pros and cons of self isolation essay

The Virtues of Isolation

Under the right circumstances, choosing to spend time alone can be a huge psychological boon.

In the ’80s, the Italian journalist and author Tiziano Terzani, after many years of reporting across Asia, holed himself up in a cabin in Ibaraki Prefecture, Japan. “For a month I had no one to talk to except my dog Baoli,” he wrote in his travelogue A Fortune Teller Told Me . Terzani passed the time with books, observing nature, “listening to the winds in the trees, watching butterflies, enjoying silence.” For the first time in a long while he felt free from the incessant anxieties of daily life: “At last I had time to have time.”

But Terzani’s embrace of seclusion was relatively unusual: Humans have long stigmatized solitude. It has been considered an inconvenience, something to avoid, a punishment, a realm of loners. Science has often aligned it with negative outcomes. Freud, who linked solitude with anxiety, noted that, “in children the first phobias relating to situations are those of darkness and solitude.” John Cacioppo, a modern social neuroscientist who has extensively studied loneliness—what he calls “chronic perceived isolation”—contends that, beyond damaging our thinking powers, isolation can even harm our physical health. But increasingly scientists are approaching solitude as something that, when pursued by choice, can prove therapeutic.

This is especially true in times of personal turbulence, when the instinct is often for people to reach outside of themselves for support. “When people are experiencing crisis it’s not always just about you: It’s about how you are in society,” explains Jack Fong, a sociologist at California State Polytechnic University who has studied solitude. “When people take these moments to explore their solitude, not only will they be forced to confront who they are, they just might learn a little bit about how to out-maneuver some of the toxicity that surrounds them in a social setting.”

In other words, when people remove themselves from the social context of their lives, they are better able to see how they’re shaped by that context. Thomas Merton, a Trappist monk and writer who spent years alone, held a similar notion . “We cannot see things in perspective until we cease to hug them to our bosom,” he writes in Thoughts in Solitude.

Much of this self-reconfiguring happens through what Fong calls “existentializing moments,” mental flickers of clarity which can occur during inward-focused solitude. Fong developed this idea from the late German-American sociologist Kurt Wolff’s “surrender and catch” theory of personal epiphany. “When you have these moments, don't fight it. Accept it for what it is. Let it emerge calmly and truthfully and don't resist it,” Fong says. “Your alone time should not be something that you're afraid of.”

Yet, at the same time, it is not only about being alone. “It’s a deeper internal process,” notes Matthew Bowker, a psychoanalytic political theorist at Medaille College who has researched solitude. Productive solitude requires internal exploration, a kind of labor which can be uncomfortable, even excruciating. “It might take a little bit of work before it turns into a pleasant experience. But once it does it becomes maybe the most important relationship anybody ever has, the relationship you have with yourself.”

Yet today, in our hyper-connected society, Bowker believes that solitude is “more devalued than it has been in a long time.” He points to a recent study at the University of Virginia in which several participants–a quarter of the women and two-thirds of the men–chose to subject themselves to electric shock rather than be alone with their thoughts. Bowker sees this heightened distaste for solitude playing out in pop culture as well. For example, vampires used to be portrayed in stories as secluded hermits, whereas now you’re more likely to see them on camera as sexy socialites, he notes.

And even though many great thinkers have championed the intellectual and spiritual benefits of solitude–Lao Tzu, Moses, Nietzsche, Emerson, Woolf (“How much better is silence; the coffee cup, the table”)– many modern humans seem hell-bent on avoiding it. “Every time we have a chance to go running we plug in our headphones. Every time we sit in the car we listen to NPR,” laments Bowker. “I mean, my students today tell me they can’t go to the bathroom without their phone on.”

This is not to say that true solitude necessarily requires an absence of stimuli. Rather, “the value of solitude depends on whether an individual can find an interior solitude” within themselves, says Bowker. Everyone is different in that regard: “Some people can go for a walk or listen to music and feel that they are deeply in touch with themselves. Others cannot.”

Generally, Bowker contends that our “mistrust of solitude” has consequences. For one, “we’ve become a more groupish society,” he says. In A Dangerous Place to Be: Identity, Conflict, and Trauma in Higher Education , an upcoming book Bowker co-authored with David Levine, a psychoanalyst at the University of Denver, the authors trace a line between the devaluing of solitude and the ongoing ideological conflicts afflicting college campuses. “We’re drawn to identity-markers and to groups that help us define [ourselves]. In the simplest terms, this means using others to fill out our identities, rather than relying on something internal, something that comes from within,” Bowker says. “Separating from the group, I would argue, is one thing that universities should be facilitating more.”

That is where solitude comes in. Such a separation requires what psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott called the “capacity to be alone.” This is key to Bowker’s idea of solitude as self-strengthening.  “You have to have that capacity: the ability to know that you’re gonna survive, that you’re gonna be okay if you’re not supported by this group,” Bowker says. “Put another way, a person who can find a rich self-experience in a solitary state is far less likely to feel lonely when alone.”

T here is a catch to all of this: For solitude to be beneficial, certain preconditions must be met. Kenneth Rubin, a developmental psychologist at the University of Maryland, calls them the “ifs.” Solitude can be productive only: if it is voluntary, if one can regulate one’s emotions “effectively,” if one can join a social group when desired, and if one can maintain positive relationships outside of it. When such conditions aren’t met, yes, solitude can be harmful. Consider the hikikomori phenomenon in Japan, where hundreds of thousands of depressed or troubled young people quarter themselves away, sometimes for years, often requiring extensive reintegration therapy to move on. The difference between solitude as rejuvenation and solitude as suffering is the quality of self-reflection that one can generate while in it, and the ability to come back to social groups when one wants to.

When preconditions are met, solitude can be restorative. For Fong, who meditates 15 minutes a day and takes monthly solo camping trips, it is at least as essential as exercise or healthy eating. Possibly, he says, it is necessary for a truly healthy mind. “It really lifts you out of problems. It really, really has a powerful function for making you understand your predicament in this universe,” he says.

Yet, because the study of solitude as a positive force is new, it’s hard to speak in precise scientific terms about it: We don’t know what the ideal amount is, for instance, or even if there is one. Most likely, such measures are different for everybody. But researchers recommended taking it where you can get it, by meditating, taking solo walks or going on camping trips alone. Bowker makes a point of driving in silence. The point is to be away from social interaction and looking inward, however this may be achieved for you. “Solitude does not have form,” says Fong. “It is amorphous.”

After his month-long seclusion in Japan, during which he “put [himself] back together,” Terzani, already a well-known reporter in Italy, went on to build a successful career as an author. Though he was an atheist , Terzani gained an almost religious following for his later writings, much of which interweaved reportage with personal experience and philosophical musings. After his death in 2004 from stomach cancer, the adoption of him as a guru-like figure was something which some intellectuals bemoaned, calling it a disservice to his message. “The only real teacher is not in a forest, or a hut or an ice cave in the Himalayas,” he once remarked. “It is within us.” One imagines him reaching the conclusion alone.

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Things To Do By Yourself

Doing Things Alone Is Beneficial to Your Health

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Steven Gans, MD is board-certified in psychiatry and is an active supervisor, teacher, and mentor at Massachusetts General Hospital.

Verywell / Brianna Gilmartin 

• Alone vs. Lonely
• Things to Do
• Benefits of Alone Time

How to Be Alone

Solitude gets a bad rap because it's often equated with loneliness. But research has found real benefits to doing things alone. It allows you to enjoy activities you love at your own pace and in your own way, for instance. There are also mental health benefits of being alone , enabling you to learn more about yourself and reflect on your experiences.

If you're wondering what you can do when by yourself, there are several activities good for solo individuals and many benefits of engaging in these solitary pursuits. First, it's important to understand the difference between being alone and being lonely as they're not the same thing.

Being Alone vs. Being Lonely

Loneliness involves being isolated despite wanting social connections, whereas being alone means taking time for yourself between regular social interactions. You can be lonely even when in the presence of others. You can also be alone without having feelings of loneliness .

While there are downsides to loneliness, evidence suggests that a certain amount of time alone is critical to well-being—especially as we get older. Doing things by yourself can increase your feelings of peace and solitude. It also helps you avoid the distractions, opinions, or influences of others.

Even though people sometimes fear seclusion, many prefer and actively seek solitude (often referred to as unsociability).  Our desire for alone time is influenced by our personality . Where extroverts often dislike being alone, for instance, introverts tend to prefer it.

Of course, just because you may be introverted doesn't mean you want to be alone all the time. Even the most introverted of people benefit from social engagement. Being an extrovert also doesn't mean you aren’t capable of enjoying your own company. Even if you naturally seek a crowd, you can learn how to enjoy time to yourself now and then.

Times When Solitude Can Be Beneficial

• It's voluntary
• You also maintain positive relationships
• You can engage with social groups when desired
• You feel good about spending time alone

Things to Do By Yourself

If you are naturally drawn to other people, finding activities to enjoy on your own might seem difficult at first. Adding some quiet moments where you can be alone can come with a number of benefits, particularly if you are always on the go and find it hard to slow down and take breaks.

Some things to try include:

Take yourself out to dinner. Dining out is often viewed as a social experience. However, treating yourself to a nice solo meal can give you a chance to relax and enjoy the experience in peace.

Go to the movies alone. It’s not like you spend a lot of time socializing in the middle of a film, but being with other people means you might be distracted wondering what they think of the movie and what they might have to say later. Seeing a film alone means you can fully focus on the story and visuals in front of you without wondering about what your companions might think.

See your favorite band or musician by yourself. Not only will you get to see your favorites without having to worry about finding people who want to go with you, seeing a concert alone can be a great way to meet other people with whom you share common interests. You might be doing something on your own but it can actually help widen your social circle.

Go for a hike. Spending time in nature can be great for your health, improving your mental and physical health. It can sometimes be tough to find people who want to join you. Going alone can give you a chance to connect with nature, challenge your body, and enjoy some peaceful solitude.

If you do hike alone, take necessary safety precautions. While the point is to be by yourself, make sure someone knows where you will be and always have the ability to contact the outside world if needed.

Travel solo. Vacationing alone may seem intimidating, but it can also be an exciting and rewarding way to challenge yourself and learn new things. Some people find that traveling alone is also a great way to bring more positivity and self-growth into their lives.

Learn something new. Sign up for a class where you can learn a new skill, whether it’s cooking, archery, art, dance, or some other hobby that has always interested you. Instead of being focused on doing what other people want to do, you can pursue something that satisfies your own interests.

Visit a museum. Wandering through a museum on your own is a great way to spend time looking at the exhibits you’re interested in and skip the ones you're not. It also means that you can check out things at your own pace and react to exhibits without wondering what other people are thinking.

Volunteer. Research has shown that volunteering provides many positive benefits, including improved life satisfaction and higher self-esteem. Look for opportunities in your community where you can devote time to a cause you are passionate about.

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Benefits of Being Alone

There are benefits to spending time on your own, as long as you balance it by maintaining strong and supportive social connections. Here are several to consider.

Improves Concentration and Memory

When you are working in a group, you might exert less effort to memorize information because you assume that others in the group will fill in the gaps, a phenomenon known as social loafing . Working on things alone can help you focus your attention, which can improve your retention and recall.

In one study published in the journal Psychological Bulletin, researchers found that groups working collaboratively to recall information performed worse than individuals recalling things on their own.

Your Interests Are a Priority

Spending time alone gives you time to focus on your interests. It's an important part of self-development and allows you to get to know yourself.

When you are surrounded by others, you might set your own ideas and passions aside to appease the wants and needs of friends and family. Taking time on your own gives you the opportunity to make creative choices and focus your attention without worrying about what other people are thinking.

Boosts Creativity

Collaborative brainstorming is often seen as one of the best ways to generate new ideas. However, research has found that people are just as good at solving difficult problems when they work on their own. Where group efforts are often about achieving consensus and fitting in with the crowd, solo work encourages innovation without added social pressure.

Improves Your Relationships

Relationships are often strongest when each person takes time to take care of themselves. Even when it comes to friendships, the old adage may be true—a little absence might really make the heart grow fonder.

A study published in the British Journal of Psychology found that highly intelligent people actually become less satisfied the more time they spend socializing with friends.  

Having friendships and a strong social support system is important for your mental health and well-being. At the same time, taking a break and going solo once in a while may help you appreciate those connections all the more.

Makes You More Empathetic

A certain amount of alone time can help you have greater empathy for the people around you. Of course, getting time alone isn’t always easy, particularly when technology has transformed how people spend time alone. Even when you are by yourself, you may never take a break from communicating with others. After all, they’re just a text, tweet, or DM away.

In cases where you are not able to get time completely by yourself, cutting back on digital communication for a brief time might be helpful. In one study, researchers found that when teens went five days without communication devices, they improved their ability to interpret emotions and facial expressions.

Being alone doesn’t come naturally to everyone. If you are used to surrounding yourself with friends and family or even prefer the company of strangers, learning to appreciate the joys of going solo may take some time.

• Make a plan. The best alone time often happens when you set aside a specific period to be by yourself. It shouldn’t be forced isolation that leaves you feeling withdrawn or anti-social. Instead, set aside an evening or a weekend for a little refreshing “me time.”
• Eliminate distractions. If you find yourself tempted to work, check out social media, or talk on the phone when alone, start by turning off any potentially distracting devices. Leave your laptop and phone aside and focus on doing something you don’t normally get to do on your own.
• Learn to value solitude. In an ever-connected world that often devalues being alone, it is important to remember the importance of taking time to spend with just your own thoughts.

Of course, you don't need to completely escape all forms of external stimulation when you are alone. The key is to engage in activities that allow you to feel a sense of inner solitude. Some people can achieve this feeling while listening to music or reading a book, while others might require the quiet of a peaceful meditation session .

Find what works for you. Then, make sure you have regular moments where you can retreat to this quiet mental space.

Whether you are an introvert who thrives on solitude or a gregarious extrovert who loves to socialize, a little high-quality time to yourself can be good for your overall well-being. Choosing to be alone at times can be rejuvenating, especially if it is something you choose and something you enjoy.

The trick is to remember that this alone time is for focusing on you—for cultivating your passions, finding new inspirations, getting to know yourself better, or even engaging in some much-needed rest and relaxation. Even when you are busy, pencil in a little time each week for some moments of seclusion.

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By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."