essay to get into school

Ultimate Guide to Writing Your College Essay

Tips for writing an effective college essay.

College admissions essays are an important part of your college application and gives you the chance to show colleges and universities your character and experiences. This guide will give you tips to write an effective college essay.

Want free help with your college essay?

UPchieve connects you with knowledgeable and friendly college advisors—online, 24/7, and completely free. Get 1:1 help brainstorming topics, outlining your essay, revising a draft, or editing grammar.

Writing a strong college admissions essay

Learn about the elements of a solid admissions essay.

Avoiding common admissions essay mistakes

Learn some of the most common mistakes made on college essays

Brainstorming tips for your college essay

Stuck on what to write your college essay about? Here are some exercises to help you get started.

How formal should the tone of your college essay be?

Learn how formal your college essay should be and get tips on how to bring out your natural voice.

Taking your college essay to the next level

Hear an admissions expert discuss the appropriate level of depth necessary in your college essay.

Student Stories

Student Story: Admissions essay about a formative experience

Get the perspective of a current college student on how he approached the admissions essay.

Student Story: Admissions essay about personal identity

Get the perspective of a current college student on how she approached the admissions essay.

Student Story: Admissions essay about community impact

Student story: admissions essay about a past mistake, how to write a college application essay, tips for writing an effective application essay, sample college essay 1 with feedback, sample college essay 2 with feedback.

This content is licensed by Khan Academy and is available for free at www.khanacademy.org.

• Affiliate Program

• UNITED STATES
• 台灣 (TAIWAN)
• TÜRKIYE (TURKEY)
• Academic Editing Services
• - Research Paper
• - Journal Manuscript
• - Dissertation
• - College & University Assignments
• Admissions Editing Services
• - Application Essay
• - Personal Statement
• - Recommendation Letter
• - Cover Letter
• - CV/Resume
• Business Editing Services
• - Business Documents
• - Report & Brochure
• - Website & Blog
• Writer Editing Services
• - Script & Screenplay
• Our Editors
• Client Reviews
• Editing & Proofreading Prices
• Wordvice Points
• Partner Discount
• Plagiarism Checker
• APA Citation Generator
• MLA Citation Generator
• Chicago Citation Generator
• Vancouver Citation Generator
• - APA Style
• - MLA Style
• - Chicago Style
• - Vancouver Style
• Writing & Editing Guide
• Academic Resources
• Admissions Resources

How to Write a College Admissions Essay for Top Schools

The gates of academia will open much easier with a strong college or university admissions essay.

Most top colleges and universities require you to include an application essay or personal statement when you submit your application. But how do Ivy League and other elite schools differ from your average state or private college when it comes to admissions essays? The answer lies in the details.

Writing a strong admissions essay is not the easiest task—it will almost certainly take a significant amount of time and dedication. Admissions committees weigh  high school grades  and  test scores  above almost everything else as determiners of potential for academic success. However, because selective colleges receive applications from many worthy students, and since major universities in the US have cut their acceptance rates almost in half due to factors such as increasing numbers of international applications, the application essay (along with  letters of recommendation  and extracurricular activities) may prove to be your best bet for standing out among the thousands of other talented and worthy candidates.

Setting Yourself Apart from the Other Candidates

Admissions officers read thousands of admissions essays each year. So if your essay tells a similar story to those of everyone else, it isn’t likely that your application will end up in the “Accepted” pile. So rather than trying to impress the admissions committee by recounting endless dry details about your subject or about their school in an attempt to sound more like a “model student,” think about how to actually distinguish yourself from others. Ask yourself: “What makes me unique?  What am I passionate about or do I excel at, even if it isn’t what everyone else is doing? What do I care about most in the world? What factors and/or experiences in my life have shaped me into the person I have become at the time of writing this essay?”

Many applicants will write about subjects that don’t truly interest them to try and impress the judges. Others simply tell a story from A to B to C, listing things they have done but including no narrative theme of development, growth, learning, or triumph over difficulties. Distinguish yourself by turning your story into THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE–and include a beginning, middle, and end that sum up who you are and why you are not only intelligent enough but  interesting  enough to attend this school.

So how do you write a narrative in the form of a personal essay that both informative and captivating; both intimate and somewhat academic?

Luckily there are models you can use—many hundreds of thousands of college applicants have trod this road before you, and hundreds of sites publish successful admissions papers that you can (and should) read to see the common elements that make them effective. Think of the tips below as a kind of map to both plan out your route and then check to see if you are on the right path to writing a strong admissions essay that will make any admissions committee think to themselves, “Now THIS is a sincere and interesting person who belongs at our vaunted learning institution!”

Tips for Writing an Effective College Admissions Essay

Focus on what you care about most.

Consider this a kind of brainstorming exercise. Close your eyes and imagine what drives you, motivates you, excites you, inspires you to pursue great things (or at least fantasize about doing them). This might include a hobby, a genre of music, an important person in your life, a pivotal memory or experience, a book—anything meaningful that you consider part of your identity or that defines you. Start by making a list of these things and creating a  word web  of other relevant or secondary aspects of this one idea, person, object, or experience. Write some brief sentences about exactly why it is important to you. Once you have your list and a few sentences written, it should be a bit easier to narrow your topic to just one or two things at most.

Use experiences that everyone can relate to but that make your story unique

Brainstorming exercise #2. Experiences are formative. Think about an experience in your life that changed you, changed your mind about something, or even set you off on a particular path that was unexpected. Perhaps you visited Berklee School of Music Summer Camp for a month when you were seventeen and it inspired you not to dedicate your life professionally to music, but to travel the world and seek your fortune in international relations. (Okay, that one might be a bit too autobiographical for this simple article…) You don’t need to recount a story of your precocious business success or have spent a year sailing the world with your family to have an interesting story to tell. Admissions officers want students who are thoughtful, motivated, even somewhat imaginative—students who will likely make a fantastic contribution to their school in their first year. From a narrative perspective, consider using this experience as a jumping-off point for a bigger lesson about life or education, and then return to this experience towards the end of your essay. This narrative structure presents an excellent way to frame a story and is common in many successful admissions essays.

Provide a beginning, middle, and end in your story—and include some twists and turns

Speaking of narrative structure, when you include the basic plot elements of setting, introduction, conflict, and resolution, not only will your essay be more fun to read, it will be easier to write. And when writing is easier, you are usually having more fun and pouring more of yourself into your writing. You will find that this often translates into a more compelling story as well since passion and interest are hallmarks of any good story told to a friend or included on the page of an adventure or romance novel. When structuring your narrative arc, include the lessons you have learned from these experiences: How did you change? What did you learn? What did/do you plan to do differently because of these experiences? Anyone can write about how they won first place in a competition or spent a fantastic vacation in Europe. The important stuff is not in the itinerary, but rather in the diary–what you learned from the experience and how it impacted you.

Recount a time when you overcame a difficulty, focusing on what you learned and how it impacted you

While we are on the subject of life lessons, let’s spend a little more time focusing on the “learning” part—the growth, development, life lessons, and changes in attitude and potential actions in the future. Writing about how great you were at chess growing up and recounting your consistent tournament successes might show that you are really good at chess. But real dedication is proven through failure and perseverance.

Don’t repeat yourself

Was there ever a time in your life where you thought you couldn’t go on doing something because it was too hard, but you somehow pulled through and accomplished what you needed or wanted to by some force of will or tenacity? Maybe you failed miserably in your first few chess tournaments, but despite your parents’ and friends’ desire for you to just give up, you dedicated yourself to practicing and studying chess moves two hours a night. And when you eventually won that first tournament (and then lost a few later but still didn’t give up), the sweetness of that experience was also mixed with the lessons you had gained about success, failure, and the necessity of the latter to understand the former. If you choose to write this kind of story about overcoming failure or a profound difficulty (financial, emotional, physical, etc.), don’t forget to focus significantly on the “lesson” part. Demonstrating to the admissions officers that you are able to grasp these lessons and make sense of these relationships (which are always crucial in school as in life) will greatly develop the impression of you as a thoughtful and capable person, and therefore a good candidate for admission to a great college.

As an editor who has read and proofread hundreds of admissions essays, I have seen my fair share of essays that simply repeat the same information in different terms. Cycling one experience or talent throughout your essay without adding relevant details or expounding on its importance makes your essay dry and boring and wastes a lot of precious space that could otherwise be spent sculpting your ideas into something more reflective about what you have learned and how you have developed. Here is an example of what I mean:

Opening paragraph : “I have always had a passion for ballet—it has been my life since I was six years old.” Second paragraph : “I continued doing ballet into my junior year of high school because of this passion. But then I had an accident and had to stop for six months. However, ballet remained my passion before, during and after this tragic event.” …Fifth paragraph : “Ballet has been my passion throughout my life, and although I have experienced difficulties, I never stopped loving it. It is this kind of passion for ballet that I intend to bring to my academic career as an undergraduate at your school.”

Sooooooo…do you think this person just might enjoy ballet? That much is clear from the start—but it could have been demonstrated by including details that  show  this passion rather than simply  telling  about it. And even if the author were to evidence this passion through actions and details, the repetition of one theme without expansion could still weaken the essay. Additionally, because the author spends so much time discussing ballet throughout the essay, once it comes time to connect this passion to something school- or life-related, they have run out of room to develop what could have been a really amazing idea or point about work, school, knowledge, passion, or life in general. Instead of repeating your facts about your passion or giving more and more details about it, zoom out and show its impact on how you approach other important facets of life. Discuss what important personal characteristics were/are needed to achieve a high level of skill: dedication to craft, daily energy and tenacity, the ability to follow directions but also to grow and eventually “fly on your own when you hit the dance floor.” Some of this can be accomplished through fancy rhetoric. But because most college essays must be a thousand words or fewer, a better strategy would be to expand on your main interest or experience and show how it impacts other crucial areas in your life.

Write several drafts…then revise…then write it again

We get it—writing is difficult. For many it can seem like pure torture to sit for hours on end and put together a self-introduction that not only satisfies all of the basic requirements of a personal essay or “narrative resume,” but which will also supplement your grades and test scores and accomplish this monumental goal of getting you into your school of choice, especially if that school happens to have a fantastic reputation and a list of applicants a mile long. Not everyone is a born writer—in fact, pretty much no one is. And this is why it is absolutely essential that you give yourself some time to not only finish the first draft of your essay but to edit and revise your work and even rewrite the essay again if necessary. Why is it important to write a second or third draft of your personal essay? For the same reason that architects don’t decide that a house is ready to be built after only one sketch. On subsequent viewings, revisions that you missed the first time around will appear. While you are writing the first draft, you are almost still in the process of brainstorming, at least on the level of the word or phrase if not the general ideas or concepts. When you revisit the work, you will see what you have written and often easily determine what needs to be revised, deleted, or rewritten altogether. Luckily, this process is usually more fun because you can already see what you have accomplished and are now simply “reworking the clay” into a more sophisticated and precise shape. Set the draft aside for a few days and then read it again. Imagine that you are an admissions officer and ask yourself as an objective reader: Is the essay interesting? Are the main points clear and do the ideas flow logically? If this person weren’t me, would I feel like I know them after reading this essay? Does it sound clinical and overly academic or does it have a more human and personal element? Answering these more general questions will help you see what parts need to be changed and in which ways. By the time you have written your third (and hopefully final?) draft, you can re-read the original draft and feel confident that you have made great improvements simply by re-reading the essay and making needed changes.

Let someone you trust read, proofread, and edit your essay

While revising and reworking the drafts is more of a “global” process, this step also includes changing phrases and fixing grammar, punctuation, and style errors in the work. However, the final task to complete before you submit your essay for scrutiny by your intended college or university is to receive editing and proofreading by someone who knows what they are doing—preferably someone whose ability and opinion you can trust. Far too many students neglect the importance of editing and proofreading their admissions essays. You need to ensure that your writing is not only free of grammar and punctuation errors but that it also has natural and appropriate language, flows logically, and contains anecdotes and other content that is more likely impress admissions committees (but, as we mentioned, not in a way that is cliche or forced). And as good of a writer as you may be, even the best authors use editors to improve their work and give it that extra layer of polish or extra “oomph.” And in fact,  an unedited essay is generally far less likely to get you into a great school —this is especially true if English is not your first language or if you have had limited experience writing essays.

Improve Your Application Essay with Professional Editing

One very accessible solution is to let a professional editing company revise your work—preferably a company that is reputable and employs highly qualified editors but is also affordable and can quickly deliver your edited essay. And according to an October 2019  article in  Wired.com , the company that currently best meets these standards is Wordvice English Editing & Proofreading Service . One  Wired  tech reviewer performed a blind study of four leading editing companies, evaluating them in terms of cost and quality of editing, and Wordvice came out on top. Now, how’s that for great word of mouth!

But don’t take our word for it. Check out our  Essay Editing Services  to find out how professional editing can impact your ability to get into top schools. See our services pages to learn more about personal statement editing and statement of purpose (SOP) editing as well.

Until you get to that point, follow the above tips and check out our  Admissions Writing Resources  for further writing assistance. Best of luck drafting your admissions essays!

Wordvice Admissions Resources

• 20 Tips for Writing a Strong Grad School Statement of Purpose
• 5 Admissions Essay Writing Tips
• How to Write the Common App Essay in 2022-2023
• How to Answer the 2022-2023 UC Personal Insight Questions
• Writing a Flawless CV for Graduate School
• Graduate School Recommendation Letter Templates and Examples

Additional Resources from Around the Web

• Crafting an Unforgettable College Essay  (Princeton Review)
• Tips for writing a paper and the problem of fake essays  (Good Morning America)
• Ten Reasons Why Your College Application Essay Might Get Rejected  (Trusted Essay Reviews)
• 4 College Admissions Essay Editing Services Reviewed  (Wired.com)

Choose Your Test

Sat / act prep online guides and tips, 11 places to find great college essay examples.

College Essays

 Sure, you might know the theory behind what a college essay is supposed to sound and look like . But just like reading a description of the Golden Gate Bridge pales in comparison to seeing it in person, there’s no replacement for seeing actual college essays written by students just like you. Well, almost like you – they’ve since gotten into college.

But where do you find good sources for reading sample college essays? How can you make sure that these resources will actually strengthen and improve your writing? And what is the best way to use the college essay examples that you do find? In this article, I’ll go over the best books and websites for finding essays, I’ll point out a few to avoid, and I’ll explain how to make the most out of other people’s essays while avoiding common pitfalls.

Why Look At College Essay Examples?

There are some very good reasons for wanting to check out how other people have handled the college admissions essay.

First, because you'll be able to get a better sense of what colleges are looking for, you will necessarily broaden your own topic brainstorming past your first, easiest, and most c lichéd i deas . It's one thing to hear that a completely mundane topic is way better than one focusing on your greatest sports moment. But once you see other students writing about a family meal, or an obsession with a particular board game, or a love of cultivating cacti, you'll be convinced to find your essay in the small moments of your life.

Second, you'll see how your life and writing compares to that of your peers . The great diversity of voices, topics, tones, points of view will show you just how many things you could possibly write about, and how to keep the essay connected to your personality and your voice.

Finally, if you really do have a good story to tell about something that gets written about a lot, like divorce, pet death, a community service trip, or winning the big game, you can get ideas for how to approach a potentially lackluster essay topic in a novel and striking way .

What Makes A Good Sample College Essay Resource?

First, the basics. A source is only as good as its content, so make sure you're reading  college essays that worked, from people who actually got into the schools they applied to . Also, it's best to focus on new essays (not older than 10-15 years), so you are reading what has worked in the most recent past, rather than seeing outdated ideas and historical perspectives.

Next, what you really want is diversity in voice and perspective . Make sure the essays featured come from many different kinds of students: either from applicants to both top and lower-tier schools; or from students with different ethnic, economic, and racial backgrounds; or from writers using both formal and more experimental essay techniques.

Finally, the best sources of admission essays will feature explanatory material . This will give each essay some kind of context: commentary on what makes the essay good, explanations of the drafting process, or, at least, biographical information about students. Without commentary or context, it’s hard to know what you’re supposed to learn from the essays you read.

Where to Find Great College Essay Examples

Here are my recommendations for excellent resources, as well as some warnings about resources that I think you should avoid. 

College Essays Collected in Books

I've taken a look at many of the books that collect college essays, so here are my recommendations. I've divided them into three categories:

• Excellent  – meaning  having really diverse essays or very helpful commentary on each essay, or both
• Worthwhile  – meaning either a helpful collection of essays without a lot of context or commentary, or some great advice but a narrow selection of essays geared toward one particular type of school
• Don't Bother   – not useful either as a source of college essays or as a source of essay-writing advice and explanations

Also, please note that although I’ve listed the Amazon prices for all the books, you should definitely check your school and public library for copies before buying them. And even if your library doesn't have a copy, ask them to request one either from another library in the same system or even from the Library of Congress through interlibrary loan .

Excellent Books

Heavenly Essays: 50 Narrative College Application Essays That Worked

Written by Janine W. Robinson, who blogs about college essays at EssayHell , this book features great sample essays. But it's Robinson's precise and clear explanations of how to use a narrative style in your essay to tell a story about your life that make the book really outstanding. Through long and detailed commentary on each essay, Robinson shows why narrative is exactly the kind of structure that works best for personal essays. You can check out sample sections from the book on her blog. The book retails for $10 new on Amazon.

On Writing the College Application Essay, 25th Anniversary Edition: The Key to Acceptance at the College of Your Choice

Harry Bauld used to be an admissions officer at Brown, so he certainly knows what he is talking about when he writes about  how and why to avoid clichés and explains how to find and keep your specific voice . Bauld demonstrates his points with sample essays, showing how they go from first to final draft. The book is easy to read, uses humor to make points, and his advice will carry over into your college writing as well. It is $12.50 new on Amazon, but there are much cheaper used copies available there as well.

The Berkeley Book of College Essays: Personal Statements for California Universities and Other Select Schools

This compilation features college admissions essays written by seniors from Berkeley High School (which is not affiliated with UC Berkeley). Because the city of Berkeley is economically, racially, and ethnically very diverse, these essays are about many different interests, perspectives, and experiences, and are written in many different styles and tones . Although there is no commentary for the essays, this collection is a great way to get a sense of the broad array of essay possibilities.

Also, because many of the students from Berkeley High apply to UC schools, this collection separates out UC application essay packages. (If you are interested in UC, also check out our own guide to writing excellent UC essays !) This book is currently $15 on Amazon. 

50 Successful Harvard Application Essays: What Worked for Them Can Help You Get into the College of Your Choice

Edited by the staff of the Harvard Crimson, this is a great collection of essays from a not particularly diverse group of students. It is very useful to see how the very top students approach the college essay, as long as their best effort neither intimidates nor stymies you. The contextual material is excellent, with helpful explanations of what makes each essay work well. This book retails for $12 new on Amazon, with much cheaper used copies also available.

Worthwhile Books

College Essays That Made a Difference, 6th Edition

This Princeton Review guide is mostly distinguished by its introductory material, which has detailed interviews with many different colleges at many different tiers about what role essays play in college applications, what kind of mistakes are okay, and what to write and not to write about. The sample essays themselves come without commentary, but each features a very short bio of the student, including test scores, GPA, a list of colleges where the person applied, and a list of colleges where the person got in. Right now, it's $11.50 new on Amazon, but there are cheaper used copies as well.

50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays

This collection of of college essays that worked, edited by Gen and Kelly Tanabe, has somewhat spare, but insightful, commentary explaining what each essay does well and what it could have done better . It also includes an interview with an admissions officer explaining how essays are used in admissions decisions and some comments from students about the writing process. The link above is to a downloadable PDF file.

50 Successful Stanford Application Essays: Get into Stanford and Other Top Colleges  

If you like the Tanabes' approach (they are the authors of the previous book), then you will find this one useful as well. The narrow diversity of essay content and the style of commentary (thoughtful, but not particularly detailed or expansive) is very similar. It's priced at $13.25 new on Amazon with some used options as well.

Fiske Real College Essays That Work  

The "Fiske" of the title is Edward Fiske, who used to be the Education editor of the NY Times, and who therefore has some experience with what colleges want from their applicants. The book itself features an introduction with some helpful essay-writing tips, a diverse selection of essays built around narrative, but unfortunately has very little commentary to go with each essay . It retails for $12.50 new on Amazon, with cheaper used options available.

2015 Elite College Application Essays

Although there's almost no commentary or discussion of what makes these essays work, this book is a reasonably good collection of essays from students who are now enrolled at Ivy and other top-tier schools. What's particularly appealing about this college essay compilation is how very new these essays are: all are from students who became freshmen in 2015 . The book is $14 new on Amazon.

Don't Bother

100 Successful College Application Essays

I'd recommend not spending your time on any of the editions of this collection. The essays are decades old in some cases, the topics are clichéd and boring, and there is little to no commentary to make any of them useful. 

College Essays Published Online

I'll split my recommendations here into "worthwhile" and "don't bother" categories. There aren't any truly great collections of sample college essays online.

Individual College Websites . There are many essays published online by the various colleges where these students now go. This means these essays are guaranteed to be real, authentic, and to have worked on someone's application . Some of the essays even come with brief commentary by admissions officers about what makes them great. (The link will take you to our list of over 130 essays from more than 15 different colleges.)

Teen Ink Magazine . Teen Ink publishes all sorts of writing by teens, including college admission essays, which are split off into their own section on the site. The essays necessary feature a wide range of experiences and perspectives, so this is a great place to get a broad sense of what other students are writing about. The essays don't have any context except comment sections that run the gamut from generic “this is good” comments to some insight. Readers also get a chance to vote on which essays are featured as #1, #2, etc., which may be misleading because readers of Teen Ink aren't admissions officers.

Don't Bother 

Watch out for paid websites like AdmitSee, CollegeMapper, and Acceptional, which claim to give you access to college essays for a monthly or fixed fee. Because of the paywall, there's no way to verify the quality of the essays these sites have. Also, there are enough books that you could borrow from your library that you don’t need to pay monthly fees to these places. Finally, I would particularly stay away from AdmidSee, which uses Amazon reviews for other essay resources as a marketing platform.

The Best Ways To Use College Admission Essay Samples

So now that you've rounded up a bunch of sample college essays, what should you do with them? Here are some tips for your next steps.

When Should You Read Essay Examples?

I'd advise waiting until after you've done some brainstorming of your own before you start immersing yourself in other people's work and ideas. (If you're not sure how to brainstorm, check out our guide to coming up with great college essay topics .)

This way, you can use other people’s essays to think about different possibilities for writing about your own topic. For example, looking at how other people tackled their life experience can show you:

• how to focus on a different detail in your own story
• how to change the insight you want to draw from your story
• how to think about different ways to start and end your narrative

What Can Good College Essays Teach You?

There are both broad and specific learning opportunities to be found in reading other people's work.

Broadly speaking, seeing how other people are approaching the problem of writing a college essay can jog your own creative process. Likewise, reading a diversity of thoughts and voices will show you that even the most normal and boring seeming experiences be made into riveting essays.

More specifically, if you find essays from applicants to your target school, you can get some sense of the level of sophistication they expect to see from your writing. 

Finally, good context and commentary on the essays can show you how they are put together and what makes them work. You can then put this advice to use when rewriting your essay later.

Pitfalls To Avoid

Of course, being surrounded by other people's work, especially when some of that work is much better than what you think you can manage, has its share of temptations. So what do you need to guard against when looking at sample essays?

Plagiarism. This one is basic and obvious. Do not copy these sample essays! Admissions officers have seen them all, read them all, memorized them all – you will not get away with it.

Copying and mimicry. Think of this as a softer kind of plagiarism. Even if you really like someone else’s style, don’t borrow it. Even if someone’s life sounds more exciting than yours, don’t steal a piece of it for your own essay. Why? Because if you don’t sound like yourself, it will be visible to an experienced reader (and guess what, admissions officers are very experienced readers). Also, if you’re writing about experiences that aren't yours, your unfamiliarity will show through the lack of believable details.

Resources for Essay Writing Advice

In researching this article, I came across books and websites that don't necessarily feature a lot of sample essays, but that give really excellent advice on writing your own college essay. I strongly recommend you spend some time checking them out.

Essay Hell blog . This great resource is written by Janine Anderson Robinson, an English teacher and a journalist, whose book Heavenly Essays I recommended above. The blog posts feature lots and lots of well-explained, detailed, easy to understand advice about how to write your essay, and are broken down into easy to understand, bite-sized nuggets of usefulness.

Slate 's Getting In podcast . The entire series is an interesting look at the college application process, with useful tips and explanations about all aspects what seniors are going through. Check out Episode 2: The Essay , in which a student gets feedback in real time on their essay from a former Princeton director of admissions and a panel of experts talk about essay dos and don’ts. The episode is 26 minutes long.

The College Essay Trap: Rescue Your College Application Essay From the "Maybe" Pile

This is incredibly concise and excellent explanation of what not to do and what to avoid when writing your personal statement. It's short, sweet, to the point, and is praised to the skies by legendary Princeton admissions dean Fred Hargadon. Currently $12 new on Amazon.

The Bottom Line

• Look at college essay examples to broaden your own topic brainstorming and get ideas for fixing lackluster topics.
• Look for resources with diverse and recent essays, from many different kinds of students and with explanatory material that explains what makes each essay good.
• Look at essay samples after you’ve generated some of your own ideas to think about different possibilities for writing about your own topic.
• Seeing how other people are approaching the problem of writing a college essay can jog your creative process.
• Avoid both actual plagiarism and “borrowing”: don’t use someone else’s style, voice, or life experiences as your own.

What’s Next?

If you’re starting to work on college essays, check out our article laying out every single kind of essay prompt out there and a step by step guide to writing a great college essay .

Are you working on the Common App essay? Read our breakdown of the Common App prompts and our guide to picking the best prompt for you.

Or maybe you're interested in the University of California? Check out our complete guide to the UC personal statements .

Working on other pieces of your college applications? We’ve got guides to choosing the right college for you ,  writing about extracurriculars , and requesting teacher recommendations .

Thinking about taking the SAT one last time, or prepping for your first run at it? Read our ultimate guide to studying for the SAT and make sure you're as prepared as possible.

Want to improve your SAT score by 160 points or your ACT score by 4 points? We've written a guide for each test about the top 5 strategies you must be using to have a shot at improving your score. Download it for free now:

These recommendations are based solely on our knowledge and experience. If you purchase an item through one of our links, PrepScholar may receive a commission.

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

Ask a Question Below

Have any questions about this article or other topics? Ask below and we'll reply!

Improve With Our Famous Guides

• For All Students

The 5 Strategies You Must Be Using to Improve 160+ SAT Points

How to Get a Perfect 1600, by a Perfect Scorer

Series: How to Get 800 on Each SAT Section:

Score 800 on SAT Math

Score 800 on SAT Reading

Score 800 on SAT Writing

Series: How to Get to 600 on Each SAT Section:

Score 600 on SAT Math

Score 600 on SAT Reading

Score 600 on SAT Writing

Free Complete Official SAT Practice Tests

What SAT Target Score Should You Be Aiming For?

15 Strategies to Improve Your SAT Essay

The 5 Strategies You Must Be Using to Improve 4+ ACT Points

How to Get a Perfect 36 ACT, by a Perfect Scorer

Series: How to Get 36 on Each ACT Section:

36 on ACT English

36 on ACT Math

36 on ACT Reading

36 on ACT Science

Series: How to Get to 24 on Each ACT Section:

24 on ACT English

24 on ACT Math

24 on ACT Reading

24 on ACT Science

What ACT target score should you be aiming for?

ACT Vocabulary You Must Know

ACT Writing: 15 Tips to Raise Your Essay Score

How to Get Into Harvard and the Ivy League

How to Get a Perfect 4.0 GPA

How to Write an Amazing College Essay

What Exactly Are Colleges Looking For?

Is the ACT easier than the SAT? A Comprehensive Guide

Should you retake your SAT or ACT?

When should you take the SAT or ACT?

Stay Informed

Get the latest articles and test prep tips!

Looking for Graduate School Test Prep?

Check out our top-rated graduate blogs here:

GRE Online Prep Blog

GMAT Online Prep Blog

TOEFL Online Prep Blog

Holly R. "I am absolutely overjoyed and cannot thank you enough for helping me!”

What are your chances of acceptance?

Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance.

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

8 Strong Ivy League Essay Examples

What’s covered:.

• Essay 1: Princeton
• Essay 2: Cornell
• Essay 3: Yale
• Essay 4: Brown
• Essay 5: UPenn
• Essay 6: Dartmouth
• Essay 7: Columbia
• Essay 8: Harvard
• Where to Get Your Essay Edited for Free

The Ivy League consists of eight private institutions on the East Coast, known for having extremely competitive admissions rates. The following schools are in the Ivy League: Princeton, Harvard, Yale, Columbia, UPenn, Cornell, Brown, and Dartmouth.

These schools all have their own supplemental essays, ranging from typical topics like “ Why This College? ” to more unique topics that change from year to year. Because the Ivies are some of the most competitive schools in the country, your essays are crucial for you to showcase aspects of yourself that might not be apparent from other parts of your application. 

In this post, we’ll provide a strong essay example for each Ivy and explain what each did well and where they could be improved. Read on to learn more about how to craft a compelling narrative!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Essay #1: Princeton

Prompt: Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation, title and author at the beginning of your essay. (250-650 words)

“One of the great challenges of our time is that the disparities we face today have more complex causes and point less straightforwardly to solutions.” 

– Omar Wasow, assistant professor of politics, Princeton University. This quote is taken from Professor Wasow’s January 2014 speech at the Martin Luther King Day celebration at Princeton University . 

The air is crisp and cool, nipping at my ears as I walk under a curtain of darkness that drapes over the sky, starless. It is a Friday night in downtown Corpus Christi, a rare moment of peace in my home city filled with the laughter of strangers and colorful lights of street vendors. But I cannot focus. 

My feet stride quickly down the sidewalk, my hand grasps on to the pepper spray my parents gifted me for my sixteenth birthday. My eyes ignore the surrounding city life, focusing instead on a pair of tall figures walking in my direction. I mentally ask myself if they turned with me on the last street corner. I do not remember, so I pick up the pace again. All the while, my mind runs over stories of young women being assaulted, kidnapped, and raped on the street. I remember my mother’s voice reminding me to keep my chin up, back straight, eyes and ears alert. 

At a young age, I learned that harassment is a part of daily life for women. I fell victim to period-shaming when I was thirteen, received my first catcall when I was fourteen, and was nonconsensually grabbed by a man soliciting on the street when I was fifteen. For women, assault does not just happen to us— its gory details leave an imprint in our lives, infecting the way we perceive the world. And while movements such as the Women’s March and #MeToo have given victims of sexual violence a voice, harassment still manifests itself in the lives of millions of women across the nation. Symbolic gestures are important in spreading awareness but, upon learning that a surprising number of men are oblivious to the frequent harassment that women experience, I now realize that addressing this complex issue requires a deeper level of activism within our local communities. 

Frustrated with incessant cases of harassment against women, I understood at sixteen years old that change necessitates action. During my junior year, I became an intern with a judge whose campaign for office focused on a need for domestic violence reform. This experience enabled me to engage in constructive dialogue with middle and high school students on how to prevent domestic violence. As I listened to young men uneasily admit their ignorance and young women bravely share their experiences in an effort to spread awareness, I learned that breaking down systems of inequity requires changing an entire culture. I once believed that the problem of harassment would dissipate after politicians and celebrities denounce inappropriate behavior to their global audience. But today, I see that effecting large-scale change comes from the “small” lessons we teach at home and in schools. Concerning women’s empowerment, the effects of Hollywood activism do not trickle down enough. Activism must also trickle up and it depends on our willingness to fight complacency. 

Finding the solution to the long-lasting problem of violence against women is a work-in-progress, but it is a process that is persistently moving. In my life, for every uncomfortable conversation that I bridge, I make the world a bit more sensitive to the unspoken struggle that it is to be a woman. I am no longer passively waiting for others to let me live in a world where I can stand alone under the expanse of darkness on a city street, utterly alone and at peace. I, too, deserve the night sky.

What the Essay Did Well

There are many positives to this essay. To begin with, launching into the essay with multi sensory imagery in the anecdote was really effective at drawing the reader in. The audiovisual context (laughter, street vendors) keeps the scene alive and fully immerses the reader, while the internal narration illustrates how this student looks at the world. The contrast between the imagery of the external scene and the internal thoughts and feelings fully immerses the reader in the essay and alludes to the overarching theme of things being more complicated than they seem on the outside.

Another good thing this essay did was provide a personal account of this student’s experiences with harassment. This established their authority to speak on the topic and underscores their essay with authenticity.  They then “zoom out” to provide relevant background information that supplies additional context for readers who might not be that familiar with the extent of the issue at hand. By relating their personal stories to the large-scale issue at hand, they simultaneously develop a personal connection while demonstrating an understanding of a serious global issue.

What really could’ve made or broken this essay was the quote the student chose. Allowing you to choose any quote, this is an extremely open-ended prompt which gives students the opportunity to write about whatever they choose. This student did an excellent job of picking a quote that isn’t well-known or significant, but fit perfectly into the narrative they were trying to express in this essay. The approach the student likely took with this prompt is figuring out what experience they wanted to discuss and finding a quote that fit, rather than picking a quote first. This approach made for an essay that existed independently from the quote and didn’t rely on it as a crutch.

All together, the essay feels cohesive with every part relating back to the overarching theme of diving deeper than the surface level of things. The student’s vulnerability and personal reflection throughout the essay helps carry the theme through each paragraph. Even the conclusion does a great job of circling back to the anecdote at the beginning, bringing the societal problem the student addressed back down to the personal level to remind the reader the student’s personal stake in the issue.

What Could Be Improved

One potential criticism of this essay could stem from the ratio of background to active work. The author spends a lot of time setting up their personal connection and the global context of the issue; however, their essay could stand to gain from more content centered on their actual actions towards fighting harassment against women. They could discuss another small-scale discussion or project they led or elaborate more on their current inclusion. Dedicating two paragraphs to this rather than one gives admissions officers a better idea of their leadership skills and active role in fighting harassment.

Table of Contents

Essay #2: Cornell

Prompt: Tell us about your interest in engineering or what you hope to achieve with a degree in engineering. Describe what appeals to you about Cornell Engineering and how it specifically relates to your engineering interests or aspirations. (650 words) 

Storytime with my grandfather was a terrifying thing. With astounding skill, he would seep blood into our carpet and perforate our walls with bullets from a civil war fought before I was born. But what truly frightened me about storytime was my grandfather, who spoke of massacres gloriously, almost with nostalgia, like the people who had  died were not real.

He told the child I was every story he knew about that war but would not tell me about the battle that took his legs.

This was the reason I sat by his stumps each night and listened to stories I hated—because I wanted to know. But it was also because I understood that his storytelling was a kind of exorcism for him. He had not walked since 1970, would never walk again for a country that had not improved, a country spitting on the bloody sacrifices he and his generation had made of their innocence, their limbs, their lives. How does one live with that? My grandfather does not; he has created a different reality for himself where the war was a beautiful, worthy thing, and he lets me into it. The story of his legs did not belong in this reality, so I lusted after it with the brand of hunger I reserved for things I subconsciously knew I would not get.

My grandfather deserved a reality he could cope with enough to admit. I couldn’t reverse the war, couldn’t raise the friends he had lost, but I thought he should walk, that a man deserved to move his feet upon the land he loved.

Although there were indeed prosthetics in Nigerian hospitals, he had no income source whatsoever and could barely even afford a bag of rice to sustain himself.

Day by day, I searched for answers in my introductory science textbook, but to no avail. I carried on this search in high school and made my biology textbook my companion. I studied the body systems in-depth for clues, but I found nothing. One day, I came across Biomechanics, and seeing that it had my answer made me want to study it  in college.

Then came another mammoth task of deciding my place of study. I kept searching and researching, without seeming to find any place fit for me until I came across Cornell’s novel 3D printed prosthetic limbs in the “Silicon Review.” Light, flexible, and cost-effective –a miracle, just what grandpa needed. I had found my home, the home of this model – Sibley School of Mechanical & Aerospace Engineering.

I intend to channel the research experience I gained from Pioneer Academics into Cornell’s undergraduate research programs at Sibley – specifically, the research on orthopedic biomechanics currently ongoing at the Van der Meulen lab. I hope to work with intellectual, goal-driven scholars at Cornell and develop better and safer models of the 3D prosthetic. Also, Cornell’s Tech Summer Research Experience gives me an opportunity to work with engineers in different disciplines, thus diversifying my abilities and improving my innovation. I hope to work at the Nikolaos Bouklos faculty, where I would learn about the model’s unpredictability and explore ways to stabilize it while receiving guidance from Cornell’s world-class faculty mentors.

My life as a Cornell engineer would not be about theory alone. I intend to gain hands-on experience for medical school from the Hospital for Special Surgery and work with body systems to understand the physical, electrical and chemical connections between limbs and prosthetics – a fantastic opportunity for an outstanding, well-rounded education! I love to play soccer, and I hope to learn from the Big Red and become better while contributing my skills to give our opponents the claw.

Fearless and brave, grandpa has been more than an inspiration to me. I hope to repay him in the best way possible, and a Cornell education is what I need to actualize my dream.

So often, “Why Major?” and “Why School?” essays like Cornell’s include one anecdote showing a student’s interest in a topic and then spend the majority of the essay listing offerings at the school that don’t necessarily connect back to the anecdote. That can not be said for this essay.

The beauty of this essay is how focused it is around one central idea, yet it still has a captivating and heart-wrenching anecdote, an explanation of the student’s passion, and a variety of opportunities they plan to take advantage of. Everything in this essay stems from this student’s selflessness and compassion for their grandfather. The anecdote is extremely pertinent to the piece as a whole because the end goal of their major is to develop a prosthetic to help their grandfather.

An important part of the essay is to discuss resources and opportunities at Cornell, and this student accomplishes that so effectively because every resource they describe relates back to the idea of building and improving prosthetics. From working with prosthetic models in a lab to learning about implementation and the body in a hospital, this student frames every opportunity in the light of helping their grandfather. The reader knows exactly what this student intends to do, and what is motivating each extracurricular choice.

This essay leaves us with such a strong impression of who this student is and what motivates them. Their selflessness and dedication to their family has been a driving force throughout high school and will continue to be one in college. They are determined to persevere and want to use their education to help those around them. By revealing so much of their character in this essay, it demonstrates to admissions officers that this is the student they want on their campus.

In general, this is a very strong response and there is little to change. However, in such a highly-focused essay where every detail connects, this sentences feels very out of place: “ I love to play soccer, and I hope to learn from the Big Red and become better while contributing my skills to give our opponents the claw. “

While the student was likely trying to demonstrate a non-academic passion they will bring to Cornell, haphazardly throwing in a singular sentence without connecting it to anything else disrupts the momentum they have built throughout the essay. This essay was so strong because everything related to the common thread of helping their grandfather, but playing soccer is irrelevant to the other points being made. Since this sentence doesn’t tie into any other part of the essay, it would be better off without it.

This is a good example of not including details for the sake of including them. Admissions officers will see your accomplishments in other parts of the application, so you don’t need to work it into your essay if it doesn’t relate. Especially when the topic of the essay is so strong and focused, throwing in extraneous details will only confuse your readers and diminish the overall impact of your essay.

Essay #3: Yale

Prompt: Yale students, faculty, and alumni engage issues of local, national, and international importance. Discuss an issue that is significant to you and how your college experience could help you address it. (250 words)

A chaotic sense of sickness and filth unfolds in an overcrowded border station in McAllen, Texas. Through soundproof windows, migrants motion that they have not showered in weeks and children wear clothes caked in mucus and tears. The humanitarian crisis at the southern border exists not only in photographs published by mainstream media, but miles from my home in South Texas.

As a daughter of immigrants, I have heard countless stories of migrants being turned away by a country they desperately seek to love. After seeing the abhorrent conditions migrants face upon arriving in the U.S., I began volunteering with Loaves and Fishes, an organization that shelters and provides necessities to undocumented immigrants. This year, my experiences collecting donations and working at pop-up soup kitchens have made me realize that the communities in South Texas promote true American values of freedom and opportunity. The U.S. government, however, must do better.

During my university career, I aspire to learn how our immigration system can be positively reformed by considering the politics and economics that shape policy-making. Particularly, classes such as Institutional Design and Institutional Change will prepare me to effect change in existing institutions by analyzing various methods to bolster the economy. 

Additionally, I hope to join the Yale Refugee Project that volunteers at the southern border and prepares asylum cases for court. With the numerous opportunities offered by YRP, I will be part of a generation of activists and lawmakers that builds a more empathetic immigration system.

One of the benefits of this essay is how the student establishes the issue in detail prior to explaining her personal connection to it. The hook uses detailed imagery, typically seen in personal anecdotes, to describe the issue. Describing the issue at hand instead of an experience the student had helps the reader grasp the issue so they know exactly what the student is referring to when she explains her personal connection.

Having already established the issue, it then becomes much easier for the reader to understand the significance to the student without being explicitly told what it is. The combined details of her family’s background and the actions she has taken to address the issue help display her dedication to the issue and passion for solving it. The student never gives the reader an explanation as to why she cares so deeply about this issue, but through her writing, that reveals her internal identity and external actions, it becomes evident.

Another positive aspect was that the essay only discussed two resources at Yale that would be beneficial to the student. For “Why This College” essays, it’s all about quality over quantity. Elaborating on what the specific classes and the Yale Refugee Program will offer her in terms of professional development provides much more insight than if she had listed a bunch of Yale opportunities with no explanation of what made them special to her. 

Something this essay was missing was a conclusion to wrap up the essay. It ends by discussing the Yale Refugee Program, but fails to connect back to the student or the larger issue at hand. It’s understandable that she was pressed for space with a limited word count, but the ending felt abrupt. Adding one sentence to the end that shifts focus back to the student or how Yale as a whole would allow her to better the world would make the essay feel complete, leaving the reader satisfied.

There are many ways this student could tie the essay together in the conclusion, but one way would be to connect back to the observation the student made earlier that the “ U.S. government, however, must do better. ” This line isn’t really elaborated on and without a connection to how she plans to fix the mistakes of the current government it feels unnecessary. Saying something along the lines of “ With the tools Yale would give me I could tear down the barriers to immigration and construct new systems to steer federal immigration policy in an inclusive direction ” would provide a satisfying conclusion and an explanation of how this student will use her public policy degree to improve the government. 

Essay #4: Brown

Prompt: Brown’s Open Curriculum allows students to explore broadly while also diving deeply into their academic pursuits. Tell us about any academic interests that excite you, and how you might use the Open Curriculum to pursue them while also embracing topics with which you are unfamiliar. (200-250 words) 

My mother exclaimed in shock as she saw the title American Murder: The Family Next Door as the latest title on our Netflix watch list. “Why on earth would you want to watch that?” It made no sense to her that I spent free time watching documentaries about the psychopathic tendencies of serial killers.

From listening to neuropsychology podcasts on my long runs to reading Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment , I’ve been eager to explore the intersection between neuroscience, society, and the role they play in human nature. Brown’s Open Curriculum would allow me to double concentrate in Neuroscience and Science, Technology, and Society with a theme in Health and Medicine. Classes like Philosophy of Biology and The Moral Brain would begin to answer my questions about the relationship between neuroscience and human ethics. Perhaps I’ll finally understand why Raskolnikov thought he could get away with his crimes.

As an eight-year Latin scholar and five-time Percy Jackson reader, I hope to take classes in the Brown Classics department. I’m also intrigued by Ancient Greek Philosophy, and I plan to explore classic texts such as Plato’s Symposium in Introduction to Greek Literature. Courses like Hippocratic Medicine would allow me to learn about connections between the Classical world and medicine today. 

The brain’s unique composition creates an intricate link between science, history, and modern society that I can only explore at Brown. More importantly, Brown’s diverse environment would introduce me to people with entirely different opinions about Raskolnikov’s motives.

This essay is structured incredibly well. The author uses an anecdote to explain their interests in the opening paragraph. “ My mother exclaimed in shock ,” is the beginning of an opening sentence that draws the reader in, as the reader wants to learn the reason behind the mother’s shock. This opening allows the writer to speak about an interest of theirs, murder documentaries, then tie it to what they’re interested in studying. 

When discussing an academic interest, the author does a great job of providing specific examples connected to Brown. This allows the writer to share how they plan to take advantage of Brown’s unique Open Curriculum. They write, “ Classes like Philosophy of Biology and The Moral Brain would begin to answer my questions about the relationship between neuroscience and human ethics .” By sharing specific classes, it’s clear that the author has done some research about Brown and is truly interested in attending. 

The writer chooses to spend their last paragraph sharing more interests and how they could pursue these interests at Brown. They did a great job sharing a variety of interests, and they made it fun by writing that they’re a “ five-time Percy Jackson reader. ” Sharing details like this about yourself can help make your essays stand out because you come across as relatable, and your essay becomes more engaging and entertaining for the reader!

While it’s nice that the writer mentions various interests, including both neuroscience and classics, there doesn’t seem to be a strong connection between the two topics. The essay would be better if the author improved the transition between the second and third paragraphs. They could say how it’s not common to be able to study both neuroscience and classics because of how different the subjects are but that Brown’s open curriculum lets you pursue both.

More simply, the writer could share why they want to study both topics. Will they both be relevant for their career goals? Are they just curious about exploring a variety of subjects and classes at Brown? No matter the reason, a connection between their interests and a better transition would strengthen this essay.

Additionally, the essay prompt asks students to talk about both topics that interest them and “embracing topics with which you are unfamiliar.” It’s always important to keep the prompt in mind when outlining or writing it. This student wrote a lot about their interests, but it’s a little unclear how they plan to embrace topics with which they’re unfamiliar. Clarifying which topic in this essay the writer hasn’t studied would improve the response and ensure that it directly answers the prompt.

Essay #5: UPenn 

Prompt: How did you discover your intellectual and academic interests, and how will you explore them at the University of Pennsylvania? Please respond considering the specific undergraduate school you have selected. (300-450 words)

There’s a certain energy palpable at protests, each chant a powerful reminder that you are not alone in a seemingly futile fight- it’s why I love organizing. At Penn you will be sure to find me advocating for environmental education in local school districts with Eco Reps (gotta start them young), or even marching through the streets of Philly to demand climate action.

Despite my love for grassroots activism, I often feel frustrated in the weeks following a protest as the buzz dies down; despite overwhelming support for change, be it climate action, BLM, gun control, or Indigenous sovereignty, it often feels like our cries fall upon deaf ears. 

I believe in order for tangible change to occur, our leaders and policymakers need to reflect the diversity and interests of the public. Penn will equip me to be that leader.

Having the tools to understand both the science and history within issues like public health or climate change is something I believe will be invaluable to study in the Environmental Policy and Application program at Penn. Using the knowledge I gain from classes like Natural Disturbances and Human Disasters , which bridges my interest in the environment with the very tangible effects of human-made and natural disasters, I can be a better informed leader, learning from past mistakes to create preventative solutions for future catastrophes through policy. 

Integrated into West Philly, to me, the lack of barriers between campus and the city symbolizes the infinite space for growth and exploration. At Penn, I can study politics while also indulging in the arts at the Arthur Ross Gallery, or how to integrate principles of sustainability in an urban environment. And, of course, being able to admire the beautiful gothic architecture as I sit in class (gotta love that dark academia aesthetic) while also being able to experience the rich culture and diversity of the urban environment of Philadelphia is definitely a plus (I mean, Chinatown and cheesesteaks? Come on!). 

UPenn’s emphasis on global education is especially appealing to me; solving the climate crisis cannot and will not fall upon one country; it must be a collective effort. With that comes the need to understand (and learn from) sustainability in other countries, therefore, having the opportunity to take classes like Politics of the Global Environment in the Political Science program will allow me to gain a deeper understanding of the nuances of international policy and approaches to environmental issues in different countries, where they intersect and how they differ. 

I believe as global citizens it is crucial to approach learning from a global perspective as opposed to a nationalistic one; I believe UPenn will help me do just that. 

This essay does a very nice job of laying out what led this student to pursue politics and what they hope to get out of each opportunity at UPenn. We can see their strong sense of civic duty in the first paragraph when they discuss the excitement of protests, but telling us they feel “ frustrated in the weeks following a protest as the buzz dies down ” helps us understand their need to take things into their own hands.

When discussing different opportunities at Penn, this student chooses depth over breadth—describing why a small number of offerings are important to them and will be beneficial rather than providing a laundry list of items. For example, when they mention a class they are interested in, they elaborate by saying it “ bridges my interest in the environment with the very tangible effects of human-made and natural disasters .” Similarly, they demonstrate their forward-thinking approach when discussing global opportunities by noting their need to “ gain a deeper understanding of the nuances of international policy and approaches to environmental issues in different countries. “

Another positive aspect is how strong this student’s voice is throughout the essay. We see their passion and love for protesting at the beginning, they clearly express their position on representation in politics, and they inject a lot of humor into the paragraph about Philly. Having conviction and making an essay casual yet impactful is a hard balance to strike, but this student does a nice job of that. 

Although it’s important to not just focus on academic opportunities, students can sometimes make the mistake of writing about a city, rather than a school, when they discuss extracurriculars. The paragraph about the opportunities awaiting this student in Philly was great for including their personal voice, but it isn’t specific to Penn. 

Rather than making art galleries and cheesesteaks the primary focus of the paragraph, the student should have discussed a club or organization that is unique to Penn. Something related to climate justice would fit in nicely with the rest of their essay and would give the author the opportunity to further elaborate on what they hope to accomplish out of the classroom. They can still find a way to work in some humor, but it shouldn’t be the main aspect of the paragraph.

Essay #6: Dartmouth

Prompt: The Hawaiian word mo’olelo is often translated as “story” but it can also refer to history, legend, genealogy, and tradition. Use one of these translations to introduce yourself. (250-300 words)

As a child, darkness meant nightmares, so I would pester my grandmother to tell me stories while the sun was trapped amongst silver hues. My religious grandmother would proceed to tell me about the Supreme Being in Hindu mythology, made of Brahma (the creator), Vishnu (the preserver), and Shiva (the destroyer). Together, these Gods defined the cyclical nature of mortal existence through creation and destruction – life and death.

Although I found this idea interesting, each year in my life brought on a better understanding of these Gods’ purposes – I only had a certain number of years before I faced my life’s “destruction.”

My only answer to living more in my one life was to stuff my head into pages filled with the journeys of fictional characters. I was a member of a motorcycle club, a terminally-ill teenager, and much more than what I could be in my physical life. Authors let me experience hundreds of lives through literature, therefore, inspiring me to create fictional lives of my own.

So, hello! I’m Navya – named after a star shining the night I was born. For most of my life, I’ve struggled with the idea that we each experience life only once before our own lives are destroyed, but books have helped me find a way to live thousands of lives. I am an aspiring author and want to write historical fiction books that cheat the Gods, who said that everything must be destroyed, because my characters will never fade. And all this happened because of my grandmother and her love of Hindu mythology. Mythology sparked a quest for me to find how I could get the most out of my life but my mo’olelo is nowhere near its ending. I have more lives to experience and more lives to write. 

This essay beautifully combines this student’s life story with their passion for physical stories. Connecting these two types of stories gives extra depth and nuance to the essay, showing this student’s ability to think creatively. The idea that her life story revolves around fictional stories shines through in sentences like: “ My only answer to living more in my one life was to stuff my head into pages filled with the journeys of fictional characters .”

Our stories aren’t just comprised of the past though, and this essay does a great job of transitioning from the past to the future. Telling the reader “ Authors let me experience hundreds of lives through literature, therefore, inspiring me to create fictional lives of my own ” lets us appreciate how deeply engrained literature  is in this student’s personal story. The admissions officers reading this essay walk away knowing exactly what this student hopes to do one day and where the inspiration for that career came from. 

The idea of stories are woven throughout this essay, making it exceptionally well-connected. Although the beginning is meant to introduce a sense of fear at mortality this student encountered, it is done so through a story her grandmother told about her culture. Then the student explains the sanctuary and inspiration she found through famous stories, and finally it concludes with her describing the stories she will tell. Combined, all these pieces of mythology and literature form this student’s personal story.

The only real weakness in this essay is the conclusion. While it is well-written and nicely summarizes everything the author has explained, it doesn’t contribute anything new to the essay. The only new pieces of information the reader gains is that the student wants to “ write historical fiction books ” and that her “ mo’olelo is nowhere near its ending .”

To avoid redundancy, the conclusion could have been made stronger if it was simply focused on the future. Discussing this student’s aspirations to be a historical fiction writer—maybe including possible stories or time periods she dreams about—would have made the finale more focused and also have given the same amount of attention to the future of her story as she did the past and present. Then, the essay would chronologically follow this student’s life story from when she was young, to her current passion, to her future goals, allowing the reader to seamlessly see the progression, rather than having it restated for us. 

Essay #7: Columbia

Prompt: For applicants to Columbia College, please tell us what from your current and past experiences (either academic or personal) attracts you specifically to the field or fields of study that you noted in the Member Questions section. If you are currently undecided, please write about any field or fields in which you may have an interest at this time. (300 words)

The flickering LED lights began to form into a face of a man when I focused my eyes. The man spoke a ruthless serial killer of the decade who had been arrested in 2004, and my parents shivered at his reaccounting of the case. I curiously tuned in, wondering who he was to speak of such crimes with concrete composure and knowledge. Later, he introduced himself as a profiler named Pyo Chang Won, and I watched the rest of the program by myself without realizing that my parents had left the couch.

After watching the program, I recited the foreign word until it was no longer unfamiliar—”profiler”. I stayed up all-night searching the meaning; my eyes sparkled with the dim light of the monitor as I read the tales of Pyo Chang Won and his Sherlock-like stories. From predicting the future of criminals and knowing the precise vicinity of a killer on the loose, he had saved countless lives; living in communities riddled with crimes in my youth then and even now, I dreamed of working against crimes. However, the traditional path of a lawyer or a police officer only reinforced the three-step cycle of arrest, trial, and jail which continued with no fundamental changes for years; I wanted to work with the psyche of criminals beyond courts and wondered about the inner workings of the mind. 

Such admiration and interest led me to invest my time in psychology. Combined with working with the likes of the Victim Witness Agency, I decided to pursue psychology as my major for my undergraduate education. Later on, I want to specialize my research and education on behavioral/forensic psychology and eventually branch out to my childhood dream of becoming a criminal profiler. 

A major positive of this essay is how it is focused on one moment in time. This student goes into depth about the night they first fell in love with criminal psychology which allows the reader to feel like they are there watching TV with the student and researching afterwards. Having the essay focus on a snapshot of the student’s life opens the door to include more imagery and delve into the internal monologue of the student, thus creating a more engaging and personable essay. 

The student’s genuine fascination for the topic is evident through what they show the reader. They explain that they stayed to finish the show after their parents left, they stayed up all night researching what they just learned, and their eyes sparkled the more they learned about criminal psychology. Providing all these details shows the student’s fascination and passion for this topic without them ever having to explicitly say they were excited about it. 

This essay also does a good job of expanding past the requirements of the prompt to explain what they hope to accomplish with their degree. Including their goals reinforced their passion to pursue this field to admissions officers. It also demonstrated that they are a goal-oriented person who wants to make a difference in the world.

One thing that could be improved in this essay is the grammar. There were a few sentences where there were either typos or just clunky sentences that could be tightened up. In order to catch grammatical errors, you should always give your essay to at least one other person to read. CollegeVine offers  essay reviews that allows students to receive feedback on the grammar, structure, and content of their essays. It’s always a good idea to have a fresh pair of eyes read your essay to catch mistakes that might go unnoticed by you. Having someone review this essay would have likely helped this student fix their grammatical errors.

Essay #8: Harvard

Prompt:   You may wish to include an additional essay if you feel that the college application forms do not provide sufficient opportunity to convey important information about yourself or your accomplishments. You may write on a topic of your choice, or you may choose from one of the following topics:  Travel, living, or working experiences in your own or other communities.

A scream in the night.

In the town of Montagu, South Africa, the sun had set hours ago, leaving its place to a deep dark sky. Everything was peaceful and quiet. In a little lodge, a family of four people had just finished eating on a dimly lit terrace. The heat was so intense even the black silence seemed to suffocate – only a few crickets dared to break its density. The mother asked something to her daughter, who stood up, and bypassed the table. That’s when she screamed. An intense, long scream, that reverberated in the little town of Montagu.

How do I know that? It was me. 

Me, miserable as I had fallen down the terrace… into a plantation of cacti! I couldn’t move. I felt as if each cactus thorn contained poison that spread through my back, my arms, my entire body. The plants were engulfing me into the darkness. I was suffocating, trying to grasp some of the hot, heavy air. Until I felt her hand. My mom’s. 

She and my father organized this trip to South Africa. Valuing experiences more than material wealth, they liked to organize trips to foreign, far away countries. In addition to South Africa, I visited Cuba, Nepal and China. Four countries where landscapes and cities are dissimilar to France’s. Four countries that allowed me to discover numerous communities, recipes and traditions. Four countries where I met animals, plants and humans I had never seen before.

I am a city girl. As a little girl, I was never really fond of flora or fauna. However, during my trips, I was lucky to see animals in freedom and to interact with nature. A baboon broke into my car in South Africa and walked all over me – literally. I held an iguana in Cuba, did a safari in South Africa and talked with a parrot in Nepal. I saw the sun rising on the Machapuchare. I ultimately understood that all I had experienced was thanks to Nature. I realized its preciousness and its urgency to be saved. I gained proximity to the environment that I had always lacked. My blood turned green thanks to travels. 

In addition to animal discoveries, travels are encounter engines. From little to aged humans, from all genders, from everywhere, travels allowed me to meet incredible people. The uncanny apparition of a mysterious little girl particularly touched me in Ghorepani, Nepal. I had walked for seven hours that day, and was waiting for dinner, sitting on a bench. She slowly advanced towards me.

“What’s your name?” I asked the white figure in the obscurity.

The little girl stopped moving. Dark curly hair, dark deep eyes, white clothes covered in mud among the deep dark night. Our eyes locked in each other’s, the sound of our breathing floating in the dense silence, everything seemed to be suspended. After what felt like dozens of hours, she looked at me and silently walked away, a star in the ink black sky. 

Every person encountered made me grow. Some like the Nepalese little girl simply disrupted me, some opened my eyes on poverty, others opened my eyes on racism. Every person I met had a story to share, a fact to transmit. I visited an orphanage in a township in South Africa. The teacher, a frail and tiny woman, explained that racism was still so profound in the country that black and mixed race people were fighting to death in the neighbourhood. Centuries of abuse towards people of color, for children to pay the price, growing up parentless in the orphanage. The sound of the rain was echoing on the metal houses as the children sang their anthem. Wet furrows appeared as raindrops were racing on every cheek:

‘Let us live and strive for freedom,

In South Africa our land.’

Traveling is ultimately a chance. It is an opportunity to understand the complexity of the world by getting close to it. Traveling allowed me to realize the differences between each country and region. But beyond those dissimilarities, I saw singing, dancing and laughing everywhere in the world. Being away brought me closer to my home and my family and friends, my newspaper team, every community I’m involved in. Traveling represents a learning process. I integrated leadership and diligence in Nepal, watching children and old men transport wood on their back. Speaking foreign languages allowed me to acquire experience and put my theoretical skills to practise. I acquired a lot of adaptability through travels as part of their greatness comes from its unpredictability. Traveling truly enriches the intellect of those who have the chance to do it.

This is overall a delightful, very readable essay. The author starts with a dramatic hook to capture the reader’s attention, and they build on that initial story with vivid imagery like “ I felt as if each cactus thorn contained poison that spread through my back, my arms, my entire body. ” In general, the language is strong throughout the entire essay. Other beautiful gems include, “ The sound of the rain was echoing on the metal houses as the children sang their anthem ” and, “ The uncanny apparition of a mysterious little girl particularly touched me. ” The author has a way with words, and they proudly demonstrate it in their response. 

In addition to strong imagery, the author also does a satisfactory job at answering the prompt. The open-ended question not only means that students could answer in a variety of ways, but also that it might be easy to fall into a trap of answering in an unrelated or uninteresting manner. The author here does a good job of directly answering the prompt by providing clear examples of their travels around the world. Their response also goes beyond merely listing experiences; rather, they tell stories and describe some of the notable people they have met along the way. By telling stories and adopting a whimsical tone that evokes the wanderlust of travel, they elevate the impact of their response. 

We also learn a fair amount about the author through their stories and personal reflections. We see that they are concerned about social justice through their retelling of the interactions in South Africa. We see them reflecting on the universal joys of singing and dancing: “ But beyond those dissimilarities, I saw singing, dancing and laughing everywhere in the world. ” In the closing paragraph, we learn that they are adaptable and willing to undergo lifelong learning. Thus, another reason this essay shines is because it not only tells us what travels/experiences the author has engaged in, but it provides deeper introspection regarding how they have grown from these experiences.

While the essay is beautiful, and the fast-moving pace matches the feeling of seeing unfamiliar places for the first time, the narrative runs the risk of being too wide-ranging. The introductory story of falling onto a bed of cacti could warrant an entire essay unto itself, yet the author does not return to it anywhere else in their response. They missed an opportunity to bring the response full circle by ruminating on that once more in their conclusion. 

Another thing to be careful of is how the privilege inherent in international travel might cause the author to see the life through a certain lens. Although they remark upon how their family prioritizes experiences over material wealth, the fact is that extensive international travel relies on having material wealth to pay for costs like airfare and housing. It is important to demonstrate humility and awareness of privilege when responding to college essay prompts, and this is no exception. 

Where to Get Your Essays Edited 

At top schools like the Ivies, your essays account for around 25% of your admissions decision after you clear the academic thresholds. Why is this? Most students applying to the Ivy League will have stellar academics and extracurriculars. Your essays are your chance to stand out and humanize your application.

After reading your essays over and over, it can be difficult to judge your writing objectively. That’s why we created our Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. Since they don’t know you personally, they can be a more objective judge of whether your personality shines through, and whether you’ve fully answered the prompt. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

Login or sign up to be automatically entered into our next $10,000 scholarship giveaway

Get Started

• College Search
• College Search Map
• Graduate Programs
• Featured Colleges
• Scholarship Search
• Lists & Rankings
• User Resources

Articles & Advice

• All Categories
• Ask the Experts
• Campus Visits
• Catholic Colleges and Universities
• Christian Colleges and Universities
• College Admission
• College Athletics
• College Diversity
• Counselors and Consultants
• Education and Teaching
• Financial Aid
• Graduate School
• Health and Medicine
• International Students
• Internships and Careers
• Majors and Academics
• Performing and Visual Arts
• Public Colleges and Universities
• Science and Engineering
• Student Life
• Transfer Students
• Why CollegeXpress
• $10,000 Scholarship
• CollegeXpress Store
• Corporate Website
• Terms of Use
• Privacy Policy
• CA and EU Privacy Policy

Articles & Advice > Graduate School > Articles

3 Great Grad School Application Essay Examples

The grad school personal statement is an important part of your application. Here are a few good graduate admission essay examples to inspire you.

by CollegeXpress

Last Updated: Jan 3, 2024

Originally Posted: Jun 15, 2017

Graduate school application essays, personal statements, and letters of intent can be a major hurdle to overcome in the application process. Getting just the right words on paper to convey why you want to go to grad school and the impact you intend to have using your degree is a lot to ask. To help you get some inspiration and tell your story the right way, check out these three essay examples. Every essay here comes from a successful grad school application, and after reading the essay we break down just what makes it good. And you’re going to love their stories.

Daniel Masciello, Juris Doctor

University of Connecticut Class of 2015

T ry. To get. Some. Slee—it’s no use.

It’s 3:00 am, 90 minutes before our day at work in the landfills of rural Thailand is set to begin, and the 60-watt bulb is still shining bright overhead. It is radiant.

Directly on my left is one grown man’s bare armpit; to my right is more of the same. I keep my nose pointed at the ceiling. I can’t lift my arms because I am too big, a Caucasian beetle trying to fit into this Thai ant colony.

I’ve been lying still for the better part of six hours now, unable to determine exactly why my host family insists on leaving the brightest light in the house on all night (to this day, still a mystery). It is not for a child’s sake; I, at 22 years old, am the youngest in the home. I’m also the only American. Five grown men, lined up snugly on a queen-sized mattress, are soundly sleeping while I contemplate excuses for not working in the landfill that day.

Twelve hours later, over sticky rice and “fresh” vegetables (from the landfill), I try to call out some of my bunkmates for being afraid of the dark. Nobody laughs at my jokes, but they don’t stop smiling either. Perhaps they don’t understand my infantile Thai. From what I can understand of them, they enjoy talking about how grumpy I’ve been all day. No sleep for some 60-odd hours and putting in two grueling days in the landfill, filtering through mountains of trash from the nearby city of Khon Kaen, looking for yogurt containers and car batteries in the hot Thai sun—these things can change a man’s general disposition.

But I did wake up and go to work with my host family. No, I was not prepared physically or mentally, nor was I in the best of moods that day. But the smiling way of the Thai people is infectious, and it wasn’t long before I was smiling too that night, stomach full and ready for more...

That was back in the fall of 2008. The study abroad program I was participating in revolved around studying specific issues (damning rivers, mining minerals, razing slums, etc.), staying with a village that was negatively affected by an issue, and then working to help solve the problem. It was not uncommon to have sessions lasting eight or nine hours just to prepare for a town meeting the next day. Free time after exchanges and interviews would be spent working in the fields with the villagers or perhaps working on our program’s publications. It was not your typical study abroad experience. I have yet to learn of another like it.

It was also challenging at times. Thailand changed my view on a lot of things for the better, including what it means to truly work hard. As a waiter back home, it was a routine practice to work 40 hours a week in addition to going to class and studying. Still, sometimes I wonder if I used jobs outside of class as a crutch. I always had the excuse: I have to work to support myself. But so do a lot of people. And for some of those people, like many of the villagers in Thailand, working extra hours is not temporary. It's a way of life.

At the time I'm not sure I truly appreciated the privilege I had of going to college, as my undergraduate GPA might indicate. Part of that disappointing number is that I feel as if I was afraid of putting 100% of my effort into school. If I was to put all my effort in and still get mediocre grades, I would have considered myself a failure. Apparently I couldn’t or refused to handle that. How cowardly, not to mention foolish!

But while I was in Thailand, I developed a confidence in myself that I simply hadn’t been able to locate before. On multiple occasions I tasted the failure that comes with studying complex issues in a foreign land. Each time it tasted horrible. But I worked on these failures.

For example, I nagged my homestay families to help me with my Thai and forced myself to request constructive criticism in a group setting. Through these trials I discovered the sweetest feeling of them all: perseverance. That meal next to the landfill, described above, was one of the most deliciously memorable meals of my life for that same reason. I was exhausted and maybe a little bit grumpy, but I learned to work through it—and smile too.

I am well aware that law school will probably force me to even further revise my definition of hard work and present challenges and setbacks the likes of which I may not have yet experienced. But I would like to face these challenges, and most importantly overcome them, at your school. I hope my letters of recommendation and LSAT score give the indication that I am capable of doing so. This essay, lastly, is a chance for me to convince you that I can and will. I look forward to hearing from you.

Why this essay is great

Try to stop reading this personal statement, we dare you. The introduction grabs you and doesn’t let go. But besides spinning a great yarn that also says a lot about Daniel’s values, this application essay has an important function: it thoughtfully and maturely addresses any concerns the graduate admission committee might have regarding Daniel’s undergraduate academic performance. Showing rather than telling, he depicts a person who is prepared to do the work to overcome obstacles and learn from mistakes. And since he was admitted to the grad program, clearly it worked.

Related:  How to Know If Law School Is Right for You

Bridget Sullivan, Master of Arts in Higher Education Administration

Boston College Class of 2017                                                                                                    

I did not know higher education existed as a field until I came to college. Despite this, it has surprisingly been the field that has had the largest impact on my college experience. It has given me direction going forward.

College has been my most important experience so far, in that it has allowed me to better understand how I interact with my environment and how others experience the world around them. Without the Student Affairs professionals I have interacted with over the past four years, I would not be where I am today. I hope that in my future as a Student Affairs professional I can give students the great experience I have been privileged to receive. I will take the lessons I have learned and those that I will learn in the future to improve the college experience for many future generations going forward. 

I have enjoyed being a Resident Advisor, a Parent Orientation Leader, and an Assistant Resident Director while attending the University of Massachusetts Lowell for the past four years. All of these jobs fall under the Office of Residence Life. These opportunities have been cornerstones of my college education. They have taught me the long-term and transferrable skills of organization, conflict management, and supervision.

I have most enjoyed being an Assistant Resident Director, as I get to work with the Resident Advisors and Resident Director in a more administrative capacity. The ARD works closely with the RD to get the work done and hold RAs accountable. I think my favorite part of being an ARD this year has been working with the RAs to make sure they have the best experience they can, while at the same time making sure they complete their work well and on time. I enjoy helping RAs and other students reach their full potential, and I feel that it is a learning process for me too. The ARD position has shown me how much I value helping others on the path I have set for myself through my experiences with the RAs I supervise.

Because of the ARD role I have been afforded, I have had the opportunity to see how this potential career may play out. I feel confident about my ability to transition to the professional side of the field because the ARD position has already forced me to take on many of these steps. I tested the waters of the potential career in my RA role last year; this year as an ARD has shown me that I know I can succeed. 

I am passionate about student affairs and higher education because it is an opportunity to work with college students and help them grow and develop. I truly believe that there isn’t a more rewarding career than one that allows you to help others. This field allows me to assist others every day at a time in their lives when many students need it most. It was my developmental path, and I want to give that support to others.

So far my academics and daily practice have not been linked nor intentional. I am excited to be able to make this so by starting a graduate program in higher education. Understanding my former responsibilities in terms of theory and learning how to turn new theories into practice is a process I cannot wait to begin. 

I know the Lynch School of Education can assist me in achieving this goal through their program in Higher Education Administration. The opportunity to study in the Boston area will give me a multitude of professional development opportunities that would be hard to find anywhere else. If I am admitted, I will work hard to maximize my time at the Lynch School and become a young professional who can innovate and improve upon current practices in the field.

This personal statement takes you on a journey, as Bridget discovers her calling as an undergrad, gets all the hands-on experience in it she can, and figures out the perfect way to make it her career: grad school. And not just any grad school—Boston College in particular! There’s no doubt in your mind that she’s going to take advantage of everything BC’s master’s program has to offer, and she has the real-world experience to back her claims up.

Related:  Great Alternative Jobs for Education Majors Who Don't Want to Teach

Haviland Johannesson-Forgit,  Master of Arts in Arts Administration

Vermont State University , formerly Castleton University Class of 2018

While contemplating how I should approach my personal and professional goals and how earning an advanced degree will support them, I came upon my application essay for Goddard College that I wrote close to three years ago:

“Oftentimes, children who lack positive, authoritative figures and emotional support end up making unwise choices that stay with them and induce prejudice and judgment from other people who may be ignorant to what caused these children to make the choices in the first place. This cultural stigmatism that exists in our society often leads to these children being segmented into a disenfranchised group as adults. The misunderstanding and neglect that occurs in communities towards socially disenfranchised children goes against everything that I was raised to take in regard when attempting to understand a person.

I envision my studies reaching children and young adults in many different communities. It is my goal to immerse myself in rural, inner-city, and lower-income communities and meet these children before or in the midst of their time when the decisions they make can influence where their life may lead. I believe that the teachings of dance as a holistic lifestyle will provide outlets of knowledge and self-expression for these children and young adults that will lead them in positive directions.”

In this essay we were expected to write about our intentions and ambitions for our studies; to address the passions that acted as the drive for our work during our attendance at the college as well as after graduation. In returning to this essay, I was pleased to discover that my ambition and dedication to using the performing arts as a source of structure and reliability for youth in this country has not changed. When applying to Goddard College for my undergraduate degree I knew that I would want to continue on to pursue my graduate degree afterwards to enhance myself as a qualified candidate working in my field. Earning my advanced degree will enable me to go forth in the world as a confident and learned individual prepared to create the positive opportunities I envisioned years ago.

While earning my advanced degree, I intend to learn the details and structure that is needed to successfully run arts organizations. The closeness that Castleton University has with the Association for Arts Administration in developing its program for the MA in Arts Administration encourages me; it assures me that the quality and rigor of the program at Castleton is the right fit for my personal and professional aspirations. The efficacy of the program combined with the professional portfolio of projects demonstrating a mastery of skills in a range of areas in the arts and the six-credit culminating internship is exactly what I am looking for in an advanced degree program.

My background in the performing arts is broad. Not only have I have spent many years performing in productions of theater and dance, but I have also devoted my time and learning to other aspects of performance arts, whether it be technical, political, or social. My time attending Goddard College has proven to be extremely educational in training me in areas of social justice and cultural realizations of privilege, class, and human rights. With an accomplished and culturally diverse faculty and staff, the College requires its students to incorporate this training into their degrees, which makes for globally conscious citizens.

What I stand to bring to Castleton University’s campus is a vibrant love for the performing arts accompanied by acute social awareness training. My dedication to improving myself as an individual in my career is resolute; earning my advanced degree is vital to my continuing as a professional in a field so important to the foundation of our culture. I look forward to the opportunity of earning my Master of Arts in Arts Administration at Castleton University. 

Haviland draws a remarkable line from her undergraduate studies and goals to the present day . She’s been on a clear path for a long time, and grad school has always been part of the plan and the logical next step for her career. Her unwavering commitment to arts education and dance as a means for furthering social justice will serve her well professionally—and it probably impressed the graduate admission folks too. Haviland also references specific features of Castleton University’s graduate program, showing she’s genuinely interested in the school and its unique strengths.

Related:  Careers for People Who Want to Use Their Creativity

We hope these essay examples helped you get a better idea of where to take your grad school personal statements. The most important part of writing your essay is ensuring every word you put on the page is authentically you and true to your goals. You can write a great essay and get into a good grad school; just give yourself the time and flexibility by starting early and focusing on your story. Good luck!

Need help getting the ball rolling on your graduate essays? Check out these  Good Strategies for Writing Grad School Personal Essays from the experts at GradSchools.com.

Like what you’re reading?

Join the CollegeXpress community! Create a free account and we’ll notify you about new articles, scholarship deadlines, and more.

Tags: admission essays essay examples grad school grad school admission grad school applications personal statement examples personal statements

Join our community of over 5 million students!

CollegeXpress has everything you need to simplify your college search, get connected to schools, and find your perfect fit.

Lorena Bacallao

High School Class of 2022

CollegeXpress was the foundation of my college search process. Because of CollegeXpress, I was able to make a more informed and confident decision as to where it was best to pursue my higher education. I have recommended this website to fellow peers and for first-generation students like me. It’s a website I will continue to promote because of how simple it was to use and how many opportunities were offered to me at my fingertips!

Courtney Smith

CollegeXpress has been a huge help! The website is very organized with finding the right scholarship for anyone and anything. With CollegeXpress, I've been able to find many scholarship opportunities to apply for. Not only that, I'm also able to search for the colleges I have interest in and see what’s required and what scholarships they offer. I've learned a lot from CollegeXpress. They've helped me in many ways to achieve my goals!

Laura Wallace

High School Class of 2019

My favorite part of CollegeXpress is that it features student writers so I get an inside perspective from students slightly older and farther along than me. I realize that other college websites also utilize student writers; however, I relate the most to the college writers that I read articles from on CollegeXpress.

Alexandra Adriano

$2,000 Community Service Scholarship Winner, 2016

I've used CollegeXpress quite a bit as a senior, particularly for colleges and scholarships, so it's been a very big asset in that respect! I would recommend it to anyone looking to pursue a college education, especially seniors! This scholarship will help me achieve my goals in ways I couldn't have before, and I know that there are opportunities like that for everyone on the website and in the magazines!

Nazira Abdelkhalek

$2,000 Community Service Scholarship Winner, 2014

I am very honored to be this year’s recipient of the Multicultural Student Community Service Scholarship! This scholarship is vital to helping me achieve and fulfill my dreams, and gives me confidence and motivation as I begin my college career. The CollegeXpress website has been invaluable over the past year as I planned my educational and professional goals. I highly recommend it to all students as they begin to focus on their college and career interests. The website is a wonderful guide to schools and scholarships.

•   Our Best Advice for Aspiring Graduate Students
•   The Top Things to Know About Prerequisites for Graduate School
•   When Is the Best Time to Apply to Law School?
•   The Ultimate Guide to Graduate School Applications
•   What You Need to Know About 5 Common Graduate Admission Exams

Colleges You May Be Interested In

High Point University

High Point, NC

Freed-Hardeman University

Henderson, TN

Malone University

Bridgewater College

Bridgewater, VA

Bushnell University

Personalize your experience on CollegeXpress.

With this information, we'll display content relevant to your interests. By subscribing, you agree to receive CollegeXpress emails and to make your information available to colleges, scholarship programs, and other companies that have relevant/related offers.

Already have an account?

Log in to be directly connected to

Not a CollegeXpress user?

Don't want to register.

Provide your information below to connect with

• PRO Courses Guides New Tech Help Pro Expert Videos About wikiHow Pro Upgrade Sign In
• EDIT Edit this Article
• EXPLORE Tech Help Pro About Us Random Article Quizzes Request a New Article Community Dashboard This Or That Game Popular Categories Arts and Entertainment Artwork Books Movies Computers and Electronics Computers Phone Skills Technology Hacks Health Men's Health Mental Health Women's Health Relationships Dating Love Relationship Issues Hobbies and Crafts Crafts Drawing Games Education & Communication Communication Skills Personal Development Studying Personal Care and Style Fashion Hair Care Personal Hygiene Youth Personal Care School Stuff Dating All Categories Arts and Entertainment Finance and Business Home and Garden Relationship Quizzes Cars & Other Vehicles Food and Entertaining Personal Care and Style Sports and Fitness Computers and Electronics Health Pets and Animals Travel Education & Communication Hobbies and Crafts Philosophy and Religion Work World Family Life Holidays and Traditions Relationships Youth
• Browse Articles
• Learn Something New
• Quizzes Hot
• This Or That Game
• Train Your Brain
• Explore More
• Support wikiHow
• About wikiHow
• Log in / Sign up
• Education and Communications
• College University and Postgraduate
• Academic Writing

How to Write Any High School Essay

Last Updated: March 22, 2023 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Emily Listmann, MA and by wikiHow staff writer, Hunter Rising . Emily Listmann is a private tutor in San Carlos, California. She has worked as a Social Studies Teacher, Curriculum Coordinator, and an SAT Prep Teacher. She received her MA in Education from the Stanford Graduate School of Education in 2014. There are 14 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 563,302 times.

Writing an essay is an important basic skill that you will need to succeed in high school and college. While essays will vary depending on your teacher and the assignment, most essays will follow the same basic structure. By supporting your thesis with information in your body paragraphs, you can successfully write an essay for any course!

Writing Help

Planning Your Essay

• Expository essays uses arguments to investigate and explain a topic.
• Persuasive essays try to convince the readers to believe or accept your specific point of view
• Narrative essays tell about a real-life personal experience.
• Descriptive essays are used to communicate deeper meaning through the use of descriptive words and sensory details.

• Look through books or use search engines online to look at the broad topic before narrowing your ideas down into something more concise.

• For example, the statement “Elephants are used to perform in circuses” does not offer an arguable point. Instead, you may try something like “Elephants should not be kept in the circus since they are mistreated.” This allows you to find supporting arguments or for others to argue against it.
• Keep in mind that some essay writing will not require an argument, such as a narrative essay. Instead, you might focus on a pivotal point in the story as your main claim.

• Talk to your school’s librarian for direction on specific books or databases you could use to find your information.
• Many schools offer access to online databases like EBSCO or JSTOR where you can find reliable information.
• Wikipedia is a great starting place for your research, but it can be edited by anyone in the world. Instead, look at the article’s references to find the sites where the information really came from.
• Use Google Scholar if you want to find peer-reviewed scholarly articles for your sources.
• Make sure to consider the author’s credibility when reviewing sources. If a source does not include the author’s name, then it might not be a good option.

• Outlines will vary in size or length depending on how long your essay needs to be. Longer essays will have more body paragraphs to support your arguments.

Starting an Essay

• Make sure your quotes or information are accurate and not an exaggeration of the truth, or else readers will question your validity throughout the rest of your essay.

• For example, “Because global warming is causing the polar ice caps to melt, we need to eliminate our reliance on fossil fuels within the next 5 years.” Or, “Since flavored tobacco appeals mainly to children and teens, it should be illegal for tobacco manufacturers to sell these products.”
• The thesis is usually the last or second to last sentence in your introduction.

• Use the main topics of your body paragraphs as an idea of what to include in your mini-outline.

Writing the Body Paragraphs

• Think of your topic sentences as mini-theses so your paragraphs only argue a specific point.

• Many high school essays are written in MLA or APA style. Ask your teacher what format they want you to follow if it’s not specified.

• Unless you’re writing a personal essay, avoid the use of “I” statements since this could make your essay look less professional.

• For example, if your body paragraphs discuss similar points in a different way, you can use phrases like “in the same way,” “similarly,” and “just as” to start other body paragraphs.
• If you are posing different points, try phrases like “in spite of,” “in contrast,” or “however” to transition.

Concluding Your Essay

• For example, if your thesis was, “The cell phone is the most important invention in the past 30 years,” then you may restate the thesis in your conclusion like, “Due to the ability to communicate anywhere in the world and access information easily, the cell phone is a pivotal invention in human history.”
• If you’re only writing a 1-page paper, restating your main ideas isn’t necessary.

• For example, if you write an essay discussing the themes of a book, think about how the themes are affecting people’s lives today.

• Try to pick the same type of closing sentence as you used as your attention getter.

• Including a Works Cited page shows that the information you provided isn’t all your own and allows the reader to visit the sources to see the raw information for themselves.
• Avoid using online citation machines since they may be outdated.

Revising the Paper

• Have a peer or parent read through your essay to see if they understand what point you’re trying to make.

• For example, if your essay discusses the history of an event, make sure your sentences flow in a chronological way in the order the events happened.

• If you cut parts out of your essay, make sure to reread it to see if it affects the flow of how it reads.

Community Q&A

• Allow ample time to layout your essay before you get started writing. Thanks Helpful 2 Not Helpful 0
• If you have writer's block , take a break for a few minutes. Thanks Helpful 2 Not Helpful 2
• Check the rubric provided by your teacher and compare your essay to it. This helps you gauge what you need to include or change. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 1

• Avoid using plagiarism since this could result in academic consequences. Thanks Helpful 5 Not Helpful 1

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://www.grammarly.com/blog/types-of-essays/
• ↑ https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/thesis-statements/
• ↑ https://guides.libs.uga.edu/reliability
• ↑ https://facultyweb.ivcc.edu/rrambo/eng1001/outline.htm
• ↑ https://examples.yourdictionary.com/20-compelling-hook-examples-for-essays.html
• ↑ https://wts.indiana.edu/writing-guides/how-to-write-a-thesis-statement.html
• ↑ https://guidetogrammar.org/grammar/five_par.htm
• ↑ https://learning.hccs.edu/faculty/jason.laviolette/persuasive-essay-outline
• ↑ https://academicguides.waldenu.edu/writingcenter/paragraphs/topicsentences
• ↑ https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/transitions/
• ↑ https://writingcenter.fas.harvard.edu/pages/ending-essay-conclusions
• ↑ https://libguides.newcastle.edu.au/how-to-write-an-essay/conclusion
• ↑ https://pitt.libguides.com/citationhelp
• ↑ https://writingcenter.unc.edu/tips-and-tools/revising-drafts/

About This Article

Writing good essays is an important skill to have in high school, and you can write a good one by planning it out and organizing it well. Before you start, do some research on your topic so you can come up with a strong, specific thesis statement, which is essentially the main argument of your essay. For instance, your thesis might be something like, “Elephants should not be kept in the circus because they are mistreated.” Once you have your thesis, outline the paragraphs for your essay. You should have an introduction that includes your thesis, at least 3 body paragraphs that explain your main points, and a conclusion paragraph. Start each body paragraph with a topic sentence that states the main point of the paragraph. As you write your main points, make sure to include evidence and quotes from your research to back it up. To learn how to revise your paper, read more from our Writing co-author! Did this summary help you? Yes No

• Send fan mail to authors

Reader Success Stories

Ariel Arias Petzoldt

Aug 25, 2020

Did this article help you?

Nov 22, 2017

Rose Mpangala

Oct 24, 2018

Featured Articles

Trending Articles

Watch Articles

• Terms of Use
• Privacy Policy
• Do Not Sell or Share My Info
• Not Selling Info

Get all the best how-tos!

Sign up for wikiHow's weekly email newsletter

Which program are you applying to?

Grad school personal statement examples.

Get accepted to your top choice graduate school with your compelling personal statement.

You are a thoughtful, intelligent, and unique individual. You already know that – now you just need to convince top grad school adcoms that you’re a cut above the rest.

By reading the sample graduate school essays provided above, you should get a clear idea of how to translate your qualifications, passions, and individual experiences into words. You will see that the samples here employ a creative voice, use detailed examples, and draw the reader in with a clear writing style. Most importantly, these personal statements are compelling – each one does a fine job of convincing you that the author of the essay is a human being worth getting to know, or better yet, worth having in your next top grad school class. Grad school statement of purpose sample essays should be engaging and attention grabbing.

Here are the 5 things to include in a grad school personal statement:

• Engaging opening
• Consistent use of opening imagery
• A clear theme that ties the essay together
• Solid structure
• Good use of transitions

Grad school essay example #1: The environmental studies student

Two scenes stand out in my mind from my visit to Brazil’s Wetland: Forests burning before seed planting and trees as hedgerows. Before the planting season, I could see the leafless remnants of burnt trees still standing.  READ MORE>>>

• Attention-grabbing opening: The author immediately grabs your attention by placing them in the midst of the scene and vividly conveying what the author saw.
• Vivid, visual opening: You can almost smell the burnt trees and see the ranches and farms thriving behind their protective forests.
• A clear theme that ties the essay together: The writer clearly states an interest in the clash between economic and environmental concerns throughout the essay. Discussion of coursework taken and how it influenced the author’s decision to pursue both master’s and PhD in Environmental Studies also flows through the essay.
• Solid structure: Thanks to the continued theme of the clash between economic and environmental concerns, this is a very easy essay to read. Mentions of different courses that piqued the writer’s interest also help to hold this essay together.
• Good use of transitions: Transitions help your reader move from one topic to the next as you connect the topic in the preceding paragraph to the topic in the next. They can consist of a few words or a phrase or simply the repetition of the topic by name as opposed to using a pronoun.  The writer used the terminology connecting economics and the environment at the end of the first paragraph, and uses the same words at the beginning of the second one.

Grad school essay example #2: The engineering student

A simple bridge truss was the first structure I ever analyzed. The simple combination of beams that could hold cars, trains, and trucks over long spans of water fascinated me. Having the tools to analyze the loads on the truss further increased my interest in structures.  READ MORE>>>

• Attention-grabbing opening: This writer immediately shared his fascination with bridge truss designs and makes the reader want to learn more about structural engineering.
• Consistent use of opening imagery: The writer begins his essay with the image of the first structure he ever analyzed – a simple bridge truss. This bridge truss becomes the basis for all of his future study of structural engineering and design. Toward the end of the essay, he states that design structure has fascinated him since he saw that first image of a bridge truss for his first engineering class.
• A clear theme that ties the essay together: The theme of structural design runs throughout the essay. It is mentioned right at the beginning of the essay, in following paragraphs and in the final paragraph as well. Toward the end of the essay, the writer discusses how a grad degree in engineering will help him reach both his short- and long-term goals. 
• Solid structure: Since the theme of structural design and engineering are so strong throughout the essay, it is easy to follow along as the writer talks about different classes he has taken, an internship he did, and even an experience as a student volunteer. 
• Good use of transitions: The author ends his first paragraph talking about the textbook for his first engineering class, and continues on this theme in the next paragraph. He then transitioned from classes he took to student volunteer research he participated in. When discussing what he plans to study in grad school, the same terminology is used again, joining the whole essay into one cohesive whole. 

Grad school essay example #3: The public health student

What if people lived healthier lives, practiced preventive medicine, and took precautions against illness and disease? My days in the physical therapy department often made me think about the prevention of injuries as well as the injuries themselves. I was already doubting my future career choice as a physical therapist.  READ MORE>>>

• Attention-grabbing opening: The author of this essay makes an early case for why he wants to leave the field of physical therapy and move to the public health arena. You can almost feel the writer’s frustration with physical therapy and their need to find a way to reach a broader population, provide primary care to them, while challenging and motivating the writer to improve.
• Consistent use of opening imagery: The idea of providing primary care to large populations and the benefits the population could get from this care are woven through the whole essay. Finding ways to improve the health of underprivileged populations is also found throughout the essay.
• A clear theme that ties the essay together: Provision of primary care to large communities is a theme that runs throughout the essay. The author’s work at a county health clinic cemented this idea and led to him choosing to pursue an education and career in public health.
• Solid structure: The theme of providing primary care to large underprivileged populations is a theme that ties this personal statement together.
• Good use of transitions: The words “public health” occur in every paragraph. The author ends the second paragraph talking about work in the field, and begins the next paragraph by mentioning field experience. This makes it easy to follow the flow of the essay.

Grad school essay example #4: The physician assistant student

I was nine years old and in the middle of Mrs. Russell’s third grade class when my stomach began to itch uncontrollably. I remember thinking to myself, “Did I get bitten by a bug?” Completely distracted by the incessant itching, I asked Mrs. Russell if I could go to the nurse’s office. When the nurse lifted my shirt, I saw the biggest “bug bites” I had ever seen covering the majority of my stomach.  READ MORE>>>

Note:  The character limit for the CASPA PS is 5,000 characters with spaces. You need to keep this limit in mind as you write your personal statement.

• Attention-grabbing opening and consistent use of opening imagery: The writer of this essay immediately grabs the reader’s attention by making them feel her fear and frustration of having an undiagnosed medical condition. You can also feel her relief when she is finally diagnosed – and treated – by a PA.
• Vivid, visual opening and consistent use of opening imagery: Your heart beats a little faster as you read how a 9-year-old girl’s medical condition couldn’t be diagnosed until a visit with a PA who helped her discover her passion. She continues to illustrate her love of all things medical throughout the essay.
• A clear theme that ties the essay together: Her essay has a clear theme – her interest in medicine and healthcare, and her connection with PAs. This theme is touched upon in every paragraph of her personal statement. Whether discussing her love of learning or the skills learned through sports, the ultimate goal of becoming a PA comes through. 
• Solid structure: The author’s themes of love of learning and medicine, and the desire to become a PA to help others flow through this essay. They make it cohesive, readable, and interesting. 
• Good use of transition: The writer shows how her interest in being a PA grows throughout her life through a series of events – her illness, attending a youth leadership forum where she first saw infected human organs, and finally her mother’s own illness and the care given by the same PA who diagnosed the author at the age of 9. The imagery of the “itchy little” girl from the first paragraph appears again in the last paragraph, pulling the entire personal statement together.

5 FATAL FLAWS TO AVOID

In your grad school statement of purpose, get expert help with your graduate school application.

Our world-class team helps you stand out from the competition and get accepted.

APPLICATION STRATEGY / PRIMARY AND SECONDARY ESSAY REVIEW / INTERVIEW PREP

TOP 10 GRADUATE SCHOOLS

HAVE AN ACCEPTANCE RATE OF UNDER 20% 

AN OUTSTANDING GRADUATE SCHOOL STATEMENT OF PURPOSE IS CRITICAL IN THE APPLICATION PROCESS

You want to get accepted to a top school, but you need to show you're more qualified than other applicants. U.S. News reports the average graduate school acceptance rate is 20% for the top 10 engineering programs and 15% for the top 10 education programs, but our grad school clients enjoy an  85% ACCEPTANCE RATE.  How can you best your competition? By writing an excellent statement of purpose.

Accepted has been helping graduate school applicants gain acceptance to top programs since 1994.

Get accepted speak with an admissions expert today.

Read the essay of a student who got into all 8 Ivy League schools, Stanford, MIT, and Caltech

Martin Altenburg, a 17-year-old from Fargo, North Dakota, achieved the impressive feat of gaining acceptance into every Ivy League college .

He also gained acceptance into Stanford University, the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, the California Institute of Technology, and the University of Chicago.

The high-school senior had stellar standardized-test scores — a 35 on the ACT — and a demonstrated interest in the sciences, attending a selective program at MIT during the summer of his junior year.

For his Common Application admissions essay, Altenburg, who also competes in cross country, track, and swimming, chose to write about the thoughts that race through his head on a distance run.

Related stories

He graciously shared his essay with Business Insider. It's reprinted verbatim below.

My favorite time to run is at night.

This particular run in early August brought a break to the humid, muggy weather I left on the East Coast. I used my body as a human psychrometer, knowing that the cold feeling of evaporating sweat signaled much needed dry air.

I cross over the bridge into Minnesota. Out of my three sports, cross country is definitely my worst — but I continue to be hooked on it. Unlike swimming and track, my motivation to run is heavily intrinsic. I live for the long runs I take on by myself. While they rarely happen during our season, we were assigned a long run to complete over our first weekend of cross country. In reality, I was supposed to go six miles, but felt eight gave me more time to explore the home I had just returned to. My mind begins to wander as I once again find my rhythm.

My train of thought while running is similar to the way one thinks in the minutes before sleep — except one has more control over how these thoughts progress and what tangents they move off of. While special relativity would be the "proper" thing to think about, especially at MITES, I revive the violin repertoire I had turned away from for so long and begin playing it in my head. I'm now at the edge of town in between the cornfields. The streaming floodlights on the open road give me a sense of lonely curiosity, reminiscent of the opening lines of Wieniawski's first violin concerto. I come up with adaptations of the melody in my head, experimenting with an atonality similar to Stravinsky's.

I turn south onto a highway heading towards downtown. The dark night sky is broken by the oncoming light pollution. While I've longed for a road trip across the country, the neon lights from Sunset Lanes will have to do for Las Vegas. Turning west, I see a man and perk up as I try to look more menacing than I really am. But I relinquish. I realize that I did such an act simply because of the color of his skin. I kick myself for reverting to passive racism — something I spent much of the summer trying to overcome.

The bridge over Main Avenue leads me back into North Dakota and downtown Fargo. My city is on the eve of its annual pride week — the largest in North Dakota. Beyond the rainbow flags lining downtown, I see the Catholic cathedral I attend every Sunday outside of the summer. The juxtaposition brings back memories of trying to come to terms with my own beliefs. The conservatism on my mom's side of the family often clashes with the more liberal views of my dad's family. Fargo is known for its "nice" attitude, but the discussion of controversial issues is often set aside in favor of maintaining peace. On the surface this can be good, but it makes change a long and cumbersome process, and has caused me to become very independent in finding my own belief system — something especially difficult when these beliefs may have to do with your future identity.

The remaining part of my run is short and uneventful. The fact that the traffic lights have switched to blinking yellow and red means that I have been out later than usual. When I get home, I find that my run took somewhere around an hour — I honestly don't care about time during my distance runs. Longs runs are often seen as a runner battling the distance rather than time. But for me, long runs are a journey — both physically and mentally. Each time I run a route, I understand my surroundings and city more and more, and couldn't be more excited and sad to know that I'm leaving this place in a year's time.

Watch: This animation shows how far your sneeze can actually travel

• Main content

2 Med School Essays That Admissions Officers Loved

Here are tips on writing a medical school personal statement and examples of essays that stood out.

2 Great Med School Personal Statements

Getty Images

A compelling medical school admissions essay can address nearly any topic the applicant is interested in, as long as it conveys the applicant's personality.

A personal statement is often a pivotal factor in medical school admissions decisions.

"The essay really can cause me to look more deeply at the entire application," Dr. Stephen Nicholas, former senior associate dean of admissions with the Columbia University Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons , told U.S. News in 2017. "So I do think it's pretty important."

A compelling medical school admissions essay can address nearly any topic the applicant is interested in, as long as it conveys the applicant's personality, according to Dr. Barbara Kazmierczak, director of the M.D.-Ph.D. Program and a professor of medicine and microbial pathogenesis with the Yale School of Medicine.

“The passion that the writer is bringing to this topic tells us about the individual rather than the topic that they’re describing, and the essay is the place for us to learn about the applicant – who they are and what experiences have brought them to this point of applying to medical school,” she told U.S. News in 2017.

Rachel Rudeen, former admissions coordinator for the University of Minnesota Medical School , says personal statements help medical schools determine whether applicants have the character necessary to excel as a doctor. "Grit is something we really look for," she says.

Evidence of humility and empathy , Rudeen adds, are also pluses.

Why Medical Schools Care About Personal Statements

The purpose of a personal statement is to report the events that inspired and prepared a premed to apply to medical school, admissions experts say. This personal essay helps admissions officers figure out whether a premed is ready for med school, and it also clarifies whether a premed has a compelling rationale for attending med school, these experts explain.

When written well, a medical school personal statement conveys a student's commitment to medicine and injects humanity into an admissions process that might otherwise feel cold and impersonal, according to admissions experts.

Glen Fogerty, associate dean of admissions and recruitment with the medical school at the University of Arizona—Phoenix , put it this way in an email: "To me, the strongest personal statements are the ones that share a personal connection. One where a candidate shares a specific moment, the spark that ignited their passion to become a physician or reaffirmed why they chose medicine as a career."

Dr. Viveta Lobo, an emergency medicine physician with the Stanford University School of Medicine in California who often mentors premeds, says the key thing to know about a personal statement is that it must indeed be personal, so it needs to reveal something meaningful. The essay should not be a dry piece of writing; it should make the reader feel for the author, says Lobo, director of academic conferences and continuing medical education with the emergency medicine department at Stanford.

A great personal statement has an emotional impact and "will 'do' something, not just 'say' something," Lobo wrote in an email. Admissions officers "read hundreds of essays – so before you begin, think of how yours will stand out, be unique and different," Lobo suggests.

How to Write a Personal Statement for Medical School

Lobo notes that an outstanding personal statement typically includes all of the following ingredients:

• An intriguing introduction that gets admissions officers' attention.
• Anecdotes that illustrate what kind of person the applicant is.
• Reflections about the meaning and impact of various life experiences .
• A convincing narrative about why medical school is the logical next step.
• A satisfying and optimistic conclusion.

"You should sound excited, and that passion should come through in your writing," Lobo explains.

A personal statement should tie together an applicant's past, present and future by explaining how previous experiences have led to this point and outlining long-term plans to contribute to the medical profession, Lobo said during a phone interview. Medical school admissions officers want to understand not only where an applicant has been but also the direction he or she is going, Lobo added.

When premeds articulate a vision of how they might assist others and improve society through the practice of medicine, it suggests that they aren't self-serving or simply interested in the field because of its prestige, Lobo says. It's ideal when premeds can eloquently describe a noble mission, she explains.

Elisabeth Fassas, author of "Making Pre-Med Count: Everything I Wish I'd Known Before Applying (Successfully) to Medical School," says premeds should think about the doctors they admire and reflect on why they admire them. Fassas, a first-year medical student at the University of Maryland , suggests pondering the following questions:

• "Why can you really only see yourself being a physician?"
• "What is it about being a doctor that has turned you on to this field?"
• "What kind of doctor do you imagine yourself being?"
• "Who do you want to be for your patients?"
• "What are you going to do specifically for your patients that only you can do?"

Fassas notes that many of the possible essay topics a med school hopeful can choose are subjects that other premeds can also discuss, such as a love of science. However, aspiring doctors can make their personal statements unique by articulating the lessons they learned from their life experiences, she suggests.

Prospective medical students need to clarify why medicine is a more suitable calling for them than other caring professions, health care fields and science careers, Fassas notes. They should demonstrate awareness of the challenges inherent in medicine and explain why they want to become doctors despite those difficulties, she says.

Tips on Crafting an Excellent Medical School Personal Statement

The first step toward creating an outstanding personal statement, Fassas says, is to create a list of significant memories. Premeds should think about which moments in their lives mattered the most and then identify the two or three stories that are definitely worth sharing.

Dr. Demicha Rankin, associate dean for admissions at the Ohio State University College of Medicine , notes that a personal statement should offer a compelling portrait of a person and should not be "a regurgitation of their CV."

The most outstanding personal statements are the ones that present a multifaceted perspective of the applicant by presenting various aspects of his or her identity, says Rankin, an associate professor of anesthesiology.

For example, a premed who was a swimmer might explain how the discipline necessary for swimming is analogous to the work ethic required to become a physician, Rankin says. Likewise, a pianist or another type of musician applying to medical school could convey how the listening skills and instrument-tuning techniques cultivated in music could be applicable in medicine, she adds.

Rankin notes that it's apparent when a premed has taken a meticulous approach to his or her personal statement to ensure that it flows nicely, and she says a fine essay is akin to a "well-woven fabric." One sign that a personal statement has been polished is when a theme that was explored at the beginning of the essay is also mentioned at the end, Rankin says, explaining that symmetry between an essay's introduction and conclusion makes the essay seem complete.

Rankin notes that the author of an essay might not see flaws in his or her writing that are obvious to others, so it's important for premeds to show their personal statement to trusted advisers and get honest feedback. That's one reason it's important to begin the writing process early enough to give yourself sufficient time to organize your thoughts, Rankin says, adding that a minimum of four weeks is typically necessary.

Mistakes to Avoid in a Medical School Personal Statement

One thing premeds should never do in an admissions essay is beg, experts say. Rankin says requests of any type – including a plea for an admissions interview – do not belong in a personal statement. Another pitfall to avoid, Rankin says, is ranting about controversial political subjects such as the death penalty or abortion.

If premeds fail to closely proofread their personal statement, the essay could end up being submitted with careless errors such as misspellings and grammar mistakes that could easily have been fixed, according to experts. Crafting a compelling personal statement typically necessitates multiple revisions, so premeds who skimp on revising might wind up with sloppy essays, some experts say.

However, when fine-tuning their personal statements, premeds should not automatically change their essays based on what others say, Fogerty warns.

"A common mistake on personal statements is having too many people review your statement, they make recommendations, you accept all of the changes and then – in the end – the statement is no longer your voice," Fogerty wrote in an email. It's essential that a personal statement sound like the applicant and represent who he or she is as a person, Fogerty says.

Dr. Nicholas Jones, a Georgia-based plastic and reconstructive surgeon, says the worst error that someone can make in the personal statement is to be inauthentic or deceptive.

"Do not lie. Do not fabricate," he warns.

Jones adds that premeds should not include a story in their personal statement that they are not comfortable discussing in-depth during a med school admissions interview . "If it's something too personal or you're very emotional and you don't want to talk about that, then don't put it in a statement."

Medical School Personal Statement Examples

Here are two medical school admissions essays that made a strong, positive impression on admissions officers. The first is from Columbia and the second is from the University of Minnesota. These personal statements are annotated with comments from admissions officers explaining what made these essays stand out.

Searching for a medical school? Get our complete rankings of Best Medical Schools.

Tags: medical school , education , students , graduate schools

Popular Stories

Best Colleges

Best Global Universities

Medical School Admissions Doctor

Best Graduate Schools

Top Medical Schools

You May Also Like

Premeds take 5 public health courses.

Rachel Rizal May 7, 2024

Fortune 500 CEOs With a Law Degree

Cole Claybourn May 7, 2024

Why It's Hard to Get Into Med School

A.R. Cabral May 6, 2024

Pros, Cons of Unaccredited Law Schools

Gabriel Kuris May 6, 2024

An MBA and Management Consulting

Sammy Allen May 2, 2024

Med School Access for Minority Students

Cole Claybourn May 2, 2024

Different jobs with med degree

Jarek Rutz April 30, 2024

Completing Medical School in Five Years

Kate Rix April 30, 2024

Dealing With Medical School Rejection

Kathleen Franco, M.D., M.S. April 30, 2024

Should I Get a Master's Before a Ph.D?

Andrew Warner April 29, 2024

High School Application Essay

Embarking on the high school application process can be daunting, but mastering the art of the application essay can set you apart. This comprehensive guide, enriched with essay examples , will navigate you through crafting an impactful and memorable high school application essay. From understanding the prompt to showcasing your unique story, we’ll provide practical tips and examples to enhance your writing skills, ensuring your essay stands out in the competitive world of high school admissions.

Download High School Application Essay Bundle

Essay writing as part of the application to enter the institution may sound kind of difficult. But it really wasn’t as the applicant was given a set of instructions on how to come up with what she or he had to write. They were given a topic to write and this was the test they had to take to see if they fit the qualifications to get admitted to the institution.  The most common topic to write in an essay was a career type. What you wanted to be when you grow up. It was a challenge but most of us have gone through that and could say, it was worth it.

3+ High School Application Essay Examples

1. high school application essay.

Free Download

2. Private High School Application Essay

3. 8th Grade High School Application Essay

How to Write a High School Admission Essay

Embarking on the journey of writing a high school admission essay can be a significant step in your educational path. This piece of writing, often referred to as a college essay or application essay, is more than just a formality. It’s a chance for you to showcase your personality and aspirations, making it crucial for not only high school applications but also for college and scholarship applications.

Understanding the Essay’s Purpose

At its core, the admission essay is your chance to provide a glimpse into who you are beyond your academic scores. It’s not just about showcasing your achievements; it’s about narrating your story and aspirations. This narrative is what the admission committee will use to distinguish you from other candidates, making it a key component of your middle school application essay or any other educational application process.

Choosing the Right Topic

Selecting an appropriate topic is essential. Your topic should reflect an aspect of your personality or an experience that has played a significant role in your personal development. Whether it’s a challenge you’ve overcome, a unique experience, or a personal achievement, it should give insight into your character and how it has shaped you. For a short essay for high school , choosing a concise yet impactful topic is vital.

Crafting Your Essay

Organizing your thoughts is the first step in the writing process. Draft an outline to structure your essay effectively. Begin with a captivating introduction, followed by a body that provides a deeper insight into your topic, and conclude with a summary that ties back to your main thesis, demonstrating why you are a great fit for the school.

Engaging Introduction

The introduction is crucial in grabbing the reader’s attention. Start with an engaging hook – it could be a compelling anecdote, a question, or a surprising fact. This initial engagement is particularly important in a short essay for high school, as you have limited space to make an impact.

Body of the Essay

In the body of your essay, provide detailed accounts of your experiences or reflections. Use vivid descriptions to bring your story to life. This part of the essay is where you can elaborate on your experiences, making it relevant in a scholarship essay or any admission essay.

Concluding Your Essay

Your conclusion should leave a lasting impression. It’s not just about ending your essay, but about tying your narrative back to the main goal – to showcase why you are a suitable candidate for the school. A strong conclusion is essential in any application essay , whether it’s for high school, college, or a scholarship.

Revising and Editing

Revision is key in the essay-writing process. Pay attention to clarity, detail, and the flow of your essay. Grammar and spelling are equally important. Consider getting feedback from others, as a fresh pair of eyes can often catch things you might have missed.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

Stay true to yourself in your essay. Avoid embellishing your experiences or straying from the essay prompt. Keep your language clear and straightforward, avoiding clichés and overly complex phrases.

Final Touches

Remember, your high school admission essay is a reflection of your personality. Let your individuality shine through your words. With a well-thought-out narrative essay , your essay can become a compelling part of your application, whether it’s a college essay, a middle school application essay, or a scholarship essay. Be honest, authentic, and let your unique story guide your writing.

4. High School Application Essay Template

Size: 65 KB

5. High School Academy Application Essay

Size: 136 KB

6. Sample High School Application Essay

Size: 775 KB

7. High School Admission Application Essay

Size: 94 KB

Tips on Writing a Good High School Essay

To all students wishing to write a good high school essay to wow the right people. I have some tips for you to use. These tips of course vary with people but these are the common ways to writing a good high school essay to amaze the right people as well as to get you accepted to the institution of your choice.  So without further ado, let’s get right to it.

• Think: It may sound cliché, but the best thing to do before writing a good high school essay is to think. Think of what you are planning on writing. Think of the topic and the subtopics you want to add in your essay.  Ask yourself what you wish to talk about. Make some notes in a different paper as a guide.
• Planning : After thinking about what you wish to write, plan on it. This is often taken for granted. But when you get to plan on what you wish to write, everything goes smoothly. Just a reminder though, an essay does not have to be very long since that would be a different literary piece.
• Short and Concise : As stated above, an essay does not have to be very long. Essays usually have one to three paragraphs long. Beyond that is usually unheard of, so make it short and concise as possible.
• Make some notes:  A reminder when writing a good essay is to always make some notes. Make a draft if you wish. This helps with how you construct your sentences and construct what you wish to write about.
• Review: after you write your essay, review. Check the necessary things like spelling, grammar, and sentence construction. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just as long as it follows the strict grammar guidelines.

How many sentences do I need to write to let it be considered an essay?

One to three paragraphs, with 5 to 8 sentences can already be considered an essay. The one thing you need to know is when writing an essay, all you need is one topic, and you talk about it.

What are the usual topics to write for a high school essay application?

The most common topic they often ask students to write is about career goals.

Is there a limit to how many words needed to write?

This may depend on the directions in the paper, but for a high school essay application it would range between 300 words to 1000 words.

Do I need to reach the word count for it to be considered a good essay?

It is not the word count that matters but what you have written. This is what counts.

What other types of essays are there?

There are a lot of types but the most common are career essays , narrative essays and argumentative essays

Writing an essay can be tiresome or difficult if you have no idea what to do or what to write. But with some examples shown above and some tips on writing them, it would be easier. Remembering how to write an essay and how to construct the right words would make a whole lot of difference. A few things to consider when writing, be creative but concise the same time.

Choose a topic you want to talk about and go from there. Do not make it too lengthy that you lose sight of what you really wish to convey. Lastly, you don’t need to reach the 1000 word word count, as long as you reach the minimum word count. For a high school student, that would be around 300 words. Now that you have some ideas on what to write and how to do it, I hope your next essay would be something to be proud of.

High School Application Essay Generator

Text prompt

• Instructive
• Professional

Write a High School Application Essay on why you want to attend this high school

Discuss your academic and extracurricular achievements in a High School Application Essay

Subscriber Only Resources

Access this article and hundreds more like it with a subscription to The New York TImes Upfront  magazine.

Article Options

Presentation View

Reading Level

Should A.I. Write Your College Essays?

Cartoon by Dave Granlund

College admissions officers—and high school students—wrestle with A.I.-generated college essays

Ritika Vakharia, a senior at the Gwinnett School of Mathematics, Science, and Technology in Georgia, says she tried asking ChatGPT to produce ideas for college admissions essays. But she found the responses too broad and impersonal, even after she gave it details about her extracurricular activities, such as teaching dance classes to younger students.

Instead, she worked to come up with a more personal college application essay theme.

“I feel a little more pressure to create, like, this super unique, interesting topic,” Vakharia says, “because a basic one these days could just be generated by ChatGPT.”

The easy availability of A.I. chatbots like ChatGPT, which can manufacture humanlike text in response to short prompts, is upending the undergraduate application process at selective colleges. It’s either ushering in an era of automated plagiarism or of democratized student access to essay-writing help. Or maybe both.

The disruption comes at a turning point for U.S. institutions of higher education. After the Supreme Court ruled last June that race-based university admissions programs were illegal, some institutions hoped to rely more on essay questions about applicants’ upbringing, identities, and communities to help foster diversity on campus.

“It makes me sad,” Lee Coffin, the dean of admissions at Dartmouth College, said in a podcast last year that touched on A.I.-generated application essays. “The idea that this central component of a story could be manufactured by someone other than the applicant is disheartening.”

Ritika Vakharia is a senior at the Gwinnett School of Mathematics, Science, and Technology in Georgia. She tried asking ChatGPT for ideas for her college admissions essays. She found the responses too broad and impersonal. She had even given it details about her extracurricular activities, including teaching dance classes to younger students.

So instead of using ChatGPT’s ideas, she decided to come up with a more personal essay theme.

A.I. chatbots like ChatGPT can manufacture humanlike text in response to short prompts. The availability of chatbots is changing the undergraduate application process at selective colleges. It’s either starting a time of automated plagiarism or of universal student access to essay-writing help. Or maybe both.

These technologies come at a turning point for U.S. institutions of higher education. The Supreme Court ruled last June that race-based university admissions programs were illegal. Some institutions hoped to rely more on essay questions about applicants’ upbringing, identities, and communities to help develop diversity on campus.

Alyssa Pointer/The New York Times

“I feel a little more pressure to create, like, this super unique, interesting topic because a basic one these days could just be generated by ChatGPT.” —Ritika Vakharia

New A.I. Tools

The personal essay has long been a staple of the application process at colleges. Admissions officers have often used applicants’ essays as a lens into their unique character, pluck, potential, and ability to handle adversity. As a result, some former students say they felt tremendous pressure to develop, or at least concoct, a singular personal writing voice.

But new A.I. tools now threaten to cast doubt on the legitimacy of applicants’ writing samples as authentic products of their intellect and creativity. That has forced colleges to rethink their admissions processes.

“Students on some level are going to have access to and use A.I.,” says Rick Clark, executive director of undergraduate admission at the Georgia Institute of Technology. “The big question is: How do we want to direct them, knowing that it’s out there and available to them?”

Some teachers are troubled by students using A.I. to write their college essays for deeper reasons: Outsourcing writing to bots could hinder students from developing important critical thinking and storytelling skills.

“Part of the process of the college essay is finding your writing voice through all of that drafting and revising,” says Susan Barber, an Advanced Placement English literature teacher at Midtown High School, a public school in Atlanta. “And I think that’s something that ChatGPT would be robbing them of.”

The personal essay has long been an important part of the application process at colleges. Admissions officers have used essays as a way to see into applicants’ unique character, potential, and ability to handle adversity. As a result, some former students say they felt tremendous pressure. They felt they had to develop, or at least concoct, a singular personal writing voice.

But new A.I. tools now threaten to cast doubt on the validity of applicants’ writing samples as real products of their intellect and creativity. Colleges are forced to rethink their admissions processes.

Some teachers are troubled by students using A.I. to write their college essays for deeper reasons. Using bots to write could keep students from developing important critical thinking and storytelling skills.

Kendrick Brinson/The New York Times

“Part of the process of the college essay is finding your writing voice . . . And I think that’s something that ChatGPT would be robbing them of.”  —Susan Barber, AP English literature Teacher in Atlanta

Last August, Barber asked her 12th-grade students to write college essays. Then she held class discussions about ChatGPT, cautioning students that using A.I. chatbots to generate ideas or writing could make their college essays sound too generic. She advised them to focus more on their personal views and voices.

Yet other educators say they hope the A.I. tools might have a democratizing effect. Wealthy high school students often have access to resources to help brainstorm, draft, and edit their college admissions essays. ChatGPT could play a similar role for students who lack such resources, especially those at large high schools where overworked college counselors have little time for individualized essay coaching.

“It’s free, it’s accessible, and it’s helpful,” says Clark. “It’s progress toward equity.”

At the same time, as colleges wrestle with just how to handle the explosion of literate A.I. bots, some students, like Kevin Jacob, a senior at the Gwinnett School, are unsure how to proceed.

“The vagueness and ambiguity,” Jacob says, “is kind of hard for us.”

Last August, Barber asked her 12th-grade students to write college essays. Then she held class discussions about ChatGPT. She warned students that using A.I. chatbots to generate ideas or writing could make their college essays sound too generic. She advised them to focus more on their personal views and voices.

Yet other educators say they hope the A.I. tools might have an equalizing effect. Wealthy high school students often have access to more resources. They get help to brainstorm, draft, and edit their college admissions essays. ChatGPT could play a similar role for students who lack such resources. It would especially help those at large high schools where overworked college counselors have little time for individualized essay coaching.

As colleges figure out how to handle the explosion of literate A.I. bots, some students, like Kevin Jacob, a senior at the Gwinnett School, are unsure how to proceed.

Natasha Singer writes about technology, business, and society for The New York Times .

Natasha Singer writes about technology, business, and society for  The   New York  Times .

Here’s How Ivy League Schools Evaluate Student GPAs

• Share to Facebook
• Share to Twitter
• Share to Linkedin

One of the main gates on the Brown University campus, decorated with the University crest. (Photo by ... [+] Rick Friedman/Corbis via Getty Images)

A stellar GPA is one of the building blocks of a successful Ivy League application, and as the school year winds down, many students are anxiously seeking to give theirs a final boost. While most students and families understand the importance of a 4.0, few are aware of how top colleges evaluate student GPAs or what they look for when reviewing student transcripts. Though your GPA may seem to be a simple metric, nothing could be further from the case—colleges consider more than just the number, accounting for complexities such as diverse grading systems across schools, trends in grade inflation, and level of course rigor.

Here are three important facts to keep in mind about your GPA as you choose your courses:

1. Your GPA doesn’t directly compare to that of students at other schools.

One common misconception among college applicants is that they can compare their GPAs with those of students attending different schools. However, the GPA is not a universal metric but rather a reflection of an individual's academic performance within their specific educational environment. As a result, comparing GPAs from different schools is like comparing apples and oranges. For instance, some schools offer a plethora of AP, IB, and honors courses, while others may have limited options or offer none at all. Additionally, the weight assigned to AP versus honors versus regular classes varies from school to school. So, your GPA may not hold the same weight as those of your peers at different schools, even if you all have 4.0s.

Admissions officers understand that schools vary in their rigor, curriculum, and grading policies. Therefore, they evaluate your GPA in the context of your high school, considering the courses offered and the academic challenges presented. Instead of fixating on how your GPA compares to your friends’ from other schools, focus on challenging yourself and taking advantage of all the opportunities available to you at your school.

2. GPAs across the country are inflated—and colleges know it.

The last few years have seen surges in high school student GPAs nationwide. While GPA inflation has been on the rise over the last decade, average ACT composite scores are steadily declining. “For the 1.4 million ACT test-takers in the high school class of 2023, the average composite score on the exam was 19.5 out of 36, the lowest score since 1991,” according to The New York Times . The parallel differences, coupled with academic differences across schools, suggest that GPA must be considered in tandem with multiple other factors. Simply put, an A no longer means what it used to on a transcript.

Drake-Kendrick Lamar Feud Timeline: Third Trespassing Incident In A Week Reported At Drake’s Toronto Home

Netflix marvel dud among movies new on streaming service this week, apple’s new chatgpt deal—here’s what it means for iphone security.

Ivy League and other top colleges are well aware of this trend and evaluate student GPAs alongside other metrics such as standardized test scores and AP exam scores in order to better understand a student’s academic skill sets. While some Ivy League and other top schools remain test-optional , they still place emphasis on course rigor and the context offered by your high school profile in order to understand the grades on your transcript.

3. Colleges will recalculate your GPA.

Given the abundance of variables in GPA calculations, colleges often recalculate the metric to create a standardized baseline for comparison between students across different schools. The recalibration may involve adjusting for variations in grading scales or the weighting of honors, International Baccalaureate (IB) or Advanced Placement (AP) courses. The University of California system, for example, calculates students’ UC GPAs by converting grades to grade points (an A is equivalent to 4 points, a B to three points, etc.) for classes taken between summer after 9th and summer after 11th grade, and adding one point for each honors class, and dividing by total classes taken to yield final GPA.*

Other colleges also take additional factors that impact academic performance into consideration, and envelop GPA into a broader, holistic consideration. For instance, the Harvard University lawsuit over affirmative action revealed that Harvard rates students on a scale of 1–6 (with one being the most desirable) in academic, extracurricular, athletic and personal categories. A student’s GPA and test scores are folded together into an academic score which “summarizes the applicant’s academic achievement and potential based on grades, testing results, letters of recommendation, academic prizes, and any submitted academic work.”

This process aims to provide a fair and equitable evaluation of students from different educational backgrounds. Keep in mind that Harvard considers not only your grades, test scores, and academic rigor in this score, but also “evidence of substantial scholarship” and “academic creativity,” which can make the difference between a 1 and a 2 in the scoring system. These systems underscore the importance of taking advantage of every opportunity, showcasing your unique personality and creativity, and seeking to maximize opportunities to improve your performance within the academic landscape of your institution.

By understanding the complex way by which colleges evaluate students’ GPAs, you are better equipped to present a comprehensive and competitive picture of your academic achievements on your transcript and stand out in the competitive Ivy League admissions landscape.

*Variations exist for in-state versus out-of-state students and by high school. Be sure to calculate your GPA following the UC issued guidelines.

• Editorial Standards
• Reprints & Permissions

Ask us anything

(about education).

OPINION Voices from the Idaho EdNews Community

You can’t claim to support education choice while limiting options

It’s a familiar refrain in the conversation over education reform, especially in the Mountain States. On the one hand, policymakers, activists, school leaders and even those running for office say they are in favor of education choice. On the other, they oppose expansion of education choice options.

It is true that existing options in Idaho currently include open enrollment public schools, charter schools, and magnet schools. But Idaho lags behind other states in providing additional choices including ideas such as Education Savings Accounts or tax credits that would help children advance education needs outside the government run system.

Idaho does well in allowing families the freedom to choose among charter schools and district schools, but could do much more to expand private education choice. Idaho respects the autonomy of homeschooling families. Idaho could improve its ranking by enacting a K–12 education savings account (ESA) policy and making it easier for charter schools to open and operate.

Chris Cargill

Republish this story on your website », get ednews in your inbox.

Weekly round up every Friday

Defying pandemic-era predictions, home schooling remains on the rise in Idaho and beyond

Analysis: a flood of third-party money flows through the 2024 legislative primaries, education committee chair defends record amid right-wing primary challenge, governor hands west ada $150 million for facilities, nampa rivals duel over education spending in repeat primary, boise’s school closure plan runs into parent outrage, “i can be mom and teacher:” schools tackle child care needs to keep staff in classrooms, photo essay: an elementary school’s onsite day care makes teachers feel “seen” and “respected”, senate education chair faces a republican primary rematch.

In Poll, Most MBA Candidates Say They Want To Use AI To Craft Essays, But They’re Wary Of The Tech

• Share on Facebook
• Share on Twitter
• Share on LinkedIn
• Share on WhatsApp
• Share on Reddit

In a new Kaplan/Manhattan Prep survey, a majority of MBA candidates said they would like to be able to use generative AI like ChatGPT to craft their admissions essays. iStockphoto

Warren Buffett is not a fan of AI — yet. The 93-year-old founder and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway told the company’s shareholders at their annual meeting May 4 that “we let a genie out of the bottle when we developed nuclear weapons” and “AI is somewhat similar — it’s partway out of the bottle.”

Though he acknowledged that the technology could change the world for the better, Buffett, the legendary investor known as the “Oracle of Omaha,” said he isn’t sold yet . “It has enormous potential for good and enormous potential for harm,” he said. “And I just don’t know how that plays out.”

Across industries, it’s playing out rapidly: According to the International Monetary Fund, nearly 40% of global employment could be disrupted by AI, from medicine to finance to music. Count graduate business education among the impacted sectors: AI is transforming how teachers teach and how students learn so quickly, business schools can hardly keep up.

MBA CANDIDATES WANT GUARDRAILS IN THE USE OF AI IN ADMISSIONS

Rochester Simon Dean Sevin Yeltekin: “Much like getting support from an admissions counselor, generative AI can be an effective resource for applicants”

Nor has MBA admissions evaded the transformative power of AI. The debate over whether to use ChatGPT or other generative AI programs to craft key parts of a candidate’s MBA application — particularly the essay — has raged since day one, when the tech’s viability first entered the public consciousness.

Prospective students, for their part, have been split on how to employ the technology — and that split continues, as evidenced by a new poll released today (May 8) by Kaplan , the global educational services company, and its sister company Manhattan Prep, a leading test prep provider. The survey of more than 300 aspiring MBA students finds mixed attitudes toward GenAI and its use in the admissions process, with 56% saying they should be allowed to use AI tools to help them write their admissions essays, but only with certain guidelines and restrictions; 20% saying they don’t think they should be allowed under any circumstances; 18% saying use should be unrestricted; and the remaining 7% unsure.

“Aspiring MBA students are going to have to take the GMAT exam without the use of GenAI,” says Stacey Koprince, director of content and curriculum for Manhattan Prep. “And they also built up their GPAs without using it either, considering how new the technology is, so it’s not surprising that many think it’s necessary for business schools to put guardrails around its use in the admissions process. At the same time, our results show that many are eager to use GenAI to their advantage if allowed.”

IF ALLOWED, 60% SAY THEY WILL USE AI IN THEIR ESSAYS

The Manhattan Prep/Kaplan survey was conducted online in March-April 2024 and included responses from 306 aspiring business school students across the United States. It complements a separate survey of business school admissions officers that found that only a handful of B-schools have policies in place directing students how they can use AI in their admissions essays, signaling the issue is still unsettled. The latter was conducted by phone and email with 75 business schools across the United States — among them are 8 of the top 50 schools, as ranked by U.S. News & World Report — between August 2023 and February 2024.

Prospective MBA students in the more recent survey are concerned not only with the broader question of AI use — they also don’t want their competitors to get an unfair advantage. Exactly half in the more recent survey of aspiring MBA students say AI unfairly levels the playing field for applicants who don’t possess strong writing skills; 32% don’t believe that to be the case; the remaining 18% are unsure.

But if it’s allowed, more say they will go for it: Of those surveyed, 60% said they would likely use AI in their admissions essays if the schools they were applying to allowed it; 24% said they were unlikely to use it; 16% said they were unsure.

‘MANY B-SCHOOLS WILL BE DEVELOPING GenAI POLICIES IN THE COMING YEAR’

The acceptability of AI increases the further one gets in the admissions process. Once applicants have proven their mettle and achieved admission, two-thirds (67%) say B-schools should allow them to use GenAI as part of their classwork/academic experience, with certain guidelines and restrictions. Another 20% believe enrolled students should be allowed to use GenAI with no restrictions at all. That’s nearly 90% who see AI use inside MBA programs as acceptable under certain conditions.

Another 8% said it shouldn’t be allowed under any circumstances; and the remaining 6% were unsure.

Asked how often they use AI in the workplace or in their personal lives, 8% said “always”; 25% said “frequently”; 38% said “occasionally”; 19% said “rarely”; and 10% said “never.”

Koprince says the days of uncertainty about schools’ policies are likely coming to a close.

“While results from Manhattan Prep and Kaplan’s most recent business school admissions officers survey show that most MBA programs have no policy at all when it comes to allowing applicants to use GenAI in admissions essays, we don’t believe that’s a tenable long-term position, as they will increasingly get questions from prospective students who want to know the boundaries of acceptable use,” Koprince says. “Our prediction: Many business schools will be developing GenAI policies in the coming year.”

REGARDLESS OF TOOLS, ‘SUBMISSIONS MUST BE AUTHENTIC’

B-schools continue to adapt to the AI gold rush. At the University of Rochester’s Simon Business School , Dean Sevin Yeltekin says the school is “leaning into generative AI by incorporating it into our course content and by launching a degree program in business analytics and applied AI and utilizing it in our school’s operations. We believe that combined with domain knowledge and used responsibly, generative AI can be a very effective productivity and learning tool.”

Simon’s approach to generative AI in the admissions process is similar, Yeltekin tells P&Q : “Much like getting support from an admissions counselor, generative AI can be an effective resource for applicants. Regardless of the tools or resources that an applicant uses, their submissions must be authentic in both tone and content. Simon admissions committee members are experienced readers and interviewers, trained to look for authenticity and screen for consistency in a candidate’s communication style and message.

“Our high-touch process that includes admission essays, interview feedback, and interactions with alumni and current students allows us to triangulate on the authentic applicant and holistically evaluate their background, behavioral skills and fit for the program.”

‘IT’S NOT ABOUT FILLING PAGES WITH WORDS’

Petia Whitmore , the founder of admissions consulting firm  My MBA Path and a former dean of MBA admissions at Babson College, writes in a commentary published May 7 by Poets&Quants that “No one should be surprised that if you simply ask ChatGPT to write a Harvard MBA essay, you will end up with a cliché overload.” She points to a sample AI essay published last spring in Poets&Quants :

“I am thrilled to submit my application for the Harvard Business School MBA program, and I appreciate the opportunity to elaborate on what I believe makes me a strong candidate for the program.

Throughout my academic and professional career, I have developed a passion for business and a desire to make a meaningful impact in the world through my work. My experiences have shaped my perspectives, and I believe they will allow me to bring a unique and valuable perspective to the classroom and beyond.”

The former managing director of The MBA Tour adds that as the technology evolves, more applicants will find ways to employ it successfully. But in the last application cycle, none of the candidates she worked with had any interest in using it.

“All but one of my MBA candidates this cycle were admitted to at least one of their top MBA choices (yes, even the ones who only applied to H/S/W….),” Whitmore writes. “Not a single one had to use ChatGPT to write their essays — or had any interest in even trying.

“Knowing what to write about can only come from two sources — knowing yourself well (self-reflection and self-awareness) and knowing your schools well.

“And when it comes to the actual writing: Remember, it’s not about filling pages with words.”

DON’T MISS HOW AMERICA’S BIGGEST COMPANIES HAVE CHANGED IN 30 YEARS and B-SCHOOLS & MBA CANDIDATES AGREE: RANKINGS STINK

Questions about this article? Email us or leave a comment below.

• Stay Informed. Sign Up! Login Logout Search for:

Positioning Extracurriculars On Your MBA Application

Endless MBA Options: Which Is Right For You?

How To Improve Your MBA Odds If You’re 30+

ADVICE COLUMN: How Do I Navigate The Waitlist?

• How To Use Poets&Quants MBA Admissions Consultant Directory
• How To Select An MBA Admissions Consultant
• MBA Admission Consulting Claims: How Credible?
• Suddenly Cozy: MBA Consultants and B-Schools
• The Cost: $6,850 Result: B-School

Our Partner Sites: Poets&Quants for Execs | Poets&Quants for Undergrads | Tipping the Scales | We See Genius