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What does PHD stand for?

Your abbreviation search returned 58 meanings

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FluentSlang

What Does Phd Mean In Slang & How To Use It

What does phd mean in text, tiktok and social platforms, pretty huge d*ck.

PHD is an abbreviation that stands for “Doctor of Philosophy” and is a postgraduate academic degree. It is not commonly used in text, chat, TikTok, or Snapchat, and it is not appropriate to use it to mean “Pretty Huge D*ck”. If someone uses the abbreviation in this way, it is best to ignore it or respond with something like, “I’m not sure what you’re trying to say, but PHD stands for Doctor of Philosophy, not that other thing.”

Here is an example conversation between two friends

Friend 1: Hey, did you see the new TikTok that Jake made? Friend 2: Yeah, it was pretty funny. He’s such a PHD. Friend 1: What do you mean by that? Friend 2: Oh, sorry. I meant he’s a Doctor of Philosophy. I must have been thinking about something else.

In this conversation, Friend 2 made a mistake by using the abbreviation PHD to mean something vulgar, but quickly corrected themselves.

What does Phd mean from a guy

PhD is a degree that is awarded to individuals who have completed advanced studies and research in a specific field. It stands for “Doctor of Philosophy” and is typically considered a high level of academic achievement. It is not appropriate to use the term “Pretty Huge Dick” in reference to a person’s PhD.

It is impossible for me to determine whether the person in question likes or hates you based on their use of the term PhD. Additionally, I cannot determine whether they are trying to make a move or not without further information. It is always best to communicate openly and directly with someone in order to understand their intentions and to avoid misunderstandings.

Girl: Hey, I noticed you have a PhD in physics. That’s really impressive! Guy: Thanks! I’ve been working on my research for a long time.

In this example, the girl is complimenting the guy on his academic achievement and the guy is responding modestly.

Girl: I’m thinking about applying to graduate school. What’s your advice for someone who wants to get a PhD? Guy: It’s a lot of hard work, but it’s also very rewarding. Just make sure you’re passionate about your research and you’ll be fine.

In this example, the girl is asking the guy for advice on pursuing a PhD and the guy is giving her some general advice.

What does Phd mean from a girl

PhD stands for “Doctor of Philosophy.” It is a postgraduate academic degree awarded by universities to students who have completed a course of study that typically lasts three to five years. This degree is typically earned in a specific field of study, such as physics, chemistry, or psychology. It is not a term that is used to refer to anything else.

In terms of responding to someone who uses “PhD” in a different context, such as in the phrase “Pretty Huge Dick,” it would be best to ignore the comment and not engage with it. It is not appropriate to use derogatory or offensive language, and doing so can make the person who used the term look foolish.

As for the examples of a conversation between a girl and a guy using “PhD” in different meanings, here are two possibilities

Girl: Hey, I just got accepted into a PhD program in biology! Guy: That’s awesome! Congratulations on your acceptance.

In this example, the girl is using “PhD” to refer to the postgraduate academic degree, while the guy is responding in a supportive and congratulatory manner.

Girl: I heard you have a PhD in physics. Guy: Yeah, that’s right. I just finished my dissertation last year.

In this example, the girl is using “PhD” to refer to the postgraduate academic degree, and the guy is confirming that he has earned this degree in the field of physics. He also mentions his dissertation, which is a long research paper that is required for the completion of a PhD program.

In both examples, “PhD” is being used in its correct and intended meaning, as a postgraduate academic degree. It is not being used in any derogatory or offensive way.

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PhD: so what does it really stand for?

Recently, during some particularly thorough literature research, I stumbled on a list of alternative interpretations of the acronym PhD. Most were funny: protein has degraded, parents have doubts. But one froze my face in a bittersweet grimace: paid half of what I deserve.

When I was still a rookie PhD student, I read with outrage an Economist article entitled the disposable academic , which argued that doing a PhD is mostly needless. Lately, I've come to think of the PhD as more of a heavily spicy meal. It doesn't matter how much you enjoy the process, once you're done, you still have half of the pain ahead.

The years of academic slog to work your way up to a full tenure slot (professorship? ha – dream on!) are not much different from the work of a PhD in terms of relentless benchwork (pipetting hand disease) and unceasing literature research (pound head on desk), served on a fixed menu with professional uncertainty (please hire: desperate). All of which result in, if not professorship, then potential heavy drinking.

PhD students and postdocs are the working class of academic research and paid accordingly. Although postgraduates are crucial to the generation, discussion and dissemination of knowledge, 50% pay (i.e half of what they deserve) is standard for PhDs in natural sciences and not even guaranteed in the arts and humanities. It's depressing to think that the overall salary of a PhD candidate is less than the cost of much lab equipment. Lab devices are meant to last years – but, hell, what about the work of PhD students in a system where knowledge is incremental?

There could be several reasons for this discrepancy. Equipment and consumables are costly and have a substantial impact on future budget setting. The number of PhDs, meanwhile, is inflated and international competition is fierce. PhD candidates are earning a degree, which shouldn't come for free, and demands motivation and not a little self-denial – including financially.

PhD candidates are at their infancy in science and being trained to do something different from their education to date – lessons in theory combined with practical labwork – as they move into more independent, innovative research. And contributing to the advancement of knowledge requires a certain naive idealism, right? But does this mean it's okay to exploit highly educated individuals ( probably heavily in debt )? No.

The possible solutions are simple. The most obvious is: raise the salary of PhD students. A remedy for the resulting scarcity of resources would be stricter selection so that only the best candidates started a PhD. Realistically though, this is never going to happen. It's not because policymakers are greedy but because it would mean a reduction of PhDs and thus a slowdown of science.

A second option wouldn't hinder research, and might even enhance it: cut the salary of professors by half. If there are solid reasons for PhDs being paid half of what they deserve, then the same hold good for professors. They too are doing something different from their previous jobs. After tenure, natural scientists move out of the lab and into an office from where they supervise the research of their team members. The knowledge acquired before (both theoretical and practical) still counts, but the job looks quite different.

Political and managerial skills are equally essential, and nurtured for the sake of tenure, not science. Top-tier staff write proposals, manage funds and coordinate subaltern research units and are sometimes scarcely involved with the generation, presentation and discussion of results which is the core purpose of science. Some department chairs merely take note of advancements generated from the institutes they preside over, but co-author papers nonetheless.

Wages of these academic administrators, then, don't deserve to sit even at 50%. And however grim this may sound to today's professors and those postdocs close to a permanent role, the benefits might appeal to future professors much more. Reduction in salaries for tenured staff will create new professorial appointments and reduce the imbalance between the number of temporary researchers and professors, while smaller research units will favour better supervision of PhD candidates and reduce fixed costs.

Today's professors probably already earn too little, after so many years of being underpaid. As one reader wrote in response to that Economist article: "The PhD student is someone who forgoes current income in order to forgo future income." But if some of the surplus resulting from a slash in professorial salaries flowed down to PhDs and postdocs, then entry level professors would be put in a better financial position.

In this light, cuts to science funding (like those we have seen recently in the US) could be an opportunity. Will they slow down scientific advancement? Most probably, yes. But here is a chance for the elite to rethink the way science is done and stop placing merit only on the levels of grant money they gain, the papers they publish, and the prestige they acquire, but instead taking a closer look at the predicament of those who prop this community up.

Advocates of competition see it as a positive outcome of the current shortage of funding and resources. But to defend job insecurity as the main incentive to scientific advancement is offensive. Science would benefit more from a harmonious coexistence of its members than by favouring ruthless competition.

Jorge Cham, creator of the wittily depressing PhD Comics series, revealed that a major motivation for his sketches was to give solace to fellow PhDs struggling as he did through their postgraduate years. He interprets the acronym as piled higher and deeper. You might think of the paper bulk on your desk, but I believe he had something else in mind.

PhD actually stands for philosophiae doctor , or doctor of philosophy. As we say in my native Italian: prendila con filosofia (take it easy, take it as it comes). And waiting for a change in the current system, or for a global PhD manifesto to emerge, one cannot take it any other way.

This blog was written by a current PhD student in Italy

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What is a phd.

A PhD is the highest postgraduate qualification level that can be awarded in academic study. This is usually completed over three to four years of full-time study, and involves research into an original contribution in your chosen field. 

PhD is an acronym that stands for Doctor of Philosophy. The name for PhD comes from the Latin term “Philosophiae Doctor”, which roughly translates to “Lover of wisdom”.

Whether you’re finishing up from an undergraduate degree, on a masters course or even just looking to get back into education, you’ll have seen people talking about getting a PhD .

Most people know vaguely what a PhD is – it’s a university course that means you can call yourself ‘Doctor’ without having to do medicine, right? Whilst that is surprisingly close to the truth, we’re here to answer the oft-asked question of ‘what is a PhD?’.

This guide covers everything you need to know about a PhD.

What does a PhD involve?

A PhD will typically take three years to complete. If taken part time, then it will be separated into three different stages:

Year 1: This will involve you speaking with your advisor about your research ideas, finishing your research proposal and beginning to put deadlines in place for your research. You’ll also complete your literature review in this stage. During this, you’ll review the existing research done on the topic that you’re planning to research to help you determine the gaps in the research that you can target

Year 2: During this stage, you’ll begin to conduct your research to gather data. You’ll document this whole process for your thesis and begin to attend conferences where you will have the opportunity to present your current research to other professionals and researchers in the field. You can take this further and take steps to educate the public on the benefits of your research.

Year 3: The final stage of a PhD involves using the data you’ve collected and the documentation of your research to write your thesis. You may still be conducting research at this point, and that’s OK. Once you’ve finished your thesis, you’ll justify your research and decisions in a viva .

How long is a PhD?

A typical PhD will take three to four years to complete when studying full time. Studying part time can take up to six years. The good news is that the thesis can be extended by up to four years. This means that if you haven’t gotten anywhere near finishing your research by the end of the second year, you can apply to extend your thesis and continue your research for up to four more years. Many PhD students will complete their thesis in the 4th year.

How is a PhD different from other degrees?

what does phd mean inappropriately

To start with, describing a PhD as a university course can be a bit misleading. Whilst it is a course offered by a university, it’s incredibly different to most courses. Unlike the undergraduate level, you won’t be covering your subject broadly you’ll be focused on one very particular area. Whilst a masters degree, especially a research one, may be focused, it won’t be nearly as focused as a PhD.

That said – don’t expect this focused level of research to necessarily be groundbreaking! Though part of doing a PhD is the intent to produce original research, it’s also primarily there to train your research skills and to prove yourself as a capable researcher.

A PhD is research focused

One of the main differences between PhDs and other types of postgraduate degree is that PhDs are heavily research based. PhDs involve a lot of independent research time, where you'll study your topic in detail using academic resources – such as the university's online library and online materials. This format is different to taught postgraduate degrees, which involve a lot more taught aspects such as lectures and seminars.

Do you need a masters to study a PhD?

In order to study a PhD, you’ll need to have a masters degree and a bachelors degree with a 2:1 or higher. Though self-funded students and students with professional experience in the field may be admitted with lower grades

Some students may begin with a MPhil (Masters of philosophy) or a Mres ( Master of research) and upgrade to a PhD by the end of their studies.

Where can I study a PhD?

Most universities offer PhD programs across a variety of disciplines. It is possible to study a PhD at almost any university and in almost any subject. Since a PhD is an independent research-based program, there is a lot of flexibility in regard to what you’ll study. 

PhD students often choose their own study topics and carry out independent research into that topic. This makes it possible to study your intended PhD at almost any university. 

Although, it is important to check which specific subject areas the university specialises in. For instance, if a university specialises in linguistics, then it would be a good idea to complete a linguistics PhD at that university as opposed to one that specialises in another subject.

It can be difficult to find the perfect course at the right university. That’s why we’ve put together advice on how to find a PhD .

It’s important to remember that a PhD is different from a typical university course. Rather than going to lectures, you’ll be conducting independent research, and so the application process will be quite different. Learn how to apply for a PhD  with our expert guide.

A PhD means attending ‘optional’ lectures and conferences

PhDs do involve some aspects of taught study, including lectures and conferences, although these are often optional and take place less often than on lower level courses.

Now of course, the university doesn’t just accept you, your project and tell you to have fun. You’ll work with a supervisor, and there will be conferences, lectures, and other such things that you can attend. Unlike lower level courses, however, although you won’t necessarily be examined on these things that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go! Conferences are a great way to meet people, get your name out and network . For any career, but especially one in academia, networking is well worth it.

A PhD is a high standard qualification

But what does having a PhD show, other than the fact you spent three to four years working on research and can now call yourself Dr [Your surname here]? 

A PhD is a globally recognised, high standard qualification. This means that if you choose to move elsewhere in the world, your PhD will be recognised as a credible postgraduate qualification.

In addition, a PhD can open up a whole world of new job opportunities! This includes academic roles , such as postdoctoral research posts, or even possibly fellowships. 

Regardless of which career path you choose to take, a PhD is regarded as the highest level postgraduate qualification – reflecting your impressive work ethic, knowledge, and workplace skills.

How to get a PhD

Getting a PhD is not easy by any means. But, if it’s something you truly want to do, it’s well worth it. So let’s take a look at just how to get a PhD!

Choose your research area

Before getting started with your PhD, you want to make sure you know what area you’d like to do it in. Don’t just pick something on a whim – this is something you’re going to be studying for the next four years of your life, and something that, once you finished your PhD, you’ll have your name attached to. So, for arts and humanities students, find an area of your subject that fascinates you enough that you’ll want to spend the next few years writing about it. For scientists, find an area you’d be happy to be working on in a team, and wouldn’t mind moving into as a career!

Find a good supervisor

Once you’ve selected your topic, it’s time to start looking for a supervisor . Depending on what you’re currently doing, asking tutors for contacts or recommendations can be well worthwhile, but if you can’t do this, check out what research your potential supervisor has done. 

In addition, try and arrange an in-person meeting – or at least, a phone conversation. Email can make communication difficult and given this is the person you’ll be working under for the foreseeable future, you want to ensure you get on.

Then, assuming you’re accepted and have appropriate funding, you’ll be considered a probationary PhD student . At the end of your first year, you’ll be expected to prove you’re capable of the full course, so you’ll be tested in the form of writing a report. Once you pass this, you’re good to go!

Your next few years will be spent attending conferences, working on the research and your thesis. Your thesis will talk about what you’ve spent your time doing, how you dealt with any difficulties that arose, and generally show what your contribution to your subject is! Once that’s out the way, you get the fun job of having a viva – that is, talking about your thesis to a bunch of academics.

Pass the viva? Then you’ve succeeded.

So that’s how to get a PhD!

UK Research Councils

There are a selection of UK Research Councils, each of whom are part of the  UK Research and Innovation (UKRI) organisation. Collectively, these UK research councils provide an average of £380 million in PhD studentship funding every year – acting as the largest PhD funding body in the UK. 

Here’s an overview of UK research councils:

  • Science and Technology Facilities Council
  • Arts and Humanities Research Council  
  • Biotechnology and Biological Sciences Research Council
  • Engineering and Physical Sciences Research Council
  • Economic and Social Research Council
  • Medical Research Council
  • Natural Environment Research Council  

Related articles

Dos And Don'ts Of A PhD Interview

Are You Ready For A PhD?

How To Get The Most From Your PhD Supervisor

Common PhD Myths

Alphabet Of PhD Study

What Is A Postgraduate Degree? A Definition

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what does phd mean inappropriately

PHD Meaning: Here’s What It Means and How to Use It?

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You’ve likely seen the abbreviation PHD — but what is the meaning of PHD? We’ll tell you. Read on as we explore this common acronym.

what does phd mean inappropriately

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There are several ways to abbreviate words in the English language — hence why there are so many acronyms and abbreviations found in the dictionary today. 

While some terms are pretty self-explanatory, like “Feb,” which stands for “February,” there are some acronyms that could use a bit of explaining — such as Ph.D.

Although Ph.D is an abbreviation with more than one meaning, it commonly refers to a Doctor of Philosophy (Ph.D): spelled with a capitalized “P,” lowercase “h,” and uppercase “D.”  

Interested in learning more? We can help. Read on as we explore the abbreviation Ph.D to uncover its meaning, origin, and more. Are you ready? Let’s dive in.

what does phd mean inappropriately

What Does PhD Mean?

Ph.D — aka Doctor of Philosophy — is defined by Dictionary.com as the highest degree awarded by a school in a field of academic study. A doctorate is typically awarded to an individual who has completed three or more years of graduate study and a dissertation approved by a committee of professors. 

Common abbreviations used for the doctor of philosophy include: 

  • Ph.D. 

After completing the Ph.D degree or dissertation, a graduate can use Dr. or Ph.D. For example:

  • Dr. Suzie Johnson or
  • Suzie Johnson (Ph.D) or
  • Dr. Suzie Johnson (Ph.D) 

What Is the Origin of Ph.D?

Abbreviated from the Latin term philosophiae doctor meaning “doctor of philosophy,” the Ph.D is the highest degree in most fields, with the notable exceptions of medicine and law that have their own doctorates. The degree originated in 19th century Germany when the word “philosophy” had the much broader meaning of “love of wisdom.”

Though universities have existed in Europe long before the 19th century, the degrees that medieval universities awarded to students had more in common with the MD than with the Ph.D, as they required mastery of already existing knowledge. 

In 1861, Yale University became the first institution of higher education in the United States to award the degree, conferring it on three recipients; Arthur W, Wright, James M. Whiton, and Eugene Schuyler. A few decades later, Canada accepted Ph.D as their highest level of honor, and in 1917, the doctoral of philosophy was introduced in all disciplines of the subjects.  

How Can I Use Ph.D in a Sentence?

Now that you understand what Ph.D means, let’s take a look at some examples of this acronym in a sentence:

“After telling him I earned an academic degree, he bragged for the rest of the night about having a Ph.D .”

“I can’t decide what academic field to get my Ph.D in.”

“Tom can’t work full-time because he is a Ph.D student and has to work on his thesis.”

“My mom is thinking about going back to school to complete a Ph.D program in psychology.”

“I am in the second year of my Ph.D program.”

“Whether you like physics, chemistry, or psychology, you can find a Ph.D program on campus,”

“Look, I understand that you’re my supervisor, but I am looking to get my Ph.D degree and ultimately become a doctor of medicine; in other words, I have to study and can’t pick up more than one shift per week.” 

“Have you taken the exams yet to get your Ph.D ?”

“Did you know that some Ph.D programs accept a portfolio of published papers?”

“To get a Ph.D , it’s important to study hard and get good grades.”

“Gosh, I didn’t realize how many seminars and workshops I’d have to attend to get a Ph.D !”

“A Ph.D comes with a pretty hefty fee, so be sure to apply for scholarships.”

What Is a Doctorate?

Simply put, a doctorate is any qualification that awards a doctoral degree. To qualify for one, you need to produce work at a high level that makes a significant new contribution to knowledge in your academic field. Doing so earns you the title “Doctor.”

Many people believe a doctorate and a Ph.D are the same. However, this is not the case, as a Ph.D is a type of doctorate, such as a Doctor of Philosophy. Other doctoral degrees or types of doctorate include:

  • Doctor of Education
  • Doctor of Theology
  • Doctor of Medicine
  • Doctor of Musical Arts
  • Doctor of Literature
  • Doctor of Divinity
  • Doctor of Civil Law
  • Doctor of Science

According to the American Psychological Association, the Ph.D is intended for students interested in gaining new knowledge through scientific research, or teaching experience. 

Does PHD Stand For Anything Else?

Although the abbreviation PHD is most commonly associated with the Doctorate of Philosophy, it does have a few other meanings:

  • Pizza Hut Delivery
  • Press Here, Dummy
  • Permanent Head Damage
  • Pretty Heavy Drinker
  • Please Hire Desperate
  • Preparing His Disciples
  • Player Hating Degree
  • Power Hungry Dog
  • Premium Hot Dog
  • Pretty Heavy Dude
  • Poor, Hungry, and Determined

A Final Word

So, what does PHD mean, you ask?

Simply put, PHD is an abbreviation that stands for many words; however, it’s most commonly used to abbreviate “Doctor of Philosophy.”

We hope this guide has provided you with all of the information you need to understand the meaning of PHD fully. To discover more interesting words and strengthen your overall vocabulary, be sure to check out our website , where you’ll find definitions, grammar tips, and more!  

  • A Brief History of the PhD | NeuWrite West 
  • Ph.d. Definition & Meaning | Dictionary.com
  • The First American Doctor of Philosophy Degree: A Centennial Salute to Yale, 1861-1961 | The Journal of Higher Education

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Kevin Miller is a growth marketer with an extensive background in Search Engine Optimization, paid acquisition and email marketing. He is also an online editor and writer based out of Los Angeles, CA. He studied at Georgetown University, worked at Google and became infatuated with English Grammar and for years has been diving into the language, demystifying the do's and don'ts for all who share the same passion! He can be found online here.

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the highest degree, a doctorate, awarded by a graduate school in a field of academic study, usually to a person who has completed at least three years of graduate study and a dissertation approved by a committee of professors.

a person who has been awarded this degree.

Origin of Ph.D.

  • Also called Doctor of Philosophy [ dok -ter uh v fi- los - uh -fee] /ˈdɒk tər əv fɪˈlɒs ə fi/ .

Dictionary.com Unabridged Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2024

How to use Ph.D. in a sentence

He also bragged about earning a PhD, a point Smerconish did not question.

Even his nametag played up his dweeby nature, labeling him “Mr. Gruber, PhD.”

Throughout her life, she faced public ridicule, legal persecution and, eventually, redemption through a PhD in clinical sexology.

“It is impossible by elections to choose normal people,” argues Yoram Gat, an Israeli software engineer with a PhD in statistics.

The son of Taiwanese immigrants, he grew up in California and earned his PhD in neuroscience at Stanford.

Damn few of them got it from me, I'm happy to say, and those that did, knew more about the subject than most PhD's.

It was a great diversion from the late nights working on my PhD.

British Dictionary definitions for PhD

Doctor of Philosophy : Also: DPhil

Collins English Dictionary - Complete & Unabridged 2012 Digital Edition © William Collins Sons & Co. Ltd. 1979, 1986 © HarperCollins Publishers 1998, 2000, 2003, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2012

Cambridge Dictionary

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Meaning of inappropriate in English

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  • be in bad, poor, the worst possible, etc. taste idiom
  • beneath your dignity idiom
  • beyond the pale idiom
  • incorrectly
  • ineligibility
  • infelicitous
  • raffishness
  • unsupportable
  • unwarrantable

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Inappropriate | american dictionary.

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inappropriate | Business English

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what does phd mean inappropriately

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Synonyms of inappropriately

  • as in incorrectly
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Thesaurus Definition of inappropriately

Synonyms & Similar Words

  • incorrectly
  • erroneously
  • inaccurately
  • inadequately
  • insufficiently
  • imperfectly
  • misguidedly
  • irrelevantly
  • pointlessly
  • senselessly
  • extraneously
  • meaninglessly
  • unsatisfactorily
  • undesirably

Antonyms & Near Antonyms

  • appropriately
  • meaningfully
  • sufficiently
  • satisfactorily
  • pertinently

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inappropriateness

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“Inappropriately.” Merriam-Webster.com Thesaurus , Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/inappropriately. Accessed 27 Feb. 2024.

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PhD Jokes And Puns

These funny PhD jokes and puns are a real lesson in humor! In fact, they’re in a class of their own! No need to doctor them, they get top marks just as they are!

Funny PhD Jokes

My socially anxious friend just got a PhD in palindrome studies.

I call him Dr. Awkward.

What is Dr. Pepper’s PhD in?

I have finished writing my PhD thesis on penguins.

In hindsight, I probably should have written it on paper.

I got a PhD in rap and washing clothes.

They call me Dr. LaunDré.

What do you call an owl with a PhD?

I have a friend who just finished her PhD in Botany.

Instead of math and statistics, her dissertation is full of pictures of exotic plants.

She sure has a lot of photos in thesis.

A Gen Z kid and a boomer walk into a bar.

They sit down and the Gen Z kid orders from the gluten free vegan menu and the boomer orders a T-Bone steak.

They start chatting and the Gen Z kid says that social justice issues are the biggest problem facing the world, and that the white supremacist patriarchy is a plague on society.

The boomer waves this off and says the kids these days are just too sensitive, and that he fought for civil rights in the sixties and did his part.

They go back and forth on this for a while, and finally the Gen Z kid says, “We’re just not gonna settle this. We don’t see eye to eye. You’re too old and out of touch and I’m too young and inexperienced. What we need to do is ask a Millennial with a PhD in sociology for their opinion.”

The boomer says, “That’s a great idea!” And yells, “HEY BARTENDER, C’MERE!”

Flight attendant: Do we have a doctor on board?

Me: I have a PhD in mathematics.

Flight attendant: one passenger is having a heart attack and one passenger is having an asthma attack.

Me: nodding that makes two.

I have a PhD in procrastin …

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer.

“I just completed my PhD in Scottish poetry,” he tells the bartender. “Now I’ve got third degree Burns.”

What do you call a cat with a PhD in Marine Biology?

A Doctopuss.

What do you call a chili with a PhD?

Dr. Pepper.

Who is the only Looney Tunes character with a doctorate?

MIT’s Computer Science PhD application only accepts text files.

That’s really ASCII a lot, in my opinion.

My PhD was about torque.

I guess that makes me a spin doctor.

I have a friend who a PhD in interactions of matter and energy at all length and time scales in the physical universe.

The only job he could get was at a soda factory.

In a roundabout way, he did become a fizzicist.

Dad: “My first son has a PhD in arts, my daughter has two degrees in communication and journalism and my youngest son is a burglar.”

Friend: “Wow a burglar? You should kick him out!”

Dad: “Nah… he is the only one who makes money.”

A man walks into a bar and finds its patrons raucously celebrating with a young man standing on the bar shouting for more drinks, on him.

He walks up to the bar and shouts to the young man, “What’s the occasion?”

“My career’s in ruins!” the lad cackles.

The man, shocked, replies, “Then why are you celebrating?”

“I’ve just completed my PhD in archaeology!”

What’s the difference between a jungle cat who wrote his PhD thesis on the economic effects of taxation, and the order of insects that includes butterflies and moths?

One’s a leopard doctor of tax economy, the other’s a lepidopteral taxonomy.

So, I have this friend who studied to become an Egyptologist.

The only way he can make a living is by becoming a PhD and teach others to become Egyptologists.

As far as I’m concerned, it is a pyramid scheme.

A rabbit says to a fox, “I’m writing a dissertation on how rabbits eat foxes.”

“Come on, you know that’s impossible! No one will publish such rubbish.” says the fox.

“Well, follow me and I’ll show you.”

They both go into the rabbit’s dwelling and after a while, the rabbit emerges with a satisfied expression on his face.

Then comes a wolf.

“Hello, what are we doing these days?”

“I’m writing the second chapter of my thesis, on how rabbits devour wolves.”

“Are you crazy? Where is your academic honesty?”

“Come with me and I’ll show you.”

As before, the rabbit comes out with a satisfied look on his face and a diploma in his paw.

Finally, the camera pans into the rabbit’s cave and we see a mean-looking, huge lion, sitting, picking his teeth and belching, next to some furry, bloody remnants of the wolf and the fox.

The moral: It’s not the contents of your thesis that are important – it’s your PhD advisor that really counts.

I’ve been doing my psychology PhD thesis on the mental health and well-being of little people.

After 4 long years and multiple studies, I’ve concluded…

6 out of 7 dwarves aren’t Happy.

What do you call someone who does a BA in Arts, a MA in English and a PhD in Gender Studies?

A well educated Barista.

To the woman I met in the bar last night who was mad at me this morning…

I never said I had a PhD in theoretical physics. I said I had a theoretical PhD in physics.

What does PhD stand for?

Fancy Degree. It’s so fancy it’s spelled with a Ph.

After many years of studying at a university, I’ve finally become a PhD.

Or Pizza Hut Deliveryman as people call it.

Due to the size of my student loans for my PhD I have debts no honest man could pay.

Luckily I’m a statistician.

What’s the difference between a PhD in mathematics and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four.

My PhD student claimed to have made a breakthrough in hyperbolic geometry.

Turns out he was just exaggerating.

I’m starting a charity for PhD students so they can finally afford to live on their own without the need for roommates.

It’s called “Doctors without Boarders.”

An illiterate dad and his son who has a PhD in astronomy went camping.

They unpacked and set up their tent.

After dinner they went to sleep.

A few hours later dad woke and was looking up at the stars.

He woke his son up and asked him, “What do you see?”

The son said, “Astronomically, it tells you that there are a lot of galaxies out there.”

His father interrupted, “No you idiot, someone stole the tent.”

What do call a fish with a PhD?

A brain sturgeon.

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Jokes About PhDs

If you liked these hilarious pun and jokes about PhDs, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these:

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NEWS... BUT NOT AS YOU KNOW IT

Sex slang glossary: 20 naughty terms from rail to Netflix and Chill

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Sex slang glossary: XX naughty terms from rail to Netflix and Chill

To quote Salt-N-Pepa, let’s talk about sex , baby. Or, rather, let’s talk about how we talk about sex.

Whether it’s a euphemism used to shy away from talking about a topic that’s too taboo from some, or the complete opposite and a visceral, visual slang term that penetrates the mind, we’ve invented a lot of ways to start discourse around intercourse.   

There’s a popular tidbit about the Inuit people having over 50 words for snow, but we might have them beat for the different terms for sex.

Here, we take a look at some of the favourite phrases used to discuss doing the deed…

What does getting railed mean?

Let’s start off with one of the more uncouth phrases – since Google search results indicate a lot of people are curious as to what this particular saying means.

Getting railed, quite literally, means having sex – or, if you prefer to take the cue from Urban Dictionary, it means the act of having wild, wild sex.

Feet of couple in bed

So, making romantic, meaningful love, this is not.

Netflix and Chill

Netflix and chill has become the most common mating call for a modern day audience.

To Netflix and Chill implies putting on Netflix as background noise – or a convincing alibi – as you and your partner(s) engage in a bit of consensual fun.

Some of these terms get their names from the implication that a penis is involved in the act.

Lesbian couple

Boning is such a term – entering the lexicon most likely as an after-effect to boner becoming a popular term for an erect penis.

D***ing down

If you have been d***ed down, you have had vigorous sex – this one is fairly self-explanatory.

Clapping cheeks

Getting one’s cheeks clapped is a newer term which is rising in popularity.

The name comes from the idea that, when you are in the throes of very intense sex, bum cheeks could make a clapping sound.

Porking is another term people use forhaving sex.

why did they call it group sex and not parallel porking — tyron, the creator (@TyronWilson) June 29, 2018

We wouldn’t suggest Googling the term, but there are some who think the term came about because squealing, the sound associated with pigs, is sometimes the sign that sexual partners are having a good time.

Couple watching television together and eating popcorn

The origins of this term should be fairly obvious for anyone with, or who has sex with people with, a penis, sometimes colloquially called a shaft.

Nothing to do with the crime fighting cop.

This is a term most often associated with sexual acts between people who identify as men.

Breeding, or to be bred, generally means having unprotected anal sex.

There are too many to name, but other phrases for having sex that deserve a shoutout include:

  • Laying pipe
  • Taking the skin boat to tuna town
  • Getting drilled
  • Nutting/Busting a nut

Euphemisms for having sex   

In Human Nature, Queen of Pop and queen of never shying away from the subject, Madonna proclaimed ‘oops, I didn’t know I couldn’t talk about sex’ – and she was on to something.

Some people are more comfortable using gentler language to avoid any blushes.

Some euphemisms that actually mean having sex include:

  • Making love
  • Knocking boots
  • Hitting the sheets
  • Going all the way
  • Getting lucky

MORE : Woman reveals how to have an orgasm by rubbing your lower back

MORE : Mindful sex could give your sex life the boost you’ve been looking for

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Share your views in the comments below.

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COMMENTS

  1. PHD

    PHD - Slang/Internet Slang What does PHD stand for? Your abbreviation search returned 58 meanings showing only Slang/Internet Slang definitions ( Show all) Link/Page Citation Category Filters Information Technology (6) Military & Government (7) Organizations, Schools, etc. (7) Business & Finance (15) Sort results: alphabetical | rank ?

  2. What Does Phd Mean In Slang & How To Use It

    PHD is an abbreviation that stands for "Doctor of Philosophy" and is a postgraduate academic degree. It is not commonly used in text, chat, TikTok, or Snapchat, and it is not appropriate to use it to mean "Pretty Huge D*ck".

  3. What does PhD stand for? : r/PhD

    BS: Bull shit MS: More shit. PhD: Piled higher and deeper. Apparently it stands for Doctorate of Philosophy, but more like Please Help, Death. Pretty Hard Degree. I've heard people in industry call them PhDuhs.

  4. PHD Slang Abbreviation Meaning

    Related acronyms and abbreviations Share PHD Slang Abbreviation page Slang PHD abbreviation meaning defined here. What does PHD stand for in Slang? Get the top PHD abbreviation related to Slang.

  5. "M.D." vs. "Ph.D." vs. "Dr.": Are They Synonyms?

    M.D., which can be used with or without the periods (M.D. or MD) is the designation for a medical doctor. This is earned by attending medical school (typically a four-year program after completing at least one undergraduate degree, plus a residency program), and learning to diagnose patients' symptoms and offer treatment.

  6. What Does 'PhD' Stand For?

    PhD stands for "Doctor of Philosophy," which refers to the immense knowledge a student gains when earning the degree. While you can actually get a PhD in philosophy, "Doctor of Philosophy" doesn't always refer to someone who has a terminal degree in that discipline.

  7. The misuse of PhD(c)

    The PhD (c)—also sometimes written as PhD-c or PhDc—has been popping up more often over the last several years in curricula vitae and email signatures. The designation is meant to indicate that the person has completed all of his or her requirements for a PhD except for the dissertation—akin to "ABD" (all but dissertation) that many also use.

  8. PhD: so what does it really stand for?

    Fri 30 Aug 2013 05.00 EDT Recently, during some particularly thorough literature research, I stumbled on a list of alternative interpretations of the acronym PhD. Most were funny: protein has...

  9. What is a PhD?

    What is a PhD? A PhD is the highest postgraduate qualification level that can be awarded in academic study. This is usually completed over three to four years of full-time study, and involves research into an original contribution in your chosen field. PhD is an acronym that stands for Doctor of Philosophy. The name for PhD comes from the Latin ...

  10. Doctor of Philosophy

    A Doctor of Philosophy ( PhD, Ph.D., or DPhil; Latin: philosophiae doctor or doctor philosophiae) is the most common degree at the highest academic level, awarded following a course of study and research.

  11. Inappropriate Definition & Meaning

    in· ap· pro· pri· ate ˌi-nə-ˈprō-prē-ət Synonyms of inappropriate : not appropriate : unsuitable inappropriate behavior The movie's subject matter is inappropriate for small children. inappropriately adverb dressed inappropriately inappropriateness noun the inappropriateness of his comments Synonyms amiss graceless improper inapposite inapt

  12. What is PhD? And what it's like to be PhD student? : r/PhD

    If you have a PhD, you are expected to do work for the university and publish, not to mention committee work, administrative work, pursue grants and funding, and be involved in various professional associations and pursue personal or university projects. Teaching can at times be less than 50% part of your job. 2.

  13. What Does PHD Mean?

    Ph.D — aka Doctor of Philosophy — is defined by Dictionary.com as the highest degree awarded by a school in a field of academic study. A doctorate is typically awarded to an individual who has completed three or more years of graduate study and a dissertation approved by a committee of professors.

  14. What is a PhD?

    PhD is an abbreviation of the Latin term (Ph)ilosophiae (D)octor. Traditionally the term 'philosophy' does not refer to the subject but its original Greek meaning which roughly translates to 'lover of wisdom'. What is a doctorate? A doctorate is any qualification that awards a doctoral degree.

  15. PhD vs Doctorate: What's the Difference?

    According to the American Psychological Association, the PhD is "intended for students interested in generating new knowledge through scientific research (i.e., setting up experiments, collecting data, applying statistical and analytical techniques) and/or gaining teaching experience." What Does a PhD Student Study?

  16. PhD Definition & Meaning

    ˌpē-ˌāch-ˈdē variants or Ph.D. plural PhDs or Ph.D.s : the academic degree, title, or rank of doctor of philosophy He was awarded a PhD in economics. Jane Smith, Ph.D. also : a person who has earned the academic degree of doctor of philosophy

  17. PH.D. Definition & Usage Examples

    Ph.D. definition: . See examples of PH.D. used in a sentence.

  18. The Definition of a PhD

    In British universities Doctor of Philosophy degree is a comparatively recent concept - an early twentieth-century import from the United States. Some universities abbreviate the title to DPhil (e.g., Oxford, Sussex, York) but most use the designation PhD. Whatever the abbreviation, the degree is the same.

  19. INAPPROPRIATELY

    INAPPROPRIATELY definition: 1. in a way that is unsuitable, or wrong in a particular situation: 2. in a way that is…. Learn more.

  20. INAPPROPRIATE

    INAPPROPRIATE definition: 1. unsuitable: 2. unsuitable: 3. unsuitable, esp. for the particular time, place, or situation: . Learn more.

  21. INAPPROPRIATELY Synonyms: 47 Similar and Opposite Words

    Synonyms for INAPPROPRIATELY: incorrectly, mistakenly, erroneously, inaccurately, improperly, wrongly, unsuitably, faultily; Antonyms of INAPPROPRIATELY ...

  22. 30+ Hilarious PhD Jokes And Puns!

    December 18, 2023 by admin These funny PhD jokes and puns are a real lesson in humor! In fact, they're in a class of their own! No need to doctor them, they get top marks just as they are! Funny PhD Jokes My socially anxious friend just got a PhD in palindrome studies. I call him Dr. Awkward. What is Dr. Pepper's PhD in? Fizz-ics.

  23. Sex slang glossary: 20 naughty terms from rail to Netflix and Chill

    Some euphemisms that actually mean having sex include: Making love. Knocking boots. Hitting the sheets. Going all the way. Getting lucky. MORE : Woman reveals how to have an orgasm by rubbing your ...

  24. Ella Chioma Ezeadilieje, PhD |Story Teller |Brand ...

    723 likes, 143 comments - veronicasdaughter on February 23, 2024: "Abeg, who else understands what I mean or the pain I'm feeling?? For married people, there is th..." Ella Chioma Ezeadilieje, PhD |Story Teller |Brand Influencer on Instagram: "Abeg, who else understands what I mean or the pain I'm feeling??