needed to make was whether or not they were going to attend college. The students who wanted to attend college needed to pay $100K upfront and then proceed down the "College Path." Students who did not want to go to college did not need to pay anything and the begin on the "Career Path." Choosing to go to college does set those students back some money and it took them longer to begin earning money, but their jobs did have higher salaries. The students who pursed a career immediately received money more quickly in the beginning, but their salaries were lower. We had previously had many discussion about the cost of college and what it means to take on student debt. Most students still wanted to pursue the college education, but others were more hesitant because they did not want to have any student debt weighing them down.

We managed to finish playing the game over the course of two 90 minute periods. While they were playing, they were tasked with documenting aspects of the game that they felt were realistic and unrealistic. Some of the things students mentioned were realistic were

Taking a risk and investing money

Spending a lot of money on an education and earning a higher salary for having more education

Paying to go on vacation

Some players losing their jobs

Having an opportunity to go night school

Buying homes and selling them later on

Saving money for retirement

Some aspects of the game that they felt were unrealistic were

Earning money from the Action Cards even though you didn't really do anything to deserve it

Making money by having babies

No one pays taxes in the game

People obtain a new job right after being fired from their previous one even though it may take a while in real life to find a new place to work

After finishing the game, the students had to offer potential changes they would make to the game board or rules in order to make The Game of Life a better representation of real life. The prompts I provided them were

What rules would you add, remove, or modify?

What Action Cards would you add, remove, or modify?

What Career Cards would you add, remove, or modify?

What Spaces would you add, remove, or modify?

The most common aspect of the game that students wanted to change was the reward for having children in the game. The game actively encourages players to have children by rewarding them with $50K for each child. The students noted that it really isn't like that in real life at all. There may be some opportunities for tax credits in real life, but generally speaking you will be spending thousands of dollars each year on children. Adding spaces on the game's board for medical emergencies and taxes were two other popular changes that students wanted to make. Everyone pays taxes in real life and most of the students felt that should be incorporated into the game. Medical emergencies and health care are also very expensive in the United States. The noted that it would be odd to go through your entire life without ever needing to pay to go to the doctor or hospital.

What you don't see in the attached images are all of the students' research and citations. When they wrote their final papers they needed to provide evidence that illustrated which parts of the game were realistic, the parts that were unrealistic, and why their changes to the game would make it more similar to real life. So if a student mentioned that they wanted to add taxes into the game, then they needed to figure out how much taxes people in different salary brackets would need to pay. If they wanted to add medical emergencies then they would need to find what the average cost of medical care is for Americans or how much medical debt the average American holds. If they wanted players to pay money for each child they had in the game, then they needed to find evidence that showed what the average cost of a child usually is in the United States.

This research aspect of the project forced students to think more closely about the changes they wanted to make in the game. They couldn't just add something for no reason. They needed to be very deliberate when making their modifications to the rules. Most of this evidence came out of the many articles we read over the several weeks before playing the game. They had plenty of prior knowledge ready to access.

This ended up being some of the most fun we have had over the past two years. Last year my school was entirely remote. The school year consisted of me teaching on Zoom to a bunch of black boxes. There was very little interaction and only some students felt comfortable speaking or showing their faces. Most only wanted to write in the chat. This year has been extremely refreshing as we are finally all talking to each other again. And bringing in a game made class fun. It was incredibly interactive and students were having a great time. That in combination with their learning made for a fantastic summative assessment to a personal finance unit. It has definitely inspired me to continue finding ways to bring board games into my classroom. Don't get me wrong, video games are still my thing, but board games clearly have their place in education as well and I hope more teachers will begin to use them.

Thanks for reading,

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I also recently published 2 books on teaching with video games . I hope some of you get the opportunity to check them out some day.

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The Skyline Post

College & Career Prep

“Life is like Chess” My Take On Writing A College Essay

Graham Unsworth , Journalist | January 11, 2023

Lon Horwedel

“Writing a college essay gets easier as the process continues. The first and most difficult part is finding a snapshot of time that can be used as an interesting and different story to make you stand out as a candidate. 

In my Junior year AP Language and Composition class, our third-trimester final was to write the CommonApp Essay. My teacher explained all the incorrect things to do, which at that point wasn’t helpful because I had no idea what I wanted to write about. I felt that writing about a sport or volunteering was cliche, but didn’t have much about me that stood out compared to other students my age.

I’ve played chess pretty consistently for the past 2-3 years. One time when I was playing, I thought, what if I write my essay about Chess? It’s a game that requires a lot of foresight as well as proactive and reactive thinking. 

Next came the other hard part, trying to create a hook that sets the stage for your story and is also simple enough to connect to a conclusion. This was the hardest part for me. I wanted it to be different from everyone else. I tried way too hard to make it perfect and it caused me to get discouraged. I asked my teacher and she said simple is the best start. Once you finish the essay, you can go back and modify it. 

Once I finished the introductory paragraph, the story flowed. I was able to connect learning Chess to real life to conclude the essay.” -Graham Unsworth

I’ve always been into games and puzzles, so when my dad came up holding a yellow box I had seen but never touched before, I was intrigued.

“Ever played chess?” he asked.

“No,” was my response. I had never heard of chess before but was willing to try anything.

“Here, I’ll teach you,” he said as he took out the board and pieces and began to set up the game. 

He explained the pieces’ functions, their values, and some of the basic rules. He told me chess was a game all about using intuition and thinking ahead. We started to play.

I was confused right away. I had no idea what moves were good or bad. I figured, since the back row pieces were the strongest, I should get them in play early. That was not the right idea. My dad effortlessly forced my prominent pieces into spots where they were trapped, and within 15 moves, I was losing badly. In a last-ditch effort to stall the game, I checked his king before my imminent downfall, as his next move was checkmate.

But I wanted to play again. I wanted to try a different strategy where I pushed the pawns first. I was still unsure, but since moving the pieces in the back left my king alone, I assumed developing pawns could lead to a more structured attack.

The third game’s result was just as poor, even though I lasted a bit longer and even forced him into a situation where he had to lose a rook for one of my knights. That slight improvement made me want to play again, to continue learning and developing. We kept playing. I lost again and again until finally, in a dreadful performance where I lost my queen in the first seven moves, I had lost six straight.

I didn’t care because every game lasted longer, and I picked up the patterns he used to attack. I tried to manipulate my pieces to block moves I thought he was likely to play. While he was repeatedly getting the better of me, my strategy was working more often. 

After losing again, my dad gave me a useful tip. “Be patient. Look at multiple possible moves and the effect they have on the game. Moving quickly will only lead to missing the best moves for both of us. Chess is more about countering than attacking.” 

I wanted to impress him, so I took his advice and pondered my moves. It didn’t seem to help as I continued to lose, but this lesson stuck with me as I realized it didn’t just apply to chess but to life also. 

Countless times, I have thought back to this moment. Over time, I began to realize chess was a fitting metaphor for life. Getting off to a good start is essential, just as every morning is crucial to get out of bed with a positive attitude about the day ahead. The pieces with less numerical value can be just as powerful as the queen, similar to how a small gesture at the right moment can have a considerable impact on someone else.

Today, 10 years later, I still play chess and use this memory to help me slow down and calculate every move I want to make. What I’ve learned most from chess is that every small decision matters. Every action can change the course of your day, week, or month for the better or worse. Just like in chess, thinking before you act is a skill that is crucial in all facets of life.

Your donation will support the student journalists of Skyline High School. Your contribution will allow us to purchase equipment and cover our annual website hosting costs.

Graham Unsworth is a Senior at Skyline who is writing for the Sports section of the Skyline Post.

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• Apr 1, 2021

Interesting College Essay Topics: Video Games & Esports Part 1

Updated: Jul 12, 2023

I'm a nerd, let's get that out of the way. I grew up immersed sci-fi, fantasy, movies, television shows, anime, video games, board games, tabletop games, and even read certain textbooks for fun (still do, looking at you A Modern History of Japan: From Tokugawa Times to The Present ). My childhood pre-dated critically and commercially acclaimed comic book movies, the ability to make a living by streaming video games online, and the widespread adoption of video games for everyday audiences (think mobile phone games, or the Nintendo Wii in the mid-2000s). To put it simply, it's a lot easier to openly embrace nerdy culture now than it was during my childhood.

The social stigma and ostracization of being a "nerd" led me to hide many of my hobbies and interests from friends and family for most of my life. Sadly, I still hear echoes of these feelings in students I work with today. It's not uncommon to hear a student say, "It's easier to just say nothing than try to explain my interests, hobbies, or passions." This breaks my heart, and for this reason I've become more open about my nerdy side and encourage students to do the same.

So what does all this have to do with the college search and application process? As an admission officer and a college counselor, I've read too many essays and applications focusing on students telling me what they think I want to hear. What they don't realize is that the thing I want to read about is an authentic, introspective, and self-aware portrait of who they are as a person. Families tend to reinforce this censorship of a students personality, often both knowingly and unknowingly. We all see the stories of the 4.0 GPA, 1550 SAT, honor society student and that's what has become the standard of success. What most families don't see, but I have, is the student with an average GPA and test score that can successfully articulate why they actually participate in extracurriculars; explain their values; describe what problems they want to solve in the world; and write a unique essay that reflects who they are as a person, not just what they've accomplished. I've read thousands of essays by this point in my relatively young career, and the handful that have stuck with me had nothing to do with the students' grades, test scores, or accomplishments.

So, over the next few blog posts, I want to write about a topic that seems to grow more common each year I work with students and families: video games. It's a tale as old as the ~1980s: a parent is concerned because their student is spending too much time playing video games and not engaging with the world. I'll be the first to concede that not all students who play video games should be writing a college essay about them, and sometimes video games are just a temporary escape from the stress of life (same as movies, television, books, and any number of other hobbies). However, I'm going to posit the idea that there are a lot of students out there who have a true passion for video games and, with a little introspection, can turn that passion into a powerful asset for their college application.

During this multi-part college essay blog series, I'm going to review a few different ways to tackle the topics of video games:

The Personal Impact of Video Games

Artistic, Emotional, or Developmental Impact of a Single Player Game ( You Are Here )

Impact of a Competitive Multiplayer Game

Impact of a Social or Cooperative Multiplayer Game

The Impact of Video Games on a Student's Professional or Academic Path

Video Games as a Catalyst for Pursuing a STEM Education

Video Games as an Interdisciplinary Collaborative

As a reader, I want you to keep in mind two more universally understood concepts into which we can distill these essays:

An introspective look into how a form of culture has shaped a student's ideas, beliefs, values, and personality.

An introspective look into how a student began a journey to help shape others through the act of creation or innovation.

Yes you, the person reading this blog!

I want you to stop everything that you are doing (including reading this blog) and sit silently thinking about something for at least 30 seconds:

I want you to think about a piece of culture that helped make you who you are today. This can be a piece of music, a movie, a book, a video game, a family tradition, or even a story passed down generation to generation.

Let's go.

Ok, now that we've all had our small serving of guided mediation for the day, let's continue forward. I will start by sharing what first came to my mind:

The year is 1999, I'm wandering up and down the stacks at my local Movie Gallery. I'm still young, only seven, but trips to Movie Gallery have become significant to me because they mean either a new video game in which I can escape reality OR a new movie that will create a short, but much-needed, moment of "family time" in the household. As I lurk through the copious VHS tapes and video game cartridges, a holographic shine catches my young eye and I am introduced to an unknown movie called Princess Mononoke. On the cover, a young man clashes holographic pearly swords with an unknown enemy and in bold letters at the top it reads:

One of Roger Ebert's Top 10!

"The Star Wars of Animated Features"

-New York Post

Now that's a lot for a seven-year-old. As much as I'd like to claim I was some young cinephile and the prospect of an animated film on "Roger Ebert's Top 10" motivated my selection, that would be a lie. The selection process was much simpler: I like Star Wars, the blades on the front of the tape shined like light sabers, the cover mentioned Star Wars and animated films, thus I thought I had discovered a Star Wars animated movie. I had no idea that this movie would become my favorite film of all time and a defining cornerstone of the person I would grow to be.

Now I don't want to give away much of the movie, as I believe every person should at least give it a chance (Disney has bought the rights for physical distribution and HBO Max has it available for streaming). The film focuses on a young prince from a small village of a disenfranchised ethnic minority. He is magically cursed defending his village from a monster and must be excommunicated and travel westward to find peace between an expanding industrious humanity and a spiritually rich forest full of ancient animals (the most literal man vs. nature theme one can think of). It is a film that deals with coming of age themes, confronting stereotypes, the relationship of humanity and nature, the idea of early religion, themes of racism, sexism, disenfranchisement, environmental issues, the all-consuming power of greed, discovering compromises between opposing ideologies, determination, grit, bravery, and sacrifice. Good and evil are not so clear-cut, rather they are ambiguous and exist on a spectrum with a tremendous amount of overlap (much like life). As a child being raised by a single mother, perhaps one of the most important aspects of the film was the multitude of strong, smart, and capable female characters which defied the "damsel in distress" archetype seen in most children movies. Growing up, this film became an integral piece in forming my sense of ethics, morality, values, and who I wanted to be in the world.

I present this exercise because I could easily write a book about the impact this movie has had in my life. More often than not, proper guidance, support, and an attentive ear can shepherd students to discover or expand upon their own piece of cultural media that has helped shape them in some way.

If any of this sounds remotely interesting, look into the rest of Hayao Miyazaki and Studio Ghibli's filmography [aside from Princess Mononoke , I'd also highly recommend the 2003 Academy Award Winning Best Animated Feature Spirited Away ). Many critics hail Miyazaki as the "Walt Disney of Japan," but I think this is underselling his works (not to mention the problematic nature of forcing a comparison of an Eastern animator to a Western animator to give him legitimacy to international audiences....).

Artistic, Emotional, or Developmental Impact of a Single Player Game

The story begins during a global pandemic. A single father and daughter are attempting to escape Austin, TX as society begins to collapse into chaos. The plan fails, the father is injured, and the daughter is killed. Fast forward 20 years: the father is weathered, downtrodden, and hides his deep-seated emotional trauma and guilt behind a gruff persona who uses survival as a justification for his extreme, violent, and criminal actions. Once a construction worker, he now works as a smuggler bypassing government quarantine measures to transport goods for payment. His life is devoid of joy, filled with savagery, and ultimately without any hope for a brighter future. This all changes when he is tasked with smuggling a 14-year old girl out of Boston to a research facility in Colorado, because her immune system might hold the secret for a vaccine. So begins an extended journey across the United States, where the father must confront his repressed guilt for his daughter's death, come to terms with his history of violence, and restore his faith in the possibility of a brighter future.

No, I'm not describing the newest Oscar-nominated drama or popular indie film from SXSW. This isn't the description of the hottest new post-apocalyptic young adult novel sweeping the nation. This is a rudimentary description of The Last of Us (2013), arguably one of the most critically and commercially acclaimed single-player video games of the past decade, developed by the gaming studio Naughty Dog and published by Sony Computer Entertainment on their popular PlayStation videogame consoles. The game is emotionally powerful, performances are sublime (both voice acting and motion capture), Guastavo Santaolalla (Brokeback Mountain, Babel, Making a Murderer, Jane the Virgin) composes a harrowing and heartfelt soundtrack, and the writing is top-notch from beginning to end. In fact, HBO is currently developing a The Last of Us television series written by Neil Druckman (writer/director of the video game) and Craig Mazin (HBO's Chernobyl) starring Pedro Pascal (Game of Thrones, Narcos, The Mandalorian) and Bella Ramsey (Game of Thrones, Hilda). When I think of a game that can create a personal impact on a person through storytelling, it's hard to think of a better example than The Last of Us.

( UPDATE 2023 : For those interested, HBO has premiered The Last of Us (2023) beginning with the first episode on January 15, 2023. The premiere of the show received a staggering 4.7 million viewers and within two days of release reached nearly 10 million viewers. The show is also looking to be critical success with a Rotten Tomatoes score of 99%, 9.4/10 on IMDb, and a 95% positive ration among Google users. Needless to say, as a fan of television and video games I'm very pleased to see such an amazing story be brought to life for a larger audience. I've added an additional photo below to showcase Pedro Pascal and Bella Ramsey as their respective roles in the show compared with their characters in the image below. )

When writing about the artistic, emotional, or developmental impact of a video game, the essay is going to focus on bridging the experience of a video game with its personal impact on a student. In this scenario, it is important to remember that the video game is not the star of this essay. Instead, a student needs to dig deep and find a meaningful connection with the video game and how it has helped them grow and develop as a person. Even then, a student will need to go a step further and not only talk about how this development is connected to a video game, but how they have adopted, adapted, and integrated those thoughts, lessons, and beliefs into their everyday life . This is the time when a student will need to provide evidence of this personal impact through examples in their life: academics, extracurriculars, life lessons, meaningful hobbies, important relationships with friends/family, etc. Lastly, the student needs to be mindful of how their growth and experience will impact their future, especially when thinking about their participation on a college campus, and their academic, professional, and life goals.

By the end of this essay, the student has displayed their way of thinking, level of introspection, journey in forming their beliefs/values, and ultimately connected the video game to how they live their life and what they hope to accomplish. Here are some suggestions for outlining this type of essay:

What is the history of the student with the video game?

When did the student make this connection?

What was going on in the student's life at this time?

Why did this particular video game affect them on a personal level?

How has the video game impacted them on a personal level?

How has a student taken this impact and integrated it into their life, beliefs, value system, etc.?

Moving forward, how has and how will the student take agency of this impact and affect the world around them (e.g. their school, community, family, friends, clubs, organizations, etc.).

I hope that after reading this students feel a little more empowered to be vocal about their passions and families feel a little more comfortable with the prospect of their student writing about the personal impact a video game might have had on them. In part 2, we'll take a look at how a student can take their experience from competitive multiplayer games and turn them into an interesting essay topic.

Subscribe to our newsletter to stay up to date on this blog post series and receive free monthly newsletters about higher education and college admissions news and advice. As always, if you have questions or a topic you'd like to hear more about, please don't hesitate to reach out to us directly.

With all my support,

Sawyer Earwood

Independent College Counselor

Co-Founder of Virtual College Counselors

[email protected]

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The Game Of Life And How To Play It essay

In the 7th Chapter of the book, titled, ‘Love – the Strongest Magnetic Force’ (Shinn, page 20) I was fortunate enough to glean a very important lesson that must have been hidden from many because of the inherent materialism of man; I realized from this chapter that if the spending, acquisition, and the saving of money is guided by a well-placed love for it, then money will come flowing. To abjectly feel contempt for money is an attitude that keeps money away. (Shinn, page 21) This concept is grounded on the belief that for me to able to attract something, I have to be in harmony with it.

(Shinn, page 21) From this particular chapter I was also convinced that money is a manifestation of God, and that God, who is the infinite supply, is also the source of all material bounty. (Shinn, page 22) Therefore, if I seek money with the aim of using it for my needs, and not for excessive desires and luxuries; if I save money but avoid from holding on to it simply because I want to hoard it; and if I readily let go of it for my personal use or for the use of those who need it more than I do, the money will come flowing, based on the idea that with God as the eternal supply, I will never find myself wanting.

I will never find myself in dire insufficiency if I believe in this concept and live it accordingly. For me, this is a very important realization because I am often too associated with money, and the disassociation scares me considering how most people can become very insecure because of this disassociation. However, the affirmation that the ‘supply’ is eternal and that the ‘supply’ will continue to provide for as long as there is a need makes it all the more easy for me to disassociate myself from money in the secure thought that there is more to come.

LESSON 2: That giving out true love will earn me the person intended for me who may not necessarily be the one whom I am with now. This lesson is grounded on the idea that each human being is divine, and my recognition of this divinity in every human being will teach me to love genuinely. (Shinn, page 21) My recognition of this divinity of man will allow me accept everything about that person, and in effect, enable me to give out true love, which will in turn open myself up to accept true love for myself.

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So, what I have realized from this is that if for instance I am not happy with the person I am with at the moment, all I have to do is to recognize the divinity of that person and fate, directed by the Infinite Intelligence, will take its course and put me in the right place. (Shinn, page 23) This basically means that if I give out true love, I will also receive true love; if not from the person I am currently with, maybe from some other person who is intended to give me the kind of love that I give out.

From this concept, I was able to conclude that there is actually no point in dwelling in my misery if a person has caused me suffering or pain, because these negative emotions can attract negative emotions and keep me from being able to give out true love, resulting to the cosmic response which would be the elusion of true love from my negative, suffering, and pessimistic self.

This has allowed me to develop a more optimistic and more liberal view on my relationships because if I take this concept into consideration I would probably be happier with my relationships and not be easily affected by disappointments or frustrations that these relationships may bring along. LESSON 3: That if I open myself to the Infinite Intelligence, I will be able to perform well with my talents because I am allowing a higher genius to use my corporeal self as a channel.

Infinite Intelligence, being the source of everything, is also the source of talent, and I was particularly enlightened by the fact that if I were to do things on my own, simply trusting my own mortal capacities, I would not be able to do as much as I would be able to do if I trusted in Infinite Intelligence to do the job. If I open myself up to Infinite Intelligence, then I would not only be using my own human capacities, but would be drawing from my divine nature as well.

It is therefore logical that the best thing to do in such a situation would be to invoke the Spirit ‘to open the way for the manifestation of the Divine Design’. (Shinn, page 28) This is merely restating the already known belief that I should allow myself to become a channel for Infinite Intelligence for the Divine Design to be fulfilled through my talents; simply put, I should allow myself and my talents to be used by God for His Purpose.

With this in mind, supposedly, I would perform not only to the best of what is humanly possible, but also to the best of what is Divinely possible. With barely a handful of people aware of this concept, then this would give me an advantage and allow me to rise above the rest; however, this kind of wisdom should not be kept for myself, rather, it should also be shared with others so that others may contribute to the Universal Divine Design in the way that each has been individually destined to contribute.

Perhaps now, this would not turn out to be much of a lesson, but for me, this is a breakthrough because this is actually an effective way for me to improve, not only in individual growth, but in my performances as a student, a member of the community, and as a productive component of society. LESSON 4: That being a cheerful receiver is just as important as being a cheerful giver. Had I not read this book, I would still be stuck with the Christian belief that what is important in life is how much I can give.

After reading the passages about ‘receiving’ I realized that although I should not expect anything in return when I give, which is the quality of sincere generosity, I should also not refuse anything that is given to me for the plain reason that everything that is given is a gift from God and that people are merely used as channels for these gifts. (Shinn, page 30) From this I found out that refusing something that is freely given to me is just as bad as refusing what God gives to me as gifts, and if I go on refusing everything that is given to me, I might upset the cosmic balance and hence, receive less than compared to what I give out.

Although the guiding concept here is that, like talents, I should open myself up to the dual flows coming from the Ultimate Source, what is more important is the realization that in giving, I also attract givers to give to me what can be given and given freely. I realized from this particular lesson that generosity is not a one way street; that generosity is actually a chain of events set off by an initial sincere giving. If I refuse what is given to me, I don’t only refuse God’s gifts but also break the chain or contagion of generosity.

‘The Lord loveth a cheerful giver receiver, as well as a cheerful giver. ’ (Shinn, page 30) Although I am currently very generous, this realization has allowed me to logically explain why some people are generous and some people are not; perhaps, at some point, the chain of generosity was broken which resulted to the discontinuity of the generosity which is supposed to pervade every single human being to begin with.

Works Cited Shinn, Florence Scovel . The Game of Life and How to Play It. 3rd ed. Essex, United Kingdom: C. W. Daniel Company, n. d. 20-30.

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Finding a great college essay topic is one of the most stressful parts of the essay writing process. How is it possible to accurately represent your life and personality in one essay? How can you tell if a topic will do your story justice, or if it’ll end up hurting your application?

While a good essay topic varies from one person to another, there are some general guidelines you should follow when picking a topic. In this post, we’ll go over the commonalities of a good college essay topic, and we’ll share five original topics and sample essays to inspire your writing.

College essays are meant to provide admissions officers with a better idea of who you are beyond your quantitative achievements. It’s your chance to share your voice, personality, and story.

A good essay topic will do the following:

Answers the 4 core questions. These questions are:

• “Who Am I?”
• “Why Am I Here?”
• “What is Unique About Me?”
• “What Matters to Me?”

At its core, your essay should show who you are, how you got there, and where you’re going. 

Is deeply personal. The best essay topics allow you to be raw and vulnerable. You don’t need to bare your soul and tell your deepest secrets, but you should share your thoughts and emotions in your essay. A good essay should make the reader feel something—whether that’s your joy, embarrassment, panic, defeat, confidence, or determination.

Is original, or approaches a common topic in an original way. Admissions officers read a lot of essays about the same old topics. Some of those cliches include: a sports injury, person you admire, tragedy, or working hard in a challenging class. While it’s possible to write a good essay on a common topic, it’s much harder to do so, and you may lose the admissions officer’s attention early on. 

Try to find a topic that goes beyond traditional archetypes to make yourself truly stand out. You could also take a cliche topic but develop it in a different way. For example, the standard storyline of the sports injury essay is that you got hurt, were upset you couldn’t participate, but then worked hard and overcame that injury. Instead, you could write about how you got injured, and used that time off to develop a new interest, such as coding. 

The truth is that a “good” college essay topic varies by individual, as it really depends on your life experiences. That being said, there are some topics that should work well for most people, and they are:

1. A unique extracurricular activity or passion 

Writing about an extracurricular activity is not a unique essay topic, and it’s actually a common supplemental essay prompt. If you have an unconventional activity, however, the essay is the perfect opportunity to showcase and elaborate upon that interest. Less common activities are less familiar to admissions officers, so some extra context can be helpful in understanding how that activity worked, and how much it meant to you.

For example, here’s a sample essay about a student who played competitive bridge, and what the activity taught them:

The room was silent except for the thoughts racing through my head. I led a spade from my hand and my opponent paused for a second, then played a heart. The numbers ran through my mind as I tried to consider every combination, calculating my next move. Finally, I played the ace of spades from the dummy and the rest of my clubs, securing the contract and 620 points when my partner ruffed at trick five. Next board.

It was the final of the 2015 United States Bridge Federation Under-26 Women’s Championship. The winning team would be selected to represent the United States in the world championship and my team was still in the running.

Contract bridge is a strategic and stochastic card game. Players from around the world gather at local clubs, regional events, and, in this case, national tournaments.

Going into the tournament, my team was excited; all the hours we had put into the game, from the lengthy midnight Skype sessions spent discussing boards to the coffee shop meetings spent memorizing conventions together, were about to pay off.

Halfway through, our spirits were still high, as we were only down by fourteen international match points which, out of the final total of about four hundred points, was virtually nothing and it was very feasible to catch up. Our excitement was short-lived, however, as sixty boards later, we found that we had lost the match and would not be chosen as the national team.

Initially, we were devastated. We had come so close and it seemed as if all the hours we had devoted to training had been utterly wasted. Yet as our team spent some time together reflecting upon the results, we gradually realized that the true value that we had gained wasn’t only the prospect of winning the national title, but also the time we had spent together exploring our shared passion. I chatted with the winning team and even befriended a few of them who offered us encouragement and advice.

Throughout my bridge career, although I’ve gained a respectable amount of masterpoints and awards, I’ve realized that the real reward comes from the extraordinary people I have met. I don’t need to travel cross-country to learn; every time I sit down at a table whether it be during a simple club game, a regional tournament or a national event, I find I’m always learning. 

I nod at the pair that’s always yelling at each other. They teach me the importance of sportsmanship and forgiveness.

I greet the legally blind man who can defeat most of the seeing players. He reminds me not to make excuses.

I chat with the friendly, elderly couple who, at ages ninety and ninety-two, have just gotten married two weeks ago. They teach me that it’s never too late to start anything.

I talk to the boy who’s attending Harvard and the girl who forewent college to start her own company. They show me that there is more than one path to success.

I congratulate the little kid running to his dad, excited to have won his very first masterpoints. He reminds me of the thrill of every first time and to never stop trying new things.

Just as much as I have benefitted from these life lessons, I aspire to give back to my bridge community as much as it has given me. I aspire to teach people how to play this complicated yet equally as exciting game. I aspire to never stop improving myself, both at and away from the bridge table.

Bridge has given me my roots and dared me to dream. What started as merely a hobby has become a community, a passion, a part of my identity. I aspire to live selflessly and help others reach their goals. I seek to take risks, embrace all results, even failure, and live unfettered from my own doubt .

2. An activity or interest that contrasts heavily with your profile

The essays are also a great way to highlight different aspects of who you are, and also explain any aspects of your profile that might not “make sense.” For instance, if your extracurriculars are heavily STEM-focused, but you have one theatre-related activity you care a lot about, you might want to write an essay on theatre to add an extra dimension to your application. Admissions officers actually love when students have a “contrast profile,” or well-developed interests in two disparate fields. This is because they see a lot of well-rounded and specialized students, so students with contrast profiles offer something refreshingly unique.

Here’s a sample essay written by an athlete who is also an accomplished poet. The piece focuses upon the student’s contrasting identities, and how they eventually come to feel proud of both identities.

When I was younger, I was adamant that no two foods on my plate touch. As a result, I often used a second plate to prevent such an atrocity. In many ways, I learned to separate different things this way from my older brothers, Nate and Rob. Growing up, I idolized both of them. Nate was a performer, and I insisted on arriving early to his shows to secure front row seats, refusing to budge during intermission for fear of missing anything. Rob was a three-sport athlete, and I attended his games religiously, waving worn-out foam cougar paws and cheering until my voice was hoarse. My brothers were my role models. However, while each was talented, neither was interested in the other’s passion. To me, they represented two contrasting ideals of what I could become: artist or athlete. I believed I had to choose.

And for a long time, I chose athlete. I played soccer, basketball, and lacrosse and viewed myself exclusively as an athlete, believing the arts were not for me. I conveniently overlooked that since the age of five, I had been composing stories for my family for Christmas, gifts that were as much for me as them, as I loved writing. So when in tenth grade, I had the option of taking a creative writing class, I was faced with a question: could I be an athlete and a writer? After much debate, I enrolled in the class, feeling both apprehensive and excited. When I arrived on the first day of school, my teacher, Ms. Jenkins, asked us to write down our expectations for the class. After a few minutes, eraser shavings stubbornly sunbathing on my now-smudged paper, I finally wrote, “I do not expect to become a published writer from this class. I just want this to be a place where I can write freely.”

Although the purpose of the class never changed for me, on the third “submission day,” – our time to submit writing to upcoming contests and literary magazines – I faced a predicament. For the first two submission days, I had passed the time editing earlier pieces, eventually (pretty quickly) resorting to screen snake when hopelessness made the words look like hieroglyphics. I must not have been as subtle as I thought, as on the third of these days, Ms. Jenkins approached me. After shifting from excuse to excuse as to why I did not submit my writing, I finally recognized the real reason I had withheld my work: I was scared. I did not want to be different, and I did not want to challenge not only others’ perceptions of me, but also my own. I yielded to Ms. Jenkin’s pleas and sent one of my pieces to an upcoming contest.

By the time the letter came, I had already forgotten about the contest. When the flimsy white envelope arrived in the mail, I was shocked and ecstatic to learn that I had received 2nd place in a nationwide writing competition. The next morning, however, I discovered Ms. Jenkins would make an announcement to the whole school exposing me as a poet. I decided to own this identity and embrace my friends’ jokes and playful digs, and over time, they have learned to accept and respect this part of me. I have since seen more boys at my school identifying themselves as writers or artists.

I no longer see myself as an athlete and a poet independently, but rather I see these two aspects forming a single inseparable identity – me. Despite their apparent differences, these two disciplines are quite similar, as each requires creativity and devotion. I am still a poet when I am lacing up my cleats for soccer practice and still an athlete when I am building metaphors in the back of my mind – and I have realized ice cream and gummy bears taste pretty good together.

3. A seemingly insignificant moment that speaks to larger themes within your life 

Writing an essay on a seemingly mundane moment is unexpected, so that should grab the attention of the reader in almost a backwards way. You’ll make them wonder where the essay is going, and why you chose to write about that moment. From there, you can use that moment as an avenue to discuss important elements of your identity. 

In this sample essay, a student details her experience failing to make a fire from sticks, and how it leads her to reflect on how her former passion (or “fire”) for the outdoors is now reflected in her current interests. 

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

4. Using an everyday experience or object as a metaphor to explore your life and personality 

Using an everyday experience as a vehicle to explore your identity is also intriguing in an unexpected way. You’d be surprised at how many everyday routines and objects naturally lend themselves to a unique glance into your life. Some of those things might be: a familiar drive, your running shoes, a recipe from your grandmother, walking to your guitar lesson.

This topic also is a strong choice if you have a descriptive, artful writing style. It allows you to get creative with the transitions from the everyday experience to larger reflections on your life.

Here’s an example of a student who chose to write about showers, all while showcasing their personality and unique aspects of their life. 

Scalding hot water cascades over me, crashing to the ground in a familiar, soothing rhythm. Steam rises to the ceiling as dried sweat and soap suds swirl down the drain. The water hisses as it hits my skin, far above the safe temperature for a shower. The pressure is perfect on my tired muscles, easing the aches and bruises from a rough bout of sparring and the tension from a long, stressful day. The noise from my overactive mind dies away, fading into music, lyrics floating through my head. Black streaks stripe the inside of my left arm, remnants of the penned reminders of homework, money owed and forms due. 

It lacks the same dynamism and controlled intensity of sparring on the mat at taekwondo or the warm tenderness of a tight hug from my father, but it’s still a cocoon of safety as the water washes away the day’s burdens. As long as the hot water is running, the rest of the world ceases to exist, shrinking to me, myself and I. The shower curtain closes me off from the hectic world spinning around me. 

Much like the baths of Blanche DuBois, my hot showers are a means of cleansing and purifying (though I’m mostly just ridding myself of the germs from children at work sneezing on me). In the midst of a hot shower, there is no impending exam to study for, no newspaper deadline to meet, no paycheck to deposit. It is simply complete and utter peace, a safe haven. The steam clears my mind even as it clouds my mirror. 

Creativity thrives in the tub, breathing life into tales of dragons and warrior princesses that evolve only in my head, never making their way to paper but appeasing the childlike dreamer and wannabe author in me all the same. That one calculus problem that has seemed unsolvable since second period clicks into place as I realize the obvious solution. The perfect concluding sentence to my literary analysis essay writes itself (causing me to abruptly end my shower in a mad dash to the computer before I forget it entirely).  

Ever since I was old enough to start taking showers unaided, I began hogging all the hot water in the house, a source of great frustration to my parents. Many of my early showers were rudely cut short by an unholy banging on the bathroom door and an order to “stop wasting water and come eat dinner before it gets cold.” After a decade of trudging up the stairs every evening to put an end to my water-wasting, my parents finally gave in, leaving me to my (expensive) showers. I imagine someday, when paying the water bill is in my hands, my showers will be shorter, but today is not that day (nor, hopefully, will the next four years be that day). 

Showers are better than any ibuprofen, the perfect panacea for life’s daily ailments. Headaches magically disappear as long as the water runs, though they typically return in full force afterward. The runny nose and itchy eyes courtesy of summertime allergies recede. Showers alleviate even the stomachache from a guacamole-induced lack of self-control. 

Honestly though, the best part about a hot shower is neither its medicinal abilities nor its blissful temporary isolation or even the heavenly warmth seeped deep into my bones. The best part is that these little moments of pure, uninhibited contentedness are a daily occurrence. No matter how stressful the day, showers ensure I always have something to look forward to. They are small moments, true, but important nonetheless, because it is the little things in life that matter; the big moments are too rare, too fleeting to make anyone truly happy. Wherever I am in the world, whatever fate chooses to throw at me, I know I can always find my peace at the end of the day behind the shower curtain. 

5. An in the moment narrative that tells the story of a important moment in your life

In the moment narrative is a powerful essay format, as your reader experiences the events, your thoughts, and your emotions with you . Students assume that your chosen moment needs to be extremely dramatic or life-altering, but the truth is that you can use this method to write about all kinds of events, from the everyday to the unexpected to the monumental. It doesn’t matter, as long as that moment was important to your development.

For example, this student wrote about a Model UN conference where they were asked to switch stances last minute. This might not seem like a huge moment, but this experience was meaningful to them because it showed them the importance of adaptability. 

The morning of the Model United Nation conference, I walked into Committee feeling confident about my research. We were simulating the Nuremberg Trials – a series of post-World War II proceedings for war crimes – and my portfolio was of the Soviet Judge Major General Iona Nikitchenko. Until that day, the infamous Nazi regime had only been a chapter in my history textbook; however, the conference’s unveiling of each defendant’s crimes brought those horrors to life. The previous night, I had organized my research, proofread my position paper and gone over Judge Nikitchenko’s pertinent statements. I aimed to find the perfect balance between his stance and my own.

As I walked into committee anticipating a battle of wits, my director abruptly called out to me. “I’m afraid we’ve received a late confirmation from another delegate who will be representing Judge Nikitchenko. You, on the other hand, are now the defense attorney, Otto Stahmer.” Everyone around me buzzed around the room in excitement, coordinating with their allies and developing strategies against their enemies, oblivious to the bomb that had just dropped on me. I felt frozen in my tracks, and it seemed that only rage against the careless delegate who had confirmed her presence so late could pull me out of my trance. After having spent a month painstakingly crafting my verdicts and gathering evidence against the Nazis, I now needed to reverse my stance only three hours before the first session.

Gradually, anger gave way to utter panic. My research was fundamental to my performance, and without it, I knew I could add little to the Trials. But confident in my ability, my director optimistically recommended constructing an impromptu defense. Nervously, I began my research anew. Despite feeling hopeless, as I read through the prosecution’s arguments, I uncovered substantial loopholes. I noticed a lack of conclusive evidence against the defendants and certain inconsistencies in testimonies. My discovery energized me, inspiring me to revisit the historical overview in my conference “Background Guide” and to search the web for other relevant articles. Some Nazi prisoners had been treated as “guilty” before their court dates. While I had brushed this information under the carpet while developing my position as a judge, it now became the focus of my defense. I began scratching out a new argument, centered on the premise that the allied countries had violated the fundamental rule that, a defendant was “not guilty” until proven otherwise.

At the end of the three hours, I felt better prepared. The first session began, and with bravado, I raised my placard to speak. Microphone in hand, I turned to face my audience. “Greetings delegates. I, Otto Stahmer would like to…….” I suddenly blanked. Utter dread permeated my body as I tried to recall my thoughts in vain. “Defence Attorney, Stahmer we’ll come back to you,” my Committee Director broke the silence as I tottered back to my seat, flushed with embarrassment. Despite my shame, I was undeterred. I needed to vindicate my director’s faith in me. I pulled out my notes, refocused, and began outlining my arguments in a more clear and direct manner. Thereafter, I spoke articulately, confidently putting forth my points. I was overjoyed when Secretariat members congratulated me on my fine performance.

Going into the conference, I believed that preparation was the key to success. I wouldn’t say I disagree with that statement now, but I believe adaptability is equally important. My ability to problem-solve in the face of an unforeseen challenge proved advantageous in the art of diplomacy. Not only did this experience transform me into a confident and eloquent delegate at that conference, but it also helped me become a more flexible and creative thinker in a variety of other capacities. Now that I know I can adapt under pressure, I look forward to engaging in activities that will push me to be even quicker on my feet.

At selective schools, your essays account for around 25% of your admissions decision. That’s more than grades (20%) and test scores (15%), and almost as much as extracurriculars (30%). Why is this? Most students applying to top schools will have stellar academics and extracurriculars. Your essays are your chance to stand out and humanize your application.

That’s why it’s vital that your essays are engaging, and present you as someone who would enrich the campus community.

Before submitting your application, you should have someone else review your essays. It’s even better if that person doesn’t know you personally, as they can best tell whether your personality shines through your essay. 

That’s why we created our Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. We highly recommend giving this tool a try!

Final Thoughts

We hope this gives you a better idea of what good essay topic looks like, and that you’re feeling inspired to write your own essay—maybe one of these topics can even apply to your own life!

For more guidance on your essays, see these posts:

How to Write the Common App Essay

What If I Don ’t Have Anything Interesting to Write About in My College Essay?

Wh ere to Begin? 6 Personal Essay Brainstorming Exercises

Want help with your college essays to improve your admissions chances? Sign up for your free CollegeVine account and get access to our essay guides and courses. You can also get your essay peer-reviewed and improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

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What Does It Feel Like To Be Jewish on Campus Right Now?

Nine jewish students, representing a wide range of perspectives, tell us how they've experienced this moment of campus protests surrounding the israel-hamas war..

For the students witnessing the protests, participating in the protests (or counter-protests), talking about the protests with friends and in classes, feeling fearful of the protests, feeling empowered by the protests, or simply trying to study for finals while all this happens around them, this moment is not just something to study in text books or pontificate about over coffee and the newspaper. This is their lived realities.

As a publication and online community that aims to highlight and amplify a diversity of young Jewish voices, we wanted to hear directly from people who were living on college campuses during this time.

And so, last week we put out a call on our platform asking students: What does it feel like to be Jewish on campus right now? 

And wow, did we get responses! We anticipated receiving a few essays, and thought we might publish a handful of them. Instead, we received nearly 100 essays, and here, we are sharing nine of those with you. These essays are all written by Jewish students attending colleges in the United States. They represent a really wide range of perspectives and experiences. And we hope you’ll read all of them. Our goal is not to speak for every single student, but rather to allow each student featured here to speak for themselves. Perhaps you’ll see something that resonates for you; perhaps you’ll see something that makes you mad. Ideally, you’ll find something that sparks a moment of self-recognition or understanding where you didn’t expect it.

Read on to hear from nine college students about what it feels like to be Jewish on campus in 2024.

“I am looking for a community, but I do not fit anywhere.” — Molly Greenwold from Newton, MA; Barnard College, Class of 2026

“I have fought for both Zionist and anti-Zionist students to feel safe.” — Irene Raich from Fayetteville, Arkansas; Yale University, Class of 2027

“Living in fear on campus has become a daily battle.” — Kalie Fishman from Farmington Hills, MI; University of Michigan School of Social Work, Class of 2024

“I was arrested on the first night of Passover at the encampment on my college campus.” — Kira Carleton from Brooklyn, NY; NYU Steinhardt School of Culture, Education, and Human Development, Master’s Student, Class of 2025

“Would people treat me differently if they knew I am Israeli?” — Yasmine Abouzaglo from Dallas, TX; Columbia University, Class of 2027

“I am not a Jew with trembling knees.” — Sophie Friedberg from Los Angeles, CA; University of Wisconsin-Madison, Class of 2024

“For the first time since October 7, I don’t feel so powerless.” — Adrien Braun; Trinity College, Class of 2026

“Maybe if I weren’t grieving the massacre of my community, I would feel differently.” — Devorah Klein from Kansas City, MO; University of Kansas, Class of 2024

“Most of the time, I stay silent.” — Gabriela Marquis from Spokane, WA; Gonzaga University, Class of 2024

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May 14, 2024

Your Life Is Ruled by Games You Don’t Even Know You’re Playing

Our overreliance on the simplicity of game logic explains why capitalism got out of control

By Carmen Maria Machado

Olena Ruban/Getty Images

Playing with Reality: How Games Have Shaped Our World by Kelly Clancy. Riverhead, 2024 ($30)

When was the last time you played a game? Maybe you beat a friend at chess, or played Sushi Go! with your kids, or recently lost hours of your life to Baldur’s Gate 3 (raises hand). But even if you can’t remember, the fact is, you probably played a game today. Have you felt the languorous tug of swiping or scrolling through videos or dating profiles? Counted your steps? Been subject to the forces of the economy or the government? Applied for a loan? Used the Internet? Worked for a company? Experienced desire, motivation, pleasure?

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Games have developed a contemporary, ahistorical reputation for triviality—a way people lose themselves instead of understanding themselves. But as Kelly Clancy explains in Playing with Reality , games are not only not unserious but also an essential tool for growth, learning and survival, as well as a way of understanding our own bodies, history and future. She argues that games—with their mix of play, choices, tactics, goals and rewards—touch on every single natural and artificial aspect of our lives. They can reflect biological impulses, evolutionary strategies, social structures, military operations, and the way we have historically conceptualized morality, fairness and God. The game is not something you can choose to play or not; it’s a shadow in the Plato’s cave you didn’t even realize you were living in.

Clancy weaves a clear-eyed account of games from ancient history—they predate written language, she tells us—to the modern world of computers and the Internet. She explores the role of dopamine in learning, the essential value of randomness and chance, and the addictive qualities of maybes and surprises. She covers multiple tangles between humans and computers on the battlefields of Go, checkers and chess; unpacks the long and disturbing history of war games; and dispatches the thorny question of artificial intelligence—especially large language models such as ChatGPT—with ruthless efficiency. (It is dangerous, she concludes, to “[treat] language like a game without meaning.”)

Clancy carefully puts these historical moments and developments in context. This approach is particularly pleasurable when it takes the form of deep dives into specific games. There’s Kriegsspiel, a war game beloved by 19th- and 20th-­century leaders (including Adolf Hitler), whose influence lives on in Dungeons and Dragons, Settlers of Catan and Risk; SimCity, whose sandbox structure became the darling of radical libertarians seeking to strip resources from the government; and Snakes and Ladders, which is based on a 13th-century Indian game, Moksha Patam, meant to elucidate ideas about karma and fate.

But no sooner does Clancy establish games’ ubiquitous power than she demon­­strates how overreliance on the simplicity of game logic has destroyed empires, expedited war crimes, undermined education, aided unfettered capitalism and—at least once—brought the world to the brink of nuclear disaster. Capitalism is perhaps the best example of this simplifying logic gone awry. Technology and gamified work promised to free us from labor but instead generate more, with rewards not for workers but for shareholders. And yet this unrestrained, amoral growth possesses a kind of logic familiar to anyone who has played Monopoly—even if that same person, in their real life, struggles to support themselves.

Our knack for adapting to a game’s rules—even when they deviate significantly from our values or experience—illustrates one of games’ most simultaneously charming and sinister qualities: the ease with which we can use games as a proxy to divorce ourselves from the things they stand in for. Clancy is, rightfully, pessimistic about this faculty and how what­ever strengths it lends us seem to be outweighed by its potential for disaster. “Game theorists sought universal solutions in abstract mathematics, and the world is worse off for our leaders’ faith in their technocratic solutions,” she argues. And those who seek to win at any cost—so-called maximizers who view life as a zero-sum game—are already among us.

This discussion may make the reader feel slightly cornered. Is there any way to escape the most damaging philosophies that have emerged from games’ omnipresence? Is anything in our lives untouched by the push and pull of these models?

Clancy is not trying to fix these problems. Hers is a descriptive, not prescriptive, project. But it’s one that contextualizes and clarifies the upshot of losing perspective. “Games have always been about discovering who we are,” she writes. At the end of the book, the question remains: In the many kinds of games we join in, what kind of player will you choose to be?

Indiana-Atlanta highlights: How Caitlin Clark, Fever performed in second preseason game

Four Indiana Fever players scored in double figures, led by 21 from NaLyssa Smith, and the Fever erased as much as a 15-point deficit as it topped the Atlanta Dream , 83-80 , in its second preseason game.

The Fever will open the regular season at the Connecticut Sun on May 14 . Indiana’s home opener — also known as the home regular debut of No. 1 pick Caitlin Clark — takes place May 16 vs. the New York Liberty .

Clark had a rough shooting night Thursday against Atlanta, but still finished with an impressive stat line: 12 points, eight rebounds and six assists. She went just 4-of-12 from the field, including 2-of-9 from 3, but distributed the ball well (she’ll beat herself up about her six turnovers). She led the Fever in rebounding, an impressive feat for the 6-foot guard.

Six Atlanta players scored eight points or more, with Rhyne Howard leading the Dream with 13 points. Atlanta shot lights out in the first quarter, almost 70%, but cooled considerably after that, and in its final possession, could not get a shot off, turning the ball over with 1.9 seconds to play.

What Caitlin Clark said after the game

As usual, Caitlin Clark was her own worst critic.

After Indiana held on for an 83-80 preseason win over the Atlanta Dream, Clark told the media, “I don’t think I was that effective (scoring), honestly.”

The top pick in the 2024 WNBA draft said it with a wry smile, a reference to her 2-of-9 shooting performance from the perimeter.

Clark did quite a lot besides scoring though, racking up eight rebounds and dishing six assists. (She also finished with 12 points, so it’s not like she went scoreless or anywhere close to it.) She said getting a clean look can be tough in the pros, because opponents pick her up defensively full court and are extremely physical with her, especially as she’s coming off screens. It’s an adjustment, and one she’s learning how to do better every day.

But before Clark could critique herself anymore, teammate NaLyssa Smith jumped in.

“I’m gonna piggyback and say, she was effective, she was pushing us, getting us open shots, passing ahead,” Smith said. “Everyone’s gonna focus on the scoring, but she does a lot for us: She gets the ball where it needs to be. If you run the floor you better look up, because the ball is coming.”

Fever vs. Dream highlights

Caitlin Clark shot 2-for-9 from 3-point range against the Dream.

The Fever rallied from 15 down in the second quarter to prevail and improve to 1-1 on the preseason.

Caitlin Clark reunited with college teammate Gabbie Marshall after game

Former Iowa Hawkeyes teammates Clark and Marshall had a moment on the court following the Indiana Fever's preseason win.

Third quarter: Indiana Fever 70, Atlanta Dream 66

One thing about Caitlin Clark: she stuffs stat sheets both loudly and quietly.

It’s easy to be enamored with Clark’s game when she’s draining 3s and finishing touch drives in the paint. But even on a rough shooting night — she’s 4-of-12 from the field and just 2-of-9 from 3 — Clark is doing so much. Through three quarters she has 12 points, eight rebounds and six assists. Will she get to a triple double? It’s absolutely within reach.

As Clark does a little bit of everything, Atlanta is struggling. After shooting 68.8% the first quarter, the Dream have connected on just 26% (11-of-42) of its attempts as Indiana has surged ahead, 70-66.

Watch: Caitlin Clark drains a deep 3

Caitlin Clark was famous for her 3-point attempts from well beyond the arc during her time at Iowa, and it appears she's bringing the long-range shot to the WNBA.

Halftime: Atlanta Dream 49, Indiana Fever 48

I’m sure that first 3-pointer of the night for Caitlin Clark felt good.

After starting 0-of-4 from deep, Clark finally connected on her first 3 with 3:41 to play in the first half, hitting a step back, 26-footer to pull the Fever within eight.

At halftime, Atlanta is clinging to a 49-48 lead.

Indiana's NaLyssa Smith took over for a stretch, and already has 14 points and four rebounds — a huge reason why the Fever were able to able to erase a 15-point deficit and pull within one. (Though getting within one in particular was the work of 2024 second-round draft pick Celeste Taylor, who grabbed an offensive board and scored a putback as the buzzer sounded.)

Clark has eight points, four assists and four rebounds in 13 minutes of play so far.

For Atlanta, Allisha Gray and Rhyne Howard both have 10, and Ariel Powers has eight off the bench. Indiana is outscoring Atlanta 24-16 in the paint.

First quarter: Atlanta Dream 30, Indiana Fever 24

It was a little bit of a rough start for Caitlin Clark, who went 0-for-4 from 3 in the first quarter, with Atlanta leading 30-24. Clark has scored twice though, both on driving layups, including an and-1. She’s already got five points and four assists.

One thing that’ll be interesting to follow with Clark this year: At Iowa, even on nights when she didn’t shoot well (they were rare) she had the green light every possession. Will she have that same freedom if she’s not shooting well with Indiana, or will the Fever lean on her to distribute the ball even more? Will she make that adjustment herself? Stay tuned to find out.

Cheyenne Parker-Tyler looks great for Atlanta, by the way, scoring 11 points and hitting all three of her shots so far.

Watch: Catlin Clark's first bucket on home court

Caitlin Clark's first basket for the Indiana Fever at the Gainbridge Fieldhouse in Indianapolis came on a driving layup three minutes into the first quarter off an assist from center Aliyah Boston.

But the Atlanta Dream jumped out to an early 18-8 lead.

Indiana Fever vs. Atlanta Dream starting lineup

Indiana’s starting five is going to look a little different for preseason game No. 2. Erica Wheeler, who started for Indiana in the Fever's first preseason game, is sick and will not play, though she's on the bench in street clothes.

The Fever’s starters are as follows for Thursday’s game vs. Atlanta:

• Caitlin Clark, point guard
• Kristy Wallace, shooting guard
• Katie Lou Samuelson, small forward
• NaLyssa Smith, power forward
• Aliyah Boston, center

Here are the Atlanta Dream starters for tonight's game:

• Haley Jones, point guard
• Rhyne Howard, shooting guard
• Allisha Gray, small forward
• Cheyenne Parker-Tyus, power forward
• Tina Charles, center

How to stream Indiana Fever vs. Atlanta Dream

The Indiana Fever game against the Atlanta Dream is available on the  WNBA’s League Pass . Fans can get League Pass by downloading the WNBA app. Preseason games are free. The game also is available for streaming on Fubo  here  (regional restrictions apply).

When does Indiana Fever open the WNBA regular season? 

The Indiana Fever will open the regular season on the road on Tuesday, May 14 against the Connecticut Sun. The Fever's home opener is Thursday, May 16 against the New York Liberty. 

How 10 seconds with Maya Moore changed Caitlin Clark’s life  

Caitlin Clark likes to think of it as 10 seconds that changed her life.   

Maybe that’s an exaggeration. Clark, who went  No. 1 in the WNBA draft , probably would have grown up to be a transcendent basketball star even if Maya Moore, the 2014 WNBA MVP, hadn’t hugged her 10 years ago after a Minnesota Lynx game.   

Clark probably would have still  rewritten the record books , earned an eight-figure  shoe deal  and drawn  millions of new fans  to the women’s game.   

But that 10 seconds made an impression. Read Lindsay Schnell’s story here .  

Best WNBA regular-season games to watch in 2024

If the 2023-24 women's college basketball season is any indication, the WNBA is primed for its most exciting and most watched season yet.

College stars like Caitlin Clark, Angel Reese, Kamilla Cardoso and Cameron Brink brought a whole new audience to the women's game, captivating the nation with their skills and personality. The rookies enter a league that already features the best pro basketball players in the world – players who are hungry to show off their talents to new viewers who might be checking out the WNBA for the first time.

There are some regular-season games you will want to circle on your calendar and carve out time to watch on TV or attend. Click here for 10 regular-season games to watch  in the 2024 WNBA season.

10 bold predictions for WNBA season 

The 28th WNBA season tips off next week, May 14, so it’s time to start thinking about what’s in store for women’s professional basketball the next few months.   

There’s  never been more excitement  around the women’s game. With a  star-studded draft class , a team going for its third consecutive championship and a Summer Olympics that will help drum up interest in women’s basketball, the WNBA is headed into its  most-anticipated season  since the league debuted almost three decades ago.   

So what can we expect this summer? For starters, Caitlin Clark will lead the WNBA in assists and make the Olympic team. Read Lindsay Schnell’s bold predictions here .

WNBA to implement charter travel for all teams this season 

The  WNBA  will begin charter travel for all 12 of its teams this season “as soon as we logistically can get planes in places,” Commissioner Cathy Engelbert told sports editors at a league meeting Tuesday afternoon, confirming a report on X by USA TODAY sports columnist Christine Brennan. 

This very significant change in the way the world’s best women’s basketball players will travel to games will end the league’s long-standing policy of mandated regular-season commercial flights for its players.  

Read more here.  

Chicago Sky rookie Kamilla Cardoso to miss several weeks with injury 

Kamilla Cardoso , the No. 3 pick in last month’s  WNBA draft , will miss at least 4 to 6 weeks with a shoulder injury. 

The  Chicago Sky  initially announced Cardoso would miss Tuesday night’s home exhibition against the New York Liberty. But a short time later, the team said the rookie center would be sidelined indefinitely and will be re-evaluated in 4 to 6 weeks. 

Read more from Nancy Armour here.  

Brittney Griner memoir a raw recounting of fear, hopelessness in Russia 

Midway through her book "Coming Home,"  Brittney Griner  is informed of fellow American  Trevor Reed’s release  from a Russian penal colony. It is April 2022, and Reed is finally going home after being wrongfully detained for nearly three years. The news both elevates Griner’s spirit and breaks her heart, bringing her to tears.  

"Only someone who has lived, prayed, cried and slept in a  Russian prison  can truly comprehend the daily indignities, the deep isolation that weighs on your spirit," Griner writes.  

The memoir is a detailed accounting of  Griner’s harrowing journey  through a Russian legal system known for its corruption. Griner describes it as "a rigged system where the house always won." In February 2022, just a week before Russia invaded Ukraine,  Griner was detained at the Moscow airport  on her way back to UMMC Ekaterinburg, the Russian team she’d played with for nearly a decade during the WNBA offseason.  

Read more from Lindsay Schnell here.  

What time is Indiana Fever vs. Atlanta Dream?

Caitlin Clark and the Indiana Fever will host the Atlanta Dream Thursday at 7 p.m. ET. The game will take place at the Gainbridge Fieldhouse in Indianapolis.

How to watch Indiana Fever vs. Atlanta Dream on TV

The game is not televised.

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Tom Brady's first game as a Fox NFL analyst will be Cowboys-Browns 2024 season opener

Tom Brady ’s long-awaited debut in the NFL broadcast booth now has a game and date affixed to it.

The seven-time Super Bowl champion and former Michigan quarterback will be on the call for Fox as an analyst for a week one matchup between the Dallas Cowboys and Cleveland Browns on Sept. 8 in Cleveland, the network announced on Monday ahead of the NFL’s schedule release, which will take place Wednesday night.

“Having the Cowboys on is a huge draw as America’s Team,” Brady said after being told of the assignment. “That’s going to get a little hard for me to say that all the time. Understand, they were the competition for a long time. In this new role, I know how important the Cowboys are to this network. They’ve got great storylines. Dak Prescott, let’s see if he can finally come through…Did that just slip out? Micah Parsons, what a great player he is, and coach McCarthy. I love covering them. I’ve obviously been going against them for a long time and now I get to tell everyone how great they are.”

REQUIRED READING: Michigan football to open 2024 season in prime time at Big House on NBC

Brady’s first non-playing football job since his retirement after the end of the 2022 season has been in the works for some time.

In May 2022, two months after Brady reneged on his initial retirement from the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Fox Sports announced that the legendary quarterback would be joining the network following the end of his playing career, having inked what was reported to be a 10-year deal worth an astonishing $375 million for a first-time broadcaster.

Brady ended up playing one more season for the Buccaneers and opted to wait until 2024 to assume his role with Fox. In the meantime, former Pro Bowl tight end Greg Olsen remained as Fox’s No. 1 analyst for the 2023 season.

The first game Brady will work should be an intriguing one, with the Cowboys and Browns both coming off a season in which they made the playoffs, though once there, neither team was able to win a game, with Dallas stumbling at home against the Green Bay Packers and Cleveland falling on the road against the Houston Texans.

A sixth-round pick out of Michigan in the 2000 NFL Draft, Brady played 23 NFL seasons, during which he won a record seven Super Bowls — six with the New England Patriots, one with the Buccaneers — and was a three-time NFL MVP. He is widely considered to be the greatest quarterback in NFL history.

How does Angel Reese go from practice to Met Gala and back? ‘It’s what I do’

CHICAGO — If you want to know how quickly the WNBA is changing, just look at Angel Reese ’s week.

On Monday, her 22nd birthday, the Chicago Sky rookie made an unusual trip after practice in suburban Deerfield.

Typically when people leave the Sachs Center, a park district health club in a strip mall, they might get some ramen at Jimmy Thai or a coffee at Dunkin’ Donuts. If they really feel like ruining their workout, they go across the street to Portillo’s.

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Reese, who is a bit different than the average player, rookie or not, went to the Met Gala .

“These new kids,” veteran guard Diamond DeShields said with a laugh and a sigh. “They got it made.”

Happy Birthday, @Reese10Angel ! The basketball superstar is making her first #MetGala appearance tonight wearing @16Arlington . See more @TheMarkHotelNY departures here: https://t.co/dCcxppu9YC pic.twitter.com/pnNtFCOHpA — WWD (@wwd) May 6, 2024

Reese rocked a custom dress from British label 16Arlington, enjoyed the night among the glitterati and then flew back to Chicago to be ready to put in some work Tuesday. She scored 13 points and added five rebounds in 19 minutes as the Sky blew out the New York Liberty in a 101-53 preseason victory.

“I went to the Met Gala, slayed the Met Gala in New York, came back, slayed against New York,” she said. “It’s what I do.”

“Angel is unique,” DeShields said. “She’s incredibly unique. I think that is really cool that she got that opportunity to go to the Met Gala. I mean, I’m still waiting on my invite.”

And for a meaningless preseason game, the Sky — who aren’t expected to be anything close to contenders and will be missing their top draft pick Kamilla Cardoso for four to six weeks because of a shoulder injury — legitimately had Chicago buzzing.

Reese has lent the team her shine. While No. 1 pick Caitlin Clark is the undisputed leader in WNBA rookie celebrity — she killed on Saturday Night Live before the draft — Reese is no slouch. It’s not why they drafted her No. 7 overall — she’s a ferocious rebounder and skilled inside scorer — but it doesn’t hurt to have some star power for a team looking for its share of the attention economy in a crowded market. The Sky were led by hometown legend Candace Parker when they lit up the city and won the WNBA title in 2021, but that glow quickly faded .

Now, it’s a new team and a new time. It’s Reese’s time.

On Tuesday, her viral trip to New York added some intrigue — How would she play? — and then Chicago Bears Caleb Williams, Rome Odunze and Keenan Allen showed up and sat courtside, making a game otherwise only open to season ticket holders a scene.

That Chi-Town love hits different 🤝 Keenan Allen, Caleb Williams, & Rome Odunze of the @chicagobears and Coby White of the @chicagobulls pulled up to support the Sky! pic.twitter.com/UKgWiUY608 — WNBA (@WNBA) May 8, 2024

Chicago athletes showing up to Sky games is normal — Williams, as the Bears’ No. 1 pick, adds a little extra pop to wherever he goes — but Reese, who is always thinking big, predicts this will be a recurring story here and on the road.

“Everybody is going to be courtside,” she said. “The celebrities are going to be courtside. Just know, the who’s who’s is going to be courtside. I was at the Met Gala and Usher (said he) is going to try to come up to a game in Vegas, and Cardi B. I know some people that y’all might not think I know, but I know.”

The big news in the league right now is the surprise announcement from commissioner Cathy Engelbert (seriously, even the teams didn’t know it was coming) that the WNBA will start traveling on chartered flights . The money is coming, and it’s time for the WNBA to invest in its game. No more travel delays that wipe out a day off.

A private plane, of course, is how Reese got to New York so quickly. Again, she’s different.

“I did all my hair and makeup on the plane,” she said. “Both of my girls and one of my friends got on the plane with me. We’re doing hair and makeup on a plane, blow drying and flat ironing, which is crazy, but it turned out great, as you can see.”

With young celebrities like Reese and Clark in the league and the attention they bring, perhaps that’s one reason why the WNBA is finally acting on the players’ long-held request for chartered flights.

“I am glad that the league was proactive,” veteran Sky forward Elizabeth Williams said. “We’re in a time where, I mean, Angel has 3 million followers. She has a spotlight on her that none of us have and we don’t have anything to compare it to. And rather than having an incident occur, I think this is a proactive take.”

After all that hoopla, Reese said that if she had a bad game against the Liberty , she would’ve heard her ex-coach at LSU , the forever-piqued Kim Mulkey, in her head, if not her current Sky head coach Teresa Weatherspoon. So she made sure she was ready to play, even if it was just a preseason game. Reese could make a serious living as a social media influencer, but this is her career.

“I already knew the expectations going into it, like I needed to be locked in and focused on my matchups,” she said. “I took my matchups seriously. I watched film when I was on the plane. I wanted to get back. People at the Met Gala were like, ‘Are you partying after this?’ I said, no, I got a game tomorrow. I gotta watch film. I prioritize everything. I’m still in school as well, so I got a busy schedule of a lot going on. But like I said, you’ve got to maximize your 24 hours.”

Weatherspoon, one of the greatest women’s basketball players of all time, hasn’t coached a real WNBA game yet, but she’s obviously comfortable enough to let her players be themselves. It bodes well for her as she shepherds a mostly new roster with limited outside expectations of winning.

As for Reese’s trip, she loved it. Weatherspoon said Reese “earned that opportunity to go and me as her head coach, I’m not going to take that away from her.”

“How did I know I could trust Angel Reese?” she said. “Angel does angelic stuff, so I know that she understands how to prioritize.”

At the Sky’s media day Wednesday, Reese talked about the duality of her life and her image on and off the court.

“I always felt like I wanted to be the cute, pretty girl on the court, but I wanted to also be a dog and have that dog mentality,” she said. “So I want to continue to let women understand and know, like, you can do both.”

The idea that women’s basketball players peak in college is foolish. At 22, Reese’s career and life are just beginning. Her WNBA career hasn’t started yet, but it’s fair to expect that we will be talking about her for a long time.

(Photo of Angel Reese: Ilya S. Savenok / Getty Images for The Mark Hotel)

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Jon Greenberg is a columnist for The Athletic based in Chicago. He was also the founding editor of The Athletic. Before that, he was a columnist for ESPN and the executive editor of Team Marketing Report. Follow Jon on Twitter @ jon_greenberg