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Top 13 Arguments Against Arranged Marriages

Parents and families arrange 55% of all marriages worldwide as per a study done by Statistic Brain in 2012. This statistic is as high as 88.4% in India. And if you thought most marriages result from an ongoing, happy relationship between two people, you probably need to rethink.

Brief overview of the prevalence of arranged marriages in various cultures

Many cultures and communities worldwide have practiced arranged marriages in which the family or a third party plays a significant role in selecting a spouse for an individual. In some cultures, arranged marriages are the norm, while in others, they are less common.

In some traditional societies, arranged marriages are seen as a way to strengthen family and community ties. They may be considered a more practical and secure choice than a love marriage. In many Asian, Middle Eastern, and African cultures, arranged marriages are more common. However, arranged marriages are also found in other parts of the world, including details of South America, Europe, and the United States.

In recent years, the prevalence of arranged marriages has declined in many parts of the world as more people marry for love. However, many cultures still practice arranged marriages and remain a part of traditional and familial values.

Top estimates and statistics on arranged marriage

Here are a few estimates of the prevalence of arranged marriages in various countries in 2023:

• In India, it is estimated that 90-95% of marriages are arranged.
• For Pakistan, around 70-80% of marriages are arranged.
• In Bangladesh, 70-80% of marriages are also estimated to be arranged.
• In the United States, it is difficult to determine the exact percentage of arranged marriages, but they are relatively rare compared to love marriages. The number should be less than 5%

These estimates are rough and may need to be more accurate. Additionally, the prevalence of arranged marriages can change over time and may vary within a single country or culture.

Let’s compare the arranged marriage rates with divorce rates in some countries –

Arranged Marriage and Divorce Rates by Country

What are the top arguments against arranged marriages.

Let us discuss the top 13 arguments against arranged marriages. Remember that we are only talking about arranged marriages and not forced marriages. In society, an arranged marriage has plenty of room for concealing deal breakers, like the below listed:

1. One is not in control of choosing a life partner

You come into this world with all your existing relations- except one. Finding a spouse is essentially everyone’s right, and arranged marriages also take away that sole right. One does not get to listen to their mind and compare them against their ideals. Most parents believe a meeting or two with the prospective match is enough to decide for a lifetime.

2. Parents decide compatibility

Compatibility can create a successful marriage or make a recipe for disaster. However, in arranged marriages, one must learn more about the other person to gauge the compatibility level in the short courtship period. Most people put their best foot forward.

3. The process is dehumanizing

Some cultures practice selecting the prospective bride based on color, height, weight, etc. The girl is often paraded like a commodity, and the groom can reject her for how she looks- from breast size to a wide smile. People in arranged marriages marry the physical aspects of a person that satiates them, not the qualities.

4. Love is the second priority

In India, at least, arranged marriages are marriages between families. It pressures both partners to meet the opposite family’s expectations. It often leads to frustrations, frequent arguments, and unhealthy compromises – making love take a seat at the end.

5. Extended family interference

Because the complete control of the wedding and everything concerned with it lies with the parents, their involvement stays paramount in the relationship. Sometimes, it could turn nasty with privacy and individuality compromised, making the marriage miserable.

6. Expectations are not clearly defined

We all have some expectations of our life partners, but we rarely discuss arranged marriages. A minimal say in your and your partner’s life could make a wedding unhealthy and unsustainable.

Lack of choice and say in the relationship contributes to dissatisfaction and makes the marriage unsustainable in some cases in the long run. Open communication about expectations is essential for the longevity of any wedding.

7. One ends up living with a stranger

Imagine meeting a person a few times briefly, and the next thing you know, you are sharing a life with them! Bizarre as it may sound, it is the truth. Arranged marriages do not leave one with enough time to get to know each other closely.

Transitioning from being strangers to life partners in arranged marriages is jarring for many people. There is limited time to get to know each other, and it can make things challenging and establish a deep emotional connection. Most of the time, it creates stress and uncertainty.

8. Likely communication gap

One does not know what to expect out of the marriage. One is in minimal control of the relationship and battling family interference. The communication gap creeps its ugly head and becomes a potential relationship wrecker.

Individuals have little say when it comes to the choice of partner. They face regular family interference and uncertainty, which is often stressful. Lack of communication can increase these challenges affecting the relationship. Consent, autonomy, and effective communication are essential in any marriage, whether arranged or not.

9. The relationship takes a long time to bloom

With love a second priority and the weight of family expectations, it is only likely that a relationship will take a long time to bloom. Sometimes, after having children, a couple realizes they are in love! This prolonged “blooming” period can be both a challenge and an opportunity for couples to grow closer meaningfully. This might have both positive and negative impacts based on circumstances.

10. Lovemaking is a chore

With little or no feelings, lovemaking becomes a regular chore for women in the initial stages of arranged marriages. No one talks about what they like or dislike and ‘do it’ because they are married.

However, lovemaking is a “chore” in arranged marriages is a stereotype. It may only apply sometimes. Intimacy in marriage varies depending on the couple’s emotional connection, communication, and personal preferences.

11. Financial loopholes

There is a huge chance that one is unaware of the other family’s financial debts in arranged marriages. Sometimes, one partner must prepare to deal with the in-laws’ financial commitments, which serves as a deal-breaker. Dowry is often associated with arranged marriages to show off the financial status of a family.

12. The low divorce rate but high unhappiness index

Because arranged marriages involve families, people tend to live in bad marriages for fear of bringing shame to the family. Even if a marriage is abusive, many women live in misery and anxiety, as a divorce is unthinkable and will get a bad name on their families. However, the thinking is based more on anecdotal and qualitative evidence, and complex data for it is limited.

13. Potential for abusive or unhappy relationships

It is important to note that while arranged marriages can lead to strong, successful relationships, there is also the potential for them to be abusive or unhappy.

One reason may be that the individuals entering the arranged marriage need the opportunity to get to know each other before getting married. This can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts later on. In addition, in some cases, individuals may feel pressure to go through with the arranged marriage even if they are unhappy with the match, leading to resentment and unhappiness within the relationship.

FAQs for Arranged Marriage

What is an arranged marriage.

An arranged marriage is a marital union of two individuals chosen by the parents and the immediate family. There is a considerable difference between an arranged marriage, where both the bride and groom share a short courtship period and can refuse the marriage, and a forced marriage. Though questionable by modern society, arranged marriages remain the most common means of matrimony in countries that follow a traditional social model.

Are Arranged Marriages Happy Marriages?

Every marriage has a 50% chance of being a happy one. However, you can be delighted if you love the person you vow to spend the rest of your life with. Respect, mutual understanding, cooperation, sensitivity to each other’s needs, financial stability, compatibility, comfort levels, etc., are key metrics that lead to a happy marriage. However, these metrics are subjective and could be missing in an arranged marriage. But because arranged marriages do not give the couple ample time and are suitable to decide on these factors, they take secondary importance.

Are Arranged Marriages Wrong?

In theory, arranged marriages are a perfect way to start married life because divorce rates are almost negligible! But in practice, they are much like a social evil, with individuals having little or no choice over their most important life decisions. They also bring about many other sins, like abuse, dowry, compromises, etc. Love should be the driving force behind a marriage, not family pressures. Kick-starting a new life with someone needs to be a happy, mutually consented decision so that energy is enjoyed in all its glory.

How do arranged marriages impact individuals in India?

Marriages in India are not just two people who take vows to spend their entire lives together. It is actually a festival that lasts for days and involves everyone in the family, neighborhood, and friends. And when the marriage is arranged, the hoopla cannot be ignored. And if you thought marriages are made in heaven, let us remind you that the couple has to live on Earth at the end of the day. And a lifetime isn’t short. Nevertheless, they remain prevalent and leave little or no control over the individual. You could read more about the advantages and disadvantages of arranged marriage here.

Swati is a blog writer/researcher who has done her masters in Public Relations. She loves creative writing and has experience in both creative and technical writing fields. Her background as a science student makes her interested in doing detailed research on topics she covers. She strives to help readers make sense of complex questions by explaining them in everyday language so that people can easily incorporate this knowledge into their lives.

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There is one aspect of these marriages which to me is sheer horror ..suppose you do not fall in love with each other (which could be the case in most of these marriages), than eventually… the woman gets raped every night for the rest of her miserable life and the guy becomes a genrational rapist for the rest of his miserable life and this goes on and on…all for the sake of financial. cultural and religious reasons and familypressure i would rather die than live like that… The man is being sold off by his own family like a prized bull and the woman is being bought for the man by his family tike you would buy a whore …only this one is for life ..what a bleak furure for your children i can not imagine a >>Loving family?????doing that to their children a heartless selfish family…. yes ..Shame on you mothers and fathers you should know better .

Are arranged marriages a form of cultural oppression, robbing individuals of their autonomy and right to choose their life partners, or are they a practical and efficient way to ensure marital stability and family harmony?

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Arranged Marriages’ Advantages and Disadvantages

Welcome to our argumentative essay sample on arranged marriage: advantages and disadvantages. Here, you’ll find the disadvantages and advantages of arranged marriage, discussion, statistics, and other aspects of the debate.

Arranged Marriage: Essay Introduction

Arranged marriages in the modern society, arranged marriage advantages and disadvantages, advantages of arranged marriages, disadvantages of arranged marriages, arranged marriage: essay conclusion, works cited.

Arranged marriages were very popular in traditional societies across the world. Arranged marriage was considered the best way through which a man or woman of the right age could get the right life partner for the continuity of a given lineage. However, modernization and Westernization have changed this mindset about arranged marriages not only in Western countries but also in various parts of the world.

Inasmuch as arranged marriages are still common all over the world. Many people now prefer selecting their life partners through unarranged processes. The debate about the relevance of arranged marriages is still raging in various societies across the world.

The practice is still common among Muslim communities, but the current generation is very keen on selecting their life partners based on love other than through arranged processes. This does not mean that arranged marriages are non-existence in the modern society. According to Tseng (127), arranged marriages are still common in the current society. The researcher seeks to determine the benefits and shortcomings of having arranged marriages.

Arranged married were very common in past societies. Many factors made arranged marriages to be very important in traditional societies. Entezar (52) gives an example of a typical Muslim society in Saudi Arabia, where arranged marriages were very common in the past.

In this society, morality was highly valued. As children grew up, they had to understand and appreciate their identity. Boys had to grow up knowing that they would be heads of their families and had to work hard towards making their future life as good as they desired. On the other side, girls had to grow up knowing that they were responsible for household chores. They had to know how to prepare their homes and take care of their children.

At the adolescent stage, there were strict rules concerning the manner in which adolescent boys and girls were expected to interact. At this delicate stage of development, boys were not expected to mingle freely with girls (Lamanna and Riedmann 33). This was important because the elders knew that if this happened, then these teenagers might find themselves engaging in irresponsible behavior that may ruin the future of the girls. Society highly cherished the virginity of a woman at marriage, and this was one of the ways of protecting it.

In this kind of social setting, it was very difficult for young adults planning to marry to mingle with the members of the opposite sex so that they could understand each other and determine whether they were in love and could live together. This made it necessary for the parents or the society to arrange the marriages for their children.

With all the experience they had and knowledge about other families, parents could determine the appropriate life partner for their children. In most cases, they would conduct an investigation on the family and the man or woman who is planned to be the life partner of their children.

When they were satisfied, they would inform their children about the intended union. According to Roberts (78), although the two who were to be unionized were given the liberty to give their verdict over the issue, especially the man, they were expected to respect their parents’ opinion. However, rejecting a partner that the parents had approved was considered rude and unethical. For this reason, the parents’ decision would prevail, and the marriage would proceed with the blessings of parents from both sides.

The social structure of many communities around the world is changing very first due to the changes brought about by science and technology. It is common for an Emirati girl to travel to the United Kingdom or the United States at a tender age for further studies. Similarly, people from other parts of the world are flocking to the United Arab Emirates for various reasons, from tourism to trade. For instance, Dubai is currently one of the most diversified cities on earth because of its relevance as a strategic business hub.

As Tseng (43) puts it, the current society is a global village. The emergence of modern technologies and the relevance of the Western education system have redefined the social structure of society not only in the Middle East but also in the entire world. A child does not need to leave Abu Dhabi for the United States in order to be Westernized. The movies they watch and the music they listen to make them question some of the established systems in their traditional setting.

In the current society, it is not possible to prevent close interactions between adolescent girls and boys in Muslim communities. Parents have realized that the best gift they can give to their children is formal education, irrespective of their gender. For this reason, boys and girls will mingle freely at school.

They share classrooms, and sometimes, they are assigned tasks together. According to Lamanna and Riedmann (33), teachers have been forced to bear the pressure from human rights activists who insist on giving both boys and girls equal opportunities at school. This involves treating them equally in every activity, especially at higher levels of learning.

In this highly integrated setting, young adults can get to understand each other. A young man planning to marry should know that different women behave differently. The same case will apply to a woman. She will know the kind of man she would want as a life partner. Entezar (39) calls this liberation. The education system liberates the mind of the younger generation from tight control from their parents.

They can look at the world from their own perspective to determine what they want in life. The main question that many people have been asking is the relevance of arranged marriages in the current liberated society. In the past, young adults would not mingle easily, and this made it difficult to choose the right life partner. In the current society, this has changed as the education system makes it possible for these people to interact very closely.

In the past, knowledge and wisdom were believed to rest with the elders, and their views were almost considered a sacred command that was not to be questioned, even if it was apparent that they were in error. In the current society, the younger populations have been liberated, and they have the capacity to advise the elders about the future.

Despite these facts, a number of people still find arranged marriages very important for the well-being of the couple and the community at large. At this stage, it will be important to analyze the benefits and shortcomings of arranged marriages.

Arranged marriages remain popular not only among Muslims but also in other societies around the world. According to Tseng (81), even in the West, it is common to see parents trying to influence the choice of life partners for their children.

This is an indication that even with all the education that their children may have and the westernizations- having been born and brought up in the West, the parents always have the feeling that their children could make a mistake when choosing their life partners. This creates a feeling that they should play a role in making this important choice. This is a strong suggestion that arranged marriages have benefits that should not be ignored.

One of the biggest advantages of arranged marriages is that the partners will have a perfect match when it comes to culture, religion, social status, lifestyle, and many other factors that always affect the compatibility of couples. As Browne (83) notes, basing marriage on love is great, but sometimes when love defines everything, then one would be blinded to some of the social incompatibilities that may make life difficult for the couple after marriage.

It will force the partners to make compromises, some of which may go against one’s own beliefs and customs. At the early stages of life, making such compromises may be simple because of the infatuation brought about by the feeling of love.

However, as the couple settles down in marriage, these realities start setting in, and it may cause serious strains in the relationship. Unless the couple is strong-willed and determined to make everything work in their favor, the marriage can be brought to an end after a short while. The following figure shows the rising cases of divorce in the UAE from 1960 to 2008.

This problem can easily be solved when the marriages are arranged. The people arranging the marriage will ensure that the couple is perfectly compatible before they can be allowed to marry.

It is a fact that in arranged marriages, the couple gets to benefit from the support they get from their parents and family members. When parents and members of the community are allowed to play a part in arranging the marriage, they will feel honored. They will take all the responsibilities in the entire marriage process. The parties who are getting into this union will be relieved of the financial burden that is involved in organizing the marriage.

Members of the community will ensure that all the expenses are addressed because it is their responsibility. All the tasks will be addressed from the communal level, meaning that the couple will get maximum support when organizing the wedding. The feeling that family members are happy with the marriage also has a positive psychological impact on the partners.

They will start life knowing that they have the full support of members of their communities. In such weddings, people will come and celebrate together as they witness the union. Given the fact that they were the organizers, make feel responsible. They will bring many gifts to help the couple start life without struggling much.

Marriages are designed to last forever, whether it is in the traditional setting or in modern Westernized society. When two people come together in marriage through the support of the parents and community members, they get a wide base of moral support whenever they have problems in their families.

Given the fact that members of the society organized their marriage, they have the moral authority to go back to them in case they are experiencing problems. Parents from both sides can be called to help solve the problem, and they will feel obliged to extend their help. The two will realize that their union is not limited to their family. Such unions bring together the entire community, and this minimizes the chances of divorce.

Every member of the community will try to help the couple work out their way in life, even in the face of challenges. The partners from both sides will also find themselves with a moral obligation to the community. They will know that their families and society cherish their marriage. This will make them determined to find solutions to the problems that may affect their marriage as a way of respecting their family members. In such unions, even children group up knowing the importance of love and family ties.

According to a survey conducted by Roberts (2), arranged marriages are becoming less common in modern society. This is so because people have come to realize that arranged marriages have a number of flaws that make them undesirable. Below are the results obtained from the survey in four countries about the attitude of members of society towards arranged marriages.

From the statistics shown above, it is clear that most of the participants in this survey noted that they do not have favorable attitudes toward arranged marriages. They noted a number of factors that make them feel that arranged marriages are a practice that should not be encouraged in modern society. The following are some of the specific disadvantages of arranged marriages. According to Browne (73), in arranged marriages, the decision to choose one’s partner is taken away from one’s hands.

The elders have the sole discretion of choosing a life partner for an individual who plans to marry. Marriage is a complex process that involves bringing together two completely different individuals into a lifetime union. The personality of the life partner will define the quality of life one has.

Given the sensitivity of this issue, one should be allowed to take time to understand the other person who is supposed to be the life partner. This would require a long time of interaction, trying to understand the personality of the person to determine if a life together can be a personality. The opportunity is denied to people who engage in arranged marriages.

According to Lamanna and Riedmann (33), in most cases, couples in arranged marriages find themselves in union with people who have contrasting personalities. It is important to appreciate that sharing religious beliefs, cultural practices, or social status may not necessarily make them compatible. The personalities of an individual may not be rigidly defined using demographical factors. Sometimes people of a completely different caste may find themselves more compatible than those that share their caste.

What makes the whole system very complex is the attachment that members of the family will have to that marriage. The two couples may be forced to stay together even if they find fundamental contrasts in their personalities simply because their parents and community members arranged their marriage. Such people will stay in their marriages because of the wish of their parents. As Entezar (67) notes, the marriage will cease to be blissful, and it will turn into a prison, as demonstrated in the figure below.

As demonstrated in the above figure, the partners will have more questions than answers in their union. Happiness will be gone, and in most cases, they will regret why they accepted the union in the first place. According to Lamanna and Riedmann (33), love in arranged marriages takes a secondary position. The partners are not given time to bond and develop love towards each other before their marriage.

Those who are involved in arranging the marriage always assume that the two will develop an attraction and love towards each other once they are in a marriage. However, this fallacy should be avoided. Chances are high that if the two entered into a marriage without love, then they may spend their entire lives without loving each other.

Entezar (56) describes such unions as marriages of convenience. The parties involved in the marriage will not be doing it for their own sake and for the sake of love. They will be doing it for the sake of their parents. They will be trying to please people around them, disregarding the importance of a strong bond that is always created by love. This weakens the foundation of their marriage.

The research by Browne (47) shows that arranged marriages are vulnerable to interferences from external forces. When family members participate in bringing the couple together, they will develop a feeling that they have the right to define the way the family is run. Each of the family members will make an effort to define the way the couple will be leading their lives. In some cases, these family members may find themselves positions in the newly created family.

They will want to visit the new family at wish, and whenever they have a personal problem, they will demand help from the couple simply because they participated in bringing them together. As Tseng (112) says, such environments are not good for the growth of the new family. Sometimes the demands of these family members may be unrealistic. Such negative forces are uncommon when the couple makes their own decisions when marrying.

Arranged marriages are still commonly practiced in the modern society. It is clear from the above discussion that this form of marriage was more common in traditional societies than it is in the current society. However, even in the current society, it is clear that one cannot dismiss the relevance of arranged marriages.

These marriages help in bringing family members together when choosing a life partner. This research reveals that despite these advantages, arranged marriages also have shortcomings that should be considered before a family can subject one of their own to it. Based on this discussion, using a blend of arranged and unarranged marriages may be of great benefit to the members of the family and, most importantly, to the couple.

Browne, Ken. An Introduction to Sociology . Cambridge: Polity Press, 2011. Print.

Entezar, Eshan. Afghanistan 101: Understanding Afghan Culture . New Jersey: Xlibris Corporation, 2008. Print.

Lamanna, Mary, and Agnes. Riedmann. Marriages & Families: Making Choices and Facing Change . Belmont: Wadsworth, 2006. Print.

Roberts, Kathleen. Communication Ethics: Between Cosmopolitanism and Provinciality . New York: Lang, 2008. Print.

Tseng, Wen-Shing. Handbook of Cultural Psychiatry . San Diego: Academic Press, 2001. Print.

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Home — Essay Samples — Sociology — Arranged Marriage — The Pros and Cons of Arranged Marriage in Modern Society

The Pros and Cons of Arranged Marriage in Modern Society

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Published: Feb 7, 2024

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Table of contents

Introduction, history of arranged marriage, pros of arranged marriage, cons of arranged marriage, cultural differences of arranged marriage, modern arranged marriage, arranged marriage vs. love marriage.

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Arranged Marriage and Its Ethical Dilemma Essay

Executive summary, theoretical responses.

The tradition of the arranged marriage has become a controversial issue in the recent years. Can parents decide such an important life choice for their children? What if the children do not have mutual affection? This paper examines the ethics of this scenario based on a dilemma.

Ethical Dilemma

Tariq is 17 years old. He is studying to work for a petroleum company. He loves and respects his family but is also afraid of his father, Abdulla. Abdulla is a very strict person who values his reputation above all else. One day, Tariq called his father to arrange a meeting in hopes of discussing an important issue with him. Tariq has not called his family in some time, so his mother Sheikha started feeling like the family is drifting apart. She told this to Abdulla, and he got an idea. To bring his family closer, Abdulla decided to invite all his extended family on the day Tariq was supposed to visit. When Tariq arrived, he was shocked to see his whole family waiting for him. Before Tariq could say anything, his father decided to throw a celebration. During the festivities, Abdulla announced to everyone: “To bring the two our families together I decided to Marry Tariq to Eman, my brother’s daughter!” Eman had feelings for Tariq but could not express them. Unfortunately for her, Tariq already loved another girl and wanted to talk to his father about marrying her. Should he decide to stand up and object to his father, or stay quiet and marry a girl for whom he has no affection? This dilemma concerns all three points of the ethical triangle: The situation, the person, and the norms.

Possible Courses of Action

There are two possible courses of action in this dilemma. The first is for Tariq to say nothing and get married to Eman. The second is for him to object to his father and risk angering him and possibly losing the love of his family. Both actions can be analyzed by linking them to the three sides of the triangle.

Saying Nothing

The situation angle shows there is a chance that he grows to love Eman during their marriage. However, he would have to lose the person he loves right now. His family would be happy to see him married to the person they chose, and his father would save his reputation. However, he could end up in an unhappy marriage with no one being happy (Al-Darmaki et al., 2014).

Analyzing his personal feelings shows how conflicting he is about this decision. He has no affection toward Eman so he would have to struggle to accept this outcome. His love for another woman could lead him to cheat on his wife making the marriage even more stressful. Tariq loves his family and does not want to let them down. His fear of his father would also play into choosing this outcome.

The norms consider arranged marriage a tradition so they would support him choosing to stay quiet. This action would also improve Abdulla’s reputation among the family (Soffan, 2016).

If Tariq chooses to oppose his father, it will make other outcomes possible. Tariq could marry the girl he loves against the will of his father. While it would undoubtedly sour their relationships, it does not guarantee that his family would see it this way.

Personally, it would support his feelings of love, and he might even feel righteous doing it. However, his relationships with his family would be at risk.

The norms would not support this decision because it would break tradition. This action would also negatively affect the reputation of his father.

Care ethics focus on maintaining respectful relationships with people (Shafer-Landau, 2015). Going by this theory, Tariq can justify putting his personal feelings aside to save the maximum amount of positive relationships. His family would be happy, Eman could be happy, and his father would feel like he helped bring his family together.

Contractarianism argues that law and social norms are above all (Shafer-Landau, 2015). Using this theory, he could justify staying quiet to uphold tradition and not break any social norms.

Empathy ethics dictate that an ethical action should consider the feelings of others. Tariq can justify not saying anything by thinking about his father’s feelings, the feelings of Eman and his family(Shafer-Landau, 2015).

Egoism theory states that maximum personal gain makes for an ethical decision (Shafer-Landau, 2015). Tariq can choose this theory to disregard any negative outcomes and follow his personal feelings. His relationships will be affected, but he would do what he desires to do.

Consequentialism is a utilitarian theory that before an action is made, the best alternative should be considered (Shafer-Landau, 2015). He can justify this action by examining the negatives of a loveless marriage. Arranged marriages often do not have children (Ghimire & Axinn, 2013). Without him, she would be able to find another suitor (Gupta, 2013). Although arranged marriage is a tradition, it is on the decline so that this action would be understood (Allendorf & Pandian, 2016).

Virtue ethics argue ethics argue that an action can be justified based on virtues. Tariq is an honest young man and it would be considered virtuous to say the truth (Shafer-Landau, 2015).

Personal Response and Conclusion

Personally, I support objecting in this case. Going by the consequentialism theory, I analyzed the negative of arranged marriages and found that it would likely result in no one being happy.

Such ethical dilemmas are still prevalent in our lives. Every time a young man has to make a decision with severe consequences. Perhaps in the future, we will be able to resolve these issues with better communication.

Al-Darmaki, F., Hassane, S., Ahammed, S., Abdullah, A., Yaaqeib, S., & Dodeen, H. (2014). Marital satisfaction in the United Arab Emirates: Development and validation of a culturally relevant scale. Journal of Family Issues , 37 (12), 1703-1729. Web.

Allendorf, K. & Pandian, R. (2016). The decline of arranged marriage? Marital change and continuity in India. Population and Development Review , 42 (3), 435-464. Web.

Ghimire, D., & Axinn, W. (2013). Marital processes, arranged marriage, and contraception to limit fertility. Demography , 50 (5), 1663-1686. Web.

Gupta, B. (2013). Where have all the brides gone? Son preference and marriage in India over the twentieth century. The Economic History Review , 67 (1), 1-24. Web.

Shafer-Landau, R. (2015). The fundamentals of ethics . New York, NY: Oxford University Press.

Soffan, L. (2016). The women of the United Arab Emirates . Abingdon, UK: Routledge.

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18 Arranged Marriage Pros and Cons

Until the 18th century, arranged marriages were considered normal, with family members (usually grandparents or parents) setting up the arrangement. Some exceptions occurred in various cultures, such as the Gandharva marriages, but otherwise, it was an expectation to follow.

Even through the 1950s, arranged marriages were still prevalent in the United States. Within the Japanese-American culture, they were sometimes called “pictured-bride” weddings because the two parties involved would only exchange pictures until they met on their wedding day.

When countries increase their economic value, there is a trend of increasing individualism which rises too. Added social mobility combines with these factors to reduce the need for an arranged or placed marriage. Even so, some cultures still follow this practice, including family groups in North America and Europe.

Here are the pros and cons of having an arranged marriage.

List of the Pros of Arranged Marriage

1. It eliminates the stress of trying to find a life partner. Although choice is limited when an arranged marriage occurs, the individuals involved are left with fewer questions. They’re not forced into a dating scene or mandated to defend their values to someone. People with this type of relationship often come from similar backgrounds, ethnicities, or cultures, which gives them common ground. With the certainty included with this arrangement, each person is free to pursue other personal interests instead of spending time search for that special someone.

2. It keeps parents involved in the relationship. When society encourages individualism in the selection of a marriage partner, the family unit becomes secondary to the intimate relationship. Cultural norms, such as asking a father for permission to marry, become unwritten rules that encourage inclusion. There is no requirement to follow them, however, and that can leave parents, grandparents, and other family members get to remain involved.

3. It creates harmony within both families. Marriages are classified into four basic types: forced arranged marriages, consensual arranged marriages, self-selected marriages, and autonomous marriages. Wealthy nations promote the latter option, which means the parents or guardians of both individuals are not consulted and have no say in the final arrangement. This process forces two families together which may not be compatible with one another. Arranged marriages are based on the principle that each family receives a benefit from the relationship formation.

4. It keeps people rooted in their family, culture, and ethics. People change as they age. Our experiences, ideas, and relationships all form the foundation of who we are. After an autonomous marriage, husbands show an increase in conscientiousness, while wives show a decrease in openness. Husbands become introverted, and both partners reduce their social networks. You also become less agreeable in marriage, while wives show higher levels of emotional stability. With an arranged marriage, the negative aspects of being together are tempered because there is advance preparation involved. You stay rooted in who you are as a culture because there are more similarities than differences involved.

5. It reduces conflict when children are involved. Families often separate when children come into the picture because of the differences each person (and family) has in how they should be raised. Differences in religion, spirituality, education, and discipline enforcement lead to conflicting ideas that negatively impact the child. With an arranged marriage being the foundation of the relationship, any children produced from the union have a higher chance of having parents who agree on these aspects of life, which eliminates much of the harmful conflict that children sometimes see as being their fault.

6. It is possible to find that special someone. Many people in an arranged marriage go into the first days of their relationship as if it were a business partnership. They have contracts to fulfill, so that’s what they do. Their relationship becomes the fulfillment of needs which both families have. Although there is always an element of risk to any relationship, most people can find their own niche to enjoy within an arranged marriage which allows them to find happiness in life. Love at first sight is even possible, though unlikely.

7. It places the emphasis of the relationship outside of emotion. For non-arranged marriages, the emphasis of the relationship is based on the emotional reactions each person has to the other. The formation of an arranged relationship is a little different. Romantic love is still a priority for many, but it is not the primary element being pursued. Couples in this situation place their first emphasis on creating a successful partnership, which allows both of them to commit to a long-term process. That effort creates more stability for both people to enjoy.

List of the Cons of Arranged Marriage

1. It increases the risk of child marriage. When children are married, especially younger than the age of 12, then they are not prepared for the idea of free choice. Although not practiced in Europe or North America, the poverty in Eastern Asia, Latin America, and Sub-Saharan Africa force families into a choice between school or a merging of their families for pure survival. The arranged marriage ensures the financial security of their child, even if it puts them into a place of physical harm.

2. It places the burden of financial responsibility on the daughter. When communities are impoverished, every mouth to feed becomes a continuing liability. Most cultures that struggle with poverty have societal structures which make it difficult for women to find gainful employment. That means a daughter becomes the greatest financial burden a family can bear. By arranging a marriage as quickly as possible, the monetary obligations are reduced, which creates less food insecurity for everyone in the household.

3. It limits the choice of a life partner. This negative component of arranged marriages applies to migrant minority ethnic populations. If the majority population of the nation where they live avoids them, stereotypes them, or follows segregation or apartheid policies, then arranged marriages become the only way to continue family traditions. Up until 1980, the Sikh families of Canada practiced arranged marriages for this very reason. You still see them in Hasidic Jew populations. Up until the 1960s, Japanese immigrants to the U.S. also engaged in this practice. Although it guarantees a marriage, it reduces the choices available for life partnerships.

4. It eliminates the dating phase of life. There is something to be said of putting yourself out there for someone to see if you and they are compatible with one another. Although breakups are emotionally challenging, the process of courtship creates more possibilities that a good match will be found. You get to explore partnership and personality types to see what you prefer and what you do not. Although the divorce rate for arranged marriages is widely reported as 6% (compared to 55% of all marriages in existence right now), your relationship is not treated as a business partnership.

5. It makes couples feel alienated from their families. When there is a rush to start a new union, everyone in the family wants to be involved in the relationship in some way. For the couple getting married, it can feel like your wedding isn’t really yours at all. In an arranged marriage, some families may not allow the bride, the groom, or both parties to have any say in what happens. Everything about the day may come at you in surprise, which creates an unsettling experience for those involved.

6. It avoids the issue of personal accountability. In self-selection and autonomous wedding structures, the couple bears a majority of the responsibility for the quality of their relationship. They’re forced to work together to make things work. With an arranged marriage, there is no responsibility required by either party. If the marriage doesn’t work, it’s the parents or grandparents to blame instead of the married couple. Many families will interfere in the marriage at multiple levels as a proactive way to prevent the blaming process from starting in the first place.

7. It eliminates love from the equation. Although there are numerous arranged marriages which involve love, emotions are not a priority when this relationship is first arranged. No one cares if you can or will fall in love with the other person. As long as the families get along, and there is a mutual benefit to the relationship, then that becomes the definition of success. That means one partner can find themselves trapped in great misery because they don’t like their partner and don’t want to disappoint their family. The divorce rates for arranged marriages are much lower than other types, but it may be due to a sense of obligation or responsibility more than a lack of overall compatibility.

8. It forces you to live with a stranger. Some arranged marriages allow the prospective partners to meet before their wedding day. Many of these relationships do not. That means each person steps blindly to the altar, wondering who it is they are going to meet. Instead of marrying your best friend, you’re getting involved in a contract with a complete stranger. The amount of time it takes someone to develop feelings through traditional courtship in the wealthier nations is similar to the time required for an arranged couple to get to know one another.

9. It increases the risks of mental health issues. With an arranged marriage, there is the possibility that individual preferences will be sacrificed for the greater good of everyone else involved. A decision to ignore oneself for the good of others creates a higher risk for psychological damage over time. If meaningful coping mechanisms are not introduced, unhappy people can suffer from anxiety, stress, and depression at higher rates. If their partner is cold, uncaring, or abusive, their risks of mental health concerns rise even higher.

10. It allows men to have more control than women typically. In the cultures where arranged marriages are considered standard, the men in the relationship have more control over the women. That occurs because the man is seen as being the leader of the family and household. And the issue is even worse for people who identify with the LGBTQIA+ community, as they may be forced into a relationship with someone that they’re not attracted to at all. In these situations, the affected parties may be entering a relationship that lacks independence.

11. It takes time to establish trust. Most couples who go through an arranged marriage don’t have the time necessary to get to know one another before exchanging vows. For the first weeks, months, or even years of the relationship in some cases, severe trust issues make it difficult for the relationship to work. There may not be any intimacy, physical contact, or conversations involved. Even when each partner knows what is expected of them, there is a higher risk of experiencing an unfulfilling life.

These arranged marriage pros and cons are just key points to consider. It is up to each person and family to decide what is the best course of action they should take. The only exception to that statement would involve forced child marriages, which are exceptionally condemned by the international community. More cultures than not practice consensual arrangements like this, so exploring how to improve that relationship with these observations will become a top priority.

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Arranged Marriage Essays Examples

Type of paper: Essay

Topic: Social Issues , Freedom , Marriage , Love , Arranged Marriage , Family , Children , Relationships

Published: 02/21/2020

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Marriage is one of the critical issues in society. As a matter of fact, the roles and functions of marriage make it one f the important union in human race. Those who are religious will assert that marriage was actually instituted by God and this makes it a crucial issue. Arranged marriage is one of the types of marriage, but in this case the marital union is decided by third parties. It is a type of marriage where the groom and the bride are selected by other people rather than making their own decision on who to marry. In the past, this seemed to be the norm but the trend seems to behave continued in some culture or societies. The family members in most cases become part of those bringing the couples together. The parents are in the forefront in approving the potential partner for their children. In fact, the couples may even marry without knowing each other expecting that love will develop and become the best. In general perspective, this is unrealistic situation and brings out various reasons why being against arranged marriage is justified. Regardless of the religion that we belong, arranged marriage is not good. One of the main reason that drives many people to be against arranged marriage is the fact that there is no chemistry and physical attraction between the couples (Hylton, 2013). Research shows that in a marriage there should be bio-chemically compatibility between the two partners who want to get married. Hence, there is no need of putting people at risk. Marriage is actually a life time commitment and arranged marriages id putting the couples on a life time situation against their will. The chemistry between people who want to get married must grow and flourish automatically (Divakaruni, 2011). In arranged marriages love may not grow forever. There is a possibility that the partners do not like each other and focus more on their personalities. This means that the intimacy and the chemistry between the couples will never grow. An arranged marriage is not good because people have no time to learn various characters of the other partner. In most cases, people hide their personalities that may be abusive or flawed in nature. The abusive personality will come into play when individuals are already married, leaving one of the partner in marriage stressed (Hahn, 2011). Arranged marriage does not give the couples an opportunity to learn and tolerate each other characters and personality before getting married. This issue can also be said in non-arranged marriage but it becomes more harmful in arranged marriages due to the fact that you never made the choice. Arranged marriages denounce divorce leaving room for no easy escape. It is worth noting that divorce in arranged marriages comes with very severe penalties. The political, social and religious focus on divorce seems to be complex (Hylton, 2013). People focus more on the arranged marriage rather than focusing on the personal situation of an individual. In fact, people believe that abandoning arranged marriage can lead to lifetime problems. Arranged marriages have no room for free will and free decision making. Regardless of the fact that the couples are given an opportunity to meet before giving consent sound better, but if the couples refuse to consent the relatives go ahead and make the marriage official. In the 21st century, there are various risks associated to marriage, which may include STD and one could want to be tested before marriage. Arranged marriage leaves no room for this cautious and reasonable process. Arranged marriages have lead to abusive and exploitation, especially on the state of guise arranged marriage. In some occasions, arranged marriage may involve underage children, immigration fraud, and other forms of forced marriages. Therefore, the arranged marriages may be carried out in unlawful circumstances (Divakaruni, 2011). There are communities that arrange marriage for their children regardless of age, education schedule or other programs that individuals wish to accomplish before marriage. The arranged marriages violate the rights and freedom of people as stated by the law. Everyone has the right and freedom to choose who they want to get married to. The couples who are victims of forced marriage did not get an opportunity to enjoy this right and freedom. Those who arrange marriage for their children do not respect the desires and needs of their children. This means that the parents are nit sensitive to the desires of the children, which is not fair to the children (Hahn & Austen, 2011). Parents should be in the forefront on protecting the desires and needs of their children. Arranged marriages mostly driven by financial gain and social status at the expense of the happiness of children. There is a big possibility that arranged marriages will bring people who are not compatible. On the other hand those in support of arranged marriages have come up with reasons to support it. These include cultural and religious issues, financial and dynastic gain, and more so the parents take full control of their children life. In general perspective, arranged marriages are bad and should not be supported. Marriage should be a decision made by the couples in free will.

Divakaruni, C. (2011). Arranged Marriage. New York: Wadsworth Hahn, J. (2011). An Arranged Marriage. California: Wiley Hahn, J., & Austen, J. (2011). An arranged marriage. Oysterville, WA: Meryton Press. Hylton, S. (2013). An Arranged Marriage. London: Wiley

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