essay on the true friends

True Friendship Essay

500 words true friendship essay.

Friendship is an essential part of everyone’s lives. One cannot do without friends, we must have some friends to make life easier. However, lucky are those who get true friendship in life. It is not the same as friendship. True friendship is when the person stays by you through thick and thin. Through true friendship essay, we will look at what it means and its importance.

Importance of True Friendship

Friendship has a significant value in our lives. It is responsible for teaching us a lot of unforgettable lessons. Some are even life-changing so we must cherish friendship. It is not common to find true friendship in life.

But when you do, make sure to hold on tightly to it. True friendship teaches us how to love others who are not our family. Ultimately, our friends also become our family. A true friendship makes life easy and gives us good times.

Thus, when the going gets tough, we depend on our friends for solace. Sometimes, it is not possible to share everything with family , that is where friends come in. We can share everything with them without the fear of being judged.

Moreover, true friendship also results in good memories. You spend time with friends and enjoy it to the fullest, later on, the same moments become beautiful memories. Only a true friendship will cheer on you and help you do better in life.

Through true friendship, we learn about loyalty and reliability. When you have a true friend by your side, nothing can stop you. Your confidence enhances and you become happier in life. Thus, it changes our life for the better and keeps us happy.

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Maintaining True Friendship

While it is lucky to get true friendship in life, it is also important to maintain this friendship so that one does not lose out on it. A time comes when we separate from our true friends, but one shouldn’t let distance act as a barrier.

It is essential to keep in touch with your friends so they know you are there for them. Most importantly, we must give our friends the love and respect they deserve. It is essential to treat them nicely so they never forget their worth.

Further, we must also remain honest with our friends. If you do not offer them all this, your friendship may begin to fade. Thus, make sure to pour equal shares of love, respect and honesty.

Conclusion of True Friendship Essay

Thus, we must never rush to make friends. Remember, true friendship cannot be faked. It will need a good foundation. So, a true friendship accepts the person for who they are instead of changing them. A true friendship will never have an ulterior motive, it will always offer selflessly.

FAQ on True Friendship Essay

Question 1: What are the signs of true friendship?

Answer 1: The signs of a true friendship are that they will accept you for who you are instead of trying to change you. Similarly, they will be there for you in good and bad times. They will celebrate your achievements and push you to do better if you fail. Most importantly, they will tell you the truth even if you don’t like it.

Question 2: Who is a true friend?

Answer 2: A true friend is someone who is always completely honest. Moreover, even if we don’t talk to them every day, we know they will be there for us. Thus, silence never gets awkward with them. We may not talk to them or see them for a long time, but when we meet them, it will be like old times.

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Essay on True Friendship

Students are often asked to write an essay on True Friendship in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on True Friendship

Introduction.

True friendship is a precious bond shared between individuals. It is a relationship built on trust, respect, and mutual affection. Friends are always there to support and encourage each other.

Qualities of True Friendship

In a true friendship, friends are honest with each other. They share joys, sorrows, and secrets without fear of judgment. They respect each other’s differences and celebrate their similarities.

The Value of True Friendship

True friendship enriches our lives. It provides a sense of belonging and emotional security. It helps us grow as individuals and learn important life lessons.

In conclusion, true friendship is a priceless treasure that should be cherished and nurtured. It is a source of joy, support, and personal growth.

Also check:

• Paragraph on True Friendship

250 Words Essay on True Friendship

The essence of true friendship.

True friendship is a profound human connection characterized by mutual respect, understanding, and unconditional support. It transcends superficial interactions, as it is rooted in shared experiences, empathy, and a genuine desire for the other’s wellbeing.

The Pillars of Friendship

The pillars of true friendship are trust, honesty, and loyalty. Trust is the bedrock, allowing friends to confide in each other without fear of judgment or betrayal. Honesty, on the other hand, ensures transparency, even when the truth is hard to bear. Loyalty solidifies the bond, ensuring that friends stand by each other in times of adversity.

Friendship and Personal Growth

True friendship fosters personal growth. Friends challenge each other, encourage personal development, and stimulate intellectual growth. They serve as mirrors, reflecting our strengths and weaknesses, thereby helping us understand ourselves better.

The Test of Time

The test of time is a definitive measure of true friendship. As life evolves, circumstances change, and people grow, only those friendships that adapt and grow with these changes stand the test of time. They are not threatened by distance or time apart; instead, they are strengthened by these challenges.

In conclusion, true friendship is a unique bond that enriches our lives. It is a testament to the human capacity for empathy, understanding, and unconditional love. The value of such a relationship is immeasurable, making it one of life’s most cherished treasures.

500 Words Essay on True Friendship

A true friendship is a connection that transcends the boundaries of self, creating a bond that is both profound and essential. It is a relationship that is not based on any superficiality but on mutual respect, understanding, and shared values. This essay delves into the essence of true friendship, its importance, and how it shapes our lives.

True friendship is not merely about spending time together or enjoying shared interests. It’s about a deep emotional connection, a sense of trust, and mutual respect. It’s about being there for each other, in good times and bad, without any expectations or judgments. It’s about understanding each other’s silences as much as words, and valuing each other’s individuality while fostering growth.

The Importance of True Friendship

True friendship plays a vital role in shaping our lives. It provides emotional support, helping us navigate through life’s ups and downs. It fosters personal growth by challenging our perspectives, encouraging us to step out of our comfort zones, and promoting self-improvement. Moreover, a true friend can be a mirror, reflecting our strengths and weaknesses without any bias, thus helping us grow as individuals.

True Friendship and Personal Growth

The value of true friendship in personal growth cannot be overstated. A true friend acts as a sounding board for our thoughts and ideas, providing constructive feedback and offering different perspectives. They push us to be better versions of ourselves, not by imposing their views, but by encouraging us to introspect and evolve. They celebrate our successes and help us learn from our failures, thus playing an instrumental role in our personal development.

The Challenges of True Friendship

Despite its manifold benefits, true friendship requires effort and commitment. It necessitates open communication, understanding, and empathy. It demands the ability to forgive, to compromise, and to accept each other’s flaws. The challenges of maintaining a true friendship can be daunting, but the rewards it brings are invaluable.

In conclusion, true friendship is a priceless treasure that enriches our lives in myriad ways. It is a bond that nurtures our emotional wellbeing, promotes personal growth, and adds meaning to our lives. While it does pose challenges, the effort invested in cultivating and maintaining a true friendship is well worth the rewards it yields. True friendship, thus, is not just about companionship; it’s about growing together, learning together, and building a bond that stands the test of time.

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Unbreakable Bonds: The Essence of True Friendship

In the beautifully complex tapestry of life, friendships form one of the most vibrant threads. Friendships, particularly those that transcend superficial interaction and delve into the realm of true, meaningful connections, leave lasting imprints on our lives. The essence of true friendship is a unique blend of shared experiences, unconditional support, and deep understanding, forging unbreakable bonds that enrich our existence. In this post, ‘Unbreakable Bonds: The Essence of True Friendship,’ we will explore the profound importance of these friendships and their lifelong impact.

True friendships are not a luxury; they are a necessity. They act as pillars of support when we need strength, sources of joy in times of happiness, and provide comfort during moments of sorrow. These relationships foster growth, empowering us to evolve and navigate life’s challenges with increased resilience. Understanding the importance of such bonds is essential as it allows us to cherish and cultivate these relationships more consciously.

Additionally, true friendships leave an indelible mark on our lives. The shared laughter, the silent understanding, the triumphs, and even the disagreements, all contribute to shaping our character and perspective. They enrich our lives, provide a sense of belonging, and enhance our overall wellbeing. As we delve further into this topic, we will uncover the various facets of genuine friendships and the remarkable influence they have on our journey through life.

Join us as we journey through the realms of friendship, appreciating its inherent value, and recognizing its role in shaping our life story.

What is True Friendship?

Friendship is a relationship universally celebrated, crossing cultural, geographic, and age boundaries. But not all friendships are created equal, and those that stand the test of time, weathering all storms, are what we define as ‘true’ friendships. True friendship is an emotional bond marked by mutual respect, understanding, and a shared sense of camaraderie. It’s a connection that enriches our lives and supports our growth, both personally and emotionally.

So, what distinguishes a true friend from a casual acquaintance? Certain qualities set these friendships apart, fostering bonds that remain unbroken, regardless of the challenges life throws their way. Let’s explore these qualities in more depth .

Genuine Support and Understanding

Being there for each other through thick and thin is a cornerstone of true friendship. Friends celebrate our triumphs, cheer us on when we’re striving for goals, and provide comfort during times of struggle. They are our champions in success and our solace in distress.

Empathy is a defining trait of true friendship. True friends have an innate ability to understand and share the feelings of others. They don’t merely sympathize; they empathize, putting themselves in our shoes and experiencing our emotions along with us. This profound understanding cultivates a bond of trust and mutual respect, making true friendship a sanctuary where we feel valued and heard.

Active listening is another key element. A true friend listens attentively, making an effort to understand our feelings and perspectives rather than merely waiting for their turn to speak. This kind of meaningful communication promotes deeper emotional connection and reinforces the bond of friendship.

Loyalty and Reliability

Loyalty and reliability are integral to the definition of true friendship. A loyal friend stands by our side, regardless of the circumstances, never wavering in their support. Their steadfastness acts as a beacon, providing us with a sense of stability and assurance that we’re not alone, no matter what.

Dependability is a trait synonymous with true friendship. Reliable friends keep their promises, stay true to their word, and are there when we need them the most. This trustworthiness builds a sense of security and trust in the relationship, further strengthening the bond.

Consistency is the glue that holds true friendships together. Friends may not be present physically at all times, but they remain a constant emotional presence, lending a sense of continuity and reliability to the relationship.

Acceptance and Authenticity

True friends accept us as we are, quirks, flaws, and all. They celebrate our strengths and help us navigate our weaknesses without judgement. This unconditional acceptance fosters a safe space where we can be our authentic selves without fear of criticism or rejection.

Being genuine and transparent is a hallmark of true friendship. Authentic friends are sincere, honest, and open, not afraid to show vulnerability or express emotions. Their genuineness resonates with us, fostering deeper connections.

A non-judgmental attitude is key in a true friendship. True friends respect our individuality and our right to make decisions, even when they disagree with them. They offer advice when needed but refrain from imposing their beliefs or values. This freedom to be ourselves without judgement further enhances the bond of true friendship.

True friendships, embodying these qualities, provide an enriching experience that transcends ordinary social interaction. These bonds illuminate our lives, offering a blend of companionship, support, and love that’s hard to find elsewhere. In the face of life’s inevitable changes, true friendships are the unchanging constants, the unbreakable bonds that stand strong amidst the chaos. As we navigate life’s journey, these friendships are our anchors, grounding us and reminding us of who we truly are.

The Power of True Friendship

True friendships carry immense power, influencing not only our daily interactions but also shaping our mental health , personal growth, and overall happiness. The influence of these unbreakable bonds permeates various aspects of our lives, reinforcing our resilience and contributing to a robust sense of well-being. Let’s explore the dynamic power of true friendships and their transformative impact.

Impacts on Mental Health and Well-being

True friendships provide a critical support system, particularly in terms of mental health. Friends act as sounding boards, providing empathy and understanding during times of stress , anxiety, or sadness. This emotional support can significantly alleviate mental health issues, promoting a sense of calm and stability.

Additionally, true friends can help us recognize when professional help may be needed, encouraging us to seek therapy or counseling when we may not recognize it ourselves. Thus, the role of true friendships is paramount in fostering a healthy, balanced mental state.

Nurturing Personal Growth and Development

Personal growth and development is another area where true friendships cast a significant influence. Friends challenge us, push us out of our comfort zones, and inspire us to reach new heights. By celebrating our successes and providing constructive criticism during failures, they foster an environment conducive to personal development.

Furthermore, friends provide diverse perspectives, enabling us to view situations from various angles and broaden our understanding of the world. This exposure to different viewpoints encourages intellectual growth, enhancing our problem-solving skills and ability to empathize with others.

Enhancing Overall Happiness and Resilience

True friendships contribute greatly to our overall happiness . Shared experiences, laughter, and memories create a rich tapestry of joy that enhances our lives. Moreover, the knowledge that we have a reliable support system in our corner boosts our confidence and self-esteem, leading to greater overall happiness.

Resilience, the ability to bounce back from adversity, is another attribute nurtured by true friendships. Friends provide emotional support during tough times, helping us cope with life’s challenges. Their presence fosters resilience, enabling us to navigate difficult situations with increased strength and positivity.

In conclusion, the power of true friendship is profound, significantly impacting our mental health, personal growth, happiness, and resilience. These unbreakable bonds, characterized by mutual respect, understanding, and support, are indeed a life-enhancing blessing, an essence of life worth cherishing.

Nurturing and Maintaining True Friendships

True friendships are akin to a flourishing garden; they require nurturing, maintenance, and a consistent investment of time and effort. These bonds, built on mutual respect and trust, are cultivated through effective communication and a shared commitment to the relationship. Let’s delve into the principles that underpin the nurturing and maintaining of true friendships.

Effective Communication and Open Dialogue

Clear, open communication forms the foundation of true friendships. It involves expressing feelings honestly, listening attentively, and maintaining an open dialogue about shared experiences and individual perspectives. Effective communication fosters understanding, strengthens the bond, and ensures that both parties feel valued and heard.

Cultivating Mutual Trust and Respect

Trust and respect are paramount in true friendships. These bonds thrive on mutual trust, built on sincerity, reliability, and confidentiality. Respect, on the other hand, acknowledges individuality, appreciates differences, and fosters a non-judgmental atmosphere. Cultivating these twin pillars strengthens friendship and enhances its longevity.

Investing Time and Effort in the Relationship

Friendships require an investment of time and effort to sustain and deepen the bond. This might involve regular communication, spending quality time together, and actively participating in each other’s lives. Such investments serve to strengthen the connection and reinforce the mutual commitment to the friendship.

Quality Over Quantity

Understanding the value of true friendships often means focusing on quality over quantity. A few deep, meaningful relationships can be more fulfilling and enriching than numerous superficial acquaintances. This involves cultivating deeper connections based on shared values, mutual understanding, and shared experiences.

Managing expectations is another key aspect of this principle. Recognizing that every friendship is unique and setting realistic expectations about the level of commitment, communication, and mutual support can prevent misunderstandings and foster healthier relationships.

Being a True Friend

The essence of true friendship lies in reciprocity. Being a true friend means reciprocating the support, understanding, and appreciation that we seek in our friends. It involves being present and available, not just in times of crisis, but also in everyday moments.

Supporting friends, celebrating their achievements, and showing appreciation for their presence in our lives can greatly enhance the bond. It sends a clear message of love and respect, strengthening the connection and reinforcing the value we place on the friendship.

In conclusion, nurturing and maintaining true friendships is a dynamic, ongoing process that involves open communication, mutual trust and respect, and a genuine investment of time and effort. The journey, while requiring commitment, is profoundly rewarding, resulting in bonds that enrich our lives and stand the test of time.

Recognizing Toxic Friendships

While true friendships offer enriching experiences and emotional support, it’s crucial to recognize when a friendship becomes toxic and detrimental to our well-being. Identifying red flags early on can help us take the necessary steps to address the situation and, if needed, sever the ties that are causing harm. Let’s discuss how to recognize toxic friendships, their impact on well-being, and when to consider letting go.

Identifying Red Flags

Toxic friendships often involve consistent patterns of negative behavior. Some red flags may include one-sided relationships, where the give-and-take is imbalanced; manipulation or control; incessant criticism or belittlement; betrayal of trust; or lack of respect for personal boundaries. These behaviors can gradually erode the foundation of a friendship and should not be ignored.

The Impact of Toxic Friendships on Well-being

Toxic friendships can significantly impact our mental and emotional well-being. They often breed negativity, causing stress, anxiety, and a decrease in self-esteem. Over time, these friendships can lead to feelings of frustration, sadness, or isolation, impacting our overall happiness and potentially causing long-term damage to our mental health.

Deciding When to Let Go

Letting go of a toxic friendship is a personal decision and often a challenging one. If a friendship consistently drains you, makes you feel bad about yourself, or affects your mental health negatively, it might be time to consider letting go.

It’s important to communicate your feelings first, providing the friend an opportunity to address and rectify the issues. However, if negative patterns persist despite communication and efforts to change, stepping away from the friendship might be the best course of action.

Remember, it’s essential to prioritize your mental and emotional health . While it can be painful to end a friendship, sometimes it’s the healthiest choice to make. Releasing toxic ties can open up space for more positive relationships and experiences, leading to enhanced well-being and personal growth.

In conclusion, recognizing toxic friendships is an integral aspect of nurturing healthy relationships . Being aware of the red flags and the negative impacts on well-being enables us to make informed decisions about when to let go, paving the way for more fulfilling, supportive, and enriching connections.

Celebrating True Friendship

True friendships, the unbreakable bonds that enrich our lives, are indeed worth celebrating. Expressing gratitude, creating shared memories, and marking milestones and achievements are some of the ways we can appreciate and honor these precious relationships. In this part, we’ll explore how to celebrate true friendships and foster deeper connections .

Expressing Gratitude

An important aspect of celebrating true friendship is expressing gratitude. A simple ‘thank you’ can go a long way in acknowledging the love, support, and understanding that true friends offer. It can be a personal note, a heartfelt conversation, or even a token of appreciation. Expressing gratitude not only strengthens the bond but also reinforces the positive elements of the friendship.

Creating Meaningful Memories Together

Shared experiences and memories form the bedrock of true friendships. Whether it’s an adventure-filled trip, a quiet evening of heartfelt conversations, or a shared hobby or passion, these experiences create lasting memories. Investing time in creating these shared moments can greatly enhance the connection, adding depth and richness to the friendship.

Celebrating Milestones and Achievements

Recognizing and celebrating each other’s milestones and achievements is another significant way of honoring true friendships. Whether it’s a career advancement, a personal accomplishment, or even overcoming a challenging phase, celebrating these moments together conveys support, pride, and admiration.

Moreover, it emphasizes the shared journey and mutual growth, enhancing the sense of camaraderie and deepening the bond. Celebrating together also creates joyous memories, adding to the repository of shared experiences that characterize true friendships.

In conclusion, celebrating true friendship is an enriching experience that can significantly deepen the bond. It involves recognizing the value of the relationship, creating shared memories, and rejoicing in each other’s achievements. As we celebrate these unbreakable bonds, we enrich our own lives, fostering connections that offer support, understanding, and shared joy.

The journey through the varied facets of true friendship underlines the beauty and significance these relationships hold in our lives. These unbreakable bonds, formed on the foundations of mutual respect, understanding, and shared experiences, serve as anchors, providing us with support, joy, and a sense of belonging. As we conclude, let’s reflect on the ways to nurture and cherish these special connections that can last a lifetime.

The beauty of true friendship lies in its authenticity. It is a bond that transcends surface-level interactions, delving into a realm of deep understanding, mutual respect, and shared growth. Each true friendship in our life adds a unique flavor, enhancing our life experience with its individual dynamics.

However, like any meaningful relationship, these friendships need nurturing. Open communication, mutual respect, and consistent investment of time and effort are vital to maintaining these relationships. Celebrating shared memories and milestones, expressing gratitude, and being there for each other in times of need are ways to cherish these bonds.

Moreover, it’s essential to recognize when a friendship turns toxic and learn to let go when necessary, prioritizing our mental and emotional well-being. This balance of nurturing healthy relationships and acknowledging unhealthy ones is a crucial aspect of managing our social connections.

In a world that often emphasizes romantic and familial relationships, let’s not forget the profound impact of true friendships. These relationships, often forged by choice rather than obligation or blood ties, offer a unique blend of companionship, understanding, and shared growth. They are indeed unbreakable bonds that can last a lifetime, enriching our existence with their unwavering presence.

As we continue on our individual journeys, let’s carry forward the essence of true friendship, nurturing these relationships that not only offer companionship but also help shape our lives. May we always find joy in these unbreakable bonds and cherish the warmth, support, and understanding they bring into our lives.

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Essay on Friendship

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Friendship is a divine relationship, which is defined by neither blood nor any other similarity. Who is in this world does not have a friend?

A friend, with whom you just love to spend your time, can share your joys and sorrows. Most importantly you need not fake yourself and just be what you are. That is what friendship is all about. It is one of the most beautiful of the relations in the world. Students of today need to understand the values of friendship and therefore we have composed different long essays for students as well as short essays.

Audience: The below given essays are exclusively written for school students (Class 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 Standard).

Introduction:

Friendship is considered as one of the treasures that anyone can possess. God has given us the liberty to choose friends because they are for our lifetime. It is quite normal for our parents and siblings to love us because they are our own blood but a friend is someone who is initially a stranger and then takes his/her place above all the other relations. Friendship is nothing but pure love without any expectations.

Role of a Friend:

True friends share and support each other even during the toughest of times. A true friend is one who feels happy for our success, who feel sad for our failures, fight with us for silly things and hugs us the next second, gets angry on us when we do any mistakes. Friendship is all about having true friends who can understand us without the need for us to speak.

Conclusion:

Friendship is very essential for a happy life. Even a two-minute chat with a friend will make us forget our worries. That is the strength of friendship.

Friendship is a divine relationship, which is defined by neither blood nor any other similarity. Friends are those you can choose for yourself in spite of the difference you both have from each other. A good friend in need will do wonders in your life, whenever you are in need of self-realization, upbringing your confidence and more.

Friendship serves you best not only in your happiest moments but also when you feel low in emotions. A life without a good friend is not at all complete and an emptiness will be felt all the time you think of sharing your emotion that can’t be told to anyone else.

Honesty and Patience in Friendship:

To maintain and keep going with a good deep friendship, honesty is the most important factor. You should choose a person who can be cent percent honest with you in all perspective like emotions, decision making, etc. Trustworthy friendship will help you to take better decisions and choose a better path for your future well-being.

Tolerance and patience with each other are another important characteristics of long-lasting friendship. Accepting the differences, friends should be able to be with each other in all situations. As a friend, the person should lead the other to success by being a motivation and criticize the person if they choose the wrong path.

Friendship will give you sweet and happy memories that can be cherished for a lifetime and if you succeed in maintaining that precious relation, then you are the luckiest person in this world. Love and care for each other will cherish the relationship and helps the person to appreciate each thing done without any fail.

Of all the different relations which we indulge in, friendship is considered to be the purest of them all. Friendship is the true confluence of souls with like minded attitude that aids in seamless conversation and the best of times. It is believed that a person who doesn’t have any friend lives one of the toughest lives.

The Desire to Belong:

Each one of us have been so programmed that we need a companion even if it’s not romantic, someone just to tag along. There are several definitions of friendship and it is upon you as to how you believe your relation to be. Friendship can happen when you are simply sharing a bowl of food with a person day after day. It can be expressed in the way you silently care for someone even when they may not be aware of your existence.

The Little Moments that Matter:

It is giving up the little things you love dearly for the sake of someone you cherish a great deal. Friendship often refers to the little moments of senseless laugh you two share when the rest of the world starts to look bleak. It is to know what your friend needs and being there for them even when the rest of the world has turned their back towards them.

Friendship is the kind of relation which sometimes even exceeds the realms of love because it is all about giving without even once bothering to sense what you shall get back. Every time spent is special because when you are with friends, you don’t feel the blues!

The Bottom-Line:

Of course the definition of friendship is going to vary a great deal from one person to another. But, remember one thing, when you are friends with someone, be prepared to put your heart on the line for their happiness because friendship often manifests into love, even if it is not romantic, it always is true!

Friendship is the most valuable as well as precious gifts of life. Friendship is one of the most valued relationship. People who have good friends enjoy the most in their live. True friendship is based on loyalty & support. A good friend is a person who will stand with you when times are tough. A friend is someone special on whom you can rely on to celebrate a special moment. Friendship is like a life asset and it can lead us to success. It all depends on our choice how we choose our friends.

The quality of friendship is essential for happiness. The benefits of healthy friendship remains long-life. In addition, having a strong friend circle also improves our self-confidence. Due to the strong relationship, we get much emotional support during our bad times. True friendship is a feeling of love & care.

Real friendship cannot be built within limited boundaries like caste or creed. It gives us a feeling that someone really needs us & we are not alone. This is true that man cannot live alone. True friends are needed in every stage of life to survive. A true friend can be an old person or a child. But it is generally believed that we make friend with people who are of the same age as ours. Same age group can give you the freedom to share anything.

The selection of a true friend is also a challenging task. We have to carefully make our friend selection. Friends might come & go. They will make you laugh & cry. Wrong selection can create various problems for you. In the modern world, many youngsters become a social nuisance. The reason behind it is wrong & bad friendships.

But if we successfully choose the right person as a friend then our life becomes easier. It doesn’t matter who you are, what type of clothes you wear. The most important thing is trust because the relation of friendship stands on the pillars of trust.

Friendship is a relation which can make or break us in every stage of life. But in other words, friendship is an asset which is really precious. Obviously, it is also not so easy to maintain friendships. It demands your time as well as efforts. Last but not the least, it is hard to find true friendship but once you succeed in this task you will have a wonderful time. In exchange for that a friend will only need your valuable time and trust.

The idea of friendship is either heartwarming or gives cold feet depending on individuals and the types of friendships. In the current world, friendships have had different definitions based on the morality and civilization of the society. Ideally, friendship is defined as the state of mutual trust between individuals or parties. Trust is an important component of friendship because it determines the reliability and longevity of the friendship. Trust is built through honest communications between the individuals and interested parties.

Once trust has been established, mutual understanding and support being to form the resulting in a friendship. This friendship can be broken through lack of trust. Trust can be breached through deceit and/ or some people, it differs with the frequencies. There are people who will break friendships after only one episode of dishonesty whereas some people give second chances and even more chances. Friendship types determine the longevity and the causes of breakups. The importance of friendship in the lives of individuals is the reason why friendships are formed in the first place.

Types of Friendships:

According to Aristotle’s Nichomachean ethics, there are three types of friendships. The friendships are based on three factors i.e. utility, pleasure and goodness. The first type of friendship is based on utility and has been described as a friendship whereby both parties gain from each other.

This type of friendship is dependent on the benefits and that is what keeps the friendship going. This type of friendships do not last long because it dissolves as soon as the benefits are outsourced or when other sources are found outside the friendship. The friendship was invented for trade purposes because when two people with opposite things that depend on each other re put together, trade is maximized.

The second type of friendship is based on pleasure. This is described as friendship in which two individuals are drawn to each other based on desires of pleasure and is characterized by passionate feelings and feelings of belonging. This type of friendship can ether last long or is short-lived depending on the presence of the attraction between the two parties.

The third type of friendship is based on goodness. In this friendship, the goodness of people draw them to each other and they usually have the same virtues. The friendship involves loving each other and expecting goodness. It takes long to develop this kind of friendship but it usually lasts longest and is actually the best kind of friendship to be in. the importance of such a friendship is the social support and love.

In conclusion, friendships are important in the lives of individuals. Trust builds and sustains friendships. The different types of friendships are important because they provide benefits and social support. Friendships provide a feeling of belonging and dependence. The durability of friendships is dependent on the basis of its formation and the intention during the formation. Friendships that last long are not based on materialistic gain, instead, they are based on pure emotion.

Friendship is an emotion of care, mutual trust, and fondness among two persons. A friend might be a work-mate, buddy, fellow student or any individual with whom we feel an attachment.

In friendship, people have a mutual exchange of sentiments and faith too. Usually, the friendship nurtures more amongst those people who belong to a similar age as they possess the same passions, interests, sentiments, and opinions. During the school days, kids who belong to the similar age group have a common dream about their future and this makes them all of them get closer in friendship.

In the same way, employees working in business organizations also make friends as they are working together for attaining the organizational objectives. It does not matter that to which age group you belong, friendship can happen at any time of your life.

Benefits of Friendship:

Sometimes friendship is essential in our life. Below are a few benefits of friendship.

1. It’s impossible to live your life alone always but friendship fills that gap quickly with the friend’s company.

2. You can easily pass the rigidities of life with the friendship as in your distress period your friends are always there to help you.

3. Friendship teaches you how to remain happy in life.

4. In case of any confusion or problem, your friendship will always benefit you with good opinions.

True and Dishonest Friendship:

True friendship is very rare in today’s times. There are so many persons who support only those people who are in power so that they can fulfil their selfish motives below the name of friendship. They stay with friends till the time their selfish requirements are achieved. Dishonest friends leave people as soon as their power gets vanished. You can find these types of self-seeking friends all around the world who are quite hurtful than enemies.

Finding a true friendship is very difficult. A true friend helps the other friend who is in need. It does not matter to him that his friend is right or wrong but he will always support his friend at the time of his difficulty.

Carefulness in the Selection of Friendship:

You must be very careful while choosing friends. You should nurture your friendship with that person who does not leave you in your bad times easily. Once you get emotionally attached to the wrong person you cannot finish your friendship so soon. True friendship continues till the time of your last breaths and does not change with the passing time.

Friendship with a bad person also affects your own thoughts and habits. Therefore, a bad person should not be chosen in any type of circumstances. We must do friendship with full attention and carefulness.

Best Qualities of Good Friendship:

Good friendship provides people an enormous love to each other.

The below are the important qualities of good friendship:

1. Good friendship is always faithful, honest, and truthful.

2. People pay attention and take note of others thoughts in good friendship.

3. Persons quickly forget and let off the mistakes of the other friend. In fact, they accept their friend in the way they are actually.

4. You are not judged on the basis of your success, money or power in it.

5. Friends do not feel shy to provide us with valuable opinions for our welfare.

6. People always share their joyful times with their good friends and also stay ready to help their friends in the time of need.

7. True friends also support others in their professional as well as personal life. They encourage their friends in the area of their interest.

Friendship is established over the sacrifice, love, faith, and concern of mutual benefit. True Friendship is a support and a blessing for everybody. All those males and females who have true and genuine friends are very lucky really.

Friendship can simply be defined as a form of mutual relationship or understanding between two people or more who interact and are attached to one another in a manner that is friendly. A friendship is a serious relationship of devotion between two or more people where people involved have a true and sincere feeling of affection, care and love towards each other devoid of any misunderstanding and without demands.

Primarily friendship happens between people that have the same sentiments, feelings and tastes. It is believed that there is no limit or criteria for friendship. All of the different creed, religion, caste, position, sex and age do not matter when it comes to friendship even though friendships can sometimes be damaged by economic disparity and other forms of differentiation. From all of these, it can be concluded that real and true friendship is very possible between people that have a uniform status and are like-minded.

A lot of friends we have in the world today only remain together in times of prosperity and absence of problems but only the faithful, sincere and true friends remain all through the troubles, times of hardships and our bad times. We only discover who our bad and good friends are in the times where we don’t have things going our way.

Most people want to be friends with people with money and we can’t really know if our friends are true when we have money and do not need their help, we only discover our true friends when we need their help in terms of money or any other form of support. A lot of friendships have been jeopardised because of money and the absence or presence of it.

Sometimes, we might face difficulty or crises in our friendships because of self-respect and ego. Friendships can be affected by us or others and we need to try to strike a balance in our friendships. For our friendship to prosper and be true, we need satisfaction, proper understanding and a trustworthy nature. As true friends, we should never exploit our friends but instead do our utmost best to motivate and support them in doing and attaining the very best things in life.

The true meaning of friendship is sometimes lost because of encounters with fake friends who have used and exploited us for their own personal benefits. People like this tend to end the friendship once they get what they want or stab their supposed friends in the back just to get what they think is best for them. Friendship is a very good thing that can help meet our need for companionship and other emotional needs.

In the world we live in today, it is extremely difficult to come across good and loyal friends and this daunting task isn’t made any easier by the lie and deceit of a lot of people in this generation. So, when one finds a very good and loyal important, it is like finding gold and one should do everything to keep friends like that.

The pursuit of true friendship Is not limited to humans, we can as well find good friends in animals; for example, it is a popular belief that dogs make the best friends. It is very important to have good friends as they help us in times and situations where we are down and facing difficulties. Our true friends always do their best to save us when we are in danger and also provide us with timely and good advice. True friends are priceless assets in our lives, they share our pains and sorrow, help provide relief to us in terrible situations and do their best to make us happy.

Friends can both be the good or the bad types. Good friends help push us on the right path in life while on the other hand, bad friends don’t care about us but only care about themselves and can lead us into the wrong path; because of this, we have to be absolutely careful when choosing our friends in this life.

Bad friends can ruin our lives completely so we have to be weary of them and do our best to avoid bag friends totally. We need friends in our life that will be there for us at every point in time and will share all of our feeling with us, both the good and bad. We need friends we can talk to anytime we are feeling lonely, friends that will make us laugh and smile anytime we are feeling sad.

What is friendship? It is the purest form of relationship between two individual with no hidden agenda. As per the dictionary, it is the mutual affection between people. But, is it just a mutual affection? Not always, as in the case of best friends, it is far beyond that. Great friends share each other’s feelings or notions which bring a feeling of prosperity and mental fulfillment.

A friend is a person whom one can know deeply, as and trust for eternity. Rather than having some likeness in the idea of two people associated with the friendship, they have some extraordinary qualities yet they want to be with each other without changing their uniqueness. By and large, friends spur each other without censuring, however at times great friends scrutinize do affect you in a positive manner.

Importance of Friendship:

It is very important to have a friend in life. Each friend is vital and their significance in known to us when certain circumstances emerge which must be supported by our friends. One can never feel lonely in this world on the off chance that he or she is embraced by true friends. Then again, depression wins in the lives of the individuals who don’t have friends regardless of billions of individuals present on the planet. Friends are particularly vital amid times of emergency and hardships. On the off chance that you wind up experiencing a hard time, having a friend to help you through can make the change simpler.

Having friends you can depend on can help your confidence. Then again, an absence of friends can make you feel lonely and without help, which makes you powerless for different issues, for example, sadness and drug abuse. Having no less than one individual you can depend on will formulate your confidence.

Choosing Your Friends Wisely:

Not all friends can instill the positivity in your life. There can be negative effects as well. It is very important to choose your friends with utmost wisdom. Picking the right friend is somewhat troublesome task however it is extremely important. In the event that for instance a couple of our dear friends are engaged with negative behaviour patterns, for example, smoking, drinking and taking drugs, at some point or another we will be attracted to their bad habits as well. This is the reason behind why it is appropriate to settle on an appropriate decision with regards to making friends.

Genuine friendship is truly a gift delighted in by a couple. The individuals who have it ought to express gratitude toward God for having genuine pearls in their lives and the individuals who don’t have a couple of good friends ought to always take a stab at better approaches to anchor great friends. No organization is superior to having a friend close by in the midst of need. You will stay cheerful in your one-room flat on the off chance that you are surrounded by your friends; then again, you can’t discover satisfaction even in your estate in the event that you are far away from others.

Types of Friends:

There is variety everywhere, so why not in friends. We can see different types of friends during our journey of life. For instance, your best friend at school is someone with whom you just get along the most. That friend, especially in the case of girls, may just get annoyed even if you talk to another of your friend more than her. Such is the childish nature of such friendships that at times it is difficult for others to identify whether you are best friends or competitors.

Then there is another category of your siblings. No matter how much you deny, but your siblings or your elder brother and sisters are those friends of yours who stay on with you for your entire life. You have a different set of friendship with them as you find yourself fighting with them most of the times. However, in times of need, you shall see that they are first ones standing behind you, supporting you.

There is another category of friends called professional friends. You come across such friends only when you grow up and choose a profession for yourself. These friends are usually from the same organisation and prove to be helpful during your settling years. Some of them tend to stay on with you even when you change companies.

Friendship Examples from History:

History has always taught us a lot. Examples of true friendship are not far behind. We have some famous example from history which makes us realise the true value of friendship. The topmost of them are the Krishna and Sudama friendship. We all must have read or heard as to how after becoming a king when Krishna met Sudama, his childhood friend, he treated him with honour even though Sudama was a poor person. It teaches us the friendship need not be between equals. It has to be between likeminded people. Next example is of Karna and Duryodhana, again from the Mahabharat era.

Despite knowing the fact that the Pandavas were his brothers, Karna went on to fight alongside Duryodhan as he is his best friend and even laid down his life for him. What more example of true friendship can one find? Again from the same era, Krishna and Arjun are also referred to as the best of the friends. Bhagavad Gita is an example of how a true friend can guide you towards positivity in life and make you follow the path of Dharma. Similarly, there are numerous examples from history which teach us the values of true friendship and the need to nourish such for own good.

Whether you accept or deny it, a friend plays an important role in your life. In fact, it is very important to have a friend. However, at the same time, it is extremely important to choose the friends wisely as they are the ones who can build you or destroy you. Nonetheless, a friend’s company is something which one enjoys all through life and friends should be treated as the best treasure a man can have.

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Defining of True Friendship Essay

Introduction.

Human beings are social animals that depend on each other to live. Whatever thing man needs can only be gotten from another human being. That is the reason why we are constantly reminded that no man is an island. This means that man needs his fellow human beings in order to live a comfortable life. Although this is the case, there is the need for people to have a group of close associates whom they can identify with.

In most cases, this small group of friends is responsible for shaping our lives and destiny. The association that exists between friends is the most magnificent connection that one can ever have. Ideally, an ally is somebody who proffers adoration and respect and can not in any way be disloyal to us.

One thing that defines true friends from casual acquaintances is that while true friends are always there, acquaintances are only temporal. True friends are people who have seen you during your weakest moments but they still stick by you. In addition, these people have seen you make many silly mistakes but they nonetheless accept you unconditionally. In my life, I have had the privilege of having such kind of friends.

These two girls, Shannon and Stacie have been my close friends since my elementary days and this has continued to date. These two girls have seen me cranky and slumber tousled, without any make up, in scruffy clothes- all the things that I have to wear when I need to face the world and yet they have managed to stay in my life and like me as I am. To me, these two are examples of a perfect friendship.

Another quality of a good friendship can be exemplified in a boyfriend and a girlfriend desire to be together. The two love each other so much, such that they want to spend each waking moment of their life together. True friends also possess this kind of desire among themselves.

Just as in the case between a girlfriend and a boyfriend, true friends avoid situations that might bring up conflicts between them. They also desist from jesting each other, but instead treat each other with deference. This is the same devotion that my friends and I have toward each other. One thing that I have realized is that together we make a strong force that can withstand any kind of pressure.

Another thing that best defines friends is the sacrifices that they are willing to make for each other. Good friends have been known to compromise their safety for the sake of a friend. An example of this true friendship can be found in the bible, regarding the story of Jonathan and David.

Jonathan risked losing his life by revealing the plan that the king had plotted against David. By warning him, Jonathan was not only risking the wrath of his father but was also risking losing being the heir to the throne in favor of David. However, all these things came second to his friendship with David. This clearly defines the sense and duty of a true friend.

Friendship can mean different things to different people. However, of importance is to realize that there are different types of friends. There are the true friends who are always there for you and then there are convenient friends who are only present when they need your help.

The true friends are those who stand by you in both the good and the bad times. This group of friends accepts your mistakes and accepts you regardless of your condition. These people see the bright side of your life and encourage you to become more than what you are. In short, they are people who are willing to help you realize your potential in life.

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Ralph Waldo Emerson

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The primary topic of Emerson ’s essay is, as the title suggests, the nature of friendship. Emerson takes pains to differentiate true friendship from more superficial kinds of human relationships. In “Friendship,” Emerson emphasizes that meaningful friendship can neither be forced nor shallow. Instead, true friendship emerges by chance, when two compatible individuals form a relationship in which they can be entirely honest and authentic with each other, and through which they can bring meaning and dignity into one another’s lives.

Emerson insists that friends are encountered, not made. Who can and cannot become friends has nothing to do with the will or desire to form a connection, but with qualities inherent in both individuals. Emerson writes that “My friends have come to me unsought.” “The great God” gives them; Emerson does not intentionally make friends. Hence it is the “Deity” in Emerson and in his friend that “cancels the thick walls of individual character relation, age, sex, circumstance” and unites them. Friends are “self-elected,” rather than chosen, in that, regardless of how much one wants to befriend them, the potential friend must carry within him or her the “Deity.” A friend therefore cannot be intentionally made. Indeed, most efforts to form friendships are failures. Most normal friendships “hurry to short and poor conclusions, because we have made them a texture of wine and dreams, instead of the tough fiber of the human heart.” That is to say, people often choose friends for superficial reasons—like pleasure or fame—and not because of a real connection.  Normally people “snatch at the slowest fruit in the whole garden of God,” and instead of matching with an equal, “Almost all people descend to meet” in such a way that the “flower and aroma of the flower of each of the beautiful natures disappears as they approach each other.” Instead of actively seeking to make friends, therefore, Emerson merely remains open to the chance that he might encounter a true friend as he moves through the world. The result is that every encounter is potentially life-changing, because friendship is determined by divine forces beyond human knowledge and control.

Emerson notes that people change when they enter “actual society,” altering their thought and action to suit those around them.  But a precondition for friendship is that each individual be fully independent. Friendship is, in a way, a kind of solitary coexistence. Emerson writes that “There must be very two, before there can be very one.” That is, friendship only occurs between two entirely independent individuals who respect and even fear one another, but nonetheless recognize the “deep identity”—the shared presence of the Deity—that unites them. One is “real and equal” with such a true friend, rather than dishonest or hypocritical, as people can easily become when they are in the company of people to whom they lack a meaningful connection. With a true friend, Emerson writes, “I may think aloud.” A true friend is someone with whom one can be entirely sincere, unfiltered, and natural—just as one would be in solitude. In addition to being sincere, a true friend is someone with whom one shares “tenderness,” a kind of basic human connection that is simple and solid.

True friendship is not solely defined by being able to share the intimate details of one’s day-to-day life with another person—friends instead dignify one another’s lives by forming a community based on a more profound human connection. The path to friendship is not through visiting a friend’s house or getting to know his or her family. Emerson asks, rhetorically, “Are you the friend of your friend’s buttons, or of his thought?” Instead, friendships emerges in conversation and through letters, which reveals a friend’s soul, rather than the superficial trappings of his or her life. That said, friendship does not consist of fancy or fine things, either, such as banquet dinners or dancing or other forms of merriment. It may occur in a very “strict and homely” form, and in people from unexpected classes of society. Instead of being something that one practices now and then, true friendship lasts and affects “all the relations and passages of life and death.” Friends, whether they are present in person or only in one’s mind, “dignify to each other the daily needs and offices of man’s life,” and through the pleasure of true human connection, “add rhyme and reason to what was drudgery” through conversation and sympathy. Rather than merely serving as a shallow companion or a listening ear, a true friend actively improves and enriches an individual’s life.

True friendship, according to Emerson, fundamentally changes a person’s life in some ways, but does not change it at all in others. If friendship occurs between two “formidable natures,” who both harbor the “Deity” and respect one another, friendship can remake the world of each person, enhancing the mundane and solitary experience of life, and dignifying “drudgery” through conversation, reflection, and a sense of deep, but not overly intimate, community. At the same time, however, friendship requires that each person be independent, and behave with the other as he or she would act, think, and feel) in solitude. The paradoxical result is that true friendship emerges when two people are essentially alone together, living independently alongside one another.

True Friendship ThemeTracker

True Friendship Quotes in Friendship

A ruddy drop of manly blood The surging sea outweighs, The world uncertain comes and goes, The lover rooted stays. I fancied he was fled, And, after many a year, Glowed unexhausted kingliness Like daily sunrise there. My careful heart was free again,— O friend, my bosom said, Through thee alone the sky is arched, Through thee the rose is red, All things through thee take nobler form, And look beyond the earth, And is the mill-round of our fate A sun-path in thy worth. Me too thy nobleness has taught To master my despair; The fountains of my hidden life Are through thy friendship fair.

My friends have come to me unsought. The great God gave them to me. By oldest right, the divine affinity of virtue with itself, I find them, or rather not I, but the Deity in me and in them divides and cancels the thick walls of individual character, relation, age, sex, circumstance, at which he usually connives, and now makes many, one.

I cannot deny it, O friend, that the vast shadow of the Phenomenal includes thee also in its pied and painted immensity,—thee, also, compared with whom all else is shadow. Thou art not Being, as Truth is, as Justice is,—thou art not my soul, but a picture and effigy of that.

Our friendships hurry to short and poor conclusions, because we have made them a texture of wine and dreams, instead of the tough fiber of the human heart. The laws of friendship are austere and eternal, of one web with the laws of nature and of morals. But we have aimed at a swift and petty benefit, to suck a sudden sweetness. We snatch at the slowest fruit in the whole garden of God, which many summers and many winters must ripen....Almost all people descend to meet. All association must be a compromise, and, what is worse, the very flower and aroma of the flower of each of the beautiful natures disappears as they approach each other. What a perpetual disappointment is actual society, even of the virtuous and the gifted!

A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud. I am arrived at last in the presence of a man so real and equal, that I may drop even those undermost garments of dissimulation, courtesy, and second thought, which men never put off, and may deal with him with the simplicity and wholeness with which one chemical atom meets another. Sincerity is the luxury allowed, like diadems and authority, only to the highest rank, that being permitted to speak truth, as having none about it to court or conform unto. Every man alone is sincere. At the entrance of a second person, hypocrisy begins.

Friendship requires that rare mean betwixt likeness and unlikeness, that piques each with the presence of power and of consent in the other party. Let me be alone to the end of the world, rather than that my friend should overstep, by a word or a look, his real sympathy. I am equally balked by antagonism and by compliance. Let him not cease an instant to be himself. The only joy I have in his being mine, is that the not mine is mine . I hate, where I looked for a manly furtherance, or at least a manly resistance, to find a mush of concession. Better be a nettle in the side of your friend than his echo. The condition which high friendship demands is ability to do without it. That high office requires great and sublime parts. There must be very two, before there can be very one. Let it be an alliance of two large, formidable natures, mutually beheld, mutually feared, before yet they recognize the deep identity which beneath these disparities unites them.

Treat your friend as a spectacle. Of course he has merits that are not yours, and that you cannot honor, if you must needs hold him close to your person. Stand aside; give those merits room; let them mount and expand. Are you the friend of your friend’s buttons, or of his thought? To a great heart he will still be a stranger in a thousand particulars, that he may come near in the holiest ground. Leave it to girls and boys to regard a friend as property, and to suck a short and all-confounding pleasure, instead of the noblest benefit.

Let him be to thee forever a sort of beautiful enemy, untamable, devoutly revered, and not a trivial conveniency to be soon outgrown and cast aside. The hues of the opal, the light of the diamond, are not to be seen, if the eye is too near. To my friend I write a letter, and from him I receive a letter. That seems to you a little. It suffices me. It is a spiritual gift worthy of him to give, and of me to receive. It profanes nobody. In these warm lines the heart will trust itself, as it will not to the tongue, and pour out the prophecy of a godlier existence than all the annals of heroism have yet made good.

The higher the style we demand of friendship, of course the less easy to establish it with flesh and blood. We walk alone in the world. Friends, such as we desire, are dreams and gables. But a sublime hope cheers ever the faithful heart, that elsewhere, in other regions of the universal power, souls are now acting, enduring, and daring, which can love us, and which we can love.

The essence of friendship is entireness, a total magnanimity and trust. It must not surmise or provide for infirmity. It treats its object as a god, that it may deify both.

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Essay on Friendship: Samples in 100, 200, 300 Words

• Updated on  
• Sep 14, 2023

Friendship is a lovely connection that thrives on pure love and care, free from demands. It’s recognized through respect, support, open communication, shared joys, empathy, and unwavering presence. True friends cherish and express this bond in countless meaningful ways. Mentioned below are the essay on friendship that you can write in your school assignments to express gratitude towards them.

Table of Contents

• 1 Friendship Sample Essay in 100 Words
• 2 Friendship Sample Essay in 200 words
• 3 Friendship Sample Essay in 300 Words

Friendship Sample Essay in 100 Words

Everybody needs friends in their life because friends with friendship fill that gap of proper understanding that at some point even our family fails to meet. Whenever challenges come up in life, this friendship becomes a path to overcome those challenges and boosts us toward progress. In the dark and bleak world of reality, friendship fills vibrant and vivid colours of life, enthusiasm, and motivation. Every occasion becomes extra happy when celebrated with that special circle of friends. Every moment spent and lived with your friends, be it sad or happy, dull or motivating, shapes us into who we are. It also helps us see the good in life. 

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Friendship Sample Essay in 200 words

Friendship is something exceptional. Whenever life gets rough, one thing that we can always rely on is our friendship. We know that we have our friends to support us through the tough times in life. Not only that, friendship is such a deep-rooted emotion that even when we don’t share what we are feeling at the same moment, just by looking at our faces, our friends can figure out that something is bothering us. And they, just by having a thoughtful talk with us, have the strength to make all the bothering go away in a snap. Such is the power of friendship. It’s more than meets the eye. However, there are times when we have those life tests that make us reach our limits and test us through thick and thin. 

Everything in life isn’t always smooth and happy, there are phases when even friends get into a fight with each other, but when they come out of that situation with their friendship still intact, then that bonding reaches new heights of strength.

If you have deep friendships with people, always be grateful to god for that, because not every bond of friendship lasts forever. Those people who have friends who last a lifetime are truly blessed because friendship truly is beautiful.

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Friendship Sample Essay in 300 Words

In this vast world, there are innumerable people we meet every day, yet we still meet people who are there with us for a lifetime. The term for those people is “Friends” and the emotion that sustains them is “friendship”. The word friendship may have a particular number of alphabets, but the meaning it conveys cannot be measured in numbers. The word “friendship” is more than meets the eye. The depth it holds in terms of emotions, bonding, trust, understanding, support, communication, and much more is unparalleled. At every phase of our lives, we come across people and don’t even realize the bonds that get forged with time. These bonds are filled with the spirit and essence of trust, honesty, support, etc. hence becoming the pillars of friendship. 

In every person’s life, friendship plays different roles but one thing that every person can agree on without a doubt is that friendship sustains you. Now, there are basically 2 types of friends, first ones are those who are good friends while the other ones are best friends. The best friends are the ones that we share a special bond of affection and love with. They make our lives much richer and easier

In true friendship, there is no place for judgment. True friends can share anything they are feeling without the fear of being judged by the other. To put it simply, we can say that true friendship gives us a reason to become even stronger in life.

Friendship makes us stronger in all aspects. No matter how much we fight our friends, we always come back to them. This is what teaches us the virtue of understanding and being patient. Without an iota of doubt, we can conclude that there is nothing out there that is nearly as beautiful, and as strong as friendship. Lucky are those who have this blessing in their life. Forever cherish it. 

True friendship is one where there is mutual respect, good communication, honesty, and trust. When you know that no matter what, you can rely on your friend and that friend has got your back in every situation. 

The full form of “FRIEND” is” Few Relations In Earth Never Die”.

The word “friendship” is more than meets the eye. The depth it holds in terms of emotions, bonding, trust, understanding, support, communication, and much more is unparalleled. At every phase of our lives, we come across people and don’t even realize the bonds that get forged with time. The power of friendship is such that it can turn a dull day in any person’s life into a really happy one. Every moment spent and lived with your friends, be it sad or happy, dull or motivating, shapes us into who we are. If you have deep friendships with people, always be grateful to god for that, because not every bond of friendship lasts forever. Those people who have friends who last a lifetime are truly blessed because friendship truly is beautiful. 

Hence, we hope that this blog has assisted you in comprehending what an essay on friendship must include. If you are struggling with your career choices and need expert guidance, our Leverage Edu mentors are here to guide you at any point of your academic and professional journey thus ensuring that you take informed steps towards your dream career.

Deepansh Gautam

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The Importance of Friendship

Friendships are a crucial part of living a fulfilling life..

Posted July 26, 2021 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

• Friendship makes life more enjoyable and enriches one's everyday experiences.
• Finding friends can be challenging but can be often achieved by approaching others with mutual interests.
• The first criteria one should look for in a partner is someone who is ultimately a good friend to them.

As we move through life, we find that there are many things out of our control. We can’t choose our parents, our genetics , or control the things that happen in the world around us. One thing that we can control is who our friends are, and this decision can either make our lives so much richer and beautiful, or more stressful and disappointing. Today we’ll focus on how to choose friends who enrich our lives and make them more beautiful.

Why friends are so important

Having solid friendships is important for two main reasons. First, they make life more enjoyable. We get to share the beautiful aspects of life with people who we love, which can enrich our everyday experiences. Second, our friends help us through the difficult times. Having friends to support us through hard times can make unimaginably difficult situations seem more tolerable.

The most beautiful part about pouring our time and energy into friendships is that not only do friends help enrich our lives, but we enrich theirs too! Friendships get us through the tough times in life, make things more fun and enjoyable, and all-around make our lives better. I urge you to take stock of your friendships and ask yourself if your current friends people build you up and support you, or is the friendship more one-sided?

As we explore friendships today, these are also inclusive of our partners. I believe that the foundation for any healthy relationship is friendship. So it’s important to group our romantic partners into this conversation too.

So, where do we find friends? This might sound silly, but finding friends can be challenging! When I first moved to California for my Ph.D., I didn’t have any friends out here. There were quite a few people in my program that I enjoyed spending time with. But, towards the end of school, they became very busy and were no longer able to dedicate time to hang out anymore. Thankfully, through the help of a very good therapist, I learned that it was important to enjoy life instead of striving for excellence all of the time. As a result, I learned how important it was to carve out time in my life for friends.

Unfortunately, the people I had dedicated time to thus far were achievement-oriented and were pouring their time into work and not our friendships. This forced me to seek out other ways to form connections with people. I ended up finding a local hiking group with the hopes of meeting people with similar interests. During one of these hikes, I met Jim, one of my best friends to this day.

We became instant friends. We have continued to support each other over the years, and even more importantly, we always make time for one another. We both view the friendship as one that makes each other’s lives better, therefore it’s always worth the time and energy. The backbone of any successful friendship is one where both sides put in equal effort and support.

Both Jim and I were forced to put in more effort when he moved across the country to the East Coast. Because we already had such a strong foundation, this didn’t impact our friendship. We talk all of the time and see each other several times a year. We make the relationship a priority no matter what coast each other is on. Like anything in life that is valuable to us, we must work at it and put time and effort into it.

When it's time to move on from a friendship

The second part of the friendship discussion can be a difficult one — reassessing your current friendships and potentially moving on from friends who don’t add value to your life.

Two of my best friends from high school went down different paths from me. We still keep in contact, but I don’t spend too much time with them anymore. The supporting, loving part of our relationship wasn’t there anymore, so it was no longer worth putting energy into maintaining a friendship that had changed so much.

This may be a story you can relate to. What I hope you take away from this post is this — friendships take energy, time, and commitment. And if you’re putting your time and energy into someone who isn’t enriching your life and giving you the support you need, it may be time to reevaluate that friendship.

If you find yourself in the market for friends (who isn’t?) I recommend you find groups or activities that you genuinely enjoy. This way you’ll have the opportunity to connect with people who have similar interests. And once you’re there, take a risk! Talk to people, exchange contact information, and follow up with them. It may feel scary at first, but the reward outweighs the momentary uncomfortable feeling you may have.

Friendship and dating

In many ways, the most important friendship in our lives is the one we have with our romantic partners. The first criteria we should look for in this partner is someone who is ultimately a good friend to us, meaning that they are kind, positive, loving, and supportive. If we’re dating someone and they’re a jerk, it’s probably safe to assume that they’re not a good friend. To avoid this, I recommend seeking out someone who is a good friend first, i.e. before the romance and sexual stuff gets in the way.

When there are bumps in a friendship or a romantic relationship , it’s important to work through those tough times. The tricky part is that it will take two people to fix that issue. We can only control our actions and hold ourselves accountable, but we cannot control our friend or our partner's reaction. In addition to our own actions, we have control over the friends or partners that we choose in the first place. If we prioritize choosing good people who we can trust will work through issues with us, then we can work through anything.

Friendships are a crucial part of living a fulfilling life. It’s so important that we surround ourselves with people who we have fun with, who support us, and people who make us better. You may already have beautiful friendships in your life, but if you’re still in the market for friends, it’s never too late to cultivate new relationships that will make your life even more magnificent.

Robert Puff, Ph.D. , is host and producer of the Happiness Podcast, with over 16 million downloads.

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Essay on Friendship

Here we have shared the Essay on Friendship in detail so you can use it in your exam or assignment of 150, 250, 400, 500, or 1000 words.

You can use this Essay on Friendship in any assignment or project whether you are in school (class 10th or 12th), college, or preparing for answer writing in competitive exams. 

Topics covered in this article.

Essay on Friendship in 150 words

Essay on friendship in 250-300 words, essay on friendship in 500-1000 words.

Friendship is a cherished bond that brings joy, support, and companionship into our lives. It is based on trust, understanding, and shared experiences. True friends offer comfort and a sense of belonging.

Friends play a significant role in our lives. They celebrate our successes, provide support during tough times, and make our journey more enjoyable. Through friendships, we learn, grow, and gain new perspectives. Friends inspire us and motivate us to become better versions of ourselves.

Maintaining friendships requires effort and commitment. It involves mutual respect, trust, and open communication. Quality time spent together strengthens the bond.

In a fast-paced world, friendships are invaluable. They offer love, acceptance, and understanding. True friends stand by us, providing support and making life more meaningful.

In conclusion, friendship is a precious gift that enriches our lives. It brings happiness, support, and a sense of belonging. Nurturing and cherishing friendships is essential for our well-being and happiness.

Friendship is a beautiful bond that brings joy, support, and companionship into our lives. It is a connection built on trust, mutual understanding, and shared experiences. True friendship goes beyond superficial interactions and offers a deep sense of comfort and belonging.

Friends play a significant role in our lives. They are there to celebrate our successes, lend a listening ear during challenging times, and provide a support system that helps us navigate the ups and downs of life. Friends bring laughter, happiness, and emotional support, making our journey more enjoyable and meaningful.

Friendship also allows us to learn and grow. Through our interactions with friends, we gain new perspectives, broaden our horizons, and develop important life skills such as empathy, communication, and compromise. Friends inspire us to be better versions of ourselves and provide a sense of motivation and encouragement.

Maintaining and nurturing friendships require effort and commitment. It involves mutual respect, trust, and open communication. Spending quality time together, sharing experiences, and being there for each other strengthens the bond of friendship.

In a fast-paced and often lonely world, friendships are invaluable. They provide a sense of belonging, happiness, and a support network that enriches our lives. True friends stand by us through thick and thin, offering love, acceptance, and understanding. They are the pillars of support who make life’s journey more meaningful and enjoyable.

In conclusion, friendship is a precious gift that adds immense value to our lives. It is a connection built on trust, understanding, and shared experiences. Friends offer support, laughter, and companionship, making our lives more fulfilling. Nurturing and cherishing friendships is essential for our well-being and happiness.

Title: Friendship – The Essence of True Connection

Introduction:

Friendship is a unique and valuable bond that enriches our lives with joy, support, and companionship. It is a connection that goes beyond mere acquaintanceship, rooted in trust, understanding, and shared experiences. This essay explores the significance of friendship, its qualities, the benefits it brings, and the ways to nurture and cherish these precious relationships.

The Meaning of Friendship

Friendship is a deep and meaningful relationship between individuals characterized by mutual affection, trust, and empathy. It is a bond that offers companionship, understanding, and support in both good times and bad. True friendship is built on honesty, respect, and genuine care for one another.

Qualities of True Friendship

True friendships possess several key qualities. Trust is paramount, as friends confide in each other without fear of judgment or betrayal. Mutual understanding allows friends to empathize and provide emotional support. Respect is essential, as friends accept and appreciate each other’s individuality. Loyalty ensures that friends stand by one another through thick and thin. Communication is vital for maintaining open and honest dialogue, fostering a strong and lasting connection.

Benefits of Friendship

Friendship brings numerous benefits to our lives. Emotional support from friends helps us cope with challenges, reduces stress, and boosts our mental well-being. Friends offer a safe space for sharing thoughts, feelings, and experiences, providing a sense of comfort and validation. They provide a support network during difficult times, lending a listening ear and offering guidance. Friends also bring joy, laughter, and fun into our lives, creating cherished memories and experiences.

Nurturing and Cherishing Friendships

To foster and maintain strong friendships, it is essential to invest time and effort. Regular communication and quality time spent together strengthen the bond. Active listening and empathy are crucial, allowing friends to truly understand and support one another. Celebrating each other’s successes and offering support during challenges cultivates a sense of solidarity. Honesty and transparency build trust, ensuring a foundation of authenticity in the relationship. Respecting boundaries and accepting differences helps sustain harmony within friendships.

The Role of Friendship in Personal Growth

Friendship plays a significant role in personal growth and development. Friends offer different perspectives, expanding our horizons and challenging our beliefs. They provide constructive feedback, helping us improve and grow as individuals. Through shared experiences, we learn valuable life lessons and acquire new skills. Friends inspire us to pursue our passions, push our boundaries, and achieve our goals. Their support and encouragement fuel our motivation and self-confidence.

Types of Friendship

Friendships come in various forms, ranging from childhood friends to work colleagues, from online companions to lifelong confidants. Each type of friendship brings unique dynamics and contributes to our personal growth and well-being.

Conclusion :

Friendship is a precious and invaluable connection that enhances our lives in countless ways. It offers companionship, support, and a sense of belonging. True friends stand by us through thick and thin, celebrating our successes and providing comfort during difficult times. Nurturing and cherishing friendships require effort, empathy, and open communication. By investing in these relationships, we create a support system that enriches our lives and helps us grow as individuals. Friendship is a gift that brings joy, love, and understanding, making life’s journey more meaningful and fulfilling.

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Home — Essay Samples — Sociology — Friendship — What Is the Real Definition of a True Friendship

What is The Real Definition of a True Friendship

• Categories: Friendship Relationship

About this sample

Words: 517 |

Published: Mar 1, 2019

Words: 517 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Table of contents

Friendship essay outline, friendship essay example, introduction.

• Definition of friendship as a precious gift
• Importance of friendship in life

True Friendship

• Definition of true friendship
• Characteristics of true friendship
• Inclusivity of true friendship

Selecting Friends Carefully

• Caution against superficial friendships
• The consequences of choosing the wrong friends
• The influence of friends on the younger generation

The Role of Friends in Our Lives

• Friends as sources of support
• The significance of friends in our best and worst days
• Friends as companions and confidants

The Dynamics of Old and New Friends

• The importance of old friends
• The value of making new friends
• The evolving nature of friendships
• The balance between old and new friendships
• Recap of the significance of both old and new friends
• The enduring impact of friends on our lives

Works Cited:

• Adams, R. G., & Blieszner, R. (1994). Older adults' interpersonal relationships: Potential benefits of friendship and social support. In M. P. Lawton (Ed.), Annual review of gerontology and geriatrics: Focus on kinship, aging, and social change (Vol. 14, pp. 267-290). Springer Publishing Company.
• Bukowski, W. M., Hoza, B., & Boivin, M. (Eds.). (2018). The handbook of peer interactions, relationships, and groups (2nd ed.). The Guilford Press.
• Hartup, W. W. (1996). The company they keep: Friendships and their developmental significance. Child development, 67(1), 1-13.
• Ladd, G. W. (1990). Having friends, keeping friends, making friends, and being liked by peers in the classroom: Predictors of children's early school adjustment?. Child development, 61(4), 1081-1100.
• Parker, J. G., & Asher, S. R. (1993). Friendship and friendship quality in middle childhood: Links with peer group acceptance and feelings of loneliness and social dissatisfaction. Developmental psychology, 29(4), 611-621.
• Rawlins, W. K. (1992). Friendship matters: Communication, dialectics, and the life course. Aldine de Gruyter.
• Rubin, K. H., Bukowski, W., & Parker, J. G. (2006). Peer interactions, relationships, and groups. In N. Eisenberg, W. Damon, & R. M. Lerner (Eds.), Handbook of child psychology: Vol. 3. Social, emotional, and personality development (6th ed., pp. 571-645). John Wiley & Sons.
• Sias, P. M., & Cahill, D. J. (1998). From coworkers to friends: The development of peer friendships in the workplace. Western Journal of Communication, 62(3), 273-299.
• Simpson, J. A., Collins, W. A., Tran, S., & Haydon, K. C. (2007). Attachment and the experience and expression of emotions in romantic relationships: A developmental perspective. Journal of personality and social psychology, 92(2), 355-367.
• Way, N., Reddy, R., & Rhodes, J. (2007). Students' perceptions of school climate during the middle school years: Associations with trajectories of psychological and behavioral adjustment. American Journal of Community Psychology, 40(3-4), 194-213.

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Emerson writes a poem about old friendships and about friendships lost.

A ruddy drop of manly blood The surging sea outweighs, The world uncertain comes and goes, The lover rooted stays. I fancied he was fled, And, after many a year, Glowed unexhausted kindliness Like daily sunrise there. My careful heart was free again, — O friend, my bosom said, Through thee alone the sky is arched, Through thee the rose is red, All things through thee take nobler form, And look beyond the earth, And is the mill-round of our fate A sun-path in thy worth. Me too thy nobleness has taught To master my despair; The fountains of my hidden life Are through thy friendship fair.

W e have a great deal more kindness than is ever spoken.  Maugre all the selfishness that chills like east winds the world, the whole human family is bathed with an element of love like a fine ether. How many persons we meet in houses, whom we scarcely speak to, whom yet we honor, and who honor us! How many we see in the street, or sit with in church, whom, though silently, we warmly rejoice to be with! Read the language of these wandering eye-beams. The heart knoweth.

The effect of the indulgence of this human affection is a certain cordial exhilaration. In poetry, and in common speech, the emotions of benevolence and complacency which are felt towards others are likened to the material effects of fire; so swift, or much more swift, more active, more cheering, are these fine inward irradiations. From the highest degree of passionate love, to the lowest degree of good-will, they make the sweetness of life.

Our intellectual and active powers increase with our affection. The scholar sits down to write, and all his years of meditation do not furnish him with one good thought or happy expression; but it is necessary to write a letter to a friend, — and, forthwith, troops of gentle thoughts invest themselves, on every hand, with chosen words. See, in any house where virtue and self-respect abide, the palpitation which the approach of a stranger causes. A commended stranger is expected and announced, and an uneasiness betwixt pleasure and pain invades all the hearts of a household. His arrival almost brings fear to the good hearts that would welcome him. The house is dusted, all things fly into their places, the old coat is exchanged for the new, and they must get up a dinner if they can. Of a commended stranger, only the good report is told by others, only the good and new is heard by us. He stands to us for humanity. He is what we wish. Having imagined and invested him, we ask how we should stand related in conversation and action with such a man, and are uneasy with fear. The same idea exalts conversation with him. We talk better than we are wont. We have the nimblest fancy, a richer memory, and our dumb devil has taken leave for the time. For long hours we can continue a series of sincere, graceful, rich communications, drawn from the oldest, secretest experience, so that they who sit by, of our own kinsfolk and acquaintance, shall feel a lively surprise at our unusual powers. But as soon as the stranger begins to intrude his partialities, his definitions, his defects, into the conversation, it is all over. He has heard the first, the last and best he will ever hear from us. He is no stranger now. Vulgarity, ignorance, misapprehension are old acquaintances. Now, when he comes, he may get the order, the dress, and the dinner, — but the throbbing of the heart, and the communications of the soul, no more.

What is so pleasant as these jets of affection which make a young world for me again? What so delicious as a just and firm encounter of two, in a thought, in a feeling? How beautiful, on their approach to this beating heart, the steps and forms of the gifted and the true! The moment we indulge our affections, the earth is metamorphosed; there is no winter, and no night; all tragedies, all ennuis, vanish, — all duties even; nothing fills the proceeding eternity but the forms all radiant of beloved persons. Let the soul be assured that somewhere in the universe it should rejoin its friend, and it would be content and cheerful alone for a thousand years.

I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new. Shall I not call God the Beautiful, who daily showeth himself so to me in his gifts? I chide society, I embrace solitude, and yet I am not so ungrateful as not to see the wise, the lovely, and the noble-minded, as from time to time they pass my gate. Who hears me, who understands me, becomes mine, — a possession for all time. Nor is nature so poor but she gives me this joy several times, and thus we weave social threads of our own, a new web of relations; and, as many thoughts in succession substantiate themselves, we shall by and by stand in a new world of our own creation, and no longer strangers and pilgrims in a traditionary globe. My friends have come to me unsought. The great God gave them to me. By oldest right, by the divine affinity of virtue with itself, I find them, or rather not I, but the Deity in me and in them derides and cancels the thick walls of individual character, relation, age, sex, circumstance, at which he usually connives, and now makes many one. High thanks I owe you, excellent lovers, who carry out the world for me to new and noble depths, and enlarge the meaning of all my thoughts. These are new poetry of the first Bard, — poetry without stop, — hymn, ode, and epic, poetry still flowing, Apollo and the Muses chanting still. Will these, too, separate themselves from me again, or some of them? I know not, but I fear it not; for my relation to them is so pure, that we hold by simple affinity, and the Genius of my life being thus social, the same affinity will exert its energy on whomsoever is as noble as these men and women, wherever I may be.

I confess to an extreme tenderness of nature on this point. It is almost dangerous to me to "crush the sweet poison of misused wine" of the affections. A new person is to me a great event, and hinders me from sleep. I have often had fine fancies about persons which have given me delicious hours; but the joy ends in the day; it yields no fruit. Thought is not born of it; my action is very little modified. I must feel pride in my friend's accomplishments as if they were mine, — and a property in his virtues. I feel as warmly when he is praised, as the lover when he hears applause of his engaged maiden. We over-estimate the conscience of our friend. His goodness seems better than our goodness, his nature finer, his temptations less. Every thing that is his, — his name, his form, his dress, books, and instruments, — fancy enhances. Our own thought sounds new and larger from his mouth.

Yet the systole and diastole of the heart are not without their analogy in the ebb and flow of love. Friendship, like the immortality of the soul, is too good to be believed. The lover, beholding his maiden, half knows that she is not verily that which he worships; and in the golden hour of friendship, we are surprised with shades of suspicion and unbelief. We doubt that we bestow on our hero the virtues in which he shines, and afterwards worship the form to which we have ascribed this divine inhabitation. In strictness, the soul does not respect men as it respects itself. In strict science all persons underlie the same condition of an infinite remoteness. Shall we fear to cool our love by mining for the metaphysical foundation of this Elysian temple? Shall I not be as real as the things I see? If I am, I shall not fear to know them for what they are. Their essence is not less beautiful than their appearance, though it needs finer organs for its apprehension. The root of the plant is not unsightly to science, though for chaplets and festoons we cut the stem short. And I must hazard the production of the bald fact amidst these pleasing reveries, though it should prove an Egyptian skull at our banquet. A man who stands united with his thought conceives magnificently of himself. He is conscious of a universal success, even though bought by uniform particular failures. No advantages, no powers, no gold or force, can be any match for him. I cannot choose but rely on my own poverty more than on your wealth. I cannot make your consciousness tantamount to mine. Only the star dazzles; the planet has a faint, moon-like ray. I hear what you say of the admirable parts and tried temper of the party you praise, but I see well that for all his purple cloaks I shall not like him, unless he is at last a poor Greek like me. I cannot deny it, O friend, that the vast shadow of the Phenomenal includes thee also in its pied and painted immensity, — thee, also, compared with whom all else is shadow. Thou art not Being, as Truth is, as Justice is, — thou art not my soul, but a picture and effigy of that. Thou hast come to me lately, and already thou art seizing thy hat and cloak. Is it not that the soul puts forth friends as the tree puts forth leaves, and presently, by the germination of new buds, extrudes the old leaf? The law of nature is alternation for evermore. Each electrical state superinduces the opposite. The soul environs itself with friends, that it may enter into a grander self-acquaintance or solitude; and it goes alone for a season, that it may exalt its conversation or society. This method betrays itself along the whole history of our personal relations. The instinct of affection revives the hope of union with our mates, and the returning sense of insulation recalls us from the chase. Thus every man passes his life in the search after friendship, and if he should record his true sentiment, he might write a letter like this to each new candidate for his love.

DEAR FRIEND: —

If I was sure of thee, sure of thy capacity, sure to match my mood with thine, I should never think again of trifles in relation to thy comings and goings. I am not very wise; my moods are quite attainable; and I respect thy genius; it is to me as yet unfathomed; yet dare I not presume in thee a perfect intelligence of me, and so thou art to me a delicious torment. Thine ever, or never.

Yet these uneasy pleasures and fine pains are for curiosity, and not for life. They are not to be indulged. This is to weave cobweb, and not cloth. Our friendships hurry to short and poor conclusions, because we have made them a texture of wine and dreams, instead of the tough fibre of the human heart. The laws of friendship are austere and eternal, of one web with the laws of nature and of morals. But we have aimed at a swift and petty benefit, to suck a sudden sweetness. We snatch at the slowest fruit in the whole garden of God, which many summers and many winters must ripen. We seek our friend not sacredly, but with an adulterate passion which would appropriate him to ourselves. In vain. We are armed all over with subtle antagonisms, which, as soon as we meet, begin to play, and translate all poetry into stale prose. Almost all people descend to meet. All association must be a compromise, and, what is worst, the very flower and aroma of the flower of each of the beautiful natures disappears as they approach each other. What a perpetual disappointment is actual society, even of the virtuous and gifted! After interviews have been compassed with long foresight, we must be tormented presently by baffled blows, by sudden, unseasonable apathies, by epilepsies of wit and of animal spirits, in the heyday of friendship and thought. Our faculties do not play us true, and both parties are relieved by solitude.

I ought to be equal to every relation. It makes no difference how many friends I have, and what content I can find in conversing with each, if there be one to whom I am not equal. If I have shrunk unequal from one contest, the joy I find in all the rest becomes mean and cowardly. I should hate myself, if then I made my other friends my asylum.

The valiant warrior famoused for fight, After a hundred victories, once foiled, Is from the book of honor razed quite, And all the rest forgot for which he toiled."

Our impatience is thus sharply rebuked. Bashfulness and apathy are a tough husk, in which a delicate organization is protected from premature ripening. It would be lost if it knew itself before any of the best souls were yet ripe enough to know and own it. Respect the naturlangsamkeit which hardens the ruby in a million years, and works in duration, in which Alps and Andes come and go as rainbows. The good spirit of our life has no heaven which is the price of rashness. Love, which is the essence of God, is not for levity, but for the total worth of man. Let us not have this childish luxury in our regards, but the austerest worth; let us approach our friend with an audacious trust in the truth of his heart, in the breadth, impossible to be overturned, of his foundations.

The attractions of this subject are not to be resisted, and I leave, for the time, all account of subordinate social benefit, to speak of that select and sacred relation which is a kind of absolute, and which even leaves the language of love suspicious and common, so much is this purer, and nothing is so much divine.

I do not wish to treat friendships daintily, but with roughest courage. When they are real, they are not glass threads or frostwork, but the solidest thing we know. For now, after so many ages of experience, what do we know of nature, or of ourselves? Not one step has man taken toward the solution of the problem of his destiny. In one condemnation of folly stand the whole universe of men. But the sweet sincerity of joy and peace, which I draw from this alliance with my brother's soul, is the nut itself, whereof all nature and all thought is but the husk and shell. Happy is the house that shelters a friend! It might well be built, like a festal bower or arch, to entertain him a single day. Happier, if he know the solemnity of that relation, and honor its law! He who offers himself a candidate for that covenant comes up, like an Olympian, to the great games, where the first-born of the world are the competitors. He proposes himself for contests where Time, Want, Danger, are in the lists, and he alone is victor who has truth enough in his constitution to preserve the delicacy of his beauty from the wear and tear of all these. The gifts of fortune may be present or absent, but all the speed in that contest depends on intrinsic nobleness, and the contempt of trifles. There are two elements that go to the composition of friendship, each so sovereign that I can detect no superiority in either, no reason why either should be first named. One is Truth. A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud. I am arrived at last in the presence of a man so real and equal, that I may drop even those undermost garments of dissimulation, courtesy, and second thought, which men never put off, and may deal with him with the simplicity and wholeness with which one chemical atom meets another. Sincerity is the luxury allowed, like diadems and authority, only to the highest rank, that being permitted to speak truth, as having none above it to court or conform unto. Every man alone is sincere. At the entrance of a second person, hypocrisy begins. We parry and fend the approach of our fellow-man by compliments, by gossip, by amusements, by affairs. We cover up our thought from him under a hundred folds. I knew a man, who, under a certain religious frenzy, cast off this drapery, and, omitting all compliment and commonplace, spoke to the conscience of every person he encountered, and that with great insight and beauty. At first he was resisted, and all men agreed he was mad. But persisting, as indeed he could not help doing, for some time in this course, he attained to the advantage of bringing every man of his acquaintance into true relations with him. No man would think of speaking falsely with him, or of putting him off with any chat of markets or reading-rooms. But every man was constrained by so much sincerity to the like plaindealing, and what love of nature, what poetry, what symbol of truth he had, he did certainly show him. But to most of us society shows not its face and eye, but its side and its back. To stand in true relations with men in a false age is worth a fit of insanity, is it not? We can seldom go erect. Almost every man we meet requires some civility, — requires to be humored; he has some fame, some talent, some whim of religion or philanthropy in his head that is not to be questioned, and which spoils all conversation with him. But a friend is a sane man who exercises not my ingenuity, but me. My friend gives me entertainment without requiring any stipulation on my part. A friend, therefore, is a sort of paradox in nature. I who alone am, I who see nothing in nature whose existence I can affirm with equal evidence to my own, behold now the semblance of my being, in all its height, variety, and curiosity, reiterated in a foreign form; so that a friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.

The other element of friendship is tenderness. We are holden to men by every sort of tie, by blood, by pride, by fear, by hope, by lucre, by lust, by hate, by admiration, by every circumstance and badge and trifle, but we can scarce believe that so much character can subsist in another as to draw us by love. Can another be so blessed, and we so pure, that we can offer him tenderness? When a man becomes dear to me, I have touched the goal of fortune. I find very little written directly to the heart of this matter in books. And yet I have one text which I cannot choose but remember. My author says, — "I offer myself faintly and bluntly to those whose I effectually am, and tender myself least to him to whom I am the most devoted." I wish that friendship should have feet, as well as eyes and eloquence. It must plant itself on the ground, before it vaults over the moon. I wish it to be a little of a citizen, before it is quite a cherub. We chide the citizen because he makes love a commodity. It is an exchange of gifts, of useful loans; it is good neighbourhood; it watches with the sick; it holds the pall at the funeral; and quite loses sight of the delicacies and nobility of the relation. But though we cannot find the god under this disguise of a sutler, yet, on the other hand, we cannot forgive the poet if he spins his thread too fine , and does not substantiate his romance by the municipal virtues of justice, punctuality, fidelity, and pity. I hate the prostitution of the name of friendship to signify modish and worldly alliances. I much prefer the company of ploughboys and tin-peddlers, to the silken and perfumed amity which celebrates its days of encounter by a frivolous display, by rides in a curricle, and dinners at the best taverns. The end of friendship is a commerce the most strict and homely that can be joined; more strict than any of which we have experience. It is for aid and comfort through all the relations and passages of life and death. It is fit for serene days, and graceful gifts, and country rambles, but also for rough roads and hard fare, shipwreck, poverty, and persecution. It keeps company with the sallies of the wit and the trances of religion. We are to dignify to each other the daily needs and offices of man's life, and embellish it by courage, wisdom, and unity. It should never fall into something usual and settled, but should be alert and inventive, and add rhyme and reason to what was drudgery.

Friendship may be said to require natures so rare and costly, each so well tempered and so happily adapted, and withal so circumstanced, (for even in that particular, a poet says, love demands that the parties be altogether paired,) that its satisfaction can very seldom be assured. It cannot subsist in its perfection, say some of those who are learned in this warm lore of the heart, betwixt more than two. I am not quite so strict in my terms, perhaps because I have never known so high a fellowship as others. I please my imagination more with a circle of godlike men and women variously related to each other, and between whom subsists a lofty intelligence. But I find this law of one to one peremptory for conversation, which is the practice and consummation of friendship. Do not mix waters too much. The best mix as ill as good and bad. You shall have very useful and cheering discourse at several times with two several men, but let all three of you come together, and you shall not have one new and hearty word. Two may talk and one may hear, but three cannot take part in a conversation of the most sincere and searching sort. In good company there is never such discourse between two, across the table, as takes place when you leave them alone. In good company, the individuals merge their egotism into a social soul exactly co-extensive with the several consciousnesses there present. No partialities of friend to friend, no fondnesses of brother to sister, of wife to husband, are there pertinent, but quite otherwise. Only he may then speak who can sail on the common thought of the party, and not poorly limited to his own. Now this convention, which good sense demands, destroys the high freedom of great conversation, which requires an absolute running of two souls into one.

No two men but, being left alone with each other, enter into simpler relations. Yet it is affinity that determines which two shall converse. Unrelated men give little joy to each other; will never suspect the latent powers of each. We talk sometimes of a great talent for conversation, as if it were a permanent property in some individuals. Conversation is an evanescent relation, — no more. A man is reputed to have thought and eloquence; he cannot, for all that, say a word to his cousin or his uncle. They accuse his silence with as much reason as they would blame the insignificance of a dial in the shade. In the sun it will mark the hour. Among those who enjoy his thought, he will regain his tongue.

Friendship requires that rare mean betwixt likeness and unlikeness, that piques each with the presence of power and of consent in the other party. Let me be alone to the end of the world, rather than that my friend should overstep, by a word or a look, his real sympathy. I am equally balked by antagonism and by compliance. Let him not cease an instant to be himself. The only joy I have in his being mine, is that the not mine is mine . I hate, where I looked for a manly furtherance, or at least a manly resistance, to find a mush of concession. Better be a nettle in the side of your friend than his echo. The condition which high friendship demands is ability to do without it. That high office requires great and sublime parts. There must be very two, before there can be very one. Let it be an alliance of two large, formidable natures, mutually beheld, mutually feared, before yet they recognize the deep identity which beneath these disparities unites them.

He only is fit for this society who is magnanimous; who is sure that greatness and goodness are always economy; who is not swift to intermeddle with his fortunes. Let him not intermeddle with this. Leave to the diamond its ages to grow, nor expect to accelerate the births of the eternal. Friendship demands a religious treatment. We talk of choosing our friends, but friends are self-elected. Reverence is a great part of it. Treat your friend as a spectacle. Of course he has merits that are not yours, and that you cannot honor, if you must needs hold him close to your person. Stand aside; give those merits room; let them mount and expand. Are you the friend of your friend's buttons, or of his thought? To a great heart he will still be a stranger in a thousand particulars, that he may come near in the holiest ground. Leave it to girls and boys to regard a friend as property, and to suck a short and all-confounding pleasure, instead of the noblest benefit.

Let us buy our entrance to this guild by a long probation. Why should we desecrate noble and beautiful souls by intruding on them? Why insist on rash personal relations with your friend? Why go to his house, or know his mother and brother and sisters? Why be visited by him at your own? Are these things material to our covenant? Leave this touching and clawing. Let him be to me a spirit. A message, a thought, a sincerity, a glance from him, I want, but not news, nor pottage. I can get politics, and chat, and neighbourly conveniences from cheaper companions. Should not the society of my friend be to me poetic, pure, universal, and great as nature itself? Ought I to feel that our tie is profane in comparison with yonder bar of cloud that sleeps on the horizon, or that clump of waving grass that divides the brook? Let us not vilify, but raise it to that standard. That great, defying eye, that scornful beauty of his mien and action, do not pique yourself on reducing, but rather fortify and enhance. Worship his superiorities; wish him not less by a thought, but hoard and tell them all. Guard him as thy counterpart. Let him be to thee for ever a sort of beautiful enemy, untamable, devoutly revered, and not a trivial conveniency to be soon outgrown and cast aside. The hues of the opal, the light of the diamond, are not to be seen, if the eye is too near. To my friend I write a letter, and from him I receive a letter. That seems to you a little. It suffices me. It is a spiritual gift worthy of him to give, and of me to receive. It profanes nobody. In these warm lines the heart will trust itself, as it will not to the tongue, and pour out the prophecy of a godlier existence than all the annals of heroism have yet made good.

Respect so far the holy laws of this fellowship as not to prejudice its perfect flower by your impatience for its opening. We must be our own before we can be another's. There is at least this satisfaction in crime, according to the Latin proverb; — you can speak to your accomplice on even terms. Crimen quos inquinat, aequat . To those whom we admire and love, at first we cannot. Yet the least defect of self-possession vitiates, in my judgment, the entire relation. There can never be deep peace between two spirits, never mutual respect, until, in their dialogue, each stands for the whole world.

What is so great as friendship, let us carry with what grandeur of spirit we can. Let us be silent, — so we may hear the whisper of the gods. Let us not interfere. Who set you to cast about what you should say to the select souls, or how to say any thing to such? No matter how ingenious, no matter how graceful and bland. There are innumerable degrees of folly and wisdom, and for you to say aught is to be frivolous. Wait, and thy heart shall speak. Wait until the necessary and everlasting overpowers you, until day and night avail themselves of your lips. The only reward of virtue is virtue; the only way to have a friend is to be one. You shall not come nearer a man by getting into his house. If unlike, his soul only flees the faster from you, and you shall never catch a true glance of his eye. We see the noble afar off, and they repel us; why should we intrude? Late, — very late, — we perceive that no arrangements, no introductions, no consuetudes or habits of society, would be of any avail to establish us in such relations with them as we desire, — but solely the uprise of nature in us to the same degree it is in them; then shall we meet as water with water; and if we should not meet them then, we shall not want them, for we are already they. In the last analysis, love is only the reflection of a man's own worthiness from other men. Men have sometimes exchanged names with their friends, as if they would signify that in their friend each loved his own soul.

The higher the style we demand of friendship, of course the less easy to establish it with flesh and blood. We walk alone in the world. Friends, such as we desire, are dreams and fables. But a sublime hope cheers ever the faithful heart, that elsewhere, in other regions of the universal power, souls are now acting, enduring, and daring, which can love us, and which we can love. We may congratulate ourselves that the period of nonage, of follies, of blunders, and of shame, is passed in solitude, and when we are finished men, we shall grasp heroic hands in heroic hands. Only be admonished by what you already see, not to strike leagues of friendship with cheap persons, where no friendship can be. Our impatience betrays us into rash and foolish alliances which no God attends. By persisting in your path, though you forfeit the little you gain the great. You demonstrate yourself, so as to put yourself out of the reach of false relations, and you draw to you the first-born of the world, — those rare pilgrims whereof only one or two wander in nature at once, and before whom the vulgar great show as spectres and shadows merely.

It is foolish to be afraid of making our ties too spiritual, as if so we could lose any genuine love. Whatever correction of our popular views we make from insight, nature will be sure to bear us out in, and though it seem to rob us of some joy, will repay us with a greater. Let us feel, if we will, the absolute insulation of man. We are sure that we have all in us. We go to Europe, or we pursue persons, or we read books, in the instinctive faith that these will call it out and reveal us to ourselves. Beggars all. The persons are such as we; the Europe an old faded garment of dead persons; the books their ghosts. Let us drop this idolatry. Let us give over this mendicancy. Let us even bid our dearest friends farewell, and defy them, saying, 'Who are you? Unhand me: I will be dependent no more.' Ah! seest thou not, O brother, that thus we part only to meet again on a higher platform, and only be more each other's, because we are more our own? A friend is Janus-faced: he looks to the past and the future. He is the child of all my foregoing hours, the prophet of those to come, and the harbinger of a greater friend.

I do then with my friends as I do with my books. I would have them where I can find them, but I seldom use them. We must have society on our own terms, and admit or exclude it on the slightest cause. I cannot afford to speak much with my friend. If he is great, he makes me so great that I cannot descend to converse. In the great days, presentiments hover before me in the firmament. I ought then to dedicate myself to them. I go in that I may seize them, I go out that I may seize them. I fear only that I may lose them receding into the sky in which now they are only a patch of brighter light. Then, though I prize my friends, I cannot afford to talk with them and study their visions, lest I lose my own. It would indeed give me a certain household joy to quit this lofty seeking, this spiritual astronomy, or search of stars, and come down to warm sympathies with you; but then I know well I shall mourn always the vanishing of my mighty gods. It is true, next week I shall have languid moods, when I can well afford to occupy myself with foreign objects; then I shall regret the lost literature of your mind, and wish you were by my side again. But if you come, perhaps you will fill my mind only with new visions, not with yourself but with your lustres, and I shall not be able any more than now to converse with you. So I will owe to my friends this evanescent intercourse. I will receive from them, not what they have, but what they are. They shall give me that which properly they cannot give, but which emanates from them. But they shall not hold me by any relations less subtile and pure. We will meet as though we met not, and part as though we parted not.

It has seemed to me lately more possible than I knew, to carry a friendship greatly, on one side, without due correspondence on the other. Why should I cumber myself with regrets that the receiver is not capacious? It never troubles the sun that some of his rays fall wide and vain into ungrateful space, and only a small part on the reflecting planet. Let your greatness educate the crude and cold companion. If he is unequal, he will presently pass away; but thou art enlarged by thy own shining, and, no longer a mate for frogs and worms, dost soar and burn with the gods of the empyrean. It is thought a disgrace to love unrequited. But the great will see that true love cannot be unrequited. True love transcends the unworthy object, and dwells and broods on the eternal, and when the poor interposed mask crumbles, it is not sad, but feels rid of so much earth, and feels its independency the surer. Yet these things may hardly be said without a sort of treachery to the relation. The essence of friendship is entireness, a total magnanimity and trust. It must not surmise or provide for infirmity. It treats its object as a god, that it may deify both.

Ralph Waldo Emerson left the ministry to pursue a career in writing and public speaking. Emerson became one of America's best known and best-loved 19th-century figures. More About Emerson

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What Is The Real Definition Of A True Friend?

Whether a friendship is new or old, there may be times when we need to assess whether someone is a true friend or simply a companion. Each friendship is unique; some may be more casual in nature, while others may be deep, lifelong relationships. Learning to recognize a true friend can be crucial for ensuring our social circle consists of supportive, understanding, mutually beneficial relationships. 

Here, we’ll explore the nature of true friendship so you can recognize when a friend relationship may be worth investing in. We’ll also cover how to find and maintain friendships so you can build and strengthen your connections with others.

Recognizing a true friend

True friends are those who offer you support, improve your quality of life, promote self-confidence, provide honesty and unconditional love, and help you progress mentally. In a healthy friendship, both parties can feel free to be themselves without fear of judgment, allowing them to feel comfortable and secure in each other’s presence. True friends typically prioritize quality time together, as well as consistent communication.

Benefits of true friendship

Understanding the meaning and definition of true friendship often requires patience and tolerance. Having a real friend can provide comfort, safety, and companionship. 

Here are some benefits of having true friends.

Having true friends can mean having an effective support system. True friends generally stick around during difficult times. 

• Improved quality of life

Life without friends can be dull and lonely. It may even contribute to depression and other mental health issues. Knowing you have true friends can improve your quality of life by adding moments of happiness, connection, and understanding.

• Promoting self-confidence

True friends are often there to motivate and encourage you. They may remind you of your positive qualities and all you have to offer when you’re feeling down. When the journey seems challenging, one of the  qualities of a good friend may be that they stay by your side and help you overcome any challenge you experience. 

A real friend can be honest with you, even when what they have to say may be hard for you to hear. For example, a true friend may let you know if they notice that your partner seems to be treating you poorly or if your new job seems to be bringing you down. This authenticity and honesty can contribute to a realistic perspective of life.

• Unconditional love

What is true friendship ? True friendship may be defined as mutual unconditional love. This can be a different type of love than you might receive from your family or your partner. Real friends may show unconditional love and expect nothing in return. They may not judge you or think less of you. They will likely always have your back and support you through thick and thin.

• Mental progress

Real friends can help you focus on your goals, stay motivated, and be creative. Having true friends may help you stay on track and make wise decisions. Real friends generally shouldn't influence you negatively; instead, they might encourage you to do better and help you make decisions that will lead you in the right direction.

How to foster and maintain true friendships

Fostering healthy friendships can require effort, dedication, and commitment. It’s often essential to be honest and willing to spend time with your friends. You should also be patient and understanding of each other's circumstances. Additionally, it’s usually best to respect one another's opinions and not be judgmental of their choices. Trust can be another important component of friendship.

Overcoming the challenges of finding true friends

Finding true friends in today's world can be a challenging task. However, with patience, effort, and a little self-reflection, you may find true friends who can support you through life's ups and downs.

One of the biggest challenges in finding true friends can be distinguishing them from casual acquaintances. To find true friends, you may need to look for people who might be willing to be there for you no matter what, who understand and support you, and who you can trust with your deepest thoughts and feelings.

Another challenge in finding true friends might be that many people tend to be wary of opening up and making themselves vulnerable. To find true friends, you may need to be willing to be yourself and share your thoughts and feelings with others. It can be hard to trust others and to let them see the real you, but this is often a critical step in building true friendships.

Try to remember that finding true friends usually takes time and effort. You may not find the perfect friend overnight. With patience, persistence, and a positive attitude, you may overcome the challenges of finding true friends and building lasting relationships that can bring joy and support to your life.

Benefits of online therapy

Online therapy can provide a valuable tool for individuals looking to build stronger relationships with their friends. With the help of a licensed therapist, individuals can explore their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors and learn how they may impact their relationships with their friends. By developing self-awareness and better communication skills, individuals can foster a deeper and more meaningful connection with their friends, potentially leading to stronger and more fulfilling friendships. Online therapy provides a convenient and available way for individuals to prioritize their mental and emotional well-being while also working toward building a better relationship with those they care about.

Effectiveness of online therapy

According to one study, online therapy and in-person therapy generally have the same efficacy rates. This can mean that either option can be valid for those who wish to work with a licensed therapist to improve their friendships and overall well-being.

What is true friendship in one word?

It can be difficult to define good friends in one word. Some options may be real, love, acceptance, honesty, truth, support, comfort, and safety.

What is a characteristic of true friendship?

A close friendship has many characteristics and may mean something different to everyone. True friends stick around when you need support. They’re not only interested in spending time with you when things are good; they also help you when life gets hard. Real friends can be brutally honest with you and may make you feel like you can be your authentic self. True friendships may help you become the best version of yourself, helping you stay on track and encouraging you to improve and try harder.

What does friendship mean to you?

Everyone has a different view of what friendship means. Some people may have essential traits they need in a good friend, like common hobbies or a mutual love of God. Others look for someone with a mutual desire to accomplish life goals or who makes them feel heard. Generally, friendship can be a way to describe someone who supports you in difficult situations and makes you feel special whenever you’re together.

What describes friendship?

Friendship is a unique experience for everyone, so there is no single way to explain it. True friendship can be described as a form of unconditional love different from the love of family members, like a parent, child, or partner. Close friends will likely reserve judgment, offer support, hold each other in high regard, and make time in their busy lives to reconnect.

What is the role of true friendship?

Friends can benefit your mental health in many ways, including preventing isolation and loneliness, reducing stress, improving self-confidence, helping you cope with hard times, and encouraging you to be your best self. Having friends may also promote better physical health. Adults with strong social networks may have reduced rates of high blood pressure and depression and are likely to live longer than their peers.

How do you know a friend is a true friend?

People may define friendship differently, so describing what makes a true friend can be challenging. Some of the characteristics of a true friendship include empathy, selflessness, and trustworthiness. A true best friend may also have common interests, make each other laugh, and work well as a team.

What are the most important traits of a true friend?

While everyone has their own needs in a friendship, some common traits that make a true friend may include honesty, loyalty, dependability, and empathy. A true friend will likely listen to you and make you feel good when you’re together, and there will probably be little to no drama in the relationship.

What is the value of true friendship?

The value of true friendship may lie in both what you get out of it and what you put into it. A true friend may be someone who accepts you unconditionally, helps you grow, supports you in tough times, and increases your ability to love yourself. You may also do these things for them, showing them they mean as much to you as you do to them and becoming a better friend.

What is a strong friendship?

A strong friendship can be one that lasts. Whether you have a friendship that has spanned decades or a more recent one that has lasted through various ups and downs, any friendship that withstands the test of time or survives when life gets challenging is likely a strong one.

What makes a friendship strong?

Some friend quotes may do an excellent job of explaining what makes a friendship strong. For example, Tennessee Williams is credited with the quote, “Time doesn't take away from friendship, nor does separation." What makes a friendship strong may be the people in it. When friends are committed to their relationship and show each other mutual respect, empathy, loyalty, and dependability, it strengthens their connection. 

• Why Do I Have No Life? Medically reviewed by Laura Angers Maddox , NCC, LPC
• Time Perception: Where Did The Time Go? Medically reviewed by Julie Dodson , MA
• Relationships and Relations

How to know if someone is a true friend

T he relationships can be fleeting and superficial, but the value of genuine friendship stands out like a beacon of authenticity. But how does one distinguish between acquaintances and true friends? Are there telltale signs that unveil the sincerity of a bond? Let's explore the subtle nuances that delineate genuine friendship from mere association.

Reliability

True friends stand as pillars of trust. They safeguard your confidence, never breaching your trust or propagating rumours behind your back. Consistent displays of loyalty and dependability suggest a genuine appreciation for your friendship.

READ ALSO: Building trust in relationships: The key to overall happiness

Sincere interest

Genuine friendships thrive on mutual interest and concern. True friends invest time in actively listening to your joys, sorrows, and everything in between. They celebrate your triumphs and offer unwavering support during challenging times, free from judgment or hesitation.

Mutual giving

At the core of authentic friendship lies reciprocity. It's not a unilateral exchange where one person perpetually gives while the other merely receives. True friends contribute equally to the relationship, extending support, empathy, and companionship when needed.

True friends embrace your true self, imperfections and all. They cherish your quirks, embrace your flaws, and refrain from attempting to mould you into their image of perfection. In their eyes, you're valued just the way you are.

Unwavering support

Genuine friendships are marked by steadfast support, irrespective of circumstances. True friends stand by your side through thick and thin, offering encouragement in your pursuits and extending a helping hand whenever required.

READ ALSO: Pisces, Horoscope Today, February 24, 2024: Prioritise your mental and emotional well-being today

Respect serves as the foundation of genuine friendships. True friends honour your boundaries, opinions, and decisions, even in disagreement. They hold your autonomy in high regard and abstain from manipulation or control for personal gain.

Shared values

While differences can enrich friendships, shared values often deepen them. True friends resonate with your fundamental beliefs and principles, fostering a profound connection rooted in mutual understanding and harmony.

Time and dedication

Authentic friendships demand an investment of time and effort for nurturing and sustenance. True friends prioritize your relationship amidst their busy schedules, dedicating meaningful moments and shared experiences to strengthen the bond.

READ ALSO: Cancer, Horoscope Today, February 25, 2024: Embrace the nurturing aspect of your nature

Forgiveness

Conflict may inevitably arise in any relationship. However, true friends navigate through disagreements with empathy, comprehension, and forgiveness. They prioritize the preservation of your bond over petty grievances, striving for amicable resolution and mutual progress.

Celebration of growth

Genuine friendships rejoice in personal evolution and advancement. True friends applaud your accomplishments, fuel your aspirations, and inspire you to aim higher. They revel in your successes as if they were their own, fostering a culture of mutual growth and support.

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Lilly Dancyger on First Love and the Friendships that Made (and Sustained) Her

The author discusses her new essay collection and proposes a new way of approaching self-understanding.

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“It felt strange to talk about that part of my life without going into all those relationships, because they really were the most important thing in my life at that time,” Dancyger says when we meet over Zoom in early May. Still, she maintains, the book needed to shave its excess. She couldn’t fill every other page with odes to her roommates and confidants, however substantial their influence in her youth. “As a consolation to myself,” she says, “I was like, ‘You can write about them later, you know?’”

Dancyger kept that promise. Her latest book, First Love: Essays on Friendship — out now from Dial Press —is a tender, unswerving homage to her found family, but also an insightful study of friendship as identity-crafting, a way of assembling tools to compose (and improve) a self. The essays draw from Dancyger’s own life without any gloss or euphemism: The author summons vivid vignettes from her tempestuous youth in New York City; her agony following the death of her beloved cousin Sabina, who was murdered in her early 20s; and her self-reconstruction as a “hypercompetent” author and academic after having dropped out of high school in her formative years. Throughout each of these memories resides a dear friend, often a handful of them, each of whom shaped Dancyger’s understanding of her world, etching her concepts of morality and femininity and creativity into bone. This approach makes First Love more of a memoir-in-essays than a traditional work of cultural criticism, and yet Dancyger makes a remarkable hybrid of the two genres, weaving in references to Sylvia Plath, Peter Jackson’s Heavenly Creatures , Janis Joplin, and In Cold Blood to make salient points about sisterhood in the age of “sad girl” Tumblr, the true-crime boom, and the iPhone camera.

“I wanted to look outward and take a broader view,” Dancyger says. “Each close relationship in my life is an entryway into a different aspect of myself, a different way of being in the world, so I thought each of these essays could use the relationship to open up and talk about something else.”

Ahead, Dancyger discusses her approach to the enormous topic of sisterly love, and argues for the power of surrounding yourself with people who bring out “different versions” of your personality.

First Love: Essays on Friendship by Lilly Dancyger

A lot of essay collections are broadly topical, looping in pieces of the author’s personal experience but keeping the focus on wide-lens cultural criticism. you employ the opposite tactic: your essays are each rooted first and foremost in memoir. why did that feel like the correct way for you to format first love .

Anything that reaches for objectivity is less compelling to me as a writer. Even in the pieces in this book that do go beyond the personal and say something larger about culture and about existing in the world as a woman—they’re all still very subjective. They’re all still very much about my experience of those things, because it’s hard enough to speak on my own experience with authority.

I’m not trying to speak for anybody else or be at all prescriptive. This never was going to be a definitive book about friendship, because I don’t think I could write a definitive book about friendship. I can only write about my own friendships and hope that readers see themselves reflected in it. That feels very different to me than saying, “This is what friendship is.”

I appreciate that instinct. I do think many authors are encouraged, for better or worse, to become the ultimate experts on a topic, and I don’t know how possible that is every time.

I mean, I’m a millennial New Yorker, white, a Jewish only child. My experience of friendship is going to be very different from anybody else’s.

I’m curious about how you decided which specific essays—and even which specific relationships—to feature.

Choosing which relationships to include really didn’t have anything to do with which relationships are more impactful or significant in my life. It really was about which relationships made my wheels turn in an interesting way; which relationships I had something compelling to say about. With some that was very clear right away, and with some—okay, there are a couple in there where I was like, This person has to be in there. What can I say about this person? And went looking for the topic based on the fact that it would be weird to leave whoever out. There also were several that I planned and thought about and even drafted, but they just didn’t make the cut on a craft or quality level, even if the relationship was important, the idea compelling.

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In the book, you highlight how the lines between platonic love and romantic love are often blurrier than some care to admit, because of that desire to be so fully consumed by your friends—especially when you’re young. That feeling is so potent, and also so misunderstood.

Absolutely, and I felt a little bit of that, too. [The intensity of the feeling] is not embarrassing , but it’s vulnerable.

It’s just less expected, I think, to spend time articulating how intensely you love your friends. I put that stuff down on the page and then I gave it to the people I had been writing about, and there was a little bit of—I don’t know, a feeling of being exposed. But, also, I wouldn’t have had those stories to tell or had that depth of emotion to express if I didn’t have the kinds of relationships where I could write a long essay about how much I love them, and send it to them and not feel embarrassed. The friends that I did send these essays to responded in really lovely ways, but yeah, I think it is not usual, right? And that’s why [writing the book] felt necessary.

Do you feel as though we’re in an era where these stories about friendship are taking more of a central focus, both in publishing and in Hollywood? Or does it still feel as though platonic love is brushed aside in favor of romance?

Once I started writing about this, I became much more aware of every article, every show, and it does kind of feel like we’re having a cultural moment right now where people are talking more about the importance of friendship, which is great. But I think cultural change happens slowly. So friendship is “having a moment” right now, but that doesn’t mean that these deeply entrenched social norms about who we actually prioritize in our lives, when it comes down to it, have changed overnight.

There’s so much lip service paid to, ‘Oh, this TV show is highlighting how central friendships are to our lives,’ which is true, but is that actually reflected in the way our society is set up? The way that we live? The way that we parent?

There’s a difference between loving your friends and actually holding space in your life for them to be a priority.

And I don’t blame people who don’t do that, necessarily, because it’s hard. Everything is set up for you not to do that, right? Like you go to the hospital, and who’s allowed to visit you, right? It’s not enough to say, “I’m her best friend. Let me in.” You’ll be brushed aside.

I loved your essay titled “Portraiture,” about your friend’s photos of you and how they impacted your self-perception. It made me wonder: In your opinion, how much of a deep, intimate friendship is about seeing yourself reflected, versus really seeing the other person? Is it a perfect blend of both?

I think it’s both. I think that seeing the other person clearly gives you a window into a version of yourself that you could be, and so the relationship is who you are in that context with that person. The question of which of those things do we value and want to hold on to is maybe open to debate.

Also, I am a Gemini, so I think maybe I have an extreme version of that, where I really do feel like I exist as a different version of myself with each person that I’m close to. But not in a false way! I feel like when people talk about this, often it sounds like a Talented Mr. Ripley situation, where you’re intentionally putting on an act, but I don’t think it’s that. I think it’s that there is that aspect of you existing already, and different people access or wake up or connect to those different parts of yourself.

.css-1aear8u:before{margin:0 auto 0.9375rem;width:34px;height:25px;content:'';display:block;background-repeat:no-repeat;}.loaded .css-1aear8u:before{background-image:url(/_assets/design-tokens/elle/static/images/quote.fddce92.svg);} .css-1bvxk2j{font-family:SaolDisplay,SaolDisplay-fallback,SaolDisplay-roboto,SaolDisplay-local,Georgia,Times,serif;font-size:1.625rem;font-weight:normal;line-height:1.2;margin:0rem;margin-bottom:0.3125rem;}@media(max-width: 48rem){.css-1bvxk2j{font-size:2.125rem;line-height:1.1;}}@media(min-width: 40.625rem){.css-1bvxk2j{font-size:2.125rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 64rem){.css-1bvxk2j{font-size:2.25rem;line-height:1.1;}}@media(min-width: 73.75rem){.css-1bvxk2j{font-size:2.375rem;line-height:1.2;}}.css-1bvxk2j b,.css-1bvxk2j strong{font-family:inherit;font-weight:bold;}.css-1bvxk2j em,.css-1bvxk2j i{font-style:italic;font-family:inherit;}.css-1bvxk2j i,.css-1bvxk2j em{font-style:italic;} That’s what we want most as human beings, I think, right? To be seen and known and loved for all the different versions of ourselves.”

That’s a lot of what the thrill of connecting with someone in a really intense way is— maybe that person’s connecting with a part of you that has never really been witnessed or engaged with before. And that’s what we want most as human beings, I think, right? To be seen and known and loved for all the different versions of ourselves.

That’s part of where the limitation of the precedents we give to romantic love comes in: this expectation that one person should see and understand and love and speak to every single aspect of you. I just don’t think that’s real and possible. There’s a version of me that I am at home with my spouse, and that is a version of me that I’m comfortable being most of the time. Maybe that’s what we pick a significant other based on, like, “Okay, this is the default, main relationship feeling that I’m happy to inhabit and live in most of the time.” But I still crave those connections with the people who are important in my life. I still need to go and visit a close friend and go be this other version of myself for a while.

At the risk of sounding wildly cliché, it is so much harder to be our “full selves” than we often care to realize. There’s so many layers to who we are that we do need to surround ourselves with people who draw out different elements. That’s not a negative thing.

And that doesn’t mean any of those elements are less authentic.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

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How to Know If Your Friends Are Real

There are more ways to connect with people than ever before. But are these connections real? Or simulating real relationships?

Social media has made it easier to build more parasocial relationships with celebrities and influencers. What impact are those connections having on our relationships IRL? And how do they shift our understanding and expectations of intimacy and trust?

Florida State University assistant professor Arienne Ferchaud defines parasocial relationships and discusses how new technologies are changing the role of entertainment in our lives.

Listen and subscribe here: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube | Google Podcasts | Pocket Casts

The following transcript has been edited for clarity:

Megan Garber: Andrea, growing up, did you have an imaginary friend?

Andrea Valdez: I did. Yeah, I had an imaginary friend whose name I cannot believe I’m gonna tell you. Sorry. I cannot believe—sorry. His name was Barfy.

Garber: Ah! Yes!

Valdez: I definitely have questioned if this imaginary-friend thing really happened—with a name like Barfy, it feels like it could be a total false memory that someone planted in my head to mess with me. But when it’s come up over the years in conversation with my mom, she said she thinks maybe I was trying to say Barbie.

Garber: Do you have any memory of how he came to be? Or what he looked like?

Valdez: No, I don’t remember any of that. I just think I was too young to form any real coherent memories about him. My brother is six years older than me, and so I kind of wonder if I made up a friend because I was lonely when he went off to elementary school. And so Barfy wasn’t “real” but was real company, and I think I needed that type of connection for some real reason.

Garber: Yes, definitely. RIP, Barfy.

Valdez: I’m Andrea Valdez. I’m an editor at The Atlantic .

Garber: And I’m Megan Garber, a staff writer at The Atlantic .

Valdez: This is How to Know What’s Real .

Valdez: Megan, I know you’ve been writing about technology and culture for a long time at The Atlantic , but I feel like in these last few years, you’ve really been focused on thinking about truth and fiction.

Garber: Uh-huh; yeah.

Valdez : I mean, you wrote an article last year called “ We’re Already Living in the Metaverse .”

Garber: [ Laughter. ] Welcome.

Valdez: Tell me more about what you mean by living in the metaverse.

Garber: Yeah. So I’m thinking of the metaverse in part this long-standing dream in the tech world—this hope that, when computers get advanced enough, they can create environments where virtual reality seems less virtual and more reality. And, of course, the tech hasn’t quite caught up to that big vision, but the idea of the metaverse is what we are navigating right now—this idea that one day we’ll be able to immerse ourselves in our entertainment. That’s the world that’s here. It’s just that the immersion isn’t strictly a matter of a single place or platform. Instead, it’s everywhere.

Valdez: That line between reality and fantasy feels really blurry right now.

Garber: Yes.

Valdez: There’s the really obviously insidious stuff—like, there’s the rise of deepfakes and AI-generated scams. But there are these slightly murkier areas. Like, are content creators on YouTube and social media showing us their authentic selves, or is it really just a performance?

Garber: Yes. And in some ways those are age-old questions, right? People have been thinking about the difference between the performed life and real life, such as it is, for centuries—and millennia, even! But exactly then, like you said, the difference feels hazier now than it’s ever been. And so much of that has to do with technology. I think about the line “All the world’s a stage,” and that used to be a metaphor. But it’s becoming ever more literal.

Garber: Imaginary friends seem so childlike and so kind of fanciful and fantastical, but it does occur to me that we have versions of them even as adults, right?

Valdez: Totally.

Garber: I’m thinking about, for example, the people on my social media who I follow—and I know in some ways very intimate details about their lives. I know what’s in their medicine cabinets, what they have for breakfast. And of course they know nothing about me. They don’t know even that I exist. Do you have people in your life, Andrea, that you feel connected to in that way?

Valdez: Yeah; I mean, of course. There’s like, a lot of folks that are listening. I listen to several podcasts, and I feel really close to the hosts of those podcasts. And it makes me just feel like I really know them. And like, there’s, like, a couple of running influencers that I follow on Instagram, and one of them just finished the Boston Marathon, and I was so proud of her. [ Laughter .] And it’s just really strange to say that, even, because she’s a total stranger.

Garber: [ Laughter .]

Valdez: I mean, I guess I can be proud of this relative stranger—but, like, I just knew so much about her ambition and her goals. So yeah; it’s totally weird. And like, with the podcasters—I mean, they’re in my ears every week, so I feel like I have this sort of standing date with them.

Garber: Mmm. Yes. And I think a key thing with all those relationships is that the “friends” you’re describing are real and imaginary at the same time.

Valdez: Huh.

Garber: So they’re relationships, definitely, and they’re giving you a lot of what IRL friendships can. But also the “relation” aspect is so different from what it would be IRL.

And I wonder: What are those relationships we’re building with these people we don’t really know?

Arienne Ferchaud: A parasocial relationship is essentially this sort of simulated relationship.

Garber: So, Andrea, I talked with Dr. Arienne Ferchaud. She is an assistant professor of communications at Florida State University, and she’s been studying emerging media and especially the feelings of closeness that so many of us get just by watching strangers on a screen—even with something as commonplace as watching the news.

Ferchaud: The news anchor is talking to the screen like they’re talking to you. It sort of simulates a back-and-forth, because they are looking right at you. They might use words like our community , lots of we and us and inclusive language like that. So it simulates kind of a social interaction, but it’s not. It’s actually one-sided.

Garber: Dr. Ferchaud, when did your interest in parasocial relationships really begin?

Ferchaud: Through a series of kind of weird and unfortunate—not unfortunate, really fortunate—events, I wound up having an on-campus job. And at first I wanted something really easy, that I wouldn’t have to, like, do a lot, but all those were taken. [ Laughter .] So I wound up as an undergraduate assistant to a professor there by the name of Dr. Meghan Sanders. And we worked on this study related to this character on the TV show House . The character kind of abruptly committed suicide on the show and was gone off the show. This is not a real person. The actor, of course, is fine. But people were really mourning that character.

Garber: Huh.

Ferchaud: He was played by Kal Penn.

Garber: Oh, that’s right; I remember that.

Ferchaud: He left to go work for Obama, and so they killed him off the show. [ Laughter .] People actually set up these Facebook pages that were memorial pages. It was virtually indistinguishable from, like, a memorial page you would set up for a friend. Like: “Oh, I’m gonna miss you so much.” Talking directly to the person. But it’s that same sort of idea when that character that we are really fond of is kind of taken away. People really do kind of react like they are just another person that they know.

Garber: I’ve certainly felt that, and—for me as a viewer—it’s a little bit hard to process that feeling. I question the validity, because I know this is fiction. This is fake. Why do I care so much? But, it is a loss!

Ferchaud: It goes back to sort of evolutionary biology and psychology. Essentially, evolution happens over millions of years, right? It takes a long time. But when we think about the history of television, that hasn’t been around that long in the grand scheme of things. I mean, my parents were, like, there when television started. So you kind of have this situation where, consciously, yes: We know this is not real. This character might be dead, but the actor’s fine. But our lizard brains, in a way, don’t really know the difference.

Garber: So do our minds—I mean, like, how do they distinguish even between the sort of factual person and the fictional person? Or is the point that they simply don’t?

Ferchaud: Yeah; on some level, they don’t. Based on what I know about parasocial relationships, I think it’s a matter of closeness to some degree. You know, when my father passed away I was—and still am, you know, a couple years later—very grief-stricken about that, right? You feel that loss very intimately all the time, every day, because that person is part of your life all the time, every day. Whereas with media characters, they’re not really a part of your whole life in the same way. We know them in that very specific context, and so that would indicate a lesser degree of closeness. You certainly feel the loss at that time, but you kind of get over it much quicker.

Garber: Yeah; that makes sense. It’s almost like the mechanisms of television, which are very, you know, episodic and very kind of in the moment. But then you turn off the TV and go on with your life.

Valdez: I don’t know, Megan, but is that still the world we live in? Where you just turn off your TV and you can reenter reality?

Garber: Yeah; it is complicated. I use the phrase “IRL”—so “in real life”—all the time to talk about in-person interactions. And really to talk about the physical world as a general environment. But also the idea of “real life” as a distinctly physical thing can be a little misleading. Because some stuff on the web, just as we’ve been talking about, is real. The people we interact with on it, the topics we might be learning about or debating, are often real. So the screens are part of our realities. And really importantly, they mediate real relationships.

Valdez: Yeah; I mean, I justify a lot of my screen time by a version of what you just said—that these are real, meaningful relationships, and they’re relationships that I need to be spending time with.

Garber: For many of us, the screens are unavoidable. I’m looking down at my little watch right now. They’re just around these screens. Which makes me think about Marshall McLuhan, who did so much to shape the way people talk about media today. He talked about screens, and really media in general—whether they help us to see each other, or hear each other, or just know each other—how those mediums become “extensions of man.” And I think what we’re seeing right now is what it really means to have our devices in a very direct and often literal way be extensions of us.

Valdez: And we’re not really even just experiencing screens more as a part of our lives; we’re bringing more parts of our lives into our screens.

Garber: Yes. It’s no longer just fictional stories or, you know, the straight-ahead news from the streets. Instead, we’re just witnessing other people’s lives as they choose to share them. We’re invited to their living rooms, into their kitchens, medicine cabinets. [ Laughter .] And it’s just creating all these new ways of seeing each other—whether in a literal sense or just in a broader way of awareness and connection to other people’s lives.

Valdez: We’re physically looking at other people so much more than we ever probably have. There’s a study by this psychologist named Gayle Stever that discusses how we’re hardwired to become connected to faces and voices: things that are familiar to us. And her findings suggest that parasocial connections, like we’re talking about, might just be natural extensions of this evolutionary instinct that exists in us. So, if we’re constantly being presented with people on our screens, maybe there’s something just simply innate in us that leads us to form these attachments.

Garber: Dr. Ferchaud, you’ve studied what people connect with when they watch other people on screen, and I’d love to know what your research found. Is it authenticity that we’re seeking?

Ferchaud: I would say it’s primarily the perception of authenticity. In which case, how authentic it actually is doesn’t matter, really. Garber: Oh, interesting.

Ferchaud: I do have a study where we looked at YouTubers and parasocial attributes—like, what they were doing in their videos to sort of cultivate a parasocial relationship. And so if we think about, for example, a YouTuber: A lot of those people start off—if we go back to like 2005, 2006, when YouTube was really just starting—those people are starting off in their bedrooms with, like, a janky camera. And it gives this idea like, Okay, I’m just a regular person. You’re just a regular person. We’re all just regular people together. [ Laughter. ] That industry has changed quite a bit.

Garber: Yep.

Ferchaud: YouTubers are professionals now. And so authenticity is still that perception like, Oh, this is just a regular person like me . Because if you’re an influencer, your whole career is based on your ability to create parasocial relationships. Right? Garber: Yeah.

Ferchaud: So, what we found is that it was a lot of self-disclosure, and we were pretty broad with that. So it didn’t have to be, like, a deep, dark. It could be something very small. And what we found there was: It didn’t really matter the type of self-disclosure. So it could be positive things: “I had a good day. I did some fun stuff with my friends.” You know, it could be neutral things: “I woke up late today.” It could be negative things. It didn’t really matter. It still built those feelings of authenticity. That maps social relationships. Generally speaking, if you’ve got a friend, you know some positive things, some negative things, some neutral things about them.

Garber: I wonder, too, about the lines, then, between sort of the parasocial relationship of today and the celebrity. You know, the “celebrity” is such an old idea, and I think many viewers and many audiences felt some kind of ownership over celebrities—at least their images, their, you know, PR realities. All that kind of stuff. So what are some of the differences between the modern parasocial relationship and the long-standing celebrity relationship?

Ferchaud: So if we think about it, we go back to the golden age of cinema. If you look into it, it’s really wild what the movie studios of the time, how much control they had over stars’ lives.

Ferchaud: And they would do things like arrange marriages. So they had this crazy control; so the images were very, very curated. Now, there’s just so much more access—and part of it, you know, when you think about an influencer, they are inviting people into their lives in a certain way. And there is that feeling of This is authentic, this is real —in a way that, you know, 1920s Hollywood doesn’t feel, because it was so carefully constructed. And I think that that authenticity kind of builds these parasocial relationships in a way that is interesting and unique. This idea of celebrity—that is also a parasocial relationship, but it is a little bit different. Because unlike our traditional understanding of influencers, a celebrity is sort of on a pedestal. Like, it’s hard to imagine Beyoncé shopping at Publix. [ Laughter. ] I don’t know. That would kind of break your brain a little bit.

Garber: It really would, yes.

Ferchaud: In a way, that’s not true with influencers, because of that sort of perception of authenticity a little bit more.

Garber: That totally makes sense. And it makes me wonder, too, if parasocial relationships and influencers, as they are having more influence over everything, if that will change our ideas about celebrity, too. I mean: Maybe the celebrities of the future—even the Beyoncé levels of celebrity in the future—you know, will be shopping at Publix. And will actually make a point of showing us that they shop at Publix, you know, to perform authenticity in that way.

Ferchaud: Well, I mean, I remember when Leo Messi moved to play at Inter Miami, somebody posted a video of him at Publix, and everybody was like, “Oh my gosh, how cool. He’s at Publix, you know, one of the most famous people in the world. And they shop at Publix.” I think people actually really respond to stuff like, “This is a real person. He shops at Publix.” Social media has changed the amount of access we get with celebrities.

Valdez: Megan, there’s sort of this inversion happening in which, maybe, influencers who gained followers by being quote-unquote “authentic” and letting you into their lives are now curating their lives more similarly to how the studios and the actors have traditionally done. And celebrities—who have historically been very curated and manicured—are showing us parts of their lives that are more authentic.

Garber: Yes, definitely. I think that’s such a good point. And I also wonder whether the inversion you’re describing is also just a matter of technological logistics—just a function, basically, of the way we now interact with each other through screens. This is something else that Marshall McLuhan talked about. You know, we may think about technology as gadgets that we build and use and, most importantly, that we control. But he said that tech also controls us.

Valdez: Oh yeah.

Garber: Yeah. Like, technology basically has an ideology baked into it in some way, where, you know, each new piece of technology—whether it’s a newspaper or a radio or a TV or a smartphone—has assumptions basically baked into it about how the human should interact with it.

Valdez: Yes.

Garber: And when we interact with those devices over time, that kind of conditions us to live according to those assumptions: according to the way that the technology, you know, guides us to live. So print mediums encourage us to think in ways that are basically, you know, printy—linear, logical. Valdez: Right.

Garber: And screen mediums are much more visceral and immediate.

Valdez: Yeah. And what about AI? Where is that going to fit into all of this? Right now there is just a lot of discussion around how AI is learning about us through large-language models, but how is it going to impact the way we think and how we look for connection?

Garber: Yes, yes, yes.

Valdez: We’re in this moment where it’s actually becoming quite hard for people to be able to discern instantly if something is even AI or not.

Garber: Yeah. Yup.

Valdez: So what do we call that relationship?

Garber: Mmm. I asked Dr. Ferchaud about that. I wanted to know, especially, if the relationships that people are building with AI could still be considered parasocial. Or if—as the bots learn how to imitate human connection—we should think differently about our relationships with AI.

Ferchaud: It is parasocial insomuch as that it’s one-sided, which is part of the definition of what parasocial is. But because the illusion of it being two-sided is so much deeper than, like, you’re watching somebody on TV, right?

Garber: Yeah. Yeah.

Ferchaud: So if we think about, like, a chatbot talking to you and you talking to it—it certainly seems more social in one sense, because you’re talking and getting a response. But generally speaking, they don’t have memory in the same way that humans do. And they don’t build relationships the same way humans do. As of right now, I’m sure, you know, I’m not—[ Laughter. ]—an AI person who’s designing and developing AI. And so they might listen to this and be like, “Just you wait.”

Garber: [ Laughter. ] Yeah, that’s right. There’s a bot that’s remembering you right now.

Ferchaud: I’m gonna train my bot right now.

Garber: Promise I’m not a bot.[ Laughter .]

Valdez: AI definitely feels like another evolution of the technology and the tools that we’ve seen. And, just like with those other tools, and with those other technologies and that other evolution, it’s really a bit incumbent on us—as people who are using those tools and technologies—to make sure that we’re not forming any sort of, you know, bad relationship to it. Like, we’ve got to check ourselves. Just like, you know: Anybody could have a potentially bad relationship in a parasocial relationship where they take it too far. With AI, we’re going to have to do the same thing.

Garber: Oh, I love that comparison. You know, we learn in adulthood to build boundaries in those relationships to protect ourselves, often, and to manage our vulnerabilities. Yeah, and our intimacies. And protect other people, too.

Valdez: Right.

Garber: And maybe we are in the kind of preteen phase of figuring out the relationship that we have with AI.

Valdez: Mmm. The preteen phase, the most fun phase to go through. [ Laughter. ]

Garber: And maybe the hardest, too; yeah.

Valdez: Interestingly, it’s also a phase where we are shifting our relationships to be more personal in nature. Researchers have found that this is the time you’re sharing more intimate thoughts with people outside your families. You’re letting people into your inner life. So actually, maybe describing this time with our devices as a sort of adolescence is really appropriate.

Garber: Yeah. And adolescence is also so, like, future-oriented, right? So much of that phase of life isn’t just about the relationships you’re forging, but about looking ahead and sort of figuring out how you want to be, who you want to become. And I think that’s useful, here, too—thinking about what kind of digital adulthood we want to create together, and especially what types of relationships we want to be building with each other.

Valdez: I actually think it’s really important that we’re not too quick to demonize this behavior. Like, what’s clear to me is that parasocial relationships are actually fine and normal to have. I mean, for some people, yes, there is a small risk of these relationships turning dysfunctional. But largely, parasocial relationships fulfill some sort of need we have in our lives.

Garber: Yes, and a really profound need too, I think. I’ve been thinking: We tend to talk about social media and bots and the web in general as things that are totally new and, you know, unprecedented. And therefore so hard to figure out. But the machines are really just new tools for doing this very ancient thing: which, like you said, is connecting with each other. Humans are social animals. And we’ll find ways to be social, whether it’s on a Zoom call, in person, or on a podcast.

Valdez: Well, it’s been really nice connecting with you, Megan.

Garber: Nice connecting with you too, Andrea!

Garber: That’s all for this episode of How to Know What’s Real . This episode was hosted by Andrea Valdez and me, Megan Garber. Our producer is Natalie Brennan. Our editors are Claudine Ebeid and Jocelyn Frank. Fact-check by Ena Alvarado. Our engineer is Rob Smierciak. Rob also composed some of the music for this show. The executive producer of audio is Claudine Ebeid, and the managing editor of audio is Andrea Valdez.

Valdez: Next time on How to Know What’s Real :

danah boyd: When we go online, you know, there’s joy in interacting with the people we know. But there’s also pleasure to, you know, what I think of as that, you know, the digital street, right? The ability to just see other people living their lives in ways that you’re just like, Wow, that’s different, and I’m intrigued.

Garber: What we can learn from urbanization about how to live in a crowded, bustling digital world.

We’ll be back with you on Monday.

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Book Review: Memoirist Lilly Dancyger’s penetrating essays explore the power of female friendships

This cover image released by Dial Press shows “First Love” by Lilly Dancyger. (Dial Press via AP)

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Who means more to you — your friends or your lovers? In a vivid, thoughtful and nuanced collection of essays, Lilly Dancyger explores the powerful role that female friendships played in her chaotic upbringing marked by her parents’ heroin use and her father’s untimely death when she was only 12.

“First Love: Essays on Friendship” begins with a beautiful paean to her cousin Sabina, who was raped and murdered at age 20 on her way home from a club. As little kids, their older relatives used to call them Snow White and Rose Red after the Grimm’s fairy tale, “two sisters who are not rivals or foils, but simply love each other.”

That simple, uncomplicated love would become the template for a series of subsequent relationships with girls and women that helped her survive her self-destructive adolescence and provided unconditional support as she scrambled to create a new identity as a “hypercompetent” writer, teacher and editor. “It’s true that I’ve never been satisfied with friendships that stay on the surface. That my friends are my family, my truest beloveds, each relationship a world of its own,” she writes in the title essay “First Love.”

The collection stands out not just for its elegant, unadorned writing but also for the way she effortlessly pivots between personal history and spot-on cultural criticism that both comments on and critiques the way that girls and women have been portrayed — and have portrayed themselves — in the media, including on online platforms like Tumblr and Instagram.

For instance, she examines the 1994 Peter Jackson film, “Heavenly Creatures,” based on the true story of two teenage girls who bludgeoned to death one of their mothers. And in the essay “Sad Girls,” about the suicide of a close friend, she analyzes the allure of self-destructive figures like Sylvia Plath and Janis Joplin to a certain type of teen, including herself, who wallows in sadness and wants to make sure “the world knew we were in pain.”

In the last essay, “On Murder Memoirs,” Dancyger considers the runaway popularity of true crime stories as she tries to explain her decision not to attend the trial of the man charged with killing her cousin — even though she was trained as a journalist and wrote a well-regarded book about her late father that relied on investigative reporting. “When I finally sat down to write about Sabina, the story that came out was not about murder at all,” she says. “It was a love story.”

Readers can be thankful that it did.

AP book reviews: https://apnews.com/hub/book-reviews

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Amy Poehler Wants Her True-Crime Podcast to Make You Laugh

“Women Talkin’ ’Bout Murder,” a loving sendup of the podcast genre, is the latest satirical show from Poehler and her improv friends.

By Sarah Lyall

It was a Friday morning in December, and Amy Poehler was talking about murder. More specifically, she was directing a pair of comic actors over Zoom as they talked about murder in their guise as hosts of a fictional true-crime podcast titled — yes — “Women Talkin’ ’Bout Murder.” Today’s victim: Mary Benson, who went on a yoga retreat and plunged to an untimely demise at the bottom of a ravine.

“Namaste, a Sanskrit greeting that literally means ‘I bow to you’ — and, coincidentally, the last words Mary Benson spoke before she took her final bow on this earth,’” one of the actors, Emily Spivey, ad-libbed in a conspiratorial manner. “Namaste indeed.”

Having been given the story outline — dead lady, picturesque location, potentially murderous yogis — Spivey and her co-host, Liz Cackowski, were improvising the rest, with Poehler offering improv-friendly “yes, and”-style suggestions, punctuated by wild spurts of laughter.

The three women have a long history, dating back to their days on “Saturday Night Live” — Poehler was a cast member, Spivey and Cackowski writers — in the early 2000s. Their many collaborations include the 2019 movie “Wine Country,” written by Spivey and Cackowski and directed by Poehler, in which they and yet more of their comedy friends — Ana Gasteyer, Paula Pell and Maya Rudolph among them — play a group of women on an alcohol-fueled 50th-birthday excursion to Napa.

In character as Donna and Jobeth, the “Murder” podcast hosts, Cackowski and Spivey riffed about their negative attitudes toward yoga. “So good, so good,” Poehler interjected. “Liz, do you want to get us into this corpse-pose thing and talk about how there’s something creepy about yoga, anyway?”

“Women Talkin’ ’Bout Murder,” a 10-part series whose first episode will be released on Thursday, is the third satirical podcast produced by Poehler’s production company, Paper Kite, in partnership with Audacy Podcasts. (A fourth podcast, “Million Dollar Advice,” which premiered in March, provides non-satirical advice on workplace dilemmas.) The first title in the collaboration, “Say More With Dr? Sheila,” featuring Poehler as an aggressively incompetent couples therapist, had its debut last fall. (It reached No. 1 on the Apple Podcast comedy chart, and No. 4 overall.) The second, “The Chris Chatman Do-Over,” which stars the comedian Ike Barinholtz as a hot-take-spouting Joe Rogan-esque shock jock, wrapped up last month.

Conceived last year during the Hollywood writers’ strike, when the no-writing rules were waived for podcasts, “Women Talkin’ ’Bout Murder” was inspired by Poehler and Cackowski’s addiction to podcasts — the cheesy as well as the good.

“I personally am very grateful for how podcasts can make people feel less alone and more connected,” Poehler said during a Zoom interview from her office at Paper Kite in Culver City, Calif. Behind her loomed a large object that looked like some sort of commemorative platter, but was in fact the seal of Pawnee, Ind., the fictional city from her sitcom “Parks and Recreation.”

“That’s the serious version of things,” Poehler continued. “Then there’s the comedic version, which comes from loving something and wanting to do a parody take on it.”

These days, it’s hard to find a celebrity who doesn’t have a podcast featuring other celebrities. On “Armchair Expert,” Dax Shepard shoots the breeze with guests like David Sedaris and Connie Britton. On “Unqualified,” Anna Faris gives relationship advice to, among others, Christina Ricci, Kevin Bacon and David Duchovny. And on “Street You Grew Up On,” people like Eva Longoria, Jimmy Kimmel and Issa Rae chat about their childhoods with Kerry Washington.

Poehler’s podcasts also feature a constellation of stars, mostly old friends she knows from her early improv days in Chicago and New York, and from “Saturday Night Live.” Tina Fey, Rachel Dratch, Will Forte, and Fred Armisen (playing a rather funny A.I. bot) all make appearances in various guises — as fictional characters rather than themselves.

Cackowski compared their approach to that of Armisen, Seth Myers and Bill Hader in “Documentary Now,” the series on Netflix that parodies that genre. “What if we made ‘Documentary Now’ a podcast?” she said. “The whole project has been about which of our friends come hang out and improvise.”

The podcasts include Poehler’s satirical sendups of ads from the sponsors, including ZipRecruiter, eharmony and Kroger, and they stand out in a crowded market, said Jenna Weiss-Berman, executive vice president of Audacy Podcasts. After a period of almost unfettered growth, the industry has endured painful retrenchments in the past year and a half or so, and finding something new and fresh is increasingly difficult, she said.

“This isn’t just celebrities chatting with other celebrities,” Weiss-Berman said. “This is Amy Poehler doing her thing, which is being the master of improv.” While fictional podcasts can sound overly theatrical and dramatic, Weiss-Berman said, Poehler’s titles are “fast and fun.”

Case in point: “Say More,” both an homage to, and a takedown of, the popular genre in which therapists broadcast their sessions with patients. (The title comes from a phrase beloved of the celebrity therapist Esther Perel, who herself appears briefly on one of the episodes, endorsing Dr? Sheila.)

“It’s so interesting, from a voyeuristic point of view,” Poehler said. “But then you’re like, ‘But what kind of person would go on? And also, what kind of therapist, honestly, would do this in public?’”

Dr? Sheila — who is not a real doctor, and who insists for legal reasons that her patients utter the title “doctor” with a question mark in their voices — is fully committed to her ill-conceived therapeutic techniques, like inviting an outrageously intrusive mother-in-law to hide under a pile of blankets in the consulting room as her son and daughter-in-law discuss her lack of boundaries.

“I get to give advice that’s ridiculous,” Poehler said cheerfully. “Say More” reached its zenith (or maybe its nadir) in an episode called “Analysis Paralysis.” Poehler’s Dr? Sheila becomes so frazzled after a session with two married therapists who can’t articulate their problem that she calls her own therapist, Dr. Shelly Cavalier (Rachel Dratch), for support. “I’m frustrated that I’m so frustrated,” she says.

Triggered by Dr? Sheila’s ineptitude, Dr. Cavalier calls her therapist, Trish (Tina Fey), who in turn has to call her own therapist — one of the patients in Dr? Sheila’s original session — to complain about Dr. Cavalier. “I try to set up boundaries with her and she pushes them and pushes them,” Trish sobs.

Poehler described how it works.

“We had an episode where a couple wanted to open up their marriage,” she said. “So we said, ‘OK, here’s the game’ — because in improv you have a game that you’re playing. The game is he wants to open up the marriage, she’s reluctant. And then we think, what would be funny is if she ends up doing really well, and he’s thinking he made a mistake. The end. That’s all we do. And so what’s so fun is the improvisers who join us, they get to decide how they feel about everything and where it will go.”

“The Chris Chatman Do-Over” makes fun of the trope of the “ex-comedian mouthpiece guy who has a lot to say and a lot to learn,” Poehler said. Barinholtz plays Chatman, whose previous show “The Chris Chatman Confrontation,” was canceled after it became prohibitively offensive. Ordered to tone it down and attract female listeners as a condition of his return to the airwaves, Chatman continually makes offensive remarks in the guise of anti-wokeness. Each episode begins with an apology for something he said in the previous one.

As for “Women Talkin’ ’Bout Murder,” it comes from Poehler’s love of driving to work while listening to true-crime podcasts. (Among her favorites are the long-running series “Criminal” and the true-crime comedy cult hit “My Favorite Murder,” featuring long discursive meanderings by the hosts.)

That so many people relish in something so grisly and unpleasant, Poehler said, is one of the things she finds funny about true crime.

“It’s a genre that has so many very serious takes, but it’s so ripe for comedy, because why are we driving to work at 8 o’clock in the morning listening to people get dismembered? Why are all these women talking about these horrible things, and why are we all listening to it?”

One thing about the podcast ecosystem: Hosts are always appearing as guests on one another’s titles, in an endless Möbius strip of interviewers and interviewees. And so all the protagonists in the Poehler universe — Dr? Sheila, the true-crime hosts, and Chris Chatman — pop in and out of each other’s shows. For instance, a couple who sought help from Dr? Sheila will re-emerge on a later “Women Talkin’” episode delving into the mysterious death of the woman’s first husband on a cruise ship.

Poehler said that listening to podcasts helped her get through the difficult years of Covid, and that making them had buoyed her during the writers’ strike. Asked how she maintains her sanity during an unfunny moment in time, she replied, “Good laughs and good friends — that’s the recipe for getting through the toughest times.”

She then successfully deflected the question by channeling Dr.? Sheila, spouting a bunch of authoritative-sounding word salad.

“Sarah, I find it very interesting that you said I come across as happy,” she said. “One thing I’ve learned is that everybody is a lot of things most of the time.”

An earlier version of this article misidentified the actor who is among a range of stars regularly making appearances on Amy Poehler’s podcasts. It is Will Forte, not Will Arnett.

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Sarah Lyall is a writer at large for The Times, writing news, features and analysis across a wide range of sections. More about Sarah Lyall

The State of Podcasting

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Christian Duguay’s podcast, “Valley Heat,” purports to be about the neighbors in the Rancho Equestrian District of Burbank, Calif. One thing is for sure: It’s masterfully absurd .

The success of Alex Cooper’s podcast, “Call Her Daddy,” has birthed a new media company. Can this millennial solve the riddle of what Gen Z wants ?

A host of media companies are all aiming to capitalize on interest in the criminal cases against former President Donald Trump  with true-crime podcasts.