Leadership is about making others feel safe: Simon Sinek at TED2014

Simon Sinek. Photo: James Duncan Davidson

Simon Sinek  begins his talk with the story of former U.S. Army Captain William D. Swenson. In 2009, Swenson was on an operation in Afghanistan, near the Pakistan border, when his column was ambushed. It was bad; many were injured. During this ambush, Swenson called for air support and ran through enemy fire to rescue the wounded. The moment was recorded by a GoPro camera on one of the medic’s helmets. With two comrades, Swenson brought in a severely wounded sergeant to a helicopter for medical evacuation. “You see Captain Swenson bend over and give him a kiss, before he turns around to rescue more,” says Sinek.

Sinek points out this gesture was unusual—and important. It was a leader showing intense care for one of his subordinates. Even love.

“In the military, they give medals to people who sacrifice themselves so that others may gain,” says Sinek. “In business, they give bonuses to people who sacrifice others so that they may gain.”

It’s not that people in the military are inherently better than those in business—it’s just a different environment. And it’s one that values trust and cooperation.

To explain why this in important, Sinek takes us back in time to the beginning of human society, when to mitigate a world full of dangers, “we evolved into social animals that lived together and worked together in what I call a ‘circle of safety.'”

Business, says Sinek—whose  TEDxPugetSound talk “How great leaders inspire action”  has been viewed 16 million times—is the modern day tribe. The world is still full of dangers and, when people feel safe, they trust and cooperate. When they don’t, they waste time and energy defending themselves from each other.

“The ups and downs of the economy, the uncertainty of the stock market, the new technology that renders your business model obsolete overnight, the competition that is trying to kill you or at a minimum stop your growth and steal your customers—we have no control over these forces. They’re constant and they’re not going away,” says Sinek. “The only variable are the conditions inside the organization. That’s where leadership matters, because it’s the leader who sets the tone. When leaders make a choice to put the people first, remarkable things happen.”

The closest example, says Sinek, is parenting. Good parents work tirelessly to give their children opportunities and to help them achieve more than they imagined for themselves. “Great leaders want exactly the same thing,” says Sinek. “They want to  build self-confidence, to give opportunities to try and fail, all so that they they can achieve more than we could imagine for ourselves.”

He asks a tough question. “If you had hard times in your family, would you ever consider laying off one of your children?”

This, Sinek believes, is why we have such a negative reaction to banking executives who make a ton of money and ruthlessly lay off workers. “It’s not the numbers,” says Sinek. “They have violated this deep-seated social construct. We know they allowed their people to be sacrificed to protect their own interests. Great leaders would never sacrifice the people to save the numbers; they would sooner sacrifice the numbers to save the people.”

Of course, this isn’t how it has to be in business. Sinek gives the example of a company that created the concept of “lifetime employment” to make employees feel safe, and a CEO who instituted mandatory 4-week furloughs for everyone in the company when times got tough. His rationale: “it’s better for us all to suffer a little than for some to suffer a lot.” Any employees who could do without the income signed up for five weeks, so that others could do three. And morale in the company actually went up.

“Leadership is a choice, not a rank,” says Sinek. Anyone in an organization can be a leader. “It’s choosing to look out for the person on your left and to look out for the person on your right.”

He brings us back to the military, where this concept of leadership is more accepted. He tells the story of an officer who, when rations were tight, insisted that his marines eat before he did. Naturally, there was no food left for him. But his soldiers were so moved by the gesture, that they each brought him a little bit of their food.

“We call them leaders because they go first, because they take the risk before anybody else does, because they will choose to sacrifice so their people will be safe and protected,” says Sinek. “The natural response is that our people will sacrifice for us.”

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Unpacking Simon Sinek’s TED Talk on Leadership: Why The Golden Circle Matters

  • The Speaker Lab
  • March 9, 2024

Table of Contents

Ever wonder why some companies just get it right? Simon Sinek’s TED Talk, “Start With Why,” seeks to answer that question. It lays out a simple yet powerful model for inspirational leadership: the Golden Circle. This talk isn’t just another piece of leadership advice; it’s about finding your purpose and letting that drive everything you do.

In this article, we’re here to help you understand the psychology behind consumer decisions and how to shape a corporate culture that thrives on its core “why.” By diving deep into this philosophy, you’ll see practical examples of success and even explore critiques to give you a full picture. Ready to shift your perspective? Let’s dive in.

Unpacking Simon Sinek’s “Start With Why” TED Talk

Simon Sinek sparked a movement with his “Start With Why” TED Talk , urging leaders to dig deep into the purpose that drives their organizations. In his talk, he introduces us to the Golden Circle, a simple yet powerful framework consisting of three layers: Why, How, and What. These aren’t just concentric circles on a diagram; they’re an insight into human motivation and organizational success.

The core idea is this: most companies know what they do—products or services they sell—and some know how they do it—their unique selling proposition. But very few can clearly articulate why they do what they do, the reason their organization exists, a reason that goes beyond profits. According to Sinek, starting with “why” taps into our natural desire for inspiration, leading not only to better leadership but also loyal customers who believe in your cause.

In his talk, Sinek uses computer company Apple as an example of a company that starts with “why” instead of “what.” Rather than just advertising their electronics, Apple advertises the way they challenge status quos and think differently, resonating deeply with consumers’ own values and beliefs.

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The Golden Circle Framework Explained

Imagine a bullseye with three concentric circles. This is Simon Sinek’s Golden Circle model, a simple yet powerful framework that flips traditional organizational thinking on its head. At the center, “Why” stands as the driving force behind every action.

“Why”: The Heart of Decision-Making

Sinek argues that successful leaders and organizations start by clearly defining their purpose or belief— why they do what they do. It’s not about making money; that’s just a result. It’s about impact and inspiration. Take Apple for example; they challenge the status quo in everything they create, which resonates deeply with consumers beyond just product features.

“How”: Bridging Beliefs and Action

Moving outward from “Why,” we reach “How.” These are the principles or actions that bring your “Why” to life—the unique selling points or processes you employ to realize your vision. If Why is all about beliefs, How is all about behaviors—it’s how companies like Southwest Airlines consistently deliver friendly service at low costs because it aligns perfectly with their “customer first” ethos.

“What”: The Tangible Evidence

Finally, there’s “What,” the products you sell or services you offer, all tangible proof of your Why brought into reality through How. For most businesses, this circle gets the most attention. However, as Sinek explains, people don’t buy What you do; they buy Why you’re doing it. If these two circles aren’t aligned, customers often choose to opt out.

So why does this matter for speakers looking to get booked? When organizers sift through heaps of potential talks, those who can articulate their passion—their own personal Why—stand out because audiences crave genuine stories over polished pitches any day. Need help writing that speaker bio? Find help here .

The Psychology Behind Why “Why” Matters

Simon Sinek’s TED Talk isn’t just a hit because it sounds good. It taps into the core of human motivation, where emotions drive decisions and logic comes in to justify them. We buy from brands that align with our identity, the ones that reflect who we are or aspire to be.

This goes back to biology. Our limbic brain, responsible for feelings like trust and loyalty as well as all human behavior and decision-making, has no capacity for language. So when companies talk about what they do without connecting it to a deeper why, they’re not speaking directly to the part of our brains that controls action. When businesses do share their convictions, people listen closely because shared beliefs create bonds stronger than any advertisement that simply highlights a product.

Sinek’s approach makes us rethink leadership itself. Great leaders don’t just tell people what needs doing; they inspire others by showing them their work matters in a bigger picture. They create movements by empowering followers with shared beliefs, igniting change not through mandates but through purpose-driven inspiration.

Critiques and Counterarguments to Sinek’s Ideas

While Simon Sinek’s “Start With Why” TED Talk sparked a revolution in leadership thinking, it didn’t win over everyone. Some argue that the Golden Circle isn’t a one-size-fits-all solution. Leaders in highly regulated industries, for example, may find that their “why” is closely tied to company standards. While less inspirational, demonstrating compliance is still critically important.

The idea of starting with why also assumes a level of introspection that not all organizations have mastered or even value. In the fast-paced tech world, some critics point out companies like Facebook and Google became giants by focusing on what they could do—not why they should do it—and iterating rapidly from there.

Then there’s the question of novelty. Is Sinek’s approach really new? Skeptics suggest his model repackages existing concepts found in earlier works such as Jim Collins’ “Good to Great,” which emphasizes core values and purpose long before Sinek’s talk hit the stage.

The Limits of Inspiration

Inspiration can fuel motivation, but does it drive results? Naysayers highlight situations where inspiration-led companies faced challenges when scaling up because processes took a backseat to passion. For instance, while Apple famously harnessed its “why,” other inspired startups floundered without solid business models or operational expertise.

A key critique hinges on measurability: How do you quantify your company’s “why”? Unlike KPIs (Key Performance Indicators), the impact of an inspiring mission can be elusive at best—a tricky area for leaders who thrive on data-driven decision-making.

Adaptation over Adherence

Lastly, while starting with why can guide a brand , it’s also important to stay flexible and responsive to market opportunities. Over time, a company’s why may evolve as they adapt new strategies in order to maintain growth and relevance in a competitive landscape. Assuming that a company’s why will be clear and permanent from the start is a big assumption on Sinek’s part, argue some critics.

How to Implement Sinek’s Insights in Your Organization

Bringing Simon Sinek’s “Start With Why” insights into your company culture isn’t just about slapping a mission statement on the wall. It’s about embedding that why into every aspect of your business operations.

The Leader’s Role

As a leader, you’re the torchbearer for your organization’s “why.” This means living and breathing this core belief, from decision-making to how you interact with team members. Leading by example is not a cliché; it’s an action plan. Get clear on what drives your organization beyond profits—maybe it’s innovation, community impact or customer satisfaction. Whatever it is, let this drive guide all your strategies.

Cultivating Buy-In

For “why” to work its magic, everyone needs to buy into it wholeheartedly. So share success stories that illustrate the why in action and demonstrate how it made all the difference. And when things don’t go as planned? Be honest about these moments too because they often provide powerful lessons.

Incorporating Feedback Loops

Feedback loops help track whether actions reflect organizational values. Encourage team members at all levels to speak up if they feel decisions are drifting away from those central principles.

This could mean setting up suggestion boxes (virtual or physical) or conducting regular surveys. You could even establish focus groups dedicated specifically for discussing alignment between everyday activities and the overarching mission, ensuring that no drift occurs without notice and correction.

Evaluating Impact Consistently

Last but not least: evaluate regularly. Whether through performance metrics or customer feedback analysis, it’s crucial that evaluation is consistent, thorough, and brutally honest. Sure, good numbers are a reason to celebrate. But more important are the insights that drive continuous improvement and keep your company aligned with your mission.

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Comparing Sinek’s Approach to Other Leadership Theories

Simon Sinek’s “Start With Why” TED Talk isn’t just another inspirational speech. It’s a playbook for those who aspire to lead with purpose. But how does this approach stack up against the titans of leadership theory?

The Golden Circle vs. Transformational Leadership

Sure, Simon plays in the big leagues with his Golden Circle, but let’s not forget about transformational leadership . This model is all about charisma and influence—a vibe that says “follow me to greatness.” While transformational leaders rally their troops through sheer magnetism, Simon asks us first to look inward and articulate our deepest “why” before taking on the world.

“Why” Meets Servant Leadership

We’ve got servant leadership next up in this intellectual cage match. This philosophy says leading means serving others above all else. Creating these connections with employees can go a long ways towards increasing buy-in for the company’s “why,” especially if the “why” involves human compassion and empathy.

The Intersection with Situational Leadership

Last but certainly not least is situational leadership, which tailors its style to match what followers need in any given moment. It’s kind of like being an organizational chameleon adapting colors according to workplace moods.

While Sinek might acquiesce to minor changes, his theory hinges on a driving purpose that loses meaning if it’s constantly changing. After all, if a company’s “why” is inconsistent, it stands to reason that its customer base will be too.

FAQs on Simon Sinek’s TED Talk

What was simon sinek’s famous quote.

“People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it,” states Sinek, capturing his philosophy in a nutshell.

What is the summary of the TED Talk by Simon Sinek?

Sinek’s TED talk boils down to this: Great leaders inspire others by putting “why” before “how” or “what” in their mission.

What is the number one TED talk of all time?

Sir Ken Robinson’s call for an education revolution takes top honors with his plea to nurture kids’ creativity.

Simon Sinek’s TED Talk teaches us to think differently about motivation and leadership. It shows how starting with “why” can revolutionize business strategy across the globe. The Golden Circle isn’t just a concept; it’s a practice that separates great leaders from the rest. So act on insights, not just data. Remember, people don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it. This understanding shapes everything from marketing to team-building.

To wrap up, be clear about your cause because this clarity drives success across all aspects of work life and beyond.

  • Last Updated: March 5, 2024

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Simon Sinek: How Do Great Leaders Inspire Us To Take Action?

NPR/TED Staff

Part 2 of the TED Radio Hour episode Inspire To Action .

About Simon Sinek's TED Talk

Leadership expert Simon Sinek says lasting movements need inspiring leaders. He argues the best leaders are the best followers — they believe they are following a cause bigger than themselves.

About Simon Sinek

Simon Sinek is an author and motivational speaker who has dedicated his life to studying leadership and movements.

He is the author of four books, including Start With Why . He studied law at London's City University and has a BA in cultural anthropology from Brandeis University.

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Would you like to learn Simon’s #1 rule for presenting? His method to captivate your audience right from the start? And his expert advice for preparing and outlining your presentation, while also being ready for the unexpected? In “The Art of Presenting,” Simon unveils these secrets and much more.

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The Art of Presenting with Simon Sinek

Simon has given countless talks to audiences of all sizes for nearly two decades. If there’s one thing he’s learned, it’s that the true power of a presentation isn’t actually about the content. It's about the manner in which you present the content. Here he explains why.

Learn Simon’s #1 rule to deliver a great presentation, which will revolutionize your approach to any presentation or public-speaking gig.

Simon dives into the anatomy of a successful presentation and how to create a stress-free outline that will put you in a position to inspire.

Are you accompanying your presentation with visuals? Great! Learn Simon’s advice on what to include and what to avoid on your slides for maximum impact.

Simon shows how to prepare for your next presentation, including how to power through performance anxiety and how to adapt when things go wrong with your tech.

Simon gives pointers on how to kick off your presentation right: Make an entrance, make a statement, and lead with a compelling story.

OK, you’re now in front of your audience and ready to roll. Simon teaches you how to keep the momentum with your stage presence and delivery.

Remember how we said that things will go wrong? Well, we weren’t just talking about A/V issues. Simon gives advice on how to roll with the blunders and expect the unexpected.

Simon imparts some words of wisdom and explains his personal motivations for the course before sending you out to make an impact during your next presentation.

Learn to inspire through the screen: Simon provides some final wisdom on how to present for a virtual audience.

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Meet Your Instructor

Simon Sinek is an unshakeable optimist and the founder of The Optimism Company. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Simon may be best known for his TED Talk on the concept of WHY, which has been viewed over 60 million times, and his video on millennials in the workplace—which reached 80 million views in its first week and has gone on to be seen hundreds of millions of times. 

He continues to share inspiration through his bestselling books, including global bestseller Start with WHY and New York Times bestsellers Leaders Eat Last and The Infinite Game , as well as his podcast, A Bit of Optimism .

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A spark is something quite small and, by itself, not very powerful. But a spark has the ability to ignite. An idea is like a spark; alone it is just a set of words, but it too can ignite. A great idea can inspire others to dream bigger. Let us all work together to ignite something greater than ourselves.

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How Great Leaders Inspire Action

How great leaders inspire action lyrics.

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Looking back through the history books there is a common theme that is hard to deny: Mankind has a unique ability to achieve – to turn dreams into reality. Of course, no (wo)man is an island . Meaningful achievement requires a dedicated group of people. So how is it that some leaders can inspire their peers to achieve great things, while others seem to fall short?

In this hugely successful TED Talk ( 3rd most watched all time! ), author and motivational speaker Simon Sinek shares his secret recipe for inspiring others: The Golden Circle .

Follow along with Simon’s inspiring talk on leadership as we break down his most important points here on Genius.

http://youtu.be/qp0HIF3SfI4

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The video on millennials in the workplace that everyone must watch.

In December, bestselling author Simon Sinek gave a 15-minute speech on the “millennial question” that sent tsunami-sized waves through the Internet, racking up over 5 million views on YouTube. Sinek, a corporate consultant and TED phenomenon, tapped into something big when he explained — in his clear, compelling and humorous way — why social-media obsessed millennials are having such a rough time adapting to the workplace. Now, as Sinek’s new book “ Find Your Why: A Practical Guide for Discovering Purpose for You and Your Team ” (Portfolio) hits the stands this fall, The Post has adapted an excerpt from his talk:

‘Apparently , millennials, as a generation, which is a group of people born approximately in 1994 and after, are tough to manage. And they’re accused of being entitled, narcissistic, self-interested, unfocused, lazy. But entitled is the big one. And because they confound leadership so much, what’s happening is leaders are asking the millennials, “What do you want?” And millennials are saying, “We want to work in a place with purpose, we want to make an impact, we want free food and beanbags.” So, there’s lots of free food and beanbags and yet for some reason, they’re still not happy. That’s because there’s a missing piece. What I’ve learned: I can break it down into four pieces, four things, four characteristics: parenting, technology, impatience, environment.

The generation, too many of them grew up subject to “failed parenting strategies.” Where, for example, they were told they were special, they were told they could have anything in life, just because they want it. Some of them got into honors classes, not because they deserved it, but because their parents complained. Some of them got participation medals. You got a medal for coming in last. The science we know is pretty clear — it devalues the medal and the reward for those who deserve it and work hard. It actually makes the [other] person embarrassed because they know they didn’t deserve it, so it makes them feel worse.

You take this group of people, they graduate school and they get a job, they’re thrust into the real world and in an instant they find out they’re not special, their moms can’t get them a promotion, that you get nothing for coming in last and, by the way, you can’t just have it because you want it. In an instant, their entire self-image is shattered. You have an entire generation that’s growing up with lower self-esteem than previous generations.

The other problem is we’re growing up in a Facebook/Instagram world. In other words, we’re good at putting filters on things. We’re good at showing people that life is amazing, even though “I’m depressed.” Everybody sounds tough, sounds like they’ve got it figured out. The reality is there’s very little toughness, and most people don’t have it figured out. You have an entire generation growing up with lower self-esteem than previous generations through no fault of their own.

Now, let’s add in technology. Engagement with social media, and our cellphones, releases a chemical called dopamine. That’s why when you get a text, it feels good. We’ve all had it — when you’re feeling a little bit down or lonely, so you send out 10 texts to 10 friends, “hi, hi, hi, hi, hi.” ’Cause it feels good when you get a response. It’s why we count the likes, it’s why you go back 10 times to see . . . and if it’s going . . . “My Instagram is growing slower! Did I do something wrong? Do they not like me anymore?” The trauma for young kids is to be unfriended.

Dopamine is the exact same chemical that makes us feel good when we smoke, when we drink, when we gamble. In other words, it’s highly, highly addictive. We have age restrictions on smoking, gambling and alcohol. We have no restrictions on social media and cellphones.

When stress starts to show up in their lives, they are not turning to a person, they’re turning to a device.

Almost every alcoholic discovered alcohol when they were teenagers. When we’re very, very young, the only approval we need is the approval of our parents. As we go through adolescence, we make this transition, where we now need the approval of our peers. Very frustrating for our parents, very important for us. It allows us to acculturate outside of our immediate families into the broader tribe. It’s a highly, highly stressful and anxious period of our lives. We’re supposed to learn to rely on our friends.

Some people, quite by accident, discover alcohol and the numbing effects of dopamine to help them cope with the stress and anxiety of adolescence. Unfortunately that becomes hard-wired in their brains. For the rest of their lives, when they suffer significant stress, they will not turn to a person, they will turn to the bottle. Social stress, career stress, financial stress, that’s pretty much the primary reasons why an alcoholic drinks, right?

What’s happening is, because we’re allowing unfettered access to these dopamine-producing devices and media, basically what we’re seeing is as they grow older, too many kids don’t know how to form deep meaningful relationships. Their words, not mine. They will admit that many of their relationships are superficial. They will admit that they don’t rely, can’t rely, on their friends. They have fun with their friends, but they also know that they will cancel on them if something better comes along. Deep, meaningful relationships are not there because they never practiced the skill set.

Worse, they don’t have the coping mechanisms to deal with stress. So, when stress starts to show up in their lives, they are not turning to a person, they’re turning to a device, they’re turning to social media, they’re turning to these things which offer temporary relief. We know, the science is clear! We know that people who spend more time on Facebook suffer higher rates of depression than those who spend less time on Facebook. These things balance. Alcohol is not bad, too much alcohol is bad. Gambling is fun, too much gambling is dangerous. There’s nothing wrong with social media and cellphones. It’s the imbalance.

If you’re sitting at dinner with your friends, and you’re texting someone who’s not there, that’s a problem, that’s an addiction. If you’re in a meeting, and you’re sitting with people you’re supposed to be listening to, and you put your phone on the table, face up or face down, I don’t care, that sends a subconscious message to the room: You’re just not that important to me right now.

That’s what happens. The fact that you can not put it away? That’s because you are addicted. If you wake up, and you check your phone before you say good morning to your girlfriend, boyfriend or spouse, you have an addiction. And like all addiction, in time, it’ll destroy relationships, it’ll cost time, it’ll cost money and it’ll make your life worse. So, you have a generation growing up with lower self-esteem that doesn’t have the coping mechanisms to deal with stress.

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Now you add in the sense of impatience. They’ve grown up in a world of instant gratification. You want to buy something? You go on Amazon, it arrives the next day. You wanna watch a movie? You log on, you don’t check movie times. You wanna watch a TV show? Binge. You don’t have to wait week to week to week. Right? I know people who skip seasons, just so they can binge at the end of the season. Instant gratification. You wanna go on a date? You don’t even have to learn how to be like, “Hey . . .” You don’t even have to learn and practice that skill. You don’t have to be uncomfortable. Swipe right! You don’t have to learn the social coping mechanisms.

Everything you want, you can have instantaneously. Except job satisfaction. And strength of relationships. There ain’t no app for that. Slow, meandering, uncomfortable messy processes. I keep meeting these wonderful, fantastic, idealistic, hardworking, smart kids. They’ve just graduated school, in their entry-level job. I sit down with them. I go, “How’s it going?” They go, “I think I’m gonna quit.” I go, “Why?” They’re like “I’m not making an impact.” I go, “You’ve been here 8 months.”

It’s as if they’re standing at the foot of the mountain and they have this abstract concept called “Impact the world,” and it’s the summit. What they don’t see is the mountain. I don’t care if you go up the mountain quickly or slowly. But there’s still a mountain.

What this young generation needs to learn is patience. That something that really, really matters, like love, or job fulfillment, joy, love of life, self-confidence, a skill set, any of these things, all of these things, take time. Sometimes, you can expedite bits of it. But the overall journey is arduous and long.

And if you don’t ask for help, and learn that skill set, you will fall off the mountain. The worst-case scenario? We’re already seeing it. Increase in suicide rates. In accidental deaths due to drug overdoses. We’re seeing more and more kids drop out of school or take leaves of absences due to depression. This is really bad. The best-case scenario? You’ll have an entire population growing up, going through life, never really finding joy. They’ll never really find fulfillment in work or in life. They’ll just waft through life. “It’s fine.” How’s your job? “It’s fine. Same as yesterday.” How’s your relationship? “It’s fine.” That’s the best-case scenario.

Which leads me to the fourth point, which is environment. We’re taking this amazing group of young, fantastic, kids who were just dealt a bad hand. Through no fault of their own, we put them in corporate environments that care more about the numbers than they do about the kids. They care more about the short-term gains than they do about the long term of this young human being. We care more about the year than the lifetime.

We are putting them in corporate environments that are not helping them build their confidence. That aren’t helping them learn the skills of cooperation. That aren’t helping them overcome the challenges of a digital world and finding more balance. That aren’t helping them overcome the need of instant gratification and teaching them the joys and impact and the fulfillment you get from working hard on something for a long time that cannot be done in a month or a year.

So we’re thrusting them into corporate environments, and the worst part? They think it’s them. They blame themselves. They think it’s them that can’t deal. It makes it all worse. It’s not. I’m here to tell them: It’s not them. It’s the corporations, it’s the corporate environments. It’s the total lack of good leadership.

There should be no cellphones in conference rooms. None. Zero.

In our world today, that’s making them feel the way they do. I hate to say it, but it’s the company’s responsibility — sucks to be you. But we have no choice. Right? This is what we got. I wish that society and their parents did a better job. But they didn’t. So we’re in our companies, and we now have to pick up the slack.

We have to work extra hard, to figure out the ways to rebuild their confidence. We have to work extra hard to find ways to teach them the social skills they’re missing out on. There should be no cellphones in conference rooms. None. Zero.

When you’re sitting and waiting for a meeting to start, this is what we all do [pantomimes intense texting]. That’s not how relationships are formed. Remember we talked about it’s the little things? We’re sitting there and we go, “How’s your dad? I heard he was in the hospital . . .” “Oh, he’s really good. He’s actually at home now.” “Oh, I’m really glad.” “Thanks for asking, it was really scary for a while.” That’s how you form relationships. “Did you get that report done?” “Oh, I totally forgot.” “I’ll help you out with it.” “Really?” That’s how trust forms. It doesn’t form in a day. It’s the slow steady consistencies.

We have to create mechanisms where we allow for those innocuous interactions to happen. When you’re out for dinner with your friends . . . I do this with my friends: We leave our phones at home. Maybe one of us will bring a phone, in case we need to call an Uber or take a picture of our meal. I’m an idealist, but I’m not insane. We’ll take one phone. It’s like an alcoholic. The reason you take the alcohol out of the house is because we cannot trust our willpower. We’re just not strong enough.

But when you remove the temptation, it actually makes it a lot easier. [And] if you don’t have the phone? You just kinda enjoy the world. And that’s where ideas happen. The constant engagement is not where you have ideas. Ideas happen when our minds wander, and you see something and think “I could do that.” That’s called innovation.

We’re taking away all those moments. None of us should charge our phones by our beds. We should charge our phones in the living room. Remove the temptation.

You wake up in the middle of the night because you can’t sleep? If it’s in the living room, it’s relaxed, it’s fine.

“It’s my alarm clock,” you say! Buy an alarm clock. It costs $8. I’ll buy you an alarm clock. The point is, we now, in the industry, whether we like it or not, we don’t get a choice, we have a responsibility to make up the shortfall. And to help this amazing idealistic, fantastic generation build their confidence, learn patience, learn the social skills. Find a better balance between life and technology. Because, quite frankly, it’s the right thing to do.

IMAGES

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COMMENTS

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