hardship teaches life lessons essay

Essay on Hardship In Life

Students are often asked to write an essay on Hardship In Life in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Hardship In Life

Understanding hardship.

Hardship is a tough time or difficulty that we face in life. It can be a problem, loss, or failure. It’s a part of life that all people, young or old, have to face. It can be hard, but it’s not always bad. It helps us grow and become stronger.

Types of Hardships

There are many types of hardships. Some people may face problems with money, health, or family. Some may have to deal with loss or failure. Each hardship is different, but they all test our strength and patience.

Hardship and Growth

Hardship can make us stronger. When we face problems, we learn to solve them. We learn to be patient and to keep trying. This helps us grow and become better people. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

Dealing with Hardship

We can deal with hardship in many ways. We can talk to others, ask for help, or find ways to solve our problems. It’s important to stay positive and keep trying. Remember, every problem has a solution.

250 Words Essay on Hardship In Life

Hardship is a part of life that everyone experiences at some point. It’s like a tough test or a big problem that we need to solve. Hardship can make us feel sad, confused, or even angry. But, it’s important to remember that hardship can also help us grow and become stronger.

Types of Hardship

There are many types of hardship. Some people might face hardship in their family, like a sick relative. Others might face hardship at school, like a tough exam or bullying. Some people might even face hardship in their community, like poverty or violence. These hardships are not easy to handle, but they are a part of life.

Learning from Hardship

Even though hardship is tough, it can also teach us valuable lessons. It can teach us how to be brave, how to solve problems, and how to help others. For example, if we face a tough exam, we can learn how to study better. If we face bullying, we can learn how to stand up for ourselves. If we face poverty, we can learn how to work hard and save money.

Overcoming Hardship

Overcoming hardship is not easy, but it is possible. We can overcome hardship by asking for help, by working hard, and by staying positive. For example, if we are facing a tough exam, we can ask our teachers for help. If we are facing bullying, we can tell a trusted adult. If we are facing poverty, we can look for ways to earn and save money.

In conclusion, hardship is a tough part of life, but it can also help us grow and become stronger. So, next time you face hardship, remember that you are not alone and that you can overcome it.

500 Words Essay on Hardship In Life

There are many types of hardships that people face. Some people may have to work very hard to earn money for their family. This can be very hard because they may not have enough time to rest or do things they enjoy. Others may face hardships in school, like having trouble with their studies or not getting along with their classmates. Some people may also face hardships because of health problems. They may have to go to the hospital often or take medicine every day.

Dealing with Hardships

Even though hardships can be very tough, it is important to remember that they are not forever. There are many ways to deal with hardships. One way is to ask for help. If you are having trouble with your studies, you can ask your teacher for help. If you are having problems with your friends, you can talk to your parents or a trusted adult about it. It is also important to stay positive. Even though things may be hard now, they will get better.

Learning from Hardships

In conclusion, hardships are a part of life. They can be very tough, but they can also teach us many things. It is important to remember that hardships are not forever and that there are many ways to deal with them. So, if you are facing a hardship, remember to ask for help, stay positive, and learn from it.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

Happy studying!

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

• Published July 17, 2020
• 6 Minute Read

4 Unexpected Lessons Learned From Hardships & Adversity

Pain touches everyone. If you’re lucky, the toughest times in your life will be fleeting. But some hardships — including the global coronavirus pandemic and its aftermath — may linger for years, and continue to present new challenges for individuals and organizations.

Hardships aren’t asked for and aren’t usually welcomed. They’re not something you would plan into your development in the coming year. Yet, hardships are unavoidable.

The good news is, adversity can actually be a powerful teacher.

The Most Common Hardships From The Lessons of Experience

At CCL, we have a long history of studying the lessons learned from hardships and the way people learn them. The body of work — called The Lessons of Experience research — has been conducted over 5 decades across 40 countries. In the research, we’ve found that most hardships fall into 4 categories:

• Personal Trauma:  Often unexpected and shocking, personal trauma is generally an experience you can’t control, and that causes feelings of confusion or loss. This could be anything from the coronavirus pandemic to a death in the family to surviving a car crash.
• Discrimination & Injustice:  Whether it occurs in the workplace or another part of your life, experiencing discrimination or injustice is one of the most common hardships. This involves a wide range of subtle and overt, intentional and unintentional behavior and actions that can cause long-lasting negative consequences.
• Mistakes & Failures:  Such mistakes can be technical, professional, ethical, or strategic — for example, a product malfunction, a poor hiring decision, a loss of credibility, or a collapsed venture. It can often feel difficult to bounce back from these failures, especially if they’re larger in scale, tied to a deeper workplace culture or issue, or far-reaching in their impact.
• Career Setbacks:  Sometimes career setbacks are unavoidable or out of your control. It could be organization-wide layoffs, a freeze on hiring or promotions, a company reorganization, or a wide array of less severe but nonetheless significant events.

In most learning and development work, we follow the classic 70-20-10 rule , trying to find ways to provide people with challenging — or stretch — assignments, such as taking on a new role or difficult assignment. Sometimes called “ heat experiences ,” the majority of learning from these challenges comes from the success of meeting them.

Hardships are similar in that we learn from pushing through the challenge we face. By facing an initial lack of success with resilience, we can actually grow considerably more through reframing how we approach these difficult experiences.

Though hardships were long an overlooked influence on leadership learning , people are beginning to recognize now that they can be mined for key leadership lessons.

4 Lessons Learned From Hardships & Adversity

Hardships can bring unexpected gifts if we’re open to gleaning lessons from them. While this isn’t automatic, anyone can find and embrace these silver linings. Here are 4 lessons learned from hardships.

What We Learn From Hardships

1. compassion & sensitivity..

A significant dose of humility usually comes with hardship. It’s never easy to confront the truth that you aren’t perfect, invincible, or immune to difficult or even terrible things. But going through hardship can open your eyes to the hardships of others. Receiving support and help from others may motivate you to give support more readily. Your sense of compassion can grow.

2. Self-Knowledge & Perspective.

Hardships force you to come face-to-face with who you are. Lessons learned from hardships often reveal limitations, patterns, beliefs, and skills you didn’t see or appreciate before. This shift, which  increases self-awareness,  is powerful. You have the chance to make new choices based on what matters; how you act, think, and feel; and what you can and can’t do.

3. Limits of Control.

As much as you might want to chart your own path, hardship is a powerful reminder of the limits of your own control. By acknowledging and embracing those limits on your power, you can put down some of the weight you’re carrying and accept that some things aren’t up to you.

4. Flexibility.

Surviving hardship and willing yourself to move forward builds added strength to tackle new challenges and face future failures. Flexibility allows you to be resilient and durable as things change . It teaches you to be open to learning and agile as you figure out what to do next.

When you’re in the middle of a really tough time, these gifts may seem far away or irrelevant — but they’re invaluable.

How to Learn Lessons From the Hardships You Face

6 ways to grow from adversity.

Here are a few suggestions to help you glean silver linings from difficult times:

1. Don’t let the hardship be everything.

Rest, exercise, and make time for wellness where you can. Spend time — even if it’s remotely — reconnecting with people who make you laugh, and do things that get your mind off your troubles. Recovery time, even if in small amounts, is essential for learning.

2. Don’t be ashamed of failures, mistakes, or struggles.

To learn, you need to reflect on the experience. Plus, reluctance to talk to others or get support can make your hardship that much more difficult to overcome. Instead of beating yourself up over it, figure out what you can do differently in the future, and keep moving forward.

3. Avoid defensiveness.

Resist the temptation to put the blame on the situation or others’ shortcomings. Try not to react defensively when other people give you feedback or point out things you are (or aren’t) doing. Denying problems or shifting blame away from yourself will not serve you in the long run.

4. Keep asking questions.

• How might this hardship be a new challenge?
• What might I learn as a result?
• How might lessons from past experiences apply?
• How am I feeling?
• What’s my intuition telling me?
• What are my actions telling me about what’s working and what’s not working?
• What can I learn from what I and others did in this situation?
• What feedback do I need to seek from others?
• How might this help me going forward?

5. Connect with others.

If you’re experiencing discrimination, bias, or injustice, reach out to people who can relate or support you. Internalizing the experience won’t help you or anyone else, and it will only allow the situation to fester. Identify people you trust and figure out how you’d like to proceed.

6. Look back to find your lessons of experience.

Hardships aren’t the main way people learn — experience is the primary teacher. Our Lessons of Experience research tells us that almost a quarter of all leadership development stems from hardships. That’s more than classroom experiences or formal training opportunities, meaning that what you’re going through right now could be a powerful catalyst on your leadership journey. Consider using our  Experience Explorer™ activity  for yourself and others.

Hardship is painful. But if you can learn from it, and turn it into an opportunity for growth, you gain something back that stays with you forever.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Help your leaders learn to extract lessons from hardships they face, maintaining resilience while handling uncertainty and setbacks. Equip them  with a customized learning journey using our research-backed modules. Available leadership topics include Change & Disruption, Conflict Management, Emotional Intelligence, Learning Agility, Psychological Safety, Resilience-Building , Self-Awareness, and more.

• PDF & Print-Friendly Version
• Download as PDF

Based on Research by

Bill leads our efforts to help clients develop leadership strategies their organizations can use to transform their leadership cultures and capabilities. A thought leader in the field of organization development, he advises CEOs and Boards on challenges of the future including business disruption, new ways of organizing, creating more effective digital networks, leading continuous change, and improving senior team effectiveness.

With over 30 years of experience at CCL, Cindy has contributed to many aspects of CCL’s work: research, publication, product development, program evaluation, coaching, and management. She designs and manages R&D projects, coaches action learning teams, writes for multiple audiences, and is a frequent speaker at professional conferences.

Alice applies her extensive facilitation and consulting experience to the design and delivery of leadership engagements for executive and senior level leaders of organizations in a wide range of industries. She holds a PhD in Social-Organizational Psychology from Columbia University, as well as graduate degrees in several disciplines, including Adult Education and Public Health.

Mike has over 2 decades of experience in a variety of leadership roles in the tech industry. He cofounded an entrepreneurial startup and led marketing and business development in a Fortune 100 company. He now partners with our clients to help them align their people development strategy with their enterprise business strategy and shape the leadership culture required to drive organizational performance.

Chuck is leader in the field of leadership coaching and a sought-after keynote speaker with a refreshingly authentic, practical, and inspiring style. He created CCL’s Better Conversations Every Day ™, a highly successful one-day experience designed to be scaled for enterprise culture change and aimed at unlocking emotionally intelligent, feedback-rich conversations.

Chuck is an Honorary Senior Fellow and co-founded of CCL’s Organizational Leadership Practice and CCL Labs. Retired in 2020, Chuck studied, taught, and developed leadership as a relational process in the context of the vertical transformation of leadership cultures, with a special interest in digital disruption.

Table of Contents

Don't miss a single insight! Get our latest cutting-edge, research-based leadership content sent directly to your inbox.

Related Topics

What to explore next.

Is your personal life affecting your professional life? The classic 70-20-10 model omitted the impact of hardships and personal life on leadership development, but perhaps that’s worth revisiting.

Learn how organizations are boldly using heat experiences for talent development. But getting the temperature right and providing leaders with support to endure the heat are both critical – otherwise, you risk losing your high-potential talent to burnout.

Development isn’t passive. It’s more than letting life experience wash over you. The best leaders understand the benefits of leadership experience and actively mine their experiences for lessons and growth.

On-the-job experience is the number one way people learn and grow, accounting for more than 50% of learning. Here’s how talent leaders can maximize that learning to develop leaders.

Productive change doesn’t happen by itself. Effective change leaders know how to manage the change process and guide people through change with these 3 elements.

Related Solutions

Developing resilience ensures sustainable performance for both individuals and organizations. Support your team with our proven resilience-building solutions.

Build your team's skill at leading with agility. Our leadership solutions improve learning agility and create the ability to learn lessons from experiences.

CCL Regional Headquarters

+1 336 545 2810 ccl.org

EUROPE, MIDDLE EAST, AFRICA

+32 (0) 2 679 09 10 ccl.org/emea

ASIA-PACIFIC, INDIA, CHINA

+65 6854 6000 ccl.org/apac

At the Center for Creative Leadership, our drive to create a ripple effect of positive change underpins everything we do. For 50+ years, we've pioneered leadership development solutions for leaders at every level, from community leaders to CEOs. Consistently ranked among the top global providers of executive education, our research-based programs and solutions inspire individuals at every level in organizations across the world — including 2/3 of the Fortune 1000 — to ignite remarkable transformations.

Get our latest insights delivered to your inbox: ccl.org/subscribe .

Home — Essay Samples — Life — Overcoming Challenges — Hardships in My Life

Hardships in My Life

• Categories: Overcoming Challenges

About this sample

Words: 541 |

Published: Mar 20, 2024

Words: 541 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Cite this Essay

To export a reference to this article please select a referencing style below:

Let us write you an essay from scratch

• 450+ experts on 30 subjects ready to help
• Custom essay delivered in as few as 3 hours

Get high-quality help

Prof Ernest (PhD)

Verified writer

• Expert in: Life

+ 120 experts online

By clicking “Check Writers’ Offers”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy . We’ll occasionally send you promo and account related email

No need to pay just yet!

Related Essays

1 pages / 560 words

2 pages / 728 words

1 pages / 547 words

1 pages / 617 words

Remember! This is just a sample.

You can get your custom paper by one of our expert writers.

121 writers online

Still can’t find what you need?

Browse our vast selection of original essay samples, each expertly formatted and styled

Related Essays on Overcoming Challenges

My immigrant journey has been a testament to the courage and determination that define the pursuit of a better life. Leaving behind the familiar, my family and I embarked on a voyage of hope, resilience, and adaptation. This [...]

The Lewis and Clark expedition, also known as the Corps of Discovery, was a groundbreaking journey that shaped the history of the United States. Led by Meriwether Lewis and William Clark, the expedition aimed to explore the [...]

Thomas, Angie. The Hate U Give. Balzer + Bray, 2017.

Throughout life, individuals encounter a myriad of unique opportunities and challenges that can profoundly shape their journeys. These experiences, whether they involve overcoming adversity, pursuing a passion, or taking on a [...]

Introduction to Lizzie Velasquez and her TEDTalk Brief overview of her rare disease and childhood struggles Discussion of how Lizzie faced bullying and rejection from peers Highlighting her determination to [...]

The document targets individuals in the remote villages of India such as North Eastern Area of Tripura. According to James (2012), most of the areas have been under insurgency between 2000 and 2008. Consequently, the ability to [...]

Related Topics

By clicking “Send”, you agree to our Terms of service and Privacy statement . We will occasionally send you account related emails.

Where do you want us to send this sample?

By clicking “Continue”, you agree to our terms of service and privacy policy.

Be careful. This essay is not unique

This essay was donated by a student and is likely to have been used and submitted before

Download this Sample

Free samples may contain mistakes and not unique parts

Sorry, we could not paraphrase this essay. Our professional writers can rewrite it and get you a unique paper.

Please check your inbox.

We can write you a custom essay that will follow your exact instructions and meet the deadlines. Let's fix your grades together!

Get Your Personalized Essay in 3 Hours or Less!

We use cookies to personalyze your web-site experience. By continuing we’ll assume you board with our cookie policy .

• Instructions Followed To The Letter
• Deadlines Met At Every Stage
• Unique And Plagiarism Free

• Starting a Business
• Growing a Business
• Small Business Guide
• Business News
• Science & Technology
• Money & Finance
• For Subscribers
• Write for Entrepreneur
• Tips White Papers
• Entrepreneur Store
• United States
• Asia Pacific
• Middle East
• United Kingdom
• South Africa

Copyright © 2024 Entrepreneur Media, LLC All rights reserved. Entrepreneur® and its related marks are registered trademarks of Entrepreneur Media LLC

The 12 Invaluable Lessons Learned Enduring Hardship and Stress Suffering teaches lessons we treasure when times get better.

By Sherrie Campbell Edited by Dan Bova Oct 20, 2016

Opinions expressed by Entrepreneur contributors are their own.

There is no way to quite describe how debilitating it feels carrying a crushing load of stress and uncertainty. When we're panicking it is nearly impossible to find workable or well considered solutions to our problems.

Feelings of stress are amongst the most frightening and powerful we experience along our path to success. Business is full of unfair situations, poor communication, deals gone bad, lies told, people underperforming, entitlement, loss of finances and other let downs. When we're in these stressful times we can feel out of control, hurt, harsh levels of self-doubt, extreme sadness, anxiety, and fear, coupled with feeling powerless to change our circumstances. Yet, without these types of stressors, unfair situations, and less than honest or stellar people on our paths we would never grow into the powerful people we are destined to become.

1. Don't repeat.

Never go back to what or who broke you. If people will do things once they will do it again. Follow the rule, betray me once shame on you, betray me twice shame on me. You cannot get water from a dry well. Learn when to cut ties and move on to something bigger, better and more worthy of your time and effort.

2. Time heals.

Stress and hardship, although not enjoyable, do pass and as time moves on, solutions come. It is only through a tremendous amount of patience that you are able to turn your terrors to triumphs. As time looms stagnant, make sure to focus on working hard and finding a level of acceptance for the situation you are in, and you will see that things begin to settle and work out; maybe not in the vision you had originally held, but many times things take directions which are even better for you.

3. Holes fill.

Whatever opportunities are lost or taken away, leaving gaping voids in your life, will initially be filled with your stress and heartbreak. However, by design, whatever falls empty will soon become full again. A wise person once told me that whatever I lose in life will be replaced by an opportunity that will be good or better than what I was in before.

4. Pain ends.

Stress and hardship are extremely painful. No one ever promised life would be fair, but if you can keep the faith, keep moving forward and working hard you will come to see that what was lost, or meant for your harm, will soon turn directly in your favor. When you're stressed, keep your eyes on the ball. If you make the choice to keep moving forward you will create the light at the end of the tunnel.

Related: 7 Habits of a Self-Made Millennial Millionaire

5. Courage.

Hardships and major stressors can be completely debilitating. The only way to get rid of these fears is to do the things you fear, face the things you'd rather avoid, and keep moving when you want to freeze. If you allow yourself to stay blocked you cannot grow, and your situation has no opportunity for change. Understand, courage is not something you have, it is something you do.

6. Things change.

All of us are creatures of habit and most prefer a certain amount familiarity and predictability to their lives. Trust that if something in your life/career changes or ends it is because it wasn't working properly. Change is stressful and can feel devastating, but things change so they can get better; allowing you an opportunity to move in a new and better direction. Throughout your life and career there will be situations that won't get better, but you can get better. Keep in mind that endings are inseparable from new beginnings.

Letting go is an essential ingredient to moving through any type of stress or hardship. Clutching and hanging on only make you feel more desperate, powerless and needy. Letting go is the greatest risk you take, but it is only through letting go that the space for change and healing is created. Clutching and hanging on block opportunities, creativity, new solutions, and the exact answers you may be looking for. Letting go is the most courageous act of opening up.

8. You will survive.

Stress and hardship teach you that you are capable of surviving what was meant for your destruction. You can absolutely survive these time periods in life because there is no other choice. When you have no other choice but to move on, you will, and you will come out stronger and more successful. Nothing teaches you more about getting through your self-doubts then forcing yourself to get through them.

Related: Here's How Much a Millennial Needs to Save Each Month to Retire With $5 Million

9. You gain understanding.

You are never more malleable then when you are feeling defeated and in need of help, structure, or guidance. As you grow through these unpleasant times you come to understand, when a new opportunity walks into your life, why things didn't work out for you in the place or with the people you were with before.

10. You are being prepared.

The process of stress, hardship and heartbreak are preparatory. Stress is the training you need to grow up to the next level your life is about to demand of you. Life is consistently demanding your growth. Change is the most powerful way to get you examining, and growing. Without stress your life would be nearly meaningless. Stress makes you move and it makes your life worth living. It is the painful feelings to come from stress which awaken you to how alive you are and to how deeply you can feel.

11. Independence.

Nothing will get you to depend more fully on yourself than large doses of stress or fear. It is during these times you are forced to turn to yourself for the sole purpose of changing the trajectory and attitude of your life. You become the most connected to yourself in the times when life brings you harshly to your knees. It is here that you find a true sense of your independence and resiliency. It is in moving through your suffering you develop the capacities to more fully love people, to believe in yourself, your life and to more deeply understand how vast your capabilities for success reach.

Related: 7 Ways to Make Extra Income Even With a Full-Time Job

12. You will rise.

When you feel the drowning sensations which come from a stressful and terrible situation it feels like you will not make it through. That is how it feels, but it is not how it will be. Stress and hardship are what make you stronger, more mindful and elegant in your approach to love, life and business. It is in the journey of getting through these hard times you become more bold and brave in getting your needs met. It is through your challenges you learn to rise.

The feelings of stress, hardship, and uncertainty reach into the depths of what human suffering is. The hardest thing about these times is that even though you intellectually know they will pass, when you're in throws of them, they feel as if they are never going to shift or change in your favor. Uncertainty is a painful journey. It's a journey that you will take many times over your lifetime, in many different areas of your life and for many different reasons. You may as well buckle up and accept that the journey through your stress and heartbreak serve as the character building devices you need in an effort to take full accountability for yourself, your life, your trajectory and the management of your emotions. Without suffering you cannot develop the necessary wisdom for your continued success.

Psychologist, Author, Speaker

Sherrie Campbell is a psychologist in Yorba Linda, Calif., with two decades of clinical training and experience in providing counseling and psychotherapy services. She is the author of  Loving Yourself: The Mastery of Being Your Own Person . Her new book,  Success Equations: A Path to an Emotionally Wealthy Life ,  is available for pre-order.

Want to be an Entrepreneur Leadership Network contributor? Apply now to join.

Editor's Pick Red Arrow

• Daniel Lubetzky Took Kind Snacks From Idea to $5 Billion. Here's His Best Advice for Anyone Who Wants to Start a Business.
• Lock I Learned the Secret to Unstoppable Resilience at a Young Age — Here's How I Use It as an Entrepreneur
• Introvert Warren Buffett Was 'Terrified' of Public Speaking. Here's the Secret That Helps Him Address 40,000 People at the Berkshire Hathaway Annual Meeting.
• Lock 11 Side Hustles That Take Less Than an Hour Per Day
• McDonald's Is Launching the Highly Anticipated Chicken Big Mac in the U.S. — Here's When
• Lock Most People Overlook This Social Trick to Make Others Like You : 'It Requires Little Talent and Adds so Much Value'

Most Popular Red Arrow

She started a business with $300 after getting laid off. it made $300,000 in year 1 and became a multimillion-dollar company..

Bobbie Racette wanted to revamp the virtual assistance space — and provide job opportunities for underrepresented communities at the same time.

How Property Management Software Can Help Landlords Increase Their Revenue and Avoid 'Nightmare' Tenants

Find out how modern property management software can make your life easier (and boost your bottom line) by helping you identify and avoid "nightmare" tenants.

He Raced at 330 MPH Before Taking Over the Family Business — Here's What Being in the Driver's Seat Taught Him About Leadership

Morgan Lucas, former professional drag racer, talks about getting behind the wheel of Lucas Oil as its new CEO.

Own Your Expertise — 13 Ways to Elevate Your Thought Leadership

Here's how to elevate your expertise and leverage your knowledge to become a trusted authority and visionary in your specific area.

McDonald's Launched a Happy Meal for the 30th Anniversary of a Classic '90s Sitcom — But There's a Catch

The promotion is only available in one country, so fans elsewhere are turning to resale platforms like eBay to buy the collectible toys.

'Not Yet Fully Autonomous': Tesla's Optimus Robots Stole the Show — But Were They Actually Controlled By Humans?

Musk said the $20,000 to $30,000 robot could perform household tasks like mowing lawns and putting away groceries.

Successfully copied link

Life Is Tough: Overcoming Hardship and Failure

What defines those who thrive despite adversity.

Posted August 21, 2013 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

• What Is Resilience?
• Take our Resilience Test
• Find a therapist near me

“When life gets tough, the tough get going.” This timeless proverb may be true for some, but for others, hardship can be too much to overcome. When the going gets tough, their life simply falls apart.

What is it exactly that separates those who thrive regardless of adversity and those who don’t? Is it genetics , luck, or pure willpower ?

Consider that Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in prison before he became the first democratically elected president in South Africa. Abraham Lincoln failed in business, had a nervous breakdown, and was defeated eight times in elections before becoming president. A boy born to a teenage alcoholic prostitute and an absentee father found himself in trouble throughout his childhood , eventually growing up to be Charles Manson.

These examples are extreme, but they demonstrate the different routes people may choose when facing major obstacles. Some people turn to alcohol and drugs, stealing, or physical violence. Nearly 16,000 people drank themselves to death in 2010. Every year, more than 3 million children will witness domestic violence in their home. Conversely, many people have gone through hell and back and are moral, happy, and successful. As a youth violence and family trauma psychologist, it’s my job to find the turning point between the right path and the wrong one.

In my own life, I dealt with hardship and failure. My family was poor. I had to cope with suicides, mental illness, and domestic violence; two of my family members died of alcoholism .

My grandmother was a teacher and I thought I would follow in her footsteps. After attempting to go to school for teaching, I realized that I was not cut out for it. I felt like I had failed. When I was young, I tried to be a writer and was not successful. My first marriage was a failure, as was my first business. I was challenged significantly when I enrolled in my Ph.D. program at the age of 42 and my classmates were all 20 years younger.

And the story would not be complete without telling you that someone attempted to rape me when I was a young woman. I only told a few people. I cried and cried. I wanted to scrub the skin right off my body. Yet today, I can face my fears and am a big fan of Law and Order: Special Victim’s Unit .

Despite all these trials, life marched on and turned out positive. I earned my Ph.D. I am a successful non-fiction writer and the author of two books that have sold well. I own my own practice, Eastern Shore Psychological Services, which has grown considerably and won numerous awards. And I am happily remarried to a loving husband, although I once told myself that I’d never marry again.

Why was I able to overcome the negative parts of my life when others from similar backgrounds have ended up addicted to substances or in jail? The simple answer is that I had enough protective factors in my life to outweigh my risk factors. For instance:

• The neighborhood I grew up in was safe.
• I was always supported by people who loved me.
• I did well in school and had opportunities to succeed.
• I had pro-social role models.
• I received treatment for depression and PTSD .
• There were many happy events in my life.
• I kept going, one foot after the other, no matter what.

The Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention found that children who have more than five risk factors (learning problems, maltreatment, chaotic neighborhoods, etc.) and less than six protective factors (adult support, life skills, clear standards set by caregivers, etc.) have an 80 percent chance of committing future violent acts. This means that, while we all face varying levels of hardship, there must be a counterbalance of positives in our lives so that we may continue to grow and succeed.

Looking back at my family members who struggled, I realize that they did not have the level of support and education about depression and alcoholism that I was fortunate to have. At two points in my life, I had problems controlling my anger , just like my father. But I gained support through education and friends, and I learned to deal with it effectively. Without these support systems, statistical research says that I would most likely have failed.

It’s true that some of our ability to deal with hardships and failure has to do with biological traits and genetics. Some of it may have to do with luck. But mostly it has to do with the environment and people around us. Our parents, siblings, peers, educators, and community all play a vital role in shaping who we become.

Life is tough and we all have our own challenges to face. But we don’t have to face them alone. With a caring heart and encouraging hand, we can all play a role in supporting others through their greatest hardships.

For more information, please visit my website .

Kathryn Seifert, Ph.D. , is the author of the Child & Adolescent Risk Evaluation screening tool.

• Find a Therapist
• Find a Treatment Center
• Find a Psychiatrist
• Find a Support Group
• Find Online Therapy
• United States
• Brooklyn, NY
• Chicago, IL
• Houston, TX
• Los Angeles, CA
• New York, NY
• Portland, OR
• San Diego, CA
• San Francisco, CA
• Seattle, WA
• Washington, DC
• Asperger's
• Bipolar Disorder
• Chronic Pain
• Eating Disorders
• Passive Aggression
• Personality
• Goal Setting
• Positive Psychology
• Stopping Smoking
• Low Sexual Desire
• Relationships
• Child Development
• Self Tests NEW
• Therapy Center
• Diagnosis Dictionary
• Types of Therapy

It’s increasingly common for someone to be diagnosed with a condition such as ADHD or autism as an adult. A diagnosis often brings relief, but it can also come with as many questions as answers.

• Emotional Intelligence
• Gaslighting
• Affective Forecasting
• Neuroscience