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57 Most Famous and Inspirational Respect Quotes

Respect Quotes

If there is one trait we all get assessed for and that defines how good our character is – “respect”. the way we respect others around us, the way we respect the women, children, the blacks, the whites, the elderly and those who are low is stature than us, often determines how responsible and mature we are. we must respect everyone including ourselves at all times to lead a better, meaningful and purposeful life., below are the 57 best respect quotes (respect others quotes), “most good relationships are built on mutual trust and respect.” – mona sutphen, “knowledge will give you power, but character respect.”-  bruce lee, “a person’s a person, no matter how small.” – dr. seuss, “we must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.” – martin luther king, jr., “respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners.” – laurence sterne, “i speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.” – albert einstein, 7th of 57 respect quotes, “respect yourself and others will respect you.” – confucius,  related –  41 best inspirational goal setting quotes (having goals), “if you want to be respected by others, the great thing is to respect yourself. only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you.” –  fyodor dostoyevsky, “do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance.” –  abdul kalam, “when we treat people merely as they are, they will remain as they are. when we treat them as if they were what they should be, they will become what they should be” –  thomas s. monson, “tolerance only for those who agree with you is no tolerance at all. ” –  ray davis, “ men are respectable only as they respect.” – ralph waldo emerson,  must read –  top 30 uplifting self worth quotes for you, “that you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong. ” – william j. h. boetcker, “one of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say” – bryant h. mcgill, 15th of 57 respect quotes, “treat people the way you want to be treated. talk to people the way you want to be talked to. respect is earned, not given.” – hussein nishah, “never judge someone by the way he looks or a book by the way it’s covered; for inside those tattered pages, there’s a lot to be discovered.” – stephen cosgrove, “respect is a two-way street, if you want to get it, you’ve got to give it.” – r.g. risch, “give to every other human being every right that you claim for yourself.” – thomas paine, “without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts” – confucius,  also read –  43 positive attitude quotes images and thoughts, “i must respect the opinions of others even if i disagree with them.” – herbert h. lehman, “i firmly believe that respect is a lot more important, and a lot greater, than popularity.” – julius erving, “to be one, to be united is a great thing. but to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.” – bono, “he that respects himself is safe from others; he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce.” – henry wadsworth longfellow, “if i despised myself, it would be no compensation if everyone saluted me, and if i respect myself, it does not trouble me if others hold me lightly.” – max nordau, 25th of 57 respect quotes, “nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear. ” – albert camus, “this is the final test of a gentleman: his respect for those who can be of no possible value to him. ” – william lyon phelps, “respect a man, he will do the more.” – james howell, “never take a person’s dignity: it is worth everything to them, and nothing to you. ” – frank barron, “treat others as you want them to treat you because what goes around comes around” – unknown, “he who wants a rose must respect the thorn.” – persian proverb, “you should respect each other and refrain from disputes; you should not, like water and oil, repel each other, but should, like milk and water, mingle together.” –  buddha, “tolerance implies a respect for another person, not because he is wrong or even because he is right, but because he is human.” – john cogley, “respect commands itself and it can neither be given nor withheld when it is due.” – anonymous, “a lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect.” – anonymous, 35th of 57 respect quotes, “one of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.” – bryant h. mcgill, “you can’t force someone to respect you, but you can refuse to be disrespected.” -anonymous, “don’t lower your standards for anyone or anything. self-respect is everything.” -anonymous, “treat people the way you want to be treated. talk to people the way you want to be talked to. respect is earned, not given.”-  hussein nishah, “respect starts with yourself.”- anonymous, “the respect you show to others (or lack thereof) is an immediate reflection of your own self-respect.” – alex elle, “knowledge will give you power, but character respect.” – bruce lee, “respect should be the first thing you give.” – anonymous, “if people respect you respect them back if they disrespect you respect them back. they represent their ideology you represent yours.”- anonymous, “don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.” – anonymous, 45th of 57 respect quotes, “we will not agree with everyone, but we should most definitely respect one another.” – brooke griffin, “respect comes from within – we must purify our souls” – harsh tiwari, “if you want respect, you have to learn to give it too.” – anonymous, “truly powerful women don’t explain why they want respect. they simply don’t engage those who don’t give it to them.” – anonymous, “when you practice gratefulness, there is a sense of respect for others.” – dalai lama, “how people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves.” – anonymous, “don’t let someone get comfortable with disrespecting you.” – anonymous, “respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners.” -laurence sterne, “take very little notice of those people who choose to treat you poorly. it is how they are defining their story, not yours.” – lei wah,  must read –  31 rest in peace quotes dedicated to loved ones, “ironically people tend to change their attitude towards you when you begin treating them the way they treat you.” – anonymous, “respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy.” – anonymous, “self-respect is the cornerstone of all virtue.” – john herschell, 57th of 57 respect quotes, “treat everyone with kindness and respect, even those who are rude to you – not because they are nice, but because you are.” – anonymous,  share this with as many people as possible and spread “respect” all across – thank you, leave a comment cancel reply.

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Respect is earned, not given

Know your worth and know who’s worth your respect

By Kelsey Nevius @kelnevs

We’ve been taught since a young age that we should respect everyone, especially those who are different from us. We’ve been taught in school to respect our teachers, our peers, and our elders. We’ve been taught by our family to do the same, in all aspects: respect everyone around you. No questions asked, simply treat everyone with kindness and respect and everyone will treat you with the same.

I’m assuming that everyone tries to stick to the morals they were taught when they were young: don’t talk back to your parents, respect your elders, don’t have a dirty mouth especially if you are a lady, and raise your hand so you can be called on to speak. These social norms are enforced at a young age. We all know them, and we’ve all lived by them. We did this when we were young because if you did not comply, a punishment would be issued and you would learn, sooner or later, to follow the crowd and follow the rules. As I grew up, I too followed these rules. I still have a difficult time speaking out in class if I don’t raise my hand to be called on first. And that seems so silly. I am a grown adult, yet I still feel the need to raise my hand to say what I want to say.

And as I’ve grown up, I’ve come to realize that sometimes trying to treat everyone with the same respect and kindness that you would like to receive doesn’t always work out in your favor. So, my question is simple: why is respect simply given, and not earned?

I am a fairly outspoken person on the subject. Ask me if I respect someone more than they respect me, and I would most likely answer no. To me, respect is a two-way street. If you treat me with kindness and respect, I will do the same to you. If someone continuously has no respect for me, then I see no reason why I should, in turn, respect them. If someone continuously disrespects my time, emotions, lifestyle, anything of that nature, I see no reason why I should respect theirs. I would much rather part ways with the person who does not respect me in a civil manner than continue to be disrespected. And I guess what I’m trying to say here is, you shouldn’t either.

You are no lesser or greater than any other human being on this planet. Respect should be shared equally with your peers, to your boss, to your parents, with one exception: you deserve to be respected as much as they do, and if you are not, you should not feel as if your respect is simply given. No matter if someone is older, wealthier, or wiser, no one should feel the compulsion to give respect to someone who is disrespectful of them. Respect should always be earned. Those who have no respect for you should be treated civilly and with kindness, but should not have the gift of your respect.

I have grown into a breaker of these social norms. I talk back to my parents if I have a different perspective on something being discussed, mainly because I was also raised to have my own opinions and clearly state them. I highly respect my elders because I realize they have so much to teach me, but at the same time, my respect is not given if they do not give theirs to me. If someone continuously disrespects me, I do not respect them. Don’t get me wrong – I am civil and kind, but I feel no compulsion to respect them and you shouldn’t either.

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Treat people the way you want to be treated. Talk to people the way you want to be talked to. Respect is earned, not given. – Hussein Nishah

Treat people the way you want yourself to be treated.

Too often in our lives, we want to get respect from others instead of giving the same back to them. This is certainly something that we do wrong, and we keep on doing the same without admitting our own faults.

One must treat others just like the way he or she wants himself or herself to be treated like! It is all about what you give that you get the same in return.

Consequently, you should be talking to people just like the way you want others to talk with you. Be sure of the words you choose while you speak to others, for that may hurt them as well.

Therefore, always keep yourself at their position and do only those that you can accept too. If you think that you won’t be able to afford such kinds of treatment or bear certain words from others, know that they won’t be able to do it either.

Always behave nicely with people, for that speaks about your character and personality. Never misbehave with others, for that will never yield you great things in life.

Be polite and humble in your actions, always! Know that you cannot ask someone to give you respect. You should have the potential to earn respect from others. You need to do certain things so that others give you respect.

It is important to understand that when you say someone to give you respect, that’s something not worth it.

Your behavior and attitude makes an impression before them, which in turn, determines whether or not they are going to give you the respect that you actually deserve!

Make sure that you are right at your place, and the rest will automatically fall in their places. People will give you respect all by themselves and you will not have to ask for it.

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Why Respect Is Earned Not Given

By: Author Valerie Forgeard

Posted on Published: July 21, 2022  - Last updated: July 1, 2023

Categories Self Improvement , Community , Culture , Leadership , Society

Respect is something that everyone wants to receive from others and that others want to give. For some people, earning it can be challenging because it requires a certain amount of effort. But in reality, respect cannot be bought or given for free; instead, it must be earned through one’s behavior toward others.

The Reasons Why Respect Is Earned

You can’t buy respect, and you won’t get it if you expect to be respected for any reason other than because people want to respect you.

There’s no magic way to suddenly make yourself seem more important or worthy of respect than the people around you.

If you’re dealing with someone who doesn’t show you respect, the best thing you can do is show them how much they mean to you, which will make them treat you better. The more respect you show others, the more they’ll want to return the favor. Never forget this.

Respect takes many forms and can be expressed in many ways:

• Respect for diversity – This means accepting people who are different or want different things from us and treating them courteously.
• Respect for disagreement – We shouldn’t disrespect those who disagree with us. If you disagree, just withdraw from the conversation. If everyone did that, there would be less conflict.
• Respect for Elders – Respect for elders is something I was taught as a kid. It shows that we value their experience and wisdom, and it’s the first step in learning courtesy, even if some elders aren’t always pleasant.
• Respect authority – This means respecting those who’ve power over us, such as parents, teachers, police officers, politicians, business people, and other leaders in our community. But not everyone is a role model, and sometimes it can be a challenge to respect them, but sometimes you may not be doing it for them, but for your peace so that you don’t get into unnecessary conflicts.
• Respect for nature – We should treat the earth with utmost care because it provides us with food, fuel, and other resources we need to survive. It also provides us with the beauty that makes life worth living. This should be a golden rule in every culture.

Respecting Ourselves Is the First Step

Nothing is given to us as a gift. It takes time, effort, and patience to build trust, respect, and admiration in the eyes of others.

First and foremost, respect yourself by accepting who you’re. You may not be perfect, but you’re good enough. You may not be the most intelligent person in the room, but that doesn’t make you stupid.

You’re unique and distinctive. Your talents, skills, and abilities are all special in their way. No one else has had your experience or will ever have it again. So embrace who you’re and what you’ve to offer the world because it’s valuable.

The first step to earning respect is to respect yourself. It’s a simple concept, but it’s not so easy to get it right. It often takes years of self-reflection and self-acceptance before we can truly accept who we’re and what we stand for.

Treat Yourself With Love and Care Because Your Body Is Your Temple!

Your body can heal itself only if we give it what it needs (food, water, and exercise).

Eating clean, nutrient-dense foods allows our bodies to function correctly, which reduces the likelihood of getting sick! The same goes for exercise: Exercise helps our body’s blood flow and helps us stay healthy throughout the year! Being active also helps us sleep better at night.

Respect Is the Key to All Relationships

Respect is vital in many relationships, but it’s essential in friendships. Friendship is about giving, sharing, and helping others when needed.

We can show respect by listening to what our friends are saying, rather than just waiting for them to finish so we can put in our point of view. We can also show respect by honestly sharing our feelings and opinions with them, even though it may hurt or upset them.

Respect also means respecting each other’s differences – whether they’re physical (e.g., height or weight), emotional (e.g., feelings about school), or cultural (e.g., religious beliefs). By respecting these differences, everyone involved can show their true selves without fear of being judged or ridiculed by others.

Respect Should Go Both Ways

In an ideal world, respect is a two-way street, but it doesn’t always work that way. If you want to get respect from others, you must give it first.

You can’t demand respect from others and expect them to give it to you without asking.

• Respect is a mutual feeling between two people . So if one person shows disrespect to the other, nothing will change.
• Respect means being considerate of other people’s needs and wants . It means having good manners and being polite. Respect means treating everyone equally, regardless of age, race, gender, or religion.
• Respect is an essential aspect of life that helps us get along. If we’re respectful to others, they’ll usually be respectful to us. Lack of respect can lead to bullying and conflict at school and workplaces, so teaching children how to respect others early is essential. It is important to teach them how to show respect to others, but it’s also essential for a young person to feel respected. If a young person feels respected, she’s more likely to show the same level of respect to others and become a role model!

Mutual Respect Helps Build Stronger Relationships

Mutual respect is a two-way street. If you want to earn another’s respect, you need to give it back:

Respect the individuality of every fellow human being, whether it’s your colleagues, parents, managers, teachers, or even strangers. Try to respect their personal beliefs and opinions, even if they differ from yours.

Respect must also be earned by respecting yourself and others around you.

You Can’t Buy True Respect

Most people may show you their deep admiration when you’re rich and powerful, but that doesn’t mean they show you genuine respect.

Genuine Respect Comes From Within and Is Earned Through Actions, Not Money or Looks

People show respect to others because they recognize that they share a common humanity with them. It’s a recognition of our commonalities and our shared humanity. And we’ve to earn it over time by showing that we’re worthy of respect.

It Takes Hard Work to Learn What Proper Respect Means

Respect can be defined in many ways. It can mean knowing your place in the social hierarchy or being aware of your abilities and limitations.

When we’re young and learning about life, most of us learn essential respect values:

Say please and thank you, hold the door for someone when they come through behind you (especially if they look like they need help), and don’t eat like a pig at the dinner table (or any table for that matter).

These simple ways show others that we care about them and their feelings. We should never forget that everyone wants to feel important, no matter who they’re or where they come from.

Learning what respect means, however, takes hard work. You have to work hard to learn how to treat others, and you’ve to learn how to behave in certain situations. Respect isn’t something you just get; you’ve to earn it over time by being considerate of others’ feelings.

In Life, Nothing Is Given to Us. Proper Respect Is Earned, and It’s a Choice

Respecting others is a rewarding experience that makes you feel happier about yourself and the world around you. It also makes for better relationships! But it’s important to remember that respect isn’t something you can buy or demand from others. You’ve to earn it by showing others that they’re just as important as everyone else – and maybe even more important because they’re different from us.

Related Post

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Respect has great importance in everyday life. As children we are taught (one hopes) to respect our parents and teachers, school rules and traffic laws, family and cultural traditions, other people’s feelings and rights, our country’s flag and leaders, the truth and people’s differing opinions. And we come to value respect for such things; when we’re older, we may shake our heads (or fists) at people who seem not to have learned to respect them. We develop great respect for people we consider exemplary and lose respect for those we discover to be clay-footed; we may also come to believe that, at some level, all people are worthy of respect. We may learn that jobs and relationships become unbearable if we receive no respect in them; in certain social milieus we may learn the price of disrespect if we violate the street law: “Diss me, and you die.” Calls to respect this or that are increasingly part of public life: environmentalists exhort us to respect nature, foes of abortion and capital punishment insist on respect for human life, members of racial and ethnic minorities and those discriminated against because of their gender, sexual orientation, age, religious beliefs, or economic status demand respect both as social and moral equals and for their cultural differences. And it is widely acknowledged that public debates about such demands should take place under terms of mutual respect. We may learn both that our lives together go better when we respect the things that deserve to be respected and that we should respect some things independently of considerations of how our lives would go.

We may also learn that how our lives go depends every bit as much on whether we respect ourselves. The value of self-respect may be something we can take for granted, or we may discover how very important it is when our self-respect is threatened, or we lose it and have to work to regain it, or we have to struggle to develop or maintain it in a hostile environment. Some people find that finally being able to respect themselves is what matters most about finally standing on their own two feet, kicking a disgusting habit, or defending something they value; others, sadly, discover that life is no longer worth living if self-respect is irretrievably lost. It is part of everyday wisdom that respect and self-respect are deeply connected, that it is difficult both to respect others if we don’t respect ourselves and to respect ourselves if others don’t respect us. It is increasingly part of political wisdom both that unjust social institutions can devastatingly damage self-respect and that robust and resilient self-respect can be a potent force in struggles against injustice.

The ubiquity and significance of respect and self-respect in everyday life largely explains why philosophers, particularly in moral and political philosophy, have been interested in these two concepts. They turn up in a multiplicity of philosophical contexts, including discussions of justice and equality, injustice and oppression, autonomy and agency, moral and political rights and duties, moral motivation and moral development, cultural diversity and toleration, punishment and political violence, and a host of applied ethics contexts. Although a wide variety of things are said to deserve respect, contemporary philosophical interest in respect has overwhelmingly been focused on respect for persons, the idea that all persons should be treated with respect simply because they are persons. This focus owes much to the 18 th century German philosopher, Immanuel Kant, who argued that all and only persons and the moral law they autonomously legislate are appropriate objects of the morally most significant attitude of respect. Although honor, esteem, and prudential regard played important roles in moral and political theories before him, Kant was the first major Western philosopher to put respect for persons, including oneself, at the very center of moral theory, and his insistence that persons are ends in themselves with an absolute dignity who must always be respected has become a core ideal of modern humanism and political liberalism. In recent years many people have argued that moral respect ought also to be extended to things other than persons, such as nonhuman living beings and the natural environment.

Despite the widespread acknowledgment of the importance of respect and self-respect in moral and political life and theory, there is no settled agreement in either everyday thinking or philosophical discussion about such issues as how to understand the concepts, what the appropriate objects of respect are, what is involved in respecting various objects, and what the scope is of any moral requirements regarding respect and self-respect. This entry will survey these and related issues.

1.1 Elements of respect

1.2 kinds of respect, 2.1 some important issues, 2.2 kant’s account of respect for persons, 2.3 further issues, developments, and applications, 3. respect for nature and nonhuman beings, 4.1 the concept of self-respect, 4.2 treatment of self-respect in moral and political philosophy, 5. conclusion, philosophical works chiefly on respect and related concepts, philosophical works chiefly on self-respect and related concepts, other internet resources, related entries, 1. the concept of respect.

Philosophers have approached the concept of respect with a variety of questions. (1) One set concerns the nature of respect, including (a) What sort of thing is respect? Philosophers have variously identified it as a mode of behavior, a form of treatment, a kind of valuing, a type of attention, a motive, an attitude, a feeling, a tribute, a principle, a duty, an entitlement, a moral virtue, an epistemic virtue: are any of these categories more central than others? (b) Are there different kinds of respect? If so, is any more basic than others? (c) Are there different levels or degrees of respect? (d) What are the distinctive elements of respect, or a specific kind of respect? What beliefs, attitudes, emotions, and motives does (a specific kind of) respect involve, and what ways of acting and forbearing to act express or constitute or are regulated by it? (e) To what other attitudes, actions, valuings, duties, etc., is respect (or a specific kind) similar, and with what does it contrast? In particular, how is respect similar to, different from, or connected with esteem, honor, love, awe, reverence, recognition, toleration, dignity, contempt, indifference, discounting, denigration, and so on? (2) A second set of questions concerns objects of respect, including (a)What sorts of things can be reasonably be said to warrant respect? (b) What are the bases or grounds for respect, i.e., the features of or facts about objects in virtue of which it is reasonable and perhaps obligatory to respect them? (c) Must every appropriate object always be respected? Can respect be forfeited, can lost respect be regained? (3) A third set of questions focuses on moral dimensions of respect, including (a) Are there moral requirements to respect certain types of objects, and, if so, what are the scope and grounds of such requirements? (b) Why is respect morally important? What, if anything, does it add to morality over and above the conduct, attitudes, and character traits required or encouraged by various moral principles or virtues? (c) What does respect entail morally for how we should treat one another in everyday interactions, for issues in specific contexts such as health care and the workplace, and for fraught issues such as abortion, racial and gender justice, and global inequality?

It is widely acknowledged that there are different forms or kinds of respect. This complicates the answering of these questions, since answers concerning one form or kind of respect can diverge significantly from those about another. Much philosophical work has gone into explicating differences and links among the various kinds.

One general distinction concerns respect simply as behavior and respect as an attitude or feeling that may or may not be expressed in or signified by behavior. When we speak of drivers respecting the speed limit, hostile forces respecting a cease fire agreement, or the Covid-19 virus not respecting national borders, we can be referring simply to behavior which avoids violation of or interference with some boundary, limit, or rule, without any reference to attitudes, feelings, intentions, or dispositions, and even, as in the case of viruses, without imputing agency (Bird 2004). In such cases the behavior is regarded as constitutive of respecting. Where respect is conceived of as a duty or an entitlement, a certain kind of behavior or treatment may be all that is owed. Similarly, respect as a tribute could be just a certain mode of behavior, such as bowing or standing in silence. In other cases, however, we take respect to be or to express or signify an attitude or feeling, as when we speak of having respect for someone or of certain behaviors as showing respect or disrespect. Here, actions and modes of treatment count as respect insofar as they either manifest an attitude of respect or are of the sort through which the attitude is characteristically expressed; a principle of respect is one that necessarily must be adopted by someone with the attitude of respect or that prescribes the attitude or actions that express it (Frankena 1986; Downie and Telfer 1969); a moral virtue of respect involves having the attitude as a settled aspect of one’s way of being toward appropriate objects. Most discussions of respect for persons take attitude to be central. In what follows, I will focus chiefly on respect as attitude. There are, again, several different attitudes to which the term “respect” refers. Before looking at differences, however, it is useful first to note some elements common among varieties.

An attitude of respect is, most generally, a relation between a subject and an object in which the subject responds to the object from a certain perspective in some appropriate way. Respect necessarily has an object: respect is always directed toward, paid to, felt about, shown for some object. While a very wide variety of things can be appropriate objects of one kind of respect or another, the subject of respect (the respecter) is typically a person, that is, a conscious rational being capable of recognizing objects, intentionally responding to them, having and expressing values with regard to them, and being accountable for disrespecting or failing to respect them. Respect and disrespect can also be expressed or instantiated by or through things that are not persons, such as guidelines, rules, laws, and principles, systems, and institutional organizations and operations. So, we can say that laws that prohibit torture express respect for persons while the institution of slavery is profoundly disrespectful of human beings.

Ordinary discourse about respect as a responsive relation identifies several key elements, including attention, deference, judgment, valuing, and behavior. First, as its derivation from the Latin respicere , (to look back at, look again) suggests, respect is a form of regard: a mode of attention to and acknowledgment of an object as something to be taken seriously. Respecting something contrasts with being oblivious or indifferent to it, ignoring or quickly dismissing it, neglecting or disregarding it, or carelessly or intentionally misidentifying it. Respect is also perspectival: we can respect something from a moral perspective, or from prudential, evaluative, social, or institutional perspectives. From different perspectives, we might attend to different aspects of the object in respecting it or respect it in different ways. For example, one might regard another human individual as a rights-bearer, a judge, a superlative singer, a trustworthy person, or a threat to one’s security, and the respect one accords her in each case will be different. It is in virtue of this aspect of careful attention that respect is sometimes thought of as an epistemic virtue.

As responsive, respect is as much object-based as subject-generated; certain objects call for, claim, elicit, deserve, are owed respect. We respect something not because we want to but because we recognize that we have to respect it (Wood 1999); respect involves “a deontic experience”—the experience that one must pay attention and respond appropriately (Birch 1993). It thus is motivational: it is the recognition of something “as directly determining our will without reference to what is wanted by our inclinations” (Rawls 2000, 153). In this way respect differs from, for example, liking and fearing, which have their sources in the subject’s interests or desires. When we respect something, we heed its call, accord it its due, acknowledge its claim. Thus, respect involves deference, in the most basic sense of yielding to the object’s demands.

The idea that the object “drives” respect, as it were, is involved in the view that respect is an unmediated emotional response (Buss 1999b). But respect is typically treated as also an expression of the agency of the respecter: respect is deliberate, a matter of directed rather than grabbed attention, of reflective consideration and judgment. On this view, respect is reason-governed: we cannot respect a particular object for just any old reason or no reason at all. Rather, we respect something for the reason that it has, in our judgment, some respect-warranting characteristic, that makes it the kind of object that calls for that kind of response (Cranor 1975; Pettit 2021). And these reasons are both objective, in the sense that their weight or stringency does not depend on the respecter’s interests, goals, or desires, and categorical, in the sense that acting against these reasons, other things equal, is wrong (Raz 2001). Respect is thus both subjective and objective. It is subjective in that the subject’s response is constructed from her understanding of the object and its characteristics and her judgments about the legitimacy of its call and how fittingly to address the call. The objectivity of respect means that an individual’s respect for an object can be inappropriate or unwarranted, for the object may not have the features she takes it to have, or the features she takes to be respect-warranting might not be, or her idea of how properly to treat the object might be mistaken. Moreover, the logic of respect is the logic of objectivity and universality, in several ways. In respecting an object, we respond to it as something whose significance is independent of us, not determined by our feelings or interests. Our reasons for respecting something are, logically, reasons for other people to respect it (or at least to endorse our respect for it from a common point of view). Respect is thus, unlike erotic or filial love, an impersonal response to the object. And if F is a respect-warranting feature of object O, then respecting O on account of F commits us, other things equal, to respecting other things with feature F.

There are many different kinds of objects that can reasonably be respected and many different reasons why they warrant respect. Thus, warranted responses can take different forms. Some things are dangerous or powerful; respecting them can involve fear, awe, self-protection, or submission. Other things have authority over us and the respect they are due includes acknowledgment of their authority and perhaps obedience to their authoritative commands. Other forms of respect are modes of valuing, appreciating the object as having worth or importance that is independent of, perhaps even at variance with, our desires or commitments. Thus, we can respect things we don’t like or agree with, such as our enemies or someone else’s opinion. Valuing respect is kin to esteem, admiration, veneration, reverence, and honor, while regarding something as utterly worthless or insignificant or disdaining or having contempt for it is incompatible with respecting it. Respect also aims to value its object appropriately, so it contrasts with degradation and discounting. The kinds of valuing that respect involves also contrast with other forms of valuing such as promoting or using (Anderson 1993, Pettit 1989). Indeed, regarding a person merely as useful (treating her as just a sexual object, an ATM machine, a research subject) is commonly identified as a central form of disrespect for persons, and many people decry the killing of endangered wild animals for their tusks or hides as disrespectful of nature.

Finally, attitudes of respect typically have a behavioral component. In respecting an object, we often consider it to be making legitimate claims on our conduct as well as our thoughts and feelings and so we are disposed to behave appropriately. Appropriate behavior includes refraining from certain treatment of the object or acting only in particular ways in connection with it, ways that are regarded as fitting, deserved by, or owed to the object. And there are very many ways to respect things: keeping our distance from them, helping them, praising or emulating them, obeying or abiding by them, not violating or interfering with them, destroying them only in some ways, protecting or being careful with them, talking about them in ways that reflect their worth or status, mourning them, nurturing them. One can behave in respectful ways, however, without having respect for the object, as when a teen who disdains adults behaves respectfully toward her friend’s parents in a scheme to get the car, manipulating rather than respecting them. To be a form or expression of respect, behavior has to be motivated by one’s acknowledgment of the object as rightly calling for that behavior. On the other hand, certain kinds of feelings would not count as respect if they did not find expression in behavior or involved no dispositions to behave in appropriate ways, and if they did not spring from perceptions or judgments that the object is worthy of or calls for such behavior.

The attitudes of respect, then, have cognitive dimensions (beliefs, acknowledgments, judgments, commitments), affective dimensions (emotions, feelings, ways of experiencing things), and conative dimensions (motivations, dispositions to act and forbear from acting); some forms also have valuational dimensions. One last dimension is normative: the attitudes and actions of respect are governed by norms that set standards of success or failure in responding to respect-worthy-objects. Some norms are moral, grounded in moral principles or morally important characteristics of respect-worthy objects and both endorsable by and authoritative for all moral agents. Other norms are social, arising from dimensions of social life, grounded in socially significant characteristics of objectives, and authoritative or applicable (only) for participants in that form of sociality.

That it is the nature of the object that determines its respect-worthiness, and that there are different kinds of objects calling for correspondingly different responses, have led many philosophers to argue that there are different kinds of respect. In what follows, three sets of distinctions will be discussed.

Speculating on the historical development of the idea that all persons as such deserve respect, and using terms found in Kant’s writings on Achtung (the German word usually translated as “respect”), Feinberg (1975) identifies three concepts for which “respect” has been the name. (1) Respekt , is the “uneasy and watchful attitude that has ‘the element of fear’ in it” (1975, 1). Its objects are dangerous or powerful things. It is respekt that woodworkers are encouraged to have for power tools, a new sailor might be admonished to have for the sea, and a child might have for an abusive parent. Respekt contrasts with contemptuous disregard; it is shown in conduct that is cautious, self-protective, other-placating. (2) The second concept, observantia , is the moralized analogue of respekt. It involves regarding the object as making a rightful claim on our conduct, as deserving moral consideration in its own right, independently of considerations of personal well-being. It is observantia , Feinberg maintains, that historically was extended first to classes of non-dangerous but otherwise worthy people and then to all persons as such, regardless of merit or ability. Observantia encompasses both the respect said to be owed to all humans equally and the forms of polite respect and deference that acknowledge different social positions. On Kant’s account, observantia is the kind of respect we have an inviolable moral duty to give every person, both by acknowledging their claim to moral equality with us and by never treating persons as if they have little or no worth compared with ourselves (Kant 1797, 6:499). (3) Reverentia , the third concept, is the special feeling of profound awe and respect we involuntarily experience in the presence of something extraordinary or sublime, a feeling that both humbles and uplifts us. On Kant’s account, the moral law and people who exemplify it in morally worthy actions elicit reverentia from us, for we experience the law or its exemplification as “something that always trumps our inclinations in determining our wills” (Feinberg 1975, 2). Feinberg sees different forms of power as underlying the three kinds of respect; in each case, respect is the acknowledgment of the power of something other than ourselves to demand, command, or make claims on our attention, consideration, and deference. (See further discussion of Kant’s account in section 2.2.)

Hudson (1980) draws a four-fold distinction among kinds of respect, according to the bases in the objects. Consider the following examples: (a) respecting a colleague highly as a scholar and having a lot of respect for someone with “guts”; (b) a mountain climber’s respect for the elements and a tennis player’s respect for her opponent’s strong backhand; (c) respecting the terms of an agreement and respecting a person’s rights; and (d) showing respect for a judge by rising when she enters the courtroom and respecting a worn-out flag by burning it rather than tossing it in the trash. The respect in (a), evaluative respect , is similar to other favorable attitudes such as esteem and admiration; it is earned or deserved (or not) depending on whether and to the degree that the object is judged to meet certain standards. Obstacle respect , in (b), is a matter of regarding the object as something that, if not taken proper account of in one’s decisions about how to act, could prevent one from achieving one’s ends. The objects of (c) directive respect are directives: things such as requests, rules, advice, laws, or rights claims that may be taken as guides to action. One respects a directive when one’s actions intentionally comply with it. The objects of (d) institutional respect are social institutions or practices, positions or roles in an institution or practice, and persons or things that occupy positions in or represent the institution. Institutional respect is constituted by behavior that conforms to rules that prescribe certain conduct as respectful. These four forms of respect differ in several ways. Each identifies a quite different kind of feature of objects as the basis of respect. Each is expressed in action in quite different ways, although evaluative respect need not be expressed at all. Evaluative respect centrally involves having a favorable attitude toward the object, while the other forms do not. Directive respect does not admit of degrees (one either obeys the rule or doesn’t), but the others do (we can have more evaluative respect for one person than another). Hudson uses this distinction to argue that respect for persons is not a unique kind of respect but should be conceived rather as involving some combination or other of these four.

To Hudson’s four-fold classification, Dillon (1992a) adds a fifth form, care respect , which draws on feminist ethics of care. Care respect, which is exemplified in an environmentalist’s deep respect for nature, involves both regarding the object as having profound and perhaps unique value and so cherishing it, and perceiving it as fragile or calling for special care and so acting or forbearing to act out of felt benevolent concern for it.

Darwall (1977) distinguishes two kinds of respect: recognition respect and appraisal respect . Recognition respect is the disposition to give appropriate weight or consideration in one’s practical deliberations to some fact about the object and to regulate one’s conduct by constraints derived from that fact. (Frankena 1986 and Cranor 1982, 1983 refer to this as “consideration respect.”) A wide variety of objects can be objects of recognition respect, including laws, dangerous things, someone’s feelings, social institutions, nature, the selves individuals present in different contexts, people occupying certain social roles or positions, and persons as such. Appraisal respect, by contrast, is an attitude of positive appraisal, the “thinking highly of” kind of respect that we might have a great deal of for some individuals, little of for others, or lose for those whose clay feet or dirty laundry becomes apparent. Appraisal respect involves a grading assessment of a person in light of some qualitative standards that they can meet or not to greater and lesser degrees. It differs from the more widely grounded esteem and admiration in that it is concerned specifically with the moral quality of people’s character or conduct, or with other characteristics that are relevant to their moral quality as agents.

The recognition/appraisal distinction has been quite influential and is widely regarded as the fundamental distinction. Indeed, evaluative respect is similar to appraisal respect, while respekt , obstacle respect, observantia , directive respect, institutional respect, and care respect could be analyzed as forms of recognition respect. Some philosophers, however, have found the recognition/appraisal distinction to be inadequate, inasmuch as it seems to have no room for reverentia , especially in the form of the felt experience of the sublimity of the moral law and of persons as such (e.g., Buss 1999b), and it seems to obscure the variety of valuings that different modes of respect can involve. Much philosophical work has involved refining the recognition/appraisal distinction.

In the rest of this article, I will discuss respect and self-respect using Darwall’s term “recognition respect,” Hudson’s term “evaluative respect,” and Feinberg’s “reverential respect” (the last for the valuing feeling that is involuntary motivational without being deliberative), specifying the valuing dimensions as necessary.

In everyday discourse, respect most commonly refers to one of two attitudes or modes of conduct. The first is the kind of respect individuals show (or should show) others because of the latter’s social role or position. For example, children should respect their parents by listening and courtroom spectators should respect the judge. by rising upon her entrance. This is a social form of recognition respect that is, typically, structured by social institutions whose norms are authoritative for participants in the institutions and that need not involve any positive valuing of the object. “Respect” is also commonly used, second, in a valuing sense, to mean thinking highly of someone: having a lot of respect for someone who has overcome adversity or losing all respect for a betrayer. This is evaluative respect. However, philosophical attention to respect has tended to focus on recognition respect that acknowledges or values the object from a moral point of view, which we can call “moral recognition respect.” These discussions tend to relate such respect to the concepts of moral standing or moral worth. Moral standing, or moral considerability, is the idea that certain things matter morally in their own right and so are appropriate objects of direct fundamental moral consideration or concern (Birch 1993; P. Taylor 1986). Alternatively, it is argued that certain things have a distinctive kind of intrinsic moral worth, often called “dignity,” in virtue of which evoke reverential respect or ought to be accorded some valuing form of moral recognition respect. In modern philosophical discussions, humans are universally regarded as the paradigm objects of moral respect. Although some theorists argue that nature (or, all living beings, species, ecosystems) or societies (or, cultures, traditions) also warrant the moral consideration and valuing of moral recognition respect, most philosophical discussion of respect has focused on moral recognition respect for persons.

2. Respect for Persons

People can be the objects or recipients of different forms of respect. We can (directive) respect a person’s legal rights, show (institutional) respect for the president by calling her “Ms. President,” have a healthy (obstacle) respect ( respekt ) for an easily angered person, (care) respect someone by cherishing her in her concrete particularity, (evaluatively) respect an individual for her commitment to a worthy project, and accord one person the same basic moral respect we think any person deserves. Thus, the idea of respect for persons is ambiguous. Because both institutional respect and evaluative respect can be for persons in roles or position, the phrase “respecting someone as an R” might mean either having high regard for a person’s excellent performance in the role or behaving in ways that express due consideration or deference to an individual qua holder of that position. Similarly, the phrase “respecting someone as a person” might refer to appraising her as overall a morally good person, or acknowledging her standing as an equal in the moral community, or attending to her as the particular person she is as opposed to treating her like any other human being. In the literature of moral and political philosophy, the notion of respect for persons commonly means a kind of respect that all people are owed morally just because they are persons, regardless of social position, individual characteristics or achievements, or moral merit.

In times past, it was taken for granted that respect for human beings was a hierarchical notion; some humans, it was thought, have a higher moral standing and a greater moral worth than others and so are morally entitled to greater recognition respect. (Not just in times past – this is still the core of racism, sexism, and other forms of bigotry.) However, the modern understanding of respect for persons rests on the idea that all persons as such have a distinctive moral status in virtue of which we have unconditional obligations to regard and treat them in ways that are constrained by certain inviolable limits. This is sometimes expressed in terms of rights: all persons, it is said, have a fundamental moral right to respect simply because they are persons. Connected with this is the idea that all persons are fundamentally equal, despite the very many things that distinguish one individual from another. All persons, that is, have the moral standing of equality in the moral community and are equally worthy of and owed respect. Respect acknowledges the moral standing of equal persons as such and is also the key mode of valuing persons as persons.

But which kind of respect are all persons owed? It is obvious that we could not owe every individual evaluative respect, let alone equal evaluative respect, since not everyone acts morally correctly or has an equally morally good character. Moreover, since reverential respect is an involuntary emotional response to something that is “awesome,” but we can’t have a moral obligation to experience an emotion, reverential respect can’t be the kind we owe all persons. So, if it is true that all persons are owed or have a moral right to respect just as persons, then the concept of respect for person has to be analyzed as some form or combination of forms of moral recognition respect. One analysis takes moral recognition respect for a person as a person to involve recognizing that this being is a person, appreciating that persons as such have a distinctive moral standing and worth, understanding this standing and worth as the source of moral constraints on one’s attitudes, desires, and conduct, and viewing, valuing, and treating this person only in ways that are appropriate to and due persons (Dillon 1997, 2010).

It is controversial, however, whether we do indeed have a moral obligation to respect all persons regardless of merit, and if so, why. There are disagreements, for example, about the scope of the claim, the grounds of respect, and the justification for the obligation. There is also a divergence of views about the kinds of treatment that are respectful of persons.

One source of controversy concerns the scope of the concept of a person. Although in everyday discourse the word “person” is synonymous with “human being,” some philosophical discussions treat it as a technical term whose range of application might not be coextensive with the class of human beings (just as, for legal purposes, business corporations are regarded as persons). This is because some of the reasons that have been given for respecting persons entail both that some non-human things warrant the same respect on the very same grounds as humans and that not all humans do. Consequently, one question an account of respect for persons has to address is: Who or what are persons that are owed respect? Different answers have been offered, including all human beings; all and only those humans who are themselves capable of respecting persons; all beings capable of rational activity, or of sympathy and empathy, or of valuing, whether human or not; all beings capable of functioning as moral agents, whether human or not; all beings capable of participating in certain kinds of social relations, whether human or not. The second, third, and fourth answers would seem to exclude deceased humans and humans who lack sufficient mental capacity, such as the profoundly mentally disabled, the severely mentally ill and senile, those in persistent vegetative states, the pre-born, and perhaps very young children. The third, fourth, and fifth answers might include humans with diminished capacities, artificial beings (androids, sophisticated robots), spiritual beings (gods, angels), extraterrestrial beings, and certain animals (apes, dolphins).

In trying to clarify who or what we are obligated to respect, we are naturally led to a question about the ground or basis of respect: What is it about persons that makes them matter morally in such a way as to make them worthy of respect? One common way of answer this question is to look for some morally valuable natural qualities or capacities that are common to all beings that are noncontroversially owed respect (for example, all normal adult humans). Even regarding humans, there is a question of scope: Are all humans owed respect? If respect is something to which all human beings have an equal claim, then, it has been argued, the basis has to be something that all humans possess equally or in virtue of which humans are naturally equal, or a threshold quality that all humans possess, with variations above the threshold ignored. Some philosophers have argued that certain capacities fit the bill; others argue that there is no quality actually possessed by all humans that could be a plausible ground for a moral obligation of equal respect. Some draw from this the conclusion that respect is owed not to all but only to some human beings, for example, only morally good persons (Dean 2014). Another view is that the search for valuable qualities possessed by all humans that could ground universally owed moral recognition respect gets things backwards: rather than being grounded in some fact about humans, respect confers moral standing and worth on them (Sensen 2017; Bird forthcoming). But the last view still leaves the questions: why should this morally powerful standing and worth be conferred on humans? And is it conferred on all humans? Yet another question of scope is: Must persons always be respected? One view is that individuals forfeit their claim to respect by, for example, committing heinous crimes of disrespect against other persons, such as murder in the course of terrorism or genocide. Another view is that there are no circumstances under which it is morally justifiable to not respect a person, and that even torturers and child-rapists, though they may deserve the most severe condemnation and punishment and may have forfeited their rights to freedom and perhaps to life, still remain persons to whom we have obligations of respect, since the grounds of respect are independent of moral merit or demerit (Hill 2000b).

There is a further question of justification to be addressed, for it is one thing to say that persons have a certain valuable quality, but quite another thing to say that there is a moral obligation to respect persons (Hill 1997). So, we must ask: What reasons do we have for believing that the fact that persons possess quality X entails that we are morally obligated to respect persons by, for example, treating them in certain ways? Another way of asking a justification question seeks not a normative connection between qualities of persons and moral obligation, but an explanation for our belief that humans (and perhaps other beings) are owed respect, for example: What in our experience of other humans or in our evolutionary history explains the development and power of this belief? On some accounts, our actual felt experiences of reverential respect play a significant role (Buss 1999b). In other accounts, what justifies accepting our experience of respect for humans (or other beings) as grounds for an obligation is its coherence with our other moral beliefs (Hill 2000b; Margalit 1996; Gibbard 1990).

Other questions concern what respecting persons requires of us. Some philosophers argue that the obligation to respect person functions as a negative constraint: respect involves refraining from regarding or treating persons in certain ways. For example, we ought not to treat them as if they were worthless or had value only insofar as we find them useful or interesting, or as if they were mere objects or specimens, or as if they were vermin or dirt; we ought not to violate their basic moral rights, or interfere with their efforts to make their own decisions and govern their own conduct, or humiliate them, or treat them in ways that flout their nature and worth as persons. Other theorists maintain that we also have positive duties of respect: we ought, for example, to try to see each of them and the world from their own points of view, or help them to promote their morally acceptable ends, or protect them from their own self-harming decisions. And some philosophers note that it may be more respectful to judge someone’s actions or character negatively or to punish someone for wrongdoing than to treat them as if they were not responsible for what they did, although requirements of respect would impose limits on how such judgments may be expressed and how persons may be punished. Another question concerns equality of respect. While most theorists agree that moral recognition respect is owed equally to all persons and that it requires treating persons as equals (as all having the same basic moral worth and status), there is disagreement about whether respect requires that persons be treated equally (whatever is done or not done for or to one person must be done or not done for or to everyone). One view is that equal treatment would fail to respect important differences between individuals (Frankfurt 1999). Perhaps, however, as regards respect as a negative constraint, it is appropriate to treat all persons the same: no one should be treated like worthless garbage (just as no U.S. citizen should be compelled to incriminate themselves), while as regards respect as a positive duty, it may be more respectful of each person to treat individuals with different needs, aims, and circumstances differently (as a loving parent might allow her older children but not the younger ones to have social media accounts).

The most influential account of respect for persons is found in the moral philosophy of Immanuel Kant (1785, 1788, 1793, 1797). Indeed, most contemporary discussions of respect for persons explicitly claim to rely on, develop, or challenge some aspect of Kant’s ethics. Central to Kant’s ethical theory is the claim that all persons, regardless of personal qualities or achievements, social position, or moral track-record, are owed respect just because they are persons, that is, beings with rational and autonomous wills. To be a person is to have a status and worth unlike that of any other kind of being: it is to be an end in itself with dignity. And the only appropriate response to such a being is respect. Moreover, respect for persons is not only appropriate but also unconditionally required: persons must always be respected. Because we are all too often inclined not to respect each other, one formulation of the Categorical Imperative, which is the supreme principle of morality, commands that our actions express due respect for persons: “Act in such a way that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or the person of any other, never simply as a means but always at the same time as an end” ( Grundlegung zur Metaphysik der Sitten ( Groundwork of the Metaphysics of Morals) (1785, 4:429). Although commentators disagree about how precisely to understand this imperative, one common view is that it defines our fundamental moral obligation as respect all persons, including ourselves, and thus defines morally right actions as those that express respect for persons as ends in themselves and morally wrong actions as those that express disrespect or contempt for persons (Wood 1999). (On other readings, respect is one of our fundamental duties, but there are others, such as love, justice, and moral self-improvement.) In addition to this general commandment, Kant argues that there are also more specific duties of respect for other persons and self-respect, to which we’ll return. For now, we must address the question, What is it to be an end in itself and to possess dignity?

An end, for Kant, is anything for the sake of which we act. Kant identifies two kinds of ends. The first are subjective ends, which are things we want, which we pursue or promote through means we think will help us to get or advance them. The value of subjective ends is conditional on or relative to the desire or interests of the individual who values them. The other kind of end is objective. These are ends in themselves, ends whose value is not dependent on any interests or desires but is absolute and unconditional, grounded solely in what they are. Kant maintains that all and only rational beings are ends in themselves. The technical term “persons” delineates the category of beings whose rational nature “already marks them out as ends in themselves…and an object of respect” ( Groundwork 4: 428).

To act for the sake of persons as ends in themselves, to respect them, is not to pursue or promote them, but to value them as the unconditionally valuable beings they are. It is also to acknowledge that there are constraints on our treatment of persons, for to be an end in itself is also to be a limit--just as the end of the road puts a limit on our travels, so an end in itself puts an absolute limit on the subjective ends we may set, the means we may use to pursue them, and, very importantly, on how we may treat ends in themselves. Such beings must never be used as if they were merely means, as if they were nothing more than tools that we may use however we want to advance our ends. Note, however, that it is not wrong to treat persons as means to our ends; indeed, we could not get along in life if we could not make use of the talents, abilities, service, and labor of other people. What we must never do is treat persons as mere means to our ends, to treat them as if the only value they have is what derives from their usefulness to us. Rather, we must always treat them “as the same time as an end.”

Kant holds that persons, as ends in themselves, have dignity ( Die Metaphysik der Sitten ( The Metaphysics of Morals ) (1797), 6: 435). But what is dignity? Until the last century or so, “dignity” (from the Latin dignitas , worthiness) referred to a high social status associated with the aristocracy, offices of power, and high church positions. Dignity thus distinguished socially important people from the hoi polloi , who had no dignity (Debes 2017). Kant’s view that every person has dignity thus marks a revolution in valuation (but see Dean 2014 and Hay 2012 for the view that only morally good people have dignity). Commentators disagree about how to understand what Kant means by dignity (cf. Sensen 2017, 2011; Cureton 2013; Darwall 2008). But the most common interpretation is that dignity is a distinctive kind objective worth that is absolute (not conditional on anyone’s needs, desires, or interests, and a value that everyone has an overriding reason to acknowledge); intrinsic or inherent (not bestowed or earned and not subject to being lost or forfeited); incomparable and the highest form of worth (a being with dignity cannot rationally be exchanged for or replaced by any other valued object, and is infinitely valuable, we might say, rather than worth $5 or $5 million).

In arguing for respect for the dignity of persons, Kant explicitly rejects two other conceptions of human value: the aristocratic idea of honor that individuals differentially deserve according to their social rank, individual accomplishments, or moral virtue (on the aristocratic dimensions of honor, see Darwall 2013; Berger 1983), and the view, baldly expressed by Hobbes, that:

… the value or worth of a man is, as of all other things, his price—that is to say, so much as would be given for the use of his power—and therefore is not absolute but a thing dependent on the need and judgment of another. (Hobbes 1651, 79)

In The Metaphysics of Morals , Kant agrees with Hobbes that if we think of humans as merely one kind of animal among others “in the system of nature,” we can ascribe a price to them, an extrinsic value that depends on their usefulness. But, he argues,

a human being regarded as a person, that is, as the subject of morally practical reason, is exalted above all price…as an end in himself he possesses a dignity by which he exacts respect for himself from all other beings in the world. ( MM , 6: 434–435)

Against the aristocratic view Kant argues that although individuals as members of some social community or other may have or lack meritorious accomplishment or status or may deserve honor or evaluative respect to different degrees or not at all, and some people deserve social recognition respect based on their socially significant features or positions, all persons as members of the moral community, i.e., the community of all and only ends in themselves, are owed the same moral recognition respect, for the dignity that they possesses as rational is unconditional and independent of all distinguishing facts about or features of them.

As the Categorical Imperative indicates, in virtue of the humanity in them that persons are, and so ought to be treated as, ends in themselves. Commentators generally identify humanity (that which makes us distinctively human beings and sets us apart from all other animal species) with two closely related aspects of rationality: the capacity to set ends and the capacity to be autonomous, both of which are capacities to be a moral agent (for example, Wood 1999; Hill 1997; Korsgaard 1996). The capacity to set ends, which is the power of rational choice, is the capacity to value things through rational judgment: to determine, under the influence of reason independently of antecedent instincts or desires, that something is valuable or important, that it is worth seeking or valuing. It is also, thereby, the capacity to value ends in themselves, and so it includes the capacity for respect (Velleman 1999). The capacity to be autonomous is the capacity to be self-legislating and self-governing, that is, (a) the capacity to legislate moral laws that are valid for all rational beings through one’s rational willing by recognizing, using reason alone, what counts as a moral obligation, and (b) the capacity then to freely resolve to act in accordance with moral laws because they are self-imposed by one’s own reason and not because one is compelled to act by any forces external to one’s reason and will, including one’s own desires and inclinations. The capacity to be autonomous is thus also the capacity to freely direct, shape, and determine the meaning of one’s own life, and it is the condition for moral responsibility. It is then, not as members of the biological species homo sapiens that human beings have dignity and so are owed moral recognition respect, but as rational beings who are capable of moral agency.

There are several important consequences of the Kantian view of the scope of moral recognition respect for persons as persons. First, while all normally functioning human beings possess the rational capacities that ground recognition respect, there can be humans in whom these capacities are altogether absent and who therefore, on this view, are not persons and are not owed respect. Second, these capacities could, in principle, be possessed by beings who are not biologically human, and such beings would also be persons with dignity whom we are morally obligated to respect. Third, because dignity does not depend on how well or badly the capacities for moral agency are exercised, on whether a person acts morally or has a morally good character or not, dignity is not a matter of degree and cannot be diminished or lost through vice or morally bad action or increased through virtue or morally correct action. Thus, the morally worst person has the same dignity as the morally best, although the former, we might say, fail to live up to their dignity. Likewise, moral recognition respect is not something individuals have to earn or might fail to earn, so even the morally worst individuals must still be regarded as ends in themselves and treated with respect. Of course, wrongdoing may call for punishment and may be grounds for forfeiting certain rights, but it is not grounds for losing dignity, for being regarded as worthless scum, or denied all respect (Hill 2000b). What grounds dignity is something that all persons have in common, not something that distinguishes one individual from another. Thus, each person is to be respected as an equal among equals, without consideration of individual achievements or failures, social rank, moral merit or demerit. However, the equality of all rational beings does not entail that persons cannot also be differentially evaluated and valued in other ways for their particular qualities, accomplishments, merit, or usefulness, although such valuing and treatment must always be constrained by the moral requirement to accord recognition respect to persons as ends in themselves.

In The Metaphysics of Morals , Kant develops the implications of this view of persons as ends in themselves. His doctrine of justice holds that the fundamental freedom and equality of persons is the basis of the legitimate state, that freedom of choice must be respected and promoted, that persons are bearers of fundamental rights and that the moral status of persons imposes limits on permissible legal punishment. In his doctrine of virtue, Kant discusses specific moral duties of recognition respect for other persons, as well as duties of recognition self-respect, to which we’ll return below. Here, Kant explicitly invokes the notion of respect as observantia . We have no moral duty to feel respect for others; rather, the respect we owe others is “to be understood as the maxim of limiting our self-esteem by the dignity of humanity in another person, and so as respect in the practical sense” ( MM , 6:449). This duty of recognition respect owed to others requires two things: first, that we adopt as a regulating policy a commitment to control our own desire to think well of ourselves (this desire being the main cause of disrespect), and, second, that we refrain from treating others in the following ways: treating them merely as means (valuing them as less than ends in themselves), showing contempt for them (denying that they have any worth), treating them arrogantly (demanding that they value us more highly than they value themselves), making them look like worthless beings by defaming them by publicly exposing their faults, and ridiculing or mocking them.

Subsequent work in a Kantian vein on the duty of respect for others has expanded the list of ways that we are morally required by respect to treat persons. In particular, although Kant says that the duties of recognition respect are strictly negative, consisting in not engaging in certain conduct or having certain attitudes, many philosophers have argued that respecting others involves positive actions and attitudes as well. The importance of autonomy and agency in Kant’s moral philosophy has led many philosophers to highlight respect for autonomy. Thus, we respect others as persons (negatively) by doing nothing to impair or destroy their capacity for autonomy, by not interfering with their autonomous decisions and their pursuit of the (morally acceptable) ends they value, and by not coercing or deceiving them or treating them paternalistically. We also respect them (positively) by protecting them from threats to their autonomy (which may require intervention when someone’s current decisions seem to put their autonomy at risk) and by promoting autonomy and the conditions for it (for example, by allowing and encouraging individuals to make their own decisions, take responsibility for their actions, and control their own lives). Some philosophers have highlighted Kant’s claim that rationality is the ground for recognition respect, arguing that to respect others is to engage with them not as instruments or obstacles but as persons who are to be reasoned with. The importance of the capacity to set ends and value things has been taken by some philosophers to entail that respect also involves helping others to promote and protect what they value and to pursue their ends, provided these are compatible with due respect for other persons, and making an effort to appreciate values that are different from our own. Kant’s emphasis in the doctrine of justice on the fundamental rights that persons have has led still others to view the duty of recognition respect for persons as the duty to respect the moral rights they have as persons; some have claimed that the duty to respect is nothing more than the duty to refrain from violating these rights (Benn 1988; Feinberg 1970).

Finally, it is worth noting that on Kant’s account, both the moral law and morally good people--those who do what is right out of respect for the moral law--are also objects of respect. The respect here is reverentia , the inescapable felt consciousness of the unconditional authority of the law and compelling examples of obedience to it, a consciousness of one’s mind “bowing,” as it were, in submission. Reverentia can give rise both to recognition respect of the law and persons as such and to evaluative respect for good people. (See discussions in kant’s Groundwork (4:401n); Metaphysics of Morals (6:399–418); Kritik der praktischen Vernunft ( Critique of Practical Reason ) (1788) (5:72–76); and Die Religion innerhalb der Grenzen der bloßen Vernunft ( Religion within the Bounds of Mere Reason ) (1793) (6:21–23); and in Stratton-Lake 200; Grenberg 1999; Wood 1999; Hill 1998; McCarty 1994).

Philosophical discussions of respect since Kant have tended, on the one hand, to develop or apply various aspects of it, or on the other, to take issue with it or develop alternative accounts of respect. Some of the discussions have focused on more theoretical issues. For example, Kant gives the notion of respect for persons a central and vital role in moral theory. One issue that has since concerned philosophers is whether respect for persons is the definitive focus of morality, either in the sense that moral rightness and goodness and hence all specific moral duties, rights, and virtues are explainable in terms of respect or in the sense that the supreme moral principle from which all other principles are derived is a principle of respect for persons. Some philosophers have developed ethical theories in which a principle of respect for persons is identified as the fundamental and comprehensive moral requirement (for example, Donagan 1977; Downie and Telfer 1969). Others (for example, Hill 1993; Frankena 1986; Cranor 1975) argue that while respect for persons is surely a very important moral consideration, it cannot be the principle from which the rest of morality is deduced. They maintain that there are moral contexts in which respect for persons is not an issue and that there are other dimensions of our moral relations with others that seem not to reduce to respect. Moreover, they argue, such a principle would seem not to provide moral grounds for believing that we ought to treat mentally incapacitated humans or nonhuman animals decently, or would (as Kant argues) make a duty to respect such beings only an indirect duty—one we have only because it is a way of respecting persons who value such beings or because our duty to respect ourselves requires that we not engage in activities that would dull our ability to treat persons decently—rather than a direct duty to such beings ( Metaphysics of Morals , 6:443).

Some theorists maintain that utilitarianism, a moral theory generally thought to be a rival to Kant’s theory, is superior with regard to this last point. A utilitarian might argue that it is sentience rather than the capacity for rational autonomy that is the ground of moral recognition respect, and so would regard mentally incapacitated humans and nonhuman animals as having moral standing and so as worthy of at least some moral respect in themselves. Another issue, then, is whether utilitarianism (or more generally, consequentialism) can indeed accommodate a principle of respect for persons. In opposition to the utilitarian claim, some Kantians argue that Kant’s ethics is distinguishable from consequentialist ethics precisely in maintaining that the fundamental demand of morality is not that we promote some value, such as the happiness of sentient beings, but that we respect the worth of humanity regardless of the consequences of doing so (Wood 1999; Korsgaard 1996). Thus, some philosophers argue that utilitarianism is inconsistent with respect for persons, inasmuch as utilitarianism, in requiring that all actions, principles, or motives promote the greatest good, requires treating persons as mere means on those occasions when doing so maximizes utility, whereas the very point of a principle of respect for persons is to rule out such trading of persons and their dignity for some other value (Benn 1988, Brody 1982). In opposition, other theorists maintain not only that a consequentialist theory can accommodate the idea of respect for persons (Cummiskey 2008, 1990; Pettit 1989; Gruzalski 1982; Landesman 1982; Downie and Telfer 1969), but also that utilitarianism is derivable from a principle of respect for persons (Downie and Telfer 1969) and that consequentialist theories provide a better grounding for duties to respect persons (Pettit 1989).

In addition to the debate between Kantian theory and utilitarianism, theoretical work has also been done in developing the role of respect for persons in Habermasian communicative ethics (Young 1997; Benhabib 1991) and in exploring respect in the ethics of other philosophers, including ancient Greek poets (Giorgini 2017), Plato (Rowe 2017), Aristotle (Thompson 2017; Weber 2017; Rabbås 2015; Jacobs 1995; Preus 1991), Hobbes (2017), Hegel (Laitinen 2017; Moland 2002), and Mill (Loizides 2017). Cross-cultural explorations include discussions of similarities and differences between western (Kantian) views of respect for persons and Indian (Ghosh-Dastidar 1987), Confucian (Liu 2019; Lu 2017; Chan 2006; Wawrytko 1982), and Taoist views (Wong 1984). Several theorists have developed distinctively feminist account of respect for persons (Farley 1993; Dillon 1992a).

Other philosophical discussions have been concerned with clarifying the nature of the respect that is owed to persons and of the persons that are owed respect. Some of these discussions aim to refine and develop Kant’s account, while others criticize it, or offer alternatives. One significant non-Kantian account is Pettit’s conversive theory of respect for persons (Pettit 2021, 2015). An influential development of the Kantian account is Darwall’s second-personal account (2021, 2015, 2008, 2006, 2004), according to which the regulation of conduct that moral recognition respect involves arises from our directly acknowledging each other as equal persons who have the moral authority to address moral demands to one another that each of us is morally obligated to accept. The reciprocal relations of persons as authoritative claims-makers and mutually accountable claims-responders is, in Darwall’s view, one way of understanding what Kant calls in the Groundwork a “kingdom of ends.”

Another area of interest has been the connections between respect and other attitudes and emotions, especially love and between respect and virtues such as trust. For example, Kant argues that we have duties of love to others just as we have duties of respect. However, neither the love nor the respect we owe is a matter of feeling (or, is pathological, as Kant says), but is, rather, a duty to adopt a certain kind of maxim, or policy of action: the duty of love is the duty to make the ends of others my own, the duty of respect is the duty to not degrade others to the status of mere means to my ends ( Metaphysics of Morals , 6: 449–450). Love and respect, in Kant’s view, are intimately united in friendship; nevertheless, they are in tension with one another and respect seems to be the morally more important of the two. Critics object to what they see here as Kant’s devaluing of emotions, maintaining that emotions are morally significant dimensions of persons both as subjects and as objects of both respect and love. In response, some philosophers contend that respect and love are more similar and closely connected in Kant’s theory than is generally recognized (Bagnoli 2003; Velleman 1999; Baron 1997; R. Johnson 1997). Others have developed accounts of respect that is or incorporates a form of love (agape) or care (Dillon 1992a; Downie and Telfer 1969; Maclagan 1960), and some have argued that emotions are included among the bases of dignity and that a complex emotional repertoire is necessary for Kantian respect (Wood 1999; Sherman 1998a; Farley 1993). In a related vein, some philosophers maintain that it is possible to acknowledge that another being is a person, i.e., a rational moral agent, and yet not have or give respect to that being. What is required for respecting a person is not simply recognizing what they are but emotionally experiencing their value as a person (Thomas 2001a; Buss 1999b; Dillon 1997). Other attitudes, emotions, and virtues whose connections with respect have been discussed are toleration (for example, Carter 2013; Deveaux 1998; Addis 2004), forgiveness (for example, Holmgren 1993), good manners (Stohr 2012; Buss 1999a), esteem (for example, Brennan and Pettit 1997), reverence (Woodruff 2003, 2001), honor (Darwall 2015), and appreciation (Hill 2021). Work has also been done on attitudes and emotions that are (usually taken to be) opposed to respect, such as arrogance (Dillon 2003) and contempt (Miceli and Castelfranci 2018; Mason 2017; Bell 2013).

Another source of dissatisfaction with Kant’s account has been with his characterization of persons and the quality in virtue of which they must be respected. In particular, Kant’s view that the rational will which is common to all persons is the ground of respect is thought to ignore the moral importance of the concrete particularity of each individual, and his emphasis on autonomy, which is often understood to involve the independence of one person from all others, is thought to ignore the essential relationality of human beings (for example, Noggle 1999; Farley 1993; Dillon 1992a; E. Johnson 1982). Rather than ignoring what distinguishes one person from another, it is argued, respect should involve attending to each person as a distinctive individual and to the concrete realities of human lives, and it should involve valuing difference as well as sameness and interdependence as well as independence. Other critics respond that respecting differences and particular identities inevitably reintroduces hierarchical discrimination that is antithetical to the equality among persons that the idea of respect for persons is supposed to express (for example, Bird 2004). Identity and difference may, however, be appropriate objects of other forms of consideration and appreciation.

The ideas of mutual respect or disrespect and respect for particularity and relationality has also become an important topic in moral and political philosophy. Helm has argued that a “community of respect” is essential to understanding what a person is (Helm 2017). Margalit argues that humiliation, both disrespect and the result of being disrespected, is a form of exclusion of individuals from the good of community (Margalit 1996). One issue is how persons ought to be respected in multicultural liberal democratic societies (for example, Balint 2006; Tomasi 1995; C. Taylor 1992; Kymlicka 1989). Respect for persons is one of the basic tenets of liberal democratic societies, which are founded on the ideal of the equal dignity of all citizens and which realize this ideal in the equalization of rights and entitlements among all citizens and so the rejection of discrimination and differential treatment. Some writers argue that respecting persons requires respecting the traditions and cultures that permeate and shape their individual identities (Addis 1997). But as the citizenry of such societies becomes increasingly more diverse and as many groups come to regard their identities or very existence as threatened by a homogenizing equality, liberal societies face the question of whether they should or could respond to demands to respect the unique identity of individuals or groups by differential treatment, such as extending political rights or opportunities to some cultural groups (for example, Native Americans, French Canadians, African-Americans) and not others. Some of these discussions are carried out in terms of recognition rather than of respect, although some theorists contrast recognition and respect (McBride 2013). Honneth develops a broader, critical account of recognition that argues for a harmonious relationship among universal (recognition) respect, esteem, and love, arguing that each is essential for the development of positive relations towards ourselves (Honneth 2007, 1995).

The idea that all persons are owed respect has been applied in a wide variety of contexts. For instance, some philosophers employ it to justify various positions in normative ethics, such as the claim that persons have moral rights (Benn 1971; Feinberg 1970; Downie and Telfer 1969) or duties (Fried 1978; Rawls 1971), or to argue for principles of equality (Williams 1962), justice (Narveson 2002a, 2002b; Nussbaum 1999), and education (Andrews 1976). Others appeal to respect for persons in addressing a wide variety of practical issues such as abortion, racism and sexism, rape, punishment, physician-assisted suicide, pornography, affirmative action, forgiveness, terrorism, sexual harassment, cooperation with injustice, treatment of gays and lesbians, sexual ethics, and many others. In political philosophy, respect for persons has been used to examine issues of global inequality (e.g., Moellendorf 2010). One very important application context is biomedical ethics, where the principle of respect for autonomy is one of four basic principles that have become “the backbone of contemporary Western health care ethics” (Brannigan and Boss 2001, 39; see also Beauchamp and Childress 1979/2001 and, for example, Kerstein 2021; Munson 2000; Beauchamp and Walters 1999). The idea of respect for patient autonomy has transformed health care practice, which had traditionally worked on physician-based paternalism, and the principle enters into issues such as informed consent, truth-telling, confidentiality, respecting refusals of life-saving treatment, the use of patients as subjects in medical experimentation, and so on.

Although persons are the paradigm objects of moral recognition respect, it is a matter of some debate whether they are the only things that we ought morally to respect. One serious objection raised against Kant’s ethical theory is that in claiming that only rational beings are ends in themselves deserving of respect, it licenses treating all things which aren’t persons as mere means to the ends of rational beings, and so it supports domination and exploitation of all nonpersons and the natural environment. Taking issue with the Kantian position that only persons are respect-worthy, many philosophers have argued that humans who are not agents or not yet agents, human embryos, nonhuman animals, sentient creatures, plants, species, all living things, biotic communities, the natural ecosystem of our planet, and even mountains, rocks, and viruses have (full or perhaps just partial) moral standing or worth and so are appropriate objects of or are owed moral recognition respect. Of course, it is possible to value such things instrumentally insofar as they serve human interests, but the idea is that such things matter morally and have a claim to respect in their own right, independently of their usefulness to humans.

A variety of different strategies have been employed in arguing for such respect claims. For example, the concept of moral recognition respect is sometimes stripped down to its essentials, omitting much of the content of the concept as it appears in respect for persons contexts. The respect that is owed to all things, it can be argued, is a very basic form of attentive contemplation of the object combined with a prima facie assumption that the object might have intrinsic value (Birch 1993). Another strategy is to argue that the true grounds for moral worth and recognition respect are other than or wider than rationality. One version of this strategy (employed by P. Taylor 1986) is to argue that all living things, persons and nonpersons, have equal inherent worth and so equally deserve the same kind of moral respect, because the ground of the worth of living things that are nonpersons is continuous with the ground of the worth for persons. For example, we can regard all living things as respect-worthy in virtue of being quasi-agents and centers of organized activity that pursue their own good in their own unique way. I

A third strategy, which is employed within Kantian ethics, is to argue that respect for persons logically entails respect for nonpersons. For example, one can argue that rational nature is to be respected not only by respecting humanity in someone’s person but also by respecting things that bear certain relations to rational nature, for example, by being fragments of it or necessary conditions of it. Respect would thus be owed to humans who are not persons and to animals and other sentient beings (Foreman 2017; Rocha 2015; Wood 1998). Another strategy argues against Kant that we can both acknowledge that rational moral agents have the highest moral standing and worth and are owed maximal respect, and also maintain that other beings have lesser but still morally significant standing or worth and so deserve less but still some respect. So, although it is always wrong to use moral agents merely as means, it may be justifiable to use nonpersons as means (for example, to do research on human embryos or kill animals for food) provided their moral worth is also respectfully acknowledged (Meyer and Nelson, 2001). Much philosophical work has been done, particularly in environmental ethics, to determine the practical implications of the claim that things other than persons are owed respect (e.g., Corral 2015; Foreman 2015; Schmidtz 2011; Bognar 2011; Connolly 2006; Wiggins 2000; Westra 1989).

4. Self-Respect

While there is much controversy about respect for persons and other things, there is surprising agreement among moral and political philosophers about at least this much concerning respect for oneself: self-respect is something of great importance in everyday life. Indeed, it is regarded both as morally required and as essential to the ability to live a satisfying, meaningful, flourishing life—a life worth living—and just as vital to the quality of our lives together. Saying that a person has no self-respect or acts in a way no self-respecting person would act, or that a social institution undermines the self-respect of some people, is generally a strong moral criticism. Nevertheless, as with respect itself, there is philosophical disagreement, both real and merely apparent, about the nature, scope, grounds, and requirements of self-respect. Self-respect is often defined as a sense of worth or as due respect for oneself; it has been analyzed in various ways: it is treated as a moral duty connected with the duty to respect all persons, as something to which all persons have a right and which it would be unjust to undermine, as a moral virtue essential to morally good living, and as something one earns by living up to demanding standards. Self-respect is frequently (but not always correctly) identified with or compared to self-esteem, self-confidence, dignity, self-love, a sense of honor, self-reliance, pride, and it is contrasted (but not always correctly) with servility, shame, humility, self-abnegation, arrogance, self-importance. Understanding how, if at all, self-respect is connected with and different from these other attitudes and stances is important to having a good understanding of self-respect and the other things.

In addition to the questions philosophers have addressed about respect in general, other questions have been of particular concern to those interested in self-respect, such as: (1) What is self-respect, and how is it connected to or different from related notions such as self-esteem, self-confidence, pride, and so on? How are respect for persons and respect for oneself alike and unalike? (2) How is self-respect related to such things as moral rights, virtue, autonomy, integrity, and identity? (3) Is there a moral duty to respect ourselves as there is a duty to recognition respect others? (4) Are there objective conditions—for example, moral standards or correct judgments—that a person must meet in order to have self-respect, or is self-respect a subjective phenomenon that gains support from any sort of self-valuing without regard to correctness or moral acceptability? (5) Does respecting oneself conceptually entail or causally require or lead to respecting other persons (or anything else)? And how are respect for other persons and respect for oneself alike and unalike? (6) What features of an individual’s psychology and experience, what aspects of the social context, and what modes of interactions with others support or undermine self-respect? (7) Are social institutions and practices to be judged just or unjust (at least in part) by how they affect self-respect? Can considerations of self-respect help us to better understand the nature and wrongness of injustices such as oppression and to determine effective and morally appropriate ways to resist or end them?

Self-respect is a form of self-regard, a moral relation of persons (and only persons) to themselves that concerns their own important worth. Self-respect is thus essentially a valuing form of respect. It is, moreover, a normative stance--it is due regard for oneself, proper regard for the dignity of one’s person or position (as the O.E.D. puts it). Like respect for others, self-respect is a complex of multilayered and interpenetrating phenomena; it involves all those aspects of cognition, valuation, affect, expectation, motivation, action, and reaction that compose a mode of being in the world at the heart of which is an appropriate appreciation of oneself as having significant worth. Unlike some forms of respect, self-respect is not something one has only now and again or that might have no effect on its object. Rather, self-respect has to do with the structure and attunement of an individual’s identity and of her life, and it reverberates throughout the self, affecting the configuration and constitution of the person’s thoughts, desires, values, emotions, commitments, dispositions, and actions. As expressing or constituting one’s sense of worth, it includes an engaged understanding of one’s worth, as well as a desire and disposition to protect and preserve it. Accounts of self-respect differ in their characterizations of the beliefs, desires, affects, and behaviors that are constitutive of it, chiefly because of differences concerning both the aspects or conception of the self insofar as it is the object of one’s respect and also the nature and grounds of the worth of the self or aspects of the self.

Most theorists agree that as there are different kinds of respect, so there are different kinds of self-respect. However, we clearly cannot apply all kinds of respect to ourselves: it makes no sense to talk of directive respect for oneself, for instance, and although one might regard oneself or some of one’s characteristics as obstacles (“I’m my own worst enemy”), this would not generally be considered a form of self-respect. Because the notion of self-worth is the organizing motif for self-respect, and because in the dominant Western tradition two kinds of worth are ascribed to persons, two kinds of self-respect can be distinguished.

One way of expressing the distinction is to focus on the kinds of self-worth around which it is oriented. One kind of worth has to do with what the individual is: occupant of a social role, member of a certain class, group, or people, someone with a certain place in a social hierarchy, or simply a human person. Kantian dignity is one form, but not the only form, of this kind of worth. Such status- or identity-grounded worth entails both entitlements to due treatment from others and responsibilities for the individual in virtue of being the kind of thing that is rightly the object of respect. Recognition self-respect centers on this kind of worth. (Bird calls this “entitlement self-respect” (Bird 2010); Schemmel calls it “standing self-respect” (Schemmel 2019)). The censuring question, “Have you no self-respect?”, the phrase “No self-respecting person would ...,” and the idea that everyone has a right to self-respect concern recognition self-respect. Another kind of self-respect depends not on what one is but on the kind of person one is making of oneself, on the extent to which one’s character and conduct meet standards of worthiness. Evaluative self-respect has to do with this second kind of worth, an acquired worth that we can call “merit,” which is based on the quality of one’s character and conduct. (Darwall (1997) calls this “appraisal self-respect”; Bird and Schemmel call it “standards self-respect,” since merit is a function of the standards to which one holds oneself and by which one evaluates or appraises oneself.) We earn or lose merit, and so deserve or don’t deserve evaluative self-respect, through what we do or become. Although they are different, recognition self-respect and evaluative self-respect are related. The former involves, among other things, recognizing certain norms as entailed by one’s identity-based worth and valuing oneself appropriately by striving to live in accord with them. The latter involves regarding oneself as having merit because one is or is becoming the kind of person who does live in accord with what one regards as appropriate norms or standards.

Individuals have numerous identities and so worth bases for different forms of recognition self-respect. While self-respect based on one’s social role or position can be quite important to the individual and how she lives her life as a self-respecting chef, rabbi, mother, teacher, Hindu, or member of the aristocracy, most philosophical discussions, heavily influenced by Kant, focus on dignity-based respect for oneself as a person, that is, on moral recognition self-respect. Recognition respect for oneself as a person, then, involves living in light of an understanding and appreciation of oneself as having dignity and moral status just in virtue of being a person, and of the moral constraints that arise from that dignity and status. All persons are morally obligated or entitled to have this kind of self-respect. Because the dominant Kantian conception of persons grounds dignity in three things—equality, agency, and individuality—we can further distinguish three kinds of recognition self-respect. The first is respect for oneself as a person among persons, as a member of the moral community with a status and dignity equal to every other person (see, for example, Thomas 1983a; Boxill 1976; Hill 1973). This involves having some conception of the kinds of treatment from others that would count as one’s due as a person and treatment that would be degrading or beneath one’s dignity, desiring to be regarded and treated appropriately, and resenting and being disposed to protest disregard and disrespectful treatment. Thinking of oneself as having certain moral rights that others ought not to violate is part of this kind of self-respect; servility (regarding oneself as the inferior of others) and arrogance (thinking oneself superior to others) are among its opposites.

The second kind of recognition self-respect involves an appreciation of oneself as an agent, a being with the ability and responsibility to act autonomously and value appropriately (see, for example, G. Taylor 1985; Telfer 1968). Persons who respect themselves as agents take their responsibilities seriously, especially their responsibilities to live in accord with their dignity as persons, to govern themselves fittingly, and to make of themselves and their lives something they believe to be good. So, self-respecting persons regard certain forms of acting, thinking, desiring, and feeling as befitting them as persons and other forms as self-debasing or shameful, and they expect themselves to adhere to the former and avoid the latter. They take care of themselves and seek to develop and use their talents and abilities in pursuit of their plans, projects, and goals. Those who are shameless, uncontrolled, weak-willed, self-consciously sycophantic, chronically irresponsible, slothfully dependent, self-destructive, or unconcerned with the shape and direction of their lives may be said to not respect themselves as agents.

A third kind of recognition self-respect involves the appreciation of the importance of being autonomously self-defining. One way a self-respecting individual does this is through having, and living in light, of a normative self-conception, i.e., a conception of being and living that she regards as worthy of her as the particular person she is. Such a self-conception both gives expression to ideals and commitments that shape the individual’s identity, and also organizes desires, choices, pursuits, and projects in ways that give substance and worth to the self. Self-respecting people hold themselves to personal expectations and standards the disappointment of which they would regard as unworthy of them, shameful, even contemptible (although they may not apply these standards to others) (Hill 1982). People who sell out, betray their own values, live inauthentic lives, let themselves be defined by others, or are complacently self-accepting lack this kind of recognition self-respect.

To these three Kantian kinds of recognition self-respect, we can add a fourth, which has to do with the fact that it is not just as abstract human beings or as agents with personal and universalizable moral goals and obligations that individuals can, do, or should respect themselves but also as concrete persons embedded in particular social structures and occupying various social positions with status-related responsibilities they must meet to be self-respecting (Middleton 2006). This last kind also has political implications, as discussed below.

Evaluative self-respect, which expresses confidence in one’s merit as a person, rests on an appraisal of oneself in light of the normative self-conception that structures recognition self-respect. Recognition self-respecting persons are concerned to be the kind of person they think it is good and appropriate for them to be and they try to live the kind of life such a person should live. Thus, they have and try to live by certain standards of worthiness by which they are committed to judge themselves. Indeed, they stake themselves, their value and their identities, on living in accord with these standards. Because they want to know where they stand, morally, they are disposed to reflectively examine and evaluate their character and conduct in light of their normative vision of themselves. And it matters to them that they are able to “bear their own survey,” as Hume says (1739, 620). Evaluative self-respect contains the judgment that one is or is becoming the worthy kind of person one seeks to be, and, more significantly, that one is not in danger of becoming an unworthy kind of person (Dillon 2004). Evaluative self-respect holds, at the least, the judgment that one “comes up to scratch,” as Telfer (1968) puts it. Those whose conduct is unworthy or whose character is shameful by their own standards do not deserve their own evaluative respect. However, people can be poor self-appraisers and their standards can be quite inappropriate to them or to any person, and so their evaluative self-respect, though still subjectively satisfying, can be unwarranted, as can the loss or lack of it. Interestingly, although philosophers have paid scant attention to evaluative respect for others, significant work has been done on evaluative self-respect. This may reflect an asymmetry between the two: although our evaluative respect for others may have no effect on them, perhaps because we don’t express it or they don’t value our appraisal, our own self-evaluation matters intensely to us and can powerfully affect our self-identity and the shape and structure of our lives. Indeed, an individual’s inability to stomach herself can profoundly diminish the quality of her life, even her desire to continue living.

Some philosophers have contended that a third kind of self-valuing underlies both recognition and evaluative self-respect. It is a more basic sense of worth that enables an individual to develop the intellectually more sophisticated forms, a precondition for being able to take one’s qualities or the fact that one is a person as grounds of positive self-worth. It has been called “basic psychological security” (Thomas 1989), “self-love” (Buss 1999), and “basal self-respect” (Dillon 1997). Basal self-valuing is our most fundamental sense of ourselves as mattering and our primordial interpretation of self and self-worth. Strong and secure basal self-respect can immunize an individual against personal failing or social denigration, but damage to basal self-respect, which can occur when people grow up in social, political, or cultural environments that devalue them or “their kind,” can make it impossible for people to properly interpret themselves and their self-worth, because it affects the way in which they assess reality and weigh reasons. Basal self-respect is thus the ground of the possibility of recognition and evaluative self-respect.

There are also non-deontological accounts of moral recognition self-respect. Utilitarians, for example, can treat self-respect as of paramount importance to a flourishing or happy life, and thereby justifying moral constraints on the treatment of others (Scarre 1992). Similarly, one could give a virtue-theoretical account of recognition self-respect, especially the agentic form (Dillon 2015), although this avenue has been relatively unexplored

It is common in everyday discourse and philosophical discussion to treat self-respect and self-esteem as synonyms. It is evaluative self-respect, typically, with which self-esteem is conflated (Dillon 2013). Evaluative self-respect and (high) self-esteem are both forms of positive self-regard concerned with one’s worth, both involve having a favorable view of oneself in virtue of one’s activities and personal qualities, and a person can have or lack either one undeservedly. Nevertheless, many philosophers have argued that the two attitudes are importantly different (for example, Dillon 2004, 2013; Harris 2001; Chazan 1998; Sachs 1981; Darwall 1977), although some theorists treat the evaluative stance as a form of self-esteem (“mortal self-esteem”). The main difference between the two is that evaluative self-respect is a normative stance and self-esteem is not: the former calls for justification in light of standards one has good reason to regard as appropriate, while the latter arises from beliefs about oneself whose justification need not matter to one and that need not involve standards-based self-assessment. Many philosophers agree that evaluative self-respect is morally important, which makes sense inasmuch as it is in the service of the moral demands of dignity, worthy character, agency, and one’s moral commitments, and so is a motivation for morally appropriate living. Self-esteem--having a good opinion of oneself or feeling good about oneself--is one of the most extensively studied phenomena in psychology and social psychology; it is generally regarded by social scientists as central to healthy psychological functioning and well-being, although they note that it has no necessary connection to moral values, is central to such negative states as narcissism, and can lead to serious disrespect of others and harm unless appropriately constrained (Baumeister et al 1996). (But see Keshen (2017) on the value of reasonable self-esteem.) One way of distinguishing evaluative self-respect and self-esteem is by their grounds and the points of view from which they are appraised. Evaluative self-respect involves an assessment from a moral point of view of one’s character and conduct in light of standards one regards as implied by one’s moral worth as an agent and a person. Self-esteem, as popularly and scientifically understood, is based both on whatever qualities or activities one prizes or thinks others prize, and on the esteem one believes one gets from others whose esteem one values. It does not essentially concern morally significant worth, appropriate self-valuing, or self-assessment from a moral point of view, and it can be based on features wholly unrelated to or even opposed to good character. For example, one can have a good opinion of oneself in virtue of being a good joke-teller or for having won an important sports competition and yet not think one is a good person because of it (Darwall 1977). And depending on what serves one’s psychological needs or suits one’s companions, one can derive high self-esteem from successful thuggery as from being honest and kind. To have self-esteem is to feel good about oneself; to have evaluative self-respect is to feel justified, to be able to hold one’s head up, look others in the eye, face oneself in the mirror. Another way of distinguishing them focuses on what it is to lose them: to lose evaluative respect for oneself is to find oneself to be shameful, contemptible, or intolerable; to lose self-esteem is to think less well of oneself, to be downcast because one believes one lacks qualities that would add to one’s luster (Harris 2001) or that others think less well of one.

Self-respect is also often identified with pride, although the two are rather different (Morton 2017). Just as there are different kinds of self-respect so, there are different kinds of pride, which are complexly related. In one sense, pride is the pleasure or satisfaction taken in one’s achievements, possessions, or associations; this kind of pride can be an affective element of either evaluative self-respect or self-esteem. In another sense, pride is inordinate self-esteem or vanity, an excessively high opinion of one’s qualities, accomplishments, or status that can make one arrogant and contemptuous of others. This kind of pride contrasts with both well-grounded evaluative self-respect and the interpersonal kind of moral recognition self-respect. But pride can also be a claim to and celebration of a status worth or to equality with others, especially other groups (for example, Black Pride), which is interpersonal recognition self-respect (Thomas 1993a, 1978–79). Pride can also be “proper pride,” which is a sense of one’s dignity that prevents one from doing what is unworthy; this is the agentic dimension of recognition self-respect. Pride’s opposites, shame and humility, are also closely related to self-respect. A loss of evaluative self-respect may be expressed in shame, but shameless people manifest a lack of recognition self-respect; and although humiliation can diminish or undermine recognition self-respect and evaluative self-respect, humility is an appropriate dimension of the evaluative self-respect of any imperfect person.

One issue with which contemporary philosophers have been concerned is whether self-respect is an objective concept or a subjective one. If it is the former, then there are certain beliefs, attitudes, and dispositions a person must have to be self-respecting. A person who thought of herself as a lesser sort of being whose interests and well-being are less important than those of others would not count as having moral recognition self-respect, no matter how appropriate she regards her stance. If self-respect is a subjective concept, then a person counts as having self-respect if, for example, she believes she is not tolerating treatment she regards as unworthy or behaving in ways she thinks is beneath her, regardless of whether her judgments about herself are accurate or her standards or sense of what she is due are judged by others to be reasonable or worthy (Massey 1983a). Psychologists, for whom “self-esteem” is the term of practice, tend to regard the various dimensions of a person’s sense of worth as subjective. Many philosophers treat the interpersonal dimension of recognition self-respect objectively, and it is generally thought that having manifestly inaccurate beliefs about oneself is good grounds for at least calling an individual’s sense of worth unjustified or compromised (Meyers 1989). But there is no consensus regarding the standards to which individuals hold themselves and by which they judge themselves, and certainly the standards of the self-defining dimension of moral recognition self-respect are inescapably, though perhaps not exclusively, subjective. Complicating the objective/subjective distinction, however, is the fact of the social construction of self-respect. What it is to be a person or to have a status worthy of respect, what treatment and conduct are appropriate to a person or one with such a status, what forms of life and character have merit—all of these are given different content in different sociocultural contexts. Individuals necessarily, though perhaps not inalterably, learn to engage with themselves and with issues of self-worth in the terms and modes of the sociocultural conceptions in which they have been immersed. And different kinds of individuals may be given different opportunities in different sociocultural contexts to acquire or develop the grounds of the different kinds of self-respect (Dillon 2021, 1997; Moody-Adams 1992–93; Meyers 1989; Thomas 1983b). Even fully justified self-respect may thus be less than strongly objective and more than simply subjective.

Self-respect is frequently appealed to as a means of justifying a wide variety of philosophical claims or positions, generally in arguments of the form: x promotes (or undermines) self-respect; therefore, x is to that extent to be morally approved (or objected to). For example, appeals to self-respect have been used to argue for, among many other things, the value of moral rights (Feinberg 1970), moral requirements or limits regarding forgiving others or oneself (Dillon 2001; Holmgren 1998, 1993; Novitz 1998; Haber 1991; Murphy 1982), and both the rightness and wrongness of practices such as affirmative action. Such arguments rely on rather than establish the moral importance of self-respect. Most philosophers who attend to self-respect tend to treat it as important in one of two ways, which are exemplified in the very influential work of Kant and John Rawls.

Kant argues that, just as we have a moral duty to respect others as persons, so we have a moral duty to respect ourselves as persons, a duty that derives from our dignity as rational beings. This duty requires us to act always in an awareness of our dignity and so to act only in ways that are consistent with our status as ends in ourselves and to refrain from acting in ways that abase, degrade, defile, or disavow our rational nature. That is, we have a duty of moral recognition self-respect. In The Metaphysics of Morals (1797), Kant argues for specific duties to oneself generated by the general duty to respect humanity in our persons, including duties to not engage in suicide, misuse of our sexual powers, drunkenness and other unrestrained indulgence of inclination, lying, self-deception, avarice, and servility. Kant also maintains that the duty of self-respect is the most important moral duty, for unless there were duties to respect oneself, there could be no moral duties at all. Moreover, fulfilling our duty to respect ourselves is a necessary condition of fulfilling our duties to respect other persons. Kant maintains that we are always aware of our dignity as persons and so of our moral obligation to respect ourselves, and he identifies this awareness as a feeling of reverential respect for ourselves. This is one of the natural capacities of feeling which we could have no duty to acquire but that make it possible for us to be motivated by the thought of duty. Reverence for self is, along with “moral feeling,” conscience, and love of others, a subjective source of morality, and it is the motivational ground of the duty of self-respect. Kant also discusses evaluative self-respect, especially in Critique of Practical Reason (1788) and his Lectures on Ethics (1779), as a combination of noble pride, which is the awareness that we have honored and preserved our dignity by acting in morally worthy ways, and a healthy dose of humility, which is the awareness that we inevitably fall short of the lofty requirements of the moral law. Kant regards well-grounded evaluative self-respect as a subjective motivation to continue striving to do right and be good.

Rawls, by contrast, views self-respect neither as something we are morally required to have and maintain nor as a feeling we necessarily have, but as an entitlement that social institutions are required by justice to support and not undermine. In A Theory of Justice (1971) he argues that self-respect (which he sometimes calls “self-esteem” is a “primary good,” something that rational beings want whatever else they want, because it is vital both to the experienced quality of individual lives and to the ability to carry out or achieve whatever projects or aims an individual might have. It is, moreover, a social good, one that individuals are able to acquire only under certain social and political conditions. Rawls defines self-respect as including “a person’s sense of his own value, his secure conviction that his conception of the good, his plan of life, is worth carrying out,” and it implies “a confidence in one’s ability, so far as it is within one’s power, to fulfill one’s intentions” (Rawls 1971, 440). He argues that individuals’ access to self-respect is to a large degree a function of how the basic institutional structure of a society defines and distributes the social bases of self-respect, which include the messages about the relative worth of citizens that are conveyed in the structure and functioning of institutions, the distribution of fundamental political rights and civil liberties, access to the resources individuals need to pursue their plans of life, the availability of diverse associations and communities within which individuals can seek affirmation of their worth and their plans of life from others, and the norms governing public interaction among citizens. Since self-respect is vital to individual well-being, Rawls argues that justice requires that social institutions and policies be designed to support and not undermine self-respect. Rawls argues that the principles of justice as fairness are superior to utilitarian principles insofar as they better affirm and promote self-respect for all citizens.

Rawls’s view that the ability of individuals to respect themselves is heavily dependent on their social and political circumstances has been echoed by a number of theorists working in moral, social, and political philosophy. For example, Margalit (1996) argues that a decent society is one whose institutions do not humiliate people, that is, give people good reason to consider their self-respect to be injured (but see Bird 2010). Honneth’s theory of social criticism (1995) focuses on the way people’s self-respect and self-identity necessarily depend on the recognition of others and so are vulnerable to being misrecognized or ignored both by social institutions and in interpersonal interactions. Some theorists have used the concept of self-respect to examine the oppression of women, people of color, gays and lesbians, and other groups that are marginalized, stigmatized, or exploited by the dominant culture, identifying the plethora of ways in which oppressive institutions, images, and actions can do damage to the self-respect of members of these groups. Other writers discuss ways that individuals and groups might preserve or restore self-respect in the face of injustice or oppression, and the ways in which the development of self-respect in individuals living under oppression or injustice empowers them to participate in the monumental struggles for justice and liberation (for example, Babbitt 2000, 1993; Bartky 1990a, 1990b, 1990c; Basevich 2022; Boxill 1992, 1976; Boxill and Boxill 2015; Collins 1990; Dillon 2021, 1997, 1995; Diller 2001; Hay 2013, 2011; Holberg 2017; Ikuenobe 2004; Khader 2021; Meyers 1989, 1986; Mohr 1992, 1988; Moody-Adams 1992–93; Seglow 2016; Statman 2002; Thomas 2001b, 1983a, 1978–79; Weber 2016). Some theorists, especially those working within a feminist framework, have argued that the prevailing conceptions of self-respect in Kantian theory or in contemporary liberal societies themselves contain features that reflect objectionable aspects of the dominating culture, and they have attempted to reconceive self-respect in ways that are more conducive to empowerment and emancipation (for example, Borgwald 2012, Dillon 1992c).

In moral philosophy, theorists have also focused on connections between self-respect and various virtues and vices, such as self-trust (Borgwald 2012; Govier 1993), justice (Bloomfield 2011), honesty (Mauri 2011), benevolence (Andrew 2011), humility (Dillon 2020, 2015; Grenberg 2010), self-forgiveness (Dillon 2001; Holmgren 1998; Novitz 1998), self-improvement (Johnson 2011), general immorality (Bagnoli 2009; Bloomfield 2008), and arrogance (Dillon 2022, 2021, 2015, 2007, 2003).

Everyday discourse and practices insist that respect and self-respect are personally, socially, politically, and morally important, and philosophical discussions of the concepts bear this out. Their roles in our lives as individuals, as people living in complex relations with other people and surrounded by a plethora of other beings and things on which our attitudes and actions have tremendous effects, cannot, as these discussions reveal, be taken lightly. The discussions thus far shed light on the nature and significance of the various forms of respect and self-respect and their positions in a nexus of profoundly important but philosophically challenging and contestable concepts. These discussions also reveal that more work remains to be done in clarifying these attitudes and their places among and implications for our concepts and our lives.

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• Yanal, R.J., 1987, “Self-Esteem,” Noûs , 21: 363–379.

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English Phrases Decoded: Respect Is Earned, Not Given

Cynthia spring.

• Language & Communication
• April 30, 2021

Aside from the idioms we try to decode on Typing Adventure, we know that some phrases and sayings on the English language (whether they come from British or American English origins) can also be confusing. So, to help people unfamiliar with certain phrases or are non-native English speakers, we’ve also expanded our decoding articles to phrases and sayings that aren’t necessarily idioms.

To recap, idiomatic expressions are proverbs or even phrases that require context to understand. Taken literally, they may not make so much sense, but in some cases, the idiom is used very often that plenty of people fluent in English don’t realize they’re saying an idiom. This could be a problem for people who aren’t fluent that hear and don’t understand these expressions, so we’ve made it our mission to try to explain what they mean and why.

But even when some phrases or expressions don’t even require idioms to be said, there’s still the problem of understanding what it means. Take, for this article, the saying “respect is earned, not given.” Respect is a universal concept: be kind and courteous to others. But some people may not understand the difference between respect that is earned and respect that is given, as respect for certain kinds of people may vary according to different cultures.

Decoding “Respect Is Earned, Not Given”

For all intents and purposes, I’ll assume that this saying is American, not British. Not only does this fit more with America’s assertive culture over the UK’s well-mannered stereotype, all instances of its use point to an American setting.

Its origin is unknown, though it may have come from the media. One source points towards the character Harvey Specter from the TV show Suits. Specter puts one of his clients, Logan Sanders, in his place by establishing the rules of his practice.

Some photos on the internet point the saying towards the film The Godfather and claim that it is Don Corleone who created the term. However, apart from a few memes using his photo and the said quote, there’s no part of the film where Corleone says this line.

Either way, both Suits and The Godfather are American films, so it’s safe to say that the idea is more American than British.

What Does “Respect Is Earned, Not Given” Mean?

“Respect is earned, not given” suggests that if you want to be respected, you cannot force people to respect you just because you want them to. People who adhere to this saying recognize that not everyone is born equal and they aren’t obliged to love or respect anyone just because they exist. To earn their respect, you need to prove that you are worth their time.

In a school setting, it means being able to keep up with everyone else and not relying on others to do your work for you. In the office, it means being a competent co-worker who can show that they don’t have to kiss anyone’s butt just to get ahead. Even in a prison, it means knowing how to handle different types of people without disrespecting anyone. “Earning” one’s respect isn’t always something you can prove in a physical sense, but when it is, it means proving that you are capable of being on the same foot as everyone else.

At the same time, you aren’t obliged to respect someone if you feel they don’t deserve it. If you think people need to earn your respect, you aren’t automatically going to respect someone unless you know something about them that’s worth revering. It means you aren’t going to respect an older person because they’re older than you (and it’s customary in many cultures to respect the elderly), a higher-ranking person in the office (especially if they’re not even competent at their job), or a neighbor (if they prove to be a bad neighbor).

And since you don’t respect these people, you are unlikely to feel remorse or guilt when you don’t treat them the way they feel you should be treating them. If an elderly person in a bus is rude to another passenger, you don’t have to politely tell him to stop. You can be as rude as you want because he clearly is someone who does not deserve your respect.

Should You Make People Earn Respect?

You’ll find that plenty of people adhere to this belief that respect is earned. These are usually people in the US who are aggressive, no-nonsense people who value their time. But at the same time, there are also people think respect is not earned, but given regardless of the circumstances.

Let’s imagine that you’re walking down a street and you see a stranger in need of help. They’re trying to enter a shop, but their hands are full and they cannot free either hand to open the door. No one else is around, and the only solution is to open the door for them.

If you strongly believe respect is earned, then since this person is a stranger and has yet to do anything to earn your respect, then this person does not have your respect, then. As such, you will feel that you aren’t obliged to do anything even if they ask for your help and you will walk away without helping at all and not feel guilt for it.

But if you’re the type of person who believes everyone should be respected without having to earn it, you would open the door for them because you know they need help and it only takes a few seconds to do the respectable thing.

A Different Perspective on Respect

However, there is also a third option to look at things, and it’s not always looking at respect as black and white. You could still be a person who believes respect is earned while still be a person who opens doors for random strangers. You know that respect needs to be earned, but you aren’t going to be a rude person to people you don’t know.

What a lot of people get wrong is that respect does not always equate to kindness , politeness, or courtesy. It does sometimes, like when you respect the wishes of a person to remain private about some things about their life. But it’s also possible to be kind without having to respect a person. If you see a person in need of help, you can be polite and do the courteous thing, but it’s something that will never cross your mind again. The person will thank you for it, but a simple kindness like this does not need to be a big deal.

At the same time, your show of respect can be towards other people in your life. You can choose to respect your co-workers, superiors, and the people who are a constant part of your life. Admittedly, there are just some people in your life who don’t deserve to be revered because they aren’t worthy of the awe. You can still choose to be polite to them in everyday conversation, but when it comes down to the big decisions, if you don’t respect a person, it will be difficult to follow their idea if it clashes with yours.

How to Earn Respect from Others

Regardless of whether you are a student, a teenager, a new member of your company or team or an entrepreneur starting out in the industry, you can be well-respected by other people. Here are some suggestions to help you earn more respect:

Listen Well

Look at listening as an active, not passive, process. Listen actively by taking your thoughts and opinions out of your mind, and take the time to hear what the other person is trying to communicate. Having effective listening skills will make others around you feel validated and important.

Avoid Making Excuses

You base your actions on your choices. If you mess up, own your actions and avoid constantly passing the blame to others. If you wrote a misspelled statement on your e-mail, such as typing  bare with me instead of bear with me , it’s probably because you didn’t allot time to proofread your content before hitting the send button.

When you make mistakes, own up to them. Rather than dwell on them, learn from these mishaps, look for opportunities to move past them and make a firm commitment to doing better.

Refrain from Badmouthing Others

Badmouthing people, whether in a social or professional setting, is completely inappropriate. You definitely won’t earn respect this way. If you’re unhappy with the actions or behavior or a certain individual, don’t talk behind their back. Instead, talk to them in private, bring up the issue and work things out. If the person is a  social loafer , for instance, talk to the individual privately and be transparent and honest about the problem.

Be Open to Change

Stubbornness won’t get you anywhere. You have to realize that change is necessary to grow as a person. This means re-evaluating your negative behaviors, trying new activities and learning new skills . Also, remember to pat yourself on the back on the progress you’ve made along the way to becoming a better person.

Whether you choose to be aggressive in general or polite to everyone, many people are either going to be kind and show respect to all, or only to a select few they have deemed worthy. What’s your take on respect?

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101 Respect Quotes And Powerful Sayings About Respect

Respect, find out what it means to me.

• Lindsey Matthews

Written on Nov 19, 2020

Respect is something that everyone deserves but not everyone receives. If you’re struggling to gain respect from others, check out these 101 respect quotes and powerful sayings to turn you in the right direction.

Try asking yourself if the people you are not receiving respect from are even worth keeping in your life. If the answer is no, let them go and find people who value you.

Pay close attention to the way you treat yourself as well. One of the most common reasons people lack respect is because they have none for themselves .

These quotes inspire you to respect others, and most importantly, to respect yourself .

RELATED:  Why Mutual Respect Is So Important In Relationships — And What It Really Means To Be Respectful

1. “Life is too short to waste your time on people who don’t respect, appreciate, and value you.” — Roy T. Bennett

2. “respect yourself and others will respect you.” — confucius, 3. “men are respectable only as they respect.” — ralph waldo emerson.

4. “Respect is a two-way street, if you want to get it, you’ve got to give it.” — R.G. Risch

5. “if we lose love and self-respect for each other, this is how we finally die.” — maya angelou, 6. “i firmly believe that respect is a lot more important, and a lot greater, than popularity.” — julius erving, 7. “if you have some respect for people as they are, you can be more effective in helping them to become better than they are.” — john w. gardner, 8. “tolerance only for those who agree with you is no tolerance at all.” — ray davis.

9. “One of the sincerest forms of respect is actually listening to what another has to say.” — Bryant H. McGill

10. “i’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me, all i ask is that you respect me as a human being.” — jackie robinson, 11. “treat people the way you want to be treated. talk to people the way you want to be talked to. respect is earned, not given.” — hussein nishah, 12. “he who loves others is constantly loved by them. he who respects others is constantly respected by them.” — mencius, 13. “how people treat you is their karma. how you react is yours.” — wayne w. dyer, 14. “respecting someone indicates the quality of your personality.” — mohammad sakhi.

15. “There is no respect for others without humility in one’s self.” — Henri Amiel

16. “i cannot conceive of a greater loss than the loss of one’s self-respect.” — mahatma gandhi, 17. “to get down to the quick of it, respect motivates me, not success.” — hugh jackman, 18. “if you want to be respected by others, the great thing is to respect yourself. only by that, only by self-respect will you compel others to respect you.” — fyodor dostoyevsky, 19. “it is the way one treats his inferiors more than the way he treats his equals which reveals one’s real character.” — charles bayard mitchell, 20. “respect is one of life’s greatest treasures. i mean, what does it all add up to if you don’t have that.” — marilyn monroe, 21. “it takes no compromising to give people their rights. it takes no money to respect an individual. it takes no survey to remove repressions.” — harvey milk, 22. “we don’t need to share the same opinion as others, but we need to be respectful.” — taylor swift.

23. “A person’s a person, no matter how small.” — Dr. Seuss

24. “respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners.” — laurence sterne, 25. “we should all consider each other as human beings, and we should respect each other.” — malala yousafzai.

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26. “Have a big enough heart to love unconditionally, and a broad enough mind to embrace the differences that make each of us unique.” — D. B. Harrop

27. “most good relationships are built on mutual trust and respect.” — mona sutphen, 28. “respect is one of the greatest expressions of love.” — miguel angel ruiz.

29. “Let every man be respected as an individual and no man idolized.” — Albert Einstein

30. “without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts” — confucius, 31. “respect commands itself and it can neither be given nor withheld when it is due.” — eldridge cleaver, 32. “respect begins with this attitude: i acknowledge that you are a creature of extreme worth.” — gary chapman, 33. “the only true disability is the inability to accept and respect differences.” — comic strip mama, 34. “respect depends on reciprocity.” — nyang proverb, 35. “deal with yourself as an individual worthy of respect and make everyone else deal with you the same way.” — nikki giovanni, 36. “mutual respect is the foundation of genuine harmony.” — dalai lama.

37. “The only way to teach respect is to model it.” — Todd Whitaker

38. “to be one, to be united is a great thing. but to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.” — bono, 39. “respect a man, he will do the more.” — james howell, 40. “never take a person’s dignity, it is worth everything to them, and nothing to you.” — frank barron, 41. “you will never gain anyone’s approval by begging for it. when you stand confident in your own worth, respect follows.” — mandy hale, 42. “respect comes in two unchangeable steps: giving it and receiving it.” — edmond mbiaka, 43. “if a person loves you but doesn’t respect you then it cannot be real love. it is not possible to love them without respecting them.” — amit kalantri, 44. “in the end, those who demean others only disrespect themselves.” — d.b. harrop.

45. “When I look at a person, I see a person — not a rank, not a class, not a title.” — Criss Jami

46. “the idea of respect is more than just being polite.” — bruce glassman, 47. “respect means recognizing that all people are entitled to basic human dignity.” — bruce glassman, 48. “we do not earn respect. it is given as a gift. what we do with it is up to us.” — tod whitaker, 49. “true friends will respect one another’s viewpoints without letting differences in opinion affect the relationship.” — robert arp.

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50. “Self-respect is the cornerstone of all virtue.” — John Herschel

51. “if i lose my honor, i lose myself.” — shakespeare, 52. “our own heart, and not other men’s opinion forms our true honor.” — samuel taylor coleridge, 53. “respect is the appreciation of the separateness of the other person, of the ways in which he or she is unique.” — annie gottlieb, 54. “they cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them.” — mahatma gandhi, 55. “respect is for those who deserve it, not for those who demand it.” — paulo coelho.

56. “A man who pays respect to the great paves the way for his own greatness.” — African Proverb

57. “make improvements, not excuses. seek respect, not attention.” — roy t. bennett, 58. “when you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.” — lao tzu, 59. “you can’t respect yourself if you’re afraid to be who you are.” — amber heard, 60. “as we grow as unique persons, we learn to respect the uniqueness of others.” — robert schuller, 61. “if you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.” — michael bassey johnson, 62. “he that respects himself is safe from others, he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce.” — henry wadsworth longfellow, 63. “if you live what you believe you will always have the respect of others.” — dale murphy.

64. “I don’t wait for people to give me respect, I always give them respect.” — Mariano Rivera

65. “with me, what you see is what you get. i try to treat everyone with respect.” — dustin johnson, 66. “respect for another man’s opinion is worthy. it is the realization that any opinion is valuable, for it is the sign of a rational being.” — sargent shriver, 67. “the only thing i command is respect.” — kyrie irving, 68. “respecting people is an important part of life, whether it’s the person doing janitorial work or the person above you. it doesn’t matter who you are: i’m going to respect you.” — andy reid, 69. “i just feel like if i do good work, then people should respect me for the work i do.” — scott cann, 70. “respect other people regardless of the level they are at or the level you are at. when you hand out respect you get it back.” — erik estrada.

71. “Women absolutely deserve respect.” — Aretha Franklin

72. “i think the way to keep a friendship is to respect that everybody is different.” — emma bunton, 73. “respect is the word i want. you have to earn it. you give, and you get it in return, that’s how i see it.” — joe torre.

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74. “My one thing is respect. I don’t care about anything else. You should respect everyone around you — the people who work for you, peers. Be classy. — Charli XCX

75. “your peers will respect you for your integrity and character, not your possessions.” — david robinson, 76. “self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.” — abraham joshua heschel, 77. “show respect even to people who don’t deserve it; not as a reflection of their character, but as a reflection of yours.” — dave willis , 78. “respect has nothing to do with who is right and who is wrong. it has to do with allowing space for someone else’s opinion.” — jackie viramontez, 79. “the key is to learn respect and honor the complications of other people’s lives.” — goldie hawn.

80. “Respect everyone, even your enemies and competition.” — John Cena

81. “the biggest ingredient in a best friend is someone whose actions you respect and who you can truly be yourself around.” — renee olstead, 82. “if you don’t stand for something, how can anyone respect what you do.” — miranda lambert, 83. “show respect to all people but grovel to none.” — tecumseh, 84. “we all require and want respect, man or woman, black or white. it’s our basic human right.” — aretha franklin, 85. “treat everyone with respect and kindness. period. no exceptions.” — kiana tom, 86. “respect for the rights of others means peace.” — benito juarez, 87. “all sides must learn to respect each other.” — reuven rivlin, 88. “when we respect everyone around us, we are in peace with everybody around us.” — don miguel ruiz, 89. “i believe no matter who you are, respect yourself, respect others.” — mo farah, 90. “i always have tried to treat people with respect, the way i want to be treated.” — derek jeter, 91. “respect is what we owe, love, what we give.” — phillip james bailey, 92. “he who wants a rose, must respect the thorn.” — persian proverb.

93. “Respect is how to treat everyone.” — Richard Branson

94. “tolerance implies a respect for another person, not because he is wrong or even because he is right, but because he is a human.” — john cogley, 95. “respect is one of the most important things you can teach a child.” — catherine pulsifer, 96. “awe and respect are two different things.” — oliver reed, 97. “respect for the truth comes close to being the basis of all morality.” — frank herbert, 98. “life is short, we should respect every moment of it.” — orhan pamuk, 99. “only those who respect the personality of others can be of real use to them.” — albert schweitzer, 100. “this is the final test of a gentleman: his respect for those who can be of no possible service to him.” — william lyon phelps, 101. "respect your efforts, respect yourself. self-respect leads to self-discipline. when you have both firmly under your belt, that's real power." — clint eastwood, 102. “i speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.” — albert einstein.

RELATED:  4 Hurtful Signs Your Friend Doesn't Respect You

Lindsey Matthews is a writer who covers love and relationships, news, and pop-culture topics.

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• Relationships

By Paula Thompson

By Paula Thompson • October 29, 2023

7 Reasons Why Respect is Earned, Not Given is Up for Debate!

We've all heard it before, that adage that's been used so often it has practically become a societal mantra: "respect is earned, not given." But have you ever stopped to dissect what that actually means? After all, words are not just words; they shape our perspectives and drive our actions. So, let's peel back the layers of this intriguing, albeit controversial, saying.

In its most basic form, "respect is earned, not given" suggests that genuine respect should be something one earns through deeds and character, rather than something one receives automatically. It's a creed often invoked to promote accountability and personal growth. However, the phrase is often met with both fervent agreement and dissent, making it a fertile ground for discussion.

Imagine you're at a new job. You're a bundle of nerves but also eager to impress. Your new boss walks in, and you instantly stand up, partly out of respect and partly out of obligation. Is that real respect or conditioned behavior? That's what we're here to unpack.

Over the next several sections, we'll delve deep into the complexities of respect from various angles: authority, workplace dynamics, relationships, and even social media. You'll be surprised how many facets this single phrase can have.

We've even brought in some heavy hitters—think psychologists and researchers—to shed light on this complex issue. So buckle up, because what you're about to read may challenge your preconceived notions!

This article is optimized to give you a comprehensive understanding of why "respect is earned, not given" is a phrase worth dissecting. Whether you swear by it or swear at it, we've got something for everyone.

The Controversial Nature of the Statement

Before we dive into the different dimensions of respect, let's talk about why "respect is earned, not given" is such a polarizing statement. On one hand, it is a call for personal responsibility, urging people to act in ways that garner respect from others. This perspective aligns well with meritocratic values that emphasize the role of individual effort in earning rewards.

However, the flip side is where it gets tricky. This phrase could also imply that unless someone proves their worth, they don't deserve respect—a slippery slope leading to judgment and discrimination. The onus, in this interpretation, shifts unfairly onto the individual to 'earn' basic human decency, which should ideally be a given.

Moreover, what "earns" respect can be incredibly subjective and vary from person to person. For some, respect is automatically given until a person does something to lose it. For others, it starts at zero and must be earned incrementally. So, who's right?

Even the word 'respect' can mean different things to different people. In some cases, it may mean admiration or reverence, while in others, it may simply mean treating others with kindness and dignity. This nebulous definition further adds to the controversy surrounding the phrase.

Given the many interpretations and implications of the phrase, it's worth a deep dive. As we explore the topic, keep an open mind. We'll consider the good, the bad, and the ugly to give you a well-rounded perspective.

So, are you ready to challenge your beliefs, or perhaps fortify them with new insights? Either way, let's plunge into this complex web and untangle the intricate facets of why "respect is earned, not given" is far from a one-size-fits-all statement.

1. The Role of Authority: When Respect is Assumed

Now, let's begin by examining the role authority plays in the notion that "respect is earned, not given." In settings like the military, law enforcement, or even academic institutions, respect for authority figures is often not just assumed but demanded. The reasoning here is that the position itself, rather than the individual occupying it, warrants respect.

But here's the conundrum: Is respect for a title genuine respect for the person? Often, this type of respect is not based on a person's character or actions but on societal norms that dictate we must respect the position. It's like a pre-loaded respect card that comes with the title. Does that make it any less valid?

Certainly, the societal structure would crumble without some level of assumed respect for authority figures. Yet, the question remains, is this the kind of respect that enriches our lives and promotes a healthier society? Or is it merely a mechanism for maintaining order?

Here's where it gets even more complex. Authority figures can abuse this automatically accorded respect to wield power unfairly. So, while some level of initial respect may be necessary, a continuous evaluation should be in place. In other words, even if respect is initially given due to a role, maintaining that respect should depend on the individual's actions.

Contrary to the idea that "respect is earned, not given," the authority paradigm almost operates on a model where respect is lost, not earned. It starts high and can either be maintained or diminish based on behavior.

So in the realm of authority, the "respect is earned, not given" paradigm doesn't always apply, illustrating the first crack in this blanket statement. While the role might automatically confer respect, it's the individual's behavior that determines whether that respect is sustained.

2. The Workplace Dynamic: Professionalism vs. Authentic Respect

Moving from the broad societal view to the microcosm of the workplace, let's examine how the "respect is earned, not given" philosophy applies here. Workplaces often adopt a protocol of mutual respect as part of their corporate culture. But let's be honest, that's often more a form of professional courtesy than genuine, deep-seated respect.

Why does this matter? Because this facade can sometimes blur the lines between authentic respect and mere politeness. While courtesy in the workplace is essential, it shouldn't be mistaken for the kind of respect that one earns through integrity, skill, and compassion. The two are not interchangeable.

What complicates this further is the hierarchy that exists within most work environments. Higher-ups command a level of respect purely by virtue of their position, similar to authority figures in broader society. But is this always deserved? You might respect your boss because they sign your paycheck, but that doesn't necessarily mean you agree with their management style or decision-making.

It's here that the principle of "respect is earned, not given" finds its footing. In a workspace, you may have to earn your colleagues' respect by showcasing your skills, reliability, and team spirit. You can't just waltz in on your first day expecting people to hold you in high esteem.

Moreover, a leader who earns respect rather than demanding it is more likely to foster a positive, productive work environment. Leadership studies corroborate this by indicating that a leader's effectiveness is closely tied to the respect they earn from their team.

So while professional courtesy is a given, genuine respect in the workplace aligns more closely with the "respect is earned, not given" principle. It requires ongoing effort, integrity, and a willingness to collaborate.

3. Social Media: The Illusion of Quick-Fire Respect

As we step into the whirlwind world of social media, the notion of "respect is earned, not given" takes another interesting twist. Social platforms give people a chance to broadcast their lives, thoughts, and achievements to a wide audience. And guess what? A huge following or viral post can feel like instant respect or admiration.

However, let's pump the brakes here. The likes, shares, and followers can create an illusion of respect that is both shallow and transient. Do people really respect you, or do they just find your content entertaining or thought-provoking for a fleeting moment?

The anonymity and detachment provided by social media platforms often result in a distorted understanding of respect. Someone might respect your opinion on a subject but also troll you on another matter five minutes later. It's respect with a small ‘r,' driven by the whims of public opinion and algorithms, rather than meaningful interaction.

Studies have shown that social media metrics like likes and followers don't equate to genuine respect or influence in the real world. Remember, respect is a complex emotion cultivated over time and through various shared experiences. Social media rarely offers such depth, reducing respect to a surface-level sentiment.

So, can you really earn respect on social media? Possibly, but it would require more than just posting popular content. It would need a consistent demonstration of character, knowledge, and empathy—attributes that are hard to convey in 280 characters or a series of images.

This all serves to illustrate that the instant gratification of 'respect' on social media is a far cry from the earned respect spoken of in our controversial phrase. If anything, social media highlights the superficiality that can come with misunderstood or misapplied notions of respect.

4. In Relationships: The Balance Between Love and Respect

In personal relationships, whether friendships or romantic partnerships, the maxim "respect is earned, not given" also holds a special significance. One could argue that love should naturally encompass respect, but the two are not always one and the same.

Think about it: You may love someone dearly, but do you always respect their choices? Love often blinds us to the faults of the other person, leading us to compromise or overlook behaviors that, under other circumstances, would demand our utmost scrutiny.

That's why, in relationships, it becomes crucial to separate the threads of love and respect and evaluate them individually. You may love someone unconditionally but still have boundaries and standards that need respecting. The dynamic between love and respect is like a delicate dance, requiring finesse to maintain balance.

Experts in relationship psychology often stress the importance of mutual respect as a cornerstone for a healthy relationship. Love might be the spark that ignites a relationship, but respect is the fuel that keeps it going. Without respect, love can dwindle into a toxic cycle of emotional dependency and manipulation.

So yes, while you may give love freely, respect in a relationship should align with the principle that "respect is earned, not given." Both parties should continually strive to earn respect through kindness, understanding, and loyalty.

After all, a relationship founded on earned respect is likely to be more resilient and fulfilling. It provides a stable ground upon which love can flourish, without the hindrance of doubt or resentment. So, while love may initiate the journey, it is earned respect that navigates it to a fulfilling destination.

5. The Generational Gap: Changing Views on Respect

Let's take a moment to discuss how generational perspectives can affect our understanding of the phrase "respect is earned, not given." Older generations often lean towards a more traditional view where respect is, to some extent, automatically accorded based on age or experience. It's the classic 'respect your elders' mantra we've all heard.

Younger generations, on the other hand, tend to question these traditional norms. Raised in an era of rapid social change and individual empowerment, they are more inclined to believe that respect must be earned, regardless of age or social standing.

Now, neither of these perspectives is universally right or wrong. They're shaped by different social constructs, historical contexts, and life experiences. However, the clash between these viewpoints can lead to tension and misunderstandings, especially in multi-generational settings like the family or workplace.

What's interesting is that research shows generational attitudes toward respect can have a tangible impact on societal dynamics, including politics, social policies, and even consumer behavior. Understanding these generational nuances is essential for effective communication and mutual respect.

For instance, businesses nowadays must consider these differing attitudes to effectively market their products or build a cohesive work environment. By being aware of these generational differences, we can bridge the gap and foster a culture where respect is both given and earned in balanced measures.

So, the generational lens adds another layer of complexity to the concept of "respect is earned, not given," reminding us that respect is not a one-size-fits-all proposition.

6. Cultural Differences: How the World Sees Respect

If generational attitudes weren't complex enough, let's throw in cultural perspectives to the mix. Different cultures around the world have their own unique interpretations of respect, shaped by history, religion, and social norms.

In some Eastern cultures, for example, respect for elders is deeply ingrained and is almost seen as a moral obligation. The assumption here is somewhat contrary to the "respect is earned, not given" motto. Rather, the older you are, the more respect you automatically command .

Western cultures, on the other hand, often place a higher emphasis on individualism and meritocracy. In these societies, the notion that "respect is earned, not given" is more readily embraced. You prove your worth through your actions, not your age or social standing.

Even within these broad categories, there are nuances. For instance, some cultures emphasize respect for community and collective wellbeing over individual accomplishments. In such environments, you earn respect by how well you support the community rather than just personal achievements.

The implications are vast. If you find yourself in a culturally diverse environment, being aware of these different perspectives on respect can be a game-changer. It can affect everything from your social interactions to your professional relationships.

So, the cultural tapestry adds yet another intricate pattern to the complex fabric of respect. It serves as a reminder that the concept of "respect is earned, not given" can be vastly different depending on where you are in the world, both literally and metaphorically.

7. Time Factor: Why Respect is a Long-Term Investment

If you've ever heard the phrase, "Rome wasn't built in a day," you'll understand why earning respect is often a long-term investment. Whether in relationships, at work, or in community settings, respect takes time to cultivate. Instant gratification doesn't apply here.

So why is time such a critical element in earning respect? For one, it allows people to observe consistency in your actions, integrity in your decisions, and authenticity in your interactions. Snap judgments rarely give a well-rounded view of a person's character.

Moreover, time provides the space for growth and improvement. Even if you make a mistake or falter in some way, consistent effort over time can rebuild and strengthen the respect others have for you. Time is the soil in which the seed of respect, once sown, can take root and grow.

It's also essential to remember that the time factor works both ways. Just as you are working to earn others' respect, you must allow them the time to earn yours. Rushing to judgments or expecting immediate validation can set the stage for disappointment and conflict.

Let's get real—nobody is perfect. And so, giving time for respect to flourish allows for human imperfections. It helps build a more authentic, empathetic environment where people can be themselves without the constant fear of judgment.

So when we talk about "respect is earned, not given," it's crucial to factor in the dimension of time. It's a process, not an event. Your patience and consistent efforts compound over time, yielding the rich dividends of mutual respect and understanding.

Expert Opinions: What Psychologists and Researchers Say

It's not just armchair philosophy; experts in psychology and social sciences have dived deep into the mechanics of respect. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned researcher in relationship psychology, emphasizes that respect and admiration are the two most critical elements for a long-lasting relationship. And guess what? They have to be earned!

Furthermore, a 2017 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology explored how perceptions of respect and self-worth significantly impacted job satisfaction and general well-being. Employees who felt they had to earn respect reported higher levels of work satisfaction compared to those who felt respect was a given.

Research in social dynamics also illuminates how mutual respect is a vital component for societal cohesion. One study found that communities with higher levels of earned respect tend to have lower crime rates and better public engagement. It creates a positive feedback loop, where earned respect contributes to community well-being, which in turn fosters more respect.

So, the science backs it up—earning respect has tangible benefits for both individuals and communities. The act of earning respect isn't just a moral virtue but a societal necessity.

It also aligns with the cognitive-behavioral theory, which postulates that our behaviors affect how we are perceived and treated by others. Earning respect is not just a state of being but a dynamic process that involves ongoing actions and adjustments.

Whether you look at academic research, psychological theories, or empirical data, the consensus among experts is clear. The notion that "respect is earned, not given" is more than a catchphrase; it's a principle backed by substantial evidence and expert opinion.

The Real Life Implications: Stories that Make You Think

We've talked theories, we've analyzed concepts, but let's get down to the nitty-gritty—real-life implications of the mantra "respect is earned, not given." Stories have a way of illuminating complex ideas, making them relatable and easily digestible.

Consider the tale of a young entrepreneur who launched a startup straight out of college. Initially, he struggled to gain the respect of industry veterans and stakeholders. But instead of demanding it, he earned it through years of hard work, innovation, and ethical business practices. Today, he's a thought leader in his field, commanding the respect he once yearned for.

Or take the story of a social activist who fought for gender equality in a conservative community. Instead of merely voicing her opinions, she led by example—organizing community programs, educating the youth, and challenging traditional norms. With time, even her staunchest critics couldn't help but respect her dedication and the positive changes she instigated.

Such stories are more than just inspirational anecdotes. They serve as living proof that respect can be earned through actions, not just words. They reveal the transformative power of earned respect, capable of altering opinions, changing lives, and even reshaping entire communities.

In today's digital age, where stories can quickly go viral, these narratives serve as a compelling reminder of the values we hold dear. They remind us that respect isn't just an abstract concept, but a concrete, tangible attribute that we can all strive to earn and give.

Remember, these stories aren't exceptions; they can be the rule if we embrace the concept that respect is a two-way street. Let these real-life accounts inspire you to question your own understanding of respect and challenge you to earn it, not just expect it.

Why It Matters: The Importance of Earning Respect

So, we've dissected the idea that "respect is earned, not given" from various angles, but why does it matter in the grand scheme of things? Let's start with the obvious—our mental well-being. When you know you've earned someone's respect, it positively affects your self-esteem and self-worth. You feel valued, heard, and understood.

But the benefits don't just stop at the individual level. When people within a community, whether it's a family, a workplace, or a social group, make a concerted effort to earn each other's respect, the entire dynamic shifts for the better. Communication flows more freely, disagreements are resolved more amicably, and overall happiness indexes rise.

Let's not forget about societal benefits. Earning respect, as opposed to assuming it should be handed out freely, creates a meritocracy where the most dedicated, ethical, and competent individuals rise to positions of influence. This is not just beneficial but essential for the functioning of a healthy society.

Moreover, the act of earning respect encourages self-improvement and personal growth. When you know you have to work for respect, you're motivated to be the best version of yourself. You strive to improve, not just for your benefit, but also as a way to honor the respect others have invested in you.

Perhaps, most importantly, the idea of earning respect fosters a culture of accountability. It serves as a check against arrogance, entitlement, and abuse of power. When respect is not assumed but has to be earned, everyone is held to a higher standard of behavior and ethics.

So when you ponder why it matters, remember this: the concept that "respect is earned, not given" acts as the bedrock for individual happiness, social cohesion, and societal advancement. Underestimating its importance is not just an oversight but a detriment to our collective well-being.

Conclusion: Rethinking the 'Respect is Earned, Not Given' Mantra

As we wrap up, it's important to reflect on the journey we've undertaken to understand the multi-dimensional mantra that "respect is earned, not given." It's not just a catchy phrase to be thrown around lightly; it's a foundational principle that informs how we navigate our relationships, workplaces, and communities.

We've also seen how experts in psychology and social sciences have weighed in, providing a scientific underpinning to this age-old wisdom. Whether in the context of intimate relationships or societal dynamics, the necessity to earn respect is corroborated by research and expert opinion.

The stories and real-life implications we discussed further humanize the concept, bringing it down from the theoretical to the tangible. We've seen that earning respect can transform lives, reshape communities, and build bridges where there were once walls.

So, the next time you hear or use the phrase, "respect is earned, not given," do so with a full understanding of its weight and importance. It's a mantra that calls for action, for introspection, and for a continuous commitment to being better—both for ourselves and for those around us.

Let's take this wisdom to heart and make it an active part of our daily lives. We have nothing to lose but much to gain—greater self-esteem, more harmonious relationships, and a better society. Earning respect is not a one-time act but a lifelong pursuit, and it's never too late to start.

The argument for why respect must be earned rather than assumed or given freely is compelling, backed by both scientific evidence and everyday experience. It's high time we all internalize this mantra, not just as a rule for others to follow, but as a personal guideline for how we conduct ourselves in all aspects of life.

Recommended Reading

• "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by Dr. John Gottman - An excellent resource for understanding the role of respect and admiration in relationships.
• "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie - A classic book that delves into the psychology of respect and human relations.
• "Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us" by Daniel H. Pink - Offers insights into the importance of autonomy, mastery, and purpose, all of which are closely linked to earning respect.
• social norms

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Communicating With Your Team To Earn Their Respect

Respect, it is said, is earned and not given. For many of us, being respected as a leader or colleague is hard-won and, in the early stages of a professional relationship, it can seem like a bit of an uphill struggle. Whether you are taking on a new management role or need to improve your authority with existing staff, making small changes to the way you communicate with your team can reap great rewards. 

A quick survey of online articles listing the traits of poor leaders shows that most articles are in agreement. Whether it’s a lack of transparency, an inability to listen, or a lack of empathy, there’s no doubt that when there’s a leadership problem, there’s almost always a communication problem at the root. In turn it’s clear there is a consensus: effective communication is at the heart of strong leadership.

Here, we’ve shared 4 tips to help you on your journey to be an amazing workplace communicator and earn the respect of your team. 

1. Communicate with confidence

It’s all very well being the resident genius, but if you can’t get your point across properly or clearly, then your smarts don’t count for anything. Your insecurity over your inability to communicate can also be a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you think you’re boring or that you’re a poor communicator, that’s what you’re going to project to your team and colleagues. This is a sure-fire way for them to switch off and makes it much harder to gain the respect you seek. Your first task is to acknowledge this and accept that you have the power to think differently - starting now.

Communication is all about building connections, so if you feel that people switch off when you’re talking or don’t listen to what you’re saying, then you need to work on building rapport with your colleagues. Key to this is being able to communicate with confidence. Sure, there are some people who are naturally gifted when it comes to conversing with others. But just like so many business competences, it’s a skill that can be learned and improved. Here are some simple and effective ways to make sure you get your message across and sound more interesting.

• Prepare what you’re going to say in advance whenever possible. If it's for a meeting or presentation, focus on 4-5 key points that you want to impart to your listeners. Write them down, so you’re clear on the message you want to convey. This can be the difference between waffling or giving far too much information so that you bore everyone to death, and speaking clearly and succinctly, amazing your team with your new-found focus. If you can’t prepare or it’s the spur of the moment conversations that floor you, work on some of the tips below to give you time to think and ensure you’re looking less like a rabbit caught in the headlights and more like the leader you aspire to be. 
• Word power – Give emphasis and energy to the words you deem important. You can do this by using pauses, elongating vowels and structuring your words so that the impact is at the end of each sentence. We use the analogy of a vocal landscape – if you have a monotone voice and speak without pauses or varying up your tone of voice, it’s the equivalent of your listeners looking at a grey, dull landscape. You’ll bore your team and their attention will stray. If you use emphasis, pauses, inflection and tone, you will sound more interesting and your listeners will have less work to do to build up the picture or landscape in their head. You can vary the speed at which you talk, but make sure it's a pace that allows your team to consider what you're saying and keep up with you. Also make sure your voice is firm, clear and full of energy. Not energy that flies everywhere, but contained, dynamic and focused energy.
• Your nonverbal behaviour. Just as what you say is important, so are your nonverbal cues. Your facial expressions and the gestures you use can convey your passion and really make your team sit up and take notice. Have a positive, open posture rather than hunching yourself up and you’ll not only appear more confident, but you may also feel more confident. This will help you to speak as the authority on a subject. Take a moment after an important point to connect with your audience so that they feel that you are really talking to them and that you care what they think.

2. Be direct - don't beat around the bush

Again, if you don’t have confidence in yourself or your communication skills, you could be sabotaging your authority just by the way you delegate or give tasks to your team. This isn’t unusual. Many of us pose questions instead of making direct requests. Or we skirt around an uncomfortable request, trying to dress it up with niceties, and inadvertently put in the vagueness and opportunities to say no that actually assist people in getting out of it . Questions or euphemisms can seem less confrontational and make us feel more comfortable. However, not only does this sort of question-come-instruction make you seem less authoritative and assertive, it can be disempowering for your team, too.

You: “Harminder, I know are you very busy at the moment - do you have any spare time to put together a deck for our presentation on Monday? ”

The example above is kind and friendly, but it is presenting a ‘get out’ within the request. All Harminder has to say is "sorry no, I don't have any spare time" and that's it. The ‘kind’ boss might as well have said ‘ I have no expectation that you will do this for me!’

If we rephrased the example above as a statement, followed by a much clearer and more dynamic question, we’d likely see a very different result:

You: “Harminder, I need a deck for our presentation on Monday. Would you put it together for me, please.”

The first, framed in the negative, provides Harminder with her excuse, and invites an inevitable negative response. The second, phrased as a statement, followed by a direct question, leaves less room for this, and will show you to be direct and succinct, two traits that are highly respected in leaders.

A statement also conveys the right tone – that you need this piece of work to be done. Make sure your voice goes down at the end of the sentence – even if it’s a question. This is what we call downward inflection or vocal gravity, rather than going up (as it does generally when you ask a question).

Also, be specific in your requests. Asking a question after the initial statement, for example, “Can you do this?” can be very powerful. If they nod or say yes, they’ve committed to it, so are more likely to actually complete it. If they say no, you can follow up with a question of when they can do it or ask why they can’t. If it’s a case of priorities, these may be able to be rearranged.

Lastly, get into the habit of confirming your requests in writing. That way there’s no room for confusion – and it makes sure everyone is clear on the overall objective and when the work needs to be completed by.

3. Focus on being a leader, not a friend

This point follows on from the last: being a good leader is not the same as trying to be a good friend. The people you manage do not need you to be their friend, they want you to give them clear direction. Read our tips on how to unlock your team's potential .

Behave like you are the manager, allowing this to be reflected in your body language and tone. Believe in what you say, and hold yourself with a sense of poise and be confident in your position of authority. Don’t allow your shoulders to slump, keep them back, but relaxed. Keep your head straight. Create and maintain eye contact, don’t talk with your eyes cast down. If your posture is open and at ease, you will project confidence.

Don’t be apologetic. The word ‘sorry’ is sorely overused, and it sends the message that you don’t have authority in the situation. Only apologise for your actions or for the impact they have on someone’s feelings – not because you’re asking them to do a piece of work.

4. Be a great listener

While you don’t need to be their friend, it is important in the long term that you connect with the people you’re working with. This will help them to trust you as a person and as their leader. One important way to build connection is through being prepared to listen and empathise .

Everyone has a voice, and it is important that your team feel that you acknowledge and respect their voice, ideas and opinions. There are two types of bad leader: the one who can’t make a decision and asks everyone else for their opinion, and the one who bulldozes in with their own opinion and refuses to let anyone else have a say. The bulldozing leader clearly has a listening issue, and as such they may find their team are disengaged, as when someone feels their voice doesn’t matter, they start to switch off or emotionally remove themselves from the situation.

You can counter this by taking time to consciously and actively listen to your team . Make whoever you are speaking to feel important – not by giving compliments, but by listening with genuine interest.

If you feel that you are not a great listener, try to have some slots in a day or week which are set aside for listening. At the beginning or the end of a team meeting, for example. Make sure you show your team when you are engaged and actively listening. Little things like open body language, eye contact and head nods can go a long way to making someone talking feel like you want them to speak. It’s easy to do this, and can be a powerful way of making your team feel heard and understood. This in turn will help build that mutual trust and respect between you.

In conclusion

Take one of these tools and try and work at it for a week or so. This isn’t about completely transforming your communication overnight. But small iterative changes will change the way you respond to your team and, in turn, how they respond to you.  Bit by bit, you’ll notice, almost imperceptibly, that there is a different level of respect functioning at all levels of your team. Good luck!

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How To Earn Respect and Increase Your Influence For God

by Paul Chapman | Dec 12, 2020 | manhood , Ministry , Relationships , Stewardship , Teaching | 2 comments

Everyone wants to be respected, but few know the formula to achieve it. Respect is earned, not given. Learn the Bible way to earn respect and increase your influence for God by being a good steward of your testimony.

1 Timothy 4:12–16 12 Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity. 13 Till I come, give attendance to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. 14 Neglect not the gift that is in thee, which was given thee by prophecy, with the laying on of the hands of the presbytery. 15 Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them; that thy profiting may appear to all. 16 Take heed unto thyself, and unto the doctrine; continue in them: for in doing this thou shalt both save thyself, and them that hear thee.

Young people tend to believe that respect and responsibility come with age. This statement is not valid. Respect and responsibility are earned.

Youth complains, “You don’t trust me.” Wisdom replies, “What have you done to earn it?”

By being faithful in that which is least, we show that people can trust us with that which is great.

God had called Timothy to the Gospel ministry. He was the protege’ of the great Apostle Paul, but he was young. Would people follow his leadership? Would they respect him enough to listen? Through the Spirit’s inspiration, Paul taught Timothy how to overcome the liabilities of youth and earn respect. 

Although this passage of Scripture was penned for a young man, the lessons it contains are vital for every adult. Furthermore, due to the breakdown of society, many adults have never grasped the truths that should be learned at a young age.  

It is a God-given desire within us all to crave respect. Every man, woman, and child yearns to be admired and appreciated. Yet, with so few teaching the right way to gain respect, many people go about trying to obtain it in the wrong way.

Consider these foolish ways to gain respect. 

Some people demand respect. The boss who belittles you while declaring his authority. The undisciplined parent who reminds a child of their position constantly while acting like a child themselves. The brutish husband who makes demands with a harsh or raised voice while not fulfilling his own obligations. The violent gang-banger who puts a gun in your face needs “respect” more than money.  

All of these people seek respect by domination. They demand respect “or else.”

Some people seek respect through deception. Rather than becoming a better person, they will feign to be one. Instead of really being a friend, they will play the part to get some temporary respect. Instead of making sacrifices to become spiritual, they play a role in public.

These actors manipulate circumstances and people to their own ends.  

3. Denounce.

Rather than deal with the pain of not getting respect or investing the work to become respectable, some people renounce the desire for respect. They pretend that it doesn’t matter what their parents, peers, or authorities think. They will go their own way and do their own thing no matter what anyone thinks. 

At times, they purposefully act un-respectable and hurt themselves so that no one else can cause them pain.  

Who do you know that acts in these ways? How do you respond to them? Do their actions make you well up inside with respect for them? Of course, not.

The Bible gives us a formula of how to earn respect despite our age. Let’s meditate upon what the Apostle Paul taught Timothy and learn how to earn respect.

Let (allow) no man despise thee…

Don’t give people a reason to look down on you.

Usually, respect comes with time and experience. Our text verse reminds us that God can use anyone who becomes what they should be.

 I began pastoring when I was 27 years old. Occasionally, an older person in our community would ask, “Are you old enough to be a pastor?” I would reply, “I guess so. They are letting me do it.” Then I would lean in and whisper with a smile, “If I’m not old enough, don’t tell anybody.” Usually, they would smile.

There are already so many obstacles to Christian leadership. We mustn’t complicate our testimony with prideful wants or youthful mistakes.

My father-in-law once told me jokingly that people would respect me more as a preacher once I had gray hair. Now that I have some gray hair, I know that he was right.

The good news is that you don’t have to wait to be older to earn respect and make a difference in the world. You can earn respect and acquire responsibility at any age.

The Example of David

David began his journey to greatness when he was a teenager. You don’t need to wait until you are a certain age or attain a specific station until you earn respect. You can begin at any age.

Because of his exploits, David was more respected as a young man more than most older men.

1 Samuel 18:7  And the women answered  one another  as they played, and said, Saul hath slain his thousands, And David his ten thousands.

David increased in favor with God and man continually.

1 Samuel 18:30  Then the princes of the Philistines went forth: and it came to pass, after they went forth,  that  David behaved himself more wisely than all the servants of Saul; so that his name was much set by.

David purposed in his heart to live wisely. As a result, he was not hindered by his age or experience.  

Psalm 101:2 I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. O when wilt thou come unto me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart.

If you choose to live in God’s wisdom, you live far beyond your years as you access the experience of God Himself.

You can act in a way that generates respect regardless of age or experience.   Not only do you gain respect through wise choices, but God can increase your influence for His work.

“but be thou an example of the believer”

This means “become a pattern.” How do we become a pattern of the believer? Examine your situation. Think about how a mature, respectable, honorable person who loves God would behave. Strive to become that person.

Seek God’s help and empowerment. Decide to put on the new man that was born in us at salvation. Choose to live according to God’s Word in the Power of the Holy Spirit instead of floundering in our flesh.

Colossians 3:10  And have put on the new  man , which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:

What does the example of a believer look like? It looks like Jesus. You can also ask yourself this question. Ask “What would Jesus Do?” The ultimate goal of the Christian life is to be like Jesus. 

Consider the question, “How would the best Christian in the world act?” Do that. 

If those seem out of reach, choose a good Christian that you admire and ask what they would do.

As you become the example, you create a pattern for others to follow. This visible transformation earns respect and influence, regardless of your age and experience.

You can act in a way that generates respect regardless of age or experience.

The opposite is also true.  

You can behave in a way that causes people to lose respect for you.  

Do you know anyone that should be respected but is not? What words or actions cause people to disrespect them?

In our text verses, God gives us six areas to strive for excellence so we can earn the respect of those around us, increase our influence, and make a difference for eternity.

We must strive to be an example of the believer in how we speak. We communicate with each other most often by speaking. If we get that wrong, we can lose our testimony quickly.

Our words are the window to our hearts. They breathe life into people or steal life from them. Our speech gives grace that builds people up or offer poison that tears people down.

Your words are a window into your heart.

Luke 6:45  A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.

That which you talk about tells people what you think about. Your words reveal the wickedness or righteousness that lies within.

Take great care in how you speak.

Colossians 4:6  Let your speech  be  alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

Our words should be with grace. Speak of grace. Make the doctrines of God and His work in the lives of men a common theme in your speech. Also, speak gracefully. Grace sweetens our speech and makes it pleasant to others. The ungodly speak of sins with rough words and unpleasant tones. Christian speech should be refined and charming. 

Proverbs 18:21  Death and life  are  in the power of the tongue: And they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.

Do your words lift people or bring them down? Do you give life with your tongue, or do you kill and destroy?

Make it a lifelong practice to bring the tongue under the control of the Holy Spirit.

Here are some practical tips to earn respect through your words:

• Use kind words and graceful speech.
• Be aware of your tone.
• Never use curse words.
• Don’t use questionable language.
• Don’t use too much slang.
• Listen more than you talk.
• Give your opinion sparingly. Unheeded advice is seldom heeded and often resented.
• Talk about the Bible.
• Talk about God and godly things.
• Ask yourself what Jesus would say? Say that.

2. Conversation

This is an old English word that means “behavior.” It speaks of your manner of life.  

Your actions speak louder than your words. Make sure your actions are saying what you want to communicate.  

James 3:13  Who  is  a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.

Your action can display meekness and wisdom or pride and foolishness. A wise man is known by his words and his works.

Proverbs 20:11  Even a child is known by his doings, Whether his work  be  pure, and whether  it be  right.

Is your manner of life pure? Do you endeavor to live a righteous life? People can tell immediately.  

God doesn’t expect you to live a perfect life, but He does expect you to be sincere in your effort to do so.

Do you behave like a Christian? Can someone deduce you belong to God by your lifestyle? 

1 Peter 2:12  Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles: that, whereas they speak against you as evildoers, they may by  your  good works, which they shall behold, glorify God in the day of visitation.

Our conversation should be honest and genuine. Our actions should match our beliefs. Live what you say you believe, and God can use your good works to glorify Himself.  

People respect those who do what is right. In like manner, we have contempt for the weak and sinful.

Conversation includes appearance too. Don’t be worldly, trendy, or overly focused on your appearance, but make wise choices that generate respect.  

Here are some practical tips to earn respect through your actions:  

• Do the right thing.
• Work harder than expected.
• Be on time and ready to go for whatever task is at hand.
• Beware of your body language. Know what you are saying.
• Control your countenance. Know what you are communicating.
• Represent humble confidence.
• Be willing to help.
• Dress appropriately.
• Be clean. Shave and comb your hair. Groom your beard if you have one.
• Smell good.
• Brush your teeth.
• Don’t bite your fingernails.
• Practice good posture.
• Dress a little above what is required.
• Ask, “What would Jesus Do?”

Charity speaks of God’s love.  

Love is the decision to affectionately and unconditionally commit yourself to the needs of another at your expense without thought of return. God’s love is different than all other loves. Agape’ love is not an emotion. It is a commitment. Love is more than a feeling. It is a deep commitment to sacrifice for the benefit of the loved. God loves us, and He teaches us to love others with this divine love.

Charity builds people up.

1 Corinthians 8:1  Now as touching things offered unto idols, we know that we all have knowledge. Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth. 

Love is a language that everyone understands. Strive to love people until they know it. 

1 Timothy 1:5 Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart, and  of  a good conscience, and  of  faith unfeigned:

Our Lord Jesus condensed every commandment into two that involve love.

Matthew 22:37–40  Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second  is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.

Make loving people a priority in your life. Love people eagerly and faithfully.

1 Peter 4:8  And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.

Love focuses on the worth of its object rather than its imperfections.  

Here are some practical tips to earn respect through love:

• Accept people where they are.
• Encourage them to be more than they are or even think they can be.
• Spread God’s message of love.
• Tell people of your love and appreciation.
• Be quick to forgive.
• Never hold a grudge.
• See the good in people.
• Write notes of love and gratitude.
• Pick people up when they are down.
• Believe in people. They will love you for it.
• Love difficult people.
• Be generous with love and praise.

In the Bible, this word with a little “s” usually speaks of man’s spirit. Often, it means attitude.  

Your attitude speaks volumes to those around you. Attitude is the nonverbal speech of the soul. Proverbs has a lot to say about our spirit or attitude. It can be humble or proud; faithful or broken; hasty or calm.

Jesus had an excellent spirit. Daniel had one too. In fact, most of the spiritual people we admire have a godly and excellent spirit. 

Proverbs 17:27   He that hath knowledge spareth his words:  And  a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit.

How would people describe your spirit? Why not ask God to give you an excellent spirit and strive to exhibit one each day?

Some people are out of control. Rather than control their attitude, they allow their attitude to control them. They are a slave to their thoughts, feelings, and circumstances.  

Proverbs 25:28   He that  hath  no rule over his own spirit  Is like  a city  that is  broken down,  and  without walls.

A man without control of his attitude is like an unprotected city in a dangerous area. He is asking for trouble!

Daniel was promoted and preferred because he had an excellent spirit. The same will be true for you.

Daniel 6:3   Then this Daniel was preferred above the presidents and princes, because an excellent spirit  was  in him; and the king thought to set him over the whole realm.

Here are some practical tips to earn respect through a good attitude:

• Refuse to have a bad attitude.
• Use your words. Don’t pout or withdraw.
• Don’t lose your temper. Anger is ugly
• Learn to smile often.
• Greet others warmly.
• Look people in the eye.
• Choose to rejoice despite your circumstances.
• Make someone’s day brighter.
• Embody humble confidence. People are drawn to it.
• Seek and destroy any element of pride. Pride is ugly.
• Treat people with respect.
• Don’t make excuses.
• Take responsibility for failures and share the praise for victory.
• Say “I’m sorry” when you are wrong.
• Express gratitude.
• Be merciful.
• Inspire people to be more.

Pray about your attitude every day. Ask God to give you the mind of Christ and an excellent spirit.

Faith is the measure of your personal confidence in God. It is trust in Who God is and reliance upon what He said in His Word without verification by sight or experience. Faith moves God’s hand, makes the unseen a reality and gives us access to the eternal.

Believers respect faith. We are admonished to be not faithless but believing. Trust God in every situation. Let others see the calm assurance and confident action that can only be born in faith. With God’s help, we should strive to display an unshakeable faith !

Christian leaders were chosen out of those who showed tangible faith.

Acts 6:5   And the saying pleased the whole multitude: and they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Ghost, and Philip, and Prochorus, and Nicanor, and Timon, and Parmenas, and Nicolas a proselyte of Antioch:

Acts 11:24   For he was a good man, and full of the Holy Ghost and of faith: and much people was added unto the Lord.

The word “faith” in our text verse can also mean “conviction.”

Is your faith in God a passing fancy, or are you committed to Him? Do you believe in Christ, go to church, or live a Christian life because your parents do, or have you personally committed to Jesus Christ as YOUR Lord?

Do you live your life based on what others have told you, or do you know what the Bible says for yourself?

Everyone has convictions. They are things that you believe with all your heart and will suffer to keep them. Anyone with Bible convictions earns respect from their friends and even their enemies.

Here are some practical tips to earn respect through Faith:

• Obey God openly.
• Explain your faith.
• Witness to the lost and seek to win souls.
• Tell others of your confidence in God.
• Know what you believe and why you believe it.
• Exhort others in the faith.
• Don’t be a doubter.
• Encourage other Christians to believe in God.
• Confess your faith in Christ publically.
• Give public testimonies.
• Hold to your convictions when it is difficult.
• Live by faith, not by sight.

Purity is of great value. Multitudes are defiled with immorality and fleshly lusts. You stand out from the crowd when you are pure.

God is holy. Christ was pure. Reject the filthiness of the world and flesh.

God wants you to be pure in mind, heart, and body. Sexual desire is a natural part of God’s plan. However, sex outside of marriage is a sin. Satan works to destroy purity and virtue. Purity is still important to God! If you are unmarried, save yourself for your future spouse . If you have already committed fornication, ask God for forgiveness now, and decide to honor God until you are married starting now.

Married couples are not immune to the devices of satan. How many marriages are rocked by infidelity? How many married people struggle with pornography? How many families have been shattered by adultery? Being married doesn’t make you immune to sinful seduction and lustful desires. Married people must still resolve to have pure hearts and minds.

Some sins have more pull when you are younger. Beware of them and conquer them through Christ.

2 Timothy 2:22   Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

Treat women with the utmost respect. They are someone’s daughter, not the object of your lust.

1 Timothy 5:2   The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.

Acknowledge that premarital sex of all forms is sin.

1 Thessalonians 4:3–7   3 For this is the will of God,  even  your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: 4 That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; 5 Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: 6 That no  man  go beyond and defraud his brother in  any  matter: because that the Lord  is  the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified. 7 For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.

To avoid fornication, Abstain from physical contact with the opposite gender before you are married.

1 Corinthians 7:1   Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me:  It is  good for a man not to touch a woman.

Endeavor to have a pure heart before God. Don’t entertain sinful thoughts or lustful fantasies. Eventually, thoughts turn into actions.

Matthew 5:8   Blessed  are  the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

Here are some practical tips to earn respect through Purity:

• Seek and destroy every instance of impurity in your heart and mind.
• Look at a woman’s face, not her body.
• Keep your hands to yourself.  
• Don’t stir up the flesh by watching or listening to impure entertainment.
• Reject so-called friends who are encouraging immorality.
• Don’t entertain sinful fantasies.
• Treat every girl as a sister or a mother.
• Treat every boy as a brother or a father.
• Save yourself for your spouse. No sex until marriage.
• Set up protections in your life.
• Live by Biblical standards to protect you on your worst days.
• Have an accountability partner.
• Confess your sins regularly.
• Remove from your life the people, places, and things that tempt you or give you an opportunity to sin.

You can act in a way that generates respect regardless of age or experience. Also, you can behave in a way that causes people to lose respect for you. The choice is yours.

Strive for excellence in these six areas to earn the respect of those around you, increase your influence, and make a difference for eternity.

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Excellent article Pastor. Thank you for writing this.

Praise God! Thanks for reading.

Respect is Earned, Not Given Quotes

Respect is not an entitlement, but a privilege earned through actions.

The true test of character is how one earns respect, not demands it.

Respect cannot be demanded, it can only be earned.

Actions speak louder than words when it comes to earning respect.

Respect is a reflection of one’s character, not their status.

Respect is a currency earned through integrity and kindness.

Those who demand respect often lack the qualities that earn it.

The path to respect begins with self-reflection and personal growth.

Respect is the reward for treating others with dignity and kindness.

Respect is not something to be taken, but to be earned through compassion and understanding.

The greatest leaders are those who earn respect through humility and service.

Respect is not a right, but a privilege earned through hard work and determination.

Respect is not given to those who ask for it, but to those who deserve it.

Respect is earned through consistency and authenticity.

True respect is earned by demonstrating respect to others.

Respect is the byproduct of treating others with fairness and kindness.

Respect cannot be demanded, it must be earned through trust and loyalty.

Respect is not a prize to be won, but an accomplishment to be earned.

Respect is earned by showing respect for oneself and others.

The value of respect increases when it is earned, not expected.

Respect is the result of actions that align with one’s values and principles.

Respect is earned through honesty, authenticity, and integrity.

Respect is not given to those who demand it, but to those who earn it through their actions.

The path to earning respect is paved with empathy and understanding.

Respect is not a handout, but a product of hard work and dedication.

Respect is a privilege reserved for those who earn it, not those who demand it.

Respect is not a right, but a reflection of one’s character.

Respect is earned through consistent and genuine acts of kindness.

Respect is not given to those who believe they are entitled to it, but to those who prove they are deserving of it.

Respect is not a possession to be taken, but an achievement to be earned.

Respect is a reflection of one’s values and actions, not their position or title.

Respect is a two-way street that must be earned through mutual respect and understanding.

Respect is not measured by the number of followers, but by the impact one makes on others.

Respect is a privilege that must be earned through humility and selflessness.

Respect cannot be bought or demanded, but only earned through genuine acts of kindness.

The key to earning respect is treating others with respect, regardless of their status or background.

Respect is not something that can be bestowed upon oneself, but recognized and earned from others.

Respect is a reflection of one’s character, not their possessions or accomplishments.

True respect comes from understanding and empathy, not from power and authority.

Respect is not a destination, but a journey of self-improvement and personal growth.

Respect is a privilege earned through honesty, accountability, and transparency.

Respect is a currency that can only be earned through consistent acts of integrity and kindness.

Respect is not given to those who demand it, but to those who earn it through their actions and words.

Respect is a lifelong pursuit that requires consistent effort and self-reflection.

Respect is not a title to be claimed, but a reputation to be earned.

Respect is not a prize to be won, but an opportunity to be earned through hard work and dedication.

Respect is not a commodity to be bought, but a virtue to be earned through empathy and understanding.

Respect is a reflection of one’s character, not their achievements or possessions.

Respect is a badge of honor that can only be earned through consistent acts of kindness and compassion.

Respect is earned through actions that promote inclusivity and equality, not through words or gestures.

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How to give and get respect in negotiations.

Posted June 7, 2022 | Reviewed by Hara Estroff Marano

• Respect—giving and getting—is an important factor in negotiations and produces best outcomes.
• Too often children and the elderly are not accorded the respect they deserve.
• Seeing negotiation as competition limits possibilities for good outcomes.

Respect is an important element of negotiation. It’s important to give respect—and to earn it.

At the outset, it is worth noting that the word "respect" is often misused, as in having "grudging respect" for someone. Grudging respect is usually fear -based at its core. When people comply, obey, or demur out of fear, that is not actually respect, and it is definitely not a healthy basis for negotiations in a relationship (whether personal or professional). When people try to exert power over another (as opposed to power with another), even when successful, there is no earned respect and, therefore, no strong foundation for effective negotiation or superior outcomes.

Having said that, it is possible to respect someone’s achievements without liking how they got there. It is also possible to respect someone’s achievements and the process and still not like the person.

Respect is recognizing someone else’s humanity or personhood. It is seeking to listen to and understand the other person. It is ensuring one does not see other people as mere means to an end. Many think this is tricky in negotiation, but such a view likely stems from a win-lose, zero-sum approach to negotiation as opposed to a collaborative, principled, and integrative approach.

A fixed-mindset approach to negotiations can interfere with the ability to bring the requisite level of respect to the table and so interfere with one’s ability to get better buy-in and better outcomes. People often take such an approach based on widely accepted conditioning and myths about negotiation. These myths include the idea that negotiation is a competition , that successful negotiations are all about toughness ,and that one ought never cede any ground. None of these myths hold any truth.

Self-protection is another key source of interference in one’s ability to give (and so receive) respect in negotiation relationships. When operating from self-protective mode as opposed to self- leadership , people are less able to present the best version of themselves and show respect to other party.

There are many scenarios in which people struggle with respecting the other party in a negotiation, whether consciously or unconsciously. It is worth exploring some to raise one’s intentionality about incorporating respect as a foundation in all one’s negotiations.

Dealing with Children

In negotiating with children, many people do not truly listen or seek to understand and meet the needs of the child. Many do not drop all distractions, give undivided attention , or listen without interrupting or interjecting opinions, suggestions, or interpretations.

Many people tend to exert power over children rather than seek to establish power with them. Adults tend to assume they know best. Such a lack of respect can make children feel unvalued, unimportant, or "less than’". It also interferes with the ability to come to mutually superior solutions. Perhaps most important, if not giving respect, one is not likely to earn authentic respect. It is important to be intentional about bringing respect to all discussions when negotiating in relationships with children.

This approach becomes even more challenging as children transition into adulthood. For parents, letting go can be difficult. When there is resistance to that, many fail to give the much-needed respect to ensure self-esteem and ability to grow in healthy ways (in their relationship with parents and beyond).

Fears, hopes, and dreams drive the urge to interfere, overwhelm, and smother when what's needed is a pause, a deep breath, and a perspective shift. When a child’s viewpoint is valued and respected, there is more likely to be reciprocal respect.

Dealing with the Elderly

The challenges of transition as kids grow into adults are echoed in dealing with elderly people. Many tend to drop the ball in negotiating a relationship with aging parents (or other seniors) as well. This often stems from fear. It can be difficult to see once seemingly all-knowing and powerful parents decline, and many people respond by imposing personal views. After a lifetime of contribution, respect is deserved.

Dealing with Coworkers

In the workplace, as coworkers grow, develop, and transition to next levels, it can be difficult to accommodate such changes. Many continue to treat former subordinates as underlings and, in so doing, disrespect them and damage the relationship in the process.

Dealing with Mental Health Issues

It is important to consider how much respect is due to people with mental health issues. Too often,, a dismissive, disrespectful approach is often taken in such situations. It is important to give respect and trust, attend to verbal and nonverbal communication , and be intentional about understanding the issue(s) from the other person’s perspective. It is important not to try to "help" by exerting power over them.

In any negotiation, whether personal or professional, it is important to remember to give respect, and it will be reciprocated. In so doing, better outcomes can be achieved with corresponding better relationships and buy-in.

Cindy Watson, B.A., LLB, JD, is the founder of Women On Purpose and creator of Art of Feminine Negotiation programs. She’s an international speaker, award-winning author, master negotiator, and world-class empowerment coach/consultant.

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What Does the Bible Say about Respect, and Do Christians Require It?

God has much to say about how He’d like us to treat one another. Most of us would say (along with Aretha Franklin) that we’d like to be treated with respect.  But what does the Bible say about respect ? Is that part of God’s plan for us?

Our modern definition of respect is essentially to either admire another person or to have regard for their feelings, wishes, and rights as they are due as a human being. So, there are people we respect because they’ve done something or lived in such a way that we believe they are worthy of special honor and attention. But, on some level, many modern cultures (not all) have also adopted the idea that all humans are worthy of a certain baseline of dignity, protection, provision, and acknowledgment. This is, in fact, a very biblical concept.

We know God merits our respect to a degree above every human, so we say that we owe Him all reverence, honor, and glory. When our attitude toward any other humans tempts us to worship or idolize them, that is out of balance.

However, we also know that God created humanity in His image—male and female. Each person bears the very image of God and is a unique creation worth everyone else’s acknowledgment as worthy of respect because each of us is God’s idea.

God expresses His high value on humanity early in the Bible when He states this strong warning to Noah in Genesis 9:5 ESV, “ And for your lifeblood I will require a reckoning: from every beast I will require it and from man. From his fellow man I will require a reckoning for the life of man.”

This idea is captured in the New Testament by Jesus in what we call “The Golden Rule” found in Matthew 7:12 ESV “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”

This is the minimal perspective we should take toward all people. That each is God’s creation and so, deserves to be treated as we would like to be treated. Without an understanding of an intelligent Creator to whom we are accountable, what basis would we have to insist on respect toward one another? Instead, we might find ourselves devaluing human life and measuring worth by culturally derived measures.

So, the minimum we are called to do is treat others as we would like to be treated. Still, for the believer, God calls us beyond the minimum and even sometimes to lay down our lives for others, respecting their needs as greater than ours.

What Is Respect according to the Bible?

In the Bible, the concept of respect is expressed through a variety of Hebrew and Greek words. In 1 Peter 2:17 NIV , the apostle commands us to “ Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.” Here, the word translated respect is timao. Other versions translate this as honor . This is the same word used in the New Testament in verses about  honoring our father and mother as well as admonitions to honor widows and honor kings. This type of respect is about acknowledging people based on their relationship to us, their position in society, or their situation in life.

Romans 12 is a wonderful treatise on respect, and it begins with cultivating minds that respect others. Paul exhorts us to make our lives a living sacrifice and to not conform to the way of thinking of the world. He tells us to have humble or sober thinking about ourselves and to imagine that we are all part of one body with other believers (the Body of Christ). Just as we respect our eyes, ears, arms, and legs, we should also respect other Christians. We depend on them, and they rely on us so it’s vital that we treat them with respect.

Paul then goes on to explain what that respect looks like lived out—in great detail, in fact. We should cling to what is good and love with sincerity. Honor others above ourselves. Rejoice with others. Mourn with them. Seek harmony with all that we can. We should not be arrogant or consider ourselves better than anyone else and we should not seek our own revenge but leave that to God.

I don’t know about you, but I would like to spend lots of time with people who acted that way. In the great love chapter in 1 Corinthians 13 , Paul tells us that love is not rude and doesn’t insist on its own way. The opposite of being rude to others is demonstrating respect—whether we agree or disagree.

This is an important topic for Paul as he also explores it also in Romans 14 and 15. He tells Christians how to treat one another when we have sincere disagreements over how to live. In Romans 15:7 , he tells us that when we accept one another, even when we disagree, we bring praise to God. That doesn’t mean we yield to deception or to inerrant theology (in fact, Paul tells us not to let what we hold true be spoken of as evil). But we disagree with order and respect.

So God calls us to acknowledge that each person is created by Him, in His image, and merits respect simply by being human. He further calls believers to demonstrate His character and our faith in Him by going beyond this and offering respect to others even in the way we disagree.

What Does the Bible Say about Disrespect?

In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV, we learn that love lived out looks a lot like respect with its opposite – disrespect or dishonor – being the opposite of love. “ Love is patient , love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

To disrespect others is to disrespect those God created. To disrespect fellow believers is to dishonor another part of the same body. To disrespect unbelievers is to be unloving and we are called to love that people may see Jesus alive in us.

Disrespect is one mark of those who reject Jesus . In the parable of the vineyard, Jesus talks about the owner of a vineyard who allowed some tenants to work his land. When the harvest comes, the owner sends a steward to collect his share of the fruit, but the tenants beat and kill not only that steward but all others the owner sends!

Jesus continues the story this way, “Last of all, he sent his son to them. ‘They will respect my son,’ he said.   But when the tenants saw the son, they said to each other, ‘This is the heir. Come, let’s kill him and take his inheritance.’ So they took him and threw him out of the vineyard and killed him. Therefore, when the owner of the vineyard comes, what will he do to those tenants? ‘He will bring those wretches to a wretched end,’ they replied, ‘and he will rent the vineyard to other tenants, who will give him his share of the crop at harvest time.’ Jesus said to them, ‘Have you never read in the Scriptures: ‘The stone the builders rejected has become the cornerstone; the Lord has done this, and it is marvelous in our eyes’?”

Of course, Jesus here is talking about Himself and His coming crucifixion. The tenants to whom the harvest was entrusted disrespect even the Son of the owner. This type of disrespect is a mark of those who have no respect for God or for other people.

Why Is Respect so Important in the Christian Community?

Reverence for God. Honor for others. Respect for all life as created by and belonging to God. These are not only marks of a believer, but they set Christians apart from others. They demonstrate to those who don’t know Jesus that we are a different kind of people because we serve a different God.

Respecting others demonstrates the value God places on life. Respecting others demonstrates the character of God in His humility, sacrificial love, and redemptive plan. Respecting others creates a community that is marked by harmony, service, and care for even the most vulnerable.

At the end of the day, we respect others out of our reverence for our God and this contributes powerfully to our testimony.

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• Speech on Respect

Speech on Respect in English for Students

Respect is a universal act of displaying admiration and love for another person. Respect also inculcates a positive feeling in something or someone who you consider important or hold in high regard. Respect is sometimes very closely related to the ego of a person which if disturbed can cause problems to the person not Respected well .Respect can be individualistic which is Respect for one’s own self that is self-Respect, and the other one being Respect for others. In this article on Speech on Respect, we will take a look at different ways to speak about Respect. It can be given as Long Speech on Respect, Short Speech on Respect or Short Speech on Self Respect.

Long and Short Speech on Respect for Students

Long speech on respect.

This form of Speech on Respect for Others is helpful for students in grades 8-12.

Good Morning everyone Respected the Principal, Teachers and my dear friends. I am here to speak about Respect. Since childhood, we hear from everybody about how it is important to show Respect to everyone in the family, grandparents, elders and teachers. Respect is basically a language that one expresses differently for every one they hold in high regard and feel Respectful towards. 

Respect is shown differently in different cultures. In our country, India we say Namaste with our hands folded and bow or touch the feet to show Respect when we greet each other. This cultural tradition is an ancient one and everyone around the world also has adopted this way because of the meaning and value it holds. 

Each and every individual is worthy of Respect regardless of their age, class, profession, color or gender. 

And the meaning of Namaste also conveys the same, which means we are equal, and I Respect you by bowing down. 

In the schools and colleges, we can also convey Respect by addressing our teachers as Sir and Ma’am instead of calling them by their first names. Whereas this form of addressing does not hold true for the corporate culture. In offices, it is encouraged to call each other by their first names to develop a healthy working relationship without any biasedness. 

So much Respect is shown by physical gestures but much more can be conveyed by body language. One can also be Respectful to their friends and loved ones, by giving them undivided attention when they are speaking, being helpful, not using harsh words, opening the door for the one behind you, being kind is also a sign of Respect. Apologizing for one’s mistakes, saying sorry, please, and thank you is also a sign of Respecting the other person as well as yourself. 

The other form of Respectful behavior also holds true as to how we behave with ourselves and that is called self-Respect. Self-Respect is basically leading your life with grace and dignity without hurting others in the journey. Self-Respect has nothing to do with humiliating others for fulfilling our own agendas. It means showing care towards self and others equally and living a fulfilling life.

In conclusion, I would like to say one need not be loud when being Respectful, these subtle gestures are enough to convey your admiration and love for the person. Respecting and honoring someone is truly a great sign of love; it makes the day positive. It also makes you feel better about yourself so choose your way of Respecting others and yourself and do not indulge in negativity.

Short Speech on Respect for Students

Short Speech on Respect can also be presented as Short Speech on Self Respect and this will be extremely useful for students in grades 4-7 that will help them learn about this topic in simple words.

Good morning everyone, I Abc (mention your name) feel very honored to speak on the topic of Respect which is something that is so important, universal and yet so personal. Respect is a sign language that conveys what you feel for the other person in a simple and positive way. There is a saying that goes, “treat others the way you wish to be treated”, and if you wish to be Respected it is important that you also treat others with equal Respect. 

When you admire someone and hold them in high esteem it is natural that you tend to be more Respectful towards them. Being Respectful to others and treating them in an equal manner also means being Respectful to yourself. As anyone who displays Respectful behavior imparts positivity in everyday life and this way of leading life is more peaceful and less complex. 

Respect can be displayed in many different ways depending on the relationship you have with the person you admire or the situation you are in. It is important to Respect everyone regardless of whether you disagree with them and have different opinions than them. 

Being Respectful doesn’t require a lot of effort, rather one needs to do it with just good intentions and value the presence of another person and acknowledge their view. And the world would be a much better place if we just accepted and Respected our differences.

Respect Speech 3 Minutes

This Speech is useful for students in grades 1-3 as they can understand and speak about the topic in 10 Simple Lines.

Respect is an emotion one feels for something or someone, that can also be a form of admiration.

Respect can be expressed and conveyed to people in different ways.

Everyone is worthy of Respect, regardless of our differences.

Conveying and showing Respect makes one feel honored and valued.

When people are treated with Respect their day becomes positive.

Respect shows sincerity towards others.

Self-Respect is the way of Respecting oneself and not compromising others.

Self-Respect and Respect are the two sides of the same coin.

Respect for all kinds shows your confidence, maturity and belief in yourself.

In a world with so many divisions, it is important to have Respect for one another to have healthier relationships.

Respecting and being Respected is an intangible wealth that one possesses. It is a coherent trait that is mostly the outcome of proper guidance and proper parenting. It is not only shown by mere physical actions but must also be evaluated at heart. Respect for others is very important for the individualistic growth of a person, it not only shows that the person is very modest and humble but also presents a very comprehensive and clear picture of his personality. The trait of Respecting is very admired on a professional and personal level. It helps in building healthy and consistent relations with our peers and friends. 

Respecting others and being others also affirms the stature of a person as a human in the society. It establishes the presence of intellect, modesty and decency in a person. It is always very loved and admired by others also, a person who Respects others is always Respected by others as well. When we Respect or disRespect others, we are reflecting the parenting and guidance that we have received from others and as such can be the cause of pride or prejudice to the Respect and dignity of our parents. Proper parenting and proper guidance is very important for the development of a great personality. Education also plays a very important role in our ability and understanding of Respect for others. However it is not necessary that only educated people will Respect others or an illiterate person will not Respect others. 

Respect is not based on the amount of money one has or on the position of power that one may hold. IrRespective of the social hierarchical position, Respect should be equal to everyone and doesn’t discriminate on the basis of social differences. Often doctors, politicians and rich people are seen to be Respected but the others with low wealth, no power and doing menial jobs equally deserve the same level of Respect. 

Humiliation and disRespect to a person on the basis of any distinctions is injustice. Not Respecting others may restrict the person from enjoying his fundamental rights and thus account for a violation of law. Our constitution also directs us to maintain the dignity of every individual and not violate the integrity and dignity of an individual. The constitution makes no discrimination in this regard and thus mandates that we Respect all people. The fundamental duties in our constitution also direct to maintain the Respect of ourselves and others and not to bias on any ground.As a citizen, it thus is our duty to Respect all people and make them feel equally safe and secure in their country. 

Most of the traditions and cultures around the world very precisely put forward the regards to Respect others and to seek Respect. The traditions also don’t discriminate on any ground here. The societal stigmas present in society may sometimes not be in line with our constitutional principles or traditional directions. There are certain societal dogmas like caste distinctions, wealth differences, age etc that come out to be derogatory and disRespectful to other people. These dogmas and beliefs, caste distinction  and wealth differences, age need to be put aside and minds should be enlightened that humans are equal. 

Age is also not a factor in deciding whether a person should be Respected or not, children also deserve to be Respected and appreciated. It falls upon the shoulders of their parents to make sure that they Respect their children and also make sure that others also don’t disRespect them. Wherever such an event comes up where the parents feel that their children are not Respected well, they must act accordingly and make sure their children don’t feel disRespected and insulted. Children are very vulnerable to negative effects and disRespecting them can have physical and mental effects on them.

People can be seen disRespecting other people in front of them or behind their backs, that is not Respect, that is hypocrisy. Respect for others should be deeply embedded in the hearts and minds. Be it for a sweeper or a cobbler, politician or a doctor, all deserve equal Respect as a human and no one deserves to be humiliated and disRespected. Not Respecting others may also have effects on the children of these people because they’ll feel as if they are someone at a lower level, of a lower kind or less human. This is not a proper direction to move in and may lead to severe consequences on these children. 

A person who Respects others is very much loved and cared for by all people. A Respectful person also becomes a role model for other people, especially for the students and hence we must strive to become better of ourselves and always be in the form to Respect others. 

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