verb for personal statement

How To Write A Ridiculously Good Personal Statement

Writing a fantastic personal statement doesn't have to be a mystery or difficult. This guide gives you actionable, real tips with examples.

Candidate Advice • CV Advice

Last Updated 17/06/2024

Your personal statement (often called a CV Profile or Personal Profile) is THE most important thing on your CV.

Why? Because it provides your first impression.

It’s your opportunity to GRAB HOLD of the reader’s attention and not let go!

The average recruiter or manager only spends seven to eight seconds reading a CV. 

However, the eyes will linger a little longer on a personal statement as it is right at the top of the page.

This is a PREMIUM space for you to use. So USE IT!

A fantastic personal statement can mean the difference between being accepted or rejected.

In the UK there were 2.8 vacancies per 100 employees.

That means for every three jobs you go for you’re competing against 99 other people.

That small paragraph is vital to securing that interview, by capturing the recruiter’s attention and convincing them to interview you.

Not a University Statement

This article talks about personal statements for CVs only. But I don’t want it to be confused with those used for university applications. 

These are longer, more detailed, and have a different purpose. 

If you’re after great advice on this click here for  advice on university personal statements .

What is a personal statement?

It’s the first four or five lines of your CV.

That is all you have to grab the attention of the recruiter and get them to read your CV.

Those lines have to provide a snapshot of who you are, what you have achieved, and most importantly what you can bring to the table.

This is your best opportunity to secure that job interview .

How To Structure It

Around four lines is the perfect amount. You definitely don’t want to exceed that. 

Space in your CV is incredibly important, so you don’t want to waste anything.

Four lines equals about 75 words.

When using size 10-11 font in Aptos (the Microsoft Word default font) it comes out at about four lines.

Now you might have to adjust the margins to fit in more, but it’s more about the line count than the word count.

It’s like Goldilocks. Not too long, not too short. Easy to skim read, but long enough to have detail.

With a small space, you need to be specific and carefully choose what to include.

Don’t worry, we will break everything down and help you write an amazing personal statement.

How to Write it

There’s only one person who truly knows you, YOU.

So don’t rely on a templated answer generated by AI .

By all means use AI to improve what you have already written, but don’t let it write for you.

Writing a personal statement is something you should do at the end.

You should update and write the rest of your CV first.

The reason is your personal statement should answer three questions clearly – Who are you? What skills do you have? How can you help our business?

This becomes easier if you have already written the rest of those points in your CV.

Start small. Write a short bullet point list of what you want to include. It should just cover the most impressive essentials.

Stuck? Look at your CV – What points would really stand out? What skills are they looking for?

You are a what? A marketer? A business consultant? Health and safety advisor? Carpenter? Etc.

Then what skills or achievements do you really want to highlight? Is it your communication or project management? Is it the fact you increased sales by 12% or made a saving of 35%? Whatever it is you are doing to highlight your best skills against what the recruiter is truly looking for.

Finally, it’s matching what you can do against what they need. Do they need a great communicator? Or a great leader? Do they need someone who can think outside of the box? Or do they need someone logical and methodical?

Whatever the need, make sure to make it clear that you fit that role perfectly.

The list could be like this;

• Marketer – Experienced, methodical, strategic
• Skills – Communication, strategy, management
• Achievements – Secured 207 leads in a single week long campaign, achieved a 30% increase in sales
• How it fits – They need a leader who can create a strategy and then deliver it.

By writing it out like this you have created an outline for your statement.

Having an outline makes it a lot easier to answer the questions.

The Writing Lesson

Starting with a blank page is scary. The lack of words can easily mean your mind feels empty of thoughts.

Even if you’re not the most creative of writers I will help guide you through how to word, phrase, write, and put together your statement.

The first thing to keep in mind is you should use the first person (i.e. I, Me, Myself etc) sparingly.

If you’re constantly saying “I did this” and “I achieved that” it sounds self-absorbed. Try and vary it up.

Obviously you are going to need to introduce yourself. A classic opening would be “I am a methodical strategist and marketer” or something along those lines.

After that intro use the third person WITHOUT PRONOUNS. Referring to yourself in the third person is weird anyway, so instead of, ‘She is a retail professional seeking a management role…’ would become ‘A retail professional seeking a management role…’

Now a lot of CV writers would shout at me for it, but using the first person to introduce and then third person provides a great balance between the personal and not sounding too pompous.

This is a balance. You want it to highlight what you as a person can provide the company whilst not sounding self absorbed. A good example is as follows.

• I am recent graduate in Economics from the London School of Economics and Political Science. My studies have given me a comprehensive knowledge of economic theory and its practical application through data analysis. Accomplished user of Stata, Matlab, and SAS. Looking to use and improve existing skills and gain knowledge and experience in a fast-paced business environment in the role of Graduate Data Analyst with Equinox.
• I’m a BSc Economics graduate looking to make use of my educational attainment in a professional environment. I’m a team player with excellent communication skills and a confident user of data analysis software. Looking to gain experience as a data analyst.

Use The Active Tense

What do I mean by the active tense?

Look at the two examples below.

• I wrote a CV.
• The CV was written by me.

Or how about

• I achieved a 30% increase in sales.
• Sales were increased by 30% because of me.

Which ones sound better?

If you said the first one for each example then you’re correct. These are in the active tense. 

It’s all about where you put the verb (the action/doing word).

The sentence should be Pronoun, Verb, Rest of the Sentence. 

Pronoun = I, Me, He, She, You, They, Them

Verb = Any Action e.g. achieve, increase, do, write etc.

Rest of the sentence = Does what it says.

Going back to our examples:

• I (Pronoun) wrote (Verb) a CV. (Rest of the sentence)
• I (Pronoun) achieved (Verb) a 30% increase in sales. (Rest of the sentence)

If you’re still unsure you can always run your personal statement through the  Hemingway App . 

Hemingway will highlight different issues with a colour code so that you can rewrite and fix them to be punchy and clear. Doing this alongside double checking spelling and grammar with Grammarly will really double down the efforts and sharpen up your profile quickly and easily.

Don’t be boring! 

Boring will put off a hiring manager.

The easiest way to be boring is to use boring verbs or putting “very” in the sentence.

Choose the right words that will make your skills, experience, and accomplishments sound better.

This is all about grabbing the attention of the recruiter or hiring manager, so excitement beats boring every time.

Use strong, powerful verbs

In the words of Massive Attack “Love is a verb, love is a doing word”. Verbs are your new best friend when it comes to your CV.

Using a thesaurus and careful choice, you can make your achievements and skills sing.

Here’s a quick list of strong verbs for you to use in your personal statement.

• Established
• Increased/decreased
• Trained/mentored
• Volunteered

For a full list of verbs that you could use in your CV and personal statement check out  Indeed’s list of 139 action verbs.

At the end of the day, the stronger and more assertive and action based you can make your personal statement sound, the better.

Us Brits tend to have a habit of trying to downplay our achievements and skills, but your CV profile is not the time to do that.

Use Facts & Figures

Using numbers is amazing. By highlighting significant achievements and including exact figures in your profile you can capture the readers attention. 

It could be something as simple as “Increased sales by 30% in 6 months” but the use of numbers helps interrupt the flow of the profile in a good way.

It draws the eye of the reader and they are likely to re read the sentence to make sure they understand what you achieved.

Be very selective though and only highlight those pieces that would make you stand out to the company.

What Not To Write

We’ve shown you how to write your statement and what to include. 

We haven’t shown you what not to write.

Buzzwords / Overused Terms

A quick Google search will show you there are lots of lists of buzzwords to either include or exclude.

A lot of the time you will find the same words on both lists.

So which list do you trust?

Pick the ones that are most accurate and truthful.

Only put “high achiever” if you are a high achiever. 

Don’t lie or stretch the truth.

Be honest and use the most accurate, honest words or phrases. 

There are always ways of making you sound good without stretching the truth or lying.

You might find it more effective to communicate your qualities by detailing beneficial actions that relate to real-world scenarios instead of listing buzzwords like “ambitious,” “motivated,” and “driven.”

Try your best to avoid all cliches. There are lots of CV cliches but the most common one is “Works well on my own as well as part of a team”. This sounds like a good option to include, but it is so overused that it is now off putting to people.

Also if you think about it, it becomes a completely irrelevant sentence as being part of a company means you will either work on your own or as part of a team, you need to be able to do that as standard.

In fact some other common ones are “Hard working team player”, “results driven thought leader”, and “strong communicator”.

When you use cliches you sound unimaginative, unoriginal, and bland. As I have already said, boring or bland will instantly put off the recruiter or hiring manager.

I could write an entire blog on phrases to not include on a CV or in a personal statement.

But, the main ones to avoid are:

• Strong work ethic
• Multi-tasker
• Independent
• Detail-oriented
• Self-motivated
• Go-to-person
• Strategic thinker
• I can work on my own or as part of a team
• Think outside the box
• Results-driven
• I have good communication skill
• Hard worker
• People-person
• Team player

Avoid technical jargon as much as you can.

Unless the job description asks for specific skills or qualifications that you can prove using jargon, avoid using it.

If you cram your personal statement with technical terms it looks obvious and also disrupts the flow.

The most common form of jargon is putting a load of abbreviations into your statement. Only use these if they are specific titles or qualifications. Otherwise spell it out.

Do not put slang in your statement.

You’re talking to a hiring manager, not to your friend.

Even if the hiring manager is your friend, don’t use slang.

Keep it professional, clean, and clear.

Remember to tailor!

There is no on size fits all job. So don’t use a one size fits all profile (or CV for that matter)!

Quality will always beat out quantity. Take the time to  tailor each application to suit the needs and wants of the business.

Although you will end up applying to fewer roles, you will have a much better chance of getting an interview doing it this way.

Keywords are your friends

Use keywords. The majority of CVs now run through a piece of software called an ATS long before they ever reach the eyes of a recruiter.

ATS will be looking for keywords or phrases that match the job description to narrow down search results for recruiters.

Make sure that when you are tailoring your CV and your profile to a job, that you include the keywords that would make you stand out.

Quick Checklist!

• Get to the point – Remember short and sharp
• Who are you? 
• What skills and experiences do you offer? 
• Add your value to it – This is personal. Only you can add value
• Tailor it to the job description
• Highlight skills that you need
• Use the active voice, in the first person
• Use facts and figures – “Achieved a 30% increase in sales year on year”
• Be generic or just copy and paste something from ChatGPT
• Focus on yourself – Put the focus on them and yourself by answering “What skills and experience can you offer?”
• Ramble – A cover letter is the time to elaborate
• Only list achievements – Answer the questions in full sentences
• Forget to proofread
• We can never say it enough. Proofread every detail. Read it out loud. Send it to a friend or send it to a recruiter. Run it through  Grammarly or the  Hemingway App
• Use jargon, slang or clichés

Ta-Da! You have a personal statement.

This should perfectly complement your amazing CV !

Remember this is to make sure you get the interview. The interview will get you the job.

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How To Write a Resume Personal Statement Professionally With Examples, Tips, and Guide

What Is a Resume Personal Statement?

Key elements of a strong resume personal statement, how to write a personal statement for a resume, professional personal statement examples for job applications, best practices for crafting the best personal statements for resumes, additional resources, frequently asked questions about crafting a professional personal statement.

Writing a personal statement for your resume can help recruiters and hiring managers get a better idea of who you are as a candidate and how your experience and achievements align with the company’s mission. Learn what to include and how to format this section in this personal statement writing guide.

A resume personal statement is a few short sentences at the top of your resume that provide an overview of your professional background and experience. It’s designed to create a strong first impression and catch the hiring manager’s attention quickly. This is important considering research shows most recruiters spend just seconds per resume on average.

A personal statement differs from a resume objective in that it focuses on showing the hiring manager why you’re a good fit for the company’s needs instead of talking about your personal career goals.

Clarity and conciseness

A personal statement should be brief — no more than two to four sentences. Space is at a premium on your resume, so convey your message as clearly as possible, and leave out unnecessary details. Fragment sentences are fine, as long as they are still cohesive and otherwise grammatically correct.

Relevance to the job role

Focus on your most relevant experience and qualifications in your personal statement, and tailor this section to each job. Look for keywords or must-have skills from the job description that you can include. For example, if the position requires a specific certification that you have, make sure this is included in the statement.

Highlights key skills and achievements

Resumes cover a lot of information in a small amount of space, and it’s easy for hiring managers to gloss over your contributions. Ensure they notice your most relevant skills and accomplishments by including them in the personal statement as well as a separate key skills list .

Start with a strong opening line

How to start a resume personal statement depends on the position, but begin strong with an opening line that grabs the recruiter’s attention and shows that you’re an immediate fit for the position. Include a key metric, such as how many years of experience you have, or a specific industry skill.

Focus on your most relevant skills and experience

Look through the required skills and experience in the job description, and pick the top three to five that match your professional background. Include these in your personal statement by tying them to career accomplishments or general strengths and proficiencies.

Include some personality

While a resume should always be a professional document, more employers are looking for candidates who are a good cultural fit for the company. Injecting a little personality into the personal statement by showing how your passions and aspirations align with the organization’s mission or goals can help you stand out.

Personal statement for entry-level job seekers

A 2023 marketing degree graduate specializing in social media strategy with internship and volunteer experience in multiple verticals. A proven track record of working with cross-functional teams to create multimedia content, manage social media calendars, and host live events across various social platforms to increase user engagement and support campaigns.

Personal statement for mid-level professionals

Dedicated and results-driven business analyst with over seven years of experience. Background in fuel-related systems optimization and renewable energy. Possesses a strong analytical mindset coupled with excellent interpersonal and communication skills. Leads cross-functional teams, conducts data analysis, and identifies opportunities for process enhancement.

Personal statement for senior-level and executive roles

A digital marketing director with over 10 years of experience defining marketing strategies for enterprise organizations. A proven track record of building high-performance marketing teams and collaborating with C-level executives. Adept at leveraging data-driven strategies to enhance market penetration and achieve positive business outcomes.

Personal statement for career changers

Experienced and dedicated technical support professional seeking to leverage skills in customer relations and product sales. Recognized for ability to find creative solutions and communicate complex instructions in a user-friendly manner. Adept with customer relationship management (CRM) software.

Tailor your statement for each application

Your resume should be customized for every job application you submit, and this includes your personal statement. Tweak the wording to reflect the keywords in the job description, and mirror the action verbs in the posting.

Keep it simple and straightforward

Your personal statement isn’t the place for industry jargon or overly complex language. While it’s fine to use key terms already present in the job description, stick with a clear, professional tone and easy-to-read language. Clear communication is an important skill for nearly every job, and your resume should reflect your abilities.

Proofread for clarity and accuracy

Just a few typos in your resume can dramatically reduce your chances of getting an interview . Always spend a few minutes checking your document for grammatical errors or inconsistencies before you hit the submit button. This is especially true for the personal statement because it’s the first section the hiring manager will read and is prone to errors when you’re adjusting it for each job.

Seek feedback

Ask a mentor or career advisor to take a look at your personal statement before you finalize it. They can help you identify confusing or vague words, suggest areas that could be more concise, and help you look for typos and other errors.

• Action Verbs, Power Words, and Strong Synonyms To Use on Your Resume
• Headline Examples for Your Resume
• How To Build a Professional Resume (Plus Examples and Templates)
• How To Write a Convincing Resume Profile

A personal statement is often also referred to as a resume summary . While the two are similar and almost interchangeable, there is one key difference. A resume summary pulls from your professional experience and skills to provide a two-second summary for the hiring manager.

Though a personal statement is formatted in the same way, there’s a little more leeway in what you can include. For example, a writer may add that they are passionate about the Oxford comma, and a French translator may indicate their love for classic French literature.

One of the best personal statement tips for job seekers is to use this section as part of your personal branding. Many applicants are likely to have a similar professional history or skills and qualifications, and it’s who you are as a whole candidate that can help you stand out.

The personal statement section is a place where you can immediately catch the hiring manager’s attention and give them something to remember you by, whether that’s being a Six Sigma Black Belt or having advanced Excel skills.

Your overall resume length should be between one and two pages, and your personal statement is a small fraction of that. In general, the personal statement should be about two to four sentences long, but depending on your resume formatting, it can be more helpful to measure it in lines of text. In most cases, it should be four to five lines at a maximum.

Executive Resume Writer and Career Coach

Andrew Stoner is an executive career coach and resume writer with 17 years of experience as a hiring manager and operations leader at two Fortune 500 Financial Services companies, and as the career services director at two major university business schools.

ResumeTemplates offers free, HR approved resume templates to help you create a professional resume in minutes. Choose from several template options and even pre-populate a resume from your profile.

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Ananya Sharma

November 4th, 2024, the ultimate guide to writing personal statements.

0 comments | 1 shares

Estimated reading time: 10 minutes

Writing a 4000 character personal statement is a daunting task – especially if you’re unsure about how to structure it and what to include. Don’t worry – this post will help you get started and give you some guidance on what makes a good personal statement.

Stage 1 – Content

One of the hardest parts about the personal statement is figuring out what exactly to include. It’s a good rule of thumb to have at least 80% of your statement be about your academic interest – why have you chosen this subject area and how can you demonstrate your passion? The best way to do this is to read widely around your subject and learn more about what specifically interests and motivates you within the field. This could look like attending public lectures, reading books recommended in reading lists or listening to podcasts on topics you find interesting. 

Don’t fall into the trap of giving a laundry list of every book you’ve read or every podcast you’ve listened to – admissions teams want to see how you interact with and interpret academic ideas, not a Wikipedia page! Mentioning your achievements and extra curricular activities can be a way to demonstrate your skills and experience, to set you apart as a unique candidate.

Stage 2 – Planning

When getting started, it’s a good idea to have a list of skills, achievements, ideas and experiences you want to include as a starting point for the personal statement. You should also research different degrees and courses you want to apply to, so that you can decide how to make the content of your statement relevant. Many universities don’t accept additional written statements, so making your statement broad enough to cover all five course choices can be a challenge. 

This can be a time consuming stage within the process, but proper planning and research are essential to writing a clear, concise and convincing personal statement. Writing a couple of draft versions and getting feedback from teachers or friends is a helpful way to refine and improve on your work, and ensures the final version you submit is well thought out and persuasive.

Stage 3 – Structure

Structuring a personal statement doesn’t have to be complicated. Although many other guides emphasise having an “attention-grabbing” starting sentence or paragraph, the pressure of coming up with one can be hugely demotivating. The important thing to prioritise is structuring your thoughts logically and presenting a cohesive statement that emphasises why you want to study a particular course, where your passion lies within that subject area and what skills and experiences make you a strong candidate. A clear and concise introduction; followed by the main body discussing your academic interests and experiences; a brief section on relevant extracurricular activities to show your wider skillset; and a conclusion summarising your interest and motivations is one way to structure your statement. 

Don’t get hung up on writing the “perfect” first sentence – sometimes focusing on the main body first and then coming back to the introduction can be a great way to motivate yourself to write without feeling demotivated.

Stage 4 – Proofreading

It doesn’t matter how great your experiences and skills are, or how passionate you seem about a given topic if your statement is riddled with grammatical and spelling errors. Proofread multiple times, especially with someone else so that they can spot the mistakes you might not have noticed. Staying within the character limits is also important, so put your statement in the personal statement section of the UCAS application to check that it follows those guidelines.

Good luck writing your personal statement and remember to take regular breaks and take care of yourself – this can be a stressful time!

About the author

My name is Ananya Sharma, a first year undergraduate student from the UK studying History. As well as reading and studying history, I love listening to music, going on long walks in the city and trying new restaurants in the area.

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How to Write a CV Personal Statement [20 Examples Included]

By Jeffrey Stromes

10 min read

When applying for a job, it’s critical that you immediately grab the recruiter’s attention . Otherwise, you’ll remain unnoticed, even though you may be a real gem in the pool of candidates. But how are you supposed to arouse the hiring professional’s curiosity right off the bat? The answer is hidden in these three words: a CV personal statement.

While writing a curriculum vitae is somewhat straightforward, creating a persuasive personal statement may be a challenge. Luckily, we’re here to end your struggles and teach you how to craft an eye-catching one, so keep reading to learn more!

Key Takeaways

As a highlight of your professional history, a CV personal summary aims to spark a recruiter’s interest and make them read your CV .

A personal summary is beneficial for all candidates, regardless of their experience, as it will allow a recruiter to learn more about them .

To write a compelling personal statement, you should tailor it to the job you want to apply for, highlight your experience and skills, and include your career goal.

What Is a CV Personal Statement?

Also referred to as a personal mission statement or career summary, a CV personal statement sums up who you are and what you may bring to the company . Its primary purpose is to spark a recruiter’s interest in you.

Located at the top of your curriculum vitae, a CV personal statement consists of two to four sentences that describe:

Mandatory CV Personal Statement Information

Who you are

How you’ll benefit the company

What your career objectives are

So, in other words, this part lets you show your greatest strengths and career goals . As such, it can be of great help if you’re starting out or seeking a different career path.

Here’s an example of a nicely crafted CV personal statement:

CV Personal Statement Example

As a dedicated Registered Nurse with five years of experience, I bring a proven track record in delivering compassionate and high-quality patient care. Proficient in diverse healthcare settings, I excel at assessing and addressing patient needs while fostering a collaborative and supportive environment. I am seeking a role where my skills and passion for excellence can contribute to the Houston Medical Clinic.

Why You Should Have a CV Personal Statement

By emphasizing your unique skills and talents and demonstrating why you’re the right fit for the job, a CV personal statement can help you stand out from other candidates . It will entice a hiring professional to continue reading and discover more about your skills, qualifications, experience, and achievements.

While a personal statement can help seasoned professionals with solid experience land a new job, it is also beneficial for job hunters seeking their first jobs. A CV personal statement for students allows high schoolers or undergraduates to get the job they want by summarizing their relevant academic achievements .

How to Write a Personal Statement for a CV

Here’s how to write a CV personal statement and pitch yourself to a hiring professional:

#1. Introduce Yourself

The very first sentence of your personal statement should indicate that you’re a serious candidate for the position. Describe yourself and your work experience using strong adjectives and action verbs .

The simplest way to introduce yourself is to ask, “Who am I professionally?" and an eye-catching answer will pop out immediately.

#2. List the Skills Relevant to the Position

After you’ve introduced yourself, highlight two to three skills relevant to the position . Check out the job description and look for the required competencies; select a couple of them that refer to you, and then list them in your personal statement.

By doing so, you’ll not only tailor your statement to the role; you’ll also pass the pre-screening process carried out by an ATS hassle-free.

#3. Include a Specific Goal You Want to Achieve

The next step is to add an objective you’d like to accomplish . However, make sure that the goal isn’t solely yours; it should be in line with the company’s as well .

Mentioning a specific goal that also aligns with the company’s will make a hiring manager consider you a valuable addition to the team. 

#4. Mention Your Previous Experience/Background

Having relevant experience is a one-way ticket to the next stage of the hiring process. Hence, if you possess it, mention it right away.

To do it effectively, go over the job ad again and peruse the duties and responsibilities that will await you in this position. Try to remember similar activities and experiences from previous roles and list them.

#5. Quantify Your Achievements

Listing achievements along with experience indeed adds some value to your personal statement for a CV. However, supporting it with measurable results gives it more credibility .

You can back up your achievements with growth percentages, value increases, budget savings, customer happiness , etc. Such quantifiable results will show a hiring professional how you can contribute to the success of their company as well.

20 CV Personal Statement Examples

Here, we’ll list 20 CV personal statement examples that you can use either to get inspiration or as personal statement templates.

#1. Recent Graduate CV Personal Statement

Here’s a personal summary example for a budding computer scientist CV:

Computer Scientist CV Personal Statement Example

As a recent graduate with a Bachelor's degree in Computer Science, I am enthusiastic about applying my academic knowledge in software development. I am eager to embark on a career where I can use my technical skills and bring a fresh perspective to contribute to a dynamic development team. 

And here’s an example of a personal statement for a digital marketing graduate:

Digital Marketing CV Personal Statement Example

Having recently earned my Bachelor of Arts in Marketing with a specialization in Digital Marketing, I am eager to launch my career in the fast-evolving digital landscape. I am now eager to contribute my energy, fresh perspective, and dedication to excellence in a professional marketing environment that fosters continuous learning and growth.

This is an example of a law graduate personal statement:

Law Graduate CV Personal Statement Example

As a recent law graduate, I bring a comprehensive understanding of legal principles and a passion for justice. My academic journey has equipped me with strong research, analytical, and communication skills. I am eager to embark on a legal career where I can apply my knowledge to contribute to the pursuit of justice.

#2. Career Change CV Personal Statement Example

Check out an example of a CV personal statement for a transition from finance into data analytics :

Data Analytics CV Personal Statement Example

As a dynamic professional with a successful track record in finance, I am now eager to use my skills to start a new challenge in data analytics. My goal is to use my financial and newly acquired data analytics abilities to contribute to a forward-thinking company seeking to optimize its operations through actionable insights.

Here’s an example of a personal statement for a civil engineer seeking a career change :

Civil Engineer CV Personal Statement Example

After a successful decade in project management within the construction industry, I am excited to redirect my career toward sustainable development and environmental management. Armed with a Master's degree in Civil Engineering, I am eager to bring my proven leadership and technical skills to contribute to a sustainability-focused company looking to drive positive change.

Take a look at the CV personal statement of a software developer transitioning into web design:

Web Design CV Personal Statement Example

With a decade of experience in software development, I am seeking a career change that merges my passion for technology and web design. Having technical experience in coding and a deep understanding of web design trends, I am eager to apply my analytical thinking and technical skills to build attention-grabbing and highly functional web pages.

#3. Internship CV Personal Statement Example

This is an example of a CV personal statement for a marketing internship :

Marketing Internship CV Personal Statement Example

As a highly motivated and creative individual, I am seeking an internship in marketing where I can apply my strong analytical skills and passion for brand promotion. Proficient in social media marketing and content creation, I am eager to contribute fresh perspectives and innovative strategies to enhance the company's online presence. 

Check out a personal statement example for a cyber security internship personal statement:

Cyber Security Internship CV Personal Statement Example

As a dedicated and detail-oriented computer science enthusiast, I am actively seeking an internship in cyber security to apply my strong understanding of network security and information protection. Eager to expand my knowledge of cyber defense strategies and contribute to safeguarding digital assets, I am excited about the prospect of contributing to a dynamic cybersecurity team during my internship.

Check out the CV personal statement of a psychology student:

Psychology Student Internship CV Personal Statement Example

Enthusiastic Psychology student with a deep interest in understanding human behavior and emotions. Through coursework in cognitive psychology and research experience, I've developed analytical and critical thinking skills. Actively involved in campus organizations focused on mental health awareness, I am now seeking internships in the field of counseling or research to apply my academic knowledge to real-world situations.

Here’s what a CV personal statement of an environmental science student looks like:

Environmental Science Internship CV Personal Statement Example

Passionate Environmental Science student dedicated to sustainability and conservation. Through my coursework, I acquired a strong foundation in environmental science. I am actively engaged in campus projects focused on reducing carbon footprint. Eager to contribute my knowledge to real-world environmental initiatives, I am seeking internship opportunities to apply my skills to sustainable practices and conservation efforts.

#4. Experienced Professionals CV Personal Statement Example

Here’s an example of a seasoned finance professional personal statement: 

Finance Professional CV Personal Statement Example

As a seasoned financial analyst with over 10 years of experience in budgeting, forecasting, and financial modeling, I am proficient in optimizing financial processes. I've successfully led cross-functional teams to achieve cost savings of up to 15%. With an MBA in Finance and a proven ability to drive profitability, I am eager to bring my strategic financial expertise to a leadership role.

This is what an experienced marketing executive CV statement should look like:

Marketing Executive CV Personal Statement Example

Accomplished marketing executive with a demonstrated history of driving brand growth in competitive markets. Over 12 years of experience, I developed and executed comprehensive marketing strategies, resulting in a consistent 20% annual increase in market share. I am now seeking a senior leadership position to apply my strategic vision and foster innovation in an innovative company.

 Take a look at the CV personal statement example of an IT project manager :

IT Project Manager CV Personal Statement Example

A seasoned IT project manager with PMP certification and a commitment to staying at the forefront of tech trends. I have a track record of reducing project timelines by 25% and enhancing system efficiency by 30%. Ready for a leadership role, I'm excited to lead a team in overcoming the next technological frontier.

Here’s an example of a human resources director personal statement:

Human Resources Director CV Personal Statement Example

With a decade of experience sculpting positive workplace cultures, I created and implemented HR programs that enhanced employee engagement and retention. Initiatives I've led resulted in a 20% improvement in employee satisfaction and a 15% reduction in turnover. Armed with an SPHR certification, I am excited to bring my strategic HR leadership to a company committed to fostering a positive workplace culture.

#5. Student CV Personal Statement Examples

If you’re a business administration student, this is what your personal statement should look like:

Business Administration Student CV Personal Statement Example

As an ambitious Business Administration student specializing in marketing, I offer a combination of academic achievements and practical skills developed through internships. Eager to apply my knowledge in a dynamic business environment, I am seeking opportunities where I can use my skills and passion for marketing to drive tangible results.

Here’s a graphic design student personal statement example:

Graphic Design Student CV Personal Statement Example

As a Graphic Design student with a creative flair and technical proficiency, I bring a unique blend of design skills acquired through coursework and hands-on projects. Proficient in Adobe Creative Suite and experienced in translating conceptual ideas into visually appealing designs, I am eager to embark on a career in graphic design and apply my artistic talents to contribute to innovative design projects.

#5. Entry-Level CV Personal Statement Examples

Check out a CV personal statement for an entry-level paralegal :

Paralegal CV Personal Statement Example

As a dedicated and detail-oriented recent graduate with an Associate degree in Legal Studies, I am eager to launch a career as a paralegal, bringing strong research, organizational, and communication skills. I am excited to contribute to a dynamic legal team where I can use a solid understanding of legal procedures and a commitment to maintaining the highest ethical standards.

Here’s an example of a virtual assistant CV personal statement:

Virtual Assistant CV Personal Statement Example

Tech-savvy and highly organized professional seeking an entry-level virtual assistant position. With proficiency in office software and platforms, I am well-equipped to handle administrative tasks such as managing calendars and coordinating meetings efficiently. I am eager to contribute my multitasking abilities and proactive approach to help streamline operations and enhance overall productivity in a virtual work environment.

This is what a good entry-level office manager personal statement should look like:

Office Manager CV Personal Statement Example

An enthusiastic and detail-oriented professional with a degree in Business Administration and a strong foundation in office management and administration. Through internships, I demonstrated the ability to coordinate daily operations, manage office supplies, and ensure a smooth workflow. Eager to use my organizational skills and proactive mindset to contribute to a positive and efficient work environment through effective communication and problem-solving.

Take a look at an example of a personal statement for a nurse CV:

Nurse CV Personal Statement Example

A compassionate and dedicated medical professional with an Associate degree in nursing. Through my coursework and clinical rotations, I gained a solid foundation in medical procedures as well as hands-on experience in patient care, medication administration, and treatment planning. I am seeking an opportunity to apply my knowledge and commitment to providing high-quality care.

Final Thoughts

To compel a recruiter to read your curriculum vitae to the very end, you need to grab their attention immediately. The best way to do it is by including a CV personal statement.

Though a bit tricky to write, this brief section of your CV is well worth the effort. Hopefully, our guide will ease the struggle and help you create an eye-catching personal statement and land that dream job!

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Last updated August 7, 2024

Every piece we write is researched and vetted by a former admissions officer. Read about our mission to pull back the admissions curtain.

Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 16 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

16 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Kylie Kistner, MA Former Willamette University Admissions

Key Takeaway

What’s that old saying? “The best way to learn is by doing.” Well, we believe that, in personal statements and in life, cliches like this should be avoided. That's why we recommend reading some example essays before you start writing your own.

Now, before we get into our examples, we should quickly talk about what admissions officers look for in personal statements in the first place.

What does an admissions officer look for in a personal statement?

Before we get to the essays, let’s briefly walk through what goes through an admissions officer’s head when they open an application.

Admissions officers (AOs) read hundreds to thousands of applications in a single year. Different institutions require admissions officers to use different criteria when evaluating applications, so the specifics will vary by school. Your entire application should cohere to form a seamless narrative . You'll be crafting that narrative across the following categories:

• Transcripts and course rigor : AOs look at the classes you’ve taken to assess how much you’ve challenged yourself based on the classes your school offers. They’re also looking at how well you've done in these classes each term.
• Extracurricular activities : When reading through your activities list, AOs look at the activities you’ve done, how many years you’ve participated in them, and how many hours a week you devote to them. They’re assessing your activities for the levels of magnitude, impact, and reach that they demonstrate. (Want to know more about these terms? Check out our extracurricular impact post .)
• Background information : This background information briefly tells admissions officers about demographic and family information, your school context, and any honors or awards you’ve received.
• Letters of recommendation : Letters of recommendation give AOs insight into who you are in the classroom.
• Essays : And, finally, the essays. Whether you’re writing a personal statement or a supplemental essay , essays are the main place AOs get to hear your voice and learn more about you. Your personal statement in particular is the place where you get to lay out your overall application narrative and say something meaningful about your personal strengths.

So, with all that in mind, what does an admissions officer actually look for when reading your personal statement?

A few traits tend to surface across the best personal statements, no matter the topic or format. There are four primary areas you should focus on as you craft your personal statement.

• Strengths : AOs want to know about your strengths. That doesn’t mean bragging about your accomplishments, but it does mean writing about a topic that lets you showcase something positive about yourself.
• Personal meaning : Personal statements shouldn’t be fluff. They shouldn’t be history essays. They should be personal essays that ooze meaning. The topic you choose should show something significant about yourself that the admissions officers won’t get from any other part of your application.
• Authenticity and vulnerability : These characteristics can be the most difficult to achieve. Being “vulnerable” doesn’t mean airing all your dirty laundry. It means revealing something authentic and meaningful about who you are. To be vulnerable means to go beyond the surface level to put yourself out there, even to admissions officers who you’ve never met.
• Clear organization and writing : And lastly, admissions officers also want your essay to be organized clearly so it’s easy to follow along. Remember that admissions officers are reading lots of applications, even in one sitting. So you want to make your reader’s job as easy as possible. Thoughtful and skillful writing can also help take your personal statement to the next level.

If you want to know more about how to incorporate these traits into your own essay, we have a whole guide about how to write the perfect personal statement .

But for now, let’s get into the examples.

We’ve broken up the example personal statements into three categories: best personal statement examples, good personal statement examples, and “bad” personal statement examples. These categories show you that there is a spectrum of what personal statements can look like. The best examples are the gold standard. They meet or exceed all four of the main criteria admissions officers are looking for. The good examples are just that: good. They’re solid examples that may be lacking in a specific area but are still effective personal statements. The “bad” examples are those that don’t yet stack up to the expectations of a personal statement. They’re not objectively bad, but they need some specific improvements to align with what admissions officers are looking for.

Here we go!

The Best Personal Statement Examples

Writing an exceptional personal statement takes a lot of time and effort. Even the best writers can find the genre challenging. But when you strike the perfect chord and get it right, it’s almost like magic. Your essay jumps off the page and captures an admissions officer’s attention. They feel like you’re right there with them, telling them everything they need to know to vote “yes” on your admission.

The following essays are some of our favorites. They cover a range of topics, styles, and student backgrounds. But they all tell meaningful stories about the writers’ lives. They are well-organized, use vivid language, and speak to the writers’ strengths.

For each essay, our team of former admissions officers have offered comments about what makes the essay exceptional. Take a look through the annotations and feedback to see what lessons you can apply to your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #1: Reinvention

For our first example, which we’ve titled “Reinvention,” we’re going to watch Alex break the essay down paragraph by paragraph. This one’s really good. Let’s take a look.

As Alex explains, this essay takes a couple of (very beautiful!) paragraphs to get to its central message: reinvention. Once we reach that turning point, the writer seamlessly introduces us to their engineering interests, then returns again to their mother’s influence. The metaphor of “watermelon rinds” ties everything together. The writer comes across as a clever, thoughtful person—one we would surely want on our campus.

(Want to see more video examples and get personalized application and essay help? Let’s work together. )

Personal Statement Example #2: Thankful

My family has always been broke. Saturday mornings and Thursday evenings, always the same drill: the kids (my brothers and me) would be loaded in the car with my parents and off we’d all go to the food pantry. New clothes were few and far between, and going on vacation was something that we could only dream of. Despite our financial struggles, one year, my parents decided to surprise us with a trip to Disney Land. It was a complete shock to me and my siblings. We were over the moon. In fact, the screams of excitement that emanated from my younger brother’s mouth still ring in my ears.

But as the trip drew close, my excitement tempered and I began to worry. Being poor when you’re young doesn’t just affect you materially. It also affects how you see the world and loads you up with a whole range of anxieties that, in an ideal world, no child should have to face. How were my parents going to afford this, I wondered? Would an expense like this push us over the brink?(( The beginning of this essay, and especially this sentence, show the writer’s empathy. They are not selfish; they understand their broader family context and take that into consideration.)) I didn't want to ruin the surprise by asking, but I couldn't shake the feeling of dread building inside of me.

The day of our trip arrived and we set off for the airport. In the car, my dad made an off-the-cuff comment about a new video game that he’d wanted to play but didn’t buy, and everything clicked—my parents had made the trip possible by saving for months, cutting back on expenses and sacrificing their own comforts to make the trip happen.

As we boarded the plane, I was filled with a mix of emotions. I was grateful beyond words for my parents' sacrifice, but I was also overwhelmed by the guilt of knowing that they had given up so much for us. I didn't know how to express my gratitude; when we deplaned in LAX, I gave my mom and dad a rib-crushing hug.

The trip itself was everything that I had dreamed of and more. We spent four magical days at Disney Land(( Nice use of vivid details here. The reader can picture the sights and smells of Disney—and the ensuing hunger when passing a churro stand.)) , speed running the roller coasters and campy boat rides from the 70s. Sure, we packed our own food and walked right by the churro stands with a hungry look in our eyes. But I will never forget the feeling of unmitigated joy that my family shared on that trip, the smiles that painted my parents’ faces.

But the trip itself was nothing compared to the gratitude I felt for my parents(( Here, the writer transitions to reintroducing the theme of gratitude.)) . They had given us the gift of a lifetime, and I knew that I would never be able to repay them for their sacrifice.

In the years since that trip, I have carried that feeling of gratitude with me. It has motivated me to work hard and to always strive to be the best person that I can be. I want to make my parents proud and to show them that their sacrifice was worth it(( Finally, the writer sums things up with an eye to the future. It’s helpful for an admission officer to picture what the essay’s lessons might mean for the student as a future community member.)) .

I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for what my parents did for us, but I will always remember their selflessness and their willingness to put their own needs aside for the sake of our happiness. It was a truly surprising and incredible act of love, and one that I will always be thankful for.

AO Notes on Thankful

This essay accomplishes a few things even though it essentially tells one story and offers a quick reflection. It gives some important context regarding the challenges of being from a lower-income family. It does that in a way that is authentic, rather than problem-focused. It also shows that the writer is empathetic, family-oriented, and reflective.

Why this essay stands out:

• Vulnerability : This essay is upfront about a challenging topic: financial insecurity. While you don’t have to tell your most difficult challenge in an essay, this writer chose to write about a circumstance that gives additional context that may be helpful as admissions considers their application.
• Personal : The writer gets into some family dynamics and paints a picture of how their family treats and takes care of each other.
• Values: We clearly see some values the writer has and that they don’t take their parents’ sacrifices for granted. As an admission officer, I can picture this student using their education to give back—to their family or to others.

Personal Statement Example #3: Pickleball

I’ve always been one to have a good attitude no matter the circumstances. Except when it comes to exercise. From dodgeball in PE class to family Turkey Trots, I’m always the first one out and the last one across the finish line. These realities aren’t from a lack of skill—I’m actually quite coordinated and fast. They are from a lack of effort(( This is a quick hit of… either humor or vulnerability. I chuckled at the blunt honesty, and am intrigued to learn more.)) . Despite my best intentions, I can never get myself to care about sports or competitions. So when my dad first asked me to be his pickleball partner last summer, I did nothing but laugh.

But soon, I realized that he was serious. My dad started playing pickleball two years ago as a fun way to exercise. He’d become a star in our city’s recreation league, and I always enjoyed cheering him on from the sidelines. When his doubles partner got relocated for work, my dad decided that the disruption was a good opportunity for us bond through pickleball. Even though I was mortified by the thought of running back and forth to hit a bouncing ball, I reluctantly agreed.

The next Saturday morning, we went to the court for our first practice. I was wearing sweatpants, an old sweatshirt, and a grimace. My dad showed me how to hold the paddle, serve, and return the ball to our opponents. He told me about staying out of the kitchen—an endearing pickleball term that references the “kitchen,” or the middle part of the court—trying to make me laugh. Instead, I sighed impatiently and walked to my end of the court, ready to get it over with.

My dad remained patient in spite of my bad attitude. He gently served me the ball, and I gave a lackluster attempt to return it. The ball bounced into the net. I hadn’t even made it to his side of the court. Trying his best to encourage me, my dad gave me the ball so I could serve it to him instead. I tossed the ball up and hit it underhand toward my dad. It hit the net again. I tried again and again, each attempt with less care than the last. I grew frustrated and threw my paddle down in anger(( Okay, this paragraph gives a good dose of openness to the emotions of the writer. They’ve served up an opportunity to learn a lesson soon…)) .

After seeing my mini-meltdown, my dad crossed the kitchen to talk to me. During our conversation, I began to ask myself why I got so frustrated when I wasn’t trying very hard in the first place. I thought pickleball was a miserable sport, but I realized that it wasn’t pickleball that I cared about. I cared about my dad. I wanted to make him proud(( Ah, and there it is! A realization. As the admission officer I’m thinking, “Go on…”)) . Playing pickleball with him was the least I could do to thank him for everything he’d done for me. I dusted off my bad attitude alongside my paddle, and I got up to try another serve.

That serve hit the net again. But more determined now, I kept trying until my serves went over the net and through my dad’s weak side. I couldn’t believe it. My attitude adjustment helped me see the game for what it was: a game. It wasn’t supposed to be agonizing or cruel. It was supposed to be fun.

I learned that my attitude towards sports was unacceptable. This experience taught me that it’s okay to have preferences about what you enjoy, but it’s important to always maintain a positive attitude(( And the lesson learned! )) . You may just enjoy it after all.

Now my dad and I are both stars in our recreation league. Soon, we will make our way to our league’s semi-finals. We’ve worked our way through the bracket and are close to the championship. What I appreciate more about this experience, however, is how close it’s brought my dad and I together. His patience, positivity, and persistence have and will always inspire me. I want to be more like him every day, especially on the pickleball court.

AO Notes on Pickleball

This is a strong “attitude adjustment” essay, a bit of a remix of a challenge essay. The challenge, in this case, was a fixed mindset about sports that needed to be adjusted. The writer takes us on a witty journey through their own attitude towards organized athletic activities and their father.

• Self-aware : Similar to the vulnerability of other essays, this writer is willing to criticize themselves by recognizing that they need an attitude adjustment. Even before they changed their attitude, we get the sense that they are at least aware of their own lack of effort.
• Strong conclusion : We see a nice lesson at the end that relates both to having an open mind and caring for others. They even make a point about simply enjoying things because they are fun.
• Life lesson : Beyond the stated lesson, as an admission officer with a few more years on this Earth than the writer, I can tell this lesson will apply beyond sports. In fact, I can easily picture this student trying a new class, club, or group of friends in college because they are now more open to novel experiences.

Personal Statement Example #4: The Bird Watcher

I’m an avid walker and bird watcher(( Okay, the writer gets right into it! I think this simple introduction of the topic works well because they are writing about a less common hobby among teenagers. If they had said “I am an avid baseball player”, I would have been less eager to learn more.)) . Growing up, I’d clear my head by walking along the trail in the woods behind my house. By the time I was immersed in the chaos of high school, these walks became an afternoon routine. Now, every day at three o’clock, I don my jacket and hiking shoes and set off. As I walk, I note the flora and fauna around me. The wind whispering through the trees, the quiet rustling of a chipmunk underfoot, and the high-pitched call of robins perched atop branches, all of it brings me back to life after a difficult day.

And recently, the days have been more difficult than not. My grandparents passing, parents divorcing, and doctor diagnosing me with ADHD have presented me with more challenges than I’ve ever experienced before. But no matter what’s going on in my life, the wildlife on my walks brings me peace. As an aspiring ornithologist, the birds are my favorite(( This paragraph accomplishes a lot: a montage of difficult circumstances, context for their application, and declares their future career.)) .

I became interested in ornithology during long childhood afternoons spent at my grandparents’ house. They would watch me while my parents finished up work. I’d listen to the old bird clock that hung on the wall in the kitchen. Each number on the clock corresponded with a different bird. Every hour, the clock would chirp rather than chime. When the cardinal sang, I knew my parents would be arriving soon. Those chirps are all seared into my memory.

Twelve o’clock: robin. The short, fast, almost laugh-like sound of the robin always makes me hungry. All those Saturday afternoons filled with laughter and good food have resulted in a Pavlovian response. I’d cook meatballs with my grandma, splashing sauce on her floral wall paper. We’d laugh and laugh and enjoy the meal together at her plastic-covered kitchen table. This wasn’t my home, but I felt at home just the same.

Three o’clock: blue jay. It’d chime as soon as we walked in the door after school. The blue jay was my grandpa’s favorite. It was also mine. Why he loved it, I’m not completely sure. But it was my favorite because it marked the beginning of the best parts of my day. Symbolizing strength and confidence, blue jays always remind me of my grandpa.

Six o’clock: cardinal. The sharp whistle and staccato of the cardinal indicated that it was almost time for me to leave. Like the whistle of a closing shift, I’d hear it and start to pack my things. The cardinal has always been my least favorite.

Nine o’clock: house finch. The high, sweet, almost inquisitive call of the house finch was the one my grandma loved most. It was also the one I rarely heard. Either too early or too late in the day, the house finch was reserved for the occasional weekends when I’d spend the night at their house. My grandma would explain that finches symbolize harmony and peace. They are petite but mighty, just like she was(( This is a clever and sweet way of describing summer days with grandparents, while sprinkling in some vivid details to bring the story to life.)) .

This past weekend was the anniversary of my grandpa’s passing. Longing for my grandparents, I went for a walk. Winter is approaching, so the sky was darkening quickly. I walked slowly. As the sun set, I heard the tell-tale squawk of a blue jay, loud and piercing through the chill of the wind. I looked around and saw it sitting on an old stump, a small house finch behind it. I extracted my binoculars from my backpack, hoping to get a better glimpse through the dark. I turned the dial to focus the lenses, just as the birds flew away together. I took a deep breath, binoculars in hand, and continued on, spotting a robin in the distance(( The ending stylistically wraps the essay up without tying a bow on it. It’s a more artful way of concluding, and it works well here.)) .

AO Notes on Birdwatcher

This first two paragraphs are well-written and fairly to-the-point in their language. They do a nice job of setting the scene, but the third paragraph transitions into the writer’s distinctive voice. They detail the birds on the clock to chronicle the hours of their summer days and end, not without concluding, but leaving the reader wanting to read more of their stories.

• Voice: The writer transitions to writing in their own distinct voice, which comes to a crescendo in the final paragraph.
• Interesting approach: Sometimes students use an approach to tell a story that feels overly forced or cliche. This one feels organic and relates nicely to the writer, their family, and the story as a whole.
• Career path : This is far from a “What I want to be when I grow up” essay, but it clearly shows an academic interest grounded in family and childhood memories. This is an artistic and beautiful approach to showing admissions how the writer may use their college education.

Personal Statement Example #5: Chekov’s Wig

At the age of six, I starred in an at-home, one-woman production of Annie. My family watched as I switched between a wig I’d fashioned from maroon yarn, a dog’s tail leftover from Halloween, and a tie I’d stolen from my dad.

When the reveal came that Annie’s parents had actually passed away, I took a creative liberty: they had left Annie a small unicorn farm. The rest of the play proceeded as normal. When the curtain closed, I bowed to the sound of my family’s applause. But one set of hands was missing: my grandmother’s. Instead she sat, arms raised, and jokingly exclaimed, “But what about the unicorns?”(( Wow, an interesting intro! We see creativity and a silly side to the writer. As the admission officer, I’m eager to see where this leads.))

My grandma, an avid thespian, taught me a lot about life. But one of the most important lessons followed this production of Annie . After we laughed about her remark, she introduced me to the concept of Chekov’s gun. For Anton Chekov, brilliant playwright, the theory goes something like this: a writer shouldn’t write about a loaded gun if it’s not going to be fired. In other words, writers shouldn’t include details about something if it won’t serve a purpose in the story later. My unicorn farm had committed this writing faux pas egregiously.

I’m not a natural writer, and I have no goal to become one, but I’ve taken this concept of Chekov’s gun to heart—it forms the foundation of my life philosophy. I don’t believe that everything was meant to be(( This philosophical reflection is a nice introduction to the paragraphs that follow. )) . In fact, I think that sometimes bad things just happen. But I believe that these details will always play a part in our larger story.

The first test of my Chekov’s gun philosophy occurred shortly after Annie when my grandma, my biggest supporter, passed away. My family tried to console me saying that “it was her time to go,” but I disagreed. I couldn’t see how a death could be destined. Instead, I found comfort knowing that her presence, her support, and her death wasn’t for nothing. Like Chekov’s gun, I wasn’t quite sure how or why, but I knew that she would return for me.

As I grew older, my philosophy was tested time and again. Most recently, I fell back on Chekov’s gun as I coped with my parents’ divorce and my subsequent move to a new town. Both events shattered my world. My happy family theatre productions turned into custody hearings and overnight bags. The community I’d found at my old school became a sea of unfamiliar faces at my new one. None of this was meant to be. But as the writer of my own life, I won’t let the details become inconsequential.

I’ve used these events as plot points in my high school experience. Dealing with my parents’ divorce has taught me how to make the best of what’s given to me. I got the chance to decorate two bedrooms, live in both the suburbs and the city, and even have twice the amount of pets. And without the inciting incident of the divorce and move(( We see that the writer is able to make lemonade out of lemons here.)) , I never would have joined a new drama club or landed leading roles in Mama Mia and Twelfth Night. The divorce and move, like Chekov’s gun, have been crucial details in getting me where I’m at today.

I know that Chekov’s gun is more about the details in a story, but this philosophy empowers me to take what happens, the good and the bad, as part of my personal character development. Nothing would be happening if it weren’t important.

This summer, as we cleaned our garage in preparation for yet another move, I found my old Annie wig, yarn tangled from the box. Next to the wig was a note, handwritten in a script I’d recognize anywhere. My darling star, it read. You are going to go on to do great things. Love, Grandma ((And a sweet, or bittersweet, conclusion.)) .

AO Notes on Chekov’s Wig

This essay tells a beautiful story about a foundational philosophy in this young writer’s life. As their admission officer, I can see how grounded and positive they are. I can also imagine them taking this lesson to college: really paying attention to life, reflecting on the past, and understanding the value of even the smallest instances. There is an inherent maturity in this essay.

• Creativity: From the first few sentences, we can see that this student is now, and was as a child, creative. An original thinker.
• Reflective: When challenged by their grandmother, the writer didn’t insist that their way was correct. They took the criticism in stride and absorbed it as a salient life lesson. This shows open-mindedness and an uncommon level of maturity.
• Silver linings: It’s clear that this young writer has had some familial challenges that are likely familiar to some of you. They don’t gloss over them, but instead they learn from them. From having more pets to starring in the school musicals, there are lessons to glean from even life’s more difficult challenges.

Personal Statement Example #6: An Afternoon with Grandmother

The Buddhist temple on the hillside above my home has always possessed a deep power for me. With its towering spires and intricate carvings thousands of years old, it is a place of peace and serenity(( This writer opens with some wonderful imagery. I like how the imagery mirrors the meaning.)) —somewhere I can go to escape the chaos of the world and connect with myself and with my sense of spirituality. When my grandmother called me one January to let me know that she would be coming to visit, I smiled, my mind darting immediately to the temple and to the visit of it we would take together.

My relationship with my grandmother is a special one. After my parents passed away, she and my grandfather raised me for three years before I moved in with my father’s sister. In that time, she was my sole companion; she shared her recipes with me, told me stories, and most importantly, she taught me everything I know about spirituality. We spent countless nights staying up past bed-time, talking about the teachings of the Buddha, and she encouraged me gently to explore my own path to enlightenment(( This topic is accomplishing a lot: we see the writer’s relationship with their grandmother, their personal values, and their ideas about who they want to be in the future.)) .

When my grandmother finally arrived, I felt bathed in a warm glow. After catching up and preparing her favorite meal—red rice with miso soup and hot green tea—I told her about the plans I had for us to visit my special place.

Later that afternoon, as we entered the temple, I felt the calmness and tranquility wash over me. I took my grandmother's hand and led her to the main hall, where we knelt before the altar and began to recite the prayers and mantras that I had learned from her years before.

As we prayed, our voices joined together, echoing throughout the temple. A gentle rain began to fall outside and, as the cold crept around where we knelt, I was engulfed by a deep sense of connection with my grandmother and with the universe. It was as if the barriers between us were falling away, and we were becoming one—with each other, and with our shared connection to the divine.

We finished our prayers and sat in silence, lingering in the serenity of the temple. I could feel my grandmother's hand in mine, and I was filled with a sense of gratitude and love(( A great example of weaving vivid language with explicit reflection!)) .

Spirituality has been essential in my life. It gives me a sense of grounding and purpose, and it teaches me the value of compassion. My spirituality has also given me a way to connect with my grandmother on a deeper level—like a private language that only we speak together. In a world that can often feel chaotic and disconnected, faith and spirituality provide a sense of stability and connection.

As we left the temple, I held my grandmother's hand and felt suffused by a sense of peace and contentment. Too often people who are disconnected from spirituality misunderstand the role it plays in billions of people’s lives. They see it as a way to “check out” from the issues the world faces, ignoring their responsibilities to others. This may be true for others, but not me. Quite the opposite. My spirituality helps me empathize with others(( Wonderful reflection.)) ; it helps me focus on the obligations we each have to every other person and creature on this planet. For me, it is the ultimate way to “check in” to the needs of the world and my community in a way that grounds me emotionally.

Spirituality offers a way to find meaning and purpose in life, and to connect with something greater than ourselves. For that, and for my grandmother, I am truly grateful.

AO Notes on An Afternoon with Grandmother

In this deeply reflective essay, the writer uses spirituality and their relationship with their grandmother to reveal a very personal part of themselves. The writer isn’t afraid to be vulnerable, and they clearly showcase strengths of wisdom and compassion.

• Vivid language: This author is a talented writer who has included a bunch of vivid language. But it’s not over the top. They include just enough to hold a reader’s attention and add some interest.
• Reflection: The reflection throughout this essay is excellent. Notice how it’s not just at the beginning or the end. It’s woven throughout. The writer follows up each major detail with an explanation of why it’s personally meaningful.
• Conclusion: The conclusion combines vivid language and reflection perfectly. By the end of the essay, we know exactly what the writer wants us to take away: spirituality is personally meaningful to them because it helps them connect with the people around them. And I especially like how the writer chose to end on a note of gratitude—always a good value to have in a personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #7: Rosie’s

While most people find their lowest point at rock bottom, I found mine in an Amerikooler DW081677F-8(( We’re definitely off to an odd start. I’m curious where this is headed!)) . With drops rolling down my back and my cheeks, I snuck into the walk-in freezer for a moment of chill.

At that point, I had worked at Rosie's for nearly a year. The job was a good one: it fit with my school schedule, paid well, and introduced me to close friends. But as a workplace, Rosie’s was pure chaos. The original owners passed on a host of problems the new owners were working hard to fix. But the problems ran deep. From an inefficient kitchen organization to a malfunctioning scheduling software, we never knew what to do or when.

The day I found myself in the Amerikooler was the day everything caught up with us(( This is a good transitional phrase that helps readers navigate this fairly complex narrative.)) . An error in our scheduling software led to us operating with only 30% of our typical team. As the only waitress on duty, I ran between the kitchen and the guests, stopping mid-delivery to put new vegetables in the steamers. The kitchen staff were barely getting through each dish before customers lost patience.

Then, in all the commotion, I dropped a plate of macaroni and cheese all over a customer. I apologized over and over again. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I couldn’t believe what I had done. I always tried to be one step ahead to give my customers the best service, so my mistake felt like an utter failure. After helping them clean up, I ran immediately to the freezer. I realized that something had to change.

In the Amerikooler, a pea and corn mix cool on my back, I considered my options. The easiest option was to quit. I could find another job, one that didn’t cause me so much stress. But quitting wouldn’t just mean giving up. It would mean accepting my failure. It would also mean abandoning the coworkers I had grown close to. Leaving them would only burden them more. While I knew it wasn’t my job to fix the restaurant, I knew that leaving wasn’t the answer either. Instead, I decided to focus on solutions(( I like the focus on solutions and action steps here!)) . I stood up from the cold, dirty freezer floor, dusted off my work pants, washed my hands, and got back to work.

Despite being the newest and youngest member of the Rosie’s staff, I recognized that I brought a new perspective to the workplace. Having spent the previous three summers scheduling volunteers for my local food drive, I used my organizing experience to devise a new scheduling system, one that didn’t rely on our outdated technology. I brought up the system at our weekly meeting, and after initial pushback, everyone agreed to give it a try. Three months later, my system keeps everyone happy and our kitchen and floor staffed.

But it wasn’t just the staffing problem that was the issue. Our workflows were inefficient, and we didn’t know how to communicate or collaborate effectively. I know that identifying an issue is always the first step to a solution, so I raised the question at our most recent staff meeting. Having earned my coworkers’ and bosses’ trust(( And here we see some good growth and leadership.)) , I led us in outlining a few new processes to streamline our productivity. In stark contrast to the failure I felt after spilling the macaroni and cheese, developing a new workflow with my coworkers made me proud. I hadn’t given in to the chaos, but I had worked thoughtfully and collaboratively to create new solutions.

I’m sure that won’t be my last time working in a disorganized environment or spilling macaroni and cheese. But I know that I’ll be ready to address whatever comes my way.

AO Notes on Rosie’s

If you’ve ever worked in a food establishment, then something in this essay will probably resonate with you. But I appreciate how the writer doesn’t get pulled into the negativity they experience. Instead, they focused their efforts (and their essay) on how they could make things better for everyone. That’s the kind of student admissions officers want to see on their campuses.

• Organization: The writer has to narrate and backtrack a bit at the beginning of the essay to make the introduction work. But it’s not confusing for a reader because they have very solid transitions. I also like how the action steps and reflection are organized in the narrative.
• Positive outlook: As an admissions officer, I would admire this student for their problem-solving skills. Working in that environment was surely tough, but they didn’t give up. They got to work and helped everyone out in the process.
• Humor: From the introduction to the conclusion, the writer incorporates subtle humor throughout. Because of it, we actually feel like we know the writer by the conclusion. Too much humor can overwhelm a personal essay, but just enough can help readers see who the writer really is.

Personal Statement Example #8: Gone Fishing

I pulled the line with my left hand and snapped the rod back with my right. The line split through the air above me like a knife through cake. I rigidly waved my right arm up and down to dry off my fly, which had started sinking from the weight of the water. Ready to cast, I loosened the grip on my left hand to release a few more feet of line, pulled my right arm back in a grandiose motion, and hammered it back down. I expected my line to fly out in front of me, gracefully floating back onto the surface of the water. Instead, I was met with a startling resistance. My fly had lodged itself into the bush behind me(( This opening paragraph has great vivid description. Here, we end on a moment of suspense that has left me intrigued about what will happen next.)) .

Annoyed, I waded through the tall, thick grass, rod under my arm and mosquitoes buzzing in my ears. This was the reality of fly fishing. In my short time as a fisherman, I’d caught far more trees, bushes, and riverweed than I had fish. What seems so elegant in movies like A River Runs Through It is actually a grueling process of trial and error. I took up flyfishing a year ago to conquer my fear of the outdoors(( Ah ha—we learn that this essay isn’t really about fly fishing. It’s about conquering a fear. And with that, we see that the stakes are high.)) . I could have (and probably should have) chosen a more mild activity like hiking or kayaking, but I’ve always been one to take on a challenge.

I had been afraid of the outdoors since childhood. Coming from a family that prefers libraries to parks and bed and breakfasts to tents, I never learned how to appreciate nature. I limited my time outside as much as I could. I feared the bugs, the sun, and the unknown.

I decided to try flyfishing when I realized I didn’t want to be controlled by my fear any longer(( As an AO, I would applaud this student’s bravery.)) . All the birthday parties I’d turned down, the memories that were made without me, I had missed out on so much. Being outside was an integral part of the human experience—or, at least, that’s what I’d been told. Without being willing to enjoy nature, I was missing out on what it meant to be myself.

Soon after this realization, I found an old rod in my grandpa’s garage and took it as a sign from the universe. On my first time out, my Honda Civic lurched over a ditch on the gravel road Google Maps had directed me to. I’d spent hours watching YouTube videos of proper technique. Stepping out of my car, I felt my skin crack under the dry heat, and I wanted to leave. But I continued on, walking through branches and over logs to the riverbank. I was doing it( More vivid detail that really gives us a sense of the writer’s discomfort—yet they’re persisting.)) .

I pushed myself to continue, no matter how uncomfortable I got. I went back, Saturday after Saturday, each time noticing improvements in my abilities. Along the way, I learned to push myself to do things that make me uncomfortable. I saw myself in a new light. I wasn’t Charlie, afraid of the outdoors. I was Charlie, fisherman.

The first time I caught a fish, I could hardly believe it. Thinking I had caught another piece of riverweed, I tugged on my line and rolled my eyes. But suddenly, it started tugging back. It was a sensation I’d never experienced before, one of haste, pride, and panic. I instantly collected myself, bracing against the bank as I secured the line with my finger and slowly pulled the fish ashore. Delicately removing my hook from its mouth, I admired its beauty. Whereas I had once feared creatures like this trout, I now respected it. Its holographic scales glistened in the sunlight. I thanked it for helping me grow, and I placed it back in the water. It swam away. I wiped the slime off my hands and picked up my rod, left hand tugging at the line, right hand snapping back again((This conclusion is quite long, but I really like this poetic ending. It shows so much growth, and there’s a subtle nod to the fact that the writer is continuing to fish.)) .

AO Notes on Gone Fishing

From all this imagery, I really felt like I was fishing alongside them. What’s better, I feel like I really get where this student is coming from because of their vulnerability. They show immense growth and open-mindedness, which is exactly what admissions officers are looking for.

• Imagery: This writer definitely likes creative writing. From the introduction, we can envision ourselves going on this journey with the writer. There is some excellent “show, don’t tell” here.
• Deep personal meaning: Biggest fears are hard to overcome, especially with such a good attitude. It’s clear that this topic is a meaningful one to the writer. Even the act of fly fishing, which they didn’t seem to like much at first, becomes a meaningful act.
• Narrative arc: We have a classic “going on a journey” essay, where the writer transforms on a journey from point A (being afraid of the outdoors) to point B (catching a fish). The writer’s implementation of this structure is excellent, which makes the essay easy to follow.

Good Personal Statement Examples

Even if your essay isn’t worthy of The New Yorker , you can still make your mark on admissions officers. Writing an essay that fulfills all the goals of a personal statement, whether or not it meets every single criterion an admissions officer is looking for, can still get you into a great college.

Most personal statements are good personal statements, so don’t worry if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the amazing essay examples you see online. The key to writing a good personal statement is writing your personal statement. Focus on finding a topic that lets you communicate your own meaning and voice, and you’ll be set.

The following examples are awesome personal statements. There may be a little room for improvement in places, but the essays do exactly what they need to do. And they say a lot about their writers. Let’s see what the writers and admissions officers have to say.

Personal Statement Example #9: Beekeeper’s Club

As I lift the heavy lid of the hive, the hum of thousands of bees fills my ears. I carefully smoke the entrance to calm the bees, and I begin to inspect the frames. The bees are busy at work, collecting nectar and pollen, and tending to their young. I am in awe of their organization.

I never would have thought that I, a high school student, would become a beekeeper(( An interesting hobby for a high school student! I’m intrigued to see where this is going.)) . But now it’s something I can’t imagine my life without.

It all started when I found a beekeeping suit at a garage sale two summers ago. At a mere five dollars, it was yellowing and musty, but it appeared to be fully intact and without any holes. I’ve lived many lives as a hobbyist, always willing to try new things. I’ve been a sailor, a gardener, a basketball player, a harpist, a rock climber, and more. The problem is that I can never manage to see these hobbies through(( I see. Here we get a sense of what’s at stake in this new venture. The problem is that writer can’t seem to hold down a hobby. Will beekeeping solve that problem? Let’s find out .)) . As a perpetual novice, I always lose interest or become overwhelmed by all the information. But that’s never stopped me from taking up a new hobby, so I brought the beekeeping suit to the make-shift register and handed the seller a five-dollar bill.

To embark on my new hobby, I first went to the library and read everything I could find about beekeeping. Research is always my first step when starting something new. I like to know what I’m in for. As I read, I became fascinated by the fact that such small creatures can serve such a critical role on our planet. I learned about the importance of bees for pollinating crops, and I read that their populations have been declining in recent years. I was determined to do my part to help. This wasn’t just a hobby anymore— it was a mission(( And the stakes just got higher.)) .

But like the bees I’d been reading about, I knew I couldn't do it alone. My years of abandoning hobbies had taught me that this time, I needed guidance from someone with experience. I knew the first place to look. At the farmer’s market that Saturday, I went straight to the honey stand and introduced myself. The vendor’s name was Jeremy, and he was excited to see someone so young taking up beekeeping. I asked if I could come see his hives sometime, and he agreed.

I showed up the next weekend with my used beekeeping suit in hand. Jeremy gave me a tour. I was astounded by the simultaneous simplicity and complexity. As the months went by, Jeremy became my mentor. He taught me the importance of monitoring the health of the hive, how to properly harvest honey, and even the ins and outs of the farmer’s market business.

I was grateful for his guidance and friendship. I found myself becoming more and more passionate about bees and the art of beekeeping.

After months of tending to my hive, I finally had it up and running. These bees were in my care(( The writer has shown us that they’ve learned a big lesson from their past failures: they need support and guidance. I’m impressed that this time they are making an intentional change.)) —this was one hobby I couldn’t abandon. With that knowledge and Jeremy’s support, one hive grew to five. I’m not in it for the money or even the honey. I’m in it for the bees, for the millimeter of difference I’m making in their lives and in the life of the earth.

Through beekeeping, I have found a community of people who share my love for bees. Jeremy, the bees, and the entire beekeeping community have taught me not to quit. We support each other, share tips and advice, and work together to help protect these important insects. And in the process, I have learned that I can take up any new hobby I want and stick with it if I just put in enough effort(( Yep—the writer has come out of this journey on the other side, having learned that their effort does pay off.)) .

AO Notes on Beekeeper’s Club

As an admissions officer, it’s always fun to read about students’ eccentric hobbies. I’d count this as one of them. But what’s better than learning about the hobby is seeing a student’s personal growth.

What makes this essay good:

• Personal journey: Most good personal statements show some kind of personal growth. In this case, we see that the writer has grown mature and aware enough to hold down a hobby. We see that it wasn’t an easy road, but they got there.
• Strengths: There are lots of strengths in this personal statement. We see self-awareness, initiative, teamwork, and care for the bees and the planet.
• Reflection: Part of what makes this personal journey so good is that the writer takes us on the journey with them through reflection. At each stage of the journey, we know exactly what the writer is thinking and feeling. By the end, we’re celebrating their success with them.

What the writer could do to level up:

• Personal meaning: Yep, “personal journey” and “personal meaning” can be two separate things. Although the writer goes on a great personal journey, the personal meaning seems to be lacking a bit. It’s clear that this is an important topic to the writer, but it doesn’t exactly come across as an especially vulnerable one. The writer could make it more vulnerable by incorporating more personal meaning into their reflection: what would it have meant if they had quit beekeeping too? What’s the problem with dropping hobbies in the first place? Why is it personally important to learn to stick with things?

Personal Statement Example #10: Ann

Pushing her blonde curls from her forehead, she pursed her lips in focus(( This vivid, detailed description really draws me in.)) . She sat with legs crossed across the kitchen chair. This was it: the moment she’d been preparing for. Her tiny hand gripped the pencil as if it were a stick of dynamite and twitched her fingers up, down, and back again. She looked up at me and smiled, teeth too big for her growing mouth. “Ann,” the paper read. As I glowed back at my mini-me, I saw in her my whole heart(( And here the focus switches from Ann to the writer—an important transition.)) .

My sister was technically an accident, born when I was eleven years old. But I know that, in the grand scheme of things, Ann’s existence was destined by the cosmos. Watching her write was like looking in a mirror. My hair has long since turned brown, but she and I deal with the same unmanageable curls. Her toothy grin developed over five years of mutual laughter. And she got that unwavering focus from watching me do my own homework each night. At the same time I’ve taught her the ways of the world, she’s taught me joy, patience, and persistence(( Lessons learned! This sentence really draws attention to the main theme. It could be a little more specific because “joy, patience, and persistence” are almost cliche.)) .

I had been an only child for my first decade of life. I remember being lonely and without purpose. With Ann came the opportunity to make a real impact on someone, even as a child myself. The night she was born, I vowed to protect her. I had never seen anyone so small and fragile, and I begged my parents to let me hold her. Next to mine, her hand looked like a doll’s. It was purple and pink from the ordeal of birth. Her eyes barely opened, but I couldn’t keep mine off her.

Many older siblings find their younger siblings to be nuisances. But Ann has always been my best friend. Her first two years of life, she struggled with health issues that scared us all. I felt helpless and afraid, but I knew I had to fight alongside her. I did everything I could: I grabbed diapers and bottles for my parents, I talked to her for hours on end, and, when she was old enough, I spoon fed her and encouraged her to eat. As Ann grew bigger and stronger, I grew stronger, too(( It sounds like this was a really difficult challenge for the writer and their family. I appreciate this picture we get of the writer in relation to Ann.)) .

Each year has gotten better than the previous. I was there to catch Ann when she took her first steps, teach her her first words, and get her dressed every day. She tagged behind me as I took photos before my first dance, got my learner’s permit, and went on my college tours. While being a teen with a toddler sibling wasn’t always perfect, Ann’s mere presence makes those around her feel loved and appreciated. She’s exactly who I aspire to be.

Watching her write her name at the kitchen table, I became overwhelmed with the thought of leaving her to head off to college. She still has so much to learn, so many ways to grow. But just as the thought entered my mind, she spoke in her high-pitched and innocent voice. “When you go to college,” she asked, “will you tell me about your classes?” I blinked away the tears gathering in my eyes, smoothed her curls with my hand, and pulled her in close.

Going to college won’t mean leaving Ann. It will mean opening her world—and mine—to endless new knowledge and possibilities. She’ll grow and change, and so will I. When we reunite, we’ll smile our toothy smiles and embrace each other, our curly hair intertwining. We’ll sit at the kitchen table, focused and laughing, like nothing has changed(( I like how the siblings are continuing to grow together, but at the end of the day, they still have their amazing relationship.)) .

AO Notes on Ann

I always find sibling essays like this one so sweet. It’s amazing how clearly we can understand someone solely through their interactions with a loved one. As an admissions officer, I would see that this student would be a great community member (and roommate!).

• Deeply meaningful: Especially with the family context, it’s apparent that this topic is deeply meaningful to the writer. Because it’s so meaningful a topic, the writer is able to show an immense amount of care for Ann without even trying. AOs love seeing traits like care, maturity, and the ability to grow.
• Clear message: Personal statements should have themes that encompass the main message the writer wants to convey. This essay’s message is clear as day: the writer is a better, happier, more generous person because of Ann. They are an awesome sibling.
• More about the self: This one’s tricky because we get an implicit sense of who the writer is now through the overall tone and meaning. But a lot of the personal examples the writer chose are old examples from childhood and early adolescence. Some of those are important to provide family context, but I still would have liked to get a more recent picture of the writer.

Personal Statement Example #11: Running through My Neighborhood

My mind and eyes began to wander as I turned the corner on my fourth mile. I’ve always been a runner. It's a way for me to relax and challenge myself. Running makes me feel like I’m one with the world around me. As I run, I can't help but be struck by the beauty of the buildings and people that make up my city. Each is a work of art—a carefully-crafted expression of my community. With every step, I feel a deep connection to the life around me(( This introduction covers a lot, so this last sentence could be a bit more specific.)) .

On my run, I find myself drawn to the intricate details of the buildings. I admire the way the light catches on centuries-old bricks, casting shadows that dance across the pavement below. I look up at the skyscraper windows that nearly touch the sky, frightened at the sight of window washers. Old and new, the buildings all carry stories.

In the same way, I admire the neighbors around me. I see them feeding pigeons, smiling at me as I pass by. They’re walking dogs and babies, talking on a park bench, and playing hopscotch. I run by them, fast but steady, and breathe it all in. I’m on this beautiful city block, surrounded by people whose whole lives are familiar yet mysterious, and I’m running.

But it's not just the aesthetic beauty of the buildings that grabs my attention. As I run, I find myself thinking about the stories and histories behind each one. I wonder about the people who built them, the families they had at home, the lives they led. I think about the people who have lived and worked in these buildings and the memories that have been made within their walls.

Take the local bakery, for instance. I’ve run by there a thousand times in my life, each time soaking up the smell of freshly-baked bread and pastries. The building seems unassuming at first, with a simple glass door and brick façade. But once you step foot inside, you’re immediately hit with the warmth of the staff and patrons. The old photos on the wall and cozy furniture that has been there since the bakery’s opening back in the 1950s—it feels like home(( These are great vivid details.)) . The bakery is everything I value about my neighborhood. It completely represents what kind of neighbor I want to be. Plus, it’s not a bad place for a post-run snack.

Through my runs, I’ve also made connections with those who frequent the sidewalks alongside me. One of the people I see regularly on my runs is Mrs. Carter, an elderly woman who always has a kind word and a smile for everyone she meets. Her white hair is carefully curled, and her face is dimpled with laugh lines from thousands of conversations like ours. She often stops to chat with me, asking how my day is going and sharing stories from her own life. I always look forward to seeing her. She’s like the grandmother I never had. Mrs. Carter inspires me to be a better community member every day(( This kind of reflection brings the focus back to the writer’s personal journey.)) .

Running through my neighborhood is about more than just staying fit. It’s also about being in community with those around me. As I weave through the people on the sidewalk, I feel as though I am weaving myself through their stories, picking up tidbits and adding them to my own narrative. I wouldn’t be who I am today without these runs that have taught me so much. I can’t wait to run across my college campus, admiring my new surroundings and meeting my new neighbors(( I like this gesture to the future—as an AO, I would start to picture this student running through my campus, too!)) .

AO Notes on Running through My Neighborhood

Running essays can get a bad rap in college admissions. But this one overcomes that stereotype. At its core, this essay is about the runner’s relationship to their community. I really appreciate how much care and enthusiasm this writer shows for those around them.

• Writing: The writer’s voice shines through. They have great vivid descriptions, and we’re really able to envision ourselves in the neighborhood alongside them.
• Personal meaning: The way the writer describes those they encounter in their neighborhood shows that this isn’t a minor part of their life. Their runs are a big deal. The people they see along the way have greatly shaped who they are.
• Greater focus on self: Now, there are much worse culprits when it comes to personal essays that focus on people other than the writer. But the writer does toe the line. Their descriptions mostly focus on those around them, and while there is some reflection that connects their own experience to other people, it doesn’t actually take up much space in the essay. To level up, the writer could make this essay more about themself.

Personal Statement Example #12: Musical Installation Art

As a child, I was always drawn to stringed instruments(( The hook could have more punch, but this gets the job done.)) . I would pluck at my dad's old guitars, create makeshift harps with dental floss, and even play around with the banjo and harp in music class. As I got older, I realized that I wanted to focus on making my own instruments. And where better to start than in my dad's scrapyard? The yard sprawled out for almost five acres behind our house. It was a marvel of junk and oddities, with the accumulated garbage from hundreds of junker cars built up in our backyard. I grew up playing there, leading a childhood that most parents would probably see as reckless—rolling tires through narrow alleyways between crushed cars stacked high. But for me, the backyard was an endless playground for my imagination.

It was there that I discovered the joys of welding and soldering. I would rummage through piles of metal and find pieces that I could fashion into something new. My first sculptures were simple, resembling birds or dogs and pieced together from strips of metal. I’d look for similar art everywhere I went, grasping for inspiration. At a fair one weekend, I saw a booth run by an artist who built guitars. After speaking with him about his art, he asked to see a picture of my sculptures. I showed him and explained that I hoped to make my own instruments one day, too. He scuttled to the back of his tent and returned with a gift: a set of thick copper strings. “Try using those,”(( What an endearing story.)) he told me.

My first sculpture instrument was a crude thing—little more than a board of metal with pegs that I used to pull the copper strings tight. But I tightened them, I was in love—spending all night plucking away. At first, the instrument wailed and screeched. String by string, I delicately tuned the wires into sirens. I had created something that played music, and I was so proud.

My experience building the instrument motivated me to enroll in a sculpture class at the local community college. It was there that I learned how to properly solder metal and create more complex structures. For my final project, I made a three-foot-tall, four-stringed metal instrument in the shape of a dragon.

But as I worked, I started to realize that my dragon wasn't going to be beautiful in the traditional sense. Its metal body was jagged and uneven, and the strings were stretched tight across its back in a way that produced discordant, almost abrasive music. I tried to adjust the tuning, but no matter what I did, the music remained harsh and unpleasant.

At first, I was disappointed. I wanted my dragon to be a work of art, something that people would marvel at and love listening to. But as I continued to play with it, I started to see the beauty in the chaos(( This paragraph shows wonderful growth. And as a reader, I’m drawn in trying to imagine what the sculpture actually looks like.)) . The music it produced was like a musical language that I had invented, one that was wild and untamed. It was a reflection of my own creativity and individuality. A discordant collection of notes that sounded like they’d been tuned so as to be atonal. But I didn't care. I was a scrapyard kid, and this dragon played the song of my people: strong, innovative, and beautiful.

The combination of sculpture and music fascinates me. How does the shape of a fabrication affect the kind of sound that the object produces? What sounds do different materials produce? As I’ve learned more about sculpture, I’ve also become interested in installation art that has sound dimensions. I want to capture people’s visual and aural attention to inspire questions about how we navigate the aesthetic world(( It sounds like this topic potentially relates to the student’s future goals. If that’s true, there could be a clearer academic connection here.)) . And I’ll use whatever scraps I can find to make my creations.

AO Notes on Musical Installation Art

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a piece of musical installation art myself, so this topic really held my attention. I appreciate the journey the writer went on to learn that their art may not look like everyone else’s, but it can be just as impactful.

• Topic: I like this topic not only because it’s not one you see every day but also because it lets the writer reveal a lot about themself and their background. We see where they grew up and who they grew up with, and we also learn about this deeply meaningful personal interest.
• Writing style: This author has a very distinct writing style. In some ways, the writing style mirrors their art style—abrupt at times, melodic at others.
• Organization: The first half of this essay doesn’t always match up with the second half. Even though we’re still able to see the writer’s journey as a metal artist and musician, there’s still a bit of streamlining that needs to happen.

Personal Statement Example #13: Ski Patrol

I can never get enough of being in the mountains(( This hook isn’t very compelling, so it could use some more attention.)) . I am a skier through and through. Growing up, I spent countless family vacations on the slopes with my dad and siblings. I love the rush I get speeding down the mountain—I’ve improved so much over my life that I can now handle most runs I come across. But last year, I took my love for skiing to a whole other level by joining ski patrol.

It was mid-December, and my family had decided to take a weekend away to go skiing. Everything was going normally at first. We had a good day on the slopes and wanted to go one more run before calling it a night. We took a moment to rest and watched the person in front of us go. Only seconds after she headed down the mountain, something happened with her ski. She catapulted into a nearby tree. People raced to check on her, while we stayed back and alerted ski patrol.

When ski patrol arrived, I watched in amazement. They moved in such a precise way. They were like a machine—everyone knew exactly what to do when. Thankfully, it was a false alarm and the skier only had a few scratches. But my own life was changed forever. I knew then that I wanted to be a part of this team, to help others in a tangible way and to make a difference on the mountain that had always been my home.

As soon as I could, I applied for the Junior Ski Patrol team. I had to go through a tryout process on the hill, which made me nervous. But it felt good to be surrounded by people who loved skiing as much as I do. Thankfully, I was accepted shortly after; it was one of the best days of my life. Now on Junior Ski Patrol, I have the opportunity to do what I love – skiing – while also making a positive impact on others(( And here we get to the heart of the essay. The writer wants to help others while doing something they love. It’s a noble pursuit!)) . My team shadows the adult Ski Patrol, and we learn a lot of lessons along the way.

On the mountain (and in life), you never know what challenges might arise. One of the most important things I’ve learned from Junior Ski Patrol is to be prepared for anything. I’ve gotten my CPR and first aid certifications so I’m always prepared to administer life-saving care to anyone who might need it. I know how to pack a bag full of enough essentials to survive harsh weather or injuries.

But ski patrol has also taught me so much more than just how to help others. It has shown me how I work best on a team. I’m not naturally a leader, which is something I’ve always felt ashamed about. After learning from our mentors who all fulfill different roles on their adult Ski Patrol team, I realized that I don’t have to be a leader to be a good team member. The quiet collaborators who can follow the lead, take initiative when needed, and do their jobs really well are just as important as the people who are front-and-center(( An important personal insight.)) .

Being on ski patrol as a high school student has been an incredible journey, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of such a dedicated team. More importantly, I’m proud of the growth I’ve experienced. I went from a person who just loves skiing to a person who is more confident in herself. I no longer feel unprepared or timid. I know exactly how to keep myself safe and work alongside others. While I don’t want to be a professional Ski Patroller or even go into medicine, I know these lessons will serve me well wherever life takes me(( As an AO, I would have been wondering if being on JSP made them want to study medicine, so I appreciate that they answered it for me!)) . But no matter where I end up, when the mountain calls, you know I’ll answer.

AO Notes on Ski Patrol

In this fun hobby-meets-accomplishment essay, the writer shows us their strengths of care and teamwork. I like the crossover between something that they really enjoy and this impressive accomplishment they have of being on Junior Ski Patrol.

• Lessons learned: The writer makes it very clear what lessons they learned from Junior Ski Patrol. Lessons don’t always have to be this explicit, but I appreciate how the writer really takes the time to reflect on what they’ve learned.
• Personal insight: Okay, this point is related to the lessons learned. But it’s important to draw out on its own because personal essays are, of course, personal. This topic easily could have been just about skiing down a mountain or administering first aid on patrol. Instead, the writer kept the focus inward to meet the expectations of a personal essay.
• What’s at stake?: We do get a good sense of personal meaning. But the writer could do a better job of speaking to the significance of this activity to their life. A good question to ask is, “What’s at stake?” What would I have lost or gained if this story had turned out differently? Asking these questions can also help you figure out what it is that you want an admissions officer to learn from your personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #14: The Regulars

One pump of vanilla syrup. Frothed milk. One espresso shot. Caramel drizzle(( Starting with some version of the following sentence would have been a stronger hook.)) . Like a scientist at her bench, I have methodically repeated these steps four days a week for the past two years. During my time as a Starbucks barista, I’ve learned hundreds of recipes and customizations. I know all the secret menu hacks, and I’ve developed several recipes for friends and family too. I pride myself on speed, quality, and memory. My favorite part of the job is the customer service. As one of the busiest locations in the region, I’ve caffeinated thousands. But it’s my regular customers, those whose orders I know like the back of my hand, who have truly impacted me.

Venti Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew, hold the vanilla syrup. A busy mom of four, Chelsea is always in a hurry. I try to catch her the moment she enters the store so I can get started right away. Her Venti drink fuels her through school dropoffs and pickups, gymnastics lessons, and evening math homework. Throughout my conversations with her, I’ve learned that Chelsea is a scheduling virtuoso. As someone with ADHD(( This paragraph is almost too much about Chelsea, so this sentence is crucial to bring the focus back to the writer.)) , I became so inspired by her ability to juggle so many people and schedules simultaneously. After asking her for advice, she helped me find a time management system that I can keep up with. I have Chelsea to thank for my improved grades.

Grande dark roast, no room for cream. Mr. Williams is a retired businessman who always tips 100%. Mr. Williams is a quiet man, so it took me months to draw any information from him. Instead of using my over-the-top customer service voice, I eventually learned to be myself. When I got him to open up, I discovered that he was a service worker himself before he made it big in business in his sixties. The truth is, Mr. Williams has tipped me hundreds of dollars throughout my time here, which is extra money that will help me pay for college. He’s taught me the value of quiet generosity(( Let’s be honest. Mr. Williams sounds like a cool guy. But Mr. Williams isn’t applying to college—the writer is! I like that we get small glimpses into who the writer is through this paragraph, but there’s still room for more.)) .

Tall soy London Fog. Sweet Darla gave up coffee twenty-five years ago, but she still loves an occasional treat. When Darla enters, I clear my schedule. She always has stories to tell about the eighty years of life she’s lived. Darla is everything I want to be at that age: she’s spunky, opinionated, and hilarious(( Here we learn a lot about the writer through Darla.)) . Sometimes I tell Darla stories of my own. When I explained the dramatic series of events that led to me landing first chair in my symphony, she said she was going to retell it her bridge club. Making Darla laugh so hard will always be one of my proudest moments.

Grande iced matcha. Taylor is my age and goes to my school. When I took her order for the first time, I felt embarrassed that I needed to work to support myself while she could enjoy expensive drinks. But her kindness softened me. As time went on, I learned that she visited Starbucks so much because she wanted to get out of her house, which wasn’t a very happy place. While I have to take on as many shifts as possible, I still have a happy home to return to afterward. Now Taylor comes in near the end of my shift so we can take our drinks and have dinner at my house.

When you work in customer service, customers enter and exit your life like a revolving door. But the regulars, those special people who draw connections from daily but brief interactions, stick with you for life. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for these people, and I would never have met them if it weren’t for my job as a barista. I haven’t just been making drinks these past two years. I’ve been making friends(( The conclusion does a good job tying all these different stories back together. )) .

AO Notes on The Regulars

No one appreciates a good barista story more than a tired admissions officer on their 30th application of the day! I like the personality that comes through in this essay especially. But this is one of those cases where it’s almost too much about other people.

• Creative take: Not every college essay needs a creative flair. In fact, sometimes going for “unique” structures can detract from an essay. But I like how the writer uses this format to structure the essay.
• Organization: This essay isn’t one a reader is bound to get lost in. The introduction sets up the essay well, it’s easy to see the connections between the points the writer is conveying, and the conclusion brings the focus back to the writer.
• More focus on self: While we do learn about the writer in this essay, we also learn a lot about Chelsea, Mr. Williams, Darla, and Taylor. The writer could have pared down the descriptions of other people—or cut one of the examples altogether—to save more room for personal reflection.

“Bad” Personal Statement Examples

These “bad” essays aren’t necessarily bad. They just aren’t very effective personal statements. Specifically, these two essays make some of the biggest college essay mistakes.

Making mistakes, especially when you’ve never written a personal statement before, is to be expected. We’ve included these examples so you can see what those mistakes look like in real-time. Learning from ineffective examples can be just as helpful as learning from the exceptional ones, so grab your pencil and start taking notes.

Our admissions officers have highlighted what’s working and what’s not. They offer helpful commentary and advice for revisions that you can use to assess your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #15: The Worst Year

My sophomore year of high school presented me with so many challenges(( This hook definitely gets straight to the point, but it doesn’t draw me in as a reader.)) . I struggled with a lot that year and barely managed to get by. It was the greatest challenge I ever faced.

The year started out like any other but soon went into chaos. My brother suddenly started struggling with drugs and alcohol. Before that, we didn’t know how bad he was hurting. But one night he finally came to us for help because apparently he had been using substances to cope with his emotions. He was scared because he felt like he had reached a breaking point and needed support. My parents didn’t want to help because they thought that he didn’t have a problem but I know my brother and I knew that he didn’t seem like himself. It was so sad to watch him go through that. I tried my best to help him but I was only a kid. I couldn’t really do anything besides tell him I loved him. Eventually my parents decided to get him some help, so he went away for a while and I wrote him letters every week and visited him as much as I could. The treatment he got helped thankfully. He’s doing better now and I am grateful that he is my brother.

But then Covid hit and I couldn’t even leave my house. We thought it would just be a two week vacation to school but it turned into two whole years of my life gone just like that. At the beginning I was stuck in my bedroom while my parents were working their jobs from the living room. Everyone was constantly getting annoyed with each other and driving each other wild. I would be doing a class Zoom in my room and I could hear my parents in a meeting in the living room. I had a hard time not being able to see my friends. I couldn't focus and my grades dropped. Even my teachers didn’t really seem to care. I was sick of staring at black Zoom screens all the time that I even stopped logging on. All of that combined led to me becoming very depressed and anxious. My grades dropped even more because I just couldn’t pay attention or focus enough to do my homework. I ended up getting grades way lower than I ever thought I would that year and I’m so frustrated about it because it felt like I was trying my best but it just wasn’t enough(( Here we see the writer opening up a bit and reflecting on what it was like to go through that experience.)) .

Even once we finally got back in school things didn’t get much better. The pandemic was just too much for my family so my parents ended up getting divorced at the beginning of my junior year. After all we had been through together seeing them separate made me devastated. My dad got an apartment and I had to go back and forth between their houses and pack up all my stuff every time. It was like moving my entire life every weekend. My brother was out of the house by this point so it was just me all by myself. My school was far from my dad’s new place so I’d have a long commute on the weeks I was with him. He was stressed at work and about the divorce and I just ended up feeling so lonely and spending most of my time in my room. My grades got better once online school stopped(( This moment of hope does a lot for moving the essay forward.)) but I had a hard time keeping close relationships with my friends because they didn’t like that I was living far away now and that we couldn’t really hang out anymore.

I couldn’t believe that two years would change so much. Getting through everything really challenged me. But I’m glad to be moving forward with my life.

AO Notes on The Worst Year

This student definitely had a challenging year. It’s clear that they’ve overcome a lot, and I appreciate their willingness to share their struggles. I like that the very last sentence

What this essay does well:

• Vulnerability: Writing about challenges is never easy, especially when you’re writing to people you don’t know. This writer is bold and unafraid in doing so.

What could be improved on:

• Not enough positivity: Here’s the thing. You definitely don’t need to be able to spin all of your challenging experiences into positive ones. But the topics you choose to write your college essay about should ultimately conclude on a positive note. You want your college essay to show you in a positive light, so you should choose a topic that lets you find a light, positive, or hopeful resolution.

Personal Statement Example #16: The Strikeout that Changed My Life

The stadium lights shone brightly in my eyes. I stepped up to the plate and drew back my bat. I wiggled my fingers, waiting. The pitcher wound up his arm and threw the ball towards me. My eyes worked overtime to track the ball. I watched as it flew directly towards the center of the plate and made a last-minute curve(( I like this vivid description.)) . It went straight into the catcher’s mitt. “Strike three!” the umpire yelled. That was the time I struck out at the quarter-finals. My team was so close to making it to the championship that we could taste it. It was the bottom of the sixth, and I gave up a valuable chance to score game-winning runs. We ended up losing. I learned a valuable lesson that fateful day. I never wanted to let my team down like that again(( And the writer jumps quickly into the main theme of the essay. Still, the message here could be more specific.)) .

We had advanced through our bracket without much trouble. The other teams were no match for our work ethic and teamwork. We were in perfect sync. As the first baseman, I was ready for any throw that came my way. We were also hitting well. I scored three home runs throughout the course of the tournament. We were a high-functioning machine. But for a machine to work, each cog has to function correctly. When I stepped up to the plate in the sixth inning, I was a broken cog.

After our quarter–final loss, I grieved with my teammates. Then I went off on my own to think. How had I let my team down so badly? How did I not even try to swing at that pitch? It was all my fault. I had to figure out what I had done wrong so I would never make the mistake again. I realized that I had been thinking selfishly. I was concerned about my own performance, my own at-bat averages(( This is a good reflection.)) . I was scared of failing because I didn’t want to be embarrassed. And worrying about all of those things caused me to lose focus and miss my chance to make a difference. Instead, I should have been thinking about how my at-bat would contribute to my team’s overall goal of winning the game.

I returned to where my teammates were congregating, and several of them patted me on the back. The next day, we went over how the game went as a team and talked about how we could improve at our tournament the following weekend. I admitted that I felt like I let the team down. My teammates said that they understood and reassured me that mistakes happen. It wasn’t my failed at-bat alone that lost us the game. Like winning, losing is a team effort. It was a culmination of lots of little issues. At the end of the day, the other team just out-performed us. But we could try hard, practice a lot, and return triumphant next weekend.

Letting my team down was a crushing blow to my self-esteem. I never want to feel like that again, but I know that the experience caused me to grow. Through all of this, I learned that I have to trust myself and my team(( Here we get to the lesson learned.)) . Focusing on myself alone can only get me so far. But focusing on my team can get me to where I want to go. I’m actually thankful that I struck out in that sixth inning because it caused me to learn an important life lesson.

AO Notes on The Strikeout that Changed My Life

This essay on its own definitely isn’t “bad.” As far as essays go, it’s clear, well-written, and organized nicely. But as a college essay, it could be doing more work on the writer’s behalf. See, as an admissions officer, I don’t actually learn that much about the writer from this essay alone. I see that they like baseball, are a good teammate, and can overcome failure. Those are wonderful traits, but they don’t exactly help set this student apart on the admissions committee floor. Instead, the student could make this essay more vulnerable and personal.

• Writing: The writer uses some great creative writing skills to really set the scene for the readers. In that first paragraph, I really feel like I’m there watching the game.
• Reflection: Even though the topic could be more significant, the writer does a great job reflecting on the meaning they drew from the experience.
• Significance: It’s very clear that this topic holds a lot of meaning to the writer. But as a college essay topic, it lacks vulnerability and stakes.

Key Takeaways

Writing a personal statement is a difficult ask, especially when you’ve never even read one before. But now, with these fifteen examples in your back pocket, you’re ready to write your own.

If you’re not sure what steps to take next, hop on over to our guide to writing personal statements for advice. You can also find more extensive guidance on the Essay Academy , a comprehensive college essay writing video course and community.

Happy writing! 🥳

Liked that? Try this next.

How to Write a Personal Statement for Colleges

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Writing the Personal Statement

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The personal statement, your opportunity to sell yourself in the application process, generally falls into one of two categories:

1. The general, comprehensive personal statement:

This allows you maximum freedom in terms of what you write and is the type of statement often prepared for standard medical or law school application forms.

2. The response to very specific questions:

Often, business and graduate school applications ask specific questions, and your statement should respond specifically to the question being asked. Some business school applications favor multiple essays, typically asking for responses to three or more questions.

Questions to ask yourself before you write:

• What's special, unique, distinctive, and/or impressive about you or your life story?
• What details of your life (personal or family problems, history, people or events that have shaped you or influenced your goals) might help the committee better understand you or help set you apart from other applicants?
• When did you become interested in this field and what have you learned about it (and about yourself) that has further stimulated your interest and reinforced your conviction that you are well suited to this field? What insights have you gained?
• How have you learned about this field—through classes, readings, seminars, work or other experiences, or conversations with people already in the field?
• If you have worked a lot during your college years, what have you learned (leadership or managerial skills, for example), and how has that work contributed to your growth?
• What are your career goals?
• Are there any gaps or discrepancies in your academic record that you should explain (great grades but mediocre LSAT or GRE scores, for example, or a distinct upward pattern to your GPA if it was only average in the beginning)?
• Have you had to overcome any unusual obstacles or hardships (for example, economic, familial, or physical) in your life?
• What personal characteristics (for example, integrity, compassion, and/or persistence) do you possess that would improve your prospects for success in the field or profession? Is there a way to demonstrate or document that you have these characteristics?
• What skills (for example, leadership, communicative, analytical) do you possess?
• Why might you be a stronger candidate for graduate school—and more successful and effective in the profession or field than other applicants?
• What are the most compelling reasons you can give for the admissions committee to be interested in you?

General advice

Answer the questions that are asked

• If you are applying to several schools, you may find questions in each application that are somewhat similar.
• Don't be tempted to use the same statement for all applications. It is important to answer each question being asked, and if slightly different answers are needed, you should write separate statements. In every case, be sure your answer fits the question being asked.

Tell a story

• Think in terms of showing or demonstrating through concrete experience. One of the worst things you can do is to bore the admissions committee. If your statement is fresh, lively, and different, you'll be putting yourself ahead of the pack. If you distinguish yourself through your story, you will make yourself memorable.

Be specific

• Don't, for example, state that you would make an excellent doctor unless you can back it up with specific reasons. Your desire to become a lawyer, engineer, or whatever should be logical, the result of specific experience that is described in your statement. Your application should emerge as the logical conclusion to your story.

Find an angle

• If you're like most people, your life story lacks drama, so figuring out a way to make it interesting becomes the big challenge. Finding an angle or a "hook" is vital.

Concentrate on your opening paragraph

• The lead or opening paragraph is generally the most important. It is here that you grab the reader's attention or lose it. This paragraph becomes the framework for the rest of the statement.

Tell what you know

• The middle section of your essay might detail your interest and experience in your particular field, as well as some of your knowledge of the field. Too many people graduate with little or no knowledge of the nuts and bolts of the profession or field they hope to enter. Be as specific as you can in relating what you know about the field and use the language professionals use in conveying this information. Refer to experiences (work, research, etc.), classes, conversations with people in the field, books you've read, seminars you've attended, or any other source of specific information about the career you want and why you're suited to it. Since you will have to select what you include in your statement, the choices you make are often an indication of your judgment.

Don't include some subjects

• There are certain things best left out of personal statements. For example, references to experiences or accomplishments in high school or earlier are generally not a good idea. Don't mention potentially controversial subjects (for example, controversial religious or political issues).

Do some research, if needed

• If a school wants to know why you're applying to it rather than another school, do some research to find out what sets your choice apart from other universities or programs. If the school setting would provide an important geographical or cultural change for you, this might be a factor to mention.

Write well and correctly

• Be meticulous. Type and proofread your essay very carefully. Many admissions officers say that good written skills and command of correct use of language are important to them as they read these statements. Express yourself clearly and concisely. Adhere to stated word limits.

Avoid clichés

• A medical school applicant who writes that he is good at science and wants to help other people is not exactly expressing an original thought. Stay away from often-repeated or tired statements.

For more information on writing a personal statement, see the personal statement vidcast .

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February 6, 2023

Bring Your Personal Statement to Life With Vivid, Active Verbs

Your personal statement is an essential element of your application and allows the adcom great insight into who you really are aside from your stats. However, no matter how extensive your experience or how accomplished you might be, all that can be lost in prose that does not do a good job of profiling who you are. 

A personal statement should be personal. It should narrate an experience that influenced you to become a physician . Sometimes, in an effort to sound professional, applicants can sound instead as though they’re trying too hard, fueled by anxiety or intensity that stems from being competitive. Other times, candidates can sound rote or  mechanical, downplaying fabulous achievements by describing them blandly or missing the opportunity to develop the story behind the achievement.

Lastly, some applicants show us a draft of a personal statement that is merely a narrative version of their curriculum vitae. Doing this raises a red flag: the adcom already knows this information. The general rule is to not replicate or reiterate other parts of your application in your personal statement. Instead, tell a human story that exemplifies your ability to be empathetic and compassionate. This requires strong, narrative writing skills that bring to light your beautiful personhood, whether the story you tell is about you or someone else, something you witnessed, and what you have come to understand about humanity, especially disenfranchised populations. 

A good personal statement tells a moving story. This writing requires the use of strong, vivid verbs in a way that livens up descriptions. A direct voice is verbally dexterous and precise in vocabulary and descriptive. For example, imagine that you wish to tell the story of having cared for your terminally ill grandmother. Why not develop this idea into a story in which you describe, in detail, what that experience was like. Rather than say, “My grandmother lived with us when she was sick,” try to capture the details: “My grandmother moved into the spare bedroom of our house last January, during a snowstorm so volatile the windows shook.” 

In describing an event in time, use active verbs to convey sensory information – images, sounds, smells, tastes, tactile sensations – that will transform your essay into a story your readers will want to continue reading. When you edit your essays, revise your verbs . Evaluate the benefit of replacing humdrum words, those that come to mind automatically, with more succinct and effective words. Choose verbs that feel exactly right rather than approximate.

Did you “try,” “plan,” “strive,” or “struggle” to complete a project?

Use a thesaurus (properly!) to transform your language.

Consult a thesaurus for help in upgrading any bland words. Choosing precise words means that you will likely need fewer adverbs and adjectives. Meanwhile, the revised sentences will be much less general and more succinct and specific. Your writing will gain voice and mood with restored vigor. Be sure to focus on enlivening your writing without overdoing it. Don’t exaggerate, and don’t choose language that sounds melodramatic or sensational. Look up the meaning of synonymous words to ensure that you are using them correctly. Not all synonyms in a word processor’s thesaurus mean exactly the same thing. Consider meaning, connotation, and fluidity. Don’t select certain words simply to impress. Choose them to convey meaning with precision.

Our experienced consultants at Accepted know just how to revise your writing so it reads well to others. We can help balance your vocabulary to ensure that you sound intelligent and authentic. Our application essay services can help you share your story in a manner that presents you meaningfully to others.

Related Resources:

• From Example to Exemplary , a free guide to writing outstanding essays
• First Drafts of Personal Statements: Let Yourself Go
• ‘Twas the Night Before Deadlines: A Cautionary Tale of Cliches

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3 people arrested and charged in connection with Liam Payne's death, Argentine authorities say

Three people were charged in relation with the death of singer Liam Payne , Argentina's public prosecutor said Thursday.

The prosecutor's statement said that during the investigation, "illicit conduct was discovered from which three people were charged with the crimes of abandonment of a person followed by death, supply and facilitation of narcotics."

Payne, a former member of One Direction, fell from the balcony of a Buenos Aires hotel on Oct. 16.

Someone who was with Payne daily while he was in Buenos Aires is charged with abandoning a person following death, prosecutor Andrés Madrea's statement said.

A hotel employee is accused of supplying Payne with cocaine twice while he stayed at the hotel, the statement said, and a third person is accused of supplying drugs to him twice during his stay on Oct. 14.

They are both charged with two acts of supplying narcotics, Madrea said.

Toxicology reports showed that in the last 72 hours before he died, Payne had alcohol, cocaine and a prescription antidepressant drug in his system, according to the prosecutor's office. The prosecutor's statement made no reference to “ pink cocaine ,” which ABC News, citing sources, had reported he had in his system when he died.

Payne reportedly had a recreational drug that is typically made up of MDMA, ketamine and methamphetamine in his system. The drug rarely has any cocaine in it, and the pink comes from food coloring, officials have said.

His death was caused by "multiple trauma" and "internal and external hemorrhage" resulting from the fall from the third-floor hotel balcony, the prosecutor's office said.

Forensic doctors who performed the autopsy told prosecutors that his injuries were consistent with a fall from that height and that self-harm, as well as interference from someone else, were ruled out. They added that because Payne "did not adopt a reflex posture" to protect himself during the fall, "it can be inferred that he may have fallen in a state of semi or total unconsciousness."

Throughout the investigation, "exhaustive and meticulous actions and measures were taken to clarify the circumstances surrounding the artist's death," the statement said. Prosecutors heard testimony from "several dozen" hotel staff members, family members, friends, medical professionals, biochemists and psychiatrists.

Prosecutors also analyzed more than 800 hours of security video from the hotel and from public roads, and they looked through the contents of Payne's cellphone.

Also following the investigation, Payne's body was released to his father, Geoff Payne, last weekend.

Payne, who shot to fame as a member of the boy band One Direction, was reportedly exhibiting destructive behavior in the hours before he died.

The hotel where he was staying called 911 after he "overindulged in drugs and alcohol" and was "breaking the whole room."

"The guest is in a room that has a balcony, and, well, we are a little afraid that he might do something life-threatening," the caller said, according to audio obtained from local media  by Telemundo , NBCUniversal's Spanish-language network.

Payne was found dead just minutes after the call was made.

Rebecca Cohen is a breaking news reporter for NBC News Digital.

Resume personal statement examples

If you want to secure job interview, you need a strong personal statement at the top of your resume.

Your resume personal statement is a short paragraph which sits at the very top of your resume – and it’s aim is to summarize the benefits of hiring you and encourage employers to read your resume in full.

In this guide I have included 17 resume personal statement examples from a range of professions and experience levels, plus a detailed guide of how to write your own personal statement that will get you noticed by employers

Resume templates 

17 resume personal statement examples

To start this guide, I have included 10 examples of good personal statements, to give you an idea of how a personal statement should look , and what should be included.

Note: personal statements are generally used by junior candidates – if you are experienced, check out our resume summary examples instead.

College graduate resume personal statement (no experience)

Although this college graduate has no paid work experience , they compensate for it by showcasing all of the skills and knowledge the have gained during their studies, and demonstrating how they apply their knowledge in academic and personal projects.

When you have little or no experience, it’s important to draw out transferable workplace skills from your studies and extracurricular work, to showcase them to employers.

College graduate resume personal statement (part time freelance experience)

This candidate has graduated college with a degree in biochemistry but actually wants to start a career in marketing after providing some digital freelance services to fund their studies.

In this case, they haven’t made much mention of their studies because they aren’t relevant to the marketing agencies they are applying to. Instead they have focused their personal statement around their freelance work and passion for the digital field – although they still mention the fact they are degree educated to prove their academic success.

High school leaver resume personal statement (no experience)

This candidate is 16 years old and has no work experience whatsoever, but they compensate for this by detailing their academic achievements that relate to the roles they are applying for (maths and literacy are important requirements in finance and accountancy roles).

They also add some info on their extracurricular activities and high school work-placements, to strengthen this student resume further.

Top tips for writing a resume personal statement

• Thoroughly research the jobs and companies you are planning to apply for to identify the type of candidate they are looking for – try to reflect that in your personal statement
• Don’t be afraid to brag a little – include some of your most impressive achievements from education, work or personal life
• Focus on describing the benefits an employer will get from hiring you. Will you help them to get more customers? Improve their workplace? Save them time and money?
• If you have no work experience, demonstrate transferable workplace skills from your education, projects, or even hobbies

High school leaver resume personal statement (part time experience)

Although this person has only just left high school, they have also undertaken some part-time work in a call center alongside their studies.

To make the most of this experience, they have combined their academic achievements with their workplace exposure in this personal statement.

By highlighting their future studies, summer programme involvement, work experience and expressing their ambitions to progress within sales, this candidate really makes an appealing case for hiring them.

College leaver resume personal statement (no experience)

This candidate has left college with good grades, but does not yet have any work experience.

To compensate for the lack of workplace exposure, they have made their honor results prominent and highlighted skills and experience which would benefit the employers they are targeting.

Any recruiter reading this summary can quickly understand that this candidate has great academic achievements, a passion for IT and finance and the ability to transfer their skills into an office environment.

College student resume personal statement (freelance experience)

As this student has picked up a small amount of freelance writing work during their studies, they have made sure to brag about it in their personal statement.

They give details on their relevant studies to show the skills they are learning, and boost this further by highlighting the fact that they have been applying these skills in a real-life work setting by providing freelance services.

They also include key action verbs that recruiters will be looking for , such as creative writing, working to deadlines, and producing copy.

Academic resume personal statement

Aside from junior candidates, the only other people who might use a personal statement, are academic professionals; as their resume’s tend to be more longer and detailed than other professions.

This candidate provides a high level overview of their field of study, length of experience, and the roles they have held within colleges.

High school leaver resume personal statement with sports experience

Although this person has no work experience, they are still able to show employers the value of hiring them by selling their other achievements and explaining how they could benefit an organization.

They expand on their sports club involvement to demonstrate their teamwork, leadership skills, communication and motivation, which are all important traits in the workplace, and will be looked upon favourably by recruiters and hiring managers.

They also draw upon their future plans to study business studies at college and take a part time job, to further prove their ambition and dedication.

History graduate resume personal statement

This history graduate proves their aptitude for both academic achievement and workplace aptitude by showcasing valuable skills from their degree and voluntary work.

They do this by breaking down the key requirements for each and showing how their skills could be beneficial for future employers, such as listening, communication, and crisis management.

They also describe how their ability to balance studies alongside voluntary work has not only boosted their knowledge and skills, but also given excellent time management and organizational skills – which are vital assets to any employer.

Law graduate resume personal statement

This legal graduate makes the most from their college work placements by using it to bulk out the contents of their resume personal statement.

They include their degree to show they have the necessary qualifications for legal roles, which is crucial, but more importantly, they showcase how they applied their legal skills within a real-life work setting.

They give a brief overview of the types of legal professionals they have been working alongside and the type of work they have been carrying out – this is all it takes to get the attention of recruiters and show employers they have what it takes to fulfil roles in the legal sector.

Medical student resume personal statement

This medical student proves their fit for the role by showcasing the key skills they have gained from their studies and their work experience placements.

In just these few sentences, they are able to highlight the vast amount of experience they have across different disciplines in the industry, something which is particularly important in the medical sector.

As they have not graduated yet and are still studying, they have provided proof of their most recent grades. This can give the recruiter some indication as to the type of grade they could be graduating with in the near future.

Masters student resume personal statement

This masters student has started by specifying their area of study, in this case, accounting, and given details about the specific areas of finance they are most interested in. This can hint towards their career goals and passions.

They have then carefully listed some of the key areas of accounting and finance that they are proficient in. For example, business finance, advanced corporate finance and statistics.

They have also outlined some of the transferable skills needed for accounting roles that employers will be looking out for, such as communication, attention to detail and analytical skills.

Finance student resume personal statement

As this finance student has recently undertaken some relevant work experience, they’ve made sure to shout about this in their personal summary.

But more than this, they have included a list of some of the important finance skills they gained as a result of this work experience – for example, financial reporting, processing invoices and month-end reconciliations.

Plus, through power words and phrases such as ‘prevent loss’ and ‘improve upon accuracy and efficiency’, they have also showcased how they can apply these skills in a workplace setting to benefit the potential employer.

Internship resume personal statement

This digital marketing professional has started their personal summary by outlining their most relevant qualifications and work experience, most notably their freelance role as a content manager.

They have also provided examples of some of the key marketing skills that potential employers might be looking for, including very detailed examples of the platforms and tools they are proficient in – for example, LinkedIn, Twitter and Pinterest.

They have then closed their statement by giving a detailed description of the type of role or opportunity they are looking for. In this case, an in-house position in a marketing company.

College graduate career changer personal statement

Switching careers as a college graduate can be tough. Especially when it comes to writing a personal statement that will attract employers in your new chosen field.

This candidate is looking to move from history teaching into journalism, so they have created a statement which briefly mentions their current workplace, but mainly focuses on highlighting transferable skills which are relevant to journalism. They achieve this by discussing the writing skills they use in their current role, and mentioning their hobby of writing – including some publications they have been featured in for extra brownie points.

Business management graduate personal statement

This business management proves their ability to work within a junior business management position by swiftly highlighting their impressive degree (to ensure it is not missed) and summarizing some of the real-life experience they have gained in management during their college placements and volunteering. They do not let their lack of paid work experience, stop them demonstrating their valuable skills.

PhD graduate

PhD graduate roles attract a lot of competition, so it’s important that your resume contains a personal statement that will quickly impress and attract recruiters.

This candidate provides a short-but-comprehensive overview of their academic achievements, whilst demonstrating their exceptional level of knowledge in research, languages and publication writing.

By highlighting a number of skills and abilities that are in high-demand in the academic workplace, this resume is very likely to get noticed and land interviews.

How to write a personal statement for your resume

Now that you’ve seen what a personal statement should look like and the type of content it should contain, follow this detailed guide to one for your own resume – and start racking those interviews up.

Guide contents

What is a resume personal statement?

Resume personal statement or resume summary, personal statement format, what to include in a resume personal statement.

• Personal statement mistakes

How to write persuasively

A personal statement is a short paragraph at the top of your resume which gives employers an overview of your education, skills and experience

It’s purpose is to capture the attention of busy recruiters and hiring managers when your resume is first opened – encouraging them to read the rest of it.

You achieve this by writing a tailored summary of yourself that explains your suitability for the roles you are applying for at a very high level, and matches your target job descriptions .

One question candidates often ask me is , “what is the difference between a personal statement and a resume summary?”

To be honest, they are almost the same – they are both introductory paragraphs that sit at the top of your resume… but there are 2 main differences:

A personal statement tends to be used more by junior candidates (college graduates, high school leavers etc.) and is relatively long and detailed.

A resume summary tends to be favoured by more experienced candidates , and is shorter in length than a personal statement.

Note: If you are an experienced candidate, you may want to switch over to my resume writing guide , or example resume summaries page.

To ensure you grab recruiters’ attention with your personal statement, lay it out in the following way.

Positioning

You need to ensure that your personal statement sits at the very top of your resume, and all of it should be totally visible to readers, without the need to scroll down the page.

Do this by reducing the top page margin and minimizing the space taken up by your contact details.

This will ensure that your whole personal statement can be seen, as soon as your resume is opened.

We have a resume template which can help you to get this right.

Size/length

Your personal statement needs to contain enough detail to provide an introduction to your skills and knowledge, but not so much detail that it bores readers.

To strike the right balance, anything between 8-15 lines of text is perfect – and sentences should be sharp and to-the-point.

As with the whole of your resume , your personal statement should be written in a simple clean font at around size 10-12 to ensure that it can be read easily by all recruiters and employers.

Keep the text color simple, ensuring that it contrasts the background (black on white is best) and break it into 2 or even 3 paragraphs for a pleasant reading experience.

It should also be written in a punchy persuasive tone, to help you sell yourself and increase your chances of landing interviews, I cover how to do this in detail further down the guide.

Quick tip: A poorly written resume will fail to impress recruiters and employers. Use our quick-and-easy Resume Builder to create a winning resume in minutes with professional resume templates and pre-written content for every industry.

Once you have the style and format of your personal statement perfected, you need to fill it with compelling content that tells recruiters that your resume is worth reading.

Here’s what needs to go into your personal statement…

Before you start writing your personal statement, it’s crucial that you research your target roles to find out exactly what your new potential employers are looking for in a candidate.

Run a search for your target jobs on one of the major job websites, look through plenty of adverts and make a list of the candidate requirements that frequently appear.

This research will show you exactly what to include in your personal statement in order to impress the recruiters who will be reading it.

Education and qualifications are an important aspect of your personal statement, especially if you are a junior candidate.

You should highlight your highest and most relevant qualifications, whether that is a degree or your GED. You could potentially go into some more detail around modules, papers etc. if they are relevant to the roles you are applying for.

It’s important that you discuss the experience you have gained in your personal statement, to give readers an idea of the work you are comfortable undertaking.

This can of course be direct employed work experience, but it doesn’t have to be.

You can also include:

• High school/college work placements
• Voluntary work
• Personal projects
• Hobbies/interests

As with all aspects of your resume , the content should be tailored to match the requirements of your target roles.

Whilst discussing your experience, you should touch upon skills used, industries worked in, types of companies worked for, and people you have worked with.

Where possible, try to show the impact your actions have made. E.g.  A customer service agent helps to make sales for their employer.

Any industry-specific knowledge you have that will be useful to your new potential employers should be made prominent within your personal statement.

For example

• Knowledge of financial regulations will be important for accountancy roles
• Knowledge of IT operating systems will be important for IT roles
• Knowledge of the national curriculum will be important for teachers

You should also include some information about the types of roles you are applying for, and why you are doing so. Try to show your interest and passion for the field you are hoping to enter, because employers want to hire people who have genuine motivation and drive in their work.

This is especially true if you don’t have much work experience, as you need something else to compensate for it.

Resume personal statement mistakes

The things that you omit from your personal statement can be just as important as the things you include.

Try to keep the following out of your personal statement..

Irrelevant info

Any information that doesn’t fall into the requirements of your target roles can be cut out of your personal statement. For example, if you were a professional athlete 6 years ago, that’s great – but it won’t be relevant if you’re applying to advertising internships, so leave it out.

Generic clichés

If you are describing yourself as a “ dynamic team player with high levels of motivation and enthusiasm” you aren’t doing yourself any favours.

These cliché terms are vastly overused and don’t provide readers with any factual details about you – so keep them to a minimum.

Stick to solid facts like education, skills , experience, achievements and knowledge.

If you really want to ensure that your personal statement makes a big impact, you need to write in a persuasive manner.

So, how do you so this?

Well, you need to brag a little – but not too much

It’s about selling yourself and appearing confident, without overstepping the mark and appearing arrogant.

For example, instead of writing.

“Marketing graduate with an interest in entering the digital field”

Be creative and excite the reader by livening the sentence up like this,

“Marketing graduate with highest exam results in class and a passion for embarking on a long and successful career within digital”

The second sentence is a much more interesting, makes the candidate appear more confident, throws in some achievements, and shows off a wider range of writing skills.

Quick tip: A poorly written resume will fail to impress recruiters and employers. Use our quick-and-easy Resume Builder to create a winning resume in minutes with professional templates and pre-written content for every industry.

Your own personal statement will be totally unique to yourself, but by using the above guidelines you will be able to create one which shows recruiters everything they need.

Remember to keep the length between 10-20 lines and only include the most relevant information for your target roles.

You can also check our college graduate resume example , our best resume templates , or our library of example resumes from all industries.

Good luck with the job hunt!