How to Answer the Essay Prompt "Describe a Challenge You Overcame"
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Late fall is officially college admissions season! Some students have already sent in their early decision applications and are working hard on those regular decision deadlines, which means it may be time to work on your essays.
These essays from the Common App , Coalition App , or your prospective school’s specific format can vary in topic, and you may get to choose what you write about. But no matter the school or set of schools to which you’re applying, you will likely come across a version of the “Describe a Challenge You Overcame” or “Overcoming a Challenge” essay prompt.
For some people, the answer to this could be evident. But if you have no idea what to write about, the first rule is:
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Don’t panic
So many students are plagued with questions like: What if I’ve never overcome an obstacle? Is my life boring? What if I have nothing to write about, and the admissions officers hate me? What if they judge me for what I've been through?
Deep breath.
All of these fears are normal, but everyone has overcome some sort of challenge or obstacle, whether small or completely overwhelming. By being authentic to yourself, yours will be compelling to readers and help them get to know the kind of student you are now and will be at their college or university.
You will need more than panicking to help you write an essay. Remember that everyone has something valuable to say, and the obstacle you choose will matter less than your ability to write about it and highlight your resilience.
Brainstorm an authentic but impactful challenge
The first thing you'll need to do is think through some challenges you’ve faced .
A challenge can be as seemingly simple as learning to trust yourself after a failure in school or an extracurricular activity or as complicated as overcoming significant discrimination and prejudice.
You had to overcome a specific fear to succeed at an activity you love. You may have had to rebuild your life after losing a relative. Maybe your family moved, which shook up your life. Or, receiving one terrible grade or criticism led you to change your outlook on life and motivated you to work harder than ever.
Whatever the obstacle you face (no inventing, please), it should be impactful.
That means thinking of a challenge that changed something about you. As a result of overcoming this obstacle, you should have learned significant lessons about yourself or the world around you and made changes in your life.
Colleges and universities want to know what traits you possess that will help you succeed in college and your future career, so the obstacle you choose to share should have helped you develop one of your defining traits. They will care more about your reaction to this challenge, how it shaped you, and how you articulate it than what the problem was in the first place.
Generally, the obstacle you choose to share should also be pretty recent or have had a current impact on your life, rather than a challenge that happened when you were very young that doesn’t impact you today.
Begin at the end
The opening sentence of your essay about overcoming a challenge should be compelling and make the reader want to continue. It can be tempting to tell the story chronologically, but it can sometimes be adequate to start with the ending or a positive memory.
So, think about when you overcame your challenge or realized that you had improved after facing an obstacle. You might even share a moment when you realized your chosen barrier significantly. Recount this moment as your introductory hook in some way.
You can even preview the lessons you learned in your introduction. That way, readers already know that you will share what you’ve learned rather than just share a story recounting a terrible moment or difficult challenge in your life. This can also make them want to keep reading to see how you got to that place.
Share context about the situation but make it brief
You want the reader to learn about you and your challenges rather than overdoing it in detail. They don't need to know every step of the process or every player in the story.
Of course, you should share the context behind what happened to you that challenged you and changed your life or perspective, but you should not dwell too much on the details. Provide only the ‘need to know’ moments and how they led to changes in your life.
With this kind of essay, readers want to know less about what happened and more about what you learned due to your experience.
Focus on what you learned
Your reflection about what you learned due to your experience should be your primary focus within your essay. This section will help readers understand how you’ve changed after facing your challenge or obstacle to become the stellar student you are today. It can also show the maturity and self-reflection colleges may seek in a student.
By sharing lessons learned in this type of essay, you also share how you will contribute to any college campus with your newly acquired traits and perspectives.
If you had to move from one city to another, perhaps you learned to be flexible or met new friends who helped you discover your fascination with science and technology. If you faced bullying, maybe you learned how to respect yourself without outside validation and gained resilience. Whatever the challenge, the lessons associated with overcoming it are most important.
Share actions you took as a result of overcoming the challenge
To help readers understand how you overcame the challenge and how the lessons you learned tangibly affected your life, you should also consider your actions after overcoming your obstacle.
For example, if you witnessed discrimination at school, you could have founded an anti-bullying campaign or student organization. If you lost a family member to a specific disease, you may have volunteered with an organization to help fund research for a cure.
Remember, all of this information needs to be authentic to your experience. Even the most minor actions can be impactful. So, truth is always best, even if you just learned to treat your family better or significantly improve your grades after facing this obstacle.
Connect the lessons you learned to your future
Finally, you can strengthen your response even more by connecting the lessons you learned and actions you took with your future goals.
Think about how you will show up in college after facing this challenge. And consider how you are better equipped now to achieve your future goals because of the lessons you learned. You can then tie this into how attending each college will help you reach those goals.
Seek support!
Admissions officers should never be the first people to read your essay. Get help from a teacher or college counselor, your parents or guardians, an online college essay writing site like Prompt , or fellow scholars like other NSHSS members before you hit "submit."
Have them read your essay and provide you with constructive feedback about content and structure. If you're stuck, you can ask for some "overcoming an obstacle" essay examples or ideas from those who know you well.
Then, submit your essay and enjoy that feeling of accomplishment!
Answering the essay prompt "Describe a Challenge You Overcame" offers a unique opportunity to showcase your resilience, growth, and problem-solving skills. By focusing on the specifics of the challenge, the steps you took to overcome it, and the lessons you learned, you'll answer the prompt effectively and make a lasting impression on the admissions team.
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How to Write a Conclusion for an Essay
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The conclusion is the final paragraph of your writing, and it holds significant weight. It allows you to leave a lasting impression on the reader. But how to write a conclusion that effectively summarizes your points and resonates with your audience?
This article will guide you through the process of crafting a strong conclusion paragraph, step by step. Our term paper writers will break down the key elements and provide clear examples to illustrate each point. By following these steps and referencing the examples, you'll be well on your way to writing impactful conclusions that leave your reader feeling satisfied and informed.
What Is a Conclusion
Conclusion in an essay is the final paragraph or section that wraps up the main points and provides closure to the piece.
Imagine it as the bridge that connects your ideas to a broader significance. A well-crafted conclusion does more than simply summarize; it elevates your points and offers a sense of closure, ensuring the reader leaves with a clear understanding of your argument's impact. In the next section, you will find conclusion ideas that you could use for your essay.
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How to Write a Conclusion
A powerful conclusion not only summarizes but also reinforces your message and leaves a lasting impression. Here's a breakdown of how to write a conclusion for an essay:
- Restate Your Thesis: Briefly remind the reader of your central point. Don't simply copy and paste your thesis statement, but rephrase it using different words.
- Summarize Key Points: Revisit the main arguments or evidence you presented throughout your writing. This reminds the reader of the journey you took them on and ensures they grasp the core takeaways.
- Avoid Introducing New Information: The conclusion is not the place to introduce brand new ideas. Stick to summarizing and reinforcing the existing points.
- End on a Strong Note: Go beyond a simple summary. You can add a final thought, pose a question to spark further reflection, or highlight the significance of your topic.
Read more: Persuasive essay outline .
The Purpose of a Conclusion
As you already understand, the conclusion paragraph serves a critical function in your writing. It serves as a final push to solidify your message in your readers’ minds. It's also your opportunity to:
- Remind the reader of your central point (thesis) and the key arguments or evidence used to support it.
- Use this space to offer a final thought, pose a question that prompts further pondering, or emphasize the significance of your topic.
Remember, a concluding paragraph should NOT:
- Introduce New Information: The conclusion is not the place for brand new ideas. Its purpose lies in wrapping up and reinforcing what you've already established.
- Stray from the Thesis: Don't introduce arguments or evidence not discussed earlier in your writing. Maintain focus on the core message you've been building throughout your work.
How Long Should a Conclusion Paragraph Be
Generally, the ideal length depends on the overall length and complexity of your essay. However, it is not the sole factor. A well-written conclusion of 3 sentences can be far more effective than a rambling one that drags on for multiple paragraphs.
Here are some general guidelines can help you achieve a balance when writing a conclusion:
- In most cases, you can effectively summarize your points and leave a lasting impression within 3-5 sentences.
- Prioritize delivering a clear and impactful message over unnecessary elaboration.
- Proportion matters. A lengthy research paper might warrant a slightly longer conclusion (think 5-7 sentences) to adequately address all the main points. Conversely, a shorter piece like a blog post might require a more concise conclusion (2-4 sentences).
Conclusion Transition Words
The right transition word can smoothly bridge the gap between your main body of text and your conclusion. Here are some transition words for conclusion categorized by their purpose:
Category 🔖 | Phrases 💬 |
---|---|
Summarizing 📝 | In conclusion, To summarize, In essence, Overall, On the whole |
Looking Ahead ⏩ | As a result, Consequently, Therefore, Hence, Thus |
Emphasizing Significance 🌟 | More importantly, Even more so, It is crucial to remember that, Undoubtedly |
Offering a Final Thought 🧐 | In closing, Finally, To conclude, Ultimately |
Shifting to a Call to Action 📣 | For this reason, With this in mind, Let us now consider, In light of the above |
7 Tips for Writing a Conclusion
Having grasped the core functions and structure of a conclusion paragraph, let's check out some practical tips to elevate your closing statements. Here are 7 effective strategies to consider from our dissertation writer :
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- Vary Your Sentence Structure: Avoid a monotonous string of simple sentences. Use a mix of sentence structures (short, long, complex) to create a more engaging rhythm.
- Connect to the Introduction: For a cohesive feel, subtly tie your conclusion back to your introduction. You can reference an opening question you posed or revisit a key image you mentioned. Consider this tip especially when unsure how to start a conclusion.
- Embrace Figurative Language (Sparingly): There are different conclusion ideas but a well-placed metaphor or simile can help leave a lasting impression. However, use figurative language strategically and avoid clichés.
- Appeal to the Reader's Emotions: Did your writing highlight a pressing issue? Consider evoking emotions relevant to your topic when you want to know how to write a conclusion paragraph that tugs at the reader's heartstrings.
- Consider a Quote (if Relevant): A powerful quote from a credible source can add authority and depth to your essay conclusion. Ensure the quote aligns with your thesis and enhances your message.
- End with a Strong Call to Action (Optional): If your purpose is to persuade or inspire action, conclude with a clear call to action. Tell your reader exactly what you want them to do next.
- Proofread and Revise: Just like any other part of your writing, proofread your conclusion carefully. Ensure clarity and a smooth flow between your main body of text and the closing statement.
By this time, you already know how to write a conclusion for an essay. However, if you still need further guidance, buy essay from our expert writers anytime!
Do’s and Don’ts of Essay Conclusion
Let's now look at some simple tips from our online paper writing service to help you avoid common mistakes when writing a conclusion.
Dos ✅ | Don'ts ❌ |
---|---|
Remind reader of main idea | Don't retell everything |
Briefly touch on main arguments or evidence. | Don't bring up new ideas |
Offer a final thought, question, or highlight the topic's importance. | Don't go off on tangents |
Tailor your conclusion to resonate with your reader. | Don't use tired phrases. Be original, avoid clichés. |
Leave a lasting impression with a powerful statement, question, or call to action (if needed). | Don't end abruptly |
Conclusion Paragraph Examples
Here are three conclusion paragraph examples showcasing how powerful closings are crafted.
Recommended for reading: Nursing essay examples .
In closing, a strong conclusion is a must-have for any piece of writing. It reminds your reader of your main point and leaves them with a lasting impression. Here are some key things to reflect on how to write a good conclusion:
- Restate your thesis in a fresh way.
- Mention your key arguments.
- Leave a lasting thought or question.
- Consider your audience and tailor your ending to them.
- End with a strong statement.
Remember, a good conclusion is not merely about wrapping things up but rather about making your writing truly impactful.
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How To Write A Conclusion For An Essay?
How to write a good conclusion, how to write a conclusion for a college essay.
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Daniel Parker
is a seasoned educational writer focusing on scholarship guidance, research papers, and various forms of academic essays including reflective and narrative essays. His expertise also extends to detailed case studies. A scholar with a background in English Literature and Education, Daniel’s work on EssayPro blog aims to support students in achieving academic excellence and securing scholarships. His hobbies include reading classic literature and participating in academic forums.
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is an expert in nursing and healthcare, with a strong background in history, law, and literature. Holding advanced degrees in nursing and public health, his analytical approach and comprehensive knowledge help students navigate complex topics. On EssayPro blog, Adam provides insightful articles on everything from historical analysis to the intricacies of healthcare policies. In his downtime, he enjoys historical documentaries and volunteering at local clinics.
- Updated writing tips.
- Added informative tables.
- Added conclusion example.
- Added an article conclusion.
- Essay Conclusions | UMGC. (n.d.). University of Maryland Global Campus. https://www.umgc.edu/current-students/learning-resources/writing-center/writing-resources/writing/essay-conclusions
- How to Write a Conclusion for an Essay | BestColleges. (n.d.). BestColleges.com. https://www.bestcolleges.com/blog/how-to-write-a-conclusion/
- Ending the Essay: Conclusions | Harvard College Writing Center. (n.d.). https://writingcenter.fas.harvard.edu/pages/ending-essay-conclusions
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How to Write a Personal Challenge Essay (with Examples)
A personal challenge essay offers a singular chance for introspection and personal development. It gives you a chance to consider your past, face difficulties, and demonstrate your tenacity. This essay structure enables you to communicate your ideas and experiences with others, regardless of whether you’ve overcome hardship, dealt with a tricky circumstance, or chased an audacious goal. You’ll walk you through the phases of writing an engaging personal challenge essay in this in-depth guide, complete with samples that demonstrate the procedure.
Understanding the Personal Challenge Essay
The Personal challenges in life as a student essay asks you to describe an instance or time in your life when you had to overcome challenges, setbacks, or barriers. It’s an opportunity to demonstrate your resilience, your capacity to face adversity, and the lessons you’ve picked up along the road. This kind of article necessitates reflection, sincerity, and skillful narrative.
Selecting a Meaningful Challenge
It’s important to pick the correct challenge to write about. Think about Personal challenges in life as a student essay that profoundly influenced your development, principles, or attitude on life. It can have been an obstacle you overcame in your studies, relationships, sense of self, or any other area of your life. The task should have personal significance for you and provide information that your audience can relate to.
Structuring Your Personal Challenge Essay
To effectively portray your experiences, feelings, and growth, writing an engaging personal challenge essay involves careful thought and a well-organized format. The following steps will show you how to organize your essay such that it presents a logical and interesting story:
Introduction:
Beginning your essay with an attention-grabbing hook that draws the reader in and highlights the topic of the difficulty you’ll be exploring is a good idea. This might be a provocative inquiry, a moving saying, a detailed account, or a first-hand account associated with your issue.
Background & Context:
Make sure the reader has all the background knowledge they need to comprehend your dilemma. Describe the context, surroundings, and any other pertinent information that establishes the scene for your narrative. Additionally, you have the choice to ask for assistance from PhD thesis writing help if you run into difficulties when writing the background and context of your thesis or dissertation or if you are unsure owing to a lack of experience. They can offer helpful assistance to improve the caliber of your work.
The Challenge:
Describe the challenge in detail in a portion of your essay. When describing the challenges, difficulties, or setbacks you encountered, be descriptive and in-depth.
Your Reaction and Result:
Write about how you responded to the challenge in this part. What steps have you taken? Did you make crucial decisions, prepare a plan, or ask for assistance? Be sure to emphasize your ability to solve problems, tenacity, and any other traits that may have helped you overcome the obstacle.
Growth and Reflection:
Consider the encounter and share what you took away from it. What effects did the challenge have on your emotions, mind, and possibly even body? What new understandings did you get about who you are, your values, or your outlook on life? Describe how you overcame the obstacle to grow personally, discover yourself, or alter your perspective.
Takeaways & Lessons:
The exact lessons you took away from overcoming the obstacle should be highlighted. What priceless knowledge, abilities, or traits did you acquire as a result? Describe how these teachings have shaped your current behavior, choices, or attitude in life.
Conclusion:
Writing a compelling conclusion that connects everything can help you to conclude your essay. Write a summary of your shared journey, highlighting your personal development and new perspectives.
Include a Call to Action (Optional):
Depending on the nature of your issue, you might want to include a call to action that prompts the reader to reflect on their own issues, take action, or adopt a particular attitude.
After you’ve finished writing the essay, take some time to review and make any necessary changes. Check that the grammar, spelling, and punctuation in your writing are correct, as well as the flow.
Maintain You’re Authentic Voice Throughout the Essay:
While it’s crucial to follow a structured methodology, don’t forget to preserve your authentic voice. Remain sincere, honest, and personal in your writing. Your unique perspective and emotions will lend greater authenticity to your writing and make it more compelling. By adhering to the instructions outlined in this comprehensive guide, you’ll effectively organize your personal challenge essay. This approach will skillfully lead your readers through your journey, captivating their attention and leaving a memorable impression. Furthermore, if you find it challenging to maintain a systematic approach, consider seeking assistance from master thesis writing help. Their expertise can aid you in completing your work with precision and coherence.
Don’ts and Dos
Be upfront and honest when discussing your experiences. Do emphasize your development and lessons acquired. To keep the reader’s attention, employ colorful language and descriptions. Don’t make up or embellish details. Instead of blaming others for the difficulty, concentrate on your solution. Choose a challenge that had a significant influence rather than one that was inconsequential.
Examples of Personal Challenge Essays
Following are the Personal challenge essay examples:
Overcoming Academic Challenges:
Navigating the challenges we face in life essay can be a transformative journey that leads to personal growth and self-discovery. A prime example of this is when I confronted a series of academic setbacks. I realized that my ingrained fear of failing was standing in the way of my development. I, however, resisted allowing this fear to direct my course. I started a quest for self-improvement with pure tenacity. I reached out for guidance and support, shedding light on the power of seeking assistance when needed.
Overcoming Fear:
For instance, I had always been terrified of public speaking, but I had to face my phobia to present in front of a large crowd. I overcame my anxiety about public speaking over time with practice and confidence, and I also acquired speaking abilities that I still use today.
Dealing with Personal Loss:
Losing a loved one was a difficult emotional experience that altered my outlook on relationships and life. I learned the value of cherishing moments and helping others in need through my grief and contemplation.
Examples of challenges you have overcome as a student essay
I have encountered a range of challenges as a student, which has pushed my perseverance, adaptability, and resilience to the test. Even though they occasionally proved to be challenging, these obstacles ultimately helped me become a better and more capable individual. Here are a few instances of obstacles I overcame in my academic career:
Time Management Challenges:
Juggling schoolwork, assignments, extracurricular activities, and personal obligations can be difficult. There were times when I struggled to adequately manage my time, which resulted in missed deadlines and frustration. To overcome this difficulty, I started adopting time management strategies like making a thorough calendar, establishing priorities, and breaking work down into smaller, more manageable pieces. I became more organized about my obligations over time, which led to increased productivity and decreased stress. Furthermore, many students pursuing careers in the medical field face similarly demanding schedules that make it challenging to meet deadlines. In such cases, they often turn to nursing research paper writing services to ensure the quality and timeliness of their assignments.
Academic Setbacks:
It was demoralizing to experience academic setbacks, such as earning lower grades than expected. I decided to take advantage of these setbacks as chances for improvement rather than giving in to self-doubt. I requested input from my lecturers, made note of my weaknesses, and put focused study techniques into practice. I was able to improve my academic performance and regain my confidence by persevering and being willing to learn from my failures.
Language Barrier:
Navigating English as a second language introduced a unique set of challenges, especially in terms of effective communication and the completion of writing assignments. In essays and presentations, I often encountered hurdles in articulating my thoughts coherently and concisely. To overcome this hurdle, I actively expanded my vocabulary, engaged in consistent reading and writing exercises, and actively sought input from peers and professors. Furthermore, this drive to enhance my linguistic abilities not only improved my communication skills but also bolstered my confidence in expressing myself in academic and professional settings. My determination to conquer these language-related challenges demonstrates my commitment to growth and adaptability, qualities that I believe would make me a strong candidate for the Harvard Scholarship Essay .
Dynamics of Group Projects:
Due to the various work habits, schedules, and perspectives held by the group members, collaborative projects have occasionally proven to be difficult. I adopted efficient communication techniques, such as active listening and open discussion, to handle these circumstances. By praising each team member’s abilities and accomplishments, I helped to create a more effective and pleasant working atmosphere.
Personal Well-Being and Health:
It can be difficult to maintain a good balance between your personal needs and your academic obligations. I have occasionally overlooked my needs, which has resulted in burnout and a decline in drive. I gave exercise, wholesome eating, and regular breaks top priority since I understood how important self-care was. This all-encompassing strategy not only increased my general well-being but also sharpened my attention and increased my output. These examples collectively constitute my challenges in life as a student essay. They serve as valuable lessons that offer insights on how to navigate and overcome various situations.
How to Revise and Improve Your Essay
For instance, if you are given a topic such as “Essay on Environmental Problems and Their Solutions” and you’re not well-versed in it, it’s advisable to invest time in research. This will enable you to create quality content for your essay. After writing your personal challenge essay, it’s essential to engage in the editing and revision process. Ensure that your essay flows logically and that your ideas are well-organized. Edit for clarity, grammar, and punctuation. If you’re seeking a comprehensive perspective, consider seeking feedback from peers, professors, or mentors.
Frequently Asked Questions
Final thoughts.
Writing a personal challenge essay offers you the chance to share your unique journey and inspire others through your resilience and progress you can create an engaging tale that engrosses your readers by choosing a pertinent challenge, using a solid essay structure, and remaining honest. It’s crucial to remember that your essay about a personal issue demonstrates both your capacity for self-reflection and personal development in addition to your capacity for overcoming challenges. For those who face challenges in managing their academic tasks, there are online homework writing services available that can provide valuable assistance and support.
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8 Overcoming Challenges College Essay Examples
The purpose of the Overcoming Challenges essay is for schools to see how you might handle the difficulties of college. They want to know how you grow, evolve, and learn when you face adversity. For this topic, there are many clichés , such as getting a bad grade or losing a sports game, so be sure to steer clear of those and focus on a topic that’s unique to you. (See our full guide on the Overcoming Challenges Essay for more tips).
These overcoming challenges essay examples were all written by real students. Read through them to get a sense of what makes a strong essay. At the end, we’ll present the revision process for the first essay and share some resources for improving your essay.
Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized.
Essay 1: Becoming a Coach
“Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.
Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.
Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.
Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.
I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.
At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.
Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.
Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.
Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.
Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.
This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly their dejectedness, at not being able to compete.
Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. The writer shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.
One area of improvement of this essay would be the “attack” wording. The author likely uses this word as a metaphor for martial arts, but it feels too strong to describe the adults’ doubt of the student’s abilities as a coach, and can even be confusing at first.
Still, we see the student’s resilience as they are able to move past the disbelieving looks to help their team. The essay is kept real and vulnerable, however, as the writer admits having doubts: Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.
The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.
Essay 2: Starting a Fire
Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire.
Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family.
Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt.
“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame.
In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him.
Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses.
That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.
This essay is an excellent example because the writer turns an everyday challenge—starting a fire—into an exploration of her identity. The writer was once “a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes,” but has since traded her love of the outdoors for a love of music, writing, and reading.
The story begins in media res , or in the middle of the action, allowing readers to feel as if we’re there with the writer. One of the essay’s biggest strengths is its use of imagery. We can easily visualize the writer’s childhood and the present day. For instance, she states that she “rubbed and rubbed [the twigs] until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers.”
The writing has an extremely literary quality, particularly with its wordplay. The writer reappropriates words and meanings, and even appeals to the senses: “My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame.” She later uses a parallelism to cleverly juxtapose her changed interests: “instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano.”
One of the essay’s main areas of improvement is its overemphasis on the “story” and lack of emphasis on the reflection. The second to last paragraph about changing perspective is crucial to the essay, as it ties the anecdote to larger lessons in the writer’s life. She states that she hasn’t changed, but has only shifted perspective. Yet, we don’t get a good sense of where this realization comes from and how it impacts her life going forward.
The end of the essay offers a satisfying return to the fire imagery, and highlights the writer’s passion—the one thing that has remained constant in her life.
Essay 3: Last-Minute Switch
The morning of the Model United Nation conference, I walked into Committee feeling confident about my research. We were simulating the Nuremberg Trials – a series of post-World War II proceedings for war crimes – and my portfolio was of the Soviet Judge Major General Iona Nikitchenko. Until that day, the infamous Nazi regime had only been a chapter in my history textbook; however, the conference’s unveiling of each defendant’s crimes brought those horrors to life. The previous night, I had organized my research, proofread my position paper and gone over Judge Nikitchenko’s pertinent statements. I aimed to find the perfect balance between his stance and my own.
As I walked into committee anticipating a battle of wits, my director abruptly called out to me. “I’m afraid we’ve received a late confirmation from another delegate who will be representing Judge Nikitchenko. You, on the other hand, are now the defense attorney, Otto Stahmer.” Everyone around me buzzed around the room in excitement, coordinating with their allies and developing strategies against their enemies, oblivious to the bomb that had just dropped on me. I felt frozen in my tracks, and it seemed that only rage against the careless delegate who had confirmed her presence so late could pull me out of my trance. After having spent a month painstakingly crafting my verdicts and gathering evidence against the Nazis, I now needed to reverse my stance only three hours before the first session.
Gradually, anger gave way to utter panic. My research was fundamental to my performance, and without it, I knew I could add little to the Trials. But confident in my ability, my director optimistically recommended constructing an impromptu defense. Nervously, I began my research anew. Despite feeling hopeless, as I read through the prosecution’s arguments, I uncovered substantial loopholes. I noticed a lack of conclusive evidence against the defendants and certain inconsistencies in testimonies. My discovery energized me, inspiring me to revisit the historical overview in my conference “Background Guide” and to search the web for other relevant articles. Some Nazi prisoners had been treated as “guilty” before their court dates. While I had brushed this information under the carpet while developing my position as a judge, i t now became the focus of my defense. I began scratching out a new argument, centered on the premise that the allied countries had violated the fundamental rule that, a defendant was “not guilty” until proven otherwise.
At the end of the three hours, I felt better prepared. The first session began, and with bravado, I raised my placard to speak. Microphone in hand, I turned to face my audience. “Greetings delegates. I, Otto Stahmer would like to…….” I suddenly blanked. Utter dread permeated my body as I tried to recall my thoughts in vain. “Defence Attorney, Stahmer we’ll come back to you,” my Committee Director broke the silence as I tottered back to my seat, flushed with embarrassment. Despite my shame, I was undeterred. I needed to vindicate my director’s faith in me. I pulled out my notes, refocused, and began outlining my arguments in a more clear and direct manner. Thereafter, I spoke articulately, confidently putting forth my points. I was overjoyed when Secretariat members congratulated me on my fine performance.
Going into the conference, I believed that preparation was the key to success. I wouldn’t say I disagree with that statement now, but I believe adaptability is equally important. My ability to problem-solve in the face of an unforeseen challenge proved advantageous in the art of diplomacy. Not only did this experience transform me into a confident and eloquent delegate at that conference, but it also helped me become a more flexible and creative thinker in a variety of other capacities. Now that I know I can adapt under pressure, I look forward to engaging in activities that will push me to be even quicker on my feet.
This essay is an excellent example because it focuses on a unique challenge and is highly engaging. The writer details their experience reversing their stance in a Model UN trial with only a few hours notice, after having researched and prepared to argue the opposite perspective for a month.
Their essay is written in media res , or in the middle of the action, allowing readers to feel as if we’re there with the writer. The student openly shares their internal thoughts with us — we feel their anger and panic upon the reversal of roles. We empathize with their emotions of “utter dread” and embarrassment when they’re unable to speak.
From the essay, we learn that the student believes in thorough preparation, but can also adapt to unforeseen obstacles. They’re able to rise to the challenge and put together an impromptu argument, think critically under pressure, and recover after their initial inability to speak.
Essay 4: Music as a Coping Mechanism
CW: This essay mentions self-harm.
Sobbing uncontrollably, I parked around the corner from my best friend’s house. As I sat in the driver’s seat, I whispered the most earnest prayer I had ever offered.
Minutes before, I had driven to Colin’s house to pick up a prop for our upcoming spring musical. When I got there, his older brother, Tom, came to the door and informed me that no one else was home. “No,” I corrected, “Colin is here. He’s got a migraine.” Tom shook his head and gently told me where Colin actually was: the psychiatric unit of the local hospital. I felt a weight on my chest as I connected the dots; the terrifying picture rocked my safe little world. Tom’s words blurred as he explained Colin’s self-harm, but all I could think of was whether I could have stopped him. Those cuts on his arms had never been accidents. Colin had lied, very convincingly, many times. How could I have ignored the signs in front of me? Somehow, I managed to ask Tom whether I could see him, but he told me that visiting hours for non-family members were over for the day. I would have to move on with my afternoon.
Once my tears had subsided a little, I drove to the theater, trying to pull myself together and warm up to sing. How would I rehearse? I couldn’t sing three notes without bursting into tears. “I can’t do this,” I thought. But then I realized that the question wasn’t whether I could do it. I knew Colin would want me to push through, and something deep inside told me that music was the best way for me to process my grief. I needed to sing.
I practiced the lyrics throughout my whole drive. The first few times, I broke down in sobs. By the time I reached the theater, however, the music had calmed me. While Colin would never be far from my mind, I had to focus on the task ahead: recording vocals and then producing the video trailer that would be shown to my high school classmates. I fought to channel my worry into my recording. If my voice shook during the particularly heartfelt moments, it only added emotion and depth to my performance. I felt Colin’s absence next to me, but even before I listened to that first take, I knew it was a keeper.
With one of my hurdles behind me, I steeled myself again and prepared for the musical’s trailer. In a floor-length black cape and purple dress, I swept regally down the steps to my director, who waited outside. Under a gloomy sky that threatened to turn stormy, I boldly strode across the street, tossed a dainty yellow bouquet, and flashed confident grins at all those staring. My grief lurched inside, but I felt powerful. Despite my sadness, I could still make art.
To my own surprise, I successfully took back the day. I had felt pain, but I had not let it drown me – making music was a productive way to express my feelings than worrying. Since then, I have been learning to take better care of myself in difficult situations. That day before rehearsal, I found myself in the most troubling circumstances of my life thus far, but they did not sink me because I refused to sink. When my aunt developed cancer several months later, I knew that resolution would not come quickly, but that I could rely on music to cope with the agony, even when it would be easier to fall apart. Thankfully, Colin recovered from his injuries and was home within days. The next week, we stood together on stage at our show’s opening night. As our eyes met and our voices joined in song, I knew that music would always be our greatest mechanism for transforming pain into strength.
This essay is well-written, as we can feel the writer’s emotions through the thoughts they share, and visualize the night of the performance through their rich descriptions. Their varied sentence length also makes the essay more engaging.
That said, this essay is not a great example because of the framing of the topic. The writer can come off as insensitive since they make their friend’s struggle about themself and their emotions (and this is only worsened by the mention of their aunt’s cancer and how it was tough on them ). The essay would’ve been stronger if it focused on their guilt of not recognizing their friend’s struggles and spanned a longer period of time to demonstrate gradual relationship building and reflection. Still, this would’ve been difficult to do well.
In general, you should try to choose a challenge that is undeniably your own, and you should get at least one or two people to read your essay to give you candid feedback.
Essay 5: Dedicating a Track
“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.
Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.
Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.
They didn’t bite.
Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.
Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin.
The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.
Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.
While the writer didn’t succeed in getting the track dedicated to Coach Stark, their essay is certainly successful in showing their willingness to push themselves and take initiative.
The essay opens with a quote from Coach Stark that later comes full circle at the end of the essay. We learn about Stark’s impact and the motivation for trying to get the track dedicated to him.
One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.
The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.
The essay goes on to explain how the writer overcame their apprehension of public speaking, and likens the process of submitting an appeal to the school board to running a race. This metaphor makes the writing more engaging and allows us to feel the student’s emotions.
While the student didn’t ultimately succeed in getting the track dedicated, we learn about their resilience and initiative: I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.
Overall, this essay is well-done. It demonstrates growth despite failing to meet a goal, which is a unique essay structure. The running metaphor and full-circle intro/ending also elevate the writing in this essay.
Essay 6: Body Image
CW: This essay mentions eating disorders.
I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.
I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.
When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.
By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.
Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?
This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?
The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.
We can see that the writer of this essay has been through a lot, and a strength of their essay is their vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”
The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.
The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members.
Still, this essay shows us that this student is honest, self-aware, and caring, which are all qualities admissions officer are looking for.
Essay 7: Health Crisis
Tears streamed down my face and my mind was paralyzed with fear. Sirens blared, but the silent panic in my own head was deafening. I was muted by shock. A few hours earlier, I had anticipated a vacation in Washington, D.C., but unexpectedly, I was rushing to the hospital behind an ambulance carrying my mother. As a fourteen-year-old from a single mother household, without a driver’s license, and seven hours from home, I was distraught over the prospect of losing the only parent I had. My fear turned into action as I made some of the bravest decisions of my life.
Three blood transfusions later, my mother’s condition was stable, but we were still states away from home, so I coordinated with my mother’s doctors in North Carolina to schedule the emergency operation that would save her life. Throughout her surgery, I anxiously awaited any word from her surgeon, but each time I asked, I was told that there had been another complication or delay. Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities.
My mother had been a source of strength for me, and now I would be strong for her through her long recovery ahead. As I started high school, everyone thought the crisis was over, but it had really just started to impact my life. My mother was often fatigued, so I assumed more responsibility, juggling family duties, school, athletics, and work. I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover. I didn’t know I was capable of such maturity and resourcefulness until it was called upon. Each day was a stage in my gradual transformation from dependence to relative independence.
Throughout my mother’s health crisis, I matured by learning to put others’ needs before my own. As I worried about my mother’s health, I took nothing for granted, cherished what I had, and used my daily activities as motivation to move forward. I now take ownership over small decisions such as scheduling daily appointments and managing my time but also over major decisions involving my future, including the college admissions process. Although I have become more independent, my mother and I are inseparably close, and the realization that I almost lost her affects me daily. Each morning, I wake up ten minutes early simply to eat breakfast with my mother and spend time with her before our busy days begin. I am aware of how quickly life can change. My mother remains a guiding force in my life, but the feeling of empowerment I discovered within myself is the ultimate form of my independence. Though I thought the summer before my freshman year would be a transition from middle school to high school, it was a transformation from childhood to adulthood.
This essay feels real and tells readers a lot about the writer. To start at the beginning, the intro is 10/10. It has drama, it has emotions, and it has the reader wanting more.
And, when you keep going, you get to learn a lot about a very resilient and mature student. Through sentences like “I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover” and “Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities,” the reader shows us that they are aware of their resilience and maturity, but are not arrogant about it. It is simply a fact that they have proven through their actions!
This essay makes us want to cheer for the writer, and they certainly seem like someone who would thrive in a more independent college environment.
Essay 8: Turned Tables
“You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.
Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.
When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also – perhaps more importantly – a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.
As it turned out, Green Academy was everything I’d hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time – and a massive argument – to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.
Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Max’s outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents – not I – had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it – and I didn’t want to.
We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasn’t just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.
We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. I’d long thought Max had it so easy – all because he had friends. The truth was, he didn’t need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate – he had felt plenty of his own.
My failure to recognize Max’s suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone – most certainly – has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story.
Here you can find a prime example that you don’t have to have fabulous imagery or flowery prose to write a successful essay. You just have to be clear and say something that matters. This essay is simple and beautiful. It almost feels like having a conversation with a friend and learning that they are an even better person than you already thought they were.
Through this narrative, readers learn a lot about the writer—where they’re from, what their family life is like, what their challenges were as a kid, and even their sexuality. We also learn a lot about their values—notably, the value they place on awareness, improvement, and consideration of others. Though they never explicitly state it (which is great because it is still crystal clear!), this student’s ending of “I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story” shows that they are constantly striving for improvement and finding lessons anywhere they can get them in life.
Where to Get Your Overcoming Challenges Essays Edited
Do you want feedback on your Overcoming Challenges essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.
If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!
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Essays and Short Answer Prompts
The Penn application process includes a personal essay —which is sent to most schools you apply to—as well as a few short answer prompts . We read your words carefully, as they are yet another window into how you think, what you value, and how you see the world. Through your writing, we get a glimpse of what you might bring to our community—including your voice and creativity.
Remember, you are the expert on your story. This is an opportunity for you to reflect and understand who you are now, and who you want to be in the future. You have the agency to choose the information you want to share. This is your story: your experiences, your ideas, your perspective.
A Few Writing Tips
- Review the prompts thoroughly. Be sure you’re answering the question or prompt being asked. Topics are chosen because the Admissions Committee wants to know specific things about you. If you don’t address them directly, we are left to make decisions regarding your application with incomplete information.
- Consider your response carefully. We understand that you may be writing responses for different schools and you may want to reuse material, but be sure to read through your response to make sure it is relevant to the prompt.
- Double-check your writing. Give yourself time to revisit your response. Try to avoid rushing your writing process so you have time to revise your work. Ultimately, it is up to you to polish and proofread your writing before you submit.
- Do your research. Are there classes you’re eager to take? Research opportunities you’d love to pursue? A group or club you want to be a part of? This kind of specificity shows us you’re serious about Penn and have thought about how you’d spend your time here.
2023-24 Short Answer and Essay Prompts
When answering these prompts, be precise when explaining both why you are applying to Penn and why you have chosen to apply to that specific undergraduate school. Some of our specialized programs will have additional essays to complete, but the Penn short answer prompts should address your single-degree or single-school choice.
- Write a short thank-you note to someone you have not yet thanked and would like to acknowledge. (We encourage you to share this note with that person, if possible, and reflect on the experience!) (150-200 words, not required for transfer applicants)
- How will you explore community at Penn? Consider how Penn will help shape your perspective, and how your experiences and perspective will help shape Penn. (150-200 words)
- The school-specific prompt is unique to the school to which you are applying. (For example, all applicants applying to the College of Arts and Sciences will respond to the prompt under the “College of Arts and Sciences” section). Considering the undergraduate school you have selected for your single-degree option, please respond to your school-specific prompt below.
Transfer Essay (required for all transfer applicants): Please explain your reasons for transferring from your current institution and what you hope to gain by transferring to another institution. (4150 characters)
Undergraduate School-Specific Short Answer Prompts
For students applying to coordinated dual-degree and specialized programs, please answer this question about your single-degree school choice; your interest in the coordinated dual-degree or specialized program may be addressed through the program-specific essay.
Penn Nursing intends to meet the health needs of society in a global and multicultural world by preparing its students to impact healthcare by advancing science and promoting equity. What do you think this means for the future of nursing, and how do you see yourself contributing to our mission of promoting equity in healthcare? (150-200 words)
To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about Penn Nursing’s mission and how we promote equity in healthcare . This information will help you develop a stronger understanding of our values and how they align with your own goals and aspirations.
The flexible structure of The College of Arts and Sciences’ curriculum is designed to inspire exploration, foster connections, and help you create a path of study through general education courses and a major. What are you curious about and how would you take advantage of opportunities in the arts and sciences? (150-200 words)
To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about the academic offerings within the College of Arts and Sciences . This information will help you develop a stronger understanding of how the study of the liberal arts aligns with your own goals and aspirations.
Wharton prepares its students to make an impact by applying business methods and economic theory to real-world problems, including economic, political, and social issues. Please reflect on a current issue of importance to you and share how you hope a Wharton education would help you to explore it. (150-200 words)
To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about the foundations of a Wharton education . This information will help you better understand what you could learn by studying at Wharton and what you could do afterward.
Penn Engineering prepares its students to become leaders in technology, by combining a strong foundation in the natural sciences and mathematics, exploration in the liberal arts, and depth of study in focused disciplinary majors. Please share how you hope to explore your engineering interests at Penn. (150-200 words)
To help inform your response, applicants are encouraged to learn more about Penn Engineering and its mission to prepare students for global leadership in technology . This information will help you develop a stronger understanding of academic pathways within Penn Engineering and how they align with your goals and interests.
Coordinated Dual Degree and Specialized Program Essay Prompts
For students applying to coordinated dual-degree and specialized programs, please answer the program-specific essay below.
** Numbers marked with double asterisks indicate a character count that only applies to transfer students applying through Common App.
Why are you interested in the Digital Media Design (DMD) program at the University of Pennsylvania? (400-650 words / 3575 characters**)
We encourage you to learn more about the DMD: Digital Media Design Program .
The Huntsman Program supports the development of globally minded scholars who become engaged citizens, creative innovators, and ethical leaders in the public, private, and non-profit sectors in the United States and internationally. What draws you to a dual-degree program in business and international studies, and how would you use what you learn to contribute to a global issue where business and international affairs intersect? (400-650 words)
The LSM program aims to provide students with a fundamental understanding of the life sciences and their management with an eye to identifying, advancing, and implementing innovations. What issues would you want to address using the understanding gained from such a program? Note that this essay should be distinct from your single degree essay. (400-650 words)
- Explain how you will use the M&T program to explore your interest in business, engineering, and the intersection of the two. (400-650 words)
- Describe a problem that you solved that showed leadership and creativity. (250 words)
Describe your interests in modern networked information systems and technologies, such as the internet, and their impact on society, whether in terms of economics, communication, or the creation of beneficial content for society. Feel free to draw on examples from your own experiences as a user, developer, or student of technology. (400-650 words / 3575 characters**)
Discuss your interest in nursing and health care management. How might Penn's coordinated dual-degree program in nursing and business help you meet your goals? (400-650 words)
How do you envision your participation in the Vagelos Integrated Program in Energy Research (VIPER) furthering your interests in energy science and technology? Please include any past experiences (ex. academic, research, or extracurricular) that have led to your interest in the program. Additionally, please indicate why you are interested in pursuing dual degrees in science and engineering and which VIPER majors are most interesting to you at this time. (400-650 words)
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Last updated July 17, 2024
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Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 12 Common App Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)
12 Common App Essay Examples (Graded by Former Admissions Officers)
Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University
Written by Alex McNeil, MA Admissions Consultant
Key Takeaway
If you’re applying to college, chances are you’re using the Common Application. And if you’re using the Common Application, then you’re definitely writing a Common Application essay.
But how do you write a Common App essay? More specifically, how do you write a good one that stands out to admissions officers? And hey—what does a good Common App essay even look like?
We’ve compiled some of our favorite college essays for you to read. Even better, our team of former admissions officers has commented on and graded every single essay to guide you through what works (and doesn’t).
Let’s start by looking at an example to get a feel for what you're going for.
Example #1: My Shape
This essay example comes from the Essay Academy , our digital college essay course. It has a really unique structure and uses shapes as a metaphor. It's also written in response to Common App Prompt #2.
It may seem counterintuitive, but college essays aren’t about showing only showing successes. There’s also room for showing growth. Of course, you want your Common App essay to ultimately communicate a strength about you, but it’s okay to show vulnerability and humility—just like this student does. At the beginning of the essay, we see them start to struggle: their strategy breaks down, and they detail a period of their life when they struggled to keep up.
But by the end of the essay, our writer has found their way. They’ve found new strategies and are more sure of who they are now—a gateway. The writer doesn’t dwell on their struggles. They use the struggles to show growth, adaptability, and strength.
(Want to see more video examples and get personalized application and essay advice? Let’s work together. )
With that example in mind, let's take a look at the Common App prompts, and then we'll get into even more examples.
The 2023-2024 Common Application Essay Prompts
First, we should start out by looking at the Common Application essay prompts. Sometimes the prompts change slightly from year to year, but they tend to remain fairly similar.
The Common App essay prompts are just that. Prompts. They prompt you to write an essay by giving you a place to start. They ask questions to help you reflect on important moments in your life. You only have to choose one prompt to answer.
Here they are, listed in the order provided by the Common App:
- Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
- The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
- Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
- Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?
- Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
- Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
- Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
The prompts cover a range of topics that’s broad enough to let you write about just about anything.
But let us let you in on a little secret: how you answer the Common Application prompt matters less than the quality of the essay you write. After all, you can always choose the open-ended Prompt #7 option.
So our advice is to start with the essay and then choose a prompt to fit. Identifying a topic that resonates with you, regardless of the prompt, will produce the best essay possible. (And if you need some guidance about how to choose a Common App essay topic, check out our college essay writing guide .)
3 Tips for Writing Your Common Application Essay
Overall, your Common App essay should be the centerpiece of your college application. It should work to tie together your cohesive application narrative , and it should give admissions officers a genuine sense of who you are. Let's take a look at a few specific tips for writing a good Common App essay.
Write about a meaningful topic.
Think about the purpose of a Common App essay. It’s really your one chance to communicate directly with your admissions officers. Sure, your application has all your grades and classes and activities, but none of those things is actually you. The Common App essay exists so you can tell admissions officers information they can’t find anywhere else in your application. Think of it like a poetic introduction to who you are. Because you only have 650 words to make your impression, your essay should get straight to it. Choose a topic that reflects something deeply meaningful to who you are.
Write about a strength.
If your Common App essay is like an introduction, then you also want to make a good impression. That means that your essay should communicate one of your core strengths . Maybe you're the most compassionate person in the world. Maybe you’re so inventive that you can make anything out of a paperclip and a rock. Or maybe you’re so wise that everyone comes to you for advice. Whatever strength makes you who you are, let it shine through in your Common Application essay.
Pay attention to the structure of your essay.
As you’ll see in the “Bad” Common App Essay Examples section below, unorganized essays are hard to read. Admissions officers read hundreds to thousands of applications in a single year, so they go through them fast. That means that your essay needs to grab their attention and easily guide them through your narrative. Try your best to organize your ideas in a way that logically draws your reader through the story you’re telling.
Now keep those tips in mind as we go through each of these example essays.
Best Common App Essay Examples
There’s no single correct way to write a Common App essay, but the best ones grab your attention and keep it. They raise interesting questions, stories, and solutions. Writers reflect meaningfully on important topics, and they do so with a kind of elegance that’s hard to pinpoint. Writers use specific details and examples to set the scene. The best essays have narratives cohere perfectly and guide readers seamlessly through the story at hand.
Reading outstanding Common App essays can help you know what to aim for. Not every winning Common App essay has to look like the ones in this section, but they’ll give you a place to get started.
In particular, take note of the admissions officers’ comments and begin thinking about how you can apply these lessons to your own Common App essay.
Example #2: Board Game Family
Common App Prompt #1
“Professor Plum in the kitchen with the candlestick!”(( Opening with dialogue can be a risky choice, especially if it distracts the reader instead of drawing them in. But this essay uses opening dialogue as an effective hook to compel the reader to read on.)) My sister triumphed. I begrudgingly set down my clue tracker and opened the CONFIDENTIAL envelope. Indeed, her theory was correct. The thing about growing up in a board game family is that you quickly learn how to be a sore loser. In my home, countless sibling wars have been waged over an unjust hand of Gin Rummy or an out-of-bounds toe in Twister. But what I lack in sibling sportsmanship I make up for in wits. Playing board games with my family has taught me that the key to winning any game is resilience, sound strategy, and a little bit of charm(( This introduction has some fun language. And with this sentence, the writer gets straight to the heart of their essay. )) .
Candy Land was my gateway game, and it remains one of my favorites to play with my younger siblings. The game itself is simple: pick a card and move to the corresponding color on the board. First one to King Candy’s Castle wins. But, like life, the journey to the castle is full of setbacks. One unlucky draw, and you’ll lose half your progress. Having made many journeys up Candy Mountain, I grew accustomed to these setbacks. As I entered high school, I began facing real-world roadblocks that threatened to send me ten steps backward. My family moved towns, and the transition proved difficult. I felt behind in the new curriculum and lonely at a new school. Establishing a Board Game club helped me find friends and start my journey back toward Candy Castle.
As I grew older, I gravitated toward more difficult games like Risk. Unlike Candy Land, Risk requires strategy. Sure, randomly conquering territories might get you somewhere, but I learned that the most successful crusades are those that feature careful planning. Risk takes up our entire kitchen table, and we’ll play for hours at a time. My brother and I like to establish secret ententes. With whispered asides and unnoticed bathroom breaks, we work together to ensure victory. And when something doesn’t go our way, we revise our strategy and prepare for the next round. Risk isn’t just about taking risks–it’s about learning when to act, what to do, and who to align yourself with. It’s a lesson that applies to life outside the kitchen table, too.
While I’ve learned from every game I’ve played, the most impactful has been Scrabble(( This excerpt shows great personality, reflection, and personal growth.)) . When I started studying for the SATs, my family took up Scrabble. At first, Scrabble almost broke us. Dictionaries were slammed shut, points miscalculated, and tiles mysteriously lost. But with each new game, the board set anew, we remembered our mission: to help me practice vocabulary. With this fresh perspective, we began to work together. Instead of playing to win, we played to challenge each other and ourselves. For every non-word word I put on the board, I had to plead my case. Arguments like “Ahot” is synonymous with cold because of the root “a,” meaning “without” and “Truc” is a fun French word that we should have anglicized a long time ago anyway earned me both eyerolls and points. The more charming I was, the more sound my defense became, and the more likely my family was to concede. Together, we made our own rules and unforgettable memories.
I’ve summited Candy Mountain thousands of times and founded more countries than I can count. Our Scrabble games don’t look like everyone else’s, but these moments around my kitchen table, filled with laughter and rivalries, white lies and trusted alliances, are ones I will always cherish. They have made me into the thoughtful and strategic person I am today. More importantly, they’ve taught me that there’s a lot to learn when you’re having fun(( The writer concludes with this intentional reflection that leaves no question in the reader’s mind about what the main takeaway from the essay should be.)) .
AO Notes on Board Game Family
This essay takes a fun topic, board games, and turns it into a fun college essay. Most importantly, the writer doesn’t spend too much time focusing on the games themselves. Instead, they use the games as a way to talk about themself. That’s the key in an essay like this.
Why this essay stands out:
- Humor: We get a strong sense of the writer’s personality through their humor. It’s okay to show some personality in your college essays!
- Meaning : Through each of these stories, we learn a lot about the writer’s family background. There’s a clear picture of what their home looked like growing up, so we can easily see how they developed into who they are today.
- Action steps: The writer doesn’t just describe fun family game nights. They explicitly connect these game nights to their determination as a player, sibling, and student. We see the steps they took to make new friends, win alongside their brother, and study for the SATs.
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Example #3: The Bowl That Taught Me Not to Quit
Common App Prompt #2
The clay felt cold against my skin as my knees hugged the wheel for dear life(( With this opening, we jump right into the writer’s emotions. They don’t have to tell us explicitly what they’re feeling—we can feel that they are anxious from their description alone. It’s a wonderful example of “show, not tell.”)) . Don’t. Fall. Over. I begged the clay to stay put. In the back of my mind, I heard the instructor saying, “The clay will mirror what you do. If you are steady, the clay will be steady.” I planted my feet firmly on the floor and stared my bowl-to-be dead in the eye.
My journey as a ceramicist began as many journeys do: with a scolding from my mother. She said that I was wasting my summer. I needed a hobby. Flipping through the community center catalog, my gaze landed on Ceramics 101: Beginners. I decided to take on the wheel.
Soon, I was captivated. For the last three thousand years, ceramicists have been throwing clay to create pottery that is quicker to make and more reliable than hand-crafted pottery. This past summer, as I developed my pottery skills, I learned about more than clay. I learned about myself.
To start any project, there’s the matter of choosing which clay to use. When it came time for my first throw, I chose stoneware clay for its durability. I grabbed a slab, dabbed it with water, and tossed it on the wheel, just as the teacher had instructed. My foot gently pressed the wheel’s pedal, a vehicle for which I was certainly not licensed. Covered in wet clay, I pressed my hands against the slab, trying to shape it. But it wobbled(( And here we have the main conflict: things did not go as expected. As readers, we ask ourselves: what will the writer do now?)) . It spun completely out of control. I had clay in my hair and up my sleeves. My project, it seemed, was already ruined.
While I didn’t expect to be a ceramics savant, I did expect to make it through the first class without a mud bath. I felt like a failure as I watched all the other students, whose clay was taking shape on gracefully spinning wheels. I was embarrassed. I wanted to quit. And I was used to quitting, having never been able to hold down an extracurricular activity throughout high school(( With this simple sentence, we learn that the writer has struggled with overcoming challenges in the past. )) . Cutting my losses would be quicker than cleaning the clay from my clothes, so I began to wipe off my hands and pack up my things. The instructor approached me, explaining that what had just happened was perfectly normal. She urged me to try again. I didn’t want to, but her presence made me stay.
For the rest of the class, the instructor hovered by my wheel. She was ready to lend a hand when necessary. She was my safety net, and I felt more confident to continue. I squeezed my clay out and down with the care of a first-time mom. It began to look more like a bowl and less like a mound of dirt. As I watched the bowl come into being, I felt tears prick my eyes. I felt silly for crying at something so simple, but it wasn’t so simple after all. A bowl materialized from my bare hands, all because I didn’t quit.
Quitting(( This paragraph has wonderful reflection.)) is easy, and I’ve taken the easy road more times than I can count. But it ended the day of that ceramics class. If you leave clay untended, it will dry out and become useless. Before ceramics, I hadn’t been tending to myself. I grew dry, cracking under the weight of any external pressures. But my teacher taught me that a little more persistence, time, and effort can yield something beautiful and useful.
When my bowl was done, I carried it to the shelf to be fired. The instructor explained that she’d put our projects in the kiln, and we could pick them up at our next class. I returned the following week and saw my bowl sitting on my wheel. It was imperfect but sturdy, messy yet intricate. It was exactly right. I set it aside and grabbed another block of clay, foot hovering over the pedal(( This conclusion ties up the essay with a bow. It calls back to the beginning and emphasizes that the writer will keep overcoming whatever obstacles arise.)) .
AO Notes on The Bowl that Taught Me Not to Quit
In this essay, the writer goes on a journey learning to do ceramics. We see that they experience failure but can learn from it. Their strengths of creativity and resilience shine through.
- Positive spin: Writing college essays about challenges is difficult because it’s easy to get wrapped up in hardship. But this essay does a great job moving on from the failure and focusing on the lessons learned.
- Explaining an underwhelming resume: It happens so quickly that you might miss it if you blink, but this writer very subtly explains why they don’t have many resume items . Accounting for an insufficient resume in this way comes across as taking responsibility rather than making excuses. We also see that the writer has learned from these challenges and is moving forward in a new direction.
Example #4: ENFP
Common App Prompt #6
“You know how whenever you want to plan out your weekend there are too many fun things to do and too many people to do them with? And how it’s impossible to commit to doing anything next Saturday, let alone next month? What if something even more exciting comes up? Ugh!”
“I have literally no idea what you’re talking about. That sounds stressful.”
My friend’s response confused me.
“Stressful!? It’s fun! And stressful. But mostly fun.”
We’ve all had realizations that remind us we are not the same as the people around us(( After that fun introduction, this sentence brings our attention directly to the main point of the essay.)) . Our brains and our tendencies are ours, and they aren’t necessarily shared by others–even close friends and family.
This conversation was one of those times. I was a sophomore and truly did not consider that my peers would follow routines, carefully planning out their weekends while I relied on vibes, group texts, and parental reminders of homework to get me through. Every day is a new experience and I wake up energized for the excitement of a new beginning. Fun, right?
Apparently, some people find my way stressful.
The first week of junior year, my English teacher surprised us with a test. Not an academic one–she administered the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. I didn’t know what that meant, but she explained it was a personality assessment. Then she looked directly at me and pointed.
“YOU! YOU are an ENFP!”
I’d been called a lot of things, but this was a new one. She was absolutely certain that this string of meaningless letters described me. As if anyone could possibly define me!
Sure enough, I took the assessment and got my results. E-N-F-P. Extraverted-iNtuitive-Feeling-Perceiving. I learned that each variable was one of two possibilities that describe people’s preferences about how they interact with their external and internal world. Each person exists on a spectrum between each set of variables.
I was pretty extreme on all four. Suddenly, I understood why people said I had a “big personality”.
This was just the start of my journey into psychology to better understand myself and others(( This paragraph ties together the personality test story with the writer’s personal journey of seeing the world through new perspectives.)) . I knew I was an extrovert–that was the easy one. But now I felt like I had language to explain why my arguments in debate were naturally grounded in emotion (common for Feeling types) rather than the data of a Thinker. I understood why my Judgment (J, rather than P) friends couldn’t stand my inability to commit to a plan. I needed to Perceive all of my options before committing to just one of them.
I delved into writers, psychologists, and researchers like Adam Grant, Dan Pink, Malcolm Gladwell, and Gretchen Rubin. I even embraced my own (very ENFP) preference to listen to their audiobooks rather than read in quiet solitude. I listen to books with one ear bud in while walking around my small town. That way I can learn while staying open to meeting a new friend, stopping by a shop, or petting a cute dog.
My INTJ friend didn’t understand how I could listen to a book while actively striking up conversations with strangers. To each their own.
Part of learning about myself was understanding that I love to learn about how people think and form habits. What works for one person doesn’t necessarily work for another. That is true for planning a weekend, maintaining relationships, or even writing a college essay.
I want to study psychology (and about 100 other subjects) and create a career where I can help people understand themselves and build positive habits around who they are(( I like how the writer connects these relations to their academic and career goals.)) , rather than try to change themselves to fit the expectations of others. Sure, maybe that will lead me to become a psychologist. But I think teachers, doctors, writers, and business leaders have an opportunity to do this as well.
All I know for sure is that, just like each new day, college is the next adventure. I’m excited to see what happens.
AO Notes on ENFP
Most of us know about personality tests, but this writer is able to make the topic a deeply personal one. We learn about their personality and habits. We learn about how they interact with others. Overall, the topic really helps us see the world from their perspective.
- Creative topic: The topic itself isn’t one an admissions officer will see every day. But it’s not so out-there that it comes across as hokey.
- Perspective: Admissions officers appreciate when students can see the world from perspectives other than their own. This writer shows a lot of maturity when explaining how their personality test sparked a realization that they don’t see the world the same way their friends do.
- Connections to future goals: The writer doesn’t just present the topic without speaking to its greater meaning. They show that personality tests are meaningful to them because they are related to an academic interest in psychology.
Example #5: Warhammer 40k Miniatures
Carefully(( This introduction has great vivid language.)) dipping the microscopic end of my horse hair brush into the pot of citadel paint, I can feel my excitement building. Gunmetal grey—my favorite primer color. Next comes the white and gold highlights that edge the armor. I'm about to bring one of my favorite Orcs to life, adding tactful details and shading to his green skin and menacing scowl. This is my passion, my obsession: painting Warhammer 40k miniatures.
Now, I’m well aware of the reputation Warhammer has—nerdy. As a tabletop miniature war game set in a dystopian future(( The writer subtly explains this hobby just in case admissions officers aren’t familiar with it.)) , players collect and paint miniatures to represent their armies. They then battle it out on a tabletop strewn with miniature trees, structures, and other terrains. I've been a fan of the game for years, but it's the painting that I love most. There’s something about taking a tiny, unpainted model and turning it into a work of art that I find incredibly satisfying. Nerd, guilty as charged.
I've always been drawn to the Orcs in particular, with their sheer strength and ferocity. But lately, I've been getting more into the Necrons, these ancient, robotic warriors that have been resurrected after millions of years of dormancy. And let's not forget the noble Tau, with their advanced technology and futuristic design. The story of each people goes deep, too. There are dozens of books written about the broader universe of Warhammer—a shared world that spans tens of thousands of years of lore. I’ve read almost every one of them. No matter the character I’m painting, no matter the story they’ll take place in, I watch in awe as each brushstroke brings the character to life in front of my eyes.
As my obsession with miniature painting has grown, I've started entering painting competitions(( This detail shows the magnitude and impact of the activity.)) . It's nerve-wracking showing off my work to a panel of judges, but it's also incredibly rewarding when they appreciate my hard work. I’ve received accolades and even small prizes for my artistry. After every competition, I choose my favorite miniature to display on a shelf in my room. I still have some of the earliest miniatures on my shelf, looking a little rough around the edges but still serving as a reminder of where I started.
But painting miniatures isn't just a hobby for me; it's also been a gateway for other forms of art. I've started dabbling in oil painting, using the same attention to detail and skillful brushwork that I use on my miniatures. While making the transition to a new medium has been challenging, I’ve slowly I’ve built a small collection of paintings. Some of them are as epic as my miniatures—depictions of battles and important moments from the 40k universe. But others are more tranquil, like a recent landscape I painted for my mom’s birthday of the stream behind our house(( We also learn how the writer’s obsession has expanded to other areas of their life. I like this detail because it’s an endearing story of the writer making art for their mom.)) . Becoming more dynamic with my art has made me a better artist, which has in turn made my miniatures even more lifelike.
Warhammer has been the biggest portal into a world of imagination and creativity. But it’s also unlocked my belief in myself as someone capable of succeeding in art(( And here it is—a central point of the essay. Painting these miniatures isn’t just about the miniatures. It’s also about the writer’s growth as an artist.)) . I’ve transcended the level of hobbyist and, over the years I’ve been painting, I’ve learned to call myself an artist. That title is a lot to carry, but it’s one that I can’t wait to continue growing into, figure by figure, painting by painting. And I can’t wait to bring the world of 40k to my dorm—sharing the universe with my friends and classmates. You’ll know where to find me. Just look for the nerdy artist with the dense wooden play table, toting around an army of skeletal warriors and hulking orcs. I can’t wait to share my world with you.
AO Notes on Warhammer 40k Miniatures
This essay is a great example of how to write about a hobby in a college essay. Notice how the writer explains their hobby in vivid detail, but the core of the essay is still about the writer themself.
- Vivid details: Personal statements can be wonderful exercises in creative writing. While that can be difficult for some students, this writer did it exactly right.
- Narrative structure: The writer seamlessly transitions readers between each paragraph. They slowly reveal how their journey has progressed. And, most importantly, they incorporate loads of good reflection.
- Personal meaning: It’s clear that Warhammer itself is meaningful to the writer. But I also like how they draw the focus inward to discuss how painting miniatures “unlocked” a belief in themself.
Example #6: The Band
Common App Prompt #5
I always imagined my band’s first show would take place on a stage. Maybe not in front of a packed amphitheater, but a stage. One with lights, a sound system, a curtain behind it, and some mixture of friends, family, and strangers ready to hear us play.
But there I was, holding a guitar in the women’s section of JC Penney at the mall(( This sentence is so unexpected that it’s sure to make most admissions officers stop, do a double take, and chuckle.)) . We fumbled through a cover of “Mr. Brightside” while middle-aged women shopped for sundresses.
Not exactly what I had in mind.
Our drummer’s mom managed the shoe section at JC Penney and said her boss wanted a creative way to get younger people excited about shopping there. She suggested that her son’s band would be perfect for this opportunity. They paid us in pizza and asked us to perform for two hours–a tall order for four high school sophomores who knew about five and a half songs.
It wasn’t evident to us that we would learn anything from our musical endeavors, or that our music would take us beyond the local mall. I’ve always known writing and performing pop-rock songs isn’t a likely career path. But a recent late night conversation with my bandmates-turned-best-friends showed us all how much we have grown and learned through music(( This reflection is great.)) . What started as a way to spend time with friends on a hobby turned into an accidental entrepreneurial venture and surprisingly poignant lessons.
For one thing, writing music with others is hard. Getting four new musicians to agree on everything from tempo to lyrics to how many verses each song should have isn’t easy. We figured it out as we went along, fueled by copious amounts of Mountain Dew and Bagel Bites.
We eventually created a system where each member learned the lyrics to each song and at least one other person’s part. Sharing original lyrics–poetry–between friends is uncomfortable. But we became more cohesive once everyone was on the same page with the story we were telling. When the bass player, who can’t play drums, learned just enough to understand that the kick drum hits on beats 1 and 3 and the snare on the 2 and 4, our rhythm section began to play more in sync. Once our drummer got over his fear of singing, we were able to incorporate simple harmonies, which led to him improving our lyrics.
Most surprising was making money and feeling like we were running a small (very small) business(( By expanding the focus to talk about music as a business venture, the writer also shows the extent of their activity’s impact.)) . Our second show after the infamous JC Penney incident was a battle of the bands at the public pool that June. We placed fourth–no prize. By August, we played another battle of the bands and won first place, largely thanks to our efforts to publicize the event to everyone in our network (some might call it begging our friends to come). To our surprise, we won $800 on one of those comically large checks.
We decided to allocate some of the money to equipment we needed–cables, cymbal stands, and more Bagel Bites–and put the rest towards professional recording. The process of contacting local studios, negotiating rates, and working with professionals in the industry was completely new to all of us.
A year before, we thought agreeing on lyrics was tough. But the sonic experience of hearing your own music back and agreeing on the tone and effects of every instrument can bring out differences you didn’t know existed. I’d read about arguments between bands from the Beatles to Kings of Leon, and now the four of us had to work out our differences together in real time. Thankfully, we navigated that challenge without losing our sanity for more than a few brief moments.
I am grateful for the lessons we have learned over the past three years(( And with this conclusion, the writer really drives home the essay’s main theme.)) . Not only do we have music and memories to show for our efforts, but we have all learned about creative collaboration, budgeting, and marketing our art.
AO Notes on The Band
This essay makes me want to sing! It’s full of personality, but it still manages to be vulnerable and reflective. By the conclusion , we really see what the writer has learned from being in a band.
- Humor: The writer immediately draws us in with an introduction that is funny, surprising, and full of personality. The introduction alone makes me want to keep reading. And right as we’re through the introduction, the writer drives home their main point: they learned a lot through music. Then, to our delight, the humor continues throughout. It’s subtle enough to keep our attention and not be overwhelming or inauthentic.
- Strengths: I can see that the writer is very collaborative and entrepreneurial. I also like how they give insight into their relationship with their friends and bandmates—we learn a lot about them through their interactions with others.
- Accomplishments: This essay is a solid example of how to write about accomplishments in a personal and meaningful way. The writer could have just opened with the accomplishments, but that wouldn’t have been very interesting or vulnerable. By nesting those accomplishments within a broader story about music, the writer is able to convey greater meaning.
Good Common App Essay Examples
If you’re feeling intimated by all the outstanding essays you’ve seen online, fear not. You don’t have to have a Pulitzer to get into college.
What you do need is a good, meaningful essay, even if it’s not perfect. The essays in this section represent what the majority of Common App essays look like. They aren’t necessarily perfect, but they’re written strategically and with verve. You can tell that their writers genuinely care about the essay they’ve been tasked with.
Putting in a similar effort with your own Common App essay will get you far. Let’s take a look.
Example #7: Herb
I stood in the dimly lit garage, staring at the child-sized pile of metal and wires in front of me. I couldn't help but feel a sense of awe. This was our creation(( This introduction reveals the product of the journey the writer is about to go on: building a robot.)) , a robot that my father and I had spent months designing and building with meticulous care.
It all started on a slow Sunday afternoon, when my dad suggested we take on a new project. He wanted to build a robot. At first, I was hesitant. I was skeptical that we had the know-how to even construct the body of the robot, much less one that actually worked. But my dad, a tinkerer and inventor, was determined to try. So we got everything set up in the garage and got to work. As it turns out, building a robot wouldn’t just improve our technical abilities. It would bring us closer together along the way.
Before this project, my dad and I tended to argue and disagree(( I appreciate this clear transition and description of the “before” state that the writer and their father are growing from.)) . But in the garage with our robot materials, we were both so invested in building the robot that we collaborated perfectly. We bounced ideas off each other, read books and online forums, and even got advice from friends who were more experienced in robotics. For what seemed like the first time, my dad thought of me as an equal. Usually I was just there to hand him wrenches and screwdrivers as he worked on his latest creation. This time was different. We were a team. And with each passing day, our robot began to come alive.
We spent months in the garage, building and troubleshooting. My dad worked on the mechanics. He carefully assembled the joints and servos that would give the robot its movement. While he did that, I focused on the design. I drew mock-ups on my iPad and researched different exterior materials to use. I clumsily constructed our prototypes before my dad helped me put all the pieces together.
The final result was a beautiful machine. It was almost four feet tall and towered over our family dog. And it actually worked. The exterior gleamed—the sensors we used added visual flair and extreme function. But the most impressive aspect of our robot was its artificial intelligence system, which we had spent weeks programming and refining together. It was still fairly rudimentary as far as robots go, but we were proud of such a major accomplishment.
We decided to name our creation Herb, after my father’s beloved herb garden. We liked the irony of mixing a machine with a garden. He was perfect.
After working on him for months, it was time to enter Herb into a local show for machine enthusiasts. Our entry was accepted(( This detail also shows the magnitude of their accomplishment.)) . The show will take place next spring, so my dad and I are polishing Herb’s exterior, tweaking bugs that arise in his artificial intelligence, and preparing him for his out-of-garage debut.
While I’m proud that we will finally get to show Herb off to the world, what I’m more proud of is how far my father and I have come. Working on Herb brought us closer together, and the process helped my dad see me as a fellow tinkerer and inventor rather than just an assistant. In our garage, as we constructed something entirely un-human, we found the human in ourselves. Our father-son love came to life through a robot. I wouldn’t trade it for anything(( I really like this poetic conclusion that neatly ties together the essay’s theme.)) .
AO Notes on Herb:
This essay is an endearing story about how the writer’s relationship with their father improved while working on a robot together. We learn a lot about the student and their interests as we accompany them on this journey.
What makes this essay good:
- Organization: There’s some back and forth with narrative and reflection in this essay that gives it a pretty complex structure. But the writer does an awesome job keeping readers on track by using very clear signposting. Phrases like “before this project” and “after working on him for months” help readers navigate the complexity.
- Reflection: The writer incorporates great reflection throughout. The third paragraph shows us the “before state” that the writer is growing from, and by the end of the essay, we really see where they’ve ended up mentally, emotionally, and personally.
What the writer could do to level up:
- More focus on the writer : While this essay isn’t too bad about this, there is some room for improvement. The main descriptive parts of the essay all focus on the robot. We do learn about the writer and their goals through these descriptions. But the essay is approaching being too much about the robot and not enough about the writer.
Example #8: Laughter & Acceptance
"Why was the transgender person so bad at math? Because they always had to trans-late equations!"
Okay, okay, that was a terrible joke. But let me tell you, finding self-acceptance as a transgender person ain't no joke. It's a struggle, a battle, a war. But it's a war that can be won, and I'm here to tell you how(( From the start, we get a clear sense of the writer’s personality. This sentence also tells us exactly what the essay is about.)) .
I grew up in a world that told me being trans was wrong, that it was something to be ashamed of. And I believed it. I tried to hide who I was, to pretend like I was someone else. But it was like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It just didn't work.
But then something happened. I don't know what it was—maybe a shift in the universe, maybe a sign from God. But something changed, and I realized that I couldn't keep living a lie. I had to be true to myself, regardless of what misery and consequences that might bring down around my head.
After telling my younger sister, who cried tears of joy and support, bless her, I decided to come out to the rest of my family. Let me tell you, it was not pretty. They didn't understand what I meant. They told me I was going to hell, that I was a disgrace to our family. And it hurt, oh man it hurt. But through the pain I saw a glimmer of something—was that hope?(( The writer does an excellent job reflecting and taking the “more phoenix, less ashes” approach.)) For the first time, I was being honest with myself and with the world. The whips and lashes of my parents’ words were more painful than I could have anticipated, but I left the room with my head held up and a barely-perceptible feeling of lightness around my shoulders.
And that's when the real work began. See, coming out is one thing, but accepting yourself is another. It's not easy, trust me. It's like trying to walk on a tightrope, one wrong step and you're a gonner. But I didn't give up, I kept going.
And you know what? It started to get easier. I started to find people who accepted me for who I was, who supported me and loved me. I started to feel confident in my own skin. And it was a good feeling—a great feeling. The best feeling.
But my life isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. There are still moments every day when I feel down, when the weight of the world feels like it's crushing me. But even in those moments, I've learned to find strength in myself, to remind myself that I am worthy and deserving of love and respect.
And that's what self-acceptance is all about. No one can avoid feeling sad, angry, or frustrated all the time. But if those feelings only crop up now and again? You’re doing pretty good. Most of all, it’s about letting those negative emotions pass when they come, roll over you like a wave before they go on their way. It's about laughing at the absurdity of it all(( With this philosophy, we really see how much the writer has grown.)) , and finding joy and humor in the midst of the pain.
So, dear reader(( Addressing your reader in a college essay is a pretty risky stylistic choice that we would generally advise against.)) , if you're struggling with self-acceptance, you're not alone. I’m there with you. And remember: it's okay to laugh at yourself, to find the humor in the situation. It's not always easy, but it's worth it. Because when you can accept yourself, you can be proud of who you are, and that's something to be truly grateful for. Tell a joke about yourself and laugh it off. You’ll feel better, I promise(( I like these sentiments, but they could be more focused on the writer instead of the reader.)) .
AO Notes on Laughter & Acceptance
This essay does a wonderful job maintaining sight of the writer’s strengths and positivity in light of really tough challenges. The writer isn’t afraid to be vulnerable. Because of that, we learn a lot about them.
- Authenticity : I’d guess that this essay couldn’t have been written by anyone other than its writer. Its voice is so clear and authentic that I truly feel like the writer is talking straight to me. Since Common App essays are one of the only places where you get to speak straight to an admissions officer, authenticity is key.
- Positivity : Let’s face it. This essay is about a really serious topic that was clearly challenging for the writer. But what makes it so great is that in spite of all the challenges, the writer is able to find positivity and light. They don’t dwell on the hardships but look forward to the future. That’s exactly what a college essay about a challenging topic should do.
- Tone : Balancing your personal tone and voice with the conventions of Common App essay writing can be tricky. It’s hard to predict how an admissions officer will react to what you write. Some might love the fact that this essay truly sounds like the student who wrote it, while others might be put off by its informality. The writer could clean up just a few areas of informal language to play it a little safer.
Example #9: The Old iPhone
Common App Prompt #3
I unscrewed the tiny Phillips-head screws and wedged open my iPhone 5. I cringed as the material cracked out of place. Despite my nervousness, I felt curious. I had always been fascinated by technology and machines, but this was the first time I had ever taken apart a device as complex as an iPhone.
And it wasn’t just any iPhone. It was my very first—my most prized possession until I bought my new phone a few months ago. Since then, it had been sitting in the back of my desk drawer, collecting dust and taking up space. I just didn’t have the heart to sell, recycle, or trade it in. On a day when my ADHD was particularly affecting me, I decided to tinker with my phone to calm myself down.
Working with machines and technology had become my biggest strategy for dealing with my ADHD on those difficult days(( This is an excellent transition.)) . I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was thirteen. I’d been struggling to pay attention in class, and my teachers and parents thought it would be best to get me tested. After I started taking medication, my symptoms improved a lot. But the whole process made me feel like something was off about the way my brain worked naturally. That’s why on the days my medication just isn’t cutting it I center myself by playing with machinery and technology. Even though I can’t fully understand my brain, I can understand a machine. Sometimes that knowledge is enough to get me back on track.
At my desk while disassembling the phone, I carefully removed each piece and set them aside on a bathroom hand towel beside me. I felt calm and focused. As someone with ADHD, it can be difficult for me to concentrate on a single task. But with every part I removed, my mind grew more and more focused. I didn’t feel pulled to passing thoughts and distractions like I normally do.
Working on the phone was like meditating. The parts were so small and delicate that it took all of my attention not to lose or break any. As I examined each component, I thought about all the hard work that goes into designing, manufacturing, and selling the millions of iPhones sold each year.
Taking apart the iPhone improved my technical knowledge, but it was more than that. It also helped me to understand my own mind in a new way(( This is an important shift back to the writer’s own experience. If it weren’t here, the essay would be too much about the iPhone and not enough about the writer.)) . While working my way through this small but magnificent machine, I realized that I could think of my own brain as a kind of machine. It has a complex network of circuits and pathways that control my thoughts and actions. It requires energy to work. It is made up of smaller components that allow it to function. I can’t tinker around with my brain, but I can appreciate it for the incredible machine that it is. I just need to learn more about how my brain works and adapt accordingly.
In many ways, my ADHD has always felt like a kind of malfunction, like something is wrong with me. But as I took apart the iPhone, I began to see that even the most advanced technology isn’t perfect—there’s dust and glitches and grime and bugs. And just as Apple does software updates and new product releases to improve the iPhone, I can find ways to improve how I function with my own brain(( With this comment, the essay ends on a very positive and hopeful note—exactly what you want in a college essay. )) .
AO Notes on My Old iPhone
In this essay, the writer describes how tinkering with an iPhone affected their personal journey with ADHD. I especially like how the writer takes two quite different topics and weaves them together seamlessly.
- Creative take: The core of this essay topic is a good one. The writer uses a hobby to talk about a deeper personal topic they’re wrestling with. As a result, we learn quite a bit about both.
- Strengths: We always say that you should write your college essays around core strengths. This writer does exactly that. As readers, we can tell that the writer is a problem-solver. They figured out a way to help themselves when their medication wasn’t working, and they also used that activity to do some reflection.
- Personal meaning: The writer could have just written about how they tinker with machines to help with their ADHD. But they went beyond that. They reflect more deeply on what the experience of having ADHD means to them.
- More connections: This essay is quite good. But as a reader, I’m still left wondering why the writer is drawn to tinkering and machines in the first place. It seems like there is room for the student to write a bit more about how the activity resonates with them personally.
Example #10: My Partner in Music
Built from a dark, mocha-colored wood and strung with the best strings my mom could afford, my viola has been with me through a lot. The first time I held the instrument in my hands, I knew it was made just for me. Sure, my viola had had previous owners. But they were only caring for it until it made its way home. My instrument is who I spend the most time with, who I know the closest, and who I’ve invested so much time in. With my viola, I’ve experienced my greatest accomplishments.
I come from a family of prodders rather than pushers(( This paragraph and the following dive too deeply into the writer’s past without making clear why the information is necessary to the narrative.)) . My loved ones have never pushed me to do anything, but I’ve been prodded in certain directions. At a mere year old, I began swim lessons. At age two, I took up soccer. At two and a half, I experimented with gymnastics. None of those activities ever stuck. But my true calling came at age three when my parents started me on viola lessons.
At first, I struggled to even hold my tiny, almost toy-like viola in place. Barely able to hold my own fork for dinner, I wrestled to place my fingers correctly on the fingerboard. When it was finally time for me to use my bow, it kept falling under its own weight, my small arm not strong enough to balance it.
But I was enthralled by the sounds I was able to make. I watched in awe as my teacher conjured up the most beautiful music I’d ever heard from her instrument. Unlike swimming, soccer, and gymnastics, music made sense to me. The ability to make something so engaging from wood and metal captured my attention.
When I got my new instrument, I had been playing the viola for exactly twelve years. Between the age of three and fifteen, my skills had grown exponentially. All those nights and weekends practicing, the blisters, and the hours and hours of lessons had paid off.
This past year, I earned a spot in the American Youth Symphony, one of the most prestigious youth symphonies in the world(( It’s not until this paragraph that we get to the heart of the essay: the writer’s big accomplishment, and the challenges they overcome to get there.)) . With the symphony’s minimum age of fifteen and average age in the early twenties, I’m one of the youngest musicians in the ensemble.
It wasn’t always so clear that playing viola was my destiny. When I was a sophomore in high school, I auditioned for my regional youth symphony. I had practiced my solo for months. I had played the piece so many times that it practically became part of me. With an imaginary metronome ticking away inside of me, my fingers knew exactly how to race across my strings, and my bow hand followed along in perfect time.
When it came time for my regional orchestra audition, however, the song completely vanished. I walked up to the stage, judges behind a partition. I sat down, brought my viola up to my chin, and froze. What had been muscle memory evaporated into thin air, and I was left with a blank mind and a silent instrument. I panicked, unsure of what to do.
I stared down at the scroll of my instrument and took a deep breath. We had played this piece a thousand times. We were ready. Most importantly, I wasn’t doing this alone. My viola and I were in it together. I raised my bow to the strings and began. The song emerged from my fingers, bow, and instrument. It was beautiful. It was perfect. That audition earned me regional first chair, and I learned a valuable lesson: I have to believe in myself(( And here we get to the theme of the essay. It’s not just about the viola. It’s about the writer—a musician.)) .
Now, as a member of the American Youth Symphony, I return to this lesson every day. It’s easy to get intimated when you’re playing alongside the country’s best young musicians. But, with my viola in hand, I know that I am a musician, too.
AO Notes on My Partner in Music
This writer tells us about their prized instrument. But the essay isn’t just about the instrument. It’s about the writer. The essay does an excellent job detailing a challenge the writer overcame. By the end, we see that the writer has grown and has achieved a huge accomplishment.
- Contextualizing a great achievement: The writer’s strengths shine through in this essay because of their achievement. But throughout the essay, we also see that the writer has had to work hard to get to where they’re at today. That context adds great dimension to our understanding of them.
- Voice: Through all the events that happen in this essay, the writer’s voice remains consistent. They have a solid tone that shows their work ethic and unwillingness to give up.
- Get to the main idea quicker: Notice how the first few paragraphs of this essay are simple setup. We learn a lot about who the student was as a child before we get to the heart of the essay. The central conflict doesn’t come until almost the last paragraph. In general, college essays should be primarily about things that have happened in your life since starting high school. Brief mentions of previous events are fine, but they take up a touch too much space in this essay. It takes a while for us, the readers, to really see what the essay is about.
Example #11: The Laundromat
As the son of Chinese immigrants, I grew up working in my parents' laundromat(( Sometimes straightforward “statement” hooks work. This one does the job well.)) . It wasn't glamorous, but it was a good way to earn some extra money and help out my family. Over the years, I got to know a lot of the regulars who came in to use the machines. Some were friendly, some were angry, and some were just plain weird. But one thing they all had in common was that they had stories to tell. And I learned from every single one of them.
There was Mrs. Nguyen, an older Vietnamese woman who came in every week with a small load of clothes. She always greeted me warmly and snuck me a hard strawberry candy. We mostly talked about me—my schoolwork, friends, and sports. But one day, she opened up. She told me about her experiences fleeing Vietnam in the aftermath of the war. She described the dangers she faced and the sacrifices she made to keep her family safe. I was stunned that someone I had grown so close to had experienced such a challenge. What shocked me most was Mrs. Nguyen’s kindness in spite of everything she had been through. Before learning this about Mrs. Nguyen, I let small problems like late homework and friend arguments really upset me. But hearing her story put things into perspective for me, and I’m so grateful that she felt comfortable enough to share it with me(( Perspective: always a good lesson to learn. This example shows some good maturity.)) .
Carlos came every Tuesday and Thursday. He was a thirteen-year-old who always seemed to be practicing for the spelling bee. He went to my sister’s school and was shy and quiet. But after seeing him multiple times a week, I learned that he was also incredibly smart and dedicated. He would come into the laundromat with a stack of flashcards and a dictionary, looking for somewhere quiet to practice. He’d close his eyes and mouth the letters to himself before peeking to see if he was right. After months of watching him, I finally went up to him and offered to help(( With this “show, not tell” example, we see our writer exhibiting generosity and kindness. I also like the humor and personality in the following two sentences.)) . I started quizzing him on words that I couldn’t even really pronounce myself. I relied heavily on his dictionary! But after practicing together, Carlos won his school spelling bee and eventually went on to regionals. I was so proud of him. I learned that it if you want to succeed, you have to put in the work like Carlos did. Every time I think of quitting something, I remind myself of his determination, and I keep going.
And finally, there was Gary, a nurse who worked in the emergency room at our local hospital. He was always rushing through his laundry because of his busy schedule, but he was never too busy to sit down and talk with us kids. Gary inspired my interest in pursuing medicine. He told me countless stories about what he saw in the ER. But what I always appreciated most was when he would explain the science behind what was happening. Gary was a talented teacher who could always break down complex concepts into something even a kid could understand. By my junior year, Gary encouraged me to take AP Chemistry and Biology and now he’s helping me look at pre-medicine programs(( Nice—we get some background about the student’s academic interests.)) . Gary has sparked in me an interest in caring for people through medicine.
I could have chosen to ignore all these people and hide away in the back of the laundromat. But instead I chose to talk with them, even though it was sometimes scary and intimidating. Being around so many people, hearing all their stories, it’s really shown me that everyone has a story to tell. More importantly, everyone can learn from those around them. I wouldn’t be who I am today without the regulars at the laundromat, and I hope I inspired them in some way too.
AO Notes on The Laundromat
In this classic “understanding self through others” essay, we get to know the writer through their interactions with others. The writer does a pretty good job walking the (sometimes dangerous) line between saying too much about others and not enough about themself.
- Personality: One of the best parts of “understanding self through others” essays is that we get to see who the writer is without them having to tell us. Through each of these small interactions, the writer—and their personality, values, beliefs—shines through.
- Maturity: This writer shows several strengths. I think one of the most salient is their maturity. The way they were able to learn from Mrs. Nguyen, help Carlos, and be inspired by Gary took a lot of maturity. As an AO, that would tell me that this student is ready for the college classroom.
- Connection to academic interests: Not all personal essays need to connect to an academic interest. Most probably don’t. But it was a natural connection for this writer, and I’m glad they made it. It raises the stakes of their interactions and leads beautifully into their conclusion.
- Streamline: With the three different examples, the essay reads a bit choppy. The writer could put better transitions in between each person, or they could weave the examples together into a cohesive narrative. Streamlining would also help emphasize the essay’s focus on the writer rather than the laundromat patrons.
“Bad” Common App Essay Examples
Okay, these essays aren’t necessarily “bad” as essays. But if we’re being honest, they’re not great Common App essays either.
That doesn’t mean that they don’t have the potential to become great Common App essays, though. As you’ll see in the notes from our Admissions Officers, these essays contain the seeds of good essays. They just need some reorganization and refinement.
Let’s take a look.
Example #11: What I’ve Learned About Life
We all know that life is short so you have to make the most of it. I always try to do my best and live every day to the fullest(( These sentences are both cliches. It’s always better to hook readers in with your own words.)) . Well, I did that until I broke my arm in 8th grade. I used to be not afraid to do anything, but it turns out that’s what got me in trouble. I was riding my bike home from school one day and saw a stump. I thought about what we talked about in English class that day. It was something about “carpe diem” and so I decided, “You know what? I’m gonna jump that stump.”(( This story makes for a good concrete example.)) And I did. Almost. My bike tire caught on the stump and flipped me over the handle bars. A bystander had to help me call my mom to take me to the hospital and it was fractured in four places pretty bad it actually hurt a lot. So after that I still learned to live every day to the fullest but I also learned that you need to make good decisions when doing so.
My mom always tells me that I need to be more patient because it’s a virtue and I am not patient at all. But I have decided that the most important thing to me is to try hard no matter what. I’ll work until the ends of the earth to prove myself because those who work hard succeed. So when I realized that I tried to listen to my mom. Now when I get impatient I take a deep breath and remember my goal of being successful and sometimes it is hard to be patient and I can get angry or frustrated but then I think about what my mom said. It’s a virtue and I want to be as virtuous as possible. My mom has worked so hard in this life to give me a better life and all I want to do is make her proud(( These are fantastic sentiments that could be drawn out more clearly.)) . I really think that’s what it means to be a good person. I’ll always work hard so I can be successful and she can watch me shine.
AO Notes on What I’ve Learned About Life
This essay, while short, gives an honest effort at conveying something deeply meaningful. I especially like the very last sentence, which tells us a lot about who the writer is as a person. But there are a few areas this essay could improve.
What this essay does well:
- Authenticity: It’s clear that the writer is discussing something very meaningful. I have no doubt that these lessons have played a big role in their life.
What could be improved on:
- Too short: The maximum word count for the Common Application essay is 650 words. We like to encourage students to get to at least 80% of the word count, which means that your Common App essays should be at least 520 words. This essay is only 361.
- The topic is too vague and full of generalities: The writer is communicating something meaningful about what they’ve learned throughout their life, but they do so only through generalities. Being too vague makes it hard for admissions officers to see who you really are. Instead, the writer could use concrete experiences and reflect specifically on how those experiences impacted them.
Example #12: Clean Slate
Common App Prompt #7
Bubbles, foam, and the sweet smell of chemicals. Shiny surfaces free of streaks and grime. I cleaned the entire house in three hours flat. I never really learned how to clean growing up, but I started seeing cleaning videos online. The cleaning videos always relax me, so I thought I’d give it a try(( This shows the writer’s initiative.)) .
First I needed to figure out what kinds of supplies to buy. After watching a few more videos, I made a list of the most commonly used items. Since I was on a limited budget, so I could only get the basics. I turned to coupons to find the best bargains possible. I bought disinfectant, a multi-purpose cleaner, and a window and mirror spray. I also found a mop, sponges, and a scrubber brush. It all cost me only fifteen dollars!
My family was shocked when I came home with these supplies in a shopping bag. They didn’t understand why I cared so much. We vacuumed and used disinfectant wipes every so often to keep things manageable, but none of us knew that you are supposed to deep clean your house every month or so until I told everyone based on what I saw online. I showed them each product I bought and told them what the purpose of each one was. They were proud of me for taking initiative and learning something new. They also couldn’t wait to see the results.
Then it was time for me to get to work. To strike inspiration, I put on another cleaning video in the background. I began with the bathroom. It was tidy, but it sure wasn’t clean. There was dust on all the surfaces, soap scum, and rust. I grabbed the disinfectant spray first because it has to sit for a while to actually disinfect. Then I used the mirror spray to clean toothpaste off the mirror. I scrubbed all the surfaces with my new sponge until they were squeaky clean. Then I moved on to the floors. My mop is a spray mop, so it was a quick job.
Next I moved on to the kitchen. That was much harder because it was more complex. There are several appliances, dishes to do, and food to put away. I wiped down the cabinets, which had a dark grime that you couldn’t even see before. I felt accomplished because I was actually cleaning. Once the kitchen was done, I moved on to the living room and the bedrooms. It took forever, but I did it(( By this point, we should have some more reflection from the writer about why this story is personally meaningful.)) .
I gave my family a tour around the house, showing them all the nooks and crannies I had cleaned. They were impressed and I felt so proud. I stood back, admiring my work. The house glistened like a diamond with cleanliness.
The next day I got up and decided to take a look around, excited to see my handiwork again. I was in shock when I stepped into the kitchen. It was a disaster. There was food and dishes everywhere. I ran to the bathroom. It wasn’t any better. There were dirty clothes and an open toothpaste tube. The baseboards already had a small bit of dust. I was devastated. All my hard work was gone just like that.
I told my family how upset I was. They understood and said that they would try to be better next time. But I also learned that that’s just how cleaning goes. You can try to keep things tidy, but we actually live in this house and sometimes that means making a mess. I hugged my family members and felt better after their apology(( I really like the picture we get of the writer here. I can tell that they are very mature and thoughtful!)) . We made up, they picked up a few things to pitch in, and I put my cleaning supplies back in the closet until next time.
AO Notes on Clean Slate
In this essay, we go on a cleaning journey with the writer. We see their successes and disappointments. We learn a bit about their family background, and we cheer them on as they overcome challenges.
- Writing and organization: This essay is well-written, and the narrative easily holds a reader’s interest. There’s a good sense of the plot, and the paragraphs are clearly organized and easy to read through.
- Strengths: We really see the writer’s initiative through this story. They did their research, got their supplies, and put their interest into action.
- More significance: While this is a fun topic, it doesn’t convey much meaning about the writer’s life. The writer could make the topic more significant by adding more reflection throughout to show explicitly how this story has changed them as a person. Or they could select a different topic that relates to something more deeply meaningful about their life.
Key Takeaways
Hopefully these Common App essay examples have shown you what to do (and what not to do). More importantly, we hope that the commentary from our former admissions officers has helped you analyze the why behind what makes an effective Common App essay.
Absorbing these lessons and applying them to your own Common Application essay will help take your writing to the next level. No matter what you write about, your goal should be to create a seamless application narrative that speaks to your strengths.
If you’re not sure what step to take next, we've got you covered. The Essay Academy — our comprehensive digital college essay course — walks you through every step. Plus, you can get personalized essay help for your own Common App essays.
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Essays About Life Challenges: Top 5 Examples and 6 Prompts
Essays about life challenges let us share our valuable experiences and lessons in life. See our top examples and prompts to assist you in writing your essay.
Life challenges envelop the obstacles we face to reach where we are now. These personal crises we had to deal with have left us with lessons we can use to grow as people and have better lives. Essays that tackle this subject help us reflect on our experiences so we can remember our failures, celebrate our successes, and appreciate our growth. You can also check out these essays about life .
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5 Essay Examples
1. african refugees life challenges by anonymous on ivypanda.com, 2. overcoming challenges in my life: dyslexia by anonymous on gradesfixer.com, 3. a self-reflection of my life challenges, motivation, and persistence to achieve my goals by terence hampton, 4. young generation’s challenges in life and career by anonymous on ivypanda.com, 5. role of challenges in identification of purposes in life by anonymous on gradesfixer.com, 1. before and after life challenges, 2. extreme life challenges and mental health, 3. the role of family when dealing with life challenges, 4. life challenges at work, 5. the different effects of life challenges, 6. overcoming life challenges.
“The refugees are allowed to live in these camps and receive emergency food and medical care until they feel it is secure enough for them to go back to their domiciles or until they are reunited with their people living out of the campers.”
This essay gives readers an insight into the everyday challenges of refugees living in a camp. The author describes their situation in detail to let the readers understand their suffering and how difficult it is to be away from their homes. The essay further includes relevant statistics and studies to showcase the astounding number of refugees worldwide, including how they became refugees.
Refugee camps still exist today, intending to relieve refugees from their challenging situations. Creating a challenging environment for many refugees living in this situation. You might be interested in these essays about cause and effect .
“As a child, I can remember when people were reassuring me that I was such a bright and outgoing kid. But there were times that I didn’t feel that way. I’ve always thought they were wrong about me and just trying to get my self-esteem up… ”
In this essay, the author shares their difficulties with having dyslexia, noting how growing up with this disability put them through overwhelming pressure and unpleasant situations that made them self-conscious. Their disability triggered many emotions that made them constantly embarrassed or panicky.
However, the writer recognizes how their disability helped them improve their communication skills and reflects on how their challenging time at school molded them into who they are today. You can also check out these essays about conflict and essays about stress .
“I refuse to let adversity crush me because that would mean that my family and I would have done all this suffering for nothing. I do not live in vain, I live for a purpose and that is to inspire people to be more than what they think they are capable of. No day is promised, but the future is always full of possibilities.”
Hampton starts this essay by recognizing how life continuously throws him challenges. Still, he decides to only reflect on the most significant impact on his character, namely, his brother’s arrest, his twin brother Dante’s disability, and his father’s death. Throughout the piece, Hampton narrates these obstacles, letting the readers know what they made him feel and how they affected him as an individual.
When he thinks back to these difficulties, he realizes what his objectives should be, encouraging him to be a better person. Hampton tells his readers that these challenges inspire him to reach his goals. Check out these essays about life lessons .
“Being the age of twenty-four years, I have encountered and seen the various challenges that many youths in this generation are experiencing. The list of challenges facing the youth in the current generation is endless with most of them having great impacts on the entire globe.”
As a young person, the author lets the audience in on the challenges they face and centers the essay around the hurdles youth are expected to deal with. The writer focuses on the difficulty of gaining employment despite years of formal training. This essay looks at current challenges facing today’s youth and how to overcome them.
“When you are faced with a challenge, especially one that pushes your limits, you sometimes behave differently. I’m not sure how to explain it…but there is occasionally a moment when you feel absolutely drained — like you can’t take one more step or your arms are about to fail you — but if you have the right mindset you can pull the strength you need from a part of you that is not commonly used.”
This essay focuses on how challenges can be used to enhance self-identification. The author explains how difficulties in life are commonly related to experiential learning, which helps people reflect, grow, and change. The author also believes that the most challenging times bring out the bravest in us, and the more we get used to these challenges, the more we develop our “superhero power.”
6 Prompts for Essays About Life Challenges
Begin your essay by sharing a personal experience about a life-changing challenge you had to endure. Reminisce about your life before this occurred, and delve into how you felt during the challenge, then describe overcoming the challenge and how it shaped you. You can split your essay into three sections to dedicate thought to each part of the process. Make sure to use descriptive language and share your feelings with the reader for an engaging piece of writing.
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The effects of life challenges differ for each person. For this prompt, research severe life challenges that can significantly damage an individual and add relevant statistics that prove these cases. These occurrences include childhood abuse, long-term stress, and social isolation. Conduct research and describe how experiencing these challenges can result in mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. Tip: Make sure to cite research from credible sources.
Our upbringing shapes how we confront challenges and find resolutions. These lessons are communicated through events we are exposed to as children and young adults. In this essay, describe the ways that different upbringings can impact our ability to cope with challenges.
For example, a child who grew up in a family where anger was used to resolve challenges may be more likely to deal with their own challenges in a negative way, resulting in anger and anxiety. Look for studies that support this prompt and identify the importance of a family unit in a child’s reaction to life challenges. Check out our 20 engaging essay topics about family .
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To narrow down the subject for your essay, focus on an aspect of an individual’s life they can’t remove, such as livelihood. Use this prompt to open a discussion about the challenges people face in their workplace and find cases that illustrate these difficulties.
For example, there are 48.6 million Americans who have experienced workplace bullying. Delve into the reasons for these issues and offer possible solutions.
Overcoming tough challenges in life may lead to positive or negative results. Divide your essay into two parts, list the pros and cons of dealing with everyday life challenges, and add relevant factors that lead to those outcomes.
Here’s an example: After the death of a loved one, an individual will learn how to deal with the pain and continue living their life with a stronger faith. On the other hand, they may succumb to sadness and become depressed.
For this prompt, choose a specific life challenge you had to deal with and how you addressed the situation. Narrate the difficulties you needed to manage during that time and ensure to highlight the qualities or values you used to overcome them.
Following the previous point’s example, if you have experienced losing a close relative, your struggles could include consoling your family and yourself while needing to oversee how the deceased’s funeral and estate are handled. You can describe how you overcame this challenge by remaining composed and wise throughout the ordeal.
Looking for more? Check out our guide on how to write essays about depression .
Home ➔ How to Write an Essay ➔ Words to Use in an Essay ➔ Sentence Starters
Sentence Starters for Essays
A sentence starter is simply a word or a phrase that will help you to get your sentence going when you feel stuck, and it can be helpful in many different situations. A good sentence starter can help you better transition from one paragraph to another or connect two ideas. If not started correctly, your sentence will likely sound choppy, and your reader might not be able to follow your thoughts.
Below, we will explain when sentence starters for essays are used and what types of them exist. We will then give you plenty of examples of sentence-starter words and phrases that you can use in your writing.
Note: To learn more about word choice in academic writing, you can read our guide: Words to Use in an Essay
Why you need good sentence starters
In academic writing, sentence starters are usually used to connect one idea to another. Sentence starters make your essay coherent as they are often used to transition from one paragraph to another. In other words, they glue your writing together so that it makes sense and is easy to read.
You can also use sentence starters inside paragraphs. This will help you to better transition from one idea to another. It can make your writing flow better and sound more unified if done correctly.
When sentence starters are used
You don’t have to use them in every sentence, but they can be helpful if you feel like your ideas are choppy or you want to connect two thoughts. If overused, sentence starters can make your writing sound repetitive and distracting to the reader.
Here’s a list of cases where you should consider using sentence starters:
- To transition from one paragraph or section of your writing to another
- To introduce a new idea at the start of your essay or paragraph
- To start the final paragraph and conclude the entire essay
- To emphasize something important
- To create a hook and grab your reader’s attention
- To clarify something or give brief background information
These are just some common situations for using sentence starters, and this list is not definitive. If you can’t decide whether or not to use a sentence starter, it’s usually best to err on the side of not using one. If your paragraph flows nicely, don’t overthink it and move on with your essay writing .
What are the different types of sentence starters?
Sentence starters vary based on what you want to achieve in the sentence you’re starting. Here are some of the most common purposes that define what sentence starter you need to apply, along with some examples.
Starters for hooks
If you want to grab your reader’s attention in the first paragraph and make them want to read your essay, you need to use introduction sentence starters that are attention-grabbing and interesting. Some common sentence starters for essay hooks are:
- Did you know that… (for a fact)
- When I was… (for an anecdote)
- Just as… (for an analogy)
- According to… (for a statistic)
Starters to start a thesis statement
The thesis statement is the main idea of your essay. It’s what you want to prove or argue in your essay. You will need to use sentence starters that introduce your essay topic in a clear and concise way. For example:
- This essay will discuss…
- The purpose of this essay is to…
- In this essay, I will argue that…
- In my opinion…
- I think that…
Starters for topic sentences
A topic sentence is the first sentence at the beginning of each body paragraph that introduces the main idea of the paragraph. You will want to use body paragraph starters that state the main idea of the paragraph in a clear and concise way. Some specific examples:
- One reason why…
- The most important thing to remember is that…
- Another important factor to consider is…
- The first thing to note is that…
- It’s important to remember that…
- Besides the previous point,…
Starters for concluding
When you’re concluding your essay , you need to use conclusion sentence starters that emphasize the main points of your argument and leave your reader with a strong impression. Here are some examples:
- In conclusion,…
- To sum up,…
- Overall,…
- To conclude,…
- Finally,…
- In the final analysis,…
Starters for lists
If you’re listing ideas or items, you will want to use sentence starters that introduce each item clearly. Some common list starters are:
- The first…
- The second…
- Thirdly,…
- Next,…
- Lastly,…
Starters for comparing and contrasting
If you’re writing an essay that compares and contrasts two or more things, you will need to use sentence starters that introduce each item you’re discussing and emphasize the similarities and/or differences. For example:
- Similarly,…
- However,…
- In contrast to…
- On the other hand,…
- Compared to…
- Despite the fact that…
Starters for elaborating
If you want to elaborate on an idea, you need to use sentence starters that introduce the detail you’re going to include and how it relates to the main idea. Some common starters for elaborating are:
- For example,…
- In other words,…
- That is to say,…
- To elaborate,…
- Another way to put it would be…
- To put it more simply,…
Starters for giving background information
If you want to give some brief background information in your essay, you need to use sentence starters that introduce the information and explain why it’s relevant. For example:
- As previously mentioned,…
- As everyone knows,…
- In today’s society,…
Starters for giving an example
If you want to give an example in your essay, you need to use sentence starters that introduce the example and explain how it supports your argument. For example:
- For instance,…
- To illustrate,…
- Thus,…
- In this case,…
Starters for introducing a quotation
If you want to include a quotation in your essay, you need to use sentence starters that introduce the quotation and explain its relevance. Some examples:
- As John Doe said,…
- According to Jane Doe,…
- As the old saying goes,…
- In Jane Doe’s words,…
- To put it another way,…
Starters for introducing evidence
If you want to include evidence in your essay, you need to use sentence starters that introduce the evidence and explain its relevance. For example:
- The data shows that…
- This proves that…
- This suggests that…
- The evidence indicates that…
Starters for bridging
If you want to create a bridge sentence between two paragraphs, you need to use sentence starters that introduce the second paragraph and explain how it relates to the first. For example:
- This leads to the question,…
- This raises the issue,…
- Another important point to consider is…
- This brings us to the question of…
Starters to show causation
If you want to show causation in your essay, you need to use sentence starters that introduce the cause and explain its relationship to the effect. For example:
- Because of this,…
- As a result,…
- Consequently,…
- Due to the fact that…
- Therefore,…
Starters to emphasize a point
If you want to emphasize a point in your essay, you need to use sentence starters that draw attention to the point and make it clear why it’s important. Examples of sentence starters to add emphasis:
- Importantly,…
- Significantly,…
Starters to express doubt
If you want to express doubt about an idea in your essay, you need to use sentence starters that make it clear you’re not certain and explain why you have doubts. For example:
- It’s possible that…
- It’s uncertain whether…
- Some people might argue that…
- There is evidence to suggest that…
- Although it is debatable,…
- It might be the case that…
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Key takeaways
- Sentence starters are especially important in academic writing because they can help you make complex arguments and express yourself clearly.
- There are many different types of sentence starters, each with its own purpose.
- You need to choose the right sentence starter for the specific task you’re writing about.
- When in doubt, err on the side of caution and choose a simpler sentence starter.
Now that you know the different types of sentence starters and how to use them effectively, you’ll be able to write clear, concise, and well-organized essays.
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Challenges for a Thesis Statement
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A Good Thesis Topic
Don't be fooled by the fact that a thesis statement is only one sentence long. Your entire essay is based upon this crucial sentence. The key to a successful thesis statement is to respond directly to the prompt, be specific, and get straight to the point. Often, your initial thesis statement will develop and grow more precise after you have written the essay.
Make it Debatable
A thesis statement is not a fact. It is a statement that requires elaboration and support and can prompt a discussion. If the statement is self-evident, then it is not an effective thesis statement. For example, the following statement is not debatable and is therefore a poor thesis: "Every day people without cars take public transportation." This sentence is a fact; it does not argue anything and is not making a point that can be discussed. A possible thesis statement based on this topic can be "The city should provide more frequent bus and train service for the countless citizens who cannot afford to own a vehicle."
Be Specific
A common challenge for writing a thesis statement is making it sufficiently narrow and specific. The wording in the statement should not be too general; words like "good," "bad," "change" and "affect" can be too subjective or neutral to convey a specific meaning. Also, the content of the statement should not be too broad. Justus Liebig University warns writers to avoid writing thesis statements that are vague, underdeveloped and too broad to be thoroughly covered in a single essay. For example, the scope of the statement "Violence is rising across the globe" is too wide. An overly broad statement that ignores important nuances and details also runs the risk of being untrue and leaving the reader with questions.
Write a Complete Sentence
A thesis statement should never be written in question form; if you find that you are writing a question, then most likely the actual thesis statement is the response to that question. For example, the following is a poor thesis statement: "Why do so many people suffer from obesity?" However, if you respond to this question, you can create an effective and complete thesis statement: "As a result of the rising costs of healthy food and a decrease in physical activity, the rate of obesity is rising in the U.S."
Just Say It
Your thesis statement should get straight to the point. Rather than making an announcement, just make the point. For example, instead of writing "I'm going to write about how curfews are good," write "Curfews are good for teenagers because they provide a stable structure." Also, avoid words and phrases that serve only to set up the statement, such as "in my opinion" and "I believe" -- these are just filler and don't add any meaningful content to the essay.
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Soheila Battaglia is a published and award-winning author and filmmaker. She holds an MA in literary cultures from New York University and a BA in ethnic studies from UC Berkeley. She is a college professor of literature and composition.
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Is A.I. the Death of I.P.?
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Intellectual property accounts for some or all of the wealth of at least half of the world’s fifty richest people, and it has been estimated to account for fifty-two per cent of the value of U.S. merchandise exports. I.P. is the new oil. Nations sitting on a lot of it are making money selling it to nations that have relatively little. It’s therefore in a country’s interest to protect the intellectual property of its businesses.
But every right is also a prohibition. My right of ownership of some piece of intellectual property bars everyone else from using that property without my consent. I.P. rights have an economic value but a social cost. Is that cost too high?
I.P. ownership comes in several legal varieties: copyrights, patents, design rights, publicity rights, and trademarks. And it’s everywhere you look. United Parcel Service has a trademark on the shade of brown it paints its delivery trucks. If you paint your delivery trucks the same color, UPS can get a court to make you repaint them. Coca-Cola owns the design rights to the Coke bottle: same deal. Some models of the Apple Watch were taken off the market this past Christmas after the United States International Trade Commission determined that Apple had violated the patent rights of a medical-device firm called Masimo. (A court subsequently paused the ban.)
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In 2021, the N.C.A.A. began allowing college athletes to market their name, image, and likeness (N.I.L., the three elements of the right of publicity). Caitlin Clark, the University of Iowa women’s-basketball star, has an N.I.L. valued at around eight hundred thousand dollars a year. If you think there might conceivably be a gender gap here: LeBron James’s son Bronny, who played his first collegiate game on December 10th and scored four points in a losing effort, has an N.I.L. currently valued at $5.9 million.
Bob Dylan , Neil Young , and Stevie Nicks are among a number of artists who have recently sold the rights to some or all of their songs. Virtually every song that Bruce Springsteen has ever written is now owned by Sony, which is reported to have paid five hundred and fifty million dollars for the catalogue. Because the copyright clock does not start ticking until the demise of the creator, Sony could own those rights until past the end of the century. The longer the Boss lives, the richer Sony gets.
David Bellos and Alexandre Montagu use the story of Sony’s big Springsteen buy to lead off their lively, opinionated, and ultra-timely book, “ Who Owns This Sentence? A History of Copyrights and Wrongs ” (Norton), because it epitomizes the trend that led them to write it. The rights to a vast amount of created material—music, movies, books, art, games, computer software, scholarly articles, just about any cultural product people will pay to consume—are increasingly owned by a small number of large corporations and are not due to expire for a long time.
So what? There is little danger that Sony will keep Bruce Springsteen’s songs locked up. On the contrary, it is likely that, from now until 2100 or so, it will be impossible to escape the sound of Springsteen’s voice, because Sony needs to find lots of ways to recoup its investment. Sony enjoys no benefit from sitting on its property, and the music costs it almost nothing to disseminate. The company just needs someone to deposit the checks.
Sony will collect many of those checks from people like you and me. Our contribution will come out of things like the subscription and downloading fees we pay our music-streaming services. Considering the amount of music those services give us access to, a lifetime of Springsteen is costing us pennies. But there are some six hundred and sixteen million subscribers to music-streaming services out there—the number has more than doubled in the past four years, which is why all these catalogue sales are happening now—so the math looks good for Sony.
There are other lucrative revenue streams. Car manufacturers have been trying to buy a license to use “Born to Run” in their commercials almost since the song was released, in 1975. Unless Springsteen, who has so far largely avoided endorsements, attached conditions to the sale, which seems unlikely given the dollars on the table, their day has probably arrived.
Bellos, a comparative-literature professor at Princeton, and Montagu, an intellectual-property lawyer, find this kind of rent-seeking objectionable. They complain that corporate copyright owners “strut the world stage as the new barons of the twenty-first century,” and they call copyright “the biggest money machine the world has seen.” They point out that, at a time when corporate ownership of copyrights has boomed, the income of authors, apart from a few superstars, has been falling. They think that I.P. law is not a set of rules protecting individual rights so much as a regulatory instrument for business.
But what Bellos and Montagu are ultimately distressed about isn’t that businesses like Sony are sucking in large sums for the right to play music they didn’t create, or that you and I have to pay to listen to it. We always had to pay to listen to it. The problem, as they see it, is that corporate control of cultural capital robs the commons.
In an important sense, when Bruce Springsteen releases a song or Jorie Graham publishes a poem, it belongs to all the world. Musical compositions, poems, works of art, books, TikTok videos—every type of cultural product is a public good. Our species draws upon them for pleasure, for edification, for inspiration and motivation, and sometimes for a cheesy simulacrum of such things. Because of the digital revolution, more of these goods are available to more people at less cost than ever. And we can do almost anything we like with them. We can listen to the songs or read the poems as often as we want, and they can excite us to create songs and poems of our own. What we cannot do, for a finite period of time, is put copies of those things on the market.
That period is set by Congress, under a power enumerated in Article I of the Constitution: “To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries.” The first federal copyright act, passed in 1790, set the term of copyright at fourteen years from the date when a work was submitted for registration, renewable for another fourteen years.
You no longer have to register a work to hold its copyright. And the duration of that copyright has been extended several times. Since 1978, it has been seventy years from the death of the creator. For “corporate authors”—that is, companies that pay employees to make stuff (known as “work for hire”)—it is now ninety-five years from the date of publication or a hundred and twenty years from the date of creation, whichever is shorter. Mickey Mouse, who was first “published” in 1928, entered the public domain at the beginning of this year—but only in his 1928 form. Updated Mickeys are still protected. In short, by the time a work created today enters the public domain, most of us will be dead. Many of us will be very dead.
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For you (probably) and me (definitely), the rights to our creations are not worth much money to anyone but ourselves. But, if you are the guy who wrote “Born to Run,” it is prudent to assign your rights to an entity that can pay you while you are alive some considerable portion of what your songs will be worth long after you are not. Bellos and Montagu argue that copyright law, originally enacted in Britain in the eighteenth century to protect publishers (and, to some extent, writers) from pirates, has evolved into a protection for corporate colossi with global reach. The law today treats companies as “authors,” and classifies things like the source code of software as “literary works,” giving software a much longer period of protection than it would have if it were classified only as an invention and eligible for a patent (now good for twenty years, with some exceptions).
Bellos and Montagu agree with many critics of contemporary copyright law that the current term of copyright is absurd. Often, we are locking away indefinitely stuff whose rights are owned by someone—an heir, an estate, some company that bought them along with other assets in a package—but no one knows who. For fear of a lawsuit, that material remains in a vault. A lot of video footage falls into this category, as do countless books that are out of print and music that can no longer be purchased in any format (much of Motown , for instance). There is no “use it or lose it” provision in copyright law.
Rights-owning heirs can be quite controlling, too. Martin Luther King, Jr. ,’s family, along with EMI Music Publishing, owns the rights to film and audio recordings of the “I Have a Dream” speech. In 1996, the King family sued CBS for using portions of the speech without permission—even though it was CBS that made the film for which King’s heirs were charging a licensing fee. “It has to do with the principle that if you make a dollar, I should make a dime” is how King’s son Dexter explained the thinking. An initial verdict for CBS was overturned on appeal, and the Kings settled for a cash payment (which evidently took the form of a contribution to the King Center for Nonviolent Social Change and thus was tax deductible). CBS can afford the litigation. The average person cannot.
Corporations themselves can squeeze you shamelessly. Bellos and Montagu tell the story of a documentary filmmaker who shot a scene in which a group of workers were sitting around playing a board game with a television set on in the background. The TV happened to be showing “The Simpsons,” and the filmmaker applied for permission to use the four seconds of the “Simpsons” episode that was visible in the shot. The studio wanted ten thousand dollars.
A particularly notorious “background” lawsuit was the “Dancing Baby” case. At issue was a twenty-nine-second YouTube video a mother had taken of her thirteen-month-old bouncing up and down to a Prince song, which is indistinctly audible for approximately twenty seconds. In 2007, Prince’s label alleged copyright infringement and forced YouTube to take down the video. The case ended up in court. The baby’s mother, Stephanie Lenz, prevailed in a lawsuit, but the litigation took a decade. That’s why an author who wants to reproduce a photograph in a book would, if the photograph includes a painting in the background, even a fragment, be well advised to get permission not just from the photograph’s rights holder but from the painting’s.
What makes this ridiculous is that most of the photographs you see in books are on the Web, where they can be viewed by billions of people for nothing. But authors have to pay a fee, often hundreds of dollars for a single image, to reproduce them in a work that will be read by, with luck, ten or twenty thousand people. The major rent seeker here is Getty Images, which, after buying up most of its rivals, now controls more than four hundred and seventy-seven million “assets”—stock images, editorial photography, video, and music—and is worth five billion dollars. If you want to reprint a news photograph, chances are that Getty controls the rights.
Most litigation over copyright, like Lenz’s suit, involves a term that has eluded precise judicial definition: fair use. Fair use is where the commons enters the picture. When Ezra Pound said “Make It New,” he meant that putting old expressions to new uses is how civilizations evolve. The higher the firewall protecting the old expressions, the less dynamic the culture has a chance to be.
As Bellos and Montagu repeatedly point out, all new creations derive from existing creations. In our head when we write a poem or make a movie are all the poems we have read or movies we have seen. Philosophers build on the work of prior philosophers; historians rely on other historians. The same principle applies to TikTok videos . The same principle applies, really, to life. Living is a group effort.
The no man’s land between acceptable borrowing and penalizable theft is therefore where most copyright wars are waged. One thing that makes borrowing legal is a finding that the use of the original material is “transformative,” but that term does not appear in any statute. It’s a judge-made standard and plainly subjective. Fair-use litigation can make your head spin, not just because the claims of infringement often seem far-fetched—where is the damage to the rights holder, exactly?—but because the outcomes are unpredictable. And unpredictability is bad for business.
The publisher of “ The Wind Done Gone ,” a 2001 retelling, by Alice Randall, of Margaret Mitchell’s “ Gone with the Wind ” from the perspective of a Black character, was sued for infringement by the owner of the Mitchell estate. The parties reached a settlement when Randall’s publisher, Houghton Mifflin, agreed to make a contribution to Morehouse College (a peculiar outcome, as though the estate of the author of “Gone with the Wind” were somehow the party that stood for improving the life chances of Black Americans). Then there’s the case of Demetrious Polychron, a Tolkien fan who was recently barred from distributing his sequel to “ The Lord of the Rings ,” titled “The Fellowship of the King.” Polychron had approached the Tolkien estate for permission and had been turned down, whereupon he self-published his book anyway, as the estate learned when it turned up for sale on Amazon.
In Randall’s case, Houghton Mifflin argued that the new novel represented a transformative use of Mitchell’s material because it told the story from a new perspective. It was plainly not written in the spirit of the original. In Polychron’s, the sequel was purposely faithful to the original. He called it “picture-perfect,” and it was clearly intended to be read as though Tolkien had written it himself. Polychron also brought his troubles on himself by first suing the Tolkien estate and Amazon for stealing from his book for the Amazon series “ The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power .” The suit was deemed “frivolous and unreasonably filed,” and it invited the successful countersuit.
Pop art, from Andy Warhol to Jeff Koons , is a lively arena for fair-use litigation, since the art deals explicitly with appropriated images. Very little is obviously “transformed.” Last spring, in Andy Warhol Foundation v. Goldsmith, the Supreme Court ruled that the foundation could not license the use of a Warhol work—featuring Prince, as it happens—that was silk-screened from a photograph by Lynn Goldsmith, a professional photographer.
The Court’s opinion, by Justice Sonia Sotomayor, largely restricted itself to the question of who had the right to license the image for use as a magazine illustration. It did not address the potentially explosive art-market question of whether Warhol’s Prince silk screens themselves (there are fourteen, plus two pencil drawings) are covered by fair use. Following his “Campbell’s Soup Cans” exhibition, in 1962, much of Warhol’s art reproduced images and designs made by other people. Are those works “transformative” because they’re Warhols? If I did the same thing, could I claim fair use?
The real circus act in copyright law, currently, is pop music. Pop is a highly formulaic art, and some amount of copying is pretty much inevitable. Most twelve-bar blues music is based on the same three chords. Much of jazz is built from the chord progression known as “rhythm changes.” Folk has a certain sound; rock has a certain sound; country has a certain sound. These sounds are created from a vocal and instrumental palette specific to each genre, and each genre has its own themes, tropes, imagery.
This is because although originality has high value in the fine arts, imitation—or, more precisely, imitation with a difference—has high value in entertainment media. People like the music they already like. Movies, too. If the first “Die Hard” is a hit, there is a sequel—in fact, four sequels. It’s the “Send more Chuck Berry” syndrome, the theory behind Pandora. Listeners want songs that sound like songs they enjoy, and a hit song spawns soundalikes seeking to cash in on what people are buying.
The insane part of all this is that I can record a cover—that is, a copy—of “Born to Run” without any permission at all. The legal requirement is only that I notify the rights holder and pay a royalty set by statute, which is currently about twelve cents per sale for a three-minute song. Unsurprisingly, a huge portion of the pop repertoire therefore is covers. There are at least fifty covers of “Born to Run,” including one by the London Symphony Orchestra. There are more than fifteen hundred Bob Dylan covers. There were six versions of “Try a Little Tenderness” before Otis Redding made his immortal 1966 recording with Booker T. & the M.G.s, a rendition without which the lives of many of us would be poorer.
But if I write a song that simply shares a few musical elements with “Born to Run”—“substantial similarity” is the legal standard—I could be in trouble. The similarity does not have to be deliberate. George Harrison was found liable for “subconscious” infringement when he used chords from the Chiffons’ hit “He’s So Fine,” from 1963, in his 1970 song “My Sweet Lord,” and had to pay five hundred and eighty-seven thousand dollars. Harrison knew that “this combination of sounds would work,” the judge wrote, because it had already worked. Yes, that seems to be the way the music business operates.
To be found liable for subconscious infringement, you do at least have to have heard the song you’re accused of stealing from. In 1983, a jury found that the Bee Gees had borrowed illegally from a song by Roland Selle called “Let It End” when they wrote “How Deep Is Your Love,” but the verdict was thrown out on appeal because the plaintiff had not established that the Bee Gees could have heard his song, which he had distributed as a demo. The initial finding of “substantial similarity” was purely serendipitous.
In 2015, a jury decided that Robin Thicke and Pharrell Williams had copied Marvin Gaye ’s “Got to Give It Up” in their hit “Blurred Lines.” Although the question of whether there were specific musical elements in common was contested, the jury evidently thought that they had a similar “feel.” Thicke and Williams had to pay the Gaye family $5.3 million plus fifty per cent of future revenues.
The finding shocked a lot of people in the legal and music worlds, and a backlash against the “Blurred Lines” verdict seems to have made it a little harder for music infringement claims to stick. The group Spirit had a plausible case that Led Zeppelin had borrowed the arpeggiated chords that open “Stairway to Heaven” from Spirit’s “Taurus”: the chords are not completely identical but they do sound a lot alike, and Led Zeppelin used to open for Spirit. Still, in 2016, a California jury sided with Led Zeppelin, in a verdict that survived appeal.
And, last spring, the singer-songwriter Ed Sheeran was found not liable for copying another Gaye song , “Let’s Get It On.” During the trial, Sheeran brought his guitar with him to the witness stand and demonstrated to the jury that the four-chord progression in his song was common in pop music. Sheeran is a charming fellow, and the jury was duly swayed. “I am unbelievably frustrated that baseless claims like this are allowed to go to court at all,” he said after the trial. But the legal uncertainty is an incentive to sue, since settlement dollars can be significant. (If you lose, though, the Copyright Act gives the court the discretion to make you pay the defendant’s attorney fees.)
The uncertainty exists because juries differ, but also because the goalposts move. The different results in the “Blurred Lines” and the “Stairway to Heaven” lawsuits had partly to do with something called the “inverse ratio” rule, a judge-made rule invented to establish the degree of similarity required for legal liability. Inverse ratio dictates that the more access the defendant had to the original work, the lower the bar for establishing substantial similarity. Which makes little sense. The court—the Ninth Circuit, where many entertainment-industry cases end up—applied the rule in the former case and then turned around and declared it void in the latter.
Judicial competence is also an issue. There is a special court for patent and trademark claims, which sits in Washington, D.C. But judges assigned in copyright cases generally know little about the fields in which fair-use concerns arise. This is why the matter of what’s “transformative” is such a judicial gray area. In a rather heated dissent in the Warhol case, Elena Kagan complained that Justice Sotomayor and the rest of the majority had no understanding of art. To know why a Warhol silk screen counts as transformative, or to give musical definition to a song’s “feel,” you need a kind of expertise that most judges—most people—don’t have.
Competence is also likely to be a factor in cases arising on the next frontier in I.P., artificial intelligence. Bellos and Montagu end their book with the intriguing suggestion that A.I. may be the technology that brings the whole legal structure of copyright down.
From a historical perspective, generative A.I. is just the latest in a line of innovations that have put pressure on copyright law. These include photography, which was not declared copyrightable until the second half of the nineteenth century; radio, which triggered a war between the American Society of Composers, Authors, and Publishers ( ASCAP ), which licenses performance rights for music, and the broadcast companies over whether on-air play of a song requires payment of a royalty ( ASCAP won); and photocopying. Is a Xerox copy of an article or a book illegal under the terms of copyright law? How about a six-line poem? It is, after all, a copy, even if it was not made with a printing press.
The Internet spawned all kinds of methods for accessing copyrighted material and circumventing copyright claims. Napster, launched in 1999, is the landmark example. Its peer-to-peer file-sharing system was determined to be piracy, but Napster still revolutionized the music industry by moving it into the streaming business. Performance revenue aside, music income now comes primarily not from CD sales but from licensing deals. Spotify is a direct descendant of the Napster case.
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On the other hand, in Authors Guild v. Google, decided in 2015, courts upheld the legality of Google Books, even though it is a Web site that was created by scanning tens of millions of books without permission from the copyright holders. That case didn’t even go to trial. Google won in summary judgment under the principle of fair use, and an appeals court held that Google Books’ copying had a “highly convincing transformative purpose” and did not constitute copyright infringement. The outcome portends trouble for parties with copyright cases against companies that use A.I.
Still, no one knows how courts will apply the current statutory authority—the Copyright Act of 1976 and subsequent amendments—to generative A.I. , a technology whose capacities were barely contemplated in 1976. Apps like ChatGPT are large language models (L.L.M.s), meaning that they have “learned” by being “trained” on enormous amounts of digital information. What the models are “learning” are not even sentences but “tokens,” which are often pieces of words. When functioning properly, a model predicts, based on a statistical calculation, what token comes next.
This has been mocked as simply an advanced form of autofill. But, when I write a sentence, I, too, am trying to guess the best next word. It just doesn’t feel especially “auto.” One big difference is that, since I fancy myself a writer, I am trying to avoid , wherever possible, the statistically most common solution.
It is thought that a significant percentage of the token sequences that the L.L.M.s have trained on come from the Web sites of news organizations, whose material is copyrighted. The models are also believed to train on text in so-called shadow libraries, like Library Genesis and Z-Library, which include millions of pages of copyrighted material. A key legal question is whether the training process has involved copying this text and, if so, whether any or all of this process is protected by fair use.
I.P. experts completely disagree about what the answer should be. There are multiple legal challenges under way, which will probably result in cases argued in different venues producing inconsistent results. Ideally, this is an area where Congress, under its Article I power, would decide on the rules, but Congress these days is not exactly a well-oiled legislative machine.
Courts have already ruled that search engines, like Google and Bing, which scour enormous amounts of copyrighted material on the Web, are protected by fair use, because the thumbnail images and text snippets they display when you conduct a search qualify as “transformative.” Are generative-A.I. systems so different from search software in this respect?
The comedian and memoirist Sarah Silverman and two other writers have sued the tech companies Meta and OpenAI for copyright infringement. (Most of the suit was dismissed by a federal judge last November.) John Grisham and Jodi Picoult are part of a separate writers’ lawsuit, and there are others. It’s not obvious what sort of relief writers can ask for. Silverman’s memoir is protected against piracy by copyright. Someone else can’t print and sell a substantially similar work. But, in an L.L.M., her text is a drop in an ocean of digital data. There is no reason to think that well-known, best-selling writers such as Grisham and Picoult are somehow losing more to L.L.M.s than an equally prolific author of self-published guides to home repair is. Since A.I. technologies feed on the entire online universe of words and images, everyone, even if their creative activities are limited to taking selfies or posting tuna-casserole recipes, could sue. To an L.L.M., it’s tokens all the way down.
But the lawsuits keep on coming. Last winter, Getty Images sued Stability AI for what it called “brazen theft and freeriding” on a “staggering scale.” And, in December, the Times sued OpenAI and Microsoft, claiming that those companies are liable for “billions of dollars in statutory and actual damages” for their use of the Times ’ archives.
The Times claims, for example, that Bing, Microsoft’s search engine, which uses OpenAI’s ChatGPT, provided results that substantially copied verbatim from the paper’s Wirecutter content, which makes money when readers use its links to sites where they can purchase recommended goods. (In effect, Bing visited the Wirecutter pages and then got the ChatGPT engine to paraphrase them closely.) The links were not included in Bing’s version, and so the Times lost money.
Some of these legal challenges can be met by licensing agreements, which is how music companies responded to the Napster episode. The Associated Press has agreed to license the use of its reporting to ChatGPT, and additional licensing deals have been consummated or are in the works. Other kinds of guardrails around the use of A.I. in the workplace can be erected through collective bargaining, as happened this fall after the Writers Guild of America, which represents more than eleven thousand screenwriters, and the Screen Actors Guild went on strike. Might similar guardrails be used to protect—oh, I don’t know—writers for weekly magazines?
Another question is whether works created by A.I. are themselves copyrightable. Last August, a federal court ruled that machine-made works are not copyrightable—in the court’s words, that “human authorship is a bedrock requirement of copyright.” But that conclusion is likely to be tested soon. After all, a camera is a machine. Why is it that, if I bring my Leica to a back-yard fireworks display, my photograph is eligible for copyright protection, but if I prompt Dall-E 3, an OpenAI service, to make me a photograph of fireworks, the image it produces might not be?
People loved the A.I.-generated version of Johnny Cash singing a Taylor Swift song, which was posted online last year by a person in Texas named Dustin Ballard. But who owns it? Could Taylor Swift sue? Probably not, since it’s a cover. Does the Cash estate have an ownership claim? Not necessarily, since you can’t copyright a style or a voice. Dustin Ballard? He neither composed nor performed the song. No one? Does it belong to all the world?
Some people may say that A.I. is robbing the commons. But A.I. is only doing what I do when I write a poem. It is reviewing all the poems it has encountered and using them to make something new. A.I. just “remembers” far more poems than I can, and it makes new poems a lot faster than I ever could. I don’t need permission to read those older poems. Why should ChatGPT? Are we penalizing a chatbot for doing what all human beings do just because it does so more efficiently? If the results are banal, so are most poems. God knows mine are.
Whatever happens, the existential threats of A.I. will not be addressed by copyright law. What we’re looking at right now is a struggle over money. Licensing agreements, copyright protections, employment contracts—it’s all going to result in a fantastically complex regulatory regime in which the legal fiction of information “ownership” gives some parties a bigger piece of the action than other parties. Life in an A.I. world will be very good for lawyers. Unless, of course, they are replaced with machines. ♦
An earlier version of this article misstated the royalty rate for a three-minute cover song.
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105 Best Words To Start A Paragraph
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Chris Drew (PhD)
Dr. Chris Drew is the founder of the Helpful Professor. He holds a PhD in education and has published over 20 articles in scholarly journals. He is the former editor of the Journal of Learning Development in Higher Education. [Image Descriptor: Photo of Chris]
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The first words of a paragraph are crucial as they set the tone and inform the reader about the content that follows.
Known as the ‘topic’ sentence, the first sentence of the paragraph should clearly convey the paragraph’s main idea.
This article presents a comprehensive list of the best words to start a paragraph, be it the first, second, third, or concluding paragraph.
Words to Start an Introduction Paragraph
The words you choose for starting an essay should establish the context, importance, or conflict of your topic.
The purpose of an introduction is to provide the reader with a clear understanding of the topic, its significance, and the structure of the ensuing discussion or argument.
Students often struggle to think of ways to start introductions because they may feel overwhelmed by the need to effectively summarize and contextualize their topic, capture the reader’s interest, and provide a roadmap for the rest of the paper, all while trying to create a strong first impression.
Choose one of these example words to start an introduction to get yourself started:
- The debate surrounding [topic]…
- [Topic] has garnered attention due to…
- Exploring the complexities of [topic]…
- The significance of [topic] lies in…
- Over the past decade, [topic] has…
- The critical question of [topic]…
- As society grapples with [topic]…
- The rapidly evolving landscape of [topic]…
- A closer examination of [topic] reveals…
- The ongoing conversation around [topic]…
Don’t Miss my Article: 33 Words to Avoid in an Essay
Words to Start a Body Paragraph
The purpose of a body paragraph in an essay is to develop and support the main argument, presenting evidence, examples, and analysis that contribute to the overall thesis.
Students may struggle to think of ways to start body paragraphs because they need to find appropriate transition words or phrases that seamlessly connect the paragraphs, while also introducing a new idea or evidence that builds on the previous points.
This can be challenging, as students must carefully balance the need for continuity and logical flow with the introduction of fresh perspectives.
Try some of these paragraph starters if you’re stuck:
- Building upon previous research…
- As [source] suggests, [topic]…
- Analyzing [topic] through [theory]…
- Considering the impact of [policy]…
- Delving deeper into [topic]…
- Drawing from [author]’s findings…
- [Topic] intersects with [related topic]…
- Contrary to popular belief, [topic]…
- The historical context of [topic]…
- Addressing the challenges of [topic]…
Words to Start a Conclusion Paragraph
The conclusion paragraph wraps up your essay and leaves a lasting impression on the reader.
It should convincingly summarize your thesis and main points. For more tips on writing a compelling conclusion, consider the following examples of ways to say “in conclusion”:
- In summary, [topic] demonstrates…
- The evidence overwhelmingly suggests…
- Taking all factors into account…
- In light of the analysis, [topic]…
- Ultimately, [topic] plays a crucial role…
- In light of these findings…
- Weighing the pros and cons of [topic]…
- By synthesizing the key points…
- The interplay of factors in [topic]…
- [Topic] leaves us with important implications…
Complete List of Transition Words
Above, I’ve provided 30 different examples of phrases you can copy and paste to get started on your paragraphs.
Let’s finish strong with a comprehensive list of transition words you can mix and match to start any paragraph you want:
- Secondly, …
- In addition, …
- Furthermore, …
- Moreover, …
- On the other hand, …
- In contrast, …
- Conversely, …
- Despite this, …
- Nevertheless, …
- Although, …
- As a result, …
- Consequently, …
- Therefore, …
- Additionally, …
- Simultaneously, …
- Meanwhile, …
- In comparison, …
- Comparatively, …
- As previously mentioned, …
- For instance, …
- For example, …
- Specifically, …
- In particular, …
- Significantly, …
- Interestingly, …
- Surprisingly, …
- Importantly, …
- According to [source], …
- As [source] states, …
- As [source] suggests, …
- In the context of, …
- In light of, …
- Taking into consideration, …
- Given that, …
- Considering the fact that, …
- Bearing in mind, …
- To illustrate, …
- To demonstrate, …
- To clarify, …
- To put it simply, …
- In other words, …
- To reiterate, …
- As a matter of fact, …
- Undoubtedly, …
- Unquestionably, …
- Without a doubt, …
- It is worth noting that, …
- One could argue that, …
- It is essential to highlight, …
- It is important to emphasize, …
- It is crucial to mention, …
- When examining, …
- In terms of, …
- With regards to, …
- In relation to, …
- As a consequence, …
- As an illustration, …
- As evidence, …
- Based on [source], …
- Building upon, …
- By the same token, …
- In the same vein, …
- In support of this, …
- In line with, …
- To further support, …
- To substantiate, …
- To provide context, …
- To put this into perspective, …
Tip: Use Right-Branching Sentences to Start your Paragraphs
Sentences should have the key information front-loaded. This makes them easier to read. So, start your sentence with the key information!
To understand this, you need to understand two contrasting types of sentences:
- Left-branching sentences , also known as front-loaded sentences, begin with the main subject and verb, followed by modifiers, additional information, or clauses.
- Right-branching sentences , or back-loaded sentences, start with modifiers, introductory phrases, or clauses, leading to the main subject and verb later in the sentence.
In academic writing, left-branching or front-loaded sentences are generally considered easier to read and more authoritative.
This is because they present the core information—the subject and the verb—at the beginning, making it easier for readers to understand the main point of the sentence.
Front-loading also creates a clear and straightforward sentence structure, which is preferred in academic writing for its clarity and conciseness.
Right-branching or back-loaded sentences, with their more complex and sometimes convoluted structure, can be more challenging for readers to follow and may lead to confusion or misinterpretation.
Take these examples where I’ve highlighted the subject of the sentence in bold. Note that in the right-branching sentences, the topic is front-loaded.
- Right Branching: Researchers found a strong correlation between sleep and cognitive function after analyzing the data from various studies.
- Left-Branching: After analyzing the data from various studies, a strong correlation between sleep and cognitive function was found by researchers.
- The novel was filled with vivid imagery and thought-provoking themes , which captivated the audience from the very first chapter.
- Captivating the audience from the very first chapter, the novel was filled with vivid imagery and thought-provoking themes.
The words you choose to start a paragraph are crucial for setting the tone, establishing context, and ensuring a smooth flow throughout your essay.
By carefully selecting the best words for each type of paragraph, you can create a coherent, engaging, and persuasive piece of writing.
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Challenge in a sentence
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- 某某 2016-01-13 联网相关的政策
- flounce (30)
- solitary (227+10)
- satisfactory (233+15)
- contemptuously (33+3)
- contemptuous (74+6)
- contempt (262+20)
- magnanimity (29)
- north pole (73+5)
- south pole (61+3)
- spurious (100+2)
- simple interest (20)
- iris (170+1)
- curvy (14)
- slender (280+11)
- slab (156+1)
- sushi (94+6)
- sloping (157+2)
- skillfully (55+3)
- to be precise (40)
- thereafter (162+3)
Select the correct answer. What should the body of an essay contain in each paragraph? A. one topic sentence and three supporting detail sentences B. four supporting detail sentences about the topic C. three topic sentences and one supporting sentence D. two topic sentences and two supporting sentences
The body of an essay contains in each paragraph is one topic sentence and three supporting detail sentences . Thus the correct option is A.
An introduction paragraph also referred to as the opening paragraph, tells the reader what will happen next in the essay . It draws attention to key occurrences that have a big impact.
The relevance of the topic is made clear to the reader and is piqued in the opening paragraph, which also serves to effectively engage them. Readers can learn about an essay's main argument from the initial paragraph.
Therefore, option A is appropriate.
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Related Questions
Why did Anthony believe she had the right to vote?
Susan B. Anthony firmly thought that women should have the right to vote because she saw no difference between men and women and that women and men should be treated equally in society.
She is a well-known character in the history of women's suffrage. She spent her entire life working for women's equality and even started the National Woman's Suffrage Association. She was penalized for casting an unlawful ballot. She was found guilty of voting illegally and spent time in jail after failing to pay the fine.
Many ladies carried on in Susan's footsteps even after she passed away to try to complete the task she began. After the Nineteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution was ratified , anyone, regardless of gender, was allowed to vote.
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What is the main idea of this article excerpt service means helping others in the community?
The main idea of this article excerpt is that service is an important part of being a member of a community , and involves helping others in meaningful ways.
Article is a written piece of work that is published in a newspaper, magazine, or online. It typically covers a specific topic, and is usually written by an expert on the subject. Articles provide readers with information about a topic, as well as an opinion or analysis about that topic. Articles are typically more in-depth than blog posts and can provide readers with valuable information and insights. Articles can range from reports on current events , to reviews of books, movies, and other media, to profiles of people and places, to opinion pieces. To learn more about Article https://brainly.com/question/25759088 #SPJ4
What is the bird cage theory?
The theory demonstrates the arbitrarily rotation of the polarization plane of the magnetic field of a perfectly symmetrical bird cage about the cylinder axis.
Being or appearing in a way that appears to be random, accidental, or the result of an illogical action of individual will, without consideration for the fact or the law that ought to be in effect. commonly used in conjunction with capricious.
Rotation is the circular motion of an item about its center. There are numerous ways that things can rotate. rotation of the earth. It is a reasonably typical sort of rotation where a spherical, three-dimensional object spins around a fictitious line inside of its center. An axis is the name for this point of focus. Arbitrary Rotation command allows for a precise angle rotation of a layer. It uses an alternative approach to access the Rotate tool.
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Writing a sketch is helpful for aspiring writers because it obliges them to focus fully on what? A. developing the characters B. crafting dialogue C. developing the plot D. establishing the theme
C. developing the plot.
A sketch is a brief summary or outline of the main points of a story or play. By writing a sketch, aspiring writers are forced to focus on the key events and actions that will drive the plot forward and give it structure. This can help them to better understand the story they are trying to tell and to identify any weaknesses or inconsistencies in their plot.
Explanation:
What is dependent and independent clause with examples?
Examples of independent clauses include I prefer to read while sitting in front of the fire. An independent clause is a set of words that expresses a full idea and comprises both a subject and a verb.
Dependent clauses are made up of sentences. An independent clause is one that has at least one subject and one predicate. It expresses a whole notion. Think about this The waves crashed upon the sandy shore. In a simple statement, there is only one independent clause. An independent clause is a group of words that includes a subject and a predicate that, when read alone, expresses a complete notion.
The subject (which includes at least one noun) is either a person or an item. Examples of dependent clauses are the phrases "lf she leaves," which is not a complete sentence, and "She leaves," which is an independent thinker is someone who makes decisions and takes action on their own initiative without being influenced or controlled by others in any way. The independent businessman is autonomous and free; he is not under the control or jurisdiction of another.
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Which passage from “Child Waiting” best highlights the story’s theme? A: “This is how you spell Mississippi: M I S S I S S I P P I.” While ironing, she teaches words to the child. When all the clothes are done they sit on the porch where a trellis of morning glories blocks traffic. Her grandmother plays the harmonica and makes it chug like a train. B: Her mother is pulling the drawstring of a skirt with a hole in it where her stomach pokes through. “Three more months to go,” she says. The bassinet casts shadows on the floor of the child’s room. Pink is for girls, blue for boys, but the blanket inside is light green, and will cover the baby who will be born in a hot summer month. C: During December a crate arrives and once pried loose reveals a doll glued to a stand. There’s a butterfly in her tight black hair. The dress is sashed red to the waist, the limbs won’t move, and the eyes won’t close. Who wants a doll that can’t be cuddled? Still, the child is forced to write her mother and, until I love and miss you, every word is what she’s been warned against, a lie. D: Her mother, who’s pregnant again, talking with friends who are laughing while holding their coffee cups in the afternoon, sometimes all of them talking at once until time for the husbands to arrive, then the front door opening and closing.
The passage that best highlights the story's theme is:
C: During December a crate arrives and once pried loose reveals a doll glued to a stand. There’s a butterfly in her tight black hair. The dress is sashed red to the waist, the limbs won’t move, and the eyes won’t close. Who wants a doll that can’t be cuddled ? Still, the child is forced to write her mother and, until I love and miss you, every word is what she’s been warned against, a lie.
This passage explores the theme of expectations and the pressure the child feels to conform to those expectations, even if it means lying to her mother about her feelings toward the gift .
The inability to cuddle the doll symbolizes the child's frustration and dissatisfaction with the given situation, reflecting the larger context of the child's struggle with societal and familial expectations.
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Which statement describes the most likely message of this passage? Taleah failed her test because she forgot to study. Even though she was nervous, she explained her situation to the teacher. As a result, the teacher gave her a chance to retake the test. A. Everyone goes through difficult times in life. B. People fail when they are not prepared. C. No one expects people to succeed all the time. D. People's courage and honesty can be rewarded.
the key word is "nervous" showing she had courage, it wouldn't have been added if it wasn't important
3. Read the sentence from the passage. "The way he looked at you from under his eyebrows, not eagerly, nor furtively, but with a self possessed, competent air, quite like a captain scanning a horizon from the bridge, watching the shifting crowds from one of the little stone circles anchored out in the rush of the boulevards,-a look of authority backed by a sense of unlimited power." Which feeling is suggested by the use of the word competent? A. disdain B. hostility C. assurance D. kindness
Are Jim and Della wise or foolish?
Jim and Della are both wise and foolish because of their love for each other.
Jim and Della’s decisions throughout the story of “The Gift of the Magi” show both wisdom and foolishness. Jim and Della are wise in that they sacrifice their most precious possessions to make the other happy on Christmas.
This speaks to the strength of their love for each other and their willingness to make a great sacrifice in order to show it. However, they are also foolish in that they do not communicate their plans to each other, leaving the other unaware of their intentions until the gift is revealed.
Although their actions are ultimately for the good of their relationship, the lack of communication leads to an unfortunate outcome and wasted money.
The lesson to be learned from Jim and Della is that love should be expressed through kind words, thoughtful gestures , and meaningful conversations, not through material gifts that lack communication.
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PLS HELP ME I AM TIMED Read the paragraph. Radio ads had been aired all week. Posters in local libraries and schools advertised the new exhibit. Local celebrities voiced their support on social media, praising the museum’s new offering. Everyone seemed to be talking about the display, and Saturday’s opening was successful. Thousands of families visited the museum. This paragraph is considered a cause-and-effect text because it describes the features of the museum exhibit. lists reasons to visit the museum’s opening. explains the reasons for an event’s success. compares the museum to other local attractions.
Explains the reasons for the event's success
Circe helps Odysseus and his crew by giving them a _____ to follow them to make their sailing smoother.
Circe helps Odysseus by telling him how to get home and what will happen on each of the islands. He tells him that he will come to the Sirens' Island (p. 272) where he will be lured, then he will go to the Cave of Scilla, then he will go to Trinacia where there will be many sheep, but he will them not dead.
The required details for Circe in given paragraph
Circe was a witch and minor goddess in ancient Greek mythology and religion. She is the daughter of the titan Helios in the year and the oceanic nymph Persia or goddess Hecate and Aeëtes. Circe was famous for her extensive knowledge of potions and herbs. Using them and a magic wand or wand, she turned her enemies or those who offended her into animals. most pig crews. He manages to convince her to bring her back to human form, lives with her for a year and has children with her including Latinus and Telegonus.
Another story says that she fell in love with the sea god Glaucus, who preferred the nymph Scylla to her. In retaliation, Circe poisoned her rival's bathwater and turned her into a horrific monster.
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Who were the 3 main dictators?
Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini were the three most famous dictators in European history.
According to the traditional conception, Europe is made up of forty four (44) sovereign states or nations. Several nations, They exclude countries like Turkey, which only governs a tiny section of Thrace in the east of the European Balkan Peninsula. Geographically speaking, Asia Minor includes those the Mediterranean island of Cyprus.
Due to its numerous agricultural and industrial sectors, Europe has long been a powerhouse of trade and business . Other 2 "Old World" continents, Africa and Asia, are strategically located on each side of it.
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What was the officer trying to get Ji li to do?
Officer Ma thinks Ji-li wants to make a confession .
Ji-li Jiang's Red Scarf Girl is a historical memoir about her experiences during China's Cultural Revolution , with a prologue by David Henry Hwang.
Ji-li was the top of her class and the da-dui-zhang, or Student Council President, of her school, in Red Scarf Girl . Her father, however, forbids her from auditioning for the Central Liberation Army Arts Academy because of their political standing, something she was unaware of at the time.
Ji-li Jiang was a respected teacher in her school until 1966, when the Cultural Revolution began. Therefore, Officer Ma thinks Ji-li wants to make a confession .
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Read the excerpt. From "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner" "The Bridegroom’s doors are opened wide, And I am next of kin; The guests are met, the feast is set: May’st hear the merry din. " Which of these lines contains an internal rhyme? A) And I am next of kin B) The guests are met, the feast is set C) The Bridegroom’s doors are opened wide D) May’st hear the merry din
B) The guests are met, the feast is set of these lines contains an internal rhyme .
Internal rhyme, also known as middle rhyme, is a type of rhyme that appears within a line of verse or between internal words that span several lines. End rhyme, in contrast, is a rhyme that occurs between line endings. Commas or spaces between lines can be used to indicate internal rhyme patterns. For instance, the three-line poem " AB,AB,AB " has the identical internal rhyme and end rhyme on each of its three lines. It is possible for numerous words to rhyme inside a single line of poetry, or for the rhyming words to appear on different lines. "I drove myself to the lake / and dove into the water," is an example of internal rhyme.
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Answer: The guests are met, the feast is set. Grapoint
25 POINTS, PLEASE HELP !! When Mrs. Scott asks Geraldine why she cannot write a poem, why is Geraldine’s response in paragraphs 33–34 important to the plot? Group of answer choices 1. It shows the class that it is important to be honest 2. It allows Mrs. Scott to show how poems are written 3. It encourages the rest of the students to keep trying to write poems 4. It gives the author the opportunity to explain Geraldine’s problems at home.
Geraldine 's response is important to the plot because it shows the class that it is important to be honest , option A, since Geraldine's poem is her honesty.
By Toni Cade Bambara, the short story "Geraldine Moore the Poet" is about Geraldine , a girl whose life is anything but easy. Geraldine is poor , her father is not a part of her life anymore, her mother is sick , and she and her sister are getting evicted . That is why Geraldine tells her teacher, Mrs. Scott, that she cannot write a poem.
Geraldine seems to believe the poems are only about beautiful things - flowers, birds on window sills, love... When the teacher comes to her desk, Geraldine is brutally honest . She explains that she cannot write a poem because there is nothing lovely happening in her life. The words that come out of her mouth, however, are poetic. Sad , but poetic. So much so that Mrs. Scott writes them down on the board.
Such a scene is important because is shows the importance of honesty in writing. Writing should be about what we really feel. Honesty is beautiful . That is why we have chosen option A.
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Jason saw Roger stick his foot out and trip him, so as soon as he stood up, he gave Roger a shove from behind and watched him tumble to the ground. Which vocabulary word describes what Jason did
Retribution or revenge.
How do you describe the mood of a story?
Every element of the plot in stories is infused with mood. The mood of a piece of literature can be conveyed subtly through imagery, conflict, etc.
A story's emotional impact may be influenced by its language. Two literary components—mood and tone—help develop a story's central premise. The tone represents the author's perspective on the subject, whereas the mood describes the story's environment or overtly through omniscient narration or dialogue.
The scenario, characters, details, and word choices can all help us to distinguish between the two. The tone of a piece may be amusing, somber, eerie, optimistic, nostalgic, inquisitive, etc. Although a piece of writing's mood can fluctuate, its overall tone typically identifies the writer. Whenever a character perishes, for instance.
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Chaucer's style is derived from the Italian and French poets he read and his stories are mostly ones that have been told by others before him. If you tried to submit someone else's story in class, you would probably be accused of plagiarism. Why was Chaucer not so charged? Predict what would have happened if Chaucer published his work today.
he was charged
because he got caught in the process of turning his work in
Is mass surveillance a theme?
Mass surveillance graphic
Mass Surveillance
Mass surveillance can subject a population or significant component thereof to indiscriminate monitoring, involving a systematic interference with people’s right to privacy and all the rights that privacy enables, including the freedom to express yourself and to protest.
RELATED TOPICS
Rights Defenders and Journalists
Comms Data Retention
Protest Surveillance
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Comms Surveillance Tech
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Facial Recognition
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Protecting Civic Spaces
Mass surveillance is indiscriminate surveillance.
Mass surveillance uses systems or technologies that collect, analyse, and/or generate data on indefinite or large numbers of people instead of limiting surveillance to individuals about which there is reasonable suspicion of wrongdoing. Under currently available forms of mass surveillance, governments can capture virtually all aspects of our lives.
Today, intelligence agencies and law enforcement conduct mass surveillance through a diverse - and increasing - range of means and methods of surveillance. These include the direct mass interception of communications, access to the bulk communications stored by telecoms operators and others, mass hacking, indiscriminate use of facial recognition technology, indiscriminate surveillance of protests using mobile phone trackers, and more
Mass surveillance can be a theme in certain literary or media works. It is a term that describes how governments and other organizations track, gather and analyze information from numerous persons or sources.
Governments and other organizations engage in mass surveillance when they monitor, gather, and analyze information or data from a huge number of persons or sources. It frequently makes use of cutting-edge technology, including cameras, sensors, software , networks, and networks, to gather and analyze data from a variety of sources, including social media activity, internet browsing history, emails, texts, and phone conversations. Science fiction, dystopian, and speculative fiction are frequently used to examine the issue of widespread monitoring in literature and other kinds of media. The theme might examine the effects and ramifications of this type of monitoring on society, people, and the government. In addition to concerns about power, authority, and freedom, it frequently calls into question how to strike a balance between privacy and security.
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Wsp guys . Do you know any topics i could write or some words i could use in my poem?
you could write about clouds
What happens in Dr Lanyon's narrative?
A little mystery exists within the bigger mystery of the book thanks to Lanyon 's narration: the doctor receives a bewildering set of instructions from his buddy Jekyll without any explanation as to what they represent.
The death warrant for Lanyon was clearly visible on his face. However, Utterson feels that Lanyon is not passing away from deterioration of the body; rather, it seems that he is a victim of some "deep-seated horror" within his mind.
But they couldn't agree on Dr. Jekyll's most recent experiment, which Dr. Lanyon called "scientific balderdash." They were estranged from one another as a result of this quarrel, and Jekyll was further cut off from his pals. Dr. Lanyon saw Jekyll change into Hyde, and it profoundly damaged him.
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Is topic sentence 1 sentence?
The topic sentence is usually the first sentence of the paragraph because it gives an overview of the sentences to follow. The supporting sentences after the topic sentence help to develop the main idea. These sentences give specific details related to the topic sentence.
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What is the central idea of this excerpt from the hot zone animal?
Animal necropsies are done only by trained professionals.D. It is extremely risky to work in a containment zone. D. It is extremely risky to work in a containment zone.
Any excerpt' s principal idea or primary context is referred to as its key idea.The text recounts in interesting detail the laborious process of getting ready to enter "the hot zone " and effectively highlights the risks associated with dealing with a Level 4 agent. Because it represents emotions and opinions, it is subjective. Read the The Hot Zone snippet .Summary of the main concept: It was crucial to keep the details of this operation out of the media. It is an effective summary since it accurately captures the main point of the paragraph and is unbiased. Read the The Hot Zone snippet.
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What makes a thesis effective?
A thesis statement will assist you in narrowing your topic choice and should clearly describe the subject of your paper.
A strong thesis statement can make the difference between presenting your own argument and just restating what has already been expressed. Make a claim in your thesis statement that you plan to support with evidence from the rest of the work. Although it is ultimately your argument, it should convey your own views, perhaps in response to anything that someone else said.
Overall, your paper's thesis serves as its foundation. Each paragraph in the remaining section of your paper should immediately tie back to the paper in some way. A thesis ought to be unique. It shouldn't merely restate the thesis of another author. This does not preclude a thesis from drawing support from or being inspired by the arguments of other authors, though.
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What are 2 things that should not be in a thesis statement?
Avoid too broad a statement in essay writing and a statement that just describes a fact are 2 things that should not be in a thesis statement.
The other thing that ought to be dodged in the thesis statement are articulations that as it were portray reality as restricted to depicting the doubtful claim.
Indeed even though a sentence that includes a solid fact usually makes a culmination proposal explanation , they don't have far from being true points.
Sentences that are fair and solid but need complexity and little profundity cannot work well in a proposal explanation. A proposal statement, on the other hand, presents something worth considering and discussing.
Students tend to utilize the same thesis arrangement they have aced when composing indeed irrelevant papers.
After intensive consideration, the arrangement of a proposal articulation that works best for an enticing paper isn't as a rule reasonable for a clear exposition.
Therefore, it is exceptionally imperative to consider different sorts of thesis and extend them based on the sort of composing.
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Read the passage from the New Testament of the Bible. Therefore you have no excuse, everyone of you who passes judgment, for in that which you judge another, you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things. How does the idea found in this passage connect to Greco-Roman ideas
The idea set up in this passage connect to Greco- Roman ideas is All people are amiss.
The required details for passage in given paragraph
A Passage can be defined as a part of paragraph , a part of a judgment or differently it can also be called as a part a many paragraphs . principally, a passage is an excerpt from any piece of jotting, which is taken to prove commodity about the present textbook that's in the process of development. thus, it can be used as a brief slice of a work that helps you, in another jotting as an magnet, distraction as well as a proof factor, to the being bandied matter or content. The length of a passage differs from one environment to another and also from one’s purpose of rooting . For an illustration a passage can be a clause of a judgment , a many rulings or differently it can also be a many paragraphs . When writing papers, essays, and compositions, a passage can always make a difference in the environment in terms of making it richer, adding further value to the development and also in terms of making it look comprehensive.
Thus, a jotting without an excerpt or a passage will always be boring and will always look deficient.
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Select the correct answer from the drop-down menu. Read the excerpt from "The Phantom Rickshaw." (10) In my room I sat down and tried calmly to reason out the matter. Here was I, Theobald Jack Pansay, a well-educated Bengal Civilian in the year of grace 1885, presumably sane, certainly healthy, driven in terror from my sweetheart's side by the apparition of a woman who had been dead and buried eight months ago. These were facts that I could not blink. Nothing was further from my thought than any memory of Mrs. Wessington when Kitty and I left Hamilton's shop. Nothing was more utterly commonplace than the stretch of wall opposite Peliti's. It was broad daylight. The road was full of people; and yet here, look you, in defiance of every law of probability, in direct outrage of Nature's ordinance, there had appeared to me a face from the grave. What idea do the underlined details support? The details underlined in the excerpt support the idea that Jack is
and washing
I, therefore, hope that my above mentioned views will find an appreciable space in the pages of your newspaper so that the concerned authorities take some stick action toward this monstrous issue
Yours faithfully
Please check the grammatical mistakes and format of my letter very precisely please ignore punctuation ,give me mark as board exam ,I will mark as brainlist definitelystudy the following patterns and fill in the reststudy the following patterns and fill in the rest. My sister asked me, "Have you seen my dog?" ____________________________________________ 2. Vijay asked "Have you gone to market?" ____________________________________________ 3. My mother asked, "Why are you crying?" ____________________________________________ 4. The rickshaw puller asked me, "Do you speak English?" ____________________________________________. My sister asked me, "Have you seen my dog?" ____________________________________________ 2. Vijay asked "Have you gone to market?" ____________________________________________ 3. My mother asked, "Why are you crying?" ____________________________________________ 4. The rickshaw puller asked me, "Do you speak English?" ____________________________________________. My sister asked me, "Have you seen my dog?" ____________________________________________ 2. Vijay asked "Have you gone to market?" ____________________________________________ 3. My mother asked, "Why are you crying?" ____________________________________________ 4. The rickshaw puller asked me, "Do you speak English?" ____________________________________________5. The doctor asked the patient, "Does it feel better?" ____________________________________________ 6. My mother asked me, "Did you have lunch alone?" ____________________________________________ 7. The actor asked his fan, "Have you seen the film?" ____________________________________________ 8. Yogesh asked Mukesh, "Will you come back to our city again?" ____________________________________________ 9. Shylock asked Gratiano, "Can you lend me some money?" ____________________________________________ 10. Guruji asked D
____________________________________________
the sons of liberty was
Answer: Sons of Liberty, organization formed in the American colonies in the summer of 1765 to oppose the Stamp Act.
Multiple-choice questions have: OA. superlatives in the stem. OB. half-correct responses. O c. four answers. O D. two parts.
Two components—the stem and alternatives —make up multiple-choice questions. So, Multiple-choice questions have two parts.
What guidelines govern multiple-choice questions?
In essence, pick-one questions with more than one valid answer are known as multiple-choice questions . Other options serve as "distractors," drawing students' attention away from the correct response.
A multiple-choice question (MCQ) is made up of two parts: a stem that describes the question or problem and a list of alternatives or potential solutions that include a key—the optimal response—and a number of distractors—possible but erroneous responses.
Hence/Therefore,
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What are the 5 benefits of listening?
Listening has numerous, enormously potent advantages.
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‘One of the Truly Awful and Self-Indulgent Performances of Our Time’: The Best and Worst Moments From Night 4 of the Convention
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Did the night help Trump?
Welcome to Opinion’s commentary for Night 4 of the Republican National Convention. In this special feature, Times Opinion writers rate the evening on a scale of 0 to 10: 0 means the night was a disaster for Donald Trump; 10 means it could lead to a big polling bump. Here’s what our columnists and contributors thought of the event, which culminated in Trump’s acceptance speech.
Best Moment
Kristen Soltis Anderson, contributing Opinion writer Donald Trump gave a compelling and moving description of what it was like to be under fire and pledged to represent all of America, not just half of America. That may be easier said than done.
David Brooks, Times columnist The first 20 minutes of the Trump speech. If he’d done the story about the assassination attempt and then added 15 minutes of policy, he would be cruising toward victory. He could have plausibly argued that he is a changed man.
Jane Coaston, contributing Opinion writer Hulk Hogan’s speech was his best performance since he beat Macho Man Randy Savage at WrestleMania V.
Matthew Continetti, fellow at the American Enterprise Institute Trump’s account of the attempt on his life was gripping. He displayed a vulnerability and humility that most people had never seen before. And when he kissed the fireman’s helmet of Corey Comperatore, the husband and father who was killed during last weekend’s shooting, Trump created yet another indelible image. It won’t be soon forgotten.
David French, Times columnist Trump’s tribute to Comperatore was touching and appropriate. Placing his uniform on the stage was a powerful visual reminder of the loss.
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COMMENTS
1. Avoid trivial or common topics. While there aren't many hard-and-fast rules for choosing an essay topic, students should avoid overdone topics. These include: Working hard in a challenging class. Overcoming a sports injury. Moving schools or immigrating to the US. Tragedy (divorce, death, abuse)
The opening sentence of your essay about overcoming a challenge should be compelling and make the reader want to continue. It can be tempting to tell the story chronologically, but it can sometimes be adequate to start with the ending or a positive memory. ... Answering the essay prompt "Describe a Challenge You Overcame" offers a unique ...
Vary Your Sentence Structure: Avoid a monotonous string of simple sentences. Use a mix of sentence structures (short, long, complex) to create a more engaging rhythm. Connect to the Introduction: For a cohesive feel, subtly tie your conclusion back to your introduction. You can reference an opening question you posed or revisit a key image you mentioned.
Choose a challenge that had a significant influence rather than one that was inconsequential. Examples of Personal Challenge Essays. Following are the Personal challenge essay examples: Overcoming Academic Challenges: Navigating the challenges we face in life essay can be a transformative journey that leads to personal growth and self-discovery.
This college essay tip is by Abigail McFee, Admissions Counselor for Tufts University and Tufts '17 graduate. 2. Write like a journalist. "Don't bury the lede!" The first few sentences must capture the reader's attention, provide a gist of the story, and give a sense of where the essay is heading.
Readers will want to find out what happens next in the story. Write the challenge essay following the outline you constructed in Step 2. Utilize the topic sentences from the outline as starting points for each new paragraph. Illustrate what the challenge is, how it has changed you throughout life and, most importantly, how you plan to continue ...
Essay 1: Becoming a Coach. "Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.". Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.
The topic sentence is the most important sentence for getting your essay paragraph structure right. So, get your topic sentences right and you're on the right track to a good essay paragraph. 5. You need an Explanation Sentence. All topic sentences need a follow-up explanation. The very first point on this page was that too often students ...
The Penn application process includes a personal essay—which is sent to most schools you apply to—as well as a few short answer prompts. We read your words carefully, as they are yet another window into how you think, what you value, and how you see the world. Through your writing, we get a glimpse of what you might bring to our community ...
Daily Word Challenge Can you correctly use the word exacting in a sentence? Based on the definition and example provided, write a sentence using today's Word of the Day and share it as a comment ...
Checklist: How to use your Thesis Statement. Position: If your statement is for an argumentative or persuasive essay, or a dissertation, ensure it takes a clear stance on the topic. Specificity: It addresses a specific aspect of the topic, providing focus for the essay. Conciseness: Typically, a thesis statement is one to two sentences long.
Example #1: My Shape. This essay example comes from the Essay Academy, our digital college essay course. It has a really unique structure and uses shapes as a metaphor. It's also written in response to Common App Prompt #2. Read + Analyze a Common App Essay With Me!
Ms. Harris will face unique additional challenges as the first Black and South Asian woman to be at the top of a major party's ticket. That's real, but we shouldn't be afraid. It is a trap ...
Here's an example: After the death of a loved one, an individual will learn how to deal with the pain and continue living their life with a stronger faith. On the other hand, they may succumb to sadness and become depressed. 6. Overcoming Life Challenges.
Lawyers for Donald J. Trump challenged the judgment handed down by Justice Arthur F. Engoron, who found that Mr. Trump had conspired to manipulate his net worth to receive favorable terms on loans.
A sentence starter is simply a word or a phrase that will help you to get your sentence going when you feel stuck, and it can be helpful in many different situations. A good sentence starter can help you better transition from one paragraph to another or connect two ideas. If not started correctly, your sentence will likely sound choppy, and ...
Be Specific. A common challenge for writing a thesis statement is making it sufficiently narrow and specific. The wording in the statement should not be too general; words like "good," "bad," "change" and "affect" can be too subjective or neutral to convey a specific meaning. Also, the content of the statement should not be too broad.
Intellectual property accounts for some or all of the wealth of at least half of the world's fifty richest people, and it has been estimated to account for fifty-two per cent of the value of U.S ...
Words to Start an Introduction Paragraph. The words you choose for starting an essay should establish the context, importance, or conflict of your topic.. The purpose of an introduction is to provide the reader with a clear understanding of the topic, its significance, and the structure of the ensuing discussion or argument.
Hello viewers, and welcome to a new series (in association with my friend Payman of IELTS9PRO) where I take you through the process of IELTS essay writing, s...
219+27 sentence examples: 1. Never challenge a fool to do wrong. 2. An awesome challenge/task lies ahead of them. 3. We must meet the challenge squarely . 4. The college entrance examination is a real challenge. 5. I want to challenge,is naked game.
Daily Word Challenge Can you correctly use the word credo in a sentence? Based on the definition and example provided, write a sentence using today's Word of the Day and share it as a comment on ...
The theme of a paragraph is the controlling idea of the paragraph. The theme of a paragraph is also the central idea of a paragraph. The theme of a paragraph is the sentence in which all other sentences in a paragraph converge on. It is the topic sentence in a paragraph. Therefore, the correct answer is option D. as given above. The complete ...
The body of an essay contains in each paragraph is one topic sentence and three supporting detail sentences.Thus the correct option is A. What is an opening paragraph? An introduction paragraph also referred to as the opening paragraph, tells the reader what will happen next in the essay.It draws attention to key occurrences that have a big impact. The relevance of the topic is made clear to ...
Student years are the best time of one's life. You are in the prime of your life and hopeful about the bright future ahead. This is the period that leaves the funniest photos, the sweetest memories, and gives you the most faithful friends. However, there is one thing that spoils all the fun - assignment writing.
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The most likely candidate is believed to be Vadim Krasikov, a Russian assassin serving a life sentence in Germany for the murder of an exiled Chechen commander in Berlin. If a swap happens, we ...
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Times Opinion writers assess Night 4 of the Republican convention, which included speeches from Hulk Hogan, Mike Pompeo and Donald Trump.
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